So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.
My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.
With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.
That's what I need to do with Skystar.
MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.
A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.
Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.
So BB!Star Flower...
Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.
(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.
He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.
But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)
Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.
But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).
And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.
Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.
A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.
You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.
I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.
I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school
But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.
She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.
The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.
Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.
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Rewatching Pacific Rim right now, and there's this tiny moment between Mako and Raleigh that I really love
Toward the beginning of the movie, before any of the main action, Mako is showing Raleigh around the shatterdome, introducing him to the newly-renovated Gipsy Danger
Directly after this, Mako shows Raleigh to his quarters and the two of them have this conversation:
They talk a little more, Mako reveals her amazing simulator score, but also confirms that she is not one of the pilot candidates. They then discuss Raleigh's abilities. He asks Mako for her opinion - she thinks he is skilled but too unpredictable and reckless. She ends with this:
Raleigh thanks Mako for her honestly and says she may be right. Then goes on to say this:
And the tiny detail in this scene that drives me crazy is right here
He says when. Not if, when. Mako has just explicitly confirmed that Marshal Pentecost is not considering her for Jaeger pilot. It has already been established at this point that there are only 4 Jaegers left anyway, and that the program is nearing its end, one way or another. In all likelihood, they have very little time left until the end of the whole damn world. Hell, Mako herself just criticized Raleigh, and he could very well wish to get back at her for that, were he a different person. AND YET, despite all of that, he says when. Raleigh has faith in Mako from the very, very beginning, before they even drift together, before he even sees her fight.
And that drives me crazy! I love their relationship so much
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So… I did jingliu’s companion mission…
you’re telling me that the only thing that’s been keeping this woman alive is hatred and a promise she made to someone she loved like eons ago… and that the reincarnation of that same woman who she made the promise to told her that she could cure her mental turmoil if only she let herself rid of the torments of the past, and jingliu was like “nope, my pain is the only thing that’s keeping the memory of my loved one alive, so I shall bare it till the stars go dark” TO HER FACE. And then proceded to tell her that even though she couldn’t physically do anything to aid her illness, just by being near her once again, she healed more than any medicine could’ve ever done.
So, she’s doomed by immortality to live her life infinitely with the grief of the loss of the one she loved + the loss of her own sanity, and the guilt of the deeds made whilst she wasn’t lucid in her own body. Believing herself a sinner and a criminal, with no memories of the good times, all stolen by her own mind- with only hatred left towards the people that she once called her friends. A revenge that could never be fulfilled by her own blade. So, she seeks for one last final respite before being locked away at last, to serve her due. She tries one final time to draw blood, to diminish, to sever- to grant a favor, to end a life. And throughout that last display of violence she gets, once again, to see a flash of the face that she had missed so dearly, of a soul she once loved that until then had been stored amongst forgotten phantoms of what once was. In the end neither of them get what they sought. Either way, they are doomed to keep trying still, for eternity. To hate each other. To mourn. To hate themselves, to punish themselves, to punish each other. To kill. To die. To be reborn, yet again, with the same weight on their shoulders and a feeble mind that’s just on the verge of collapse. Sick and tired. Forever.
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A wounded bird... (analysis below gifs)
Chilton comparing Will to a wounded bird
Bedelia about a wounded bird in the grass
The Wrath of the Lamb
Rewatching season two again, I realized that it wasn't Bedelia who first said something about a wounded bird, but Chilton! In "Takiawase", Chilton states that Will is a poor, confused, wounded bird for Doctor Bloom and Jack Crawford, but he sees psychopathic tendencies in him.
In "... and the woman clothed in the sun" Bedelia talks about a wounded bird in the grass and that her first thought would be to kill it, but of course she wouldn't do it. She claims Will isn't a killer, but Hannibal made him think he is, and out of his compassion, he's capable only of righteous violence, so in other words (and according to me): in her eyes Will is as weak and defenseless as a wounded bird. Bedelia also advises him that the next time he wants to help someone, he should consider to crush them instead to save himself trouble, because extreme acts of cruelty require a high degree of empathy (and Will is an empath). And that's what Will decides to do in the last episode.
Will Graham was an wounded bird the whole time. In the eyes of his friends and co-workers, he was a poor, little, wounded bird, a fragile teacup, as Hannibal put it. Bedelia's words also suggest that she considers him as a wounded bird. In the final episode, Will decides to kill the said bird and show everyone that he is neither weak nor wounded bird at all. (Chiton isn't such a dumb-dumb after all...)
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Hi, I just wondered what your favourite part of the Fenhawke romance was? Like, a scene/moment that really made you fall more in love with him? I love your writing so much!!
Oh, that is very kind of you to say! 💗I'm glad you enjoy the things I've written. I've really been enjoying writing for this ship, especially the past few months c:
As for your question...
Man, that's tough. I have a hard time picking one thing---I mean, *gestures to all the fic* you know? But I can narrow it down to a couple of scenes/elements:
The fact that a romanced Fenris still calls you "my friend" even after the act 2 romance scene. This is just...the bedrock of their relationship to me. Yes, that night went very poorly (understatement, I know), but at the core they are friends and he trusts Hawke in a way he's likely never had the cause or opportunity to trust someone before. I believe he never stopped loving Hawke, and it was a matter of laying those feelings out and understanding them one at a time. Romantic love not replacing platonic love or eclipsing it, but building or twining together is just... *chef's kiss* that's the good stuff.
The moment during the romance conversation in Act 3 when you can see Fenris go from hoping (painfully hoping!) that there is still some way he and Hawke can be together to actually believing it will happen. There is a shift in his body language that I could watch (and...have) over and over.
The element of choice? This is not going to be coherent, but the fact that he is learning for the first time what it means to have options and preferences, and he spends a lot of time exploring and understanding himself...and after all of that, the thing he keeps coming back to is Hawke. I think it's gorgeous. A song with refrains of pain or fear and choruses of decision and hope. He's loyal to a fault, in many ways, but understanding how much of himself exists to share and then still choosing to share it is just...man. I said this wasn't going to be coherent lol, so there you are. "If there is a future to be had..." like he doubts its existence but he's willing to chance it for Hawke. Man.
But, honestly? I've played DA2 a lot of times and never romanced another character, even though I've played through multiple romance storylines in each of the other games. I can't shake the Fenris romance. Every time I open a new playthrough, I tell myself that this is the time I'm going to romance Isabela, and every time Fenris rips that dude's heart out and I just......alright, yeah. Okay. Here we go again.
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