#who's the dumb one and who's the dumber one?

[nerevarswritingstuff]

macaque teaching nibby how to fight???

MAN it would be such a SHAME if one of them (the emo one) started to view the other (the cool emo one) in a ROMANTIC FASHION

Oh wow it'd be SUUUUCH a shame if it one of them (the dumb one) started to just feel FEELINGS for the other (the dumber one)

Such a shame indeed //sage nod

#not writing #tiaf asks #who's the dumb one and who's the dumber one? #well let's just say #it's nibby #nibby is the dumber one #y'all will find out how and why later #but they're so fucking stupid when it comes to romance oh my god

[dreamofbecoming]

listen i know we all love steve “completely ignorant of queer culture to the point that bisexuality is a surprise” harrington being roasted and educated in turns by robin and eddie, yadda yadda, good stuff. i read “they made a horror version of rocky?” in a fic recently and cackled. also a big fan of “he knew he was bi from the start and just never talked about it” as a trope, love it excellent well done

but what about steve who realizes after starcourt that the most important person in his life now has this thing that’s a major part of her life that he knows nothing about, and what if he fucks it up? what if he says something ignorant or rude by accident, and hurts her? what if he loses her because he didn’t know the right thing to say? what if he can’t keep her safe because he doesn’t know what to look out for? absolutely fucking not, this steve says

and listen she’d never say anything, because she can tell that he can tell how much she likes teasing him and teaching him things, so he plays dumb, and she thinks it’s very sweet. but she notices when the zines she keeps under her bed that she buys at that one secret bookshop in indy when she can sneak away on family trips start going missing, always one at a time, and replaced in a few days with another disappearing. and she finds the new ones he must have gone to buy the weekend she was at her aunt’s house hidden in the back of his closet when she goes to steal one of his sweaters. and she notices when he slips more of her queerer movie recommendations into his personal take home pile rather than the movie night stack when he thinks she’s not looking.

she doesn’t notice when he drives to indianapolis after she tries to explain to him why she can’t just ask out a cute girl, tries to impress on him the fear attached to every moment of attraction that he simply has never had to feel, but later she finds a crumpled receipt from a diner in one of his jacket pockets when she’s looking for his keys, and the address is across the street from the bar the gorgeous woman at the bookstore told her about, the one she memorized the address of but hasn’t worked up the guts to think about visiting, and she knows he must have gone looking for a place like that, must have been trying to understand, must have been scoping it out to make sure it was somewhere she could feel safe, after she told him she never had.

so when eddie nearly pops a blood vessel when they clock each other and she mentions that steve is the only person she’s ever come out to before, her hackles come up. because she gets it, she does, he’s only known king steve until recently, so it makes sense that he would be afraid, be concerned for her safety.

but steve is her person, and no one- no one- has ever made her feel as protected or as cared for as he does. no one has ever tried as hard to understand her, no one has ever put so much work into making her feel safe and seen and loved. and she thinks maybe even if no one else ever does, that’s ok. because she has steve, and more importantly steve has her, and that means no one gets to question his ally credentials in her presence without a dressing down to remember, no matter how well they mean or how recently they helped save the world.

(and maybe she’s not as surprised as she could be when he figures out bisexuality all on his own, because she’s been reading all the same pamphlets he has, after all. and she’s seen the way he looks at eddie, i mean come on. maybe no one else has noticed, but then, nobody knows steve harrington like she does.)

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #platonic stobin #steddie #(if you squint) #this got away from me #i just really love love giving steve a bit more credit yk? #like yes he’s very stupid and he has a history of being self absorbed #and we love that about him #he’s very flawed and that makes him interesting #but i really feel like one of his defining traits is his need to be useful to the people he loves #combine that with his abandonment issues and i really feel like he would be scared of fucking up and losing robin #and yeah he would play dumb like he does with dustin and d&d #but i don’t believe he knows nothing about d&d after all this time and i don’t believe he would let himself know nothing about queer culture #i’m just so so attached to the idea of steve who knows that teasing him for being dumb is his friends’ love language with him #so he pretends to be dumber than he is so they have chances to explain things to him #also stobin sharing clothes is so so so important to me just putting that out there #anyway i just think they’re neat #my writing

[bucephaly]

It's kinda shocking to me how few people seem to know how prevalent the 'my great grandmother was cherokee' myth is and how it's almost never actually true, especially when it comes with things like 'never signed up' or 'fell off the trail' or 'courthouse burned down destorying the documentation' etc etc.

People just don't even seem to know the history like.. when the Trail happened. My great great great grandfather was 2 years old during Removal in 1838, so peoples 'my great grandmother hid in the mountains!' is so clearly wrong. And we have rolls. From before and after removal, rolls done by cherokee nation and others by the government, rolls that were not stored in one random flammable courthouse. It's not difficult to find the actual evidence of ancestry.

And just.. there are lots of ways those family stories get started. It was a practice during the confederacy to claim cherokee ancestry to show one's family had 'deep roots in the south' that they were there before the cherokee were removed. Many people pretended to be cherokee and applied for the Guion-Miller payout just to try to steal money meant for cherokees - 2/3rds of the applicants were denied for having 0 proof of actual cherokee ancestry. [We even see lawyers advertising signing up for the Miller roll just to try to get free money.] And the myth even started in some families in the cherokee land lotteries, where the land stolen from us was raffled off, including the house and everything that was left behind when the cherokees were removed. We have seen people whose families just take these things stolen from the cherokee family and adopt them into their own family story, saying that they were cherokee themselves.

If you had some family story about being cherokee and you wanna have proof one way or the other, check out this Facebook group run by expert cherokee genealogists that do research for free. Just please read the rules fully and respect the researchers. They run thousands of people's ancestries a year and their average is only around 0.7% of lines they run actually end up having true cherokee ancestry.

#and ive heard even dumber origins of the cherokee family myth #such as an ancestor having a silly sounding name so the descendents just go 'oh she mustve been an indian!!!' #i was one of the few people who had my ancestry done on the facebook and had genuine cherokee ancestry #[though i had found it before it was just really validating to get it double checked and i started finding cousins (:] #like. i was told once when i was a kid by my grandma that my dad had cherokee ancestry and i didnt believe her. its wild that so many peopl #will make it a Fixture of their identity [or even just smth they bring up ever] with Zero proof #at least for cherokees from what ive seen its usually considered really disrespectful to claim to have cherokee ancestry without #actually having the documentation [like ancestors on the rolls] #and no a dna test doesnt count. nor does 'my dad is Clearly not white!' or 'high cheekbones' or old family photos or anything #i had this discussion with someone recently whose dad had been calling himself 3/4 native but didnt know exactly what nation ???? hello? #and its like... sorry but ur dad is like. italian lol. #[and blood quantum is bullshit anyway im tired of the 'im 1/16 cherokee' comments its dumb #cherokee nation does not have a blood quantum requirement. its pointless bringing it up in the discussion of who is or isnt cherokee] #also mandatory disclaimer that im reconnecting. i didnt grow up connected to the culture of even knowing my ancestry #this is all from my looking into this stuff over the past year or so. i cant claim to be an authority over anything regarding this #this is p much all my repeating things ive heard said by people who know a lot more than i do haha #man. and this isnt even starting to get into the fake tribe stuff. the only legit cherokee groups are the 3 federally recognized bands #cherokee nation of oklahoma. united keetoowah band. and the eastern band of cherokee indians. #any others that are state recognized or not at all arent acknowledged as legitimate by any of the legit cherokee groups #anyway. my final message goodb.ye #cherokee #tsalagi

[eddis-not-eeddis]

Dealing with newcomer's embarrassment gets easier if you are surrounded by people you have no respect for.

#oh this other professional saw me do something stupid that messed up my paperwork? #but she does shady things worse than the mistake i just made on purpose to make a buck #oh i just said something dumb to my boss #give him a few hours and he'll say something even dumber to me #oh no the guy who has been working at this job for twenty years just saw me make a rookie mistake #agony abounds but he just did six other things a lot worse than I did all in one day so i'll live with it #oh no the manager is a little disappointed with my performance? #so what he's a pushover and he won't say or do anything about it anyway i'll do better next time #oh no my one coworker hates my guts #she hate's everyone else's guts too and literally never shuts up about it #i'm not special #it sounds kind of depressing--and it can be #but i have a lot of affection for these people regardless of their issues #i just don't really let my failures around them bother me too much anymore because i honestly don't care what these people think of me #i'm not going to make the same mistakes ever again #but i don't have to let this stuff keep me up at night because i did something wrong #if i'm not going to go to them for advice why do i care what they think about me? #it was something that i realized a few months ago and ever since it's made things a LOT easier to deal with #plus #these people aren't dwelling on my failures either #they all have their own stuff going on #yeah they might harp on it for a while bit new things will come up and eventually they forget #they aren't thinking about me that much anyway #XD

[pr]

waiting for the shawn mendes response tweet like

#from a pr perspective this is one of the dumber statements she has released - and on CNN??? GIRL??? #like im not even speaking from a perspective of being a gaylor oh no im wrong who cares #like there are SEVERAL dumb things so poorly thought about this statement the first one being PEOPLE DO SPECULATE #ON MALE CELEBS SEXUALITY??? ALL THE TIME??? DID YOU FUCKING FORGET HARRY STYLES???? #also the fact she used shawn mendes was either so intentional bc she KNOWS there is TONS of speculation #so she wanted to drag his ass in front of her as a body shield so that conversation would be distracting #or shes a fucking idiot and somehow DOESNT know about those rumors and gay hand gestures #and has now been a huge hypocrite on FUCKING CNN duuuuude come on #i could go on but i digress #cant wait to see how this is received tbh (outside of yall once again finding a reason to harass bully send kys anons and demean #gaylors which yall LOVE to do 🙃) #op #ts #gaylor

[crusheswhimsandfancies]

This comment cracks me up. So true

#non-threatening hans gruber #good observation #especially like it bc I had/have a thing for hans gruber #brewster’s millions #morty king. king of the mimics #I love how he says ‘who am I?! I’m morty king! king of the mimics!’ #bearded rick #look at that 70s tuxedo #it’s like the ones in dumb and dumber

[torgawl]

they're so silly

#he literally burried him and then gets mad he got burried 😂 #they're literally two idiots who think they are the normal ones in the duo like dumb and dumber #they have so many funny panels #the one they're fighting for a sausage is also extremely enjoyable sgsjhs #vashwood beloveds <3 #trigun spoilers

[pluvicor]

ooc: Well, got to that point where the first doctor (who I lovingly call "brain doctor") I saw about some problems took a look at me, didn't bat a lash and went "yeah, you're getting checked for ADHD with correlated GAD" so that's where I am currently: in hell.

#As Luiza said: The ADHD theory is getting progressively closer. #Unrelated but related: my boss is truly a disrespectful woman but much of what she disrespects me for #is caused by difficulties I have related to these problems I saw a doctor for. #The main difference is that though my previous job was hellish by virtue of what kind of department I work for #I had a boss who understood these difficulties and adapted to my needs instead of yknow treating me like I'm a dumb bitch. #This one boss now? She's a belittling prick and makes me feel dumber each time we speak #which has made my performance worse but woe is me. #I'm really looking forward to the therapy sessions with a neuropsychologist as prescribed. #If not ADHD then at least I'll get some guidance to the things I can't control and impact me in my everyday life. #ANYWAY. Rambling over just throwing it out there #tbd. #ooc.

[comicalcarnival]

"X AU_ Missed Connection"?? it sounds sad...

it starts off as like. Angst train 101 but surprisingly speedruns into "the entire Xio team has adopted X (who has taken on Daichi's appearance and is claiming to have amnesia) and now X has like, 5 siblings and 4 parents"

there's teeeechnically a fic I posted about it already (The Dream is from the MC au) but most of it is unposted still. (which is a shame, its like. 30k words and only 6~ chapters so far. well, 6 chapters and then mini .5 chapters between every chapter w/ silly in between moments/things only mentioned in the main chapter/other chara's introspection on misc events)

I'm tempted to post it, but also i feel like I should re-do the first few intro chapters so it's more coherent (p sure i wrote those ones back in 2020...? MC AU's been a WIP for SOOOOO long, awhoopsie.)

#comical asks #Anonymous #its planned as a rewrite of the series so theres 22 chapters/episodes #chap 17 also has a bit of work on it done? its a 2-parter w a horror premise #i figured since X is a phone #it would be fucked up if someone hacked the Xdevisor. #temporary antagonist: robot!X who has to watch his body attack his friends against his will :) #also ep 16 (24 hrs inside xio) also happens and X tries to host an AMA as the .5 chapter for that #i should shut up now sorry i get excited abt the missed connection AU #ive put way too much thought into it but im too shy to talk abt it #one last thing. if your curious why 'x eats rice off the floor' is a joke MULTIPLE fics on Ao3 reference #its referencing chapter 2 of MC #X who is too dumb to realize he needs to feed a human body to live. desperately tries to eat rice after he learns he needs to eat. #MC X is just. X being extra dumb. still the polite lad we know. just dumber than bricks

[deus-ex-mona]

my [redacted] anime parody fic really do be bringing all them bots to the yard

#is this fic bot cursed ​or sth p ls— first it was kudos brigaded in its first iteration and now t hey’ve hit the comments too lmaooooo #w d y m ‘this is a masterpiece’ and ‘a delightful and entertaining read’ this is just a [redacted] anime parody fic h e l l o ? #i mean. lbr there’s no one who’d ever think that way about my so-called writing lmfaooooo #like e x c u s e m e bot wdym by ‘author’s wit’ i’m literally dumber than a brick. like ‘i have no idea what an adverb is’ dumb. #i’m sorry for deceiving y’all fine folk </3 i’m the same idiot who coasted through english classes in school based solely on gut feeling #like i didn’t even know what the definition of a noun was till i was 12. and verbs. and adjectives too while i’m at it. #so y e ah. don’t come to me looking for decent writing i have none. (hint hint) #so it’d be nice if the bots flocked to a better author instead (hint hint) who’s more worthy of the ai-generated praise they’d spout (hint) #g o d im so tired how is it not the weekend yet </3 #anyways see y’all next week for the full ver of mmj’s teammate + the potential lxl version of it #though… if it t r u l y is a lxl song… does this mean that lxl is yuri confirmed— [is dragged away by the ankles] #inedible blubbering

[costulata]

at this point, it's getting annoying seeing these types of videos

#don't wanna be rude are people just getting dumber and so full of hate? just cus of a singer saying he knows how joan of arc felt? #obviously he doesn't know aggghhh it's just lyrics #it's like saying you hate on a singer for saying they like to party in a song but you found out they don't so you run your mouth #if you do one google search you actually know the meaning of the lyrics #the walkman is to reflect the youth and how morrisey can't relate to them cus he has a BIGMOUTH #also the hearing aid part is to pay tribute to the band's deaf fans #the whole lyrics is basically about how the band is frustrated with the music industry and they're constantly attacked by the media #just like joan of arc who was accused of crimes she didn't do #I'm not really a big fan of the smiths I'm just so tired seeing people on tiktok being dumb af

[teaboot]

As someone who learnt english as a second language via textbook, I have to say "flying by the seat of my pants" is a hilarious idiom xD

It's the first time I've seen/heard it.

Could you share another one you like using?

Idk about idioms specifically, but there's a bunch of phrases I learned from my mom!

Lord love a duck! (Incredulous, like 'oh my god')

Lord suffer in sheep dip! (Sheep dip meaning sheep poop. Incredulous, but for annoying things- like 'are you kidding me?')

Is there a piano tied to your ass? ('Don't be lazy, do it yourself')

Someone's cruising for a bruising. (You're picking a fight.)

I don't give a rat's rip. ('I don't care'- a rat's 'rip' is it's butt crack.)

Pull up a stump! (Get yourself a chair, sit down.)

Everybody out of the pool! (Get out of the car)

I'm flying by the seat of my pants. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.)

Don't go blowing smoke up my ass. (Don't over-compliment me, don't flatter me, don't stroke my ego, don't tell me positive lies)

Looks like it's gonna rain on our parade. (A storm is coming.)

Sorry to rain on your parade. (I've given you bad news- can be used sincerely or sarcastically to denote sympathy for incurring a bad mood.)

Better button that lip. (Stop talking.)

Someone's gonna stick a boot up your ass. ('Stick a boot up your ass'- fight you, beat you, kick your ass.)

Stick that lip out any further, and a pigeon'll shit on it. (Stop whining.)

Suck it up, buttercup. (Stop whining.)

Dumber than a fence post. (Very stupid.)

The back forty. (The wild or forested area behind a rural home. The 'forty' being forty acres, or farmland.)

Don't go begging for a fat lip. (Whatever you're saying or doing is going to bother people and get you in trouble.)

What on God's green earth (What the fuck)

I'm sweating like a pig in a porta-potty (like a pig in a plastic outhouse- I'm very warm, it's hot here)

He thinks the universe flew out of his ass. (He thinks he's more impressive than he is.)

Your mouth wrote a cheque your ass couldn't cash. (You promised more than you were capable of providing.)

You've got a horseshoe up your ass. (You're very, very lucky.)

Taking a dirt nap. (Dead.)

Pushing (up) daisies. (Dead.)

Give me forty acres to turn this rig around. (I need time and space to move this large, heavy, or unwieldy thing. Usually about navigating a vehicle. Taken from a song lyric.)

Jesus take the wheel. (God help me, I can't handle this, I give up.)

Gone belly-up. (Has died.)

We've got a floater. (This one is dead.)

Herding cats. (Trying to organize chaos, managing an impossibly complicated situation.)

I've got a black thumb. (I am bad at growing plants, all my plants die- reference to having a 'green thumb', or being good at growing plants.)

Stop trackin' floor cookies. (Floor cookies are bits of animal shit that fall off your work boots- 'tracking floor cookies' means wearing your boots in the house; take your shoes off at the door.)

Running around like a headless chicken. (Frantic, disorganized, stressed out by many tasks or panicked by a big situation.)

Spinning my wheels. (Waiting around for something to happen, getting nowhere, frustrated by inactivity, not making any progress towards a goal.)

He's gonna blow a gasket. (He's going to lose his temper, he's going to be angry.)

They'll tan your hide. (They'll punish you severely; usually through violence. Specifically in reference to a spanking.)

He's a few bricks short a load. (He's not clever / he doesn't think things through / he's crazy)

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (Not the smartest person. Very dumb, clumsy, or absent-minded.)

I'm not going to bail you out. (Not going to save your sinking boat- not going to help you out of your bad situation.)

Looks like things are going south. (The situation is growing worse.)

I'll start making tracks. (I'll leave now, I'll start working, I'll get going.)

He's fucking the dog. (He's not being productive, he's doing a bad job, he's made things worse, he's screwing around.)

He's making puppies. (Less graphic version of 'fucking the dog'.)

Plant your ass. (Sit.)

Playing grab-ass. (Procrastinating- accomplishing nothing, slowing people down.)

He couldn't find his ass in the dark. (He's stupid, ineffective, underqualified, or incompetent.)

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. (He is unbelievably, comically dumb or ineffective. He can't do anything right.)

One foot in the ground. (Dying, or half-dead.)

I'm kicking rocks. (I'm not doing anything productive.)

I'm hauling ass. (I'm running away.)

Madder than a wet hen. (Very, very angry.)

Like I said I'm not sure that these are all idioms but they're all the phrases and sayings from my childhood that I can remember right now

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I forgot my mom's favourite

52. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets filled first. (Wishes don't come true by themselves)

Plus some more I forgot:

53. You make a better door than a window. (You're in the way of my view.)

54. You can take a long walk off a short pier. (Go fuck yourself.)

55. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. (He's stupid.)

56. Scoot your poot. (Move over.)

57. Not my first rodeo. (I know what I'm doing.)

58. He's built like a brick shithouse. (He's broad and sturdy and very strong, solid.)

59. I smell bacon. (I saw a cop nearby.)

60. I don't want to hear a peep. (Stop talking.)

61. You're thinking with the wrong head. (You're making bad decisions because you're horny.)

62. I'd lose my ass/head if it wasn't tied on. (I'm very absent-minded, forgetful.)

63. That went down like a lead balloon. (That situation was bad.)

#Teaboot

[gremlingottoosilly]

Bimbo!Reader who's convinced Pushover!Konig is just a big teddy bear of a giant

He literally beat up a guy who tried to hit on you, and you were fussing over him, ruining that pretty shirt you helped him choose. Konig has no sense of style or tact, and he is very sensitive to criticism - but this is where your inner critic is shutting up, and you just fuss over him like he is just an overgrown baby.

Konig feels like your fussing over him is a bit embarrassing and generally a humiliating process, but he doesn't care - not as long as he can feel your hands on his face when you're wiping away the blood. You're adorable, fucking precious, and he can't wait to ruin you - just as soon as you'd stop being so dense about his hints...but you won't stop, and he finds himself in a weirdly wholesome relationship. It might be that you're just too dumb to see the signs, but he kinda likes your immunity to red flags - and besides, he is smart for the both of you...and likes being cared for too much. You drag him over to your favorite cafe, and he forces himself to stop thinking about fingering you under the table. You would probably allow him, especially while you're wearing a skirt that barely covers your ass and your cleavage is deeper than the knife wounds he used to inflict on his opponents, but he is far too nervous for this. Doesn't want to appear weird, even as you scoot closer to him and ask what he thinks about the necklace you bought with the money he gave you. He stares at the little space orb settled perfectly on your tits. He gulps. Konig probably needs to stop excusing himself in the middle of your dates to jerk off in a public bathroom, but the other possibility would be fucking you senselessly and making you even dumber than you already are...and it's not really an option. He keeps telling himself that he is not weird, but he allows you to sleep on his chest when you're too tired to go home after a movie night, and then he'd massage your tits for the rest of the evening. He keeps telling himself that he is not weird, but it's easier for him to snatch your panties and use them for masturbation than actually asking you to fuck him. The worst thing is - you trust him. You look at him with your precious shining eyes, and you act like he isn't a fucking war criminal who can snap your neck in a second. You give him too much power, trusting him so blindly - he knows he is going to snap one day. Like a rope slowly untangling from its threads. Like a metal cable that is going to escape your arms and cut through the soft skin of your palms.

#cod #konig x reader #konig #yandere konig #cod x reader #yandere cod

[jackalopefreckles]

Yeahh idk this years been bad for me i was hoping it was gonna get better but it?? Doesn't look like it

#i mean yeah I got top surgery but that was the only good thing and I almost killed myself when my parents made me cancel the first one #im just so fucking sad and tired and im sO fucking broke #i lost.. all my savings to a fucking phone scam so yknow my fams been treating me like Im even dumber #which yeah idk it was dumb but I was so scared and they said I was gonna owe all this money and be responsible and possibly face jail like #phone scams work for a reason thats all Im saying #and then I broke my fuckingg ankle and the cops never fucking did anything about the person who was responsible so?? yeah #i lost my job cause of that had to have surgery on my ankle twice #im just so tired and I was excited I thought Id be able to do college again and do it?? the way I wanted to #without my shit parents bossing me around and making all my decisions for me no matter what I say or do #and i mean.. yeah thats falling apart now I have to get a job like now maybe 2 #my brothers job is in danger now like hes been supporting me during all this fucking mess like.. idk its bad yall

[txttletale]

i saw an old post of yours about racial coding where you mentioned “the taako wars.” i tried looking it up and couldn’t find anything. i know who the character taako is, i’ve listened to TAZ, and i know that in the podcast griffin refrained from making Lup’s full name chalupa because that could be stereotypical, but what were the taako wars? were they related to that or am i going in the wrong direction

so taako (ik you know this but i'm explaining for the layman) was a character on the adventure zone, a comedy d&d podcast. his name was taako taaco and he was on a quest to invent the taco. pretty typical d&d podcast comedy stuff.

& then fans, who, to be fair to them, were probably just being well-meaning but dumb teens with a warped idea of 2015-era Social Justice Concepts, decided that this meant that taako was mexican-coded (because his name was taako) and that therefore it was racist that he loved stealing (because, yknow, d&d comedy podcast), and, in a mindbending piece of tautology, that he was called 'taako'. now obviously it would be insanely racist if white boy justin mcelroy made a mexican d&d character called taco taco. but he didn't. taako is like. an elf.

so then this controversy gained another, dumber layer, when the graphic novels were printed and taako was green. this kicked off two rounds of discourse. one: that green skin was an antisemitic stereotype, a claim that i've literally never seen sourced to anywhere than tumblr blogs and never heard in any context other than taako discourse. two, that it was cultural erasure to make him green because he should be a brown-skinned mexican. the guy named taako taaco. who loves stealing and wants to invent the taco.

then in the funniest possible resolutionm to this griffin mcelroy, the DM, decided to avoid having this elf Culturally Appropriate from mexicans by inventing the taco anmd so had a mexican kid from the real world isekaied into the fnatasy world. to teach hjim how to make a taco. i still cant believe that was the actual resolution

anyway tuymblr in like 2016 was a very silly place

#ask

[yanderenightmare]

How does Shiggy react to a darling who developed Stockholm Syndrome?

Shigaraki Tomura

TW: NSFW, captive darling, Stockholm Syndrome, ish benevolent sexism

fem reader

You kissed him a little while back.

It was strange, as though you’d forgotten yourself – lost yourself in the heat of the moment. But no, it had been deliberate and long-lasting – earnest and needy even. And had rendered him both speechless and in a panic.

He’d entered the room in a rigid mood and woken you up with a bite to your ass. Pulling your thighs snugly around him with his cock already swole between them – tugging your panties down your thighs while you were still rubbing the sleep from your eyes with a yawn. 

You’d learned rather quickly never to fight him. He’d punish you with bitemarks and no food, and ultimately you grew too weak to reject him anyway. So your casual acceptance wasn’t anything new where you patiently awaited getting fucked – lying on your back while looking down at his fat member disappearing inside you with only a tiny moan slipping free from your lips.

You took him obediently as you’d done for a while – without protest. The only difference occurred after he’d twisted the two of you around so you could straddle and ride him. You’d pressed your naked breasts into his chest and taken his face in your hands – gently as you rolled your hips without guidance – and then, right before the kiss, you’d said, so very softly, “I missed you today… it’s boring here without you~” 

Your voice was sultry, kissing him tender yet deeply – pouring sweet moans into his mouth while your hands tangled in his hair. 

You’d traveled to his neck after, and he came as soon as your tongue licked the scars found there – digging his fingers into the plush of your hips, keeping you seated as he spluttered all his worth inside you.

He’d been in such a state of post-shock that he’d rushed out just after. Leaving you.

Kurogiri had pointed out his blush while he sat at the bar, mulling it over with a bottle of brown in his grip. He shuddered, recurring the feeling – your pillowy wet lips on his, those words leaving your tongue, your hands playing with his hair, pulling him close. His chest felt tight, just as tight as the furrow between his brows.

Dabi sat down a couple of stools away sometime later in the night. Often, Shigaraki would abstain from engaging in conversation with the guy, but really, at least in this case, he was the best choice of any to ask for input. After all, they weren’t all that different. Actually, when it came to basics, they were both pretty similar – same-aged, ugly, and ridden with family issues from scars to fractured memories.

Dabi gave him a dumb look, his brow raised as though to ask what he was staring at after noticing his side-eye.

“You still have the same girl?” He jumped straight to it.

Dabi’s dumb expression turned dumber. Confused, maybe not so much by the question itself but by why the boss was even talking to him. But most emotions are like matches for Dabi, and they burn out before they’re able to light any fires. Soon, the usual sense of disinterest washed over him, and his face eased up into that chronic jaded look. 

Shigaraki nearly lost patience, reminded once again why he couldn’t stand the guy – rude as ever and so slow it made his skin itch. But then he gave his answer, “Yeah, I still have her.”

“She difficult?” Shigaraki followed up.

And Dabi took his time once again, hauling out the seconds before offering his answer in a drawl. “No, Stockholm Syndrome kicked in quickly.”

Shigaraki let it settle - Stockholm Syndrome – before looking back at his drink and repeating the thought once again. Stockholm Syndrome.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” He mumbled then.

Dabi sighed, taking a swig of his beer. It was already the third one, but he’d only been sitting there for about half an hour. “Not really…” He disagreed. “Most girls are better survivors.”

It was Shigaraki’s turn to look dumb, looking puzzled as he stared down the barrel to his bottle – in wait of an explanation – almost as though he was under the impression it was the drink who was speaking and not the patch-faced raven-head sitting beside him.

“They learn quickly to accept what will keep them safe, and then, they find solace in whatever they can to maintain their mental health as well…” Said raven-haired guy continued – then he scoffed. “Boys fight until they break. Leaving them a shell of what they once were. But girls don’t have the same pride.”

He swirled his bottle, stove-top blue eyes lazy, looking at the last of his drink storm with waves inside the green glass.

“They leave themselves behind and become someone new.” He offered a dry chuckle, and Shigaraki spotted the unsightly way his staples only barely held the split of his smile together. “It’s actually kind of scary.” He finished before downing the last gulp, setting the bottle down with a bang.

He swung off his stool, shoving his hands down his pockets, and walked away – his back turned.

“If I were you, I’d embrace it, boss. Despite what we try to believe, that shit feels best when it’s given willingly.”

Shigaraki sat there a moment longer. Long enough to get cut off by Kurogiri, who told him drinking anymore would be a bad idea.

When he got back to the room, you were sleeping again.

He stood and stared at you for a moment. 

Was this a game you were playing? Was it a joke?

You’d pulled on one of his hoodies. And upon a closer look, you hadn’t showered either… 

Strange of you to leave his cum inside you... 

But thinking back about it, you hadn’t been so distant with him for a while already. You’d been trivial – conversational – even chirpy, if he could call it that.

Was it like Dabi said? Had you reached your breaking point for loneliness, leaving him to be your only resource? Or had you accepted the circumstances and willed yourself to play along? 

He didn’t know, but the doubt stormed an upset in his mind as he lifted the covers and laid down next to you. But despite the exhaustion, the lure of sleep still wasn’t enough to make him close his eyes – he was stuck staring at you, mapping out all those qualities that make up your pretty face.

So deep in his studies, he nearly flinched when your eyes fluttered open.

A small smile graced your lips soon after. “You’re back…” You murmured, eyes softly blinking at him before you scooched closer – shimmying yourself over to him until you were all the way up against his chest, nuzzling your head against his collar with sleepy sounds of comfort. Resting there for a blissful moment before purring out a sweet “Good night~”

But he couldn’t sleep that night. Too busy listening to your soft snores – feeling the clingy way you clutched his cotton T-shirt.

He couldn’t bring himself to touch you either. For a long while – it was as though he was… scared almost. Freaked out by your doting – that way you’d hug him when he entered through the door – placing kisses on places he wasn’t used to – his cheek, his forehead, his neck, his knuckles. 

Grabbing his sleeve. “Don’t go, Tomura…” You said once when he had his hand on the doorknob and the key halfway twisted in the lock. “Please… don’t leave.”

His throat went tight. It had been like that for a while – ever since that first kiss, actually, he’d been unable to talk to you – unsure what to say.

But you hadn’t the same issue.

“You haven't touched me in a while…” You continued, taking his hand away from the doorknob in both yours, playing with his fingers – bringing it up to your face – you cuddled it like he’d not threatened you with his touch many many many times before. “Are you bored with me?” You asked instead of the obvious, keeping him at a loss for words. “Or… have I scared you away?”

You? Scared him?

Your lips brushed his fingers as one of your hands made a slow descent – making him jerk with a gasp as it went straight to cup his groin – tender yet firm, giving it a squeeze.

“Is there anything I can do to make you stay?” You said coyly, eyes doe-like but kittenish all the same, with a pouty and small smirk playing on your lips before you bit into them – brows cinching, giving him a flirty pleading expression. “Please, Tomura?” You said his name as though it didn’t belong to him. “It gets so lonely here…” You kissed his palm. “Won’t you give me a proper goodbye, at least?”

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