#who up thinking about they jon daisy dynamic

[casual-socks]

not friends or dating but a secret third thing (anchoring each other to humanity because you are the only one who can understand each others monstrosity)

#who up thinking about they jon daisy dynamic #daisy tonner #tma #the magnus archives #jon sims #jonathan sims #posting this past midnight heres hoping it makes sense tomorrow morning

[toasterslime]

I have so many thoughts about Jon and Daisy’s s4 relationship. I know the fandom is very “look guys they’re besties” or “Jon deserves better Daisy is horrid” and like honestly,,, I don’t think either of those things are accurate. I’m not trying to say them being friends is healthy or even plausible it’s just a really fucking interesting dynamic to look at.

You take a man who’s turning into a monster who NOBODY believes can be redeemed (like… outwardly. He doesn’t know Martin even still cares about him) and the literal embodiment of an irredeemable monster whose hunger for the hunt made up everything she was… and you put them together. Jon saved her life. Jon saved her life after she tried to kill him, after he could know things about her that would probably make most people want to vomit. Why? Because if there’s hope for her, maybe there’s hope for him. And he doesn’t see his life as worth anything any more. When he went into that coffin he didn’t know if he was going to come back out. And Daisy knows this. On some level, Daisy doesn’t believe she deserves this second chance either. That’s why she doesn’t give into the hunger like Jon does. Because she literally believes she deserves to starve. But she thinks Jon *can* be redeemed. She recognizes that she was wrong to treat him like a monster. The person who wanted so badly to kill him recognizes this. And tries in her own way to support him and cheer him up. I think about that sometimes and foam at the mouth.

#the magnus archives #tma #tma podcast #jonathan sims #the archivist #tma spoilers #tma season four #daisy tonner

[twistedsterritorialtakeover]

Fairchild Preparatory School for Young Avatars my beloved

I like thinking about avatar mentors and what would happen if different avatars were alive together at the same time

The guys from the buried are just chilling and doing their own thing probably, along with the two people who could be considered extinction avatars according to the wiki. Oliver Banks and Anabelle Cane are also just chilling.

You got John Amherst with his corruption daughter that he loves very much found family and worms. The Desolation and the Dark have family drama going on with Agnes and Callum respectively. Turns out you can still be rebellious and you can feed your fear god.

The stuff going on with the eye is funny because Elias is trying so desperately to train Jon and be a good mentor but considering everyone is alive? Gertrude would not be having that. She may not be a powerful avatar but she still has powers. Peter and Martin have a similar dynamic but it’s more so “do you wanna become an avatar of the lonely Martin” “no thanks” “that’s fine I’ll ask tomorrow”.

Angela is like a nagging grandmother to Jared, Julia and Trevor would rather not be there but they have to go anyways, and they still have to interact with Daisy who brought Basira along against the rules of the academy. Michael and Helen are playing cards, they got Alfred Grifter as special guest school DJ because the Piper wasn’t available. There are so many stranger students they had to limit them because they couldn’t keep up with remembering who was what.

And of course Simon and Mike are there.

#tma #the Magnus archives #oh boy here we go #TMA the buried #TMA the corruption #TMA the dark #TMA the desolation #TMA the end #TMA the extinction #TMA the eye #TMA the flesh #TMA the hunt #TMA the lonely #TMA the slaughter #TMA the spiral #TMA the stranger #TMA the vast #TMA the web

[lo-fi-charming]

Jondaisy Fic Req List

So today for @jondaisy-week, I wanted to finally sit down and make a proper recommendations list of some of my favorite jondaisy fics!

This list will include fics that fall under a wide variety of ratings; I'm leaving it up to you guys to take note of warnings and tags if something here catches your interest, since all necessary info will be on the fics on ao3. If you see anything you like, please consider commenting if you give it a read! A lot of these don't have nearly as many comments as they deserve <3

Swans Down by KingOuija

Daisy feeds Jon an entire cake. This one feels special, in how it is a moment both mundane and odd, quiet yet charged; intimate not only due to the physicality of the actions, their bodies, but also the trauma these two now share. I feel like it's impossible to pitch without underselling this one!

Tell Me To Tell You by BeneathSilverStars

Jon and Daisy explore being able to say 'no/stop' and have someone listen to them. I love this one for how it explores boundaries and trust, both with and without the aid of kink... There's just something so distinctly jondaisy about it, considering their history.

Going Soft by Prim_the_Amazing

An A/O/B setup herein Daisy's traumatic experience in the Buried causes her to shift from an alpha to an omega. This one is REALLY soft and sweet and features one of my favorite scenes from any tma fic!!

live wire by bluejayblueskies

Jon is a researcher who stumbles upon the temple of an old hunting god. Really love how Daisy is portrayed here, it's a very fun take on a jondaisy chase with interesting consequences~

Stay here under my tail by RavenXavier

Worried that Basira might be interested in more drastic measures to prevent Jon from taking live statements, Daisy offers an alternative. I love this one because I think it offers a slightly darker (yet somehow, sweet?) trajectory for Jon and Daisy's post-coffin relationship. They're till trying to be good, but maybe not doing the best job. I especially love how, in most cases, Jon is portrayed as a major element in Daisy's ability to 'behave herself', while in this one Daisy takes it upon herself to be that role for Jon. Delicious...

Blood and Quiet by PitViperOfDoom

Another take on god-of-the-hunt Daisy, though this time we also get god-of-the-hunted Jon. This one's got a bit more plot involved; it's a fun setting and explores Jon and Daisy's dynamic really nicely! And I'm a sucker for anything that's got a bit of Watership Down in its DNA.

if you're lonely- by blackwood (transjon)

A 'high school' AU where Jon and Daisy meet as kids and become friends. A big theme in this one is how both of them dealing with Gender Feelings, which holds huge appeal for me~

Heartbeating by chshrkitten

This one is short but it captures the sort of intimacy I really love with these two, something quiet and secret that happens in the dark... I love anything exploring the tightrope walk of Daisy trying to be normal about being close to Jon and wanting him in ways that might not be very appropriate, but she's trying to be better...

THERE ARE PLENTY MORE, but I need to make myself keep this list a bit short or I'll be here all day. Maybe at some point, whenever I finally do a thorough re-read of all my bookmarks, I'll come back with more! Who knows, by then there might be brand new jaisy fic I'll be dying to share~

#jondaisy #jaisy week #fic recs list

[esperosisdoeswriting]

hello, question! I really like your fic and I was wondering, could you maybe say which ones inspired it/just what fics you liked in general? It would be neat as hell to be able to read more fics with a similar flavour >:)

Interestingly enough, "Right By Them" actually had the opposite inspiration as to what you're thinking, where it wasn't inspired by what I found but what I didn't find. Basically, I've read a fuck ton of time travel fics but 90% of the time I found myself disappointed or losing interest as things didn't go even remotely how I thought they would, or I didn't like how they wrote Elias or how they kinda shuffled him out of the way for the sake of fluff or something. Don't get me wrong, there are a few I like that I can (and shall) recommend, however, my main inspiration for this fic summed up to "No no, that's not right. Here, this is what I think would actually happen!" and then I sat down, thought about it, and plotted the whole thing out.

Basically, I'm just writing the time travel fic I wish I was able to find to read lololol.

Now, I do have some inspiration, but it's mostly for tonal stuff as opposed to actual plot points and themes.

I really like "The Timeline of Thesus", it's absolutely hilarious and it holds a special place in my heart for Kid!Jon and Elias are dynamic. I aspire for my comedy writing in "Right By Them" to be as funny as some of the stuff that happens in "Timeline of Thesus"

On the flip side, I also absolutely adore "Nature Has Taught her Creatures to Hate", which isn't so much a time travel AU as an alternate-history AU where things happen a bit differently. The descriptions of emotion and tension are *chef's kiss* and I aspire for my writing for my tenser scenes and introspective scenes to be as good as this. 100% would recommend it, but it is a bit dark.

Another is "Don't Listen to a word I say (The screams all sound the same)" is deffo my inspiration for how I shall eventually write Jon and Daisy's dynamic come their S4 interactions. (I'm trying to keep things a bit vague as to events of the actual podcast/series, as I know some people who haven't finished the series follow this blog). But overall I really love this dynamic with them.

My last recommendation for a time travel fic has to be "Once More". Written fanstaically, felt like I was reading a movie. Though I must warn you if you read this one, out of everything I've written for "Right By Them" I have never once felt the urge to shed a single tear, regardless of all the sad stuff happening... Chapters 12 and 13 of this fic had me ugly crying the entire time. You have been warned.

Those are my recommendations for now! I have a ton more fics I liked but I restricted my recommendations to time travel related or character dynamic related. If you're interested in more however feel free to ask.

#not a prompt #ask response #right by them #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #magnus archives #mag #tma #tma fanfic #fan fic reccomendations

[ryutarotakedown]

magnus archives! for the ask game

[ask game link] YAYYYYYYYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK this got horrifically long so under the cut!

Favorite character: i’d love to say basira but it’s probably melanie. or martin. oh little moth…

Least Favorite character: uhhhh i love all the characters as *characters* but i love to hate elias of course. what a fucking creep they did such a wonderful job with him. 106 and 117 live in my brain constantly & forever

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): FIVE? THERE AREN’T ENOUGH IN HERE FOR FIVE but it’d be what the girlfriends, jonmartin, daisira, basira/melanie, and. hm. hmmm. gertrudeagnes

— oh crap wait i keep forgetting platonic relationships are ships too, okay okay add jon & basira and jon & melanie and jon & georgie in there. not in any particular order but still

Character I find most attractive: im not even attracted to women but. daisy. i didn’t understand the fan reaction until i listened to her voice for the first time (i consumed this podcast almost entirely through transcripts) and went Oh I Get It Now

Character I would marry: georgie easily

Character I would be best friends with: jon or melanie because i love befriending haters you are all so fun

A random thought: i miss them so much. i kept expecting the transcripts to switch to “archive” for jon at some point but they never did which is probably for the best for accessibility reasons but can you imagine. i miss them so much. basira is funnier than people give her credit for. georgie is less funny than people give her credit for and i appreciate her so much for it (don’t be a Stranger!). i miss them so much

An unpopular opinion: hey did you know basira hussain is in the third most episodes total and actually has the second most scenes with jon (she had The Most, period, before martin dethroned her in s5)? did you know? anyway she should be in more stuff and i love her deeply. i also don’t think she actually had double standards for jon versus daisy per se, i think her problem was thinking that guilty people deserve punishment and therefore that daisy’s victims (criminals) were fine while jon’s victims (random people off the street) were not

— this is also why she stops daisy from killing jon in 091, because she’d met him before, he was a human being who cracked jokes, he *couldn’t* be guilty; rather than because killing people is bad

— i also think she knew deep down she was wrong for this considering how she says in the unknowing: i don’t want to hurt you. i don’t want to hurt anyone. and then in s5: of course i care! …that’s the problem

— she had to force down her compassion in order to function well as a police officer and forced herself to believe that it was the right thing to arrest people who did bad things

— reader she was incorrect

— have i mentioned i love her

My canon OTP: jonmartin and what the girlfriends

Non-canon OTP: you cannot tell me basira and melanie didn’t have something going on while jon was in his coma you simply can’t

— melanie was strong and violent and necessary and basira needed someone strong to rely on after daisy even though she could see how miserable melanie was. basira stuffed down all her emotions and became a stone figure and melanie feeling herself being overtaken by rage both aspired to that and hated her for it. they are anchors for each other but false because their usual anchors (daisy, georgie) aren’t here or wouldn’t get it. do you understand.

Most badass character: the admiral

Pairing I am not a fan of: sorry to jon.elias fans i do understand that exploring the Power Dynamics could be fun but i genuinely cannot see any romance in there whatsoever. can’t jon just hate a man in peace

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): hmmmmmmm. not anyone in particular? i think basira’s s5 arc was kind of rushed but i’m not super mad about it. also obviously the racist stereotypes in there (the haans. i mean the haans) but in terms of main cast i can’t think of anyone

Favourite friendship: tim & sasha because i haven’t mentioned them anywhere in this ask and that is a travesty. they’re fun i hope they are kayaking happily together somewhere

#THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU I HAVENT TALKED ABOUT THEM ON HERE IN FOREVER #p: the magnus archives #mail #thehallowoods #jules.txt #caps

[oaxleaf]

I feel disappointed that among all the meta analyzes about Basira and Daisy's relationship, few mention MAG112, which is precisely the only episode that gives us a more accurate look at how they operate when there is no one else. And it's uncomfortable and awkward and hardly how normal friends behave. There are many awkward pauses and subjects deliberately forgotten and left open by the both of them. At no point does Daisy try to get around the supernatural that weighs on both of their heads, on the contrary, it seems to be literally the only topic in common between them, she interrupts any initiative Basira has of trying to talk about her mental health and the worst thing is that Basira carelessly obey. And that's why I can hardly interpret their relationship as romantic in nature, because they technically aren't even friends and their intimacy seems to be sustained solely by the fact that they both work for The Fears. Basira values the protection and clarity that Daisy extends to her in a world where she is the weakest and Daisy wants Basira's humanity close by. That's what their relationship is about.

i mean, yeah. nail on the head. daisy and basira are not friends. intensely codependent and fiercly loyal to each other? yup. friends? no, because to be friends you actually gotta talk about things. talk about yourselves. and it's established, from very early on, the basira hardly knows anything about daisy, and we can assume vice versa. they've just had to rely on this dynamic for so long. not only does daisy provide protection in terms of confronting physical dangers, but she also protects basira from her own guilt. basira never has to question the things she does as long as she can feel that daisy supports them, as long as the things daisy do are worse. similarly, daisy gains the unconditional trust and support of someone to further fuel her hunt. i mean, this is how police brutality and other such abuses on the hands of institutions fester - the people there don't say anything, because their personal bonds and shared experiences are valued higher than morality, at the same time as the people involved can justify that they're not part of the problem, they're just doing their job. simultaneously not wanting to tell on who they consider to be part of the same team, and the bystander effect

that's why their dynamic doesn't work if you alter the context. they both need the we'll support each other through thick and thin mindest whilst also having the comfort of it only being a proffesional, impersonal relationship. you literally cannot have an impersonal realtionship at the magnus institute, they all end up entangled, and it gets even worse in s4, when daisy explicitly does not want to do this anymore. she starts confronting herself and the kind of person she is, and that's why she turns to jon, who she knows not only feels very similarly to how she does but whom she also knows will not look upon her uncritically or be made uncomfortable by confronting her immorality

i'm not opposed to the notion of a romantic relationship between daisy and basira. ship and let ship, i say. but i do think that the more impersonal their relationship, the more toxic codependecy they desplay at the same time as they don't even know each other as people, the more interesting they are

#the magnus archives #tma #basira hussain #daisy tonner #tma meta

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 96 - mowing the lawn

Without thinking about a-mag-a-day this morning, I took my Breekon & Hope shirt and put it on! :D

Ah yes, the soundscaping of sitting in an empty depot!

"Statement of Alfred Breekon" / "eventually I cracked; held out my hand: 'Arthur Breekon at your service. Who might you be?'" - Wait what? So is it Alfred or Arthur now? Did I miss something?

Oh this is so cool, at the part of "they started to make deliveries" you can hear the engine of a motorcycle accelerating in the background!

"I think I might even be paying them, though it’s hard to tell." - Lol.

Bit of a short statement, but really cool. I like the eeriness of the moment when they first appeared and the anticipated dread in "they started to make deliveries" and what followed after that.

What was that box…? Sounds of shifting sand, seems to be heavy but can be picked up with ease, it has a gravity to it? Sounds a bit like it could be the Buried. But bite marks working themselves free from the inside out? Hunt? Corruption?

"and today it was topped with a crisp brown envelope addressed to me, containing this statement. A gift from Elias, no doubt. He could have sent this to me any time, filled me in on Breekon and Hope, but no. I had to find it myself, just in time for him to show me he knew all about it. Cocky prick." - God I hate people like these xD I had a few teachers who were always like "that's not how it's done. That's also not how it's done" but failed to ever instruct me how to do it. I had to figure it out myself.

SARAH "It’s Elias now, then? JON [Whispering] "What?" - <.<

JON "Are you the same Sarah Baldwin that disappeared in Edinburgh in August 2006?" SARAH "Some of her. Skin. A few memories. Not on the inside." - And there's the explanation why Daniel Rawlings in the taxidermist shop doesn't look like the Daniel Rawlings from Edinburgh. -JON "Did you go as part of a filming expedition to the Cambridge Military Hospital?" SARAH "A mistake. Thought I’d have fun with some over-curious idiots, but it turned out I had trespassed. I paid for it." - Even though she says it loud and clear, when I was first listening I still didn't understand what happened at the CMH. Later, with more knowledge of the Fears, their dynamics etc, it becomes more apparent.

JON "So, what, now you sell dead animals? What is this place?" SARAH "The Trophy Room. A taxidermist shop in Barnet. It says above the door. Surprised to meet an Archivist who can’t read." JON "No, I –" [DAISY LAUGHS] DAISY "Nice." - Hahaha, the first a bit more lighthearted moment with Jon and Daisy! Also clever way to counter the Archivist's compulsion. Give obvious answers to vague questions.

Sasha is and will always be a weak spot of Jon. The first one he lost.

SARAH "The old woman, the one before you. She stole it. She killed Daniel, and took it." - Okay wait, I thought Not!Sasha met up with Daniel Rawlings and took a photo of him? What that already a different Daniel Rawlings?

DAISY "Come on. Before the Met get here." JON "Whatever you say." - Aw, that sing-song in Jon's voice. Is this already meant to show that these two could have a great dynamic if Daisy wasn't blinded by the Hunt?

Sarah knowing about Elias is game recognizing game

Also yeah, I think not sasha probably took a photo with someone else

#a mag a day #tma #the magnus archives #episode asks #mod ashes #tma spoilers #Mag 96 #lycanlovingvampyre

[readingoals]

Mid Year Book Freakout (2023)

I wasn't tagged to do it but I did this last year so thot I might as well do it again this year lmao.

It's a little bit of a cop out maybe, but I think the best book I've read this year is Pride and Prejudice. It's about the hundredth time I've read it and it was my top book from last year, so it feels like cheating to say it. But it's also an edition that Lauren annotated for me so reading it was an entirely new experience too because of all her notes!

This one's easy because it's the only sequel I've read this year, and that is A Clash Of Kings by George R.R. Martin! I really love the ASOIAF series and I'm so enjoying this re-read.

This is tough because I've re-read a few books this year but I think I have to say Sylvester by Georgette Heyer. It's been years since I first read it but I'm so glad I revisited it. I had the best time reading it again and annotating it.

Just like last year, mystery is my most read genre so far. I've been continuing to make my way through all of Agatha Christie's books - one per month - as well as some extra mysteries on the side, so it's really not a surprise.

Aside from mystery, my next most read genres are historical and, much more surprisingly, romance, with three books each.

Oh, so many. But the ones at the top of my list are The Villa by Rachel Hawkins, The Cloisters by Katy Hays, Our Hideous Progeny by C.E. McGill, and The Adventure Zone: Eleventh Hour graphic novel by The McElroys.

For the first time in a long time I actually do know about and am looking forward to a couple of releases. I have Hopeless Aromantic: An Affirmative Guide to Aromanticism by Samantha Rendle on pre-order. It'll be released at the end of this month. And then I think Everyone On This Train Is A Suspect by Benjamin Stevenson is due to be released later this year too.

The Maidens by Alex Michaelides was a huge disappointment. I'd heard so many good things but I just hated it so much.

I think the biggest surprise so far has been Sparkling Cyanide by Agatha Christie. Mostly because it started off a little slow and I thought it'd be one of her more ~okay~ mysteries, but it ended up being quite exciting and interesting and fun.

Either that or Victoria Frankenstein's Monster Cock by Broken Arrow because reading Frankenstein inspired erotica was not on my personal 2023 bingo card and it ended up being actually not bad.

I think I have to say my fave new (to me) author is Tirzah Price who wrote Pride and Premeditation (and the other Jane Austen Murder Mystery books). Partly because Pride and Premed was such a fun read and really well done. But also partly just because process of elimination leaves her as the only real option.

I've only read from 6 authors I'd previously not read from so far, and of those I hated 1, I disliked 2, and enjoyed 2 but not enough.

I think I have to go with Sylvester, Phoebe and Tom from Sylvester by Georgette Heyer. I just really loved their dynamic and they were so frickin fun to read about.

Runners up would be Jon and Rick from Bachelor Kisses by Nick Earls purely because they were such dumbass dickheads.

At first I was going to say nothing I'd read so far this year had made me cry but then I remembered that I re-read Daisy Jones and the Six. Even though I knew what was coming the ending still got me.

Bachelor Kisses by Nick Earls. It's set close to where I live, I find the characters and story so funny, and I love Earls' writing style. Re-reading it was an absolute joy.

But also Ace and Aro Journeys just cause it was nice to read something that related so directly to me.

There's a couple of books that stand out I think. Number 1 has to be the illustrated edition of A Clash Of Kings. I already owned AGOT and I'm excited to eventually have the whole series in a matching set.

I guess The Villa would also be up there - I love the colours, how bright it is. And then also the hardcover Penguin Classics edition of Frankenstein which was one I'd wanted for ages.

There are only a couple that I absolutely have to read. The copy of Frankenstein that Lauren annotated for me is top of the list. And then also Pride and Prometheus by John Kessel - I said I was going to read it all the way back in March and then didn't, so I'd love to actually pick it up.

I also want to prioritize reading my backlog books. I'm trying to read 5 of them this year and so far I've only read one (although I'm also currently reading one now), so I definitely want to pick up a few more in the second half of the year.

#booklr #brigid speaks #mid year book tag #mid year book freak out tag #read in 2023 #also i had way too much fun making those headers in canva lmao

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

The latest chapter fully has made me lose my brain. You were right the Job and Daisy buddy cop jamboree IS the best. And that conversation between Tim and Jon?? Man. So much going on and so much going on just beneath the surface. Love the way Tim guilty thinks back to what Elias said about everyone using Jon, and love the way that is kinda what he's doing. Also love the way he *knows* something awful has happened but he doesn't want to dig into it because he doesn't want to risk pulling someone aboard Danny and his already sinking lifeboat. He can't afford to care. SO fascinating.

Also unrelated but were there a way to anonymously send you fanart (to prevent the off chance of someone I know irl finding my blog lol) you would be swimming in fanart. Because hoo-boy. Anyways love the chapter!!

Ahh thank you for your kind words!

Legitimately i cannot put into words how much fun i find the daisy and jon buddy cop jamboree. they're both so insane and chaotic. I have so many Shenanigans in my head that the two of them have committed over the years of their partnership that will probably never make it into nhthcth on account of it not being relevant to the plot. they're just such a fun dynamic. jon won't stop buying daisy stuff for her home renovations on elias's personal credit card. she's like 10-15 years older than him and they do everything together. sometimes that's killing the eldritch manifestation of violence and sometimes that's bottomless mimosa brunch billed directly to peter lukas. daisy went from violently fucking hating this guy to spending almost every single day with him and going on multiple vacations with him and no one understands why. they're so funny to me. I want them to have a wwdits style tv crew following them around at all times.

See i LOVE tim as a character because he's a genuinely good guy but he's also not without his own limitations and he has been shown to have like, an ability to recognize and accept when he can't change something.

Tim's instinct is to help. Like, he went back for Jon and Martin and literally carried Jon through the Jane Prentiss attack. At the Unknowing, when they were planting explosives, he was trying to convince everyone to let him try to save the victims of the ritual that were still alive. He's really, genuinely good, and he wouldn't have been like those people in the Institute who turned a blind eye to Jon growing up because he was worried about his job.

But he also has limits. Like, season 3, his anger overrode basically everything else, and when Sasha disappeared after the Season 2 finale, he wasn't trying to find her. Martin was sitting there begging Daisy to bring her home safe, and Tim, who was shown to be closer with her than anyone, had already given into a grim acceptance that she was dead and there was nothing to be done.

It was the same thing with Helen--when Martin and Tim were wandering Michael's corridors, they saw Helen trapped inside. Martin kept insisting that they should have helped her, and Tim completely shut it down, because he had this very bitter understanding that they couldn't help her, so stop thinking about it and stop talking about it. He didn't fight it; he accepted it; he did not try because of it.

Tim's a good person, but he's distinct from some others in the cast by the fact that 1) he will look at the practical realities they're living in and (bitterly) accept them, and 2) he's got some things that will override and take priority when he makes decisions.

Danny is and always will be the number one override for him. Like, we get so little on them in canon, but what happened to Danny seems to haunt Tim right to the end. Tim upended his entire life trying to find the thing that killed his brother. When we get the Statement on what happened, we find out that Tim is still searching all these years later, even if he did get a bit comfortable and complacent over time. Like, he can cite offhand the last statement given regarding a circus. He's still pulling all the books on Circuses. He never let go of what happened to his brother, even though he accepted (for lack of a better term) what happened to Sasha before he knew what happened to her and before she was declared dead. Danny had been gone for years by the finale, but Tim went to his death so he could kill the thing that took him away.

So Tim in nhthcth is in this huge phase of major internal conflict right now, because every single one of his major pillars of decision-making are in conflict.

Danny's his ultimate override. He's the thing that makes Tim not give a shit about anything else--everything has to fall away to Danny making through this alive. Unlike Tim in canon, he actually has a chance to save Danny. Canon Tim was willing to die over his brother's fate--a Tim that has a chance to save his brother will go so much farther.

But he's still someone who is able to clock when something's completely and utterly fucked. And Tim is the best situated out of everyone in the cast save Jon to understand how dire these circumstances actually are.

Danny's in little brother baby jail. He's spending all day trying to wriggle information out of Mike because Tim's pitching a bitch fit every time he tries to leave the apartment, and Jon doesn't even want Tim there, let alone Danny. He's playing Uno with Mike and trying to subtly slide in "hahah hey for the sake of conversation do you happen know of any like. evil contract breaking powers." He's trapped in that John Mulaney bit of eating triscuits and asking someone if they had ever seen a ghost. Thoughts and prayers for Danny.

Martin and Sasha's priorities are different from Tim, and the information they're looking at is different. Sasha, especially--she's chasing the contract, not the circus, and she's in such a state of paranoia that she's trying to rely on information that comes from her, not anyone else. She's not been exploring the Statements or been learning about the supernatural world the way he has.

For the most part, this happened off camera, so to speak, but it's been discussed multiple times that Tim's been tearing through everything that he thinks can help him understand what's going on and how to stop the thing after his brother. He's going through the library, he's reading all the Statements he can. He's been trying to get practical experience via tagging along with Jon, which keeps getting stymied, so he goes back to the library and the Statements.

Which means he goes to the Archives every day and struggles against the dawning realization that what they're trying to do just does not happen. He reads the Statements, and people either die, or they are let go, or they become the monster themselves. Options one, two, and three. And the vast majority are people who die horrible fucking deaths--or, worse, don't get the mercy of death. He has been spending every day desperately trying to find a Statement of normal schmucks like him and his brother beating something determined to finish their meal and going back to their normal lives, and they just aren't there.

Tim in Season 2 and 3 most consistently displayed an understanding that the supernatural was not something they could beat. People just get eaten by monsters, and that's their lives now. Nhthcth Tim has been getting that same horrible, dawning certainty of "This is a fight I have no chances of winning" with the immediate follow up of "But it's Danny. I have to."

Which makes him painfully conscious of the fact that he cannot afford to be a good person right now.

Because the thing is? Danny should have died in the theatre, as far as he's aware, and Tim knows it. He should have never even made it home that night. You don't get out on your own--these things let you go. Even if he somehow made it out on his own, Breekon & Hope should have been able to drag him back easily. He should already be dead. Tim knows it with a devastating certainty.

And he also knows that the only reason why he isn't is because Jon has been paying the cost of keeping him alive.

Danny getting out of that theatre cost him his skin. Mike protecting him? Cost Jon a food source, and apparently is going to probably get him tossed off a building down the line. Getting Elias as a backstop ended with Jon having to start taking live statements again and letting assistants down. Hell, Jon has to fucking escort him to and from Mike's every single day, because Tim may just get picked up by Breekon & Hope if he doesn't.

Tim's painfully aware that Jon’s well-being and Danny’s have a negative correlation right now. He is so uncomfortably aware that he's borderline sacrificing Jon's wellbeing for his brother's, and he's accepted that basically using Jon is the only way he has of getting Danny through this alive. It goes against his nature, he's a good person who doesn't want to hurt someone else for his own benefit, but he'll keep doing it for Danny.

And he knows that's going to be a lot harder to do if he gets to know Jon.

Out of all of the assistants, Tim actually has some of the greatest suspicions of how deeply wrong things are. Like, Martin saw how bad Jon got as a kid, but Tim’s been exclusively privy to Elias’s manipulative bullshit in a way the other two haven’t. He never got fed the lie of Jon being Elias's spoiled and beloved ward. His first introduction to this mess was Jon saving their asses several times over, and it has been nonstop red flags since then. One of the first thing that Jon tells him is that he hates being called Jonathan, and it's all Elias calls him. Jon turned into a nervous, frantic mess at the idea of assistants, and Elias has been trying to force it for years. He was sarcastic in the face of clown death, but actively scared at the possibility of Elias coming down. Jon cannot be reminded that man exists without launching into insults so creative that Tim almost feels like he should write them down for reference.

Tim spends more time with Jon than anyone out of the cast. He’s walking to and from work with him every day, spending time with him at mikes and at the archives, and the way Jon behaves fucking terrifies him. Both in a “your life is a spooky nightmare” kind of way and in a “you act like the aftermath of a tragedy” kind of way. He knows somethings deeply fucking wrong with Jon.

And he’s also genuinely honest about liking Jon. He doesn't like him the way Danny does, per se. Jon simply enchants Danny. Danny wants this man in his life forever. He wants to be roommates with him. He wants to go on a roadtrip with him. He is the world's most interesting man to Danny and Danny has never wanted to be best friends with someone so badly in his life. He's hilarious, a good person, and every single thing that comes out of his mouth is the absolute fucking wildest thing he has ever heard in his life. They fucking booked it from a monster clown together through a nightmare eldritch theatre together, which is the start of an epic friendship if Danny has ever heard one.

Jon’s a big “if only” to tim. Jon’s funny and kind and they get on great. Tim thinks that if they had met and Jon had just been Danny’s friend that he dragged home with him, he’d love being this guys pseudo older brother or something. But he’s clocked the situation, he’s figured out that Jon’s world is not something you can stay just out of the sightline of. It’s cut all ties or be eaten. So Tim’s already read the writing on the wall, made the mental calculation, and realized at the end of this, if they get out, he’s going to have to look the guy who saved their asses at his own expense in the eye and tell him they’re abandoning him forever. Thanks for the rescue that was costly to you in unspeakable ways, please never contact us ever again.

Tim needs Danny out, alive, and everything he’s seen and read has led him to a not unreasonable understanding that that’s going to require using and abandoning Jon as an absolute best case scenario. That’s weighs unbearably heavy on his conscious when Jon’s someone he likes and is actively worried about. If he knew the truth? It would be impossible.

[irrealisms]

-- TAGS LIST --

(not including tags that are straightforward, e.g. #parasocialing which is for parasocialing, #tma which is for the magnus archives, #cat tag which is for cats, etc)

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[peterjakes]

Theon x Sansa - 'we unraveled a long time ago'

The Long Night is over. Sansa Stark is Lady of Winterfell. But she eagerly awaits news of Theon Greyjoy. Theon, who volunteered to protect Bran at the Godswood. Theon, who was moments away from death when he was saved. Theon, who could wake up at any moment.  

I actually enjoyed writing this one and it became longer than I thought but I think it works?

I wanted to explore what would have happened had theon lived after ep3 and explore the dynamic between theon and sansa.

Somehow this became very Sansa pov-centric, but I’m not entirely mad at that. I think it would be interesting to explore both Sansa and Theon povs, but we’ll see how it goes!

the title is taken from daisy jones and the six bc I'm currently obsessed.

realised the timeline is kinda off but lets just blame d&d for that. I can't remember too much from s8 and haven't rewatched it since it aired - currently on s7 for my rewatch so we can just ignore that :) 

Thank you for reading x

also posted on ao3; https://archiveofourown.org/works/45844339/chapters/115377547

Sansa was sitting by herself in the Great Hall. It seemed so empty now, when only a few weeks ago it was filled with such celebration. The Wildings were gone, the warriors, the soldiers. Jon and Arya, they were gone too. Now, it was just Sansa, at least for now. She needed this time for some peace, she needed time to think. She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted to think about, or even needed to, but there was a sense that this was what she needed to do.  

The Long Night was over, some form of normality had started to grow in Winterfell again. The dead had been mourned; the bodies buried, and Winter had settled.  

No matter who came to give council to the Lady of Winterfell, there was only one person she wanted to see. She had visited his room twice since the battle ended, but he lay as still as he would if he was dead. But he was not dead. Theon Greyjoy was alive. He had been saved. Somehow, after everything that had happened, he had made it. Sansa hadn’t seen the scars or destruction the Night King had brought onto Theon, but she knew Maester Wolkan had worked hard to make sure he stayed alive. Sansa only knew of how his body lay by the Godswood in the snow. How for a moment, he was almost taken along with the rest of the dead. How his own blood surrounded and engulfed him. But he had lived. Sansa hadn’t had to bury and mourn the one person she couldn’t bear to.  

The first time Sansa had visited his chambers, Maester Wolkan had suggested against it. Though he had cleaned him up, it was unlikely Theon would wake up any time soon. It was true that Theon seemed as if he was sleeping, a peaceful dream that he would soon wake up from. That, much to Sansa’s dismay, did not happen. The scars on his face were far less bloody than Sansa expected, though she imagined the damage was worse further down below. The Hero of the Godswood was what they called Theon. She wondered how he would take it. Not well, she assumed. Theon never saw himself as a hero, even after everything he had done for Sansa. And what he made up for. Sitting by his bedside for the first time, it felt a little awkward for Sansa. The only time they had ever been this close was after escaping Ramsey; Sansa had taken Theon’s hand and hadn’t let go until she was forced to, she found solace in his embrace, his touch. But now things were different. It was true that Sansa had needed Theon more than ever. And maybe she still needed him now. She needed him to wake up. Needed him to reassure her that everything was alright, that he was here, alive, and well. Theon was alive, but Sansa wasn’t so sure if he was well. If he would ever be well. There was a possibility that Theon wouldn’t wake up, no matter how much Sansa didn’t want to believe or think that.  

Sansa had also never been in Theon’s chambers before. This was his childhood bedroom, the one he had grown up in and the one he had hated. Sansa never saw this room growing up, she never saw it when she arrived back at Winterfell as Ramsey’s bride and knew Theon never occupied it. Ramsey wouldn’t allow it. It was relatively bare; any sign of Theon had been washed away. This could have been anyone’s room. It could have been Robb’s. Jon’s. Bran’s. A stranger would have no clue. But it belonged to Theon, and it would do until he awoke.  

Sansa wasn’t entirely sure what she should be doing. It was true she wanted to be in Theon’s company, to be by his side and to make sure he was safe, to be there if he was to wake up. But that wasn’t happening. There were things to be done, plans to be made. But Sansa didn’t want to be doing any of that. It would only be a distraction. She could speak to him, but what would she say? There were so many things Sansa could say to Theon but forming the words and allowing them to escape her was trickier than expected. So instead, Sansa sat and watched. She sat and read, sometimes out loud, hoping to stir something up inside Theon. She watched the snow fall outside the window. She watched the raven's fly pass. And she watched Theon, looking as peaceful as he could be. She waited. Waited for him. And she would continue to wait until she could no longer.

The second time was far easier for Sansa. The scars had started to heal, Maester Wolkan had worked his magic. Sansa could hear Theon’s breathing more clearly now; it was calmer and not so ragged. She wondered what his dreams were filled with, if he was even dreaming at all. Knowing it was unlikely that Theon could hear her, she told him about Winterfell. About the Long Night. About the people they had lost. About the people they had saved. She spoke about how things had changed, for her, for her family and for Westeros. It was likely that she would have to repeat all of this if Theon awoke. No. When he awoke. But with him unconscious, Sansa allowed herself to be that little more vulnerable. There were things she would never dare say with him awake. Things she could barely admit to herself.  

Thinking back to when she walked into the Great Hall and found Theon standing there, pledging his alliance and his life for Winterfell, for her, it did something to Sansa. At the time, she wasn’t quite sure what that was. All she knew was that Theon had come home, he’d come back. And before she could stop herself, the two were embracing, as they had before, but it felt different this time. The feel of Theon’s tight curls on her soft cheeks, the warmth of his touch, the chill of his breath on Sansa’s skin. Sansa didn’t want to let Theon go, not now he’d come back for Winterfell, for her. It was all a little overwhelming. But Sansa had time to think, and those thoughts always led back to Theon.  

And before The Long Night, when she didn’t want to spend it with anyone else, but him. They sat together, huddled over steaming drinks. Quick glances and soft smiles filled their time together. Sansa felt like she was a young girl again, dreaming of a life with the Prince of Pyke. It was nice to have just a moment of normality with Theon. He told her what had happened since they had gone their separate ways. He gave his opinions on Jon and the Dragon Queen. The shame he felt for deserting his sister and saving himself. In turn, Sansa spoke about her time since being back home. How odd being Lady of Winterfell felt, stepping into her mother’s shoes. Being reunited with her siblings but knowing it could never be as it was.  

And then their time together was over. The Night King was approaching. The time for talking was over. Sansa was required to make her way to the crypt, Theon to the Godswood. She didn’t want to say goodbye, it was the last thing she wanted to do. But she knew she couldn’t stay out in the open. And Theon had a job to do. It was guilt, regret, that had told him to volunteer. Told him he must protect Bran. Sansa could see that; she knew why he spoke out. And Theon had completed his mission. He had protected Bran, held the Night King off long enough. Finally, Theon had made up for what he had done to the Starks, to Winterfell, to the North. Sansa hadn’t held him to that since he saved her from Ramsey, but she understood it didn’t matter how anyone else felt. Only Theon. Only he could control that now.

There was a part of Sansa that thought she could sense Theon feeling the same, not wanting to part. But they both had a duty, a part to play and they couldn’t ignore that. The two went their separate ways, with Sansa having no idea if she would see Theon again. If she would see him alive. If he would ever wake up. But Sansa didn’t want to think like that, she couldn’t, she wouldn’t let herself.  

So, as it happened, Sansa only managed to visit Theon twice. It was Maester Wolkan who had interrupted her thought. Rather appreciatively, Sansa greeted the Maester with one of her small smiles. Her thoughts had been filled with Theon, and she needed a break. There was only so much she could do, so much she could think and feel. There were things she knew she would eventually need to face, but they could wait. For what Maester Wolkan had to say was far more important.  

“Lady Stark.”  

“Yes?”

“Theon Greyjoy. He’s awake.” Maester Wolkan had barely finished his sentence when Sansa rose from her chair. It took almost everything for her not to sprint up to where Theon lay. She managed to compose herself whilst following the Maester to the dimmed corridor and was left alone to enter the room.

Sansa lightly tapped her fingers on the door to the bedchambers. She didn’t wait for an answer, knowing she would be entering regardless. But she forced herself to stay back, not wanting to intrude but her curiosity took the better of her.  

“Lady Sansa.” Theon croaked, watching Sansa as she entered and closed the door. She allowed her fingers to linger on the doorknob before turning around. Theon had started to move, as if he wanted to sit up, but quickly stopped himself, feeling the force of his injuries.  

Theon did not look his best. Though Sansa had seen him since being returned from the Godswood, seeing him awake was a completely different sensation. The scar on his face had almost disappeared, but that didn’t seem to help his appearance. Those full, healthy cheeks Sansa had seen when Theon returned to Winterfell only a few weeks ago had been replaced by something sunken and sullen. It was true that Theon hadn’t eaten since the Godswood, he hadn’t done anything since then. It reminded Sansa of the Theon she was faced with in Ramsey’s kennels, something so strange and foreign. A slight stubble had grown since Sansa last saw him, but if anything, that added to his appearance, and Sansa wasn’t ashamed to admit that. Bloodied bandages were covering his forearms, and Sansa had made a mental note to ask the Maester to replace them. But regardless of all of that, regardless of how terrible Theon may have looked or even felt in that moment, he was awake, he was alive. Theon eyes were looking right into Sansa’s, they were looking with a softness that Sansa hadn’t noticed before. They were looking at Sansa, as if nothing else existed at that moment.  

“You don’t have to call me that.”

“Yes, I do.” Lady Sansa. Not Sansa, why did that feel so foreign? Why, from Theon’s lips, did that feel so wrong? That kind of formality was not something Sansa enjoyed. She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted, what she had expected. But it wasn’t that. Theon knew Sansa. Sansa knew Theon. But Lady Sansa? Lady of Winterfell? Sansa was not sure Theon knew them.  

“You never used to. You didn’t call Robb a lord.”

“Well, he wasn’t. Not until...” Theon’s eyes glazed over, as if he was reliving a memory. Sansa didn’t want to relive that memory. Joffrey gleefully speaking to the crowd. The crowd shouting. Her father’s face as he realised his fate. Sansa herself being held back. The noise, all the noise, was unbearable.  

“No, that’s true. How are you feeling?”  

“Like death.” Yes, Sansa thought he would. He could have only been awake mere minutes before he was greeted by Sansa. On her last visit, she had informed Maester Wolkan she would be told the moment he awoke. This was important. She had to be one of the first faces Theon saw. She wondered if this was what he wanted, wondered who he wanted to greet him. Would he be unhappy being disturbed? Would he have rather be left to his own devices before being questioned? Or maybe Theon would have asked to see Sansa. Maybe he would have made a special request. Or perhaps that was just a fantasy of Sansa. One that never even existed.  

“Yes, Maester Wolkan said you were moments away from death.”

“What stopped me?”

“I wonder.” What had stopped Theon? What had stopped Theon from letting go, from accepting he would die in the Godswood. Their last conversation before the battle, Sansa could tell that was unravelling through Theon’s mind. He was preparing to die, to sacrifice himself for Bran, for Winterfell, for the North. So why hadn’t he? What had brought him back?

Sansa moved herself closer to the bed, wanting to close the space between the two. She pulled a lone stool out to sit by Theon’s bedside, and placed her hand on the bedsheet, only inches away from Theon’s. This was a deliberate choice.  

“Thank you, Theon.” Sansa had realised she hadn’t thanked Theon, at least not properly. She was sure he knew how grateful she was, how grateful they all were. He had paid in full for the things he had done. There was no need to feel any regret, remorse, or guilt. There was no point to it. Or that was what Sansa wanted, even if it wasn’t true. She understood it was hard, that it would take time. But they couldn’t be angry forever. And Theon couldn’t feel sorry forever.  

“What for?” Theon had moved his head to face Sansa, his eyes watching her closely. Sansa wondered how he could ask such a question, how he could believe she shouldn’t be thankful, shouldn’t be grateful for what he had done.  

“For everything. For me, for Bran. You didn’t have to volunteer, but you did.”

“I did, to make things right.” There was no point arguing this. This was something Theon had always thought, this was something Theon was always going to do. No matter what Sansa said, no matter how many times Sansa tried to make him understand. Sansa understood the battle Theon had with himself daily, more so now than ever. When Jon spoke to him at Dragonstone, when Jon told him he forgave for what he could, told him he was both a Stark and a Greyjoy, even that couldn’t change his mind. Sansa knew this. She tried to understand. She never saw Theon as anything else but part of them all. Growing up, Theon was always there. He was cocky, arrogant and sometimes a little rude. But Sansa thought he would always stand by Robb’s side. They all did. Perhaps that was what made the betrayal so hard. But that was in the past. The Starks that could forgive him, had. But maybe that still wasn’t enough. Even after swearing to protect Bran, Theon still felt guilt and regret. He hadn’t died for Bran, hadn’t died for Winterfell. But Sansa didn’t want that, she wouldn’t let it happen.  

“Things are right, they are.” Emphasising her point, Sansa’s eyes seemed to trail away from Theon’s and down to where his injuries lay. She knew roughly whereabouts Theon was stabbed, but looking at him now, it wasn’t obviously clear. “Where did they get you?” Her curiosity had gotten the better of her, but there was no going back now.  

“Just here,” Theon gestured towards his chest and abdomen, groaning ever so slightly as he did. “It’s not a pretty sight.” It was as if he knew what Sansa wanted. She wasn’t entirely sure she actually wanted to see the injuries, but there was a part of her that was interested.  

“I’m sure I’ve seen worse.” Sansa wasn’t entirely sure that was true. Yes, she had seen many things, many things she wished she had not. The flayed would often plague her mind, as would the horrors she had seen in King’s Landing. But perhaps that wasn’t the same.

“Sansa.” A sternness appeared from Theon, one Sansa hadn’t heard before, or at least not recently. He looked more serious now, and there it was. Theon was still protecting Sansa, even after everything. Even when she didn’t need protection. It was as if he couldn’t help himself, as if the vow he had made to protect Winterfell included her too. Of course, it did.  

“Theon.” Sansa couldn’t help but look directly at Theon now, trying to get some sense of what he was thinking. He had used her name, not her title this time. It felt different, different in a way Sansa wasn’t quite sure of.  

Theon’s eyes avoided Sansa, staring directly down to the edge of the bed he lay within. “What’s happened? What have I missed?”

“Your uncle, Euron, he’s dead. Gone.” Sansa blurted out. This was the first thing that came to mind. They’d received word that Ironborn Kingslayer was dead, ironically killed by another Kingslayer. How poetic. This would be good for Theon, that was one of Sansa’s first thoughts when she had heard the news. His sister could go on to rule the Iron Islands with no competition. But what that would mean for Theon, Sansa was not so sure. Or maybe she was but didn’t like the answer.  

“Who-”

“Jaime Lannister.”

Theon nodded but said nothing else about this revelation. His eyebrows furrowed for a moment, as if he was thinking hard. But they soon softened, accepting that his uncle was dead, and he would not be coming back. What this meant for Theon, Sansa was not sure. His sister was the rightful ruler of The Iron Islands, with no one contesting it. This meant Theon could go home, if he wanted. Sansa could admit that this would not be ideal. Not only for her own selfish reasons, but looking at Theon in his current state, she couldn’t imagine how much that would help.  

“The dragon Queen too. And Cersei. King’s Landing...” They were all gone. So much destruction in such a short space of time. Sansa hadn’t seen King’s Landing, but Arya... Her younger sister was there, she saw it all. She travelled back to Winterfell covered in blood, covered in dust and harboring some awful visions of what had happened there. Sansa almost couldn’t quite believe it. She never expected it to end well for anyone. The fight for the Throne was never going to be pretty, but the Starks had never cared about that. Her father had involved himself in those politics and he had lost his head. This was never their fight.  

“Maester Wolkan mentioned bits and pieces, but...I wasn’t very present. I think I kept drifting in and out of sleep. Some things are blurred, others seem like a dream. I’m not sure what happened and what didn’t. It was almost like before.” Sansa knew what Theon had meant by ‘before’. Ramsey. The two hadn’t spoken about it, not since Theon had arrived back at Winterfell. No sooner had Theon pledged to fight for Winterfell than it was time for the battle. They only had a moment or so alone, together. The subject of Ramsey hadn’t come up, and Sansa didn’t want to bring it up. That was all in the past. Ramsey was gone. But Theon, Theon was here. Theon had come back, he’d come back to the place that held so many memories, awful memories. Just as Sansa had. And Theon had come back for Winterfell, for Sansa. He said so himself. To fight for Winterfell. If you’ll have me. Those were his words.  

“I believe you were given a sleeping draught, while they...stitched you up.” Sansa didn’t know the ins and outs of what they had done to save Theon, but clearly it had worked, and she was grateful for that. She would be eternally grateful, more than anyone would know, more than she would allow anyone to know.  

“Probably for the best.” Theon winced as he moved himself, trying to get more comfortable. Sansa couldn’t imagine any movement would be particularly useful. Her eyes darted around Theon, watching as he became breathless. It wasn’t very pleasant seeing Theon like this. It was different to before. The Theon she had seen under Ramsey’s control was not here. That Theon was gone. The Theon she had grown up watching following Robb, telling jokes and practicing archery was not here either. This Theon was different, this Theon was new. But the strong, fresh-faced Theon that had come home to Sansa was now weak, tired and restless. She didn’t like to see him this way, in pain and almost confused.

“Yes.” Sansa agreed, unsure where the conversation would go. She almost felt nervous, which was an odd sensation. The two occupants in the room had known each other a long time. They had endured so much together. And yet Sansa was feeling ways she didn’t quite understand.  

“Have you heard word from Yara?” Yara, his sister. Of course, he wanted to know about his sister. Sansa felt almost stupid for not realising this. Her thoughts and feelings about Theon had been selfish. Even if Theon had come to fight for Winterfell, his loyalties still lied with her and the Ironborn. They always would. Sansa wondered if his loyalties were still split between his family and the North.  

“A raven was sent after the battle. After...”

“After what?”

“They thought you were dead. Everyone. It wasn’t until they started to move the bodies that they noticed. If we hadn’t...” Sansa shook her head, pulling her hands away from the bed and onto her lap. Her eyes diverted from Theon’s gaze and to where her fingers lay. If they hadn’t, if they couldn’t have saved Theon in time...It was something Sansa didn’t want to think about.  

“The gods have been merciful again.”

“I don’t think it was the gods.” It wasn’t the gods who had saved Theon. It wasn’t the gods who had protected Bran. It wasn’t the gods who had killed the Night King. The gods played no part in any of what had happened.  

“I didn’t think I would see her again. I gave her my word to be by her side but...” The words seemed to escape Theon. Perhaps it was still too much. Perhaps there were things Theon could not speak of, even to Sansa. The guilt was clear, even now, after everything Theon had done. Sansa imagined he would hold onto that guilt for a long while.  

“You will, she will come. You’re her brother, whatever has happened.” Theon sighed, trying to move again. Sansa’s hand found its way to Theon’s forearm, placing it there ever so slightly. She hadn’t expected Theon to flinch at her touch, but she supposed it made sense. She wasn’t even sure why she had done it, why she had touched him. But what else could she do? How else could she help? She wanted the pain to stop, but she was powerless in that. She wanted to show Theon she was here and was would always be there, as she wanted him to be for her. But perhaps that was asking too much, too soon.

“It hurts?” Sansa realised as soon as the words had escaped her mouth that it was a relatively stupid question. She couldn’t imagine the pain, but sometimes the physical pain was not even half as bad as the mental pain. Sansa hadn’t much experience with physical pain, but mental pain, she knew about that only too well. Pain that stayed with you, even when the sun had disappeared, and the world was asleep. The kind of pain that would haunt you in your dreams and not leave until you woke up screaming.  

“Terribly.” Theon mused, and Sansa could sense a flicker of sarcasm in his voice. At least Theon wasn’t completely emotionless, though being stabbed in the chest could do that to a person. She was glad that hadn’t happened. That there were still parts of Theon left.  

“Well, they almost got you in the heart. It’s bound to ache a bit.”

“Only a bit?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve learnt many things, but my knowledge about a knife to the chest is relatively limited.” Theon smiled at Sansa; a smile Sansa didn’t think she would see again. It was small and almost accidental, but it was a smile. She was glad it was her who made Theon smile. The first real smile she had seen in a long while. There was a part of Sansa that never wanted to leave this room, wanting to stay sitting with Theon for all eternity. There were things she wanted to say to him, wanted to tell him. But her throat seemed to tighten, her lips became dry and her mind blank. Would Theon even want to hear those things? Would he want to listen? Sansa was still unsure what those things were. But perhaps they would have to wait.  

“I should let you rest. I’m sorry for pushing my way in.” Sansa returned Theon’s smile and started to rise from the stool she had been occupying. Brushing herself down, trying to rid of the non-existent dust from her dress, Sansa could feel Theon’s eyes on her. If he wanted her to stay, he hadn’t made it known and that told Sansa everything she needed to know in that moment.  

“Don’t be sorry, Lady Sansa. Thank you.” There it was again, Lady Sansa. There was a part of Sansa that was irritated by this, but she wasn’t entirely sure why. It was as if Theon was forcing the niceties, the formalities between them. She wasn’t going to call him Lord Theon, that just sounded strange. But he had called her Sansa. This was what confused her. The forcefulness of her title.

Trying to get rid of these thoughts, Sansa nodded towards Theon and made her way out, making sure to not turn back as she did. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Sansa had wanted to stay for longer, like she had on her last visit to the bedchambers but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She could sense Theon was tired. He had only just woken up after all, and he needed space. Sansa needed to give that to him. It all seemed a little overwhelming, seeing Theon lie there so battered and bruised. Sansa wasn’t entirely sure what she had expected, but it was not that. And how was she expected to act? She wasn’t just Ned Stark’s daughter now. She wasn’t Ramsey or Tyrion’s wife. She wasn’t Jon’s sister. She was Lady Stark, she had so much on her shoulders. There were certain ways of doing things, as her mother so often told her growing up. But being in Theon’s presence, seeing him there, seeing him alive...She needed some time alone, some more time. She needed time to think.  

She was not given time to think however, as Brienne managed to corner her in the courtyard. Sansa wasn’t particularly angry about this. She liked spending time with Brienne and had found herself asking for her counsel more often in the past few days.  

“M’lady.” The knight nodded, gesturing towards the edge of the courtyard for the two to walk together.  

Sansa followed, though her eyes darted back to the path she had taken, the path that had led her away from Theon. “Brienne. Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” Brienne answered rather abruptly, avoiding Sansa’s eye. Clearly, everything was not alright, though Sansa didn’t pry. She didn’t feel it was her place, though she wished Brienne would confine in her. “How is he?”

“Fine, I think. As good as he could be. He’s alive, that’s what’s important. He didn’t leave us...” Sansa hadn’t realised how sharp those last words were. This was a habit of hers, appearing colder than she had intended. Maybe it wasn’t always an accident, particularly when it came to her siblings. But Sansa would never want to do that to Brienne, not after everything she had done. The look on Brienne’s face in that moment and in certain moments before allowed Sansa to understand. She understood what the so-called Kingslayer meant to Brienne. It was odd, really. How someone so difficult and so distance could be connected. Sansa’s thoughts drifted to Theon once again, maybe Brienne and Sansa were more similar than she thought. Both Theon and Jamie Lannister had done terrible things; they had been constantly reminded of those terrible things but had paid the price. Jaime more than Theon.  

“I didn’t mean-”

“M’lady, please, I know.” Brienne seemingly forced herself to give Sansa a smile, indicating that she wasn’t angry and understood. The knight had battled with her feelings for Ser Jaime ever since they first met. It was the longest and hardest battle she had ever endured. But the battle was over. It was over the moment he left her for King’s Landing. “I’m glad for you.”

Sansa wasn’t so sure why Brienne was glad. She was Lady of Winterfell; she had survived the Long Night and so had her family. But this was already known. Theon...he had lived, and of course, Sansa was happy, she was almost gleeful. But Sansa was sure she was relatively skilled at hiding her feelings. This was something she had learned to do. But maybe Brienne knew her better than she thought. Brienne understood this battle Sansa was having with herself.  

“I’m not sure what to do.” Exasperated, Sansa was realising how tired she was feeling. The past few weeks had taken it out of her. And it was true, she didn’t know what to do. Not about Theon, not about Winterfell, not about anything. She felt almost powerless, as if any decision she would make wouldn’t help.  

“Maester Wolkan has it under control.” Brienne nodded, trying to reassure Sansa, though she imagined it wouldn’t be much use. “I wanted to ask, for a favor?”

“Brienne, you don’t have to ask me. Whatever you need...”

“Not for me, for Pod. I ask that, if the time comes, you allow him to offer his services to you.”

“And what about you? You’re not leaving?” Sansa stopped in her tracks. She wasn’t sure whether she would be able to manage someone else leaving her. She had gotten used to Brienne’s company, and she enjoyed it. They had all suffered, that was true, but surely that was all the more reason to stay together.

“I would never leave you m’lady. But...”

“You offered to protect me, Brienne. And you have done so far more than I could have ever imagined.” This was true, Brienne had made sure Sansa had got to The Wall safely. She had travelled to her uncle, The Blackfish. She had stayed in Winterfell with her. She had fought the dead. Sansa couldn’t think of anyone more loyal.  

“Your mother...” Brienne sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. It was clear she still harbored some guilty feelings. Still felt some responsibility for what happened to Sansa’s mother.  

“You kept your promise. But I can’t hold you to that, now. Things have changed.” Sansa didn’t want to keep Brienne away from what she wanted. She couldn’t do that, not to someone who had protected Sansa do loyally. Not to someone who had exceeded her oath and more. “I won’t pretend I don’t want you to leave, but I understand.” It felt selfish keeping Brienne here, and Sansa didn’t want to do that.  

“I feel badly, m’lady.”

“Please, don’t. We should all do what we must, what we want. I’m only realising that now. So many chances have been lost...”

“You have a second chance, Lady Sansa, a lot more than most. You need to take it.”  

Sansa wasn’t entirely sure what Brienne had meant by that. But she was sure in time she would find out.  

#game of thrones #got #theonsa #theon x sansa #theon greyjoy #sansa stark #got fic #theonsa fic #sansa x theon #game of thrones fic #theonsa fanfic #got fanfic #game of thrones fanfic #theonsa fanfiction #got fanfiction #game of thrones fanfiction #my writing #mine #we unraveled a long time ago

[bibatbrat]

TMA Season 2

Ooooo spooky 👻

Jon said I am back at work before my doctor said it was ok and I am SO fucking scared

What If There Was A Band That Was So Fucking Bad

ACAB but I fucking love Basira and Daisy. Sue me.

I also love GERTRUDEEEE

It’s so fucking funny that Michael Crew tried to use Boneturner’s Tale to help him, it didn’t work, and then he’s like “oh well i’ll just take it to the library i guess”

The New Door feels very much like Hive and I love it

Gerard saving Andrea Numis from the Lonely by telling her to remember her mother when he’s on vacation right after being acquitted for his mom’s murder…. Gives me feelings

Tim canon bisexual 💙💜💖

Elias being a pothead in college is true character depth and development 10/10

Alexander Scaplehorn (the tax guy) is so fucking funny. Man cares so much about preventing money laundering that he survives the supernatural 🙏

Trevor the vampire killer canonically homophobic 😔

Jon finding out that Martin was lying about his qualifications and being so relieved bc 1) Martin probably did not kill Gertrude and 2) turns out that Martin is not an incompetent idiot, just a dropout

Not going to lie, I think I could’ve hacked it on Daedalus, but that’s just me

But also letting a private company shoot you into space to do isolation experiments is so incredibly dumb and Mr. Chilcott should’ve known better tbh

Agnes Montague saving Ronald Sinclair from Hilltop House via a searing kiss on the cheek… truly who is doing it like her?

We love a workplace intervention

The Buried coffin eats a cop so shoutout to the Buried I guess

Mary Keay and Gertrude have such a fun dynamic and I would kill for just a whole season of the two of them tbh

I think Binary might be my fave episode of this season. The statement itself is delightfully horrible, and the Tim/Jon fight at the end just makes it *chefs kiss* perfect

Jack Barnabas’s statement drives me crazy. Him saying he doesn’t think he has a destiny and Agnes saying, “That must be nice.” Him asking for a kiss and her crying after she gives it to him. Him losing everything after it, even though she dies.

The Book of the Dead is such a good concept.

A Long Way Down makes me sad ☹️ I’m a sucker for brother stories

The Kind Mother is fucked up. The aspect of Lucy having not even gotten along with her mother before NotThem replaced her makes me crazy

Jon is so fucking dumb. He listens to the statement about NotThem getting trapped in the table and is like “obviously I need to destroy this table” 😔

Jon telling Tim and Martin to take the next couple of days off fucks me up, especially after the time he spends listening to Sasha’s voice recordings. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else!!!

Tim and Martin going after him though 🥺

Also, oh my God, Tim and Martin just being silent for a full twenty seconds after the recording of Martin’s poetry gets played… truly awkward enough to make you forget about your friend who is maybe being hunted/killed

John worrying about conserving the tape to record himself being hunted and maybe killed… sir, that’s the Eye at work

Tim and Martin arguing about Tim being a dick and fighting all the time with John and Martin just wanting them to all be one big happy hostage family…. 🥺🥺🥺 they care about each other and I am dying

I fucking love the “taunt you into revealing your position” trope. NotThem telling Jon about how it hurt Sasha when she erased her and him yelling at them to shut up… yes!!!

NotThem about to kill Jon and him just whispering and apologizing over and over and over to Martin, Sasha, and Tim aghhhh

<rdj voice> there was a sewer man

Jurgen Leitner really lived in their basement huh

Leitner being a parallel to the Archivist and Jon being so disgusted w the way he uses and discards his assistants to horrible fates… sure hope that doesn’t come back to bite him in the future lol

“An angry goth” yo that’s my booooooy

Leitner is like, “I diagnose you with Voyuerism” and Jon is like, “This is so scary and I am gay and need to go cry brb”

Leitner talking to the recorder and telling Gertrude that she would’ve liked Jon 🥺

Elias said hello I am here to be evil and we have no choice but to stan

(Alternatively I am really glad I wasn’t on here during the peak bc Elias would’ve gotten sooooo annoying, but now I can enjoy my funny little murder man w no consequences 😈)

He <redacted> that old man 😳

Tim and Martin not seeing anything other than the body and just IMMEDIATELY assuming that Jon clubbed someone to death in his own office… can we get an F in the chat 😔

It’s 👁👄👁 time baby

#j listens to tma #tma #liveblogging

[bluejayblueskies]

1, 12, and 18 (for either mal or TMA, your choice!)

ask me some random writer questions!

1 - Who’s your favorite character to write?

For Malevolent, I love writing both Arthur and John, but I think I like writing Arthur just a little bit more because I do love a regular human who is Going Through The Horrors TM and struggling with his own humanity <3 plus, from a more practical standpoint, writing a blind character has made me consider different ways to convey situations, focusing on the other senses (like, telling what somebody is feeling based on their tone of voice rather than their body language), which i've enjoyed.

For TMA, Jon Jon Jon Jon my beloved Jonathan <3 <3 for very similar reasons as Arthur in that he is a man Going Through The Horrors TM and struggling with his own humanity. i love him as a character AND he's very fun to write, which is a combination that has driven my (checks Ao3) 84 published TMA fics.

(the rest under the readmore as it got long)

12 - What is one character you love but rarely/never write?

For Malevolent, it's the KIY, which can be attributed entirely to Croik's Now That's What I Call Entangled! series which are some of my absolute favorite Malevolent fics and really endeared me to the Arthur/KIY dynamic. TFW ur an eldritch god who spends all ur time hunting down and tormenting the same human and,,,, maybe,,,, you fall in love with him 🥺

For TMA, it's a bit of a complicated answer bc I don't particularly love Peter as a character and don't necessarily feel compelled to write more of him but i also crave more jonpeter fic in my life so. idk. also daisy <3

18 - What is one theme/storyline/idea you wish to write but never have?

Hold on lemme dig into my big list of prompts

For Malevolent, I have a Bartimaus trilogy AU rattling around in my brain that i am 👀👀👀 wanting to write while simultaneously knowing it will turn into a Big Long Project and not having the energy for that rn 😔 i may do it as a series like my selkie au so I can publish specific scenes as they come to me/i feel inspired to do them.

oh, I also have this that i forgot about (copy pasted from my prompt doc):

arthur does actually die in ep. 20, and john gets stuck in a time loop by the kiy a la that one supernatural episode where he can't keep arthur from dying in increasingly horrible ways. the way he gets out of it is by finally giving in and going willingly to the kiy, giving up his autonomy and agreeing to live peacefully and without argument.

For TMA, I have,,,, so many lol. here's a non-comprehensive list:

leitner bodyswap au

hell's kitchen au

jon realizes in s4 that his invulnerability to injury extends to mundane death and becomes. quite careless.

au where martin goes with to great yarmouth and basira stays behind in london, and he gets out before the building explodes and goes searching once the dust has settled and finds jon

inkheart au

#ask #organchordsandlightning #had to put a readmore bc i can't shut up lol #*rubs my hands together* angst..... #ask game

[catfishofoldin99colours]

Daisira and Scarian (god i hope i got that right?) for the ship ask game 👀

Clair I love you SO much 💜💜💜 (and YES you got that right!!)

Ok SO

Daisira: SHIP IT

What made me ship it: big scary murder werewolf has one (1) person she is weak and will bend for, what the fuck is NOT to ship

Ok but fr I saw most of the daisira ship on Tumblr as I was getting into tma more and before I really got to the end of S3 and it just looked kinda cool, I think what really made me take off with it is that I just fell head over heels for daisy herself and went 'oh no I can also put blorbo in Situations with Feelings attached' and well it was all downhill from there

But since then I have thought more about them and I do really find daisira interesting as a duo, they're fun to pick apart in how they connect and what connects them and how much they know about each other and interact and why and what they're willing to reveal to the other and how much of their relationship can be inferred from really very limited interactions with each other in the podcast itself vs what they say to other characters

They're fun! They're interesting!! I also like comparing their relationship with their relationships with the other characters too - like how daisy perceives basiras attention and approval vs how she interacts with jon, and how basira's relationship with Melanie and Martin differs to her relationship to daisy and so on.

That also answers the question about what are my favourite things about it (aside from the fact that they make for good smut scenarios lol) so;

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I seen to be in the minority of people who hc daisy as taller than 5 feet sjdjsjajaj so that's probably it??

I mean I also hc daisy as transfemme which various parts of the fandom seem to disagree with a lot but. I do what I want and I'm not hcing her as that because she's aggressive and brutal like come on I know better than that jesus christ

Anyway! Onwards

Scarian: SHIP IT

what made me ship it: 3rd life. Not much else to say djsjja

What's my favourite thing about it: oh man, they're just Not Normal about each other no matter what you do - grians always dancing around scar like a pigeon on cocaine and whether it's in exasperation or excitement it's always just absolutely nuts to watch

And scar is just also not normal, I mean he's not normal in most scenarios and about most of his hermit friends but there's something about how he interacts with grian, either in hermitcraft or the life series, and they're just. God.

They just love each other a lot and it's so obvious how they're such great friends and how much they do love each other and I'm talking about irl interactions mostly but in lots of fic and art and au stuff they're just kind of insane to look at and the fact that they are so Not Normal in irl interactions they make for such interesting dynamics to play with in au stuff, it's FUN. God I love them so much

Is there an unpopular opinion I have about my ship?

Don't fucking get me started ohmygod - there's so much angst already and I actually don't mind that, angst is so good when done well and to their credit, most angsty fics I've read do a great job of balancing it with appropriate levels of fluff and emotional care and healing between them

It's just. There's part of the fandom. That. Idk. Babies both of them??? In the sense of 'grian can do no wrong' which sometimes also goes in hand with 'scar is a victim and unable to stand up for himself' (which is also especially egregious when the actual Minecraft youtuber is physically disabled and has been for almost his entire life like. Just say you think physically disabled people need to be infantalised) and it's just like. Shut up.

What I love about scarian is that they're BOTH terrible and complex and weird and yeah they have bad traumas (depending on what mcyt lore you choose to engage with for them both) that certainly can exist as explanations for their behaviours and attitudes but personally I find it more fun if they're also just Like That and just fucking weird about each other and kind of fucked up??

Ajdhjajaja that post that's like 'gay sex would make this situation worse but we should give it a shot anyway' AND that post that's like 'things that would be deeply unhealthy for any other ship but given its these two its Actually the best case scenario' like THESE TWO ARE JUST SO FUCKED AND WEIRD AND INSANE ABOUT EACH OTHER LETS LEAN INTO THAT and stop infantalising scar while we're at it and also stop making him just take shit from grian because he doesn't and he shouldn't and it makes me personally offended when I see people making scar just take shit from grian in fic and art and stuff

Anyway! There's my thoughts, thank you for asking ^^

[dathen]

Would you mind to elaborate on why you think ep. 161 & 162 had "the perfect jonmartin dynamic"? I'm curious.

Warning for season 5 negativity ahead, particularly re: Jon and Martin's relationship. Stop here if you don't want to read about it!!

Okay to start, I have a lot of issues with the writing of Jon and Martin's relationship in season 5. This isn't because I expect a picture-perfect relationship or have any interest in villainizing any characters; there were just so many moments of "??? what the fuck why would you say that," on top of major unresolved flaws that were never treated as flaws. For instance: Martin asking Jon if killing him would have helped anything in 167, Martin telling Jon--a burn scar victim--how gross he finds burn scars in 169, Martin barely blinking at Basira telling Jon she should have let Daisy kill him in 177, "God forbid the creepy ever stops" in 191, the running joke of how impatient he was when Jon needed to stop and make a statement when that need was a direct result of Jon's trauma and a bodily change forced on him...

And then the entire smiting arc, which went absolutely nowhere, but involved Martin barreling past Jon's discomfort with killing in 166, getting angry at him for refusing to kill someone for the sake of his own jealousy in 168, getting angry at him AGAIN for refusing to kill in 174...only to throw the absolutely baffling line of "I’ve been out there with you. I saw the kick you got out of making them scream for once. You weren't supposed to enjoy it that much!" at Jon in TMA 194.

The bickering and impatience is so constant that I've seen fans insist that, well, there's a lot of time we don't hear, maybe they're not bickering then? But I'm looking at it from a writing and storytelling perspective, and I put the blame on the writing more than on any particular character. In the behind-the-scenes, the creators talked about how writing those conversations was the easy part that they could just wing and not bother editing, so they could focus their energy on the soundscaping and tech side. A lot of what I listed above was explicitly meant to be comic relief without a thought to how uncomfortable it is in the context of a relationship. And as someone who's listened to a lot of RQ content, it was a bit telling when I could straight-up recognize Alex's sense of humor or even snippets of things he'd said about Jon in the past coming out of Martin's mouth.

So back to 161 and 162!

I see a lot of people insist that the issues with Jon and Martin's relationship in season 5 are "it's because it's a new relationship" or "it's because both are so traumatized, what do you expect!" However, none of the stuff listed above are connected to being new or traumatized! Martin KNOWS Jon struggles with his humanity; even if Martin is traumatized, why would he call Jon creepy to his face? Since when does Martin prioritize his own boredom over Jon's suffering? HOW can Martin just shrug off anyone saying they should have let Jon be murdered? How could ANYONE knowing the extreme of Jon's self-hatred propose the "if you had died, would it make things better" hypothetical?

In contrast, 161-162 (along with the s5 trailer) hits a perfect balance of convincing, genuine care and love, while still having conflict directly connected to the strain and trauma of their situation and new relationship. We see Jon in a horrible low, and are allowed to feel his pain without it being played as funny or inconvenient. Martin is sympathetic but doesn't know what to do with it. He makes jabs hinting at his impatience--"I'm good at waiting"--but doesn't act as if Jon's just being miserable on purpose to inconvenience him. There's also more balance in the conflict: Jon snaps at Martin about how "not everyone can just cut themselves off from their feelings," exposing old hurts about Martin's distance in s4, but immediately apologizes. We see an imperfect couple being imperfect people, not wanting to hurt each other but sometimes stumbling into it. We also see the way they do hurt each other being framed as such, rather than treated as a joke. We even see the awkwardness of the new relationship with Jon's fumbling knock knock joke.

It also just has SO many good moments between them. Jon's fiercely protective "I won't let it," Martin's eager preparations for their quest and Jon's warm fondness over it, "It's quiet, here, and I have you." Those are all on the level of "let me know if you see any good cows," to me, and mean twice as much given the darkness of the situation.

(I am also convinced that without the pandemic difficulties, the writing quality of 161 and 162 would have continued: they wouldn’t have had to “wing” Jon and Martin’s conversations, other characters could have been involved to suggest the “should we have killed Jon?” hypotheticals, etc.)

P.S. If I see anyone vaguing about "people demanding perfection from queer ships" or "you just don't know how real relationships work" or "omg I can't believe people are calling Martin abusive" I will pour glue in their shoes and glitter in their sock drawer.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma negative #tma spoilers