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#will start up my queue again as well
mrthful · 9 months
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i wanted to make a little post with drawings this time, a little less serious than my giant text post… but im so happy to be here again!!! X:oP!!!!
ALSO SEND ME DRAWING REQUESTS!!!! id love to post stuff yall would like to see!!
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marsbotz · 2 months
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good news for all my haters: im not coming back. not properly. i think social media and being around ppl in general is destroying me so im gonna just focus my energy on other stuff
ill probably still be a little bit active occassionally but for now i think il just stick to posting art etc. im moving to sheezy.art (which is down for maintenance rn but opens for registration again on fridays!) bc the energy there is much nicer for me.. but ill still post on here and insta. im also gonna be working on building my own website again!! so bookmark it and maybe some day itll have cool stuff on it.... :]
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kimtaegis · 2 months
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haven’t had such a nice day in so long
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cries softly I'M JUST READY TO OPEN THE ASKBOX DANGIT
not that I don't enjoy/not looking forward to what I have left... but I wish it was already done so I have new things to write!! or at least imagine writing lol
sometimes I have things sitting on my list for so long that the more I look at it, I'm imagining it more, and then it gets. idk. kinda like the equivalent of my brain chewing a piece of gum for a long time till it can't taste flavor anymore??
my brain is like "well I've already thought about it for a while, now you wanna actually write it down??? lol no" BRAIN WHY
like
does that make sense or am I just nuts XD
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sidesteppostinghours · 2 months
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4 + 5 + 8 + 40 + 34 and I) G) F) for Cyrus Becker my beloved 🧡
afternoon idle!! oh my god questions galore *cracks knuckles* cyrus get your ass over here youre up
4. How easy is it to earn their trust?
Very difficult, and at the same time easier than youd think. he definitely doesnt entertain everybody, but hes not unreasonable. hell hear you out if you give him enough reason to (or if he thinks its beneficial to get to know you. do you see why he gets attached to people hes supposed to be manipulating so often). ortega and mortum required him to establish a relationship, which is how they got so close to eachother so quickly. herald got by because cyrus thought hed be a useful contact in the rangers. chen couldve earned his trust a long time ago, they had to work with eachother a lot back when he still ran with the rangers, but chen squandered it on his suspicions and its been too long for cyrus to have any interest in patching up their relationship. argent has largely flown under his radar, she hasnt piqued his interest more than the passing curiosity of why she wanted the regenerator.
5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?
the default is mistrust. sorry yall, hes not taking any more chances than necessary. hes a telepath, he knows all too well what secrets other people hide, and hes not interested in giving people a chance to prove his suspicions wrong. but after hes grown to trust somebody? its... embarrassing how difficult it is to lose it. even though his trust is much shakier nowadays, you still need to have fucked up Majorly to get him back to mistrusting you. if you somehow manage to do that,,, uhhhh. what do you want on your tombstone? (ig its technically its possible to not die and even earn that trust back??? ortega managed, but thats ortega and hes statistically more likely to kill you or ruin your life. depends on how badly you fucked up. id say theres a good 5% chance youll survive the experience without the need for intense psychotherapy)
8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child
listen. follow orders. be exactly who we need you to be. cyrus was a deeply rebellious regene, but he wasnt stupid about it. hed go against the mission in secret, and just enough that nobody wouldve been able to trace any problems back to him. that doesnt mean he was never caught, but he was too competent of a regene to be scrapped, which saved him multiple times before. those few times did cause handlers to keep a closer eye on him though, just in case. handlers would usually keep a harder grip on cyrus, hold him to stricter standards. it contributed a lot to his own self talk. SPEAKING OF WHICH:
40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?
you must imagine me holding him and looking lovingly into his eyes while i dump a gallon of insecurity and perfectionism on him. hes a proud man, he thinks hes better than what other people are capable of, but that arguably makes things worse when he does make a mistake. he of all people shouldnt be like this. add the puppetmaster scar on him and its a hefty load of 'i need to make sure every single step of my plan goes exactly right Or Else." the worst thing about him is that a lot of the petty flaws he thinks apply to him arent correct. AND HE CANT EVEN NAME HIS ACTUAL FLAWS. cyrus you are so smart and walking around with zero self awareness, its the best. please consider stepping into acid.
34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? 
hohohohoho. well. the first step is to get him to feel guilty in the first place. traditionally immoral actions arent going to get to him, obviously. the thing that springs up guilt for him most often is themmys death. he has. a Lot of survivors guilt about that. especially because hes convinced himself he couldve done something and *gestures to the ask above*. guilt will haunt him for life if it doesnt get resolved in a healthy way, but hes gotten good at burying his emotions a long time ago. even when he feels like that, he reserves a specific time to think about it, otherwise itll impede on his plans in the long run. that designated time is. usually when hes supposed to be sleeping. his sleep schedule is just a little bit messed.
I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?
oh dude i Love putting cyrus in aus. its so fun to poke him with a stick and see what happens. the first one i put him in was a band au, it helped me figure out how he would interact with herald. basically cyrus was a masked guitarist (for backstory reasons) for a band daniel happened to be a fan of, except the two of them managed to meet at just regular old work, with cyrus not realizing daniel was a fan and daniel not realizing cyrus was from one of his favourite bands. it led to fun, mlb-esque shenanigans between the two lmfao. the second one i put him in was the becker siblings au, which i still have thoughts and emotionsTM about. that au let me indulge in the 'cyrus is an older sibling' headcanon and i will forever be in debt to it for the amount of protective cyrus i got. third and current au im obsessing over is a 'cyrus survives hb' scenario, where ortega managed to stop him before he jumped out the window. i am getting! so much ortega x cyrus content out of that au! and so much survivors guilt cyrus. cyrus 'using' ortega to forget about heartbreak my beloveddddd. he also says 'i love you' to ortega in this au and canon ortega is SO jealous. also x2, hes an alcohol vice step in this au. heartbreak hit hard and the tequila hits different.
aaaand i still like his canon version better. its just so very much him. out of every step ive got, hes the one i get to stay closest to how i envision based on the choices the game offers. plus he caught me completely by surprise suckerpunching me with an obsession over him and i cant Not respect that.
G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?
not sure whether this means on a character creation level or as a person, but ill answer for 'as a person' because im overall pretty satisfied with how he turned out! but like. god what is there to not be bothered about. my manipulative little shit of a son. ig the trait that frustrates me the most is his self destructive tendencies. like. Sir. are you at all aware of the fact that people care for you and want you safe? and that you can respond to that concern with something other than "i can use this", "sucks to be them", or, "no theyre not"? sir. sir answer the question. hes so empathetic and also literally a telepath but somehow cant compute genuine concern at him. as frustrating as it is though, i cannot deny that it is deeply funny to watch him fumble so badly.
F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?
normal. the ones where people look at me and think "wow, that is a person who is having (a) regular thought(s) about their character! very cool!" you will never see a person who is more normal about their guy than i am (i am grabbing him by the teeth and shaking him like a dog with a very strong kill instinct).
truly though, thinking of him gets me buzzing. hes like a puzzle, i keep breaking him apart and putting him back together again to see how everything works. i have this thing where ill often think about showing character analysis to the characters themeselves, just to see how they would react, and i undeniably do this the most with cyrus. i want to explain step by step (hah) why he is the way that he is now, like the whole timeline is plotted inside my head and its so!!!!! i am!!!!! chewing on him!!!!!
questions from here!
#herald is a lucky bastard#he messed up twice in a row (asking cyrus about his sidestep days+picking him up without consent) but asking for help training saved him#cyrus was straight up being sadistic about it he just wanted to fw herald after those two times and saw training as an opportunity#it wasnt supposed to lead somewhere#anathema vision wouldve fucked him and his guilty ass Up. good thing cyrus is a bastard and abandoned argentine before they crashed 🫶#and because i have an excuse to talk about them again heres some things that ive been thinking about lately:#1. it is So fucking funny to me that all three of them are trans afabs in some way#scientists at the farm in charge of the becker sibling batch: wow look at these three new girl regenes!#cyrus (trans man)/fawn (nb)/river (trans man): . well-#2. brother-madds buckley. just the whole thing. im going to start screaming and punching the floor here#3. WHO WAS THE HG SIBLING THE ORTEGAS SAW IN THE PHOTO. was it just somebody that looked enough like the three to assume it was a sibling#or did it happen to look exactly like one of the siblings. or did they find three photos with siblings that looked like each? I NEED ANSWER#cyrus' is very emotionally intelligent towards everybody but himself#when it comes to himself hes wearing a blindfold and earplugs and pretending nothings wrong#the whole time i was answering that last ask i was thinking about my post talking about how many posts of his were in my queue#god bless that man he never leaves my brain#thank you again for the ask idle :DD#cyrus becker#sidestep#fhr#pulp answers#ask game
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sysig · 2 months
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Original - Concept art
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: The Stanley Parable
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: Mob Psycho 100
Thursday:
2:30 PM: MP100
Friday:
2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix
Saturday:
2:30 PM: Dragon Quest IX
Sunday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
#Weekly TV Guide#What a balanced week :) Don't worry about next week yet don't even worry about it lol#Lots of silliness this week :D#Some kinda-sorta scratchy in that semi-finished/untoned way#Oh y'know what's funny? It's not gonna show up for a bit down the queue yet but lol#So anyone following me for a while - especially on VLH - knows that I doodle with my favourite .5 mechanical pencil#I've had it since I was in school and it Shows lol it is Old and Worn In#And then when I got my .3s that was all I used for like a year - I draw tiny and they feel Wonderful to draw with#But then I started to miss the richness of lines that my .5 can make so I switched back over#Well. You'll never guess what's happened again lol#I do still use my .3s in my alt notebook but I haven't been drawing much in my alt lately! Talking like one doodles a month!#And as is evident I am not a one and done doodle kind of person lol I like to make like fifteen in a given day#So I guess I've been missing it lol - it's so good for detailwork and soft shapes and shading! Feels so delicate <3#My shapes have been feeling weird lately - general construction-wise style-wise y'know - and with my .3 it all just flows so nicely#I get so stubborn about Only Using The Correct Tool but like - I have multiple tools for a reason! Pfft#I'm having fun that's the important part haha I'll point some of them out when they post#Oddly enough it's actually kind of hard for even me to tell the difference by sight - it's much more a tactile feedback thing! How strange ♪
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sillyfudgemonkeys · 9 months
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REALEASE THE DORM EXPLORATION VIDEO FOR P3RE ATLUS! LET ME DOWN ONE MORE TIME!😤😤😤😤
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holocene-sims · 1 year
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story posts?? in this economy??
SURPRISE
NO ADVANCE NOTICE
STORY POSTS ARE BACK TONIGHT
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danikoshi-doodles · 2 years
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Wowie last time I drew Caligula I was posting on my non-art blog
...
No please don't search for my art there---
[Click for better quality!]
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I'm still crying 😠
#this is the kind of blow that would have made me actively suicidal a few years ago and yes i realize how stupid that is#as things are now... I'm not coping *well* but I'm managing to hold onto anger so the depression doesn't totally take over#but i can not stop crying#every time i think I'm finally done it starts up again#this has also pushed my anxiety to the point where i feel like I'm going to pass out throw up or both and i can't stop shaking#audiobooks with my noise canceling headphones were my best/only semi-effective tool for dealing with anxiety#and yes i know. reading is a privilege and i should just be grateful that books are available in my country & that we have libraries at all#this year has been one thing after another and even small things like this pile up and eventually become overwhelming#and this happening as my seasonal depression is really ramping up was just the fucking cherry on top i guess#i almost just. deleted this blog lmao. what's the point of having a book blog when i can't really read right?#but i keep telling myself nothing lasts forever and i will regret it if i throw away an 8 year old side blog#but even looking at books is making me feel even more nauseous and shaky right now#so i might be on hiatus after my queue runs out idk#depends on how long this churning pit of despair lasts i guess#and also. this happened at a holiday weekend all i can't even make a 1-2 hour drive to a library to renew or get a new card#because libraries around here close between 4 & 6PM most days and i can't get to one after my partner gets home from work before they close#everything about this situation is like. worst timing.
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#have been an anxious lil piece of shit since my mother walked past/then in my room bc she smelled something-#this was yesterday btw .. first thing she said was 'u dont vape do u?' and i was like 'no' *queue john mulaney voice: like a liar*#ok well technically only on occasion like if i dont have w**d#anyway she steps into my room and starts fuckin sniffing around and goes 'it smells like .. weed 😐' and just looked at me and guys ..#i am the WORST but my mothers brother aka my gay uncle got kicked out when they were younger bc he smoked too and my mother has grown to#not be fond of it since . so BASICALLY i lightly gaslit her and was like 'mom. seriously ? 🙄'#bc we joke about it on occasion like she went to denver and came back with a fuckin pot that says 'a little pot from colorado' meant for#weed and in my head im like 😭 bro i could actually use this 😭#so thats how we joke but obviously for me its genuinely funny bc of the irony but anyway .#my anxiety was so high after that bc i literally had my pen on me and i just left the situation and started petting my dog and filled up my#waterbottle trying to think of what the fuck i was going to do next but that was literally the end of that#(at least for now but i dont even want to jinx it)#to be proactive tho bc newsflash i do smoke! i got smart as shit and wrapped my smell proof combo bag to make it look like a gift for my#my friends when i go back to school so she wont think anything of it#and then put my pen old battery and vape in a box hidden away so i can still access them if i need but god DAMN#i was def just being stupid tho bc i forget when im at home i cant be so lax and rip the shit out of my pen with my door closed and no fan#anymore like 😐 u dumb fuck i was smarter at 16 with this shit#anyway. its definitely on me and im just mad at myself for it and hope it doesnt come up again/that she isnt overly paranoid with me like i#am with myself rn#also just for some more background my mom and i have never been super close but im really close with my dad but i love with my mom ? so#after this semester not just bc of this situation but i might be like. ive never had a room at dads and id like to at least for summer#and go from there. they just moved and its so cozy and id love to make my room mine over there for once even if it means moving in for abit#but the one thing that would absolutely break my heart is that my dog lives with my mom and its not like i couldnt still see her but i feel#like id feel guilty/like im abandoning her or something :'(#idk if anyone read this far pls lmk ur thoughts#oh and i work right by my moms so its not like i couldnt still visit her but it would break my heart#kylas thoughts#drugs /
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candiednova · 1 year
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aaa finally setting up a queue of art posts so i dont go days without posting art, wish me luck!
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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i will never shut up about ffxiv huh
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#after finishing that emotional quest i am.#just afking a bit in the doman enclave to sell things as usual n. bro. i#peak 1 am i get emotional v easily#listening to cyan's theme brings back memories hehe. stormblood n hien.. i enjoyed that very much#oh n.. ah i just remembered an old friend sorry. that was last year. sigh#that aside i'm just really happy to play ffxiv again rn :(#i'll reply to one of my other friends later bcs she hasn't been doing well lately so i wna. offer some more words#now i'm just afking in sharlayan rn n it brings back so many memories#i remember very keenly. like emet-selch i really am a slave to sentiment#hehe going to sharlayan for the first time w apollo. christmas break. we finally bought endwalker. started msq#it was nighttime when the cutscene ended. we took pictures n marveled at the new sight. the music#the first time i heard the ost n then yk the chorus motif of flow in it.. i'd remember that first moment forever#how.. magical it was. a new adventure. heart filled with hope n love i was really happy then#fast forward i remember afking here a lot while waiting for pf to fill up for raid. i remember afking while waiting for frontlines queue#i remember everything in msq too. i remember doing that all still while we were in our old house#i remember walking around sharlayan a bit while talking to my friends in our lil cwls#i remember months ago earlier this year of how anxious i was. the burdening need of feeling like i have to catch up..#the dread of falling behind. and then moving to materia from twintania i remember how lonely i felt#that lasted for a while. i'd miss the past so much. i miss ffxiv aaaa#i haven't really played actively in months now the thought of it makes me rather sad.. but i treasure every moment i have here#this game will always be here for me to return to. i have a new friend now on ravana yeah. we'll be making that fc in a few days#soon. more friends plan to play. hopefully. i love them all so v much :( i'm emotional rn ohgod ffxiv just. enables me to be vulnerable /po#i've had anxiety bcs like yk returning to the game after. not keeping up w so much content is so daunting.. it's scary#but i've already done so much. i'll continue to do what i can. endwalker's been out for nearly a year n it feels so weird#so much has happened since then but time's going by so fast it's really weird. but just. relaxing in this quiet moment is#it's enough for me right now. i promised myself many things. the least i could do is. do what i can for that#just like my wol here yk looking at her white rose :< i'll hold unto my youth. i shouldn't have to let go of it#flow's lyrics oh my god i remember earlier this year i wld listen to it when i was sad n stressed n it wld bring me to tears. comfort
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lavender-femme · 1 year
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can’t do this shit anymore
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halorocks1214 · 2 years
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me deleting the tumblr bookmark on my computer and the app on my homescreen the night before bcuz i wanted to force myself into a break since i wasn’t feel great about Other Things getting back online One Time to check my notifs before i go to bed
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#so. ive been pretty detatched from m/c/y/t as a whole recently. not to the point that ill abandon fics#but enough that i only engage with content directly on my dash (no going into the tags is what im saying)#for now im just gonna chill. maybe write those other fandom fics i mentioned on my writing blog since the hobbies taking up most of my time#have been wrung a little dry lol#mostly im just gonna wait and see how this plays out. i plan to start writing for m/c/y/t again eventually of course#as for d/s/m/p related stuff that could be Officially Done Finally.#any completed fic will stay up. the WIPS will at the very least be orphaned (if not outright deleted)#this is worse case scenario Everything Plays Out Badly tho (i guess if you can say it hasnt already)#i think im gonna fully uninstall/logout. i didnt want to logout bcuz resigning in is annoying but that looks like what its gonna take F#mutuals feel free to ask for my discord over a tumblr ask in case any of yall wanna talk while im Offline and Touching Grass For Once#regardless of mutual status if you wanna send in an ask i might pop in to answer it and then pop back out#mainly because i rarely get asks anyway LMAO i highly doubt ill get any now#i say use an ask bcuz i get emails for those. comments and/or dms dont reach me outside of tumblr#i think what will bring me back the soonest is if i actually sit down and watch cour 2 of season two for t/&/b YES I HAVENT WATCHED IT YET#cringefail moment i know#otherwise thats basically where ive been. i have a bunch of funny videos saved in my likes that ill queue for yall#as well as some fandom posts in my drafts ill sprinkle in there#drink water stay safe etc etc#i will see yall on the flipside <3#oh also b4 i forget VOTE SNIFFER
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sysig · 4 months
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Undertale
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: Undertale
Thursday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Friday:
2:30 PM: Undertale (Handplates?)
Saturday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Sunday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
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