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#why do I always get SO carried away I hate myself
autisticlee · 1 year
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it always pisses me off when people start ghosting me and completely cut me off and think i'm annoying because I didn't ~get the hint~ all because they're too much of a coward to be straightforward and honest with me!!!!
i'll keep asking about a thing or when we are hanging out or try to converse with them, because their response is always excuses and not straight up "no" so how am I supposed to know?! either short responses of 1-5 words that I can't really respond to or things like "I'm busy this weekend/I'm too tired today/I forgot about it/we can try next time/I'll get back to you and le you know" are apparently all hints and lies to hide the truth. what they really mean when they tell me this is "no, stop asking. stop talking to me. I do not want to hang out with you or talk to you anymore"
why can't you just say that?! it will save you the annoyance of me asking you 20 times because i took your words at face value. your excuses sound temporary and you didn't get back to me so maybe you forgot. there are rare times people say these things and it's the truth or they really did forget!!!! when I say it, it's the truth. I also have a bad memory. you can't just suddenly ghost me for that! it's on you if you aren't being honest with me. it's up to you to be straightforward and tell the truth so you don't waste both our time. (what's worse is this is usually one of the first things I tell people when we meet. that I need then to be straightforward and honest. they promise they will but that's also a lie)
ghosting is so cruel (when the other person has no bad intentions/isnt causing harm). more cruel than telling me to my face you hate me and never want to speak again! i actually prefer that, so i at least know and can give up on your useless ass and stop wasting my time. don't give me false hope when i'm really excited to be friends and hang out, don't waste my time and energy and efforts, and don't lead me on with lies only to crush my entire soul when I find the truth much later. just say it and get it over with!!!! it's your fault if I annoy you by "not taking the hint" because there was no hint, lying isn't a hint. spill the truth and don't blame me for it!!!!!!
this is why i've given up with people and now only give attention to the ones who contact me first every time continuously, and I put little effort into anything anymore. I know that will end up making some people give up on me by thinking i dont care. but I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on the people who put no effort into me. you must prove yourself and keep doing it or I won't try at all. the people who ghost me and hurt me are to blame. yes, I live a very lonely existence with maybe one friend I talk to once every week or two for a total of 5 minutes at most. yes I wish I had more connections or closer ones. but i'm SO FUCKING TIRED. i'm tired of trying so much and so hard just for people to shit on my efforts and disrespect my needs and boundaries!!!!!!
why should I keep trying when it always ends bad and adds yet another layer to my trauma.
#it happens every time!!!!!!!! i dont havw the spoons amd energy to keep giving these people every piece of me. theres nothing left!!!!!#people always tell me keep trying dont give up dont cut yourself off from everyone etc#but everyone cuts ME off so wtf am i supposed to do????? keep wasting energy and brain power just to let them keep doing it?!#its like if you spend a year carefully crafting a custom blanket for someone. putting in all your love and time and energy. give it to them#AND THEY SER IT ON FIRE AND WALK AWAY. NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING HOW HARD YOU WORKED OR ANYTHING#that's what its like every time i try with people. it's a waste and i never get anything good out of it 😭#so why would it be wrong to protect myself by taking the part of the cold and unresponsive one for once? act like them instead?#no try or give someone much attention until they do like i always did and put in a ton of effort and keep it going?#if someone tries as hard as i always did then they must be good and worthy of keeping around and putting some effort into myself right?#ugh idk. i hate all of this and humans arent good at being good friends and im tired of trying to be one too#perhaps me not trying will make people think i dont care about them so they give up still anyway. well oh well#that means they didnt try gard enough and would have given up anyway. if i dont get attached or care much first then it hurts less#i know everyone tries to make me feel better by saying stuff like the right ones exist and my people are out there or whatever#but i will not believe it until i see it. because it's possible that is not true. it's possible i'll never have real/close friends#what then????? what do i do about that?? people love telling me i'll find the right people but no one steps up to try being that one#this all sounds doom and gloom but I'm just venting. in reality i just give it 3 tries.#if a person makes excuses or doesnt respond or doesnt carry the conversation 3 times on a row i will give up and it's their move.#if they dont come forward at all then we are done and i will never reach out to or speak to them again. if they want me they can prove it#lee rambles#autistic#autism#actually autistic#autism things#autistic friendship#friendship problems#loneliness#communication#cptsd#rsd#the fun thing about the cptsd and rsd combo is when people do these things i get hit with a wave if every past experience and relive it 🙃
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screampied · 4 months
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saying the safe word with sukuna? 🥹
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ SUKUNA RYŌMEN.
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⤷ tags. fem!reader, fluff + smut, safe word usage, praise, mentions of size difference. petnames: princess, little one, brat.
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instantaneously, the moment you muttered your safe word in a sweet broken, “…kuna, r-red,” and with a soft squeeze against his arm — that was the exact point where he stopped. sukuna stopped, pulling out gently to not hurt you anymore before he raises his eyebrows in pure startlement.
“red? what…uh, what happened? are you—okay?”
you could tell by his sudden change of body language, the delay in his voice, he was concerned.
you’ve never uttered out your safe word in bed before. sukuna hovers over you, and he’s maintaining eye contact, awaiting for your response.
“nono, i’m okay,” you reassured him with a awkward smile, brushing a thumb against his arm. you stared at him, taking a deep moment to think of what to say—you were embarrassed, having to stop right in the middle, but you had to. “it was good, it’s just that,” and you took your time to speak, gently rubbing your fingers against his arm. he noticed you’d always do that whenever you were anxious or nervous. “it started to hurt a little.”
sukuna grows quiet before he rasps out a low, “….princess,” and the way his tone instantly softened. as well with his eyes, he leaned in close to you—your forehead was met with a cute, awkward kiss on the forehead by him. something he doesn’t really do. “forgive me, my sweet. i’m sorry. ya know you could have told me sooner, right? i wouldn’t have gotten mad at you. you’re my baby.”
the moment his soft warm lips tapped against your forehead, you felt your heart swoon and pick up. sukuna was never one to be soft, yet with you, the ultimate exception.
“really?” you whisper out, for a strange reason, you felt tears swell up near the very crevices of your eyes—annoying, you hated how overly sensitive you could be at times. “i-i thought you’d get mad and call me weak or something.”
“absolutely not,” he huffs out, and he brings a single thumb to stroke your cheek—bright eyes going down to stare at your adorable pout. “i’d never say that.”
“but-”
“shh, i’m trying to be a good boyfriend and comfort you,” he murmurs, and he brings a kiss near the side of your mouth. “anyways, princess,” he says, pulling you from your back to sit up. “are you sure you’re okay? i’m glad you told me to stop… i know with the…the uh, size difference between us and everything, i could get a bit carried away.”
and sukuna’s so cute. just the way, he’s suddenly all timid and careful with his words — bringing an arm to scratch near the nape of his neck, awkwardly. “i feel like an idiot. you can slap me if you want. feel free to-”
“why would i slap you?” you furrow your eyebrows, and he’s taken aback once you drag him into your chest, pulling him into a big hug. “i’m fine, it was just a little sting.”
“oi, woman. not so—tight,” he croaks, being dramatic and fake choking as if you were actually suffocating him.
“sorry,” you giggle, this time you’re the one to plant a kiss on the curse’s cheek. sukuna tenses and freezes up again, cute. to think only you could make him like this made you smile. “but ‘kuna, you are a good boyfriend. the best, actually.”
his eyes linger towards you, and his gaze was still intimidating—despite the way it looks like he’s staring right into your soul.
“…think so?” and his voice softens yet again, he genuinely sounds seriously ponderous. “you don’t have to save just say that to spare my feelings, y’know. i’d never forgive myself if i hurt you, so—”
“sukuna, i’m okay.” you muttered, leaning in to give him a sneak kiss on his lips—you fluster him heavily, it’s frustrating. frustratingly endearing.
he ponders for a moment before letting off a deep relaxed sigh.
“good. good,” and you’re surprised yourself one he pulls you back into his chest, a big bear hug. his arms wrapped around you. whilst pulling you close, the two of you are just quiet for a good twenty seconds before he speaks again. “i love you, woman. ya know? and…i’m proud of you.”
“what for?” you reply, your chin softly resting against his shoulder, taking in his sweet scent.
“for using your safe word, silly,” he utters in an low, playful tone. “you’ve never used it before. ‘n i’m glad ya did.”
now you’re the one flustered, you swallow a thick lump in your throat and he’s caressing your back with a big hand, it’s soothing. “o-oh,” and then it dawned on you. “but sukuna, you—you didn’t get to finish.”
“you’re too cute for your own good,” he faces you now, teasingly and lightly bonking your forehead with the tip of his pointer finger. “don’t worry about me. i’ll live.”
“okay.” you say hesitantly. then you look up at sukuna, and he raises a brow—you look like you want to ask him something, he can read your simplistic facial expressions like a novel.
he mumbles. “spit it out, princess. what is it that you want? a massage? a head pat? a—”
“um, just a kiss.”
he chuckles. “hmpf. i figured, get over here, girl.”
you gently lean in, softly pressing your lips against sukuna, and he’s very tender with his touch—you always treasured how sukuna would treat you like a porcelain doll, whenever it came to sweet gestures as kissing.
he tilts your chin slightly upward, the simple feeling of his lips…so soft, warm and a bit hot colliding against yours.
just a bit of tongue, each lips of yours and his were parting amongst each other lightly and you let off a soft whine into his mouth. you feel the coy smirk tug against his thin lips, heavy pants of breathing mashing against each other by each individual second. the more he kisses you, the more your heart raced—you felt loved more than you ever did.
with your tongue, you map out his mouth, long lashes fluttering as he held you close, and he then cups your face.
the sweetened filled kiss last for about half a minute before you pull away, and sukuna’s all awkward again—you were the only girl in the word to take his breath away. a fact he perhaps wasn’t ready to come to terms with.
“thank you kuku,” you hum, lightly shoving him on the bed so you could rest your head against his chest.
he tenses his jaw. “kuku?”
“it’s your new nickname, so deal with it, princess.” you smile, playfully kissing near his tummy.
“oh, little one. you have some nerve,” he utters, suddenly not flustered and perturbed as he once was. the audacity for you to say his nickname he used for you. such sass, he wraps a hefty arm over you, making sure you won’t go anywhere. “now, let’s…whatever you call it, ah—”
“um, cuddle?”
“cuddle, yeah, that.”
“i love you too kuku.”
“rest, brat,” he utters in a gruff tone. it only takes you a good few minutes before you drift off to sleep and once he hears you start to snore against his chest loudly, he sighs. “i—love you more.”
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berryzxx · 12 days
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Jealousy
Summary: Your forced to spend the weekend with Azriel the bane of your existence but little do you realise he doesn't completely hate you
did i think of the title before writing the actual fic? Yes i did. ENJOY LOVELIES <3 (ignore mistakes it's midnight😭)
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I crossed my arms, wishing and hoping for my sake Rhys was playing some sort of prank and he didn't really mean I had to spend the next three days with the bane of my existence.
"It's last minute I know but you two are the ones I trust to be able to carry this out without gathering much suspicion" Rhys explained looking between the two of us. His expression was slightly apologetic when he looked toward me and it rightfully should have been. He was forcing me to spend 3 days with Azriel. The most arrogant fucking man in the whole of Prythian.
Azriel stood next to me his brows furrowed and his eyes sending daggers at Rhys "I wouldn't want y/n to tire herself out too much. I'll do the mission myself" I grit my teeth together at his words and the annoying belittling tone he used.
"I'm right fucking here. It's better if I go myself, they'll be able to spot a brooding bat from miles away" I replied not even bothering to look at the moody asshole. His wings twitched slightly but he gave no other indication that he had been affected by my words.
Rhys let out a sigh and stood up, walking around his desk and reaching for a folded parchment. "Your both going. End of story" He extended his hand and before Azriel could reach for it I all but snatched it out of Rhys's hand. Rhys looks slightly amused but Azriel didn't. He turned to me, his glare rooting me to the spot. I gave him a pleasant smile back trying to get him even more annoyed. I could hear his teeth grinding together even from the distance between us.
"Go fuck yourself" He muttered to me before storming out the room, his shadows trailing behind as if scared of their master too.
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed" I commented, opening the parchment and noting the details Rhys had written, the population of the village, the number of cabins, weapons stores etc. I looked up to see Rhys looking at me, his eyebrows raised slightly as if he found this all amusing "At least try to get along. It'll make things easier"
I let out a sigh. Rhys was right. But annoying Azriel was always so fun. "I'll think about it" I finally let out, leaving his study and going to prepare my weapons.
***
I walked around the cabin, running a finger along the book case. Not a speck of dust in sight, the magic keeping the cabin clean for any guests. There was a double bed on one side of the room, matching side tables on both sides, opposite them were two armchairs and a fireplace which was currently filled with logs as the fire danced away the cold.
Gods I hated this place. Well not the cabin. It was cosy. What I hated was the village itself. It was always so dreary and grey. Not to mention the smell of misogynistic males who thought themselves too high up to talk to a female. Fucking pricks.
I sat down on the bed and unlaced my boots, finally being able to feel my feet properly. The day had been a long and annoying one. Meeting with village heads to discuss why there was disruptions amongst the Illyrians. Making sure females were still allowed to train and their wings were kept safe. The whole lot of them were stubborn, not a word going through their thick skulls. And to add to the growing list of annoyances Azriel had been an asshole the entire day. More than usual.
Before I could think more about how draining my day had been I heard a sharp knock at my door. I readied myself. If it was that fucking Illyrian who had called me a whore I was going to give him a piece of my mind. I walked over to the front door my socks gliding across the wooden floorboards, reminding me of when me and Rhys used to ice skate on the Sidra. I opened the door my frown already in place. Good thing it was because it was Azriel darkening up my door with his gloom.
"What is it Shadowsinger? Miss me?" I crossed my arms and waited for him to say something. Common courtesy would be to invite him into the guest house but I wasn't in the mood of playing nice. He didn't look like he wanted to play nice either. His shadows were moving slowly over his wings and around his body, their colour darker than the night itself.
"I'm staying here for the night" He finally said before moving past me and into the cabin. My mouth fell open as I slammed the front door so the cold wouldn't come in. "What do you mean your staying here? Go to your own cabin..... I was here first!" I admit I sounded like a child but what was he doing here? We had made sure two guest cabins were empty before coming here.
"You were here first? Well that's fucking unfortunate" He replied sending me a glare before sitting on the edge of my bed and removing his belt containing his daggers, bending down to take off his boots too. Why was he looking at me like it was my fault?
I stomped over to him and stopped in front of him "Go to your own cabin! What are you even doing here?" I asked. Gods he was being irritating. Why wasn't he answering me with the truth instead of wasting my time?
He finally turned to look at me, having taken his boots off. His amber eyes looked deadly in this light and with his eyebrows furrowed like that I wouldn't be surprised if he was thinking of killing me on the spot "I can't go to my cabin because it doesn't fucking exist. Understand? Or do you want me to show you a visual representation?" Gods I hated it when he was sarcastic. His head was tilted slightly waiting for my reaction.
I took a deep breath and narrowed my eyes, anger would get me no where "What do you mean it doesn't exist? It was there in the morning so how has it just disappeared?"
He took a deep breath as well as if he were tired of talking to me, he ran a hand through his hair. Gods he was hot......I shook my head. Was my head screwed on straight?
"There was a fight. The cabin was....demolished during it" He explained. I raised an eyebrow "Who fought? Was it you?....Don't tell me it was you"
Azriel shrugged "It wasn't". I rolled my eyes and sat down on the edge of the bed, keeping a big enough distance between us so I wouldn't start thinking about his looks or the way his hair was so pullable or the way his lips...
"Who did you fight with? Didn't Rhys send us with orders of keeping on the down. fucking. low?"
I could see his jaw clench as he refused to look at me "It doesn't matter who I fought with. Your just going to have suck it up and share the bed"
It took me great will power to not roll my eyes again. I took another deep breath "Go back to Velaris for the night"
He turned to me his eyebrows raised as if I had mentioned something stupid "What and leave you here with all those males who would love to fuck you and then slit your throat?"
I narrowed my eyes "First of all, who do you think you are telling me I can't handle a bunch of pricks. Second of all don't you dare underestimate me. Third of all-" I moved closer to him, a grin spreading as I looked at his slightly surprised expression "-are you jealous?"
It was his turn to roll his eyes "In your dreams, sweetheart" He replied, his eyes flicking down to where our legs touched and then back up to my face. I swallowed. This wasn't where I thought this conversation would go.
Luckily, the sound of the door banging gave me the opportunity to escape his hazel eyes. I opened the door to find that same Illyrian who had called me a whore. His expression however was different this time, as if he was forced to stand here and it was taking all his energy to not walk away. His face was also different. A black eye and what seemed to be a broken nose. He was also clutching his side rather strangely...as if he had broken a rib of some sort.
"What? Here to call me a whore again? Say it again. I fucking dare you" I could feel my blood rushing around my body, my fists clenched ready to punch the shit out of this asshole but unfortunately it looked like he had learnt moral decency.
He shifted from one foot to another, his wings folding and opening again before he cleared his throat "I uh...wanted to apologise for what I said earlier"
I raised an eyebrow "You do?"
He nodded his head but I could tell he meant the complete opposite "I shouldn't have called you a whore...I'm-" He cleared his throat again before wincing in pain, his hand clutching his side again. "I'm sorry" He rushed out quickly. I crossed my arms. I was tired. If I wasn't I would have asked him to repeat it.
"Okay well I don't accept your apology, you can go fuck yourself now" I closed the door in his face, locked the door and turned to Azriel eyeing him suspiciously.
"Did you know that guy?" I asked moving over to the bathroom and stopping outside the door to wait for his answer.
Azriel shook his head from where he was sitting on the bed "Nope. Never seen him. Looked pretty messed up didn't he?"
"Hmm" I replied not knowing what to say. I had a feeling Azriel had something to do with it. I went into the bathroom, changed out of my leathers and into my night clothes before stepping out. I wished and wished and wished I hadn't packed shorts for the night. It was already so cold the fire only doing so much if I sat in front of it. While I had been in the bathroom Azriel had changed too, having already laid down on his back, his arm over his eyes. I let out a sigh "So your not going back to Velaris?"
I sat down on the bed, crossing my legs while I tied my hair back. Azriel didn't look at me "No"
I let out another sigh "And your sure there's no other cabins free?". Azriel finally looked at me his lips pressed tightly together "I don't bite"
I rolled my eyes and layed down, the lights dimmed to it being almost pitch black except the silvery moonlight coming in from the window. I pulled the blanket over me and curled up so I had as much heat as possible. Gods it was cold.
After a few minutes of me trying to sleep but failing Azriel turned to his side and faced me. He didn't even have a blanket on "Your shaking the bed" He pointed out.
"It's cold" I turned onto my other side so I didn't have to look at his piercing gaze, just his one look making butterflies erupt in my stomach.
"Your so dramatic" He muttered before I felt his arm wrap around my waist and pull me closer to him, until my back met his chest and I was engulfed in his warmth. I froze for a second not knowing what to do "Is this alright?" He whispered in my ear, his voice softer than I was used to. I bit back a smile and nodded my head, settling into his hold. This was so nice. So damn nice. I shouldn't have been enjoying it but I was. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep and I couldn't help but realise that maybe being in Azriel's arms wasn't so bad.
-> Masterlist <-
part 2?? yes? no?? idk😭
tagging: @thelov3lybookworm @riddlesb1tch @artists-ally @minnieoo
@fieldofdaisiies @thehighladywrites @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @kennedy-brooke
@claireswritingcorner @milswrites @throneofsmut @sweetorangeblossom
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mysteria157 · 3 months
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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Black Fem Reader
CW: Profanity, Light Angst, Alcohol Consumption, Explicit Sexual Content, Missionary, Cowgirl, Fingering, Fingersucking, Cunnilingus, Slight Dom Reader (not much), Car Sex, Bathroom Sex
WC: ~16k (It's long so get some snacks)
Summary: 
Maybe you're single for a reason. You’re too outspoken and mean to men, too demanding with your expectations, and you refuse to settle for less. For the ones who aren't worth the air they breathe, you chew them up and spit them out. You savor the taste so you know what to avoid the next time.
So when he looks down at you with that devilish smirk and calls you 'Princess', you're determined to prove that Toji Fushiguro is no exception.
Notes: Hello! This is my first fic with Toji and I'm nervous to get it out here. The setting of this fic and the elements I incorporated connect a lot with my own childhood and the memories (not the interactions in this fic) that I had at family cookouts and get-togethers. Reblogs, likes, or comments are always appreciated! Happy reading!
Dividers: @royallaesthetics @eloquentmoon Header: myself (stability.ai)
Masterlist | Ao3 | Twitter | **Sequel**
©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.
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“Can I get you a drink, princess?”
When you meet Toji Fushiguro for the first time, it’s on the fourth of July at your uncle’s house. It’s a big get-together at a two-story house located in the countryside. Every year he opens up his spacious home for a gathering of your extended family to bring excessive amounts of alcohol, play old school rap and R&B too loudly, devour delicious fucking food, and set off fireworks that have been collected since the beginning of the year. 
Your uncle has already made a home by the grill and taken control of the speakers after one of your younger cousins attempted to play something ‘a little too racy’ for his tastes. You’re pretty sure it was an Ice Cube song from the 90s that your uncle hates but is too proud to admit, so he lectures your cousin about ‘what young folks should be listening to’ instead. 
The smell of hamburgers and ribs has been teasing your nose for the past hour, and your hunger is borderline unbearable with each sniff. You avoid the allure of the long table of food because if you look, you’ll be three plates in before the meat is done. There’s coleslaw, baked beans, greens, and macaroni and cheese. Your favorite aunt also brought her potato salad and you know she’s going to make yellow cake with chocolate frosting fresh before the fireworks. You love it so much and you were deprived of it last year when you were called in to work at the last minute. You will get some today.
The backyard is expansive and well-maintained, and your cousins and aunts have already laid their claim on swanky cushions of the nice patio furniture. 
The one cousin you’re closest to in age and personality sits next to you on a large blanket a few yards away from the rising volume of your extended family. You were able to get a good ten minutes of conversation from her before her fiancé showed up and made a home inside of her mouth.
Your family normally has something to say about PDA—a stupid quip about acting ‘too grown’ even though you are both knocking on the door of thirty. But she doesn’t care—just like you, that’s why you like her so much even though her fiancé is sucking on her face like it’s his last day on Earth.
Shiu Kong is nice—gentle in his own way and carries himself with a bored air that seems to pull your cousin in. He’s enamored with her, practically folds in on himself when she’s around, and worships the ground she walks on. They’ve been together for a few years and you’ve never had a problem with him.
But that just might change today because he’s brought along a friend who has already ignited a flame of arousal and annoyance deep within your belly. From the moment Toji Fushiguro stepped into the backyard with Shiu, your family was transfixed. Your aunts can’t stop ogling, and your uncles and male cousins try to jokingly size him up.
“Oh honey why don’t you sit down, don’t be shy. Lemme get you something to drink.”
“That’s not steroids? It’s gotta be. Don’t play.”
“How much you bench?”
It’s annoying. So fucking annoying but you can’t help but agree. He’s a little older—maybe early thirties—but dangerously attractive.
Raven hair that reaches his ears, looks unbelievably soft and falls over emerald green eyes. A grey shirt hugs him too fucking deliciously for your comfort and dark jeans hug an ass that’s too fucking juicy. He’s a big man—a burly man and unfortunately, that’s how you like them.
Big, burly like a bear, respectful, and capable of making you feel small and protected but also valuing and worshipping you as a woman. Unfortunately, such men are hard to come by because you tend to intimidate them. You don’t tolerate disrespect in any form and quickly put men in their place if they try to undermine, belittle, or confuse protection with control. You know what you want, and you refuse to settle for less. 
They can’t stand it.
And right now, you can’t stand Toji. As he looks down at you with a well-worn smirk on his face, a smirk that suggests he has plenty of experience in situations like this, your irritation grows. He’s a smooth talker, confident in almost everything he says. His voice is deep, but melodic in a strangely feminine way that makes his words slide like silk down your back, and the minute you heard it, your thighs threatened to rub together. 
Definitely a smooth talker. But the nickname you don’t care for. 
Princess.
Like you’re a dainty little thing who will bat her eyelashes and call him Daddy. It makes your walls of self-defense rise even higher, and the gentle smile you had given Shiu when he first said hello moments ago transforms into the beginnings of a frown. 
Without hesitation, you rise to your feet, plant your wedges firm into the grass, and turn away from them before muttering, “I’m good.”
Toji simply shrugs; a gesture that annoys you even more because he doesn’t offer any other reaction that satisfies you. He settles into your previously vacated spot, leaning back on his hands. The jacket on his shoulders falls open and the sight of his shirt hugging his muscles is too much for you.
You inwardly curse as your eyes wander over his physique. Thick pectorals that you could easily rub your face against and make a pillow for yourself to sleep on stretch the fabric in a way that you’re sure it’ll rip. Abdominals tease just below the surface of his shirt that clings to him like a second skin. You want to lick between each one, press your teeth into the hard skin to make him wince and beg as you count each one.
Four, six, eight? 
Fuck.
You don’t show how you want to straighten your spine against the chill of being caught staring. That smirk is on his face again, tugging at the corner of his mouth. There’s a scar on the right side that slashes vertically over his top and bottom lip and you dislike the arousal that begins to boil between your legs from the sight. You wonder how he got it. If it was a fight, did he win? The thought of him wrestling another man to the floor and taking a cut to the face in the process shouldn’t arouse you, but god it does. 
His eyes make you think of moss as you watch them slide up your body, and it almost feels like invisible hands caressing you. They’re large and pale, littered with scars along the knuckles as they glide up your exposed chocolate legs, dip between your inner thighs, and caress the curves of your hips.
“See something you like?” 
He’s ogling you but has the nerve to try and put you on the spot? You have enough self-control to let logic worm through the rising lust inside of you. You sneer down at him, sharp enough for Shiu to visibly pale and your cousin to giggle at.
“To be honest, I don’t really see much.”
You don’t give him a chance to retort and you pretend not to hear the soft hum of nonchalance he throws back. You walk away from them, turning just in time to shield the way your eyes widen at the feel of your face and neck prickling with heat.
The moment you close the bathroom door inside your uncle’s house, the breath trapped within your lungs escapes in a rush. You press your forehead against the wood and the coolness of it offers only little relief to the burning of your skin. 
You turn your head and press your cheek against the wood so the cold surface can slide along your cheek as you open your eyes to take in your reflection.
Of course, Toji would ogle you. You’re confident enough to know your beauty.
A red sundress that hugs your curves, stops at your mid-thighs. Knotless braids with curled ends are piled on top of your head in a loose bun with a few strands that spill along your hairline.
You’re good-looking. But you’ve been out of practice with a man for a long time. Your last relationship ended when you caught him balls-deep in your coworker. You’re too shy to pursue a one-night stand and not detached enough for a situationship. 
However, you could risk it all for Toji and you hate that you’re entertaining the thought. You hate that you’re imagining him barging into the bathroom, bending you over the counter, and taking you from behind with his large hand digging into the small of your back and whispering how much of a good girl you are as you beg him to cum.
God, get yourself together.
To calm yourself down, you find solace in your uncle’s quiet kitchen. There’s only one person occupying it, your favorite aunt, who is heavily pregnant and working on the yellow cake that you’ve been thinking about all day. You use the opportunity to distract yourself and take over for her, shooing her away to relax in the backyard. 
You crack an egg against the off-white countertop, fractures splitting up the sides before spilling its contents into the silver mixing bowl in front of you. A self-deprecating thought slithers in your ears, and whispers loudly with wicked intention. 
Toji wouldn’t want a woman like you.
You’re too outspoken and mean to men, too demanding with your expectations. It pushes them all away, and although you normally take pride in keeping away those who aren’t worth your time, it can get lonely. 
To see your ex actively cheating on you was icing on a cake that was slowly cooking in an oven of your own self-doubt. You have standards, and while your friends consider you the voice of reason in their misfortunes with men, most members of your family think you’re too picky. You’re too much work, ‘you think you know everything’. 
“Men will always have a wandering eye, it’s up to you to keep them in check, girl.”
“Honey, I love you, but the more you pick apart a man, the less he will want to be around you.”
“They love it when you cook for them, girl. Take care of your man and keep him fed and you’ll keep him forever.”
Bullshit.
It’s bullshit to take care of a man in the same way his own mother does. It’s bullshit to lose all sense of self and independence, to wait on a man when he gives you less than nothing in return—when he can hardly give you the bare minimum. You don’t mind cooking for a man who takes care of you, who loves and values you, who would never hold you back and would encourage you when you can hardly encourage yourself.
But all the good ones are in relationships now, married with a few kids, and in your resolve to stay strong and weed out the bad to find the good, it’s left you a little bitter.
Most black families are old school, and yours is no exception. They hold ‘for better or worse’ a little too close to their heart. They cling to an ideal that a man runs the household down to the basics in a way that makes you uneasy and in your defense, you snap when you’re backed into a corner.
You love them, you truly do, but they probably will never understand just how aware you are of the world and how little you are willing to put up with the problematic things that others consider normal.
Your ex was great at first. But he got comfortable. And when he got comfortable, he got lazy, a little too controlling, and a little too frustrated when you asked for certain things in the bedroom. The only person who knows about your breakup is your mother, who had the gall to be out of the country for work, leaving you to fend for yourself for today. 
You watch as the batter spills on each side of your wooden spoon, parting and then falling back together like sand. In your reverie, you don’t notice a few of your relatives who have now entered the kitchen and are roaming through the fridge. You can hear one of your least favorite aunts—the bitchy one—playfully joking with someone, and whatever drivel comes out of her mouth makes that person laugh. It’s deep and suave enough to make a tingle of electricity stutter down your spine because you know it’s him.
Refusing to look in their direction, you continue mixing the batter until the lumps disappear.
“You been hiding in this kitchen for awhile now,” your aunt begins, Atlanta accent the most grating it’s ever been as she turns her gaze toward you. “You’re normally a little more talkative when your man is here. He not coming?”
There is not a trace of genuine concern in her tone. You and her bicker often; she presses your buttons and then gets mad when you press back. Your ex’s infidelity is ammunition you don’t want to give her, but being caught in a lie is something she would only treasure more to use against you later. 
You clear your throat and turn the spoon in the batter once, then twice before answering without looking her way.
“No, he actually came inside of my coworker a few weeks ago. So we split up.”
You can feel the noise before you hear it—a characteristic and sharp ‘mmm’ that seems to be ingrained in your family’s DNA. It makes your grip tighten on the wooden spoon, and you scrape along the bottom of the bowl until it screeches on the metal.
“You gotta watch out for this one, Toji. She’s always been an outspoken one. Too good for ‘em all and likes to be a little mean to her men.”
You scrape harder and then turn to her, a sickly sweet smile plastered on your face. 
“You’re right. The fact that I won’t settle for someone who will get bored with me after a few years makes me way too good for them. Should have turned the other cheek just like you did with your last husband. Or…was it the one before him?”
You catch the way Toji pulls his lips in to bite down on them, scar twitching as he fights to hold in a snicker.
Your aunt glares at you, purses her lips, and turns them to the side before pulling in a noise that has been passed down for generations. Her mother and her mother’s mother used the very same tactic to strike fear and insignificance in their children when they talked back. It’s a sucking of air between her teeth and the sound makes years of discipline from your own mother flash in your mind like you’re in the trenches of war. 
You know she wants to say something, and you can taste the ‘you always got something to say’ in the air before Toji slides from his perch against the counter and places a hand on your aunt’s shoulder.
“Let’s get you a drink, huh? Didn’t you say you wanted me to try the beer you brought in?” She throws you a knowing glare before letting Toji lead her away; because if there is one thing that will distract her from showing out, it’s letting a good-looking man touch her.
The shaking in your hands helps you sift in the dry ingredients—a mix of sugar, flour, and baking soda—into the batter. The breaths through your nostrils are heavy and thick with anger, and the corners of your eyes sting with heat. You whip the batter harder than necessary, your aunt’s words replaying in your mind like a broken record.
Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry. Don’t—
The sight of a can of hard seltzer pressing onto the counter in front of you makes the ramblings in your mind stop. Familiar long fingers unfurl from the can and slide on the counter, their fingertips touching the edges of your mixing bowl in an effort to get to you.
“I would have given you a bottle of beer. But I had a feeling you might bash it over your aunt’s head.” He’s not wrong, and in your frustrated state, you consider his defense admirable. “I like a fight, but I’m a guest and the food looks good.” 
Your grip on the spoon loosens slightly as Toji leans casually against the refrigerator, arms crossed over bulging biceps that stretch the short sleeves of his shirt. His jacket is now gone, and you can’t help but notice the veins in his forearms that protrude, tempting you to lick against them.
It takes the sheer will to tear your eyes away and focus on pouring the batter into the bundt cake mold, observing as it fills the intricate crevices. 
“So he cheated? Most men are pigs.”
“But not you, huh?” you can’t help but retort, shaking the mold to disperse the air pockets that bubble on the surface.
In your peripheral, he shrugs. “I know what I like in a woman and once I get what I want, it makes no sense to look somewhere else unless she wants me gone. I’m a man…but I’m a loyal man.”
When you meet his emerald gaze, you can see a hint of pain and vulnerability that unsettles you, tilts you back on your heels from the force of his honesty. You reach for the can of seltzer and take a long swig to give yourself time to get your thoughts in order. The carbonation is sweet and fizzles along the sides of your tongue and down your throat. 
“So what is it you like in a woman, Toji?”
It’s a question that probably should have been left untouched, but your curiosity overpowers your restraint. You don’t want to go back outside, because if your aunt is still feeling particularly petty, she will say something that will only make you leave. And you don’t feel like letting your family win today. 
Toji’s strong gaze certainly isn’t helping. Those invisible hands slide along the crevices and dips of your body, stroking the small of your back before pressing featherlight against the back of your neck. The hairs rise in response, your skin prickling with gooseflesh. 
Unexpectedly, he pushes off the refrigerator and walks closer to you, and you’re too shocked to back away. Despite his imposing stature, you know he won’t harm you. There’s something about him that’s warm and inviting, soft and tender even though his exterior is hard lines and muscle. The two of you are now mere inches apart, and the air feels thin as if you’ve reached the summit of a mountain and struggle to breathe due to the change in altitude. 
Jet black locks graze against a rough cheek, the tips kissing the raised scar on the side of his mouth. Up close you can see his features more closely. His eyes are sharp and intense with deep green between his lids as if hiding a pearl in an oyster. Thin eyebrows make him look more serious and cutting and you’re swallowing back drool because your nose picks up a faint whiff of woodsy amber emitting from his body. It smells cheap—he’s put together in the most basic sense—but it still smells…good.
“I like a woman who knows what she’s about. Independent and doesn’t fuck around. Smart and pretty with curves I can grab and squeeze. Someone with some sass and isn’t afraid to put anyone in their place.”
He steps closer and your lungs heave in a desperate attempt to pull in air. The brush of the wall against your back makes you stutter out your exhale and you press your palms flat against the cool surface to keep you grounded.
“I like a woman with nice creamy brown skin that smells a little like the cake she’s baking…” Through the sea of delirium, you distantly realize that he’s describing you. “The red dress definitely is a bonus.”
That familiar smirk pulls against his lips again and your heart is thundering in your chest. You would be surprised if he couldn’t see it thumping erratically beneath the skin between what’s exposed of your cleavage. 
But this is just another trick in their book to get you in their bed. Or in the bathroom. Or over the kitchen counter.
And as much as you want to, you can’t give in. Because you’ll hate yourself tomorrow.
So you tilt your chin up at him and narrow your eyes at his amused expression. 
“Describing me in place of your ‘ideal woman’? That’s boring. Go use it on my bitchy aunt, she’s got fillers in her ass so that’s more curves for you to ‘grab and squeeze’ when she throws herself on you after the Hennessey kicks in.”
Toji’s eyes widen slightly before a harsh laugh barks from his mouth. It’s surprisingly nice on your ears and rattles the drums inside in a way that you don’t dislike. He pulls away from you, giving you a few more inches of space and the altitude in the air seems to level out enough for you to take an inconspicuous deep breath. 
“Nah, nothing against fillers, but I’m more of a natural man myself,” he admits.
“Cellulite and stretch marks?” you ask with a lift of a brow, teasing but…mildly curious.
You watch as that smile slowly slides on his face, teeth glittering and eyebrows raising. He looks like he’s hit the jackpot. 
“The whole package, princess.”
Biting the inside of your cheek to suppress a smile, you push down the lingering arousal in your stomach, refusing to let it simmer. He’s funny and you appreciate a man who loves the raw and often overlooked intricacies of a woman.
His response is disorienting, throwing you off balance, and you’re unsure of what to do next. Your usual response is to talk back, to take delight in a man fumbling when his own cards have been turned against him. But you can’t think of anything right now. 
You move around him to place the bundt cake mold into the oven, setting a timer with the plastic buttons above the stove. Snatching the seltzer from the counter, you lean back against the oven, putting a considerable distance between the two of you to think. 
Toji mimics your movements, retreating to the fridge to relax against it, folding his arms across his chest, and god he still takes up the room. Even though you’re further away, it still seems like you can smell the cologne as if it’s sitting right on the skin below your nose.
“Do your moves always work on women?” you ask before taking a good swig of your seltzer.
He shrugs in response and turns around to dig a beer from the fridge. You don’t bother to hold back the urge to leer at him. You want to grab his ass, listen to him squeal in surprise, and blush in embarrassment when you squeeze. The thought of digging your fingers into the skin of it as he fucks you nice and slow makes your mind short circuit, a computer rebooting and making a loud noise before frying out indefinitely.
“On the rare occasion that I happen to use them, yes they always work. But…obviously not on you.”
“I’m not easy to win over. You need to be worth my time.” Your eyes flicker up to his face before he turns around to face you.
He takes a swig of his beer and you watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs with each swallow. The column of his throat is long and pale and you want to slide your tongue along the side to taste the saltiness of his skin.
“What’s it going to take?”
His interest in you is admirable, and a small part of you is giddy with the attention. But you’re nervous to give him an inch when most are quick to take a mile.
“I have a name so stop calling me princess. I’m not a royal, so unless you’re offering me land, money, or power, I don’t want to hear it.”
He barks out another laugh, his thick chest shaking and eyes closing as he throws his head back. You despise how good it sounds and you’re reminded of these moments when men seem so beautiful and wonderful before the ugliest parts of them are visible.
“What else?” he inquires, still chuckling as he takes another long sip.
“If you’re expecting sex from me, think again. I don’t do one-night stands or friends with benefits. It’s messy and I just don’t have the strength for it.”
He seems to consider your remark as if he has no choice but to weigh your stipulation before signing a contract. Then he smirks that devilish smirk that makes your cunt pulse between your thighs when you know damn well it shouldn’t. You cannot be this turned on by this man.
“Not even if I have a big dick?” he teases.
He’s annoying and you’re mildly disgusted but still willing to banter with him, so you grimace and roll your eyes. “What, you want me to take a look first before I make up my mind?”
He full-on grins, the fucker. “If that’s what it takes.”
But in true fashion, you bounce back with your own quip. “Public indecency is a crime and I also don’t like to look at cock until after I’ve eaten something. It’s nauseating.”
Laughter erupts from him once again, loud and boisterous that it seems to shake the oven against your back. He probably thinks you’re joking. But you’re not. Dick already looks alien. Looking at dick on purpose without any sense of arousal is pathological behavior. 
Your heart flips in your chest when he pushes off the refrigerator again, taking a swig of his beer as he saunters to you and the sight is criminal. Your fingers dig just slightly into the metal can in your hands, a faint pop emanating from it. 
“What are you bothering me for anyway,” you can’t help but ask, frustration coating your words as you frown more at yourself than at Toji. “I have so many other cousins here who are single and would love to get their hands on you.”
At first, he doesn’t respond, and in the silence, you struggle to take a full breath again. You don’t like that he’s so close to you, but you also love the way he smells and the way he looks at you as if you’re someone and not something to fucking eat. You’re a fucking mess. 
His head tilts slightly, and his hair follows the movement, brushing against his cheeks as his eyes take you in instead of scrutinizing you. 
The air feels thin again, and you ready yourself to leave when your pregnant aunt suddenly barges back into the kitchen and stops short at the scene. Toji takes a slow step back, not really bothering to fumble at being so close to you. You’re sure he doesn’t really care.
She’s your favorite for a reason because she understands. She’s not dismissive and mean and she simply smiles knowingly at you both before gesturing with her head towards the backdoor.
“Time to eat. Honey, why don’t you show Toji what’s what before your uncles steal everything.”
***
He stays close to you when you both make it outside, and you do your best to ignore your bitchy aunt’s gaze from her perch in one of the patio chairs. The spread of food makes your mouth water and you waste no time grabbing a plate for yourself and absentmindedly handing Toji one as well.
“I’ve never had some of this before,” he admits, and his voice is a little apprehensive from next to you as he takes everything in. It makes sense, this is probably his first cookout…his first black cookout at least. Strangely, you’re proud to be the one to guide him along.
“What is this?” he asks, pointing to the heavy helping of greens and ham hocks on his plate minutes later. You’re both at a small table alone and away from the noise.
“Collard greens…it’s a cabbage that’s cooked in a pot for a few hours with spices and broth. The ham hocks give it flavor, cook it before you add the greens so the meat falls off the bone better.” 
You bite your lip to keep from laughing as Toji gives them a wayward glance, an arch of a thin brow that makes his features more handsome than they should be, and then he takes a tentative bite before moaning sinfully in appreciation. The vertebrae of your spine lock in place, stiff with a sudden chill at the noise as you picture it slipping from his lips while you ride him until the hinges fall off. 
You take your own bite to stop anything stupid from coming out of your mouth.
You figure he has to eat to accommodate for his size but to see it in action is something else entirely. He finishes two plates in fifteen minutes and as he makes his way to get another serving, your bitch of an aunt speaks up from across the lawn.
“Why don’t you get up and get him another plate?”
Why don’t you shut the fuck up?
You grip the plastic fork in your hand tightly, digging into your diminishing potato salad and swallowing the vile that you want to throw her way. 
Make your man a plate before you make yours, get him a drink, get him another helping so he doesn’t have to, keep him fed.
Maybe this is why you’re single. You want to scream. You want—
“Don’t listen to her. You’re still eating, don’t move,” he levels, and you don’t miss the hint of irritation in his own voice as he gets up. “The same seltzer as before?” he asks, pointing to your drink that you didn’t realize was empty.
“I—”, you fumble before clearing your throat. “I like the strawberry one…if there’s any left.”
He shoots a wink your way and your body ignites with heat.
Your cousin worms her way over when Toji disappears, and you try your best to ignore the sly look on her face.
“Defending your honor from our bitchy aunt? My, my, the perfect recipe for your feminist heart.”
“Shut the fuck up,” you growl, shoving the last of the potato salad in your mouth. 
“He’s Shiu’s best friend. Moved here from Japan a few months ago and is living in the same city as you. It could be fate? You want his number?”
“Shut the fuck up,” you snap again, feeling exasperated but knowing that unless Shiu is here to stop her, she will talk until she’s tired or you’re swinging at her.
She giggles, undeterred and gearing up for more. “He’s single too. And you’ve got all our other cousins mad as hell because he won’t leave you alone.” You don’t reply, because you’re mildly intrigued and impressed with yourself. It’s nice to have the attention from someone so attractive; it’s just figuring out if he’s genuine that’s the headache. “When the music gets louder tonight…or when the fireworks go off, take him upstairs and fuck him on—”
“Didn’t I say—fuck you.”
She guffaws, loud and unabashed and it pulls a smile from the side of your mouth. You know she doesn’t mean it, you know that at gatherings like these, you’re the black sheep and she just wants you to enjoy yourself.
“Seriously though, cousin. Shiu doesn’t keep many around, but they’ve been friends since they were kids. That’s a good sign right?”
There’s some merit to it, but you still want to be careful.
And Toji Fushiguro makes it hard for you to be careful because he wants you around him all the time and is unashamed to show it. 
Later in the night when the music is booming old school hip hop that your uncle won’t shut up about (he’s drunk), your other uncles—and a few cousins they will definitely con—have a table already bustling with spades. At first, you’re unsure how they convinced Toji to join, but he’s partnered with one of your cousins who has no clue about the game, and you realize they just want Toji to lose so they can feel good.  
Feeling curious, you pretend to bring Toji a beer. He’s frowning down at the cards, irritated with his lips curled into a small scowl and your cousin is trying to act like he knows what to do, but his stupidity is palpable even from where you stand.
You offer him a beer and ignore the fact that the one on the table is still full. When he looks up at you, his sharp eyes hold you like a vice, frustration evaporating quickly before opportunity takes its place.
“Help me.” He doesn’t bother to hide the confusion in his voice and you can’t help the way your stomach flips. 
One of your uncle’s snickers. “She doesn’t know how to play.” You do. “But she can try.”
You’re so annoyed, and you want to snap at him but Toji is pulling you closer to him with a muscular arm before you can. You’re in his lap before you know it, sitting precariously on a thick thigh with your back pressed against a broad chest and you can’t breathe again. The fluctuating altitudes are making you lightheaded.
Any other time and you wouldn’t hesitate to turn around and knock a man’s teeth in for grabbing you. But against your better judgment, you relax into Toji instead. His cheap cologne smells way too fucking good, he’s so big and warm against your body and your throat is drying up like you’ve taken a big breath in the middle of the Sahara.
“Don’t grab me like that,” you can’t help but grumble, only mildly put off.
“I improvised.” It’s a feeble excuse wrapped around a heavenly chuckle in your ear and you pray to whoever is listening, mentally offering up a sacrificial lamb, anything to ensure you don’t drip all over his thigh. “Now help me win.”
You do. Three times. He's adamant about winning and you're sure he has a gambling problem. And if your legs go a little numb from sitting on his thigh or if you lean into the way his outside hand slides to hold the curve of your waist, you don’t complain about it.
***
“You don’t dance?” Toji asks an hour later, joining you on the blanket that you occupied when you first arrived. It’s almost sunset, and the orange of the sky covers half of the backyard as your family revels in their merriment.
You shrug at Toji’s question, gazing at members of your family who are dancing in the yard. One of your loudest uncles is boasting about the music as he teaches one of your cousins dance steps. That used to be you so many years ago, and the moves are like muscle memory as you watch them. One of your aunts takes over the stereo, beginning what will surely be an hour of reminding everyone of the greatest hits. 
You suddenly realize that it’s just you and Toji on the blanket. Your cousin and Shiu are off god knows where, and given her penchant for being a rebellious freak, she’s probably riding him on your uncle’s bed. The thought makes you shudder.
“Are you cold?” he probes, pulling you out of your thoughts.
It is cooler now, but that’s not why you were shivering. You’re ready to tell him no, to start shaking your head even as you watch him pull his own jacket off to place it over your shoulders. His hands smooth over your shoulders and down your arms as if securing it closer to your skin and your blood boils beneath your cheeks. Your skin isn’t light enough to show when you’re blushing, but you’re burning with nervousness.
“Stop being so nice to me,” you hiss instinctively, regretting the words as soon as they leave your mouth. The surprise is evident on his face and you immediately feel guilty. “I’m—I’ll only be mean to you in return.”
For the first time of the night, he looks angry. His eyebrows dip, the scar on his cheek twists with the harsh frown on his lips and he gives a severe ‘tch’ that makes you gape at him. “Why because you’re mean to men?” he snaps, impatient and free of any tease. 
It raises your hackles instantly, and you’re talking back before you know it. “Exactly. So why don’t you take a hint and stop trying to get into my pants—”
You feel a rough finger on the side of your cheek turn you further towards him, preventing you from looking at anything else.
“You just don’t like bullshit. Stop acting up and let me be nice to you.” 
For once, you don’t have anything to say even though your hand is twitching with the urge to slap the words from his mouth. You want to. It’s easy for you to fight back and push them away, you’re good at it. But you can’t fight the way his gaze seems to calm you down against your better judgment.
You pull your face from his hold and roll your shoulders, sliding out of his sharp gaze and turning back to your lively family. One of your cousins is arguing about why the Cowboys didn’t make it into the playoffs, and now everyone has something to say.
You pull in a deep breath, scolding yourself to relax just a little. He hasn’t been so bad, and you’re not one to make things intentionally difficult if a man is honestly trying. You’re still apprehensive about his intentions…but he is trying without being a beast. So you exhale your frustrations into the July air, calm down so your heart can steady its frantic pounding from the lingering scent of his cologne, and dig your fingers into your uncle’s well-kept grass.
“Fine. If I let you be nice to me…what would be the next thing you would say?”
You can’t look at him, but you feel his eyes on your body as you pluck a few blades of grass from the soil. The strands slide against the pads of your fingertips, rough and threatening to cut, before fluttering in the breeze when you release them. 
He’s grabbing you again, tenderly but possessively, sliding you into his embrace so your back is to his muscular chest, his chin rests on the side of your temple and his arms wrap around your waist. Your heart is back to leaping in your chest, pumping loud and fast in your ears, drowning out the music and arguing as if you’re underwater.
“How about you tell me about your family?” he suggests, voice unmuffled through the thickness of your hearing.
It’s a random ask, as if he wants to impress them, as if you’ve been dating for a long period of time and he wants to be prepared to meet them for the first time. The thought doesn’t leave a bad taste in your mouth, even though you know it would never be a reality anyway. You don’t know if he’s just joking and frankly, the feel of him against you is warmer than his jacket on your shoulders and you don’t want to leave.
So, if it means he can stay put, you give in. You tell him about your aunts, uncles, and cousins—where they are from and what they do. You share your traditions when you all get together and the small intricacies you all share. It’s incredibly personal…maybe even too intimate. But he listens, and hums to let you know he’s paying attention, and asks you questions as you talk.
Eventually, his cheek rests on the crown of your head against your braids and you surprisingly don’t mind at all. When you notice his arms wrapped around you, you get a better view of the scars on his arms and fingers, and there is a rising urge to ask how he got each one.
“So she’s been married twice?” his voice is low in your ear so you can only hear him in the noisy backyard. His breath smells faintly of the beer he finished an hour ago, and it slides along the skin of your neck hot and thick. You resist the urge to cant your neck to the side to give his breath more room to roam.
You nod. “She got the fillers after the first husband. Those brought in the second husband. Then he left her for some girl in Cali.”
“Cali?’ he questions, confused.
You snort softly. “California.” You elbow him and the bone slides against hard muscle. Dammit. “You don’t know your states?”
“I’m foreign, not stupid.” The laugh that bubbles from your chest is sharp and you can’t help the smile that pulls against your cheeks from it. “I know my states!” He sounds truly annoyed and for some reason that makes you laugh harder. “Florida, Kansas—”
“I’m not asking you to prove yourself!” you sputter around a giggle, shaking in his embrace. But he’s not listening.
“Montana, New York…there’s another one…the big one.”
You gawk, turning just a little to crane your head up at him. He looks down at you with an embarrassed expression, his cheeks a little rosy even though his lips are flickering with the urge to laugh. 
“I beg your finest pardon…the big one?”
The side of his face twists in the nastiest way, and he’s angry at being questioned. “Don’t—it’s the one down below!”
“In relation to what?”
His eyes narrow, emerald barely noticeable between thick lashes. You can sense his hold on you tightening slightly, his chest stutters in a huff and you realize with rising glee that he’s pouting. Normally you would revel in this…but—
“Texas,” you find yourself speaking up at him, voice soft and gentle on the edges. “The big one down below is Texas.”
He simply hums, his chest vibrating against your back, but his gaze is smoldering, taking you in and dipping down to your lips before flickering back up your eyes. You’re too hot now, his jacket against your skin too suffocating, your heart beating too fast against your ribcage.
You hate just how rebellious you like to be. “What, you gonna kiss me?”
The challenge is fleeting across his features and he leans down so quickly that you don’t have time to react. Your stomach flips with irritation at the implication that he would take from you without asking, and suddenly, you no longer want him touching you.
“I wouldn’t take it without asking,” he whispers in the small space between you both as if reading your thoughts. The tips of his raven locks brush against your cheek, there’s a slight kink in your neck from how you are looking up at him, but he’s so close that you don’t care. One of his hands skims up from your waist, caressing the curve of your ribs, and his thumb teasingly runs along the underside of your clothed breast. His touch is reactive in you, and you angle your body further into his actions. His gaze remains locked on yours, absorbing your very being without doing a thing and you’re fighting to stay in control.
“So can I?” he asks, voice deep with temptation. “Kiss you?”
You swallow the bucket of drool that has somehow pooled in the back of your throat in seconds. The thumping of your heart no longer fills your ears, replaced now by a deafening ringing, spurred by your growing desire as you open your mouth to respond. 
“I…depends…are you any good?”
He nonchalantly shrugs, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as his scarred lips twist into a smirk. He’s completely calm and you can tell if you told him no, he would leave it alone entirely. But he’s enjoying this, you can see it all over his face.
“Jury’s still out.”
You don’t trust yourself to say ‘yes’. Some part of you feels like if it comes out of your mouth, it will sound too desperate and you want to stay in control as much as you can. But, you could give yourself this. You’ve earned it. Just one kiss and then you could hide away until the fireworks and then use the noise as a cover to leave. After all, he’s hot. He’s been so nice and honest and the warning siren in your mind has long faded.
You deserve a reward.
So you nod, stiffly but enough for him to notice, and the air seems to thin out again when he leans in a little more.
“Toji!” one of your uncles calls out, severing through the heavy cloud of lust between you both like a knife. You recoil from his touch, his touch now only making you itchy, and you pull from his embrace so that his arms unravel and his jacket slides off your shoulders. The cooler air is freezing this time against your skin. “Come help me with the fireworks, would you?”
You don’t pay attention to his response, because you’re already up on your feet and making your way inside the house. Your body floods with the embarrassment and shame of being caught by your family…kissing a man that you’ve just met. You know you shouldn’t care…but it’s so easy for their behavior to rub off on you when you feel vulnerable.
***
Thankfully, no one is in the kitchen when you finally make it inside. The music dulls down when you close the backyard door and the ringing in your ears is now silent. 
You resolve to stay inside until the fireworks go off. No one is really paying attention to you anyway—most of them are drunk, others too absorbed in the music and gossip so it’s a perfect chance for you to duck away and show your face again next year.
Should you tell Toji goodbye?
No.
No, you hardly know the man. Just a few hours in good company and a kiss that almost happened that you probably would have let escalate. You probably would have let his tongue slide into your mouth. Probably would have let him pull you into one of the spare rooms, eat you out until you’re seeing stars, and then bend you over the edge of the bed to fuck you until he—
For fuck’s sake.
You yank open one of the kitchen cabinets in search of a glass. You need water because your body is piping hot. There’s a sheen of sweat on your neck beneath the layer of braids that fell when Toji laid his cheek on your head, and your hands are slick as they press into the counter to give you strength to peek into one of the lower shelves. Of course, the only one in the cabinet would be on the highest shelf. Of course, you’re too fucking short.
You climb onto the counter, knees digging into the off-white surface as you lift yourself up and peer into one of the higher shelves. You spot a glass, and you can have a heaping glass to cool yourself off enough to get you home. And then you can just use your vibrator once and go to sleep. Or twice. Or maybe a third time to get the thought of him out of your mind for the foreseeable future. 
Unbeknownst to you, he’s standing behind you. You didn’t even hear the back door open and close. But you catch a glimpse of a long, muscular arm reaching past your ear to grab the glass. You’re frozen, your fingers digging into the wooden shelf, unable to turn around and face him, even though you can feel his gaze hot on your skin.
Your plan is shattered, and you have no choice but to come up with an excuse to leave him. You’re combing through scenarios in your mind as you slowly slide down and perch yourself on the countertop, finally facing him. He places the glass on the counter, away from you, and closes the distance between you until the ridges of his clothed abs brush against your knees. His hands are searing against your skin as they rest on your knees and you watch his thumbs trace an obscure pattern with a touch that is featherlight. 
“Your uncle interrupted us,” Toji finally speaks, his voice carrying a hint of hopefulness despite his attempt to maintain a neutral expression. His gaze, so harsh and sharp, is alluring in its own way, tempting you to relax the steady clench of your thighs.
“It probably wasn’t a good idea anyway,” you chuckle, self-deprecation rising to the surface of your skin and prickling against the pores.
“Why not?”
Maybe because you would be too much for him and scare him away? Maybe the fear of being too demanding in bed, of not being able to stop once he kisses you, lingers in your thoughts, making the idea of having him only once and never again infuriating.
“I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want. I’ll get you water and let you sneak away when the fireworks go off because I know you want to…even though you shouldn’t give a fuck about what your family thinks…but I would really like that kiss.”
Analyzing his features, you take in the sincerity reflected in the moss-green of his eyes. It’s a last-ditch effort to make sure something else isn’t hiding there, and you find yourself coming up short.
Slowly, you part your legs for him to stand between. His hands slide up your thighs tantalizingly slow, leaving a trail of fire in their wake before pushing the fabric of your red sundress up to your waist. You try to ignore the way the cool air on your panties does little to quell the heat radiating from them. His hands wrap around your waist and a gasp heaves from your lips when he yanks you to him, your thighs brushing the sides of his thick waist. 
One of the hands on your waist trails up to the side of your neck, gently tilting your head up, so you can look fully at him as his thumb traces the skin of your bottom lip.
“You better make it good,” you challenge, hoping your faux annoyance can mask the anticipation building in your gut.
He sees right through it and simply hums before he leans down to finally seal his lips against yours. He’s a big man, an overwhelming man, and you feel it in his kiss as his lips take every ounce of breath you have in your lungs. He tastes like the pound yellow cake that everyone got to before you could and a hint of beer and it’s the perfect combination that you want more of. 
His hands are under your dress, brushing beneath your thighs for traction and pulling you impossibly closer to the point where you feel your clothed center brush against the zipper of his jeans. You dig your hands into the fabric of his shirt, twisting and silently commanding for him to give you more. You open your mouth to coax him and his tongue is wet and insistent against yours.
You can feel your resolve dissipating in the air, fizzling against the heat that radiates from your body and your self-control is walking on a tightrope, precariously and seconds away from falling. And once it’s gone, you’ll be a woman unhinged.
He yanks you to him again as if its not enough, harder this time with a growl in the back of his throat that makes you gasp into his mouth, then rolls his hips against yours and behind his zipper you feel him hard and bulging and angry and oh—
You pull away with a harsh breath, gasping for air and biting back a moan that gurgles in your throat when his mouth works its way down the skin of your neck. Your skin is sensitive, and it buzzes with the touch of his lips and invokes a fervent need so deep within you that you’re losing awareness of where you are. You’re lightheaded, brain in the fucking stratosphere and you have to lay down, you have to—
He’s guiding you onto your back before you can do it yourself and the cool counter is a balm against the skin of your exposed shoulders and back. He looms over you from his place between your legs, big and muscular and reeking of hunger. 
“Toji,” you try to speak into the air, stifling a whimper at the sight of him stretching out your leg to rest on his shoulder.
One of his large hands caresses the canvas of your calf before you watch his lips kiss your chocolate skin. His rough scar scratches against you in the most delightful way as his mouth kisses up your calf, bends your leg to get closer, and then resumes his touch on the inside of your thigh. His face should be melting with the amount of heat emitting from between your legs, but he must relish in the burn because the second his tongue slides thick and wet against your clothed cunt, you whimper pathetically into the air.
You have just enough common sense to break from the desire to be fucked thoroughly to whisper.
“Toji, we can’t,” you swallow against the dryness in your throat. “Someone could see.”
You can feel the impatience on his body in waves but he has to listen to you. If your family were to walk in here right now to see their niece or cousin being eaten out like a gourmet meal, the Earth would swallow you whole.
“Shit,” he hisses, pulling you into his arms and carrying you out of the kitchen. You don’t care enough to tell him where to go; you’re too hot, too wet in your panties, and your need is twisting at the base of your spine in the most irritating way, begging to be soothed. 
You hear the beginnings of fireworks being popped off in the backyard and your family is loud, thankfully so loud as Toji locks the door to the bathroom and drops you unceremoniously onto the counter. Though the metal of the faucet digs into the small of your back and you fall into the mirror as you clamber to get yourself in order, you can’t bring yourself to care. He’s on you again, all teeth and lips and sinful tongue in your mouth with equally sinful hands digging impatiently into the sides of your panties.
“Take them off,” you demand, practically whining and in less than a second you can only get one leg out before he’s sinking to his knees, eyes wild and shoulders heaving with untamed breaths. 
“God, you’re so fucking wet. So damn pretty,” he whispers in reverence, throwing your legs over his shoulders, and the compliment makes your cunt throb in anticipation.
You can’t be sure if he’s talking to you or himself. Before you can breathe to calm yourself, it’s catching in your throat, hitching against a moan as his tongue licks a long wet stripe up the slit of your dripping cunt. His tongue parts your folds as if it’s the sea, savoring your essence and then sucking your clit into his mouth like it’s the cherry on top and you love it, whine at the feel, eyes crossing and rolling into the back of your head at the exquisite feeling.
He pulls away for a moment, taking a deep breath as if to regain control, and kisses the inside of your thigh before sliding two fingers up your dripping center, collecting your slick before beginning to rub circles on your clit. He’s mesmerized, and you take a moment to marvel at just how little of his green eyes are visible to you, his pupils are dilated with hunger and focused on the way your cunt moves with his fingers.
“Your bitch of an ex ever eat you out?”
You really don’t want to think about him right now, and you also don’t like the thought of someone feeling like they need to prove themselves to you.
But there’s a big man between your thighs who wants to unwrap you like candy. So you shrug, panting softly as you speak, “Every now and then.”
Toji scoffs, eyes seeming to darken like a forest at night.
“Every now and then,” he parrots, voice incredulous as if he’s heard the most insane thing ever, like he can’t believe it.
He increases the pressure on your clit harshly, causing you to buck against him, yelping in satisfied shock when he flicks your sensitive bud hard with his tongue.
“I’ll make you feel good, princess. Don’t you worry.” 
The nickname doesn’t have the effect as before. No, this time you moan in response, your guts churning with satisfaction at the prospect of being worshiped.
Slowly the two fingers on your clit slide into you, testing the waters, gauging if you’re okay, and your jaw slackens at the feel of the stretch. Fingering is an art, an act that requires patience and skill. You have to know the right pace, when to curl, how to know a woman’s body to determine what she wants. It’s glorious when it’s done right. 
And god, does Toji do it right.
He’s thorough and fluid in his strokes, using the tempo of your moans to curl at just the right time and sucking and licking your clit like he’s ravenous and your head is falling back into the space between your shoulder blades, eyes wide with disbelief as you stare at the ceiling. 
The fireworks are consistent outside, popping off every second and it’s loud enough that you have the courage to voice how Toji is making you feel. 
“Every now and then,” he hisses again to himself, angry and curling his fingers a little harder. You jerk against him, whimpering like a fool when you feel his tongue flick your clit harder as a reward. “He’s so fucking stupid. You taste so good, it’s unbelievable.”
He’s curling more now, brushing against that spongy wall that zings heat to your belly. Your insides churn, a molten heat popping to splatter against the base of your spine, pleasure coaxing you to reach that precipice that will let you fall apart. 
Vaguely you hear him whispering words into the skin of your thighs that you can’t decipher, the thrumming in your ears too loud to hear anything else beyond the fireworks outside, your escalating moans, and the obscene sounds of him slurping you up. The muscles in your thighs begin to tighten, your fingers are sweaty as they slide against the cool marble of the bathroom counter, and you dig your wedges into the muscles of his back, white panties dangling off one ankle. He’s so good, so thorough and your breath is hitching, choking on a moan.
“There you go princess, cum all over my fingers. Get me nice and messy.”
His deep words are accompanied by a sharp bend of his fingers and you’re cumming with a shout, rejoicing in the hot pleasure that puddles along your bones. It’s abrupt and overwhelming, pulling a sharp current down your body that makes your back arch until it bumps into the sink behind you. He’s groaning from his place between your legs, still pumping his fingers and licking your clit to collect as much of your slick as he can.
By the time you look down at him, you’re still catching your breath, your thighs tremble from the sudden chill injected into your muscles. You catch Toji just in time to watch him begin to slip his two dripping fingers into his mouth, but you snatch his wrist, riding off the high of your orgasm to slip his digits into your mouth instead. Thin rings of green widen in surprise and you savor the way his cheeks darken as you swirl your tongue around his digits.
“You’re unreal,” he gulps when you pop his fingers out of your mouth.
You shrug, not willing to show him just how powerful you feel, and wrap your legs around his waist, panties still caught on the buckle of one of your wedges. 
“I’m letting you be nice to me, remember? So what’s next?”
With a harsh pull, he stumbles closer to you, his hands slamming against the marble counter on either side of your waist. His breath hitches as you hastily undo his belt, eyes widening as he takes in the way you leer up at him. 
“You got me a drink, defended my honor from my bitchy aunt, asked me about my family, ate my pussy…you wanna fuck me now?”
“I—” he starts, caught off guard by your forwardness.
“You want to bend me over this counter, make me look in the mirror while I take your cock? Smack my ass and make me beg for you to fill me up?”
“You’ve got a mouth on you,” Toji chokes on a nervous laugh, hissing when your fingers graze the sensitive skin above his belt. 
“Is that a problem?”
The hair of his happy trail is faint and dark just like the hair on his head, and your touch makes his stomach bunch in sensation. He shakes his head in response and you want to laugh so bad at the sight of him struggling to swallow. You haven’t done anything to the man, but he’s sensitive to your touch, and that makes the blood in your veins sing.
“If you’re letting me have you, you can have it however you want.”
Arousal hums to life between your legs, and you can’t help but be turned on at how much he’s giving you. You want him now and while the prospect of being fucked over the counter was what you had hoped, if your family comes in and hears you taking it like a champ, you’ll never show your face again.
So when the door to your truck’s backseat closes, you’re climbing back on his lap, relaxing further into him with the knowledge that you can be as noisy as you want. Your uncle has a seven-month supply of fireworks and land in the middle of nowhere, Hennessey, and classics booming from his sound system… it’s going to be loud for a very long time. 
You’re running on your own current of desire at this point, pawing at his shirt so he can finally yank it off his shoulders and you’re drooling. He’s glorious and you don’t hesitate to rub your hands down firm pectorals, between the abs on his torso, and along the musculature of his Adonis belt. He’s cut like a marble statue, something that takes a painstaking process to hammer and smooth over until the result is almost—
“Let me take you out,” he suddenly suggests, voice gravelly with want but insistent.
Huh?
You’re immediately puzzled, eyebrows dipping into a furrow as you try to decipher his words. His hair is wild, black strands splintering and bushy but still giving you a gateway to his eyes and you see that he’s completely serious.
“On…a date?” A lift of his thin eyebrow in reply and the reality of him actually showing interest flags dangerously against your desire to ride him into oblivion. “Just the dopamine talking, I’m sure,” you say, hoping to dismiss the idea. You hadn’t expected him to actually…want to take you out. You can’t think about that right now because your head is too thick with hunger to try and have a conversation.
He hums, low and dangerous, a hand brushing the skin above your clit and you’re reminded of just how wet you still are from his sloppy tongue minutes before. 
“You’re the only one here that’s cum, princess. I’m being serious.”
“It’ll pass,” you reply immediately, licking into his mouth to shut him up.
Thankfully he doesn’t try to interject because you don’t have time to talk right now—you don’t want to. You don’t know Toji, not well enough. While tonight has been one of the most relaxed evenings you’ve spent with a man in a long time, you’re unsure if he genuinely wants you or if he’s merely carried away by the thrill of being with a woman.
He tried to come onto you the minute he laid eyes on you, tried to kiss you after a few hours, and pocketed your panties even though you pretended to be oblivious. You just don’t know. If you had a pretty girl in your lap, you would probably say the same things. Ask her on a date, make her feel wanted so she’s more giving when you slide her panties off.
It’ll pass.
And that’s what you tell yourself when you feel his large hands palm your ass beneath your sundress. You are teeth against him, nipping his tongue, biting the skin of his jaw, the meat of his neck, and the sharp groan that you pull from him in response makes you drip like a bitch in heat against his jeans.
“Take off your pants,” you whisper to him sharply, turning around and leaning over the center console to fish a condom from inside. You had discovered them months ago, and they should have been more than enough for you to dump your ex then.
“Shit,” you hear Toji hiss from behind you before your ass stings from his slap against it. You yelp, jumping from the contact and you hope he can see your cunt pulse from between your thighs in response. “Hurry up, baby.” 
When you face him again, you freeze, eyes widening at the sight of his cock. As you take him in, he snatches the condom from your hand and unfurls it on his cock.
Surprisingly trimmed with dark hair, he’s thick—not enough to be painful—but enough to enjoy the stretch so you can ride him until he flatlines and enjoy the ache in your thighs in the morning. It’s perfect; pale with a red tip that leaks into the tip of the condom, a vein along the side that you can’t lick without tasting latex. It’s a shame.  
He throws you that devilish smirk, eyes twinkling in pride before he taps his thigh and beckons you like the best ride at the carnival.
“Hop on, princess.”
Your fingers grip the hair at his nape when you feel him inside of you. It’s a delicious stretch that you have to breathe through, and the feel of his hands affectionately stroking your back catches you off guard. You don’t hate it; in fact, you want to lean into it, but you don’t want to give him any ammunition for something you aren’t sure about. So you slide down to the hilt and listen to Toji curse sharply through the sudden heat of you before you start a steady rhythm that throws him off.
Within seconds, you increase your pace, riding him with an intensity that makes the air in your throat catch and drag along the sides. He’s got a satisfying curve to him that grazes those magical spots within you to make the grip on his nape tighten like a vice. Your head is foggy with an overpowering mist that makes your mouth loose and your inhibitions low.
“You feel so good,” he whispers, pulling you out of the delirium you were basking in to focus on him. His jaw is relaxed, hot air puffing from between an open mouth and onto the skin of your neck, a few strands of his hair stick to his forehead and the sides of his cheeks and there’s a slight furrow to his thin eyebrows as if he’s trying to concentrate.
You’re giddy with desire. “Let me guess,” you tease, lips brushing against his. “Am I tight?”
“Yes,” he replies without hesitation, eyelids hooded and upper cheeks darkening with a blush that spreads down his neck.
“Am I nice and hot?”
“Yes, fuck yes, baby.” 
It’s meant to tease, because every man that has ever slid inside of you in the past says the same shit, but to hear it from him brings a strange sense of satisfaction that you find yourself slanting your lips against his. He still tastes like the yellow cake that you never got, but the flavor is intertwined with the remnants of your essence that still lingers on his tongue that dances with yours. 
You plant your knees harder into the seat on each side of him, use your muscles to bear down and give you more control, and then you roll your hips, guiding him in and out in a tantalizing dance that elicits groans from him and makes him roll his head back against the headrest.
“Let me take you out,” he gasps into the air and you refuse to answer him—you can’t. It’s harder now to believe his sincerity because he’s delirious with lust. “Answer me.”
You growl softly and yank your hands from his hair to push down the straps of your sundress. You’re not wearing a bra, and he cusses like he just stubbed his toe as he watches your breasts spill free.
“Stop talking,” you whisper and yank his head forward, beckoning him to you and he catches on quickly, licking and sucking a nipple before pulling it into his mouth. The sensation makes you shudder, a gentle pleasure that your cunt appreciates and you pick up your pace on him again. “Stop asking me. Just let me fuck you.”
He bites down in retaliation to pull a squeak from you and licks over the sting in a half-assed apology. When you look down, his gaze is illuminated by the streetlights, a harsh glare that showcases his annoyance with your deflection, but his eyes droop when you squeeze around him in response.
You’re stuffed full of him, stretching along the sides, punching the air out of your throat with each bounce on his cock and your legs begin to burn with the build-up of exertion. Your nipples are wet and sensitive against his taste buds as he teases each peak into his hot mouth and it helps to mix that pot of pleasure in your stomach to life again. 
You can feel it, like a crescendo of waves crashing against a dock, but the waves are coming in quicker and more turbulent with every moan and cry that falls from your lips. You push him off of your chest, dig your fingers into his shoulders for more leverage so you can ride his cock like you have nothing left to lose.
His chest is blooming red, covered in a light sheen of sweat that dips between his pectorals and pools in his collarbones. Your bun of braids came loose when he was eating you out in the bathroom, and now some are heavy on your skin with sweat and plaster over your shoulders and between your sternum and you’re hot and sweaty and trying so hard to reign it in. 
He doesn’t buck up into you and you’re unsure if it’s due to laziness or the fact that he simply wants to watch you while he brings himself closer to climax. You hope it’s the latter. 
“Do you like this?” you pant into his mouth and nip his bottom lip. “You can tell me, you know. Be a good boy and tell me just how I’m making you feel.”
He groans and lands another smack to your ass that makes you gasp and arch further into him. It's the right amount of pain that makes your pussy pulse in response, the right amount of manhandling that can take you higher in a second.
“You’re a natural, princess. You ever ride him like this?”
You shake your head and he smacks your ass again, harder this time and digs his fingertips into the flesh to let the sting linger. It's so good, and you can't help the whine that you puff against his lips as he smirks up at you with a proud disposition.
“He couldn’t handle it. Probably why he cheated wasn’t it? You were too much for him. You know how you like it and he couldn’t deliver.” 
You don’t answer him, but he’s right. He’s so right. He couldn’t stand it when you took control, hated when you asked him to do something that didn’t result in him being dominant, hated when he couldn’t even eat pussy without you having to ask. 
The feel of his fingers on your clit makes you jump and you poke your fingers into his nape again and pick up your pace, panting and moaning like you’re running a marathon as the pleasure rocks inside of you like a pendulum. 
“Oh god. Oh fuck, oh fuck,” you whisper, stomach burning.
You’re fluttering around him—pulsing and clenching and gushing over the thickest cock you’ve ever had and it’s glorious, you’re in fucking heaven.
The streetlight shines faintly into your truck, painting half of Toji’s face. He’s beautiful; that same annoying flicker of desire that captivated you when his green eyes met yours hours ago glimmers thin and dilated.
There’s a ruggedness to him that exudes masculinity, but glimpses into the depths of his eyes reveal a tender vulnerability that makes you wonder how soft he could be if he allowed you to get close enough.
The thought makes your cunt tighten around him, your thighs tense and fill with lactic acid and his fingers on your clit are unceasing, rubbing in a precise rhythm that makes you hiccup on a moan of incredulity. The hand not occupied with your clit is reclined across the headrest behind him and it makes him look unbearably sexy.
“I’ve never had a woman ride me like this,” he whispers, and you smile into his mouth, your kiss messy as you swallow down his compliment. He yanks you away and breathes that same insufferable ask against your lips.
“Let me take you out.” He rubs your clit faster, using the way you tighten around him as a guide to your pleasure, and his hand leaves the headrest to dig into the meat of your ass. “One chance. One dinner. I’ll give you what you deserve, whatever you want, princess. I promise just—”
“Stop it,” you whine and fight the burning sensation in your eyes. You’re so close, so fucking close and the storm inside of you is out of control but he won’t stop fucking talking. Won’t stop being so damn nice even though his cock is rearranging your guts in the nastiest way. You grip his hair and pull him closer to you so there’s no space between you to breathe. “Stop talking. Stop asking. Make yourself useful and make me cum.”
Thankfully he does. He scowls up at you behind the curtain of his hair but pinches your clit and you squeal, rolling your hips, riding him like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. The windows have already fogged up, the truck rocks with your movements, and you are consumed with a blissful incoherence that forces you to surrender and let your walls crumble.
Your thighs burn, your dress clings to your sweaty body, and the stimulation on your clit becomes almost unbearable as you whine with the need to cum. He hisses loudly into the car, bares his teeth for a second, and then his eyes roll before he’s slack-jawed and panting into stuffy air, a current of groans beneath.
“That’s it, Toji,” you gasp, voice strained as you teeter on the brink of an orgasm that threatens to overwhelm you. “Be nice to me just like you said and give me everything like the good boy you are.”
The hand not on your clit slips against the sweat on your hips, and you lick up the side of his neck, savoring the salt taste of his perspiration on his smooth skin, just in time to hear him. It’s faint and low, practically a whisper but he chants--
‘Fuck yes, fuck yes. So fucking good. Ride me, sweetheart.’
It’s tilted in a whine, pathetically desperate, but the sound of him does the trick because the flick of his fingers on your clit makes the biggest wave of pleasure crash over you.
You don’t get the chance to tell him you’re cumming, you simply yank his head back from the sudden force, tilt your head up to the ceiling and cum with an exhausted and wrung out ‘fuck!’ that you’re sure your uncle’s neighbors will hear a mile down the road. You’re dumbfounded with pleasure, dizzy with it and your belly is hot and simmering as you gasp and whimper at just how good it feels. 
He’s laying you back on the seat before you can catch your breath. You’re still coming down, still moaning to catch up but his large hands are under your knees and bending them towards your chest to chase his own orgasm. The edge of the seat digs into the crevice of your spine, and your hand flies out to smack against the back of the driver’s seat so you don’t fall but it slips with sweat, is hard to hold onto and you can hardly focus with everything that’s going on. 
His mouth is on you, stealing your breath that you still can’t control, swallowing your moans as he fucks you with a ferocity that pulls your soul from your body. He pulls away with a deep moan and stares down at you with a look that makes you anxious—like he wants to see you again, like he wants to come to another cookout with your rowdy family if it means he can bother you some more—like he really likes you. 
You know he’s going to try and say something that you may not be able to talk yourself out of, so you take the intense furrow in his eyebrows and the stuttering of his hips as a cue.
“You gonna cum?” you purr up at him, moaning weakly from the harsh thrusts that stroke you into overstimulation.
“Yes,” he answers without fail, eyes locked on yours. “Yes, I’m gonna cum. Fuck—”
Reaching up, you cup his cheek, unsure why but feeling an inexplicable need, and the words that fall from your lips help him across the finish line. 
“Cum inside me, Toji. Take what you want and fill me up.”
His eyes widen before they roll closed and he’s slamming against you three times hard and rough before the deepest moan you’ve ever heard slips past his lips. He pants heavily stuttering tiny thrusts into you as he comes down, the tips of his hair drip a few drops of sweat onto your neck before he lowers himself to rest on top of you. He’s too big for the seat and his knee digs into the floor of the truck to maintain his balance. His hot breath washes over your neck, slowly calming down, and in your daze, you realize that you’re holding onto his shoulders. 
The hard lines of Toji that you noted when you first saw him now feel gentle against you.
He rumbles your name into your neck and you’re cutting him off before the dopamine can speak for him. 
“We should get back inside before someone finally notices that we’ve been gone.” He abruptly lifts to look down at you, annoyance etched on his devastatingly handsome face. He wants to argue, you can taste it, but your fear wins. “My bitchy aunt has been at me all night, the last thing I need is her snooping.”
He’s quiet still, the edge of his lips curling into a dissatisfied frown. It stretches his scar in a way that takes away from the beauty of his face. Makes him look more alien and you have to pull your gaze from him. But he doesn’t argue like you think he would. He doesn’t speak or try to talk back or voice how annoyed he is.
He slowly pulls out of you and you immediately miss the feeling, ties off the condom, and pulls you up tenderly from the seat. Your skin is sticky and the truck reeks of sex. The high has worn off and all that remains is the overwhelming unease that rises like bile in the back of your throat. 
When you both are finally dressed and creeping out of the backseat, the cool air is a welcome feel to your overheated skin. It washes away your trepidation, if only for a moment. Toji looms over you, tall like a bear that you desperately want to sink your embrace back into, but he still doesn’t speak, and the crease of annoyance between his brows doesn’t leave. He should hold onto it. It will help him get over you. 
“Do you mind getting my purse from inside the house? I don’t want to go back inside just yet and I need to check my phone.”
Impatience emanates from his every pore, yet you can sense his anxiety as he shifts his weight from foot to foot. But he still doesn’t fight and makes his way back inside without a word.
You lied.
Your purse is in the front seat of your car—you threw it up there when you both snuck into the vehicle in the first place, but his attention was too busy trying to feel you up than pay attention to the satchel hanging off your shoulder. 
Once you see the front door close, you get into the front seat, start your car, and drive away without a second thought. Your hands grip the steering wheel tightly as the temptation to turn back tugs at you. 
It may not be right to leave without saying goodbye, and lying to him has left a bitter taste in your mouth. Your family is too occupied with the fireworks and each other’s company to really notice your absence anyway, and you’re sure they’ll have no problem trying to distract Toji when he realizes that you’re gone. 
The grip on the wheel doesn’t lessen, but you roll down the windows and let the evening July air wash away some of the sex that still lingers on the seats.
***
“So you did fuck him,” your cousin snickers over the speaker of your phone a week later. 
It’s a Saturday night and you’re knee-deep in your wash day routine. It took you all day to take out your braids and the clear shower cap on your head traps the deep conditioner inside. You wipe away some of the excess near your ear.
You have Chinese waiting to be delivered, and you’re ready to finish your routine so you can go to bed. Your eyes are glued to your television playing some sort of nature documentary but your attention is elsewhere, specifically on trying to worm your way out of this conversation with your cousin. She’s called you every single day since the 4th and she’s done nothing but make you feel guilty about your abrupt departure. 
As you expected, your family didn’t really notice your absence. But when Toji asked your cousin for your purse and then realized you had lied, he sulked in a lawn chair for the rest of the night before Shiu drove him home.
“Yes, I fucked him. So what?”
“Soooo do something about it. Fuck him again? He lives in the same city as you and is here indefinitely. Make a move—”
“It was a nice night, but he was already trying to flirt with me as soon as he saw me and I still entertained him and fucked him and—I shouldn’t have done that…I should have waited, maybe tested the waters more. He only tried to ask me out because he was horny as hell.”
She’s quiet on the other line, and you look up at the ceiling in exasperation because you can feel her annoying logic rev up before she fires away.
“So you’re just scared? Your ex cheated on you because he was a spineless pissy boy who slithered away because you didn’t take his shit. That’s not a reflection of you, at all. I know you like to have it all figured out before you make a decision, but not everything works out that way. Toji saw a fine ass black woman who talks her shit and he made a move. He’s a nice guy...a little rough around the edges, but truly…a nice guy. Someone for you.”
James Attenborough elegantly voices something about the cuttlefish on the screen while you try to contemplate what to say. She’s right. You hate that she’s right. It’s why you two are so close but still you retort in the best way you know how.
“Girl, fuck you.”
Her raucous laugh vibrates over the speaker in delight and you snort and roll your eyes when the doorbell cuts you off. The prospect of your Chinese food makes your mouth water and you’re rushing to the door.
Only it’s not your Chinese food at the doorstep, it’s Toji Fushiguro. Toji Fushiguro who is protected from the rain under the overhang of your apartment door with one hand in the pocket of his jacket and the other clutching a container. The annoyed look that you last saw on his face is gone, replaced by a neutral and bored look that seems natural for him, even though his eyes don’t convey that specific emotion. Those green eyes are reminiscent of your uncle’s well-maintained lawn as they look down at you with a nervous glint. 
“Toji,” you breathe in disbelief. “How did you get my address…”
Your cousin squawks on the other line and swallows a giggle. “I’m gonna go—”
“Your cousin finally gave it to me.,” he replies simply and gestures down to the phone in your tight grip. “I’ve been trying to get it since you fucking left.”
“Damn, thanks?!” she barks at him. “Lemme get out of here, I’m getting another call anyway. Bye!”
You’re going to kill her. Slowly. Painfully and maybe in front of Shiu to get a few tears out of him if you’re feeling particularly evil. 
You know she’s right about Toji, but you can’t do this. You shouldn’t have fucked him in the first place and you should have thought of a backup plan on the off chance that your cousin was going to be annoying and nosy as hell.
You ignore his intense and heavy gaze, shifting in discomfort, scratch the back of your neck, and blanch in horror when your fingers brush the edge of your shower cap. You’re wearing a large t-shirt, your feet are bare and your head is covered in a shower cap with deep conditioner leaking from the sides; a stark contrast from the calm and collected woman who snapped at him all day a week ago. Mortification washes over you in a heavy wave, drowning your mantra of not giving a fuck about a man’s opinion, and you step back to grab the door.
“Listen…I’m waiting for food and then I have to get ready for work in the morning. So you need—”
“You have time to spare then,” he cuts off and walks past you. You round on him, indignant in your gaze.
“Have you lost your fucking mind?! Get out, Toji!”
“You want me to leave? Hmm?” he asks, goading you like you don’t know if you’re sure.
You’re not sure, but—“Yes, goddammit! I shouldn’t have left but I don’t do this sort of thing! The moment you met me, you only wanted to get in my pants. And that makes you trying to ask me out while your cock is inside of me, a lot harder to believe!”
He firmly places the container in his hands on your kitchen counter, takes a deep breath to calm himself, and gives you a look that either makes you want to melt into him or slap it off his face.
“Listen—”
You’re on the defensive now, backed into a corner and ready to pull every card you have to just make him go away. “You here for a quick fuck then? Because you got me to let my guard down and because we had such a steamy time in the backseat of my truck, you thought, what? You could just show up and bend me over my couch?”
That flicker of irritation is back on his face and it crinkles the edges of his eyes, makes him look nasty and hostile.
“Fuck, will you stop—”
“Wanna have a little ‘situationship’ while you get acquainted with your new life here? Have me get nice and comfortable and as soon as I ask for something more, you’re jumping ship. Sounds like a good plan, doesn’t it?”
A sharp growl leaves his throat and he glares.
“Girl—” he starts and immediately stops, eyes wide as saucers at the venomous gaze that you shoot his way. There it is, a hint of a name to make you feel small and insignificant. It reminds you of your parents when you used to talk back and they slid the name to you in a warning to stop talking. You hate it and it stings that you have to hear it from him.
“Get out,” you bark, seething with a rage that brings a sting to your eyes. 
He throws up his hands in frustration, looming like a bear from his place in your kitchen. “Will you just stop it!”
“I said—”
“Oh my fucking god—I like you!” 
His admission catches you off guard, cutting through your anger, and you stare at him in astonishment. His face is red with embarrassment, eyes trained up at the ceiling as if asking the gods to give him patience. He takes a deep breath before meeting your gaze from across the kitchen.
“You don’t do this sort of thing?” he asks, gesturing between the two of you. You can’t find the words to respond, still too shocked, so you simply nod. 
“What sort of thing is that? Flirting with you because you looked like the sexiest little thing in that backyard and I wanted your attention?” He’s annoyed, deep voice razor sharp as he speaks, but you don’t miss the step he takes closer to you.
“Me trying to make you feel better because your family is judgmental? Teaching me about the food you like because I’m not from here?”
He’s closer now and the air is thin again just like that night a week ago.
“Helping me win that little card game?” It’s spades, but you’re too lightheaded with how close he is to correct him. “Telling me about your family? What sort of thing is that? Hmm? Tell me.” 
You don’t have a retort. You’re too stunned to speak even though you refuse to let the annoyed expression on your face vanish. You want to hold onto what little shreds of defiance you have left.
“You aren’t mean. You don’t tolerate bullshit, you don’t fuck around, and you put people in their place. You refuse to settle for less, and I already told you that’s what I like in a woman…And I like you.”
What do you even say? You never expected to see him again, and your mind is muddled as if you’re submerged in water. Your heart feels too big in your chest, your body too hot and sweaty and you’re nervous. He’s angry with his confession, almost annoyed and you’re beginning to realize that it is an emotion that’s second nature to him even if it’s not as intense as you think it is. 
“Is that right?” you can’t help but test him, lifting a brow. You have to crane your neck just a little to look up at him.
He scoffs, the crease in his eyebrows smooths out and the scar on his lips twitches. 
“Yea, that's fucking right. So…” he takes one more step closer and his body is brushing against yours. He smells mildly of toothpaste and bergamot from another brand of cheap cologne and the combination makes you weak in the knees. “Let me take you out.”
It’s the same demand that you’ve heard so many times now, but this time, it feels more serious, more meaningful with a hint of desperation. In the kitchen light, you can see just how silky his raven locks are and you grip your phone and the fabric of your t-shirt to resist the urge to run your hands through them. 
“I’m listening,” you jest with a practiced air.
That wicked smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth, scar adding a devilish flair to his features, and your stomach burns with the realization that he’s too cocky for his own good, and you’ve unfortunately grown to like it. 
“Shiu has tickets for something here called…football? He’s taking your cousin and has two extra tickets. Come with me and show me how to win.”
You can’t help the snort that leaves your mouth and your stomach flips at the genuine confusion on his face. “We don’t participate in the game. We watch it. But it’s fun.”
“All the more reason for you to come with me.”
“I…”
It’s a compelling argument, all of it is. And you want to, you really want to give this a shot and just be vulnerable for once. Because Toji seems like the kind of man who would let you be just who you are and would never make you feel lesser than about it. 
The feel of his large hands cupping your cheeks pulls you out of your thoughts, and he tilts your face up to meet his gaze. His eyes are mesmerizing, like the color of pine trees right before the sun sets and you feel yourself weakening completely.
“One date, princess.”
The deep timbre of his voice does little to help you and it’s worse because it’s just how he fucking talks. You’re not a royal, and you don’t have land, lots of money, or power, but you can tolerate ‘princess’ if it’s coming from his mouth. 
Just one date. You deserve it. You’ve earned the reward.
You wave away his hands from your face just so you can breathe a little easier. He chuckles but gives you your space, and makes his way to the door that you usher him towards. 
“Fine. Make sure you bring cash because it’s easier at the concession stands. I want a pretzel…and a hot dog.”
He snickers as he pulls his hood over his head, obscuring most of his face except for the ethereal glow of his eyes. His teeth shine from his bright smile and you roll your eyes in response before watching him open your door. 
“Toji?” you call, your voice softer…apprehensive.
He turns around to watch you shuffle to him, your feet and legs cold against the chill from the open door. You hand him your phone wordlessly and he takes the hint to insert his number. When he’s finished, you open your mouth to speak, lips shaping words that won’t come out—words you want to say. But you can’t. Not yet. Maybe one day.
For now, you throw him an annoyed eyebrow lift and grumble. “Parking is a real bitch, so pick me up early.”
You avert your gaze, frustrated at yourself for sounding so mean as usual. Because that’s just who you are. The bitter, mean—
A finger beneath your chin lifts your gaze to him and he kisses you full on the mouth, slow and reassuring, minty breath sliding into your mouth when he nips your bottom lip. The self-deprecating voice in your head finally quiets, smothered by a pillow held down by his scarred hands.
When he pulls away, that stupid smirk is on his face, but it’s not as teasing, and your heart does something weird in your chest that makes you swallow hard.
“Yes ma’am,” he replies finally to your demand.
You watch his eyes take in your form from head to toe before he kisses you quickly once more and ducks into the rain.
When you finally get your Chinese and place it on the counter to dig in, your eyes land on the container that was in Toji’s hands from earlier. 
You peek inside, and your heart does that weird thing again in your chest when you see a heaping slice of the yellow cake that you never got to have a week ago.
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Thanks for reading! You can find the sequel here!
©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.
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a-hazbin-reader · 3 months
Note
how about a reader who's been feeling pretty overworked recently?and just needs to rest but is to stubborn to Al does something about it?
Now it's Alastor's turn to pamper~
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: None I think??
Description: ☝️⬆️
You've been going nonstop all week and it's been taking it's toll on you physically and mentally
There's so much that needs done and you're only one person, you don't have time to sit and relax
Which means you're unintentionally taking time with you away from Alastor
Not his ears drooping and folding back when he realizes you're going to turn him down
"I'm so sorry, Alastor, I'm just too tired to go out and I really need to finish this."
"Y/N, it's our date night and I insist that you-"
"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you later, I promise."
But you pass out and Alastor has to carry you to bed, hating that you're so overworked right now, that you have no time to spare for him
Which in his deer brain, means that you're neglecting him because you're so fried from work
And that means he's gotta fix this
But you're stubbon and won't relax willingly so he's got to get creative
"Darling, won't you take this bubble bath with me? I need help getting my back~"
🥵🥵 s-sure
He takes special care to massage and scrub every part of you until you're a gooey mess in his hands
Despite his claws, he can be surprisingly gentle, it's rather soothing to feel them ghosting over your skin
It's not until later when your back is against his chest and he's kissing your shoulder that you realize he's been spoiling you the entire time
Literally carries you to bed bridal style and dries your body with a loving reverence that makes you blush
"Alastor, I can do this myself-"
"Hush now, let me do this for you..."
Rubs fancy lotions and creams into your skin, massaging until you inevitably fall asleep under his care
Nobody is allowed to wake you or bother you at all for the time being, he'll make sure of it
He finds excuses to interrupt you during your work, forcing you to take breaks
"Darling, I accidentally made too much jambalaya! So I thought I might bring you some as I am quite sure you haven't eaten today~"
"Alastor, I don't have time to-that smells really good..."
It's so good you could cry, devouring the entire thing while he stays and has lunch with you, turning it into a mini date
You didn't even realize how tense were before Alastor showed up, feeling full and relaxed after he gives you a parting kiss
You really don't want him to go, watching him leave with a longing expression
Not him purposefully stealing something you need so that you have no choice but to seek him out
"Have you seen my folder? I can't get back to work without it!"
"Hm? I can't say that I have, but have you seen what a beautiful day it is outside? Why not just skip work today, and we'll take a stroll through Cannibal Town?"
Won't take no for an answer, already looping his arm with yours and marching you outside
It is actually a beautiful day outside
Takes you to all your old haunts and spends all day buying anything you even look at
It feels good to catch up with Rosie and some of your old friends, not having realized how long it's been since you've seen them
He also takes you out dancing, which leaves you tired and sore, but in the best way possible, he was always exciting to dance with
Will carry you home if he has to, will actually find an excuse to do so
"Do your feet hurt? Here, let me carry you~"
You pass out before he puts the blanket over you, soothed by his scent on your pillow
It's not until later when you wake up to him putting your folder back in your bag that you realize what he's been up to
"Alastor..?"
Oh fuck he's been caught
"Darling! I was just-cleaning off your bag and-"
"...just shut up and come back to bed..."
Literally climbs right on top of you and flops on you like he's your own personal weighted blanket
Kissing your neck and shoulders before whispering into your ear with a slightly guilty voice
"Are you angry with me?"
"Mm...not if you keep giving me attention like this..."
Well, he wouldn't want his darling Y/N to start getting angry with him now, would he?
The next day you feel more renewed and refreshed than you have in weeks, waking up tangled in Alastor's arms
You chuckle softly and push some of his hair out of his (totally not pretending) sleeping face, admiring his handsome features
He's a sneaky man who tricks you into relaxing and taking time for yourself because he loves you
And you love him all the more for it
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This one was too cute! I hope you like it
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fanficsformyfaves · 3 months
Text
Or What?
Rhea Ripley x Uso Sister!Reader
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WARNING: SMUT 18+, ANGST, Enemies To Lovers Trope, Confessions, Semi-Public Sex, Use of Nicknames, Oral Sex (R Receiving), Fingering (R Receiving), Orgasm Denial (R Receiving), Degradation and Praise Kink (R Receiving), Mommy Kink, Choking Kink (R Receiving), Strap On Sex (R Receiving), Choking (R Receiving)
PREFACE: Reader has always known Rhea to be arrogant, callous and mean, so it only made sense that she despised the eradicator, especially after what she did to her brother...but what happens when they find themselves in a broom closet alone together?
A/N: Jey and Rhea are feuding in this A/U
Announcer's Dialogue In Bold and Colored!
Texts in Italic, Colored and Bold!
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As I waited for Jey to finish up his match, I hear the sound of boot heels clicking from down the hall and when I turn my head to see who it was, I was immediately vexed.
Rhea fucking Ripley.
I couldn't help but roll my eyes. She was easily the most smug-faced asshole I'd ever met and not only that, she had the audacity to make my brother look stupid in front of the entire world.
I stuff my phone into my back pocket, before crossing my arms over my chest.
"Well, if it isn't little (Y/N) Uso. What's a cute thing like you doing out here by yourself?", she teased.
I simply looked away, ignoring her comment.
"Hm, never took you for the shy type", she said,
Taking a step closer towards me.
"From what I've seen, you're quiet the firecracker", she brushes a hair from my face.
I grab her wrist, staring daggers into her eyes.
"Never...touch me"
She lets out a dark chuckle, using the grip I had on her to yank me closer. Our faces were now merely inches apart.
"Or what, princess?"
"Or...I'll..."
"Mhm, use your words", she whispered,
Leaning down closer to the point her breath brushed against my bottom lip.
What was happening? And why was I not pulling away? I should've...but I just couldn't.
Just as I was desperately trying to regain my composure, the crowd outside goes wild and the speakers go off.
Announcer: And here is your winner...Jey...USOOO!
My brother's theme song began playing and I knew he was just moments away from bursting through the doors.
Shit, if he sees me causing trouble, I'm gonna be in for it. I could already hear him and some guards just around the corner. With seemingly no other option, I push Rhea and myself into the closet directly behind her and close it shut.
"What are you doing?"
"Saving both of our asses", I whispered,
Stepping away from the door. The footsteps were getting closer with each passing second and my heart was pounding so hard, I could barely breathe.
As if getting caught in the hallways wouldn't have been bad enough, I could only imagine what would happen if Jey found us in a literal closet together.
The shadow of his feet stop right in front of the door and I was panicking like I never have before.
"Have y'all seen (Y/N)? She said she'd be waiting right here"
"No, sir, not since before the match started"
"Hm", he hummed dismissively,
Before carrying on towards his dressing room.
Once he was finally gone, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"Jesus, that was close"
"You're telling me", she replied.
That's when I finally noticed her towering figure hunched over behind me, with an arm around my waist and her hand flat on my stomach.
I turn to face her and there we were again.
Her lips almost meeting mine, as our eyes found one another in a tense exchange. I couldn't comprehend much of anything that was happening, but mostly, I was confused at why I wasn't pulling away again.
She humiliated my brother and betrayed him. I had every right to hate her...right?
"You know", she breaks the silence,
"You're awfully adorable, when you aren't staring daggers into me"
There was that stupid smirk again, only this time it affected me differently.
Instead of becoming agitated, I felt a second heartbeat I didn't feel before. Every inch of my skin was overheating at her touch and she knew it.
"Oh...you like this, don't you?"
"What? No-"
"Such a cliche, falling for your brother's enemy"
"I don't-"
"Then how come you aren't shoving me away and telling me to fuck off like you usually do?", she questioned,
Gently turning my body to fully face her, before pinning me to the wall by my arms.
"I think we both know the answer to that question, darling", she whispered,
Ducking her head down on my shoulder, whilst trailing kisses up my neck.
"Just say it. Say you want me and put a rest to this tiring act of pretending like you don't"
Was she right?
Have I just been in denial about the attraction I felt for her and hid behind anger all this time?
I couldn't quite focus on finding a proper explanation, as she reached the lobe of my ear, nibbling on it and forcing a whine out of me.
"God, even the sounds you make are sweet. Wonder if you'll taste as sweet as you sound", she mumbled against me,
Running her hand up my thigh.
"R-Rhea"
"All you have to do is tell me to stop and I will. Is that what you want?"
I contemplated for a moment. This was wrong. Getting involved with someone like her would only ever end in chaos, especially with the bad blood she had with Jey...but in that moment, any voice of reason was no match for the way she was touching me.
"No", I ultimately answered.
"Good"
Not wanting to waste any more of the limited time we had, she finally presses her lips against mine.
They were soft and gentle, which surprised me the most.
One of her hands let off my waist and trailed up my skirt, brushing against my bundle of nerves through the underwear I had on.
I whined against her mouth, which curled up into an excited grin.
"Sensitive, are you? Let's see how long it takes till I have you cumming on my tongue"
Just then, she drops to her knees, flipping up my skirt to take a good look at the mess she was already making of me.
"God, I barely touched you yet", she mocked,
Before pulling my thong to the side and licking up my slick entrance.
"Mmm, so fucking sweet", she praised,
Throwing my thighs over her strong shoulders, so I was sat on top of her. It didn't take long for her lips to wrap around my bundle of nerves, as the grasp she had on my hips tightened with each passing lick.
I intertwined my fingers in her hair, whilst her name repeatedly spilled out of me like a prayer that would never be answered.
Eventually, I feel the tip of two digits press against my slit, before slipping themselves completely inside me with no resistance to stop them.
Her momentum immediately fast and relentless.
Already, the knot in the pit of my stomach began to tighten and threaten to snap. I could tell by the way she smirked over my clit that she knew it too.
"Not so tough when I have you at my mercy, are you? Maybe I shouldn't let you cum", she teased,
"No! Please, don't stop!", I pleaded,
"Good girl", she says,
Continuing her unletting efforts to bring me over the edge, but before she could, voices on the other side of the door interrupts us.
I immediately let out a gasp, causing Rhea to slap a hand over my mouth.
"Jey's looking for (Y/N)"
"Wasn't she just here earlier?"
"Yeah, but I don't know where she went"
The security guards eventually move past the closet and I let out a sigh of relief.
I get off of her, arranging my skirt and she eyes me up in confusion.
"What are you doing?"
"This was a mistake"
She scoffs, getting up and dusting her knees.
"You didn't seem to think this was a 'mistake' when my tongue was wearing you out", she tested,
Pushing my head up with a hooked finger.
"Now...what did you say about me never touching you again?"
I roll my eyes and push her hand away.
"Wait five minutes before I leave", I instructed,
"Whatever you say", she smiled,
Looking down at her feet.
I carefully opened the door, whilst peaking my head out to make sure the coast was clear and once it was, I step out and close it, when I turn back around and was ambushed by my brother.
"Fucking Christ, dude!", I exclaimed,
As my hand went over my chest.
"Aye, language", he warned,
"Sorry"
"Where were you? I've been looking for like twenty minutes"
"The...bathroom"
"For twenty minutes?"
"Yo, what's with the interrogation, dawg? Woman business", I snapped,
"Alright, alright. I was just asking", he throws his hands up in surrender,
"I wanna grab food on the way back, come on", he says,
Putting an arm over my shoulder and walking me out. I quickly glance back at the closet door and prayed it stayed closed till we were out of sight.
Once we got into the car, I was finally left to my thoughts.
The guilt that overwhelmed me was all consuming and burdensome. I had just slept with my brother's nemesis. The person he hated most and here I was, pretending like it didn't happen, as he went on and on about his current win.
In that moment, I get a notification on my phone and I go to see who it was. I didn't recognize the number, but once I saw the text, I knew immediately.
Unknown Number: We should talk about this
Me: There's nothing to talk about
Unknown Number: Oh please, spare me, are you really going back to being in denial?
Me: Denial about what?
Unknown Number: Whatever
Unknown Number: But, when you do come to your senses, you know where to find me, beautiful ;)
I lock my phone and shove it inside my purse with a sigh.
"You good?"
"Yeah, just tired"
"Well, you look tired", he says,
Mimicking the sweat dripping down my face, causing me to hastily swipe it off.
After stopping by at a pizza place for dinner, we head to the hotel and made our way back to the suite.
"That was scrumptious. We needa head back before going home", Jey emphasized,
Opening the door and letting the both of us inside.
"I call the shower first"
"Dude", I go to argue,
"Ah! Winners get special privileges", he mocked.
I roll my eyes and he chuckles at my response, before stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
I lay back against the bed by the window and looked over the entire city.
As breathtaking as the sight was to behold, I was still hung up on Rhea. Why? Why her? Of all the people I could've hooked up with, it had to be fucking Ripley?
As disappointed as I was with myself, I couldn't help but look back at the encounter with a certain sense of reverie.
I'd never been touched like that.
None of the people I'd been with before had ever gotten me that close...I wonder what would've happened if I had just stayed there in that closet with her.
Before I could delve any deeper into my thoughts, I hear my phone go off once again and I already knew who it could be.
Unknown Number: Can't stop thinking about you, precious
God damn it, again with the nicknames.
Me: Rhea, please
Unknown Number: Please what?
Me: We can't do this
Unknown Number: Oh yes, we can
Unknown Number: The only person saying we can't is you
Me: You hurt my brother
Unknown: Hey, he decided to attack Dom, I couldn't just sit idle and let him
Me: Yeah, after the fact he slammed Jimmy with a chair
Unknown: Listen, I have no control over what the boys do
Unknown Number: Nor do I have control over who I want
A frigid chill run up my spine.
Unknown Number: What happened wasn't ideal, I get it
Unknown Number: So allow me make it up to you
Me: How?
Unknown Number: By picking up where we left off of course
Unknown Number: When I had you on the brink of cumming, before we were so rudely interrupted
It was getting harder and harder to resist her tempting.
Me: This is wrong
Unknown Number: Did it feel wrong? When you were begging me to make you unravel on my mouth?
Me: Rhea
Unknown Number: Tell me, when did the regret set in? Was it before or after my fingers found themselves inside you?
The pulsing sensation in my center began to intensify with every text she sent.
Unknown Number: You can lie to yourself all you want, darling
Unknown Number: But we both know that you want me just as much as I want you. I'm just making it easier by admitting it first
Unknown Number: Ball's in your court now, Uso
It took all the strength I had to resist, but it still wasn't enough. I ultimately caved, needing to feel her against me again.
Me: Where are you?
I just knew she was grinning like a wildcat on the other side of the phone.
Unknown Number: Location📍
The hotel she was staying at was only ten minutes away.
Me: Room?
Unknown Number: I'll be in the lobby to let you up. See you, beautiful ;)
I facepalm my forehead.
What was I doing? Once could've been a mistake, but twice? Now, this was betrayal.
Jey steps out of the bathroom, drying off his hair.
"Shower's free"
"Actually, I gotta go. Naomi wants to have a girl's night"
"For real?"
"Mhm", I hesitated,
He contemplates for a moment, before shrugging.
"Aight, just text me when you get there"
I let out a sigh of relief, before grabbing my phone and leaving.
Besides the obvious thoughts going through my head, all I could think about was how conflicted I felt. On one hand, family meant the world to me and out of all of them, Jey was who I was closest with...but on the other hand, there was Rhea. I didn't know what could transpire from this, but I guess I was just gonna have to find out.
Eventually, I got to her hotel and tried my best to avoid any paparazzi by keeping my head down and speed-walking into the lobby. I allow myself a moment to scan the room, before my eyes finally landed on her.
She was sat on one of the couches with elbows resting on her knees and scrolling through her phone.
With one last deep breath, I made my way towards her.
"Hello, there", she grinned,
Looking up at me, as she stood up.
"Hi", I greeted,
Avoiding her piercing gaze.
"I appreciate eye-contact, whilst speaking", she says,
Using my cheek to make me face her. I was already melting into her touch and blushing a bright red hue.
"D'you enjoy the ride?", she questioned,
Causing my eyes to widen.
"The car ride, darling", she teased,
She knew what she was doing.
"How about we get you upstairs?", she suggests.
I nod, as she took my hand and lead me to the elevators.
Once we were inside and the doors close us in, she pushes my hair aside and ducked her head into the crook of my neck, leaving wet kisses lingering on my skin.
"Couldn't stop thinking about earlier. I've never tasted anything better", she murmured,
Gripping my waist.
"R-Rhea", I whined,
Holding onto her shoulders. If the elevator doors hadn't opened just then, we would've had our way with each other right there. We rush towards her room and she uses my body to slam the door shut.
My hands creeping up into her hair, as her teeth tugged on my bottom lip.
I pull my sweater over my head, leaving me exposed to the cool air.
"Goodness", she exhaled,
Cupping the bottom of my breasts and licking my hardening buds. My skin was ablaze and my jaw drops with every moan that fell past my lips.
I go to pull my skirt down, when she stops me by my wrists.
"The skirt stays on"
Fuck, was I dripping.
"But...these need to go"
She reaches up and hooks her fingers around my waistband, yanking my underwear off and helping me out of them.
"I've already gotten a taste, now I need the whole show", she says,
Undoing the buttons of her jeans and revealing the toy already strapped around her waist. My eyes widen and she chuckles at my reaction.
"Like what you see, princess?"
"Y-Yes"
She bites back a smile and carried me to bed, before laying me out against the soft comforter.
"You're such a good girl when you aren't running your mouth", she praised,
Shoving her thumb into it, as I gladly accepted.
She then pulls it away and pressed it against my clit. A gasp rips out of me and my legs clench together, to which she pushes them apart and keeps them in place with her broad shoulders.
"Don't try escaping me now, you wanted this"
As she began rubbing firm circles on my bundle of nerves, my core dripped onto her ready palm.
"You are such an easy brat. All those time of you screaming at me, when you should've been screaming for me. All I had to do was put you in your place", she mocked over my moans.
Eventually, she pulled away and left me whining at the loss of contact.
"Patience"
She trips herself of her pants and tank top and the sight before me was something straight out of my wildest dreams. From her ample breasts, perfect waist and the sweat collecting on her fair skin, I was growing more and more desperate.
"As much as I love seeing you gawk at me, I think we should switch gears"
With one swift motion, she flips me onto my stomach and drags my ass into the air by my hips.
"This ass, babe. God", she mumbles,
Leaning down to place a gentle kiss on one cheek, before biting down hard and smacking the other.
I scream out, gripping the sheets.
Just then, I feel her rubbing the tip of the toy up and down my entrance, furthering the torture.
"How badly do you want this?"
"Please, I need you", I whined,
"Oh...you need this, huh? Think you've earned it?", she challenged,
Yanking me up against her by my throat, squeezing tight.
"Y-Yes, Mami, please!"
With one more wicked grin, she fills me to the hilt. The stretch burning, as I cried out into the air.
Her pace was immediately brutal and relentless, like the grip she had on my neck.
"Such a precious little thing", she praised,
Pounding repeatedly on my g-spot and causing stars to cloud my vision.
She'd been teasing me since the night began, so it should've come as no surprise to me when my walls had already begun pulsing around her.
"So good for me. So fucking good", she growled against my ear.
"I'm gonna cum, Mami, please!"
"Not till I say so"
"Please!"
"Keep whining and I'll make you wait even longer", she threatened.
Not wanting to face those consequences, I bite my tongue and held onto her hips for dear life, digging my nails into her flesh.
By this time, the room was nothing, but the smell of sex, sweat and tear-filled moans. The orgasm that I'd been chasing was now hounding me down and threatening to overwhelm me. It was getting harder to fight it off with each of her harsh thrusts.
I was just surprised we didn't get a noise complaint.
Once she was satisfied with how weak she had me, her hands reaches for my clit once more.
"You look so good this way. Fucked out and drenched in sweat and tears for me. Cum for me, darling. Show mami just how good she makes you feel"
That was the last thing I could make out, when the knot in my stomach finally snapped and pushed me over the edge.
All I could see was a rush of pure white, before falling limp on my stomach, out of breath and gasping for any air my lungs would allow.
She then pulls out of me and discards the toy from her hips. I was then picked up and placed delicately onto her bare chest.
"You did so good, darling", she muttered sweetly,
Wrapping her arms around me and pressing a kiss to my forehead.
Maybe...this wasn't such a bad idea.
I snuggled deeper into her embrace and she welcomed me in with a satisfied chuckle.
"Who knew beneath all that cold exterior was a soft little angel?", she jested,
Making me roll my eyes.
"I'm really glad you came. Well, in that sense, yes, but also you making the trip here", I interrupt with a playful smack to her shoulder.
"I wasn't too rough, was I?"
"It was perfect", I reassured,
Craning my head up to meet her lips.
"About your brother-"
"We don't have to talk about that"
"But we do"
She sits up, as I did the same, covering myself with the comforter.
"It’s always so easy to get caught up in messes, but that doesn't excuse what I did or let happen"
"I love my friends and I'd do anything for them...but not at the cost of someone like you. I've admired you since the day we met. Your passion, your drive and not to mention your everlasting beauty, it seems"
I couldn't help, but blush at her confession.
"Though I'm used to your fiery, protective side, I've also caught glimpses of your heart when I see you care for the people you love...I couldn't deny that"
"So I thought the best way to keep myself away from you was to make you hate me", she continued.
"Because I knew letting myself fall for you was betraying The Judgment Day, when lo and behold, you felt the same all along. We were always so consumed with putting other people first, that we forgot that our own happiness mattered too"
The more she spoke, the more it all made sense.
"And at some point, I couldn't hold back anymore...so I just let it happen. You can tell me that I'm wrong and that nothing that I said made sense, but I know, by that look in your eye, that I'm not"
By the end of her speaking, I was in tears, having felt so seen and understood. I gently cup her face in my hands, kissing her once more.
"You're not wrong", I sniffled,
Pulling back.
"I don't think I would've ever had the courage to say those things to your face"
"Of course, you would've. You're braver than you think"
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miniwheat77 · 11 months
Text
Nasty. (Mean!König x Reader.)
!CW! NSFW, König being a big meanie, rough sex, unprotected sex, slight dub con, poorly translated German, this is short forgive me, (sorry if I missed any.)
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Your nerves are completely shot as you stand in a line. You don’t know why, but he’s so so mean. So mean. He hates you for some reason. Absolutely hates you.
You’re lined up with other Sergeants, waiting nervously as Colonel König passes each of you. “Y/L/N, 50 push ups. im Augenblick.”
You know better than to argue, so you drop to the floor, beginning to do your push ups. Trying not to cry. You wish you could just know why he’s so mean to you. You just didn’t understand, you’d never done anything. You were always kind to him. Always obeyed him. When you finish your push ups, he’s excused everyone else and he’s watching you intently. “Colonel.” You ask, out of breath. He looks at you. “Can I ask why you gave me 50 push ups?” He stands there, eyes dark as he stares upon you.
“50 more.” He breathes. “Now.” A sigh leaves your lips and you obey him, dropping down to your knees again and propping yourself up. “When you’re finished you can go to bed.” He breathes. You choose to ignore him, tired of the way he’s treating you. He walks away down the hallway, but watches to make sure you actually finish your push ups. You do. He smirks to himself. You stand up when you finish and walk down the hallway to your room. You don’t understand.
A couple days later, you wait patiently for an order. You’ve been burned out completely, he’s making you run laps around the base and your eyes are burning from the sweat dripping down your face. The sun is beating down on you and he won’t let you stop for anything. He disappeared a while ago and you haven’t seen him. Your vision starts to blur, and you look confused. Legs slowing to a stop against your will. You start to see other colors, brighter colors filling your vision. That’s all you remember.
König forgot. He went inside for a second and he was going to head back out to relieve you but he got distracted. He’s sitting in his office when he hears yelling, and stands up to peek outside. Curious what the commotion is. He sees another Sergeant bursting through the door carrying you, and his stomach falls. “I need a medic!” He calls. Others flood the hallway and a medic appears. They’re rushing you back to the infirmary. “What’s going on?” She asks. “I don’t know, I found her outside passed out.”
She sighs. “She’s having a heat stroke, we need to cool her temperature down.” König walks away from the infirmary. He knows he’s a little extreme sometimes.
“My office, now.” His stern voice sends chills up your spine. You follow after him.
He closes the door behind you and walks around you, staring you down. “I said 50 push ups.” He crosses his arms. “I will do them, but I want to know why first.” You breath. He mumbles something under his breath in German, you don’t hear him. “Now.” He breathes. “No.” You breathe. “I deserve to know why.” He let’s out a deep chuckle and you know you’re digging yourself a hole, but you’re tired of this. “You listen to me, girl.” He growls. “I don’t have to explain myself. I don’t have to tell you why. I say jump, you fucking jump.” He growls. “dummes Mädchen.” He growls. You know what he’s just said. “Fuck you.” You growl. His eyes snap to you, wide. He’s pissed. In one second, he’s got you slammed up against a wall. Hand around your throat. He’s watching you turn a shade of red. “Fine. You want to fucking disobey me?” He breathes. You can feel his spit particles landing on your face. He’s seething. “Ich zeige dir, was ich mit bösen Mädchen mache.” He growls, he lets go of your throat and spins you around. Forcing you down onto his desk.
Your eyes widen as he tears your cargo pants down your legs, forcing them down. What is this? Why is he reacting like this? You feel the tip of his cock nudging at your entrance and in one hard thrust, he forces his cock into you and a gasp gets stuck in your throat as he starts to thrust himself into you. He’s stretching you and it hurts. Tears prick your eyes at the intrusion, a cry leaving your lips.
Luckily your body gets used to him. Your hands clutch his desk and he groans out. Hands holding your hips in a death grip, sure to leave bruises in their wake. His belt rattles violently with each of his brutal thrusts, the massive man makes you look small. Watching the way your pussy stretches around his massive cock has his eyes rolling back. You’re quiet for a while, but his thrusts halt immediately when a moan leaves your lips. He spins you around, pupils blown out. He can’t believe his ears. “Do you like this?” He asks. You’re leaning up against his desk, body exposed to his judgmental eyes. You stay quiet which earns a sharp slap to your cheek. You nod your head shyly. He grasps your thighs, forcing you back onto his desk again, returning his cock to your weepy hole. He thrusts in again and you cry out. “Ah! König please- slower please-“ you whimper. “You can take it, we both know you can.” He growls. He squeezes your breasts too hard and you whimper out, he’s so mean. “You like when I’m mean to you, dumme Hure” he growls. “You like when I bully your slutty pussy. I know how wet you get for me when I’m mean to you. You like it. So take it. Nimm mich, du verdammte Schlampe”
A cry leaves your lips as he bullies your cunt. Thrusting into you hard, not giving you anytime to adjust to him or his massive size. His desk is sliding across the floor with a violent screech, it doesn’t phase him. Not even a little bit. His groans that he’s letting out, they’re something different. You’ve never heard him being pleasured before, only angry at you. Maybe this is how you could make him happier. Maybe this is how you fix him being mean to you. You’ve got a death grip on his desk, his cock is pushing into your cervix and it’s too much. Bordering uncomfortable but you don’t dare tell him that. You keep your legs open for him, letting him use you. His moans are getting a little more desperate. Whimpers almost. “Oh fuck, so tight.” He gasps. He pushes one of your legs up a little higher, cock sliding even further into you. How on earth you were handling him was beyond you. You can’t help as your eyes start to water, tears beginning to spill from your eyes at the intensity of his massive cock. He’s overwhelming you. You can’t help it. “König?” You ask. “What?” He growls, “can I cum?” You whimper. You can see the way the small wrinkles around his eyes form, he’s smiling. “Now that’s a good girl, asking for permission.” He breathes. “Just a little longer.” He breathes.
You’re right on the edge. He’s pushing you over it quickly and you don’t know if you can hold on. “Ich sagte, warte”
You nod your head eagerly and he’s smiling down at you again. His cock twitches slightly and he’s about to cum. “Cum now, Liebling” he mumbles. You fall apart completely beneath him. Thighs shaking, body shivering. Chills arising on your skin. Your eyes roll back and you’re sucked into another dimension for a minute. The sound of him panting is bringing you back down to earth. He slides out of you and you let out a gasp. Realizing what’s just happened, he’s cum in you. Your eyes widen slightly. Worry filling you up.
“Get dressed and go clean up.” He orders. You nod your head, obeying him immediately.
The feeling that settles into your chest, sadness. Because no matter how much you offered your body up for him. Your holes, he was always just going to be mean.
1K notes · View notes
lyssaluvs · 4 months
Note
Hi can you do a Percy Jackson x female reader.she is the daughter of Aphrodite
A little background Percy has this puppy love towards her.she has a fondness towards him but oddly enough even though she is the daughter of Aphrodite she comes off as cold.Ok so this takes place episode five of the series and they are arguing about who will sit in the golden chair.when he sits down and is turned into gold she tries her hardest to get him out.She has the talk with Hephaestus like how Annebeth did in the show.When Percy comes out of chair is was able to hear everything she ways saying.Figuring out she actually does really like him.
Trying Not to Love You - Percy Jackson
Summary: As above.
Warnings: Like one naughty word and a lil peck. Use of Y/n (Idk if that counts)
A/N: This is my first piece of writing so pls be nice, and pls leave feedback. Also, I know logically that they're like 12 and have probably known each other for like two weeks and therefore don’t actually love each other, but for the sake of the story, we're ignoring that. Also x2, I know Nickelback gets hate but they go hard and I'm DONE acting like they don't. (Listen to Trying Not to Love you, which is what this made me think of)
WC: 1.4k (I got carried away 😔)
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For a daughter of Aphrodite, I sure don’t seem like one. My siblings and I get along just fine, but no one can deny the differences between us. We differ in that where my siblings are outgoing, smiley, and warm, I happen to be more reserved, more introverted. Many suggest I’m colder than my siblings, but that’s not the case. I’m just wary, and if that presents as being cold, so be it. We share traits, of course. We’re kind, socially aware, and well… beautiful. And with that, often comes an onslaught of suitors. Sure, I had a few, but none that I ever felt drawn to. And none that stuck out quite like Percy Jackson did.
“He’s staring again.” My sister said as she nudged my side. I look up from my plate and meet his gaze. He sends a panicked smile before a blush spread across his cheeks and he quickly looks back down at his food.
“Poor thing looks like a kicked puppy, you should talk to him, put him out of his misery.” My sister continues. I hum and tilt my head before getting up to make my way toward the fire. I scrape the last of my brisket off my plate as I hear him approach.
“Uh, hi.”
“Hi Percy.”
“It’s, uh, pretty warm out, huh. Not all that pleasant standing by the fire. Maybe we should, I dunno, go for a walk? By the lake maybe?” He presses his lips together and looks at me with those puppy dog eyes. Were his eyes always that pretty? No. Stop it.
“Sorry Percy, we’re having girls night in our cabin tonight, I can’t” I quickly explain. Sure, it’s not nice to lie, but it has to be done. What are my options? Keep saying no until he loses interest, or give in to the temptation, and eventually have to break his heart? He doesn’t deserve that. The former it is.
I quickly make my way back to my cabin, and into bed.  Not turning around to see that he does, in fact, look like a kicked puppy.
---
“Y/n”
My head snaps up and I quickly glance around. What? Me?
“Customarily, one waits to at least hear a name or two before choosing. Are you sure you don’t want to hear more?” Chiron states apprehensively
Apparently not… I think to myself as Percy goes on a spiel about how he must choose those he trusts most. Why me?
---
Cold, wet, and coughing. That pretty much sums up my state right about now. Somehow, I had made it out of the water when I surely thought I was going to drown. Had that been Percy?
I fumble my way off the ground, taking Percy’s outstretched hand.
“Are you ok? You’re not hurt?” He rushes out as he looks me up and down franticly.
“I’m fine, Percy. Thank you.”
“Yeah, no, of course. Sorry if I was too rough, I’m kinda making it up as I go along.”
I just smile as we direct our gaze to the grand, golden statue in front of us. There it was, the shield we’d almost drowned to get to our hands on.
“How are we supposed to get that thing down?”
I look between the statue and the chair that say at its feet. “These things are connected somehow. It’s a machine, but how do you start the machine?” I say as I scan the mechanism for any clues.
Percy seems to retreat into his mind for a moment before coming to a realisation. “It was a gift with a hidden purpose. Hephaestus offered it to Hera, but as soon as she sat in it, she couldn’t get up.”
Percy continued to explain, and it finally clicked. One of us has to sit in it. One of isn’t getting out of it.
“I’ll do it.” I say without thinking. I didn’t need to think about it, it was a no-brainer. Between the two of us, Percy needs to continue, and for some reason I don’t let myself delve into, I have no objections giving my life for his.
“What? Wait a minute!” He grabs my wrist to stop me from proceeding towards the chair.
“No, Percy. It’s me or you, and I’m not going to let it be you.”
“Y/n, no! I brought you on this quest because I couldn’t bear the thought of you not being by my side. I didn’t want to go anywhere you wouldn’t be.” He let go of my hand and I immediately missed his touch.
“Percy- “
“Y/n. Listen to me. It’s ok. Even if you sit in the chair, the outcome would be the same. A piece of me would go with you, and I’d be no use to the quest. You’re strong. You don’t need me.”
He took a lunge and planted himself firmly in the chair. Molten gold crawled its way up his legs and I could hear cogs and wheels spinning within the machine. Oh gods, this is really happening.
“Percy, stand up! This isn’t funny, Percy, please!”
“It’s ok. It’s ok, Y/n. I’m ok.”
And just like that the gold had made its way across his face and it was done. He’d been turned into a statue, and it was my fault.
The shield dropped to floor with an echo, but I barely heard it. I need to fix this.
I made my way around to the back of the chair and dropped to my knees. I brushed my hands across the machine, praying to whoever would listen. Mum, please. Help me out here.
And just like that, a man had appeared at the platform above the statue.
“Hephaestus” I heard a small voice whisper, from nowhere, yet everywhere.
Thanks, Mum. I won’t let you down.
“Can I help you? Do you need some help finding your way out?” He played a melodic tune on his harmonica and a ladder appeared, leading up to the platform.
“I���m not leaving without him, Hephaestus. And if you’re not going to help me, can you please leave me alone so I can focus?”
“In spite of what you may have been told, I am not someone who can be pushed around.”
I let out a sigh and deflated my shoulders. Tears blurred my vision, but I pulled them back. Now isn’t the time, I need to focus.
“Hephaestus, please. I can’t do this without him, despite what he may think. I know you know how this feels. To love someone you know you can’t have. But you got another chance when the gods gave you my mother, I won’t be afforded such a luxury. My mother has been more than generous giving me someone like him, someone I don’t deserve. I won’t get that again. I’ll never find someone like him, never love someone like I love him. Please, Hephaestus, I’m begging. Let him go. Let me have him, let me love him.”
The man hung his head. I couldn’t tell if he was moved by what I had said, or if it just pissed him off. I just hope to the gods I wasn’t the latter. He turned his back and I mirrored him in hanging my head. I had failed.
Another note played from his harmonica and my ear perked up, along with my hope. I shot to my feet as I heard the gears in the chair start to move. Making my way around to the front of the chair, I saw him again. Those sea green, puppy dog eyes I had tried so hard not to love. He took a gasping breath as the last of the gold melted off of him.
He stood from the chair and immediately pulled me into an embrace. Without thinking, I let myself hug him back, indulging in his hold for once.
“I heard you.”
“What?”
“I heard what you said when I was in the chair, Y/n.”
What??? Oh fuck…
He moved his hands from my shoulders to my cheeks and rested his forehead against mine. “I feel the same, you know I do. And I know you don’t want to let yourself feel that way, because you think you’ll break my heart, but I don’t care. Please, Y/n, let yourself love me. Gods know I let myself a long time ago.”
I stared into his eyes at a loss for words. I placed my hands on either side of his face and pressed my lips to his.
“I’ll take that as-”
I just kissed him again.
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credit to @cafekitsune for the divider!!!
632 notes · View notes
dashofmonsters · 5 months
Text
Dreamers & Delusions- Pt. 2
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Merman x Female Reader
"I'll have to go into hibernation if it gets too cold or if I can't find something to do. The acclimation program already knows about my kind and our issues with the cold so they have accommodations for winter," he explains.
"Well I hope it doesn't get too cold then, would be a bummer if I couldn't come see you," you smile at him.
Tao's eyes go wide for a second before he clears his throat, "Yes well it would indeed be a bummer... Especially since we have just decided to be friends."
"Right?" you beam.
You and Tao talk and talk almost to the point where it's just about silly things or what he's struggling with during his acclimation. You find out he's a very literal person who has issues the most with slang, metaphors, and emotes. He lives in a rental that's about a couple miles away from the beach and he usually walks to work or the local grocery store since he can't fit into normal vehicles.
After a little bit of work though you find out an even more endearing side to him, he likes to try his hand at cooking ever so often. Though he prefers his meat raw, he likes the idea of charring the outside and adding bits of flavor. He was a little embarrassed to admit it but you found out it's because his father was supposed to show him how to create a feast to impress a mate per tradition.
You didn't press as to why his father didn't teach him seeing he was already uncomfortable enough to admit it. So you decided to share a bit of something uncomfortable about yourself.
"My mom never taught me how to do a lot of basics that most parents are supposed to teach their kids. I had to watch a lot of how to videos and make myself look like an idiot if I messed up or didn't know something. A lot of people assumed I was stupid or had no common sense. I just didn't have a point of reference and I hated being ignorant but I was judged for my short comings and no one ever helped," you admit.
Tao nods and gives you his first, though very small, smile.
"Is that why you are forgetting things constantly?" he asks with the slightest smirk.
"Yeah...sure," you feel a bit embarrassed by his question, but you'll never confess that you 'forgot' those things just as an excuse to talk to him.
"I see, I will take that into account that due to your upbringing that you just don't think about these things and I will stop being annoyed by it," he nods.
"You were annoyed," now you feel a little hurt.
"Of course I was, but no more than I usually am," he shrugs.
"That doesn't sound fun," you grimace. "You can't just be annoyed all the time."
"I'm not annoyed when I'm at home," he says.
"Lucky," you laugh.
"Why? Are you unable to be at peace at home too?" he gives you a look of genuine concern then.
His number one thing seems to be peace. He's a no nonsense guy who just wants to go about his day with no hiccups. His life honestly seems perfect compared to your at times.
"Only when I'm sleeping or about to leave for work. Peace... that doesn't come easy to someone like me," you frown.
Tao studies you then as he drops to your eye level. You should feel super uncomfortable but for some reason you don't mind. He stares hard at your face and scans it until he nods.
"You do look very tired," he says.
You can't help but to laugh at his observation, "Tao, I'm going to let you in on a secret: I'm always tired."
"That is unhealthy," he scowls.
"Yup and there's nothing I can do about it," you shrug.
"Yes there is, you could go home and sleep," he says, almost ordering you to do so.
That's when you can't help but to crack up. It's horrible that this is how you cope, but it is.
"If I went home to sleep right now, my grandmother would give me an earful about being lazy," you laugh.
Tao doesn't laugh, he doesn't smile, doesn't do anything except stand up slowly and prowl over to you.
You shut up real quick thinking something is wrong until he picks you up. You yelp, being carried in one arm at his hip like a sack of rice.
"What are you doing?!" you squawk as you sway when he shifts to carry you princess style.
He doesn't say anything until he sets you down onto your tie dye towel.
"Rest, I'll make sure no one bothers you while you're here," he says.
You can't help but feel a mix of emotions then. Your eyes water a little but you swipe away any moisture before a tear falls.
"Thank you, that's probably the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a long while," you smile at him.
And Tao in all his Taoness, just nods.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Tao really meant it when he said no one would bother you while you were on the beach.
The day after he said that, you had what was possibly the best beach nap you've ever had thanks to Tao brining you a beach chair with your name on it. Literally.
At first it felt weird that he'd go that far just for you to get a beach nap but you guessed it might be some cultural thing and as far as Tao said, you're his only friend. You thanked him and didn't think much of it until the day after that.
A group of teenagers were playing volleyball a little too roughly and one of the guys fumbled and the ball got you right on the head even though you did your best to dodge it. The boys tried to apologize but Tao gave them an earful about respect and being more spatially aware.
That too was normal for Tao though he was a bit harsher than usual. Unfortunately it got worse.
Yesterday was a blessed off day. No work, your grandmother was out thrifting to her heart's content, and all your bills had been paid. You were excited to head to the beach but that excitement was short lived.
The first thing you noticed was that your chair was pulled a little closer to the guard tower. Next was that Tao wasn't in the tower but leaning against the ladder like he was expecting some shit to hit the fan any second. And finally, the group of muscle hunks posing as they flexed for the cameras.
Apparently some magazine decided this spot was the perfect location for some weird gym rat protein powder ad photo shoot and to make matters worse, they tried to rope Tao into it.
Before you sat down though, Tao made a bit of a scene by scooting your chair even closer to the tower while making eye contact with one of the big buff dudes.
You told him he was being a bit extra to which he said he was only being cautious as they had been eyeing you since you started walking down the beach. You rolled your eyes, ready to tell him that there's no way they'd be interested in you until he thrusted a binder in your direction.
It was a detailed list of ingredients, dishes, and recipes commonly enjoyed by all saltwater merfolk with a few dishes his kind liked the most. You had almost forgot that he said he'd make this list for you so when he gave it to you, you almost cried.
You thanked him and started fanning through the pages and noticed his hand writing was especially nice on dishes that his people particularly enjoyed. You gave him a quick side eye and smiled.
These are probably his personal favorites, you think.
As you started to skim through the recipes with the neatest hand writing a shadow fell over you.
It was one of the buff guys.
He gave you the most generic social media fake ass grins ever and you couldn't help the eye roll. He started to introduce himself but was hardcore interrupted when Tao drove him into the ground like a fucking bull.
Tao and the buff guy started hashing it out until his bros came and peeled him away from the fight. It was the first time you really really saw Tao's teeth. Sharp and pointy like a shark's and then there was the spike like fins on his lower arms and legs. He looked like a mad dog ready to rip someone in half.
You heard one of the photographers comment on how territorial some of the fair folk can be with places or people they claim as their own.
If that was the case, then you guessed it might have to do with your friendship with Tao. If it wasn't, then he's about the get a stern talking to.
~~~~~~
"He was bothering you, I don't see why you're upset with me," Tao says after you lectured him about yesterday.
"I'm upset you dingbat because shit like that can get you sent back to your home realm! Do you think I want my friend to get deported over shit like that," you poke his arm, but it ends up being a jab.
Tao opens his mouth then closes it. He looks around a bit then let's out a long sigh "I'm sorry. I really don't know what's come over me. After I moved here, I didn't have my shoal. My sponsor checks on me maybe once every three months since he's been busy working with another merman who's been trying to get his pass here. I guess the loneliness drove me a bit crazy."
Now you feel bad for making him feel bad but you hope your gift will more than make up for it. You worked all morning long on it, double checking to make sure the meat was ready and perfect right before you left the house and that the sea greens were cooked and seasoned just right.
"Well moving past that, I brought you something," you take out the lunch box and show it to Tao.
He looks down right shocked as he goes to reach for it. He carefully removes the lid and his eyes stare hard at the contents.
"You made this... for me," his voice is soft and quiet and you can hear the pain behind it. He hesitates for a moment then takes a slice of the thin cut beef and pops it in his mouth. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back and swallows. He's quiet for a minute and you're afraid you messed up and he's too nice to tell you other wise.
"Tao if it's bad you can just tell me, I can take the criticism," you tell him, ready for the critical blow.
Instead he tilts his head back down and opens his eyes. The whites are now all black which makes his yellow irises pop even more so.
"My friend, if this was bad I would have spat it out," he grabs two more slices and then a few more practically stuffing his face like a kid who was caught with a bag of candy.
You watch as he eats everything, savoring every bite like he hasn't had a decent meal in ages. His harsh features soften as he takes the last bite and licks his fingers clean. For some reason you focus on him as he rolls the sauce off of his fingers and onto his tongue.
Bad lonely thoughts, Tao is our friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
"So was it good?" you ask, though you can probably guess the answer by the clean plate.
"If I was mermaid being offered a feast, I'd allow you the honor to continue courting me," he jokes.
"Oh what an honor," you laugh.
For the first time since you've met him he laughs back. You can't help but stare at him and feel a smile build up that hurts your cheeks.
"Thank you, really. I have tried and tried to create something that tastes like home but it was never quite right. It was either too salty or I over cooked the meat or the greens were under cooked somehow. This is pretty close to the flavors of my shoal. I didn't realize how much I missed this," he looks down at the empty lunch box with a mix of emotions.
Something in you feels for him. You haven't had a taste of home in forever but your problem is that you're pretty sure that it would make you physically sick instead of homesick. Home never felt like home, here didn't feel like home until you met Jessica and Tao.
Jessica made you her to die for pie for you birthday which you almost threw up from over drinking when she took you bar hopping for your birthday. Tao gave you an amazingly detailed binder of saltwater mer foods and recipes.
You can't think of anything better than food that brings all sorts of peoples together, human or the fair folk.
"Well, I can't do it all the time but I can at least make you a boxed lunch once a week, how does that sound," you smile at him.
"If it weren't for the fact that you're human and my friend I'd think you were trying to court me," he laughs. "But yes, that sounds good."
You play slap him and he laughs again.
~~~~~~~~~
"For the last time Jes, there's nothing romantic going on between Tao and I," you roll your eyes as Jessica gives you her biggest grin.
"Uh huh, sure girl. Maybe you don't see it that way, but guys don't risk getting deported for just friends and not just once. This is what, the second offence? He's lucky that he's, oh what did you say? A combination of a bookish mafia boss, the inspiration for the statues of deities and all around hotty mchot hot hot," she wriggles her brows at you before popping another slice of gum in her mouth.
You snort laugh, "I did not say that last one Jes."
"No, but you were thinking it," she raises a brow and twirls around till she's behind the counter.
"Listen, I can find him physically attractive and still not want more than a friendship. Plus he hasn't come onto me so I'm pretty sure he's not into me like that," you sigh and continue cleaning the table you just cleared.
Jessica hums something and clicks her tongue, "Girl you do know he's not human right? That he might have been coming onto you from the get go without you realizing it? Shoot for that matter he might not even realize it himself."
That has you curious now.
"What do you mean by that," you look over you shoulder to see Jes twirling a red curl.
"Oh you know, that the fair folk believe in fated mates and things like that," she gives you a cheesy grin and blushes a little.
You do know about the fated mates thing, it's one of the reasons a lot of fair folk, especially the guys, flocked to this realm in droves once the rift border opened up. With the fae it was pretty easy to tell once the bond clicked which wasn't always immediately. Their calm and calculated appearance would become wild and untamed. They would get quickly territorial and easily violent towards anyone who came close to their mate. A mark would usually show above the heart and a matching one would appear on their mate once their bond was consummated.
As for merman, no one had any idea what to look for since they just started coming this side as of a few years ago.
"Yes, I'm well aware about that. So what does that have to do with him not know if he's coming onto me," you ask.
"They know it deep down and act on it sometimes. They don't even realize they're courting you half the time or that they have this desire to want to be with you. It's hardcore ingrained into their DNA or something, I don't know. But it sounds to me that he is indeed into you. You're both just too oblivious to see it. Unlike Artek," Jes grins at the mention of her wild fae lover's name and sighs.
And suddenly her weird school girl crush behavior makes sense.
"Jes, did you and Artek.... Wait a sec, are you and-"
Jessica folds down her top just enough for you to see part of a swirling mark above her heart. She shakes in place with the goofiest smile you've ever seen on her.
"Just found out last night. Oh and he did not want to let me go," she places a hand on her forehead and feigns being scandalized. "But I have to go to work. He threatened to come in and tear Mikey a new one if he so much as thinks he can schedule me during my bond week," she give a vicious grin then.
The fae took about a week to celebrate their mate bond here, which was a much shorter version of their actual month long festivity of it. Mates were so rare on their side for some reason but here it was becoming as normal as two humans getting married. It just happened, but it was equally special if not more so.
Regardless, you were happy for Jes. Mikey tried to take everything from her in their divorce but got next to nothing after a detective brought in proof of his multiple affairs. That's why he's such an ass to her here.
"So, when's your bride feast huh? Gonna go all out," you turn to her and cross your arms.
Jessica goes into great detail about what she wants to do for the rest of the shift. That Artek has invited his large ass family this side to celebrate and that he's already started sourcing materials for their marriage bed. It was more than obvious that she's over the moon and can't get over the fact that she's found the one after years of dealing with a heartache.
Mikey tried to shut her down but several of the fair folk patrons snapped at him saying that it's a blessing that her and Artek found one another and he shouldn't discourage her happiness. His flustered face was priceless.
~~~~~
"Hey grandmama, I'm home," you shout as you slide your shoes off at the door.
Your grandmother's house is unusually quiet for this time of day when she's usually scrolling through her phone while listening to her soap operas. You look around and the livingroom is empty and so is the kitchen. You're about to call her when you see a note on the fridge saying Gayle has whisked her away for margaritas with the girls.
"Fuck me sideways and call me bob," you rake your fingers over your face in frustration. As much as you can't stand her normal antics you loath her when she's drunk. If you're lucky, Gayle will have her spend the night at her house until their hangovers wear off. If you weren't, there's a nice beach with your name on it.
Typically you'd go there after work but you're tired and you have the house to yourself right now. So you stretch and crack open the fridge and start preparing for a blissful night of snacking and binge watching some of your favorite shows.
~~~~
Hours pass and you get a text from Gayle that she's taking your grandmother home with her since she's had one too many and sends you a pic of your grandmother trying to put a dollar bill in a male strippers strap.
"Thanks for the mental scarring Gayle, just what I needed," you text back to her knowing she'll get the joke.
Gayle was a close family friend and was more like a grandmother to you than your biological one was at times. She was sweet and caring with a crazy sense of humor and infectious laughter. You sometimes wish you lived with her but she travels too much and she likes her alone time just as much as she like partying.
You squirm in your grandmother's recliner and grab a bag of chips getting ready for the next show until you hear a frantic knock at your door.
The bag flies out of your hand due to your shock reflex and you place a hand over your heart.
The knocking continues as you rush to the door to check through the peephole. You can't see nothing.
"Who is it?" you ask.
"It's me, are you ok," you hear Tao's voice.
You pause, not remembering if you ever told him where you live aside from the general direction. You slowly open the door and look up at him. He looks worried out of his mind.
"Tao, are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost buddy," you ask him.
His hair is all messed up and he's breathing fast and hard, trying to catch his breath and his tan skin looks like he worried himself sick.
"You didn't come to the beach today. You've been coming everyday except when it rains. I thought something happened," he frowns.
"Oh uh well, no I'm fine. My grandmother is out tonight so I thought I'd enjoy a night in since this rarely happens," you explain.
"I see, ok... That's good then. As long as you're alright," he nods and sighs as he leans against the top of the door frame.
A crack of thunder peels off in the distance causing Tao to flinch. He looks even more worried then.
"Sounds like rain," you comment.
"Yes, I... I should get going then, I don't want to accidentally transform back to my other form while walking home. It'd be very inconv-"
Before he finishes that thought lightning bursts through the sky and the little misting sprinkle turns into a torrential downpour.
Tao groans and looks resigned as he's about to turn to leave but you quickly stop him.
"Hey you can stay here for tonight if you want to wait out the rain," you tell him.
He looks to you like that's possibly the dumbest thing you could say.
"That sounds inappropriate," he glares at you. "Inviting an unmated male into your house is never wise."
"Tao we're friends and adults. I'm pretty sure I can trust you to keep your hands to yourself unless you've had ulterior motives from the get go," you cross your arms and stare up at him.
"It is still unwise," he nods, being firm.
"Oh so then you do have ulterior motives," you raise a brow.
"I never said that," he grimaces.
"Then there's no problem if you don't. Come on, get your ass in here," you open the door all the way and beckon him inside.
You hear him groan as he accepts his defeat while walking in. He struggles with the low ceiling, well low for him as he shuts the door.
"Is this your first time in a human house," you ask, leading him to the livingroom.
"Yes, it's very uh small and compact," he notes.
You get the compact part as your grandmother is a bit of a tidy hoarder, the small thing, that's probably due to his height.
"Well mi casa su casa. Well more like mi abuela's casa su casa, but still, make yourself at home," you say then try to offer him something warm to eat and drink.
Tao tries to deny any offers but you snap back saying it's rude to deny your hostess the honor of taking care of her guest. Tao eventually resigns and you bring him a warm cup of tea. As you go to the kitchen to make him something to eat he asks if he can watch you. You agree and start pulling ingredients left and right.
You get fully into the zone as you start preparing the food. You glance over at Tao ever so often just to see that he's fixated on your process. As you start cooking you notice the whites of his eyes turn black again. He sniffs the air and his pupils dilate.
"Want to try a bite," you offer him a piece and he takes it with no hesitation and scarfs it down. His nails which are sharp and pointed seem a bit longer and more pointier now. His expression looks more predatory than normal and some of his spikey fins have started protruding.
Guess that means he's really hungry.
"Give me just a few more minutes and dinner will be ready ok," you tell him as you continue on with his meal.
Tao just nods and stares daggers at pan. You feel like if you let him he'd lunge at it with reckless abandon and eat everything in record timing.
After a little bit you scoop the meat into a bowl and hand it to him. He looks at it and takes in a deep whiff before carefully grabbing a bite. He looks like he's holding back going ham on the food and you're wondering if he's trying not to scare you by going into some weird merman feeding frenzy.
"Hey if you need to eat however you want to eat, go ahead. I can just uh go into another room if you want some privacy or someth-"
Tao grabs a handful of the meat and stuffs his face with it. His pupils nearly engulf his irises making his eyes look pitch black. He tears into the strips of meat like a crazed hungry animal. The juices and sauce start dripping down his arms and you roll your eyes at the mess.
"I'm going to get you a towel, that stuff'll get sticky after a while," you say as you walk towards to laundry room.
Tao grunts and consumes some more meat.
As you get to the laundry room you smack yourself over the head for having another bout of terrible lonely girl thoughts.
Tao, smack.
Is, smack.
Just, smack.
A, smack.
Friend, smack.
You should not be even more attracted to him after that feeding frenzy trance thing he just went in and yet you can't stop thinking about it.
"God, does that mean I'm depraved," you question yourself. "Or does this just mean I'm weird and anything goes right now in my lonely haven't had sex in ages mind?"
Probably a bad mix of both...
You sigh and grab a towel and turn only to be met with a brick wall.
"Oh hey, are you done," you ask, praying that he didn't hear you questioning your sexual sanity.
He nods and cocks his head and points to the towel.
"Yeah, um here," you hand it to him and he slowly but carefully cleans himself off.
"So there's a guest bedroom in the back. Bed is probably a bit small for you even though it's a king size. It gets cold at night since my grandmother has the a/c on a schedule so I'll bring you some extra blankets," you tell him as you turn to go show him the room.
He quietly follows you and steps slowly into the room, smelling and inspecting it. You leave him be while you go grab a large comforter and a few throw blanket for him. When you come back he's already curled under the covers with his feet barely sticking out. As you go to lay another layer over him he snatches you and pulls you into the covers with him.
You flail about for a bit until you hear what you're pretty sure in a purr. You kick up the covers to see Tao asleep now and honest to gods purring. He pulls you in closer and just cuddles you. He's mentioned a few times that when someone gets cold that his shoal will form basically cuddle piles to stay warm. Maybe that's it and maybe he's also really homesick. He said he can never go back though...
"Just this once, jeeze. Not letting you go into a feeding frenzy next time I give you food," you snort laugh and try to relax against Mr. Brick wall.
Tao shifts a bit till he's holding you close enough that you can hear his heartbeat. He moves the covers and extra blankets back up and slowly drifts back to sleep.
You're a little jealous of how fast he can nod off but eventually you start dozing in and out.
He's probably going to flip the fuck out about this in the morning. Well, we'll deal with it then...
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merchelsea · 6 months
Text
sacrifice - lando norris
pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
summary: you and lando have a long distance relationship due to your hard work. you rarely have free time to attend to his races, the only one you actually attend every year is monaco's. you understand things will have to change when lando gets into a crash and that makes you want to be there with him at everytimes.
author’s note: i hate making myself go through this.
word count:
warnings: lets pretend lando crashed duriung the interlagos gp, not the LA one, for the sake of the plot :)
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"hey, babe!" you mumbled as you stirred from your nap. originally meant for a quick rest before the race, it turned into a marathon of sleep that spanned the entire duration of the race. checking the timing, you muttered, "shit."
"were you asleep?" he chuckled.
"yeah... I'm sorry babe. I was just trying to catch up on some sleep debt before the race. I am just tired..." you explained with a low rumble. lando always had a away of understanding things. "anyways, how did it go?"
"not so well, i am kind of glad that you didn't watch it, you would've freak out unnecessarely." he sighed
"why? what happened?" you sat up, eyes squeezed shut in alarm.
"it was nothing serious, just a crash." he reassured. the word 'crash' froze you, an unsettling feeling settling in your chest. "I'm fine now; I'm at the hospital doing some tests."
you didn't answer him and he immediately sensed your worry, it was your usual reaction whenever he had an incident. it was your own way to deal with stuff. "I'll have to stay here in brazil for some extra days. we don't want to rush things. everything is alright, but still."
"yeah, I know. how are you feeling? any pain? wasit bad? why are you at the hospital? is there anything they're worried about?" your thoughts rushed out, anxiety evident. you wished you could've been there with him, knowing how much he disliked going through hospitalization alone.
"calm down, baby. I'm fine, no pain. they gave me painkillers for my headache," he began, his voice carrying weariness and sadness. "the crash felt horrible from inside the car, but I've seen the footage, and it wasn't that bad. I don't think they're worried about anything specific, just my racing career," he added with a hint of self-deprecating humor.
"shut up. you know those jokes aren't funny, right?" you retorted, hating his tendency for such jokes. "anyways, I miss you so much. you have no idea." placing your phone on the bed, you awaited his response as you searched for your notebook.
"I know babe, I miss you like crazy too. and i won't be able to be home for some more days, as i told you. i hate it." you both sighed. "but it's okay, i'm glad you weren't here this time."
although you felt the honesty in his words, you could also know that it was pure bullshit. he wanted you to be there more that anything, and the fights you two had over the past weeks showed that clearly.
lando felt your support fading away and, as always, he talked about it with you, but there was nothing you could do, you could not just leave your work and follow him around the world.
your life had to come first. you couldn't be financially dependent. you had never wanted that for yourself.
"I love you, lando. you know that, right?"
"i know. I love you too." anuncomfortable silence lingered, more apparent to him than to you, as you were preoccupied with booking a flight to brazil. "look, I have to hang up to do some exams. I'll call you as soon as I can, yeah?"
"yeah, okay. keep me updated, for the love of god." he laughed and silently hang up.
as soon as you were able to, you called your boss, letting her aware of the whole situation, who, understandingly, granted you a week off, more than you needed. grateful, you expressed your thanks in every single way you could.
as you couldn't just fly there without someone knowing, you called lando's dad to let him know that you were going. he was thankful that his son had found someone who cared so much about him, and as so helped you through everything.
you would obviously be staying at lando's room with him, so you didn't need to worry about that, but there were things you actually needed to deal with and that's where he was an absolute angel, taking care of everything for you.
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the flight proved to be torturous; sleep eluded you, your mind consumed by worry for your boyfriend, presently hospitalized in a foreign country that held no appeal for him. the inability to communicate with him intensified your anxiety, and the endurance of such a long flight was a challenge unfamiliar to you.
the only thing keeping you focused on trying to sleep was knowing that you'd see lando soon and that you needed to be sane.
once you arrived in brazil, adam had already sent an uber to pick you up and drop you at the hotel. you were eternally grateful for him. your appreciation deepened when, upon entering the hotel, you found everything seamlessly taken care of, allowing you to reach his son without delay.
he drove you there himself, the casual conversation during the car ride centered uiquely around the topic most dear to both of you—lando's health.
every detail adam shared heightened your awareness; lando was okay, but not as well as he should be. the information failed to ease your mind, creating a lingering unease.
after reaching the hospital, the attending doctor informed you that lando was still asleep but encouraged you to enter. you opened the door to his room, and an immediate sense of tranquility washed over you. lando's peaceful slumber tugged at your heartstrings, and the sight of his features made you want to cry; you had missed him so damn much.
you took his hand, staying by his side as he slept. despite your exhaustion, the anticipation of his awakening kept sleep at bay.
lando woke up and confusedly stared at you for five minutes straight. in his head, he was trying to figure out if you were real or if his desperation had just made you up. you squeezed his hand and that seemed to clear his mind. you were in fact there.
"love?" he muttered, scared of being wrong.
"hey baby" you whispered to him, smiling softly.
"you're here? what are you doing here?" he hurriedly sat up, his expression filled with worry, like he wasn´t the one on a hospital bed.
"i'm here to see you." you extended your hand and let it travel through his face. "got the week off, couldn't leave you alone." his smile was priceless. he rushed his arms around your waist, since you were standing now, and pulled you closer to him, head in your belly.
when he told you he had missed you like crazy, he didn't define it well enough.
he locked his lips with yours as soon as he had a chance. you missed that feeling, you missed it too fucking much. you missed everything about him too fucking much, and maybe this misfortune was just what you needed to realize that something had to change. you couldn't miss him like this all the time.
it was literal hell, for the both of you.
adam entered the room after some time and, from his face, you could see he carried good news.
and you were right. "you are free to leave today, all the exams cameback with positive answers. you still have to stay in brazil, of course, a flight so long could jeopardize your health, so you'll have to stay for a bit longer, but you two can go stay at the hotel for tonight.
you and lando celebrate this little "victory" with each other and then you start talking about going home, anticipating what you'd do.
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the room was uncharacteristically quiet as he payed attention to the TV and you lost yourself in your own mind.
"I think I might quit my job." you let out with your head layed in his chest. he twists his head to look at you. "what?" he asks, clearly confused, in his head, trying to figure out where all of this was coming from.
yes, it's true that he didn't like to travel around the world every year and leave you behind, and it's also true that this past year, he felt your support fade away, but he didn't want you to leave your life in second place for him. he knew, and understood, how important for you it was to have your financial independence.
he had started to feel guilty, even though this was not his fault.
you thought and rethought about it during your flight, since it was the only thing you could do. of course you never wanted that, but you also couldn't bare the distance anymore, and his accident showed you that.
you wanted to be there, to be able to celebrate every single one of his podiums by his side and not over the phone, you wanted to be able to hold and support him whenever he needed you to do so.
six years into your relationship, neither of you envisioned it ending anytime soon. if it did, you had your savings, but for now, you craved closeness.
"seriously. i want to be with you. i think i never noticed how affected i was by your absence, but i am a lot." you admitted with a sigh. helistened intently. "I want to be able to be with you."
"are you for real?" he asked, concern in his eyes. "I don't want you to feel pressured to do that. I love you whether you're here or on the other side of the world."
"I know, lan. it's not like I would stop working. I just have to find something within my capacities that allows me to travel around the world with you. and it's not like you're going to break up with me, leaving me with nothing. I have my money."
"it's not like I'm gonna break up with you, period." he smirked. "we're a forever thing."
turning you around as if you were as light as a pillow, you wrapped your arms around his neck.
"I love you," you whispered against his lips.
"I love you too," he whispered back.
670 notes · View notes
carmyboobear · 2 months
Note
Idk if you've written this but can you write about carmy and the reader arguing and he makes her cry? Idk I just feel like thatd be good angst fluff lol
AHH I got carried away as per usual. anyway this is good stuff. wrote a bunch. enjoy!!
word count: 1.3k
tags: traumatized carmy, mentally ill carmy and reader, arguing, language, HURT/COMFORT, ANGST/FLUFF, carmy being a sweetie
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Hm…i'm spending a lot of time thinking about the set-up for this. Carmy is a very careful person when it comes to those he’s romantically involved in, but at the same time, he has a hard time controlling his temper when he's in the darkness, as i'll put it. 
here's something awful i think about that i wanna write about. carmy's stressed about work, because of course he is. he's carmy. his head is whirring, spinning with anxiety and self-hatred. i think you're just like him. mentally ill for mentally ill if you will. you're also in a bad mood, and he comes home from The Bear exhausted and keyed up.
“I hate when you push me away like this,” you admit. You've been trying to get him to talk to you since he's been home. Maybe he just needs space, but separation makes you anxious. Especially when he shuts down. 
“I'm sorry that it's so hard for you,” he spits, finally snapping and turning to face you. You've followed him into the dark bedroom, lit only by the harsh moonlight through the window. You flinch. You never quite get used to seeing him like this. 
“I—I just—“ you feel pressure beginning in the back of your eyes. You will it away. “How can I help you if you don’t talk to me?”
“Why do you care so much? Does it make you feel better to take care of someone more fucked up than you?” He snaps, voice raised. His words go down bitter, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. Something in you shatters.
“How could you ask me that?” Your vision’s gone hot and blurry. “I’m your partner. I love you, that’s why I care, you asshole!” You’re stifling sobs. You hate crying in fights like this, but it hurts. You can’t help it.
“Fuck,” Carmy mutters under his breath. He’s gone still in your blurred vision. “Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that—“
“That was so fucked up, Carmy.” You move to sit on the bed, trying to wipe your tears away, but they keep coming. “What’s your problem?”
“You know what my problem is.” His remorse has swept away the anger, leaving him quiet before you. He leans down at your knees, hands on your thighs. “I shouldn’t have said that. Any of that.”
“You shouldn’t have.” Carmy nods quickly, and he raises a hand to your wet cheeks. “Fuckin’ asshole.”
“I know.” He takes your pain, your anger in its entirety. His other hand brings your knuckles to his lips. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.“
“Sure sounded like you meant it.” Anger flares up in your chest, hurt and betrayed, but you tamp it down, leaning into his hand cradling his face. You take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Damnit, Carmy.”
“I know. I know.” He’s still kissing your hand. “You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you.” You hate it when he talks like this, because you can tell he really believes it.
“Don’t say that. Please.” 
“But it’s true.” You look down at him in the moonlight, at his sad blue eyes. “I always find ways to hurt you. I…”
“That’s what being in a relationship is, Carm.” You pat the space next to you. “Sit with me?”
“I keep having to remind myself of that.” He sinks into the bed next to you. “I’m so sorry for talking about you like that. Like you’re only doing this out of…I don’t know. Obligation.” He drags a hand across his tired face. “You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry. I just, I just think that—that I’m—fuck—“
“Slow down, Carm,” you say quietly. “It’s okay. You don’t need to force it. I’m listening.” He smiles bitterly at you, and you recognize the love in it easily. He takes in a deep breath before continuing. 
“I still have a hard time believing that anyone cares about me. I can’t even believe that you—love me.” You can practically see the shame rolling off of him in waves. “And it makes me scared.”
“Love is scary, isn’t it?” You say softly. He just nods. “It scares me, too. That’s why I kept pestering you when you got home. I…” You blink quickly. You don’t wanna cry again. “It scares me when I don’t know what you’re thinking. Because…I dunno. It just does.”
“Yeah?” You nod. He has this thoughtful expression that he holds for a moment as he stews on your words. “I didn’t think about it like that. I’m sorry. I think…I think when you kept asking me if I was okay, it…” he sighs, scratches at his temples. “I felt like I was…getting back into a corner. I think.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” You take his hand in yours. “I can see how that must’ve felt really bad.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault that I’m like this. I think—I think it just reminded me of my mom. We would always ask her if she was okay, because she’s fucking crazy, yknow? We didn’t wanna step on her toes. But it turns out we did anyway. And the way I acted just now, I was just like…” He can’t even get the words out. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, voice choked with emotion. “I love you. So much. You know that, right?”
“You tell me everyday. How could I not?” You pull him into a hug, tight and warm, and he instantly wraps his arms around you. “You’re not your mom, Carm. You're nothing like her. Okay?” 
“I don’t wanna be like her,” he whispers. “I don’t wanna be like her.”
“You’re not,” you remind him softly. “And you won’t be.”
Carmy leans back to look at you, but he remains close. His expression is knotted with pain. You run your thumb over his furrowed brow, and it makes his mouth curve upwards in a smile. It’s fleeting, but it was there. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I’ll try to open up more. Let you know what I’m thinking.”
Suddenly, you think about when you first started dating Carmy. He was so scared to open up to you emotionally, but with gentle prodding, he fell apart instantly. There was a hunger in him to be known by others, to be seen by you, and it scared him to death. You see that same fear in him now, but you also see how much he’s grown since then. You doubt you would’ve been able to have this conversation at all in the first couple months. 
That makes you happy in a way you’re not quite able to word properly.
“Thank you. But I hope you also know I don’t want to force you. I just wanna help. And…” You measure your words carefully. “I’ll try not to let it freak me out so much. Because if you’re not in the mood to talk, I want you to know that’s okay. Okay?”
“Okay. I’d like that. If I don’t want to talk, I’ll just tell you. Instead of…blowing a fuse.” He laughs dryly. 
“I’d like that too.” You let out an exhale of relief you didn’t realize you were holding. “Wow, Carm. Look at us. Communicating!”
“I know.” That makes him laugh for real this time, and you’re laughing too. “I couldn’t do it without you.”
“I think you could. But I certainly like doing it with you.” His smiles grows wider at that, brimming with affection. 
“Let me make this up to you, baby.” He pulls you in for a kiss, slow and deep. You let out a little noise when his lips meet yours. 
“Make it up to me?” Carmy’s tongue is on your neck now. Oh. “Aren’t you tired? You—you have work tomorrow—?”
“Don’t care.” You fall back onto the bed, and the blankets deflate under you. You stare up at Carmy, his curls hanging by his face. “You’re more important.”
“Well, if you insist…” You giggle, and your giggles get louder when Carmy pulls up your shirt to blow raspberries against your stomach. “Carmy, quit it—oh—!”
He makes it up to you in full and more by keeping his head between your legs for the rest of the night. By the end of it you can't remember what you were mad about in the first place.
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ghostlywhiskey · 8 months
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Simon “Ghost” Riley -  Kissing You
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Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3,320
Warnings: MDNI 18+ ☆ fingering, unprotected sex, cussing, chance of being caught - as always if you think I should include something else just let me know!
Summary: After locking eyes with Simon as he dances with someone else, you rush out which causes him to follow you. 
Notes: Inspired by Des'ree's I'm Kissing You. More angst x smut because I hate myself. My condolences once again honestly - stay strong <3
Also, this is the specific room I picture. I’ve thought about this room since I was 16 and was in it. Now it was the main focus of my mind palace as I wrote this.
find my masterlist here
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Pride can stand A thousand trials The strong will never fall But watching stars without you My soul cried
The music filled the venue, but the only thing your ears could hear was the sound of your blood coursing through your body. It was like listening to the sound of a running faucet while you brush your teeth in the morning, or washing dishes. Every beat of your heart amplified, you could have sworn you had a stethoscope in the way each thump echoed.
The happy couple, two of your squadmates, just married as they share their dance. Once it concludes, others join the dancefloor, swaying like boats in the harbor on a quiet night. Eyes focused on a specific duo who just stepped onto the dancefloor, the blood coursing through you now feeling like ice had coated your veins, constricting the blood flow.  
You knew he came with someone. You saw him when you arrived with Soap and Gaz for the ceremony. But, you spoke no words, the only acknowledgement was the makeshift barrier Soap and Gaz acted as by sitting in between you and Ghost. 
Soap came back from the bar, sitting next to you at the table. “Yer lookin’ a bit peely wally, luv.” The Scot spoke, his beer in his hand as he took a sip. Glancing over at him, you crack a small smile. “Soap, you know none of us know what the fuck your sayin’ half the time, right?” You teased him. “I ‘no.” He said smiling as the bottle pulled from his lips. “But I figured you could use the smile.” The honesty from him made you glance back at the duo. “That obvious?” Considering how low you whispered the words, you wondered if you would even get a response from Soap. But, soon enough you heard his response, “Clear as day.” 
The girl reached her arms up, her hands resting at his neck as they swayed. His own hands moved to rest on her waist. The breath in your throat caught itself as he moved his head from nuzzling her neck to look up, his gaze landing at you. The ice coating your veins melting away as he defrosted you with one look, your body felt like it was on fire. The thump in your chest resuming the intensity it had a few minutes ago. But, your breath still felt caught in your throat. The floor gently groaned as you slid the chair back from the table, creating room to stand up. “I’ll be back.” You whispered to Soap, quickly grabbing your dress to tug it up so your heels wouldn’t get caught and cause you to trip as you headed out of the large ballroom. Descending down the stairs, your feet carried you to two large double doors, rushing in as you entered a room. 
Heaving heart is full of pain Oh, oh, the aching
The ability to feel like you could breathe again returning as you paced around the room, hand on your chest as you focused on the rise and fall of it. 
The sound of the doors opening and closing pulling your focus, head turning to see who just entered. Simon. Ghost. Why did he follow you?
“What are you doing here?” The question coming from you is far harsher than you intended. The emptiness in his eyes showed he was unaffected by the tone, hands moving to the pockets of his pants as he stepped closer to you. Must be nice to wear a mask to hide any emotion that decides to show on your face in moments like this. “Why’d you run off?” He asked, his body getting closer to you. “Why did you follow me?” The question retorts as a response, the hand on your chest falling back down to your side. Now, in a response to your question, he just shrugs. Fucking typical. 
“I should know better than to expect an actual answer with words from you.” You mutter, turning away to face him, walking further in the room to create space between the two of you. “What is that supposed to mean?” His voice is slightly louder now, not taking well to the accusatory statement. Turning to look at him, pointing a slender finger at him, “You know damn well.” The hiss coming out of you before your hand drops again to your side, except now hands turn to fists at your side from the frustration brewing in you.  “I didn’t come here to get bitched at by you.” He snapped back, continuing to speak, “I came because you looked like you were gonna pass out or something.” 
“Please, I don’t need you to care about me. You made it clear there was no room for that.” Now, anger is brewing in you, or was it pain that was being released? Pain releasing onto the person who put it there in the first place. Ghost stood quiet, his gaze on you never leaving. “Well, I’m not passed out or anything. I’m standing up and I’m fine. You can go back to your date and dance the night away.” Could he just leave? What was the point of this? 
The sound of his dress shoes alternating between soft and louder clacks against the wood floors as he made his way towards you. Your own feet step back until your back hits the piano place in the corner of the room. Leaving you at a standstill as he stands in front of you, looking down. “I’m not going back yet.” Is the only thing he says, hands still in his pockets.
It was suffocating to have him near. It was like having a pillow pressed against your face, blocking air flow. At one point it was like he was air, giving you oxygen. A reason to exhale because it meant you got more of him. But now? Now he took your breath away in a way that was cruel. As if you suffocating brought him joy. Sadistic. “Can you go?” You tried your best for it to not come out as a plea, but the suffocating feeling left you vulnerable. “No, tell me why you ran out.” He stated, eyes locked on you. Your own eyes locking with his before looking to the side to avoid the intense contact. “You lost privileges to know why I do things. It doesn’t matter.” You mutter, but one hand leaves his pocket to hold your face between his thumb and index finger to force you to face him. “Stop being a stubborn fucking kid.” Now his words are harsh, but he sounds calm. That’s what was scary about him. He could blow a fuse, and you’d never see it coming.
“What do you want me to say?” This whisper leaves your lips as he holds your face. Your own hand moving up to grab his wrist. “Let me go.” It comes out as a plea again, the contact of his skin flooding your brain with unwanted memories of him. Memories buried after months of shoving it all down. Compartmentalizing it into a tiny box you wanted to smash, but found it to be indestructible. “How many times do I need to repeat myself?” He spoke, leaning closer. “You ran the fuckin’ second we acknowledged eachother for the first time tonight by locking eyes after being no more than fifty feet the entire fucking time.” 
He noticed. Of course he did. Who the fuck were you fooling?
Your hand tugged at his wrist, pulling his grasp off your face. “Fuck off, Simon.” You snap, his name leaving your lips like it was venom. His eyes widening by the sudden use of his name. Something clicking in his head as he watched you try to slip past him. A rough hand reaching out to push you back to where you stood, moving up to your neck. “Jealousy is an ugly disease, sweetheart.” He whispered, muffled through his mask. You scoffed, “What are you, a doctor?” The hand not on your neck moved up to the bottom of his mask, rolling it up just past his lips. 
Before you could protest and move away, lips pressed against yours.
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh I'm kissing you
Months of an unspoken bond that formed, both of you navigating your own feelings about it at the same time. You and Ghost. You and Simon. The late night knocks on each other's door igniting excitement equivalent to being a child on Christmas morning. Showers after missions when both of you didn’t speak a word, just feeling the other was there, alive. Sunday mornings when you’d wake up, his face buried in your neck and kissing the skin softly which was the reason you woke up in the first place. He was always up first. Hands grazing each other in public, an accident to anyone looking, but intentional between the two of you.
That’s why you got up and left. You shoved these memories into a box, but one look at him with someone else and the padlock keeping it shut was smashed open. 
Your lips moved against his, kissing him back. Your hands moved to his face, two fingers slipped under the mask while the others rested above the fabric. Pulling him down lower to your level, his hand that had rolled his mask up reached for the piano behind you and gripped the edge of it. A soft moan was muffled by his mouth on yours, you could feel his lips curve into a grin for a brief moment. The hand on your neck slipping down as fingertips lightly brushed your arm before he trapped you between him and the piano with both arms now. 
Was it purely sexual for him? Was it a release? A bond where he felt like he didn’t need to open up because it was unspoken, meaning feelings never had to be discussed. Memories of the last time you were intimate clawing at your brain, telling you to pull away. Trying to remind you the relationship was no different than Pandora’s box. Something meant to stay closed, but you didn’t listen. 
You remembered the last time, but you didn’t realize it was the last time.
The two of you were in the shower, the mission from a few days prior leaving him with new wounds that would form more scars that kissed his body. Your own body left in a better condition than his, the only injury to show was your forearm wrapped due to a bullet grazing the skin. Painful, but bearable. As you reached up to scrub the shampoo into his hair, his eyes looked down at you.
You should have known then. The way he looked at you. It was the sadness someone had when saying goodbye to someone, but you didn’t think anything of it. You thought he was tired. Worn out. His arms snaking around your waist, pulling your wet body close to his. His head leaning down to rest his forehead on your shoulder as you stood stunned before your hands abandoned reaching to wash his hair, instead wrapping around him to rest your palms on his back.
The sex that night wasn’t filled with urgency. It was slow, he took his time. Both of you savored each other, but he got to savor it more than you. He knew it was the last time. He was prepared. You were left to your own thoughts the following days, weeks, months. Your brain running through every reason why he fucked you like he would keep you, not toss you aside the following day.
Touch me deep Pure and true Gift to me forever 'Cause I'm kissing you, oh I'm kissing you, oh
Simon glanced back to the double doors as he pulled from the kiss before he looked back down at you. The hands gripping the piano now undoing the belt securing his pants up. The sound of the zipper pulling down tensing your body. “Simon, what if-” Your concerns were cut off by him before you could finish. “Stop.” Was all he said, grabbing your hand as his other held the unzipped pants up. He sat down on the piano bench, his pants slightly pulled to make it easier to pull his cock out. 
His hand pulled you in front of him on the bench. You body now between him sitting on the bench and the keys of the piano. Simon glanced up at you while placing his hands on your waist, running them down your sides as he reached the end of your dress. Fingers pulling the dress up past your knees, thighs, until it reached your waist and scrunched up. “No panties?” His voice was low and rasped. A blush forming on your cheeks. “I just didn’t want lines with the dress.” You said, slightly embarrassed. “I’m not complainin’.” He spoke as his thumb found your clit, rubbing it as he sucked on the fingers of his other hand. Your hands grabbing the edge of the piano keys, ringing in the room out of tune. The two fingers covered in his spit sliding into you. The sensation of him fingering you and rubbing your clit making your head lean back in pleasure. “O-Oh. Simon, curl. Please.” You beg him, your body moving slightly to rest your rear on the keys of the piano. More notes ringing in a mess of a combination.
His fingers curl every now and then as he pumps his fingers a little faster, the thumb of his other hand teasing your clit. “Responding like such a good girl.” He murmured, glancing up at you. Your face twisted with pleasure and anxiety as you glanced at the doors - scared if anyone walked in. “Stop lookin’ at the door. I’m here.” He smirked, his fingers pushing into you hard and holding his hand there as he teased the inside of your walls to pull your attention. Your lips parted as you gasped, looking back at him. “F-Fuck.” You hissed, head looking down where his fingers disappeared inside you. “I want you to drench my fingers in that juice I love so much. Can ‘ya do that?” He muttered, watching you closely as your body and brain reacted to him. “Y-Yes.” You nodded quickly, focusing on clenching your walls around his fingers. A shaky break as your hands lifted from the piano and grabbed for his shoulders. His fingers, those thick fingers spreading you apart only to get you ready for his cock. The thought makes your head dizzy. Your brain knew it missed Simon, but you didn’t realize how deprived your body was as you felt yourself inching towards a climax. 
One last pump and your hands gripped his shoulders, legs shaking as you came around his fingers. The juices spilled down his fingers and out of you onto the floor as his fingers pulled out of you. “Fuckin’ little dripping cunt. You’re so messy, baby.” He groaned, his fingers going back to slip into you. The unexpectedness caused you to whimper, it was like he was digging every last drop out. The fingers retreated again, this time he wasted no time to slip his cock out of the fly of his briefs. “C’mere.” He mumbled, holding his cock up and guiding you to stand over his lap, his legs between your legs but slightly spread. Nails digging into his shoulders, you looked down as you guided your body down over his cock. The tip pressing against your folds as it slipped past, your cunt wrapping around his cock as you fully sunk down onto his lap. The groan forming in his throat comes out as a low growl. “Look how good you still take all of me.” The rough hands grabbing your waist to steady you and help you as you start to bounce your body up and down. 
“Fuck. Good girl, go faster for me.” His hissed, his hands gripping your waist tightly as he helped your body bounce up and down. As you picked up your pace, his hands would hold you down for a few moments every few seconds to have you just feel his cock buried in you. Your walls clenching at the same time he held you down before he would let you resume riding him. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you looked at him. His one hand leaving your waist to grab his mask that was rolled up still, pulling it off and shoving it into the pocket of the suit jacket. 
You gasped slightly as you sloppily bounced on his cock, your brain losing its focus on the rhythm as he pulled the mask off. Simon. All of him. Your hands unwrap from his neck, moving to cup his face instead. Leaning in for a kiss, you whimper into it as his hands hold you back down again. Your body is trying to lift back up as you kiss him, but his hands keep you still. So, instead you rolled your hips. He pulled on your bottom lip as he separated from the kiss, moaning as you rolled your hips. “So fuckin’ needy you couldn’t wait to start bouncing so you roll those hips?” He muttered, gripping your waist as his fingers securely held you. He guided you to bounce again, the wet sounds squelching from your previous climax as you would bounce down onto his lip. 
“I’m close.” Simon said through gritted teeth, you nodded in response. “Me too.” You whispered, pushing yourself to go faster, slamming down after you would bounce down. “Si-Simon.” The moans escaping your lips, head leaning down to bury your face in his neck. The second climax gushed out of you as it spilled around his cock, the second he would pull out you were certain you’d drip onto the floor. Simon’s own climax hitting him, his hands moving from your waist to your back as he held you close. His cock jerking in you slightly as he kept you on him until his climax surpassed. 
“Fuckin..hell.” He huffed, coming down from his climax. Simon guided your body off him as he watched the mixture of both of your cum stretch out between the two of you. You shifted uncomfortably, his eyes glancing around for anything that could be used but ended up grabbing the pocket square from his suit jacket to clean you. Once he was done you pulled your dress down, smoothing it out as he adjusted himself to zip his pants back up.
Yeah, hey, yeah Where are you now? Where are you now?
The two of you walked towards the double doors of the room, silence hanging in the air. You heard him mumble something, causing you to stop walking and look at him. He stopped to grab his mask from his pocket to pull back on. Before the mask could cover lips once more, you reached to stop it just above his lips. Slightly trembling hands resting on his cheeks as you pulled him down for a kiss.
It wasn’t long, you didn’t count the seconds, but he pulled back. His hand grabbing the mask to cover his entire face again. He nodded at you, reaching for the door and headed out. But, your feet made no effort to follow as the door opened and closed with you still inside the room.
'Cause I'm kissing you I'm kissing you, oh
The kiss for you opening the floodgates of your brain again. But, he wasn’t there when you kissed him, he detached at the same time your bodies did at the piano bench. 
Was it purely sexual for him? Was it a release? Your brain asked again. This time it was. And it left you grabbing the chair next to you for support to hold yourself up. The other hand moves to your mouth, a muffled sob is expelled from your body.
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lnlightning81 · 1 month
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Knees [LL40]
Summary : Walking the dog ends up with an injury, and Liam is a supporting boyfriend throughout it all.
Pairing: Liam Lawson x Reader
Word Count : 1.2k
A/N : Based on my week this week. I can definitely say it hurts. I don't recommend it.
Masterlist
Liam Lawson Masterlist
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Having Liam as a boyfriend was like having another dog running about the house as if your current dog wasn’t bad enough. Liam always had so much energy that he basically just bounced about the house and against the walls, but you love him for it. 
It was your last day in England before flying out to Australia for the Australian GP, and you had left Liam in the house to finish packing, deciding to take your dog out for a walk. Scrolling on your phone as you walk along the pavement. 
Except your dog had spotted her rival. Why do they hate each other? No idea but they started barking at each other. Typically, a nice stroll turned into a barking match.  Before you knew it, there was a sharp pain shooting through your knee as you put your foot down on the ground. 
Your dog, now far too interested in the world around allowed you to stand on the one leg and quickly pull your phone out, calling Liam. It felt like hours before he finally answered the phone, still singing as he answered 
“Baby. I need you to come” you cried, not being able to hold back the tears from the sharp pain 
“What happened?” He asked as there was shuffling on the other end 
“I don’t know. It’s my knee though” you replied, wiping your tears away 
“Where are you? I’m getting in the car now” He asked, and you sniffled 
“I just got to the end of the road” you whispered, seeing his car quickly moving out the driveway and down the street. Pulling up in front of you, you were able to get your dog into the back of the car before taking the one hop into the front seat.
The tears fell down your face as you saw Liam’s sympathetic look pulling you straight into his arms
“It’s okay, baby. Let’s get you back to the house” Liam drove back to the house as you looked out the window, now really upset with yourself. Liam's hand rested on your leg as he parked the car in the driveway. 
“I’m gonna take the dog into the house then come back for you, okay baby?” You nodded, taking your seatbelt off as Liam walked into the house with your baby. Pulling yourself out of the car was the worst decision you probably could have made as the sharp pain shot through your knee again.
“I told you I was gonna come back” Liam shook his head before sweeping you off your feet and carrying you inside the house 
“I could have got in the house myself” you muttered, and he shook his head 
“I’m gonna phone my trainer and get him to look at your knee” He placed you down on the couch, pulling your trouser leg up to look at your knee, carefully touching it 
“Your hands are cold love” Liam chuckled, kissing your head as he wrapped you in a hug phoning his trainer. His trainer informed him that it was probably best to go get it x-rayed, especially if you are planning on leaving the country tomorrow morning. 
That’s where you ended up that night. After spending the rest of the evening on the phone to the health board and having a video call, they sent you to the minor injuries unit at the closest hospital. 
Now getting your knee touched and prodded by a random woman who was lovely you had to make your way from minor injuries to accident and emergency for an x-ray because apparently the x-ray department right next to minor injuries couldn’t be used. So limping your way across the hospital with pain shooting up your knee with every step you took. 
Having the x-ray done was the least painful bit. Just laying there as the big white machine flashed and the woman placed your leg back down onto the table saying you were free to leave. Liam was waiting outside the x-ray room, wrapping his arms around you as soon as you stepped out of the room.
“I’m so sorry baby” you whispered, and he shook his head
“You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s just one of those things that happens” He rubbed your back 
“Yeah but there’s this whole thing with your seat, and if we’re here waiting, then you might miss your flight” Liam shook his head, helping you back to minor injuries 
“You come well before that seat. Red Bull have other drivers that can take my seat if needed but I promise that even if I’m put into that car then you’ll always come first” He kissed you as you stepped back into the examination room.
“So radiography says that there’s nothing there, so I’m just coming to take a look to make sure” She smiled as Liam gently rubbed your hand. You were sure this hurt more than all the bones you had previously broken throughout your life
“I can’t see anything on the x-ray. It’s just a pretty bad sprain. My advice would be to keep your hips, knees, and toes aligned, and I’ll give you some exercises to do” You nodded, looking up at Liam, who was standing next to you. 
“I swear this hurts more than breaking a bone” you muttered, and he laughed, pressing a kiss to your lips. The doctor came back with the exercises, and Liam drove you both back home for a couple of hours before the flight tomorrow. 
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Arriving at the paddock with all those cameras flashing was not a thing that you wanted to be doing while limping. Liam had his arm around your waist as you struggled to walk from the pain in your knee, still annoyed that they basically just told you to walk it off even though you physically couldn’t. 
“What have you done?” Max asked as he caught up with you both 
“Twisted my knee before flying out” you huffed, and he chuckled 
“It hurts more than all my broken bones put together at the one time. I can’t walk up or downstairs. Liam’s got to walk like a fucking snail and we all know he’d rather be running ahead” You sighed as Liam walked over to sign a few things for fans leaving you stood on one leg 
“How do you even twist your knee?” He asked, confused 
“Stopping a barking match. I couldn’t even take a step, and the doctor basically said to just walk it off. I can’t walk” Max laughed, shaking his head 
“I’ll see you soon then. I need to get to this interview” He smiled 
“Yeah bye Max” You nodded with a sigh, taking Liam’s water bottle from him so he could sign things easier 
“What have you done, Y/N?” A fan asked as you held onto the railing for support 
“I twisted my knee while walking the dog. Thankfully I’m not working this week, and I’m in this lovely country. Imagine doing six hour shifts on one leg” You shook your head 
“I hope you feel better soon” She smiled
“Thank you. Hope you enjoy the race” You smiled, watching Liam as Fred signs his shirt. Liam goes after him to sign Fred’s shirt. 
“Let’s get you to the garage to sit down then baby” He smiled, wrapping his arm around your waist and helping you to the VCARB garage. It was crazy how Liam’s touch and smile could distract you from the pain and bring you back into the world where you were truly loved and maybe some of the news you had for Liam wouldn’t be so bad to tell him. 
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thinkingaboutjaedyn · 2 months
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hidden fear [m.leon x reader]
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prompt: mapi has a secret fear of flights
author notes: this is me trying to force myself to write 🙇🏽‍♀️ im going to do abunch of blurbs/mini fics based off single words. this blurb's word is "fear." can y'all tell i have never been to an airport or Ona plane before? yeah.. anyways hopefully y'all enjoy it 💗
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one perk of being a soccer player was the opportunity to travel the world and see so many new places that the average person wouldn't have the time or resources to see. you always enjoyed this fact, not even needing to plan a lot of vacations to destinations outside of spain since you have seen many countries; that doesn't mean you don't take the first opportunity to go somewhere else if offer though.
all players are used to flying once they go pro. even before they join the pro leagues, college teams and youth national teams travel quite a lot too. even if it's not enjoyable the players just have to deal with it. taking flights is a part of the job. some people hate it, others don't really care, and some love it.
however, you have never seen a professional footballer ever be afraid of flying or at least admit it out loud. especially not a player who's been pro for more than six years; isn't it natural to get over it at some point? well you met your first when you started dating mapi.
when you first joined barcelona you weren't the most talkative person. often just carrying on small talk during practice and going home right after. mapi was intrigued by your quietness. the spanish team had it's fair share of introverts, but after a while of being in the team they open up to being pretty loud themselves. why weren't you? soon enough she was trying her hardest to get you out of your shell. inviting you to activities outside of soccer related things like dinner or going to the beach, talking to you in the locker room since you were near her cubby, and pulling you into vibrant conversations with the others. all of her effort weren't in vain as you eventually did open up; becoming quite bubbly and even mirroring some of mapi's own social habits.
all this spending time together outside of soccer made the strong friendship between the spainard and you slowly transform into something else. with your quiet nature, you weren't going to confess your feelings first. even after opening up to mapi more than the others; it just wasn't apart of your personality. so instead she took it upon herself to ask you out one day. after practice pulling you to the side after a long practice filled with mistakes to ask you if you wanted to go to dinner like usual, but instead of as friends, it would be as lovers. obviously you said yes and here you are a year later, stronger than ever.
for that entire year you two have been together so far, mapi has been hiding a secret from you. from everyone.
mapi was afraid of flying. she was good at hiding her nerves everytime the team boarded a plane by saying she was just tired or hungry. all her hiding came to a head one day when barcelona was about to be on their way to a uwcl match against lyon.
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"do you think they have pretzels in the airport in france? the pretzel shop here is all out," you pout at your girlfriend as you two sit in the airport. it was around an hour before it was time for the team to board the flight, so just like any seasoned flyer, everyone was getting their snacks and drinks.
mapi laughs seeing your pout. finding it absolutely adorable. she pecks it off your lips, "i don't know. do the french even like pretzels?" she says after pulling away. the kiss does wipe the pout off your face, but doesn't help your little problem.
"i don't know and that's why they're so strange!" you throw your hands up in over exaggerated annoyance. your right hand ends up colliding right with keira who was sitting next to you. she playfully scoffs before pushing your hand down, "let's just focus on the match. not the lack of pretzels. they have baguettes which is essentially the same thing but tall and long."
"that's what she said," mapi giggles. her words earn her a small smack on the back head by alexia who somehow made her way over to you three without any of you noticing her. the short haired woman pouts as she rubs the spot alexia smacked her. "act your age, mapi," the spanish captain says, "anyways i came over here to tell you guys that it's going to be raining outside when we board, so have on some type of jacket or coat."
mapi side eyes alexia which makes the woman almost smack the back of her head again. "and i mean it, maria. you get sick easily, don't even try to act like you don't," alexia chuckles. soon after walking off to go tell the others scattered around the airport.
you pull mapi into a slightly awkwardly positioned hug the moment she starts her childish whining. "she just hit me!" mapi fake whines, holding onto your arm. keira rolls her eyes. focusing all of her attention onto her phone instead of mapi's shenanigans. the spainard drags on the act for a few more minutes before letting out a sigh. there was an obvious drop in her mood once you let her go. your mind races to find a reason why your girlfriend went from being her usually childish self to quiet.
"what is it, babes? don't want to wear a jacket?" you joke. trying to lighten up her mood. she lets out a short laugh but goes back to her unusual behavior. mapi tries to make herself behave like usual, but too many thoughts about the rain were bothering her. what if the rain makes the plane act funny? what if the rain turns into a thunder storm? how would a plane even go through the thunder and lightning? too many thoughts that she was not about to share; what would think of her?
"c'mon, what is it? i'm here to help you if it's anything crazy," you lean in towards her. not sure if she was okay with openly saying her feelings in such a public space. well, no one was truly around. all of the other barcleona players in their own conversations, lazing around, or still getting food. no one would hear anything she says.
mapi purses her lips before sighing. what would be the harm in telling you? you know everything else about her. "i'm scared.." she whispers to you.
"scared of what?"
"of the plane. of flying in general," the spainard pouts when your expression of confusion turns into a light hearted one. you giggle but stop once mapi has that sad look on her face. "why have you never told me? and why haven't i ever noticed?" you question quietly. shrugging before pecking mapi's lips.
"babe, did you think i would laugh? i am but not because i find it stupid. it's okay to be afraid of flying. i'm afraid of the dark and i'm not eight anymore"
mapi lets out a genuine laugh at that. easily slipping into teasing you as she says, "oh? thank you for that info, amor. it will be handy later." you give her shoulder a light slap making her say ow. she rubs the place you hit and pouts at her, "what was that for?"
"if you prank me using the dark, i will hurt you," you playfully threaten. mapi just smiles at that. your hand grabs onto her free one and squeezes, "anyways. mapi, it's okay to be afraid of flying. you should have told me sooner so i could be there for you on flights."
"yeah. lo siento, princesa," she squeezes your hand back. just happy you weren't making fun of her; not that she thought you would, but still her mind isn't always rational with its fears. mapi pecks your cheek before whispering to you, "but don't tell anyone else. i'm not ready for the teasing."
you just nod your head. already knowing how quick the majority of the barcelona players are to jab at and joke at each other.
coach soon tells everyone to get ready to go. mapi now feeling more settled after telling you about her little secret. once on the flight, your girlfriend gets all comfortable in her window seat. holding onto your hand for almost the entire flight unless you had to get up and use the bathroom.
telling you about her little secret wasn't so bad after all.
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© thinkingaboutjaedyn
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ghouljams · 8 months
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Medievall au Konig…
King of a neighboring kingdom, who is declaring war. The king and queen, parents of Ghost’s princess, offer her hand in marriage as a peace offering. inviting him over to shortly court/get to know the princess, but falls in love with her lady in waiting? (or any type of servant/help type worker)
God this is dangerously close to my cursed king König from my novel and I am for REAL holding myself back here. This isn't going to be König's new medieval au, but I wanna see Ghost sweat and I love causing the princess pain. So I’m using my cursed König here, because I love him, and also because he’s just a little fucked up, and also also because he is just... incapable of loving the princess lmao
You hate this.
Your maids have spent all day preparing you to meet a man that could become your husband. A king. You pout as they scrub you with perfumed soaps, rubbing scented oils into your skin and hair until every nook and crevice if you is soft and sweet. It's truly the most extensive bath you've ever had, and all you can think of is how badly you don't want it to end. The same with your makeup and your hair, all the primping and poking takes far longer than you would've liked, and yet far shorter than you need. It's miserable, and your maids are too chatty, too excited. They don't leave you alone long enough to cry.
Your parents, well your mother, have planned a rather elaborate dinner to introduce you and the neighboring King. You desperately want to kick and scream, throw things and make a mess until someone takes notice of your misery and puts a stop to it. Your maids tighten the strings of your dress, fix your necklace until it sits just right on your chest, spritz you with perfume, and tip your tiara until it catches the light with the sparkle of tears in your eyes.
"You look beautiful m'lady," your lady in waiting smiles, squeezing your shoulders tight in an approximation of a hug. It's not a comfort. You feel like a horse being trussed up for the market. You say nothing, you think she gets the idea. She's always been a good friend to you. "Maybe he'll be terribly rude and ugly, and the King will kick him out before the meal is over," she suggests.
"One can only hope," you mumble.
Ghost isn’t waiting for you outside your quarters door. Your eyes dart around the hallway, past the knight that offers you an introduction. He should be here, why isn’t he here? He wouldn’t leave you if something important didn’t come up, something must have happened. You turn to your maid, confusion stealing away your anxiety for the moment. 
“Where’s Ghost?” You ask her. You hardly have a spare moment to feel sorry you’ve ignored this poor knight who you’re sure is his stand-in.
“Orders of the King,” The knight tells you, “I’ll be your guard from now on.”
Your heart falls. They’re really serious about this. You wonder if your mother put up a fight, if she was the one to suggest it. It feels like a betrayal of the highest order to look at this knight and tell him.
“I’ll be in your care.”
When all you want to do is throw a royal fit and tell him to get Ghost or get out. You suppose you could. You could go back into your room and send word you won’t be attending anything. Be a true royal brat. You shudder to think what would become of you if you did. Without Ghost to protect you, there’s no telling how quickly you’d be dragged from your quarters. Placed in front of your royal guest kicking and screaming, what a first impression that would be.
It feels like a funeral procession walking down the hall towards the formal dining room. Your feet hardly want to carry you, but you can’t run with an unfamiliar knight at your heel. For all you know he’d chase you down under your parents orders. That was the one thing you never had to worry about with Ghost, perhaps you took it for granted how loyal he was to you and only you.
You stop in front of the heavy wood doors. You don’t even get a moment to collect yourself, barely get a squeeze of your hand from your lady-in-waiting before the guards on either side open them. Immediately your worry over Ghost is replaced by anxiety for yourself.
The doors open, the guests at the table stand, and you look up, up, up, at the man you assume is your neighbor King. The height of him, the sheer mass of musculature and masculinity frighten you. You thought Ghost was tall, does this fucker come from a land of giants? The King tips his head to you, and you dip into a low curtsy. As well trained as ever.
"König," your father smiles, a ringing rising in your ears as König stares you down, "this is our daughter, Princess-" You wish you could say he at least seems interested in you. He doesn't. His eyes look bored at best and disdainful at worst. You wish you could say more but the lower half of his face is masked. You'd wonder what that was about, if you weren't so terrified that this man was going to take you away, he doesn't even seem to want you.
The man, König, has an air of violence to him, madness almost. An air you find infecting your mind even as you walk to your seat. The proximity to him doesn’t help the feeling that if any man would be the hand in your death it would be him. You can hardly imagine what a marriage to him would entail. How cruel could he be, when you couldn’t even sense a spark of warmth from him.
You knight pulls a chair out for you, and you sit, moving on pure instinct. König's eyes slide off of you to touch your maid as she leans to speak to you. You barely hear her over the ringing in your ears, your breath coming short as you stare at your place setting. Did you leave your heart in your room? It feels like you must have, you hardly think it's beating.
You feel like every muscle in your body is pulled taught, tightening to keep your skeleton from shaking. You can’t think against the rising wave of dread that settles over your mind. Your vision is so fuzzy, and the crown on your head is impossibly heavy. The weight of awful responsibility. An animal raised for slaughter, that’s all you are, all you’ll ever amount to. Another bargaining chip in your parent’s pocket to be thrown on the table in front of any unwed king they find important enough.
This is worse than an interview with a nobel. There’s no need for a formal meeting between you and a king. If he likes the look of you he can take you. There’s nothing more that needs to happen to make you his. A wedding is a formality. You’re sure that giant of a man has never heard ‘no’ in his life, and even if he had you’re sure that no didn’t last long. Where is your gentle knight? Why do you have to be doomed to a nightmare when so many other girls get to be loved?
Someone touches you. No one is supposed to touch you. You jerk away, the world snapping back into focus with a rush of sound and color. You maid crouches next to you, your hand between hers, concern clear in the furrow of her brow. You look around the table, the startled expression of your parents, König's wide eyes. Your lady in waiting swipes her handkerchief over your wet cheeks silently. Are you crying?
"I'm sorry," you smile at the other people seated at the table, "I'm just- just so excited at the prospect of marriage I suppose." Your lady- your friend fixes König with a sour expression, still dabbing at your makeup. You glance at your mother to try and pick up the conversation, maybe salvage this torture. She isn’t looking at you, her eyes set on König. Her expression is placating, her smile as warm as a crocodile’s. Political, just like you are supposed to be.
The air in this room is stifling. Your parents love you, but they care about you only as far as you’re useful to them. Despite your mother’s previous words, a king is too good a deal to pass up. Just like a princess throwing a tantrum in the middle of the night is too disgraceful to mention in the morning. 
“She’s not usually like this,” your mother tells König, her voice sweet, “she must be nervous in the face of a man so…” König raises a brow, despite the full plate of food in front of him, he has yet to remove his mask, “handsome.”
You shove off your maid’s fussing, your skin crawling to be touched by anyone. You’re going to be sick. You hardly mutter an ‘excuse me’ before you’re running from the room.
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luveline · 9 months
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Maybe a Eddie and Roan where Roan gets into an argument with one of her friend/classmate and she’s like really grumpy and reader and Eddie try and cheer her up or even defuse the situation??
tysm ♡ eddie and roan
Roan toddles out of her classroom with her eyes on the floor until she reaches Eddie's legs. He frowns at her in surprise, smoothing the frizz of her curls away from her forehead. "Hello," he says. 
"Everything okay?" you ask. 
That morning at the kitchen table, when you told Roan you'd be there at pick up with her dad (the two of you taking a much needed day off to waste together in bed doing alternate loads of laundry), she smiled and climbed into your lap. "Good," she said, her lips shiny with waffle syrup, "I'll make you a present in arts and crafts."
"You will? Thanks, baby," you'd said. 
The present isn't anywhere to be seen now, nor is your sparkling girl. Roan rubs her cheek against Eddie's legs without greeting you. Eddie takes the hint and leans down to take her into his arms. He sighs as he stands, ducking his head to hers. 
"Hello," he says again, gentler now. "Bad day?" 
She sniffles and puts her face in his shirt collar. Eddie covers the back of her head, his eyes wide. What the fuck, he mouths, surprise melding into something worse. He hates when Roan's upset like this. Her tantrums are loud but her real tears are always quiet, and you can see the moment Eddie's heart breaks, her hands gripping his hair urgently. 
"Hey, okay, don't worry, bubby…" He nods his head back the way you came, and you follow at his elbow, crestfallen. 
He prods at it as you walk to the car. What happened? and Talk to me, babe. Roan stops crying and turns silent, until the concern gets too much. 
"I'm sure whatever it is, we can make it better. You just have to tell me what happened, roly-poly."
"Nothing! Nothing happened, dad, stop." 
Eddie rubs her shoulders. "Alright. If you say so." 
You open the car door for them and Eddie covers the top of Roan's head as he tucks her in. She's definitely reaching an age where all this carrying is unnecessary, but Eddie always says he has muscles for a reason. You like to roll your eyes, and, secretly, think it's amazingly sweet. He's like that. 
"Want me to come and sit in the back?" you ask. 
"No." 
"Are you sure? We can play pat-a-cake, or thumb wrestle?" 
"I don't want to." 
More of the same on the drive home. Eddie suggests ice cream, movies, McDonald's. Roan stares out the window and refuses to answer. Safe to say, you both hate it. It's your worst nightmare to know that somethings wrong but not know what that something is. 
"Let's go to Leaven," you whisper. 
Eddie raises his eyebrows at you, though he takes the turn, whispering back, "Why Leaven?" 
"We can buy her some fancy cupcakes and new pyjamas and stuff. And a tape, whatever she wants."
"We can't just buy her happiness," Eddie says. 
"Really?" 
"...Maybe." 
You park up in the family spaces near the front of Leaven and Eddie insists upon himself from car to store. "Please hold my hand, babe, I'll get lost in Leaven by myself," he whines, waving his hand at her. "I won't know where to go if you don't steer me." 
"Fine!" she says, taking his hand furiously. 
"Do you want to know why we're here, lovely girl?" you ask. 
"No." 
"Roan, don't be mean," Eddie says reproachfully. 
"I'm not mean, dad." 
"You're being a little tiny bit mean. We should try to be nice to the people we love even when we have bad days. Work is very very hard, but I try to pick you up from school and be happy because you haven't done anything wrong." 
"I don't want to be happy," she pouts, twisting her head away from you both. 
Eddie huffs playfully and grabs her from behind. Arms under her armpits, he swings her around and chuckles maliciously in her ear. "Silly girl left herself open for my evil plan," he croons, the voice of a character from one of his campaigns that gives you and Roan the shivers. 
You grab a kart and push the children's seat out for Eddie to slide her in. "Trapped!" he declares, squeezes the arms of her vinyl coat. "And there's nothing you can do to stop us!" 
Roan struggles to pretend she doesn't find it funny. "Stop what?" she asks, exaggeratedly unhappy to maintain her grumpy facade. 
"We're going to spoil you, duh," he says, voice back to normal. "What should we get first, my love?" he asks you. "Cupcakes?" 
"Best get cupcakes before they run out of the pink bunnies." 
Roan's lips quirk at the name of her favourite ones. "Are we really having pink bunnies?" she asks. 
"We're having anything that will make you smile," Eddie says. 
You link your arm through his for most of the journey, the smell of his cologne rich and smokey. He doesn't smell like diesel, a rare occasion, nor are his clothes mottled by oil. You look like a family meant to shop at Leaven (sort of, you aren't so decked in designer as the wealthy Hawkinites). Roan perks a little as you pick cupcakes from the bakery counter, their gold foil wrappers reflected in the brown wells of her eyes. Eddie lets her eat one as you walk around so long as she puts the wrapper in the bag when she's done. 
From there, you choose pyjamas, a stuffie shaped like a frog, and a breadcrumb covered tray of mac and cheese. You pick up things you don't need as you go, fancy brownies in a tub and clothes softener. The best part is the deliberating, you and Eddie and Roan taking turns sniffing the caps and debating which one smells best. You settle on deep sea minerals, probably because Roan likes the seahorse on the front. 
"You're a traitor," you say, putting back the scent you'd preferred with put upon disappointment.
Roan giggles sweetly. Like a plug pulled, a levy unburdened, she laughs from the checkout to the car, all the way home. You barely notice how dark it's become, focused on the loving heat of Eddie's hand on your knee and Roan's renewed smile. 
Later, once she's had a bath and you're all in your pyjamas, Eddie asks her again what upset her, and she gives a teary answer. One of the Stacey's said her hair looked ugly, and Roan agreed with her. 
"Bubby, your hair's not ugly," you say, chucking her under the chin. Eddie, her chair, leans his chin over her shoulder to agree. 
"It's beautiful." 
She sniffles. "I said it was ugly, and it's not nice because daddy has the same hair." She sputters wetly, tears squeezing from the corners of her eyes. "I'm really sorry." 
"Aw, Ro." Eddie hugs her with both arms tight to his stomach. "Don't be sorry, you don't have anything to be sorry for. Stacy shouldn't say you have ugly hair– you have beautiful hair. So shiny and bouncy. I promise you it's perfect." 
You smile at Roan encouragingly. "Your hair is soooo super pretty. Just like your dad's." 
"You think so?" 
"I know so." You coil a curl around your finger. When you let it go, it springs away and falls against her face. 
Roan relaxes into Eddie's chest. He rubs her upper arm, a similar relief on his pert features. 
"Is there anything else wrong?" Eddie asks. 
Roan closes her eyes, dark lashes kissing her cheek. "I think I have a tummy ache." 
"I bet you do, babe. Why don't we lie down for a bit?" 
Roan agrees wholeheartedly. It's a tight squeeze, but the three of you manage to lay on your couch, the smell of sugary pink icing stuck to your fingers and the warm scent of mac and cheese floating in from the kitchen. 
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