#why is empathy a thing. why cant i just hate people simply.)

[quodekash]

i just rewatched the greatest showman for the millionth time and my brain wouldnt shut up so i wrote down all the thoughts i had and expanded on them and stuff and now im sharing them here cos why the flip not 

also a lot of these things probably seem super obvious to most people, but unfortunately i am stupid and slow and it took me ages to realise that races exist and even longer to realise that racism exist and even longer for me to realise that it’s an actual problem. (and its the same thing with all discrimination in general) 

Main Thought #1: Barnum Sucks and Jenny is Amazing 

Jenny is not a bad person. The only thing she did “wrong” was kiss Barnum on stage where there were photographers and stuff, but that was because Barnum led her on and she was hurt and stuff so she might as well ruin his image. Barnum is the problem, he’s always the problem. 

And Barnum’s reaction to her singing wasn’t “wow she’s so talented, look at this gift she has, this is lovely”. You can see it, there’s hunger deep in his eyes, there’s excitement of the potential power he could have over her, there’s shock because she could make me successful. With everyone he meets, he never sees potential, he doesn’t do things for them out of the kindness of his heart, he isn’t helping others. He’s using every single person like tools for his own self gain. 

And Charity sees Barnum’s face there, and she’s not even jealous. She’s scared. She reads her husband’s expression like a book, and immediately knows: this poor woman’s life is going to be ruined. And Charity won’t be able to do anything about it. 

Later on, when they’re on tour, Jenny is flirting with Barnum I think, but he rejects her. But she knows he has a wife, she’s met her and she’s also met his kids. Although Barnum would probably twist the story to make it seem like Jenny forced herself upon him, that it’s her fault he cheated, I don’t believe that one bit. Jenny is a kind person. She wouldn’t have tried to pursue him if he hadn’t been giving her signs or reasons to, if he hadn’t been engaging with her in return. He was leading her on, making her think there could be something between them. But then he realises she’s actually grown attached to him, that she wants to be with him, and he doesn’t want that, he just wanted to use her for fame and money and success.

“I’m just another one of your little acts.” He was using her like a tool, just like he did with everyone else he’s ever seemed to care for.

She kisses him and says “That was goodbye.” I feel like she wouldn’t kiss him randomly for the first time as a goodbye. That’s a jerk move. She wasn’t kissing him for the first time, she was kissing him for the last time, because they’ve been doing things together throughout this entire trip, we the audience just haven’t seen it. But he cut her off, not out of love for his wife, but because he doesn’t want her, he wants her fame. 

“I’m not in love with her!” “Of course, you’re not. Not with her, not with me, not with anyone. Just you and your show.” The one person he only ever cared about was Charity, the only person he made a real personal connection with was Charity, the only person that he was never trying to gain from was Charity. He finally regrets everything he’s done because he realises it was the final straw. It wasn’t him cheating that made Charity leave. It was her realisation that he doesn’t care for others, he only cares for himself. Charity is freaking perfect and lovely and Barnum doesn’t deserve her. 

Main Thought #2: Barnum Sucks and Lettie+TheGang are Amazing 

The reason they all feel so betrayed is because they’re outcasts. People hate them, the only people that talk to them are people who only want to give them hate and pain and misery, and hate and pain and misery is all they have ever known their lives to be. But then they met Barnum. And Barnum introduced them to people like them, other people who are treated badly for reasons beyond their control. Most of them probably didn’t even have a family, they were probably abused, disowned, homeless. But Barnum treated them like people, he talked to them like friends, he gave them a job and a meaning and a reason to be and they were happy and had a family. They finally had a place to belong, could finally feel like human freaking beings, and he closed the door on them. He’d gone up the social hierarchy ladder, one rung at a time, slowly climbing up and up, until he joined the oppressors. 

They take a stand against Barnum, against the people who made their lives hell, against everyone who ever wronged them because they’re human beings who don’t deserve how they’ve been treated, they deserve love

Main Thought #3: Barnum Sucks but Lettie is Freaking Awesome 

“Maybe you are a fraud. Maybe it was just about making a buck. But you gave us a real family.”

That translates to something along the lines of: Yeah, you suck. But you gave us a reason to live.

Lettie’s saying that, yeah, Barnum freaking sucks. He doesn’t really care about anyone other than himself. But, without realising it, he gave them a place to belong, and that’s pretty freaking special. She’s trying to tell him that he’s horrible, but he managed to do some good things. Maybe he can change and manage to do even more good things, but intentionally this time.

And then Barnum kisses Lettie on the cheek, and she makes this face of hope and joy, and I used to think like ‘ew I hope she doesn’t have a crush on him that would make this a lot less meaningful’

But I’ve only just realised (cos im really flipping slow) that her face there was her thinking about how far they’ve come, how he’s becoming a better person, that he’s gonna start turning into the person he appeared to be when they all first met him: a kind, open-minded guy who’s willing to give everyone a chance at love.

Main Thought #4: Anne and Phillip 

“You’ve never had someone look at you the way your parents looked at me” 

I used to think, in rewrite the stars, that Anne is being stupid and hopeless because obviously there’s hope what are you talking about? But I’ve only now realised (cos it took me way too long to become a more open person, and to understand that, hey, sometimes people hate other people, and, hey, racism exists) that her reality, every single freaking day, is terrible comments, people staring, people whispering that she shouldn’t exist, and even after finding a home in these people, there are still the comments, there are still the stares, there are still the whispers. The terrible people will always exist, and there’s no hope trying because she’ll always be hated. Her hands are tied, she can’t change anything in anyone, no matter how much she feels like she might belong.

But Phillip is sure that they can rewrite the stars, that they can change things, if only they’re brave enough. They could leave the room, hand in hand, and there’ll be comments, there’ll be staring, there’ll be whispers. But they’ll go through it together, they won’t stop their love for anyone or anything.

And then Phillip is in hospital. He’s dying. And the moment he wakes up, the moment she knows he’s safe, they kiss. Right there in the hospital, in front of so many people. Because she’s realised that life is too short, too precious, to let it go to waste. They shouldn’t be ashamed of their love, shouldn’t hide it, because either of them could be gone at any given moment, so they might as well shout their love to the freaking heavens.

Main Thought #5: idk what to title this one but it’s short

IT’S SO MEANINGFUL THE WAY THEY HUG (at least at first) INSTEAD OF KISS AT THE END OF THE MOVIE

I love it when couples don’t kiss after making up from a fight. Like you don’t need to display romantic affection. You can just show that you’re there for each other, that you’re sorry, that you love them and you’re gonna try to be better in the future. And that can be communicated with a big long comfortable hug, it can be communicated with your eyes, it can be communicated verbally. I’ve always thought that it’s so much more meaningful when couples don’t kiss after something important for their relationship happens. Somehow it’s so much more personal to be vulnerable with each other, to hug or look into each other’s eyes or to talk or anything else, instead of kissing.  

Random Thoughts That Aren’t Important At All But I Felt Like Sharing Them: 

THIS ENTIRE SOUNDTRACK IS SO BEAUTIFUL 

All the songs are so freaking good. And yeah, This Is Me is a good song, and I like the song. But it’s so overplayed and the rest of the songs in the soundtrack don’t get nearly as much love and respect and appreciation even though every single song is basically perfection 

JENNY IS SO TALENTED HOW 

i am in love with this entire cast 

THE DOPAMINE LEVELS FROM WATCHING THIS MOVIE ARE FREAKING INSANE 

with every single song that came on i said out loud to my family “this is objectively the best song” because they’re all such freaking good songs 

THIS MOVIE IS SO FREAKING GOOD I LOVE IT 

#idk if you can tell but i might hate barnum just a little bit #every single character is perfect and has no flaws except for barnum #(im so mad that my brain is telling me to cut him some slack cos he's a traumatised orphan who had to only care for himself in order to #survive and while that obviously had a huge impact on him he still couldve become a better person a whole lot earlier. #survive. and while that obviously had a huge impact on him and his life he still couldve become a better person a whole lot earlier. #but also i dont think they had therapists or anything like that and even if they did he probably wouldnt have been able to afford it. #why is empathy a thing. why cant i just hate people simply.) #also barnum sucked in the movie but he was even worse in real life #but we're gonna ignore that rn cos we're talking about the movie here #the greatest showman #disney #pt barnum #this is me #zac efron #hugh jackman #zendaya #philip carlyle #what else do i tag this as? #overanalysis? #musical movies #the greatest showman disney

[pommunist]

i really hope i dont sound rude or anything, but it's come to a point seeing some of the statements that i cant really. empathize with parts of the stories of some of the ex-admins? it's upsetting, cause no one deserves worplace abuse and the things that they endure but like...

part of my brain cant shake off the knowing that most if not all of these admins who left had the means to stay unpaid for months. i dont know if i explain myself? i couldnt FATHOM spending even one month on a project that's not gonna be payed, let alone staying on it even logner after not getting paid on the day i was told i would

not because im some smart and strong person or something: i simply cant afford it. i cant go one month without being paid because i would go homeless, i couldnt dedicate entire days of my week to anything if it wasnt going to be paid because i wouldnt be able to eat, or pay my bills.

and these are all young people who absolutely deserve better, and who did not deserve to be exploited on the workplace but that. idk. could go months, one of them even a year without getting paid, and yes feeling the stress and the exploitation and all that it's BAD, but my brain just cant help but go "and yet they could afford to stay unpayed" and i genuinely hate it but idk.....

anyways i have no idea why im sending this i just had to vent it somewhere and you're ltierally one of the only people who i've seen be welcoming of points of view other than your own about this theme

hey anon !

First i wanna say that i get how it can be difficult to empathise when you’re yourself in a « work and get paid or starve » situation. (Been there done that so when I say I get you I really do)

And I think it’s fine to feel like that, we all have our own biases that come from our experience and living conditions. It’s fine, it’s just that it’s important not to let it completely cloud our judgement on the matter, it’s a serious enough situation for it to be way past a simple empathy check. Our personal feelings don’t really weigh on this situation as it’s far beyond that.

Because facts are that even if some of them were able to go through all this without payment (bc they had some money already, another job, lived with their parents whatever) it still remains that young people were being promised a pay they never got, got baited by the opportunity to make a living doing something they loved, working for something they were passionate about, or some just had to take the low pay because that was still better than no pay at all.

And people being in situation like yours are one of the reasons it’s so important for people to denounce poor working conditions and fight for workers rights. Because if you don’t, nothing will change and there will always be someone who’s more desperate for the job, who needs the money more, who will have to endure an underpaid, shitty job in place of someone who was "lucky" enough to be able to walk out.

#dw anon u were not being rude #idk if half of my sentences here make any sense it’s still too early for good english to have kicked in

[saintship]

I was wondering if you could do, either a hc list with the 141 or a fic, with them seeing your sh scars? it could be either platonic or romantic, your choice, and you can take whatever creative liberties you want! love your writings and keep up the good work! ♥️

Thank you for the ask! These ended up being romantic :)

I decided on a good ol’ headcanon list to make sure each of our boys got some love, I’ve had some not so great reactions in my personal experience so I’m glad to provide something a lot better for someone else

Tw: discussion of self harm under the cut

Ghost 💀

- Feels deeply but struggles to express it; so much is happening in his mind he may shut down for a minute

- I would suspect him of some form of self harm at some point in his life, likely not during the time we see him in game but the years following his family’s death were dark

- Doesn’t try to pull the “I know exactly what you’re going through”, but he may let slip that he’s been in a similar position and that’s why he feels such a deep empathy for you

- His favorite way to show support is simply sitting with you in a shared space; he’ll hold you if you ask but is also content just being together, as he values the time he has with people greatly

- The least likely to have a large outwardly emotional reaction

Soap 🧼

- Concerned about the cause of this way of coping (depending on how recent the scars/healing wounds are)

- Smarter than he lets on; notices small patterns that point to the hiding of scars, but waits until you either bring it up or slip up and have scars exposed around him

- If he knows it’s very recent (spotting blood, bandages, etc) you can see in his face how upset it makes him, he hates to see you hurt in the first place but the self infliction just stabs his heart all over again

- Tries his hardest to not make you feel guilty, but can’t hide how sad he is to see it

- Wraps you in his arms, takes you to bed and holds you as close as you’ll let him

- Holding you from behind makes him feel like he can protect you

Gaz 🧢

- Cant stop from running his mouth, ‘I’m so sorry’ ‘is there anything I can do’ ‘you’re still the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen’ ‘please don’t cry, or I’ll start to cry’

- Accepts any form of comfort you need, a day out together, cuddling, a warm bath, just name it

- Loves to love on you, kisses and caresses everywhere

- Encourages you to take breaks

- If the time is right, he’ll make you laugh a bit to see you smile and hopefully take away a bit of the pain you’re in

Price ☕️

- Not afraid to be direct, but gentle in asking about it

- You cannot hide anything from this man, and don’t even try lying because he’ll see it before anyone else

- I have a feeling he really like doing that thing where you thread your fingers into someone’s hair and like brush them through so your hands end up holding their jaw/cheeks

- Just loves you so much and can’t watch you be in pain alone

- ‘I’m all yours tonight. Anything you’d like.’

- I wouldn’t be surprised if one of his employees was engaging in self harm of some kind and he caught them in the act, forcing him to learn a lot of very important lessons very quickly

- And since then, has a gentle, assuring approach to the topic, especially in a relationship because he loves so hard

#cod requests #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #cod mwii #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #call of duty mw2 #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick

[rimaurimau]

the whole 1975 thing pisses me off. people cant seem to comprehend that this isnt some black and white situation where its just homophobia because its so much more than that. i couldnt care less if he jacked off on stage, the problem is that he did this in a country thats incredibly queerphobic and because of that is incredibly strict on what bands can play here and what they can and cant do/say. We malaysians don't get alot od international bands as is, so bands like this and the strokes coming here of all places in our shit hole country is huge. but him saying and doing all that did this:

- cancelled the entire event because our government caught wind of it and shut it down after the first night when it was supposed to go on for 3

- probably made the rules and restrictions for bands to play here even tighter

- made other bands hesitant to play here

- maybe even tightened up the laws on queer people here in general, even more worse than they already are

- possibly put a lot of queer malaysians in general in danger because if the pigs suddenly decided to investigate the event further and question the organisers or people who attended and those people happened to be queer and they found out? theyre going straight to jail because that's how queer people are treated here by our government

yeah there are a good chunk of people here angry purely because of homophobia, that fact isnt something that can be denied or glossed over. but the most important thing here is the queer people that are gonna be put in danger. we're already consistently used as a political scape goat. but now we've finally started to take baby steps in the right direction of progress after finally electing the first pm in our history thats leftist (when in reality he's centrist at best) and now with how matty healy behaved and what he said, our governments fear of queer people have been confirmed and we might be in even more hot water. they've already discussed about making being queer a mental illness and this might give them the push to confirm everything.

what he did did nothing but do bad. we didnt need some white guy to tell us how oppressed we are, how queer people are ridiculed discriminated and abused, trust me buddy, we've lived here all our lives, we know, we dont need any white saviour telling us this.

people will scoff at countries like Malaysia because of how queerphobic it is and simply throw any empathy and kindness out the window, but people seem to forget that this queerphobia exists for a reason. the queerphobia here exists because WE exist, because WE QUEER MALAYSIANS EXIST. it doesn't just exist just because, they're hateful of us because we are here, they're hell bent on getting rid of us because we are here.

I've seen some people say "then just don't get international bands" why? why dont we get to have the opportunity to see the bands we like? why dont we get to have fun? what makes so inherintly lesser that we dont get to indulge in stuff like this like people from other countries do? we already are barred from being openly queer, is it so much to ask that we just want to have a good time by seeing bands we love? do we not deserve that just because people think our government and the shit heads here represent our entire country, acting like theres absolutely no queer communities here constantly fighting for our right to exist? is that why people think so lowly of us?

queer malaysians are now in danger and our progress have been set back 50 steps thanks to matty healys "activism". I understand that he did it in good faith, but it just came off as entitled, privileged and selfish, especially with how he handled it after the fact.

if you're here to argue or insult me on this post, dont bother, im blocking you. im not wasting my time.

#queer #lgbt #malaysia #the 1975

[golden28s]

tag game wednesday friday ! 🌻

im late again for this but anyways thank to the cool lovely people that thought of me and tagged me 💖 @mickeysgaymom @milkovichrules @guinguin1984

1. if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? someone rich just to transfer the money to my bank account and then i can go back to my body

2. whats your most trivial / dumbest hot take? I’m so sorry

uh, idk that maybe fictional characters are just fictional characters and half of the discussions about them aren't that deep but half of the time they're also representation and give visibility to something, to some people's reality and you have to treat with respect and empathy

3. if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? anything related to medieval literature

4. season 12 of shameless is suddenly happen and youve been put in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen?

ian and mickey navigating marriage and see them learning how to communicate even better, allow them to have moments for them and be romantic and cheesy and embarrassing because they couldn't be any of that during at least 10 season so they deserve that. probably try to fix lip and tami relationship or simply make them break up because they don't see to understand each other and lip needs peace and space to try to get on his feet again, try to find new goals and aspiration, a new horizon. also maybe open the conversation about ian's experience with grooming and let him heal that wound and at some point after that, and some therapy for mickey too why lie, ian and mickey having an actual and honest conversation about kids and deciding that they're ready for that.

also give debbie a real chance to try to built her own life.

5. who would be your godly parent? (can be any mythology).

idk never thought of this

6. what’s something you love about yourself?

that i cant be angry for too long, i get upset but i cant be mad for hours or days or weeks i just can't

7. describe your day in 5 emojis: 📖📚📒🎧🎶 i've been basically doing uni assignments

8. what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? lip because i probably wouldn't even have to touch him, id just say that he's wrong about something and he would be crying shaking yelling

9. tell us 2 truths and a lie, we’ll try to guess the lie!

-ive been writing poems and stories since i was 8

-i hate pickles

-im scared of darkness

10. do you have a pet(s). if so how did they get their name?

i have a cat and idk i just thought it was cool

11. show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence

12. whats your typical coffee / tea / beverage order?

I don't like coffee and i don't really drink tea but peach iced tea is so good

13 . use a song to describe the last 5 years of your life?

you're on your own kid by taylor swift, it's been a hell of a journey but i have some kind of peace now let's just say that im like mickey and change is not my thing

im late to this like i said so im just gonna tag a few people and feel free to do it or not ! and feel free to ignore too if youve been tagged already @lupeloto @juliakayyy @energievie @creepkinginc @transmickey

#gallavich #shameless #tag game fandom

[coinshotmisting]

I SWEAR TO GOD EMILY AXFORD I CANT

(Fantasy High Junior Year ep 6 spoilers)

watching fantasy high and writing this before I even continue watching cause it makes me so mad nothing after will make up for it

I get it. Emily plays low empathy characters who always act before thinking, and that's certainly a choice. it annoys me, especially how those characters constantly skirt by with comedy justifying their treatment of others, but whatever.

Honestly, part of the reason I put off watching Junior Year was Fig. I can't articulate what it is, but the way she interacts with the world forces me to have to pick between either entirely losing immersion, or feeling so deeply sick at the way she acts that I have to stop and collect myself.

I kept trying to convince myself I was overreacting but. I can't even bring myself to click back on the episode.

Context: it's the party at Fabian's house. they've decided to hate the 'Rat Grinders' because??? (it's genuinely unclear to me if this was an order the cast got off camera from Brennan/writers or what cause it seems excessive)

they find out the party got a new member over the summer. IMMEDIATE chance to recollect how you feel about them. it opens up questions that a sane person might ask with empathy or whatever.

Kristen and Fig do the creepy but understandable thing, and look up to see if the party had a previous cleric. they did. ok.

So, at this point, the pieces are all laid out, right? party had a cleric, they don't anymore. they got a new cleric over the summer.

And then, if you actually thought about it for 5 seconds: their identity is centered around low risk jobs, and we know they started with a cheerful, positive party name instead. one of the party members we *just met* got physically much stronger stronger over the summer (when the new cleric was recruited)

it's obvious right? like, I'm not insane, the implication is clear as day?

SO TELL ME

WHY

Emily's first thought is "Oh, let me disguise myself as the 'missing' party member and lurk in their peripheral vision."

I cannot articulate the reaction I had. theres no way Brennan can spin this where it's ok?!?!? like. genuinely, either you have to fundamentally hate other people or completely lack any curiosity and empathy to act that way.

just imagining this, I get so fucking pissed.

I dont care if they didn't actually die, this behavior from a PC based on what they know right now is unacceptable. im

I can't. I try to imagine someone pulling this in a game i ran, showing so little investment in the world that they what I'm doing simply doesn't matter to them, save the stat blocs I put inhetween them and 'winning'. ugh

I can't. I really can't. sorry for the long post ig but. this has always been a problem and it feels like it's the one thing from Fantasy High being a comfort piece of media for me. instead I have to wrestle with this stupid fucking character, and the ethical implications of her behavior.

#fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #figeroth faeth #im a little drunk so sorry #but oh my fucking god #AND THE THING IS #Ally Beardsly plays this so well!!!! #Kristen and Cassandra's relationship is so well done #cause its toxic and messy but Ally *understands* that #Emily Axford just blows past other characters as if they dont exist #farming their emotions for comedy instead of growth and drama

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

anon who doesnt have aspd and taught myself empathy here yet again! i am Now Thinking and remembering that a huge part of why i've never tried to go to therapy or anything is coz like i Know i'd use what i learn to like, manipule ppl better and shit. i enjoy playing w ppl Too much and coz Fun Childhood i've been good at it all my life, but cognitively i recognise its bad so it would be bad and not fair for me to go to therapy and get even better at it and manipulate ppl i love for my own fun. and like even i dont do illegal shit or even like drink alcohol or smoke coz then i can keep the moral high ground in arguments w ppl and i can say whatever i want and call em out on shit and create a fuss for them and stir the pot and they cant call me a hypocrite. like so much of what i do is about making sure i have a level of ability to manipulate and control ppl and situations. so many behaviours which arent explained by autism, idk why i've just brushed all of them aside except that i've gotten bored by overthinking abt them, and ive mostly gotten to a point where they're under control and im content w life

but back to remorse and empathy i honestly just think they're not really necessarily useful things and ppl place so much importance on "oh im such a good person i have so much empathy" but will also use their empathy/remorse to control ppl? like i know ppl w bpd who use their genuine guilt and worries and stuff to get ppl to feel sorry for them and indulge them instead of confronting and working on it. like even ppl w/o mental illness will sometimes try to use the fact they feel bad abt smth to erase their culpability instead of actually fixing their mistakes. it can be confronting for them that some ppl can be like "oh shit i made a mistake. fuck. oh well" (and sometimes fix their mistake/take responsibility) w/o remorse or other emotions to it coz i think it makes them realise their emotion doesnt absolve them

thanks to listening to me ramble!

man i feel that, im also obsessed with having the moral high ground, except i think my view of morality is the best one and everyone else is stupid. also i'm a hypocrite. i also hate hypocrites! yes this in of itself is hypocritical i am aware. do something morally reprehensible? shame on you! doesn't matter that i do the same thing with no intent to stop. its over anakin i have the moral high ground!! i have Standards and Morals and also i'm correct all the time. if i had the death note there would be no story and everything would be okay. i simply would not go mad with power and i'd only kill people who are deserving of it

also yeah i hate the empathy = morality thing i hate it so so so so much. i do think cognitive empathy is a useful tool and remorse can be useful as like, the emotions equivalent of getting spritzed with a water bottle and also you are a cat. do something shitty? feel remorse? my cuck ass is NEVER doing that again!! because remorse felt so bad the first time, why would i risk doing it Again and feeling remorse Again? its just not worth it. but then again if you get more and more used to its presence it wouldnt work all that great and also would suck balls

and i've known a dude w bpd who was like that, and ive known people with good ol fashioned Anxiety Disorder that were like that- worse, even! they thought that bc they had anxiety, they were these cutesy little waifs and anything they did could be rebutted with "but i have anxietttyyyyyy" and everyone was just expected to pity them because of it- no matter what they did! people put too high of an emphasis on emotion as the standard of morality- if you're a scared abuse victim, thats Moral and you are Pitiable, which is Good. however if you fought back, you are Immoral and you are Secretly Probably The Aggressor, which is Bad. (consequently, if you're too scared, that's Moral, however you Didn't Fight Back, which means you were acting Illogically, and Had It Coming, therefore you are Bad) which is hypocritical as fuck! ive taken responsibility w/o remorse and i've takne responsibility with remorse and remorse is Not the important part of this argument, it's emotional intelligence.

#no worries wrt the rambling!! this was interesting to do #thanku for coming to my ted talk :) to my ted talk :) #wasks

[cosmicjoke]

When Misumi was mentioned by Muraji Yashiro had this force laugh as if this was really for him. Nah, Misumi least his worries about this case. Tsunakawa's group is ready to give him money, even more if you say money is not what he's after. Doumeki doesn't owe him an explaination since he was the one who got kicked, literally. Doumeki calmly told him to back off for his safety, and again with Muraji, the least Yashiro could do is respect that and back off, let them fight their own fight. Oh, he's suicidal and want to get into the danger? That's even more selfish. his blood will be on Doumeki and Tsunakawa. You going to justify that with "he's in love with Doumeki" too?

Say whatever you like that he's in love with Doumeki (that much is already established since 4 years ago), the fact remains he kicked him out his life and out of his life Doumeki did, and now he's pulling himself to him again. Got hurt knowing he's got a "woman". WTF bro? Tsundere much?? And yeah, Doumeki did order him that, and said No. And clearly Doumeki backed off on that too—and here he is again pulling Doumeki. He got hurt when Kamiya was station to him. That's what I mean using him whenever he please. ( Oh also dont forget he sucks him off whenever he feels like and pouts if Doumeki says no. ) Yashiro said No. But keeps pulling Doumeki in? Saying he'll do after all?

Sympathy, Empathy, Compassion, throw those words to justify Yashiro's actions towards Doumeki? I get it, they cant be all rosy happy and honest after all these years and after all that happened between them, but at least give him the courtesy not to lie. Dont say anything. Dont say you dont remember. Dont say you dont care . And get scared if he hates you?

Doumeki has been honest, this rough handling is his "honesty". He was hurt of what he did to him. That's not exactly on Yashiro, but you cant deny what Yashiro did, it wasn't just a slap on a hand what he did to Doumeki. Yashiro doesn't need to wonder if Doumeki hates him, he needs to reflect on what he even did to Doumeki, not just the bullets either, cause it seems like that's his only concern.

Okay, Yashiro hater. You've got a bug up your ass about him, you can sulk in it yourself. I hate to break this to you, since you're so hell bent on shitting on him, but Yashiro is the main character of this story, not Doumeki. The focus is on him, and his struggle. You clearly don't understand anything about his character, and why he's done the things he's done. If you can't find sympathy or empathy for him, if you can't understand his motivations simply because they're not spelled out in big block letters for your dumb ass, then what the fuck are you doing reading this story? Get the fuck outta' here with your shit.

And no, Doumeki ISN'T being honest. He's hiding his feelings and sending Yashiro into a tailspin of doubt in the process. You want proof? The scene from chapter 46, I think, when Yashiro asks why Doumeki insisted on taking him home, and Doumeki lies and tells him he's just being polite. Bullshit. Yashiro had what amounted to a panic attack in that moment. You're one of these people that clearly has no grasp of the affects of trauma, or how it can impact a person and their reactions and decisions. That's hilarious, considering that's what this story is all about. Like I said, engendering compassion for people suffering from trauma. Yashiro was never trying to hurt Doumeki. He was trying to help him. He went about it in the wrong way, but his intent was never malicious, you fool, and yet you keep insisting and acting like that's exactly what it was, like he only ever wanted to make Doumeki suffer. What, is your reading comprehension level that low? Can you not read between lines at all? Is Yashiro's obvious guilt and suffering over what he did to Doumeki, his plain statement that it's understandable if Doumeki hates him now, not enough to make you understand that he feels regret over his actions? That he never meant to cause Doumeki pain? Maybe you should stick to scholastic books. They're both accountable here. They've both got good reasons for being less than truthful. You can't seem to extend the same understanding to Yashiro as you do Doumeki, and it's painfully, sickeningly obvious the reason why. You just hate Yashiro. Great. Good for you. I ask again, then, why the fuck are you reading a story ABOUT him?

I swear, you people are unbearably stupid.

Don't send me any more asks. I'm not here to listen to this shit. If you do, I'll just turn my anon asks off.

Fucking unbelievable.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly

[lolatalks1]

wed, dec 6 2023

this is my first real journal entry, and i dont think dear diary is fitting to start this. i mean its just tumblr. i started this little blog because i need somewhere to vent, and so here i am. that sounds like my pinned post but its whatever. im not sure why im typing like im talking to someone, so i think i should stop explaining myself.

ive heard its good to write out how you feel, so i think im going to do just that. (im explaining myself again)- today was at first a good day, i woke up relatively early and was able to get ready for school quicker than i do normally- which is a win in my book. i was able to lay in my bed- which i need to wash the sheets of. my dog keeps laying where i sleep, which flares up my bad acne. i cant blame him though, i practically leave my side of the bed in a perfect napping position for him. anyways- i was able to lay down and read a little of this cute story about a single mother and a man in the military being her neighbor! very cute, very cute. then my dad took me and derek around eight o' five, then we got to school, and it was super cold outside. having to stand and wait for the doors to open is not enjoyable- at least i had derek -my cousin- with me. recently ive been a little harsher with him, but i thinks its because ive been a bit on edge with everything as of late. i dont mean to ignore- i think i should start working on that. he already has a lot going on.

continuing, i went to class. first period was tame, i mean nothing too much happened. really essentially a free day. aryeana ? im not sure how to spell her name now that i realize it- but she was there talking with jacob about whatever. sometimes i feel a little outcasted when with them- but i guess thats because im not that much of a conversational person when i cant think of a topic that will be enjoyable for all of us. i mean, i like anime and overwatch- and some more things. all those things they either dont like or make fun of- so theres no middle ground for us to converse on. i mean, only thing i can talk about is boys with ary. but its more so talking about aryeana's endless snaps with multiple guys and shes boasting about it- as well as boasting about her not being able to talk to guys. she is really contradictory. i dont hate or get mad at her though, shes nice to me. and cate is there- she kinda helps me relax. shes just a very nice person and since ive known her for so long i dont feel like i have to be super fake with them.

i think- well i know- my day went downhill when my mom finally replied to my messages. i had texted her about going to cam's surprise birthday dinner on sunday night- and she said yes! but then i asked her about saturday, if i can go shopping with her. i needed to go to barnes and noble to get multiple books that several people wanted for christmas, and maybe the mall to get some other things like candles from bath and body works. but anyways- she then revealed shes not going to be here this saturday- more so this entire weekend.... fun.

i just dont understand how she can just go i mean- i know where shes going- hell the whole family does. its nothing new, but the fact its such a repetitive thing and she always did it around familial times (thanksgiving and now christmas). i really dont get, seriously. and ive come to learn that she goes to some town with a new guy each time. what happened to her being with ron? her last boyfriend- i knew of at least. my nana mentioned she didnt like him because how he treated my mom, so im guessing he was abusive or really shitty. i dont care, and i guess thats a bad thing. i see it as karma now. i use to feel bad, want to console her. but ive lost it. lost that empathy.

anyways, she just makes me so- angry. to the point i can't focus on happier aspects of things because shes simply just so intoxicating with her narcissistic behavior. shes so aware that what she does angers and breaks the family, but she cant find it in herself to realize that its bad. how? im not sure. she didnt have a horrible upbringing nor a traumatic event with my dad. so i cant find a genuine reason behind what she does. its whatever, i keep trying to myself i shouldnt care so much. but i cant help it. it affects my home life, makes me i guess more so depressed? i dont want to self diagnose though. but shes the reason behind my upset outlook for today. hell even started playing class of 2013 by mitski- the lyrics hitting a bit too close to home. so yeah. thats all for now i guess, im not sure how journalling works. i guess ill start learning.

[satorugojowidow]

i wanna talk about the main reason why some people want utahime to have a major play in the story; because of the ship with gojo (surprise?) so not only is that such a weak argument but also a weak writing of a character, it seems that people just shove aside the whole story thats revolving around satosugu and the consqeuence of their relationship that has caused. or that, gojo should move on from suguru and date utahime so he can "heal"

issue is, they would never work out, i get that some people like the appeal of opposites attract and all that but the problem is they are really opposites OPPOSITES literally, utahime is a minor character that will probably play some role later in the story but thats it, she's not there to help the main character move on from the loss of his love/best friend, and reading into the text and overanalysing their interactions and bending it into something that's not what author is trying to tell is wrong and problematic, i simply cant find any good reason why they would be a good pair. plus im not even sure that utahime truly understands gojo like geto or shoko do, they aren't friends like they are for example so, but she doesn't really need to anyways >>

they like to compare utahime to geto, but they are quite different personality vise, geto complemented gojo in everything, and gojo complemented geto, utahime is different, she likes people like shoko for example, people that aren't wild cards and that are kind a calm. and no i don't like the take that utahime truly hates gojo, hate is a really strong word but she doesn't like him either, she doesn't like spending time with him but she will honor any request he makes of her because he means well in the end, it's just that his personality the way it is, even if you're someone that likes him, you will grow tired of him nonethless, only person who accepted him fully was geto and the fact that they still yearned and missed each other for 10 years is telling. conclude here; gege already said that the only female character it made sense writing a romantic story is miwa, the rest he can't do so, perhaps he just doesn't invision these dynamics for his characters? imo this is totally fine because romance in stories is becoming generic and boring, jjk its self is devoid of such things, apart from satosugu. also it is nearing the end as he stated that 70 precent is already completed, he has some small arcs he wants to do and the rest is to conclude the story, expecting of utahime or any minor character to suddenly be shoved into the plot for no reason and give them any major power boost would be the lazies writing i have ever seen, and i will finish it here that utahime's character has more nuance than being just angry and annoyed all the time, she likes her safe space with people she's friends with, like shoko and surprise, she is a completely different person. the trope where 'if a boy is bullying you then he likes you' is so lame and becoming old and predictable that it simply doesn't work in a world of jjk, end of vent.

I feel bad for those who believe they need to move and date someone else to “heal” and I feel bad for the person who is used as a healing method. I oftenly will read some opinions on fiction and I will wonder how these people live their life? Anyways...

Utahime is indifferent to Suguru’s destiny because they weren’t friends. She could have felt some empathy when it happened but she has moved on, it is not her problem, not her concern. Shoko is a character that can share a conversation with Satoru about Suguru since she was close to both. But Utahime is so out of the picture in this matter.

Utahime doesn’t have a deep understanding of Satoru because she doesn’t care about him. She dislikes him and isn't a friend. They are allies and colleagues, she understands him in those terms, enough to be able to trust in him. And is the same for Satoru, he is not trying to have a deep understanding of her either.

Utahime’s role in the plot is related to her position as a teacher and sorcerer, not an imagined romance with Satoru. I believe we will get to see more of her, but related to jujutsu tech events.

I agree with you, about those topic I have a previous answers here, here and here

#jjk reply #jjk meta #ask adari #i will tag the characters so is more easily to find it #utahime iori

[autisticandroids]

hey so you know how you said a while back that cas doesnt really have a moc/demon dean or soulless Sam equivalent but if he did he would act the same bc hes horny and loves dean?? I agree and he would just do it WAY more unabashedly. my question is, in the version of spn where the writers are smarter AND more homophobic, how would they justify cas's actions? bc they cant use the cloak of humanity bc cas doesnt give a FUCK about humanity. so what would they do

okay the thing is that cas doesn't have a demon dean/soulless sam style arc because it wouldn't... do anything? the thing about cas is that he doesn't have inhibitions in the traditional sense. like he doesn't... feel the eyes of god or society watching him.

i had a long conversation with @pietacastiel the other day about whether cas has the capacity for "should" - and he really just... doesn't. there are two things that stand in for "should" for cas - one, "if i do this, [insert other person (usually dean but not always)] will like me," and two, "[insert person who i trust and obey] has told me to do this, and i will obey their command blindly because i am a good boy."

like, basically, number one is an essentially machiavellian calculation. he's trying to be someone that other people want around, so he makes himself useful to them or enjoyable to be around or likeable or what have you. it's entirely self-serving and probably wouldn't change if you took away his inhibitions or his empathy or his conscience or whatever.

number two is like... it's too intellectual to count as inhibitions, exactly - it's explicit rules that he has set down for himself, without internalizing. to give an example, cas knows that he's not supposed to watch porn in a room full of dudes, and he's not supposed to talk about it, but he will never understand WHY those things are true. he will just obey those commands.

in terms of other ethical behavior that cas demonstrates... the thing about cas is that he's just a nice person? he's highly empathetic, he likes to make other people happy, he likes to be friends, he's a sweetheart. he genuinely wants the best for people. he particularly wants the best for his nearest and dearest. this is what's going on when he heals babies, or decides that he's not gonna kill kelly, or sacrifices his life for dean. he is fundamentally doing what he wants. he wants dean to be alive more than he wants to not be dead, you know?

this is actually one of the things that makes cas so dangerous: empathy is fickle. if the only thing that's standing between you and murdering somebody is you liking that somebody and wanting to be their friend, you might murder them once they piss you off. or once something comes up that makes them being dead more valuable to you than you being their friend. and this is why cas is kind of a terrible person! this is why he's constantly doing war crimes. he doesn't really have a system of ethics.

now, here's the thing: cas does carry around a lot of guilt, but it's deeply ineffectual. it doesn't really change his behavior towards other people. it only really does two things: first of all, it convinces him that other people hate him and don't want him around. this intensifies his desperate need to be liked, and therefore his trying to be liked, but isn't the root of it. second of all, it makes him punish himself, stuff like trying to stay in purgatory.

now, if we did a demon dean/soulless sam situation on cas... what would that look like?

well, he would certainly lose all that guilt he's carrying around, but how would that affect his behavior? the main two effects, i think, would be to make him more confident and therefore bolder in terms of trying to be liked, and make him stop punishing himself/deciding that he deserves bad things.

the confidence boost might lead to him, say, throwing himself at dean a bit more than he does, but i don't think the change would be radical. i think it would just be kicked up a notch. but it's an issue of rational judgement more than inhibitions so i think he would stay basically the same. now, cas' judgement isn't the best, and in the context of relationships at least, if nowhere else, his guilt complex does semi-effectively combat his natural tendency towards total overconfidence, so it might have some serious effect, but i still argue it's rather a matter of degrees.

and him not punishing himself so much might lead to him doing things like getting more mad when dean treats him poorly, but not that much more, because fundamentally the reason cas doesn't get mad when dean treats him badly isn't because he thinks he deserves it - he does think that, but mostly he's just scared that if he gets mad or sets boundaries dean won't like him anymore. again, it's a matter of judgement. he's probably less scared that dean won't like him anymore if he sets boundaries because the elimination of the guilt complex makes him less convinced that everyone hates him, but the anxiety is still there - it's just less intense.

in terms of cas' other sources of ethics and inhibitions - wanting to be liked, obedience, empathy - these would be affected differently if he was like soulless sam and if he was like demon dean.

if cas lost his inhibitions the way soulless sam did... he wouldn't change that much, at least in terms of his personal relationships. he would lose his capacity for empathy, which means that he would be more likely to be a dick to randos on the street, or commit war crimes, but it wouldn't really change how he conducts his relationships, because the inhibitions he holds in relationships are intellectual, they're a matter of judgement anyhow. honestly i think he might still, for example, happily die for dean, if we're arguing that soullessness comes from a lack of empathy or conscience rather than a lack of all emotion, because his desire for dean to be alive is entirely selfish. he likes the world more with dean in it and that's that. so i think soulless cas would be more likely to be a dick behind the scenes - maybe pull some godstiel arc ass shit again - but it wouldn't necessarily change his treatment of those closest to him that much.

now, a demon dean style loss of inhibitions would look different, because demon dean's basic emotions weren't dampened - he was made more selfish and hedonistic and rebellious, and didn't care about other people. interestingly, demon dean didn't seem to lose his capacity for empathy - remember in black when he punched that guy who was abusive to that girl? he didn't do that because it was the right thing to do - he did it because it felt good, because he empathized with her situation and it gave him a rush to get her out of it. so a demonized cas' empathy is intact. but his "shoulds" - those are all out of whack. he's actively rebelling against them. obviously he would simply no longer obey the ones that are like, "follow this rule and you will never know why." but he would also stop trying to be liked. i think demon cas might in fact tell dean that he's been in love with him for years - while screaming an itemized list of every fucked up thing dean has ever done to cas in his face, and telling him to never speak to him again. hell, we've seen cas throw a temper tantrum like this before - "you're not my family, dean, i have no family" in the man who knew to much. demon cas would be like that except without it then causing him to have an immediate mental breakdown.

i would argue, however, that cas has had his own loss of inhibitions comparable to demon dean and soulless sam - crazy cas. it even follows the alliteration pattern, heh. this is because cas' inhibitions are far more in his brain than his heart, and to get rid of them you need to impair his judgement, not fuck with his feelings. like, his shoulds are entirely intellectual. i want to be liked, therefore i should do this, which will effectively cause other people to like me. i want to be a good boy for god/dean, therefore i will obey this rule they gave me. if you fuck with cas' judgement, you fuck with those inhibitions. so arguably crazy cas is cas' equivalent to demon dean and soulless sam.

anyway, to answer your question, i feel like soulless cas wouldn't necessarily need a cover, like, he might, oh, i don't know, covertly arrange more opportunities to be alone with dean or stuff like that, but he's not going to try and sleep with him because he still has most of his inhibitions in tact. demon cas they might have to admit is in love with dean and then kill, because i think demon cas would probably kiss dean and then punch him and leave. you know. and crazy cas we saw in canon.

#spn #asks #anonymous

[borat123]

NaruHina Analysis

Naruto Manga Part 1

Part 2

Kiba tries to demoralise Naruto emotionally during their fight and Hinata thinks this. We see here how Hinata has watched how everyone treated Naruto for a very long time and has very deep empathy for him. She has an in depth analysis of his character and sees the true person inside and not a monster. No one in their age group feels this much empathy and understanding for him. She admires his strength and determination, she knows he is strong. She knows the effort involved in getting up when you are despaired. She knows that better than anyone and that’s why she admires Naruto, since she before this moment, wasn’t capable of doing the same thing.

Kishimoto shows us just how well Hinata understands Naruto and whos the most empathetic for him. Everyone else is starting to notice and acknowledge him NOW. Hinata has already acknowledged him waaaaay before this. Even with his flaws she still acknowledge the great person she sees inside. This is true love.

Naruto seeks acknowledgement and is willing to do anything to achieve it. But being an abused orphan his view on love is screwed and he thinks just gaining everyones respect and admiration is enough. And how will he achieve this? Well the Hokage has the highest amount of respect, right? If he becomes Hokage then everyone is forced to acknowledge his existance at last. But what he truly wants is for someone to care for him, acknowledge his true self and love him for who he is, he seeks this because he has never felt it and he wants it. To feel wanted and loved is what he desperately seeks the only way he knows how. Hinata is what Naruto wants, Kishimoto knows this, we know this, but Naruto doesn’t know it yet.

Hinata gives Naruto some healing ointment. She wants to help him but her shyness is hard to overcome. With all her strength she manages to overpower it and holds out the healing ointment for him. Kurenai, being a matured adult and Shino’s observation capacity, inmediatly realize the true meaning behind Hinata’s gesture to Naruto. Naruto turns around to look at her immediatly when she said his name but he gets confused by her kind act. He simply cant believe that someone is nice to him.

Naruto doesn’t understand why Hinata would give this to him. Kurenai helps in the awkward situation and encourages him to take it. It’s actually quite sad that Naruto reacts in this way. It shows just how foreign kind gestures towards him are. He accepts her gift, thanks her and calls her a nice girl. When he’s on his way we see him rub his hand on his back, which is a gesture someone usually does when you’re a little embarresed, but pleased. He also has a big smile on his face. He appreciated her gift and i think that it made him start to really like her. Naruto is not one to often tell someone what he really thinks about them, because he’s afraid people will find out about his insecurities (it’s why he has his tough guy bravado) but he calls her nice and he truly ment it. This is one of the first steps of Naruto’s subconscious love for her, her kindness towards him.

Neji begins to demoralize Hinata, even before the fight has started.

Besides Neji’s hatred for her, she still sees him as a brother.

He makes a psychological analysis of Hinata. Her personality, insecurities and worries. Hinata reveals that she wants to change herself.

Look at Naruto’s reaction. He has the face of someone trying to hide his emotions (his eyes makes it seem like he doesn’t care that much) but he actually looks very serious. He knows how it feels like to want to change yourself. He is in a constant battle within himself for the same reason everyday of his life. Neji thinks that destiny cannot be changed. Both his and Hinata’s are already determined. And Hinata’s destiny says that she will always be a failure, no matter how much she tries to improve.

These words deeply affect Naruto, who sees himself reflected in Hinata. (Much like how he saw Haku as being like him, much like he’ll see Gaara as being like him, he sees part of himself in Hinata)

Neji continues to mentally attack Hinata, and we see how Naruto gets more and more angry. He cant bare to witness this situation in which he feels completly identified with Hinata.

He tries to hold in his anger that is turning so intense that some of the kyuubi features start to appear (kyuubi lips). Seeing this girl that was so kind to him (wanted to help him in the written exam and gave him some healing ointment) and that he can now see himself reflected in being treated this badly makes him so angry that he’s literally shaking and his inner demon of hate is even leaking a little. He knows he cant interfere even though he clearly wants to so he has to hold it in....

But he cant hold it in any longer and he finally explodes. He screams very loadly and tells her ”YOU CAN CHANGE, DONT LISTEN TO HIM”. He then shouts at Neji to stop decide things about people (her) and then encourage Hinata to fight back and stand up for herself, just like he would do. Hinata is mesmerised by Naruto’s sudden words of support and mentally gets herself together and thanks him for snapping out of her depressing state. One must ask themselves if Naruto was only focused on Neji, why did he directly address Hinata when he exploded ”YOU CAN”. It was Hinata he paid attention to, he saw her crying and knew she was in a similar situation as him because of Neji’s words. He also tells her to stand up for herself and fight back, he encourages her and supports her, he believes in her and he hasn’t even seen her fight yet. He’s probably the first to even support her at all actually.

When Hinata’s attitude changes we see Naruto cheer for her with much more enthusiasm and intensity.

But when Hinata’s attack fails and she gets hit by the gentle fist instead, we see how Naruto gets very shocked and sad. Naruto is shown being distraught when things seem not to be going well.

Neji tells her to forfeit, but Hinata is determined, she has adopted the same nindo as Naruto. Naruto thinks that if she gives up, it’s as if he does it too and he is admiting to all the people who call them failures they were right. He wants Hinata to prove this isn’t true. Then he sees her do just that while simultaneously using his own words. Every single day he coexist with people who considers him a failure that will never change. So when he sees Hinata adopting the same attitude as him just by his words, hes a goner. This created a huge impact on him. (Look at his face, he’s completly mesmerised by her (a common theme)).

Naruto reveals that he never knew Hinata was this incredible. He went from thinking she was shy and weird, to then being kind and nice and to know being incredible. That shows how huge an impact this was on him. I find it nice that his peers are suddenly so supportive, Lee says he sees the similarities between them and Sakura even tells him that she has always been watching him. If even their peers notice how Hinata looks at Naruto then you know it’s something special. This is when Naruto really started to notice Hinata.

Look closely at the top right picture of Naruto. You can just make out that he’s actually blushing. He probably thinks ”Why would Hinata be watching me?” But he doesn’t feel uncomfortable but rather intrigued as his emotions heightened.

Look at his reaction when she started to cough up blood. Everyone else didn’t react that much but Naruto looks on the verge of panic. His reactions are very similar to when he recognized that Haku was like him. But even more deeply.

That will be all for this part. Next part i’ll continue with the fight. Here is the previous part if you missed it.

Next part: Part 3

Part 1

#naruhina #pro naruhina #hinata #naruto

[sn0tcl0wn]

is it just me or is it really unfair how tumblr created this culture where the only way i can ask for donations is if i list all the ways im a minority, disabled, and abused first? like i shouldn't have to disclose that personal information up front to get empathy and assistance from people when i'm in need. the thought of listing my race, sexuality, gender, disabilities, and mention personal family drama when none of that is really even that relevant to the fact that i'm simply poor and in need. i could be white, cishet, come from an alright family situation, and completely abled and still be on the brink of homelessness and still be in need of help.

like it makes me legitimately uncomfortable how people list out their personal shit when all anyone needs to say is "my situation is very rough and my job can't pay to make ends meet/i can't get a job. please help if you can." it just feels exploitative to me how people are expected to list every single thing that makes things harder for people to help, especially when almost all of those things have been proven as extremely easy to lie about online.

it's hard enough for a lot of people to ask for help at all let alone ask in such a self depreciating, groveling manner. it's fucking humiliating trying to write out donation posts that are like that and i literally cant. i have one donation post that gained no traction and i feel it's partially if not mostly because i didn't do the whole oppression role call intro or share deeply personal information about my difficult homelife. that's not fucking fair at all. why should i make myself feel even worse than i already do to make it so people give a shit? like i really dont share too many donation posts solely because they're worded like that and it makes me uncomfortable as someone in a similar situation because it really does feel like they're just saying that as incentive to get people to help them in a "woe is me for i am oppressed by society" kinda way.

and i know that isn't the intent most of the time but do y'all even read the posts you write and understand how gross and honestly dangerous it is to go online and list all of your personal struggles in one massive post just for a few bucks? do you know how many predatory people that will attract? do you ever think of how that behavior will lessen the importance of donation posts for people not in your situation or simply unwilling to disclose that kind of information to the majority of people on this site? like literally i do not need to say any of that when the point of the matter is that i'm in a rough patch and need help so why is it expected of me? are you really helping because you're a good person or are you helping so you feel like a good person?

it's just really gross to me how the only way i can ask for help is by saying "i'm a mixed black/latinx, bisexual, nonbinary, autistic, adhd person who suffers from bpd, depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and my family hates me and does these horrible things to me blah blah blah *three paragraphs of my personal life later* my job doesn't pay enough and i don't want to live with my parents anymore at age 25 but i also dont want to be homeless" when deadass all that's needed is that one last sentence. like im open about all of that on my blog and even simply typing that for a hypothetical donation post was dehumanizing as fuck. like just help people to help them ffs.

[accioromione]

I think Harry and Hermione really are too much though, like Harry says her spell was brilliant (on Marietta) how do you think Ron took it?

oH MY GOSH HERE COMES ANOTHER ESSAY REASON #93943249230492304230492304 IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR THE TRIO 

OKAY I MIGHT BE YELLING BECAUSE I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS!!!! HARRY AND HERMIONE BOTH HAVE THIS ISSUE OF THE GREATER GOOD AND BEING NOBLE AND DOING WHATS RIGHT- REGARDLESS OF EMOTIONS INVLOVED. TO THEM WHATS RIGHT IS RIGHT AND WHATS WRONG IS WRONG. RON. IS. THE. ONLY. ONE. IN. THE. TRIO. THAT. TRIES. TO. REASON. THEM. OUT. OF. THIS. BEHAVIOUR.

OKAY #1 ALL OF THEM ARE BRAVE GRYFFINDORS FOR THEM BEING NOBLE IS LIKE NORMAL SO I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY HARRY AND HERMIONE SEE OTHER PEOPLE AND JUST GO “WELL IF I CAN DO IT WHY CAN’T THEY???” LOOK AT HARRY... HE GETS SO MAD WHEN HE GETS QUESTIONED ABOUT TRYING TO SAVE SIRIUS... LIKE HOW CAN OTHER PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND THIS IS WHAT MUST BE DONE? HOW DARE THEY QUESTION?! 

WHEN PEOPLE DO WRONG IT IS THE WORST THING FOR HARRY AND HERMIONE BECAUSE THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THE OTHER FACTORS. LOOK AT RITA SKEETER. HARRY IS LIKE FUCK YES HERMIONE YOU TRAP HER AS A BEETLE. WHERE AS RON IS LIKE ‘OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT DO THAT’ RON HAS LIMITS.... LIKE HE JUST KNOWS WHEN LINES ARE CROSSED. HARRY AND HERMIONE CROSS THOSE LINES ALL THE TIME. WITH RITA RON IS LIKE HERMIONE THIS IS CRAZY. 

RON HAS THE BEST MORAL CODE OUT OF THE TRIO. HERMIONE IS VERY LEGAL BY THE LAW CODE. LIKE WHAT’S RIGHT IS RIGHT AND WHATS WRONG IS WRONG SO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES. HARRY IS THE SAME WAY. WITH RON - HE UNDERSTANDS THE DYNAMICS OF IT. LIKE WHERE THE LIMITS ARE. 100% HE WAS LIKE HERMIONE YOU WENT TOO FAR WITH MARIETTA... CALLING HERMIONE OUT ON THIS CHARACTERISTIC SHE HAS IS WHAT LEADS TO A LOT OF THEIR FIGHTS!!! 

EVEN WHEN LAVENDERS BUNNY DIES HE’S LIKE HERMIONE DOES NOT PUT HERSELF INTO OTHER PEOPLES SHOES, HARRY DOES NOT DO THIS EITHER, FOR THEM ITS LIKE ‘WELL IF I KNOW THIS OR I FEEL THIS WHY CANT OTHER PEOPLE?’ TAKE FOR INSTANCE WHEN HERMIONE EXPLAINS THINGS, SHE ACTS ANNOYED AS IF ‘HOW COULD YOU ALL NOT KNOW THIS WHEN I DO’ BOTH OF THEM LACK EMPATHY AND RON IS THE MOST EMPATHETIC IT MAKES ME SO SAD BECAUSE RON REALLY TRIES TO LIKE REASON WITH THE BOTH OF THEM AND BOTH OF THEM GET SOOOOO DEFENSIVE LIKE FOR INSTANCE IN OOTP HERMIONE HAS NO PROBLEM BEING LIKE ‘STOP THINKING WE’RE ATTACKING YOU HARRY’ SHE HAS NO PROBLEM JUST SAYIGN IT WHERE AS RON LOOKS GUILTY, HE FEELS FOR HARRY AND HIS FEELINGS, WHEN HARRY IS DOWN HERMIONE KEEPS IT GOING ON WITH HIM SHE DOESN’T CARE BUT RON IS LIKE LEAVE HIM ALONE. 

RON NEVER GOT THIS EVER THE ONLY TIME HE EVER GOT EMPATHY WAS WHEN HARRY DIDN’T TALK ABOUT THE SLUG CLUB WITH HIM, THIS WAS SOMETHING HERMIONE COULDN’T EVEN DO. THIS IS WHY BOTH HARRY AND HERMIONE NEED SOMEONE LIKE RON. SEE AFTER BEING FRIENDS WITH RON WE SEE HARRY START TO DEVELOP A BIT OF EMPATHY. BUT YEAH THIS IS WHY I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY RON IS AN ARSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE TRIO WHO LIKE UNDERSTOOD PEOPLE HAD DIFFERENT SITUATIONS AND THAT IT’S NOT SIMPLY EVIL OR GOOD. THAT’S WHY DARK!RON MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE HE WOULD BE THE LAST ONE IN THE TRIO TO BECOME DARK

[buck-nialled]

Two Million Minutes - N. Horan Imagine

NOTE: this is super angsty and sad as hell and yeah some of yall might cry but YOU CANT HATE ME BECAUSE I WARNED YOU!!

but you’re probably gonna hate me a lot okay enjoy !!!

PLAYLIST

The cold plastic she had been forced to sit in for the past two hours did everything but aid Veronica’s posture. Her figure was hunched over, hands covering her face as she deposited heavy breaths onto her quaky palms. In hindsight: pajama pants and one of her boyfriend’s old shirts might not have been the most appropriate choice to attend the emergency room the night before Christmas Eve. But that thought could not have been further from Veronica’s mind. In fact, all her mind had been doing for the past one hundred and seventeen minutes consisted of screaming her boyfriend’s name to the point where a migraine formed.

“Ma’am?” Veronica’s head snapped up, eyes watery and completely bugged out. A nurse stood inches away, gracing a sympathetic smile. Her heart quickened in its pace. “Did you want anything to drink? Water, or coffee?” The woman offered with a raise of her brows. Veronica never refused a free coffee, but her still trembling hands clasped themselves together, along with her lips as she declined with a head shake.

“Do you have any hot chocolate?” Solemnly, the white-uniformed woman shook her head back and forth.

“Unfortunately, we are out. Would you like a blanket?”

“Please.” The nurse scurried off in an instant, fulfilling herself with another activity. Veronica could not blame her. She—save for the two other strangers in the waiting room—had been the only visitors to enter tonight. If she could, Veronica would be doing just about anything to occupy her thoughts with something other than worst-case scenarios.

“Veronica?” She heard a deep, slurred voice call out. The woman’s head turned to the left, along with the two other occupants, to find one of hers and Niall’s closest friends standing with a slight sway.

“Jake?” Her voice cracked hopelessly as she stood herself up from the chair and waited for his figure to approach. There was a slight stupor in his steps to her, but his embrace when he finally wrapped his arms around Veronica was comforting, nonetheless.

“Hey, any word?” Veronica only shakes her head as she releases a shaky breath.

“They won’t tell me anything…I don’t even know what happened.” She whimpers, glancing back towards the front desk, whom she must have walked up to a dozen times, pleading to see Niall.

“I’m sure when the others get here they can explain. We all got jumbled up between the six and seventh pub and I wasn’t with him.” Jake simply shrugs, just as clueless as she was. Turning her back towards him at the sound of footsteps pattering, she spots the nurse from earlier. Her arm was stretched out, proffering a blanket. Veronica only gives her a silent nod as a thank you, before cloaking her shoulders with the itchy material.

Jake sighs at the sight of tremors running through her, despite the blanket. “Here, those things are like fucking paper. Don’t do shit.” He murmurs and peels off his jacket—one of the many layers he bundled up in before his night out with Niall and the rest of their mates.

“Take it.” He insists. And she does. As the minutes go by, more familiar faces pile into the room and greet her and Jake with sympathetic smiles and any hazy information she could pry from them. From what Veronica gathered from the slurs, a group of friends had collectively encouraged Niall to hop up on one of the pub’s tables and do a little jig. Nobody had ill intent by doing so, obviously, and everybody knew Niall was not idiotic enough to do something he felt was risky. Nobody knew the night would end with only seven pubs and an emergency room visit.

Maura was the first woman Veronica had seen and recognized that night. Their expressions were both identical; fearful eyes, trembling lips. The womens’  hearts were racing in sync as they collapsed into one another’s arms, trying their absolute hardest to hold in their sobs.

“Who is here for Niall Horan?” A group of nearly twenty people stood, including herself and Maura, attentive and silent. The doctor gazed upon the now crowded waiting area and blew out a breath.

“Okay, I know all of you are eager to see him. But I think the immediate family should come into the room first. Too many people might overwhelm him.” Maura, Bobby, and Greg all took quickened steps towards the doctor, explaining their relation. When Veronica asked Maura moments ago, she explained Denise was watching Theo back at their house, phone on hand for any updates.

“Alright, follow m—”

“Wait.” Maura cut in. “Could she come too?” Maura jutted her thumb back to point at Veronica. The doctor followed her pointed finger and met eyes with her.

“Relation?”

“I’m his girlfriend, but—” As she was about to justify herself with the fact that she was Niall’s emergency contact, the doctor cut her off.

“I’m sorry. Immediate family only.” He refuted. Maura glanced back at her, eyes swimming with empathy at her restless state.

“It’s okay. I’ll be okay.” I should have gone with cousin, she thought.

“…vitals are stable, everything looks fine. He just took a hard hit.” Breaths of relief are exhaled when Niall’s eyes flutter open. He recognizes his mother almost immediately, as she exclaims at the sight of her son finally awake and unscathed.

“Oh, my Niall!” She cries upon wrapping her arms around him. Startled to see he is most definitely not on his tour bus, he reciprocates the delicate hug. “We were so worried about you.” It might have been the fact that his mind was still foggy from his long sleep, or that he felt quite hungover that made his mother seem more aged than she was over Skype only weeks ago.

“Mum, what happened t’ me?” His eyes meet the doctors as he asks this.

“You took quite the fall tonight, Niall. Luckily your vitals are fine and you seem perfectly healthy.” Niall blinks, eyebrows furrowing to exactly how and where he could have fallen. The last thing he recalls was being on stage with the band, performing. He was only supposed to be off of the stage for five minutes.

“How long was I out for?”

“Only about two and a half hours, which is quite average for a concussion.”

“How’d you all get here so fast? Chicago is miles away from Mullingar.” Niall murmured, reaching a hand up to scrub at his face. He was surprised to feel stubble scratching at his palm and brought the hand away from his face to study it. His eyes travel down to his wrist, the plastic, hospital band reading Mullingar Medical.

“Chicago?” Bobby repeated, just as confused. “Son, you’ve been here in Mullingar for the past week…when were you in Chicago?”

“I was…the band and I were just there playing a show. Are they here? Maybe we can ask Harry and he can explain.” The three Horans and Niall’s doctor all tilted their heads like dogs to his statement.

“Doctor?” The door opens, the nurse peeking her head through the opening. “Could I have a word with you for a moment?” The doctor gives a firm nod and turns back to the patient and his family.

“Excuse me for a minute.” The doctor exits the room to speak with the nurse, while Maura, Bobby, and Greg all stood dumbstruck.

“So you were playing a show with…Harry?”

“Mhm,” Niall confirms. “And Liam, and Louis,” he continues. Biting her lip, Maura begins to feel wary.

“Oh, and Zayn!” He finishes with a small smile, while Maura feels as though she was going to cry again. Bobby already senses her discomfort and wraps his arms around her.

“And that’s the last thing you remember? Like the very last thing before you woke up?”

“Yeah…why?” As he asks this, Niall takes in Greg’s appearance also. He looks more burdened with life than Niall remembers. The circles under his eyes looked darker. But he had a more mature way of dressing. Maybe it’s the two-year-old that’s changed him.

“Could I see all of you out here?” The doctor opens the door, staring at the family in urgency. Sharing apprehensive glances, the three all follow the doctor into the hallway.

“It seems that some test results were mixed up with Niall and another patient. Now, for the most part, everything is fine, except for his PET scan.” The doctor holds up a photo for Niall’s parents and brother to inspect. The majority of the x-ray was black and white, however, the brain held arbitrary splotches of red throughout it.

“This is the scan we took of Niall’s brain when he entered the hospital. We filtered the scan to only see the areas where his brain might have been injured and susceptible to amnestic syndrome…amnesia. Those red spots are where the injury occurred. And a lot of where Niall was injured were parts of the brain which function memory.”

“I’m sure this goes without saying, but from your expressions in the room, it seems Niall has forgotten an extensive amount of time. I’m not sure how much—“ Maura had already done the math in her head.

“Five years.” She breathed out. The men all looked to her. “At least.”

“Right. Well, there is a chance Niall might regain some pieces of his memory back within this next week. After that, the chances he might remember grow slimmer as the weeks go by. It all depends on how well his brain can function independently and if his memory transitions into something short-term…”

All while the family nodded their heads in understanding, Veronica stood feet away shaking her own. Warm tears streaked down her face. Five years? How could five years of him, her, them, be gone?

Hell, Veronica still thinks meeting him was yesterday. But luckily she could remember it had been nearly four years ago. In one hundred and seventeen agonizing minutes, her boyfriend had managed to lose more than two million.

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[uwuowotf2waslife]

Do you have one with crippling depression yet? Like they stop eating, stop moving, always nearing tears but bottles them up, becomes emotionally numb, not really finding the joy in life in anyway? There’s nothing physical that caused it, it’s just isolation, loneliness, or guilty memories catching up with you. I’m uh, not doing so good right now and your writing is a really good pick-me-up. Can you write it? Please? It’s fine if it’s too triggering, I can understand. Have a good day, or night.

My inbox is always open my dude, and im more than thankfull for your words

(this will be about a merc and a S/O, hmu if you meant about team dynamics)

You are poetry, 

stay safe & hydratated

tw: depression

Scout: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ not the most emotional mature of the mercs; even himself admits that he is pretty immature even for his age (early 20s), but this doesn’t means he doesn’t have empathy or that he doesn’t care about his S/O. He sees you suffering and he is big time worried. He tries to motivate you, drag you out of your bed and do something fun or at least go and buy some food. He will get annoying but he can’t just sit there and watch you rot. He is a hands-on guy, he might not understand why you are acting up like this, but at the same time he doesnt know how he can approach you. He will try to hug you tighter and bring you food and water, his shoulders can be a pillow for you to cry all day and night long and his hands are there to wipe off the tears from your face. He hates seeing his bby sad and would give half his Tom Jones memorabilia for you to wake up one day and be your old, happier self ♥

Soldier: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ although his social skills are in scarcity, he isnt a traitor. He sees his S/O down ( mentally) and it pains him to an unimaginable extent  to see you so unmotivated . He doesn't understand why are you sad, what has happened? Did that crazy Kraut touched you? who he needs to snap the neck? He hates seeing you like this. Will be stubborn, just because he doesnt understand something it doesnt mean he can't find a way around. In the end, he will push you enough to actually break down and explain everything that has happened. For the first time in years hes just silent, he broke the dam and he is beyond ashamed of making you break down like this. He doesn't what to do so for now he will hold you as tight as he can and promise in America and whatever is holy and pure in him that he will help you untill you are again okay. ♥

Pyro: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ they know that you are sadder than before and they can see you points of view. They themselves know that life sometimes just sucks and that its okay not to want to eat or leave your bed. But they are also afraid that whatever is plaguing you it will become worse and worse and they really don’t want to see you hurting yourself like they once did. They try helping you do simple things, drink a glass of water, play a bit with their stuffed animals, theyll help you brush your hair or wash your face. They know they baby you, but they think you need a bit more of some more smootches or cuddles. If they see you worsening or being even less active they will drag you their pillowfort and just try to keep you as close them while chanting sweet nothings and sad mumbles, please don’t loose yourself like they did. ♥

Engie: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ he might be a cruel, cold man when hes on the field, but in reallity he is the cinnamon roll meme( he is a cinnamon roll and he might kill you tho but he is mostly a cinammon roll). He knows also that work and his projects take a really big amount of his time so he already feels very guilty. I doubt he has any humanitarian doctorates, but he has an above average understanding of human psychology; whats the point of trying  to emulate life when you cant understand it?He knows he can't address it straightforward, but he needs to get you over this slump before you do something really stupid. Que him cleaning up his workshop and carrying you there bridal style. He has a small nest of pillows and blankets and right next to it his trusted guitar.You have the whole night and the day after to spend it together and get in the bottom of the barrel. Itll be hectic but he is a very patient man and loves ya to bits ♥

Demo: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ lowkey one of the mercs with the most expierence with depression/ depressive episodes. For once in his life he doesnt drink and tries to find the rute of the problem, if there is of course or its just pent up anger and frustation with things that have happened in your life now or in the present. In simple, you will talk. For hours if needed. He wont drink a sip becausehe doesnt want to forget even the stupidest detail from your venting. In the end, he will offer you to drink but he will drag you out of the base/ house and make you sit in the front porch/ garden  while he has set up some “ festive” fireworks ( just some small ones that erupt and turn into hearts) . He isnt the ideal psychological perfection, but if you chosed the scottish cyclops for your mate, then he shall go to the man and back just to see you smile one more time. ♥

Heavy: ˜”*°•.˜”*°• he has seen depression and has experienced it himself. It was way too traumatic for a young man to have to support a family without a father figure around. I highly headcanon him to have deppresion hence the sandwich, hes bingining while staying in the battlefield. He doesnt care about the language barrier, in order for the both of you to be as close as you are know, it means you understand eachother to a satysfying extent. He will cook you a very hearty meal and bring it to your bed with a tray and sweet tea. You can eat in silence with him simply staying by your side and rub your back, words can’t potray how he feels right now. Once you finished hell put the dishes outside and simply cuddle you ( being the least cuddly of the mercs, it means a lot). You can nap, cry, trace patterns on his sculp anything really. All his life the main cause of depression was the anarchy surrounding his life, he needs you to feel protected. He doesn’tcare how much time it will take, but he will rip the mountains apart to seeyou smile out of genuine happiness, might even cry if he is the cause. •°*”˜.•°*”˜

Medic: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ the most medically, again qualified from the group. so he has at least that covered. He isn’t stupid, you show clear signs of cronic clinical depression ( also known as manic depression) and although it has been a long while before finding a patient to lobotomize, hed be damned if he ever butchered you up like that. He is a healer, even if enjoys his enemies to hurt a little more than they should, and a healer is here to help both the body and the mind. Will persuade you into getting under medication, even if he knows theyll have little to no effecthe just hopes the placebo effect will motivate you. He tries to mix your routine with his, ex. he wakes up really early when you finnaly after hours of insomnia fell asleep, hell tuck you in and kiss your forehead. Throughout the day hell send Scout or Heavy to bring you food or water or your medications. Pyro will be by your doorstep or you side, to keep you company during the day. At night he will carry you to the medbay and do all the talking for you if you dont feel like talking, he will listen to all of your venting. Lowkey will sit you on his lap so he can rub your back and let you cry/ just sit there, to feel his heardbeat on your face and relax. ♥

Sniper: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥    𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵. 𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘈𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 , 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 , 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥. 𝘏𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳, 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤 ( 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴), 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘚/𝘖 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵( 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘴 , 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 0/10 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥) 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘶𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘸. ♥

Spy: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥     actually he isn’t that mentally mature as much as he strives to be. He has very unhealthy copying mechanisms, he fucks and smokes his torments away, but he also knows different people have different copying mechanism and he cant judge how people seek comfort. He doesnt know how to help yo, he really does but he doesnt know. He is nervous but he will probably suggest you two take a vacation away, together. He has planned it all fancy and nice, and pretty much has scanned the whole place/ area/resort you are staying and having “ friends” around. He doesnt care if you just stay all day in the resorts pool and just chill around drinking pina coladas. In the middle of your vacations, he will take you to a more secluded area and will open up about his issues , not about your relationship but about him as a person. He has many issues and he is a very difficult person to be around, so you haveto know he will never judge you. But he also doesnt know how to help you. This will make you hug him and you two can finnaly have a good, well-earned cry. Kiss him on the nose or on his head and tell him how much all this means to you and he will cry you a river and hold you till the dayhe dies, how can someone so late in his life means so, just so damn much? ♥  

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 imagines #mental health #comfort #tf2 headcanons