#works for anything but in my life its adhd

[quasarkisses]

need a shirt big enough to print "IF YOU IDENTIFY WITH ADHD YOU DO NOT NEED A DIAGNOSIS. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS ADAPTING LIFE TO FIT YOUR SHAPE" and have it still be legible

#blah blah blah #for all the people im close to who are like haha yeah i always thought i might have it #works for anything but in my life its adhd #if you see a system that would improve your life you don't need permission or diagnosis to implement it #who cares if you ''have it'' do whatever makes your life easier

[measureyourlifeincake]

just took an adhd assessment and... i honestly dont see how this will be sufficient for giving me a diagnosis? i just had to take two tests, one where i had to hit the space bar when hearing a high pitch after a low pitch (as opposed to after *just* hearing the high pitch), and one where a bunch of letters flashed on the screen and i had to hit the space bar when any of them except for x popped up and like... i don't see how this has anything to do with any of the issues i actually experience in my life due to my probable adhd???? like ok i guess it has something to do with focus? which is a part of the whole adhd thing but not all of it? i did take a (very brief) adhd questionnaire as one of my intake forms before seeing this psych for the first time but that wasn't part of the assessment itself but even that (which was only like. 15 questions? maybe?) seemed like it had more to do with how i experience adhd

#idk man im not a psychiatrist or neurologist or whatever so maybe this is super evidence-based and works really well #though a quick google of what adult adhd assessments are supposed to be like seems to suggest that theyre usually way more involved #and even if the tests i did are a part of it theres usually a lot more bits #such as like. idk a LONGER self-assessment questionnaire where you can actually answer questions on how adhd symptoms impact your life? #shrugs #anyway i fucked up on the letters one a bunch so hopefully thats sufficient for whatever these things are supposed to test #also i havent got any communication whatsoever on when my results will come back or anything so thats great #ughhh #well at least its telemed so i got to do it in my jammies cozy in bed and i can just go back to sleep now #life of bea #adhd

[dysfunctionaldogdude]

I feel like actually shit like the entirety of last week getting to me. I wish I could have a moment of actual relaxation and not just me forgetting I have shit to do.

(Tag warning-> depressing talk, dark topics)

Might delete this idk..

#vent post #tag rambles #I have over 60 different things to fill out that I need to do by tomorrow and I forgot to do them. I feel so stupid #I actually hate having adhd #people try to make it out to be just a quirky thing that its not that big of a deal or anything #but it's not #it impairs on relationships #I struggle to remember important things that I need to do and even WANT to do. I struggle so bad #I even have fights with people about me being a “liar” even though I'm not #I just have a shit ass memory I feel useless 90% of the time and shit #gods and I doubt it's just me having adhd. Im pretty sure its my possibility of having bpd and autism #i show all symptoms of bpd and I relate far too much with autism videos #like this is stuff active in my daily life #people don't see it often due to have carefully Ive crafted.. this is going to sound a bit fannibal of me but literally a person suit #i swear a person suit #it's not even funny #gods i just wish I could function without getting all up and arms about how much of a pos I feel #if I don't get attention from.. basically.. my fp I get all sad and melancholy. i spiral #I'm pretty sure I have at least three fps #if I even have bpd #but gods #just so stupid how I can barely fucking function without all of these crutches #I'm not in a certian program anymore for a thing and now I can't fuction and work how I use to since it was a slower environment #I'm failing #like I won't be able to make it I feel like #not suicide or anything #just in things I wanted to do #feels like my future is doomed cause life keeps throwing curve balls at me #someone with at least two mental disabilities #i definitely have more

[clown-femme]

I kind of resent when other adhd people talk about hyperfocus only because I'm jealous that I don't do that. I WISH I could zero in and stay focused on one task at a time. Can you imagine. I can't even do that with things I like.

That said I am also annoyed when people misuse the term hyperfocus to just mean 'the thing I'm into right now' but that is Beside the point

#i think my Heavy depression makes it hard for me to get the brain chemical response needed for the adhd brain employees to go 'mm yummy' #'more of this please' and make me lock into focus #i think there is a factory between my ears and there are two departments that are at odds #and one is my depression and the other is the adhd #and the depression has halted production of dopamine. it cut funding on serotonin and dopamine because of my life's conga line of misfortune #and the adhd side is like. goddamn we need some dopamine bad. we are going to try to do everything at once to get some. 87 tabs. #14 rps going on at once. three songs stuck in head. click teeth together too. #we are NOT touching a single thing that doesnt help the dopamine machine make more dopamine for us so cut all other activities. work??? well #work is hard. actually most things are hard. and they take too many steps. now i know things like our hobbies Might produce dopamine but #well its not fast enough. and also tooooo many steps. everything too many steps. #sit on couch and 87 tabs just enough steps. #this has to be the case until we can get enough dopamine from anything at all to want to linger on an activity #and then back to depression #where its like. see?? look. we dont do anything and we hate ourselves. we cant make ourselves do things that we like or dislike. #this is why we cant have dopamine or serotonin. #and then i am left on the outside unable to focus on my work or my writing or even on fun things like rp #sorry for wall of tags

[dayzadraws]

Hello Serennedy(Serrenedy?? idfk) nation... today I bring you some food, tomorrow? Who knows.. Anyway, 4/5 drawings on this first doodle sheet here are inspired by a really good fic I think everyone should check out!! The dialogue is fun and the plot is silly.. what more could a person need to fill the time? I've never linked smth on tumblr before so bear with me but hopefully this works. Everyone go check it out rn fr!!!!

The rest of these are a collection of various doodles I found funny enough to see the light of day and shitposts LOL I use my time wisely here.

I cannot believe Leon's eyebags are so dark I was able to use them to color-pick the trans flag from his palette but here we are... someone let him take a nap...

#yippeee #fanart for fanfic #wow i didnt know that was a tag #dayza drawings #ik i spelled palette wrong in the colorpicking pride flags one I don't want to hear it!!! #ashley graham re4 #she is the love of my life #do you ever see someone so perfect you start crying #bc its her #luis serra #leon s kennedy #re4r #serennedy #ig I know what the tag is now #fr though everyone go read the fic its so good #and the author is so nice too go leave kudos or smth #I need to go to bed!!! #I do have one more post in the works but I can't promise anything after that. It's the ADHD sorry folks. #wahoo!! shoutout to my friend who knows nothing about resident evil but the 'no thanks ... bro' line. ur a real one.

[tottenhamhotsperm]

whatever I have going on in my brain is genuinely debilitating

#i cant even remember my weekend plans. i know i have stuff to do but i cant remember anything. ive never had brain fog this bad before #maybe its adhd but i cant even get it checked out bc my parents dont believe in mental health #and now i cant do anything except talk to my roommates go to work and watch 911 #idk theres nothing outright bad going on in my life but it just feels like im in limbo #personal

[ittybittybeastiebuddy]

The desperate yet guilty anxiety that comes from having to essentially beg for accommodations from my college professors is an emotion I wish I was less familiar with

#beastiebites #didnt get shit officially last year so had to ask all my professors individually for extension when i needed #and idk if ill get anything this year so Im once again resorting to oversharing in a desperate attempt to get ny professors to understand #Im fucking disabled and mentally ill and I need deadline extensions like i need water #i feel awful about it though its sorta fuckin humiliating to have to write an email that is me on my hands and knees praying they wont #think im trying to get out of work #im passionate about these classes and i wanna learn so bad Im just #so fuckin mentally ill rn #and i need help #but i dont have access to the help I need #so im just sorta #slowly watching as i become more and more despondant and emotionally drained #and struggle to do basic fucking tasks #Im sorry im just tired and stressed #gonna go to sleep and hopefully feel a little better in the morning #tw vent #vent post #actually autistic #actually adhd #anyways i wish everyone a good day and i hope you have spoons to deal with whatever bullshit life throws at ya

[stardust41]

. TW PERSONAL VENT!!!

(Because i cant talk to anyone about this rn)

#i feel so fucking useless #this is the year i have the most responsibilities #the most work #and only one month to fix a bunch of things that could literally change my future #and I've been doing nothing #i dont know if its thr adhd #or I'm just that fucking stupid of a person thati cant do anything right #i had so much time this weekend to fix things and I did motherfucking nothing #aside from worrying #MY LIFE IS GOING TO SHIT AND ITS ALL MY FAULT #i have no clue what to do but i havent done anything to change it and thats what pains me the most #because I feel like a lazy ass that can do nothing right #i have been enjoying life more this year but I've also been fucking up so many things #i feel like life would be so much easier if time just stopped #like completely #for a while at least #but even then even if it stopped for a while year I know i would fuck things up and do all things i needed to do right at the last minute #like always #just fucking my own life up and disappointing everyone #vent.tw #vent post #tw vent #stfu star

[possibly-eli]

i dont understand what about this is so difficult for people to comprehend:

i just kinda want my thoughts on opinions on MY OWN HEALTH to be entertained instead of immediately disregarded

like. im 17. i shouldnt be having back pain so often. i shouldnt be having such severe leg pain. i shouldnt be dealing with such shitty hand joints. but FUCK ME i guess i dont get a say in jack SHIT about my own health!!!!! because what i say means fuck all!!!!! ok man!!!! whatever i guess!!!!!!!

#its shit like THIS that makes me TERRIFIED to bring shit up to my therapist #i cant tell her if i have an idea on what might be wrong with me because shell probably just NOT LISTEN TO ME #because thats what my LAST therapist did #and what my mother CONSTANTLY DOES #FUCK #this is why i have to self-diagnose by the fucking way #not that its any of your goddamn business what we do and why #its because of Trauma and Stigma and the fact we already Have autism so apparently. according to The Law or something #that means i cant be mentally ill in any Other way #so i GUESS ill go Fuck myself and have to deal with only being self-diagnosed with adhd. and atypical depression #and c-ptsd. for the rest of my life #and not get any treatment for anything despite it directly impacting my quality of life #and maybe being connected to my shitty memory issues #but lmaoooo that doesnt matter lol lmao rofl fuck this guy this guy doesnt know what hes talking about #how could any mentally ill person have an idea on whats wrong with them Thats Not How It Works #did i mention that that was a mindset i had btw #i dunno where i picked it up but probably from my parents #“a mentally ill person doesnt know theyre mentally ill” thats the stupidest shit ive heard in my life #also im not going to debate the validity of my mental illness with you #i have npd. that is a fact because of LITERALLY. FUCKING EVERTHING #im just not pursuing a Professional Diagnosis at this time because it wont do anything for me and itll be more trouble than its worth #and if i have my knowledge on That questioned i might Actually kill myself

[sillypilled-friendcel]

"what do you know about drinking" "what do you know about smoking" "what do you know about weed" "what do you know about drugs" you do not know me or my life!!!!!!

#hes always like “what do you know” and then theres a chance hell call me the r slur #and like. i was a smoker for 4 years. i was an alcoholic for 6. #i did speed in muddle school #i smoked pot and had edibles. i had edibles woth my fucking parents. #amd then he complains that i have a vape (bought with my own money!!) and that my parents give me alcohol now (they gave my sisters alcohol #at 13!!) #like he smoked and drank around my suster with cigarettes and drinks my parents bought her #but the moment ma buys me a vaoe with ny own money or i have any experience drinking its awful #i guess its because shes sooo mature and hard working and ik just a disrespectful kid #even tho im a fucking adult now and he never had any right to treat me half the way he did/does #“i treat her like i treat my 10 year old brother” srsly. srsly?? am i 10 now? am i your 10 yr old baby brother now? no. im 18 fucking years #old and i had a totally different life experience than your brother when i was 10 too. we are not related. that is NOT what they meant when #they said to treat me like your younger sister. fuck you. fuck off. #also. im SORRY to your brother if this is how you treat him. but it fucking isnt. your kind to him. you play with him. u fckng LOVE him #while ur an absolute abusive POS towards me #u literally talk shit about me! too my friends!! what? u think my bestie since 6th grade and my cousin ive known all my life are gonna agree #with you? how fucking stupid can u be? #also. u r not the expert on disability just becuz u lost half ur foot and have adhd. ur extremely fucking ableist actually #“i could play sports and so cpukd this guy with a pacemaker i knew so no disability is ever an excuse you can do anything and also im gonna #call you (an autistic person) a retard and say the n word constantly and call children n word lettes!!!! becuz i am a totally normal and wel #well adjusted individual!!!“ #i hope someone hears you say half the shit you say and fucking jumps your ass #and i hope those fuckings pigs u love so much dont do shit for you #you ableist racist transphobic homophobic intersexist bigoted piece of fucking shit #like. if a form of bigotry exjsts he fucking loves it. #god. fuck you. fuck you fuck you. #i hope you fucking kill yourself

[i-like-gay-books]

long post so i GUESS i’ll put it under the cut

so i’ve been really reflecting lately on my self diagnosis of autism, especially since i’ve been really coming into myself and managing my anxiety better than ever before, and ive been wondering whether it might be that the symptoms i thought were attached to being autistic are just how anxiety manifests in me and the things about myself that i thought proved that i dont have adhd in any way may also just be how anxiety manifests in me. because also even though ive really related with autism and the social symptoms, i’ve never really been sure i have sensory processing issues, at least not to the extent that the dsm specifies in order to be autistic. and what i really HAVE related to is the inability to just sit down and get shit done. so i took another self assessment with this clearer knowledge i have of myself and how i really function as a human being when im on my own and living as an adult and

the only ones that arent high levels are literally the ones that i can directly pinpoint as one of my biggest concerns with my anxiety. impulsivity is the one that makes adhders more likely to butt into conversations or keep going on for a long time or make decisions and later regret them. as you may have noticed i am particularly long winded when im typing, but is that true of me in real life? like at all? not really. i struggle to get two words out sometimes. i was selectively mute in my childhood. i can say for a fact that the reason for this in my hyper-awareness of the potential of making a faux pas or embarrassing myself in social situations. and i have decision paralysis due to the same phenomenon. im very aware of the potential of disappointing other people if i make a bad decision. im not sure if impulsivity would manifest itself in the “typical” adhd way if my anxiety wasn’t there, but i have no way of ever knowing that because it is.

and forgetfulness. i beat that shit out of myself when i was younger. i can clearly remember a time in elementary school, then in middle school, then in high school (before i started writing sticky notes for myself) when i would get myself in trouble just simply because of forgetting about assignments. my family is very academically oriented. my parents wouldnt be SUPER mad at me if i was trying my best and didnt get good grades, but i knew they would be disappointed if i didnt try my best. i have so many systems in place so as to never ever forget about schoolwork any more. you have no clue how revolutionary it is for me that college professors actually put all of the assignments for the semester of the syllabus. one of my biggest gripes about high school was that the teachers would just assign homework seemingly at random? it was easy to forget if you werent writing it all down, ok? and for appointments? same deal. my parents kind of took care of the remembering appointments part before i got older and by now i do have these systems in place for myself. i do often forget to make calls, mostly because i dont make a point of writing it down as a task for myself because making calls gives me anxiety. yeah.

also i sat here and took this assessment and wrote all of this instead of working on my 2000 word midterm paper due next tuesday for which i have exactly one sentence written. listen, procrastination is a universal trait, but i just felt like it was relevant.

#not saying this necessarily proves anything #and of course i know professional assessment is the only true way to know #but i have anxiety #and possibly adhd #how do you think i handle the medical system? #i really shouldve had therapy at this point in my life but thats too difficult to get started lol #OH #also #i am fucking SHIT at creating habits for myself #i have to physically force myself to even go and brush my teeth every night and every morning #and washing my face only gets done half the time because its easier to not do it and i get bored if im in the bathroom too long #i have to make every task i do more interesting for myself or i wont do it #i used to hate taking time out of my day to even shower before i started listening to music in the shower #and i like to watch shows or videos while i cook or wash dishes or fold laundry #damn i maybe shouldve considered this more seriously sooner #i forgot to consider the world in which all social anxiety does not automatically equal autism #i need to stop typing now #i really have work to get done #ugghghhghghghhhhh #cloudy rambles

[anxiously-going]

Is anyone else afraid of trying ADHD life hacks for fear they won't work and you'll discover you're brain is even more out of sorts than you could have ever imagined or is that just me?

#screaming into the void #the avoidance is so unbelievably high #'try this adhd friendly life hack to make chores more manageable' #okay but if doesnt work what do i do then? what do i do when things that are supposed to help nd brains dont work for my nd brain? #im terrified of things that should be helpful not working because it somehow means there's something more wrong with my brain #it doesnt help that i know there is more to my brain's functionality that adhd/autism whichever it is #but its so frustrating that i have a hard time getting myself to do chores and even basic cleaning because #i dont want to find out im more broken than i thought #i already know its true to an extent i already know i have something of a trauma response to cleaning #but that coupled with things that are supposed to make life easier and better not working and not helping is terrifying #it makes me feel hopeless #time and time again ive been told im wasting my time #its to a point where im terrified to try to do anything but intentionally waste my time because at least then i didnt really lose anything #at least then i didnt really screw anything up because i was doing exactly what i intended to do and i cant be told i was doing something #wrong that way

[ruairy]

.

#if im remebered for anything in life i hope its autistic cat boys #sure i only have like 2 (so far) but they are also some of my finest work i think #Reynante wasnt even supposed to have autism #he was meant to be the adhd cat that shreds all the curtains #but he can be both as a treat #two cat boys two different kinds of autism which one are u #that being said i wouldnt be surprised if my other ocs are already autism coded bc i only know how to wrote neurodivergent gay ppl #write what u know as they say

[wabblebees]

.

#rant incoming! tldr: im just complainin' bc im a dumbass playing with the new blorbos from my head but i SHOULD be asleep. oops #had brain fog + migraine + joint pain BAD all mcfucken day #to the point where i spent the last 11 hours just laying in bed being adhd miserable bc it Hurt to be awake but the understimulation had me #fuckt UP. i couldnt sleep to escape it bc i couldnt fucken relax my FACE enough to make my head stop hurting but i felt like i was going #full yellow-wallpaper lady in my own head bc through the brain fog + the headache i couldnt focus on anything stimulating or fun enough #and now. NOW. now that its 2am and the ibuprofen is FINALLY working. i cant sleep bc i have dnd brainrot #ive got all these fun ideas that i dont wanna forget so ive been scrambling to get them all down before i can #but also i SHOULD be SLEEPING. yet every time i lay down my brain's silly little lightbulb ''bing!''s Back On and im!! hoough!! #sooo fun thinkin abt it all but also... dude. u dont have a campaign or table or a party or ANYTHING. so W H Y do u gotta do this rn #whyyyy rn. all day i wanted this or sleep and got NEITHER. but!! oh sure nOw the brain worms are active. #i have WORK in the morning little brainworms. its 2am!! where were u at 6o'clock!! we coulda done all this t h e n #But Also. i am rotating these new lil fuckers in my head at mach speeds #im so fucken psyched for smth to happen with these ideas even though ik theres like. literally no way in hell for them to go anywhere lmao. #ive never dm'ed in my gd life hgkfshfkgk idk wtf im doing here. ive played in like. 2 canpaigns total. wtf is going ON lmao #goddamn. adhd my beloathed. ah well #also just realised the phrase 'blorbos from my head' probably sounds.... very very silly lmao #im typing this out bc im hoping doing smth slightly Different will break the brain cycle enough to let me Go Tf To Bed lmao #wish me luck lmaooo #bee speaks

[bam-monsterhospital]

some media i was watching with kait: -implies edgar allen poe's approach to his own work was lackadaisy and impulsive- me: -visceral insta-flashback of grade 8, my first introduction to poe and his work, and my utter 13-yr-old frustration with learning he hyper-planned everything and emphasized the only way to make any poetry work at all is to super-mega-hyper plan everything, like the fucking capricorn he was, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

#ramblings #i obviously didn't understand it at the time #13 yr old me was delving into poetry for the first time in my life #i hadn't hit the realization of 'hey... drafts are important. get everything you want down and tHEN EDIT IT OMG.' yet. #i also had undiagnosed adhd so... yeah #and also couldn't really see it #hell back then i didn't even plan out comic layouts. i just flew by the seat of my pants in a lot of things #moi #memories #art talk #but yeah uh... poe was a planner #like... the only reason anything flows or matches up or anything is BECAUSE of the planning #i mean duh that's the case with most art ESPECIALLY poetry #but poe like... had an opinion(tm) about its necessity #or at least that's what i remember #i still prefer his prose but y'know... that's another convo #god i was so angry and indignant when i read about 'nothing will work if it isn't super mega ultra hyper planned you dolt' #13 yr old me was so myaaad

[toastsnaffler]

it was one of my coworkers birthdays today and she was telling me abt her plans to celebrate and I'm only just realising now that I've left work that she was prolly trying to invite me.. 🤦‍♀️

#SORRY FOR BEING SO OBTUSE WHEN IT COMES TO SOCIAL CUES.. my bad girl 💀 #she was talking abt how difficult organising it was bc not everyone was free on the same day so shes split it into 2 parties #and then she was like ah but i dont think i have you on facebook.... and i thought she was just commenting like 'lucky you dont use fb- #bc its so difficult to plan things using it' not 'do you have facebook. so i can invite you' which in retrospect makes way more sense 😭 #welllll ummm. if she brings it up again ill ask when/where it is and maybe ill be able to come along. i think its mostly ppl from work(?) #or she implied it was anyway #if she DOESNT bring it up im not gonna say anything bc that was embarrassing + my rsd is too strong to invite myself to smth like that #after all the times ive tried to do that before bc i misread things as an invite and got turned down. abysmally painful #and i dont know her THAT well. i mean weve worked together for 5 months but that doesnt count.. #curious abt her life outside of work bc its hard to place how old she is.. she looks v young but ik she has a primary school age kid #so shes probably late 20s/early 30s???? but its rly hard to pin down an exact number.. #shes sweet tho shes the one who also has adhd + her daughter is autistic #anyway..... bus take me hoooome #.diaries