#yeah I did not help myself there

[dimiart]

Just doing so many godamn sketches of them just for one idea and I can’t stop

#genshin bosses #genshin impact #genshin fanart #I can’t stop thinking about them like PLEASE #op is a dumbass who decided to draw them while listening to love story and fucking cried #yeah I did not help myself there #myart #i want what they have #artists on tumblr #illustration #icewind suite

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose #raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner #leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes #(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl) #(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink) #(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him) #but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone #like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like #‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be’ #or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like #‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’ #‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’ #‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’ #‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘ #SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF #(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)

[bluespiritshonour]

here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff. #can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art? #anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable. #I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee! #if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem! #its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome' #instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems! #anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now! #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Collection of edits from this comic with Disco Elysium dialogue.

#What do I even tag this #mdzs #mdzs disco elysium au #There are so many line that work very well for them. Alas I was constrained by the panels I had. #So many hbd and kim conversations fit the wangxian dynamic its unreal. #Once again I am politely holding out Disco Elysium as a recommendation: So long as you are aware of it's content and warnings. #It is truly one of the most hopeful games about trauma and despair. It is hilarious in a way that frames the tragedy perfectly. #Be warned that it is a dark and heavy read. But it is truly a life changing experience. #It helped my get out of a bad place in realizing how much I was hurting myself by trying to hold onto the past and regrets. #Go in as blind as you can. If you are ready for it - you will not regret playing this game. #In other news...yeah okay so I meant to spend the rest of my saturday drawing more pd-mdzs #Then I started watching Link Click.... oops where did the time go? #Permit me another day of stalling and I will have comics coming soon. Might sprinkle some LC doodles in the mix too.

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions #and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety #but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake #AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior #is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out #of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and #maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you. #I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it. #I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about #it?’ #that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words #I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him #and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can #trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me #it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways #at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison #and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane #mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed #patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused #all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona #(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage #does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head #kazumaji #majima #kiryu #yakuza #kiwami 1 #yk1 #rambling

[antiterf]

Whenever a transphobe talks about how trans people are putting on a mask and pretending to be something we're not I think of what I wrote as a closeted 15-year-old as my gender dysphoria was leading me to disassociate while at school.

"This isn't us. This is a mask. This is a script. And everything we do is all part of an act."

Like... Maybe you think that you would feel like you're pretending to be something you're not but it's kind of the opposite.

#I thought of it and tracked it down to see when I added the little mind quote that I have a google doc for #it was in 2017 and the semester before I started being out at school #and yeah edgy but accurate to how I felt at the time #It really did feel like I had a mask I couldn't take off #notaterftip #not sarcasm #also if you're wondering why we is used it's because I made distinct characters to talk to with different traits #but recognized them as parts of myself #they were very helpful for coping with fucked up situations and I still talk to them from time to time #but as you can see I use I now

[goryhorroor]

horror monsters + their actors

#i did with one with universal monster so i tried to do some like that weren;t #yeah theres like 3 or three universal horror monsters but i couldn't help myself #horror #horror movies #max schreck #nosferatu #lon chaney #the phantom of the opera #alan ladd #island of lost souls #john barrymore #dr. jekyll and mr. hyde #the hunchback of notre dame #the fly #carroll borland #mark of the vampire #paul wegener #the golem #filmedit #horroredit #moviesedit #cinema #david hedison

[hannibal-confessions-nbc]

On the subject of Will Truths, I think I'm an Evil Will Truther. Like, if he never even met Hannibal, working for Jack would have set Will on the path to somewhere, sometime realize he liked killing. It might have gone like it did with Hobbs at first but eventually, on his own, Will would have gotten to the point of trying it again, calmly and deliberately. And it would feel delicious.

.

#hannibal confessions #yeah. evil will truther.but I think he already knew he liked killing #he was just so repulsed by the fact that he did. enjoying something doesn't mesn you dont feel guilty for it btw. #he enjoys it and he knows it and he feels immensely guilty and repulsed by himself for it #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #hannibal was there to try and help will accept that he liked it snd saw beauty in it because will wouldnt let himself #and obvi hannibal was there bc he wanted him sooooo bad 😏😏 and to kill together 4eva #hate myself for wording it like that

[mori-no-majou]

so we’ve established by now that we’ve all acquired an inner Senshi that tells us to eat properly and an inner Chilchuck that tells us to be mindful of our rights in the workplace, but what about Laios and Marcille? their self-care schticks are a little bit more abstract than the other two, so I’m curious as to what everyone’s learning from them

#dungeon meshi #personally my laios tells me to stop forcing myself to wear clothes that are Bad Sensory just bc I’m going out in public #I have a specific pair of Leaving The House Trousers that everyone always says are very stylish and androgynous #but they’re made of scratchy fabric and have an annoying seam and don’t keep my shirt properly tucked in #so I’ll be standing in my loose jsk (good sensory but gets me a bad grade in transmasc) looking mournfully at the trousers #and that’s when laios will pop up like ‘well I wouldn’t pick the trousers. anyway do you want to hear a monster fact’ #on the flipside my marcille mostly helps with motivating me to take care of my appearance on days when I wouldn’t otherwise have the spoons #particularly maintaining my hair (yeah I know) #I’ve said this before but ryoko kui did such a good job of tricking nerds into taking care of ourselves in every possible respect haha

[m3llowm1sh]

MERCH DROP MERCH DROP YIPPEEE

GRAARGGARHHHFHHHFHDGJFJ 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 HI MAXIMO LUCKY JONRONERO SAVE ME MAXIMO LUCKY JONRONERO I LOVE YOU FOREVER LUCKY JONRONERO oh yeah and miners there too hi miner i GUESS.

#rhythm doctor #rhythm doctor lucky #rhythm doctor miner #rhythm doctor hailey #rhythm doctor logan #rhythm doctor ada #<- theyre so small in the official art and i did NOT do them justice im so sorry guys 😭 #miner scales #mishs art tag #the bg is giving project sekai tbh #anyways. i dont need it. i dont need it i dont need it I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED IT #i already got the working remotely shirt recently but I LITERALLY NEED THIS ONE SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD #LIKE I WAS THINKING TO MYSELF THAT IF ACT 5/LUCKY MERCH DROPPED ID DEFINITELY GO INSANE. AND YEAH. IM GOING INSANE. #ITS BEEN LIKE 3 HOURS AND I HAVENT STOPPED BEING GIDDY ABOUT THEM hejhefbasnnkjfdasm #the official art is NOT helping at all like theyre so. theyre soooooooooo theyre ssososoossoos *dies* #sorry im like not ok about them ill never be ok about them tbh 😭😭

[darkvolley]

Excuse the YouTuber in the corner I'm too lazy to switch to a different video but, it's probably a pretty easy conclusion to come to that KH might function off a somewhat stable time loop but nothing has really made it feel blatantly obvious than realizing that actually, since Ansem SoD sent Young Xehanort to Scala, that would mean there would have to be a starting timeline where the first SoD went back to start the loop, meaning there has to be a timeline where Xehanort never left Destiny Islands MEANING there has to be a timeline where SoD never existed, and as such neither did Xemnas and Terranort never happened along with basically everything else. So are we in fact confirming that KH does indeed function off a stable timeloop that never truly "started" somewhere and has just always been this way, or what in the world could have happened to still lead Xehanort to Scala without interference? Cuz now I have to wonder, if we're going by stable timeloop, then either Sora creates the tear in time every loop effectively creating endless ones over and over which could lead to a bigger problem(or not a problem at all if it's supposed to happen??) OR this is somehow the first deviation, which doesn't feel likely considering obviously Quadratum and Srelitizia being there seems to be decidedly factored into the equation here, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it hasn't been. Or maybe the problem is that Sora's genuinely not supposed to be there. Idk where I'm going anymore, but basically if time started somewhere and it hasn't always been a loop, how did we get HERE to the point in the screenshot where SoD/practically everything was able to exist to "create itself" essentially??? And I don't think that's possible without outside intervention, so it's gotta be a stable timeloop!

#(and heres how i can prove MoM is future Sora from the past cuz time loops back around!!!) no i dont wanna make it about that even tho i do #but also now i wonder how MoM meeting young nort even factors into anything when it feels like dark road is the reason he went down his path #like. what further push could meeting MoM have possibly given him that dark road didnt??? #especially since its before the exam #granted imo nort seemed so absent emotions wise from everything happening in DR that i feel like it didnt really affect him at all #i think some interal dialogue from him would have helped tremendously cuz hes just so blank during the whole story #like it does fit his personality as the quiet guy but like. it makes it look like he doesnt care about anything happening #so i mean. if he kinda didnt then yeah maybe the MoM meeting did help push him along #granted i dont remember half the dialogue and ive barely started the video the screenshot is from so like. let me cook before you correct me #i'll correct myself when i get there and remember all the dialogue lol

[adrift-in-thyme]

Note to self: never again let it slip to an irl person that I write whump

#told two of my classmates today #I’m exhausted so it just kinda slipped out #plus I assumed they’d be at least a little ok about it #given that they’re into fandom stuff #but no #they definitely thought I was some kind of freak #and I wasn’t about to try and defend myself #‘writing this stuff is a kind of therapy for me I promise I’m not sadistic or creepy!’ #yeah that would’ve gone over wonderfully #*sighs* #figures that one of the only personal things I shared this whole semester gets this reaction #why do I even try #I never talk about myself #I let everyone else vent and tell me everything #and when I try to open up I screw myself #trin rambles #vent #ignore me I’ll be fine #it’s just a really yucky day today #I’m not in a great place mentally and that did nothing good for me #hopefully sleep will help #…if I manage to get any sleep that is #ugh #delete later

[nb2000]

Look the showrunner called Rogue/Gambit the OTP in an interview (er...before he got fired) so they're clearly going somewhere with this and it's FINE and I can be patient and wait to see where that somewhere is and it's FINE.

#X Men '97 #spoilers #or I just go re-read Mrs and Mrs X a bunch of times to reassure myself. that works too. #help me Kelly Thompson. you're my only hope. #I got my original childhood OTP back but they're making us suffer for it #yeah yeah you got to have tension an earn a resolution but also: find a way to do that that ISN'T a love triangle #what is it with x-men writers and shoving Rogue at Magneto? let it go. #'it's canon from the comics!' okay doesn't mean I can't hate it #I did say I was going to be unbearable when this show finally dropped. don't say I didn't warn you. #Rogue #Gambit #Mr and Mrs X #random babble

[officialspec]

Hi are you still doing the ama? I have a lot of general confusion and don't know whether I would consider T or not. I'm really scared of the negatives and for me they might outweigh the positives. If it's not too much trouble, could you make a pros and cons list of everything you've experienced? Please be open about the cons, I want a balanced veiw so I can weigh things up properly. Thank you sm!

i guess i wanna start by saying - a lot has changed since i started 5 yrs ago!! if youre curious or concerned, i would genuinely recommend booking an appt with a doctor and talking honestly about your goals to see if T is a viable option (obviously depending on location and safety etc)

one of my close friends wanted a more androgynous outcome, so theyre taking a lower dose to assess the changes at a slow pace and thats working well for them!! transitioning isnt an exact science, so theres always some give and take with medications to get a result you like, and doctors are generally willing to help facilitate that

for me, ive loved nearly every effect ive gotten from testosterone. i love my facial and body hair, i love my broad shoulders, i love the shape of my hands and face, i love my voice, i LOVE bottom growth. i like the way my hair texture has changed and my skin feels different. its great

for stuff im less fond of, i dont like running hotter and sweating more (sweating is like a huge sensory issue for me), and i dont like how my hair is thinning. but both of those are easily managed with small lifestyle changes, so its just kind of a mild discomfort most of the time. when i first started the mood swings were really difficult, but i was dealing with a lot of mental health issues at the time and its gotten much easier in the years since <3

#its hard to think of stuff i dislike tbh SDFJSDJ #testosterone was the best thing i ever did for myself. i feel like a much more complete version of myself now and its awesome #ask #trans stuff #but like yeah if ur interested and u have the ability talk to a gender confirmation specialist !!! they are there to help u #its not like the old days where u had to lie to get any leeway at all. and thank god for that