#where matthew is being a little shit but actually kinda good at the dance

[the999thstar]

Somebody tell me why I can't stop picturing rpf!Matthew dancing when I listen to Texas Hold 'Em ???

#matthew tkachuk #bonus #mattdrai #bc i guess my headcanon is this is a morning after #where matthew is being a little shit but actually kinda good at the dance #and Leon's charmed but annoyed about it #classic ik #also i acknowledge my need for more practice on faces & if you squint a different way this could totally be Tyler Seguin & Jamie Benn #which i also love just hadnt realized Tyler 'only steers & queers in texas' Seguin would have been a good option for this art #until i was already all the way committed to mattdrai

[ghostedcas]

riley family hcs:

tw: mentions of post-partum depression and psychosis, mentions of self harm, mentions of death/dying/suicide (no actual death though, everyone is alive!!), allusions to ghost's trauma

- matthew is a big batman enjoyer just like his dad, simon got him matching batman stuff all the time growing up

- matthew is also a big softie, big guy like his dad but is just an absolute softie (biggest animal lover fr)

- lyla's first word was tea because simon asks for tea so much when he's home she picked it up from him

- luka's first word was pineapple and it to this day baffles you and simon

- bug and matthew will never admit it's because they trained him to do it

- 90% of what simon drinks when he is home is tea

- he probably asks for tea at least once an hour

- "baby can you make me some tea?"

- "love, are you making tea? can you make me some too?"

- "do you want to have some tea?"

- "oh, while you're up can you grab me a cuppa?"

- atp just keep the kettle on 24/7 when he's home

- bug kept their middle name, it's joeseph <3

- true to their name, bug used to bring all assortments of bugs home with them as a kid

- literally just pulled a mf earth worm out of his pocket one night at dinner when he was 8

- simon and matthew freaked out

- "ew! why did bring that to the table?!"

- "bug you're gonna make me sick, please get that thing away from our dinner..."

- "matthew! simon! be nice!"

- lyla is a big daddy's girl, luka is a mommy's boy

- idk if i mentioned it before but bug uses they/he pronouns (will use she/her to spite people, only ever to spite people)

- matthew has beat up transphobes at school for bug (and would gladly do it again)

- soap tried so hard to convince simon to name a kid after him

- closest he got was matthew's middle name being john (he'll take the win)

- lyla's middle name is valerie (for the sole reason that mummy likes the song valerie a little too much, it kinda pisses simon off because it's so close to valeria but he lives with it and learns to love it every time he sees his lover dancing around the kitchen to the song)

- luka legally doesn't have a middle name, it's supposed to be spencer

- simon may or may not have forgotten to write it down on the certificate

- he was emotional, okay?

- at least he remembered to put his name there at all??

-he misspelled riley by accident the first time and scribbled it out

- when soap found out he refused to let him live it down and reminds him of it every opportunity he gets

- only for simon to remind him of the time bug shoved a snail down soap's throat when he was a child and soap actually ate it so he wouldn't hurt bug's feelings

- shell and all

- soap shuts up quickly after that

- uncle soap <3

- some sad ones comin your way besties

- simon wasnt exactly a good dad for the first couple years of matthew and bugs lives

- you were both young and he was still very unhealed from his (continuously growing) trauma

- a lot of fights were had

- a lot of simon just leaving in the middle of the night out of nowhere

- it took one really bad fight where you completely broke down in front of him for him to realize that he had to get his shit together

- family therapy appointment was booked the next day for as soon as possible

- truthfully he didn't think it would help, he's always been a big therapy hater

- but to his surprise it helped a lot, of course it still took some time and a lot of hard work but he did eventually grow to become a much better father and partner

- luckily by the time matthew and bug were in their most formative years is when simon had become a bit more stable and a better dad

- of course they still had to go through his deployments and the trauma of not knowing if their dad would come home, but they never ever experienced trauma at the hands of simon

- simon actually suffered PPD and PPP alongside you after you had the kids

- neither of you developed PPP until the twins though

- it was a very big struggle for both of you

- there was a short period of time where you actually had your parents take the kids because neither of you trusted yourselves alone with them

- his lasted much shorter than yours did though

- there was a period of time where you were still suffering both PPD and PPP while simon was deployed and it ended up with you and matthew in the hospital

- you hadn't intended to hurt him, he just happened to get in the way of you hurting yourself and you accidentally hurt him as well

- simon didn't find out until he came home from deployment and saw that you weren't alone at home with the kids but instead had hired a nanny who was trained for situations like this

- he felt awful that he couldn't be there for you when you needed someone so badly

- he could've lost you and he wouldn't have known until he came home

- but he didn't

- anyyywaaaayyyys, back to the happy stuff :3

- bug watches markiplier

- matthew watches buzzfeed unsolved (loves watching it with uncle soap<3)

- sleepovers at uncle soap's when he's off of deployment 🥰

- matthew had a habit of bringing random strays into the house from the ages of 6-10

- or even just random wild animals he somehow befriended

- get home from work and he's just sitting there on the couch with a raccoon in his hands

- you just stand there like ????

- "matthew, please get that thing out of my house..."

- "but why? it's nice mummy."

- "i know you think so honey, but it's really not. it's probably very dirty and wants to be left alone. they live outside for a reason, right bud? if they wanted to be in homes, they would be."

- "fine... five more minutes?"

- "two, no more, no less. and that include your saying goodbye time."

- "fine."

#ghostedcas #casper writes #ghostedcas: ghost #ghostedcas: riley family ocs #ghostedcas: bug riley #ghostedcas: matthew riley #ghostedcas: lyla riley #ghostedcas: luka riley #simon ghost riley x oc #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley fluff #simon ghost riley angst #simon ghost riley headcanons

[josiebelladonna]

mercury retrograde: all i can think of is all alone by mad season 🥺

last day in paradise: one of those songs that sticks with you and you don’t really have a reason for it, either. it just... is. 

tom sawyer: *neil peart smiling from heaven*

shades of grey: alex being self aware? what a man.

pratique lo que predicas: this is weirdly more sinister than the original, like… picture a knife being sharpened.

the lizard: headcanon: alex was jimmy morrison in another life

channel 4: whatever you do, don’t fall asleep listening to this one. just... trust me on this.

revelation (mother earth): *ozzy laughing in the distance*

out there somewhere: alex: i can’t sleep. nathan: sorry, dude. matt: did someone say ‘splash cymbal’?

western sabbath stomp: picture alex in black cowboy boots, black leather pants that are a bit too snug, no shirt, big black cowboy hat… and the star of david around his neck. yippee ki yo ki yay motherfucker 🔥

panna: bread? bread.

bollywood: getting a weird little dave matthews vibe from this. idk, i expect to see carter beauford listed and a horn section somewhere. this is also one of those songs where my hips just instinctively start swaying to the rhythm the second it starts.

song of the open road: alex, did you take one of the many road trips my family and me had when i was a kid, either from carson city down to my grandparents’ house in simi then the antelope valley, or from carson city up to montana and down through yellowstone, and didn’t tell us because-

veritas: you are hearing the sound of a man breaking his own heart.

99/09: *heavy breathing*

path of least resistance: this cocaine makes me feel like i’m on this song. this song makes me feel like a broom.

alone in brooklyn: this is one of those songs where if you’re not in the right state of mind, oh my god, do you feel it. like, when it hits you wrong, it hits you WROOOOOOOONG and it’s especially difficult to explain to someone else if all they listens to is music with singing and shit.

the river lethe: alex in chains.

flection: i can think of about 50 things you can do with that tongue and i ain’t telling you half of them, mr. skolnick.

fade to black: ...yes. yes, THAT fade to black. and tbh, i kinda like it better than the original. this one’s more humble.

bollywood club remix: it’s like he knew someone as sensual as me would come along. EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

unbound: something oddly heartbreaking about this one once i’ve had my deep listen through their discography. i just picture alex having the same look on his face the time i told him on ig live i couldn’t watch him that night. that look on his face and monsoon flow raindrops sliding down from my eyes to imitate tears.

django tango: *george costanza voice* there should be some salsa on the table here.

conundrum: if unbound is heartbreaking, this is like the weirdly unhinged older brother that drank five cups of coffee during a depressive episode. why am i under the impression alex has dealt with some severe anxiety or depression in his life.

culture shock: 🤠

gymnopédie no. 1: if you know the backstory on this one, it conjures a... *tina belcher voice* very nice image.

dodge the bambula: the sound of a mental breakdown at the coso junction rest stop bathroom at 1 in the morning where there’s no one else on the road and you’re about 100 miles from civilization.

key of sea: alex is a merman. no, i will not elaborate.

a question of moral ambiguity: alright. *sigh* who farted.

protect the dream: the one trio song that genuinely puts me to sleep. need i say more.

florida man blues: ALEX SINGING ALEX SINGING ALEX SINGING ALEX SINGING ALEX SINGING ALEX SINGING ALEX SINGING ALEX SINGING and he’s actually got a pretty good voice? he’s off-key but like... reel him in and have him tune up a bit, and he could actually do some legit singing in his own rite at some point. he’s got a nice full baritone à la nick cave or mark lanegan or somebody.

their covers are like little gems, too, and many of which you would never expect to work in a free jazz setting—look no further than the metallica, testament, or ozzy covers; they’ve also covered judas priest!

#deep listening #alex skolnick #alex skolnick trio #headcanon #text #this was a long time coming too 😅

[hockeybabestars]

New Year Same Us - Auston Matthews - Nine

a/n: guys we’re so close to the end! only one more chapter after this! I hope you enjoy part nine!

December 31, 2018 - January 1, 2019

Mitch and Stephs New Years party was pretty amazing. They had decorated with shiny banners and confetti and there were hats and beads and glasses to wear to ring in the new year. Everyone was having a good time mingling or dancing or doing their own things. Music softly played through the living room speakers with ease and the NYC countdown was playing on the T.V. Everyone was dressed up and looking their best. And Aus was no different. 

I spotted him across the room chatting with Freddie. He wore a simple black suit with a white button up underneath, some of the buttons undone showing his toned chest. He looked hot. I thought he would go for something more bold but he insisted on matching me. I thought it was cute. My silver cocktail dress would for sure clash with the other suit he had in mind, so we compromised. His eyes met mine and I sucked in a slight breath. The twinkle of his gaze really doing it for me as he grinned. I smiled back shaking my head. 

He had seemed different since John and Aryne’s wedding. The night that almost was, as I had been referring to it. I had wanted to kiss him badly, but it felt like the timing of it all was horrible. I had decided that night that I was going to try to get over him. I was tired of hearing that we were perfect together and knowing an end for us was never in sight. And then he goes and pulls me back in with his lingering touch and lips ever so slightly ghosting over mine. 

An almost. A should’ve been.

Since then he’s made subtle changes. In the kitchen he would put a hand on my lower back as he brushed past me to grab something from the fridge. He’d been sneaking into my room late at night, just to talk or snuggle. And every time we go out he keeps an arm slung around my waist and eyes down every guy in the vicinity. It’s not fair, honestly. That he gets to stake a claim without the weight of officiality looming over his shoulders. It felt like he had decided to dance around whatever this was. And I was over it. My heart felt like it was being pulled in different directions. Option one was listening to my heart and diving head first into us, and the option two was telling me to listen to my head. And my head kept telling me that I would ruin us, some way, somehow, and I didn’t want that.

But for now, I would happily ignore all of that just to have a good time with my friends. I constantly needed a distraction from will-we-won’t-we with Auston, so I decided tonight that I would let him do his own thing and see where it took us. 

It felt like there were so many things going on, but maybe a refill would do the trick. I found myself in the kitchen, looking through the fridge for something to make a mixed drink with. One drink was not doing me enough of a service tonight, but I wasn’t planning on having more than 2. Maybe 2 and a half at the most. 

I pulled out some champagne and orange juice when I heard a voice from behind the fridge door. “Aren’t mimosas a morning kinda drink?” Willy asked as he shut the fridge door. He leaned casually against the wall and watched me fix my concoction with a smirk on his face. I flipped him off, but smiled as he opened the fridge back up to let me put the drinks away.

“No William. Can’t a woman drink what she wants? It’s new years, you think you could let me live a little.” I grab my drink and swirl it around as I move to step out of the kitchen but he steps in front of me, not allowing me to pass. I flick my eyes up to glare at him but he just laughs and grabs my wrists swinging them a little in front of us. I steadied our hands but he still lightly held me there.

“You seem like you're already over the night and it’s only begun. Wanna play a game?” He smirked.

“I am not up for your shenanigans tonight William!!! I mean business. And I absolutely can not be drunk.” I took my wrists back, one of which had my drink, and took a long sip.

He glared at my drink, “Sure, ‘absolutely can not be drunk’ my ass. Why can’t you live a little tonight? It’ll be funnnnn. Besides it’s fucking New Years. You deserve to be plastered (Y/N).”

I glanced around the room and spotted Auston, he had moved on from Freddie to Steph, and I wondered what they were talking about, both wearing serious expressions. “Just trying to keep a clear head is all.” I mumbled. I was about done with all the feelings swirling around in my head and my heart, and I wasn’t sure I could keep them in if I got plastered. Especially with the way he had been acting lately. What a mess that would be. So for now I keep tabs on how much I’ve had to drink.

“(Y/N/N)” Willy grabs my attention again, having picked up on my worries and this time he’s a little more serious, giving me a knowing look, “don’t worry about anything. Just worry about you. You know how to have a good time. Don’t let what ifs plague you tonight. I promise you everything will workout.” I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.

“Thanks Will. That’s just what I needed to hear.” I mumbled into his chest.

He pulled me back his smile turning into a smirk like a switch had been flipped, “game?”

I rolled my eyes, but smiled all the same, “what game? Is it a drinking game? You’re such a fucking child.”

I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist and pull me in closer. His toned chest hit my back before he spoke, “yeah what game William. You fucking child.”

I laughed swatting his hands that only tightened around me as I looked up at him. The height difference was kinda perfect actually. He glanced down, giving me a wink as I gave up my struggles of escaping his grip. He rested his chin on my head as Will looked at us with a smirk.

“I'm the child here?” He playfully asked, “We’ve got options. Captain Dickhead? Truth or Dare? What Are The Odds? Seven Minutes in Heaven? Fear Pong? What do we want?!?” 

“Truth or Dare?” I deadpanned, “This is exactly why you aren’t in charge of this shit!” I laughed. 

“Hey you never know what can happen with the right people at the right time. It can be… fun?!” He chuckled and threw me a wink. I knew what he was doing. I wanted to kick that mischievous little smirk right off his pretty face. I could see right past his feigned innocence here.

“Are you buying this shit?” I turned in Auston’s embrace to look up at him, and he looked back down at me. 

He shrugged, “Captain Dickhead is always fun.”

“I don’t wanna be drunkkkk.” I grumbled.

“Whyyyy notttttt.” Auston teased but his eyes softened as he looked down at me, “you know if you wanted to I would take care of you. I haven’t had a drink yet.” 

I squeezed his arm in thanks, “I appreciate it, I’m just not in the mood tonight.”

“It’s New Years this is the best mood!” Willy exclaimed but dropped it when I glared at him.

“Can’t I just be soberish damn it! We already went over this!” I laughed. Auston shook his head at the two of us.

“Fine, What are the odds?” Willy crosses his arms exasperated. “That can be sober!”

“I hate you.” I laughed. “I don’t wanna play your games Willy. I can already tell you have some plan formulating that I don’t want to be apart of.” Willy’s calculated expression wore off as I smiled. I pried myself out of Auston’s grip as I went to pat Will on the shoulder. “Sorry for being a buzzkill buddy!” I turned and saw confusion on Auston’s face as I walked past him, grabbing my jacket from the rack, and cradling my drink out to the balcony. 

The cool air of the night settled in my lungs as I rested my arms out on the glass railing. The city lights roaring to life as the clock got closer and closer to midnight.

I knew what Will was doing. He and Kappy were probably scheming some way to force Auston and I into a situation that would turn out embarrassing for me or something. 

I didn’t want our first of anything to be forced. I wanted him to want me because he had feelings for me, not because we were drunk at some wedding, or Kap and Will made a stupid bet or meddled as per usual. I wanted him to want me, but not like that. 

I shoved my thoughts aside, taking an alarmingly large sip of my drink, more like a gulp, and stared out at the sky. This was bullshit. I should be inside having fun with my friends, not trying to clear my thoughts as I overthink like I always do. I toyed at the sleeve of my dress, thinking back to when we were kids, how easy things were when the pressure of liking someone didn’t exist. When we were just us. Before I even thought of us as an “us”.

I heard the door slide open and turned to see who it was. Steph stepped out onto the balcony with me, the metallic material of her red dress shining against the moonlight.

“Hey.” She says softly, coming to stand next to me. I look at her, my expression wavering as I almost let out a few tears in frustration. “Oh honey.” She pulls me into her grasp and I lean into her. She drags me over to the breakfast chairs and slyly pulls my jacket and drink from me to set them down on the table. I sit with a huff and just breath for a minute as Steph just holds my hands. I’m thankful that she gets me, and let me collect myself before listening to me. 

“Willy, god love him, he kinda irked me back there.” I say. She looks at me confused as I continue. “He was all like ‘ I get you, don’t worry about anything’ and then he was all ‘let’s play a game with the right people at the right time and see what happens’ like no.”

Steph just laughs and I can’t help but let my frown fall away as I laugh with her.

“(Y/N), don’t worry about Will. He just wants you guys to be together as much as the next guy so he meddles a little bit.”

“I won’t let him meddle.” I smile, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes.

She looks at me seriously, observing me before speaking, “is this why you don’t wanna be drunk tonight?”

I nod, “I just don’t want to ruin anything, and I know what will happen the minute I get out of control,” my hands fall to my lap as I play with my fingers, clasping and unclasping them to distract myself. I had meticulously avoided drinking the last few times we all went out together. I felt like I would be overkill if I let myself off my own leash. “I don’t want to ruin anything.” I mumble.

“(Y/N), babe,” she pauses, “why don’t you just tell him? You’ve been sitting with this on your chest for years now. And you’ve been dealing with it by yourself. Just let yourself breath.” she pats my hand in my lap.

“I can’t just come out and tell him I love him.” I suck in a breath. “I don’t think I could bear the rejection from him. Not from Aus. I care too much about him to lose him this way.” I stress. 

“What makes you think it would automatically be rejection? How do you not see it?” She smiles before getting up and pulling me with her. I arched a brow. “Take a moment, but then go back in there and have fun. You deserve it.” She gave me a quick squeeze and headed back inside as I found my way back to the railing. 

I took a breath and closed my eyes as I just focused on clearing my mind. It was peaceful out here. The city was different at night. It felt more alive.

I heard the balcony door slide open and click shut for the second time, as footsteps came to a heavy stop next to me. It was silent for a second, just the sound of the city in the background. The air was charged around us, like he had something to say but couldn’t quite say it and I held my breath. He rested his hands on the balcony next to me, letting out a sigh before he spoke, “Were you ever going to tell me how you felt?” 

I turned to look at him then, eyes wide in shock and the embarrassment I felt was surely showing on my face, “I uh-how did you-“. He moved closer then, still not touching me but closing the distance between us slowly, and it felt like I was suffocating in his presence. “You weren’t meant to hear that.” I breathed lowly, scared that if I spoke louder maybe I would break. The chill of the Toronto air had set in and I shrugged my leather jacket over my shoulders, wrapping it tighter around me and allowing my arms to subtly wrap around themselves. But Auston saw through me. He reached out and gently peeled my arms from around myself and brought me closer to him, his scent, his voice, his presence invading my personal space from every angle.

“But I did. I did hear you.” He was so quiet I almost didn’t hear the words escape past his lips. His forehead rested on mine and his lips were so, so close. All I had to do was push up on my tip toes and his mouth would finally be on mine.

“And?” I breathed in anticipation, eyes lidded and heart racing so fast it could beat out of my chest. When did this go from me being fearful of losing him to being wrapped up in him? His fingers traced my hand as one slowly curled around my wrist and the other reached out to my waist to draw me closer.

His eyes flickered down to mine and I could hear the countdown at 10 from the living room. And if he was so cliche as to-

He kissed me on 8. His lips slowly working on mine in long drawls. His grip on my waist tightened and the hand that was in mine slowly cupped my face. His hand feels so masculine against my cheekbones, the calluses coarse against the expanse of my soft skin but I leaned into it. I brought my hands up to his broad shoulders, pushing myself as close to him as humanly possible, feeling his taut muscles ripple against me. His body heat radiated off him and warmed me up in no time. His tongue was slow and calculated in my mouth. I could feel all the passion he felt in that moment and it caused me to whimper in response. Which in turn made him tighten his grip on me. He tasted sweet like dessert wine. I could hear the cheers of our friends as they rang in the new year but I just I smiled into him. I felt him smile back as I slowly pulled away and caught my breath. 

Somehow both of his hands found their way to my waist, keeping me flat against him. I clasped my hands around his neck and scrunch my nose as he leaned his forehead back to mine gently.  I close my eyes and revel in the feeling of him against me.“That was-“

“I’m in love with you.” He interrupted and I opened my eyes. “You wha-“

“I’ve been in love with you for way too long... I just didn’t realize it. And you’ve been right in front of me this whole time. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before or why it took me so long to admit, but,” the city lights reflected in his eyes making them glimmer as he looked down at me, sincerity gracing his face, “It seems like everyone else caught on before I did. I never want to lose you. My best friend. I always want to be that for you. But I can’t just settle for it either.” His smirk started to peak out at the corners of his mouth, as I felt myself start to smile a little at the normalcy of it. This. This felt normal. That stupid smirk too.

“I need you to be mine.” He says slowly, like he’s scared, that after all of that, that I would somehow say no. 

“All you had to do was ask.” I smile as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I felt a little more confident about my feelings now. 

“I love you, Auston Matthews. Nothing has ever changed that, and nothing ever will.” I place both hands on his cheeks and give him a lingering peck on the lips. His eyes flutter open, staring into mine fervently, and I start softly, “I’ve been in love with you since we were 16 and you dragged me out on the ice. You were so mad about the outcome after your game. But you didn’t say anything about it. You just laced me up after it was over and said you could think better when I was there. I never took that too lightly.” I grinned at the look of awe on his face as he sat down in the chair I was previously in and pulled me down with him. I faced him on his lap as he placed his lips over mine again, thumb lightly rubbing a circular path along my jaw. And as he pulled away I caught my breath.

“I’m glad I get to do that anytime I want now.” He smirked.

“Anytime you want?” I played.

“Anytime,” he pecked along my jaw and I instinctively closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his lips burning on my skin, “anywhere.” He kissed my lips again but I was the one who pulled back this time. 

“Happy New Year Aus.”

“It is now.” He grinned and I lightly swatted him, his laughter filling my ears, “that’s not going to change is it?” 

“Same old us, you still want your best friend right?” I smirked.

He smiled genuinely. The one that filled my heart to the brim, “Same us, (Y/N/N).”

-

#new year same us #nysu fic #hockeybabestars #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #toronto maple leafs #tml #hbsimagine #friends to lovers #friends to more #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey boys

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Take it out on me Part 6

A/N: Hi! so this chapter is a little all over the place but just so you know this is not nearly the end of any of the relationships or the story even though it kinda seems like it is. I’ve got plans lol anyway enjoy!

PS: just a reminder that it’s all fiction and I love Auston I don’t think he’d ever do these things.

It had been a couple weeks since Auston dropped the bomb of wanting a baby and he hadn’t brought it up again since which I was grateful for. I didn’t want to figure out an excuse as to why I didn’t want to have his baby and I definitely couldn’t tell him the truth about it. We had been getting along fairly well since then but I was still spending a lot of time with Freddie whenever I could. There were just a lot of good feelings and happy things with Freddie. I felt really comfortable with him all the time. I was sitting in a bar with all the boys thinking about Freddie and why he made me feel so happy all the time when my thoughts were interrupted by a hand squeezing my thigh. I looked over to see Auston drunkenly smiling at me.

“(Y/N) come dance with me.” he mumbled.

“Aus I really don’t feel like dancing right now.”

“Why nooot?”

“Because my legs hurt really bad today.”

“They always hurt.” he pouted.

“I know love I’m sorry.” 

“Seems like a stupid excuse to get out of doing the things I want to do.”

“It’s not Auston. Promise.” I put my hand under his chin and brought his face to mine for a kiss. He deepened it and slid his tongue in my mouth. I broke away and he whined more.

“Kiss me moooore.” 

“Love we’re in public.. I can’t just climb into your lap and makeout with you like I want to.”

“You could, you just won’t.”

“I don’t want to make people uncomfortable Auston..”

“You just don’t actually love me at all.”

“Not true.”

“It is. You never want to do things with me where people can see.”

“I always want to be close to you and be touching you in public but you never let me because you say I’m too clingy.”

“You are too clingy.”

“Sorry.” I got quiet again and he just sighed.

“If you’re not going to dance with me, I’m going to find someone who fucking will.” he got up and started walking away.

“Auston please don’t do that!” I called after him, tears welling in my eyes. I let out a frustrated yell and downed the rest of my drink before asking a waitress for another one. I ran my good hand through my hair and sighed again. I looked up when I felt someone slide into the booth next to me. 

“Hi (Y/N).”

“Hi Freddie.”

“Why are you sad?” he asked slurring his words a little bit.

“Auston is going to find another girl to dance with because my legs hurt and I don’t love him.” the waitress set down my new drink in front of me and I immediately started drinking.

“Of course you love him, is he stupid?”

“Yes. Absolutely stupid.”

“If it were me I would never try to find someone else to dance with. I’d just sit here in the booth with you because there’s no one better.”

“Thank you Fred.”

“Don’t call me Fred.”

“But it’s your name?” I said feeling my brain get a little cloudier.

“I like when you call me Freddie. It sounds cute and I like it.”

“Okay good to know. Freddie it is then.” I said smiling at him.

“But I like Frederik too sometimes. Just not so much Fred.” he scooted closer to me in the booth and laid his head on my shoulder.

“”Okay I’ll keep that in mind.” I said bringing my hand up to run through his hair. “You doing okay Freddie?”

“I’m okay. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay now.”

“Now?”

“I’m okay now that you’re here.”

“Oooh gotcha.”

“I always feel okay when you’re around.”

“I feel good when you’re here too.” we were quiet for a while just enjoying each other’s company. He put his giant hand on my thigh at one point and I didn’t want him to move it so I just kept being quiet with him. 

“Hey (Y/N) do you want to get out of here?” he asked suddenly.

“What why?”

“I don’t want you to see what’s going on over there. Please don’t look.” I looked anyway of course and saw Auston tangled up with some girl, kissing her. 

“Jesus Christ.” I said running my hand through my hair again before punching the table really hard.

“Hey no don’t do that. I don’t want you to hurt your other hand.” he said grabbing it and slotting his fingers between mine.

“I’m just so frustrated I’m sorry.”

“No sorry. You have every right to be frustrated.”

“Will you come home with me? I want to be there so if he comes home he won’t fuck her in my bed. But I want you with me. Please?”

“Of course let’s go.” he motioned for me to lead the way and I did. We walked the short way back to my place and I held his hand the whole time. Even when we got back to my house I didn’t want to let go of his hand.

“Do you want other clothes to change into? You don’t look very comfy.”

“I would if that’s okay.”

“Come on.” I dragged him into my room and pushed him down on the bed. “Hang on.” I looked through Auston’s drawers and found some pajamas for him. When I turned around Freddie was in just his boxers. I couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful man sitting there in front of me.

“If you take a picture it’ll last longer.” he said giggling at himself.

“Fuck off it’s not my fault you’re a god sitting there in my room. Put some clothes on.” I rolled my eyes but kept looking making him laugh. Once he had on some pants and I had changed we went back to the livingroom. 

“You’re handling this awfully well..” he said quietly holding your hand again.

“I’m really not. I’m so upset and frustrated Freddie. This fucking sucks. He’s cheating on me too. That man really doesn’t love me at all, does he?” I asked annoyed.

“I don’t think so but I don’t know. Not how I would treat someone I was in love with and married to.”

“It’s just so stupid.” I said kicking a pile of hockey magazines onto the floor. “Fuck now I have to clean that up.” I got up to go clean but Freddie pulled me back to him by my waist. I let out a squeal and fell back into his lap.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell Auston I did it. He won’t be mad at me.” he mumbled into my shoulder holding me tight making me relax a little. “You need to get this frustration out somehow.”

“I know I do.”

“You could always take it out on me.” he offered quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“There are lots of ways to let out frustration.” he said kissing the back of my neck.

“Oh! Oh..you mean like doing stuff?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Freddie you’re drunk.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you out in whatever way I can.”

“Don’t tempt me like that..”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to do stuff like that all the time and you saying I can is just..a lot of temptation that I shouldn’t listen to probably.”

“Well maybe not but if you need it the option is here.”

“You’re going to forget about this in the morning Freddie, I know it.”

“That doesn’t mean it isn’t still how I feel.”

“Don’t say things like that if you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it.”

“I think you should go to bed Freddie. Come on let’s go to the guest room.” I said getting off of him and trying to pull him up. It didn’t work of course and he just laughed before standing up and wrapping me up in his arms.

“You’re so damn cute.” he said laughing again.

“Stoop.” I said blushing. “Let’s go now that your giant ass is up.”

“Hey you love my giant ass.”

“Well I mean you’re not wrong.” I said trying and failing to wink making him laugh again. He let me lead him down the hall to the guest room and once we were there I pushed him down onto the bed. “Bedtime Freddie.”

“I don’t want to go to bed. I want to stay awake and talk to you.”

“You can talk to me tomorrow morning hun.”

“But I can’t tell you how pretty you are and stuff.”

“Of course you can. Just not around Auston. Goodnight Freddie.” I said giving him a kiss on the forehead making him break out into a big smile.

“Goodnight cutie.” 

The butterflies in my stomach were insane and it took everything in me to not jump into that bed and just kiss him properly. I sat down in the living room and waited for a while to see if Auston was ever going to show up back home. The whole time I was trying to convince myself that nothing was happening and that he loved me but when he finally got in at 5 in the morning the whole convincing process was out the window.

“Oh hi (Y/N) what are you doing up?”

“Oh hi Auston. I was waiting for you.”

“That’s sweet of yo-”

“But clearly I fucking shouldn’t have since you’re sneaking in at 5am with hickeys and reeking of perfume!” I yelled interrupting him.

“I don’t have hickeys.” he said firmly. I went over to him and ripped his shirt open.

“Then what the fuck are these asshole?!”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“YES IT IS!”

“I didn’t sleep with her.”

“I don’t believe you for one fucking second Auston Matthews.”

“Why.” he demanded.

“I can literally see that the hickeys go down past your pants so she definitely had you naked and that’s too fucking much. Kissing her was too fucking much. Hell, even leaving me to go find her to grind your dick all over in the club was too. Fucking. Much.”

“(Y/N) let me explain-”

“No! Hell no! There’s nothing to explain here Auston. You cheated on me. Because what? My legs weren’t working? Seriously? Because you  think so much that I don’t love you even though that’s the biggest fucking lie in the world?”

“(Y/N) pleas-”

“NO! I love you more than anything in the world and you just proved to me that you really don’t give one single shit about me.” I let a tear fall from my eye as I continued. “I was fine with you being awful to me and saying mean things to me. I was dealing with the angry violence. I even made excuses for you when you broke my arm. But this is another level of not caring about someone. You never fucking loved me in the first place.”

I walked away from him towards our shared room and started packing my stuff.

“Wait I broke your arm?”

“Yup. When you were mad at me for being ugly and sloppy to see you off for your road trip.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Would it really have mattered at all?” he was quiet and I just nodded. “Yeah that’s what I thought.”

“What are you doing?” he asked looking at the ground.

“I’m packing my things Auston.”

“Wait what why?” he asked panic in his voice.

“Because I’m staying somewhere else.”

“No you aren’t!” he screamed grabbing me.

“What are you going to do? Hurt me again? Break my other hand? Go for it Auston. Fucking go for it. You’ve hurt me more in the past couple months than anyone has in my whole life. I’m fucking done right now.”

“So that’s it then? You’re just leaving me?”

“For now yes.”

“For now?”

“I still love you more than anything Auston but you’re treating me awful and I don’t feel safe here anymore.”

“That’s bullshit you’ve always been safe with me!” he yelled. I held up my cast and he shut up almost immediately. “So is this it then..are we done done?”

“I don’t want us to be. But at this point that’s up to you. If you can fix yourself and stop fucking cheating on me maybe we can give this another try but I can’t keep going like this.”

“Why don’t you just hurt yourself about it again then? Isn’t that what you always do when things don’t go your way and you ‘can’t handle it’?”

“Fuck yourself Auston Matthews. Fuck you. You’re absolutely awful.” I screamed at him crying again. 

“I’m going out. Go see your fucking therapist and calm down. I’ll see you when I get home.” he yelled through the house.

“Maybe you should see a therapist you fucking psychopath.” I yelled after him. Shortly after that I heard the door slam. I finished packing my bag with a few outfits and stuff trying to calm down but I couldn’t. I kept thinking about what Freddie said the night before about taking my frustration out on him and I found myself walking to the guest room with purpose. He was on his phone when I got to his room and opened the door. I walked right over to him on the bed and climbed in with him.

“Hi I was going to come out in a minute to see if you were okay-” I interrupted him by sitting on his lap and bringing my lips to his in a rough kiss. He groaned against my lips and kissed back almost immediately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers in his hair while his grabbed my waist holding me there as if he was afraid I would disappear if he didn’t. It was a lot different than kissing Auston. Freddie had a lot of more control of what was happening and he was honestly an expert kisser. It was perfect. He broke away and I whined a little at the loss of contact. He rested his forehead against mine trying to catch his breath.

“Sorry.” I said quietly.

“You are never allowed to say sorry for that. Holy fuck. Are you okay? I heard what happened.”

“I’m sorry we woke you up. I was so mad I forgot you were in there.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay.” he said hugging me closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“No. Can I come back and stay with you? I know that’s so much to ask but I absolutely can’t stay here. He slept with her Freddie. He tried to sneak in with hickeys all over him and act like nothing happened.” I got upset and hit his chest lightly in frustration. He pulled me in for another softer kiss and I melted into him.

“Of course you can come back home with me. I’d rather you be there than somewhere else.”

“Is it because of what Auston said about me hurting myself?” I asked looking away from him.

“Absolutely not.” he pulled my face back to look at him and he gave me another soft kiss. “I want you there because I care about you a lot and I want to make sure you’ve got someone so you don’t shut yourself away from the world.”

“I do do that sometimes..”

“I know you do.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you though.”

“That’s good. Let me get up and get dressed and then we can go back home okay?”

“Alright.” I got off of him but stayed in the room. He didn’t seem to care as he took off the pajama pants without hesitation. I got up and went over to him hugging him from behind and leaving kisses on his back.

“You’re very touchy this morning.” he said trying to make a joke out of it but I got nervous anyway pulling away fast. 

“Sorry.”

“No no no get back here.” he caught me and pulled me into his front. “I didn’t say not to. You’re okay.”

“Okay.” I pulled his face down and started kissing him again. It lasted for a while before he broke away panting.

“We need to stop this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No it’s not you (Y/N). I’m getting too carried away and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh okay.”

“Go get your stuff ready while I finish getting dressed so we can go okay? I’d rather be at my house.”

“I’d also rather be at your house.”

#leafs #maple leaf imagine #maple leafs #freddie x reader #Freddie Andersen #frederik andersen #auston matthews

[springday-aus]

College!AU with BM [Matthew]

moodboard link

Group: KARD 

Member: BM / Kim Matthew

Genre: fluff, romance 

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: 2k 

fun fact: college!Matthew is a psych major 

despite looking like a buff ass gym trainer 

like all psych majors, he was interested in the human mind and how it works 

it’s just so…. complicated... iT’S cOOL 

in high school, he was thinking about sports, like physical education because that’s… what he’s been good at…… 

but then one intro to psych class in junior year totally blew his mind away 

Matthew: “think about it…. we’re all so different from one another, but we’re all actually the same because of the way we all think” 

Taehyung: “bro, it’s literally 3am, I am tireD” 

for real though, he’s really excited about learning new things about how our minds work 

lowkey probably does social experiments on all of his friends once he learns about it 

(small things like taking off his hat first on purpose to see if anyone else does it too—he ain’t about to traumatize them like Little Albert) 

some of his friends think the whole psych major suits him because he likes to talk to other people 

but like he’s part of the rehabilitation psychology route…… 

…….. not the whole therapist counselor route lmao 

plus he doesn’t have the voice for it because we can all hear him before we see him 

anyways, he wants to help patients that are suffering disabilities that include the psychological impact of their problems

rehabilitation suits him though, because he cares about the wellbeing of others, physical and mental

basically Matthew is just a big ass softie and it shows 

other than the whole psych major thing, he’s actually part of the dance team 

he was gonna join some sport since he did it in high school 

but then he was like 

DANCE TEAM 

so there he is 

speaking of fitness, he goes to the gym often 

like…….. almost everyday 

if you ever need to find him, 9/10 times he’ll probably be at the gym 

all y’all knew this was coming: GYM SQUAD 

basically, he met some dudes who all like to go to the gym and now they’re friends—there’s even a group chat 

Matthew: bro, y’all got some big tiddies  Matthew: forget gym squad, we the Big Man Tiddie Team  Wonho: why do I feel that it’s directed at me  Matthew: <3 Seungcheol: istg Matthew just wanted a Wonho fan club  Hyunwoo: …… how do I leave a group chat?  Jungkook: I need new friends 

anyways

Matthew’s got a real frat boy aesthetic

‘cause like he’s friends with almost everyone and bro and dude are part of his main vocabulary

ironically enough, he ain’t an actual frat boy tho

he’s got this whole image on campus that makes him look like he’s some type of suave player who doesn’t care about anything but his bros

it’s probably due to the fact that he’s a big dude and that’s….. real intimidating

and also the backwards hat and… tank tops…..

he knows what people say about him…. and he just tries to ignore it

**cue Jiwoo ready to throw hands EVERYTIME**

but like….. that’s not him

again: he’s a big ass softie—he’s a big dude with a mushy inside

and it’s just a shame that only his friends know how genuine he is

he’s got this thing where he’s constantly supporting others and sometimes he forgets about himself

actually for a while now, he’s had some….. sleeping issues…..

it makes no sense because his physical health is like up

so it could be a mental health thing

but, for almost every night this week, he’s just been walking around campus from like midnight to around 4am

it’s actually how he meets you

he’s been doing random stuff since he hasn’t been able to sleep

like he’d go to the campus gym, walk around, hang around the open dining halls, or like walk around his dorm hall because he’s got nothing else to do

the thing is, you’ve been having some sleep issues too

it’s probably because of stress and all the assignments caught up with you and now you’ve found yourself lying in bed awake for hOURS

so you’ve been up and about during odd hours as well

one night, at like 2am, you decided to go down to the kitchen of your dorm hall

according to google, tea or milk is a good way to get some sleep

so you decide to get yourself a lil cup of tea and as you wait for the water to boil…….

someone……. just……... shows up………

….. it’s Matthew :))))))

and like despite how hot this dude was…….

you…….. were startled…….

not without good reason, because it’s like……. late at night and this mysterious dude shows up outta nowhere

you kinda thought were gonna die because he def looks like he could kill you

until…….. he just smiles at you

Matthew: “oh hi”

you: “....... hello…….”

Matthew being Matthew just chats you up because he likes talking to people: “can’t sleep either?”

you: “yeah, tea is supposed to help though”

Matthew: “maybe it’s just me because it didn’t work that well for me”

you: “well, maybe it’s the amount, size does come into play”

Matthew: “I guess size matters huh” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

you: I barely know this man but why is he like this

so, that’s just kinda how it goes

y’all just continue talking and swap some secrets on how to get some goddamn sleep

and…... you think that’s it

like it’s just a one time thing…..

but then

the next night, you run into him again

except it’s like 4am

the tea didn’t work last time, so you head down to get some milk instead and….

you run into him again…….

and like…….. he all sweaty….. from the gym……

Matthew: “oh hey”

you, underneath your breath: what the fu c k

the same thing happens again and y’all have a nice conversation about your lives and all that stuff

you get to find out some pretty cool stuff like

how his friends call him BM

and that he’s in dance because he’s interested in music and rap

he also loves BoA

and he is a protester of pineapple on pizza

he gets to know you too

like your major and how you got into it

your hobbies and interests

and your friends all seem really cool

the more you two talk, the more he likes you

so this whole meeting up at the kitchen at odd hours became a thing

it didn’t happen like every time, but it happened rather frequently for like a few months or so

you did see him once on campus in broad daylight, but like

he didn’t see you

because ……. you kind of avoided him

like, what if this is just like a night kinda thing

Matthew is super chill, but like you know…. what if you got that wrong idea and stuff

anyways

one day… you just stop showing up

IT’S NOT BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANNA SEE HIM

it’s just that…… you really need actual sleep because you can’t keep barely functioning like this

so your friend is like, ever heard of melatonin?

and gives you these pills that really do the fucking trick

you slept for a literal day

like 24 hours

a full ass 24 hours

since then, you’ve had a decent sleep schedule

but it meant not seeing Matthew

you didn’t really think about it because he’s got a lot of friends

why would he care about some person he meets at night

that sounds wrong but y’all get the picture

here’s the thing though

he’s worried like

maybe you are getting the sleep you need and deserve, but like

he misses you

(even though it’s literally been like a week or two)

Somin: “looks like somebody’s got a crush~”

Matthew: “your point?”

so when he spots you on campus, he can’t help but to yell your name across the quad

….. and dramatically run to you to give you a hug

Matthew: “how’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in like a couple of weeks?”

you: “have you noticed that my eye bags have lightened?”

Matthew: “gimme your secrets”

and like…. Matthew’s friends are like, hello, we are here

they actually invite you out to go eat with them

so y’all go to the dining hall and end up there for like three hours

and Matthew walks back with you to your dorm room

Matthew: “so today was fun… but maybe…. we could go out on our own next time….?”

you: “...... like…… hang out???”

Matthew: “a date”

you: “o h… uM yEA H—I mean, sure, whatever’s cool bro”

he waits for you to go in and then when you’re sure he’s gone….

“I HAVE A DATE WITH A HOT ASS MAN. HOW THE F UC K.”

**cue your startled roommate**

after your first date, it all kinda pieced together

so…... first of all, gym dates

whether you’re for them or against them, you gonna get pulled in eventually

if you work out, y’all can work out together

couple exerciSES

if not, he gonna use you as gym equipment—kinda joking but not really because he can and WILL lift you

oH and because y’all have sleeping issues, you’ve been helping him out

y’all can actually sleep when you sleep together

noT LIKE THAT GET CHA NASTY ASS OUTTA THE GUTTER

(but lowkey sleep and sleep sleep, ya know ;)))

okay but actually he’s like a giant, warm heater—you’ve been able to sleep a bit more lately thanks to him

turns out Matthew’s a cuddler…… whether it’s sleep related or not

because Matthew’s real touchy

like no shame touchy

I’m talking arm around the waist or shoulder, hand-holding, lots of kisses all over your face, or just flat out hugging you from behind

you know… one of THOSE couples

Taehyung: “y’all look like penguins waddling in the cold”

Matthew: “penguins are cute, this is good”

you: “let’s just hold hands like normal people”

Jiwoo: “Matthew isn’t normal people”

I’m joking

but like, his friends all love you

because you make him really happy and take care of him

and vice versa, obviously

you’re always prepared to fight someone for him

some asswipe: “he’s probably just a fuckboy”

you: “AND YOU’RE IRRELEVANT YOU BIG PIECE OF SHIT SAY IT ONE MORE TIME ASSHO—”

Matthew, tosses you over his shoulder: “babe calm down”

you: “I REFUSE TO. THIS BITCH WANNA THROW HANDS. I’LL FUCKIN—”

………… yeah, Jiwoo and you get along real well

even though you have those fight instincts

he’s real protective of you 

he won’t hurt a fly until it does anything to harm you

anyways, it’s just a beautiful relationship

you can bet he’s bragging about you somewhere…. or everywhere……

Matthew: “my partner is the cutest”

Seungcheol: “....... and what does this have to do with the weights?”

Matthew: “it has everything to do with weights”

oh um, by the way, Big Man Tiddie Team

Matthew says he loves you but like……. you suspect Wonho is your competition

Wonho: “hi, it’s nice to finally meet you”

you, narrows eyes: goddamn it, I understand why now

I don’t know why, but I see him interpreting your dreams…. or at least attempting to

it might just be the whole psych major thing

ayyways, you probably are gonna get spammed with odd messages from Matthew at some point

but it’s cute—he’s like a child

Matthew: look at this dog  Matthew: can we get one  Matthew: SMOOTHIES  Matthew: I got these couple hoodies by accident  Matthew: I have an idea—you, me, road trip, beach  Matthew: this reminded me of you  Matthew: it’s cute Matthew: like you

even though you’re dating, he’s probably gonna use pick up lines on you 

especially the psych ones….. because he thinks they’re funny…….. 

Matthew: “can I buy you a shrink?” ;) 

Matthew: “wanna teach me about interpersonal relationships?” 

Matthew: “can I get your number in my Long Term memory?” 

Somin: “if you’re being held captive, send me a signal” 

it’s okay though because he’s cute 

y’all are cute 

you: “you know, I almost thought I dreamt you up because I haven’t slept properly in so long” 

Matthew: “I guess you can say, I’m the man of your dreams” 

you: “............... you’re lucky you’re hot”

#admin grandma #grandma aus #aus #fluff #kard #kard bm #kard imagines #kard scenarios #bm #big matthew #kim matthew #kim jin seok #kim woo jin #bm imagines #bm scenarios #kim matthew imagines #kim matthew scenarios #college!au #college!kard #college!bm #college!matthew #group: kard #member: bm #member: kim matthew

[retrauxpunk]

Rain, I ask you: ALL the quarantine asks!

Animated character that was your gay awakening? not really an ‘awakening’ so much as a ‘hint’, but Azula from Avatar: the Last Airbender ... yep

Grilled cheese or PB&J? GRILLED CHEESE

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? I don’t really experience this mood, but my go-to watch is the vlogbrothers YouTube channel

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? if it’s a low-key/work outing, lager or cider (esp the ones with non-apple fruits too); if it’s getting more serious (lol) or with closer friends or a more celebratory mood: vodka with sparkling apple juice

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? these Doc Martens that are white with red hearts got ’em with my first ever full time design job paycheck. i did not take care of them well so they’re super scuffed/beat-up and very much not Perfectly White ... but they’re still comfy as heck, i still love the design, and they’ve lasted 3 years so far, let’s see how much longer we can make it ... also i think they’re a limited edition so i likely won’t get my hands on any replacements...

Top three cuisines? my cheap-ass answer would be, like: East Asian, South-East Asian, Western European ... but my non-shit answer is... Japanese, Chinese, Italian (ftr i’m not a seafood fan ... i just love the ramen and non-seafood stuff that japan makes hehe)

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? i have no clue

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? cold-calling strangers to ask them to do market research phone surveys (y)

Look up. What’s directly across from you? the kitchen

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a messenger bag that i got signed by Jeph Jacques of the Questionable Content webcomic that i once adored ... and I think my boyfriend has gifted me a signed Matthew Reilly hardcover.

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? curled up indoors wearing something cosy, reading and eating something delicious. playing animal crossing lol. aaaaand listening to music, a good podcast, watching stand-up comedy, drawing, getting intoxicated...

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? occasionally the standard smoked salmon and cream cheese, but i slightly prefer the meat to be, like, prosciutto

Brunch or midnight snacks? ehh fuck it, both???? both!!

Favorite mug you own easter limited edition waitrose mug, squat and round and yellow, painted/shaped like a very round chick. a Borb,,,,

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? i actually thought about this and, uh, peppermint mocha. not for everyone, slightly weird, never fitting in with the regulars/being a default, but???? obviously awesome?? also: about 65% on the mainstream/hipster scale

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) The Wombats is the artist. lyrics are either “Let's dance to Joy Division / and celebrate the irony / Everything is going wrong, / but we're so happy” from Let’s Dance to Joy Division or “the edge of nowhere’s such a beautiful place” from Emoticons

Fruity or herbal teas? herbal but i agree with @queenofslime, black tea is the best

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? ...do i experience embarrassment about what i like to watch on TV? i don’t know if i do, because i watch relatively few shows ... and have relatively little shame? maybe???

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? ftr i wasn’t bitter about this before reading, i had no preconceived biases against, and i was pretty open to liking it -- The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

Do you match your socks? if they’re of a really nice design then yes always, if they’re of a more standard/generic design then ... not necessarily

Have you ever been horseback riding? yes a few times ... on the last time which was like five years ago ... the lady said i was a natural and asked if i’d ridden much before, which was. flattering. and yes this is a Brag.

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) didn’t have much of a hardcore phase but i was pretty much always into fantasy ... oh wait yeah i did! i had a spy phase :)

Have you ever been to jail? to closed-down ones, yep

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? pretty great idea unequivocably, right?

Puzzles? i tend to enjoy riddles/lateral thinking puzzles, i am impartial about jigsaw puzzles. i enjoy escape rooms.

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? apple ... but elderflower if i’m feeling reckless (y)

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? young adult ... or stationery

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? Russian language :( it’s going не так хорошо

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? not sure if i have a go-to artist so much as go-to playlists i’ve made but some good ones are The Wombats and Bastille 

Where could someone find you in a museum? mammals/birds in natural history

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? i swear i was talking about this recently but i clean the fuck forgot what it was ... oh yeah, i have this short-sleeved black minidress festooned with silver buckles/buttons and also featuring decorative suspenders ... which, yes, does make me look like a sexy military officer,,, anyway it’s pretty badass and somehow it hasn’t occurred to me till now that i can just wear that every day now if i want? ftw i do get the chance to wear it, it’s just a little bit Extra so i get self-conscious. i’ve worn it a few times though. including to work. because fuck it, right? i didn’t become a graphic designer to be shy about sometimes looking like a prototypical emo/scene kid-turned-adult??? (ftr i was never an actual emo/scene kid. i lacked the requisite guts, commitment of feeling, and permissive parents.)

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? sunset-coloured clouds :)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? how about a shapeshifting feathered dragon that could range from, like, two thirds of a foot long (20cm) to sit on your shoulder, to ... the size of a massive draft horse? (but longer and thinner)

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? photos, though if i didn’t live with a partner, it might be art

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i’ve already got a meme tattooed on my body ... a private meme i have with my boyfriend, one on each leg (left: outer side, just above knee; right: outside, a few inches above the ankle)

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with ?????? is this a sidekick to a known superhero, or a superhero to act as your sidekick? also i don’t know? who are the standard heroes? i’m not up to date on this.

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? rivers or oceans

Favorite mid-2000s song i can’t decide a favourite, it’s too stressful, but one that i like is Rob Thomas’s Little Wonders

How do you dress when you’re home alone? either a t-shirt and PJ pants, or a dress (usually short-sleeved/sleeveless minidress)

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? on either side of the couch haha

Knives or swords? BOTH but ok swords.

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving hmmmmm like all of Linkin Park’s first three albums with some exceptions? hahahah

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie i don’t think i.....know any????

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? explanation, though on instagram quite often the photo and caption are unrelated

Name a classic Vine there’s only one thing worse than a rapist...

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? dumplings! as in the gyoza type.

How do you top your ice cream? that ‘magic’ chocolate sauce that hardens into chocolate. that stuff. i watched those ads all childhood long but my parents were immigrants and therefore very thrifty so we NEVER bought it iirc and then in my adulthood i got it a bunch of times. but now i live in the uk and can’t find it. and forgot it existed. and have never seen it anywhere.

Do you like Jello? the kind that’s served on a plate as a dessert? meh. the kind that are found in asian grocery stores as individual fruit-flavoured serves in little plastic cups? YES 

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? future stock prices? LOL ... or i’m gonna go with @queenofslime‘s answer again -- how others see me. it’s a great answer.

How are you at climbing trees? not............ good. i mean, i like climbing, but i have absolutely terrible upper body strength. i did bouldering for a couple months but only stuck to the first like... three out of nine difficulty levels.

#thanks!! hehe #quarantine asks #queenofslime #asks

[thatfairyfangirl]

Blind Date Chapter 3

“Bless me father for I have sinned.” Matt said ceremoniously as he sat in the small confessional. “It has been a week since my last confession.” He paused as he gathered his thoughts, attempting to find the right words for this.

“Matthew how many times do I have to tell you that the confessional is not for your personal therapy sessions?” Father Lantom half scolded as his eyes rolled behind the separation screen.

“No, I promise, this time it's actually a religion thing.” He assured him. “You see I've been seeing this girl and well she's kinda wonderful. We have fun and we seemed to really be working as a couple.”

“Seemed?” Lantom asked accusingly. “A girl willing to overlook your nightly hobby and you let her go?”

“You know you're really bad at this no judgement thing.” Matt quipped back. “And I don't know...the thing is she's not exactly a Catholic…”

“And?”

“Or even a Christian in general.” Matt added.

“And?” The priest so far was failing to see the problem here, then again knowing Matt as well as he did the girl could be an actual devil and there'd be little he could say.

“She's a Pagan father.” He clarified.

“Well now look who's judging.” He quipped back with a chuckle.

“Her words. She's very proud of it. She even  found a way to show me her tattoos of her gods.”

“And?” Matt blinked surprised, never did he dream father Lantom would approve of this.

“I'm pretty sure the bible is very clear on the subject of witches.”

“Matt, over the last few weeks i've been seeing much less of the devil out and about. I assume this girl has something to do with it.” Matt nodded, he's been so preoccupied with you that he hasn't been going on patrol as much as he used to. “This girl could be the daughter of satan himself but the fact is she is bringing out the best in you. At the end of the day that is pretty much the basis of any of all this. So stop acting like a moron and go be with her.”

“I may have really upset her.”

“Then bring flowers.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Matt drew in a deep breath of the floral aroma that flooded the small flower shop he knew. He couldn't count the amount of times he had passed by it on his way to work, never feeling a need to stop in until now.

“Matt right?” The girl behind the counter asked in a voice he found all too familiar, watching him perk up at the mention of his name. “Its Dana… from last night…”

“Shit.” He dropped his head realizing his poor luck. “Umm about last night… I'm really sorry for ruining your wedding and beating up your brother.”

“Please,” she said waving off the incident, “don't, Johnny is an asshole and deserved it. Honestly, if he wasn't my brother he wouldn't have been there.”

“Then maybe you can help me?” He asked with a sheepish smile. “I kinda fucked up.”

“Oh god...what happened?” She asked with a sigh knowing how you can be.

“Well uhh… I'm a Catholic and-”

“And (y/n) gets incredibly defensive about her religion.” Dana said with a nod, knowing exactly where this is going. “Even more so after my Evangelical brother started beating her for her heathanistic ways.” She let out a regretful sigh. “Wait right there.” He does as he is told, and soon he feels her wrap his hands around a bouquet of flowers. “They're hyacinth, her favorite,” she explained as a relieved smile brushed across his face.

“I think I smelled these at her place the other night?” Matt asked as he gave them a sniff.

“More than likely, she always keeps fresh flowers.” She explained with a smile, glad to see you found one that took the time to care.

“How much do I owe you?” He asked reaching for his wallet.

“With the way you jumped up to defend (y/n) last night? On the house. She could use a guy like you in her life.”

“You are an angel. Thank you.”

“By now she's definitely at her bakery, its on the corner of 10th and 48th, right across from Hells Kitchen Park.”

The bell above your bakery's door chimed softly as he entered. “Welcome to Magicakes! I'll be right out!” You called from the back, elbow deep in honey cake batter. Matt smiled hearing your cheery voice as he breathed in the sweet confections you surrounded yourself with every day. In a rush you grabbed a towel, wiping the batter from your shirt as you hurried out, stopping in your tracks once you saw who it was. “Oh...what do you want?”

“I want you to hear me out…” he held up the bouquet, “and I brought you these.” You silently folded your arms over your chest. “They're your favorite...right.”

You couldn't help feel your heart softening for him as he held the beautiful purple blooms out for you. “They are.” You moved to take the flowers from him. “Thank you.”

“Look, (Y/n), I'm not what one would call a good Catholic. I drink, I swear, I fight... Actually come to think of it I'm a pretty terrible Catholic.” He paused chuckling to himself. “But the last thing I ever wanted to do was offend you for your religion.” He held his hand out for you. “Please forgive me?”

You stood with a sigh as you looked him over before taking his hand, reaching behind him to flip the sign from open to close. “Come with me.. I have something I probably should have told you about ages ago.” You said as you lead him into the back, shutting the door to the kitchen behind the both of you. Once in private you lifted your shirt before taking his hand and running it over your back. He found the sin the be rough and striped with scar tissue.

“What happened?” He asked softly as he traced the small slashing scars running up and down your back.

“Johnny happened.” You admitted as you lowered your shirt.

“He did this to you?” Matt's voice lowered as rage for this guy began to boil in him. You nodded. “Why?” It didn't matter much to him. There is no reason to do this to a woman as sweet as you. But even he could see the abuse still affected you.

“Because I am proud to be Pagan, and very actively practice. He said he was trying to save my soul because he loved me.”

“(Y/n) I swear I would never…” he couldn't even bring himself to say it, just gently wrapped his arms around you. Your face burrowed into his chest as your arms wrapped around his waist.

“I know. I'm sorry. I just got scared.” You sobbed.

Matt pulled away from you, removing his glasses so you could see the sincerity on his face. “I promise I will do my very best to be as supportive of your religion choice as possible.” His words pulled a smile through your tears as his fingers gently brushed them away. “Well, there goes my plans of inviting you to Mass with me next week.” He joked, hoping to make your smile grow. “I think Father Lantom would really like you.”

You half heartedly laughed. “Well if you think I won't burn on church property maybe one day...but not next week. That's Litha.”

“Litha?” Matt asked curiously, wanting to show every effort to at least learn, to make you feel more comfortable.

“It's one of our holidays, the summer solstice, longest day of the year. Actually I was planning on inviting you. We stay up the night before singing and dancing around a fire, watch the sunrise. Then we spend the day honoring the sun gods and eating honey everything…” He smiled seeing your face light up being able to speak so freely about your religion. “This year is extra special since the Honey Moon falls on the same day.” You added with extra excitement as you made your way from the kitchen into the shop to flip the sign back to open. “I'm willing to bet the kids will make honeysuckle crowns.” You added with a chuckle.

“Wow sounds more fun than any of the holidays I got growing up...just meant an extra long service and sometimes a present to unwrap.” He said with a half laugh as he leaned against one of your glass display cases. “But I guess that's what you get when you're raised by nuns in a Catholic school.”

“Ugh that sounds horrible.” You both couldn't help laughing as he agreed.

“Oh! Here,” you paused rushing back into the kitchen, coming back with a small honey cupcake, “try this!” You exclaimed as you held it out to him. He popped the small dessert in his mouth savoring every sweet flavor of summer it had to offer.

“This is amazing! Is this for your celebration?” You nodded with excitement. “So how about after your done here we go get that lock changed and get some ice cream?”

~ ~ ~ ~

“Ok...ground rules.” You stated as you handed Matt his vanilla come. He nodded signalling he was ready to start negotiations as you took your raspberry swirl. “First and foremost...I'm only sticking around if I can start calling you my boyfriend.”

“Is this- Are we going steady?” Matt joked as he gently took hold of your arm, laughing as you childishly answered with a yes. “Good. Ok no guilt to the other for not wanting to take part in religious events.”

You nodded as you meandered through the city heading nowhere in particular. “Wouldn't have it any other way.” You paused for a moment, recalling everything about your last relationship that made you uncomfortable. “You can pray for me only if I can cast for you.”

“I'm not much for prayer.” He chuckled lightly. “Oh, here's a good one..you can't get pissed at me for my ignorance.”

“Hmm ok...but expect me to invite you. You don't have to say yes but its always a lot of fun.” You said as you reached up to give him a soft gentle kiss.

#daredevil x reader #daredevil #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader

[gryndboxstudios]

Ghost Ship Review

by Matthew Arce-Phillips

First things first, what the actual fuck?!? The movie didn’t really make a lot of sense, but I think that’s a good thing? Try and hear me out. This movie’s first scene is both amazing a stupid at the same time. I’m gonna spoil this scene because I don’t think director understood how height or angles works. And also because the movie came out in 2002 and if you haven’t seen it yet then you probably aren’t gonna watch it. Unless my words persuade you, then that would be awesome! Anyways, the first scene attempts to give us or first glimpse of how scary this movie is gonna get, spoiler, it doesn’t get much scarier than this. In a nutshell this is what happens.. We see a little girl playing with some toy, bored topside of the boat and then someone who is assumed to be the captain, asks her to dance with everyone else. There’s at least 30 people dancing on what looks like a tiny dance floor on top of the ship “Antonia Graza” and everyone is having a grand ‘ole time. Next we see a mysterious hand pull some kind of lever that then begins to reel in a metal wire that so happens to enclosing the dance floor. The tension of the wire finally breaks and, BAM the wire slices everyone on the dance floor in half! The scene is both fills with gore and suspense. At first all the dancers are shocked and no one reacts, but of course how could they? Then, one by one their bodies begin to spilt in half horizontally and we see the true chaos of the trap. Intestines, limbs, and blood fill every inch of the floor! There’s even people trying to put themselves back together! It’s a truly imaginative sight to see and I give whoever came up with that idea huge props. But then we see the little girl completely unscathed by the incident, but the captain that was dancing with her was somehow cut by the wire directly between his mouth and cheeks and we watch the top portion of his head slide off with ease. Now, I’ve watched this scene 5 times over and over, paused, then play, zoomed in, and got figure out how this little girl survived and the captain lost his head and not his body! I looked at all the other bisected bodies that surrounded them and saw no heads decapitated anywhere! I get it, she needed to be able to walk away for plot or whatever, but how are you gonna tell me that they both were in the middle of the dance floor and didn’t get cut in half?? And then to show the captain being the only one to literally loose his head??? I’m not good at math, but none of that shit adds up. 

Regardless of this confusing as hell scene, the movie the picks up 40 years later and introduces us to the “Arctic Warrior” crew, a sea salvaging team in the middle of hauling some rust bucket of a boat to port. Murphy the capitan, Epps the first mate, Greer the guy who steers the boat, Santos our Hispanic mechanic with a love of low riders, and finally Dodge and Munder the two handy men of the crew pretty much. The movie tries to emphasize how truly great this crew is at doing their job by making the boat they’re pulling start sinking and quickly fix the hole as if it was second nature to them. Alright, cool, we got it. But another weird thing, I couldn’t tell if the captain had a Irish accent or not. His name was Murphy, kinda Irish, but he talked so low in most of the scenes it just sounded like he was trying hard to make the accent but couldn’t really pull it off.  Finally we get some story as to what the movie is gonna be about. Some scrawny looking guy named Jack Ferriman approaches the crew as they’re drinking, enjoying themselves and explains that he found an unknown ship out in the Bering Sea and convinces them to find the boat, bring it back to port, and get rich. Simple enough right? After sometime the crew finds the ship and realize it’s the “Anontia Graza”! The ship from the beginning of the movie, who would’ve expected that! After some exploring around the ship one of the crew members falls through the floor and everyone scrambled to pull him up! The girl that’s barely hanging on to his dumbass sees a little girl in the background and freaks out. From here on out she sees the girl in different areas of the boat and the movie kinda shifts into a thriller of sorts. Like I mentioned before, the movie isn’t really scary. Like, at all. There’s a bit more gore-ish parts here and there, but nothing that screams BOO to your face. As they explore the boat a little more things start getting bad for the crew. They realize the cruise ship needs some repairs before bring it to port and the tug boat they arrived in needs repairs as well. Epps falls into an empty pool, hits her head at the bottom and somehow manages to spill a tiny bit of blood from the 6 foot drop. But does not have a concussion at all... oh ok. The blood is then sucked into some bullet holes and I’m assuming this awakens the spirits? At least that’s way it seems. Because from here the other ghost start acting on the crew. After a few scares Epps and Ferriman find a vault full of golden bricks which they all think this is their ticket to easy street, so they all say fuck it a decide to take the gold home instead of the boat. Semi good choice. We see Santos and Greer making some progress on repairing the boat as the other prepare to move the gold from boat to boat. But, just as Santos has finally fixed the problem, some ghost or what have you opens a gas valve dispensing it in the air. As Greer turns the key the boat fucking explodes destroying the boat, killing Santos, and stranding the remaining crew to the “Antonia Graza”. I’m gonna give a quick rundown of events only because the ending gets bad then good then bad again. So, Murphy who was a recovering alcoholic runs to the captains quarters to snag a drink while the rest of the crew argues on what to do next. Obviously, fix the boat and try to make it home. Greer come with the idea to make a raft with is just fucking stupid. Dodge is mad at Ferriman for showing them the boat, Munder doesn’t seem to care about anything but the money, and Epps is just trying to keep everyone together. In the captains quarters Murphy sees the dead captain and finds some photos showing how the gold got on board of the cruise ship in the first place... along with a picture showing a mysterious man that freaks out Murphy. Greer gets seduced by an Italian singer ghost that tricks him into plunging down an elevator shaft and lands onto some broken rebar. Murphy racing to find the crew starts to hallucinate images of the new crispy Santos and believes Epps is trying to kill him. Ferriman knocks out Murphy and they all put him in some tube thingy waiting for him to sober up.  The rest of the crew then begin to fix up boat, starting with patching a giant hole in the side then pump out the water the has flooded the lower half of the boat. Epps finds Greer then the ghost girl from earlier leads her back to the little girls room and explains what really happened that night. And it’s a bunch of bullshit that’s what happened! Pretty much, some of the crew start poisoning passengers, murdering them with guns in an attempt to steal the gold. It’s a bunch of back stabbing as the crew eventually turn on themselves leaving just the Italian singer who we find out was manipulated by........ JACK FUCKING FERRIMAN!!!!! Get it? Ferriman? Ferry man? I’ll explain in a bit. Anywho, Epps runs to free Murphy who has now drowned in the tube thingy, but somehow he carried that picture with him and it’s reviled the picture is of Ferriman. She scrambled to warn the rest of the crew that Ferriman is some ghost or something but is stopped by him. He doesn’t know she knows just yet. Oh yeah, Munder dies getting sucked up into a gear and gets torn to pieces. Dodge is put in charge of watching Ferriman, Ferriman tried to escape, Dodge shoots him. Epps finds Munder’s corpse by the water pump. Now it’s finally shown that Epps knows Ferriman was on the ship 40 years ago and asks for an explanation. Now here is one of my biggest problems with the movie and why I felt the need to explain everything fucking thing in this movie. Jack explains that he works someone “downstairs” and that he collects souls to make them happy. This is his job because he has lived a life full of sin. Pfft, who hasn’t buddy. Now is where I explain the Ferriman shit. In Greek Mythology Charon is the Ferry man that carries newly dead souls across the Rivers styx. But, In Jacks explanation he makes it seems like he works for Satan himself. Seriously, what the fuck? How are they gonna try to combine two different religions and expect everyone to except that? I just could t believe it when I heard it. That explanation was just terrible... After this, Epps defeats Ferriman, the souls are freed, and she drifts out into open sea only to be picked up by another cruise liner. Back on shore she’s loaded up into an ambulance and she watches the crew of a cruise ship load luggage on board and among the crew members is fucking Jack Ferriman in the flesh. Of course, the circle continues. I know it seems like I’m complaining a lot but I actually did enjoy this movie. It wasn’t super terrible but not super good either. When looking into this movie I read that originally the movie was going to be a physiological thriller called Chimera, but for reasons unknown the script underwent tons of rewrites and became Ghost Ship. I remember hearing about his movie when I was a kid and thinking it was dumb, but of course only because I was too scared to actually watch it. Now that I think back to it I’m glad I never watched it. I probably would shit myself in the first 30 minutes. Oh yeah, I hated scary movies as a kid. It’s definitely a movie that has not aged well at all. The cgi and backdrops are pretty bad looking. But when you see the open waters it’s beautiful, that I don’t mind. Personally I’d probably watch this movie one more time if I ever needed time to kill or was just bored. It held my attention the first time really well, but I’m not sure about a second. I give Ghost Ship 6 bacon and cheese Whataburgers outta 10. I ate one while watching the movie and I also ate while writing this review.

Movies by Matt is the newest part of GBStudios’ team, looking to provide entertaining and informational reviews on all our favorite movies. You can follow @movies_matt and Gryndbox Studios on Twitter!

#ghost ship #movie review #movies by matt #gryndbox studios

[kuroandtheguys]

QUOTES (as in things i’ve said, not necessarily original things but things ive said.) FROM MUN HIKARY,HER DAD AND CLASSMATES AS RP STARTERS:

"get your fuck boy out of my house"

"Listen here you fuck nugget"

"don't touch me you bafoon"

"leave the soul alone"

"WHERE IS SPACE DAD"

"i got some shoes from my drug dealer, i dont know what he laced them with but i've been tripping all day...."

"Sure thing Chew-Brocka"

"the beatings will continue until morale improves."

"looking to protect yourself or deal some damage?"

"The egg-salts?"

"much cheese cake"

"FIGHT ME"

"DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE!"

"baby,princess, dear,dearest. Do me a favorite and get your head out of my ass"

"Whats up gays!"

"Its 1 get the fuck up you lil shit"

"its a porch...not a deck....."

"when one plays the earth game twister one finds out more about the other's than they wanted"

"pain is your reward for being near me."

"oh it's the nasty crime boi"

"follow the yellow-dick road"

"these jokes arent the only thing that suck"

"stupid controls! I said walk to the side not jump off the cliff"

"_GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY GODDESS!"

"Zarkon unhand my space father"

"sadness is merely a part of life."

"BON BON YOU WANT SUM FUC"

"they're gonna play Mario cart"

"that's how friendship dies"

"ID BE THE TINY ANGRY GUY, I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME"

"Space Dad jokes are out of this world"

"space dad part of a balanced breakfast"

" i wonder whats over here, oh its plot"

"not all wood resists magic damage"

"destroy us all!"

"i could pee in a bucket and tell him it's beer."

"i would fuck lance because who wouldn't"

"ITS BECAUSE IM A DEMON ISINT IT? THATS RACIST!"

" IF YOU LOVED ME YOUD KILL THE SPIDERS"

"Fite me!"

"fuck Shiro because, just look at him. Who wouldn’t?"

"I am tumblr senpai"

"Why is he grinding?!"

"They bonded by beating the shit out of eachother."

"ah ah put those grabby hands away." (wow without context that sounds really dirty)

"if I have social anxiety and YOU have social anxiety then who's going to order the food?"

"now if they made space dad shaped mac and cheese i wouldnt mind so much"

"it could be 1 of 2 things metal leg or morning wood"

"i like chicks not dicks"

"why cant you just say vagina?"

"Ok so if you ever need a break from your mech with a watersport kink let me know."

"I love you" "dude thats gay..." "we are litterly having sex"

"watch your mouth you little shit"

"yes daddy dearest"

"COME HERE MY SPACE CHILD"

"Let me hug you space child"

"i must adopt this lost space child"

"soft and warm space dad"

"omg your so extra"

"hgn those claws he could just rip me apart"

"we can go inside"

"i wouldn't want to expose you"

"he's see more of your girlfriend than you have"

"we had a bonding moment i punched you in the face!"

"I ate my school"

"this limp noodle"

"PRAISE MUNWAY"

"You wanna ride my huge dragon"

"and i don't know....somethin' bout friendship..."

"Tid be a pitty if i killed him off"

"you've been shanked" "..with a ruler..."

"did you just giggle your boobs at me?"

"It was an earth shattering shit"

"I am the pumpkin gardian"

"Hold my beer and watch this mother fucker

"Careful nuts make you swell, just ask your sister"

"My dad the crack dealer"

"balls deep in an au"

"Don't fuck on my expensive leather couch you cunts"

"He's a perceptive hoe"

"blubbering balls of teenage awkwardness"

"What can I say except~ FUCK OFF"

"I am the alpha dad"

"thats a kick in the danger clam"

"your gonna get your weiner stuck in the baby gate"

"I'm taking you back to the pound"

"I'm so sorry the princess had his feelings hurt"

“Hey demons, it’s ya boi, Satan. Give me the homie back”

"my name is stan, im satan"

"I Came Here For A Good Time And All I Got Was Porn"

"it went from warm to freezing because snow miser is shitting on us"

"Near death can be fixed with ducktap"

"I don't remember what I did with my pants"

"It smells" "You smell" "Your face smells" "You almost got punched I'm the face"

"Bueno bear"

"MAKE THAT ANGST YOUR BITCH"

“Gently bullied him into submission”

*Holds up fishing pole and bubbles* hookers and blow.

"To hard, to thick. I'd get hair stuck in my teeth" "...don't ever say that in public."

"Even lesbians like babies"

"My dad is like a fun vampire"

You are a steampunk blood warrior with a plan"

"You are a steampunk blood warrior with a flan"

"You've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth lesbian"

"You just made the inquisitior gay" "Yes" 5 minutes later "So what else us on the table" "The inquisitior"

"Did...did you just call the Cat a butt plug?"

"not like that you kinky fuck"

"kinky princess Matthew holt and his fluffy sidekick Mr whiskers."

"DONT MAKE ME KINKSHAME YOU AGAIN" "MAYBE YOU'LL KINKSHAME ME HARD THIS TIME"

"I'm gay and I'm ready to party"

"You founded a country on cocaine and prostitution?"

"You know what looks delicious" "What" "Your tight ass" "Your a hoe, like ben" "_ lemme smash"

"Human Sacrifice is always an option if you aren't a weak little bitch."

"Last time you had an imaginary friend I'm pretty sure it was a demon"

" I don't want to be propositioned by you in private!"

"Don't vore the dogs"

"Surely not everyone was kung-fu fighting" "They were" "..we're they fast as lightning?" "No they were slow, Tai Chi mother fucker"

"There’s a train of thought but it’s been de railed and Billy the kid robbed it."

"Shes just where burgers go to die"

"Im a priest to our lady of sin and this is my seeing eye dragon"

"Hello nightmares my old freind"

"they took some scaly lizard dick"

"I would go to Satan jazz club"

"Gandalf the off white"

"Stop kicking my puppy"

"You sleep darted that man in the dick"

"i didn't hit puberty...i just kinda shook it's hand"

"Tall, dark, warm and edgy. The perfect dad"

"Cerberus thinks he's a lap dog"

"thank god for incredible upper body strength"

"No ship wars. I multi ship like an adult" "Am I an adult I poly ship?" "Yes"

" my flaccid dagger"

"He's running around like a squirrel on crack"

"Could you please acidenly flex somewhere else your distracting me"

"It is the first day of Christmas fucker"

"Don't make me beat ypu with egg nog"

"Why did it suddenly become British?"

"You've been BLUNDERSTRUCK"

"Slav tellaported from another dimension to punch you in the arm"

"Floating kingdom of dabalon"

"I like my nightshade pomegranate flavored"

"dont dab on my boobs"

"The first vampire ran into the sun"

"I need a pocket sendak"

"Four score and 7 years ago our founding pirates"

"Been fueling up on....."

"Life is a highway?"

"the lyrics are coke and whiskey dumb ass"

"all i want for Christmas is the dreamiest daddy."

"HAIL KURO"

"patience yields fucking"

"Gray haired man on a house coming through" "I tottally thought you said gay haired man"

"Oh... mood"

"You wrap presents like a blind t rex"

"i take a look at me enormous-"

"white privilege."

"I swear to all of the gods I'm going to climb you like a fucking vine"

"The pellar, he uh.... loves his goat"

"whispers goat fuckerrrr"

"sleeping with slytherins" "dont you mean sirens?" "same fucking thing"

"No one told you life was gonna be this-" "Gay?"

"I am truly the hobo on top of the polar express" "No your the homo ontop of the polar express" "Can't she be a homo hobo?"

"Kinkshame me harder"

“Kinkshame me harder spicy papa”

"Male griffin returns and is like what the fuck did you do to my wife"

"WITH YOUR SHAG CARPET ID BE GETTING HAIR BALLS"

"Drug cloud please disperse"

"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"

"BITCH I OUTRANK YOU"

"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"

"Right in the paw patroler"

"Stuffed em up Mr patato head's butt"

"feed me"

"i swear if you start singing-"

"must be blood"

"here she gose again"

"must be fresh"

"i dont wanna hear this"

"FEED ME, FEED ME SEYMORE~"

"Get on the fucking dragon or I will leave you in this tower"

"Vivia le roi" "LONG LIVE THE REVALUATION" "No.... long live the king"

"I'm a senior my vote counts more"

"I am gentle snek"

"The boner wizzard is a girl" "That's a dragon" "Girl dragon"

"my father the actual 5 year old" "thats right 5 times a whole bunch"

"why..... is your icon a crotch buldge?"

"Layers" "Like an oinion" "Yes and their all gonna make you cry"

"You blushing" "I'm pasty and I burn in the sun anytime I go out." "So your burned..?" "Yes fucker"

 "You should be careful dancing around with those daggers when I'm throwing fire" "It won't hurt me. It's friendly fire"

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

-this bitch.....empty

- G o d okay so we all know I'm an absolutely useless person when it matters, right? that’s common knowledge. that’s public record. 

- When I got there tonight I tried to help out with wires and lights and shit and I am just so,,,,,,,,,beyond inept oh my God I felt so bad

- Couldn’t tape properly....couldn’t find the right wires TWICE so Tom ended up having to come find them himself anyway when he asked me to do it solely so he wouldn’t have to run back and forth......couldn’t set the lights properly.....couldn’t remember where to plug shit into even though I was told moments before.....hit the wrong buttons causing people to think the lights were broken for a solid fifteen minutes.....somehow ended up completely covered in saw dust.....like I’m truly such a hindrance omfg

- it was???? 900 degrees in the theater???? For no reason???? I had the fucking chills yesterday so I dressed in a sweatshirt this wasn’t fair

- They didn’t get through act one...the world is shocked

- The director tried to move 1 (one) set piece and then said ‘I hate doing stage crew, I don’t wanna do stage crew anymore’ and Tom, in a whisper of barely-concealed rage, was like ‘I don’t want to do stage crew and set design and lights and sounds and projections and-’ and I cant even finish this list bc I cant remember every thing he does but I was just dying honestly this poor guy needs to escape omfg

- The opening scene for ‘Magic To Do’ and shit. okay. listen. It opens on a black screen with whitehanded gloves coming out and then Tom’s putting a black light on them, and THAT looks awesome. But....moving the screen and the screen itself look like garbage oh my God

- The kid she cast as Pippin. listen. He’s funny and I like him. If you’ll refer back to my in the heights posts, he was Sonny

- ...remember how I also said the kid playing Sonny was very talented but seemingly untrained and thus the weakest link in the main cast

- O H M Y G O D

- Listen, he’s good, but the kid that understudied for Pippin yesterday was a much better singer, and he literally didn’t even know any of the songs he was singing...I just have QUESTIONS, you know?

- Steven, who’s playing Charlemagne...his mic just decided it Didn’t Feel Like It today

- Oh my God so the two Leading Player’s right. Okay, the one kid, I’ve known him since he was like, ficking 9 or something and he was practically born on a stage. Amazing projection. His mic died halfway through the rehearsal and we literally didn’t even notice. He’s solid. But the GIRL. I love her but she’s so INCONSISTENT. First she’ll sing too quietly, so we’ll turn her mic up....and then she’ll decide to be loud, so we have to turn it down....over....and over....and over...oh my God. And considering her scene partner is SO LOUD like it’s just. Messy. 

- “It’s not even six’o’clock and I already don’t wanna be here“

- A lot of the dances have potential to be good but it just seems like no one in the cast,,,,,knows them

- So much high school musical and bye bye birdie and rent was sung???? But the most unholy moment was when Tom suddenly remembered we were in 13 together a million years ago and fucking went “We alllllll haaaaave....a little more MAAAAGIC TO DO” I almost screamed the worst mashup I could imagine and now its STUCK IN MY HEAD

- There were so many moments where Tom would be like ‘they need to _____’ and it fell on death ears and then less than five minutes later someone else would suggest that idea and he’d be like “OH. OH DO YOU THINK THATS A PLAN???” lmao

- asdfgh they got in their places for ‘War is a Science’ and Tom was like ‘lol they way they’re set up reminds me of La Vie Boheme’ but then they....started doing the dance and we were like WHAT THE SHIT bc it was TOO CLOSE to our La Vie Boehme lmaoooo

- I’m so hung up on the decapitated head that talks to Pippin like I really don’t remember that ever happening and no one will tell me why it’s happening omfg

- The directors baby grandson is Always Here but I got to ‘talk’ to him tonight and like....words cannot truly express but this is literally the most adorable child on the planet??? He deadass has anime eyes, guys, wtf

- We’re trying to get Charlemagne a laser pointer wish us luck 

- “Just give him one and see how long it takes the director to fucking notice. It’ll be the last show I promise” 

- We had an actual discussion on why purple was a ‘royal’ color 

- I swear apart from like the two or three kids I knew for a long time and was like in other shows with,,,,,,these kids hate me or sm like TEENAGERS, man, omfg

- “Ahhh, yes....the company’s official old lady wig”

- “Oh my God. Oh my God it looks like a fucking TED talk”

- “I...okay, kid, I GUESS that was technically a falsetto-” 

- Tom: “If she moves my fucking speaker, I swear to God. Don’t-”

   The director: *all but kicks his speaker out of the way*

   Tom: “JUDITH ESTELLE-”

- I had to explain who Matthew McConaughey is 

- Tom decided today, after 8? 9? years of knowing me, to suddenly start calling me “Moll” but when he’s across the room no one can fucking tell if he’s saying “Moll” or “Mom” so we were confused half the night

- “How do you not know who the Visigoths are?” “Listen I went to Catholic school we just kinda lightly touched on the Crusades okay”

- I got physically ill from how hungry I was

- “Drowsy Chaperone is much better at being a meta musical” “It’s newer, it learned from Pippin’s mistakes”

- There’s been so much staple gun drama for some reason and my mother literally ran into the directors husband at Lowes because of it

- “Imagine going to your Grandma’s house hoping for a fun and meaningful visit but then she just sings for like five minutes then has a group of men carry her away”

- Oh my God,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the scene where Pippin’s like banging everyone in the country

- So what’s SUPPOSED to happen: He has a dance with a bunch of girls, some guys come out and join the mix, the dancers pair off and get into ~~~suggestive~~~ poses until Pippin becomes tired and disgusted and decides Sex Isn’t The Only Reason For Living

- What’s ACTUALLY happening: He’s got this weird dance with like twenty girls, right...And then six boys come out...and line up and they do this lean thing while Pippin’s on his knees (”he’s EXPERIMENTING”) and then the girls have another dance break but it’s just like. random dance moves. Like, I’m NOT game for having a bunch of teenage girls pantomime the fucking kama sutra out here but the dance makes no sense and with the fact there’s only six ensemble boys who do Barely Anything it just reads less as ‘Pippin tires of sex’ and more as ‘Pippin gets chased away by a bunch of lesbians who were sending a lot of mixed signals’ asdfghjk

- All the body parts were thrown onto and taken off the stage by the tiny little kid playing Theo and it shouldn’t have been so funny but it WAS omg

- This cast is NEVER CENTERED onstage and it’s driving me INSANE like there’s always a few stranglers on stage right and it looks so sloppy but my complaints are falling on death ears rip

- The foam sun....took like 20 minutes to hang up

- it’s there for O N E  S C E N E

- I can’t type anymore I'm tired and literally still have saw dust on me but anyway: still not considering throwing myself into a fire pit

#pippin vagueblogging 2k17 #pippin #musicals #theater #molly mumbles

[romaniassexdungeon]

J’ai tout ce qu’on rêverait d’avoir (Shiro x Coran)

Summary: Skint student Shiro signs up to a Sugar Daddy finder. Ironically, of course.

Pairings: Shiro/Coran, Sven/Slav, past Alfor/Coran

Warnings: death mentions, adult humour

Notes: Thanks to @phyripo for listening to me ramble about this terrible idea

I don't even know how to explain this. Ever start writing something for a laugh then get weirdly invested in the characters and their backstory? Also I fucking love Shiro x Coran unironically fite me.

AO3 lonk

...

He was doing this ironically, Shiro told himself.

He’d made one damn joke to Matt and in the one hour he’d set aside to take a nap, had been inundated with… websites. Websites he hadn’t even known existed, let alone been aware of how abundant they were. Thanks, Matt. He was now a little less innocent. And had a little less faith in humanity.

In all honesty, Shiro should probably just message Matt back telling him to fuck off and get back to his assignment. Or do a late night food shop. Or do literally anything that wasn’t browsing sugar daddy websites. But his body was on autopilot and he probably couldn’t stop himself if he tried.

He didn’t actually want a sugar daddy, right? It had been a joke! He’d just wanted to vent his frustrations at having yet another asshole treat him like an intruding bug at work because God dammit it wasn’t his fault if a meal wasn’t up to the customers’ standards, or was taking too long. Did he look like some verbal punching bag or something?

Also he was doing his masters degree now, and accumulating more debt than he knew what to do with. He wasn't sure he could pole dance with one arm either.

Could he actually get a sugar daddy to agree to pay off his tuition fees? Or at the very least his maintenance loans and groceries.

No because he wasn’t actually after a sugar daddy!

Most of these websites only accepted female sugar babies anyway. He did find a few that he could join, but for the love of all things good in the world he wasn’t about to for real.

Shiro leaned back in his desk chair, imagining, just for a moment, what it would be like to have a sugar daddy. Horrible. It would be utterly horrible. The image of him wheeling some 90 year old around Abercrombie and Fitch then having lunch at some overpriced boutique restaurant whilst everyone glared at him judgementally because they would all know what the fuck was up was not a pleasant one. And then they’d go back to his penthouse apartment overlooking the Thames and-

Shiro thought he would throw up.

This was a terrible idea.

Thankfully, his phone beeped and gave him an opportunity to think of something else for a second, even if it was his best friend’s lasy ass messaging him on discord from the next room.

DankMattMatt: Yo you check out those links yet?

Shiro scowled at his screen.

DankMattMatt: Reply, coward.

Shiro decided to not do that. Five minutes of staring at the login screen of one of those websites he was not going to join later, and Matt had something else to say.

DankMattMatt: oh MY GOD ARE YOU SIGNING UP TO THEM?????

Shirohfuck: nOOOOOOO

DankMattMatt: you aRE!!!!!

He wasn’t! He swore it!

Shirohfuck: Yes but ironically???

DankMattMatt: ironic sugar daddy?

Shirohfuck: yeh

DankMattMatt: moronic sugar baby

Shirohfuck: No.

Shirohfuck: I can’t think of a good username????

Unsurprisingly, his mind was devoid of any intelligent thought as he told himself over and over again he was mostly curious about what the website looked like once you were set up on it, how it worked and what sort of questions he would be asked.

And maybe to see if there were some guys on there that didn’t look one shag away from a heart attack.

DankMattMatt: hmm

DankMattMatt: How about Takashi_Shirogains

DankMattMatt: because you’re always at the gym working on your gains???

Shiro snorted. The last person who should be talking about gains was Matthew Holt.

Shirohfuck: that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard

Shirohfuck: I love it!

Shirohfuck: I’m not always at the gym though???? Just when I need to de-stress.

DankMattMatt: So all the time??

Fuck you, Matt.

Shiro ignored him and typed in his new, terrible, username. It didn’t matter, really. He was just here to have a look around, and see just what kind of people signed up to this and what kind of messages he’d get.

He was a man of science, and therefore curiosity only came naturally to him.

DankMattMatt: oooh, I got it!

DankMattMatt: fifty-shades-of-shirogrey

Shirohfuck: NO!!!!!!

The next page seemed to relate to the bulk of his profile, either what people could see or what the site would base his matches on. He didn't fucking know. It also looked longer than some of his assignments.

Shirohfuck: holy fuck that’s a lotta questions

DankMattMatt: bring your laptop out here dude I need to see this

Shiro sighed, scooped up his laptop and downed the last of his beer. The idea of signing up to a dating site for a laugh with Matt didn’t seem so bad. He’d probably liveblog it which technically counted as writing down their findings, and therefore it was an experiment not anything else. For science!!!

When he trudged into the living room of their flat he found Matt still working on his drinks cans Christmas tree, a weird tradition they’d had since they’d been freshers, because Matt saw someone do it on the internet and therefore needed to try it himself, the walking meme.

Oh well, saved on buying an actual Christmas tree.

Shiro wondered whether they’d bother buying real decorations this year or, like always, just balance Matt’s pokemon toys and alien waifu figurines on it again. Probably the latter. Who said a Japanese guy and a weeb couldn’t be best friends?

Whilst Matt was occupied with sellotaping energy drinks and beer cans together, their other flatmate, Sabhajit ‘Slav’ Pawar was typing away at a laptop, probably doing something more productive than signing up to - thanks, Matt.

“Oy, sugar pup,” Matt drawled, pulling tape out of his hair, “while you’re up, grab that bottle of Absolute in the cupboard and two shot glasses – wait, Slav?”

“Wot?”

“Wanna watch Shiro sign up to a sugar daddy finder?”

Slav raised an eyebrow at Shiro, who flushed an ugly shade of maroon and buried his face in the kitchen cupboard.

“You know that there’s a 38% chance this is the reality where I fail to hand in my assessment on time?” He did seem to be looking over with interest though.

“Those are pretty good odds,” Matt reasoned, “and besides, how often do you get to see Shiro try and pull creepy old men?”

"Oh, next to zero." Slav nodded, but he still looked unsure. Matt groaned.

“Just bring your work over here. And Shiro? Make that three shot glasses.”

“I’ll definitely be needing it,” Shiro placed the vodka on the coffee table, sweeping empty cans onto the floor and ignoring Matt’s protesting.

“So, if it works out for you, should we all think about signing up?” asked Slav, settling down on Shiro’s other side, just to make sure he was sandwiched between the two terrible enablers.

“You’re dating my brother,” Shiro reminded him, “you’re not allowed.”

“Well I’m gonna,” said Matt, “unless, you know, it doesn’t work out for you Shiro. Our pioneer. Boldly going where no Holt or Pawar has gone before. Or at least I hope my sister has never been on these sites.”

“Thanks,” Shiro scoffed, then his smile fell; “I kinda feel bad, you know? I don’t wanna catfish people.”

“You’re not catfishing anyone,” exclaimed Matt, “you’re literally filling in your profile honestly!”

Shiro chewed his lip. “But what if someone sees my profile and falls in love with me? And I’m just doing it for a laugh.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Yeah I don’t think it’s that kind of website. Slav?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s the chance of Shiro meeting his soulmate on here?”

“Zero point five percent.”

Matt grinned. “See? Now, what profile picture should you use?”

They soon decided a selfie Shiro took on a lads holiday to Ibiza last year really fit the bill, given that he was shirtless and at the beach. It screamed 'I suit luxury, please pamper me'.

“Don’t worry,” Matt assured him, “you’re the best-looking guy I’ve seen. Ever.”

“And with this picture showing off how strong you are,” added Slav, “there is an 80% chance you’ll find a millionaire willing to date you within seconds.”

Shiro wasn’t so sure. “Guys, d’you think a picture without my prosthetic would be better? What if it puts people off?” That being said, why the fuck did he care?

“Shiro,” Matt placed a hand on either side of his face, “I’m gonna be honest with you: if someone has a problem with your prosthetic, they’re not worth your time. Like, even if they’re millionaires, don’t bother. They’re scum and you don’t need them in your life.”

Shiro stared straight into Matt’s eyes, at his steely determination, and nodded. “You’re right, bro.”

“I know I’m right! And besides,” added Matt with a wink, “there are probably people into prosthetic limbs. Like, I bet there’s websites and everything.”

How in the fuck – Shiro was speechless. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know further.

“Well that’s a load of shit,” he mumbled, turning back to his profile.

“I’m fairly certain it’s what Slav has,” commented Matt.

“I just think his arm is cool!” Slav cried, a little too defensively. Shiro wondered if he was qualified to launch himself into space yet.

“Whatever,” he grumbled, “I’ll just keep the picture.” He still had a lot of bullshit questions to get through before he could start nosing at other people’s profiles.

“What’s next?” asked Matt.

“Age, location, simple enough.” Financial information? He chuckled at that. “Where’s the ‘broke as shit’ option?”

“Just pick the lowest bracket I guess,” offered Matt. “Minimal, yeah that sounds about right. Hmm, build?”

“Is there a ‘sculpted’ option?” asked Slav. Shiro snorted.

“Athletic, buddy.” He clicked the box, hoping the profile pic suggested as such; he’d been on some strong cocktails and donner kebabs for the entire week. “I need a heading, apparently, like a title?”

“Space daddy,” said Matt immediately.

“I’m looking for a daddy, genius,” Shiro’s face fell; “I don’t actually have to call them ‘daddy’, do I?” A couple of his exes had taken to calling him that and he'd soon acquired a slight distaste for the word.

“Space puppy?”

“Why do you keep calling me that? Pup?”

Matt scoffed. “Don’t you even know sugar bowl terms? A sugar pup is a male sugar baby. So you, now.”

“I wouldn’t call myself one yet,” Shiro groaned, “the profile’s not complete. There’s still an opportunity for me to pull out.”

“Oh I think there’ll be a few opportunities for you to pull out,” Matt commented, then, when Shiro groaned and cradled his face in his hands, slung an arm over his shoulder, “you kinda walked into that one, buddy.” His other hand was used to execute a terrible high-five with Slav.

“I know and I hate it.”

The three soon decided ‘lost space boy’ was probably a better header.

“Hey you can add more photos,” Slav commented.

“Nice, I guess.” And so Shiro wasted another five minutes trying to decide which photos made him look the most athletic, and handsome. He wanted a wide range of messages, after all, to collect the best data. Science!

“I don’t have children,” he said aloud when they reached the next page, “unless we count you too.”

“Please don’t,” whined Matt, “we’ve both hit on you – that’s weird!”

“Now you know how I’ve felt for the past half hour.”

“Smoke?”

“Nah.”

“Drink?”

“Yes please.” Shiro took another shot before checking the ‘casual drinker’ box. Matt and Slav just judged him silently. Shiro ignored them, filling in his education level instead.

“Oh, an ‘about me’. How fun.” Shiro never knew how to fill out those damned things, but with the help of his two terrible friends, he managed to cobble together a not-totally-terrible description of himself.

Hi, I’m Takashi Shirogane, and I’m a 25 (well, 6 if you only count leap years) y/o postgrad student studying astrophysics. I’d love to become an astronaut one day, or failing that help launch astronauts into the void.

In my spare time, I can usually be found at the gym, or exploring the city. I’m particularly fond of the science museum! I’m a hard worker, and my idea of fun is a well-earned rest, or reading a good book. I like my alone time, but I also value strong friendships with my wonderful bros. So even if we don't hit it off romantically, we can always maintain a friendship!

And now to tell the potentials what he was actually looking for in them.

“Money,” said Matt firmly.

“You can’t put that,” argued Slav, “you have to beat around the bush!”

“I know, damn.”

Shiro ignored them, wondering just what he’d want if he was being serious about this, and began to type.

What I’m looking for is someone to have deep conversations with, someone who will make me feel special and cared for. I don’t want a walking credit card, but someone I can have a fun, adult relationship with. Someone with similar interests would be a bonus too! Not looking for short term or FWB, sorry.

“Not bad,” Matt gave a whistle as Shiro added a few tags, and that was it. Profile complete.

“Well now what?” asked Slav after ten seconds of silence.

“We wait for the daddies to roll in, duh,” Matt rolled his eyes, though Shiro had to wonder how long that would take.

“Oh wait,” he muttered, leaning closer, “my profile hasn’t been activated yet. They have to check all my information, I guess.” And with that thought in mind, the trio dispersed. Shiro made his way into the kitchen, Matt promising to call him if he got any messages, and threw a prawn tikka masala in the microwave. Slav was finally released from his curiosity hostage situation long enough to continue his assessment.

Dinner made – at 1 in the morning – Shiro settled down to have a browse whilst he waited. Apparently, he could make a Wishlist of things he wanted to be bought, but decided against it, much to Matt’s protesting that he needed a new laptop. Shiro told him to go back to his Christmas tree of disappointment.

A two hour nap later, and Shiro had ten messages.

The first message was asking for nudes. The second wanted pictures of his feet, of all things. Shiro decided not to reply to either.

Shiro, Matt and Slav amused themselves by taking turns to do dramatic readings of increasingly creepy messages until they were blushing up to the ears. This continued with each new message, until they got to one that wasn’t as awful. Thankfully.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I'm attracted to you like the Earth is attracted to the Sun-with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I’m also a fan of your muscles!!!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I don’t know why I said that

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: both those things, really!!!!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I’m so sorry!!!!

“Fuck that’s actually sweet,” Matt commented.

“Yeah, he seems nice! Or shy, at least.” At last, someone he would actually like to message back.

“Might want to tell him you’re not mad then,” said Slav, “before he completely has a breakdown.”

“Oh, right.”

Takashi_Shirogains: Hey dude don’t worry!

Takashi_Shirogains: Honestly this is the sweetest message I’ve gotten yet??

“Should I send him a silly chat up line back?” he asked.

“Go for it!”

Takashi_Shirogains: Every time i look at you i feel like an astronaut...your beauty makes me float.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: !! aww!!

“I should probably check what he looks like,” Shiro commented, hurriedly clicking on this strange man’s profile. Hopefully this guy wasn't a munter, or old as fuck. There had been a tiny profile pic, yes, but hardly visible, just an orange blur. Like Garfield's pubes or something.

Now he could see quite the collection of photos.

“That’s… that’s a pretty big moustache,” Matt noted.

It was. It nearly covered his mouth, bright ginger to match his hair. There were two other things Shiro noted immediately, the first one being his love of brightly-coloured shirts – sequins, swirls, the lot. The second one was that his smile: no matter what picture he was in, he always had the goofiest but kindest smile Shiro had ever seen. It certainly put him at ease.

"Could you fucking imagine that thing tickling your balls," exclaimed Matt, still on the moustache, apparently.

Slav gave a whine. "Matt, please!"

"Oh yeah! I'm sure your boyfriend knows all about that."

Shiro mimed throwing up whilst Slav scratched at his patchy beard and moustache. "That's my actual brother you're talking about!"

“45 years old,” Matt commented, ignoring them, “could be worse.”

“Yeah at least he’s not 70,” agreed Shiro. He wasn’t that bad looking either. Yes, the moustache was ridiculous and he was somewhat older, but there was something charming about him, charmingly handsome, even. He looked like he’d be equally able to provide a good joke and the exact comforting comment you needed to hear.

“Even his name is eccentric,” said Slav, “Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe. Who has four names? Especially ones like those.”

“I’ve never met a ‘Coran’ in my life,” Matt added, “didn’t even know it was a name; thought it was a book, to be honest. Then again, if my parents named me that I’d probably end up being a little eccentric.” He already was a little eccentric, but the other two decided not to comment.

Shiro just stared at the photos. Everything about this man was batcrap insane and, for some reason, he absolutely loved it. Maybe he just gravitated towards weirdos, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Dude he’s fucking loaded!” cried Matt, jostling his shoulder and pointing at Coran’s earnings, or what he claimed were his earnings. Shiro tore his eyes away from Coran and his garish shirts to actually study his profile.

Okay, he was a casual drinker too, interested in men, didn’t smoke. Under number of children he’d put ‘prefer not to say’. Shiro wondered what that meant. Did he have like ten?

“Woah, he’s a CEO of his own company,” he commented, “congratulations to him, I guess.”

Matt looked at him curiously. “A little infatuated, are we?”

“He seems nice,” Shiro reasoned.

“Yes but what has he put about himself?” asked Slav, scrolling down.

Matt snorted. “So what’s the probability of this guy being a serial killer?”

“Five percent.”

“I’d risk it. For that money.”

“Did either of you see he was a widower?” asked Shiro with a pang. Poor guy. How did he even bring that up in conversation? Well, not right now, for starters.

“What if he murdered his husband?” asked Matt. Slav looked at him in horror.

“You can’t say that! That’s horrible!”

“It might be true!”

“It’s highly unlikely!”

Shiro just busied himself with reading Coran’s profile and holy fuck did it confirm the man was the strangest human being on the planet.

Erm, hello there, weary internet traveller!!! I, Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe, would like to welcome you to my dating page!! I hope you find out what you need to know here, but to help, let me tell you a little about myself. I must say, it is quite the saga!!! I shall try not to tell every story here though, or we’ll have nothing to talk about ourselves!

Forty five years ago, on quite the historic day, I was born in Wellington, New Zealand, with a dream. Although, I probably didn’t have this dream as a baby, I probably dreamt about shitting myself and drinking milk. Anyway! The dream was education!! As a boy, I was fascinated by the world around me, and beyond. My interests were varied, but all relating to science. Then again, I suppose everything relates to science, in a way. I kept a collection of crystals and interesting rocks, whilst simultaneously looking to the stars with my little telescope. I also had a collection of fossils I’d found, and it was safe to say my parents were probably a little relieved when I packed my bags and went off to university!!!!!

It was there that I studied astrophysics whilst maintaining a love of drama and the arts, naturally. In my time I’ve travelled to the US to work with NASA before settling down in the UK, where I remain to this day. Not counting holidays and business trips, I suppose.

I am now the CEO of New Horizons, a company that makes science kits and equipment for the curious child!!!

It has not been an easy climb to the top, and I’ve had to deal with everything up to fighting a bear!!!! Yeah, I don’t live in the US anymore for a reason. I also had some trouble with a shark on holiday to Australia once and it didn’t end well. For the fucking shark!!! Shame, really, I hate hurting animals but you must do what you must in the name of self-defence, right?

I would say I was closest to my grandfather as a boy, and he taught me all he knew about geology! And everything, really.

As well as science, my hobbies include museums, watching plays, writing screenplays, water skiing, butterfly collecting, yodelling, flying, engineering and dance. I also love spending time at the beach!

I speak various dialects of English, as well as Māori, French and Mandarin, and apparently, I can do quite a convincing range of accents! I also love learning new languages, so if you speak a language I do not, never fret! I will soon learn it for you, my future dear!

I'll also just say it right fucking now: I will drink you under the table!!!

My favourite colour is baby blue and my favourite films are ‘what we do in the shadows’ and ‘hunt for the wilderpeople’.  I listen to anything really, though I prefer classical and jazz. I have heard some of your young people music, though, and I must say I’m fucking impressed!!!

Oh fuck, it seems I’m running out of characters. Well, I hope that was enough to glean something of my personality.

Cheerio!

“I love him,” Matt muttered, “like, I wish he was my uncle or something. Or even just a guy I could go on the piss with. I’d probably end up dead but it’d still be the best night of my life!”

“I want to listen to all these stories of his,” said Slav, “he’s probably a genius!”

“Not as big a genius as you though,” said Matt, “is there anything you don’t know?”

“How to be emotionally stable?”

“Dude, same.”

“I’m speechless,” muttered Shiro, silencing them both. This couldn’t be a real person, surely. His mind seemed incapable of working after reading about Coran’s life, and yet, he was pretty sure he’d be willing to believe it all.

Also, pray tell, what the fuck Coran?

“What does he want though?” asked Slav, “what is he looking for in a person?”

“Himself, probably,” Matt smirked. Shiro ignored him, and read on.

I suppose what I want in a romantic partner is romance, plain and simple - a deep bond and something long term. If that sounds intimidating, I’m sorry and I hope you find someone more to your tastes!!!

I can be incredibly doting, I promise, but I guess I also want long conversations about science and our lives too. I also would like someone not opposed to more cultural days out, though I’m open to fun of a more simplistic nature too!!!

“He means fucking,” said Matt.

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Or going to a club, maybe?”

I’m also partial to discussions regarding conspiracy theories, and am always interested to know which ones you believe, and which you find completely ridiculous. If you have any experiences with aliens, I’d love to hear all about them too!

“Shiro, run. He’s probably part of a cult.” Matt’s jaw had almost hit the floor by now.

“I think he sounds interesting,” Slav sniffed. He, for one, loved a good conspiracy theory, and was certain this was the reality where alien invasion was inevitable.

I don’t want to dwell on the physical, but I do have a thing for muscles!

“He’s your soulmate,” said Matt with such determination that Shiro couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“He is brilliant,” he reasoned.

“Why don’t you message him back then?” asked Slav.

Fuck. He’d forgotten about that little message notification.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: You still there?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I haven’t scared you off, have it?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Ooops, in that case I’m sorry!

“I’d have messaged him quicker if his profile wasn’t so damn long. And terrifying.”

Takashi_Shirogains: No no! I was just reading your profile!

Takashi_Shirogains: Interesting life!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Why thank you!!! All true, I can assure you!!!

Takashi_Shirogains: good to know!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: nice to meet another scientist, may I add!!

Takashi_Shirogains: same!

Takashi_Shirogains: nice to meet someone who doesn’t want dick pics

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Now I never said I didn’t

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I’m joking!!!!!

Takashi_Shirogains: good to know omg

“He’s not joking,” Matt insisted.

“Shut up.”

Takashi_Shirogains: so what brings you to the sugar bowl?

Takashi_Shirogains: I mean I signed up for a laugh but you seem nice so?

“I had to be honest about that,” he explained, “I’m not catfishing this sweet old man!”

It was imminently clear from Matt’s face that Shiro had said something dumb as fuck. “Okay, firstly, you’ve used all your correct information, so it’s not catfishing, still, and secondly, maybe he’s catfishing you. Also he’s on a website in the hopes of basically paying people to date him.”

Shiro gave a pout. Although he hated to admit it, Matt had a point.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Sugar what?

Takashi_Shirogains: sugar bowl

Takashi_Shirogains: you know, what this whole scene is called, apparently. Idk that’s what my roommate said anyway

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: scene?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: like, online dating? I’ve never done this before, I have to admit.

Matt snorted. “He’s either senile or majorly taking the piss.”

Or both, Shiro supposed.

Takashi_Shirogains: …

Takashi_Shirogains: like… sugar daddies and sugar babies??? This is what this website is for??? it's not my kink but i'm not judging???

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: hold on I need to google some things.

It took a full minute to receive Coran’s reply.

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: …

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: ..,

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: my

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: my son said this was a website for successful people

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I was wondering why no one I matched with seemed to be in the same bracket financially

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: not that I have a problem with that! It just confused me

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: Takashi????

Shiro wanted to reply, but Matt was buried in his chest, laughing with tears streaming down his face. Slav was on the floor, and Shiro wasn’t sure he’d ever seen the guy laugh so hard. He himself was certain he’d have a ten-pack by the time he’d stopped laughing.

Takashi_Shirogains: OH MY GOD

Takashi_Shirogains: you poor man!!

Takashi_Shirogains: are you oka y????

Takashi_Shirogains: Also call me Shiro everyone else does

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I’m so embarrassed!!!!!!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I asked my son and he fessed up but he won’t stop laughing!!!!!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: This is almost as bad as the time he added gimp masks to my shopping list and I actually asked the guy at tesco if they sold them because I didn’t know what a gimp mask was.

Takashi_Shirogains: how in the fu

Takashi_Shirogains: ck

Takashi_Shirogains: holy shit

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: yeah, that sums it up pretty nicely, Shiro

“So… how do you feel about being a stepdad?” asked Slav, “your sugar daddy might not be a sugar daddy but he’s at least a dad?”

“Fuck, he has a kid.” Shiro blew his tuft of hair out of his face, sinking back into the chair. He honestly didn’t know what to make of that information.

Takashi_Shirogains: so you have a son?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: I have 3 kids

Takashi_Shirogains: holy fuck

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: yaa I didn’t want to put it on my profile because it might attract creeps

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: sorry if that puts you off but I should mention my kids will always come first???

Takashi_Shirogains: yeah no I understand! It just came as a little shock but I don’t mind!!

He wasn’t sure he didn’t mind, but that would be something he’d have to think about later.

Takashi_Shirogains: how old are they?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: a little younger than you actually. My oldest just started uni!!!

“At least you’re not gonna be a toyboy who’s younger than his own kids,” Matt reasoned.

“Never call me that again.”

Takashi_Shirogains: so you don’t need me to babysit?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: haha no!!

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: oh, you weren’t expecting an actual sugar father, were you?

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: sorry to disappoint you

CoranCoranGorgeousMan: although I could try that if you want?

Takashi_Shirogains: no it’s fine! Like I said, I signed up for a laugh. Uni life got me broke and all

Takashi_Shirogains: also it’s sugar daddy omg

Shiro didn’t know what happened, but somehow he ended up talking to Coran throughout the night, eventually passing out on the sofa long after Matt and Slav had dragged themselves to bed. They talked about themselves, their lives and Coran’s children, and when Shiro woke up the next afternoon, he felt strangely giddy and lightheaded. He'd signed up ironically; what the hell happened?

#shiran #coran #vld shiro #takashi shirogane #matt holt #slav vld #coran hieronymus wimbleton smythe #coran x shiro #voltron fanfic

[werenzki]

Auston Matthews #7

Anonymous said:I have an Auston request if you're willing to take it!! Auston is known for his playboy ways and he meets a girl via mutual friends, they hook up but keep talking after and he realizes that he actually really likes her but she's hesitant cause of his reputation. (It doesn't have to be smut cause of the hook up, you could probably start after they hook up you wanted)

Anonymous said:Auston Matthews imagine where the reader won't date him bc of his reputation but he gets drunk and she sees a different side of him??

A/N: oh how i love being able to get two requests done in one imagine :)) also i 100% got inspired by @jveseys auston imagine that i had recently reblogged, so you can thank her for getting my ass in gear and actually writing an auston imagine lol

Word Count: 2,759

"Are you really going to sit here and pretend you didn't sleep with that hot piece of ass?" Your friend joked in a low voice. It took everything inside of you to not turn and smack her hard on the arm for her comment. Instead you settled for rolling your eyes and taking a sip through the straw of your vodka drink.

It had been only two whole weeks since you and Auston had hooked up. Fourteen whole days of you replaying the night in your mind. From the way he muffled his moans to his tightening grip on your hips as the sex came to an end - like literally. Best orgasm ever. Auston mentioned something along those lines too.

That night wasn't really supposed to end that way, you knew his reputation, he was a player and he knew it too. Hence the 'sexy' look he was giving some blonde at the bar. But one thing lead to another, you got kinda desperate after seeing an old hook up of yours with his new girl and after some petty grinding against Auston you ended up being him back to your place. Flash forward to tonight, two painful week later, and Kappy was still dragging you out to come out with his teammates.

"Would you shut up," you hissed to your friend as she eyed up Auston, "it was a one time thing," you grumbled under your breath as the blonde Auston was amusing threw her head back with laughter.

"As if," you friend huffed and finished off her drink quickly, "I know you've been getting yourself off to memories of that one time," she said.

"Shut up," you narrowed your eyes at her. She simply shrugged and gave you an innocent look before turning to the table beside us and throwing an arm around Willy - her favourite person during our nights out. She was still hoping for that one night with him.

As she wandered off with Willy to the bar and Annika and Kappy were in their own world beside you, you stared down at your phone. Opening snapchat, you noticed your streak with Auston at the little timer beside it. Your heart just about jumped out of your chest - stupid, you know. After holding back from rolling your eyes at yourself, you flipped the camera to yourself and somehow got the dog filter to show up with the help of flash and gave the camera a toothy grin before sending it to Auston.

After watching a couple snapchat stories, including Kappy's of him drunkly taking a video of him and Annika, you went off to Instagram. Despite the time, your selfie you had posted only half an hour ago was blowing up. Cue the confidence boost in three, two, one - refreshing the page you were ambushed with likes and comments. You smiled but it quickly fell as Auston's snapchat name popped up on top of your screen.

Tapping it, you opened the app and then the snap. For ten seconds, you were blessed with a dog selfie from that hot piece of ass - the caption across read 'vodka slim right?', before you could respond to tell him yes he was standing in front of you.

"Thanks," you said with a smile as he set your drink down in front of you.

"You're welcome," Auston nodded and took the seat across from you.

"Where's the blonde go?" You asked, the question slipping from your mouth before you could even think twice. Past hook ups didn't ask about present or future hook ups, it was like an unspoken rule.

Auston's lips turned up into a smirk - that same smirk you were familiar with from when he had your practically begging two weeks ago. It was a weak moment, but it worked out in your favour. "I'm sure she'll be back, I'll be sure to let her know one of us is interested in her," he joked.

Rolling your eyes, you sipped your drink before speaking up, "you looked pretty interested a minute ago over there," you said while pointing behind him where he once stood with the blonde.

"Guess I'm a pretty good actor," he shrugged and took a long swig of his beer.

"Guess so," you muttered under your breath.

It was only a single second of silence between you two. One you spent stirring the ice in your drink while Auston leaned forward towards you. Peering up through your lashes, you took in his smile - it was no longer than 'sexy' smirk but instead a boyish smile you were lucky enough to catch every now and then.

"Bet you'd rather be home in bed watching some crap TV show, huh?" He asked.

"One Tree Hill is not a crap TV show," you replied.

"Sure," Auston teased. You reached across the table and smacked his arm lightly. Of course you noticed how good his arms looks in the tight black tshirt he was wearing tonight.

You looked across the table and narrowed your eyes at the boy sitting across from you. He eyes were glassy, his cheeks just a little rosy and he flashed that boyish smile yet again. Auston was drunk. You recalled earlier, upon arriving at the club, when Willy slapped down his cash and bought him and Auston shots. Lots of shots. Now, here we sat with Auston drunk and you only slightly buzzed. You kinda liked it, you thought as a smirk curled up your lips.

"You're drunk," you stated while smiling at Auston. He shrugged in response.

"And you're not," he countered back. And of course, you shrugged back at him. "Drink up, get to my level, Y/N," he chuckled while pushing your drink towards you.

"I don't know if you can handle me at your level," you joked but took a sip of your drink anyways.

"I'm sure I can handle anything you throw my way," Auston said.

You inhaled and brought the glass up to your lips again, peering at Auston over the rim as his smile turned into a smirk. There were those painfully hot flashbacks yet again. Snapping out of it, you finished off the drink and placed it onto the table.

"Come, I'll buy you another," he said while standing up and finishing off his own drink.

"You brought the last one to me?" You said in a questioning tone while furrowing your brows together.

"Yeah, and that seat is forming to your ass," Auston said. Your mouth gaped open in shock as he grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the chair you had grown comfortable in. Auston chuckled, "I mean, it's a nice ass and all-"

You cut him off by smacking him on the chest and letting go of his hand to do so. Then you lead the way, purposely giving him a chance to see how nice your ass really was. Once you got to the bar, Auston was two steps behind you and waved over the bartender.

Auston ordered two vodka slims, causing you to think they were both for you but as they were placed in front of you two he took one for himself. You leaned back against the bar and smiled before sipping from the straw. Auston finished paying for the drink and looked over your way, pulling his brows together at the devious smile on your lips.  

"What?"

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker," you sung out the rhyme.

Auston rolled his eyes, "that's a myth," he said.

"Sure, tell me that when your throwing up tomorrow," you teased.

"I will," he smirked and then drank more of his vodka.

All of a sudden the music remixed into your favourite song at the moment. You sipped more of your drink and just about spit it out as the song played throughout the club. Putting down your drink, you pointed up to the sky as if the speakers were right there.

"This is my favourite song," you stated excitedly.

Auston chuckled and then smiled, he put down his drink as well and then lazily grabbed onto your hand. "Then let's go dance," he said before leading the way.

"Wait, really, Auston," you groaned out as he made way through the crowd to get to the dance floor.

Auston completely ignored your grumbling and groans of him dragging you out to dance with him. It wasn't that you didn't want to dance, it was the fact you were somehow being sucked into his playboy ways yet again. You didn't want to get involved with a guy like him. Sure, he was sweet and you kinda liked his smile, but you knew his rep way too well. And that just wasn't really your type - okay, maybe it was some nights.

You swayed your hips to the music and danced along as the beat of the song picked up. Once the course took over and the DJ mixed it up some more you found yourself closing your eyes and twirling around on the dance floor as the music took over. Or maybe it was the liquor.

With your eyes closed and the rhythm of the music moving your hips you weren't even surprised as you felt those familiar rough hands find your hips. This was why you were complaining as Auston took you to the dance floor. You couldn't help but grind back onto him, which caused his fingertips to dig into the exposed skin of your mid drift.  

"Mierda(Shit)," Auston grumbled from behind you. You had to take a deep breath at the sound of another language rolling off that tongue of his.

With a short sigh, you turned around and let your hands fall down his chest as your eyes locked on his, "no hablo español(I don't speak Spanish)," you said with a smirk. It was all you remembered from those high school classes.

"Gracias a Dios o estaría muerto(thank god or I'd be dead)," Auston replied. With his lips twitching up into that lovely smirk, you knew whatever he had said was a smartass comment.

"Look, you're hot, speaking Spanish and all," you paused and leaned more into him now, "but don't make any smartass comments to me, Matthews," you said.

Auston kept that smirk on his face, "bien," he said.

"I need another drink," you muttered loudly just as your favourite song was dying out into another top 40 mix.

Auston was following behind you, or so you thought. As you turned to look over your shoulder once you got to the bar you saw that the blonde had found him again. You stared and watched as Auston chuckled and then that 'sexy' look in his eyes flashed on again. Suddenly his eyes flickered off the blonde and found you, he raised a brow and before you could see anything else you turned back to the bar.

"Y/N," your friend grinned while she and Willy came up beside you.

"Hey, you guys seem a lot more drunk than when I last saw you," you stated. She giggled while Willy called over the bartender.

"I think Y/N needs some shots," your friend said, "Willy get her some shots," she ordered him while her hand toyed with his belt buckle. Classic.

But Willy listened and ordered you two tequila shots, despite you trying to decline them. Just as you were about to lift the first one to your lips, Auston appeared beside you - without the blonde, thankfully.

"Willy buying another round?" Auston asked.

"For me," you mumbled before downing the shot and then grabbing the second one and pouring it down your throat too. With the burn and disgust in your mouth, you grabbed a few sliced limes and began to suck on them, one by one till they were done.

Once you were finished and feeling a bit better - also feeling much more drunk immediately- you looked at Auston. He was watching you, a smile on his lips and a devious look in his eyes. One thing was for certain, this hot piece of ass wasn't Auston's tonight. You waved over the bartender and got yourself another drink to sip on before finding you way back to the table.

And those two tequila shots were how you ended up being practically carried to your apartment by none other than Spanish-speaking-hot-piece-of-ass-NHL-playboy, Auston Matthews. A roar of cheers played in your head at your thoughts. Then you were actually cheering as Auston opened your front door. You kicked off your shoes and flung yourself across the room onto the couch.

"Graceful," Auston chuckled.

"Oh shut it," you muttered at him.

"Oh you're grumpy now huh?" He teased while taking a seat beside you. You attempted to sit up but instead kept slouching. "Just a moment ago you were serenading me in the cab," he stated.

"Don't give me that stupid boyish smile," you said while pointing to his face where that perfect smile was. "I won't fall for it, it won't work on me," you added.

"¿Estás seguro?(You sure?)," Auston somehow managed to make the two Spanish words to sound so sexy you swore you needed to go change your panties right then and there.

You closed your eyes and let out a groan, long and whiny. Auston laughed at you but he stopped as you sat up and cocked a brow at him. As your eyes gazed into his, you firstly felt dizzy, but then you felt that lusting you had been feeling all these past fourteen days. Your heavy eyelids caused you to break the gaze and instead take in his body instead. Everything inside of you was telling you to jump onto him and do it all over again. But then there was that settle reminder of who you didn't want to get involved with.

"I'm tired," you blurted out.  

Without a response from Auston you got up and walked down the hall to your open bedroom door. All over the floor was the tornado of getting ready, which you easily ignored and instead took off your pants and shirt before bending down to pick up a super oversized band tee. Then you were laying on top of some clothes and your comforter as the world started to spin.

In your haze of being drunk, you heard someone enter your room - obviously that someone was Auston. You hoped he'd get the message and sleep on the couch or maybe even cab home. But instead you heard some ruffling around before the bed dipped down beside you. Next came the cool feeling of one of your makeup wipes.

"Thank you," you mumbled as Auston wiped off your makeup.

"You're welcome," he said as your lips turned up into a smile. This was by far the sweetest thing any guy ever had done for you.

There was silence that fell over the room as he continued to wipe your face free of makeup. Then he tossed the wipe into the garbage and as he sat there in the silence you opened your eyes. Auston sat there, staring at you. A flutter of butterflies filled your stomach and you just kept on smiling.

"You know how I said I was a good actor earlier?" Auston asked.

"Yeah,"

"I've been acting around you mostly," he stated, suddenly confusing you now. Auston licked his lips and kept his eyes on you. "I've been acting as if I don't like you more than a friend, like as if even seeing your face in a snapchat for 10 seconds doesn't make me smile," Auston said in a soft voice.

Every playboy image you had of Auston washed away then. With his words you sobered up a little and grabbed ahold of his hand. You took a deep breath.

"I feel the same way," you admitted. The first time out loud and to yourself in all honesty. Auston's boyish smile came back as he laced your fingers together. "Stay the night," you said.

"Por supuesto bebé(of course baby)," Auston said. Then he stood up and turned off your lights, you heard him struggle to get out of his jeans - causing you to giggle and make fun of him - then he was sliding you under the covers and not hesitating to pull you into his warm body.

Finally your night finished the most perfect of ways. A soft, gentle, simple kiss from Auston's lips right on your temple. You smiled and shut your eyes, feeling content with how your night had surprisingly gone.

#auston mine #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

[hockeytrashgoblin]

How They Met (AustonxAshley)

“Uuugh it’s raining here.” I complained loud into the phone while walking through the skywalk leading to the rogers center.

“Oh no that’s not good.” Grandma said. “How early are you?”

“Well they open the doors in like 2 and a half hours but no one is in line right now so I’m going to sit by the Jays shop for a bit.”

“That’s a good idea. Don’t get too wet you’ll get sick.” I stayed there talking until it was time for me to get in line. I was there for country day at the rogers center. I really wanted the free shirt, the concert and the baseball game too. I loved the Jays and High Valley so I was very excited to be there. I was bouncing in excitement as I was getting closer and closer to the doors. This was my favourite place in the entire world. I got in and got my shirt immediately going into the bathroom to change from my 3 layers of bluejays stuff to my new shirt. It went down past my knees and all the way down my arms which made me laugh but I wasn’t surprised. Giveaway shirts always fit me like a dress and this was no exception. It was supposed to be half sleeves but oh well it was cute and I loved it. I left the bathroom and ended up going to the west jet flight deck to see High Valley. I was walking around looking at all the stuff and stayed put where the bluejay girls were square dancing since that was where High Valley would be in a little while. Other people started gathering near the edge of the floor so I went over there so I would be able to see them below me I was lucky enough to be right behind one of the guys. Other people were gathering around me but I didn’t really care very much for them, I was on my own so it didn’t really matter. I did notice however people yelling and a commotion going on around me. Girls were whispering and fixing their hair and clothes to which I just rolled my eyes at.

“Oh my god here Mitch you can have my spot at the front.” some blonde girl said trying to look cute.

“Thanks.” he said pushing past her right beside me, he never gave her a second thought and I rolled my eyes once again. I put my arms on the railing and stood on my tip toes so I could reach it at all since I’m so short. I was getting more and more excited as the band started coming out and tuning the instruments. But then there was a tap on my shoulder from the side. I turn my attention to the one and only Mitch Marner. “Hey babe you wanna move so my friend can come up beside me?”

“No.” I said simply.

“Um that’s kinda rude don’t you think?”

“No I don’t think it is actually. I was here first and I’m not moving. You guys should’ve gotten here earlier.” I said looking right at him.

“Sorry Aus looks like you’re stuck back there.” he said looking up behind me.

“Mitch I already told you it’s fine. She’s short enough I can see over her. It’s not a big deal.” I recognized the voice immediately and my body tensed a bit. I was definitely blushing bad. Auston Matthews was standing right behind me. I wasn’t going to freak out, he was just a person after all but I had a crush on him almost the whole time I had been watching hockey this season. I felt another tap on my shoulder, this time from behind. I tensed again, took a deep breath and turned to be faced with deep brown eyes looking at me. “I’m sorry about that, he was being rude.”

“It’s okay.” that’s all I said before turning back around in time to see High Valley walking up making me scream and almost forget all about Auston Matthews behind me. All through the songs I was kind of bouncing and dancing to which Mitch joined me on the second song.

“Okay maybe you aren’t so bad.” he said in between songs.

“Boi I am aware.”

“Auston never dances with me.”

“Party pooper.”

“Yes! Exactly! See Aus? Party pooper.”

“Mitch shut up.” Auston said as the next song started, which was Make you mine which was my favourite high valley song. I was singing along and all the sudden Brad put the microphone up to me and I got to sing into it which made me so excited. Mitch kept hitting my arm while I was doing it yelling that it was so cool. After he took the mic back me and Mitch were yelling and dancing around excited because Brad winked at me and I threw my arms up way too hard hitting Auston right in the nose causing it to bleed.

“Oh my god! I am so so sorry.” I said so embarrassed I wanted to jump off the westjet flight deck.

“It’s okay.” he said chuckling a bit.

“Here come on let me help please?”

“Okay. I’ll meet you in the booth Mitch.”

“Okay dude, don’t die.” Auston rolled his eyes and I took his hand bringing him out of the crowd and out of the flight deck completely. I went into the nearest bathroom and got a bunch of toilet paper for him to hold on his face while we walked towards the nearest ramp to the 500 level knowing it wouldn’t be very busy near those.

“Where are you taking me?” Auston asked me.

“Just away from the crowd. Sorry I just noticed I’m still holding your hand, my bad.” I let go of it and we stopped walking, we were out of the way enough. “Sit.”

“On the ground?”

“Yes on the ground.” I said rolling my eyes. “What are you too good to sit on the ground?”

“No but isn’t it kind of gross?”

“Kind of. But you don’t come to the ballpark because it’s the cleanest place in the world.”

“Well that’s true I guess.” he said laughing as he sat down. I opened my backpack and got out my little first aid kit, taking out a one time use ice pack. “So you just carry around a first aid kit? Do you take people out often?”

“No, I’m just clumsy as hell. I didn’t carry one around in adventure backpack until I cut my knee open one time.”

“How did you cut your knee open?” he asked before hissing in pain as I applied the ice pack to his face.

“In an abandoned house back home. Me and three of my friends went back to paint in there and on the way in the window there was one jagged piece of glass that just went directly into my leg. Right here.” I said showing the hole in my pants and the scar left over.

“Why did you keep the wrecked pants?” he asked with an amused smile on his cute face.

“They’re my favourite.” I replied simply.

“They are nice.”

“I know. That’s why I still have them. I tried to sew the whole but it’s not a seam so it just looked bad.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Yeah well whatever. If there wasn’t a hole I wouldn’t have been able to show you my sick scar.” I joked raising my eyebrows making him laugh.

“Oh yeah. Makes you look tough.” he was still smiling big.

“Yeah boy I know. I’m very tough.”

“Yeah sure.” he said sarcastically.

“Hey I took you out.” I pointed out with a shit-eating smirk.

“Touche.” he said laughing again. We sat in relative silence for a few seconds while I moved the ice pack to  assess the damage.

“How the hell did I scratch you that bad?” I asked looking at the small cut across his cheek.

“Look how long your nails are! How would you not?”

“K it’s not my fault I’m growing them out because I saw a post on instagram of some girl with long nails with glitter and different colours under there and I want to do it. Besides it makes finger picking my mandolin easier so it makes sense practically too” I rambled at him while he just smiled at me. “God stop smiling I’m sorry I rambled.”

“Don’t be sorry it’s okay.” I took out a bandaid and put it on his cheek before patting it.

“Okay well you’re not bleeding or super swollen anymore so bye I guess.” I said getting up and zipping my bag before slinging it over my shoulder.

“Wait a second.” he said getting up too. I waited with a raised eyebrow. “Do you want to come watch the game in the suite with me and Mitch and a few of our friends?”

“No.”

“Wait what?”

“I said no. I have a really good seat in the 500 level I want to sit in. I haven’t sat in this spot since I was like 10.”

“You’re declining my offer to sit in the nosebleeds?”

“Dude the 500 level is the best level sooo yeah I am politely going to decline.” I said smiling.

“Do you know who I am? Any other girl would beg to be asked up to be in the booth with me.” he said getting butthurt.

“Then take any other girl.” I said shrugging turning around leaving him there blushing at the floor. “Oh and Auston?” he looked up to meet my eyes. “I know who you are and I couldn’t care less.” I smiled at him one more time and turned around to walk up the ramp.

“Wait stop.” I turned around to look at him. “Can you at least tell me who you are? You owe me. You kinda punched me in the face earlier.”

“I helped you. I owe you nothing.” I said walking back up the ramp but still calling out to him. “My name is Ashley.”

“Thank you for the help Ashley.” he yelled up the ramp at me. My heart completely melted when he said my name but we don’t have to talk about that.

“Sorry for punching you in the face.” I yelled back.

“It’s okay I don’t mind.” he yelled back before I turned the corner smiling at him one more time to see him already smiling.

I watched the whole game which was fun but it was a pathetic show by the jays. I still had fun but it was not a good game to be a jays fan for. I ended up posting pictures on snapchat and an instagram post both with the caption ‘when you punch Auston Matthews in the face at a Jays game lmaooo #killme #hesprettierinperson’. 

#austonmatthews #leafs #hockey #imagine #nodybodyaskedforthis

[spaceorphan18]

TDB Rewatch: Home

Yay! I’m so glad we’re getting into that stretch where the show gets really good.  It’s pretty much a fun ride all the way through the beginning of season 3.  Like last week, I feel like - yeah, this is the show I really love.  I know I always say it - but it’s funny to me there are people who are stuck on the Front 13 classic episodes as the height of the show.  Because I just feel like it got good after that stretch.  I feel like there’s a comment here about being ‘home’ in this stretch, but I’ll spare y’all. 

Thoughts: 

There’s so much Kurt - *happy dance*.  I’m not going to reiterate all my thoughts here, but in case you’re wondering what they are: ALL THE KURT META AND THEN SOME.

That ending scene, though, with Kurt at the window gets me every time. 

This episode is so heavy.  I don’t know if they’ve done such a full dramatic episode yet.  It’s so good, but incredibly heavy.  Not surprised that Bad Reputation follows it, tbh. 

Part of the heaviness comes from the songs, too.  Everything is so serious. 

Obviously, the theme is home.  It fits so well with Kurt (and co.)’s story, and with Mercedes’s story.  I feel like, funny enough, it feels a little weak in the Will/April story. 

Will and April bore me to tears - it almost feels like a redux of episode 5. I’m kinda glad they didn’t hook up, though.  

You can’t buy an public school auditorium.  It’s government property--- never mind, why am I bothering?

Despite that I always zone out during it - it’s nice that they showcase just how good Matthew Morrison and Kristin Chenoweth can sing when they’re on a good song.  

Also, totally rolling my eyes at Will’s speech to April about getting her shit together.  I’m kinda glad she ultimately doesn’t and runs off to Broadway. 

I have to wonder if the reasons Will and April’s duet was so long was because they had to cut a number due to Chris hurting himself on roller skates. 

The whole roller rink thing seemed kinda pointless - and the whole glee club needs a home felt weak.  It’ll be better done in Swan Song. 

Meanwhile....  Mercedes finally gets a plot line!! It’s about women’s body issues and it’s done pretty well!!  I’m glad she gets to celebrate who she is - but still addresses this idea that women (and people really) feel like they need to look a certain way to fit in.  

I still don’t understand why they needed to redo this with Marley, if they weren’t going to build upon this standard. 

I like Mercedes and Quinn’s friendship.  I’m sorry it never went past season one. 

Rachel doesn’t have a plot for the first time.  See show - it is possible.  Plus, Lea can actually do comedy.  I’m sad that this is eventually given up for Always. Dramatic. Rachel. 

Btw, where is Quinn living at this point? With Puck? Hm. 

You know - as much as the twist with the reporter is a fascinating one, sometimes I wish Sue would really get her shenanigans thrown back in her face. 

So. Finn and Carole are a different side of the same coin as Kurt and Burt. It’s such an amazing story with the four of them.  And Finn and Carole’s relationship - while not getting as much attention a Kurt and Burt’s, remains one of the strongest and most interesting of the show.  I love watching this dynamic throughout the episode - as Carole is as wise as Burt. 

Damn can Romy Rosemont act. 

Carole and Burt might be the healthiest and most realistic relationship on the show.  Yeah acid-wash denim. 

My ending thoughts are -- why don’t Kurt and Mercedes have a show on Bravo?

#tdb rewatch #todaydreambelievers

[wavemaker9]

im finger gunnin my way into your inbox to ask how /would/ austin's family react to and feel about austin and amelia deciding to try to actually date and be a couple?

Austin’s parents are naturally accepting about the idea. I think if austin told any family ahead of time, it’d probably be them. They kinda, double check with him that the pair really want to try this, but when austin assures them that they talked it over and are comfortable with it, then they’re supportive. Like they do see the the changes between the pair, how they’re getting more along and everything. I mentioned them talking to mel about like. Hey this is the best and happiest we’ve ever seen our son so. June probably double checking with austin about him wanting to do this. Not that she doesn’t like amelia or think she’d be bad for her son at this point, or even that her son would be bad as he is now for her. She’s just, like austin would, considering like “hey do you really 100% want to do this again. It’s nice you’re actually taking it more seriously and responsibly, like actually dating to test the waters but… are you /sure/?” but when he agrees, she smiles and hugs him and lets him know that she hopes they’ll both be happy then. Oliver’s probably excited about the idea of it and austin has to remind him that this isn’t a thing to share yet, they’re not going to make a big deal about it. They talked to each other and they’re not going to hide it but like, dad, /dad/. Austin maybe actually a little worried about it, but not majorly. Considers talking to just his mom about it, but that’d be rude to his dad and he can also just be like, hey, don’t bake something as like a treat thing to celebrate them deciding to go on a date. You already did the bake a lot of treats as a gift thing when we first got married and at the moment that’s still all that’s needed. I just. I picture oliver as the kind of person who gets so excited about this kinda thing he switches to embarrassing parent fast. Even grandparent. The first time he finds out daliah has like a crush that she’s taken a step and invited to a school dance and he comes over with a platter of  heart shaped cookies out of the blue, so i heard somebody~ has a cute classmate they’re going on a date with~~~ daliah like, grandpa ollie, i love you, but please can we not? She’s already super embarrassed about this, cmon.

Anyway, long story short, june double/triple checks they’re sure they want to try pursuing this but once she’s convinced they’ve thought this through, happy for them but chill about it after that. Oliver is so excited to hear they’re going to start dating, definitely hears ‘hey don’t make a big deal about this’ but definitely preheats the oven to ‘big deal’ degrees fahrenheit.

It’s kyle that’s kind of the problem. His parents aren’t really a factor. Arthur’s relatively distant from that side of the family. June was summer’s sister, not his. He keeps in contact with kyle like he keeps in contact with alfred and matthew, but outside of extended family get togethers, it’s been a while since austin’s heard from his uncle, though he doesn’t really try very hard to keep in touch. Similar if not more so with summer. He at least kind of got along with his uncle arthur when they’d meet up. He was scared of summer just like kyle, and even his mom would express sometimes that she didn’t exactly want austin spending a lot of time with her. Like again, june and oliver kind of took over watching kyle a lot when they cool because they could tell that kid was not getting the love he deserved. The moment austin didn’t have to talk to summer again, committed to that life 100%. He’ll try to pick seats on teh opposite side of hte time when it’s big family events. So like. Like if summer found out, probably talks shit about it t people, because she legit just loves that manipulative and misery shit. But honestly, outta sight outta mind and most people know by that point summer’s full of shit on most things anyway. I tend to picture like alfred and matthew each moving away shorter after hitting YA age and were older than kyle and austin, so austin also didn’t get close to them and they wouldn’t really hear about it until things got more serious. Maybe a little ??? didn’t you two just split up? About it but it hardly affects them so i think they don’t care that much either.

Kyle’s still closely connected to austin and his family and would see a lot of it and he would be the most critical. Because yeah, sure, austin turned out to be a pretty okay dad despite all odds and he’s definitely not the cunt he was when they were younger (you can talk, kyle), but like him still not trusting this because he doesn’t see austin as the type to actually like. Know how to do love (the way kyle expects it to be done) so why are you going to start dating someone who you already had a failed relay with. Kyle is a fucking. He’s an asshole about these things. Again, he sees a relay as failed if it breaks up/splits, even if it ends up being for a good reason or even if you can get back together with the person. Also again, if you don’t do a thing the way he expects, you’re not doing it right and thus you’re not actually doing it. And finally, kyle likes austin he does, especially now. If it came down to it seriously, he’d pick austin over mel because that’s family. But on the other hand mel’s like a best friend of his and austin’s still kind of a dick (YOU CAN TALK, KYLE) and mel didn’t deserve dealing with him before let alone now after finally moving past it. He doesn’t want to see either of them miserable again, but him expecting mel would handle it harder than austin would (because austin’s an emotionless asshole blah blah blah. Kyle’s a dick, where’s my kyle being a dick tag?). I could see kyle trying to talk some sense into mel about this and her kind of making him step back into his place. Hey kyle guess what? Wild concept, you don’t get to tell me who i should or shouldn’t date. You don’t get to tell me i deserve better or worse than a person i’m interested in. you don’t get to tell me shit. (Also like kyle whines a lot about how family is supposed to stand by family no matter what but austin’s the exception to that a lot because kyle’s so judgey of him.) I just really love the idea of kyle thinking he’s going to help mel come to her senses and save her from a romantic relationship with austin and her just Informing him this isn’t your place to get involved so accept our choices as two adults who are also older and more experience than you, or fucking step, my dude. Him doing the angry thing of like ‘fine don’t come crying to me when your relationship’s fucked up again’ but then another case where hey look at that it all turned out fine. Like tbf kyle before when you got on austin’s case about dal, yeah, yeah, you kinda had a good reason to be worried back then, but you gotta chill out now, cmon, kyle.

#sorbetshark #did i have an ask tag #ignore this #the thief kid #the suit kid #amusing muse musings #hey you au #au nt family edition