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leonsbimbogf · 20 days

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I adore you, I swear.

🍃! Plug! Miguel O'Hara x reader !🍃

A/n: I got an ask about a plug Miguel x reader but my laptop crashed and I lost the ask. I'm so sorry stinky butt but here it is 🤞🙁, but dw this is only part one the next part is smut🙏. btw credits to JesGreenEight on Deviant art for the banner! ngl it might be short.

cw: miggy fw's u heavily 😼, reader's kinda like shy when they around him, weed, a cheesy porn plot boo me all y'all want!!

You needed to get some weed from none other than your dealer Miguel O'Hara. There was no problem having a favorite client but you were different. With your timid voice and shy actions, you had him swooning. Lately having alone time has been pretty tough on you and you needed a release, the sad thing was, you didn't have any money. You thought to yourself,

“how can I even buy weed if I barely have any money”

you pick up your phone and you start to text your dealer.

Y/n: hii do you still have any left? :((

He immediately texts back. Before you can even close your phone. He was into you but can you even realize that he wants you? His favorite client.

Secret Spidey: So needy for weed? Come to the same spot. I’ll be there in 20.

You rushed to change. Even if you were in a hurry you didn’t wanna look bad at least. You quickly noticed what was the point. It’ll be quick. you put on a jacket as you walk out of your apartment. You walk to your destination, the back of an abandoned corner store. Usually, you two would meet in his car but since it’s under repair he used his motorcycle to meet you. He doesn’t treat you like other clients, He even offers to smoke in his car with you. If you were some other client he would’ve given you only just weed and a cold glare with it. As he walks up to you you both realize how he was much taller than you and most definitely towering over you.

“Hey, Miguel..”

you say with a bit of a grin.

“Oh bunny, what's up, you told me you needed some right?

“Bunny? Where in the hell did this nickname come from?” Your thoughts cloud your head as you think about all of this, how close he was to you, the cute nicknames, how his eyes practically show hearts in them when they look at you.

he puts his hand on your back and smiles as he does you start shaking slightly from a cold breeze hitting the back of your neck. you were gonna ask a stupid question and you knew he would get a bit pissy.

“Miguel.. uhm..I was wondering if you can give me..some for free..you don’t have to it's just-“ you say ranting, hoping for him to at least hear you out on why you want the free deal. He cuts you off with a sudden deep sigh. He looks you in your eyes and in reaction, you put your head down immediately.

“Aren’t you just the cutest huh?” He says with a faint chuckle before disappearing. Before you can even get a single word in, you open your mouth and something comes out but yet again he cuts you off.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head yea? I’ll get you some weed, I just need you to do something for me..” your eyes light up with interest then he smiles at your eagerness. He always had eyes for you and you were just his type.

“Okay I can help but how so?” you asked biting your lip. you pray that he would say something back that you would like. It sounded like a cheesy porno but honestly, he was attractive and so were you. You have known this man for years so what’s the harm in that? you guys are just two people wanting to have a release and maybe more. Who knows?

this was my old taglist but here you go pookies ♥: @moon-rivr @monstera02 @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @lazyjellyfish300 @chiwhorei

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ghost-proofbaby · 1 month

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GHOOOOST as much as maroon has taken over every single brain cell of mine, i can’t seem to stop thinking about 24 hours!eddie and reader lately! they still got me on a chokehold!

i was just thinking, like in the long run, were they endgame? i know they’re head over heels for each other but like.....are they in it for the long haul? what would happen if like the topic of getting married or having kids was brought up, how are they both going to react? 👀

i’m not asking or forcing you to write a blurb out of this or anything so please don’t feel pressured, i’m genuinely just curious about their lore!!! 😭 and i also miss them so much lmao might end up re-reading the series again while waiting for the next maroon chapter ❤️❤️❤️

anyway i luv u and i hope you’re having a great day!

wanna know a secret? they definitely still live rent free in my mind as well.

they were definitely end game in the long haul of things. in my mind, it's actually funny, because i've thought about them watching their friends constantly getting into relationships and those relationships constantly ending, and yet they're still there and going strong as ever while everyone is just like "...what the fuck?"

nancy and johnathan would probably end up breaking up in the twenty four hours universe. that's actually canon based on a sequel idea i had. like, we're talking not very long after the events of the main fic. nancy would go to reader and probably rant in the midst of her heartbreak "i just don't get it. i thought me and johnathan - we were gonna make it, you know? i thought we had the perfect relationship. and, no offense, but compared to you and eddie, we did." (which she obviously doesn't mean, but she's just hurt and projecting. we all know nancy was a number one reader x eddie shipper). and reader could grow insecure about it and overthink, but when she ends the day getting to gossip all about it to eddie, he just scoffs and said "excuse me? what the hell does that mean? out of spite, we're definitely gonna end up growing old together. gonna mock them from across the retirement home as i kiss all your wrinkles. that'll show them." and she's just reminded that, oh, yeah. it doesn't matter what other people think. this is her idiot for the long haul. and spoiler: it isn't spite keeping them together. it's the way eddie looks at reader like she painted the night sky just for him. it's the way eddie is the first person reader wants to talk to in nearly every scenario, the way he's the first person her eyes draw to in every room no matter how crowded. they bicker endlessly, they aren't always acting the most lovesick and nauseatingly affectionate with each other in front of others, and there's certainly been plenty of fights where the gang holds their breath for the announcement of a breakup, but they always find a way to make it through. always. they're one of those couples, ya know?

and i could also ramble about the whole marriage/kid discussion, but i actually had a short one shot about it i wanted to write! i think i've avoided posting any of the excess content i had planned for them because i don't want to beat a dead horse, you know? it's been over a year now, and even though i love and adore them, i don't want to seem like i'm milking that universe haha. if that's something y'all would like to see now even though it's been so long, i am finally out of my funk with writing them and could probably post some of those one shots! especially because the way they go about conversations like kids/marriage is so fuckin funny to me.

i luv you even more, and hope you have the most wonderful of days, friend <3 thank you for not letting one, but TWO??? of my stories take up residency in your thoughts. it means the world to me and i'm giving you all the hugs and forehead kisses <3

#thank u ily #24 hours #i feel like i already know the answer to the one shot question lol #maybe i'll write some for them today #that would be fun #something light hearted to break up my current dramatic ass stories #24!eddie and reader definitely settled comfortably into their relationship crazy quickly and became the epitome of an old married couple

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yogfan14 · 11 months

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What are your thoughts on Ganondorf in TotK?

HOUGH okay

I'm gonna be honest, TotK stresses me tf out when it comes to the lore and Ganondorf himself as well. As someone who tends to read the lore a lot more and a lot deeper than normal fans of the series do, I have a lot to say lmao

TL;DR: phenomenal design, character writing is not as shitty but still shitty

I don't wanna take up y'all's entire dashboards so feel free to keep reading if you wanna hear me ramble

So first off, I do genuinely love Ganondorf's new design. Honestly, I just love the fact that he's back at all. We haven't seen Ganondorf in a mainline game since 2007, with the Wii release of Twilight Princess. Honestly, the only complaint I have about TP Ganondorf is the hairstyle, like what was bro thinking. Otherwise he was downright terrifying, loved his overall design, and how he linked back to OoT so well.

In 2013, we got the spinoff game Hyrule Warriors, which introduced to us the fan favorite long-haired Ganondorf (that, let's be real, we all just willed into canon for TotK), and honestly my favorite design of him thus far. I mean, look at him. He's slayin without even trying.

But the one thing that bugs me about them is that their designs don't feel "Gerudo". Definitely speaks evil, King of Demons, the whole shebang that is, y'know, his entire theme. But while there are a few obvious references to it, it doesn't really speak Gerudo. It doesn't actually feel Gerudo, it feels like he would have grown up outside the culture when he probably didn't see the grass of Hyrule field until he was at least mid to late teens. The only things making him Very Obviously Gerudo are the dark skin and red hair.

TotK Ganondorf broke that cycle.

In TotK, Ganondorf actually feels Gerudo. His overall design is V E R Y reminiscent of his culture and background and I actually like it. He doesn't feel like this Guy who just happens to share traits with the other Gerudo. All of the stylized jewelry, the sweatpants, the hairstyle, even his robe actually screams Gerudo. He actually feels like he belongs to the culture.

And that's just on his design. If you really pay attention in the Dragon Tears memories, he's actually given a bit more character than normal and possibly motives outside that of just pure power and greed. Which tbh I'm fucking bored of in regards to Ganondorf but that's for another rant on another day.

In the memory where Ganondorf and his people meet up with Rauru, Ganondorf mentions a key bit of information that I don't think many people noticed.

"Allow me to offer you my deepest apologies on behalf of the Gerudo for taking so long to accept your repeated invitations."

That last bit right there, repeated invitations. This line alone implies that the Gerudo as a whole probably weren't on board with the idea of coming under Hyrule's guard, but more importantly, that Rauru wouldn't take no for an answer. As the leader of the Gerudo at the time, Ganondorf probably dealt with letter after letter after letter of Rauru trying to get them to join Hyrule, when it's likely that the Gerudo made it very clear that they weren't interested and were satisfied just vibing on their own. So, right there, that gives Ganondorf reason to dislike Rauru greatly. I know I would in his position.

While it is shown that Ganondorf most certainly still has that hunger for power, his people were backing him up for the most part. They probably wanted Hyrule to leave them tf alone too and thought that the attack memory was their way of saying "hey, we're fine on our own, fuck off" (at least that's the vibe I've gotten from it). Ganondorf definitely still wanted power, that much was obvious, and it probably wasn't obvious to his people until he started conquering everything after Sonia's death and his takeover of the kingdom. He actively betrayed the trust of his people and everyone who looked up to him. Which he did in OoT too, but you had to do a little more digging on that one.

While I still have my complaints about his character, at least he feels a little more fleshed out in TotK. Granted that I haven't finished the game yet; I'm taking my sweet time just exploring and causing problems and riding the dragons for hours at a time. I may be missing some key details as a result and if anyone spoils me I'm going to hunt you down and eat your toes

I'll go on about the overall lore around TotK and why it hurts my brain so much another time bc this post is already absurdly long but uh yeah lol

#totk spoilers #ganondorf #legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom

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emerald-notes · 4 months

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Found something in my draft and wanted to share it...

So, I just read Johnathan Swift’s Meditation Upon a Broomstick. Honestly, I barely knew its context yet the finishing misogynistic tone kind of threw me off. So, I did some digging and here’s what I could gather so far.

Let me give you some quick summary and the background context of it. Apparently, Swift had to do some reading of Occasional Reflections Upon Several Subjects by Robert Boyle to the ladies of the house. These are usually some observations of Boyle’s of the regular objects and his attempt to link a philosophical connection with the said objects using biblical references and such. Swift found them to be absolute nonsense and in an attempt to criticize Boyle he produced his very own lamentation on a regular object such as the broomstick which he called some kind of ‘meditation’ from his part. At the beginning, the ladies could not catch on to that but soon realized that the rant was taking an absurd turn instead of a philosophical one.

Now, upon reading some analysis of the text (Swift’s), I came to find out that not only he meant to ridicule Boyle but also his readers. And I took it personally. What kind of person mocks other people just because they take pleasure from certain kinds of entertainment that doesn’t appeal to this particular person personally?

Now, I might have considered that Swift genuinely believed that Boyle’s ideas were trash if I hadn’t read something in another article. There are hints that Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels were inspired by Boyle’s idea of creating such a romantic story. So, I would have loved to question, why Johnathan, why? Why did you despise Boyle so much? Is it because his works entertain more ladies than yours? Because he’s more popular among women than you are? Are you jealous?

I also came to another conclusion upon this matter. It is not new that we are ridiculed for our liking for anything. Women have been insulted time after time for something they are interested in, something that they can relate to, something that gives them comfort. Whether women enjoy romantic movies or K-pop or anything at all, they are sure to be made fun of. Because long before, they were even insulted upon liking someone who is now known to be the first modern chemist. In this context, Swift's witty nature seems bitter, doesn’t it?

I loved A Modest Proposal, which is the first and the only thing I read by Johnathan Swift. I really expected something better from him. Now, some of y'all might come at me saying it was only meant to be a joke. Swift and even the ladies might have had some laughs over this event. Of course, that could be the case. I wouldn’t even have to know about it then. The fact that he esteemed this manner was right to be made public in writing is what bothers me.

That was just my thoughts. Let me know if you have something to say as well. Also, feel free to correct me if I get anything factually wrong.

#jonathan swift #swift #gulliver's travels #ranting #literature #classic literature #books #irish lit

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justagalwhowrites · 2 months

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Bestie! This last Yearling's chapter was so much! It was an emotional rollercoaster, starting with the tension between Bambi and the others when the idea of leaving Joel there sprouts from Gene. I'd have put Gatling on guard mode, too. And then… If having Bambi on Joel's bedside playing him songs and telling him what she tells him didn't have my heart bursting with love, pain, and so much angst, his conversation with Sarah sealed the deal and made me tear up. Good job! Holding Bambi will be his best medicine.

At least out of all this shitshow, Savvy and Bambie are talking again, and Savvy seems to have done some deep thinking and realized with what she heard the doctors say that there's more on her mother's side of the story in these past years. Their relationship is not perfect, but it feels like they are on the right path. Perhaps Ellie, despite her rage and fear of losing Joel, will listen to Bambi's words about Joel not wanting her to turn into a murderer.

I loved the chapter. It hurt to read, but it was really good, and hopefully, the upcoming chapters will have more sweetness and fluffiness in them. Thanks for the update! It was so worth the wait it took you to write it. And please don't feel bad for needing more time to write it. Writing should be for fun and not an obligation, and a full-time job and a life take time. Maybe I'm being a bit too harsh, but anyone who doesn't understand it and respects it shouldn't be around here. Lots of hugs, love!🫂♥️

OMG HI BESTIE!!!

Bambi was in FULL protector mode there, her priorities were Joel and Joel alone, everyone else could fuck right on off, thank you very much. I don't blame Gene for being like "this seems hopeless and I need to get people out of here" but I'd have done the same thing Bambi did in response. That's her man right there, she's gonna fight for him.

And yes, Savvy!! There's still some ground to cover. She's a teenager, after all, things are going to take time and she's still very hurt. I get why Bambi is so reluctant to tell her the whole truth but her dancing around it makes it harder. Her ending up with "bad people" could mean what happened to her, it could mean that she decided to run with raiders of her own free will and got hurt trying to steal shit from someone. Who knows? Not Savvy! It's a tough spot for both of them but they're getting there. And Ellie is Ellie. Thankfully, she values Bambi's opinion VERY highly and she's not going to want to go far from Joel as he recovers, too, which makes things a bit easier as far as keeping her around. At least for now. We'll just have to see what Ellie gets up to next!

There is some DEFINITE fluff coming up before we dive into what's going to be the final major arc of this story (which is coming up so fast omg!!)

Thank you so much, you are so kind. I should say, though, that no one is being mean about my update times except myself! Everyone here is so kind and lovely and yeah. I just get very frustrated with myself when I don't make the deadlines I set for myself and then there are other things with this fic that I'm very frustrated with myself about that makes the not posting when I want feel worse and yeah. It's all me! Y'all are wonderful ❤️ I know the internet can be a fraught place and that even in this fandom, people can say and do hurtful things but I've been incredibly lucky to have had just an overwhelmingly positive experience from everyone here. And that's part of why I hate it when I don't get things posted. I feel so bad about taking TWO WEEKS to update Yearling this time. I mean that's TWO WEEKS of y'all not knowing what was going to happen after Joel passed out from blood loss. That's nuts and I'm sorry for that! You're all so lovely and patient that I feel like you deserve better and I'm not doing that at the moment which is frustrating for me.

ANYWHO enough of my ranting lol thank you so so much for such a kind and thoughtful ask. I seriously light up every time I see your name in my alerts! Your asks are always such a joy.

Thank you so much! Love you!!!

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #send asks #kit answers #yearling

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sunshineting · 9 months

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y'all i. i love one piece so much. I love luffy so so much. ep 1071 and ch 1044 spoilers ahead

gear 5 luffy brings so much joy and delight to me and I get so happy thinking about him. like he really is joyboy. when I was reading it in the manga I was so pumped to see how it would turn out and its even better than I could have imagined. he's happy, he's free, he's silly, he's everything to me. I love love love that he's silly. sooooo many ppl were confused and even upset that he's not serious enough. dude. have y'all even watched one piece? luffy as a main character is so unserious. he's a fuckiing goofball. and I adore that about him.

he's free. he's free. he's FREE!!! Freedom is so beautiful. in a world that's so oppressive and serious and is controlled by an incredibly overpowering government, my sweet sweet boy is free to be silly. he can be as unserious and goofy as he wants to be. I can only hope to feel like that one day.

all the shonen bros are like 'this ep was way overhyped it was too goofy what was that looney toons ass ep' likeeee ugghhhhh booooo yall suck! have some fun! im throwing tomatoes at you bitches!

I have so many thoughts and this post is already long enough but whatever sorry for the rant I just love him

#my adhd brain was working overtime trying to articulate this well #sorry if its a jumbled mess #one piece spoilers

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hopeymchope · 3 months

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Caught this in my inbox after releasing another rant on nagito’s lack of development and I thought I should let you know about it what do you make of this

My first two immediate reactions to this person were:

Jeez, just let people have opinions you don't agree with on some things in your fandom. Happens all the time. Chill.

I don't exactly harp on or even talk about Komaeda much, so I'm not sure why they're singling me out in particular. (I guess just because of your previous ask regarding the TVTropes page, lol.) Or @freezethunder for that matter; I don't think they've said much about Komaeda, or at least not that I've ever seen?

I get that Komaeda has stans. He's hot, he's weird, he's a meme, etc. But I think it's a BIT reductive to write our own justifications like this. The line "someone who was manipulated into believing they'd done those terrible things of their own free will and tried to kill them to prevent them from doing so again" is basically doing work FOR the writing.

Remember: At no point does Komaeda have reason to believe whether they WILL or WON'T fall back into Remnant-y habits. If anything, the evidence is AGAINST that, because when he finds out that he used to be a Remnant of Despair, he himself rejects that in every possible way. So why does Komaeda assume that nobody else in the group would make that same decision? (Given his love of "hope," you'd think he'd ADORE the opportunity to see the group choose to be better.) And if anyone in the group could easily make that same decision as him, why must they all fucking die regardless of who they decide to be??? The result is that his actions come off as "assholeish" at best. .......... But of course, by this point in DR2 we already know that Komaeda is both mentally unstable AND prone to dangerously extreme courses of action, so it's not like his decision to just murder-suicide the entire fucking class is out of character, either. :P

I do think that line in there about him being "manipulated into believing they'd done those terrible things of their own free will" makes an interesting argument, though. Right there, this person is arguing that when it was later confirmed via DR3 that brainwashing was the primary reason for Class 77-B's psychosis, that removed the threat of the group lapsing back into Remnant-y behavior in the post-DR2 timeline. And by extension, they're ALSO seemingly arguing that if Komaeda knew the class' despairful behavior was primarily driven by the brainwashing, he might not have taken the extreme steps he did. Although I can't say that the actual text of the games or anime supports OR disproves those interpretations, I think those two interpretations add up to a decent enough way to hand-wave away the potential danger of Komaeda in the post-DR3 world. So they provide a somewhat decent argument for why his classmates could forgive, forget, and just let him be back in the squad.

(As y'all may know, I opted to lean into Danganronpa 2.5's events as my own method of justification.)

#asks #danganronpa #nagito komaeda #dr2 spoilers #dr3 spoilers

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tkblythofficial · 4 months

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same twitter newsboy anon again! you brought up so many great points, forgive me for ranting but i've been feeling insane over there.

"What does calling out J have to do with T?" is so funny because they brought up T themselves. Yes, the account that posted the tweet going "y'all pander to your faves' boyfriends just to get attention" does post zeglyth, but T wasn't mentioned at all. It's funny that he's living rent free in their heads, because why are you shooting yourself in the foot and bringing him up, knowing that its a case of hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby? When just a few hours ago the screenshots of him defending her went viral AGAIN.

Calling her “my best friend” she’s not your best friend. Oh my god you finally said it! Not saying names but the person who posts that under every single R related post was sort of surprising/cute(??) when I first saw it, but weirder the more I think about it. It's not a once in a while joke, it's every single post. And of course R picked up on it (how could she not) and she acknowledged it by joking "you're not that person" to the other people who began copying it, so now they're all going to do it more!

(Side note but that person who started this was under J's congrats post back in 2021, so they've obviously been part of this for a long time. And their most recent post is "if you are not me and you've said rachel zegler my best friend i have your address and i'm serious" which just shows that it isn't about expressing love towards R, it's about getting her attention. Some strange concept of exclusivity.)

And there was a hilarious interaction between an R+ J defender and a confused commenter. The defender said "some of you are really weird about zegvera and you're disrespecting R". The commenter went "wait who are we talking about? josh hutcherson? rivera? OH HER CURRENT BOYFRIEND?" and the defender replied all excited "YES" but then the commenter went "isn't he in trouble with everyone because he's way older than her" and the defender just stopped replying LMAO.

I don't want to end this on a bad note but this wave of drama is getting more interactions than past iterations (at least from what i've seen), so I'm legitimately considering this affecting whatever R might or might not have done for T's birthday. It will probably depend on her mood that day (whether she fought with J recently or not lmao) but I definitely feel like she might hold back/not post. I am also pissed at the thought of that.

They’re very intimidated by T / Zeglyth. And they use T’s age to justify liking R and J. The age gap between R and J isn’t the problem lol, it’s the age when they met. It doesn’t click in their brains.

The crazy part of “my best friend R” is a lot of those people hated her last year. They were apart of the hate train and now are begging for attention from her.

R being so actively online has made people think she’s actually their friend. It’s quite sad how possessive and obsessed they are to get her attention.

LOL not a confused commenter knowing what’s wrong immediately

I don’t think it will affect her Zeglyth post on his bday! If it does, I will be pissed! But I’m sure R will still post and forget about this stupid drama (hopefully). But people have been more rabid than usually. The hot tub pic changed everything lol

#my answers #zeglyth #off topic

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thiccpettybitch · 10 months

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Anon Ask:

(Anon asked to be kept anonymous as they accidentally sent this normally, don't worry bbi, we've all been there~)

Okay, first of all, thank you so much. I really appreciate you saying that! 😊

Secondly, I'm so happy someone said something because I have just realized that Miguel in Bitter Sweet is so baby girl!💕💖 He's still a bit sassy and stuff, but he is more loving, more open about emotions, and definitely younger. AND he doesn't have the trauma... yet.

While Miguel in Sweet Sorrow, ho-ho boy, you're gonna have to find out, but he is definitely more similar to the one in the movies. But y'all will find that out~ 😌✨

Rant below, possible triggers i dunno.

I'm so happy someone said something because... girl, I never kink shame and I am a STRONG believer that as long as it's fantasy and nothing nono/illegal, it's no one’s business who or what you're into! HOWEVER, I will say (as a respectful spectator🥴) the amount of people that portray and try to normalize him as this walking violent red flag... it's not cute~

As someone who has actively looked back at my younger years and my interest in both fictional and real men, and seeing the red flags BLARING me in the face, it's... *screams* it's something. Like I said, however, I do believe in free speech and having different opinions, doesn't mean I’m right, or that anyone who enjoys that kind of content is in the wrong. It's fiction, it's a kink, it's your business, it's MY business (my own kinks, of course). You do you, babes! If you enjoy it, you enjoy those succulent Miguel fics and art; it just makes me giggle and self-reflect 😂

When I tell you there was a time my dumb ass thought a man that doesn't growl and push you up against walls isn't a REAL MAN. The toxicity makes me gag, babes, makes me GAG. But we grow and we learn. That's what's important.

it's a bit of a sensitive subject for me personally. Some of that content definitely made my small dummy brain think that certain traits like that were not just a norm in most men but something I should actively seek out, which... ew, no. However, that doesn't solely tie into fiction, such as fanfictions, because BOY, let's not pretend TV and movies didn't pull the same shit if not worse sometimes, so... yeah.

(I also feel compelled, even though I'm sure you don't need to hear this if you do) Red flags in real life are not cute; they're not the vibe. Anyone who puts hands on you or emotionally, physically, or mentally abuses you is trash and needs to get in the can, no matter if they are loved ones or family. Stay safe out there, kiddos, fr!)

Anyways rant over lol~

TLDR: Kinks in fictions are hot, red flags irl are not, stay safe!💕

#miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #spider man 2099 #bitter sweet #miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel x y/n #atsv #miguel spiderman #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman across the spider verse #Sweet Sorrow #Bitter Sweet

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dollystarz · 3 months

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Ik this will probably be one of the dumbest rants but here we go ig.It's long so feel free to scroll if you want

So like I was hiking w my family n my mom like told me to tie my shoelaces right? So I did...nothing really happened until like my parents were like 'oh you didn't tie it tight enough so I like redid the thing. But then it still wasn't good enough and I had to redo it and redo it again until I got it right. The ENTIRE time they were being extremely demeaning and harsh saying crap like 'oh you're 14 and you can't even tie your shoelaces blah blah blah' so I obviously got hurt n I cried sm. Like they have a point but like they know that my fine motor skills suck sm and like it takes me a long time to grasp practical abilities.

So I went on a walk to calm myself down and then my Dad went up to me and he was like 'you have no right to be angry' and 'oh well, it's better to be scolded by me than humiliated by your friends' don't start assuming shit about my friends please. N he said that I walked fast bc I was angry??? Have you ever thought that...I wanted to be left alone?? And then like 5 minutes later, he started acting like I didn't exist n shit. When me,my sister n parents like arrived to this lake thingy, my dad asked me if I wanted to take photo's n like I said no. He assumed I was angry (I was not I just needed to process and digest everything he said to me. And by everything I meant the useful stuff not those backhanded comments. And I just didn't want to take photo's because my face was red from crying. So he went on this tangent saying that I had a bad attitude and that he'll never talk to me n shit again. This made me cry even more bc I was genuinely hurt.Like Ik it happens sm and I experienced worse. But like? I wasn't mad, I just needed to process my thoughts. I can't be happy go lucky right after you screamed at me for not doing my shoelaces right. And I thought that y'all would congratulate me for walking fast bc my pace is usually slow but I got condemened instead. So my mom told me to stop being so sensitive. N my sister who actually understands my situation cheered me up a little. So we went to get drinks n my dad was ignoring me. He still had to pay for my drink bc my mom told him to but I genuinely don't give a crap if he didn't bc I already bought my octopus card anyways. So we were returning home by car and like I was drowning out my thoughts w loud music n I went back home n cried some more!!

Alright, ty for listening to my rant but like seriously. My fine motor skills were always poor and practical skillsets take sm time for me to grasp compared to like things such as theatre/creative writing. And my parents words of belittlement don't make it any better really. I'm also neurodivergent and I'm v sensitive so telling me to 'get over it' or 'I won't talk to you ever again' won't work because I'll take it literally. Obviously, my parents DO have a point but my words hurt sm no? Like I already struggle so much with basic tasks, don't add something else to the mix by threatening to make me tie shoelaces 100x times.

I am immensely grateful towards my parents and I love them sm but I don't like it when they do things like this/srs

#giselerambles #vent post

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jonnyparable · 1 year

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Autumn on the Farm

So things have been going well for Yuto. He is actually very rich and I did not expect to earn that much from crops alone. In fact, he's so rich, I'm thinking he can just singlehandedly carry Komorebi's economy. Which I will now put into effect by getting him to give people money as a form of investing in their businesses. But of course, the Sims 4 being the 8th wonder of the gaming world that it is, has already hurt itself in its confusion. So far some issues have occurred, the coop is not producing any eggs, although I'm not sure if I'm doing anything wrong, or if its just another fabulous bug.

There's no dispute, however, that this next issue is a known bug which I've just learnt about. Basically almost all my crops reverted back into a dirt pile, like they had just been planted. I thought it's cos I did something but Googled and turns out NO, this is just another issue with the game. Below, you can see how the whole crop field just turned into a nipple museum.

I found a modder who took her own time to FIX ANOTHER ISSUE FOR FREE and it works. But you know what? I wish to live in a world where I didn't need to have to mod a game to make it function as intended. To me, a mod should be adding cool, novel or bizarre things to the game, not making it WORK. My Sims 2 game was modded to hell and back, and that's only because I was forcing the game to be something it wasn't. Namely a very niche, period specific farming game. On its own, very little about the Sims 2 bothered me enough or was broken enough that I had to mod it out. If anything, things I had to mod out were gameplay features that worked perfectly as intended, but were just annoying, not actively broken. Things like newspapers rotting, magic spells needing raegents, or Sims waking up to react to weather. I played that game for 20 or so years and would 100% still be doing so if my computer hadn't died. I would be here continuing the story of Cottage Hills, having had whole plotlines about Saqhaba, going back to Shang Tao, and searching for the other gifts of the Goddess all over the world. Instead I'm here, about 3 months into this game, and already ranting about how it's a broken product. Gardening shipped with the Sims 4 base game, and it's 100% just broken. Honestly, this game is so demoralising and its eating away at me. You can't help but look at it being cute and you think it's got some things going for it and then BAM it goes tits up bonkers as if it was coded by a bus seat. You can sometimes see the devs having fun with something, and I do want them to, but then you see all the lazy shortcuts, sloppy execution, reused animations and just the massive amount of things that have no purpose or gameplay, and it just erases any goodwill when you realise how much they're charging for the experience. The fact that basic things in the game just don't work, while they're out here selling useless shit clutter for basements and greenhouses, including a disassembled Sims 1 Livin' Large heart bed, is just such a big sweaty fuck you to the players...

Sigh sorry for the rant. I tried to stay positive but this game is doing too much y'all. At least its ~pretty~.

#the sims #ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 pictures #ts4 screenshots #okawara #return to komorebi

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sparklingpax · 1 year

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HIIIII following a recent question I got (keep lookout for another post like this answering the other one sometime in the future, y'all 😌), I'm taking this opportunity to Finally explain specifics & thoughts I have about how Landiver works as a ship in my mind, why I ship them etc. No it's not justification because I will not be Not shipping these idiots anytime soon, Landiver and Ginhawk are two of like six total ships from all my fandoms that live rent-free and undebatably permanently in my mind thanksss <3

and so yea on that note, any of yall reading this don't have to agree with everything I say!! (Pls don't tell me what you disagree with tho I'm not gonna stop you from thinking what you will and all opinions are valid esp in the realm of like, fan-interpretation of fictional characters, but I am so full of anxiety I will be afraid and scared; I am just begging, don't point out what you don't agree with just leave me beeeeee)

I also realize a lot of this is my personal interpretations of them, which may or may not be entirely accurate (tho to be fair, we only rlly did get glimpses of who the pretenders rlly are as ppl, considering how plot-heavy a series it was; I'd say Hawk got the most attention in terms of that and even he doesn't get as much expansion as I'd have liked 😭) so....there's a lot of room for said interpretation imo.

But yea anyway, I'm talking purely canon Landiver (not gonna get into my AU anytime soon because it's relatively similar to this with more focus on different details bc they have different pasts and such in that....so yea)

Without further ado, my rambles are below the cut. Apologies for any grammatical errors, I typed this on my phone on the bus going home and while laying on my bedroom floor 😭✨

Enjoy! :']

///

I think they work as a ship for a bunch of reasons (I'm only gonna mention some of my thoughts about this because I don't wanna go on for too long 😳)!!!!!

One, their personalities being somewhere in the middle of "opposites" and "the same." Like not "yin and yang" kinda thing but they're also not the same type of person either. Lander might be more confident, talkative, and quicker to get emotional/heated about things compared to an exponentially more easy-going and level guy like Diver. But Diver isn't shy or unemotional, and he is most certainly confident in himself. Both of them Give 0 fucks™ but in different ways, I guess. In that regard, I feel like they also mix very well personality-wise. Lander is more interested in doing the talking, the ranting, etc. Diver says what he needs to in shorter ways in general, prefers listening and making input here and there, chuckling while Landmine fumes about some guy at work. However he might also be slightly more wordy when talking to Lander. Conversely, Lander might be more chill and show the "softer" sides of himself with Diver, the side that loses that usual "cool, confident, smooth guy" composure for example. Fumbles up his usual fast-paced talk because he's distracted w the guy in front of him (when they're in a mostly romantic mood, that is) Lander is certainly more organized and can be a little uptight about things going as they were planned to, whereas Diver (like me lmao 😭) is kind of just perpetually confused a little bit, and just going with it. But see, it doesn't seem that way because he always has this look about him that says to the outside world that he's got this and he is not fazed. He forgets stuff a lot, spaces out, dozes off, etc. Lander's got his back with that tho ✨

Diver isn't as emotional as Lander, so he's a great touchstone for Lander to center himself when he starts to panic or flip out about something. And he only lets himself do that with Diver because he feels like he can. And, being with Lander for so long has encouraged him to express himself and be emotional in his own way more often than before they met. Slowly, over time.

They have different interests for the most part, and aren't going to pretend they want to adopt every single one of each other's interests, but they have a mutual understanding of that, and enjoy the difference in tastes. So they just let each other be. Little things like: Lander's a city person, Diver's a nature guy. Lander prefers style and flashiness, Diver just wants what works, and doesn't mind. Lander is watching like five different dramas at once when he's not working his day job or out on missions, and Diver enjoys reading more (which might be because he's out on be boat or busy doing lots of really hands-on work with aquariums and such for his day job, spending less time than his partner does in an office doing paperwork). Diver will easily take a beer over an expensive wine Lander might've found, and Lander likes finer-quality alcohol, but both would be willing to have the other thing if they're hanging out together and one really wants to have their thing that night. And, they both love a good fistfight, enjoy physical touch as a primary (Diver) or secondary (Lander; his primary is actually gift-giving) love language, drinking, and collect cassette tapes together ✨

Also quick aside, but I HC they chose human bodies that put them around mid-to-late-40s. This is interesting because for example, Hawk has a body that puts him at like 23 (yes specifically 23 don't ask 😳) in human years, and Phoenix is mid-30s. Then we have the other humans characters who are actually just their age (Ginrai is 19, etc...) However, in Cybertronian years, the Pretender team are relatively like the same age, give or take a [cybertronian] year. This is another reason they are so easily connected in a way, because both in human years and cybertronian, they're around the same age, but especially as humans, they'd be not rlly old or super young. Idk how to describe it properly but maybe you know what I mean?? 😳

They are also incredibly playful with one another--always have been. Like, lowkey harassing one another (affectionately) and constantly joking around/making witty quips back and forth in their way, with a specific type of energy no one else has. In fact, they have energies that match in a way where they are as they always have been: like old friends. No one else quite gets it. They're just....a pair. Always together, which I feel like even in the anime you see them fooling around together and perpetually side by side. (Take that one bit where Diver grabs Lander and like ruffles up his hair....i love their vibe sm 😭✨)

They never descend into a serious argument because even their constant "bickering" isnt really bickering at all and more just making comebacks at one another over something on which they disagree, until one bursts into laughter and the other follows.

[Landiver in general is a whole different vibe to say, Ginhawk, both having intimately sweet moments but in very different ways.]

They are more than willing to bring it up when they don't like something/have something to talk about, not worried even for a moment what the other will think, because it will always be the safest place to simply talk it out amongst themselves. They would be hard-pressed to trust anyone else when either have somth serious to discuss. Maybe (hard maybe) Phoenix, since he's usually hanging out with those two when he's around (which is just not that often at all, I'll get into that in the other thread haha) and is somewhat a close friends...but usually it's just Lander and Diver. However even s, they rarely ever have to because they don't really have lines to cross with each other...they do not hold back when goofing around in their definitely shared sense of humor 😭💀✨

Also, I feel like it took them an extremely long time to actually formally get together just because...like, they've always been together anyway, but didn't really know how to go about,,, relationships in the official sense--if that was even something they wanted. It was on and off and on and off again for a while, Lander and Diver trying other relationships with other people for a long time (especially in the period of time after being separated to the different parts of the country once Lander got his new job over in New York and left where he'd been with Diver, again a whole separate thing I have HCs for which I touched on in my "In Relativity" fic; on that note I wanted to mention in both my AU and in canon, I HC Lander as bi and Diver as gay ✨). But they always found it didn't really....connect. over and over, both of them coming back together but not really being sure what it even was they had...and then something happens where it just clicks, and they realize, that...there isn't really anything else they should do. They do belong beside one another. They can be true only with each other, because when they are together, they are "home." As friends in a deeper, more intimate sense of that. Partners....lovers. But always friends, because they both think the whole relationship labels thing puts a wrench in the vibes. It's just very complicated to explain for them, but there's never been any kind of malice or struggle between them other than coming to the final conclusion how the answer has always been in front of them. They've known each other for centuries in our human terms, and they know they've been together forever in a sense, but sometimes it feels like they've known each other even longer.

(When they finally, formally got together, Ginrai and Phoenix just nodded to one another, like they've been waiting for this for ages, and Phoenix playfully punches Diver, who just starts laughing. Hawk, the other godmasters and the kids, are all just happy for the two)

(⁠◍^w^◍⁠) 💗✨

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unhingedselfships · 11 months

Text

They finally do it y'all! Its not that great!

CW : sexual Content (non explicit/fade to black), Kadokura's weird taste

He was… tense. To put it lightly.

He’d just witnessed the hit of a lifetime, and he was-

He was keyed up and jittery and just-

Fuck it was amazing.

His abdomen tightened, he throbbed, and he clenched his hands.

Wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, he was visibly agitated as he made his way back to the apartment.

The door bounced as he threw it open, and the form taking up space on his couch jolted.

“Kenshi?” she blinked wide eyed, concerned.

He stood stock still, before sneering at her and storming into the room.

He was twitchy, and needy, and something about her being there just pissed him off.

“What are you doing here?” his patience was too thin for niceties.

She furrowed her brow, frown soft, “I was looking for you, I figured you’d be back, so I waited.”

“Great, lovely, you found me. Get out.”

She jolted again, something hurt passing through her gaze, “What?”

“You heard me. Go.”

Cautiously crossing the room, she moved to stand in the path he’d been pacing.

He was trying to calm down, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He groaned deep in his throat at the memory.

The caliber. The subtlety. The precision-

“Kenshi, what’s wrong?”

He jittered in place, debating moving her, choking back a sardonic laugh, “I’m so hard it hurts and I hate waiting it out. And you’re here taking up time I could be using to figure out an alternative.”

She leaned back slightly, as she sucked in a sharp breath. Releasing it slowly, she seemed to hesitate before fortifying herself.

“Ok.”

It was his turn to jolt and he looked at her, wide eyed glare, his voice sharp “Ok?”

Didn’t she know she was disrupting his moment?

The echo of the shot still rang in his ears, played over and over in his mind.

He could almost see the way the assassin’s hands would have stroked the gun, the care with which it was loaded.

He had seen the way the target's head had popped.

There, and then suddenly, red mist.

It was heady and overwhelming.

What about this was ok damnit!?

Why wouldn’t she just leave.

Before he could continue with a rant she carefully cupped his face, and before he could shove her away-

“Let me help you.”

He froze, eyes locked on hers. Before sneering again.

“No.”

He started to push her away, her hands slipping free.

“What do you think you could possibly do for me? And what about your beloved husband, hmm?” he dripped in disdain, “What would he think?”

“We’ve talked about this. After… What happened… then.”

He froze, hands still on her shoulders, mid shove.

“You what.”

“We talked. Of course we did. We have an… agreement?” she sounded uncertain, her brow furrowed, “I don’t know how to explain it. But it's ok. The circumstances are different but the rules still apply.”

He stared her down, watching the way she shifted from careful uncertainty to that note of indignation he was used to getting when he got pissy with her.

“And anyway, I’m here aren’t I?” she scoffed, matching his biting energy, “What can I do?” she was half mocking him, before returning his sneer, “I’m a willing body with more than one warm hole. Take what you need and calm the fuck down.”

He blinked at her, thrown a bit off kilter. Sure she had a dirty sense of humor. No filter at all, and didn’t balk when discussing “impolite” topics. But this was far more crass and direct than he was used to her being. He must have really pissed her off.

Everything between them had been. Not quite the same. Oh they tried. But the dynamic was different. Changed.

There was an undercurrent of tension, that they couldn’t escape. Of the dynamic they’d uncovered. Of what they were capable of being.

They couldn't unknow it.

He wanted it the way it used to be. He feared it would never come back.

He threw off the thought in favor of more pressing concerns.

Well.

If this was how she wanted to play.

It would certainly be easier than trying to handle it on his own, especially with the way it just kept looping, wonderfully, frustratingly, incessantly blissful through his mind.

His grip tightened on her shoulders, a warning, before he spun her around.

Pushing her carefully back towards the couch, his presence was hot behind her.

He shoved the coffee table aside harshly with a foot.

The air, the energy, had grown heady. Agitated.

Angry.

Aggressive.

Needy.

Her knees hit the cushion and he absently noted how convenient it was that she’d worn one of those breezy little sundresses she loved.

It had taken her so long to gain the confidence to wear them.

He pressed a palm between her shoulder blades and pushed, her arms coming up to brace against the back of the couch.

Using his free hand to shove up her skirt, the other fighting with his belt buckle, he leaned over her, chest pressing into her back, and mouth near her ear.

“This isn’t about you.”

She wouldn’t be “getting hers”. This wasn’t about some base desire for a person. Certainly not about her. He wouldn’t let her think that.

Snorting a laugh, she turned as best she could in his hold, a hand grasping his hair to pull him back slightly, before planting a damp kiss to his cheek. She pulled away and shot him a sardonic grin.

“It never is, Kenshi.”

He ignored the light in her eyes as she turned away from him, relaxing into a passably comfortable position.

Hate, anger, resentment, hell straight arousal, all things he could, would, have accepted, but not love acceptance patience care whatever that was.

He freed himself of his belt and zipper and leaned in to take what he needed.

The sooner this was dealt with, the better.

—----

She slipped quietly from the bathroom, slightly unsteady on her feet.

She was still reeling and it made her head woozy.

There was a lot to process.

Emotionally anyway. The physical was. Fine, she supposed. Quick.

The whole production had taken maybe ten minutes.

Half of that was clean up.

He was awkward. Not quite hesitant, but not at all confident.

He got a little snappish as she directed him, but once she got him where he needed to be, he handled himself passably well.

Selfishly, unconcerned with her at all, but she expected as much.

It wasn't exactly enjoyable, but. Well a few moment’s had been she supposed.

Then again, she was self-admittedly easy to please.

Either way.

It was sex. Not terrible. Not great. Just was.

Maybe she’d be more charitable if she’d actually finished. Close didn’t cut it.

Then again, her standards were very high. She'd been spoiled.

And if she was being fair, her pool of reference was pretty small. Her husband, Phe, one ex, and now Kenshi.

Performance aside, she was glad it had happened regardless, she supposed. Or maybe just relieved. It was done. Over.

She hoped it helped. The tension would break.

There was a melancholy, and guilt. She’d never meant for them to cross this line together. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

North Dakota had changed so much.

She wanted her life back. Their life.

She hated the pest for causing this.

A bitter, dark, snarling part of her, one she kept as buried as she could, wondered if it was where she'd left it. If she could go back. Drag it out this time. Make him pay.

She shook the thoughts loose, tugged free their claws, and shoved them back in the depths where they belonged.

She passed out of the hall, and into the open space.

Kadokura was sitting on the couch, and she didn’t let herself think about what had happened.

He was slouched forward, elbows on knees.

Somehow he didn’t seem any less tense.

Different tense.

But still tense.

He took a deep drag, and flicked the ash into the crystal ashtray.

Stepping closer she reached out a hand.

“May I?”

He raised a brow at her, blew the smoke in her direction, and passed her the cigarette.

She absently noted it was one of the ones from her family. Whether gifted or ordered she couldn’t say. He tended to buy as many as he was given.

She eyed it for a moment before taking a drag of her own.

He snatched it from her hand as she folded in half, she choked and gasped, great heaving coughs.

So her normal reaction.

It was pure luck she caught the ghost of a smile cross his lips before disappearing again.

“Idiot.”

“I keep thinking it’ll be different,” she managed between wheezes.

Stumbling around the resituated table, she flopped onto the couch next to him.

She caught her breath, and quieted.

The room was still again.

She flopped back, head lolling against the back of the couch carelessly.

“Are we ok?”

He was silent.

She fought the urge to fidget in the stillness.

“Will we be?”

She knew she was annoying him but she was so. Lost. Scared.

He huffed, annoyed.

“Just shut up.”

He absently shoved her, so she flopped to the side.

She worried at her lip, debating speaking again, the tell-tale sting in the back of her eyes.

She fought it back.

The silence ached.

He broke it.

“Doesn’t Kichi-chan have a game soon?”

An olive branch.

She hummed lightly, “Yeah. Next Tuesday.”

He nodded absently, taking another drag.

“I’ll be there.”

She stilled, forgetting to even breathe, before relaxing, Relieved.

It wasn’t perfect. But it was a start. It was something.

“He’ll be glad to see you. We all will.”

He waved her off.

“Go home, Kimberly.”

She blinked up at him, weary and wary in equal measure.

He finally looked at her.

“Your family is waiting for you.”

She hesitated, half whispered, “You are family.”

He smiled faintly at her. Something bitter and fragile.

He turned away.

“I’ll be there,” he repeated.

“Dinner too?”

He huffed, settling into a distant echo of that amused annoyance he was used to her causing, and rolled his eyes.

“Dinner too.”

#yakkimi #Kadokura-verse 2.0 #majimemegoro

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akingdomofswordsandstories · 3 years

Text

Unrequited pt. 2

azriel (acotar) x reader

*this is part 2! Sorry for the wait guys! I really struggled with this and low-key I don’t like it but I hope y'all do! I wanna write the scenes after this but idk how im gonna make it work lol. anyway, enjoy!

word count: 3193

---------------------------------

What you hadn’t realized was that Azriel left a few minutes later, walking to your apartment to make sure you had gotten home safe.

All of a sudden he heard whimpers and labored breathing coming from the alley.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of you laying on the ground and bleeding out. He felt a tug in his chest. A click. Panic instilled in him as he gently but swiftly picked you up and flew you to Madja.

“Hang on y/n, you’re so strong” he whispered

In those moments, he feared for you. Fear that was so strong. Something he had never felt before.

He rushed into the house laying you on the bed gently before he was shoved out by the Madja so she could try to save you.

Azriel alerted the others and then collapsed into a chair, sitting in silence. A tear slipped out of his eye at the thought he may have been too late to save you.

You. His mate.

Why, of all the times did the bond have to click while you were on the brink of death. In a situation where you may not make it out alive. It wasn’t fair.

He wondered if you had known. Could that be the reason why you had been distancing yourself from him? Because you didn’t expect or want him to be your mate? But if you had known you would’ve said something, right? You wouldn’t keep it a secret? So many thoughts kept racing through his head.

Could it have been because of Elain? He knew the inner circle wasn’t stupid, they all saw him drifting more and more to Elain. Could that have been why you had distanced yourself? He would be lying if he said he didn’t like Elain, but he would also be lying if he said he didn’t like you.

Your stubbornness. Your generosity. Your sense of adventure. The way you could get lost in the things you did.

Suddenly the door swung open and the others came into the room, worry written all over their faces.

Azriel could tell that Cassian and Mor had been crying on the way there.

“How bad is it?” Mor shook as she spoke. You could see the pain in her eyes. The worry she had for someone who was basically her sister.

Azriel’s expression was unreadable and he didn’t respond.

“Do you think she will make it?” Feyre asked, grief evident in her posture. “I- I don’t know” Azriel answered, “It was pretty bad,” he said quietly.

Just as he answered, Madja appeared from the other room. “She’s in rough shape, I don’t know if she’s gonna make it through the night. She lost a lot of blood.”

The room grew eerily quiet

“She’s stable for now, but I will stay here and notify you if any changes occur.”

---------------------------------

Rhys, Feyre, Amren, and Elain went back to the townhouse to try and get as much rest as they could. Mor, Cassian, and Azriel decided to stay in your room with you.

Tears started slipping from Cassian’s eyes once he saw your fraile body lying in bed, barely hanging on.

“Oh mother” Mor sobbed out, a hand slipping over her mouth. She went over to the bed you were on, gently sitting on it and grabbing to hold your hand. She leaned against the headboard and watched as your chest heaved.

The trio sat in silence for some time, watching your every move, your breathes, whimpers, and shifts.

Azriel broke the silence.

“She’s my mate. All this time and I never knew.”, the sentence coming out as a whisper.

Shock was painted on Mor’s face. “Y/n’s your mate? How di-? When?”

“It clicked when I saw her body lying there.” his voice started breaking “Why did it have to happen right now. Of all the times. Why couldn’t it have happened months ago. I could’ve had more time. This never would have happened. How do I move on from this?” his voice ending on a whisper.

“All you can do is hope to mother that she has the strength to pull through.” Cassian replied softly. “You know, this whole situation is so ironic.”, he said softly to himself, lightly shaking his head.

Azriel gave Cassian a look of confusion, wondering what he was talking about, but decided to drop it for now.

“Anyway, let’s try to get some sleep and pray the morning holds better news”

Mor had dozed off, back against the headboard and hand still holding yours. Cassian was sitting in the chair, head resting on the palm of his head, it still took him a few hours to fall asleep completely. Azriel, however, couldn’t sleep. The thought of sleeping while you laid like this. He felt guilty, the feeling that he may have been too late. For the rest of the night, Azriel sat in a chair next to your bed, shrouded in darkness, hoping you would be ok.

---------------------------------

Sunlight peeked through the sheer blinds over the balcony door. The faint sound of birds singing flowed through the air. Light shined onto your face, causing you to groan. Groggily, you opened your eyes, blinking to adjust to the light filling the room. Your head pounded and you winced as you shifted in bed.

“Y/n?” you heard a whisper. You mumbled in response. “Oh! Thank mother you’re alright! We were all so worried for you. Wait, let me call Madja now that you’re up.” Mor rambled on causing you to smile slightly. “CASSIAN!” she squealed “Wake up! Look! Y/n is awake!”

Cassian jumped to his feet at her shout. “Oh my god!” he ran over to your side “I was so worried, I’m so glad you’re alright” he said, taking your hand into his. “Let me go call the others, they’ve been waiting for an update.”

Soon after, the rest of the inner circle came over to your room to check in and Madja came to see how you were healing.

“That was quite the wound you had. Make sure to rest for the next two weeks. No buts, we don’t want this opening back up from stress or straining activity.”. You groaned at the thought.

“But I feel fine now, it’s not a big deal! I can go back to doing my duties in 2 days. I’ll be good as new.” you pleaded, trying to convince Madja and yourself. Before she could respond, Rhys cut in.

“You will do nothing of the sort. You just got stabbed for cauldrons sake, if i catch you trying to do anything remotely straining, i’ll lock you in your room and have Cassian stand guard in front of it”

“Fine” you grumbled out

“Now that everything is settled, i’ll be coming to check on you every few days.” Madja states before leaving

After a little more small talk was exchanged, the inner circle decided to leave you to rest a bit more, but promised they would visit you as frequently as they could.

Except, one person stayed behind.

Azriel.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Is something wrong?” you asked

After a hesitant pause his voice rang out. “We’re mates.”

You felt a blow to your chest. When did he find this out? As if Azriel had read your thoughts, he responded “Last night. After I found you.”

“Oh”

“But, Cassian said something, how it was ironic, and I can’t help but wonder how long you’ve known”

“I-, I told Cassian that we were mates yester-”

“But how long have you known y/n.” his voice quiet and sharp as a knife, as if tendrils of anger were waiting to escape

“Since the diplomatic mission Rhys sent us on”, you whispered. You could feel the tears threatening to fall from your eyes

“That was months ago and you didn’t think to tell me?” You could feel the anger in his voice

“I thought you would have figured it out sooner. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry” tears started falling from your eyes

“You knew and said nothing. Why didn’t you say anything? You should have said something” he seethed. His anger was unhinged, a drastic change for the usually calm and collected shadowsinger.

“If you didn’t want to be my mate just tell me. I’d be glad to be rid of the bond.”. As soon as he said it, he regretted it. His anger dissipated. He looked up and saw your face, tears streaming down.

“I see the way you look at Elain, Azriel. I’m not some stupid fucking female. How do you think it feels to see your mate all over someone else. I wanted to give you a chance to find your own happiness without me burdening you with this. And if we’re being honest, if you had to choose between me or her, you would choose her. I knew you would be disappointed by me. I knew you wouldn’t want to be my mate, that's why I didn’t tell you.” your anger started boiling up. “Do you think it feels good to be rejected, especially by someone you’ve loved for a long time? I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I was your mate, the person you’ve waited so long for.” your voice tapered off at the end. “Can you leave please” you said softly

“No, wait, I’m sorry I-“

“Azriel. Get out.” your voice boomed through the room.

He left reluctantly, softly shutting the door behind him. Just as the door shut, the sobs that you had been desperately trying to hold back broke free. Your body shuddered as you hugged yourself, crying yourself back to sleep.

---------------------------------

During the following weeks, you avoided Azriel at all costs. As soon as he walked into the room, you would walk out. Any required conversations were kept short. You did anything you could to keep your mind off of him, cleaning, errands, hell you did it all. It certainly didn’t help your recovery, but you did what you could to keep your mind busy and off of Azriel.

“Y/n stop please. You need to rest, how many times do we have to tell you. You’re only making the healing process longer” Mor ranted on.

“I’m fine, I doubt a wound, which is almost healed by the way, would be damaged by me doing chores” you emphasized as you rolled your eyes

“Maybe not by chores, but it is affected by your stress”

A moment of silence passed.

“He feels terrible, you know, he didn’t mean to say it. He just wants to talk to you.”. Mor didn’t risk saying his name because she knew it would only anger you more.

“Well I don’t want to talk to him, or deal with him, or see him, or think about him. At all.”. You grumbled. Your heart clenched, but you brushed it aside.

“Y/n, please. I love you two and it hurts to see our family like this right now.”

“Please, can we drop it, I-“ your voice cracked

“Yeah, of course. Just… keep an open mind, maybe?”

“Yeah, ok” you looked down.

“I’ll see you later tonight then, for Rhys and Feyre’s dinner party.”

“Sounds good.”. You pressed your lips into a tight smile as you watched Mor walk off. You had definitely contemplated not going today. All of the inner circle certainly knew what happened, maybe not all the details, but still enough, which made you feel exposed. You weren’t use to having your emotions splayed out to everyone like that, and it made you too vulnerable. However, Mor had threatened to pull you to the party herself if you refused to go, so being complicit seemed like the best option.

It was just one night. You would be fine… right?

---------------------------------

It was nearing 8 as you finished getting ready for the party, which started at 8:30. You were wearing an olive green silk midi dress. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but it was still very elegant. And comfortable. You were touching up as Mor arrived.

“Ah, there she is, beautiful as ever.”

“I could say the same about you, darling” you emphasized

“Are you ready to go, I heard the party is getting started, and you know I wouldn’t want to miss all the cocktails”

A laugh mused on your face. You grabbed your purse before the pair of you winnowed to the house.

You arrived at the front door, scanning the scene when you got there. It was a cozy ballroom with french doors which opened up to a huge balcony leading to the gardens. There was a huge dining table in the center with plenty of space to mingle in clusters.

You hadn’t spotted Azriel yet, a sigh of relief leaving your body. You strutted in, arms linked with Mor, grabbing a drink off the platter. You weren’t even sure who or what this party was for, but you realized you had downplayed it after spotting Helion and Tarquin. The high lords in Velaris. But that was the least of your concerns, the only thing you were focused on was avoiding Azriel.

Spotting Feyre near Helion, you breezed over to say hi.

“Ah! Y/n! Helion, i’m sure the two of you have met a few times before!” Feyre smiled out

“Yes, I do remember you! I heard about what happened, how are you feeling?” He asked

“Much better than the last few weeks, that’s for sure. Although I must say, this alcohol is certainly helping” you giggled. “Well I just wanted to pop over and say hi, but I think I’m gonna go find Cassian now. It was so nice to see you again Lord Helion, enjoy your evening.”

“You too Miss Y/L/N”

You dipped your head towards the both of them before making your way through the room to find Cassian. Where was he for caldrons sake. You hadn’t seen him in a week because he had to go up to the illyrian war camps again. Pushing your way through the crowd, you bumped into a hard chest, spilling your champagne. Cursing to yourself, you started to apologize.

“Oh mother, I’m so so sorry, clums-“. Looking up your y/e/c eyes met strong hazel ones, which were burning into your soul. You felt your throat close up, starting to feel trapped in the crowed room

No no no no. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.

You knew it was only a matter of time before you would have to talk to him, but you couldn’t do it now. Before he could say a word, you pushed past him and bolted out to the balcony to get some fresh air. You had run to the corner, near the steps to the garden, out of sight from others. Taking deep breaths, you calmed your nerves. You would be ok, everything was fine. It would be fine. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

You decided to quickly go grab another drink before returning to the serenity outside. Leaning against the balcony, you stared out at the stars and the gardens. They were so beautiful, even in the winter, you thought to yourself. You basked in the silence, your thoughts drowning you.

Some time had passed before you heard footsteps approaching you on the balcony. You knew who it was without having to turn around, but you still couldn’t bear to be around him. You turned to leave but his hand caught your wrist, holding it firmly. You could feel the scars from his hands against your skin.

“Please. I just want to talk”

“What’s there to talk about Azriel, you made your feelings clear that day.”

“Just listen, please, and then i’ll leave you alone if that’s what you wish”

You sighed, nodding your head in defeat. You couldn’t keep balling up your emotions.

He led you back to the railing of the balcony before his grasp left your wrist. You tilted your head down looking at your feet and fiddling with your thumb.

“I spent 500 years pining after Mor because I was so afraid of maybe having a chance at love. I thought it was best to love someone who would never love me back so I wouldn’t get hurt. Then I met Elain. She helped me to open up more, and helped me to believe that happiness would be possible for me, with someone. I had given up on the idea of having a mate. I didn’t think I deserved one. I was ok with that and had accepted that.”

He let out a breath as he ran his hand through his hair, light curls falling onto his forehead. “When I saw you lying there and the bond clicked, I was so mad at myself. I shut out the possibility of having a mate for so long. You were my mate. My mate. I never thought I would be able to say those words.”

He paused.

“I was mad that you may not make it. I was mad that I didn’t find you soon enough. I was mad that we didn’t have more time. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I Just wanted you to be ok. And then when you told me that you had known for so long, I was angry. Angry that I hadn’t realized sooner, and angry that you kept it from me because you may not have wanted me or expected me to be your mate. And I snapped. Then you said the thing that I had least expected. You said you had loved me” He chuckled dryly. “I am so sorry, y/n, so very sorry.”.

His hand reached down to cup your face. He jerked your head up so you were looking at him. “What i’m trying to say is that I love you, but I understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore”.

The air had been knocked from your lungs. Your heart swelled and your eyes watered. Before you had realized what you were doing, your lips crashed into his. His mouth fit perfectly against yours. He was a breath of fresh air with a hint of mint. Azriel’s hands gripped your waist, pulling you into his body and he smiled against your lips. It felt so right. Everything about it. Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you both pulled away, breathless. Your forehead rested against his.

You whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

“I love you too”. As soon as the words left your mouth, he pulled you in for another kiss, his wings forming a cocoon around you. This one was more demanding. Passionate. A promise. You pulled away from his mouth and leaned against him, his arms wrapping around you.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Azriel said. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small black box. “It’s your Solstice gift, I was trying to find a good time to give it to you.”, he scratched the back of his head.

You gently took it from his hand. The box had a red ribbon wrapped around. Undoing the ribbon, You opened the box to find one of the beautiful necklaces you had been admiring with Mor. “Oh my Az. Its so beautiful. I love it. How did you know?”

“I may have had my shadows follow everyone around to find out what they wanted.” he laughed out.

You smiled. “Will you help me put it on?”. Handing the dainty chain to Azriel, you brushed you hair aside. Baring your neck to him. His fingers ghosted the soft skin, clasping the necklace together. He tenderly placed a kiss next to your ear, causing butterflies to erupt.

You cleared your throat. “I think we’ve been gone long enough. Would you like to get some food, Azriel?” you smiled.

“I would love to, my darling mate.” he paused before darkly saying “I am especially excited for the part that comes after I eat.”. You lightly smacked his shoulder before the two of you made your way inside, beaming.

taglist ---

@minnie-mitzel @itsbebeyyy @preciousbabymuffins @kexrtiz @vicisbookishblog @peneflop @millianec @agentsofsheilds

#azriel x reader #azriel #acotar x reader #acotar #azriel acotar x reader #cassian #rhysand

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localcactushugger · 3 years

Text

Honestly the thing that really pisses me off, the thing that really hurts the most, about the Hawks vs. Twice conflict is the fact that they had so much potential.

I know on my blog I post mostly about Hawks and bnha leaks, but Twice was by far my favorite Villian and I loved seeing him every time he showed up. I love and understand both Hawks and Twice.

And Horikoshi fucking robbed us.

He robbed us of potentially the most hilarious and pure bromance in all of Bnha history.

All because of the fucking plot.

Think of the beautiful dynamic these two already had! They were only together for what? 2, maybe 3 months at most? And during that time they both learned to sympathize with each other. They even laughed at each other's jokes!!

They actually cared about each other even though their goals and morals didn't exactly aligne.

Both of them saw each other as "good/ kind hearted people" who were deserving of sympathy:

"You're a swell guy!" "Right back at ya."

"You're a good person."

"Anyone who wants to help their friends can't be all that bad." "I know you're good natured." "Let's fly free together!"

"I empathize with their cause." "I wanna fly free"

LOOK AT THEM JOKING AND LAUGHING TOGETHER!!!

LOOK AT THE FINGER GUNS!!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WE WERE ROBBED OF THIS:

I'm still so fucking salty about it. It's genuinely upsetting to me.

What's sad is that both of them genuinely cared and wanted to help each other. They just couldn't because their goals were so different.

Twice wanted to help his friends and "protect their happiness" more than anything, and that's why he was fine with helping them destroy/take over Japan. Because nothing matters more than the league's happiness. He'd burn down the world and "sell his soul" to make the Leauge happy! They were his friends. His family. They were his everything!

And Hawks' goal revolved around keeping the people of Japan safe. It revolved around making sure the Leauge didn't hurt anyone because "If you had just captured the Leauge when you had the chance . . ! Think of how many citizens might be alive today!" It revolved around making sure that "everyone would be able to laugh by the time the next cherry blossoms fall."

Both of them were kind hearted genuinely good people. The only difference is that they fought to protect different things.

But that doesn't mean they didn't care about each other or didn't reach out. Both of them reached out!

Twice reaching out: "I know we're being monitored right now, but I wish they'd stop spying on you! I get how you feel."

Hawks reaching out: "You've been unlucky, but you can make a fresh start once you pay for your crimes. I'll even help you start over! Because you're a good person."

Twice didn't know why a hero would sympathize with the liberation army. But a person who wanted to help his friends couldn't be that bad right?

Hawks knew how powerful Twice was and all the horrible things the Liberation army was planning for Japan. But Twice was good natured and kind right?

Both of them made efforts to understand each other. But neither of them could let go of their goals or the things they wanted to protect.

Twice remained loyal to the Leauge. To protect his friends happiness.

Hawks remained loyal to his mission. To protect the people of Japan.

Both characters were sympathetic towards each other, but at the same time they were both fiercely determined to do what they thought was right in the moment. It makes perfect sense story and character wise . . .

BUT THINK OF THE BROMANCE WE LOST!!

I'm still so upset about it!! I was so happy when Twice and Hawks started to warm up to each other, even though I knew it wouldn't turn out well.

Can you imagine these two doing finger guns? Laughing at each other's jokes?? Eating Yakitori together and making up secret handshakes???

They had such a pure, funny, bittersweet dynamic that pulled at my heart strings and made me laugh at the same time.

Honestly I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to rant about the two of them for a bit because I love them both. And I just know if they weren't on the opposite sides of a war they would've been the bestest bros in the world.

Y'all can have whatever opinions you want about Hawks and Twice. But this is a post meant to appreciate their short-lived friendship and amazing dynamic. It's meant to appreciate and show love for both of their characters.

So please keep any bitter comments away from this post. I know everyone has different opinions about these two, but I've heard the debates a million times. Any disrespectful or mean notes will be deleted swiftly.

Just keep the vibes of this post nice okay? Why can we never have nice things in this fandom?

The whole Hero stan vs. Villain stan thing honestly ruins it for me, and I've quickly learned that It destroys all room for understanding and only creates division.

So whatever 12 yr old created the toxic Hero vs. Villain stan dynamic in this fandom, I hope you step on a Lego. Because I'm sure that dynamic has ruined a lot of characters for some people.

If you're someone who can't like a character just because they're a "villain" or a "hero", I'm genuinely sorry for you and I hope you know it's not your fault. This fandom likes to make the whole Hero vs. Villain thing a competition sometimes, and all the extremely biased metas don't always leave room for debate. Sometimes it can even make you feel like you have to pick a side. And it can make it hard for people to enjoy some character's as well.

People will try to demonize Twice.

People will try to demonize Hawks.

Obviously you can love whatever characters you want regardless of their roles in the story, but It's sad how that kind of division in a fandom leaves little room for understanding. And it's sad how quickly a fandom can ruin a character for some people as well. (I've had characters almost be ruined for me too. It sucks.)

Obviously, as a human being I also have my opinions, biases, and favorite characters. And having those isn't a bad thing! Just so long as you're respectful about it. And I'm saying this as someone who has, admittedly, partaken in the Hero vs. Villain stan dynamic once or twice myself. Even though I personally think that dynamic is dumb. I've also had moments where I've lost patience over "bad takes" I didn't like as well. I'm not perfect. No one is, and you can disagree with me all you like if you want. It's chill dude. 👌👌👌

But I would like to keep this post conflict free. In my opinion, Twice and Hawks are both genuinely good people. This is not something I will ever budge on. And i want to enjoy both of their beautiful characters just this once. I love and understand them both your honor. ✋😔

#seriously. good vibes only #be nice to each other in the comments (or notes? whatever. you get it)#anyways i love Hawks and Twice #i have no doubt they would send each other shitposts at 3am with no context #the two of them would have competition's to see who could fit the most food in their mouth #they would be the most destructively playful dynamic duo #think of the shenanigans!#Horikoshi didn't put them together because they were too powerful #he's a coward 😤#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #hawks #bnha spoilers #keigo takami #takami keigo #bnha hawks #mha hawks #twice bnha #bnha twice #bubaigawara jin #jin bubaigawara #mha spoiler #bnha meta #hawks meta #I'm debating putting this is the Twice tag #whatever I'm putting it #mha twice #the point of the post is i wish they could've stayed friends. This was in my drafts and I'm posting it before I loose courage

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