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noa-ciharu · 2 years

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💕 you know it, seisub

I know it, there’s no escaping 😎🤕 tragedy angst drama. Whenever I try to escape, it pulls me back in. I guess this is 1% of how Subaru feels 😔

I wrote this with TB/X timeline in mind but mentioned few what-ifs. Since long and somewhat NSFW, under-cut:

How did they meet?

They met under sakura tree after Seishirou killed some child. From that moment, Subaru’s life was doomed. It could have been their first and last meeting simultaneously if Seishirou decided to remove Subaru as witness. Which is interesting, given it was Seishirou’s most logical course of action as Sakurazukamori. Still, Seishirou probably had deeply subconscious wish for genuine connection and when met with Subaru’s kindness realized that if he can’t love epitome of selflessness and gentleness, then he can’t love anyone (and vice versa, just on subconscious level: if someone as pure and impartial as Subaru can’t love someone ‘inhuman’ like him, then no one can). Basically Subaru asking “but are they in pain?” after Seishirou’s macabre talk about sakura petals and corpses saved and doomed his life in same breath.

Who flirted with who first?

Seishirou did. Whole TB is him flirting with Subaru. However within first weeks of Bet year he was testing the waters, so to speak. Gazing into Subaru’s eyes little longer than appropriate for ‘a vet friend’, putting hand on his shoulder from time to time, lingering touch on arm little more than appropriate, complemented Subaru on his kindness, empathy or omnyojitsu skills/general dedication to work - all little things that border between platonic and romantic intention. As Subaru was receptive to those (and Hokuto saw through it and began teasing), he became more campy about flirting - “shall we set up a wedding date?”, “It’ll be a pleasure to give you a ride” and of course “am i sexy?” - he should have asked Subaru that last one in X.

Was it love at first sight or a slowburn romance?

Seishirou was intrigued by Subaru instantly and Subaru probably enjoyed Seishirou’s company right after they met for second time. But it was a slowburn. Subaru realized he’s in love after exactly one year (probably fell in love somewhere along the way, or even after Seishirou got injured protecting him - was finally vulnerable for once and showed something ‘sincere’). For Seishirou however, it’s a million dollar question whether he loved Subaru or not, but he definitely saw Subaru as ‘special’ by Rainbow Bridge. So slowburn on his side as well, since it took him between one and ten years.

Did they start dating right away or were they friends before things became romantic?

They acted like a couple on some occasions during TB. Subaru never straight-out rejected Seishirou’s advances or ‘love confessions’ so they were sort of dating during that time? But also not at same time. Still, Subaru went to older man’s (who considers him a love interest) house late at night soaking wet, cried in his arms on bed and spent a night there in his pyjamas, all alone in one bedroom apartment during rainstorm - it’s not even a question whether Subaru was that naive or not, but that he was comfortable enough to be so vulnerable around Seishirou. In AU where Subaru confesses his love and somehow wins the bet, they’d start dating right away. In X however, if they ‘reconcile’ (start seeing each other again without resolving anything) that relationship would be romantic and sexual right away. If Seishirou doesn’t bed Subaru on first night, he would within first week without shadow of doubt.

What was their first date?

First date was after they met for second time on train station. Seishirou offered Subaru (fake) concern after he fell flat on his face, coaxed into accompanying to that work case, then talked into half an hour trip to nearby cafe. All ulterior motive to see how to get into his prey’s life. Subaru accepted the offer after minor protest since Seishirou was persuasive. Nothing spectacular happened - they shared trivialities, some minor personal info, Subaru blushed and stuttered due to being unused to someone showing interest in him. Seishirou found out Subaru has soft spot for animals thus used vet occupation, gave Subaru a visit card and said he could drop by anytime. Subaru didn’t plan to at first, but deep down wanted to; then Hokuto found out about this older guy who Subaru went on ‘date’ with and had a field day (was curious and wary too). She had to met him. Thus she insisted they drop by clinic.

What are their favorite things to do on date nights?

In X (or post!TB in case Subaru won the Bet and few year passed) Seishirou takes Subaru out to classy restaurants or secluded expensive bars. All best in class, Seishirou both enjoys things of beauty and quality; as well as showing off. Subaru doesn’t care where they go really, as long as they spend time together; although prefers quiet or secluded places. If they stay in, Seishirou prepares dinner and serves top class wine after meal. Dim light, music playing low, intimate atmosphere and alcohol - all ulterior motive to loosen Subaru’s inhibitions for very obvious reason. Subaru isn’t naive, he knows what Seishirou has in plan but allows that ‘manipulation’; it’s easier to comfort himself with “he got me tipsy so it was reasonable my self-restrain crumbled again” than to admit he was fully responsible for straddling Seishirou’s lap, kissing him fiery and urging for more.

Do they still go on dates after being together for a while?

They do, even if living together. During day it’s mostly Seishirou’s idea: go out to breathe fresh air, grab something to eat, walk around a bit and spend quiet afternoon out. Subaru doesn’t mind, likes change of routine from time to time. Gradually places that they’ve visited during Bet year (Ueno parks, Tokyo Tower etc.) no longer associated Subaru with pain and remorse. Subaru probably wouldn’t allow Seishirou to accompany him on job cases anymore but Seishirou sometimes picks him up afterwards and they spend few hours together outside.They prefer to go on late night dates however.

What is their love language?

Irreparable psychological damage. In TB their dynamic was based mostly on Seishirou giving Subaru just the right type of comfort he needs (physical, emotional or intellectual/mental). Subaru lies to woman about her daughter, is distressed about it and what does he do? Goes to Seishirou. Hokuto tries to rope him into singing karaoke, Seishirou gives him an excuse to run away. Subaru is distressed about Yuya and his condition. Seishirou embraces him from behind and offers emotional/psychological comfort. Even after Seishirou himself got injured, he still comforted Subaru (with rather nihilistic and intellectual sort of way however) how he’s not at fault. Subaru implicitly seeks comfort from Seishirou and he gives it effortlessly. Seishirou’s own motives don’t come out of sincere place (wanting to see Subaru happy for Subaru’s own sake) but it’s probably so he could pride himself on ‘perfect pretense of doting lover’ latter on (his own sake). In X if they got together he’d benefit from Subaru’s non-melancholic mood so that might serve as motivator too. Seishirou would have to be way more tactful and subtle about choosing method and timing to provide comfort because, while Subaru might still subconsciously crave it, he wouldn’t be nearly as receptive to it as he was as teen. Any wrong word would only add fuel to fire. Not too soothing touch could do the trick.

Who kissed who first?

Seishirou kissed Subaru first. In fact, he should have asked for a kiss that day at hospital instead of donuts (damn you Clamp :<). Hokuto herself said Subaru would have done anything he asked so yep, he’d totally give in to the kiss. Subaru would blush, stutter and force himself to lean in but wouldn’t be able to close gap between their lips; Seishirou would take control over kiss then and finally close the distance. If they hook up in X it’ll be after decade worth of tension finally snaps, Seishirou grabs Subaru and finally kisses him. Subaru would freeze first, then try to resist but would eventually give into his own repressed desires.

Who started the relationship?

Seishirou did, because he’s the one who pulls the string in relationship on surface (but Subaru influences his decisions and stances, sometimes even significantly, but he’d rather die than admit that to himself, let alone anyone else). If Subaru confessed love at any given point in TB he’d still be doubtful whether Seishirou actually wants to be with him or is just joking. Seishirou would act like he’s the happiest guy in the world, probably would be even more sappy with ‘love declarations’ and flirting (as part of Bet year, he sees love in rather fictional amatonormative way, as something that’s overwhelming and ever-present; no way he didn’t realize his own emotions). In X it’ll also be Seishirou, after deciding merely observing from afar isn’t enough for it. Subaru might try to resist it but decade worth of yearning and ‘forbidden fruit’ temptation would draw him in like moth to the flame.

Monogamy or Polyamory?

Monogamy. There’s no universe where Seishirou would be fine with Subaru seeing someone else. He didn’t die mad about ‘another man left mark on your body’ eye thing for nothing. Possessive beyond the grave.

Are they/do they plan on getting married?

They can’t legally get married in Japan but Subaru probably fancied marrying Seishirou at some point in TB. No way he didn’t even wonder what their lives as married couple would be, not after Seishirou made so many jokes about it. Then Bet ending happened, Hokuto died and all puppy fantasies became tainted; Subaru despised himself for wanting Seishirou, still after everything. In X they’d have dysfunctional relationship that might even resemble one night stands with occasional dates; also rather short if Rainbow Bridge happens. So no marriage plans. If they managed to not doom own relationship in some happier AU, then ending centuries old feud between two clans by getting gay married would be innovative and very effective solution - there will be no more clan if you don’t have (biological, so powers are inherited) offspring.

Who proposed? Was it a yes or no?

I must resist making ‘he put eye on it’ joke. Seishirou might have wanted to ‘put mark on his territory’ but he did that the moment he met Subaru. If they settle into semi-normal lasting relationship post!X Seishirou might buy them rings as gift for special occasion. Subaru wouldn’t be visibly over moon, but he’d accept them after minor shock; then smile shyly during next week, especially when looking at the ring. He’s see it as another proof of belonging to Seishirou and Seishirou wanting him.

Do they want kids? Who brought it up first?

When younger Subaru most likely wanted kids at some point in life. Then all tragedies happened and kids were last thing on his mind; especially since he’s gay and can’t have kids ‘by accident’. If he and Seishirou got together Subaru wouldn’t want kids because he wouldn’t want them to grow up in dysfunctional environment (plus Subaru would worry how his bad metal state and Seishirou’s job, emotionless demeanor and selfish nature would affect the kid). Seishirou in TB/X timeline wouldn’t want kids, he’s too self-centered for caring about another human being without ulterior motive. Plus even if he by some miracle he accepted love for Subaru, he wouldn’t care for kid any more than “if something were to happen to you Subaru-kun would be upset and that’ll cause me issues as well”.

In some AU where they manage to work out their differences or aren’t doomed they might adopt a kid or two when Subaru is older. Subaru would be really compassionate and understanding with kids, but would lack the firmness and authoritativeness needed from time to time; that’s where Seishirou’s rational firm attitude comes in hand (also he can act childish when he wants to, kids would adore that). So their different personalities might be beneficial to raising kids.

Do they already have kids, together or from previous relationships?

They don’t.

Do they have any routines/rituals in their relationship?

They know when to offer each other space. Not solely because of introversion and need for personal space, but also because of intangible tension between them that would never be resolved completely. Seishirou prefers to spend half an hour alone in the morning; at first he put sleeping spell on Subaru to assure he wouldn’t wake up for some time. After some time they lose efficiency but Subaru puts two and two together and remains in bed for some time (or takes a long morning shower). Seishirou prepares them breakfast in meantime and when Subaru finally shows up they treat all of that as silent topic. Similarly after Seishirou returns from assassinations he’d detect slight shift in Subaru’s mood; reasonable he thinks. Seishirou knows Subaru undergoes serious conflict of beliefs and values whenever reminded of his killings thus he leaves Subaru alone for few hours (since there’s no solution to his inner conflict). Little things to offer each other space and not cause other shoe to finally drop and disaster to occur.

How do they take care of each other when they are sick/hurt?

Seishirou hardly ever gets seriously sick; but in case he does, he’d perceive it as vulnerability and stay away from Subaru. If he get injured during work he’d hide it from Subaru. One time Subaru became irritated since it was obvious Seishirou was hiding something from him (goes to bathroom to change clothes, refused Subaru’s offer to shower together and didn’t try to bed him in days); then saw a five inch long wound on his shoulder (target cut him while he was killing them) and worry overthrew previous irritation. Subaru treated the wound more then necessary and Seishirou had easier time coaxing him into whatever he wants afterwards. Only afterwards did Subaru realize what had happened and reprimanded both for it.

When Subaru was hurt/sick in TB Seishirou stopped by to visit him and brought him gifts (even roses). After act is dropped he’s be less cheesy and campy about it, more firm and direct - “you want to overwork yourself and not shield from magical backlash? This is what you get Subaru-kun”. He’d tell Subaru he needs to take better care of himself and Subaru would dismiss it with “like you actually care”. Subaru might accept medicine or food Seishirou brings him but not the comfort or babying.

How do they like to spend time together?

That depends on whether they’re in proper relationship or not. If they’re enemies with benefits then they spend time doing two things: fighting or fucking. They might go on tension filled dates from time to time. Those end up in hotel rooms if they’re not too desperate; otherwise in back alleys. If they manage to have semi-normal relationship Seishirou would take Subaru on late night romantic dates; which would 9 out of 10 times end in early morning hours. In any scenario they fuck like bunnies. In case they live together, they’d spend time doing mundane everyday stuff: getting groceries, preparing and eating meals, cuddling or being non-sexually intimate from time to time etc. After years of longing Subaru enjoys Seishirou’s company anyhow; Seishirou also finds him as charming company when they’re not fighting, both in terms of appearance and overall demeanor.

What are their favorite non-sexual forms of intimacy?

During Bet year it was emotional and intellectual: Seishirou eased Subaru’s worries, provided comfort (sometimes even physical) when Subaru didn’t even know he craved it, shared his nihilistic, sometimes even apathetic but rational stances with Subaru; ground his anxiety and balance pathological selflessness and idealism with rationality. After they start dating physical intimacy would be added into mix. Subaru would relish in every fleeting touch over waist and shoulders, every hug and embrace, every kiss, whether peck or half an hour making out. After decade of yearning and settling in some sort of relationship, Subaru would find comfort in being peaceful around Seishirou; his mere presence (when there’s no tangible tension) would fulfill Subaru’s longings. Seishirou likes physical intimacy he’s giving Subaru but also relaxes into gentle caresses and massages he’s receiving from time to time.

What are some of their favorite things about their partner?

Seishirou likes Subaru’s kindness and modesty; generally Subaru’s selfless, non-obtrusive and somewhat passive demeanor. Also he’s been attracted to his appearance ever since they met for second time. Sometimes Seishirou would catch himself staring at Subaru while he’s not looking; what to say, he always had a thing for beauty. Subaru’s hands too, because his markings are there; he’s possessive like that. In X Seishirou likes how Subaru became distant and dismissive of everyone but him.

Subaru likes when he’s feeling understood; he used to think Seishirou understood him perfectly and could always provide comfort in a way he needs. But then when they got together again, Subaru began noticing there are some thing Seishirou just doesn’t understand (mainly about Subaru’s love for him). So when he’s feeling understood or valued, Subaru treasures those rare instances even more, even if they’re double edged sword. Once he accepted his ‘sick’ desires and love, Subaru permitted himself to enjoy physical side of their relationship as well. Over time he started liking all Seishirou’s smiles, but especially loves rare real ones. After being together for some time Subaru started noticing Seishirou’s ‘childlike’ side: how playful and stubborn he is sometimes, how he pays interest to things as long as they please him then discards them like broken toys (something Subaru is painfully aware of), how he doesn’t like being bored or ignored, how vain he is from time to time, self-centered and carefree. When there’s no harm from those traits, Subaru finds them endearing.

How do they comfort the other when they are upset?

In TB Seishirou comforted Subaru buncha times; I mentioned it above so I won’t here. In X Subaru often gets into melancholic states. Seishirou knows no amount of verbal comfort would help; actually it’s more likely to add more oil to the fire, since there’s 90% chance he’s directly or indirectly cause of said lows (in other 10% when something unrelated happened and caused Subaru to feel low Seishirou tries to rationalize it to him; might or might not work depending on how patronizing he sounds). So they go on silent walks, rides or trips to cafes. Problems don’t get resolved of course, but tension and low mood does diminish fraction by fraction; Subaru feels somewhat grateful in the end. On rare occasions when something upsets Seishirou, he either pretends everything is alright or avoids Subaru for time being. Even if slightly hurt by such obvious lack of trust in relationship, Subaru knows it’s better not to jeopardize already unstable ‘peace’ they have.

Who buys the other spontaneous gifts?

Seishirou does. Money was never an issue for him, whenever he sees a piece of clothing or jewelry he thinks would look good on Subaru, he buys it as a gift. Subaru both feels uncomfortable by being pampered with gifts and doted on (even if he thinks Seishirou has ulterior motives). If they’re in longer relationship then he might even surprise Subaru with trip or vacation. Subaru would protest from time to time how it’s not fair that he’s not getting Seishirou anything (to which Seishirou would reply that he has special way he can make up for it while pinning him down the couch). Still, he’s brainstorming about gifts. Tie or suit? Seishirou has too many already. Wallet? Too lame. Belt? Subaru has a hunch it won’t be used in way it’s intended to. Book? he’d probably say thank you, put it on shelf and never even touch. Subaru almost gave up but then recalled how Seishirou chooses gifts for him - by intuition. One day Subaru ended up in drugstore near perfume section; one of fragrances reminded Subaru of perfume Seishirou uses; so he brought it by following intuition. Gift had personal touch to it, Seishirou liked it.

What position do they sleep in?

They sleep cuddled only if they fell asleep right after sex. Otherwise they sleep on their sides of bed. During sleep Subaru sometimes snuggles against Seishirou’s back; Seishirou would bolt awake in alarm (he’s always on guard), but then relax when he sees it’s just Subaru; he’d even find cuddling and nuzzling in sleep cute. Similarly Seishirou sometimes crushes Subaru under his weight during sleep. Despite being uncomfortable and woken up, Subaru never pushes Seishirou away; endures it but in odd way cherishes at same time. If Subaru can’t sleep due to insomnia or nightmares Seishirou would wordlessly pull him into his embrace: top of Subaru’s head under his chin, one arm around shoulders, other over waist. They’d eventually fall asleep cuddled.

Do they bathe/shower together?

Yes, but it’s either before or after sex. Or one joins the other in bath/shower for exactly those purposes. It’s usually Seishirou, but he sometimes tempts Subaru by kissing him before going to shower or walking around naked/half-dressed; it works, Subaru either shyly asks if he can join or is so pissed off that he slams shower door open and hisses “alright, you won again. Are you happy now? Be a man and finish what you’ve started”

Do they do anything else in the bath/shower other than wash?

After bed, couch, table/desk and any solid surface he can bend Subaru over, showers are Seishirou’s favorite place for sex. The steam, enclosed space forcing them right against each other, hot water, wet skin and hair, intimacy of ‘helping each other clean up’ - only spices up things. Rough making-out and groping, Seishirou slams Subaru back into shower wall, Subaru wraps legs around his waist, some brief hastily preparation along with sloppy kissing and biting, then Seishirou would enter Subaru and make him see stars. They’d... waste all hot water. They’ll stop only once cold water kicks in. And not even then because they’d take it to the bedroom. No, they wouldn’t care about wet sheets. What decade worth of sexual frustration does.

In the bedroom - Vanilla, a little spice, or kinky af?

Kinky af. In case Subaru won the bet and their relationship progressed, Seishirou would gradually introduce Subaru to sexual stuff. Vanilla at first, then little by little he’ll make Subaru realize his own repressed desires. All until Subaru is collared and tied up one night and Seishirou going down on him from behind. If they get together during/post X, then BDSM relationship is inevitable. Subaru is self-destructive, craves ‘punishment’ for his ‘mistakes’, Seishirou relishes in total domination and control - they’re compatible in those aspects. Seishirou would tie Subaru up, use any and every toy on him, spank, hit and choke him, not let him cum, make him beg and say perverse stuff, cum on his face, degrade and objectify him; and Subaru would crave all of that, but later shame himself for ‘depraved’ desires. Even if none of equipment/toys are used, sex between them would usually have dom/sub undertones. Hardly ever do they have regular sex, it’s always kinky somehow.

For applicable ships - who tops/bottoms?

Seishirou tops. However if they were together for a longer time and were experimenting alot in bedroom, then it’s possible they’ve tried switching at some point too. Still, Subaru loves when Seishirou is inside of him and Seishirou enjoys having Subaru writhing and moaning underneath him, so he tops all the time.

For applicable ships - who is more dominant/submissive?

Seishirou always has control over situation. He could be handcuffed to bed and blindfolded but he’d still be calling the shots. Dom/sub dynamic is one of their favorite bedroom things. Dominance comes naturally to him; Subaru instinctively submits. However, if Subaru is angered or in rarely aggressive mood Seishirou would feel additionally challenged (and turned on by Subaru’s anger) to make him yield by any possible means. It’s be matter of ego and principles, not solely sexual pleasure.

What is their favorite sex position?

Depends on what type of sex they’re having. If it’s long BDSM play then they prefer doggy style or some variation of it; allows deep penetration and asserts total domination; Subaru knows Seishirou has total control over him when he makes him kneel for hours (bonus if he’s tied up, blindfolded or gagged). It turns Seishirou on to see Subaru’s body on display like that; so submissive. For quickies he loves seating Subaru on flat surface (such as kitchen counter or table) and fucking him relentlessly. Or shoving Subaru’s face into a wall and taking him. Seishirou is down for anything that pleases him really. Subaru likes lotus position because it feels more intimate; however that has a flip side. When they’re arguing or being passive-aggressive and hate bang after, Subaru prefers to not look at Seishirou’s face; so doggy style or face shoved into wall. They’ve tried reverse cowboy position and were strangely turned on by it. Yes, it was one of times when they weren’t on speaking terms, just on fucking ones.

Do either of them enjoy bringing sex toys into the bedroom?

Seishirou first brought toys into bedroom (started with butt plug) but after few kinky nights Subaru realized he loves it too; secretly kinky af but he’s trying to deny it. He likes pain and feeling of danger so beside spanking, breath play and cig burns Subaru enjoys impact play toys (riding crops, floggers etc.). Similarly at first he was alarmed when restrained (harnesses, cuffs, ropes and ties) but after time learnt to relax and trust Seishirou, at least in bedroom. Collar and leash were a shock at first (also humiliating); then Subaru was forced to accept how much he gets off on objectification and Seishirou being possessive over him. Seishirou enjoys depraving Subaru off senses (touch -> bondage, sight -> blindfold, voice -> ball gag) or controlling his orgasm. Subaru dislikes the frustration and how desperate he becomes, but thinks it’s worth it given how mindblowing orgasms feel when he’s allowed to cum. All toys meant for penetration are also a yes. Sometimes Seishirou asks Subaru to play with them in front of him; little bashful for that, but one Subaru sees how much Seishirou is into it, he feels empowered and encouraged. Also Seishirou is a top class pervert when it comes to Subaru, he’d probably want to put him into some sexy clothing, such as harnesses, chokers, garter belt or maybe some role-play outfits.

Favorite place to have sex?

Bed or couch but all places around the house are more than welcomed. They like shower too. Seishirou’s only regret ever is that he doesn’t have a bathtub - he bets sex there would be fire. Also places where there’s a danger of getting caught by someone who by no means should see them together.

Most adventurous place they’ve had sex?

They fucked in alley and car before, so semi-public sex isn’t anything novel; Subaru worries about getting caught but exactly that fear spices things up. If they’re seeing each other during X timeline, Subaru would hide that from Seals. Seishirou being a daredevil and caring for nothing but own wishes would want to bang Subaru there too; just so he can gloat privately about it. Nevertheless fucking Subaru in bathroom room away from Seals in the middle of day wasn’t enough for Seishirou’s ego, he had to step up the game. After year of secretly dating Seishirou followed Subaru on his trip to family in Kyoto without Subaru’s knowledge. Managed to manipulate his way through wards, find and corner very shocked Subaru in halfway; then push into his room and coax into having sex. Getting caught by Seals was one thing, own family quiet another; sense of forbiddance and depravity only turned them on more. Despite few close calls they weren’t caught; Subaru simultaneously thought it was one of best sex they ever had (however Seishirou can never know that) and was so pissed off at Seishirou that he prolonged family trip by a week.

How often do they fight? What about?

In case Subaru won the bet somehow and they started dating right away, they wouldn’t fight more than regular couple does. It’d be mostly about Subaru’s self-neglecting habits or inclination to dwell on things that aren’t his fault nor he can fix. On Seishirou’s part, he’d hide all parts of himself that he deems as ‘vulnerable’, and even if Subaru doesn’t generally have issues regarding that, it can bother him if emotional intimacy begins feeling too one-sided. Subaru would have more points he could argue on but probably wouldn’t think his points are valid nor that he has right to get angry for ‘no reasons’ (it’s an AU, canon Bet end and Hokuto’s death didn’t happen).

In canon X timeline however, they’d fight all the time, whether it is directly (argue, fight physically or battle with omnyojitsu) or indirectly (passive-aggressive remarks, silent treatment, temporary breaking-ups). About what? oh well.... list is too big. The thing is, they wouldn’t fight over mundane daily things, financial issues, jealousy/infidelity, sex, housework, need for space etc. - issues would be more fundamental. Major clash of life views, total lack of trust on both sides, being distant, Seishirou only doing what he wants and being cruel on purpose (not to mention being an assassin), lack of honest communication and of course - past Subaru could never forget. Not even if they spent rest of their lives together would Subaru forgive Seishirou for Hokuto’s death. There would always be sparks between them, tension will always exist; anger Subaru accumulated over years would unleash in moments of passive-aggressive fights; Seishirou would do or say something that’d make him finally snap. Seishirou wouldn’t allow to be attacked like that, he’d fight back instantly (maybe even before Subaru snaps) so maybe better question is how they make up afterwards. Any way to avoid disaster is if they’re separated for few days.

Have they ever broken up?

They broke up in TB vol7. In case of enemies with benefits relationship in X, whenever Seishirou subconsciously senses he’s getting too close to his ‘prey’ or Subaru did something that caused him to feel something even for a second, Seishirou would put halt to their sexual activities for some time; till he feels like he has total control over both their relationship and himself. Subaru wouldn’t like that pause thing of course, but would have no say in it. Power imbalance.

If they settle into semi-normal yet dysfunctional relationship they’d have thousand reasons to break up at any given moment. It’ll always be temporary however seeing as they’re obsessed with one another. Subaru yearns for Seishirou, after having a taste he’ll have even harder time diminishing those ‘sick’ longings. Having no sense of value nor wishes outside Seishirou (or own self-destruction), Subaru would be lured back to Seishirou like moth to the flame once more. On Seishirou’s side however, he let his ‘prey’ wander once for a decade but it’s not so clear whether he’d let him go after ‘having a taste’. After taking few days to recover mentally (and emotionally, just Seishirou isn’t aware of that part), he’d stalk Subaru. If Subaru doesn’t return to their shared place in few days, Seishirou would no longer merely stalk him. They’d be passive-aggressive with each other, defensive and on guard; they might even fight again depending on what original argument was about. Tension would finally snap - they’d aggressively make out, rip clothes from one another, then have four rounds of angry make-up sex; It’ll be bombastic and full of hate-passion. Nothing between them would ever get resolved - except sexual tension.

Messy breakup, amicable split, remain friends, ride or die or til death do us part?

They canonically had messy breakup (tragic and traumatic one really) and till death do us part. In some happier AU (which Clamp not so subtly said doesn’t exist - so fanfic then) they’d most likely stay together for life; despite everything that happened, two of them fit together. And exactly because of that magnetic attraction would they would always bounce back to one another.

In canon TB/X timeline, it’d be till death do us part, but instead of living happily together till old age (they can live dysfunctionally, but with all those fights and taking into account their abilities (as well as Seishirou’s occupation and heartless nature), tragedy can happen anytime), they’d kill one another. Rainbow bridge scene, case where Hokuto’s spell fails to activate or Seishirou kills Subaru by accident somehow else, Subaru snapping and killing Seishirou in heat of a moment etc. If one dies other will live with gaping void of utter loneliness for rest of his life. That’s what happened to Subaru in canon but if he died instead Seishirou would live with realization that he killed only person he saw as special (’loved’) and that he’ll never get rid of now very conscious loneliness. They might also kill each other during fight or commit double suicide and die in each other’s arms. Tragically, that might be closest to ‘happy ending’ they can have in canon. God bless fanfics 🙏

#I can't tell you how many times I've lost my mind over this bc these types of prompts are meant for normal ships #seisub is anything but #'would they want kids?' - pfttt yea sure #seisub #seishirou sakurazuka #subaru sumeragi #x/1999 #tokyo babylon #thanks for ask!

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that-was-anticlimactic · 3 years

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i’ll leave the pairing and whether it’s platonic or romantic up to you, but 56. “come back soon” please !! :)

"Come back soon" + platonic suki & aang

Suki shuddered, gasping for air as quietly as she could while she stumbled out of her room at Ozai’s beach house on Ember Island.

She crept past Sokka who was slumped on the couch with Zuko beside him—the two such a tangled mess of intertwined limbs that the only reason she could tell what body part belonged to who was because Sokka’s skin was darker. Normally, she would have smiled and chuckled at the sight, but tonight, it only made the sob pulsing at her throat stronger.

Finally, she made it out of the house, nearly collapsing on the porch. Only then did her emotions get the best of her, and she was crying but she wasn’t crying. It was some odd mixture, some strange sound that she couldn’t quite describe. It went on like that until she was hyperventilating, her hands clawing at her chest, pulling away at the fabric. She felt like she was suffocating.

Nights usually weren’t that hard—it was the day when she flashed back the most. Each time the sun's rays shone down on her, when she heard noises in the market, worse yet when she saw people firebending…

Nights were easier, especially when she could relish in the cool air and look at Yue until she was tired. For whatever reason, after Sokka had told her the tragic tale of Yue’s sacrifice, Suki found herself turning to the moon for comfort—even when she was locked away in Boiling Rock and couldn’t see Her.

Tonight, though, something must have happened. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but she had woken up in a panic, desperate to escape from… well, there wasn’t anywhere to escape from, but she needed to get out of the house immediately.

She’d never been claustrophobic, but it seemed like the walls were closing in on her, coming closer and closer and closer and—

“Suki?”

She flew to her feet faster than she thought possible. Standing in the doorway was Aang, rubbing his eyes… his suspiciously red eyes.

“Hey,” she croaked, brushing herself off if only to do something with hands so they would stop trembling. “Can’t sleep either?”

Aang shrugged, his heel bouncing restlessly against the ground. “Can I… can I join you?”

“Yeah, sure,” she replied. “Let’s sit.” Slowly, she lowered herself to the ground this time so she was sitting on the edge of the porch, her toes brushing against the sand below.

Aang sat beside her, sniffling.

“Everything okay?” she asked after a minute. While Suki didn’t know Aang nearly as well as Katara or Sokka, she knew him well enough to know that this wasn’t normal. The poor boy always wore his heart on his sleeve, so it wasn’t that hard to notice that something was obviously wrong, but this silence and metaphorical stillness surrounding his demeanor was eerie.

Aang blinked, shoving his feet into the sand and flicking it around. “I don’t know.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I—I don’t know,” he repeated, narrowing his eyes at the sand and digging his heels into it with more force. “You okay?”

She paused. That wasn’t supposed to happen—she wasn’t prepared for that. Normally, she would’ve brushed it aside—that’s what she was supposed to do, being older than him and all but…

He looked so scared, so exhausted and vulnerable that Suki felt the urge to share, even if it was more watered down than to spare him more grief.

And maybe if she shared with him, he’d feel like he could share with her.

“No,” she chuckled, gripping the edges of the dock so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. “Not really.”

Aang peered at her curiously, tilting his head, as if he were expecting her to lie too. “Oh. What’s… what’s wrong? Is there anything I can do?”

Even when Aang was in the middle of stress and hurt, he still cared for everyone else. It made Suki’s heart break, knowing that the most gentle, caring, compassionate person she’d ever met felt like he had a duty to place everyone else’s happiness above his own.

“Not really, I just… I guess I’ve been having trouble, um…” she trailed off, taking a long, careful breath. “I haven’t been processing my time at, uh, at Boiling Rock well.”

Even saying the name of the place made her shoulders tense and her heart race at a frightening speed.

Simply thinking about the place sent her into an unnatural state of panic. Talking about it was a whole different level of coping that she wasn’t entirely sure she was prepared for.

In the span of five seconds, a myriad of emotions flashed across Aang’s face: confusion, realization, horror, and guilt.

Guilt—it pained Suki in so many ways, seeing Aang’s innocent (and it wasn’t fair that really, they weren’t so innocent anymore, not after all he’s seen) eyes wide and heavy, carrying not only the burden of the world and the burden of a war he had no part in starting, but also the weight of her own personal grief… it wasn’t fair.

(It never was for them, was it?)

Aang cleared his throat uncertainly. “Oh, I didn’t realize… I didn’t really think about how you felt after that… I was so excited that Sokka and Katara got to see their dad that I…”

Suki held back a wince.

It had stung, watching everyone launch themselves at Hakoda instead of her—even at Sokka and Zuko. And she couldn’t be mad, not really. Hakoda was their dad—of course they’d be worried sick about him, knowing he’d been captured and not having a single clue about where she was (aside from vague taunting from Azula).

It was the curse of being a nonbender, the one hardly anyone knew (and that wasn’t fair—not when Sokka and Hakoda were nonbenders too).

(but even that couldn’t push down the jealousy she felt towards Hakoda—he had been there for a day. She had been there for months. It wasn’t a fair comparison, but that didn’t matter when she was left alone with her thoughts.)

“It’s not your fault,” she said, her voice flat but sincere. “You weren’t even there—there was nothing you could’ve done.”

It was true. The life of one measly Kyoshi Warrior wasn’t worth risking for the sake of the entire world. That’s what it’s like, growing up in war, knowing that your life would never be as important or essential as the movement you were fighting for.

She peered at Aang who was scrunching his nose so intensely it had to be painful. If anyone knew that feeling, that feeling of worthlessness but expected usefulness, it was Aang.

“Hey, quite that,” she gently chastised, lightly placing her hand on his knee. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

Aang wordlessly complied, which honestly worried her even more. Yes, she was glad that Aang ceased the physical anguish he was putting himself through by thinking so long and hard about something out of his hands, but she had expected some sort of fight—some protest or joke relating to how he wasn’t actually in pain.

Just resigned obedience.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, simply sitting side by side. Suki watched the night sky, staring at Yue, hoping to forge any kind of connection with her.

“Suki…” Aang finally said, glaring at the sand surrounding his feet. “Have you ever… have you ever thought about what would happen if you took off? Never look back?”

Yes.

She thought about that a lot, what would happen if she just stopped fighting. What would’ve happened if Aang and Sokka and Katara (and Zuko’s men attacking her village) hadn’t convinced her and her girls not to stay neutral in the war. Suki dreamed about being back on Kyoshi Island, swimming when the unagi was away and practicing applying her makeup, stitching the holes they made in their uniforms with the girls.

Life was easier back then.

“Sometimes,” she replied instead, side eyeing him. “Do you?”

“There are… sometimes, I think it’d be easier,” he admitted, voice small. “I’m tired. And I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

He shrugged choppily. “I’m the Avatar,” was all he said.

“Do you ever wish you weren’t?” Now it was Suki’s turn to ask the question that couldn’t really be answered. She had a feeling she knew what he wanted to say, even without seeing the confliction flash across his face and the way he licked his lips.

“Sometimes,” he eventually said, repeating Suki’s ambiguous answer from minutes earlier.

“I can’t even imagine what being the Avatar is like,” Suki stated, and tentatively, she reached her hand out and gently grabbed ahold of Aang’s nearest one.

She held on loosely enough to allow him to pull away if he wanted, but it seemed like he clung desperately to the contact.

Aang’s hands were soft, which didn’t really surprise her since he was an airbender at heart and all, but she could feel small patches of calluses around his palms. His fingers were long and lean, probably longer than hers.

She tightened her grip and Aang gave her a little squeeze in response.

“I like having you around,” he spoke up after a minute or two of silence. “You’re really nice to everyone, even Zuko and he burned your village down. You’re really strong. I’m glad Sokka was able to find you.”

I am too, she thought.

Then, his words hit her: “you’re really strong”. It was obvious with the way he said it that he didn’t mean her physical strength—that was always her highest praise from everyone back home, even when she got out and travelled a bit more. It was always “you’re really strong for a girl” or “wow, you’re really strong”. Always her physical strength. She knew she was strong, she worked hard to get to where she is, but that isn’t what Aang meant, she could tell.

“Not really,” she confessed quietly. “Sometimes I see Zuko with his arm around Sokka and I just see red and want to get him as far away from Sokka as I can. Or I’ll see him spar with Toph and he’ll bend fire and I want to grab my fan and pin him to a tree. Whenever I’m around him, I smell my village burning to the ground. Whenever he bends, I see…” Suki trailed off, shuddering and using her free hand to swipe at the invisible tears filling her eyes. “I see the sun and it’s burning me and it’s grabbing me and it’s—”

Aang squeezed her hand, and the touch was enough to bring her back to the present away from the boiling island that haunted her—following her around as a ghost, always over her shoulder, always plaguing the back of her mind.

“It’s not Zuko.”

“You don’t have to forgive him yet,” Aang told her. “Forgiveness takes awhile sometimes.”

“I want to forgive him,” she said truthfully. “But I’m not sure if I can forgive his people. Or his sister. Especially not his sister. He is nice, infuriatingly nice. It feels like he shouldn’t be. That’s all I’ve ever known—the firebenders will burn you, the Fire Nation will take everything from you. Maybe he did once. But he isn’t anymore. I just don’t know how to change—if I want to change.”

Aang groaned, leaning forward so that his head was almost pressed against his knees (he still held Suki’s hand). “I wish it all made sense.”

“You can say that again.”

“No, Suki. I don’t want to fight the Fire Nation. Does that make me a bad person?” Aang’s voice broke, but he too did not cry.

Oh.

When Suki peered down at him, he looked so young—he was so young—and to think the entire world expected a twelve year old kid to willingly kill maybe thousands of people (or, thousands more. Sokka told her about what happened at the North Pole. Neither he nor Katara had the heart to tell Aang how many fatalities there were then) and then sit down and fix everything while also being the last Air Nomad alive was… well, when she put it like that, it was disgusting.

“I don’t think it does,” she said, and Aang lifted his head, his big grey eyes staring at his in something akin to disbelief. “You’re a kid.”

“I’m the Avatar—”

“You’re a kid, Aang.”

He shut his mouth, eyebrows scrunched while he pondered what she said. “Am I really?”

Those three words broke her. The helplessness, the exhaustion, the resignation Suki heard made her want to hide him away from the world, wrap him up in an embrace so big that he would be sheltered and protected.

“I think you are. Do you?”

“I don’t know. I want to be. I thought I was.”

He stopped, but Suki nodded at him to continue, if he wanted to.

So, he took a deep breath and continued: “Growing up, the Fire Nation was full of friends and familiar faces. Then, they all became blank. Then Zuko joined us and we danced and he became just as familiar as Kuzon once was. I went to school and saw the kids and they don’t know that they’re wrong. And now we’re here and we walk through town and everyone hates me—they hate the Avatar—but they smile at me when I pass and when I wave to them, they wave back. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well,” Suki began, “this sucks. And here I thought life wasn’t supposed to be this complicated until we were older.” Because she was still processing everything Aang had said and it’s so much and she didn’t know how he did this every day. She didn’t know what else to say, there was nothing that she could say to make things better.

Aang chuckled, it wasn’t as full of life as it usually was, but it was still something.

“Thank you for listening, Suki,” he told her, looking at her earnestly. “I know you don’t think you’re that strong, but you’re the strongest person I know.”

Suki snorted. Opening her mouth to disagree, but he beat her to it.

“No! You are! You’ve been through a lot of really bad things. You were in one of the worst places a person could possibly be, and even though sometimes you can’t look at Zuko without seeing the guy who ordered the destruction of your village or the prison guards that hurt you, but you never hurt him. You still talk to him and eat with him and… I don’t know. It makes me think that maybe something good can come out of all of this.”

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

Suki sucked in a breath. “Well, if you really think that—”

“I do!”

She smiled. “Well, then I need you to know that you’re the strongest person I know. I haven’t been around that much, but Sokka tells me stories. He’s told me about how you always make friends with your enemies, or you try to. About how you believed in Toph when no one else did. How you risked the Avatar State for Katara… I don’t know anyone else who could ever do what you do. I’m proud of you.”

That did it.

Aang burst into tears, hunching over as his body wracked with sobs.

Suki didn’t let go of his hand, but she used her unoccupied one to pull Aang into the hug that she longed to give him, holding him tightly and securely.

His free arm found its way around her back, and suddenly Suki felt a couple of tears escape her too. She was never a loud crier, something she was thankful for, but she didn’t pull away when one of the few that fell hit Aang’s skin and for once, she wasn’t scared that he’d notice or hear.

The two of them sat there for what felt like hours, his head buried in her neck and her cheek resting on the top of his head. They clung to each other, wordless and messy and vulnerable and real.

They held each other until Aang’s sobs died down, his voice rough and cracked.

“Thank you,” he croaked.

“Thank you,” she replied.

Then, Aang coughed, a harsh and angry sound.

As much as she didn’t want to, Suki let go of Aang (and his hand) and stood up. “I’m going to get you some water,” she told him before he could worry that he did something wrong. “You sound like you need it.”

Even still, as she started to walk away, Aang’s eyes widened and reached out, grasping her wrist so tightly that his nails were digging into her skin. “Suki…” he began, voice cracking. “I—“ he cut himself off, lips quivering.

Gently, Suki pried his hand off of her. “I’m not leaving, okay?” she whispered, and she meant it.

She felt Aang nod against her chest and she pulled away.

“Come back soon.” He spoke delicately, carefully, but that didn’t prevent the grief from seeping through his words.

Suki bent over enough to give Aang a quick kiss on the top of his head, before crouching so she was at eye level. “I always will.”

When Zuko woke up the next morning, he walked outside to meditate and found Aang and Suki coiled together on the porch, her hand draped protectively over his chest and his hand intertwined with hers.

He woke Sokka up, and the two sat with them, waiting for them to wake up.

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petition to let friends platonically kiss each other’s heads for comfort 2k21

but uhhh if you know me, you know i love the suki and aang friendship potential. so, may i present some platonic suki and aang:)

wow this got so long and so angsty i am so sorry haha!

also sorry it took so long, i uhhh got really busy and didn't have reliable service for a couple weeks! i am working on all of the other prompts as well!

101 ways to say i love you prompts

#foliehoe #corey writes:)#corey rambles:)#brooke this got so much angstier than i intended i am so sorry iuyfgiog #and so much longer too i--#i was just going to write like less than 100k and um. this happened #which shouldn't surprise me because i think the zukka one i did first was over 2k words too lol #anyways as always thank you for indulging me #aang #suki #aang and suki friendship supremacy #you can pry that from me #tw death #(just mentions of death! no actual death happens in this!)#i was going to try and use this for gen week too but i couldn't think of what day to use haha #suki has ptsd #i stand by that #tw ptsd

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dreamieofu · 4 years

Text

i’m in love with you

pairing; bestfriend!mark x reader word count; 1.6k genre; best friends to lovers!au, fluff warnings; (?) idk, a cute kiss... also me in my feelings after seeing that mark vlive the other day. summary; you finally notice how much you love your best friend, and on one heart to heart confession night, you decide to tell him just that.

you were sat crossed legged facing mark. honestly speaking, it’s been a few weeks since you’ve properly sat down and spoke to each other. he sat opposite you on the couch, his legs against his chest with arms crossed over holding his legs in place. thick rimmed glasses sitting at the bridge of his nose, as the moonlight reflected off the frames. it was a comfortable silence. with the car lights passing through the living room windows every couple of minutes, made his doe eyes glimmer even more so. it felt nice to finally be in his presence.

“you know, i really enjoy moments like this with you,” he confesses in the darkness, eyes not meeting yours.

the corner of you lips couldn’t help but curve a small bit hearing it. you’ve been going through a hard time; feeling really lonely... but hearing him say such words made you appreciate him that tiny bit more. “me too...”

he looks up at you through his eyelashes. his chin moving forward to rest against his arms, a relaxed smile now expressed on his face. before he closes his eyes briefly. you haven’t really spoken to him after realising how you felt for him. some may say it was inevitable, that boys and girls can’t be friends. and it was partly true for a good few years. until it clicked, and just like those dramatic cliche movies, this spotlight circled around him. mark moved in a new light, and all the things he’d done to you affected you differently. you sulked for days, over how you could let this happen. mark, of all people. the boy who’d give you his jacket when you were cold on some nights. the boy who’d hold your hand when crossing roads. all platonically, for you to wake up one day wanting him to have romantic intentions behind all those moments. it made you feel silly. especially, knowing he’d never feel the same.

you let out a small sigh, head hanging with your eyes tracing the lines of your fingertips. a part of you couldn’t help but want more from him, but you also knew your place. “why’d you stop talking to me by the way,” he interrupted your thoughts. your head snaps up, to find at him already looking at you. you felt your face burn up.

“um- no reason, just... busy.” you didn’t sound convincing enough. you didn’t meet his eyes, for if you did: you’d just speak out your mind. you couldn’t tell him the real reasoning behind your silence.

“i don’t believe you,” his tone more firm, as he let go of his legs. right hand reaching out for yours as your gaze followed his movements. it was normal that you’d hold hands. but the way you could feel your heartbeat hitting against your temples. you really wished, his hands weren’t so delicate.

“i’m telling you, for reals - i was just too busy. not like it matters anyway, you’re twice as busy...” you try persuading. but he just squints his eyes, his other hand goes to flatten his hair against the top of his head in a quick 1-2 motion.

he slowly shakes his head disagreeing. “that’s stupid dude,” he scoffs, “you know, i’m never too busy for you,” the second part of his sentence came out a bit quieter, nearly inaudible. you were slightly taken aback at how forward he was. mark was usually nervous, but seeing him so direct was questioning. he noticed you getting curious at his behaviour, both knowing he doesn’t usually express this type of emotion with you. he watched you slightly straighten your back at his confession, while he raised his eyebrows at your frame.

you chew the inside of your bottom lip. a habit. before hooking your teeth to bite it, thinking. “well- you never really made efforts to reach out to me anyway,” mark lets go of your hand.

“that’s not true!” he laughs, you smile back because you knew it wasn’t true as well. he’d always leave you messages and constantly sends you small things he’d find funny. you drop your smile, watching the way his cheeks held his laugh. watching the shape of his mouth, and enjoying the sound of his voice. you wish you could be brave enough to just end it, and kiss him. but he calmed down. “... really, tell me.” he starts again.

you debated whether or not to really tell him, maybe he’d think it was joke like just now. your mind tilts between ‘just say it, he’ll probably laugh it off too,’ to, ‘tell him. tell him! maybe he’ll kiss you’. so what do you do? turn towards the window, eyes away from him. “maybe i love you,”

the comfortable silence from earlier, turned heavy. you weren’t quite sure what to feel from the quietness, your eyes not daring to look back at him. “i love you too,” he confesses with his voice soft, and you finally meet his eyes.

“i mean, i love you. as in, i’m in love with you,” you repeat. your eyes scanning his face for any lies, any humour. nothing. the only look on his face he had, was a vulnerable one. and you thought to yourself, ‘this can’t be real’.

“yeah. i’m in love with you too,” you just stare at him and his words ringing at your ears, disbelief settling in your mind.

“it’s not funny, i’m being s-serious,” an involuntary voice crack breaks your words, as he frowns. mark moves from his position, his leg now draped at the end of the couch. foot on the ground as he pushes closer towards you.

“let me prove it to you,” he whispers, inches away from your face. his arm held his body up on the side of the couch, as you instinctively held your breath. his gaze locked with yours so intensely, you couldn’t pull away. the way the moonlight brightened his round eyes made you feel small. he was so beautiful. he felt serious though, and you were so shocked to reply. one hand pushed behind you to keep yourself from falling against the arm of the couch. he was slowly making his way closer to you. mark kept pushing toward you, in a slow pace. your legs unravel from their crossed form to accommodate to his body. mark leaning you backwards, as his other hand guided the back of your head to meet the couch. his left hand a pillow as he laid you both down, cautious not to press his body against yours too heavily.

this was new. occasionally you’d cuddle with mark on sleepovers, hug him. but nothing like this, not with him on top of you. “can i prove it to you?”

you really were in disbelief, your hands slightly against his chest to push him back a small bit, your head starting to get light. “mark...” your voice quiet, really flustered. your eyes are quick again scanning his facial expression to find nothing but deep affection. “yes... you can.” the hands on his chest now bunch the material of his shirt, as you feel his lips lightly pressed against yours.

he didn’t move, his lips stayed still. until you relaxed under his touch, your eyes fluttering close as you felt him melt onto you. his weight reminding you that this was real, this kiss is real. mark is real, and he’s kissing you. the gentle kiss broke, as mark lifts his head to meet your eyes again, silently asking you if it was alright. you could read him, a small smile reaches your lips as your hands move from his chest to the back of his neck to bring his lips back to yours. he kissed back with more confidence, his other hand cradling the side of your face angling your lips to kiss you deeper. his lips feeling soft sucking on your bottom lip, the taste of peppermint lip balm. although slightly chapped, he never felt rough. he let out a tiny moan at the back of his throat as your tongue came to contact with his. open mouthed kisses, and feeling his love under the moonlight. never in your dreams did you imagine you’d be kissing mark, let alone him having the same connection as you. he pulls away, breathing a little heavy as his eyes stay barely open. his glasses almost falling off, before he scrunches his nose to bring them back up. his lips still grazed upon your own as you whisper, “since when...?” he lightly chuckles, lifting himself from you slightly. his body warmth missing. “since... a year ago,” he confesses, a smile now playing on his lips as he thinks back. but you’re quick, getting up from your position almost hitting foreheads with him. you both now sat back at a sitting position.

“are you serious?” you scorn, eyes narrowing at him, “why are you lying?” “i never lie to you,” he speaks in defence, the smile on his lips now bigger, his teeth showing your most favourite smile on him, and he does sound sincere. he licks his lips as he reaches out for your hands. he closes his eyes pressing a lingering kiss to the back of your fingers, “serious. i’m in love with you,”

you relax under his tone, eyes closing listening to his words. he’s in love with you, just as you were with him. “will you be mine?” he mumbles still holding your hands, eyes locked with yours again, searching for answers. you sigh, chewing back a smile. heart soaring, “of course. i’ve always been yours anyway,” you tell him, taking your own hands to hold his face. god, were you in love with this boy.

#ahhh i cry #mark lee scenarios #mark lee imagines #nct mark scenarios #mark lee oneshot #nct mark fluff #nct mark imagines #nct mark fluf #mark lee fluff #mark lee x reader #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct fluff #nct imagines #mark lee soft hours #nct mark soft hours #nct soft hours

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yukipri · 3 years

Text

Marco’s Bauble Part 8 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Another update for Tumblr!

This work goes by On the Courtship of Monkey D. Luffy on AO3, and I’ll be updating over there tonight as well!

A quick question....do people like reading the updates here on Tumblr? Or now that it’s on AO3, would people prefer to read there? And if so, would you be okay waiting for new updates until AO3 catches up? I’m a little torn because I’m not sure if people are enjoying reading on here, and it’s quite a hassle to format for Tumblr, and it’s getting a bit difficult for me to juggle updating these stories on 3 separate platforms...

ANYWAY, in this update, Thatch has some Thoughts, and there is mention of Ace x Luffy.

Continues off of, and should be read after:

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 1

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 2

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 3

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 4

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 5

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 6

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 7

What are her 3 sizes?

(For the wedding dress, of course.)

"The fuck! Like I'd tell you!" Thatch roars, startling the blue gull into momentarily leaping off the rail, before it circles back, landing again to peck at his sleeve to express its displeasure. Thatch ignores it, because he's fuming.

So apparently all of his and Koala's secret debates over whether Marco intentionally proposed or not were for naught, because here's the fucking evidence. And it comes from Izo of all people, because Thatch would recognize that lopsided handwriting anywhere (the man insists that his handwriting is beautiful in his native language of Wano, but he never quite got used to writing any other way).

And well, if Izo, an unrelated third party but professional snooper knows, then Marco himself must know.

And apparently, they're already planning a wedding.

Thatch feels like an idiot. He'd been defending Marco against Koala, and the lil Revolutionary was a tough opponent, one he'd had to chase out of the kitchen with a ladle more than once when he was tired of her word games. Thatch had insisted, like a fool, that no Marco's not that kind of guy, he really isn't the type to play with people's emotions, he would never propose for a joke, nor would he do it seriously without good reason. It must all be an accident, a little misunderstanding, Marco was just ignorant like Thatch himself was!

Except, apparently he did know and it wasn't an accident, and now Thatch feels completely lost because he doesn't know what Marco's thinking at all. Marco, who's not just his his first friend on the Moby, but arguably his best friend; Marco, his brother over several decades; Marco, who Thatch thought he knew better than anyone, except perhaps Pops himself...

Thatch's also pissed, because if Marco wants to start drama after they all reunite and he's introduced to Luffy, that's one thing (not that that would be great either). But right now, they're still near the beginning of Paradise with almost half the circumference of the world to go until even the halfway point, and Marco is WAY on the other side of the Red Line. If this ship explodes in flames or whatever that batshit Revolutionary brother might do, Mister First Division Commander is completely unaffected, but there are plenty of innocents here (like hello! Thatch!) who would find that pretty devastating.

Also, Thatch was the one who passed on that gift to Luffy! Even if he didn't know what it meant at the time...doesn't that make Thatch complicit? And even if not, Marco's strongest connection here is clearly Thatch. If Marco's actions cause chaos, then the blame and responsibility to clean up the mess naturally falls upon Thatch. Which, he definitely did not sign up for.

Pops, Thatch thinks miserably, I thought I was supposed to show them they can depend on us Whitebeards, NOT that us Whitebeards will fuck shit up for them...

But more than anything, there's a shocking large part of Thatch that absolutely balks at just the idea of Luffy getting married. And it's shocking because Thatch shouldn't feel this upset.

Marco, for all the complaints Thatch wants to hurl at him at the moment, is still a really great guy. A guy who, in literally any other situation, Thatch would be the first in line to enthusiastically encourage, and also to congratulate.

And sure, Thatch knows he has a crush, and his little Seastar's carving out a larger home for herself in his heart by the day, but--Thatch admittedly has crushes a lot. Sure, this one feels different, but...Marco, to his knowledge, has never had a romantic crush. He only sometimes but very rarely even has a night out, and Thatch doesn't think he's ever held a relationship longer than three encounters. He's always so serious, so diligent, so sincerely and whole-heartedly dedicated to Pops and his family. He almost never does anything selfish for himself, and Thatch would know.

If, for whatever reason, Marco is genuinely serious about Luffy...then Thatch should, and would, step to the side, regardless of personal feelings. If this is the path Marco wants, then he deserves it, and Thatch will always be the first to say it, no matter how craptastic the circumstances. And Thatch knows that Marco would give his bride the world.

Without them even having met, Thatch doesn't doubt for a second that Marco would make Luffy happy, till the end of her days.

The fact that Thatch knows all this, yet still feels near unbearable reluctance...says more than he's willing to admit.

And so he decides to avoid thinking about the most obvious reason (his own feelings), and instead contemplates his second very compelling reason: Ace.

His littlest brother isn't so great at being honest with himself, and never has. But this, Thatch feels, isn't just a matter of denial.

The boy literally has no clue.

Oh sure, Ace knows he loves his little brother. He makes sure everyone else knows it too, both here on the Merry and back on the Moby once he opened up enough to talk to people. He's so damn proud of her, yet also concerned for her, while also trusting her with his life and more. It's clear to anyone who sees them together that he absolutely adores her.

But it's more than that, isn't it, Thatch thinks. It's in the little gestures, the way Ace raises his arm up without looking at her and she slides under it, also without needing to look at him. It's the casual way they lace their fingers together, like it's nothing, when they're snoozing out on the deck. It's the way sometimes they have unspoken conversations, just staring into each others eyes, before moving forward in synch to meet in the middle to bump their foreheads together in some secret mutual understanding.

It's the reason why Sanji, for all his extravagant flirting, knows when to shut up and return to being a normal human (and, Thatch grudgingly admits, this applies to himself too). It's why Zoro never lets his gaze linger more than two seconds longer than it needs to (but he'll always take those two seconds), why Nami always looks like she wants to sit closer but doesn't, why Koala hasn't said anything when she's probably usually a much more proactive flirter.

Everyone on their crew can see it, except the two in question.

Ace, Thatch thinks, heaving a huge sigh as he looks down at the crumpled note from Izo in his palm. Little brother, you are so fucking in love.

It might not necessarily be romantically. It's certainly not particularly sexually, if Ace's lack of reaction to Lu's aggressive physical smothering is any indication. It could very possibly be platonically.

But either way, there's no room for Sanji, nor Zoro, nor the girls, nor even Thatch himself...at least, until those two figure that out.

Until then, everyone aboard the Merry is here because they love and respect their captains. No one would dare encroach on something so special, yet so potentially immature, not yet ready to be dragged out to be recognized.

Thatch knows Ace has known Luffy for years, he practically raised her. But he was also away at sea for three years. Luffy was a child when he left; she's an adult now.

Thatch once asked him if she had changed at all since he last saw her (Ace most certainly had, according to Deuce). And Ace looked blank, then horribly confused, before saying No...but also, yeah, I guess. Thatch understands; Ace isn't used to not knowing something about Luffy. And something...something had changed.

That something might very well be the thing that needs to be figured out. And for that, Ace hasn't had much time yet, since reuniting with Luffy. Only as much time as the rest of them, in fact. And they deserve time to figure that out, and as the two captains' loving crew, the ASL pirates have an unsaid agreement to watch over them...at least until they have.

(After that, Thatch thinks grimly, it might be open game.)

But of course, there's also the question of Luffy herself, and as much as she's the heart of the ASL Pirates, she's also an enigma. Thatch, for all that he adores her and honestly wants more with her, genuinely has a hard time imagining her as anything but clueless as someone's romantic partner (he's carefully not thinking about anything sexual). It very well may be that the whole "figuring out" that she and Ace have to do...ends up being nothing. And that's fine as well.

Either way, as much as Thatch loves him, there's no way that any of them here on board the Merry will stand to let Marco shatter this delicate...whatever it is that's going on between their captains, that the rest of them are so patiently respecting. Even if it ends up continuing indefinitely.

As strained as it can feel at times, they're comfortable like this. There's the little spark of joy when Seastar gives him a little extra attention, a little burn when Sanji kisses her hand, but comfort in the stability that no one will go any further. If anything it's a nice little spice to their daily lives, just the right amount, and not enough ruin the dish so to speak. This is fine.

Except, that there's just one teeny little problem...

"What did the blue gull bring you today, Commander?"

Thatch doesn't jump, because he's not an amateur and did realize that the Revolutionary was approaching, but perhaps later than he should have. Damn the kid's good at hiding his presence, and Thatch wonders if he'd have noticed at all if Sabo was being serious.

"Just a stupid request from a stupid brother," Thatch says cheerfully as he turns around to face Sabo. The boy isn't even trying to hide his curiosity, his gaze pinned to Thatch's hand.

Thatch contemplates chucking the letter into the sea, but then he realizes he isn't sure Sabo wouldn't just dive after it, and as a devil fruit user, Thatch wouldn't be able to stop him from reading it underwater.

So he casually uncurls his fingers, watches Sabo visibly perk up--before Thatch opens a black hole in his palm, letting the crumpled paper get sucked into the void.

(Perhaps he should be using his power as more than a secure second dimension pocket expansion, but hey, so far it hasn't been so helpful in the kitchen.)

Sabo sags and sulks, rather cutely, Thatch thinks. "You coulda let me see it," he pouts, looking up at Thatch with an expression uncannily like Luffy's. Fuck.

"Collecting intel, Chief?" Thatch winks, expertly hiding his horror that for a moment, he'd actually been tempted. Little sneak.

"Perhaps." Something slightly manic enters his gaze, and alright, that's nothing like Seastar, not so cute after all...

"Nice try, but it's a personal family thing, can't really share," Thatch says, and it's not really a lie.

Sabo grunts, letting it go, before his gaze flicks to the gull, who still has a beakful of Thatch's sleeve. "It waiting for something?"

Thatch sighs. "Yeah, yeah, my response, which I should probably give..." Because, right, Thatch needs to send a message back to the Moby, even if no, he isn't going to answer Izo's idiotic question.

Which, is actually a fine excuse to extract himself from this situation.

"So, sorry, the response also is personal, hope you don't mind," Thatch nods, and Sabo easily opens the way for him--which, Thatch belatedly realizes, he'd actually been blocking. Scary, little Chief, scary...

"Sorry, didn't mean to pry." Sabo sounds genuinely apologetic, and tips his hat at Thatch as he passes by, and Thatch inwardly heaves a massive sigh of relief. "I'm working on it, but I know I can get a little...pushy, when it comes to things that involve my baby brother."

Thatch continues to walk away.

But inside...

Oh. Yikes, he thinks.

Thatch is in the privacy of the currently empty men's sleeping room beneath the deck, and has just finished writing and giving instructions and bribes to the gull when the hatch creaks open.

"Thatch, we're in trouble," Koala announces as she stomps down the stairs, making her sneaky opening of the door rather pointless.

"I noticed," Thatch says dryly.

Koala pales. "He didn't break any of your toes, did he?!"

"What."

"Well, you're a cook, you make food Luffy likes with your hands," Koala shrugs. "Just wanted to make sure."

"What the fuck."

"I don't think he will! You're Luffy and Ace's crew, and you're a Whitebeard pirate, but..."

Thatch groans. "I already thought your Chief might be trouble, but holy shit I didn't know he was that batshit."

"He might not be!" Koala sounds defensive, but it's not particularly comforting. "He's usually reasonable, kind of, but since his memories came back..."

Thatch throws up his arms. "So, how'd he get it out of you?"

Koala flushes. "I didn't say anything!"

"Sure."

"It's not my fault that Sabo's a damn--!"

There's a loud knock, before the hatch flings open, and Ace pops his head in. "Hey Thatch! What's for snack--"

"NOT AGAIN!" Koala cries.

At the same time, Thatch shouts, "IN A SECOND!"

Either way, the hatch slams shut with a, "SORRY!"

Thatch and Koala stare at each other with their hearts beating uncomfortably rapidly.

They slowly heave a slow sigh of relief as the tension drains.

"I really need to apologize to Ace," Thatch mutters.

"I really need to work on my Observation Haki," Koala groans.

"HEY THATCH, I WANT A SNACK," Luffy shouts, and Thatch and Koala's heads whip around in horror, only to sag with relief at seeing that Luffy's not in the room, but only for a second--

--because after that second, a mermaid's crashing through the hatch, ripping it from its hinges as she slams, hatch and all, into Thatch's chest.

The room fills with dust and debris, and there are shouts outside.

Koala gingerly peers into the wreckage where Thatch is now buried in the wall, a terrified blue gull perched on her shoulders peering alongside her, its claws digging through the fabric of her shirt.

"We're fine," Thatch coughs, peering down to make sure he'd successfully caught and shielded Luffy from damage, even as he peels himself from the wood. Luffy seems unharmed, though her eyes are wide; she clearly hadn't expected to do quite this much.

"...Armament?" Koala asks, noticing how the back of Thatch's hair is black from where it's fanned around him.

"Armament," Thatch agrees, keeping the entire back of his body coated until he's safely pulled himself and Luffy, still in his arms, away from any sharp wood.

"Sorry, Thatch," Luffy says, not particularly apologetic, if anything sort of curious. She peels herself back from his chest, scritching her cheek while looking down at what was once the hatch to the mens room that had shattered between them. She then reaches back to tug at Thatch's black locks, and oohs when they fade back to auburn.

"No worries, just make sure to make it up to Deuce and Usopp when they have to fix this," Thatch sighs, before grinning, letting his arms fall away from Luffy once he knows she has a secure grip on his shoulders. He then begins carding his fingers through her hair to make sure no splinters got in, and likewise dusting off the front of her vest, taking care not to let his touch linger. Luffy nods frantic agreement, more like rubs her head into his palm, and Thatch feels his heart skip a beat.

Koala sighs.

"Hey Thatch, what's this?"

Thatch blinks, then inwardly curses.

Luffy's holding Izo's crumpled piece of paper. His control of his power's still shoddy, and it must have accidentally spat it back out in the commotion.

Please, don't be able to read that, he prays. He luckily doesn't have much confidence in Luffy's reading abilities.

"It says 'what are her three sizes.' What are those?"

In the background, Koala slowly raises her fist.

A few days later, Marco's scouting when a blue gull rapidly approaches him.

Delivery! it squawks. Delivery for you, Boss, and don't show Izo! Don't show Izo! Don't show Izo or the bread man will be mad!

Thank you, noted, friend, Marco responds, and catches the note from Thatch in mid air.

The gull trills acknowledgement, then wheels away to rejoin its brethren, while Marco changes course for the nearest island, a safe forest haven in Pops's territory, still a ways away from the Moby. It's uninhabited, save for the wildlife, and it would be good to land once before returning home anyway.

Marco lands lightly on the tallest and oldest tree on the island, from where he can survey the island of pure greenery, and the endless blue stretching beyond. The branch he's chosen looks deceptively thin, but he already knows it can support his human weight, which is why he shifts, passing the note from his claw to his hand before completing his transformation.

Marco frowns. The other Commanders (and to be honest, the entire crew) have been acting a bit strange recently, but for Thatch, who isn't even on board with them, to also be in on it...

True, this may or may not be related to that at all. But still.

Marco feels like he's missing something.

Marco, Thatch's message starts, and Marco already knows it's going to be serious because it didn't start with a jibe at his appearance.

Marco, I think I'm actually serious about her. Thoughts, brother?

Her, meaning the Ace's little brother, the mermaid girl.

If Marco remembers correctly, in Thatch's first note back to him, he'd written, She's stolen my heart, I think I want to marry her.

Marco had assumed Thatch was joking at the time, or just light-heartedly flirting, as he always did. Marco's used to hearing Thatch spew these kinds of words, and he'd taken it to mean that the girl's exceptionally Thatch's type, but hadn't thought further.

The words had made him remember a little trinket he'd had stored in a chest at the back of his closet, one he'd received from an elderly couple on Fishman Island around two decades ago...

But that's not important now, Marco thinks, focussing on Thatch's message.

In all his years of flings and casual relationships and jokingly asking ladies (and some gents) Won't you marry me...Thatch has not once asked for Marco's opinion. He's certainly had plenty of opinions himself about whether someone would be a potential good match for Marco, which Marco always ignored. But Thatch has never asked Marco about matches for himself.

Thatch really is serious.

Marco finds himself slowly smiling. "Finally, you sap," he murmurs, though no one hears him but the other birds in the trees around him.

He knows he ought to think more about what to say, but the answer is so obvious that Marco takes Thatch's note, and carefully tears the paper so that his brother's words aren't damaged. Gently tucking Thatch's note into his pocket, Marco pulls out a pen for the remaining small blank strip of paper.

Shortly afterwards, two birds depart from the island, in opposite directions: one, a phoenix, wings burning cyan against the clear skies, and the other, a blue gull headed to Paradise.

Part 9, things start Moving as Sabo confronts Ace.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! And again, please do let me know if you actually like reading the story here on tumblr or not >.<;

As always, any comments are immensely appreciated and help motivate me to create more for this AU! ;A;

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

#OnePieceMermaidAU #One Piece Mermaid AU #Text headcanons #Thatch #AceLu #genderbend #I'm feeling really burned out in terms of posting schedule as expected #juggling Patreon-Tumblr-Twitter-AO3 is a bit much #so I'm trying to decide what's going on the chopping block bc rn it's my sanity ^ ^;

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fe3h-incorrectquotes · 3 years

Note

.... Sincerely pls. Ashe/Hubert headcannons maybe? 🥺 HUBERT literally has no supports with anyone outside his house like he doesn't even awknowlage them being there but.... I really .... I crave him maybe being fierce to him at first and then softening as he realizes Ashe's loyalty is very real. Maybe even talking about them defending each other in battle?? Can u tell I have ideas but no direction- 💙💙💙

OKAY I FINALLY DID IT, I FINISHED THIS, SOMEONE BE PROUD OF ME

ALSO BE PROUD OF THE TWO ANONS AND @shortbread-otaku WHO HELPED ME OUT

First off, the headcanons that weren’t mine:

Hubert reads tales to Ashe, and they're both in a warm blanket and are cuddled up together. Ashe often falls asleep on Hubert, but Hubert doesn't mind. In the morning, Ashe makes Hubert's favorite breakfast and coffee, every single morning. And before Hubert leaves to do work, Ashe always wishes him a nice day with a smooch on the cheek. (Anon 1)

I think Ashe stands out as one of those ambitious characters who try their best to improve, in just about every aspect of life. Seeing as Hubert is constantly monitoring everyone else, Ashe could easily be on his radar. (Anon 2)

And I know that it is definitely a point of debate how much people like Edelgard and Hubert had to do with Lonato's rebellion against the church, it is also a point of connection between the two characters. (Anon 2)

When Ashe is sad Hubert will use warp magic to surround Ashe with cats and other cuddly things. (@shortbread-otaku)

They'd be kinda like Robin Hood? As Ashe has the lock pick skill and Hubert definitely knows how to break into things, They'd steal from the rich and give to the poor. Ashe despises stealing, so Hubert always gives him a file of information he gathered to assure him the person they're robbing is evil. (@shortbread-otaku)

Hubert read old tales of Knights because Ashe would also ramble on about them and get embarrassed when Hubert stared at him blankly. (@shortbread-otaku)

And now for my own, which became very ramble-y but honestly I’m kind of proud of how they turned out:

Going off of the point of Hubert being connected in a way to Ashe through Lonato's rebellion, Hubert would probably want to check up on Ashe after, but very subtly. He's not like Byleth who openly comforts him or Catherine who encourages him to find answers, but he keeps an eye on him. Of course, this has benefits to him, too - if Ashe openly shows disdain toward the church after that point, he could be of use in Edelgard's plans, something Hubert would be very aware of.

Though eventually Ashe would notice Hubert - he slips up and doesn't hide as well as usual, and Ashe approaches him. Hubert, being the introverted goth he is, would try to flee as casually as possible. Ashe isn't super confrontational, so he'd let it go until Hubert slips up again. And that's when a conversation actually happens, likely in the greenhouse. Hubert isn't super interested in plants, but he knows something about which ones are poisonous. It isn't Ashe's favourite conversation topic, but he knows something of poisonous plants as well, thanks to Lonato.

Hubert waits for Ashe to mention Lonato - and doesn't have to wait long, Ashe brings up his adoptive father fairly often, even just quickly mentioning him when Hubert asks who taught him what he knows of botany. Hubert offers his condolences (which sounds something along the lines of what he said to Byleth, though a little softer because Ashe is not their emotionless teacher) and asks him what he knew of Lonato. Ashe recounts some personal stories, to which Hubert asks him what he really knew. His goals, his plans, his hopes and dreams. Who was Lonato as a person, and what was he aiming to gain from his rebellion? And Ashe realizes that he learned the most of his adoptive father in his dying moments - the moments where he fought against him and saw him die, but for what? For his son? To make a statement?

Needless to say, his first actual conversation with the Black Eagles' resident vampire leaves him with more questions than before. Questions that eventually lead him to seek out Hubert, realizing that Hubert seemed to know more than he was letting on (it seems that way because he absolutely does). I'd like to think that his search for answers is what eventually drives him to join the Black Eagles, realizing that Edelgard's ambitions, once revealed, seem to align with Lonato's. And maaaaybe because he's come to enjoy Hubert's presence, despite him acting like a cryptid half the time.

Ashe's ambition, as one of the anons said, is something that Hubert would definitely pick up on. Something that he admires, maybe, or comes to find comforting. A steady constant within the change that war brings. So even if it means reading through half-true books of the knights of old approved by the church, because that's all that can be found in the monastery's library, he'll help Ashe to grow as a person and a fighter. And maybe point out where the books fabricate a thing or two. But maybe not, if it means Ashe looks at him like a hurt puppy, realizing that what he's aiming to be is a distant fantasy.

But... maybe Hubert doesn't have to crush his dreams of being a knight like the ones in his stories. Obviously because more knights would benefit Edelgard, from a purely logical standpoint, because he does not feel anything personal toward Ashe. He is grateful for his service to Lady Edelgard, and glad that he joined the Eagles, but nothing more. And he only smiles when given some of the food Ashe has cooked to be polite. And only checks up on him in the training grounds because Ashe is so nice, he'd accept gifts without a second thought, and they could easily be poisoned. And it wouldn't be of any personal concern to him if Ashe were in the infirmary, but losing a knight (especially one as dedicated as Ashe) even for just a couple weeks would be awful, so he keeps an eye out. For logical reasons.

Goddamnit, Hubert, your reasons aren't logical anymore, they're personal.

Ashe is, putting it bluntly, a little oblivious. Sure, he notices Hubert hanging around him more, but it must be because he wants to see his growth as a knight and make sure he's training often enough and such. And Hubert just appreciates the time and effort he puts into cooking (and that it's not Dorothea who cooked it), that's why he smiles. But he doesn't do that for anyone else ever... so Ashe must be overthinking things. Right?

Not right, Ashe, he likes you.

So, with Ashe being oblivious and Hubert ignoring his feelings, they'd need some sort of push. Something like, say, getting stuck cooking together, thanks to Dorothea suggesting it to Byleth. And as Ashe makes little suggestions on where Hubert can improve and tells stories of cooking with his family, Hubert just ends up blurting it out. Not intentionally, of course - he'd planned to either wait until the war's end or until discussing it with Edelgard, but some instinct takes over, and instead of waiting and thinking it over and rehearsing some big speech, he just comes out and says how he feels for Ashe.

Of course, Ashe reciprocates - and has a much easier time saying so. No overthinking his affections, no discussion with anyone else. Ashe is honest and to the point, both things Hubert likes about him, but he's also incredibly genuine. His affection for people, whether platonic, romantic, familial, or otherwise, shines through in everything he says and does, especially his confession.

Anyway yeah I got off track at some point but I really like this ship now and am considering writing supports for them so uh yeah :)

(Also I’d usually run this through Grammarly first but I don’t feel like fighting with a computer right now so I apologize for any mistakes but hope you liked the headcanons!)

#rarepair asks #ashe x hubert #hubert x ashe #ashe ubert #hubert von vestra #fire emblem three houses

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nikibogwater · 3 years

Text

Bogwater’s Guide to Writing Platonic Relationships

Have a seat, dears, pour yourself a mug of cocoa, and let’s talk about writing for a bit. Specifically, writing emotionally intense, compelling relationships that are completely devoid of any romantic tension.

“Niki, those don’t exist! The only relationships that are truly intense and compelling are the romantic ones! Everybody knows that!”

*gently bonks you on the head with my magic scepter* NO. This is a common misconception that is perpetuated by media and especially fandom culture. And it stems from this bizarre idea that emotional intimacy must always equate with romantic intimacy. I have no idea where this idea got its start, but if you ask literally anybody who has experienced real, genuine friendship in their life, they will tell you it’s absolute nonsense. Just because you’re not doing the kissy-kiss with someone, that doesn’t mean you’re not emotionally intimate with them.

“But I don’t want any emotional intimacy without the kissy-kiss! It’s boring!”

Yeah, so, there’s a reason platonic relationships in modern media often feel less interesting than romantic ones, and it’s precisely because of what I said above. Media producers and many fic authors are skittish about showing platonic love with the same level of depth and emotional intensity as romantic, so it often ends up being somewhat watered down and simplified, to the point that it becomes a less interesting relationship. The only thing this does is perpetuate the idea that any and all emotional intimacy immediately implies romantic attraction (it does not) while also devaluing the very real importance of genuine friendship/familial bonds.

“Okay, but what if I just like romance better?”

That’s your personal preference, and that’s okay! Everybody has their favorite genres and tropes that resonate with them more than others. My personal favorite is Family, Found or otherwise (with a healthy dose of Hurt/Comfort on the side), but I can totally understand if romance speaks to you more. HOWEVER. This does not excuse writers and other content producers from low-key asserting that romantic relationships are objectively “better” than platonic ones. Hard fact of life: Nobody needs to experience romance, and even those who do experience it do so in different ways. But everybody does need to have emotional connections with other people through the bonds of friendship and family. Believe it or not, romantic love is not a universal experience. Platonic though? Everybody knows that one, and everybody needs it to be happy. To devalue it as a whole is to impose a toxic mindset that forces people to experience relationships in a very narrow and restrictive way.

Okay--*steps off my soap box and kicks it to the side*--now that we’ve established that friendship is important and should be given the same value that society gives to romance, let’s talk about a few ways to write intense and compelling platonic relationships!

Emotional Intimacy:

I’ve talked about this a lot already, but just in case some of you are confused, emotional intimacy is just when two people have a very deep familiarity and understanding of each other. They understand how the other’s mind works, and feel comfortable opening up to each other about their own stuff. Obviously, this is very important for any relationship, platonic or romantic, but writers will often limit such familiarity between characters to the romantic relationships. The first step to writing an interesting friendship is to not do that. Show that your platonic soulmates understand each other and are vulnerable with each other. Here are some easy ways to do that:

Character A knows all of Character B’s personal preferences--likes and dislikes, including small things like food, flowers, music, etc.

A can finish B’s sentences for them.

A is willing to talk about their feelings when B asks if they’re okay.

A and B trust each other and know the other always has their back

A and B will occasionally reference events in their shared history and even have inside jokes

A will seek B out for comfort when they are upset.

A and B almost never miscommunicate--they know what the other means when they say something, and will immediately notice if the other is acting strange.

A and B can communicate with each other silently, via subtle looks, eye movements, or gestures.

Selflessness:

To quote a grossly over-marketed Disney franchise, “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.” This is the simplest and also most accurate definition of love I’ve come across, and it is universal to all kinds of relationships. So in order to make your platonic relationship compelling, you need to show that the characters are willing to make sacrifices for each other--even big ones. Make sure this is a mutual exchange between both characters, because otherwise you risk making the relationship look a bit toxic. Here are a few of my favorite examples of selflessness between friends/family:

Character A willingly puts themselves in harm’s way in order to protect Character B.

A is always ready to drop what they’re doing and come to B’s assistance.

A and B regularly do small favors for each other without being asked.

A is always mindful of B’s needs and makes sure they’re taken care of.

A and B always do their best not to hurt each other, either physically or emotionally.

A is openly very worried whenever B is in danger and stops at nothing to help them.

Affection:

This is the part where most writers balk when writing platonic relationships. “They can’t touch each other!!! That’s sexy and weird!!!” No, it’s not. This idea that any and all signs of affection are exclusive to romantic relationships is toxic, and we need to wipe it from existence. Obviously there are different levels of physical intimacy, and some absolutely are exclusive to romantic relationships. Here’s a list of No-Gos if you want to keep a relationship completely platonic:

Kissing on the lips/mouth/neck.

Gazing deeply and silently into each other’s eyes for long periods of time for no other reason than to simply Gaze.

Doing the Do or otherwise touching each other in an explicitly sexual way (I feel like this one should be pretty obvious. Also wth guys, that stuff is grooooosssssssss 🤢)

Honestly those are the only ones that I can think of that are always exclusively romantic. Everything else requires pre-established context in order to be taken as such. So here’s a list of affectionate gestures that are totally safe for established platonic relationships!

Little forehead/cheek kisses.

Hugs--yes, even prolonged ones. Sometimes friends/family just want to hold each other for a while, and not in a sexy way.

Holding hands.

Leaning on each other.

Playing with each other’s hair or gently petting it in order to offer comfort.

Sleeping next to each other when circumstances require it (and neither of them makes any fuss over it)

Saying “I love you.” STOP MAKING THIS AN EXCLUSIVELY ROMANTIC THING, PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS PURE IN THIS WORLD!

Touching foreheads (my personal favorite of the lot!)

Maintaining prolonged eye-contact during moments of sincerity and communication, especially if Character A is trying to tell B something important.

Sweet little smiles, or other such soft looks of fondness

And many other gestures that I don’t have time to go over in this list.

Tip the First: When writing platonic affection, be sure to bear in mind your characters’ personalities and physical differences. For example, if Character A is significantly bigger and heavier than Character B, they probably wouldn’t be tackle-hugging B, because that would risk seriously injuring B. Different personalities also have different levels of comfort when it comes to physical affection. If you’re writing fanfic, it helps to revisit the source material and observe how the two characters interact with each other. And remember: just because two characters aren’t physically affectionate with each other, it does NOT mean they don’t have a deep and meaningful friendship. Also bear in mind that many people have different dynamics with different friends simply due to the way their personalities fit together. Not all of my friendships look the same, and it’s not because of insincerity on my part--I just have different interactions with different people.

Tip the Second: If you want the gestures of affection to really pack a punch, use them sparingly. Save your long, warm embraces for when the two characters finally reunite after a long separation. Have Character A take B’s hand only when they can sense that B is frightened and in need of reassurance. A “First Platonic Hug” scene can be just as sweet and feelsy as a “First Kiss” scene if you do it right! Also, don’t be afraid to talk at length about how a gesture of affection makes a character feel. Describe the warm fuzzies that bubble up in their chest when their friend/family member gives them a hug, wax poetic about how grateful they are to have said friend/family member in their life. Taking time to explore and dwell on a certain feeling should never be strictly reserved for the ones associated with romance.

And when in doubt:

Observe the professionals. Here are some fantastic platonic relationships from various pieces of media that I take tons of inspiration from:

Frodo and Sam from Lord of the Rings (especially in the books)

Jim and Toby from Dreamworks’ Tales of Arcadia series

Din and Cara from Star Wars: The Mandalorian

Lilo and Nani from Disney’s Lilo and Stitch

So in conclusion:

Listen, I get it. Romance is exciting and cute and sexy and very important in its own right, and society likes to beat us over the head with it these days. But I cannot impress on you enough just how vital platonic relationships are to living a good and fulfilling life. I am who I am today because of the family and friends who have helped me grow. Please don’t disregard it, whether in your writing or in your own life. Cherish friendship. Acknowledge the depth of your platonic feelings for someone. And writers, please don’t be afraid to express those feelings in your work. If we let friendship and family die, I can assure you, any potential for healthy romantic relationships will quickly follow suit.

#niki rambles #writing #fanfiction #long post

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lovelyhxsie · 4 years

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Analyzing Hosie Both Together and Seperately (1/?):

[note: other shippers might deflate moments that have occurred and even suggest that this ship is more friendship/sisterly, but that’s to be expected. all of us shippers are pretty bias when it comes to our ship, so i am not judging. aside from that, i will uses specific points from other ships as a way to emphasize how hosie works. meaning that i am not deflecting other ship moments, but merely using them as a different perspective. i respect all ships and apologize if i say anything wrong.]

1. Camera shots:

The videographer/s who is/are in control of the camer, do a magnificent job at capturing our hosie moments. Why? While yes, we watch Hope and Josie provide interactions, spoken words, and emotions that make us swoon for them, we have to acknowledge how we see that and situations that make us love them.

A cameraman/woman’s job to create the feeling of what the writers want us to feel is how the scene(s) is/are shot. So, why does the director feel the need to have scenes up close to Josie and Hope when they stare at one another if Hosie isn’t at all romantic? Because the way these scenes are shot, it gives the scenes depth that Hosie’s relationship might run deeper than just a friendship. The slowmo and the constant back and forth from one to the other Like, gaaaaAAAYYYYY.

2. Chemistry:

The outright chemistry that Danielle and Kaylee absolutely have in general is beyond amazing. Their easy going flow of actions with each other help bring out the emotions that Hosie has within each other. In other words, when they communicate, joke around, hangout, and simply enjoy each other’s company, it radiates off of them and is easily seen on Hosie.

How does chemistry work in terms of Hosie? First and foremost, the bEST chemistry within Legacies will always be, and I mean ALWAYS be, between the twins, because the sisters have a whole bond the will always be deeper than the others. Period. We love powerful sisters. Anyway, that’s not what we’re focusing on because Hosie is our focus. So, for these two, there has to be a structure for a relationship to work between characters. Especially if they’re both a prime character to the story, show, or movie.

What is the romantic chemistry? Romantic chemistry obtains the value of attraction, a pull that brings one person to another. The thing is attraction comes in all types, but it varies from person to person. Specifically there are four factors of attraction that displays key romance. They are: Physical attraction, Intellectual attraction, social attraction, and emotional attraction. Now, these can all lead to a great platonic relationship; however, that happens when it’s normally just one of these keys (it can be all four, bur the likelyhood of that is 3/10; it’s rare). Romantic relationships are intimate and usually exist with the presence of three or all of these types of attractions—emotional attraction being the prime essential.

Hope and Josie immediately cross off 3 of those keys. They are intellectual, social, and the big one...EMOTIONAL attraction. Now, before you wonder why I didn’t add physical attraction, it’s between there is and yet there isn’t. But it doesn’t mean Hosie won’t get it written in to be more emphasized. There are episodes that highlight each of the attractions I stated and I will continue to explain and provide examples the further I go on, but for now lets go to our next point. Yeah?

3. Klaus’ Approval:

Joseph and Candice have admitted to loving Hosie, and if Joseph was to approve anyone for Hope, it’d be Josie.

That’s it. That’s-that is the big man giving the people his approval for his little wolf. SO LETS EAT ICECREAM AND SOB ABOUT HOW HOSIE HAS APPROVAL FROM KLAUS MIKAELSON.

4. Stares + hand holding:

So obviously these two are not the only ones who have their moments with handholding and stares. At least each ships has had one moment of that, but I will state that Hosie has a strong overrule when it comes to stares and handholding. Really it’s the stares that get us, but I will explain both holding of the hands and their stares. Also, emotional and physical attraction does come to play with these (the physical attraction is small but it does play an important role when I get to it).

Handholding really only occurs when it comes to spells that they both do when the other needs help. So, while their handholding isn’t out of desire or could be considered as romantic, there are other ways with how they could perform the spells. Josie doesn’t need to siphon magic through holding hands with Hope, but she does anyway and it’s just a thing that Hosies have fallen in love with and I can’t argue with that because it’s adorable. There have been specific moments with their handholding that has more physical attraction compared to the others.

In the alternate universe when it’s Lizzie’s second wish, after Hope comes to the school, Josie is instantly infatuated with her. When they leave the school, if you pay attention, Josie and Hope hold hands (rather tightly and flirtatiously) showing physical attraction. An addition to that physical attraction, when they’re at the Mikaelson boarding school, Hosie goes to the couch. So, when Lizzie looks in on both of them, they are both obviously flirting, but it’s their hands that works it charms onto Hosies. THEY ARE BASICALLY CANON IN THE ALT. REALITIES. Oh, the second time Lizzie checks in one them, Hope’s hand placement on Josie’s thigh is pure...oof. Chef’s kiss. That is physical attraction because it shows desire of them wanting to have the other’s touch, but it hints a bit of sexual attraction, so yeah. The downside of these though is that they’re all in a different reality rather than their actual world, so zero stars. But don’t let it deflate the idea that it could happen.

The second major factor of pure physical attraction that was shown occurred specifically in episode 7 of season two when Josie took Hope’s hand in hers. This is when you add in the camera shot, and both the physical and emotional attraction. This moment itself held its intimacy. Why? The shot focuses on the gentle hold that Josie takes when she grabs Hope’s hand. It had to have a meaning for it to be worth getting its own scene. Not only is it seen, but the emotion behind provides the value of the intimacy. What is the emotion? The emotion is comfort, security, and care. So, while those portray the scene as simply platonic, when analyzing the purity of this, it is in fact more than platonic. They hold hands until they break the contact when they go in for a hug. The level of physical attraction here is not purely because they wanted it (or maybe they did) but it was to give sincerity that Josie was showing. She held onto Hope to say she was there for her and she wasn’t leaving, nor did she want Hope to leave. All spoken without using words. It’s also really gay and lots of people expected them to kiss because Of their close proximity...so if you got that idea (even if you don’t ship them), then it was shown to be a bit more than friends.

Now, moving to the stares. Oh the Hosie stares. How much gayer can they be? Like? Listen, these stares are not only shown more than a few times, they occur quite a lot, but each of these stares share one thing: an emotional attraction.

The amount of emotional connection Hosie have in their eyes run for miles and miles. The emotions are felt through their eyes when they stare. Each emotion can be felt when you look in their eyes. Happiness, disappointment, hurt, guilt, worry, care, and genuine love (whether it be friendly or more). Each of these have been expressed by their eyes. Thus, connecting them in the style of soulmates and slow burn. Seriously, both seasons have expressed and emphasized on the looks greatly which brings us to question what the reasons are if they aren’t meant to have their own relationship storyline?

Going back to episode 7 of season two. The moment Hope stated she missed Josie, the pain she was feeling was displayed as tears threatened to fall. They’re fully on display when she tells Josie that if she continues to bring more pain to her, that she wouldn’t stay. When the camera turns to Josie, it’s clear that she too had tears but for a different reason. Her reason being that she wanted Hope to know she was worth holding onto. That she cared and was upset to see Hope in the way that she was. It made the scene beautiful and developed what could be an upcoming romance.

When Josie and Hope shared their own moment after Josie admitted to Hope about her crush, it really gave a strong leap to Hosie rising. Especially when Hope gives Josie a longing stare after asking the girl about crushing on her. There was pure admiration and a glimpse of reciprocal feelings (of course the answer that explains the look she gave is in episode 6 of season two). Not only did it give a statement but it left that teasing sensation that we hate, yet desire because its telling a story that is slowly dropping answers to our questions, so I’m not against anything that is happening in the show for now. In return, Josie practically looked back at Hope in the same manner with the same emotions. This moment gave us love and timidity that was heartfelt and warm. It was cute and created question whether Hosie would happen or not.

One more prime example I will use is episode 15 of season two. When dark Josie decides to fight against Hope, the moment Josie came back for a mere second. The look in her eyes when seeing the tribrid was filled with worry and unsureness. Hope when she notice Josie Josie, her eyes contained concern and hope. She knew that Josie was still inside, and was fighting back. Maybe not enough, but enough to ensure she was there and trying which is what helps build their connection. Again, this is emotional connection and it is the element that a relationship has to have for it to build into more depth.

I understand that there are more scenes, but one, there are so many that I cannot go over because it would extend this way more than it already it, two, I only picked the stares that provided the most meaning and value that added to their relationship. These were prime scenes that I absolutely think is a great way to slowly iniate a relationship.

- okay, that is the end of part 1 out of how ever many of these it will take to get my point across, but please keep in mind that this is only my analysis based off my observations and understand of relationships. they’re also theories which means what i believe could happen might not. i wanted to provide description for those who might not understand fully as to why hosie would be great romantically. there’s so much to talk about and yeah. anyway, thanks for taking the time to read. :)

#hosie #hope mikaelson #josie saltzman #hope x josie #josie x hope #legacies #theories #my own thoughts #i got bored #hosie endgame

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clementiinefraser · 4 years

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Bonjour/Hi!

First of all, I want to take a second and show appreciation for all of the characters who were set aside or not appreciated enough. I’ve been here since the beginning and I saw them come and go with a heavy heart. There were so many good characters, but they were always left in the shadows. If you’re still around and playing one of those forgotten muses, just know somebody loved them.

I am not being hypocritical. I brought my fair share of negativity and bad behaviours. I joiend with a faceclaim that turned out to be highly problematic and took an awfully long time to change things up like it truly ~mattered~. I did my fair share of bubble roleplay (sometimes it was more like by default than by choice) but I did it and I’m not proud of it but I have the self-awareness to admit it. I chased after faceclaims too. There was a time where I focused on potentially romantic threads and neglected platonic connections. I didn’t participate enough in the events. I didn’t open my mind wide enough to reply to starters that maybe were too out of character for my muses, but still deserved attention. I should have messaged other people.

I should have tried harder. I always promised myself to do this. I was foolish enough to think that replying to one or two open starters would work. I was fooling enough to think that leaving supportive tags under my replies would work. I know now that was stupid. As someone who joined since the true beginning, I should have made new people feel welcome and appreciated instead of focusing on the fact a starter was not fitting my muse enough and without plotting it felt odd to reply. Making new people feel included and appreciated: that was, is and always will be the duty of everyone in a roleplay group.

Still, even when I was not posting, even during my hiatuses, I always kept an eye on the dashboard and I saw those forgotten and set aside characters and read their tasks and starters and interactions. I loved them all. I believe every character in this group deserved to be put on the same pedestal as that very specific handful of special muses that got too much praise for questionable reasons.

I have never stayed in a group for so long. The truth is, I’ve wanted to leave for a while, but I always had reasons to stay. Whether it was because of characters I loved or my own characters I hoped to develop, I could not bring myself to leave just yet. I felt like if I stayed, maybe some issues would get solved and this group would reflect on the ideals it has set for itself. Transparency. Inclusivity. Warmth, and so on. Again, I know for a fact I was not active and I should have devoted more time for this group. I apologize for all of the abandoned threads along the way.

Whether it’s about cliques, bubble roleplay, undeserving praise, unfair treatments, this group has had issues like any other. Except, they never really got resolved. Instead of addressing it publicly, instead of making it clear that the voices of those who had enough courage to call out issues were heard. Instead of openly and sincerely acting on the issues, things were brushed under the rug. An ooc warning every now and then, free passes for a handful of people, sudden unfollows. The issues were not solved, they just kept getting worse.

Granted, I have never gathered enough courage to speak up. I have never gathered enough courage to ring bells. So to all of those who actually did speak up but were silenced, I’m so sorry. But I’m very proud of you still. You deserved so much more. You deserved to be heard, to feel included and to feel appreciated. You gave proof, but you only faced a closed door.

Yes, proof. Multiple people coming out and voicing their worries about similar issues. Multiple people leaving suddenly. This is proof. I completely disagree with using a degree as a justification to why one can pretend they never did anything wrong or take the blame off their shoulders. As I have mentioned quite a few times, I am a historian. I am a full time research assistant. I, too, love a good research assignment. I love searching for proof of a phenomenon. I love understanding said proof, and said phenomenon. And the proof is right here. Nobody can blame their college classes for the fact they refuse to admit their flaws, their mistakes and their lack of judgement or action. If anything, a true researcher would have the reflex to admit they did something wrong, they made a mistake or they have to change their minds because they found out new information that disagree with their belief on a topic. This is part of any scientific methodology. And changing your mind, when you have proof, is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of transparency and integrity. Especially when the proof is right before your eyes.

How come nobody came and called out the issues sooner? Maybe it is because no action has truly been taken. Maybe it is because they knew it would be useless. Maybe it is because they felt like nobody cared enough about them and their contribution to the group. Maybe it’s because a minority of people blindly praising an admin team like they could never do wrong speaks louder than a majority of members trying to show something is off.

Serious actions need to be taken. Serious changes need to be made.

As long as nothing is done, I don’t want to be a part of group that claims things they never truly put into action. Cliques, bubble roleplay and worshipping a handful of ships are one thing, but claiming to be diverse while most of your diverse muns and muses are excluded is a whole other story. I stand by the people and the characters of colour who were ignored, set aside or accused of things other people did without consequences.

I wish I could have been more active and given all of you guys the love you deserve.

Thank you to everyone who interacted with Clémentine, Sapphire and Karyanne. Thank you to those who might have supported them from a distance and we never truly talked, ooc or ic. I’m still thankful for this group because I met amazing people and I interacted with amazing characters. I’m still thankful for every interactions or connections, small or big. I’m still thankful because, for a while, it was a safe place and a safe escape. I don’t really have hard feelings against any of you. I’m just disappointed that we’re reached this point.. The fact nothing was, or has ever been, addressed publicly, the fact the pages were updated oh-so quickly like everything needed to be erased, the fact the dash moved back to normal as if nothing happened... This is not being transparent. This is not showing you want to change. This is pretending everything is fine and hoping people forget.

Solutions are still available. Find an admin team who is truly transparent, who believes their members and who is willing to take actions when needed. Yes, I believe changing adminds would be the best solution. The fact that two of them stepped down, probably to avoid taking responsability, is quite suspicious. The one remaining is still a huge part of the problem. Make efforts to be more inclusive. Stop focusing on endgame ships, focus on all of the amazing friendships that could blossom instead. Don’t drop muses because they didn’t find a ship within a week. Don’t facechase. Don’t deny the proof. Now is not the time to ask people for what is wrong with the group, because at this point, it is only rhetorical.

The best solution is to close the group and keep interacting with your ship partners. That way, you can worship the same handful of people and you can be blinded by a few members praising this group and refusing to see the problems. But the thing is, people might join again. They might join because they believed the promises of inclusivity. They might join because nothing was addressed publicly. They might join and face walls if their character is of colour, if their character is different or too original, if their character is not seeking for ships. They might face the same problems as everybody who left.

Lead by example. And, right now, the example you are giving is one of cliques, ships, lack of transparency and borderline racism. We’ll say it like it is.

Still being a part of this group, as it is currently, is being complicit of a narrative that goes beyond cliques and ships being more important than genuine connections. I don’t want to support such a thing.

Until then, I wish everyone well. I truly do! I met amazing people here and whether we still talk or not, I really liked you guys. The creativity, the amazing characters, the everything. There were so many good things, but there are so many bad things too. I don’t want to set the blame on anyone specifically. This is not a witch hunt. If the shoe fits, then you will know. I still wanted to express myself because we all carried a piece of that blame and we all need to acknowledge it and act on it rather than closing our eyes and keep on keeping on like nothing has ever happened. I hope this group changes into a healthy, inclusive and welcoming place where everyone and every characters are loved equally. If it happens, then I will happily join again if I am allowed to (because, well, I’d understand if this statement was too blunt). Or, at least, I will look back on my time here and be happy that changes were finally made.

I know this was long. I needed to take this off my chest. Thank you for the opportunities. Thank you for giving the hope that this could be a different place. Thank you to those who cared about inclusivity and diversity.

Take care. Treat people (and yourselves) with kindness. I love you guys and I’ll miss you. Go watch a Barbie movie, will you? It’s for self care purposes! <3

Laurie 🧡 🍊

#(( i guess this is my unfollow message if it's not clear enough! ))#(( i wanted to be transparent! ))

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blarhiv · 5 years

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Pre-Debut Fan on Shipping and KM

Guys,one wonderful Anonnie decided to bless us with so well written article.So,please,read it <3

Anonnie,thank you for sharing with us your thoughts!

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BE WARNED VERY LONG SHIPPING/KM POST AHEAD!!!!

First of all, I just want to clarify that I’m a KM supporter. By my current understanding and my own personal definition, this is to say that that while I believe in the possibility of these two individuals being in a real-life relationship, I am at peace with the reality that it is also conceivable that they are merely very close, wonderful friends. I will get to KM a bit later, but I first want to go through some general commentary on the statement of the fandom in regards to shipping first. I’ve tried to be as respectful as I could and so, things have gotten quite lengthy indeed.

PART 1: Shipping and Fandoms

Shipping Wars

My first point of major contention lies in shipping wars—in quick and easy summation, I truly really fail to understand shipping wars.

It doesn’t quite make sense to me that there are individuals warring over which ship is real when, no one in the band has ever confirmed a heterosexual relationship, never mind an in-band relationship. So, why fight about it when we can enjoy the lovely bonds between human beings and celebrate good, ostensibly healthy relationships?

If shippers were really into their “ship” (for lack of better terminology) for the bond between those two people, I feel that it is imperative to acknowledge what complete injustice one is doing by participating in something so meaningless and hateful as shipping wars.(Now, despite my refusal to get involved in shipping wars, I do empathize and understand those combating the wretched comments and criticisms these toxic individuals in the fandom say about undeserving band members. But I still do implore people not to argue over with some of these hyper-volatile, toxic individuals about why their perspective is inherently flawed because these people are highly unlikely to entertain a healthy, open discourse about a difference in opinions.)

And at the point where shippers are determined to evince the realness of their ship, I think their intentions are automatically highly suspect.

Why?

If one is truly trying to celebrate the connection, the supposed love, and the affection of said ship, there absolutely shouldn’t be a pressing need or compulsion to prove others wrong for not sharing the same perspective as yours.

At that point, it becomes less about a celebration of love and more about selfish gratification—whatever it is that may be incentivizing said shipper (And there are, unfortunately, a plethora of self-serving reasons people ship which are not limited to the fetishization of gays/Asians, the determination not to have their dreams of being with a band member to be shattered by their significant other being a female, the egotistical compulsion of needing to be “right”, etc.). And if one is shipping with the genuine intentions of supporting a potentially LGBTQ band member or generally supporting two humans demonstrating great love (whether it presents itself in a platonic or romantic expression), it needn’t matter what the label or status of that relationship is.

So, if one is supporting with selfless intentions and a sincere desire to see members happy, there’s no point of arguing about the “realness” of a ship because at the end of the day, all the ships in the band are real—because they all have honest, genuine relationships with one another as friends. Shipping Real People

This is also a highly controversial subject and I believe it is mainly due to the lack of boundaries people have set in place when they participate in shipping real people.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with real people ships—but only under great constraints and self-monitoring. Most people who ship real people do so because human beings are naturally drawn to and attracted to love—that is to say, people love love. That’s why people enjoy romantic movies and relationships between characters on television shows. That’s why writers like to write about love and photographers take pictures of things and people they love.

However, the problem lies in people who take liberties with how seriously they can invest into a real person ship or how entitled they begin to feel towards someone else’s life.

This is where para-social relationships come into place—through the use of social media, fans are given ultra personal ways to interact with celebrities causing them to believe that they’re connected to their idols despite the reality that it is a one-way relationship. These celebrities do not know you—and therefore, they owe you absolutely nothing in regard to their personal life. And so, I absolutely do not condone writing or tagging or demanding things from any real-life ship (ie. VLives, Twitters, fan meets, InstaLives, etc.) where one could be causing the human being distress or pressure. They are, at the end of the day, real people with real feelings and real lives—and we, as fans or spectators at best, are simply entitled to no components of their life.

I think there are instances that you can comment on a celebrity’s life and have it be a perfectly innocuous encounter. For example, it’s quite alright to appreciate and feel second-hand joy at seeing two people whom one respects and follows as a fan looking happy with their potential partners (as in the case of KM) or commenting supportively on a confirmed real-life couple’s Instagram photos (Justin and Hailey Bieber, Michelle and Barak Obama, Hyuna and E’Dawn, Cara Delevine and Ashley Benson, etc.). Feeling joy at seeing someone else happy or commenting something cute and chill on a real-life couple’s picture doesn’t cost anything nor does it harm anyone. But if you, as a fan, begin to demand things from said people if the real life couple breaks up (Justin Bieber-Selena Gomez, Cole Sprouse-Lili Reinhart, etc.) or you hate the real significant other after one half of a popular ship is revealed to be dating someone else (Zendaya-Tom Holland-anonymous girlfriend), that’s when you’ve got a real problem and you need to reassess what you’re doing. If you are going to ship a real-life ship, do it sensitively—don’t personally bother these people with your unsolicited advice and woes, they don’t care about your ships, they just want to live their lives.

Fetishization and Homophobia

Another deeply problematic that comes with the shipping territory is the fetishization.

There are, unfortunately, many fans that like the idea of a real ship right up until the point there’s a possibility where the members might actually be part of the LGBTQ community. It’s sexy and sensual, a “guilty pleasure”, to imagine the idea of gays, but the actual concept of homosexuality as a real part of someone’s identity is somehow unacceptable to many fans. This is definitely a problem in the Asian music industry.

While girls fawn over the boy-boy interactions on stage, these same young women are equally likely to be disgusted by the existence of actual homosexual men trying to celebrate their love on the streets—and the KPop industry feeds into this by via methods like encouraging fan service between members or the Pepero game.

This is deeply disheartening as there are, without doubt, LGBTQ members in this industry—we may not know them by name or face (aside from Holland), but they certainly do exist. And how sad is it to imagine that the closest to acceptance these human beings will ever attain for their sexual preferences is on stage for the gratification of fans who won’t even support them if they actually come out? If you only enjoy same-sex interactions on stage, feeling repulsion or deterrence in supporting a gay or lesbian idol based on their sexual preferences, you probably have some soul searching to do.

Another thing I’ve noticed is the tendency of same-sex shippers to modify a harmless interaction between members as they make jokes or innuendos that splatter a hue of raw sexual essence onto the moment—this is, in part, some fetishization. We should try to avoid this as gay men are trying to escape the sexualized view a large majority of people have about them.

And KMers are guilty of this—after all, sometimes when a boy says he wants to do his laundry, he really just wants to do his laundry.

So, this is something else to keep in mind.

General Homophobia

How many times have bloggers received comments about how X members can’t be gay or how if X is gay that the anon can’t be a fan of that person anymore? I’ve definitely read several too many in my time and these are all exemplifying comments of people who house internal homophobia.

Unfortunately, the need to explicitly state and prove homosexuality will always be a symptom of the heteronormativity of most societies—and I do understand why it happens and it’s not always a malicious assumption.

What I peacefully and regretfully do not understand are aggressive fans who flagrantly deny the possibility of any other sexuality aside from being straight—these instances really make me suspect these are mainly female fans that can’t stomach the possibility of their idols not being into their gender or are straight up homophobic without any other reason. (That being said, I also don’t encourage any same-sex shippers/supporters to make assumptions about sexualities either. It’s fine to support and to suspect the possibility of a same-sex relationship, but there should always be that margin for error since none of these idols are definitively out.)

Conclusion to General Shipping

TLDR; my basic point in the first part of this ridiculous essay is that, we should really all respect one another as members of a single fandom. And beyond that, we should all respect the people whom we are shipping, taking great care and using our sensibilities to ensure we aren’t making real people uncomfortable.

PART 2: KM

History as a Fan of BTS

So, I just want to clarify that I am a pre-debut BTS fan. I literally read about JM and JK a couple days before they were due to debut and as a huge hip-hop fan, I was immediately interested in their concept. I instantly fell in love with JM’s voice and JK’s multi-faceted talents (and live vocal skills)—that is to say, I was most interested in these two members from the very beginning. As of recent days, I have detached myself from the fandom, preferring to keep a great distance away due to the toxicity and negativity I’ve unfortunately been privy to as the fan base grows bigger and bigger—and it really does make me incredibly sad. I’ve always been into BTS for the music—they were what I listened to bussing up to school as I admired the Cyphers by the rap-line, the gorgeous fluidity of JM’s melodic voice, the deep resonance of TH’s voice, and JK’s talents as a quality, consistent singer despite his age.

And now, sometimes the ship wars and solo stans are louder than the positive members in this community. Luckily, I’ve found a small niche of BTS blogs and KM blogs that have made this experience a lot easier (for KM blogs, many thanks to people like blarhiv, slowlybutobvious-jikook, gaja-aegiya-gaja, chaotic-jikook, singwriteluv, jiminkoo, etc.)

Shipping as a Whole

Now, as for the shipping component. I want to clarify I’m a very selective real-person shipper—I don’t look for mere skin ship or overt proclamations of love or popularity of ship.

Of course, these are initially the easiest features to discern a shippable “ship”, but I’m well practiced in the KPop industry and know these factors between members are virtually useless in discerning romantic interest.

On top of being a selective shipper, I also think it’s safe to say I’m pretty respectful about shipping as I always try to maintain reasonable skepticism and I’ve never commented anything about shipping on any forum that could make the involved individual uncomfortable. With all that being said, the beginning of BTS, I did not see ANY SHIPS that I could’ve deemed suspicious enough to be considered real. They were all just young kids that were trying to pave their path to success and just boys messing around on their early television appearances whilst trying to promote their albums.

And even when YM and TK began to gain traction as the fandom’s decidedly largest ships with some believing them to be “real”, I still didn’t see it—and this is said with utmost respect to their closeness and respect for one another as teammates, colleagues, and close friends.

Undoubtedly, their interactions were playful and adorable, but there was nothing in how they interacted to rouse any suspicions whatsoever. I would view their interactions as commonplace as any other men in regular friendships—with their culture and their age and their jobs in consideration. Again, I never understood people who truly believed in the validity of these ships.

Now, to be fair, I have, of course, also participated in casually shipping a few members for fun too. For example, I thought Sope was cute and I was drawn to VM’s friendship as well—JM and TH were so ridiculously cute and close, it was nearly impossible not to casually ship them. In the earlier years, since I believed there to be no "real" ships, I was on board with other casual shippers but was greatly confused by those who believed the big three ships (YM, NJ, and TK) were actually real.

My View on Early KM

I first started tuning into KM when I saw a particular Bomb clip of JM and JK messing around with a phone app where their voices were autotuned. Whilst JM was laughing, JK just had his face crinkled up with the softest look on his face. I was like, “huh”—but it definitely wasn’t enough for me to begin thinking it could be real.

Since it was one isolated incident, caught directly on camera, it wasn’t nearly enough evidence to make any logical inferences. At that point, I’d just be jumping onto the train of delusion. While on the subject of early KM, I also want to take this opportunity to quickly give my take on this malicious narrative that JK doesn’t like JM—as a pre-debut fan, I’ve never bought into this.

Between JK’s self-proclaimed shyness towards JM’s unadulterated fondness for him, JK’s proclivities to drop honorifics on camera even from the beginning, JK telling JM he teases his hyung because he likes him—I was almost flabbergasted when I first caught inklings of it.

This is such an outrageous vilification and outright character assassination of a young kid in his teens who didn’t know how to deal with his hyung’s affections, despite having always confirmed and reassured JM that he does, in fact, like him.

The fact that so-called fans to this day still try to drive this narrative despite the fact that JK has set fire and gasoline to this toxic roller coaster ride of lies and delusions is actually unfathomable to me. Never mind the exact type of relationship KM have, it’s just so distinguishably clear that JK really, really likes JM judging by the amount of time they spend together and how beautiful JK’s smile is when he’s around JM.

The Shift

Essentially, I casually shipped Sope, VM, and KM at some point—they were my favourites to see interact and I was always cooing over how adorable their bonds were with one another. And if I’m being frank, I was especially partial to the latter two ships because of how attentive and caring JM is to his younger members.

JM’s kindness has always touched my heart.

I find JM’s interactions with people the most fascinating based off the fact that he is just an enthralling, ethereal human being with this gorgeous voice and enormous heart—and for that, he was my very favourite member always.

But, of course, I am a KM supporter.How did this happen?

Well, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head at the infamous back hug at 2015 KBS Music Festival—especially since it was JK being so unusually expressive and forward with his affection. But perhaps this was a cultural thing? I definitely felt some cognitive dissonance as I tried to explain the strange, almost romantic aura of the moment using logic despite sensing that this string of reasoning didn’t sit quite right with me. But again, one isolated incident is a whole lot of nothing in the world of skin ship and KPop.

But as we all know, at this point, we got see KM get closer and see their relationship develop and I was really all for it as I was incredibly pleased by that personal growth in JK as a maturing adult and the joy it conversely seemed to bring JM with this newly matured JK.

JK’s Development

A large part of my transition over from casual to serious “shipper” is actually because of JK. I’ve always viewed him as a talented individual, as aforementioned, but other than that there was certainly other larger personalities that caught my eye quicker—between JM’s big heart, JH’s enormous personality, and TH’s quirks, he was definitely quietly existing in the background when he wasn’t performing. But he really just grew into himself and I think any fan can see that.

There’s all the general ways he grew up, his physique and his facial structure and his height, but more than anything my heart softened immensely when I began to see what a beautiful soul this boy had always had. I’m not saying that he’s not without flaws—because another a huge problem in the industry is the fans’ tendency to idealize their idols past the mortal realm of making mistakes or having character flaws—but anyone can see he’s clearly matured.

The way he treats JM only gets better and better with each year.

And I genuinely don’t feel that it’s delusional to say the way that he treats JM is vastly different from any other member. He is kind-hearted with a dreamy view on the world and he’s good to his hyungs after everything they’ve done for him when he’d been a child, but he’s that in tenfold around JM. To say he doesn’t play favourites when JM’s involved is being willfully ignorant because there’re so many recent examples alone (the way he splashes water on SJ vs. JM, the way he roughhouses other members vs. JM, the way he gives JM a big pancake because of an impending punishment vs. SJ in same predicament, the attentive way he watches JM in interviews over other members, the way he monitors JM's health via food and drink, etc.).

I also want to mention as a disclaimer that these comparisons aren’t made in any type of malicious way or with the intent of discrediting relationships between JK and other members. It’s simply instrumental in understanding why such a large population of non-shippers have been drawn to KM as a potential real pairing versus any other pairing. If everyone stopped inserting their own captions and interpretations of JK’s actions and only had the source material in front of them, no misleading historical content to waylay new fans with a tired and counterfeit narrative, it’s pretty clear that JK displays incredible fondness and tenderness towards JM in a conspicuous manner.

It doesn’t make his relationships with the others any less, it just makes his relationship with JM just that little bit more. It’s not about putting down or undermining the other relationships, it’s just about acknowledging the reality of JK’s obvious magnetism towards JM. If a fan really cares for JK, it’s almost cruel to disregard the fact that his face lights up when he’s with JM (WeVerse picture, JM punching him on the shoulder, FaceTime picture, VLive, etc.) and his voice softens when he speaks to JM (Run episode with JK slating, Run episode playing palm game, Run episode asking JM if he’s ready, etc.).

These examples aren’t delusions, it’s reality—the evidence are quite literally in photographs or videos. As a longtime fan, I honestly and sincerely mean this—JK has become a handsome man in my eyes not because of his appearance (though he’s undeniably good-looking) but because of the way he treats JM and others he cares for. As the years pass by, his heart and soul has become more and more beautiful in my eyes. I can’t attribute it fully to JM, but I can certainly say that my heart melts when I see his interactions with JM—not because I am a shipper/supporter but because as an empathetic human, I am viscerally drawn to humans with kindness in their hearts. The man treats JM so, so well. I know I keep repeating this but it’s just a grave injustice to ignore how much JK cares for JM. Never mind your projected desires and your biases, just look at what’s in front of you and just appreciate that enviable, lovely bond. Even if people will choose to disregard romantic overtones in GCFt or the meaningful lyrics during the times JM shows up in GCFsai or the fact he has the most screen time overall (which is fine), it'd be prudent to at least acknowledge the fact that JM is incredibly treasured by this young man.

JMs Shift

Another thing that made me suspicious was the transition of JM’s behavior as well.

I find it harder to read JM than JK in many ways—perhaps it’s just an introvert relating with follow introvert—but there are differences in his behavior that also made me question things as well.

It’s obvious that JM used to be a little much for shy, introverted JK in front of the camera and that that behavior tapered off as the years went by. I do think a large part of it is due to JM growing up (although I do suspect some part might be due to vicious fans who might’ve hurt his feelings about his personality) and reigning himself in. But even then, he was still visibly touchy and affectionate with JK—just as he is with all his other members—whether he was petting his head, openly calling him cute, or what have you.

In my view, the most telling thing about JM is how careful he seems around JK—something in his behavior feels tailored in a way that’s still affectionate towards JK but in a way not to rouse suspicion even if the body and eyes don’t lie.

I’m not sure if it even makes sense, but I do sense a certain sense of caution about how JM treats JK in the public eye in comparison to JK who reliably wears his heart on his sleeve. He seems to be more aware of cameras and the public eye than JK does. It’s really hard to verbalize, but I’ve sensed a discernible change in how JM treats JK—it’s not bad or worrisome, it’s just different.(Although, they’ve gradually become a lot more carefree this year.)

Time Skip

I don’t want to bore everyone anymore than I already have, but the point of how I became a more serious supporter compared to my origins as a casual shipper is based off suspicious trends and continuous patterns in the boys’ behaviours over multiple years.

Even now, I continuously try to translate the boys’ body language, vocal tone (when speaking to each other vs. another member), facial expressions, and constant mentions of one another as a platonic demonstration of affection. And some interactions are pretty harmlessly adorable, just a little something to wet the lips of any casual shipper, but with the surmounting amount of moments it becomes really hard for even the most logical person not question the nature of their relationship.

KM and Ship Wars

Clearly, the progression of their relationship has been the target of incredible hatred and frustration on the parts of hostile members of other ships and it’s gotten to a point where they’ve resorted to subterfuge to try pilot a plane missing a wing—that is to say, they’re trying to keep an aircraft based on intentional mistranslations, vicious lies, and carefully crafted stories of events that have been disproven afloat.

The incredible discrepancy between what sorts of behavior can be categorically classified as fan service seems to conveniently shift based on whatever is keeping the fragile balance of their dreams alive despite evidence to the contrary.

The moment we try to discount or negate the relationships a member has with another one in the name of a ship, there’s absolutely a problem that needs reassessment—this goes for all fans including KMers.

KM and Coming Out

I want to clarify very firmly that if you are a true supporter of KM, one who selflessly wants their happiness above everything (which includes everything from the potential of KM having other significant others, KM being single, KM being involved in a fling, etc.), you absolutely do not want or need them to come out.

If they do come out, of their own choice and volition, you can happily support them, but you do not need or seek this from them.

And may I carefully remind people that if you want them to come out for the sole purpose of feeling vindicated against other shippers, you’re not a true supporter and you’re in this for selfish reasons. So, if you imagine your first instinct will be an outcry of “I told you so, I’m right” with the express purpose of throwing it in another ship’s face, please evaluate your role and incentive in being a KMer. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or if you’re wrong—all that matters are these incredible boys who inspire people on the daily are happy, healthy, and well. I honestly want their happiness and safety over a confirmation of a relationship any day and I really encourage all supporters to feel this way as well. In a conservative Asian society, it wouldn’t be easy to maneuver as an openly homosexual man. I implore you to consider the occurrences of hate crimes in more liberal countries. It’s not going to be an improvement, only likely to be a far more isolating experience, in a more traditional country with homophobic tendencies as the majority sentiment. So, while I know most reasonable supporters feel this way, this is a reminder to toxic shippers to stay in your lane and stop demanding things from other human beings that owe you nothing—they don’t owe you pictures of WeVerse, they don’t owe you selfies with one another on Twitter, and they don’t owe you a coming-out story to prove your ship right.

Conclusion

To sum up, I’m not saying that KM is real for sure.

No one can know that except their personnel, their friends, and their family—or sadly, in a conservative country, perhaps even just themselves. The point is, we as fans, absolutely cannot know for certain.

And this is mainly why I'm not too concerned or bothered about timelines or specific dates. We don't know and there's no point (for me) to delve this far into the realm of speculation. But to each their own as long as you're not being invasive to KM!

However, I’m not unconfident in saying that if they are not real, the likelihood of any other same-sex relationship in the band is highly unlikely—though not impossible.

I also want to reassure everyone that I love the bonds between all the members and encourage everyone to understand that even if you favour or don’t favour one member over another to realize that your opinion really doesn’t matter in comparison to how BTS feels about one another—they love one another.

And at the end of the day, shipping isn’t so important that we need to fight over it.

After all, if all we’re trying to do is support love, then shouldn’t we be doling it out to?

And with that, I’m out!

Thank you to anyone for reading and keep well and healthy everyone!

PS Thank you very much to Blarhiv to allowing me to use her blog as a platform! This very, very special individual we should all treasure in the KM community!!!❤️❤️❤️

(omg anonnie this is too cute тттт Thank YOU).

#jikook #Kookmin #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jimin #park jimin

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chicagocityofclans · 3 years

Photo

Maxine Vanes → Lupita Nyong'o → Rat Animal Shifter

→ Basic Information

Age: 62

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Born or Made: Made

Birthday: December 28th

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Religion: Deism

→ Her Personality Max has always been secretive and closed off. She has strong opinions and will not let them fall silent nor back away from what she knows is the right thing. That’s normal for most rats but what sets her apart is her elegant stance and gracefulness. Despite being loyal to the Rat Clan of Chicago and having their best interests in mind always, Max disapproved of their secretive ways. Seeing it as obstacles holding them back from making the world a better place, and uniting the supernatural world as it once was before humans became the dominant population. She sees every person for their actions and beliefs rather than assigning them a label based on their species or family reputation. Even with her duties as the Pack Fixer and Cyber Exploitation Officer, she consistently gets involved in conflicts for the good of other species, adamant to use her abilities to help those in need. Thanks to her position she is often able to negotiate nearly every social situation to her advantage. Her stance and headstrong attitude often have her coming to idealistic clashes with Jo, despite both having clear respect for each other and a strong friendship.

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: BOND - Pack Fixer and Cyber Exploitation Officer

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Fashion and Bright Colors

Two Dislikes: Red Meat and Airports

Two Fears: Being Caught and Unknown/Poisonous Frogs

Two Hobbies: Programming/Scripting and Shopping

Three Positive Traits: Elegant, Sincere, Immutable

Three Negative Traits: Secretive, Unabashed, Opinionated

→ Her Connections

Parent Names:

Jamie Vanes (Father): Max does not remember a lot about Jamie, Trudy or Egypt. She tries to keep the tragedy of their deaths and her life as a human tucked away.

Trudy Vanes (Mother): Max does not remember a lot about her mother. She tries to keep the tragedy of their deaths and her life as a human tucked away.

Sibling Names:

Egypt Vanes (Sister): Max does not remember a lot about Jamie, Trudy or Egypt. She tries to keep the tragedy of their deaths and her life as a human tucked away.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Henry Dean (Ex-Boyfriend): Henry and Max had known of each other for years before actually speaking with each other about 5 years ago. There was some fluke with BOND and the two were pulled in to deal with the situation. Had Max known that they would hit it off like they did, she would have sought him out earlier. Henry asked her out for dinner at the end of their case and they dated for 3 years until Henry proposed to Max. Max was still unsure if Henry was the final answer and said no. Henry broke things off soon after instead of giving Max more time. Max and Henry’s relationship was private, Max is thankful no one has ever found out about the two of them or Max refusal of Henry’s proposal.

James ‘Jim’ Montgomery (Something): When Max could not return home because she had no family to return home to, she found solace in Ray and Jim. They were the only ones Max would allow near her as she and Nick continuously bumped heads. Jim is usually the one Max talks to first when she is unsure on a subject before bringing anything to Nick or Mills. Jim and Max had grown a part throughout the years, but she still found comfort in him when she needed it. However, since the RED massacre, Max and Jim’s friendship have taken a turn towards something more. Jim kissed Max during a heated argument 6 months ago which led to them having passionate sex at the SKIN headquarters. They went about their day afterwards and Max gave Jim a few days to approach her but he never did. When Max finally approached Jim 3 days later for clarification they agreed to take things slow. Max has recently started spending the weekend at Jim’s place.

Platonic Connections:

Josephine ‘Jo’ Floyd (Best Friend): Max met Jo only four years after Max was mistakenly changed when Jo was brought in from a rival pack that was abusing their woman. Their pack has always been diverse but for a while Max was one of the few changed African American females; especially one who was outspoken. Jo was a sweet relief, someone else that looked like 16-year-old Max, whose company was mainly Ray, Jim or Ben. While Max was already in training, Jo had just joined and had to start from the beginning. Max took to Jo like a moth to a flame. They were inseparable and still are.

Conrad Kale (Best Friend): Max and Conrad have been friends for years, but their relationship had become a lot closer since Conrad second of RED and started attending meetings. They would sit together and talk after joking about whatever happened in their respective groups. Max was there for Conrad when RED was massacred and when Conrad was promoted to third. Just like Ray in the past, Max thought she was developing feelings for Conrad and wanted to act on them, but Henry asked her out the day before Max thought about making her move.

Ray Hamelin (Old Friend): When Max could not return home because she had no family to return home to, she found solace in Ray and Jim. They were the only ones Max would allow near her as she and Nick continuously bumped heads. Ray became Max's family although she was not blind that Nick is Ray's only family. There was one point where Max was confused on whether or not she was romantically in love with Ray or if she loved the protector he had become of her. Ray and Max work side by side as liaison for their Clan and BOND.

Nick Hamelin (Unknown): Nick has always been hard on Max and in turn Max has given him Hell. Max had forgiven Nick a long time ago for the bite that changed her into a rat, but it has been clear to Max that Nick has yet to forgive himself. Instead of becoming the father and protector Max needed at the time Nick her enemy. Nick had threatened to kill her on numerous occasions. Nick had gone out of his way to embarrass her and degrade her worth. Max had survived his attacks and returned them tenfold. Everyone had ensured her that Nick saw potential in her and was only doing it for her own good, but she knew better. Nick either hated her or was intimidated by her. It took years of going back and forth but they have worked out somewhat of an understanding and friendship over the years. Max knows that Nick still believes that she has not forgiven him and tries to guilt him but Max knows it is Nick’s own way of self-pity and blame. Max cannot define their relationship but she does not hate Nick. She does not care for him either, at least, not in the way she cares for and loves Ray and Jim.

Mary Lang (Friend): Max and Jo took Mary out on the town a few days after Mary’s mom had passed. They helped Mary get dressed up, did her hair, and overall helped Mary become herself again. The three of them are incredibly close but Max enjoys her one on one time with Mary too.

Maya Morris (Friend): Max is not blind, she can tell that Maya looks up to her and sees Max as a role model. Max is flattered and tries her best to live up to Maya expectations. Max thinks Maya becoming friends with Mary and Conrad was a big step in the direction of personal growth for them all.

Achilles Idris (Good Friend): Max was surprised when she found out that Achilles was Jaxson's older brother. Achilles is a sweetheart and Max enjoys his company. They have settled into an easy friendship. There is something off about Achilles but Max had put it off as Achilles settling in and trying to separate himself from Jaxson. Max has her theories but has kept them to herself and imply that she is always there if Achilles needs someone to talk to about anything.

Vincent Kane (Liaison): Max has only recently reached out to Vincent after hearing about the increased hostility between Clan Rat and the human shifters. Max knows getting on the human shifters ‘shit list’ would not be beneficial but no one seems to be listening to her. Vincent and Max have met a few times and Max is hoping she can talk some sense into Jim and Ray for results.

Shannon Harris (Liaison): Max was happy when Ray told her that Shannon will be training as liaison. Max has been going easy on Shannon, helping her with the learning process and giving her suggestions whenever Shannon gets flustered or overwhelmed. They have been meeting outside of pack business for lunch.

Clara Fields (Contact): Max still does not know how Clara got her number, probably was Sam Thompson but everytime someone crosses the line at the Fields Hotel, Max gets a phone call instead of Mary or Nick. Max always helps out without much fuss and gets to the bottom of which rat is messing up.

Churchill Darling (Contact): Max befriended Church by mistake but has yet to end whatever it is that they have going on. Jim has warned her against using Church as a contact but Max is hoping opening another line of communication with the human shifters may be somewhat beneficial.

Lillian Pickford (Contact): Max has exchanged information with Lillian on multiple cases regarding the local supernaturals. Max would not call Lillian a friend but they are business friendly and professional with each other.

Milton Rod Jackman (Contact): Max is Milton’s contact when he is investigating supernatural events. Besides hashing out details or coming up with journalist coverup suggestions, Max and Milton barely talk and keep it strictly business.

Hostile Connections:

Jaxson Idris (Unsure): Jaxson and Max have never gotten along. Max does not know what it is about Jaxson but she couldn’t care less about anyone more than Jaxson. She has seen a change in him lately for the better. She isn’t putting her money in his pot and keeping her distance.

Keith ‘West’ Freeman (Annoyance): Keith is a liability that Max does not understand. If anyone else would have pulled the stunts that Keith had, Nick would have had them by the balls. Keith gets zero sympathy from Max.

Pets:

None

#Max Vanes #Taken #lupita nyong'o

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dansenfans · 4 years

Text

From Dansen fans admin.

This is a collaborative reaction to some (not all as we would be here forever and a day trying to write it down) of our problems with the current storylines on Supergirl. Before we get into that, a word on who helps run the account. We are a varied set of users, but all recognize the importance of Dansen, but also Brainia as representation that not only helps other LGBTQ people - it undoubtedly has saved a life somewhere simply because someone sees themselves represented onscreen. Do not think for a second this is an exaggeration or untrue. The representation is that important and needed. LGBTQ representation is far more than just having a character on TV. It gives those who are marginalized a voice. It gives that child growing up in a hostile environment simply for being LGBTQ hope that their life can be okay. That they aren't a freak. Or they have sinned.

We are from within the LGBTQ community, white, POC and from the heterosexual community (as an ally). So these comments are from a diverse set of people. We all love different characters and even multi-ship in some cases. What we all have in common is a love of Dansen.

What we all also have in common is our absolute horror in not only how the current LGBTQ characters are being used, but how relationships are suffering for it.

Even away from Dansen we are finding the current overall arc of the story extremely difficult, because there is now such a disconnect from characters and friendships.

Let's tackle the LGBTQ and Dansen problem first.

William has as much presence as a tree stump. There is something called the potted plant test, and that basically means, if a character can be replaced by a potted plant in scenes and not be missed, they don't need to be there. William is that plotted plant. So many of his scenes could easily have been done by Nia (who is a journalist after all) or Kelly (who we still don't know if she knows Kara is Supergirl, which under the circumstances is utterly laughable).

There is also something in the screenwriting industry that is writing 101, and by all accounts (according to a screenwriter a couple of us know, and no they aren't in the Supergirl fandom, SM or watch Supergirl), “Show us, don’t tell us why this relationship or friendship should work," is what you should have at the forefront of anything you write.

In other words, if fans are being told, or characters get continually told by those around them why they should be in a relationship, it isn't working.

The premise is pretty simple. You outline you want your character to have a love interest. You indicate who that LI might be. You get casting sorted, have chemistry reads. Consider the way in how they get together to fit the bigger narrative. What you don't do is tie it down that this is the way you have to go, regardless of what the story calls for. If after a few episodes, the chemistry onscreen between a character and someone completely different to the LI you had in mind is so obvious, so powerful, you adjust. You don't try to force the original LI into that scenario. If you then have to justify that LI (in Supergirl's case by having those around continually tell her she should go for a date with William, when she looks nothing but awkward and the chemistry is flat), then you fail on this basic writing point. If you ignore what a lot of fans, media and casual observers see elsewhere, you fail at the job of being a good storyteller.

Supergirl has done both.

Ah but now we head into that territory of Supercorp. Look, we don't ask that people like Supercorp. This truly isn't about that. We aren't a Supercorp account. What it is about is the groundswell of fans who have increasingly seen a crackling connection between Kara and Lena, who had either of these characters been male, would've had them together by now. There are so many direct parallels to other couples, not just on Supergirl but elsewhere (particularly Clois, which fans have plenty of examples about if you look).

But this season, Supergirl took it a step further. The romantic coding that went on in 5a, that had direct parallels to the canon couple (Dansen) on the show to bait fans into watching (and yes it was queerbaiting if they didn't intend to make it romantic because that is exactly what queerbaiting is, and Supergirl has queerbaited now in the worst ways possible) is inexcusable. When you have media outlets, blogs, even non Supergirl fans see this and talk about it (each of us here has someone who isn't a Supergirl fan, but knowing there is a lesbian couple on the show assume Kara and Lena are that couple if they've caught sight of clips) then you have a problem, even if you don't acknowledge it.

The latest hypocrisy of all this is how some fans have tripped over themselves to say how lovely, how romantic it was of William to remember Kara's coffee order, yet scream down other fans who said the same thing as Kara not only got Lena her favourite coffee and food - she flew across the world to achieve that, at a time Kara fully believed the friendship was fixed. To have fans called delusional for it is preposterous. You cannot do that. You simply can't, and this is a prime reason so many fans get angry and upset.

Aside from that, the overtones of why William did the coffee run, it was actually more on the creepy side than friendship side. He even acknowledged his behaviour, with the coffee, the texts and the compliments was overstepping and not respecting Kara by his actions. Some say that's self awareness and bravo. We all argue it is borderline abusive. If your self awareness is such you know your behavior is wrong, and you do nothing to stop or correct that behavior and carry on, then those are nothing more than platitudes. There are examples of people who have been triggered by 5.14 and Williams' actions, and citing why that has occurred as IPV survivors. Melissa is a IPV survivor and if others have been affected by this, we truly worry Melissa has been too, although we sincerely hope that isn't the case. Is that what you want as a fan, even if it is only a possibility with Melissa? Because we definitely don't. No fan should have been triggered from a character like that.

The 100th episode basically turned around and told Kara that she and Lena's destiny was so entwined, that they couldn't live without each other, or they would die for the other. Platonic or not, that is soulmate status. As for best friends? Those of us who are married are all married to our best friend. So many people, whether gay, straight, everywhere in between, say a spouse is their best friend. For anyone saying a best friend doesn't mean they're in love with that person is the worst take, as most of the time the best friend is the partner or spouse. William has barely been in the friend zone, let alone best friend zone.

As for how William is impacting on the LGBTQ and current cast, there is no doubt he is in an extremely negative way. To the degree that Dansen has suffered significantly. Sure we had an emotional scene in 5.07, but we are now at 5.14, so a further 7 episodes in, and we barely have minutes worth of Dansen onscreen time. Last episode was less than a full minute total Dansen time and that's the best it's been in weeks.

Less than a minute! It was approximately 45 seconds for the first scene. 7 seconds (yes you read that correctly 7 seconds) on the second scene.

So this means that while we got nice character development beginning in S4, and to some degree early in 5a, we have had nothing on any note in regards Dansen all season, or Kelly throughout the entire season so far.

This means that we got invested in these characters, we were promised it would develop as S5 went on, to have this thrown at us as the best they can do? Any intimacy has been pretty much nonexistent, (we had more from Sanvers), and we get told that what they have given us we should be grateful for. No-one deserves that sort of disdain as fans. Yet we get told by others that Kara deserves a relationship with William? Save us the hypocrisy.

No-one here is saying Kara doesn't deserve a relationship, but at the expense of others? Lead of the show or not, that is an awful take. Particularly when we have a fundamental relationship with her and Lena, even if it isn't romantic.

If you cannot find balance as a writer to incorporate all of these things, then you aren't doing a good job of it at all. Azie in particular has been given the shittest end of the stick possible. Chyler hasn't faired much better. It is making Dansen now appear forced and lacking depth, and that's even allowing for the build up they gave us in S4. Kelly is a Black Lesbian, is highly educated, has (by all accounts) a loving solid relationship with another woman. All aspects we should be highlighting and applauding. Instead, here we are having to write at length some of what is so wrong for us.

Moving on to another area that was problematic. To have Alex discuss technical details as Kelly arrived in regard her work at Obsidian North, but to hear Kara say to Kelly, "She has never said words like that."

Now this line could have been in jest, but it didn't feel like that, and considering Alex has a PhD in bioengineering, Alex is also an expert in alien physiology, and has used this knowledge in multiple D.E.O. operations. Alex was able to successfully create Blue Kryptonite to incapacitate Bizarro and working with Maxwell Lord, synthesized a cure for Red Kryptonite. She is also an accomplished neuroscientist and xenobiologist. Alex herself stated she could've had a promising medical career as a researcher had she not decided to work at the D.E.O. instead - and now you are saying Alex would never use that kind of language? Come on! That's so unrealistic it would be laughable if it wasn't so awful.

If you are a show who claims to be at the forefront of LGBTQ representation, who claim to be about female empowerment, you are giving us neither of those things. Someone else wrote this (taken with permission from Buddha in disguise on Tumblr).

"It seems we shouldn't ask for justification as to why William is on the show, but when we say the LGBTQ characters are being sidelined, that it doesn't matter one jot how diverse a cast can be; if said cast are not being given credible storylines or screentime, and if we say as much, we have to continually justify why that is the case. We get told to take what we are given. To insist on better, is oppressing the straight characters on the show, often said by CIS men (in some cases CIS women have argued the same). This isn't oppressing anyone, but asking that if we get given relationships, given characters we want to invest in, they get the storylines to accomplish that. Supergirl is failing the LGBTQ audience so badly at the moment. So many have the same complaints it is ludicrous to suggest this is just one section of a fandom or trolls."

The show is floundering. Winn got a more complete arc and closure in two episodes than anyone else so far on the show this season. We might have had 3 or 4 great episodes out of 14 of the 20 so far this season. The rest have been mediocre at best, with no obvious cohesive plot or storytelling.

It is crazy that a Superhero show, that effectively has the freedom to pull in ideas from multiple sources with unique interesting takes that allows, has made it so boring, so full of drudgery that people are starting to turn off in droves. A fandom boycott isn't enough for such poor ratings on some episodes. Having moments in an episode that are good, possibly great, when the rest around it is so poor is destined to fail. 5.14 was another example of that. The moments that were good were enjoyable but the rest was so bad, it is harder to enjoy those good points. To even remember them.

Batwoman and Legends of Tomorrow have both done this far better of late (even if Legends have been a bit problematic with Zari), and the POC and the LGBTQ side of the stories have primarily been handled well. Batwoman in particular has just done an amazing storyline with Sophie Moore. The interesting thing is, a lot of people found Sophie hard to like to begin with. Many thought Kate Kane was better off without her. What changed all that was they gave Sophie an in depth, credible backstory and the chemistry between them grew organically. Fans could see the connection and increasingly yearned for it. They have also just tackled homophobia in families, particularly for POC. All without taking away from other essential elements of the storytelling. Supergirl take note; this is how you write a show that is integrated without hurting either the POC & LGBTQ characters or CIS straight characters.

Now let's just broach the disconnect with characters and friendships.

Because of the fracturing of friendships and relationships has been so extreme (virtually every one has lost all or most of what we had in previous seasons), we have lost core elements of the show. Of course the most obvious is Kara and Lena, but it extends far beyond that.

Alex and Brainy. Brainy and Lena. Brainy and Nia (Brainia is groundbreaking representation for transgender people to show they too can have relationships, but no, we can't even have that). Kelly and Kara (early S5 suggested Kara and Kelly were close enough friends now to talk about presents for Alex). Alex and Lena.

Alex, Lena and Kara, which in the last two seasons have been the powerhouse behind them defeating whatever was going on around them as a team, but still allowing Kara to shine as the Superhero.

All these intricate relationships have gone. Instead we are faced with pairings that feel uncomfortable and awkward as a viewer, so the crux of what made Supergirl work has been lost. We are suddenly expected to be able to feel emphatic and understand completely unheard of pairings when we know nothing about them under those circumstances. Strangely enough, the one new pairing they have achieved this with is Andrea and Lena, because we got a fully fleshed out background, that also helped explain some of Lena's behavior today. The rest feels chaotic, and so far into the season that feeling of chaos should be going the other way. Instead it's increasing.

As we wrote this, the latest media outlet to highlight some of the problems the last episode faced came out.

It might not be a big article or have any real depth, but when The Radio Times wades in, you are beginning to lose serious credibility in media circles. The Radio Times is not some 2 bit media blog that you can laugh off or blame a fandom for.

5.15 promises to have better LGBTQ content, and is tackling a subject that Nicole herself became involved in with the writers. This gives us higher hope it is a better episode overall. We also know Kelly and Alex work together with J'onn, and while it would be great to see them partner up onscreen, we would actually really like just softer Dansen at home moments. We hope it incorporates both, but honestly the way this season has gone we aren't holding out much hope on that.

Last of all. We have seen several people tout that the plot twist is William in fact becomes a villain. None of us like the idea that another POC becomes a villain, but if by seasons end it occurred and so explained his presence (as a tool or high up member for Leviathan for example,) then at least that would give us something solid. But again, to do all this at the expense of all other characters is not what you want to see. Nor do any of us wish to see another POC get killed off if this happens as is being suggested. We would all rather William just disappears back to London to The Times.

The last thing any of us wanted was to be writing this, but collectively our patience has run out. Our disappointment is acute.

While we try to avoid mistakes and edit this, none of us are writers so please forgive any glaring errors you find.

#azie tesfai #chyler leigh #dansen #lgbtq #supergirl #alex danvers #kelly olsen #nia nal #supercorp #Melissa Benoist #kara danvers #katie mcgrath #lena luthor #nicole maines #jesse rath #Brainy #brainiac5

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dulcetcries-blog · 5 years

Text

hello ! i’m really on brand with the whole posting a day and a half later ! below the cut in no particular order are a collection of four people who populate autumn valley ! they’re not very long because i’m still fleshing them out but i’ve added a couple of wanted connections below all of them that will hopefully be some good jumping off points for deeper connections & help build out their stories a little bit !

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of death ( maeve harrow, jack ellis )

★.⁙⁓ kat mcnamara, cis female, she/her, pansexual. ★.⁙⁓ introducing autumn valley’s very own maeve harrow ! she is a twenty five year old manager and a taurus. maeve can be found at hecate’s fire and their favorite autumn activity is going apple picking.

maeve has always believed in the occult, since she was just a little girl.

her father claimed to know the warrens ( who the conjuring is based on ) and she’s always wanted to know more about the things that exist beyond this world.

little girls with wide imaginations oft have a tendency to explore what should be left alone, and mae knows all this quite well.

her dad passed when she was about six and she tried to use spirit boards to contact him.

she was seven when she convinced herself that the board had actually worked, but it was also broken and shoved in the trash when she’d come home after school and had told her entire grade that she’d gotten it to work.

she was a relatively mediocre student throughout school but mae always understood the importance of a good hustle and has always had at least two side hustles running.

when she was a sophomore in high school, she got in trouble for selling canned soda a dollar cheaper than the vending machines. when she was a junior she had graduated to selling whatever fad pyramid scheme her mother had gotten involved in.

they were never particularly wealthy, which might also contribute to why mae always wanted to have some kind of money making scheme going.

funny thing, that feeling of desire; hunger grows deeply in one’s soul long after its been placated in the stomach.

she moved into her own apartment after her mother died about three years ago. mae was the only one who attended her funeral and it’s put some fear in her that she, too, will one day die alone.

she took to hecate’s hearth the moment it opened, always pestering zephyr for a job until they gave her one.

she always desired a place to belong and the readings that they did for her meant the world and what was once considered a stepping stone now a secondary home, one she hopes to be as permanent as possible.

wanted connections:

roommate ⋅ of any gender, this person more than likely responded to an ad mae had placed online and in the town newsletter. it wasn’t a particular long process from the time she met this person to the time they moved in, they clicked well and had a good enough understanding before signing the lease with her.

platonic soulmate since high school ⋅ this is someone that mae was friends with in high school and has maintained an extremely tight relationship with. though they’re not living together ( they tried that once fresh out of high school and it’s safe to say they’ll never do that again ), they are the person that mae considers they’re rock and would fight to the death for.

★.⁙⁓ phoebe tonkin, demi female, she/her & they/them, pansexual. ★.⁙⁓ introducing autumn valley’s very own charlotte james ! they are a twenty seven year old tattoo artist and a libra. charlie can be found at indelible ink and their favorite autumn activity is pumpkin carving. { written by hannah }

charlie comes from a family with deadbeat parents and seven children and if you don’t think that toughens up somebody then you’re damn wrong.

they’ve been working two jobs ever since they could remember, early mornings before school and well into the evenings after. after they left high school, they began an apprenticeship at indelible ink here in town and that’s been their primary source of income for the last seven-ish years.

they still keep up a season job at the briarpatch farms, helping out with all of their fall related activities so if they seem like a chicken with their head cut off some days, that would be why.

while chris takes some care of their parents, charlie wants Nothing to do with them and only really cares about their siblings.

they are their world and charlie will fight for them and their happiness until the day that they die. and if you think that’s some melodrama you are damn well wrong.

they honestly live in a lowkey shitty apartment but they’d rather save their money and scraping by for now is better than living in a nice place and then suddenly having it taken away from you with no warning.

charlie is ,,, extremely scared of stability and permanence, even though they crave it. they’re scared that they’re going to have something nice and all of a sudden it’s going to be gone, like they’ve put all of this work towards a happiness that they can’t eventually have.

wanted connections:

roommates ⋅ whether or not they actually see charlie often is something to be questioned, charlie is a courteous roommate. no major loud noises, especially not past ten pm or before eight am, no wild parties, no drugs, nothing. granted, charlie doesn’t give a fuck what their roommate does so long as they don’t lose the security deposit on the apartment.

friends with benefits ⋅ charlie is terrified of permanence and keeping this person at an arm’s length away is something that tracks for that kind of mentality.

★.⁙⁓ chris hemsworth, cis male, he/him, bisexual. ★.⁙⁓ introducing autumn valley’s very own jackson ellis ! he is a forty one year old mayor and a leo. jack can be found at crichton’s manor and their favorite autumn activity is throwing a halloween party at the mayoral manor. { written by hannah } * business subject to change !

jack has been mayor for the last three and a quarter-ish years and has lived in autumn valley his whole life.

before he was mayor he was the owner and primary manager for red’s tavern, now he just owns the place and stops by for a drink of his own every once in a while.

he’s placed the business in the capable hands of his sister, the second oldest ellis child after jack himself.

the tavern has been in the family for generations and jack was always proud to own it. he was conscious to get to know a lot of people that way and even though it maintains a dive bar aesthetic, you’ll be hard pressed to find a cleaner bathroom or better junk food.

when he was setting up his mayoral campaign, he got a lot of votes because of his proximity to the people of the town through the bar, which is something he’s been conscious to make especially family friendly.

lots of people had known him since he was little and even though he ran nearly unopposed, he was a fine breath of fresh air.

he’s ,,, disgustingly warm, honestly. he’s a single father of three children ( ages 16, 19, and 21 -- the eldest two are playable ! ) and he has five younger siblings of his own.

big families are something that he’s always known and adored. the holiday season means the world to him and he always starts preparing for halloween in september ( though he is incredibly conscious about making sure he doesn’t skip thanksgiving in his excitement for christmas ).

wanted connections:

personal assistant ⋅ this is the person who helps jack find his head every morning. they know the ins and outs of his personal life and help him with just about everything he need, from making sure he gets his coffee in the morning to picking up his kids from school. they’re treated like a member of the ellis family and jack trusts them with his life.

his flirtationship ⋅ this is someone that jack is progressively warming up to ( for as much warmer as a man like jack can get ). whether or not this grows into something more is something that we can plot out, but he’s extremely hesitant to start anything serious given that he’s concerned about his kids, his dedication to the town, and not actually being able to make time for the person he gets romantically involved with. preferably filled by someone 27+ and can be any gender.

★.⁙⁓ sarah jeffery, cis female, she/her, sexuality. ★.⁙⁓ introducing autumn valley’s very own belinda matthews ! she is a twenty five year old tour guide and a cancer. belle can be found at crichton manor and their favorite autumn activity is getting lost in a corn maze. { written by hannah }

belinda matthews is the daughter of a pair of lawyers, cecelia and andrew matthews.

the matthews were well into their thirties by the time they’d had their first child, both of them on their second marriage, but neither one lacking in love for their daughter.

belle always knew she was loved and for that kind of home she will always be thankful. the relationship that she has with her parents is built on a deep foundation of trust and respect, something that she’s observed is not true for most of her friends her age.

given this extremely tight relationship, she’s always been a rather confident kid and that translated to her schoolwork, too.

her parents were lawyers and she wanted to follow in their footsteps as best as she could.

it was at school that belle was reminded of how sincerely she loved history and she switched relatively early on from any kind of criminal justice or pre-law track to a history track.

she’s currently in her final year of her master’s degree, though she’s not totally sure what she’s going to do with it.

she took up a job at crichton manor about two years ago to put a little extra cash in her pocket while she was working on her degrees and she absolutely loves giving tours around town.

wanted connections:

i’m lowkey a little burnt out but fuck me up, belle makes close connections easily !

#i have two more muses coming ( a dove cameron and matt daddario )#i just wanted to get something posted #hqa:intro

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liskantope · 5 years

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A meta-complaint about complaints

A lot of drama arises when people make complaints (for the purposes of this post, I don’t mean against each other, but just complaints in general). I would argue that at least some of this drama arises from misunderstanding, and this is all tied up with the fact that the concept of complaining is hard to talk about; a lot of the time we don’t realize that there are multiple senses of the term.

The first sense I’ll mention is the one that’s mostly likely to be considered obnoxious, which is when someone complains about some aspect (or many aspects) of their life and how bad it is. This is never in a context where the receiver of the complaint can do anything to fix the problem; rather, the only apparent purpose is to elicit sympathy or simply to vent. While this is something everyone is entitled to do from time to time among friends, it can obviously be an unattractive behavior if it goes too far or is done in a thoughtless way, for instance by exaggerating how much one’s entire life sucks or by implying that other people don’t have real problems compared to one’s own, etc. This is the kind of complaining that’s most often branded as “whining” and is frequently met with attitudes of “Nobody likes a whiner” and “Quit whining and actually do something about it.” For lack of a better term coming to mind at the moment, I’ll just call this complaint-as-venting.

A second sense is complaining about a specific thing that the listener can do something about, with the implicit or explicit intent of getting that person to remedy that thing. For instance, a guest in someone’s house might complain of being cold so that the host will turn up the heating, or someone might complain to their boss about the behavior of their coworker in hopes that the boss will intervene. I’ll call this complaint-as-request.

I first started thinking about this years ago when someone I knew in college was roundly criticized by those close to her for doing way too much complaining-as-venting; she seemed not to see the distinction between that and complaining-as-request and in trying to fix her behavior felt like she was no longer allowed to directly request things if in order to make the request she had to explain some way in which she was suffering.

(As I write this, I realize there’s another sense of complaint that kind of lies between these two, which I might call complaint-as-request-for-advice and is fairly hard to distinguish from complaint-as-venting. So the confusion deepens.)

Now there’s still another sense of complaint which, to my mind, isn’t even necessarily a complaint per se (see my example about speaking Italian below), where someone goes into an explanation of something in their life that they don’t like in order to explain a preference or decision. I’ll call this complaint-as-explanation.

Although I’ve vaguely considered all of this for some years, what spurred me to write this today is that lately I’ve been finding it particularly frustrating the way my complaints-as-explanation tend to get misinterpreted as complaints-as-venting (or complaints-as-request-for-advice, or even kinda-sorta complaints-as-request!), which makes me feel like a whiner and like a generally frustrating person when I then resist engaging with their assurances or suggestions. This is a difficult thing to socially navigate: if you express a complaint in the course of explaining why you want or plan to do something, and you’re asked to explain or elaborate on the complaint, the conversation winds up being entirely focused on your topic of complaint rather than on the expressed preference that brought the whole topic up.

To make my meaning clearer, I’ll get specific about the main context where this comes up for me nowadays. I get asked by people (on almost a weekly basis!) about how I like Italy and whether I plan to stay here. When I feel the context calls for an honest answer, I tell people that while the people here have been kind to me, I hope to leave Italy and that I certainly don’t intend to find another job here when my current contract is over. So then of course I have to explain to people why I really don’t like the idea of living in Italy in the long term. This mainly boils down to the most fundamental complaint I’ve had about my life for the last several years: that I’m starved for intimate relationships (I mean platonic as well as romantic). And I’ve gradually decided that it seems highly unlikely that this could get any better for me personally as long as I keep living in Italy. Therefore I want to leave and start a new life somewhere else as soon as I can.

But it turns out to be really hard to break down exactly what it is that I’m starved for in terms of forming close relationships or why the local culture makes it hard for me to do so as a foreigner. I get a lot of skepticism about my claims and why I’m so frustrated with life in Italy, and so I wind up delving into it pretty deeply, at which point it seems like I just want to vent or whine, or like I’m hinting to the person I just met that I want them to extend an offer to hang out or something because I need a better social life. And the fact is... at this point, in these particular months, I no longer care to better my social life here. This is mainly because I pretty much have to move out of the country late this summer when my job ends anyway, so there’s little point in trying to build close relationships, but also because I’m way busier and more stressed about work in these particular months than I have been usually. (And of course the suspicion that someone’s offer to hang out is largely motivated by pity only makes me feel worse about it.)

If I try to explain that I’m actually kind of busy and stressed at the moment and not up for much hanging out, then I come across as someone who just went on a big long rant about a problem that I won’t actually lift a finger to do something about. And if I try to eschew people’s advice/offers in the first place, then I’m just someone who likes whining simply for the sake of hearing myself whine without listening to anyone’s responses.

And then sometimes this conversation turns towards my claim that the language barrier is still prohibitive for me in terms of making deep connections with people, which is invariably met with (I think quite sincere) responses of “But [Liskantope], your Italian is so good!” (amid other forms of skepticism which are less complimentary like, “But you still don’t have it too hard because most people you’ll encounter speak some English”, but I won’t get into that). So this inevitably leads to my explaining that my Italian still isn’t really good enough to overcome this problem in my personal life, that as good as I am already I feel like I’ve maybe hit a ceiling that I suspect I’ll never rise above no matter how long I stay in this country. When I try to explain the level I can’t seem to reach (”I’d need to get to where I can hang out with a big group of Italians in a bar with background noise and not only entirely follow their conversation but have energy left over to contribute to it intelligently”), it really sounds as though I’m lamenting how discouraged I am about not getting far enough with Italian. And in fact, the opposite is true! Learning Italian is one thing in my life that’s gone really well and is something I’m proud of! So as far as this is concerned I wouldn’t complain at all! But specifically in the context of an explanation for why I find it unlikely I’ll ever get the life I want in Italy, yeah, my Italian just doesn’t seem good enough.

The more I argue with Italians who tell me how great my Italian is, the more I look like I’m either humblebragging or determined to have low self-confidence about something I’m obviously good at. And the more I eschew their advice (no, I’ve tried watching films in Italian and this just doesn’t work because of my attention issues and in general I don’t care to prioritize more time and energy into my Italian because in any other context it’s already something that’s gone really well for me compared to most other things), the more I once again come across as someone who only wants to hear himself whine.

TL;DR: I want to be able to explain my preferences and choices (in the above example, my choice to leave Italy) without having my explanations treated as complaints that must be dealt with as such.

[EDITED TO ADD: This post has been a meta-rant which is itself a complaint-as-venting I suppose, and the rant about my difficulties with my life in Italy is only a complaint-as-explanation to support the meta-rant, but I don’t really mind it being treated as a complaint-as-venting or a complaint-as-request-for-advice. My fears of coming across as a whiner don’t apply in the same way in the Tumblr context, for the obvious reason that the social mechanics are much different here: blogs are meant for long, ranty monologues and someone who doesn’t feel like being an audience can always scroll down.]

#complaining #language barriers #social life #personal #ranting

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kimmysfandomblog · 5 years

Note

9 and 20 for Hinaegi, 5 and 14 for Komahina !

Thank you for the ask, Chloe!!! 😀

From here! https://hajimehinata-kun.tumblr.com/post/180161745002/asks-21-otppairing-questions

Hinaegi:

9. Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?

I think my favorite thing about HiNaegi is more to do with potential interaction. They do things in different ways, but their basic ideals are the same. Naegi and Hinata don’t think much of themselves, but while Naegi kind of accepts he is average, Hinata doesn’t. He has too much ambition to give up on the dream of doing something bigger. They are both the type to listen and care for their friends, and they end up leading even if they don’t think of themselves as leaders.

I think that if they were to interact, they’d be digging into the things they hide behind their “average” exterior. It’s a lot more noticeable with Hinata, being that he’s a Reserve Course Student. I think Naegi would be one to say he feels out of place among the Ultimates, since they are so weird for the most part. They could get into how, even if they are Ultimates, they are friends and don’t even care about Naegi having the talent of luck, which he doesn’t even consider a talent since it rarely every affects him. Also, I feel Naegi will really be able to sympathize with Hinata. He might want to know what the Reserve Course is like, and he’d be able to validate Hinata’s disdain of being stuck there.

As for Naegi, he really accepts way too much from his friends- in terms of being a bit too passive. And he’s also too forgiving, I think ^^; maybe Hinata would be able to help him out a bit with that, or sympathize with him a bit (I mean, Souda was able to drag him into crashing a beach party, but Hinata was able to draw a line with the matching speedos, lol) Maybe he could get Naaegi to show off his more assertive side instead of hiding it like he does (and Naegi certainly does have an assertive side! It’s just one that doesn’t usually come out unless in a threatening situation)

I do perceive friction, however. I think that Naegi can be too optimistic about things, and sometimes you just can’t accept optimism. With Hinata, even if Naegi were to say that it doesn’t matter that Hinata is in the Reserve Course because he still has people who know that Hinata is a great person, and that is worth more than a title, I think that if something were to happen, like what Juzo did to him in DR3, that could cause Hinata to snap. If we recall what happened in DR2′s 6th trial, Hinata respected Naegi, but he couldn’t just accept Naegi’s plan, which put Hinata’s whole self at risk. It would also be something like, they are very similar, but the differences just rub at them even harder because they have certain expectations out of each other.

And then of course there is a canon AU with post-DR3… I can’t imagine Hinata being happy about Naegi making a new Hope’s Peak Academy. Hope’s Peak Academy has been pretty much the source of Hinata’s problems. He played his own part, of course, but a lot of it is to do with the environment and mentality that HPA created. I think that maybe the only thing that settles it is if the way Naegi runs HPA is different, like that these students do have to pay a fee unless they aren’t able to financially support their education (it isn’t government run, or not completely), that there are no talent scouts, and instead they apply to become Ultimates (like in V3), and that just overall, there are no special benefits (they still have to take the normal exams, but there is time allotted to their talent. They kind of have to have a longer school year because of that, and it may be needed to waive things as long as it is made up some other way, but there is no special treatment which would make the Talented superior. The point of the school is for talents to be fostered, but for the benefit of society and not scientific exploitation and the separation between talented/”average” people. This would also mean that you are not prohibited from letting friends visit the campus, as long as it is not disruptive.

I do think even then, there’s gonna be tension, but maybe Naegi’s optimism, that he is going to do everything he can to make sure this is not going to turn out the same way it did with the previous HPA, and just general sincerity that he believes in thisnew school, Hinata gives it a chance.

20. What made you decide to ship them?

I have a few guesses, but the exact reason why… I honestly don’t know. It was surely not immediately. Naegi was always a character I liked a lot, but didn’t love, so HiNaegi snuck up on me. By the time DR3 was rollong around, I was already attracted to the idea that they meet and interact in a meaninflgful way again. A part of it was that, due to them being protagonists, they often are featured together, and it screamed cute potential to me. I know the reasons why I ship them: they have this feeling of balance to them somehow, like they have a lot of similarities, and fill in for their weaknesses. They both look like they would trust each other and sacrifice for each other’s well-being in their own different ways. Of course, this could be platonic as well as romantic (and I do love both!). The moment I realized this… that I wanted to see them romantically involved as well… I am not sure. I just know that when Hope Arc gave me them goving each other that look, I was already deep in XD I just supressed it, like all the other fans did, because who was I gonna share my passion with? I am very glad that I broke out of that. The Hinaegi community has been very supportive, and I love them! (Some of us are also partners for the Hinata Project, so that wouldn’t have been even a thought without them!)

KomaHina:

5. Favorite canon moment of them?

Most definitely, it would be the Prologue and CH1! I love the way that they met, with Komaeda being really concerned over Hinata, whose fainted on the beach. I love that they are together for the introductions, and how Hinata kind of leans on Komaeda with trust. I like that Hinata really and truly didn’t want to believe that the Komaeda he was thankful for waking him up (sorry dr2 stage moment but-) was the type to kill someone, and that utter betrayal he felt later. I like how despite that, Komaeda was still hoping/expecting Hinata wouldn’t treat him differently (but accepts it anyways). Prologue and CH1 were truly just the best moments for me. A close second would be CH3, when Hinata is super concerned about Komaeda’s well-being despite all the feelongs in him :’) (yeah, that may be why I get mad about people criticizing him for not staying with Ko)

14. Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?

In all honestly, it is hard to compare ships, since in general, despite the tropes (like rival ×rival), changes in personality and backstory really change how I view that pairing. The only thing I got is my feeling, and KomaHina is just WAY up there in my interests. Sometimes I wish it was less popular, or maybe more like, I wish it wasn’t popular enough to have a vehemently rabid side with equally rabid antis XD Admittedly, most of the reason I like KomaHina is because I love the characters (specifically Hinata, but Komaeda as well), but that relationship they have truly feels unique to me.

This is more than just shipping the rivals together like some certain other pairs in these kinds of stories. There’s a complexity there, since Komaeda actively pushes everyone away, but feels comfortable around Hinata, but also doesn’t want to hurt Hinata with his presence so he pushes away even more. And then there is Hinata, who wishes he could hate Komaeda, but actually he is still concerned about the guy, even if Komaeda’s logic frustrates him, he still sees Komaeda as smart and tries to understand him, if not very openly saying he wishes to understand him. I have other OTPs that were rival×rival (was into SasuNaru for a long time, was into USUK if that works as rivals?), but somehow this pair feels different.

I guess the only pair I love equally, within this fandom at least, is KamuNami. The relationship has potential at complexity, though I guess because of the DR3 writing, no one that would have been okay with it initially, likes it. Rather, they quite hate it, and it’s… too bad. There would’ve been more complex interactions had they known each other, especially given how different their values are. Kamukura doesn’t care if he has killed or not, whether it was in self-defense or a casualty in his grand schemes. Nanami is adamantly against that- and she’d be annoyed at him too, I think, for his attitude. At the same time, there would be something that forces her to interact with him, whether it was the need to keep an eye on him (as class rep or as the Observer, for example), or general curiosity (him being an AI too, his connection to Hinata (whether as the same person or two seperate people), or if in some other AU some other similarity that makes them unique, like it could be how he beats her at games). As an AI, he would be the only one there besides Usami, and he has all the answers as to how her friends are doing. I can’t imagine her being too friendly when she realizes the lengths he had to go to and how unaffected he seems to be about it, but in the end, he did help it to help them, and it’s a rare case where such a thing was necessary. And he acts cold and unfeeling, but there was a glimmer of emotion in him at the same time. This is similar to human Kamukura as well, I think. If we set this in an AU, she would definitely struggle interacting with him, maybe even starting to believe he is cold and lifeless and nothing more. But then he’d say something and she realizes he’s human, but it’s harder for him to express emotions. They are the type of people who would rather isolate themselves and let others ignore them, but Chiaki has this self that cares about others, making her break away from her comfort zone. I headcanon she would go to extreme lengths, even going head-to-head and almost on par with Izuru if it came to it, to protect her friends, and that would shock him, I think. He’d observe her more carefully since she’s the one who did something interesting, but he’d get annoyed when she tries to make him see the world differently. He’s rather arrogant like that. I don’t think she’ll ever fully succeed, but he’s eventually going to be softer on her (in my headcanons, this is pretty much how it goes hahaha).

Another part of the reason why KamuNami is so important is because it has a lot to do with how accepting the community has been! I used to be ambivalent to the ship because of the shipping wars, to be quite honest, but the KamuNami community, however small we are, actually support each other with comments and reblogs. The mod of KamuNami Paradise is the sweetest and most understanding person, and she tries really hard for the community. I really look up to her! In a way, I guess that solidified it. My love for KamuNami was but a handful until KamuNami Week 2017, and the support of the community, as well as how well Mod Kibou fostered this ship, is the reason why I love it as much as I do. That blog… without it, I would have kept that KamuNami side of me hidden and let it die. I am thankful that didn’t happen!

For KomaHina, the community just feels too big sometimes. I have a lot more ambivalence about the fans who like KomaHina than I do for other ships, simply because KomaHina is the most popular ship (well hopefully remains that way lol. I do and don’t like the popularity, but I want the ship that beats it to be meaningful. And here in my salt corner, I don’t think this ship I’m talking about that has the potential to overtrow KomaHina is even a quarter as meaningful). I mean, it’s like there is this belief somewhere in there that anyone who doesn’t remotely ship it is like… homophobic, or ignorant, or ognorong canon- just overall a bad person. I never felt comfortable with that. Yet, at the same time, I made a lot of friends through KomaHina! Which is puzzling to me since I was so expecting, well, nothing to happen. That was my experience with every other fandom, you know? A lot of my mutuals also love KomaHina, so at least with this ship, I know I’ll feel validated. There is so much content for it as well that, for the most part, I don’t feel as starved for it XD (MOST of the time… it never truly leaves you lol) Also, participating in KomaHina Secret Exchange is just such a pleasure! You’re honestly another mod I admire XD That event is always fun! It’s incredible to see the amount of love for this ship that I care about, we care about.

I guess when it comes down to it, what I need in my OTPs is that potential for complexity, especially if it surprises you. I also like validation, apparently XD It is just lonely shipping something no one else cares about, you know?

On a side note, fave ship is still KomaHinaNami for very indulgent reasons XD but I’ve overexplained at this point lol

#serahne-is-here #mehere #ask meme

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amlao · 3 years

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Day 114 of Being Alone for the First Time in My Adult Life Sometimes, after or around my period, my mental health is absolutely terrible. I can’t get anything done, I walk around in an enormous fog on the verge of tears, I feel a knot in my stomach, and I ruminate about negative things that normally wouldn’t upset me. But I imagine that it’s much easier to manage than depression, because it’s very infrequent and I know it’s not my brain’s baseline...it’s just my hormones. I also can’t cry. I mean, I can. I’m physically capable of it.

But the way my sinuses are set up, I’d rather not. My entire life, on the unfortunate occasion I’ve lost control and allowed myself to cry, my eyes swell shut, my vision gets blurry, and I lose the ability to breathe out of my nose for days. Which is well past the timeframe I’ve ever been sad about anything.

I try to remind myself of that whenever I feel like crying, because it is absolutely not worth going to work/class mouth-breathing and looking like I’ve had a severe allergic reaction.

Anyway.

I have not been sad about breaking up with Matt the entire Summer. I had been crawling out of my skin for so long with restlessness that I felt instant relief, a sense of freedom, and a new chapter starting.

I also had so many connections reenter my life throughout the Summer: new friendships, being able to go back to the gym and work with my trainer again, getting a therapist, etc. that the connections I gained overrode what I lost.

But yesterday, for the first time, I saw Matt in person. I was getting out of my car and heading to class, and I made eye contact with him as he was in his car driving away.

And for some reason, I’m struggling with that.

I felt this in a huge capacity with Brad too; like, how can you be right there, with all the history and connection we both know we have, and just turn your back on it? No one even did anything that wrong: no one cheated, no one said anything I would consider unforgivable. You know a functional friendship is possible: we’ve both experienced it. We’ve both had a good time together. Are you really just going to throw away years of history because we didn’t work out in a romantic capacity? Can you really not move past that?

I expressed something similar to Matt when we were still together, about Brad and other exes of mine who have failed to move on, and he said something that struck me:

Me: I don’t understand why I can recode the relationship in my head so easily, but they can’t. It didn’t work out. The relationship wasn’t good. But our good friendship spanned longer than that, so why just throw that away? Matt: I don’t think you get it, because you’ve never not been enough for someone. It’s easy for you to move on and just see it as not the right fit, but they see it as having not being enough for you, and that shit hurts forever. Which...in a way, I do get, because that might be why I’ve been stuck on Logan for so long: he was more than enough for me, but he sought romantic and sexual gratification elsewhere, making me feel like I wasn’t enough. And I’d like to think that the reason I could never be friends with him has to do with his inability to respect boundaries, but I also wonder if there’s a universe where I could ever be friends with him without falling in love with him or feeling pain seeing him love with someone else. But I think there are other reasons for that. Logan and my relationship has never once been platonic. Even when we were talking while I was dating someone, there was always an undertone of sexual tension and flirtation. Down to our very last exchange, I asked him if he could respect my boundaries to have him blocked on all accounts and never contact me again, and his response was a teasing, “I don’t know, I’ll tell you tomorrow 😉,” And as I discovered, he creates that undertone with virtually any woman he talks to, whether it’s reciprocated or not. It was just impossible for me not to reciprocate, because it came so naturally and my dumb ass was so entranced by him. But I’ve never had another relationship like that. With Matt and Brad there was very much a divide that I felt that separated the romantic from the platonic. And because I knew the platonic was able to exist, I knew it could get back there under the right circumstances.

For me, at least.

“But why would you want to be friends with Matt after he texted you something so horrible? He called you selfish, said you gave him nothing as a partner, and told you to go fuck yourself,”

I guess I just chalk that up to him being hurt and know that he doesn’t mean it? But also...if he does mean it...he can go fuck himself. I was the best partner I was emotionally capable of being at the time.

For his birthday, I bought him a $250 box of Warhammer minis, took him on a daytrip to a zoo in another state, and bought him a nice dinner, and I did it all safely in the Summer of 2020, at the height of the pandemic.

I communicated with him about my feelings of ambivalence, and always made sure he knew that I valued him as a person and that it was my fault that I felt this way.

I tried to be understanding of his mental health and support him in the capacity he needed, and while I apparently didn’t give him what he wanted in that department, I knew I was in over my head in a lot of situations (PTSD, medications, etc.) and encouraged him to see a therapist. I even offered to help him pay for one. He was insulted by the implication that I thought his mental health was better on meds and that I thought he would benefit from a therapist, but I was unequipped to know what to say or do for his childhood trauma, aside from expressing sympathy and support.

I got a Nintendo Switch and learned to play games that he enjoyed so we could have things in common to do (granted, I genuinely enjoyed these games and still play them to this day) and watched dozens of animes with him, even though my attention span is 0.001 seconds long. I made time for him and came over at least once a week. When his back hurt or he didn’t feel like getting outside or walking with me, (something I need and enjoy in my routine) I was okay with staying in and just hanging out and didn’t complain.

I did things I don’t consider important or necessary in a relationship, like texting “good morning,” every morning because I knew they were important to him. I’m sure he would protest this one, because I originally told him that I thought it was stupid to have to text him good morning every morning just for him to assume I wasn’t mad at him, that he shouldn’t need that much reassurance in an adult relationship, and that it felt like an obligation to me. But he explained it, and eventually I apologized for being insensitive, understood, and went out of my way to do it for the rest of our relationship.

I built him up all the time and genuinely and sincerely complimented his intelligence, humor, personality, and physical appearance daily.

And I did this all while having so little to give and mourning my relationship with Logan daily.

He needed more validation in my commitment to him than I had to give, and he entered the relationship knowing I was unsure and promising that wasn’t an issue for him.

He knew what he was getting into when he pursued a relationship with me.

I just don’t understand him being so upset about it now, and saying I was worse than his ex who supposedly never complimented him, berated him daily, made him pay for everything, and forced him to do things he hated all the time. Unless that also wasn’t true, and he just took how he felt in that relationship (unwanted, unattractive, used, etc.) and ascribed those things to her literal actions. He has a tendency of remembering how a situation made him feel, and then creating an altered narrative to match that feeling.

For example, we once went to a very nice restaurant and got aggressively average service.

That’s it. That’s the whole story.

We waited five minutes to be seated despite having reservations, we didn’t get bread at our table, and our waitress was cordial at most. But the more times he retold this story, the more passive-aggressive the restaurant staff became in his rendition, the more malicious and intentional the small mistakes were.

And he remembered things like this a lot. That was actually a huge reason I knew the relationship wasn’t right: I didn’t trust his judgment or perception.

#the single chronicles

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