#yeah I'm very much not ready

[hansoeii]

Do you think of me?

#I am not ready to witness these two longing for each other in season 2 it's gonna ruin me #stede writing love letters to ed while on his way to win him back #and ed stealing the wedding toppers and imagining marrying stede during quiet and vulnerable hours #yeah I'm very much not ready #these two are my favorite thing in the world #our flag means death #our flag means death fanart #our flag means death 2 #gay pirates #ofmd #ofmd 2 #stede bonnet #edward teach #ofmd fanart #ofmd 2 fanart #david jenkins #rhys darby #taika waititi #my art #fanart

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #𓄿 #hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this #i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything #i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha #i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass #and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭 #i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise' #also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just #couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah #also uhhh this data is very subjective #i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call #also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them) #but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly #so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance #i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!! #but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol

[sysig]

Ellen McLain’s commentary from my trivia playthrough

#She's so cute <3 #WPP #Portal #Ellen McLain #If you haven't played through the audio commentary I would Absolutely recommend it it is So fun #I clicked out of curiosity - kind of just expecting like a movie's audio commentary y'know? Like a video that highlighted specific scenes #No it's just the whole game again but with trivia pop-ups! I love that!! #It reminded me so much of like trivia track or the pop up fun facts from special editions of movies I would watch as a kid #But you can play through them!! You have to click on them and they spin! I love that!!! #I always love hearing the design and development process - fascinating how the playtesters reacted to this new game! #We take it for granted now but yeah I imagine it would've been very confusing at the time #And I was like ''Well it was such a small team and Ms. McLain was such a large part of it - surely she'll have a few bubbles?'' #She does lol - as soon as I got to her first one (it was a slow burn! They buried the lead with her lol I'm already invested!) I had to go #I saved-quit the game out of sheer excitement and giddiness lol I had to sleep on it before I was ready to come back #It is so cool to hear her natural voice ah <3 And the kinds of direction she was given! Other bubbles also talk about her vocal direction :) #Very cool! I wonder what TTS they used for reference :0 #But to hear her real laugh without the audio processing over and and she still sounds like GLaDOS! I mean of course she does but just jfdksl #That's /her/ laugh! They share a laugh! It's a very similar laugh!! #Not to mention her talking about wanting to play and just fdskalfd they clearly did such a good job with her performance and ahhh #It's too cute it's all too cute sharing a room with GLaDOS while her voice actor talks about making a cake to share with her friends stopppp #I am so enamoured <3 #I also took a bunch of screenshots of GLaDOS still shit-talking while she was being destroyed lol #Actually beat the ending in one try this time :P I ran out of time the last time pfft #But now I've beaten it twice in as many days :D Although I did start it the first time several days ago - but I beat it again quickly! #Has me all the more itching to replay 2 ♪ #WPVG

[shima-draws]

I'm FINALLY getting an MRI to figure out what the FUCK is wrong with me 🎉

#Shima speaks #I actually cannot wait. I'm so DONE. I'm so so over being in pain 24/7 #Me getting on my hands and knees in front of the doctor: Please. FIX me #But yeah getting an MRI is EXPENSIVE as shit so ahaha. Ah. I'm in Trouble #Might have to open up comms double time. And do more adopts #Cries why are medical expenses so. Expensive. #Again I am very much considering walking into traffic. I'm ready to do it at a moment's notice actually.

[grandcovenant]

i know everyone wants the legendary stalker to be cool but i'm obsessed with the fact that besides being like, badass or whatever, the only things we know about her is that she a) liked fancy wine, and b) was rude to a kid. PLEASE if we ever see her let her be the most competent stalker of all time AND a disaster as a person. just unpleasant vibes all around.

#yeah maybe carlo was being pushy but her URGHHHH gemini get these annoying brats out of here was. a bit much. and also kind of funny. #i say all of this fondly. i want her to be terrible because i think its more fun. #lies of p #'she wasnt a bastard nor a sweeper' in my heart its bc both bastards and sweepers found her insufferable ♥️ cringe fail woman of all time #people only talk abt her accomplishments bc if you ask anyone who knew her about her as a person you'd get a very awkward 'ummmmm' #i'm ready to be disappointed if we do get more on her but until then. this is my truth

[qcomicsy]

Listen I like Tim and Steph but I don't go there, however.

Sometimes I remember that one monologue from the Diane of Bojack Horseman when her ex-husband got another girlfriend and think about Steph wondering how did she not have a mental breakdown regarding her and Tim breakup until today.

Because if Red Robin is still cannon and I was her I would have very much a mental breakdown eventually.

Monologue under the cut

"You accidentally see your soon-to-be-ex-husband kiss someone else. At first you think, oh, it's a fing. Whatever. They're drunk. It's a party. But then he puts his hand on the small of her back exactly the way he used to do to you. It means, "I got you." And when he did it to you, it made you feel safe. And you realize he will never do that to you again. And it breaks your heart again. After you thought your heart was so broken that it could never get any more broken. You thought it was safe. But it somehow finds a new way to break. Because even though you're the one who asked for this, now that you've got it you are completely adrift. With no compass, or map"

#like– just broke it off and didn't even explained to her the reason #they've dated for so long an in and out and got broken up and together again and then suddenly he breaks up with you for real and shows up #with a totally different boyfriend and then you realize. Yeah it's actually over. It's definitely over. #And he's happy and says to everybody how happy he is and how he finally found himself and you get wrapped up in his confusing past #confronting the fact that the person you dated years was someone who wasn't ready yet to be full himself with you now he even realized he #wasn't being his full self with you #and then theres his friends and his best friend– #I mean man. #I would very much #despite how much I liked the guy and am happy for him eventually have a real ugly cry about that #and before someone has any doubt no I'm not against timbern in fact I like timbern very much and am happy for Tim and absolutely love their #dynamic #but I think about steph sometimes #platonic timsteph #q rambles #q rants

[silenzahra]

Okay, guys, I'm almost done with my headcanons and ideas for Mario and Luigi being musicians (which I mentioned here yesterday), but I'm unsure about something... 😅

I mostly got inspired by the band I mentioned on that same post, Estopa, since they've always been my favorite band (and they're also brothers like Mario and Luigi). And I thought about adding links to some reference images of Estopa to reflect some specific moments of my Mario and Luigi HCs, but I don't know if that would be a good idea… After all, they're a Spanish band, so it's not like they're well known outside the Spanish-speaking audience 😅 Should I add the links to those images anyways?

I don't think I'd be comfortable with posting the images directly, for I don't want to fill a post about Mario and Luigi with pictures of a Spanish band, so my idea would be to leave just the links. But you know, even if they're reference images (that perfectly illustrate my ideas), I don't know if it would be a good idea to include them... After all, everyone will imagine what I describe in their own way. But given that Estopa have been my inspiration, well... yeah, I don't know what to do 😅

Any help @itsavee4117 @vulpixfairy1985 @kelbreyworshipper and anyone who would like to share their thoughts, pretty please? 🙏💖

#yeah I'm a very indecisive person #sorry to be bothering you guys 😅 #but my HCs are almost ready and I'm. So EAGER to share them!!! #stay tuned for later because I won't take that much to post them 👀 #Mario and Luigi Musicians #super mario bros #mario and luigi #the brothers #headcanons #headcanons coming soon #super mario

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

You know, I think what i fear most about all these soulless Disney remakes is that one day they'll take Hunchback of Notre Dame, one of the strongest and most daring Disney movies ever in its depiction of showing the dark sides of religion without demonizing faith as a whole, and that they'll take Judge Claude Frollo and either make him "sympathetic" or way less extreme than in the original, since Disney is nowhere near as ballsy to do something like directly criticize religious extremists anymore, I think, and that would just DESTROY the great impact that movie's messaging had.

That's not to say I have anything against sympathetic villains, but Frollo is one that was so strong BECAUSE of how awful he was and the position he held, and that fierce kind of villainy should NEVER be changed in his case imo. Very strong teaching moments in there for kids.

#Not that any kids these days are watching Notre Dame or anything 😂 But yeah. #Hunchback of Notre Dame was literally the movie that helped make it click for me that my parents were NOT very good people actually #Kids need these kinds of movies to help them learn when they're being manipulated for the worse #and it would be a shame if this strong example of that were given a crappy half-baked shlop of the original story #It wasn't Little Mermaid specifically that got me thinking abt this bc Ursula was actually still decently evil in it #But more stuff like Cruella and Pinocchio #Well anyways. I'm sure this has been pondered on in much better ways already. I'm just ready to fight someone if they dare change Hunchback #May be the only situation that being a financial flop might be good for it lol hopefully Disney will leave it alone rather than crap on it #In a shitty remake I mean #Frollo is a goddamn legendary untouchable villain and I just KNOW a remake would ruin him #Wow sorry for the random and completely irrelevant rant but I just feel VERY strongly about this lol #OP #Disney #the hunchback of notre dame

[srah-the-violist]

Hey! Thanks for tagging me in the ask game yesterday. I’ve gotta get around to that haha. For yours, I’d love to hear more about the music WIPs you mentioned! Dealer’s choice, whichever one you’d rather share about haha. Love your music! You’re a fantastic violist!!

Hi, thanks so much for the ask! And you're welcome! :D

First of all, I'm so sorry that it took me pretty much a whole week to get around to this! School's been keeping me pretty busy lately, and it sometimes takes a lot of brain cells to think of words

Second, thank you so much for listening to my music! I'm so glad you love it, and your comment made my day! 💜💜💜

As far as my music WIPS go, the one I'm most excited about is the studio version of the Zelda suite! I've mentioned a little bit about it already, but I'm getting the ensemble that played with me on my recital last month to join me again this summer/fall and create a studio recording of the Zelda suite. I'm currently working on getting click tracks set up for it so that I'll be ready to record everyone when the time comes. I can't wait to share it once it's ready!

#I'M SOOOOO SORRY FOR MY DELAYED RESPONSE 😭😭😭😭 #words are hard sometimes 😭😭😭 #anyways yeah! the zelda suite studio version is something i'm really excited about and i can't wait to share it once it's ready! #i'd also kinda like to post periodic updates on it if that's something people on here would be interested in seeing... #anyways! #i'm very excited! #thank you so much for the ask and for your kind comments! #💜💜💜 #ask #ask game #wip game #sillylildude

[suncaptor]

the thing about viewing Jack as a child versus not is that if you're basing it in most ways you would view children and look at it as "infantilization" because Jack is physically developed & communicative in a way that makes you take him seriously then the issue perhaps is how you view children and how they should be treated in the first place. because the ways in which children are vulnerable Jack very much of the time ALSO IS. that is WHY what is happening to him is specifically child abuse. everything that is happening to him is a formative experience regardless of the lack of neurological development that has to happen because it is all he knows. children should be respected the same way Jack should be and children should be protected in the same ways Jack should be. the idea he can speedrun all of the things that make children vulnerable because of being able to control his physical development is kind of ridiculous. time alive allows us to have different ways of forming schemas and understanding how this world and the people in it works. Jack spends this time being abused & traumatised by war. that impact is foundational to his development of his perception even if his brain development stayed the same throughout it.

#he VERY MUCH is in his first and earliest stage of life. he just jumpstarted his development and communication. #AND THAT IS INTERESTING. but he like. absolutely is still vulnerable the way children are as a result. there are of course major difference #like in terms of he has physical strength & powers as well as the way he thinks goes beyond a lot of early markers #due to the development #but man I developed the way I think that matches much of how I do now EXTREMELY young #due to asynchronic development in part #that didn't make me less vulnerable. it just make it way more frustrating the way people treated me #the issue with my perception wasn't due to development it was due to the fact I Didn't Know As Much beyond what was immediately around me #short term. i didn't have time for that age. #that's why like a fully developed teenager isn't necessarily ready to be in a relationship with a grown adult for example. #in humans these sort of age and development we know on a particular scale #but the way we treat children in general is an issue!!! #regarding Jack & sex I feel like so many ways you would slice it there's extreme power imbalances on his end. but I don't really care to #get into all that but I'm not going to be like 'yeah bc supernatural a show where the main character has on multiple occasions flirted with #or wanted to flirt with teenage girls' is like. a good barometer for that anyways #and if calling someone a child is an insult then you need to change how you perceive children. #however!!! children SHOULDN'T be heading armies in the apocalypse. this is an opinion I do think exists for both children and Jack. #he makes me so sad oh my god #jack kline #jack #spn #supernatural #incoherents

[knifegremliin]

holy shit y'all i can See (<- just got new glasses)

#🔪.text #these seriously make one hell of a difference #but tbf my old glasses were like. 7-8 years old LOL #so yeah makes sense #but God Damn #also i got transition lenses on these and hooooly shit..... #oh they're so nice #automatic sunglasses!! #also they're aviator frames so B] #i basically have aviator sunglasses and it is Awesome #i look cool as fuck #i was a little worried that i might regret my choice bc uh #they are Very Different from my old glasses #they gotta be at least twice the size of them #they were not what i was planning on getting #but ohhhh the joy i got when i saw them on my face... #i did not get that joy when i looked at the kind of frames i was Planning to get #and hey. do what brings you joy right? #thankfully i still got that same joy when i put these on #my opinion did not change in the almost month it took for these to be ready #i look cool as fuck. they bring me So Much Joy #especially when i first saw them when they got dark #holy shit y'all. best fucking decision ever. #and god knows i needed some joy bc i have been so severely lacking in that lol #i'm sure it'll fade eventually #but for right now i feel cool as fuck

[lexicals]

Swear to god I don't know why I ever try to bring anything up with that woman it's never a good idea but every time I'm like "what if this time I'm not immediately told I'm wrong". Call me either an optimist or a fool

#wastepaper basket #I want to try at some point getting another cat as a companion for melody bc she's been very needy & understimulated since josie's been gone #And as much as I want to I can't be at home to play with her all day y’know. As much as the two of them didn't really get on #they did at least keep each other active lmao..... and I think melody is missing having another cat to play with #And like a cat who will actually play with her as well rather than just chasing her off? #I'm like I'm not gonna go for it any time soon bc I'm not ready for that but I think it'd be a good thing for her once she's settled #into the new place a bit. And mum's like 'I don't think that's a good idea I think she needs a year to just be by herself' which like? What #I have no idea where that is coming from. She seems to think that melody is having a great time being the centre of attention? And yeah #I'm sure she's happy being able to go wherever she wants without josie smacking her in the head but like she is BORED. I am spending hours #at a time playing with her (bc mum won't help) and I don't mind doing that but also sometimes I'm out or tired and she has a Lot of energy #She's a much more social cat than josie was and I think she would respond well to having some company!!! But no I don't know what I'm #talking about as always. #And her being like 'why don't you leave melody here and get 2 kittens from the shelter' ???? I don't want a new cat bc it's new?? #That completely defeats the point??? Then melody would just be here with someone she isn't as attached to and won't fucking play with her?? #I'm like it's about company for HER & she's like 'well what about company for me' WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE SHELTER THEN????

[itsallwearecalledtodo]

God is really yelling at me loud and clear and I'm plugging my ears with my fingers going LALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU

#was reading st faustina and she was like i'm too weak for this :( i'm not ready #and then Jesus told her it's ok that's why I'm here for you I will be strong in your weakness #you just need to have faith and do what I tell you #and then was rewatching itsv #and the whole how do i know when i'm ready/it's a leap of faith thing... #yeah uh my amcas app is sitting unsubmitted. just sitting there. incomplete. #every time i try to work on it i'm filled with so much fear and dread #that i wanna vomit and throw up and die #and God is very clearly telling me to just fucking DO IT but I CANT #pls pray for me. please. #that's all

[tvrningout]

also lemme just say that i appreciate everyone indulging me with ships and fluff and whatnot bc i've always been so nervous about asking for that stuff despite!! really loving it!! i just love all the character development that's involved, i love all the emotional connection and the significance of lil actions and words can have on someone, i love writing and thinking about all of it!! and i just!! really appreciate that lately, i feel comfortable openly offering romantic connections uvu

#i go back and forth a ton about this #sometimes i feel confident offering romance and other times i feel anxious and avoid it -- i won't like shipping calls myself unless #i feel very confident in the ship's chemistry and very comfortable with the mutual involved #i can't tell you how much i appreciate my mutuals who have flat out asked if i wanted to ship bc y'all i could never oh my gosh #will i quietly contemplate it?? yeah but i won't say a word for a hot minute bc i worry about making someone uncomfortable #or coming off as if i'm ship-chasing but nah!! sometimes the chemistry is just there and my muse is shaking me like pls... pls lemme kiss.. #ANYWAY!! thank you all once again for helping me feel comfy in my own space <3 y'all are the best and i'm sending you so much love <3<3<3 #get ready to ramble | ooc

[mokeonn]

Man I gotta get started on that dnd comic idea I've had for a while because if yall like Poetry yall are REALLY gonna like Mystery

#simon says #I might actually make Mystery and Poetry 'sisters' #it's in quotes because Poetry is an Asmodeus tiefling and Mystery is a reborn #to be more specific #Mystery is a Reborn made of 3 Zariel tieflings an Asmodeus tiefling a white dragonborn and a gnome #they're both tieflings but Poetry is also a bard and they're different kinds of tieflings. one fae one infernal #but I think they'd get along well #but yeah I realized 'oh boy if yall like this little pink ball of sunshine get ready for a little yellow ball of sunshine!' #I'll have to draw art tomorrow after work but I do like the idea of Mystery and Poetry being found family of some sort #mainly because I think they would get along #they're both silly little warlocks #but yeah I really need to get that dnd comic idea started #i had this idea for a while and im really attached to it #i wanna get back into making comics and I wanna use these dnd characters while not getting rid of their dnd-ness #I'll probably post about it more this year #i got like two projects im working on out of passion and my love of the crafts (video games and comics) #but I'm also working on making an income from my art or just finding a job i enjoy that suits me #whatever comes first #but yeah I am absolutely gonna talk about my characters more soon because I love them so much and I just KNOW yall will love them too #they're very loveable little guys #a group of the fantasy equivalent of 20-something adventurers #specifically 4 of them #i HAVE been debating on adding one more but that might just be a later addition to the cast or not at all #I'll absolutely post about them more as I work on the comic #I'm worried about posting about it now since like #the designs could change?? #like the characters themselves are set in stone but i am STRUGGLING with outfit design #gonna have to figure out some comfy camp outfits or something so I can draw and post them here before I decide on their main outfits #except Cardamon he's perfect just the way he is #I got his wizardly swag down perfectly on the second try

[heavenknowsffs]

Sorry for another vent post but here goes

#like i'm not looking for a relationship ok ? but i met this guy and we've been hooking yp #but like he is being all sweet and caring and he is great don't get me wrong #he's like eddie munson i'm not gonna lie #but at the same time he doesn't get my jokes and when i make a sarcastic comment or something funny he always thinks i'm being honest #and then he's too sweet if it makes sense in normal convos? BUT if i am ganuinely distressed (which i am a lot you guys know) #he is just not very emotionally intelligent 😬 and like it's all fun and wtv but i feel like he might like me more than i like him #and i called him babe once bc i had this girl friend who calls everyone babe and i spent like 3 days with her so i called him that #and now he always calls me babe and i'm like 😐 pls stop but i can't tell him to stop bc it will seem rude #and yeah my friends that know him are like he's such a cool guy and so sweet and everything and it looks like we're dating #but like we're not man we're not i met him a few weeks ago #anyway i think in reality i'm trying to find bad things about him just so i can justify not liking him and sabotage the whole thing bc + #+ i'm too afraid lmao #i think i'm emotionally unavailable and don't want a relationship or feel ready for it at all #i feel like i'm starting that age most ppl have at 18/19 of exploring and just vibing except i should have gone through that then #but i never got the change bc of abusive relationships and being at home and not having freedom to just exist #and now i do and i feel like if i start dating someone i'll lose my freedom again #which should not even happen in a healthy relationship but that's how i feel #maybe will talk about this to my therapist see what he says #i think i know what he will say like 'you're just afraid don't think about it too much tell him how you feel' #and i HAVE told him generally how i feel and that i don't want to move mad about it and he was like 'no were just getting to know eachother