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thelaurenshippen · 5 months

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re: that *chef kiss* PERFECT Franken-Drummer post and tumblr not being all over The Expanse, I know right?? it’s such an amazing show with so many delightful, complicated characters yet it’s so unfairly slept on! maybe because S1 takes awhile to get going and ppl give up? idk but it makes me sad that I have so few ppl to squeal about Drummer and Amos and Bobbie and Christjen and Ashford and Naomi (ad infinitum) with 😭🚀😭

WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT OBSESSED WITH THE EXPANSE HELLO!?!?! there's literally so much to love about it oh my god. you're right, it DOES take a second to get going but once it does!!!

for those of you who have not read or seen The Expanse series (I myself have yet to read the books), let me tell you why you'll love it:

political space drama with incredibly distinct cultures and phenomenal world building, if you're a details girlie (gn), you're gonna go nuts

the found family vibes!!??! are off!?!? the charts!?!? (minor spoilers for the first few episodes) four people are thrown into a situation in which they accidentally become the most important people/fugitives in the whole galaxy and most of them DO NOT trust each other, what could possible go wrong, and even better, what could possibly go RIGHT

Christjen Avasarala. you are not ready for her. most powerful mover-shaker on earth with the most incredible outfits you've ever seen, refined elegance with the filthiest mouth, plus she's got a classic "whatever those two have going on is so gay it veers into something else entirely" with her younger protective knight lady, Bobbie

Bobbie. the "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" post is made for her. we meet her in the show for the first time when she arm wrestles a robot and WINS. you will be begging for her to step on you with her mech suit

speaking of women I want to step on me Camina Drummer. angry revolutionary pirate queen of my heart. do you miss the unique agony of 2000/10s queerbaiting but want it to be not baiting somehow? this show does that, idk how else to explain it. the most agonizing sapphic pining you've ever seen but it's textual and also not painful because its gay. don't worry, Camina fucks, just not the girl she wants most (also spoilers, but this is not a bury your gays show don't worry)

Jim Holden is literally just Some Guy who becomes the special fantasy chosen one because he simply cannot stop Getting Involved. nosiest bitch in the universe, I love him.

imagine you're a girl who leaves your shitty ex and gets a normal industrial job on a spaceship, only to have a six foot, two hundred pound killer dressed as a mechanic imprint on you like a baby duck, and its unclear whether he wants to fuck you or call you a little sister but he definitely WILL kill for you and will do literally anything you say and then you both end up caught up in a weird galactic war by mistake and there's this other guy with a captain america level moral compass and he's cute and you're into him except your shitty ex is still out there with the biggest secret you have and meanwhile your best female friend is the coolest person you've ever met but you don't think you can be what she needs and you're holding your family together, you're holding the universe together and all you want is justice for your people but unfortunately you've gone and fallen in love with the accidental most important man in the galaxy. well, every day Naomi Nagata wakes up

Praxideke Meng. botanist of my heart. literally tames the rabid guard dog that no one else could. gentle and able to stay gentle because of said dog. which brings me to...

Amos Burton. I saved him for last because he is my guy. he is THAT guy. canonically aromantic pansexual king. are you into guard dog characters? do you find yourself drawn to the "sorry my love language is acts of service and all I'm good at is killing people" characters? amos burton is like seventeen tumblr posts come to life. previously mentioned enormous killer dressed as a mechanic, former heels wearing "I didn't always work in space" sex worker who is always rolling into brothels and being like "you guys unionized?", gives a shit about basically no one in the universe except his crew and every single child in the galaxy, accidental comedian because he cannot stop saying weird shit, not a nice or good person but a loyal one, and one who is always trying to relearn the empathy that was carved out of him as a young person. every time he goes homicidal to protect one of his chosen people (crew + any and every child), an angel gets its wings.

fin.

#answered #the expanse #most of this is cribbed from the essay I was texting a friend the other day lol #which is what inspired my expanse posting in the first place #bc I was like 'I HAVE to stop bothering this friend' lol #btw the canonically aromantic pansexual thing teeeechnically comes from the writers' twitter?#but like #you simply have to watch the show to know that about amos #he mostly doesn't sleep with people in the show and yes the few he does are women but the dude is queer #but anyway the authors have explicitly said he's aromantic and that his sexuality is 'yes'

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 2 months

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02/28/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast&CrewSightings; Rhys;Taika; HowToHelp; Guardian Survey; Ranker; AdoptOurCrewAnalysis; 50DaysInTheGravyBasket; New Watch Parties; Pirate Radio and Yes Man; Watch Party Reminders; California In Person Events; Fan Spotlight; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika

Another VERY eventful day crew. There's actually more but I needed to get some permissions to share so hopefully I'll have them up tomorrow! Hope you are all having a lovely day/night! <3

= Cast & Crew Sightings =

== Rhys Darby ==

Rhys is out here being silly and thoughtful on his IG Stories again!

== Taika Waititi ==

Rita has been so kind to us fans by providing us footage on her IG Stories! We get to see our silly guy being happy and silly!

== How to Help ==

= Guardian Survey Link =

The Guardian would LOVE to hear your feedback! If you have a few moments to help, feel free to fill out the survey! Survey Link

= Ranker =

Great job all! Looks like we're already up to #1! Thanks @_irene_adler on IG for capturing this!

== Adopt Our Crew Analysis ==

Our friends over at @adoptourcrew have put together some awesome data regarding our Captain Rhys Darby!

== 50 Days in the Gravy Basket ==

@saveofmdcrewmates posted this video today marking "50 days since the cast, crew and fans of Our Flag Means Death were plunged into the Gravy Basket."

@giulianaazr has created this video to remind us that there is a way out! 🏴‍☠️🥹

youtube

Tumblr / Twitter / Instagram / Youtube

== New Watch Parties! ==

= Pirate Radio! =

More details coming tomorrow!

= Yes Man! =

Join us for a Yes Man Watch Party!

Graphic by@ICouldBeFamily

Where: #RhysDarbyFaction Discord When: March 10th 12 Noon PST / 3PM EST / 8PM GMT Who: Need Access? Reach out to @AspirantAbby42 on twitter, or @gentlebeardsbarngrill here on Tumblr!

Watch Party Hashtags:

#HellYesRhys

#RhysDarbyFaction

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

== WATCH PARTY REMINDERS! ==

= People of Earth S2 =

People of Earth S2 continues tomorrow Feb 29 at 9 pm GMT / 4pm EST / 3pm CST / 1pm PST. Need access? Reach out to @iamadequate1!

#PiratesOfEarth

= Uncle Season 2 Watch Party! =

Wed 28th + Thurs 29th GMT - 8pm / ET - 3pm / PST - 12 pm Streaming on I-player! Outside the UK? Follow this VPN tutorial to learn more.

#ForTheNewUncle

== In Person Events ==

Nothing Moves Without The Crew!

Thank you to @WGA_fandomLove on twitter for letting us know about this meet up in Los Angelos California! Please visit their twitter and follow for more information!

Gay Pirate fandom friends in the LA area - let’s rally in solidarity with @IATSE on the eve of their negotiations with the AMPTP. They represent Hair & Makeup, Costumes, Grips, Set Decorators, Props, Camera Operators - basically all the magical people that made OFMD shine!

== Fan Spotlight ==

= February Love Collage Fest! =

Thank you again to @wndrngnomad for these collages!

Day 28: The friendships of the cast and crew!

= Cast Cards by @melvisik! =

Our wonderful crew-mate @melvisik has been kind enough to share their trading cards of the cast members with us over the last several weeks! These are super cool because you can see some other shows they've been in as well! They've said it's okay to print them out, use them as trading cards, or anyway you'd like :) Wanna see more? Check them out over on the Repository!

== Articles ==

"The Best Series In March" - German Article ty to @Addie__H for the translation of the title.

== Loves Notes ==

I apologize lovelies, I think the last few days are finally catching up to me so I'm going make this short tonight. HOWEVER, I WILL SAY -- I saw so much Safe Space Ship today and it warmed my heart so much. So many of you are reaching out to crew-mates and giving encouragement and I'm so very proud of you <3. Seriously, I don't know of a better fandom out there (and I've been in a quite a few in my day) where there has been so much acceptance and support. I know we're all struggling a bit with disagreements/concerns over renewal efforts, but you all are still just out there giving love left and right. You really are just the most amazing group of individuals and I'm so honoured to be here with you. I've probably said this a thousand times, sorry but it's what runs through my head whenever I see the love you're sending out. I am going to take advice from @thelatestkate and sign off and go get some rest. See you all in tomorrow-world, love you dearies <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Just some goof for tonight. Nothing too similar except I know quite a lot of us look at Taika like that all the time (respectfully).

Tonight's gifs are brought to you by:

Rhys: @fandomsmeantheworldtome

Taika: @ofmd-ann

#daily ofmd recap #daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #rhys darby #taika waititi

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brainfugk · 2 months

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15 questions for 15 friends.

Yes, I've been tagged by @gentlebeardsbarngrill letsgoo

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

I'm the child, who couldn't get parents name anymore, so the next nearest one.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Two days ago. I had no spoons left, NO SPOONS, and I needed a relaxing afternoon, which didn't happen. Either crying from exhaustion or Id wear black (or striped) for a long time.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

none.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

I definitely hope so, or I'm mixing it with irony.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

What kind of language are they using, I mean do they speak kindly.

WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

boring brown

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Always happy ending!

ANY TALENTS?

NOT turning into bat, when I scream BAT! and feeling under weather when its under weather outside.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

In the youngest town in our country.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

*copy paste from gentlebeardsbarandgrill* Uhhhh, mostly gay pirates lately.

(and gay ineffable husbands) listening to fanfiction and lot of relax. Also I'm inexplicably into Eccles Cakes.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

No. :( Im traveling alot

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

176 cm (69.29 inches)

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

Physics

DREAM JOB?

I don't know! everything sounds so snooty. I just want to be useful.

no pressure tags:

I know you're into this, @weirdly-specific-but-ok, @theonevoice, @hang-on-lil-tomato @lavarend, @komorezuki, @ivankaramazov07, @bananapudding752, @spookydazechaos, @aziraphalesflamingcock, @dobry-slimak

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stem-sister-scuffle · 3 months

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STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 15

Raphella La Cognizi (The Mechanisms) vs Kurisu Makise (Steins;Gate)

Raphella La Cognizi is an... Everything Scientist! (people said "all sciences"... also she loves magnets)

Kurisu Makise is a Physicist and Neuroscientist!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Raphella La Cognizi:

"All of them, probably, focused on chemistry and biology if I had to guess. She's the science officer of the Mechanisms, a band of immortal space pirates. They regularly blow up planets for fun. Raphaella designs them better bombs, tortures poor captives, tortures and vivisects her crewmates, etc. I love her also"

"it's unclear--she's a mad scientist archetype more than anything! she does, however, really like magnets. she's an immortal space pirate. she possibly made herself immortal. she's autistic To me. i love her so much. as cruel and brutal as she is... science!"

"everything? the more unethical the better, although she does really like magnets. Immortal space pirate! so she's got all the time in the universe to do science. until she dies, of course, which happens when (spoilers) she decides to fly beyond the event horizon of a black hole to find out what's on the other side. She's the science officer on her starship, which is just a badass job in general, and she's got WINGS. the wings are mechanical and the reason she's immortal. we don't know for certain if she was born with wings and they were replaced, or if she just went "wings sound fun!" and built some, or much of anything about her backstory. But! speculation is rife and there is a nonzero chance she's immortal because she experimented on herself, which is fun. Also she's just *really pretty*, ok, and has the voice of an angel. She is as cruel and brutal as she is science."

"shes immortal she has time to do all the sciences. well. she does die after like 10 millennia but even that is a final science project! she throws herself into a black hole, maybe to die, maybe to learn something new :) your honor i love her"

"SHES IMMORTAL SHES A MURDERER SHE DOES EXPERIMENTS ON HER IMMORTAL CREWMATES SHE LIKES MAGNETS SHES ***GAY*** shes my beloved"

Kurisu Makise:

"This girlie out here disproving time travel theories as an 11 year old, and then making better ones with a whole ass thesis. She and her found family time travel buddies did make/have a time travelling phonewave (microwave with phone attached)"

"Physicist? I think, the usual girl genius who graduated from super elite uni at like age 17. She has the patience to deal with okabe rintarou, my ass could never fr. I need to rewatch steinsgate. That��s all"

"Idk I’m weak for analytical tsundere girlies. She’s pretty"

"Even though it has extremely little with her career, she invented a time machine as well as uploaded her brain into a computer. She's also super duper cute, she's serious but snarky, she's THE tsundere. She's got the range. Even if S;G has aged poorly with it's representation, it's still an amazing character driven story and it manages to nail that early 2000s nerd experience"

"A part of the development of the time machine. Labcoat swag."

#stem sister scuffle #round 1 #raphella la cognizi #the mechanisms #kurisu makise #makise kurisu #steins;gate

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goggles-mcgee · 2 years

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Look I am weak for AU's

WEAK

One AU I love for Steddie is Pirate AU and all I can think about is Eddie, captain of the ship Hellfire boarding a royal boat looking for treasures maybe a captive. He gets both!

He finds Prince Steve.

Eddie the Banished (who used to be a Prince who was accused of false crimes thus banished from his own kingdom) is just like: "You'll do Big Boy."

The crew is totally expecting Steve to start pleading for his life or to maybe try and convince them to take someone in his place but he just gets up and starts to get dressed with an excited smile because this was the first time he was allowed out of the kingdom and now he gets more adventure!

Steve: "Okay! Can I pack a bag? Is that allowed? How long do you think I'll be with you because I have to be honest, I will need to take my bathing supplies if you think it's going to be long."

Eddie who had been checking out the royal "assets": "Hm? Oh uh...yes? Yes you can bring a bag. Whatever you want Your Highness "

The crew is just staring at Eddie like, you useless gay, really now? As we're doing the job? But they know once Eddie's interests are piqued it's a done deal. Eddie's, and maybe some of the crew's hearts melt when Steve asks them for a favor.

Steve: "Can we please also bring my Personal Attendant? He is young and not like the other men in the castle. I fear if I were to leave him, the others would not be as kind to him as they are with me here, which if you ask me is not as kind as they could be. His name is Dustin, he should be in the quarters down below. Oh and also Robin, she is a Minstrel and I know if I were to leave her she would not make it back to the castle."

And like...how can they refuse? Like they are pirates but that does not make them bad people and the Prince seemed desperate and sincere so what the heck? They also kidnap Dustin and Robin along with Steve.

Steve when he sees Robin and Dustin on the Hellfire: "My friends!!"

Robin: "You had us kidnapped."

Steve: "Yes."

Dustin: "You are unbelievable!"

Steve: "Would you have preferred to stay on the ship with Thomas and all the others?"

Dustin and Robin grumbling but shaking their heads.

Steve: "Besides! Look at it this way, we get to go on a better adventure than visiting Prince Jason and convincing his father that continued trade with our kingdom is beneficial to us all."

Steve, Dustin and Robin really bond with the crew and Captain Eddie keeps "forgetting" to send out the ransom note everytime they port and pillage if that's what they decide. Eddie literally is head over heels for his little prince so fast it's not even funny, like he let's him sleep in his quarters, he makes sure he and his friends are well fed. He does not tie any of them up or put them in cells. He'll when he and Gareth were trying to make sense of a new treasure map they had gotten their hands on, that Dustin kid was the one who solved the first riddle for them. Now he, Robin and Steve were basically helping Eddie and his inner ring solve the map. Steve always said he had nothing to tribute to the group but it was his little thoughts and comments that really helped from time to time and he solved one of the riddles all on his own.

Basically Steve, Robin and Dustin get adopted by a pirate crew and just become pirates!

#stranger things hc #stranger things au #stranger things the party #stranger things gareth #stranger things jared #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steddie headcanon #steve harrington x eddie munson fluff #robin buckley #dustin henderson #pirates au #oh to fall in love on the sea #except i read about it because i have a fear of ships on the sea

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filmy939 · 1 month

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Our Flag Means Death: The Queer Pirate Show That Completely Altered My Brain Chemistry

It was early spring 2022, and a dear old friend came to spend the night. She came inside, put her stuff down, turned to me, and said, “There’s a new show I just heard about. It has gay pirates; we’re watching it.” I was a bit hesitant at first. I couldn't tell you why. But, seeing how excited she was, I put my hesitancy aside. With this decision made, we poured a few cocktails, made our favorite dinner (pasta with a yummy homemade pesto), queued up the show, and my life was subsequently changed forever.

David Jenkins and his team of outstanding writers have created a show filled to the brim with love, acceptance, kindness, and humor. Our Flag Means Death follows wealthy landowner Stede Bonnet. Fed up with the monotony of his life, he abandons his wife and children in the middle of the night to become a pirate. While at sea, he finds a new family in his hilariously incompetent crew. Stede, who has quite frankly an impressive lack of skills, often gets himself and his crew into trouble. Which inevitably catches the eye of Edward-heart-eyes-Teach, the infamous dread pirate Blackbeard. Who also happens to be fed up with the monotony of his life. Ed and Stede fall hard and fast for each other (which is absolutely mesmerizing to watch). For as long as they both have been alive, they have had the idea that they are unlovable monsters who deserve to end up all alone. But, once they find each other, that idea, that story that they had about themselves, quickly begins to fall apart at the seams. By the end of season two, they have fully started to accept that they are worthy and deserving of love, no matter their scars or demons. And that is one of the main themes in this show. No matter how many scars you have, the demons you have to face, or what you have gone through in your past, you are worthy and deserving of love. To be quite frank, I couldn't have discovered this show at a better, more pivotal time in my life.

Our Flag Means Death came out during the second semester of my sophomore year. Almost the entirety of that year was extremely dark. I had failed a class the previous semester and was at risk of losing the scholarship I had worked so hard for. I was working insane hours at a job I hated for a boss who could not care less about my well-being. I had convinced myself that most, if not all, of my peers in my major despised me (I know now that’s not the case at all). I was stressed beyond belief. If I were to be fully transparent, I felt that I was fully and wholly unlovable. And when I was in the deepest dark of that year, this treasure of a show, this lighthouse, gave me the hope and the push I needed to start working on how I view myself and those around me.

Fast-forward two years, and I am about to graduate. I have fully realized that I am not only deserving of receiving love but also of freely giving it. While I am deeply saddened that Our Flag was canceled, I know that its legacy and message will stand the test of time. Inspiring those who feel undeserving of love for generations to come.

#our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #gentlebeard #ofmd s2 #ofmd #our flag means gay #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #edward teach #renew as a crew #essay #queer cinema

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zstraps · 2 years

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tbh one thing that makes Our Flag Means Death so delightful is how utterly unhinged all the characters are and how fully we just accept that. there’s a sort of moral suspension of disbelief—like yeah i know that in the moral universe i exist in, setting a ship full of people on fire and leaving them to die is not an okay thing to do, really. but i don’t give a second thought to it happening in the silly gay pirate moral universe.

and i feel like that’s a credit to the show! like in the same way that really good world-building lets a viewer suspend their disbelief and engage in a fantasy/sci-fi world—even though part of your brain is aware that in the world you live in, people can’t, say, move things with their mind, you accept that in this fantasy world, they can. But it needs to be consistent to be convincing—if the rules of the world don’t apply to some characters for unexplained reasons, or the logic breaks down if you look too closely, it jolts you out of that universe.

if you extend that same logic to the characters’ way of seeing the world—the OFMD creators did a great job of creating characters who are unhinged but in a way that’s convincing and even relatable within the context of the story. i accept that within the little gay pirate world, there is nothing morally wrong with murder or maiming or torture or stealing, but being racist or creating pointless work for your crew out of spite makes you an asshole.

and it’s so delightful because it allows for all these bonkers character interactions, little moments of subverted expectations. like stede’s guilt in ep 2 turning out to not be about killing nigel at all but about leaving his family without closure. or like when ed tells stede he hasn’t killed anyone since his own father—in a different universe that might indicate a moral difference between him and the other pirates, but instead he follows it up with “maiming’s different. love a good maim” and acknowledgement that he orders people killed all the time, just doesn’t like to do it himself. and suddenly an interaction that you’d expect to be about guilt or not wanting to cause harm instead becomes something else—something about ed’s discomfort with the uglier aspects of piracy, or about his reaction to his father’s violence, or about a part of himself he’s afraid to face, or about his relationship to the idea of death. so many possible interpretations—it’s such a fascinating little window opened up into his character.

it’s also fun bc it just completely absolves you of any feeling that you have to agree with a character’s morals in order to like them. not that that’s a super interesting way to engage in media anyway, but in a show like OFMD you literally can’t bc NONE of the protagonists would pass that test. so you’re sort of forced to just sit back and enjoy the ride

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means death meta #ofmd meta #just some rambly lil thoughts #the hyperfixation continues

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sylvies-chen · 7 months

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I have no real feelings towards izzy hands. I do not hate him, I do not feel particular adoration for him, I’ve always felt neutral about him but I do appreciate izzy for what he is. but boy do I have some takes on him! and though I’ve refrained from speaking my mind I’ve learned that the hate mail will come anyway so fuck it, I’m doing a meta. please, if you feel very passionately about izzy on either side of the spectrum, please do not read this. this is a singular person’s interpretation of things, it means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of the world so please just be respectful. ok let’s do it:

*takes deep breath* *taps the mic*

to me, izzy hands is/was an antagonist not because of any internalized homophobia that may or may not be there but because the world of piracy has adopted its own system and practice of hegemonic masculinity.

hegemonic masculinity is the practice of the dominance of men— or, certain kinds of men— in society, so women and other marginalized ways of being a man are subordinated (i.e. queer men, trans men, disabled men, fem men). our flag means death does a great job of establishing two very different worlds and their takes on hegemonic masculinity: high society, and piracy. in high society, whiteness and wealth are two main pillars of masculinity. men are allowed to exhibit more feminine behaviour or attire such as ornate and colourful clothing, wigs, bows, tights, makeup, etc. because they are displays of social status and material wealth. in the world of piracy, however, those things aren’t exactly possible. violence is the real currency and the main tool in constructing the toxic masculine hierarchy. their attire has to be intimidating and express a capacity for violence. toxic masculinity is also established and formed through a sort of stoicism/being emotionally closed off, intimidation, power, deception, and fear.

ed has mastered how to perform fear and masculinity all too well over the years, but he also hasn’t been happy whatsoever in that role so when he discovers stede, he finds stede’s attitude refreshing and transformative.

season 1 izzy is different. season 1 izzy has thrived within the pirating world by adhering to the standards of hegemonic masculinity and does not see any problem with it. he enjoys the existence of a hierarchy and, though he dreams of being captain/top dog, still thoroughly adored (past tense now, though I originally wrote this before the teaser clip came out) being servile to edward. this sort of devotion does come from a place of being in love with ed. he does not have a problem with that, nor does he have a problem with the fact that men love other men. if it were up to izzy, gayness/homosexuality would be integrated as an acceptable characteristic of hegemonic masculinity.

but stede does not want that. he questions why patriarchal society has dictated that men not, under any circumstance, display their creativity, their emotion, vulnerability, hopes, dreams, or fears in front of each other. he questions why men have been taught to bottle things up, and why they aren’t more kind to one another. he actively works to dismantle toxic/hegemonic masculine standards within his own crew and season 1 izzy hates that. he sees those as the qualities of someone weak, soft, and effeminate. he wants to have queerness subscribe to the qualities of toxic masculinity that have been enforced upon him which is why his main beefs have been with lucius and stede, who are the most “feminine” and open gay men on the ship (stede being emotionally open in izzy’s eyes at least, and lucius being sexually open/vocally open and indifferent to authority). that’s why he uses lucius’s flirtatiousness and “promiscuity” as blackmail, and not his actual gayness. his problem has to do with his version of masculinity. he sees lucius and stede’s ways of being a man as worthy of subordination.

and yes, that is bad and he needs to work to unpack all that shit. but you can see through his comments in the trailer about piracy fostering a sense of belonging, through the teaser clip of him crying in front of others, through the unhealthy dynamic he finds himself in with ed where he pushed a button that he didn’t realize was going to set off a bomb in ed (metaphorically speaking), that he is starting to unpack it, and is learning the hard way (through much sympathizable suffering) that this system benefits no one, not even him. it harms him, in fact. his loyalty to a standard of masculinity that is so unobtainable, to a system that is not built in anyone’s favour, and one that makes him the losing dog every time, is starting to crack!! we can see him learn to develop a form of masculine self-expression without any of the toxic qualities that made him so wound up as before, and instead allow healthy masculinity to co-exist with a culture of acceptance and queer community!!! but his antagonism in season 1 doesn’t mean he’s homophobic per se, it just made him gender normative and annoying.

#I swear I have never been more nervous posting something #be normal about this one okay? cause someone *cough cough nonny in my inbox cough cough* wasn’t #my thoughts #izzy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet

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ratsetflummi · 24 days

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Okay, now the FUNNIEST Legend of Drizzt moments. *gets popcorn*

uhhh, how much time do you have?

i need to put this under a read more, because i ended up finding one scene per book on average

told you that this series is actually a comedy

1) that time when drizzt thought that three lighting bolts aimed directly at his face were just a friendly sparring session, and then immediately got distracted and forgot all about that attempted assassination because he saw a cat

2) drizzt and zaknafein both going "oh no, he is lost to the evil ways of our people, i would do the world a service by killing him" at each other, but not doing anything about it

3) the first thing we ever learn about jarlaxle being that he has special gay pride merch that is enchanted so you can still see that it's supposed to be a rainbow even in complete darkness

4) that one human wizard drizzt ran into in the middle of the underdark. just. that wizard's entire existence. why does he have a german accent. why does he keep shooting lightning bolts out of his tower when they keep being reflected back at him. rip brister fendlestick, you were only in that one scene, but i miss you every day

5) the mindflayers going "fwoop!" when they shoot a blast of brain melting energy at you

6) drizzt: who are you? you are not my father! zombie!zaknafein: no, i am your… mother!

7) drizzt learning what a skunk is

8) that one wizard that entreri was travelling with in streams of silver messing up her knock spell and dropping entreri's belt instead, and entreri going against what you would expect from his archetype in that kind of story (which would be getting angry and possibly violent) and just sarcastically going "oh wow, great job" and calmly picking his belt up again

9) drizzt casually revealing that he can juggle, suggesting that either he juggles as a hobby (unlikely) or implying some interesting things about drow weapon training

10) entreri choosing to put sewer water in his mouth just to gain little tactical advantage (and then still losing the fight anyway)

11) entreri showing up disguised as regis, dropping his own name in conversations weirdly often under the assumption that the companions are way more worried about him than they actually are, and the companions being completely oblivious about regis acting way differently than normal

12) entreri's insistence that he and drizzt are great rivals, while drizzt can barely be bothered to remember that entreri exists

13) drizzt training a seal to retrieve guenhwyvar's figurine from the bottom of the ocean

14) the heart-shaped drizzt-seeking locket. the fact that that exists, as well as the fact that entreri had that back in the peak rivalry days

15) entreri casually introducing himself as mister do'urden for absolutely no good reason (i genuinely still don't know why he did that)

16) jarlaxle: kimmuriel, you are the leader of the bregan d'aerthe now, i'm going on a road trip with entreri kimmuriel: i'm what?! entreri: you're doing what?!

17) entreri going to the effort of painting jarlaxle's silhouette on the wall to throw knives at the crotch

18)

19)

20) jarlaxle being peak peacock in promise of the witch-king

21) jarlaxle throwing pies at a random couple in a bakery because he mistook them for assassins

22) the reveal that jarlaxle and kimmuriel were just casually watching entreri fuck his girlfriend

23) the several scenes in pirate king where salvatore seemingly forgot that regis is a halfling, because drizzt keeps putting his arm around regis' shoulders and walking away like that, when really regis' shoulders should be down somewhere around drizzt's knees

24) a manifestation of mielikki coming to carry catti-brie to the afterlife, catti-brie responding that she needs to go sleep with her husband first, and mielikki allowing this and just coming back for her in the morning

25) entreri and dahlia behaving in a way that i can only describe as two teenage girls fighting over their mutual crush

26) the entire scene when they threw charon's claw into the primordial pit and entreri failed to die

27) drizzt: come on an adventure with me! entreri: drizzt, it's two in the fucking morning, what the fuck

28) drizzt making puppy eyes at entreri so he will please go on an adventure with him and entreri just closing the door in his face

29) the entire soap opera that was drizzt and dahlia's relationship

30) kimmuriel walking in on jarlaxle sleeping with at least two drow of undisclosed gender and just standing there and staring until jarlaxle finally puts on his trousers

31) jarlaxle's constant innuendos and seeming inability to shut up about his sex life

32) jarlaxle looking completely calm and composed from the outside at all times, but any scene from his pov revealing that he has no idea what he is doing and is lowkey panicking half the time

33) catti-brie: drizzt is my husband, i have been brought back to life to help him and not for anything else bruenor: yeah, same! uh, except that he isn't my husband

34) the dragons flirting with drizzt and drizzt kinda panicking about how to reject them without being eaten as revenge

35) jarlaxle finding drizzt down in a tunnel fighting demons, and just pulling an entire fine dining set out of his hat and having fancy dinner while his bird is ripping more demons apart just around the corner

36) the reveal that jarlaxle is bald because of repeated fireballs to the face

37) this instance of everyone rolling nat1s on their geography check

38) jarlaxle threatening people with knowledge of his kinks

39) random citizen: she's so pretty jarlaxle: yes, thank you, finally someone who recognizes my beauty

#the drow books

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chuplayswithfire · 2 years

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i love the writing for Stede because he's an excellent example of how a person can be marginalized in some ways and privileged in others, which is, in general, the way the world actually works. its rare for there to exist a person with absolutely no privilege and only marginalizations, but people generally don't think of the ways that we're privileged, especially when we're suffering from the ways that we're marginalized

and that's why stede is a great example, and his writing does an excellent job of digging into the topic. because stede experiences a lot of marginalization as a gay man, from childhood bullying and abuse from his father right up to being pressured into marrying a woman and having children - but he's also immensely privileged by virtue of being rich, white, and a man, with each of those things insulating him from the realities of the world that other people, including the people around him, suffer through.

like, with mary - stede's marriage to mary as viewed by stede is one where they're both miserable in monotony, but when you look at the show in reality, stede checked out of his marriage because he didn't want to be there. mary didn't either, but she tried to make it work, because she doesn't have any other options in her society - she would be disgraced and without support, monetarily, or familial in most cases, if she left her husband, and she wouldn't be allowed to divorce him. she has to make it work because this is her only option.

but stede has options. stede can check out. stede can leave his wife to do the hard work of raising the kids while mary has to be the one to ask them to stop running around the house, and initiate conversations with them at the dinner table, and nurture and care for them. stede is the fun dad playmate, and its why when he decides that he wants to leave his monotonous life, where he's uncomfortable in a married state, that he leaves the children behind with her.

and with the crew - stede is a terrible captain in terms of actually knowing how to sail a ship or do anything that a ship needs doing. we all know this. the characters know this. there's a reason oluwande agrees that stede is going to get them all killed, and jim calls him the worst pirate captain ever - when stede sets out to be a captain, he genuinely sucks at this. he's terrible at it, because he didn't have to learn anything about doing any of it, he just needed to be rich to achieve everything he ever wanted, and then rely on the labor of poorer white men and poorer men of color to make it all work out for him.

in episode two, when stede finds his courage to go after the hostages and prove himself as a captain, he says "i am adequate", which is both played for comedy and empathy - comedy because its such an understatement for a positive affirmation, empathy because it's *such* an understatement and goes to outlining stede's overall low sense of worth, but i think it's also important to note that it's kind of right? at best, stede is adequate at that moment.

and throughout the show, we see stede take a lot of things to heart, but also, in many ways fail to take responsibility for things he does wrong - he overcompensates and makes them about his lack of worth, or he deflects and makes them not his fault, or he gets overly critical towards others so he doesn't have to accept any blame or fault - and it all stems from this mindset that's been built into him from youth, that he's worthless and terrible and pathetic.

and here's the thing: i'm not saying that stede's abusive father or the badmintons or anyone else who bullied and tormented stede were right. he's not a lily-livered little rich boy who's never going to be anything else. but they did impart a lot of learned helplessness into stede, at least as i see him, where because he has such low self-esteem, he genuinely seems to think that he can't possibly cause harm to other people. he feels guilty about abandoning his family, he feels guilty about leaving them behind, he feels that this makes him a bad person, but it's not until episode 9 and he learns that he's been reported dead that he seems to genuinely think about the ways that his family could have suffered without him.

after all, in keeping with the times, it's very possible that mary would have been educated on managing a household, but not finances or businesses, or the land that they run. it's very possible that other relatives could have come crawling from the woodwork for the fortune. it's possible that with the money being louis', not mary's, by right, that she could have been with very limited access to their funds.

a lot of bad things could have happened, even WITHOUT the emotional hurt that being abandoned by a husband/father would cause, but stede doesn't seem to have expected any of that. in episode 10, he's surprised and hurt that his children are angry and have forgotten him. he's angry that mary has found a person to be in love with. he's upset that he came back and coming back wasn't enough for anyone, because he didn't think he, stede bonnet, could hurt anyone.

and that's partially because he's always seen himself through the lens of victimization and the ways that others have hurt him, and not in the ways that he could hurt others. mary's life is better with stede gone not because of his inherent lack of worth as a person, but because he was a terrible husband, wrapped up in himself and his griefs and his hurts and his very real marginalizations, and in doing so completely failed to be compassionate or kind or even an active participant in his own domestic life.

by the end of the season, we see stede finally starting to own that. we see that he's recognized his part in the harm he caused, and that he's finally being active, not reactive, in his own life. he makes the decision to leave openly, he carefully removes himself from at least one of his privileges - his class, by abandoning his wealth fully, this time, no longer leaving himself a lifeline to the world of the wealthy elite, and setting out to be an equal to his crew and to ed.

and that's a GOOD way to show this kind of story. because we are often much more attuned to the ways that we experience marginalization than the ways we enjoy privilege. privilege functions near-invisibly for the privileged, because we don't see all the ways we benefit from a world that's purpose-built for us. it takes intentional thought and perspective to see that the world is not built equal, and that we don't all move through it in the same way. often times, we have to confront sources of our marginalization, like stede did in coming back home and dealing with the life he left behind, to acknowledge our privileges - like stede did again, facing his fellow disaffected rich peers and the wife and children he hurt - to begin being active participants in our lives.

i'm really glad for the way stede's journey is handled. it would have been SO easy for the show to say that stede has no fault in his actions, that he had no choices, that he was just reacting. instead the show shows us that stede had options all along, but he was so embedded within himself that he didn't see them, and straggled along, hurting people because he was too busy in that mindset, until finally he came out of it.

i'm excited to see season 2. i'm excited to see where stede grows next, now that he's finally actively shaping his life, not bowing to his learned helplessness, not looking away from the negative impacts of his choices.

#stede bonnet #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 speculation

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 7 months

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ofmd s2e3 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

squeezing this one in riiiiight before the next two eps drop lol. anyway these posts are about me processing these episodes and if you want to read them then that's cool too. but fair warning this is gonna be a fucking mess.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

show opens on zheng leading a raid and INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. this might be the first time we've seen a raid where like. the background music is kinda moody. and what's odd is that it has like the same level of comedically over-the-top violence and characters just having a casual conversation as like, the e5 cold open. but there's sad piano and strings doing tremolo in the background. i have no idea what this means.

god. zheng is so fucking hot.

i love olu's "no, no, sorry, bruv." and the FACE HE MAKES AFTER!!! so good

olu's a feminist

ZHENG IS SO FUCKING HOT

~champers?~ stede you are such a dork. i need to pinch ur cheeks.

yeah fuck the english!!

zheng saying "everyone's cracking down on the little guy" makes me wonder if the show is gonna do anything abt how the end of the golden age of piracy was like. a year off. which i only know from reading a few fics where the authors incorporated that into the plot. and there was the one trailer where we see zheng in jackie's bar while stede's giving everyone a speech so yknow what that might be where all this is going. big pirate battle at the end of the season, right?

another thing ive been wondering abt tho is just how much is this show gonna completely fuck with history. because like. is zheng yi sao gonna conquer the fucking caribbean. are we just going completely off the rails re: historical accuracy and inventing entire major historical events?? like crocs and pinocchio and pirates from different historical periods all existing at the same time and in the same place is one thing but if the characters like. overthrow england. then ofmd just straight-up exists in an alternate timeline at that point.

stede "the gentleman pirate kills with kindness" bonnet being so impressed with zheng is so cute to me tho

fhsjkgdhfushl oh my god when zheng snaps her fingers and stede hurries to refill drinks the other captain guy grins and flashes finger guns at stede and this is SO fucking funny to me

zheng being like "noooo it's stupid teehee" tucking her hair behind her ears ALSO very funny to me

whose job was it to make the letter N out of caviar for the title card in this episode bc it looks fantastic. got little serifs and everything

stede taking his towel duties VERY seriously and just. dropping them on zheng's desk for no reason. even olu is like "stede what the fuck are you doing"

obsessed with the running gag of stede being like "i always say that!" and other characters being like "no you fucking dont"

stede having zero impulse control and seeing the abacus and just being like "hey what the hell is this thing" and shaking it around. me too, king.

i wont lie tho part of me wonders if stede like. going overboard with towel duty and messing shit up is on purpose. like is he playing dumb so zheng lets her guard down just in case he needs her to think he's completely helpless?? bc at the end of the episode he does get one over on her and i assume it's partly bc she underestimated him. or am i just reading too much into it lol.

but idk it's weird that olu's like "ok stede zheng is busy" and stede's just like "im gonna shake this thing now teehee"

WAIT ALSO backtracking a bit. why were stede and olu shadowing zheng at the beginning of the episode. i mean olu i get, it's bc she has a crush on him (who can blame her) but what's the in-universe justification for zheng being like "yeah alright white boy u can come too"

stede's gay little run out of the room. GO GET YOUR MAN!!!!

awww the crew all look so sad at how messed up the ship is :( THAT'S THEIR HOME!!!

I KNEW THE GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 WAS GONNA KILL ME WHEN IT SHOWED UP IN S2 BUT THIS WAS TOO FUCKING MUCH. THE WAY IT TRAILS OFF AND WE JUST HEAR THE WIND ECHOING. FUCKINGGGGG CLAWING AT MY EYES

i love that there's knife stuck in the painting guy's dick. stupid gags like that never get old. also if that was izzy it's extra funny like what the fuck did he even do that for

also have we ever actually seen the outside of the door to stede's cabin like this before??? we saw those dutch guys get chased down this hallway but idk about. the door.

the crew is too busy feasting on raw bird like they're extras in a zombie film to hear stede calling for ed. love that.

the two people that the camera focuses on individually are jim and izzy. makes sense bc these are the characters who i think are gonna have the most important shit going on re: the fact that they all tried to kill ed.

stede's painfully awkward smile after "um... hi." i mean honestly tho what the fuck else do you say to walking in on this

oh shit jim was totally about to tell stede what happened tho. and then archie interrupted with "oh shit, you're stede?????"

this must be so fucking funny from archie's perspective tho. must've heard so much abt this guy and now she finally gets to meet the main character of the story she stumbled into about a third of the way through. and he's kinda just some blond guy.

stede sounds so defensive too tho when archie's like "i thought you'd be taller, charismatic, muscly" bc god that's exactly what he thinks he should be. i mean ok stede is charismatic in a very unique way but his whole e1 fantasy of having a beard and being all macho and badass was just putting all his insecurities on blast. and now archie is like "this is the guy blackbeard was so fucked up over?? really????"

shoutout to archie saying "got tired" when theyre all saying ed retired

also why was wee john in this shot. like not even just in the shot he's just sitting RIGHT behind stede listening to the whole thing. he doesn't have a single line.

stede rolling his eyes and ignoring izzy is so good. yes king dont take the bait

oh ok wee john was there so that we can see frenchie go over to him and give him a fist bump in the background while stede walks away to stare off into the distance

eddie on tha beach

piggie!

cave! remember when we were all like "CAVE KISS???? ARE THEY GONNA KISS IN THE CAVE??????" it would be funny if this is it for the cave. just off in the distance for one shot. cant actually tell if this is the cave they were posting pictures of last fall tho and idrc enough to try and figure it out

pig's name is ruthie. ed why did your subconscious name the pig ruthie.

why did ed's subconscious make hornigold tell him "open up for the cargo ship" ed your daddy issues are fucking insane

hornigold fully like rubs ed's chest for a second there. kinda a weird choice there.

"last time i saw you, you said you were gonna flay my skin and feed it back to me" man what is it with these pirates and forced autocannibalism, huh? i think getting flayed would hurt more but skin's probably easier to eat than toes so idk which i'd prefer. no i dont know why im pondering this either

smthng abt how this is ed hallucinating this whole bit where hornigold pinches his nose and force-feeds him soup is so funny to me. it's a metaphor for ed dragging himself kicking and screaming to therapy.

frenchie telling fang to stfu scjgdfchjxgk

fucking incredible line delivery from joel fry through the whole "it's quite hot, im burnin up here! should we go and get some coolin' bevvies?" bit. love it.

uhh line break

also bro auntie is dead-on about the guilt. i dont blame the crew at all for what they did but this + the whole bird-eating sequence bro. they all liked ed. they cared abt him. other than archie, they all knew him as a pretty cool person. like BRO im gonna have to make another post abt this but the trauma of like, someone you liked becoming so suicidal that he puts you in increasingly miserable situations hoping you'll snap and kill him and he keeps escalating it until you have no choice but to kill him for your own safety. but you know he was a funny and chill person before this. and you know he only did this bc he wanted to die. dude this shit is fucking heavy.

anyway cut to jimolu lol

bro what IS going on in towels. i love how stede just passes around towels for smelling. is this something people have done literally ever or is this just so we can have chloroform towels at the end of the episode

sorry i know in the last post i was sort of squinting at the bit where olu forgot how to pronounce china but the was he mispronounces eucalyptus is just so satisfying to hear i cant even be mad abt it

awwwwgh u can tell jim was scared to tell olu abt kissing archie

lmaoooo when jim says "i saw her boobs" olu's head WHIPS around and he's like "oh??" all wide-eyed dbhjgkhdfyjsk

naw im sorry this is cute. this is a cute tealoranges scene. yes it's jim telling olu abt how they hooked up with someone else but bro i LOVE relationships with this kind of comfortable discussion abt sex and abt relationships in general. i mean there's a lot more for them to talk about still but in a worse show this wouldve been a whole screaming match. instead we got jim saying "you're kinda the best friend i tell everything to" and joking about boobs and UGH. it's so cute!!!!

it's also so fucking funny tho. "i saw her boobs" "oh?? okay, nice" "both of them" "nope, too much" WHY IS THAT WHERE HE DRAWS THE LINE HFKHSGJKFKKJFHK

also when did jim see archie's boobs tho. like ok realistically they've seen each other in varying stages of undress just bc it's not that big of a ship and there's only so much privacy. but the funnier answer is that after ed kicked them out of the secret room and a few minutes later a gunshot went off (who did the rest of the crew think pulled the trigger, i wonder) and they think izzy's dead probably. and then jim and archie decided this was a good time to hook up.

wait i forgot abt the nebulous amount of time between the mutiny and stede walking in on them all eating a dead bird. who fucking knows how much time that was tho. but they could've hooked up then i guess

GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. IM SOBBING.

the song gets to play out more in this scene and ohhhh baby i missed this piano piece. also stede looks more annoyed than upset. he's just casually yoinking things out of the wall. and then he sees the ones on the ceiling and is like "really, ed?"

i think i said this in the tags of a gifset but izzy says "don't cry, bonnet" when stede's back is to him and i just think it's funny bc stede literally wasnt crying. he just looked kinda pissed off. izzy continues to not understand ed or stede even a little bit.

also i love how the music changes by just playing a minor chord and then there's like a spooky echo and then. no more background music.

i just realized izzy's crutch is literally just a mop he's holding upside down. this is funny to me for some reason

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one" izzy hands racism moments

why does izzy even lie about this. why does he say "no i could never do that" when literally he did. he looked right at ed's face as jim hit it with a fucking cannonball. like. what fucking purpose does lying about this even serve. in what way does that benefit izzy. idgi

also ive heard that apparently ppl think he did this to spare stede or something but 1. why would he not want to specifically torture stede as much as possible 2. this is literally not sparing stede bc stede would spend the rest of his life scouring the entire caribbean hoping to find the island where they dropped ed.

RANDOM fucking idea tho but what if they did maroon him but it was on the island from 1x02. that wouldve been great for ed probably. get therapy from the old guy. have some coconut rum drink. chill out. oh well instead they shoved ed into a secret closet and left him there to die from a traumatic head injury.

hornigold calling ed "bro" was such a dead giveaway for me that this was a dream sequence or whatever. like from trailers and stuff i had already figured that this guy was hornigold and that he was probably a ghost or something but i think i mightve been questioning it a little bit at this point. but yeah anyway ed says "bro" and while obviously we dont know exactly what hornigold was like, he didnt sound like the kind of guy to say "bro"

i do love how hornigold's like "you worried you're insane?" and ed's just like "yeah a little bit!"

hornighost: you gotta move on or blow your brains out. or... we can make some soup. ed: yeah let's do soup.

wait stede told zheng that they marooned ed. and then zheng is like "well it's at least mutiny-adjacent" like no im pretty sure that's literally just a regular mutiny

bro rubio qian is so good at making faces

i love how ed's like "you ever thought about selling these shoes?" like who the fuck is hornigold going to sell them to. where does ed think they are.

OUGH RETURN OF ED'S HAIR ALL UP IN A BUN!!!!

ough... return of ed's trauma :(

ughughghuhguhughughgffffff every time i hear ed's voice in the bathtub scene i want to cryyyyy SOMEONE HUG THIS MAN I SWEAR TO GOD

also hornigold's mouth definitely moves in this shot where ed climbs off his body lol

hnnng... ed arm

oughuhgu and a strand of the wig came out of the bun WHY IS HE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

i cant believe for months i had my fingers crossed for the "person A thinks person B is dead" trope with ed hearing about the fuckery but instead i got it THE OTHER WAY AROUND. AAAAAAAAAAAHH

yo is hornigold wearing like. a flag. idk why i just noticed this but there's like a giant metal rung with rope tied through it holding his whole robe-ish situation together. is that a flag

very random thought but i love how tv shows just cut back and forth btwn plots and one plot might basically be one conversation but every time we cut back theyre in a different setting and we dont see how they got there. like the cut from stede walking in on the crew eating a bird to all of them back on zheng's ship eating soup. and now we went from ed yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" at hornighost's hut and now they're on a beach talking abt what the fuck is going on. why did they go there. who knows. doesnt matter.

ed is so fucking stressed abt being in the gravy basket. poor man is nervously playing with the big stick and trying so hard not to lose his cool.

damn he threw that stick really far tho. good arm.

im sorry but it's SO fucking funny how zheng is trying to seduce olu in this scene and she's like "whats the status of your boatmance is it... ongoing?" *unsheathes sword* like girl that's not seduction that's a full-on threat. i mean it's still hot dgmw but it's unclear what exactly you're going for here

YES STEDEY-BOY

loving the jaunty little escape music

archie and jim holding haaands

stede: you always say you have perfect aim black pete: ive never said that roach: you always say that lucius, throwing his beloved boyfriend under the bus: you said it today

buttons is so fucking loud fhjkhgyejkthfjkhg. ngl i relate tho

obsessed with the noise button makes when he slides across to the Revenge

and they use tea towels to slide over!! god stede really made the most out of his time in towels

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE how olu is the one sitting on the desk with his legs dangling and kicking during this makeout session

also obsessed with how theoretically olu could've seduced zheng out of killing the crew and it's possible that none of this was necessary

wait i literally just realized that they stole the wheel not just so that zheng couldn't follow them but bc the Revenge didnt have one lol

ugh ed's tits look so good what the hell

ed in his head instantly associates the phrase "calico jack" with someone going "WHOOHOO" at the top of their lungs

oughu FUCK i did not fucking realize this but ed is taking hornigold's presence here as confirmation that he's not loveable. earlier hornighost said "you're afraid you're unlovable" but then when he's on the cliff and he's like "you brought me here because you hate yourself" ed is like "im not loveable." ohhhhhh fuck

and then hornigold is like "and you're afraid to do anything about it. but im not" and then throws the rock off the cliff. this is the shittiest part of ed's brain calling him a pussy for not killing himself and telling him he deserves to die. fuuuuuuuuck me.

oh boy okay. ed got yanked off the cliff. stede is heading into the secret room. idk if i even have anything to say about the mermaid sequence like i cant believe this shit is real. fuck. this is a fever dream. they really just... wrote this. filmed it. put rhys darby in a fish tail. FUCK

ok the two things i have to say about this. first: the fucking flashback montage in this sequence makes me stop breathing like every single fucking time. secondly: when theyre face-to-face in ed's mermaid fantasy there's a split second where ed sort of jolts forward a tiny tiny tiny half of an inch. and i have no idea if it's intentional. but it makes me think of how in the "you wear fine things well" scene ed TOTALLY STEPS IN THINKING STEDE'S ABOUT TO KISS HIM.

WRITTEN BY ALYSSA LANE AND ALEX SHERMAN. SHOUTOUT TO THOSE GUYS.

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decent0distraction · 6 months

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Our Flag Means Death AU where everything is the same except Nigel is actually crushing on Stede pretty hard and he genuinely cares about him so he joins the crew and AHHHHH-

-Ahem. Sorry. Let’s break it down.

SO, we have Nigel, whose crew spots the Revenge, “EyE!”, but pauses. Because

that can’t be him, can it? Stede Bonnet? Were the rumors really true? This can’t be the same sweet, good person Nigel knew when he was young, can it? A pirate captain? No. Stede Bonnet couldn’t possibly have become something that Nigel is supposed to destroy.

Still, he looks…nice. That color is a good color on him - a nice color. In fact, Nigel woke that morning entirely sure that he despised such a color, but now, he isn’t sure of anything.

So screw the crew, we’re goin’ over there. Why? Don’t ask questions, Bob. Just for that, Bob, you get to stay behind on our stupid, smelly ship in this job that I’m pretty sure was a mistake so yeah, Bob, fuck you-

-Anyway, they go over there. Stede panics like in canon and while the rest of the Navy ship crew are just kind of like “okay??”, Nigel sees right through them.

And yet, he finds it endearing. He needs to get Stede alone, to apologize and address the rumors without raising cause for concern amongst the other officers.

So he requests a tour and a little banter jumps across the table between the two captains.

“A tour,” Stede repeats questioningly. Why would he care about a tour?

“Yes,” Nigel confirms with a smile. “A tour. It is an activity in which two people may do together. It involves walking around the property of which one person owns, with the intent to show the other person what that property entails.”

“Intent, you say,” Stede quirks, a small smile tugging at one corner of his mouth.

Nigel could almost laugh. Did he just see the beginnings of a smirk? “Don’t be cheeky now. Give us a look.”

And Stede, ever the gentleman, agrees.

The entire time by the way, the two crews are looking at each like “what the actual flying fuck are these two talking about??” and “aw, they’re gay.” I’ll leave the matter of which crew is thinking what to the masses.

Also, as Nigel leaves, he stops to barely glance at his crew. “Behave yourselves,” he growls, knowing better. (This, unfortunately, changes nothing, but we’ll get to that later)

In Stede’s room, Nigel is speechless for once in his life.

There’s something so… Stede about this room. The curtains, the books, the hidden compartments. It’s lovely and unique, just like him.

Instead of making fun of Stede, Nigel brings up the matter of rumors with serious concerns.

Did something happen? Was Stede threatened? Or was he just unhappy?

They have a real conversation, which Nigel interrupts to apologize for he treated Stede when they were children. He explains that he was running from something inside himself and he just happened to keep running into Stede. Not that he meant that as an excuse. Of course not. He would never-

-Stede stops him, touching his arm. Nigel feels as though he could be stabbed through the eye and fall into instant death and still feel this warm.

The moment is ruined, however, by shouting. Nigel immediately moves to protect Stede, who sighs and returns to the crew like an exhausted parent.

Nigel is mortified at the behavior of his crew and sends them back to the ship like children.

However, two brave foolish officers try to attack Stede and are immediately knocked out with two swift hits from their captain.

They get the fuck out of there, of course, because Nigel literally just betrayed the British Navy?? Like girl, me too but calm down.

And somewhere between fleeing and accidentally running the ship aground, Nigel asks Stede if he can join the crew and fight at his side.

And Stede laughs. He laughs and Nigel feels cold. He feels as though he might freeze to death. Surely, he deserves it. He’s a fool for thinking someone as wonderful as Stede Bonnet would ever grace someone like himself with sunshine.

“Oh, Nigel,” Stede sighs. “I thought you already had.”

And off they go.

BONUS!!

Nigel being there when Izzy, Fang, and Ivan meet them in the forest. Nigel and Izzy having a little sword fight and Nigel COMPLIMENTING Izzy because his skills match (nay, best, but who’s gonna admit to that) that of British Navy officer’s?? Nigel sulking about it later on and Stede trying to reassure him that he is “very good at swords” which is somehow worse then just nearly getting beaten??

#our flag means death #ofmd au #ofmd #nigel ofmd #stede our flag means death #izzy hands

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bluiex · 9 months

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i put it in google docs to check the word count it’s a bit over 1000 words so that’s fun, but without further ado, i present:

funny things i have read in smut:

“Then he hit the bundle of nerves that fanfic readers are all too familiar with.”

“Luckily he is also a slippery motherfucker.”

“inexperienced in the art of giving giant people hand jobs.”

“Getting cock blocked my a church!”

“I’m not a food (name)”

“unsure why (name) was treating him like he was at the dentist”

“Also when they arrived (name) threw a plushie at them, hitting (name) square in the face.”

“I-uh I wh-uhm I”

“Breed! Breed! Breed! Mate! Mate! Mate!”

“(name) smiled “sure just don’t kill me””

“(name) would probably just scold them and then offer some advice and (name) would probably just laugh and offer to punch (name)’s stomach or some bullshit. “

“She then sauntered her way back to the over-eager man laying in an idiotic position on the bed, probably trying to be mock-seductive.”

“"What? Don't you like what you see?"”

“he let out a shaky breath and stood up straight(gay)”

“(name) finds out where all the missing orphans went, and no, it’s not Technoblade.”

“(very unimaginative for a nonhuman, what were his parents thinking?)”

“it was at that moment that (name) had internally asked himself three questions: am I really considering sex with a dragon? Is this really what my life has come to? Dragon fucking?”

“" Sorry gang I have to take the fattest piss in the whole year."”

“"I just don't think you are gonna be screaming pickles in the middle of fucking-"”

“Angry at (name) for even having the audacity to be alive and breathing.”

““Look, I’m your chambermaid not your chambertherapist,””

““I saw a man purchasing cocaine from another man.” He mentioned offhandedly.”

“"Fuck you" he responded, lowering himself to lay on the monsters chest and stomach.

'That's what your doing'”

“Author: Am eating cucumber”

“(name” smirked with delight, reaching down to poke at his cloaca”

“he got so many new experiences (yes, even beans on toast)”

“”did you just.. call me dude in a romantic way?”

““Were you expecting me to say ‘it’s dishonourable to attack when not ready!’?””

“(names) hands are shaking so much that he might actually shoot one of them in the foot. Which would seriously kill the mood.”

“Is he not also deserving of being a sexy pirate with huge tits?”

“He doesn’t know what he’ll do if (name) pulls away and starts talking again. Cry, probably.”

“sorry i was possessed by an evil spirit called homosexuality writing this”

“im normal *paces around my cage*”

“i need to fuck this himbo.”

“am I saying that gay sex is the solution to relationship problems? Absolutel- *dies*”

“and precisely nothing changes between Pearl and Scott.”

“the real fantasy here is having a shower that's big enough for more than one person lmao”

“not like he was thinking of boneing (name) or (name) anytime soon.”

“(name) has eaten (name) out (wow that's really a sentence I just typed)”

“Tea anon *shakes you like a maraca*”

“because holy hell (name) has got to have some absolutely incredible thighs”

“I know that we all universally agree that (name) has the biggest dick on the server”

“I just think they should fuck and it would solve all their problems. Or make them worse, but at least they’d have fucked <3”

““tiddies plz? May I have a face full of them?””

“(especially after he's been fucked into the next century by her-)”

“When he is satisfyied and (name) is a right mess and a little hard- (name) just leaves lmao”

“You have my utmost respect and love person who suggested it I will give you a handshake”

“Hi I have a headache the size of Texas but that doesn’t stop the Headcanons from plaguing me like visions.”

“(name) just walkin around butt ass naked, dick out :sobs: /pos”

“getting the fucked and bred into the next century-“

“"he's a fucking dumbass jesus christ i want to bear his children"”

“(name) lingered, because he was a simple man, and couldn’t turn down a chance to look at (name)’s ass. In his defence, it was not a bad choice. Man.”

“Not that burying his face in (name)’s tits was a bad time,”

“(name) slurred out a grumbling complaint, so far from any word that (name) was almost impressed.”

“(name), I am going to set you on fire, please.”

“(name) raised his eyebrows at (name)’ choice to not wear underwear. The man was truly feral sometimes.”

“This goes even harder (hehe)”

“Why do school work when imaginary men can fuck in our heads *gets run over*”

“Unfortunately, it covered all of (name)’s actual ass,”

“his eyes relaxing and focusing in on the much nicer view of (name)’s chest.”

““Are you saying that to me, or my boobs?””

“little panting sounds as he tried to remember how to breathe.”

“He needed to scream into a pillow, like, now. And then do other things with that pillow”

“She could talk to him however the fuck she wanted after riding him like that.”

“And my god if anyone saw his back they'd think he got attacked by a bear or something “

“(name)’s sense of time is a little – hah! – fucked right now.”

“resisted that dang mouth”

“(name) has two tits!”

“a worker is giving him a weird look for clearly having boner while staring at some bell peppers.”

“He really was a friend shaped nugget”

““If it's not a booty call I'm not interested,” “

“(name) bussy canonically has the power to unlock peoples closeted inner fruit”

“the glass was so fragile that gay sex was enough to shatter it”

“just waiting for (name) to calm down. (name) also waits for (name) to calm down.”

“and enjoy the ride””

“nor does (name) actually get off on being commanded to fuck. (well, he might. i've never asked.)”

““I’m at a vulnerable time in my species transition and you’re making sex slave jokes?””

““Well, stop being horny for five seconds and let me finish explaining.””

“Gotta have a weird gay thing going with at least one of your friends at all times.””

““Oh no, your dick is broken! I’m prescribing you blow jobs~””

“trying to look calm and collected. like a cucumber.”

“giving it the sloppiest toppy he could in his state.”

-🍞

“Breed! Breed! Breed! Mate! Mate! Mate!” I felt that. LOL

““Are you saying that to me, or my boobs?”” FAVE FAVE FAVE

#bluie gets an ask poggers #long post #fanfic quotes

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