#wow this mood is killing me

[sissylittlefeather]

I can't seem to shake this mood.

Have another poem.

(Also apparently I'm obsessed with Unchained Melody today. Sorry bout me.)

To the Sea

I am an ocean full of raindrops

Each one a little piece of you.

I am dust particles floating in moonlight

And you are the sun.

You make me beautiful

Reflected across time and space.

I am the whispering wind

You hear me in the trees.

Can you feel me too?

What I wouldn't give for hands

Like yours

Running up and down the frets of my body

Making music out of me

And always, always knowing

That I love you

Like a river.

Wait for me.

#elvis presley #elvis #elvis poem #elvis poetry #wow this mood is killing me #unchained melody #I'm sorry

[cosmererambles]

Pirate Kelsier AU brewing in my brain. I already have a project, but I desperately want him as a pirate.

Dashing scoundrel raids yet another East India ship! 

#Kell #Pirate Kelsier is such a mood #tellin me he wouldn't have an eyepatch? #He meets Mare on a ship he raids #she almost kills him #he's intriqued #wow such a wonderful woman #I like when broads almost kill me

[last-shadow-puppet]

i did some research and it turns out i became a milex shipper in 2013, which was 3 years before eycte. and here i am 10 years later, boo boo the fool waiting for the miracle to happen again

#im in very sad milex mood today #ive listened to coupe de grace one too many times #and my heart is bleeding #poor miles being so openly heartbroken #while alex hides behind his metaphors #being so so sad as well #at least they were interacting and playing together back then #now this quietness is killing me #i will never stop waiting for tlsp3 tho #bc wow eycte was worth waiting for

[musical-chick-13]

Always funny to me when people say, "Why was the Doctor ever interested in River in any way when she's Not A Good Person," as if a) their oldest and closest friend in the universe isn't The Master, someone very much not known for being a particularly good person, and b) there wasn't literally a line that went, "And unlike me, [River] really doesn't mind shooting people. I shouldn't like that; kind of do a bit."

#sorry you've never experienced the joy of watching an older lady give zero fucks while also being terrifyingly capable of killing you <3 #I AM very much a Twelve Girl™ but honestly eleven is probably the most relatable doctor for this alone #(though there is the moment in the christmas special where river is threatening him with death via organ extraction in alphabetical #order and he just goes 'which alphabet' with THE biggest smile on his face which wow what a mood lmao) #anyway tldr they're in love and I love them and for the purposes of blacklisting: #mel screams about The Weird Little Space Show again #there was also 'I love a bad girl me' like that literally was also a thing he canonically said #(obviously this is an outgrowth of staying chained to the previous era & The Ship™ from it as well as continual over-romanticization of 10) #(but I don't think I have the energy to specifically break that down today) #(and that's not really the point of this post anyway) #like. GOD. again: the things people will do to erase how important any woman who isn't a certain threshold of conventionally palatable #is to the narrative/other characters #like...he did. he did keep referring to her as. his wife. he specifically said 'yeah I'm dead to the world but I'm going to keep visiting #her in prison!' DON'T TEST ME ON DR/RIVER LORE I MADE THEM MY WHOLE PERSONALITY FOR LIKE 5 YEARS DURING ONE OF #THE MOST FORMATIVE AND TURBULENT PERIODS OF MY LIFE. IKNOWMORETHANYOU.JPEG

[himbybimbybimbo]

I’m sick and tired of Korean webtoons (especially ones marketed for women which is a huge can of worms) not getting the praise they deserve for elevating the webcomic medium out of the fucking water for the amount of insane detail, incredible use of lighting to set tone and mood and Renaissance-esque composition they put into the digital medium

Manhwa artists really utilize the potential of digital comics like no one else fucking does and I’m sick and tired of pretending it’s like. Not an incredible achievement of creativity seen at such a huge and accessible scale before. Like artists are making cinematic, feature quality art that would take 10+ hours to do and they’re doing that for just like. One panel in a 50 page chapter of a 70 chapter series, inevitably to just be scrolled away in one second rather than just be APPRECIATED for what it is

Like these artists are utilizing everything in their arsenal of full colour, photo bashing, 3D assets and every repeatable texture and filter imaginable to effectively paint a scene in a time efficient manner that can only be replicated in this kind of medium compared to something like manga or traditional comics (which are respectable art forms of themselves and I’m not hating on them but they have constraints like everything else)

I just feel like digital art is amazing because of the short cuts you can take to achieve a piece in a quicker way and these artists are SMART and use everything in their arsenal and it’s so fucking admirable and inspiring to see

AND the creative ways they use comic composition for infinite scrolling?? It’s a completely different cinematic language to books that is so new and ever evolving and these artists are literally making a new language of how we consume media digitally through our phones and that should be fucking dissected and torn apart

and also the fact that all these incredible Korean artists (or fucking studios?? Because how the hell would one person be able to do such rich and detailed art) are so unknown and inaccessible to learn anything from them boggles my goddamn mind these people should be fucking rockstars but most just go by aliases when I want to know THEIR NAMES like I don’t give a fuck if it’s a collective of artists they should have a huge fuckin credit page at the end of every chapter so I can get on my fuckinf feet and cheer for them

And the fact that it’s a well known thing of these artists not being paid well makes me so fucking mad I would buy their art books and physical copies in a goddamn HEARTBEAT

Anyways everyone should read Secret Lady by BANANA and Fantasie of a Stepmother by OKRA or die

#webtoons kind of have this amateur DIY vibe to them but Korean manhwa artists fucking brings the medium to such an insane level #LIKE?? IS ANYONE SEEING THIS DOES ANYONE CARE HELLO??? #It’s so fucking incredible to makes me wanna throw up #like wow I’m gonna fucking kill myself!!! #someone fucking DID THAT HUH #I literally could stare at their art for hours to just. TRY AND UNDERSTAND HOW THEY USE LIGHT ANS COLOUR TO SET A SCENE AND MOOD #I’m seriously considering just. making a fucking PowerPoint so I can scream at my friends #DID I ALSO MENTION THEYRE INCREDIBLY WELL WRITTEN STORIES TOO #I also want to just be angry for the fact that because it’s for a female audience there will never be the same kind of recognition #and it makes me fucking mad!!! #anyways mini rant over it’s 1:30AM

[cluster-b-culture-is]

NPD that’s comorbid with anxiety is having delusions that you’re being watched and followed by a stalker just because someone sat down next to you in a somewhat full space. But because they sat next to you instead of any of the empty seats then CLEARLY that means you’re special, and they either adore you to the point of obsession, or know Something BadTM about you and want to kill you.

Either way, you’re special, so there!

#cluster b culture is #npd culture is #npd + anxiety culture is #cluster b #npd #Mod Reef #anonymous #mood! #some guy was walking down the street in the same direction we were #and we're not in the best part of town but we're also not in the worst #but our immediate reaction was 'oh my god he's coming to kill me!! wow i wonder if I'll get on a true crime show lol'

[mycological-mariner]

Sometimes I think that I was the weird sibling. And then I remember my little brother forcing us to stop and pick up roadkill so he could take it home, bury it and have all the bugs eat it, dig it up again, clean the bones and articulate them in the shed. He embalmed his pet scorpion. He collected live ‘specimens’ and just kept them in his room. Once he got so excited to see a shark while in the middle of the sea he threw himself/fell over the rail. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence to find dead animals in the freezer while he was studying them. And this was all before he was even 11.

All I wanted to be at 11 was a sea captain.

#his birthday is coming up #oh my god #I say all this like I didn’t have SOME part to play in it #when my snake died he decided to be respectful and we had a funeral pyre #I HELPED him embalm his scorpion! #I mean. I researched how to preserve one and helped with the trickier bits #I will never forget going out to the ice box opening it and finding a neatly dissected frog and baby shark that had washed up already dead #I’ll never forget when he thought it was a good idea to bring a bunch of spiders into his room! #I still feel them crawling on me sometimes #we used to plan on me being a captain and taking him all over the world so he could study his animals #but I have epilepsy and he’s dead so #he drew us together in a boat with a giant whale in the background and I taped it to my wall with packing tape #he’d be 21 on Halloween #he was a gentle heart though #he hated the film Jaws because they killed the shark (fair) and wouldn’t stop crying #holy shit #I miss him #wow personal much? what is this emotions? #im just in a reflective mood tonight i guess lol #and if anyone’s wondering I’m a writer/actor lol far cry from dashing sea captain #I wanted to be a sea captain before my brother was BORN I love the sea #im a sailor but I can’t ever get my license to captain an entire ship #guess I’ll be a pirate #pirate scientist siblings!

[boyfeminism]

i really Shouldnt use the for you page but sometimes i get bored and this time it was fucking Entirely ed posts mixed in with fanart for stray which fucking sucked and then like 4 posts abt bpd at the end which is not something that even has Anything to do with me so overall bad experience many people blocked

#anyways. #sorry if this sounds harsh but if youre posting abt an eating disorder and not tagging it in the simplest of ways #i hate you #i dont care what argument could possibly be made against me i genuinely hate you #ed tw #<- wow 4 letters! isnt that easy! fuck you #i did NOT like any posts related to eating disorders or bpd nor did i follow anyone new so. #not sure where tumblr pulled that one #on par with wei/ght lo/ss ads #killed the fun sleepy mood i was in. #idk it doesnt even affect me the way it used to its been like. long enough since the peak #that i am okay and every time ive like. idk relapsed or whatever ive recognized it and adjusted in that same day in a way that is healthy #and nothing really drives me to that behavior very easily anymore #but it still fucking Nauseates me i dont want to see it in my stupid tumblr bubble tbh and its as simple as that #and it makes me upset bc then youre just. subjecting ppl it DOES affect to the same thing! bc you cant fucking tag things #speaking

[bubblyernie]

gonna vent for like 2 seconds in the tags

#okay but like you ever bring up something that you've previously expressed trouble with only for the #person youre talking to be like omg yeah that turned out so well for me #like im very happy for you bro but like also #gestures vaguely and looks into camera #idk im usually not too picky on insensitive things bc I also miss social cues and generally try to be patient about that sorta thing but li #like #and ofc i cant be like wow I'm so happy for you but also can you not do that #like rn at least maybe later? #bc i AM happy for them and don't want to kill the mood #but now i feel like Ultra Mega Shitty lol

[chisatowo]

Yknow I rly hope Rui and Rinko get an event together in the near future. I feel like there's just a lot of interesting things that could be explored between them in regards to their childhood, and now that Rui has grown a lil bit I think it'd be nice to either have them actively talk abt it with maybe some flashbacks or smth, or even just have them hang out and move forward from past awkwardness. Either way, I think it'd be a good sort of event for both of them and considering its already been so long with just above nothing for them I think they could rly use it

#rat rambles #band posting #just like damn bandori dont throw one of morfonica's like two pre story out of band connections theyve already suffered enough fndkdmdj #well three to ig 7 if we count kasumi and the rest of popipa but I dont think they count #that being said Im willing to forgive if it meant that they needed to give rui more time to develop first #if we do get this sprt of event itll probably not be anytime soon I think since they were both in mixed events fairly recently #the next event looks like itll be a full pastel*palettes event though so full morfonica is certainly possible for the next #dont take my word on it though Im not good at predictimg scedule stuff fnddjd #but yeah rip to the ppl who were hoping for ayahina event Im pretty sure its ayamaya #I am a lil surprised by maya but sure ig I dont strongly care #another wedding themed set though it would seem I hope hina wears an ugly lil suit #also hope chisato does too but I already got that with the colab song mv so cant be too greedy fndkfndjf #no strong hopes otherwise though just hope its good ig #wow rly got off track here oops gbdjsbd #Ive just been in a prediction mood since Ive been thinkimg abt kirafes pairing possibilities #masurui kirafes is uncomfortably possible but Im not gonna get my hopes up since its still not the most likely for either I think #definitely not for masking at least thats for sure fndkdkdj #but if it does happened I called it ok also thatd be the thing that kills me for real

[snekdood]

idk who needs to hear this but its okay to hate ppl. its ok to distrust ppl. no, obviously, you shouldn't do anything stupid and hurt someone. no, obviously, you shouldn't lock yourself away forever. but I don't think most ppl who feel these kinds of ways actually want to do that and are more or less just frustrated and trying to express that emotion. I think suppressing it is worse.

dont let tumblr people make you feel like a shitty person just because you want to feel your emotions.

#mood #reminder #hey you- you asshole who tells ppl they're bad for this- how about instead of being like #omigosh that totally means u want to kill ppl and #genocide ppl and im gonna make a million jumps to say it means u wanna kill minorities specifically #consider: how about you actually ponder #*why* someone might say something like that- or more accurately- feel like that. #because i can bet that it's not because they really really hate minorities. #most of the people i see who say “i hate people” are fucking emo n goth kids ok i really dont think they're thinking about specific #minorities you fuck im p sure theyre just frustrated w people around them. #wow tumblr fucked up these tags a lot #why cant this website decide if its gonna let me use quotation marks in the tags or not fuck #when im venting saying 'i hate the world and everyone blehhh' im not also thinking in my mind 'ah yes and also i am specifically targeting #native americans when i say this' like dfhjvsvdfghv #considering i live in missouri and theres unfortunately barely any native people around here im p sure they're not the first fuckin ppl #my mind jumps to. probably goes to idk. people who've abused or traumatized me? authority figures? ppl who make shit rly inconvenient? #bullies? conservatives? people who make life worse as their job??? like #p sure its not about you or whatever group of ppl you gotta pretend i hate so badly #if YOU feel attacked then hey maybe stop treating me like shit lmao and i wont feel this way #bc i only ever feel this way when im bein treated like shit 🤷

[heylinfanclub]

Goin to bed mad realizing the encroaching rage has another cause: lmao out of weed again.

#me. #420. #therapy. #(I literally haven’t learned another way to cope with being mad #(and I’m always LOWKEY ANGRY #(like FUMING ON THE VERGE OF SNAPPING #(weed kept that from happening #(I’m sure there’s. literal medication for it. but ehhhhcckk…. #(I don’t want to get back on anti depressants for sure #(but my emotions reemergence from the antidepresso brain fog has been AGGRESSIVE #(no straight up depression but shit makes me cry and shit makes me GROWL like I used to #(was on those pills for four years #(didn’t learn how to handle any of the emotions that forced me on them in the first place #(the emotional Dysregulation that had me mood dropping on the daily #(🏃🏻 eckk I need to sleep #(still #(it’s no depression relapse it’s just ‘wow I haven’t felt my feelings fully in a while I remember how much I HATED THEM’ #(at least the cat seems to realize I’m upset and has sHUT HER FUCKING YOWL HOLE and laid down by my head #(had to kill two bugs. mad about tumblrs lack of function. generally back on my ‘every inconvenience feels like THE FINAL STRAW’ #(read a post about how that’s certainly a sign that you’re struggling in more ways than one but lmao #(nothing can be done #(just like nothing can be done about this shitty websites UI #(which is the crux of all my frustrations #(a powerlessness that just makes me wanna TAKE POWER AND KILL SOMEONE WITH MY TEETH #(even though the consequences of such an action would set me up to be even more powerless #(hrgrhrhggg I just wanna bite someone JUST ONE BITE

[panlyv]

hm

#self harm tw #against all odds i did not self harm today wow #i was this close but i didn't #simply bc it was a pain in the ass to patch up my right thigh so #it hurts like a bitch sometimes it makes me so annoyed gsdhajdkdj like yea yea self harm cutting open ur thigh is gonna hurt but can u stop? #my mood swings so much too im legit losing my fucking mind dude #i think i need to get back on meds fr. just dont know how to sit my mom down to tell her #like oh hey gotta a sec great so remember three years ago when i tried to kill myself? yeah its about to happen again #im actually gonna try to get my prescription back alone but if it doesn't work then ya ill have to tell her ugh #i need to book a psychiatrist bc idk if taking my old nortriptyline is gonna help or if i need something else #because my mind is literally kill yourself kill yourself kill yourself 24/7 👍👍👍 #and if i dont get the meds soon ill just be goneeeeeee #so ya #for some godforsaken reason maybe i dont wanna go #which is stupid bc ik the cycle is gonna keep repeating like it has for the past 10 fucking years #but. at least till only friends ends ig lmfaoooooo #anyway #going to try and sleep when im a side sleeper and both sides of my hips and legs are full of cuts 🫡 #dawn.txt

[flickeringsparks]

I feel like I ruin every good thing and every good moment because I can’t keep my damn mouth shut

#it wasn’t even a big deal today I just killed the mood a little but like that’s kinda why it stings. like wow even small moments get ruined #because I said the wrong thing #love that for me #vent post

[justaz]

country bumpkin merlin not knowing anything about city life and accidentally courting arthur without knowing

merlin, watching gwen give lancelot her favor: why do you do that

gwen, heart eyes at lance and not paying that much attention to the conversation: so he knows i’m rooting for him

merlin, with an Idea: ah.

gwaine, lover of chaos, pisser offer of nobles and royals alike, ultimate wingman: merlin…you have such lonely lips. shall i introduce them to mine?

merlin, unaware of the game gwaine is playing: so you can steal my breath away? i think not, scoundrel

arthur, crushing his goblet in his hand:

merlin: arthur’s been in a bad mood recently :( i should cheer him up

merlin, remembering when arthur was put out when merlin brought morgana flowers and not him: i know just the thing

merlin, bringing a bouquet of carnations, roses, and tulips and setting them on arthur’s table while he’s eating breakfast: good morning, sire

arthur, trained on flower language in hopes that one day when he was to take a queen he could woo her easily, trying not to audibly choke on his sausage as he reads merlin’s declaration of love sitting in front of him:

arthur, who recently found out about merlin’s magic and was trying to find a way to bring it up, catching him in the act and watching merlin panic to explain himself:

merlin, Freaking: and i swear to you arthur, i have only ever used it for you. my magic is yours. my life is yours. i am yours. i would never do anything to harm you. i have protected you for years and will continue to do so at your side if you’ll have me

arthur, already believing them to be courting, desperately trying to figure out if that was a proposal for marriage or not but tired of being confused and deciding fuck it: here.

merlin, taking it: i…uh…huh?

arthur, watching merlin with hawk eyes and trying to figure out what he’s thinking and feeling: it’s my mothers sigil

merlin, confused as FUCK but is focusing on the fact that arthur is handing him something of his mother rather than a death sentence: my…my lord?

arthur, realizing how scared merlin’s must be about him finding out about his magic and trying to comfort him while also proposing, killing two birds with one stone: i will always keep you at my side, merlin, so long as we both shall live. if you’ll allow me.

merlin, almost collapsing with relief and tearing up, smiling at arthur as if he had parted the storm clouds to allow sun to shine down on them in that moment: of course…of course, arthur. always and forever.

merlin, watching the castle staff rush this way and that: wow. this banquet must be incredibly important

sir leon the long suffering, day one ride or die, one of the original merthur shippers: banquet? merlin, this is for your wedding

merlin, overworked and exhausted: my WHAT? to WHO??

leon, regretting everything he’s ever done in his life that led him to this moment: to…arthur?

merlin, over joyed but also absolutely befuddled: i’m getting married to ARTHUR?????

leon: you two have been courting for the past year or so, have you not?

merlin: i’ve been COURTING ARTHUR?????? FOR A YEAR?????????

#merthur #i spent like an hour researching medieval courting rituals to make this #and even then #i did not find much #so if there’s someone out there who is like weirdly knowledgeable about 6th century courting rituals #feel free to add on #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin emrys #sir gwaine #sir leon #sir lancelot #guinevere #i literally started this post bc i was thinking about the misunderstanding between merlin and gwen and merlin’s giving arthur his favor #and then i kept going #but i didn’t have much else in the ole noggin to write #i’m sorry #please forgive me

[viovio]

weird day to have so many positive moments for me obviously it needs to be offset by showing iza the most gruesome shit humanity can offer

#my coffee did the thing again where it made me suuuuuper jittery and simultaneously delve into suicidal thoughts #like calm down im taking a test #speak iza #sui tw #its actually silly like wow i know what i wanna do now! spidrvrse is making me realize #i could deal with the hardships of character and background design because i do want to study it!! and be a part of something greater- #-actually thats too much work youll be exploited your parents will never leave you youll be tired and this country is shit. kill yourself #its worse but somehow more mundane than that like i dont want to make breakfast kill yourself then #sui discussion #vent tw #i guess? #its not even a shit mood but MY STOMACHS DOING THE FUCKING THING AGAIN