#why did no friend care about how unhappy i am

[readychilledwine]

Hey. It's me again. I was wondering if you could write something. Where reader is taking care of her younger siblings because her father who was a single dad had died due to some illness which she has now and it is going to kill her. The ic notices last minute. Az is just pissed because she is his wife and she made up a lie to break his heart. You can decided if there is a cure they found or not. Thanku. Hope you are doing well

I'm convinced you want me to break Azriel's (and my) heart, and I almost did it this time 👀👀👀👀

Losing Forever

Warnings - illness, mentions of death, heartbreak, losing a family member, angst with a happier ending than originally planned, mentions of medical procedures and blood. Ps- there's a little hint of Azris in there if you squint. 👀

A/n - I changed the ending of this two or three times, and I'm not 100% happy, but that's my inner perfectionist. I seriously considered something less happy, but I think I mentally care about Azriel having a happy ending way too much.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Madja stared at you in silence. "Where and how?" The healer finally said before pulling any books she could. "Y/n, where and how?"

She had confirmed your fear as you began to pick at the loose skin on your nails. "My father had written for me," you went into the story, the old healer looking at you every so often as she flipped through page after page.

The conclusion was the same. Illryian Fever. You had heard of it wiping whole camps clean. Incurable, deadly, and incredibly painful for the affected. "You cannot go home. You could pass this to Nyx, Rhys, Azriel, or Cassian if they get too close to you." You nodded. "I will keep looking, y/n, but I have to go tell the High Lord which camp it was spreading through and that you have it."

Your trip home had taken much longer than you and Azriel had believed it would. He crossed his arms over his chest as Madja sat across from Rhys. The healer's face was pale. Her hands shaking with nerves. "Not that I am unhappy to see you, old friend, but why are you here?" Rhys leaned back a brow raised.

They heard her throat clear before a pregnant pause came. "Illyrian fever struck the Snowfall Camp. At least 50 are dead, countless are infected." Azriel's heart froze, and Cassian looked at him.

Rhys swallowed thickly. "Why do you have this information before I do?" He prayed to the Mother that the answer they all knew was coming wouldn't be said. "Surely, if it was spreading, I would know by now."

Madja rose a brow at Rhysand before taking his hand in hers. "You know the answer to that question, High Lord. She's in the Halls of Healing. I will not allow her to come out here. I will not allow visitors until a shield is in place." Rhys closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. "I need anything you can get me regarding similar strands of illnesses if there will be a small chance of saving her."

Azriel felt Cassian grab him as his knees gave out. He felt his brother lowering him to the floor. He couldn't hear Rhys and Madja trying to talk to him. Every sound was muffled as if he was underwater, his heart rate was skyrocketing, his eyes wide with panic. The sound of his heartbeat increasing became a pounding drum. The noise was all he could focus on until your soft voice came into his mind.

Just a week, my love. Father said Luka, and he had simple colds. I will be right back to you. He rewatched the moment now, replaying the subtle things in your body language. The distant look in your eyes, the way you kissed him harder than you had for any other previous goodbye.

You knew, he realized, you knew, and you lied.

After countless hours spent hunched over books and chasing away sleep, Rhys had found a way for them to all see you. He kept a shield between you all, clutching Nyx tightly to him as he tried to reach you and cried for his favorite aunt.

It had been a week with no news regarding a cure, and your body was clearly tired of fighting. You had stopped eating 2 days ago, spending hours now in the throes of sleepless dreams and fevered nightmares. He had brought the heir to say goodbye, knowing from Madja's predictions, the progression, and years of experience you had until morning unless a miracle came.

Feyre was in the room with you. Holding your hand as she sobbed heavily into the bed. She could not pass the disease unless she made the choice to shift, and the wall Rhys was offering was too much for her. She needed to hold your hand to feel your soft palms one last time. But, it was too much for him as well. The sight of you like this was eating away at him. "Feyre, darling, please." She nodded, with one last kiss goodbye placed on your forehead.

Cassian and Nesta came next. Lady Death was held back by her husband, his hand resting on her swollen stomach. He took in your peaceful face, the countless medications being pumped into you to keep you comfortable. Ness unleashed a heartbreaking cry after they had spent almost an hour talking to you, hoping your mind wasn't lost enough that it could hear them still. Cassian took that as the cue, gently ushering his wife out of the room and into the large area Madja had set up for the Inner Circle to wait in.

It went on like that until they had all visited you. Elain and Lucien, then Mor, then Amren. Eris had even come, warming your room and sheets more as he watched you shiver. He walked back into the room, kissing Elain's temple to greet his sister in law before placing a supportive hand on Azriel's shoulder.

It was not every day someone felt the mating bond fading. Numbness had taken over the spymaster, along with anger, as he found letters confirming you knew what you were possibly walking into. But you had done it for your father. Your brother.

You had done it because they had no one else. Your mother was long gone, and your sisters married off to other camps. He did not rank high enough to garner attention from healers, your half brother was merely a child, and it would have been seen as survival of the fittest.

You had risked your life to ensure their last moments were comfortable, and now Azriel would pay that price.

"Azriel," Madja said softly, "if you want to say goodbye, you need to now." Eris and Lucien all but dragged the male to your room when he refused to move, shutting the door behind him and waiting in the hall.

Azriel felt ill as he took you in. This wasn't you. The sickly pale skin, the hallow cheeks, the lack of laughter and light. He felt a knot forming in his throat as he mindless stepped as close to you as he could before the shock of the barrier hit him.

He couldn't even hold your hand in your last moments. He sat in the chair slowly. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice finally broke the heaviness of the room. "Why did you lie to me?" He felt tears damping his lashes before falling. "You are my mate, y/n. Why did you lie to me about this?"

He watched you, knowing he wouldn't get a response. "I'm fucking angry. I have to spent your last moments angry with you because of a choice you made. We could have sent healers, love," his voice cracked. "We could have sent anyone but you."

Azriel was openly weeping now. "You promised me forever, y/n. You promised me years of love, joy, and unconditional happiness." He knew you had not broken the latter of the 3. You had given Azriel countless memories. Countless moments of laughter, of warmth and love.

You had melted that icy part deep down in his soul that was slowly resolidifying as he accepted the loss and anger he felt. "You promised me forever, and you shit on it. You shit on me, on my feelings, our marriage, our bond." The coldness grew with each word. "Did you even actually love me, or was that a lie too?"

He knew deep down it wasn't and watched as your finger, the one with your wedding ring, twitched. Rhys entered the room calmly behind him. "She can fucking hear you, Azriel. She's awake," he chastised. "Do not let your last moments with her be moments of anger and self sabot-" Rhys froze, his eyes flicking to the doorway. Hope filled Rhysand's features. "Hold on, y/n. Just please keep fighting, sis."

Madja and Helion, followed by Thesan, ran into the room. Rhys pulled Azriel back and away, making room for the three of them to work. "Mother, fuck," Helion said softly as he took your hand. "This better work fast, Thesan."

The Lord of Dawn rolled his eyes. "I didn't exactly have countless illyrians lining up to test it, Helion. Especially not ones in this advanced of a condition." Azriel flinched as Thesan shoved something into the vein of your hand. A soft whimper of pain fell from your throat. "I know, lovely. I'm sorry. This might be very uncomfortable." He set a bag of clear glowing liquid on the rack. "Who's blood?"

"Mine," Helion immediately offered. "I don't want to risk you taking it home to your winged legion from potential blood contact."

Thesan's jaw twitched. "I don't know if you can handle another one, Hel."

"Use me." A calm cool voice said from the doorway. "I owe him a life debt. Use me." Thesan nodded, motioning for the owner of the voice to move closer.

Eris stepped forward and through the shield, taking the seat Helion had moved closer to you. The heir held your hand gently as Thesan tapped into his vein. "You might be here awhile, Eris." The heir nodded. "I also cannot promise you doing this will save her, but it's her best shot until Tarquin, Tamlin, or Kallias can get here. It works best with a high lord's blood."

Your breathing had evened out, and Azriel watched in silence as Thesan hooked one more needle to your opposite arm from Eris and into a different container. He back away along with Helion, watching as Eris's blood slowly began to travel the tubes and into you, and your own began to leave.

"There's a similar illness in the Peregryn and the Seraphim," Thesan began slowly. "Drakon and I figured this out many years ago. The contagion cannot survive high fae blood for some reason. We had figured Rhysand's father would have done the same, but it appears not considering the situation."

Rhys scoffed slightly. "You two give my father far too much credit on anything. Velaris is the best thing he created, with the exception of myself of course." The joke broke the tension. "How long until she's not contagious."

Helion motioned towards the bag. "The second that started pumping into her, she stopped. That is water from the fountain Amarantha tried to destroy under the mountain. It's sacred and all healing. We were hoping with how poorly she was doing it would prevent anything from progressing further."

Azriel felt the shield drop and ran to your open side. Taking a cold hand in his, feeling the weight of your ring. "This was successful in the camps. I apologize it took us so long to get here. Finding Illyrians willing to help us help them instead of accept death was-" Helion just shrugged, looking at Rhys. "You all are too stubborn for your own good. Eris, what do you want for food? You'll need it."

Rhys held his hand up. "I know where he likes to eat here. I will send you two food. I'm going to get everyone else out for a break, though. And to explain what's happening." He motioned for Thesan and Helion to come with him, squeezing Azriel's shoulder and shooting Eris one last look before shutting the door.

Silence fell between the two of them, both of their eyes locked on you. "If this saves her, you need to grovel and apologize immediately." Eris would not look at him. "I would have never said to my mate what you said to her on their deathbed."

Azriel nodded. "Why are you doing this?"

Eris finally looked up at him, before looking at you. "You came and saved me from that bitch of a queen and the deathless God, Azriel. She nursed me back to health and healed me after countless beating from my father. You are my friends, even if you do not acknowledge that. I care about you, Az." Eris paused, his eyes focused on the fire, starting it back up into a gentle blaze to heat the room again. "Besides, I quite enjoy your wife. She is wonderful. Even if you are a moody brute."

Azriel laughed lightly. Allowing silence to fall between the two of them again. His shadows appeared some time later with two books from thin air, taking one to Eris and dropping one in Azriel's lap. They then pushed side tables to the two males as Rhys sent them food.

Eris guffawed in awe as Azriel's shadows began to cut their steaks. "Is this your way of saying thank you, shadowsinger?" Azriel nodded. Opening his mouth while staring at Eris to allow his companions to feed him. "You're welcome, Azriel. She looks better already." And you did. Color had slightly returned to your face. Your lashes occasionally fluttered against your cheeks.

They welcomed in quiet again, finishing their meals and desserts before a soft knock came on the door almost an hour later. A shadow opened it, and Eris's face almost fell before he chuckled through his breath. "You are not the one I was expecting."

The scent of rain and fresh cut grass hit Azriel. Had this been a different circumstance, Azriel would have shielded you, protectrd you, but he knew there was only one way this male got in, and that sacrifice from Rhysand shocked him.

"My schedule clears easily these days." Tamlin placed a hand on Azriel's shoulder. "You look like shit, Azriel." The shadowsinger watched Thesan appear and began to unhook Eris.

The heir moved to the chair by Azriel, drinking the water a shadow had handed to him as the small puncture wound instantly healed. They watched as Thesan hooked Tamlin up to you. They watched as Tamlin's blood seemed to instantly make a huge difference. You had stopped shivering completely. Your body relaxed. You were even breathing deeper.

Thesan observed for a while. Watching as Rhys then sent Tamlin food, causing the two high lords to laugh. "Tarquin will be here by morning, and Kal will be here tomorrow afternoon. The Inner Circle is each going to take turns after you, with the exception of Rhysand. Feyre will sit in his place. Then Tarquin, Kal, then Helion and myself. I think it will take all of us since she was so advanced into the illness."

Tamlin nodded. "I apologize I was not here sooner."

Thesan shook his head. "Eris was more than enough to get her off the brink. Now, all you have to do is sit and stabilize her, and from there, we will heal her."

Thesan crossed his arms in front of his body, brows raised as he nodded to the plate in front of Tamlin. "I was informed not to leave until you ate a bite." Tamlin laughed as shadows copied their previous motions, cutting his steak like they had for Eris before holding a bite to his face.

Eris had fallen asleep, his head resting on Azriel's shoulder. Thesan grabbed a blanket, pulling it over the heir, and Azriel wrapped a wing around him on instinct as well.

"She's going to recover, Azriel," Thesan said. "Might want to start writing that apology letter. Rhys said her thoughts regarding you were not kind when she called for him. Something about stupid illyrian brutes and over egotistical bastards?"

Tamlin and Azriel laughed. Azriel didn't take his eyes off of you as you shakily raised a single finger to him. "So a fancy date, an apology letter, and a vacation. Noted, my love."

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel

[maleyanderecafe]

Death by Fire (Visual Novel)

Created by: V0dka

Genre: Horror/Romance

Death by Fire has some nice art, and an interesting concept though there isn't too much as of now considering it's a demo. The main character, Arson not only has a cool name but a cool design with a half mask. If you are interested in this game, you can find more out at @deathbyfirevn.

The story starts out with the MC waking up. They seem really tired and grumbling as their boss has called them. They decide to go buy some groceries, being served by a nice cashier. As they go up the stairs to their apartment, they come across some graffiti welcoming them home before getting knocked out. Upon waking up, they find that they are tied to a chair, with an animated TV show playing in the background. Someone states that it was a show that the MC liked when they were younger and as the MC looks at him, they see a man with a mask and some blood on his face. They can either ask about the blood or why he kidnapped them.

If the MC asks about why they did this, they will seem disappointed that they don't remember him, even though the MC has absolutely no recollection of him. Whereas if the MC talks about he blood, he will state that he cut the limbs off of a man who was trailing outside of their house. He will then state that he is taking care of the MC now, all of their eating, drinking etc. He will then ask if we like the TV show that is playing.

If we say yes, he will be happy whereas if we say no, then he will seem disappointed as we used to like this show in the past.

After which, he will attempt to loosen the ropes where we can either attack him or stay obedient. Attacking him will lead to knocking him over, however he will be able to grab hold of their ankle. He is unhappy, stating how happy he was when he first was able to see them again after so long, however, in displeased by the results. Staying obedient will lead to him introducing himself as Arson and him stating that he will have to buy somethings tomorrow before the MC falls asleep.

So as I said, fairly short. The story mostly follows the MC being annoyed before being otherwise kidnapped by Arson, though we do get to learn more about him through his appearance and his relationship with the MC. Arson seems to have known the MC from the past, though we don't know how or why, and based on his appearance probably had some injuries to the left side of his face, probably due to fire (considering his name is Arson and the title of this game). We also see that he has bandages on his arms so it's possible that he might self harm or that those too are injuries from said fire. Based on the cartoon that he plays, it's likely that Arson and the MC met when they were really small, so it's likely one of those childhood friends that the MC no longer remembers. I am curious about how Arson was able to kidnap the MC in the first place, since at least in our point of view we simply get knocked out before waking up to being tied to a chair. Still, it seems like the game will either be attempting to escape or enjoying the life of Arson taking care of us while being tied to a chair, either of which will likely lead to some interesting backstory between the two.

I will say that the art is very pretty, I like the design of Arson since there is a lot of intrigue to what happened to him from his mask to his mostly expressionless face to the bandages of his arms. He does a lot of good character design storytelling just from his design considering we don't know that much about whats happening in the game yet. The clerk also seems like she might be an important character (though it might just be that she's the only other character we've seen so far).

Over all though, a pretty short game, though an interesting premise. As I've said there's currently not much on it, but hopefully it becomes a fun game for everyone to play in the future.

#death by fire #male yandere #yandere #yandere boy #recommendations #Death by Fire #ongoing #visual novel

[itsmebytch001]

Yes, here I am asking myself shit beacuse I am loosing my mind.

(Not really)

Yan Dad Miguel X adpoted daughter who trises to keep out Miguel from his overbeaing love so she baracdes the door to her room????

Hello Me!!! (I'm not mad, just odd)

Miguel Had snatched you out your own universe a few months ago, keeping you in his flat, under constant servelince with the only company you had was LYLA, she was fine but you needed somthing more than her, and Miguel.

When Miguel was home he was lovely, truly unsettling but lovely. He brought you presents like clothing, flowers, jewllery and books! He

would kiss you on your cheek (if You'd let him) and hold you tight.

And at this point Miguel had been gone for three days, LYLA had been good company, shown you films, played games with you, done some dress up all that. And to be honest, you dreaded the time Miguel, or Papa (he made you call him) would come back, it was supposed to be this afternoon, you had made dinner for the both of you as knew it was expected, plus he had been out for 3 days doing god knows what and he must have been tired after all that he should't have to cook for himself aswell.

Honestly you are beggining to feel like a platonic house wife.

Why should you cook, really? You don't owe him aything, he put you here! keeps you here like a dog, treats you like your mad whenever you call him out for how absurd this all is!! You are not his daughter, you are not an alt Gabi and yet he behaves as if you, and almost adult are just a quivering little leaf lost in the wind with out his fatherly guidence!!

The heavily secured door opens, and here you start again to grittedly smile at him as he enters, holding is arms out to you, expecting a hug.

Miguel: "Ahh Y/N! Iv'e missed you dear!

Y/N: "Hey Miguel"

He tiredly sighed and wagged his finger in your face.

Miguel: "Y/N we have been over this, It's Papa"

You turnded around back to the stove to pile up his food, rolling your eyes with your back to him.

Y/N: "Yes papa" You said as genuliey as you could, he bought it!

He sits at the table where you bring him his food, then your own as you sit infront of him acroos the small table, sulking to yourself, my god you were lonely, missing friends, work, your Mum. Miguel in the beggining would always press to you that a young girl having a fatherly mentor was good, so it was fine that he would just appear at your work to pick you, show up at your home to scould you for not cleaning your room, throw out your lunches to replace with the ones me had made for you beacuse his were more nutrious, that it was okay when your boss was being a dick that he then turned up at your work to beat his arse, it was all just his fatherly love!

Now you are here, alone, and trapped.

As you pick at your food he notices your unhappy face.

Miguel: "Mija, why the long face?"

Y/N: " I told you to stop calling me that"

Miguel; "Excuse me?"

Y/N: "I'm not your daughter, I'm not an alternative of your daughter, we aren't even blood!"

Miguel: "Y/n, don't be rude now, we may not be blood but we are family, and as your guardian It is my job to look after you"

Y/N: "Two things, My guardian is supposed to be my Mum, and This-*Gestures to sourdings* Is not taking care of me this is holding me hostage!"

Miguel appears irratated.

Migeul: "I put you here beacuse your mother is reckless, you are reckless! I knew That I could provide you with a batter life!"

Y/N: "THIS IS NOT A LIFE!" You yell throwing your hands up!

Y/N: "And how dare you talk about my fucking Mum! she tried, she was there, she supported me, and YOU just swooped me up, disreagted everything she did for me to sooth yourself for what you are now doing to me!"

Miguel: "ENOUGH!" he yelled slamming his hands down on the table, shaking it, though you ratinally knew he wouldn't hit you, that did't stop you being afraid.

Miguel: "Go to your room"

Y/N: "fuck you Miguel"

Miguel: "Go before I drag you!"

Y/N knew he was serious, so she went begrugged.

Slamming the door behind her, she heard Miguel from the bottom floor yell.

Miguel: "Don't you dare slam my doors in my fucking house!"

Y/N: "I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING GABIRELLA!"

You heard a smash...

Then a silence.

You know, ratinally it's out of cheacter for him to hit you he never would really, but your silly institcs come it.

...barracde the door.

so you did, with chair, a book shelf and a chest of draws the door is slealed.

About half a hour later you hear a soft knock, on the other side Miguel is leaning on the door, full of remorse.

Miguel: " Y/n, I'm s-Listen you were very rude down stairs but I shouldn,t have smashed anything, or swore at you"

You don't answer, you are to angry.

Miguel: "...Y/n?"

...

Miguel: "Answer me Mija"

How dare he call you that, again you think. You remain silent and you hear the door hanlde giggle.

Miguel: "ay, Mija open this door!"

Y/N: Please just go away!"

Miguel knew the door had no locking mechanism, you must put somthinh heavy infont of it.

Miguel: "Not before you open this door right now!"

He knows with his strengh he could really just bust though the door right now, but he wants you to open the door, he wants you to let him in, to him its proof you love him enough as your 'father' to allow him in.

Miguel: "Mij-"

Y/N: "Shut The FUCK UP!" You are so tired of that fucking title!

Miguel snaps, and bursts though the door in one fatal swoop.

The rubble of your bookshelf, chair's and other things clatter aroud your room smashed inot little spliters of wood. You cower on your bed, tucking away from him under a blanket like a little girl. As he body relaxes and he stand's all tall and looming like, he intiannly thinks he'll just yell at you, lecture you about rescepct and saftey for awhile and then cuddle you for awhile, hold you like a baby and carry you around.

But once he actually looked at you he saw how you turtled into yourself, shaking and crying, tensing even more as you heard him walk over to you. truly it saddned him to see you vulnarable, but also awoke a real fathery insticnt to comfort you.

laying on the bed with you he pulled you into him, cowering as he wrapped his arms arouund you, pulling you into his chest as he sighed into your hair.

Miguel: "I'm sorry My love, I'm sorry I scared you so, shhhhhh I say, It's okay, papa is sorry"

if it werent for how truly scared you are, you have told to fuck off again, but until then, all you could do is cry into miguels chest terrified as he tenderily stroked your head and back, shushing you ever so slight.

#yandere miguel o'hara #yandere miguel x reader #yandere miguel #yandere atsv

[bewarethewolfarmy]

Things Better Unshared

(A follow-up to A Celebration for Two partially because so many people seemed to have liked it and partially because I happen to have had one of those days. And yes what is described in this story is how I suffer through migraines, which I get on occasion (I am a chronic headache sufferer though). My friend Ash, may her soul rot in the shared POTO hell we are destined for, technically gave me this plot bunny when I told her about my migraine today so hope you guys at least enjoy)

Erik was 1000% certain that you were angry at him or something and thus already rehearsing a thousand different apologies, with flowers and music and begging and crying. Actually he was already crying because again he was more than absolutely certain that you were very much angry at him.

Admittedly he was not sure why you would be mad at him though. He had not killed anyone recently, or honestly at all in the time since you told him you loved him to now and he had sort of wanted to, especially when it came to those guys who sometimes talked to you and especially that one who had actually tried to ask you out and that was certainly not acceptable in any way. But he had held himself back, remembering how murder was one of Those Things that had made Christine run from him and that you had indeed told him that you did not want him hurting anyone. What helped him to remember and internalize it was that you had voiced it as a worry that he would be hurt or taken away from you if he did anything like murder someone again and thus made it into how much you cared about him, and Erik could never bring himself to do something that could upset someone who was willing to say they loved him. He also had been holding back his wish to make you a star and trying to convince you to that effect, and he'd behaved himself with the operahouse managers and he'd even tried to do nice things for them like fix up broken props and ripped costumes. He'd loved listening to you giggle as you had recounted to him how the other performers were convinced they had some sort of guardian angel running around, a nice change from the story of the Phantom; he didn't care about their thoughts and feelings about the situation as much as he loved to know you were happy about it. And actually he was also certain you had been happy just the night before, kissing him gently goodbye before having to return to your usual days in the choir.

Yet he knew you had to be angry at him because why else would you be acting so strange? You were listless and not really talking to anyone, grimacing and holding your hands over your ears as if hating the sound of music that as always filled the operahouse. He'd only been doing his usual thing, watching over you when you couldn't physically be together, and had been looking forward to watching rehearsals, but you had this strange unhappy look on your face and he was certain it was because something was wrong and of course to his mind the only thing that came to him was that you were upset with him and thus he needed to figure out how to fix things. He couldn't bear to have you upset and now he just had to wait until everyone else left and you were alone so he could try to see if he could get to you. You'd already snapped at a few people who tried to bother you though and Erik was now just fiddling with everything he could get his hands on, his cape, some rope, a broken piece of furniture, his scarf, feeling more and more anxious.

It all came to a head as some lights went on and you practically winced, turning away. But not fast enough for your angel, attentive as he was, saw the tears in your eyes and his heart fell like a ton of stones into his stomach. He watched you slip away into a room, getting away from everyone and everything as if to flee, and finally he decided enough was enough. Quickly he made his way there, slipping through passages and hidden ways, through an opening in the wall of that room to grab you.

You flinched, you never flinched with him, and his heart raced to think he might have hurt you, but you looked at him, squinting and then buried your face in his chest. His mind raced but you whimpered and in a small voice, weak and unsteady, spoke, “It hurts so much...”

You were in pain? Physical pain? He didn't understand at first but you clung to him and he instinctively wrapped his cape around you, holding you and feeling all the more panicked.

“What hurts?” He felt so confused; he had been so sure you were.

“It's too loud, too bright, please.” You pleaded, in that sad trembling voice. And Erik, Erik never could reject a request, not from you.

It was easy enough for him to bundle you up and carry you away; walking corpse he might be, he was still strong and you fit so easily in his arms. If the surface was too loud, too bright, too anything, then he would just take you back to his home, to the darkness, to the quiet. He had no hesitation, especially as your arms looped around his neck and held onto him and lord did that make Erik want to know what was so wrong so much faster.

He did his best to bring you back though the rowing of the boat was made a little harder by the fact that you still didn't let go even in the boat. But at the same time he wouldn't complain; you were close to him, you were there in his arms, how could he possibly complain when you were right where he loved to have you so much. And you didn't seem to be angry or upset with him at all but he still didn't know what was wrong and that was somehow even worse because you said it hurt and that things were too much and he hated seeing you in pain, not to mention cry because of it.

The dim lighting of candles and the silent peace of his home by the lake seemed to bring you some peace though still you held to him. He carried you inside and took you to the bed, the easiest to keep holding you; that was what he wanted, that's what you seemed to want, and he curled around you somewhat awkwardly. He wasn't used to being the big spoon, he wasn't used to being the comforter instead of the comfortee; he still didn't know what was wrong and that was starting to make him feel panicked the longer you were silent and clinging so tight.

“Erik's sorry, please tell us how we can help,” he half whined, having brought you this far but having no idea what to do was starting to lose himself to his usual concerns, “Songbird, please, you're worrying Erik, please.”

“My head....”

“Your head?”

“It hurts so much, Erik, it feels like a needle in my eye, like sharpness in my skull, radiating back and forth and back and forth but only part of me, only part of my skull.” Your voice was small, so small, smaller than you, smaller than anything. “I can't focus, I can't see, and everything just makes it worse: the light, the sounds, movement, eating, I can't think about anything but how much it hurts. It all just compounds and makes it throb more.”

Oh. He realized, recognizing what you meant. “Do you see lights, ones that are not truly there, whether after looking at light for a second or simply out of nowhere?”

You nodded without word. He bit a swollen lip. “Then it must be hemicrania, migraine. Erik too has suffered such; the pain is....”

Impossible to truly describe, he knew that well. To think you too were undergoing such pain, unexpected, unwanted, unfair; he could not remember days in which he had one, for the pain took most memory and reality with it, leaving only the haze of existence and the depths of emotional and physical voidness. But he could remember pain, sharp, centralized at first before moving along the divide of his head; for him it was always the right side, the same as his deformity, and maybe it was connected but it never truly mattered. The pain was what did and your pain, that you too had to feel it, was what he cared about.

You whimpered again, a meek sound more suited to a child than the beautiful soul you were to him but he held you close and did what he had always wished someone had done for him in such a state: he covered your head in his cape, kissed you upon the head and spoke in the softest whisper he could muster, “You will be alright, songbird, I promise you.”

“I just want to sleep,” you mumbled.

“Then sleep you shall.”

“I should eat though.”

“Are you hungry?” You shook your head; he was not surprised. Appetite seemed to flee from the pain of the half skull. “Then do not force yourself. Rest; I will blow out all the candles and you will slumber and once you feel hungry then I will make sure to bring you all the best things to help you recover but it would worry me all the more if you had to suffer what happens when you force yourself to eat when your mind is such pain.” Though he'd be ready to hold your hair back and gently rub your back, wipe away your tears and give you water to clear the taste from your mouth. Still he never wished that suffering on you, any of this.

“Erik....” You clung tighter and he kissed you again. How strange it felt to be the one to give the gentle kisses, the love, the care; normally you were the one to comfort him and he had been so prepared to cry and beg your forgiveness before but now he knew what was really going on and all he wanted was to hold you and take all your pain away.

He took off his cape to keep you covered but found it hard to get you to let go of him. Normally he would have been delighted by this, he was before, but in light of what was going on.... “Songbird, sweet love, I need to get up.”

“Please don't leave me, it hurts so much.” You sounded like you were on the verge of tears again and how he hated it, loathed your pain.

It was his turn to whimper, because he was nothing if not weak to you and your pleas, but he had to be strong to some degree and he kissed away your tears. “My beloved songbird, I promise I will return as quick as I can, but I need to darken the room for you, all for you I promise. That way you needn't hide under my cape while you rest.”

Another whine from you but he did manage to break free enough to get up. You curled into a ball, a sad weak ball, and he was quick to move, snuffing out each candle, plunging the room into utter darkness. But he was used to darkness, he had lived in it for years, and to him you were like a beacon in the night anyway; he would always find his way back to your side. He settled into bed beside you again and pulled you close, stroking your hair as you clung once more to him. In the darkness all that could be heard was breathing, yours slightly labored as your body had a hard time adjusting to the pain; he started to hum, softly, careful of all sharp notes, careful of being too loud; it was even and gentle, a lullaby he made up on the fly. But slowly, surely you started to slip off into something resembling sleep and he knew this by the way your grip loosened, your breathing evened, you relaxed from tension you never even knew you'd been holding from the pain.

All the while the phantom held you, humming his slow warm melody, and wishing for all the world he could do more to make you, his beloved songbird, never feel such pain now or ever again.

#poto #phantom of the opera #erik destler #erik x reader #erik destler x reader #description of migraine pain specific to author #fanfiction #fanfic #phantom of the opera x reader

[theambitiouswoman]

Self Love Journal Prompts

What do I love most about myself?

What’s my favourite physical feature about myself? (Or list everything you love!)

What’s my favourite personality trait about myself? (Again, bonus point if you list at least 5 things!)

What am I most proud of myself for doing or achieving?

List everything you have achieved this year.

What am I grateful for?

Who am I grateful for?

What compliments do others give me?

What do other people come to me for advice on?

What do I love doing?

What are my passions?

What makes me feel positive and energised? How can I add more of this to my day or week?

Who makes me feel positive and energised? How can I add more of this to my day or week?

What makes me feel drained or unhappy? How can I limit this or make it more enjoyable?

Who makes me feel drained or unhappy? How can I limit this or make it more enjoyable?

What’s something I need to accept about myself and move forward with?

What good habits do I have?

How can I replace one bad habit with one good habit that will improve my self love?

If I loved myself more, what would I do each day?

Why is it important to me that I improve my self-love?

What do I want to do more of each day, week or month?

Who do I admire? Why?

What does happiness mean to me?

When did I overcome something negative and turn it into a positive?

What am I doing when I feel most calm and at peace?

Where am I blocking my own self love?

What areas in life do I need to give myself more grace?

What am I holding onto that I need to let go?

What are my biggest dreams? What can I do this week to bring them to reality?

What makes me unique? How can I embrace this more?

What does self-love look like to me?

How do I treat people I love? How can I do this towards myself?

3 flaws I accept about yourself are…

What self-care activities do I love doing?

What healthy boundaries do I need to set with friends, family, personal relationships?

What do I need to start saying ‘yes’ to?

What do I need to start saying ‘no’ to?

What does my perfect day look like? How can I create this for tomorrow?

When do I feel most confident?

When do I feel most in love with myself?

Why do I deserve to be loved?

What positive impact do I have on the people around me?

How do I express my love to others? How can I do this for myself?

How have I changed for the better over the last few years?

What makes me feel fulfilled?

What’s something I wish someone would say to me? Go say it to yourself now!

What can I do today that my future self will thank me for?

Which outfit makes me feel most confident?

I am worth of love because…

10 songs that make me feel happy and confident are

[grapejuicestyless]

Conrad Fisher !!😭✌🏻

request: reader has had a crush on conrad since she was little and everybody knows it and one night they all get drunk on the beach and she admits it in front of everyone

You’re Everything To Me.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

ANGST!

Summery: All of her life, Y/n has always known Conrad was it for her. Unfortunately for her, her best friend, Belly begins to take a liking to him as well. She never imagined having to compete for Conrad, but when Belly changes one summer, so does she.

Sometimes I wake up in a sweat, nightmares keeping me awake that are fueled simply by the unshakable feeling that this summer could be the end of it all.

The shower, in the car, in the mirror before bed. I pick apart my skin beneath my fingers. I rub the pads of my thumb under my eyes, I smooth over the wrinkles by my smile. I comb through my hair and straighten out my back. I examine my smile, pick apart the way my teeth show, the way my eyes shift. I despise the way my nose crinkles up and how my eyebrows move. I hate the way I feel about myself, like I am not enough. I should cherish my body. The way it dips and curves. I should love the skin on my stomach and the dimples in my back. It makes me feel guilty that I am so unhappy with something I am so blessed to have.

I try to be tough, I say I don’t care. But I could never let this go, I can’t be strong. I hold onto every detail of my body like my life depends on it. I hear my teachers and my friends, my sister and my brother. I hear them all complaining and suddenly their voices become the ones in my head. The ones the shame me and tear me apart. Suddenly, I am no longer just enough, I am slipping away and there’s no telling why.

It doesn’t help how sick I’ve fallen over my best friend. The blonde haired boy with a slump in his shoulders and a dusty blue shirt hanging over his chest. He has the most contagious smile and the deepest blue eyes I’d ever seen. He never made me feel out of place, but seeing his type, the ones he so desperately chases each summer, I can’t help but to notice how different I am from the women he brings home. Even after each heartbreak, each further push into my own head I still, he’s still everything to me. His opinions, his feelings. I hold them over my own as I have never loved someone as hard or as true. As long or as consuming.

It was never a secret as to what I felt towards him. The puppy dog eyes and the way my cheeks would heat up. How my actions differed to make him like me more. Susannah told me it was romantic, Laurel called me an idiot for falling so hard. She said one day the pit would find its bottom and I would fracture my spine. I wouldn’t be able to feel my legs and I would crumble from the situation I was putting myself in. Even then, I argued against her. I told her it wouldn’t end so sourly. I wouldn’t allow it.

How naive I was to believe I had the power. I can only control myself, how did I expect to be able to stop everyone else from changing, from hurting.

Belly came home to the summer house this summer, her hair was silkier. Her eyes brighter and eyelashes longer. Her teeth were perfect, much more than mine. Her braces were gone and so were her glasses. I swore I could see a sparkling glow outlining her body when she stepped out of the car. At first I was happy for her, happy she had grown into herself and finally realized how beautiful she had always been. Ditched her insecurities, the same ones I still dealt with each second of every hour.

I remember having looked back to find Jeremiah. How excited he would be to see how she’d grown up. He always payed extra attention to her. Not in the same nurturing way Conrad did, but he still held onto everything she did, everything she said or cried about and kept it locked in a safe place in his brain. I didn’t find Jeremiah, though. No, the curly headed boy wasn’t the one I was looking at. It was the salt water blonde waves and sunburnt cheeks I found already standing behind me. His eyes wide and mouth opened. He looked almost shocked by what he saw. His younger sister in a way, growing up into another woman he could love.

The bottom of the pit grew closer and closer everyday since that moment. How my best friend, the boy that used to beg to hide away from the world so it could be just us forever, started bringing around her. It felt like my entire world had changed. It felt like in a sense he had brought a girl into our metaphorical bed. Our inside jokes were shared. They didn’t feel secret now that she was telling them. They weren’t funny coming out of her mouth. I should love this, I love her. She’s my sister in so many ways but I can’t help but hate her.

Hate the way she whispers in his ear, how he smiles back at her and laughs. How not only had we lost our jokes but now they had their own. My spot next to him in the car became hers. The boardwalk showdown became their competition. The beach was no longer our spot. It was theirs. With each day, he found more ways to include her in what we were doing. We were never alone. The more they laughed, the more they touched, the more and more I gave into my thoughts. Meals became bland, calories counted to precision. My hair was always down to cover the back of my neck. I felt so insecure, so unhappy.

I could feel the end approaching between Conrad and I. The shock waves passing through my bones, adrenaline rushing to prepare for the crash. My limbs shook every time he was near. They never did that before. The way my breath would hitch, my eyes would water. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. It was no longer just about my dislike towards Belly, but more to my own towards him.

Everyone always commented on how obvious it was. Jeremiah used to tease me over how I’d fallen for the most boring person alive. To me, he wasn’t boring. Everything he did held so much meaning. Now I’m starting to believe it was just me overthinking it. Giving him more credit than what was due out of my own sick mind and my obsession with him.

Steven always said we would be perfect together. How his sister was too young, too immature. He loved her, we all knew it, he was so protective over who she could see. He was a great older brother but even he knew that no one could give and give like what I had done for Conrad. Nobody could love him the way I did. He knew what I felt from elementary school. Before I did. I was just so obvious. But this was all before Belly became Conrad’s standards of beautiful. Maybe that statement held no water anymore.

The worst part was Belly knew it too. I confided to her for years. Cried in her lap over how destroyed I was over his new girlfriend. How angry it made me feel to know I wasn’t enough and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t change my nose or my cheeks. I have no power over how big the gap between my thighs is, losing weight isn’t enough anymore. Each time she consoled me. Reassured me how one day he would see me and how great I was. She knew, she knew it was so much more than some unrequited love story. Yet, she still went for him.

I always knew deep down Belly had a small crush on Conrad. For her, Jeremiah was never enough. Her love might be stronger for the tanner, happier brother, but he didn’t give her the same complexity’s that Conrad did. He didn’t make her think as hard or push her as far. It was like I didn’t even matter when she made the decision between them in her head. All the late nights and the red noses from the backs of our hands and the endless tissues scattered weren’t of any importance to her. She could care less watching me fall apart. Even if it wasn’t official yet, by doing so she had lost her right to the title of best friend in the story of my life.

Her eyes watched mine, the way they watered and shined, avoidant of their quick touches and gushy eyes. How my heart broke watching his eyes flicker down to her lips, how hers did the same. I couldn’t bare to think about what would happen if I weren’t there to clear my throat or announce something that wasn’t all that interesting in the distance. Each time Conrad played into it, giving me his divided attention and Belly would mumble something that he couldn’t quite hear.

Everything this summer led me to this very moment, stumbling and batting my eyelashes at some stranger who showed me just an ounce of attention. He was no Conrad, god, how could anyone ever compare to him? He hung the moon and the stars and he painted the universe with his best blues and purples. The constellations were his works of art and the birds were his friends. He was the reason for everything to me but, the man in front of me was so much older and wiser. He was beautiful. Tanned and fit. He had scruff on his jawline and under his nose, his hair was messy and eyes a gorgeous green.

Sober me would have never bought into the game he was playing. She would have pushed away the hand that rested so easily on the curve of my ass. She would have never let him talk her into drinking. Not when she knew that she wasn’t eating, wasn’t strong enough to hold it down and would instantly fall victim to the strong beverage in the red solo cup. But I wasn’t sober, and I wasn’t stable. I was hurting, the touch of someone else even under false circumstances made my heart ache just a little bit less.

Stumbling into him a little, we shared a laugh, I let out a soft apology and he waved it off. He didn’t care so much, he wasn’t complicated. He was a potential hookup at a bone fire and a damn good distraction. I had no reason to feel so much pressure to be great around him.

A silence fell over us. His hands moving back to where they were before he had to help stable me. He squeezed at my skin, molding it rough under his fingertips. Part of me felt dirty for doing this. Being so insecure I allowed myself to give into someone who was such a inappropriate match for me. I got lost in his eyes anyways. Even if it was a fake loss of direction, even if I knew what I was doing, I let myself become swallowed whole by him. I allowed gravity to pull him towards me, my feet rising to my tip toes, I didn’t think about how his lips felt once going in for it, I didn’t process how he smelled or if he had dimples or not. I just went for it.

The touch of his mouth on mine was rough, dry. His lips felt like stone against mine. It was gross and unfulfilling yet I pushed forward and let him consume and take whatever he wanted from me. I let him use me out of my own selfish need to heal. To forget. His lips were ripped from mine, the hand that was rested on his arm pulled away, our bodies separated roughly.

“What the hell!” I was shocked more than angry, looking back at the guy who was now looking at me with the same look. It took a second for my feet to catch up with my body. For my brain to process who was so quick to tear me away from the best chance I had of letting go of Conrad for tonight. As if it were fate, the culprit was him.

“Conrad let me go!” I thrashed in his hold, pushing off the sand to try and get away. Hide away in the crowd and slip out of his sight. He didn’t speak, he didn’t even look me in my eyes.

I always dreamed of how it would feel to have his arms around me. Having him holding my waist as he spun me. How I would lean down and kiss him just because I love him that much. He would kiss me back because he would love me that much too. I never imagined this is how it would happen. His hands clasping around his own wrist while he lifted me up and rushed to a more private area.

“N-no!” I slurred, managing to claw at his skin enough to get him off of me. The sand was soft. In a way, my body hitting the ground below felt like the bottom of the pit Laurel had described. The bottom was finally here and it was my own fault for going down there in the first place. I was dying.

Even with the scene I was making, he still tried to help me up. He looked so concerned, so worried about me. Like he wanted nothing more to make everything okay. His hands touched my skin so soft, it reminded me why sober me never did like the way hookups would grab at me so rough. Conrad was always so gentle with me. So calm, so patient.

I didn’t want to push him away but he made me feel so pathetic, so childish then and I was so angry. My hands pushed him away. I pushed him away like how I was trying to push my feeling away.

“No, get the fuck away.” My words were sloppy but harsh. Even while standing on wobbly legs I felt confident that I wouldn’t need his support anymore. I just wouldn’t look at him in the eyes.

“Y/n, you’re drunk.” He tried to reason, hands waving to try and calm me down. A crowd was forming. I could see Jeremiah and Steven rushing down to us, ready to help Conrad in sobering me up, containing me. It made me even more angry how it was so wrong for me to feel like this. How it was so embarrassing how I was so crushed over everything that happened this summer. I was made to feel guilty about things I had no control over.

“Conrad, you don’t get it.” I looked to the sky to contain my tears. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to feel weak anymore.

“I do, I do.” He assured me, moving closer with each step I took away from him. He was talking about my current sobriety, he didn’t know any better that it was so much more.

“No, no you don’t.” I begged him to understand. I hated myself for crying, I felt so small underneath him when I cried. So inferior and childish compared to him. It made me feel sick.

The invisible room that held us fell quiet, his eyes searching my face, wondering what was getting me so worked up. Why was I crying? What had happened? My feet worked faster than my head, I took a staggering breath in.

“I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I can’t feel like this anymore, Conrad.” In my head I always called him Conrad, it made everything seem so much more mature and real. Maybe that’s why I didn’t call him the nickname he adored so much then. In some way, the weak feeling that my crying made me feel was balanced out by the lack of the informal nickname, Con.

“Feel like what?” He wasn’t yelling, but his voice was raised. Not because he was mad, but because he was confused. I knew this because I know Conrad. Like Jeremiah does with Belly, I keep each detail locked away for safe keeping. I memorized what he does and who he is. Unlike Jeremiah, I do not keep Conrad locked away in my head. Everything Conrad has a home in my heart.

“Like I’m drowning around you!” I begged for him to see what I meant. If my tears and my hiccups weren’t enough of a reason for him to try harder to understand there was no getting through to him. He simply shook his head then, not knowing what to say.

“Y/n what is wrong with you?” He responded in the only way he knew how, with authority and anger. He wasn’t really angry, but Conrad didn’t know how to express that. He only knew how to push away and string along. He didn’t have it in him to show just how compassionate and caring I knew him to always be.

In my little drunk head I only felt more pain, more anger, more sadness. Too emotional to try and tell him everything that was wrong. But instead it all built and built until it came out. I wanted to vomit with how worked up I was. I could feel everyone’s eyes burning into my body, but most importantly I could feel his.

“I don’t want to love you anymore.” It came out weakly. It was like admitting it now out loud, I had suddenly lost all fight I had. Coming to terms with something I knew I was feeling for awhile but never had the guts to say out loud.

“…What?” His voice shook. It was like watching his face drain of any color, eyes wide just as they were when Belly had showed up in June and caught his eyes. His mouth was open and eyes brows furrowed. He looked so lost, so confused and conflicted. How could he have been so oblivious? Did he really not care that much to never pay enough attention to see it?

“Don’t make me repeat it.” I pleaded more quietly, sucking in a harsh breath and breathing out with a huff. My top lip tucked itself under my teeth, I drew blood and swallowed. When it settled back on my face normally, I felt bite marks.

“I have spent every summer trying to be something you might like because I am so fucking in love with you that it physically hurts me to even imagine how you’ll leave me. I hate how rotten my mind has become by me getting so addicted to you. I’m jealous and I’m bitter and I’m hurting and you can’t even see that! And I’m angry because we can’t even fight about it because the people that are hurting me the most are my best friends! Maybe if we could argue, if you knew…” I choked on air, trying to find grounding to hold me down. Keep me from slipping. My eyes left his, I had to clear them, make them see I would be okay. I found Steven and Jeremiah watching me. I knew it would be okay. They would defend my honor to the whole damn nation if it came to it.

“If you knew how much I care. If I knew you gave a damn about how I act, what I do, maybe I could convince myself that you seeing someone who isn’t me would hurt less.” My hands hit my sides, my lips quivered. If my heart wasn’t broken then, it was now seeing how Conrad still couldn’t find it in him to fight me even while I explicitly asked for it.

“All I do is try, and try, and try to make you happy. I hold my tongue, I support you and I hold you while you cry about the next girl who broke your heart. I’ve tried to stop loving you and I don’t know why I can’t. I’m an idiot for thinking anyone else could take your place but I’m even bigger of an idiot for giving you that place to begin with. And I’m done with it, Conrad. I can’t keep tearing myself apart for you. I can’t and I’m not sorry about it anymore.” For a second I waited for what he had to say. I waited and waited but it never came. He stood there and accepted what I had to say silently and showed no fight against it. My head shook quickly and my shoulder brushed his. I could sit there and beg him to care about something he clearly didn’t want to fight for.

“Y/n…” His voice was drawn out, I could tell he had turned to face me because his voice was clearer than before. If I turned then, I would surely crumble underneath his fingers again. I would submit myself to the torture I had just so openly screamed about to the whole town. Airing out the wounds that bled so intensely down my skin.

Passing the boy, I could see fully behind his taller frame. I could make out the teary eyed expression that Belly wore on her face. She looked stiff, shocked by all I had to say. Like she hadn’t expected me to tell Conrad my feels ever. Keep it like a dirty secret and let it consume me until I would inevitably die alone in her perfect fantasy.

My feet stopped in front of her and though I wanted to hit her, beat her until she could feel what I felt each time she purposefully broke my heart by having the privilege to love the man I so deeply adored but it was already over. I was already dead, there was no reason for me to invite her to the wake.

“Y/n.” She started, I could hear it.

“Congratulations, Belly. Conrad’s all yours.” I nodded my head bitterly, sniffling and wiping away my tears violently. I didn’t want her to know that she was sort of the reason I was so angry. She didn’t deserve to comfort me anymore. If she wanted that privilege, she shouldn’t have went behind my back.

“No, Y/n that’s now what I want.” She tried to reason with me, hands raised to try and stop me, even if I wasn’t moving.

“It’s too late then, isn’t it?” My words were venomous falling from my mouth. Fueled by pure betrayal and heartbreak. I couldn’t look at her anymore. Conrad wasn’t mine and neither was she. Belly had made her choice even if she hadn’t meant to. I was constantly upset feeling so immature with how I was handling her and Conrad. Self loathing in how much I hated my body. How the longer they flirted the less I ate and the more I picked myself apart. Each laugh made my teeth look more yellow, each look made my hips look wider. I am so tough on the outside but I become mush when I am alone until I am nothing but a puddle in their hands.

Walking past her on the beach, they didn’t try to chase me. All I heard was distant yelling and a following silence. A rift that was being created by the undying love I held for Conrad between the happy couple and the only ones who had my back, Steven and Jeremiah.

But it was no longer my problem. I would hurt openly. I would let them hear my sobs, I would not try to hide how I felt simply so they wouldn’t have to live with the guilt of what they did to me.

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher angst #conrad x reader #tsitp conrad #tsitp jeremiah #tsitp x reader #tsitp x y/n #conrad x you #tsitp season 2 #steven conklin #isabel conklin #jeremiah fisher

[underthenightskydreamsneverdie]

The Green Imposter

Summary: Sebastian finds something interesting in MCs nightstand and makes good use of it.

Pairing: Sebastian x f!MC

Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, sex toys, anal, double penetration, dom Sebastian, overuse of Princess as a pet name

Word count: 2.6k

A/N: Another wonderful idea from my sweet @pugsnotdrugs92

----------------------------

Sebastian groaned as he bumped into MCs nightstand, multiple items, mostly heavy books, dropping onto his foot and whacking him in the shin. He sighed and stooped to pick everything up, stretching his arms to their full extent, desperately trying to reach the pack of quills now wedged against the wall. Letting out a small cry of victory when his fingers grasped them, he cracked open the small top drawer, about to tuck them safely away when his eyes fell onto the end of an object his brain couldn’t comprehend in this limited view. He knew he shouldn't pry, but this was his girlfriend, the person he trusted above all others. Telling himself that she wouldn’t mind him snooping through her things he pulled the drawer open all the way, his jaw following suit. It was a dildo. A green one. A large green one. Chuckling in disbelief, he pulled it out of the drawer, turning it over in his hands.  

“Sebastian, what are you doing here?” 

Her voice startled him, and he whipped around, already opening his mouth to ask his own question. 

“Princess, why in Merlin's name do you have this?” He held up the rubber dick, waving it around, an amused look on his face as it flopped from one direction to the other. 

“I..um…” He watched her face fall, her smile slipping away, a look of panic crossing her face, her mind working overtime to come up with an answer. 

“Do I not satisfy you, MC? Do you come back here and fuck yourself after you leave me?” His voice was quickly hardening at the thought, his world starting to shatter. How could he not have realized he was leaving her unhappy? 

“No, Sebastian, I promise it’s nothing like that!” Her head fell and she stared at her shoes long enough to make him wonder if she was telling him the truth. 

“Then what, Princess?” It came out harsher than he had meant for it too, but he was growing too angry to care. “What the hell do you need this for?”

“It’s for nights when we can’t be together, okay.” Her voice was soft, laced with embarrassment, and she dropped her head again, unable to look him in the eyes. 

Stepping closer, he reached out and lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him, his voice softening but his heart still racing with uncertainty. “More words, please.” He watched as she let out a frustrated sigh, her face turning red again, raising her hands to hide her face behind. He reached out, grabbing them before she could.

“Sometimes school, and friends, and life get in the way of us spending time together, and I need to do something about it.” Her voice made her sound a lot calmer than she looked, and it bothered him. This wasn’t as big of a deal as she was making it out to be. Why was she so flustered? It wasn’t like he didn’t do the same thing. 

“That’s perfectly reasonable, MC, so why do you look like I just caught you doing something you shouldn’t?”

He turned the toy over in his hands a few times when a thought struck him. His demeanor changed instantly, his spine straightening, his gaze hardening, letting out a bark of a laugh when he realized he was jealous of the thing in his hands, how it could be there for her, bringing her pleasure, when he couldn’t. That wouldn’t do. He looked her over hungrily, eager to show her how useless this damn thing could be. 

“Sit down, Princess.” He watched as she did as he asked, a wicked smile spreading across his face. He knelt before her, resting his arms on her legs, pushing them open to line up with his shoulders. 

“Darling, I can’t help but notice that this thing” he waved it around again before tossing it onto the bed beside her, “is a little larger than I am.” He watched as her eyes widened a little, his smile spreading. “I see you have too. Tell me, Princess, do you like the way it fills you up, does it feel good inside you?” His lips curled into a silent snarl as her tongue darted out to lick her lips. “That’s what I thought.” Slipping his hands over her legs, tucking them under the band of her skirt and underwear, he looked her in the eyes as he spoke. “I think it’s time I remind you how good I feel inside you.” Yanking hard, the force lifting her off the bed, he ripped her clothes down her legs, answering her gasp with a growl. Shoving her back onto the bed, holding her legs open as far apart as he could, he shoved his face between her legs, licking roughly at her folds, slipping three fingers into her without a word. Starting slowly he pumped his hand, working up to a quick pace, growling into her as she bucked her hips under him pulling at his hair. It didn’t take long for her to begin trying to squeeze her thighs around him. He pulled his face away from her, his words coming out as a demand. 

“Stop it, hold your legs open.” 

Watching her spread her legs again, as wide as she could, arms moving to keep them in place, he dove back down between them, licking at her again. As her walls started to twitch around his fingers, he finally moved his mouth up to give her clit the attention it deserved, sucking at it as she came undone, screaming his name.

I bet that fucking thing doesn’t make her scream like that. 

He pulled his fingers from her before her legs had even stopped shaking, causing her to whimper at the sudden loss. 

“Aw, do you feel empty now, baby? Let’s fix that then.” Reaching over he picked up the dildo, hardly able to believe he was going to allow it to touch her perfect body again, that he was going to willingly put it inside her. On the other hand a part of him wanted to see it in her, and so lining it up with her slit, he pushed the entire thing into her, the delicious moan she let out doing nothing to quell his jealousy.  

That may have been a stupid idea. Were you trying to make yourself angrier, but, Merlin, does she look good stuffed full like that.

He leaned over her, hands slipping up her legs and stomach, moaning at the softness of her skin, gripping the hem of the white button up she wore. Flexing his muscles, ripping at both halves of the shirt, it flew open, tiny buttons flying in every direction, revealing her bare breasts. Raising his brow at the pleasant surprise, he bent further over her, and bringing his mouth down, he sucked and nipped at the soft flesh, leaving lovely red marks circling her nipples. 

“Have you been walking around like this all day, Princess? I could have been kissing your breasts like this while we were fooling around in the Library earlier. Why didn’t you tell me? I want you to tell me whenever you decide to go without an undergarment from now on, understand? Good girl.” 

Growling again as a fresh wave of possessiveness washed over him, he kissed his way to her lips, looking her in the eyes. “You ready for me to fill you up, baby? Or did you want to keep that dildo in you?” A smug laugh escaped him as she grabbed at him, desperation written all over her face. 

“You, I want you.” 

“Good answer.” Stepping back he stripped out of his clothes, taking his cock into his hand, stroking it as she watched him. “Now you’re sure you want me, right? Okay, okay, just had to tease you a little. You’re so cute when you’re needy. Let’s get this wretched thing out of you.” Wrapping his finger tips around the base of the dildo, he pulled slowly, the wet sounds her body made as it slipped out of her making his blood race. The green head finally coming out of her, he lifted it up, a long string of her cum hanging off the shaft. Running his free hand over the toy he collected all her juice rubbing it onto his own shaft. Tossing the toy back onto the bed, he scooped up her legs, putting them on his shoulders before pushing himself into her, groaning at her softness. He set a slow pace, wanting her to feel him, every inch he had to give her, his velvety soft skin, the heat of him, even the vein running the length of his cock that she so loved to trace with her tongue. Turning his head to kiss at her leg, he spotted something in the still open drawer of her nightstand, a small vial of red liquid. Groaning against her leg as he realized what it was and where she had gotten it, an idea popped into his head.  

“I can’t believe how wet you get for me, Princess. That dildo doesn’t turn you on like I do, I hope. It would take you hours to get this wet with that thing. Is that why you have..” Leaning over, he snatched the vial out of her drawer, dangling it in front of her face. “This!” She gasped, her face turning almost as red as the liquid. Removing the cork, he brought the vial to his nose, sniffing. Cherry. “It’s one of mine, isn’t it? When did you take it? Where did you take it from?” 

The crimson liquid was his favorite magical lube, Garreth Weasley of all people having introduced him to it when he mentioned thinking MC was ready to take their relationship to the next level. He had gone a little crazy, ordering ten vials of it the morning after their first time together, leaving small stashes all over the castle in their favorite places; the Undercroft, The Room of Requirements, his own dorm, and even one tiny vial hidden in the restricted section of the library. 

Stopping his thrusting and pulling out of her, lifting one of her legs over his head to join the other, he spoke in a steady voice. “I’ll ignore that you didn’t answer me if you’ll be a good girl and roll over. I want you face down, that gorgeous ass in the air for me, love.” 

When she was ready, he trailed his hands up the back of her thighs, and over the curve of her butt before kneading the soft flesh, bending to press kisses to her cheeks, sneaking in a few small nips to keep her anticipation high. When he was satisfied with the red marks blooming on her skin, he stood up, grabbing the dildo from beside her, eagerly plunging himself into her wet pussy. “You trust me, right, Princess? Good girl. I want to try something new, you remember your safe word, yes? Good.” Reaching for the small vial he had set on her nightstand as he spoke, he then uncorked the vial again, slowly tipping it up, watching as three drops of the thick magical liquid fell onto the toy, slowly spreading over the entire length, the magic keeping it clinging to its surface. Normally one drop was enough even without foreplay, but he knew from their admittedly awkward first try at anal, and the handful of times they had done it since, three was the perfect number for MC tonight. Pressing it into her at an achingly slow pace, letting her adjust, he let out a loud groan, feeling it press against him, only a thin bit of skin separating it from him. 

“Fuck, you are so tight. Talk to me, love, you alright?”

“Sebastian, I’m not sure about this.” She had her face pressed into the bed, her hands white as she clutched at the bedspread. 

“We’ll go slow, Princess, I promise. Use your safe word if you need to. Tell me when you’re ready to try some movement.” He grew more hesitant as the seconds passed into one minute then two, silence filling the room. Right as he was opening his mouth to ask if she was okay, she let out a deep sigh, hands relaxing on the bed, lifting her head. 

“Okay, I’m as ready as I’m going to be. Move gently, please, Seb.” 

“I will. Try to relax your muscles, love.” 

A hand on her ass, he began to slowly thrust as gently as he could, watching her body language closely. When her first moan slipped out, he increased his pace a little, a low growl forming in his chest when she brought her butt back to meet his thrust a few minutes later. 

“Tell me how it feels, Princess? Do you like it?” 

She moaned loudly as he moved, struggling to form the words to answer him. “Good..oh fuck..Sebby..faster.”

Groaning again he did as she asked, setting his normal, quick pace, earning him more loud moans that eventually turned into her telltale whimpers. She was close, and so was he. “You like being this full, don’t you, Princess? You’re absolutely loving this. So am I. I love that you’re so naughty, letting me do this to you. Oh, yes, cum for me, Princess.” The high breathless whimpers of her orgasm brought his own, his hips never stopping as he shot his load deep inside her, marking her as his, something the dildo in her ass could never do. As she rode out the last wave of her orgasm, collapsing onto the bed, he stared at the green base of the toy in her, admiring how beautiful the color looked against her skin.  

“Princess, why did you pick a green one?” 

She chuckled into the mattress. “Can’t you guess, Sebastian?” 

“I’d like you to tell me. Are you ready for me to take it out?” She nodded and he once again gripped the base, gently prying it from her body. She let out a big sigh as it slipped completely out of her, shuffling around to lay on her pillow, looking up at him. Grabbing his wand from the still disordered nightstand, he cleaned himself and the toy, tucking it and the small vial back into her drawer before grabbing a blanket from her trunk, throwing it over them as he laid down beside her.  

“I chose green because it reminded me of you. My sexy Slytherin.” She laughed, leaning in for a kiss which he returned with zeal, gently pulling her on top of him, his hands resting on her butt.  

“Oh, really?” A surge of pride ran through him. “Then I guess you should keep the blasted thing. I’m sure two smart minds like ours could find more uses for it. Although, I can’t promise I won’t Confringo it into a puddle of green goo if I catch you using it without me. Do you think we should do that again, love? I would like that, but next time I’ll be the one in your ass.” Giving her a wink, he relaxed against the pillows, enjoying their closeness for a while. 

“How are you feeling, Princess?” Softly kneading her flesh, he pressed little kisses to her face. “Are you sore, will you be able to walk tomorrow?” There was a hint of humor mixed with his concern, a small playful smile breaking out on his face. His heart fluttered as her melodic laughter echoed around the room, a playful smile appearing on the most beautiful face he had ever seen.  

“No, I think you’ll have to carry me everywhere for at least a day, if not two.” 

Laughing, he wrapped his arms around her waist, giving her a squeeze before nuzzling his face into her neck, growling against her skin, making her giggle. “Don’t tempt me, you know I’ll do it. Your feet won’t touch the floor for a week if I have anything to say about it.”

#this turned out better than i expected #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow smut #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow x female!reader #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow oneshot #sebastian sallow fic #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy smut #hogwarts legacy oneshot #hogwarts legacy sebastian

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

“I’d lay you badly but I’d lay you gladly” (Roman Roy x fem!reader)

An: I’m gonna try. Let’s see how this goes. As an asexual (demisexual panromantic) I can feel it in my asexual bones that Roman is so part of the asexual club. Like he’s panromantic for sure he will date and flirt and be with anyone who makes him feel ~wiggly~ so to speak. I think he felt it with Gerri, and felt it with Tabitha. He feels like that pull toward them. And if given the chance he probs does want to bang. Like, he just never has that talk of ‘oh if I just stop thinking and let this person who I trust more then anything know what’s going on in my brain space then it works’ like our man is just. I love him because I am him.

I’m gonna tag @romeulusroy because I heard they were having a bad day and maybe soft roman can help

He liked looking at her when she didn’t know he was, he liked the feeling she gave him. A rush inside that he’s felt so few times in his life. Roman liked her smile, the way her lips split to show her teeth, the way her nose wrinkled when she didn’t like something. He liked her. Liked her? No he was pretty sure he loved her. Well what he assumed was love, he was pretty sure he’s only ever felt the emotion a handful of times.

Once when he was a kid and found a baby duck in the backyard pond of his mothers villa, it was so small and he helped it back into the pond where it’s family was. He remembers the feeling of warmth watching the mother goose bump it’s little tail back into place. He imagined every duck he saw after was somehow that one duck growing and visiting him.

He remembers the feeling when connor had popped him on the bathroom counter and bandaged up his scraped and bleeding knee. Connor was what he assumed his friends parents were like. He liked feeling cared for. Even if it was rare.

He likes listening to her ramble about her bullshit job of being a coffee runner most days, how she wishes she could punch Karl or frank or even his dad in the face when they forget her name, even though she’s worked under Gerri for at least 2 years.

He loves waking up next to her, always before her, something in him, maybe because of military school, maybe because he always wanted to be up before his siblings to hope that his dad would let him join him at the office, or to get the best pieces of bacon or toast for breakfast. Not anymore, now it was to be able to have the few moments of staring at her. Her softened face against the pillows, her worry stripped from her forehead. The moments when he could scratch her scalp lightly with his fingers and she would just sigh in her sleep.

He loved her. He would marry her if the fear of a marriage being the prison of unhappy people. From his parents to Tom and shiv and even Kendall. Though he would push all of it away if it meant a forever of seeing her like this.

He remembers the conversation that made him fall. Hard and fast and slamming him into the cold pavement.

“I’d lay you badly but I’d lay you gladly” it was a joke, she had laughed slightly looking down at her computer typing a report or email for Gerri or Karl or whoever was yanking her around this week.

“Roman we both know neither of us would enjoy that” it stung, she was right, but it stung.

“I mean I would rock your world for like a solid 3 seconds before you realise I have zero clue what’s going on” she had looked at him, cocking her head to the side, eye brow raised

“Roman. Can I ask you something.” He was caught off guard, his own walls coming up slightly, shrugging he looked around

“Yeah what’s up” he didn’t know why he couldn’t look at her suddenly but he just couldn’t.

“Do you know what asexuality is?” Asexuality? Obviously he did, biology and science was one class he knew he passed with more then a barley passing grade.

“Like fucking ameba and shit. They fuck themselves and bam! Another single celled whatever” she laughed, he turned to her then smiling a bit more

“I mean in the biology, organisms sense yeah, but like I mean in people,” Roman shrugged again shaking his head a little

“Some new fancy label the ‘woke’ mob has made to make people like my dad and Kendall rage for no reason?” She shook her head at that

“No Roman it means you don’t really like banging. Like, you could live with out it. So to speak, you could go your whole life never caring to want it. It wouldn’t change anything. And weird bathroom door Jack off sessions aside, it means your just not that into the whole sex thing” he felt his face flush at her mention of his brief weird relationship with Gerri. He simply looked at her

“I mean sex is…super cool….I love fucking, all night, we could do it right now, and it would be…explosive” he knew she could hear through his wavered tone

“Roman, do you know why I haven’t even pushed having sex?”

“I don’t know your weird and religious upbringing scared you for life with trauma?”

“Good guess but no…I’m asexual. Like, sex is just, a thing, I don’t care if we have it, or not, we could never and I would be 1000% okay with that. I don’t need you to bang me, how ever satisfying or not it would be, because I just, don’t need it.”

Roman stared at her then, his brain buzzing, heart slamming in his chest, he assumed like grace and Tabitha, one day you would clamber for him to attempt the unsuccessful routine of making out, hand stuff above his pants, a seemingly awkward game of red light green light before both of you gave up and you walked off to finish yourself in his bathroom.

“Roman, i haven’t brought it up, because if we never have sex ever, I wouldn’t care. It wouldn’t matter.”

He wanted to scream, and cry and hug her. He didn’t know why but he did. He simply stood up, walked over to her, yanked her up and kissed her. His hands holding her cheeks, hoping she understood what he meant in it.

When he pulled away she smiled at him nodding

“One day we may, who knows, but one thing is for sure. We’ll both lay each other badly”

“But gladly?”

“Yeah, but gladly”

#roman roy x reader #roman roy succession #Roman Roy #succession #kieran culkin #roman succession #succession HBO #Kendall Roy #Connor Roy #shiv Roy

[thedoctorsthings]

bts jealousy scenarios

someone asked for this but I'm an idiot who doesn't know how asks work so I lost it.

anyways the ask was just 'jealousy' and that lack of instruction made my autistic ass scared. Here it finally is.

warnings: one (1) sad ending, angst, drunk person, history student writer finding it necessary to put one historical au in there. (why do i try to be funny in these intro/warning thingies? nobody reads this. I am a jester putting on a clown's show for the deaf and blind)

WC: Don't know, don't care

KIM SEOKJIN

She's dancing. Not only is she dancing, she's dancing with her husband...and it's not him. He watches her swaying along the dance floor with the better man. Seokjin knew he was the better man. If he wasn't you wouldn't have married him. Your new husband Jinyoung lifts you up and twirls you around and you laugh, a sound clear as water. You smiled brighter when you were with Jinyoung, laughed harder, moved with more energy. Seokjin knew he had lost. Still he couldn't bring himself to be angry. You were happy. That was all that mattered. When he lost you years ago he'd signed up for a life on the sidelines and now he had to bear the consequences.

The song ended and you let your husband go. Seokjin walked over to you right after gathering all his courage and swallowing the frog in his throat. "dance with me!" you said before he could. He couldn't find any words so just took your hand and walked you back to the dancefloor. once you've found your rhythm and are softly rocking back and forth on the shiny floor of the gorgeous venue, he finally finds his voice. "Are you happy?", He asks. "of course", you beam. "Just wanted to make sure", he says almost whispering. your smile drops: "are you okay?" you ask concerned. "When you're with me always". "You need to let me go Jin". He sighs, tears welling up in his eyes: "I'm sorry". It's the last thing he says before walking away out of the venue into the night. He'll take enough with this. As long as you're in his life he would never truly be unhappy. He'd be the dry dust of the savannah spending his time waiting to be blessed by your rain. He'd be the moon yearning for the moments he could take some of your sunlight every once in a while. If this was all the both of you could be then that's how it would be.

MIN YOONGI

You were dancing with Mr. Fleatwood again. Yoongi knew he'd been courting you for more than 10 months now. It was killing him. Why couldn't he just work up the courage to ask you. To go to your house as a caller instead of just waiting for you to look in his direction. His family was much wealthier than yours so there was no need for him to be embarrassed, and yet he was. Something about your divine beauty, your quick wit and sharp intelligence made him a nervous wreck.

"why don't you ask her to dance? What's the worst thing that could happen?" Namjoon, his best friend had come to stand next to him, his wife on his arm. "She could look at me". "oh you melodramatic piece of work!" Namjoon's wife exclaimed. Yoongi sighed melodramatically: "I'm too late, she's been courted by Mr. Fleatwood for over 10 months. A proposal can't be far away". "exactly!" Namjoon said with a smile Yoongi found way to optimistic looking. "they've been courting for over a year and no proposal yet. They're taking too long. If you ask me, she's trying to shake him off". "I've learned not to ask you things", yoongi chuckled, but while his friend walked of he considered what he had said. Maybe he did have a chance. "worst case scenario she dumps her glass over your head. It's a hot summer night, it'll be refreshing. Just go for it before I do it for you", Namjoon's equally optimistic wife whispered near his ear. All right then, here goes nothing. Yoongi walks over to you. "Miss, might I have this dance?" "If you take me away from that bore of a Mr. Fleatwood you can have anything", you smiled.

KIM NAMJOON

Namjoon's watching you on set. He came here to surprise you at work. This way he could drive you home to the dinner he made for you. When you told him you would be acting in a romantic comedy he thought he would be able to handle it. Turns out he couldn't. Your co-star just threw you on the bed and was crawling over you. When he kissed you Namjoon decided it was time to take a bathroom break.

When he comes over the scene is done and you're getting ready to leave. "Hey honey!", you beam at him. "Yeah, hey honey", he huffs. "What's up with you?" you ask frowning. "Nothing, I'd just like to get home", he answer dramatically looking away from you. You chuckle and figure you have an idea about what's going on here. "okay, okay, I'm almost ready". When you're out of costume you leave with Namjoon to the parking lot. He doesn't say anything the whole way. When he starts driving and you look over to him to see him angrily sticking his tongue in his cheek you can't take it anymore. You try to hold in your laugh while you ask him: "Are you upset about the scene?" "Don't laugh at me", he says curtly. "Oh come on Namjoon don't be ridiculous, it was only a scene for a movie". Namjoon dramatically looks out the window. "Would it help you if I told you that my co-star is an absolute dick that I can't stand?" "Would that be true or just something to shush my hurt feelings?", Namjoon says with a small smile on his face. "It would very much be true". "Do you need me to beat him up for you?" You laugh: "I shouldn't have to ask you things like that, you should just do it". "I prepared a date for us", Namjoon says after laughing: "I'm sorry I overreacted". "It's okay, I get it".

JUNG HOSEOK

You're sitting in front of him at the restaurant you agreed on. Next to you is your boyfriend and next to him is his girlfriend. God how he hates this. Why did he agree to go on this double date? Why was he dating Jinae? He didn't love her. Why were you dating this douchebag? He didn't love you and Hoseok didn't even want to think about the possibility that you truly loved him. Lastly, why oh why was he not the one next to you? You should be dating him. Hoseok was sure he could give you everything you wanted, make you so much happier than he could. He saw the way your boyfriend looked at other women. How he made little comments that made your smile drop. Hoseok had spent this entire date moping and barely talking. "So how long have you been dating again?", your boyfriend asks. "eeuhm...", Hoseok hesitates just long enough to make it awkward before Jinae saves him: "almost a month". An awkward silence falls before you ask your boyfriend to go dance with you. Oh God that's right, this godforsaken restaurant has a dancefloor and romantic music playing. Your boyfriend manages to catch himself right in time but Hoseok saw he was about to roll his eyes. He would never do that. If you asked him to to dance with you he would be the happiest man on earth.

You're on the dancefloor slow dancing with your boyfriend and Hoseok stares holes into the back of your head while ignoring his girlfriend next to him. He knows he's being horrible to her. That she doesn't deserve this, but he couldn't stand to be alone while you were with someone. "they're so cute. Do you think we could ever be like that?", Jinae asks with an endeared look in her eyes. "no". "What is up with you? Why did you bring me here, you've been ignoring me all night", Jinae sounds clearly offended. "I don't know, I think we should break up".

PARK JIMIN

You're laying on your couch watching some romantic movie. An empty container of ice cream is laying on the floor in front of you and the tear streaks are still clear on your face. You and your boyfriend just broke up. Apparently He couldn't handle your close friendship with Jimin. It had started with him making sly remarks towards him and ended with him accusing you of cheating. Doors had been slammed and tears shed but it was over now, for good. You'd gone straight home and hadn't contacted anyone. you Just wanted to be alone.

All of a sudden your shaken awake by the ringing of your doorbell. After blinking your sleep away you get up to open the door. On the way there you look at the clock and see it's 2am. The bell rings again right before you open the door. Jimin almost falls onto your floor. "What are you doing here?" You ask softly. Jimin leans against the wall and manages to slur out: "You've ruined my life". He smells of alcohol. "Jimin, what are you talking about?" "I can't stop thinking about you and your stupid boyfriend. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for years and now you have this idiot of a boyfriend. I hate him. he's so pretentious. You should be with me because when you're not it burns and I need you to make it stop. I know you love him. I know I don't have a chance with you. You're so smart and he's also smart and I'm not. You always talk about how amazing he is and I can't fucking take it. Maybe I should get out of your life, it hurts too much". All of this was rambled and a lot of it incomprehensible. after a moment of silence and Jimin trying to stay standing by holding on to the hallway mirror you say: "We broke up". "Come on Jimin, you can sleep on the couch and we'll talk tomorrow". "Okay, I love you", Jimin slurs while following you to the living room.

KIM TAEHYUNG

Your new fiancé has been proudly strutting around all night with you on his arm. You're gorgeous as always. His name was Dokyeom and he was annoyingly perfect. He was everything you deserved and everything Taehyung wasn't. You were the heiress of your mothers company and so you were always meant to marry the son of a rich family. That wasn't him. Taehyung came from an average family. The only reason he was here was because he was your best friend and you invited him to every single one of these events.

Dokyeom puts his arm around your waist, pulls you closer and Taehyung almost recoils. He couldn't take this. He had to get out of here. Since you were teenagers he'd been in love with you. Never once did he say anything. It would ruin your friendship with no point because he's always known you were to marry rich. And the worst part about all of this; you were happy. This would be so much easier if you hated Dokyeom. If you called Taehyung every night to complain about the horrible man your parents had arranged you to marry, but you didn't. You liked your fiancé.

He left. He had to. On his way out he asked one of your mutual friends to tell you he was sorry. He was just about to step out the door onto the street when he heard you call his name. "Taehyung, where are you going so early?" "oh, I'm just tired. Thought I'd head out early". "Without saying goodbye?" He hated this look on your face. Your face had fallen when he said that and now he felt horrible. You frowned and said: "you normally love these things. What's really going on?" He figured there was no point in lying. Maybe Namjoon had been right when he said that the best thing to do would be to be honest with you. So here he went; finally taking his chance after almost 10 years. "I can't do this Y/N. I can't watch you marry that guy. I love you. I love you so much and yet I can't stand to watch you be happy with someone else. I can't keep hurting myself.

"Run away with me", was all you answered.

JEON JUNGKOOK

He was going to kill that guy, and after that you. No, he would never do that; he loved you. He was just mad. Earlier tonight you had fought. You wanted to go out with your friends but when Jungkook saw the dress you were wearing he told you to change. It turned into a fight. You said he had no right to tell you what to wear and he had accused you of not respecting him. In hindsight he'd realised you were right. So now he was here at the club he knew you were at, to apologise. He didn't want to wait until you were back because then he'd be asleep and he knew that you wouldn't talk about it the next morning.

When he arrived he'd spotted you after a mere 2 seconds of looking at the dancefloor. You were dancing closely with some guy. He had his hands all over you but you seemed to drunk to realise. A couple seconds later you seemed to sober up a bit and told the guy to back of. He didn't of course. This was Jungkook's cue to step in. He marched up to the guy and pulled him away from you. "When a lady says back off, you back of alright you piece of filth". He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, "let's go home Y/N". "Okay, but I'm still mad at you". "Yeah about that", he lead you out of the club while saying: "I'm sorry about that, you were right I totally overreacted". He opened the car door for you and then went over to the driver's seat. "You should be able to wear what you want, I'll shut up about it next time". "Good". You said curtly. After a few minutes of silence you softly said "I'm sorry I stormed out without solving the argument". He looked over and smiled, "Forgiven and forgotten".

requests always welcome

#bts #bts headcanons #jimin #jungkook #namjoon #taehyung #yoongi #jin #hoseok #bts reactions #bts fanfiction #bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts angst

[stranger-rants]

I'm a little sensitive because I got into another car accident (I am okay. It wasn't bad, but considering I almost died in a much worse wreck, it did bring up some very unhappy feelings in me), but I absolutely hate the way this fandom talks about the car crash scene between Steve and Billy. They're completely insensitive and cruel about it, and I was much more sensitive about it then than I am now because that episode aired like a year after my own wreck.

But stick with me.

The scene itself was set up to make the "heroes" look cool and badass, but it doesn't actually feel heroic. At all. There's this season long failure to recognize and respect that there's a person trapped inside the possessed body the heroes are fighting, and as such they don't care what happens to that body. They would not have acted the way they did with Billy if it had been one of their friends that got flayed. So, that in itself makes everything feel less heroic. It actually makes me feel worse about these characters that I am "supposed" to love.

...but add onto that, people portray Steve slamming into Billy's car with a car that has no value to him as this "triumph over evil" scene. Worse, there are Anti posts with hundreds of notes either praising him or saying he should have finished the job. That doesn't vibe with the set up of the scene, and it treats Billy as the villain because it was his body in that car. The fandom also strives to portray Steve as someone who wouldn't hesitate to murder someone, as if he had the opportunity to really think about it before crashing into Billy. That's not the reality of it.

Billy would have never wanted to intentionally crash his car or seriously use it as a weapon. He may drive recklessly and he may have joked about hitting a few kids once, but that doesn't mean he wanted to hurt anyone especially while he was possessed. There's ample evidence that he didn't want to do any of it. He said The Mindflayer made him do bad things (kill people) which obviously traumatized him, and then there was ample evidence that he continued to fight against the possession.

The car was one of the few things Billy had that represented his freedom away from his abusive home, and that gets totalled in a scene that fans get downright gleeful about and for what? What does it really say about their favorite characters or even about Billy? Billy sat there in the car revving his engine with his lights on, crying. The Mindflayer took everything from him. This was just one more thing. What's so triumphant or heroic about any of it? As soon as the cars collided, The Mindflayer had full control again and Billy was marching towards his death.

Not only that, but the scene of Billy passed out in his car in flames just screams tragedy to me. I know how painful a car wreck can be physically and emotionally. I couldn't move on my own after my wreck without excruciating pain, so I know how much his body was screaming at him to stop even though The Mindflayer wouldn't let him. It's an extremely upsetting, tragic scene to me because I know he's feeling everything while having control over very little. That's what car accidents feel like. You don't have control, and it feels horrible.

I just can't comprehend why that scene in particular is the height of fun entertainment for so many when it's so painful to me, and maybe it's because I take it more personally but maybe it's also because Billy isn't treated like a person who deserved better than the horrific amount of torture and pain he went through.

#text post #it really infuriates me #billy hargrove #stranger things

[joesalw]

Ok I'm sorry but this is gonna be a long rant.

I am an ex swiftie (also a minor) and I joined the fandom back in 2022 after midnights released. Before that I had heard a few songs but I barely knew anything about Taylor before 2020 and I did not know about the Kimye stuff or anything.

When the bejeweled music video was released I did not realize the easter eggs so thus I thought that I need to become parasocial and I NEED to know everything that taylor has done every minute of the day (referencing Do you really wanna know where I was April 29?)

I went deeper into the hole. I started getting obsessed with Taylor. I clicked on every video , post and podcast mentioning her. I genuinely became a parasocial fan. I only heard her songs and barely cared about other artists. I hated on her exes (Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer especially) because I believed that they had hurt Taylor to no extent. I still don't like them/am neutral but I don't hate them anymore. In march I joined tumblr because I heard Taylor was on here and I have no other social media to support her from so I came here to give her my support.

In April , the breakup happened. I was genuinely devastated. Joe was and is an amazing person. I was shocked to see her move on so quickly and date m*tty he*ly . I was even as a child shocked as to how someone can move on so fast. But also move on to someone so problematic after calling herself an activist? Idk what was wrong with her. But IG as long as she is happy.

She broke up with him. We all rejoiced. Speak now TV was also announced! Yay!

I remember so well on 7th July I was in school and I was so fucking excited about it coming so soon I couldn't sit still. I was counting down minutes until it's release even tho I did not have any devices to listen to it on. My friends were so happy to see me happy and excited af.

I went home and heard speak now tv. Amazing experience for me at that time.

I became the person who said shit like : I hate everyone but Taylor and Taylor is a gift to this Earth and etc etc.

But the amount of joe hate and joeover and joebless jokes annoyed me. Why were we hating a person who was in her life at her worst moments? Taylor would never condone or allow this.

But boy was I wrong.

Most of the hate against joe was my #Strike 1 for leaving the fandom.

Then came along Traylor. I was like oh ok as long as she is happy :))

Then she started associating with the nfl people. Br*ttany M*homes and Abuser bitch.

When I heard of this I was like wtf Taylor???

Weren't you the one who was going off about being on the right side of the history and believing victims?

I was like it's fine maybe she doesn't know or maybe she will stop once she knows.

She didn't

Then she won person of the year. I was already very unhappy with Taylor at that time. But I still was like Yay! Congrats! But maybe you shouldn't be the one to win it?

Then the doxxing by a swiftie happened. It was #strike 3

I left the fandom. I still had hope she would change.

Now after seeing her jets emissions (I'm a huge Environmentalist and a feminist so this shit bothered the living helm out of me) and her continuously hanging out with brittany piece of shit and all the joe hate going on, I am beginning to despise her.

I had initally blocked hate pages like yours but Now I open your posts everyday and check them because I relate to them sm.

I went from a person defending every action of Taylor's, being the only one in my entire theatre who knew the lyrics to all the songs of the eras tour movie , having Taylor as my top artist of the year with more than 60 percent of the songs being hers to despising her so much for being fake and stuck up.

I remember after I left the fandom and not many people knew about it , A classmate said something against Taylor and her songs directly to me daring me to oppose it and I genuinely wanted to cry because I thought that I would now always be associated with this fandom.

The ex swiftie in me genuinely wants 2016 to happen again so Taylor will be removed from the pedestal she is put on by so many. She needs to be saved from herself and her parasocial fans.

And I used to say I would love Taylor forever but I suppose forever really is the sweetest con.

TLDR :- I USED TO BE A PARASOCIAL SWIFTIE WHO USED TO LIVE AND BREATHE TAYLOR BUT NOW I'M SLOWLY STARTING TO DESPISE HER.

Sorry this was so long I had to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading it!

ex swifties are my favourite people in this planet rn

#anti taylor swift #ex swifties

[lethalchiralium]

part 2 of the 1940's fic with simon please 😭

I think we all need it...LOL

make sure you're taking care of yourself, though! we love you ❤

Jubilee Line | Simon “Ghost” Riley x Wife!Reader

a/n: i can’t lie to y’all. this has been done for like two months, but i have been tweaking it and am still somehow still unhappy with it? it’s fine. i’m fine. i’m being an ass. PART THREE SOON I PROMISE (i have been taking care of myself, thanks babe!)

warnings: SET IN 1940’s AU. Mentions of war, sort of accurate WW2 event dates. Mentions of being a Prisoner of War, mentions of torture.

summary: Lieutenant Simon Riley was coming home. He was finally coming home to his beautiful wife, but little did he know that at the end of his journey, there would only be heartbreak.

This is the second part to You Leave Me Wounded and Bleeding!

“Hermano.”

Simon’s eyes flickered up from the ring in between his fingers, tugging it slightly on his leather ID tags. Alejandro looked at the ring before meeting Simon’s eyes.

“Married?”

The Lieutenant nodded, looking back to the ring, seeing how the once polished gold was now rough and scratched. He thought to polish it when he arrived home, hoping the jeweler in town was still there.

“How is Manchester, then?” Alejandro continued the interrogation, talking a lot more than he ever had before. Before the train ride across England, before the Japanese POW camp they were captive in, before the Pacific Theater. “And your wife? Any niños?”

Simon scratched his jaw a little, still staring at the ring. “No.” He’s thought about it when he was away - maybe it wasn’t so bad to have children to come home to. His wife was expected to have children by her young age and she was nervous about it, he was too. “Not yet, at least.” He wanted a daughter that looked just like his wife, wide smile and beautiful eyes. She would be named Winnie, short for Winter - a name that meant a lot to him.

“That’s too bad, hermano. Children are gifts,” He reminisced as he sat back in his train seat. Simon was all too aware of the emptiness of the train cabin now, noticing again that there was barely a handful of people on this train due to the amount of body bags in the other cars. It was a funeral train, and Simon could feel the ghosts all around him. Alejandro spoke again, “I used to take care of my little sister when I was young. I couldn’t imagine living without my family.”

“Are you married?” Simon gruffly pestered, the man opposite of him shrugged.

“Not yet.”

Simon hummed in response, his head then turned towards the window - rain pelted the glass. He let the ring fall, it hit his uniform with a dull thud. He wished then for the photo of her he usually kept in his breast pocket above his heart, but the camp had burned his last uniform and in turn, his last photo of you.

His friend cleared his throat, Simon did not move his gaze. “How long since you’ve been home?”

“Two and a half years.” The man answered, now settling his hands on his thighs. “Was sent home for six months since I was one of the first deployed from England.”

“Hermano, you have a lifetime of being on your knees and begging for forgiveness.” Alejandro’s boot hit his, Simon looked back to him. His friend sat forwards, resting his elbows on his knees. “You have a lot to make up for.”

Simon grunted in response, sitting back against his seat. “She’s waiting for me.”

Alejandro huffed with a smirk, shaking his head. “Estás tan seguro. Eres un tonto.” He wiped his face before continuing, “No wife should have to wait that long. It’s rough being alone for so long, and waiting for someone you don’t know is alive or dead?” He sighed again. “La habrá destrozado.”

“See, you’re speakin’ all this Spanish, and won’t tell me what you mean.” The Lieutenant glared at him.

“You’re a pendejo. A fool.” Alejandro pulled a Lucky Strike cigarette from his jacket, handing it to Simon.

He nodded and took it, still waiting for Alejandro to speak so he could demolish his idea. “Yeah? Why’s that?” He pulled out the brand new Zippo lighter from his pocket, flicking it open and igniting a flame. He held it out for Alejandro, who had his cigarette in his teeth and leaned forwards - lighting his. He sat back when he was content with his cigarette, pulling a drag while Simon lit his.

Alejandro blew the smoke from his mouth, crossed his ankles and spoke. “You should have let her go.” Simon’s eyes darkened. The Colonel glared at him before sitting forwards again, letting his cigarette settle between his fingers. “That is torture, being away from the one you love for so long. I’ve done it - it’s not something you can be fine with. It’s impossible to be okay if you’ll never know if they’re coming home in a uniform or a casket, hermano.”

“Been through it with ya fiancé?”

He leaned over to the wall of the cab, tapping his ashes into the ashtray. “Twice.”

Simon did the same, taking another drag before answering, “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Alejandro blew a huff through his nose, eyes glaring at the Lieutenant. “You always have your soldiers go first, even though you have the priority.”

“Those muppets have kids, I don’t.” Ghost’s voice was flat, taking another drag and letting the smoke coil from his mouth.

“That’s the issue.” Alejandro kicked Ghost’s foot again. “You still have your wife.”

Dark eyes glared at the Colonel.

Alejandro continued. “You still had someone waiting for you.”

“Have, Vargas.” The man tapped the ashes of his cigarette in the ashtray before sitting straight up against his seat. “You’re wrong about her.” He took a long drag then, eyes staring out of the window, noticing how the trees and rainy fields turned into the outer city of Manchester. His heart jumped in his chest then, ready to jump out of the train and run home without any of his measly belongings.

He was ready to see you, his wife. Ready to settle his hands on her cheeks, kiss her like she had sculpted the sun with her bare hands. He was ready to hold her head to his chest, press her body into his because he had missed her. He wanted to hold her, tell her how he would make it up to her. Repaint the guest room, replace doors, get a dog, redo the siding. Anything she wanted, just so he could feel her skin underneath his fingertips.

The Colonel only hummed, taking a short drag before blowing the smoke through his nose. “You’re going to get hurt, hermano. I’d hate to see it.”

Simon finished speaking then, decided that if he were to continue, he’d pin Alejandro to his seat and press his knife into his friend’s throat. So, he took another long drag, watching as green trees went past with nothing but a whisper to the wind.

It was another hour before he had arrived at the Manchester Train Station, barely anyone stood in waiting for soldiers - he took in the familiar sight he hadn’t seen in years and scanned the crowd for his wife.

“Is she here?” Alejandro’s voice sounded from beside him.

Simon grunted. “Don’t see her. She’ll be at the house if she’s not here.”

“Okay.” Alejandro nodded as Simon walked forwards, his pace incredibly fast while the Colonel muttered, “Rezo por tu corazón, hermano.”

Simon didn’t take the time to admire how the streets were full of life, how the trees began to dim their lush colors - how as he got closer to his home, there was a ice cold thrum in his heart.

The lights were off, he noticed. He was halfway down his street, almost home - he could almost smell that perfume she loved so much. Alejandro was far behind, finally deciding to let Simon run home.

He stumbled up the porch, his hand engulfed the front door knob and he tried to twist it - it was locked. He growled in frustration before he looked up to the porch light shaped like a lantern and pulled up the little hood, digging his hand around until his fingers grasped the spare key. He didn’t even put the key back when he unlocked the door, shoving the door in and dropping his dufflebag to the floor.

He called your name, awaiting the sound of footsteps when his wife fluttered down the stairs. He waited in the foyer for a moment, nothing but silence canvased the house. His eyebrows furrowed, he walked forwards and into the kitchen - he almost walked into the living room to call his wife’s name again when he noticed a folded piece of paper, leaned against an old vase on the kitchen counter. He strode straight for it, only to take it in his hand.

-

Dear Simon,

I am writing to you this in case something happens. Something I cannot think about, something that can very well happen and I don’t wish to dwell upon it. These words are the only way I can express it if I am no longer able to voice them.

You’ve written me almost every week during this horrible time, about every thought and moment that caused you pain. It hurts me to know that I cannot ease your agony. It pains me that I cannot be by your side, even for a fleeting moment. You have such a kind soul, Simon Riley. I can only imagine how it will all of this affect you after the war.

Even long after your letters have stopped arriving, no British Army soldiers have appeared upon our doorstep yet - no telegrams have graced my fingers with your name upon them. That must mean something, right? That you are safe, breathing? For the past two and a half years, I’ve waited for your return; not to mention the three years before that. The danger is gone now, Simon, and you’re not here. They’ve been arriving by the train load for the past week, and none of the lists have your name. I musn’t worry, I know you will come back to me. You have a habit of keeping promises, my love - as well as secrets.

I’ve heard stories from wives, whispers among the streets about some soldiers coming home and no longer being themselves. They’re hollow, lifeless - I’ve seen a few myself. It is like the undead have invaded Manchester, they walk about with no emotion in their eye, no care for their family as they walk beside them. I’ve watched them from our bookstore, watching as their small children tug on their father’s hands and he vaguely responds with a lifeless smile, sending them away from himself. Their wives do not give away any note of worry, perfect smiles and small touches to their husbands as if to comfort them in a small way. It’s not hard to recognize the wife’s pain, it’s a pain I hope I will never know.

I’m scared, Simon. Terrified, really. What if you do not step off that train tomorrow? What will I do if I must return home in silence, no longer in your grasp? No longer sleep without the knowledge that you’ll be coming home? Well, I suppose I haven’t had that knowledge since February, but it still feels crushing to say. What will I do if you return to me and you are no longer yourself? I know war must change a man but I’m not sure how I will live if I never see your smile again.

What will I do if you do not return? Will I become like the hundreds of widowed wives, crying forever and waiting for their husband’s remains to return home? Will I be able to go to the plaza everyday, knowing that you’ve touched this place before? Will I be able to stay in our home that you’ve put sweat and blood into, just for us? I can’t think anymore of it.

I don’t think I could ever understand it, that I would ever want to. We’ve talked about it, but it still doesn’t make the ache in my soul any lighter. I cannot think of you anymore, it feels like my heart is playing a melancholy tune on a piano well beyond its years; playing a song I never knew it had memorized. And it’s like my fingers are stuck to the keys, dancing ever so slowly as if the crescendo in the sheet music keeps darting away. The climax of our story hasn’t even crossed the page yet; I keep playing this haunted tune and I don’t want to anymore. I want to rip my fingers from the keys and push myself away from the piano. But I only play this tune as I wait for you, only when you’re away from me. What will I do if this will be the only song I can play for the rest of my life?

My mother sent for me. This morning, actually. I was sitting in the study, going through the mail. My father is dying back home in America, and I must go. But I feel that I cannot leave here without knowing. I cannot leave our home without knowing if I get to kiss you or kiss the stone that will lay above your head.

I’ve wondered what it would be like for you if I leave for America this very moment. You place your key into the lock, twisting it and opening up the front door. The house would be dark, no warmth from the fireplace, nothing to signal that I would be home. Maybe you would think I abandoned you, maybe you would think I had perished. But, I know you. There will be no need to worry, Simon.

I’ve waited so long for you. So long for our life to grow, to spend more than a fleeting moment behind a bookshelf like we did when we were young. I’ve sat in every room of our home, praying and wishing for your safe return. I’ve hoped and wished so hard that I feel that the universe no longer hears me. Oh Simon, I’ve waited centuries in the collective almost six years you have been gone from my side. I’m not sure if I can wait any longer.

I will love you forever. Even if you have left this precious Earth, even if your feet still tread upon it. But I can’t wait for a ghost when I have been waiting for my husband almost our entire marriage. My father is stable enough, they believe. He has two months to live. And because I love you, Simon, I will wait exactly one month after the last train arrives in Manchester with a list of soldiers.

And if you arrive when I have gone, I am sorry. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come back to our home empty handed, even if you are there - because you always leave. You always leave and I have always needed you, Simon. Always. You have hurt me in unimaginable ways, my love, even if you always find your way back home to me. So, just this once - I will be the one leaving. I can’t come back. I won’t come back. I won’t come back to a house that is no longer ours. I will not come back to a house that is just mine.

I love you, Simon Riley. Don’t ever forget it.

Forever yours,

Y/N.

-

It only took him two minutes to read the letter.

It crumbled into a ball in Simon’s hand, the scarred palm of his right hand stung before he let it fall to the kitchen counter, abandoned.

It had taken him a month and a half to return from a prisoner camp in the Pacific. Alejandro and him were captured on their way back to base, tortured until the camp had finally gotten word that the war was over on the 25th of September. It was October 10th, past how long she would have stayed and waited with bated breath for him to return to her arms.

All he could think of was her. Every burn, slash, gunshot; every time they choked him, beat him, they could not erase the woman that was his wife. She was the only reason why he even made it through, why he was even alive. He had to make it home to her.

And now that he was home? She had gone. Flown from their nest, gone back home to her family. And all he could do was see red. He wanted to punch holes into the walls of his house, scream until his throat bled - but all he did was chase her ghost upstairs, almost busting his bedroom door off of the hinges when he burst into the room. The bed made, lights turned off - he ripped open the wardrobe, seeing that some of her favorite dresses had gone, but not all. Opened the dresser, seeing that it was empty of her belongings and all that was left were his undershirts. Half of them were gone too.

He turned back to the bed, he could almost see her laying there, a smile on her face as she would say, “Come to bed.”

He kneeled, tugging an old suitcase out from under the bed, standing and throwing it open upon the comforter. It was dusted, he didn’t even bother to cough when he rummaged through their papers. He pulled out his passport, flipping it open and seeing a different man upon the page. If this was another day Simon looked at his passport, he would’ve remembered a young man still in the throws of war, but he was still not what he is now. A villain, a monster.

A Ghost.

He slammed the passport closed when he made sure it was still in date. He shuffled through the papers again, seeing that hers was gone - but he began to notice papers that weren’t there before. He began to pull them out, one by one - seeing that they all had the same heading.

Dear Simon,

I don’t know how to

Dear Simon,

I don’t have the

Dear Simon,

I hate this. I can’t hate you. I can’t hate you I can’t hate you I can’t I can’t I can’t

Alejandro was right.

He had destroyed her.

It didn’t take him long to shove the passport in his jacket and bolt downstairs, skipping every other step. He grabbed his packed dufflebag and ripped open his front door, seeing Alejandro jump two feet in the air, dropping his cigarette.

“¡Qué carajo!” He sort of shouted as Ghost stomped past him, throwing his dufflebag on his back. Alejandro pulled closed his front door before running after the speeding Lieutenant. “What the fuck!”

“We have to go.” Alejandro grabbed his wrist but Ghost ripped his arm out of Alejandro’s grip, looking back at the man with a hollow expression. “She went home.”

“Hermano, lo siento.” He spoke immediately but Ghost didn’t stop walking when he turned back around. “¿Qué es lo que haces? Ghost, if she went home, that means-“

The Brit turned on his heel so fast that Alejandro couldn’t react when he was lifted into the air like a toothpick, the grip Ghost had on the man’s shirt sounded like it would rip at any second. He made direct eye contact and spat, “Her father is most likely dead. She can’t lose me too, so shut the fuck up, you muppet.”

Alejandro squawked, Ghost dropped him immediately and turned away, speed walking towards the train station. He called, “You know, I said I would escort you home, not to America!” The man didn’t respond, he just kept walking. Alejandro mumbled to himself before running to keep up, “Querido Señor, por favor, déjame matar a este hombre en un futuro próximo.”

———

taglist (thanks for being patient my loves): @oranoyaora @dest-nai @rafaelacallinybbay @belyyvolksblog @its-astrotea-love @redzscare @multitargaryen @efsa-lks @thehoneybunny @punziesworld @fanformany @ivycasket

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Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

———

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #call of duty #lethalchiralium #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x fem!reader #simon ghost riley cod #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley call of duty #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon riley x you #simon riley cod #simon riley call of duty #simon riley mw2 #simon riley x wife!reader #simon ghost riley x wife!reader

[darlinboypresley]

i takes strength to forgive but...

pairing: Austin butler x y/n

Summary: Austin cheated on you and now he's back

Warnings: Angst angst angst mentions of cheating uhm... Cursing mentions of a break up and mental health

It's been months since you last saw austin. you swear you had nightmares from that Saturday in july. you got a phone call from your boyfriend you two had been dating for about 3 years, you haven't seen him in weeks at that point, and was so excited to talk to him, in excitement you picked the phone up. the only thing you didn't expect to Hear him and some girl moaning.

sure it hasn't all been Sunshine and rainbows, but the trust that he betrayed and the confusion that still lingered, he took EVERYTHING you loved and crushed it between his two fingers, you haven't talked to him since it happened, it's been 5 months he tried to contact you he tried trough you’re friends, family hell he even wrote you a letter saying how much you mean to him and  how sorry he is.

you told them you didn’t care and said you were fine. but they knew you couldn't let it go. You tried and tried and….. tried again,  and if he ever thinks about the damage that he did, but you held onto every detail like your life depends on it… So here you were on a random Thursday night. At 2 am fantasizing about everything he'd say he's a little fucking sorry until you heard Baning on you're door. you frowned, sure you didn’t live in the best part of the city.

But this was a first,  you opened the door and your heart stopped for a minute and all you wanted to do was scream, there he was… looking a mess the smell of alcohol hit you the moment he stepped closer. “A-austin W-what are you doing here..?” you mumbled as austin cupped your face.  “i miss you, I miss you so much baby i was so goddamn stupid.” he muttered as he walked both of you back into your apartment. 

you remembered the countless arguments you won in your head, in the shower, the car, the mirror before bed  you name it. every time you hoped he’d feel sorry. and here he was standing in front of you and you couldn't get a word out. and here he was apologizing over and over again, 

after a whole while you spoke up “do you ever think about the… damage that you did…? cus i hold onto every little fucking detail austin, i tried to understand why you did this to me. were you so unhappy?” you spoke as he interrupted “no baby not at-” he stumbled over his words. “Austin, let me talk,” you said and sat down on your couch. “I really wonder how anybody could do the things you did so easily aus… like did I deserve it..? I try to be tough and I try to be mean. but even after all you did you’re still everything to me…”

you said as tears streamed down you’re as you looked  up you saw the tears stream down his face. you blinked your tears away before continuing. "And I know I hurt people, hurt people and we both drew blood but cuts were never equal austin, you had everything and you still wanted more i-i dont get it.” you spoke with your chest “i never did anything but be there for you and support you..” you said choking in your tears. 

‘i… i was drunk, it didn't mean anything, and when i heard you cry on the phone y/n i… I snapped back to reality, you are the only one for me …. it's always been and always will be you baby, i'm so sorry… I'm so sorry I haven't been here  for you, i… can we restart? I know I don't deserve it but… please can we restart?” he pleaded 

you sighed softly ‘it takes strength to forgive austin and.. I'm not sure I'm there yet, I guess…  i'll give you another chance… but we take it slow my pace.. okay? you asked softly 

Austin nodded “thank you thank you thank you.” he said. and grabbed your face and kissed you softly he had his girl back he couldn't be happier. you on the other hand felt … scared to give him your heart again… 

the evening ended with you falling asleep in Austin's arms.

#austin butler #austin butler imagine #austin butler x reader #austin butler elvis #austin butler fanfiction #elvis 2022 #elvis presley #x reader #elvis movie #austinbutler!elvisxreader

[dckweed]

girl where is the elijah smut you talked about i’m dying for it

it's right here baby:) sorry mamas been in a writers block bout and i was taking some time away to recover after surgery (i havent told my fiance bc he'll freak out but they took three biopsies of something while they were inside, completely unexpected but other than me swinging at my OR nurses when they took out my intubation tube, and the full body rash i got from the soap they use, that surgery went well) but im back bitches.

p.s. told y'all id post something today..

p.p.s yall don't understand how feral i am for elijah mikaelson 110% inspired by jack harlow saying 'sent her back to her boyfriend with my hand print on her ass cheek' and you're welcome for it

warnings: MINORS DO NOT READ. spanking kink, marking kink? idk if that's a thing or what it's called but it's in here. maybe choking kink? dominant elijah 100%. cheating reader.

PART TWO

"..let him see my hand print on your ass cheek.." elijah mikaelson x female!reader

Now look, you were a good girl okay? You loved your boyfriend, you'd been together for years and you had never once thought about leaving the man, that is until you met Elijah Mikaelson. You were a friend of Rebekah's, unintentionally dragged into her ancient family drama but more than happy to help nonetheless and you had liked all of her brothers, despite their attitudes from time to time. But Elijah? Elijah was something different.

The attraction had been there immediately, the way he made your heart race, and your skin flush, you pretended not to notice the way he had smirked at you, as if he knew (which of course, he did) that your body was reacting to him in ways that it had never reacted to anyone before, let alone your boyfriend. What started off as a polite relationship had quickly turned into a flirtatious fling, both of you becoming braver and beaver with each other and what your actions were, knowing full well what the consequences could be. And eventually, it turned into a full on affair.

Elijah was insatiable in bed, something you found out very quickly and something you didn't even know you longed for. You didn't realize how unhappy you were in your sexlife at home until you had started fucking Elijah, and when he had started showering you with dates and expensive gifts? You slowly realized how unhappy you were in your romantic life as well. You could never bring yourself to break up with him though, he was a nice guy, sweet and caring, you'd been dating since the middle of college but something just felt so empty between the two of you, so you managed to balance your life between both men, difficult as it was.

Today, your boyfriend was dropping you off at the Mikaelson family compound, you weren't expecting to see Elijah today, thinking he was off searching for something for Klaus, so you thought nothing of it when you let him walk you to the gate and give you a long kiss before sending you on your way, smacking your bottom playfully as you stepped inside.

"I'll see you this afternoon, honey!" You called over your shoulder, giving him one last smile before he moved out of view. You sighed in relief, turning around to face the house, only to find Elijah a few feet away from you. You jump, hand to your chest. "Jesus, Elijah, why are you just standing there like that?" You ask, looking at him with a half cocked smirk. You were happy to see him, though judging by the annoyed look about his face, he didn't seem too pleased to see you. "I thought you were out of town still.."

"I finished my trip early, there was nothing to be found, no reason to stay longer." He says, hands going into his pockets. He was truly beginning to become annoyed by your boyfriend being in your life, especially when he thought he had been making his intentions with you quite clear. "How was your weekend?"

You shrug, rolling your eyes. "Dull. We went antiquing with his mother." You say, and though you loved antiques and his mother, he had brushed off the plans you had been trying to make to do something more interesting and you were intensely bored the entire weekend.

Elijah hums, not feeling the least bit bad for you, though he would have much rather spent his weekend with you. "Antiquing? Sounds dreadfully dull." He says, his lips pursed as he looked you over. You did look divine in your yellow and white dress, and judging by the way he could smell you, you weren't even wearing panties. The thought made him want to go feral, he wanted to take you up to his room and absolutely wreck you for doing such a thing, how dare you go without panties around his brothers? around your boyfriend even? especially when you weren't even expecting him to be home. He had more self control than that. He swallows thickly. "Well, I'm sure you and Rebekah have something planned for today, I'll catch up with you later, darling."

You pout as he walks away, you had expected him to at least kiss you or something, like he normally did, you wondered if something was on his mind, he seemed more brooding than usual. Sighing, you make your way to Rebekah, you find her in her room, a couple bottles of your favorite wine already waiting for you.

"Why the face?" She asks as soon as you walk in, she was on her feet in an instant, pulling you to the couch. "Talk, love, you don't ever look like that.."

You furrow your eyebrows at her words, what did you look like? She shoves a wineglass into your hand, filled to the brim with your favorite white Riesling. "Is Elijah..upset with me?" You ask, looking up at her, bringing the glass to your lips at the mere thought of it. Your best friend of course knew of the relationship between you and her brother, the entire family knew, and none of them had ever made you feel any less welcomed, infact, they seemed to embrace you more, Klaus had even given you the 'always and forever' speech over a family lunch, winking at you in a way that you knew he meant it.

Rebekah furrows her brow this time, looking at you like you're insane. Upset with you? Elijah all but worshipped the ground you walked on, she had never seen him get cross with you, though he had been expressing annoyance towards your relationship, particularly the one with the man you called your boyfriend. "Well, love, if he is can you hardly blame him?" She asks, not trying to sound heartless but also trying to help our her brother some. "Y/N you just made out with your boyfriend right in front of him, i didn't have to see it, i can smell it on you.."

You closed hour eyes, throwing yourself back onto the couch. God, how could you not have put two and two together? "I'm an idiot." You sigh, downing half the glass in one go.

Rebekah hums as if agreeing with you. "Y/N, why do you even stay with him? You're clearly in more of a relationship with my brother than you are with him." She knew her brother was in love with you, but she also knew that he was too honorable of a guy to not let you make your own decisions about this, even if he was directly involved in this situation. "Elijah is a patient man and he would wait forever for you, but at this point, i feel like you're stringing them both along, it's unfair to both of them."

You stay quiet. She was right. You were in more of a relationship with Elijah than the man that you actually went home to, most of the time you couldnt even stand to be around him, the two of you barely even held a conversation anymore. So why hadn't you done it?

Why were you being so stupid?

Why weren't you thinking with your pussy and your head?

"Fuck, I'm an asshole aren't I?" You say, looking over at her. You had made up your mind. You were going to break up with your boyfriend tonight, you needed to tell Elijah. "You're right, it is unfair. There's only one thing that I want and it's to be around your brother twenty-four seven, I've let this whole thing go on for too long."

You get to your feet, downing the rest of your wine glass. "I'm going to talk to him, I'll be back in a bit Bekah."

"Do try not to be loud, it's disturbing knowing what my brother does in the bedroom." She calls after you, watching you walk away with a happy smile on her face, happy that she managed to kick some sense into you.

You roll your eyes, headed down the large hallway to the door that you knew was his. It was closed and at first you weren't sure if he was even in there but you raise your fist anyway, knocking gently on the thick wood.

After a few moments the door opens just a crack, Elijah appearing in the open space. His hand shoots out before you can even speak his name and grabs onto the poofy bits of your dress, pulling you in to his room.

You squeak, but the sound is covered by his lips, the vampire taking you into a kiss immediately, his strong arms tensing as they pull you flush against his body, holding you in place as he moves his mouth against yours. You can't help but moan, the possessiveness of the kiss alone making you weak in your knees as you let yourself go slack against him.

Elijah hardens at the sound, at the feel of your body against his own, though he can't help but growl in annoyance as he breathes you in. You smell like him, your boyfriend, the one who makes your life dull but yet you continue to stay with him. He had plans to change that though, if you weren't going to break up with him, then Elijah was going to give him a reason to break up with you.

In a flash he has you sat atop an ornate chest of drawers, his face buried in your neck as he left hickies in his trail across your skin. Even though it was dangerous, he had never once let you leave him without at least one of his marks on you, his own personal way of marking his territory he assumed.

You moan, feeling his large hands slide up your thighs, your legs spreading apart as he steps between them. You feel his fingers squeeze your flesh, fingertips digging in to your skin as they near your bare pussy, already quivering excitement for him.

Your hands go to his hair, pulling as you lift his head up, a moment of clarity as you catch your already heaving breath. "Elijah, I - oh.." You close your eyes, sinking back against the wall behind you as his fingers finally find your cunt, two of them sinking deep into your hole, your walls clenching around the missing size, already wanting his cock to be buried in you instead.

"Hm?" He hums, eyebrows raising in what you suspect is amusement, or perhaps patronization. "What were you saying darling?" His other hand trails around to your backside, squeezing the flesh of your ass tightly, his fingerprints indenting on the skin.

You clear your throat, voice shakey as you try to speak, your brain fuzzy as to why you had left Rebekah's room in the first place. And then he starts to move his fingers, curling them just the slightest bit as he moves them in and out, knuckle deep in your wet, squelchy cunt. Your hips move up against his hand, wanting more as you suddenly remember that he had asked you a question. "Uhm, I..I wanted to talk to you about..oh fuck..erm..him.."

His hand stops, and you hear the growl in his throat as he pulls his fingers out of you, the digits glistening with your slick juices. He looks at you, eyes darkened and for a brief moment you're scared that he's angry, because he is angry. "What of him, hm?" He asks, head cocked and voice low. His hands goes to your hips, your slick now coating the outside of your dress as he lifts you off of the dresser and and sets you on the floor. "He is quite literally the bane of my existence, why must we speak of him now, hm, when im trying to ruin you, love?"

He's looking down you, menacing aura surrounding you and you look away nervously as you feel his hand slide from your hip to your neck, his strong palm wrapping around your throat as his long fingers clutch your face, drumming your cheek just slightly. "Answer me, darling." He says, moving your face harshly to look up at him.

You swallow again, eyes looking over his face. His features are hard, his eyes dilated and dark. You can see how tense his jaw is, feel the emotions radiating from him. His grip on your throat and face is tight, but not enough to hurt you, but you can feel him restraining himself.

"I..wanted to apologize about earlier..should have stopped him.." You say, your voice shakey as you stumble over the words that you had seen so clearly in your mind before you had come into his room. Elijah hums, head cocking as if telling you to continue as his fingers tighten their hold just ever so slightly with a gentle flex of his hand. "I..don't want to be with him anymore.. ive been letting it go on too long, when ive had feelings for only you this entire time.."

Elijah's face changes, and he drops his hand from your face, moving it to cup behind your neck as he looks into your eyes, angling your head upwards as if searching for any trace of a lie.

"I want it to be just us, Elijah. I hate splitting my time between you because when im with him, all I think about is you and what we could be doing, and when im with you all i think about is how sad i am to go home." You ramble, wanting to let your words press in.

"Y/N.." He sighs, barely audible. You see his shoulders relax, his entire body untensing as he leans in to kiss you, it's one of complete and utter passion, his tongue dancing with yours as your lips move together in messy harmony. You moan, your body melding against his as he pulls you closer in his arms, pressing you tightly to his hard frame.

Elijah has a hand in your hair before you know it, you gasp as he pulls on it, moving your head to the side as he goes back to your neck, sucking on your pulse point for a moment, just long enough to leave a dark mark, the groan that escapes your mouth at even his slightest touch is one of absolute filth and you hear the growl in the back of his throat.

He still wanted to wreck you, and after a moment, he pulls away from your neck, looking down at you with the most shit eating smirk you'd ever seen adorn his face, he had quite the idea of how to break the news to your now ex-boyfriend.

"Maybe I can help you tell him, darling, let him know just how much you've been mine all these months.." He says, he wanted to let this man know just how much of an absolute love drunk, cock whore you were for him and only him. He wanted to ruin this man's year for having the audacity to kiss you in the way he had this morning, in front of his home no less.

"And just what exactly are you proposing?" You ask, voice lofty as your brain isn't fully with you anymore, focused solely on the man in front of you, waiting for him to have his way with you.

His smirk turns into that of a sinister grin. "Darling, you've been quite the bad girl today, don't you think?" He asks, voice coyly toying with you. His hand is still in your hair and he uses it to his advantage, turning you around and pushing you forward towards his bed, your bed now, he uses his grip in your hair to bend you forward, your face going downward into the mattress, arms supporting you still. "Bad girls," Elijah says, his voice a deep sultry tone as he presses his clothed crotch against your bottom, you feel his hard cock as he kneads a handful of your ass in his hand. "get punished, don't they baby?"

You whimper at his words, the forceful grip of his hand gripping your ass giving you more arousal than you could have thought in that moment. Elijah had always been the one in control when you were in bed, but this side of him was new to you, and oh so fucking sexy..you feel the want, the need for him building up in the bottom of your stomach as he presses his cock against your ass.

He hums appreciatively as you push your ass back against him. "Be a good girl and take it for me, yeah?" He says, the hand that wasnt squeezing you pushing the bottom of your dress up, the material laying on your waist, your bare ass and pussy on full display for the vampire above you.

Without warning you feel a stinging on your ass cheek, the sound of skin smacking ringing through the large bedroom and most likely down the hallway. You gasp, feeling his hand squeeze your cheek almost affectionately as your body reacts in the most glorious way for him.

Elijah had never really been one to spank you, he had smacked your ass a few times when he was fucking you from behind, like most men do, and sometimes even playfully in passing but this? You could just feel the arousal coming off of him as he towards the action a few times, on both cheeks.

His hand came down firmly, his whole hand leaving red imprints the harder and longer he did it for. You moaned after a few, the feeling of it getting to you in ways that you didn't even know it could, you hear him make a noise in the back of his throat when he finally decides he's finished, using both hands to squeeze and rub your stinging ass cheeks.

"Good girl, darling..." He had gotten out, you felt one hand leave you and hear him struggling with his pants for a moment, of which he grows quickly annoyed with and with a grunt he uses his vampire strength toi pull on the button, sending it flying as he pushes his pants and boxes briefs down, letting his cock finally spring free. "Look at how beautiful, all laid out for me, pussy so wet it's like a river, my marks on your ass.." He sighs in pleasure as he pushes his cock into your already gushing pussy, the sight turning into a full blown moan as he feels you clench around him immediately, already over stimulated just from the spanking alone.

Your moan isn't even a moan, it falls into some kind of high pitched noise as he starts rolling his hips, not quite fucking you roughly but not doing it gently either. His hand his back on your ass, squeezing and smacking lightly, not wanting to let the red ebb away just yet.

"Good fucking girl taking my cock so well, already so spent for me and we've barely just started.." He drawls out in that accent, setting a faster pace than he had before as he lays over top of you, his lips near your ear, hands on either side of your head as he boxes you in to hold himself up. "Gonna go home after this and show that silly man what I did? Send you back to him all fucked out nice and proper?" You moan at the words, the mere idea of it making you clench even tighter around him, it must feel good too because his words falter for a few seconds.

One of his hands goes back to your hair as he supports himself on one arm, pulling on it just enough to lift your head up off of the mattress to press your ear to his lips, moans and mewls escaping your throat every second. "Gonna let him see my handprints on your ass cheek, sweetheart?" He drawls out again, hips snapping into you at a new pace, the new angle of him over top of you having you on edge damn near immediately. "Tell him all about how you're all mine and you have been for the last year? Tell him all about how I've been fucking you, and loving you better than he ever did? Hm?"

The words for straight to your pussy, and it happens so fast that you can even tell him that you're cuming, he knows though, he can feel you gush down his length, your juices coating his pants as they brush against you. "Yes," You moan out, leaning your head back farther into him. "god, yes..all yours Elijah...only you.." Your words are broken but he understands the meaning, his grunts becoming deeper and his thrusts faltering in your pussy as the promise behind them hits him at his core.

He sits up, his hand giving one last slap to your ass cheek, the sight of the red outline of his hand sending him completely over the edge and he cums in a matter of seconds, a feral, filthy noise escaping his generally polite mouth as he does, letting his hot, thick cum coat the inside of your still sopping wet pussy, his hands gently kneading your ass once more before he pulls out, lowering himself to his knees. Gently, as if they're made of glass, he kisses each of your ass cheeks as if they're about to break before spreading them wide enough for him to get a view of your pussy, using his tongue to catch his cum as it slowly drips out of your aching hole, still glistening as he pushes it all back in with his tongue. You gasp, pressing back against his face, over stimulated to the point that your body is too weak to even hold its self up.

When he's satisfied, he pulls away, turning your over and taking you into his arms. "I was serious darling," He says, smirk still riding his lips as he plants gentle kisses on your face. "I'm going to send you home like this, let the message sink in as you pack your bags, heading over just enough for him to see what's marking your ass like a badge of honor, rub it in his filthy face when I come to the door to pick you up.."

You sigh, your hand going to his face. "People underrate you as an evil person, you know?" You say, a chuckle escaping both of you. You know damn fucking well you'll do it though, you were too down bad for this man, so dick whipped that you would do whatever he asked.

"I know, darling." He kisses you, all tongue and teeth for a moment before he helps fix your dress, giving you a gentle snack on the ass as he does.

part two????

#elijah mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikealson x reader #elijah mikaelson smut #mikaelson #the originals smut #the originals

[qtssvnwoo]

I See You, So See Me- Lo’ak Sully

Description: You had feelings for Lo’ak ever since you saw him arrive that day in the village and you had done all sorts of things to try and bring to light the feelings you had for him. But, you felt as if he had all his attention only on your best friend Tsireya. For him, it only took a motivational speech to realize his true feelings. 

Word Count: 

Warnings: None! Might be weird but it’s 23:42 and im tired 

A/n: MY FIRST ATWOW FIC!! So be nice to me, also if you can’t tell, “admiration” is my new favorite way to describe an undeveloped love.

You had your eyes on him first. You had watched him carefully as he stepped onto the white sand of the shore. You were fascinated by him, you knew he was different right when you saw him, and not because his skin was a darker blue than yours, or that you had different tails. But you saw something in him, saw something in him that you didn’t see in anyone else. 

And that’s what lead you to like him. Besides his looks, you had felt some sort of connection to him that you had never felt with any other Na’vi before. And, as you slowly started to see, so did your best friend Tsireya. 

You saw how she smiled when he said ‘hey’. You saw the way she was so eager and willing to help strangers she did not know. You saw the small gestures of physical touch between them and you knew that you had no chance up against her. 

You tried your best to show Lo’ak what you had truly thought of him. You made him a necklace, and a matching bracelet that went with it. You helped him even more than anyone else with breathing exercises and learning the ways of the Metkayina people. You did more for him than you did anyone else, purely out of the admiration you had for him, and yet, nothing. 

—----------------------------------------------------------It was at night that you found him sitting on a rock and looking at the sunset. The yellows and oranges came together beautifully as to quite an Ombre of colors that seemed to be set out perfectly for this moment. You saw how he was sitting, and how he was throwing the rocks in the water, that he was unhappy. Something told you to leave him be, but your fleshly desires pushed you to walk forward and sit next to him. 

No words were exchanged for a couple minutes. He just sat in the presence of you, no longer feeling as alone as he was before. But, after a couple minutes of pure silence and listening to the waves crash against the sand of the shore you spoke up. 

“Lo’ak, I see that there is something troubling you. Would you like to talk about it?” 

Lo’ak looked at you and for a moment you saw a glimpse of anger and a mix of sadness in his eyes. He threw his head back down to stare at the rocks and lightly shook his head. You knew better than to push him to talk about it, but you felt like, at this time, you needed to. 

“Lo’ak please,” You placed your hand on his and leaned forward to try and look into his eyes, “Talk to me.” 

At this point, Lo’ak was frustrated at the sudden form of affection that he was receiving. He couldn’t explain why he was so frustrated that someone was actually caring for him, and caring about him, but he just was. Lo’ak stood up abruptly, and he took a deep breath as if he was trying to calm himself down before he said something that he did not mean to see, purely just because he was angry.

“Listen, I’m not in the mood to talk okay? Why can’t you just leave it?” 

“Because Lo’ak, I am worried about you.” 

“Yeah well, why? Why are you so worried about me? Me of all people Y/n” 

You stared at him in confusion and watched as he looked at his hands and repeated to himself “Me of all people.” The look on his face broke you. He looked so hurt and so disgusted with himself. The fact that he hated himself because of something he could not control hurt you. 

You walked forward to him and you went to reach for his hand, to which he pulled away. 

“Y/n, I do not need comfort right now. I need to be alone.” 

“Lo’ak…”

“NO. No okay? Just leave.” 

He sat back down and crossed his arms over his knees. He fully expected you to walk away, but you stayed and gently rubbed his back as he sat in his own silence. You let the sounds ewya was making comfort you too like a warm blanket. You heard the sea hit the shore and the distant chatter of people talking. And you just let Lo’ak sit and think, but not by himself, you didn’t want to leave him in such a vulnerable place. 

Lo’ak lifted his head from his knees after a while and looked at your prying eyes. You opened his mouth to say something, but it was as if the words were stolen from him, or that he had forgotten how to speak because nothing came out. After a couple more minutes of silence, Lo’ak finally looked at you and uttered the words he was searching for. 

“You were the nicest person here, you never treated me differently and didn’t laugh at my mistakes and you stayed here with me. Why?” 

“Why not?” That was all you said. Inside you were screaming at yourself to tell him, to tell him that the reason why you cared so much was the fact that you had admired him so much, and that he made you feel things you hadn’t felt for any other boy you had met.

“Because Y/n, because I’m a freak.” 

“A freak, Lo’ak what are you talking about?” 

“I’m a freak Y/n. Demon blood, look.” He put his hand up and wiggled his extra finger, you looked at his hand and studied the lines on his palms. Before he put his hand back down, you slowly reached up your hand and placed it on his. Your fingers didn’t match perfectly, but the way your heart was beating gave you a boost of confidence. You ran your fingers across his and watched as his face became more and more flustered. You enclosed his pinky with your hand and you smiled. 

“This,” You held his pinky in emphasis to prove your point, “This does not make you freak Lo’ak.” You continued to trace his arms, “Neither does this,” Then his shoulders, “Or this,” And when you reached his face, you smiled softly and cupped it with your hand, rubbing your thumb over his cheek as you spoke, “and definitely not this. You Lo’ak, are Na’vi, and no one can tell you otherwise.” 

Lo’ak smiled and held your hand that was holding his face. He looked at you and for the first time, he felt like something was there, something new. 

“Lo’ak, I See You.” You felt your heart stop at the words you were saying. The words felt so right to say, but you were so scared about what he would say. And he said nothing. You felt stupid for saying it, but since you had started you felt no harm in counting.

“I see you, so see me Lo’ak.” His heart stopped. The combination of the sunset colors hitting your face and the words spilling from your mouth made his heart stop. You took his silence as rejection and you looked down and started to get up. 

Lo’ak got up with you, and he grabbed your wrist. 

“I see you, Y/n. I see you.”

#loak #loak x reader #loak x y/n #avatar the way of water #loak sully #atwow x reader #atwow #atwow spoilers #loak headcanons #loak fluff #loak angst