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keldae · 10 months

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Writer’s Month 2023: Day Two

Word: Perfume / Setting/AU: camping AU

If anyone asked, Theron running across the Hero of Tython in a cantina on Nar Shaddaa was completely happenstance. It wasn't like he'd discretely arranged his schedule to come across Xaja Taerich here, after all.

Absently, Theron wondered if tracking Master Taerich's movements like this was perhaps a little bit stalkerish. Except, he reasoned, he had no ill intent for Xaja. He just wanted to reassure her that he was okay in the wake of the SIS putting a bounty on him, and get a brief status check with her, in the shadows cast by neon lights. It wasn't like he was stalking her with the plan of getting her attention or causing her harm…

… still, it's a bit stalkerish, he grumbled to himself. Maybe this was why he was single, apart from being a workaholic.

He looked up from his whisky when he suddenly smelled something faint, yet familiar to him, something he associated in his mind with the feisty little redhead who he couldn't get his thoughts away from. Said redhead leaned against his table a second later, green eyes twinkling down at him. "Hey, handsome," she said, "looking for a good time?"

Oh, am I, Theron thought before he could stop himself. "I could be persuaded," he responded with a smirk, giving her a very obvious once-over. She'd forsaken her normal tunics in favour of a cropped shirt and a leatheris jacket; the peek of bare skin around her navel sent a burst of heat through Theron that was completely unrelated to the whisky. She'd dressed for Nar Shaddaa, and yet to him, she still looked like Xaja. It had to be her normal ponytail, and her jade-green eyes, and the perfume she wore. Now that he'd identified it, it was all he could smell – and he definitely wasn't complaining. "How about you sit your pretty ass down and I get you something?"

Xaja grinned, then surprised Theron by coming around to sit right beside him, instead of across the booth. The spy couldn't complain about that either, as he reached his arm to wrap around her waist as though he did this all the time with her. "What's a charmer like you doing in a place like this?" she asked, playing up the flirty spacer act (or maybe the flirty hooker act) by resting her legs over Theron's lap and forcing him to suppress a groan.

"Lookin' for a good time with some good company. And I think I found it." Theron smirked and leaned in to boldly kiss Xaja's cheek, using the opportunity to whisper in her ear. "Korin teach you how to act like this?"

"Nah, Doc and Kira gave me the run-down on how to act," Xaja whispered back. "You okay?"

It touched Theron's heart that Xaja, the pretty Jedi he was not pining for, was worried about him. "Been way worse," he softly assured her. "Any news?"

"A couple of attacks we think are connected to the Revanites, but can't prove," Xaja murmured. "They seem to be staying quiet. How long are you safe here for?"

"Hmmm." Theron grunted in acknowledgement, then sat back up, letting his gaze openly trail down to Xaja's cleavage – in case of any Revanites watching, or other Republic spies, if anyone asked. He would have loved to keep his nose buried in her hair, where the scent of her perfume seemed strongest, but this view was definitely okay with him. "Baby, for you, I got all the time in the world," he said out loud.

Xaja's cheeks went pink, even under the neon lighting. Still, she smiled, and shivered as his fingers started touching the exposed skin of her lower back. "You promise, loverboy?" she asked, returning to her flirty persona. "You're gonna give me high expectations."

"I'm in good with my bosses," Theron assured her. "You name it, girl, it's all yours. Even a ticket off this rock with me to show you the galaxy."

"Ohhh?" Xaja grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Like where?"

"Like Tatooine, or Ylesia, or Ryloth… I'll show you the stars on the edges of the galaxy." He couldn't say where his next destination was, mostly because he himself wasn't sure yet. But he could tell her where he'd been for the last couple of months, since Manaan. His fingers fumbled around with the back of her belt until he found a pocket in her tight pants; it was easy for him to slip a datachit into the pocket without being noticed. "Check your pockets when you're back in your ship," he lowly instructed, under the premise of kissing her jaw and ear again. The scent of her made him want to forget his job and just focus entirely on her, disastrous as that could be for the mission.

Xaja nodded, but didn't say anything. Was Theron imagining things, or did she seem to be breathing a bit more shakily than normal? It must just have been wishful thinking on his part. A moment later, she sat up straight and winked at him. "So, how about you start showing me that good time you promised by showing me if a cute guy like you can dance?"

Theron grinned and let Xaja pull him to his feet. "Like I'll say no to dancing with a pretty thing like you."

#kel writes #swtor #writer's month 2023 #Theron/Xaja #technically pre-relationship #when they're still refusing to admit their mutual crushes #Shadow of Revan arc #what happens on Nar Shaddaa stays on Nar Shaddaa #Theron Shan x female Jedi Knight #Theron Shan #Xaja

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raelle-writing · 4 months

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Phee and Jin as parallels throughout DFF

Previously I wrote a meta about Phee and Jin as parallels in just episode 7, but since then it's become increasingly clear that the entire narrative of DFF has Phee and Jin in parallel positions.

Caring for Non

The parallel starts early in the show, and early in the interactions between Phee, Jin, and Non. As soon as they meet Non, both Phee and Jin show an immediate interest in him, and immediately like him, too.

Both Phee and Jin proceed to catch feelings for Non (obviously Phee dates Non, and Jin does not, but they both have a crush/feelings).

I know some fans disagree about Jin caring for Non, but the narrative shows it clearly through his actions. Jin cared for Non and liked him, even if he acted badly later.

Trying to help/pushing help

Next, Phee and Jin both show a desire to help him, and suggest ways they can, even if he doesn't accept their help or doesn't listen to their suggestions. Jin offers to help Non make money to repay Por for the camera. Phee goes even further than that by implicating himself in money laundering in order to get his dad to drop the case against Non.

Then, Phee pushes Non to stop hanging out with the friend group, or even move schools to get away. He wants Non to make a choice to step away from it all, pushing what he wants onto Non so that Non will be safe.

Jin, on the other hand, balances out by pulling Non back when Non thinks about stepping away. Jin reminds Non that he was the one who wrote the script, that he would be giving up a lot if he just walked away.

And Non listens to Jin, because it aligns with what he already wants. He straight up tells Phee that he wants to finish the movie. And when he has his psychotic break, he yells at them about stealing his work. It's clear that neither Jin nor Phee can get Non to do (or not do) something unless Non himself wants to.

Both saved Non's life

Both of them interrupted Non during a s*icide attempt, saving his life. Neither of them know that's what's about to happen, they're just there to see/check on Non after a bad thing happens, and show up just in time...

Both reacted to Non in anger

When Jin sees Non "cheating" on his boyfriend, he reacts with anger and records the video of Non and Keng (obligatory note: Non was coerced, but I also want to point out that everyone in the narrative and the narrative itself treat it as if Non was cheating). And when Phee sees that video, he tracks down Non to tell him to "get lost and die."

Both of them say/do things that are damaging to Non. Phee knows that Non almost killed himself shortly before and yet still basically tells him to go finish the job. And meanwhile, Jin records him in a vulnerable state and posts it on the internet.

Neither of them showed their best selves in that moment, reacting to exactly the same knowledge. Both of them did something they very much regret in the present, something they can't let go of, a mistake they can't get closure for.

Both show clear upset when Non disappears

Though of course Jin lies to the police about Non's disappearance, it's clear that it impacts him negatively. He's snarky and nasty to his friends at the movie premier, bringing up Non repeatedly and refusing to smile.

Phee is visibly upset, angry, sad, and of course proceeds to turn his life upside down to start looking for Non.

Feelings

As time passes and removes them from Non, both Jin and Phee catch feelings - for each other. Both of them have had time to heal a bit from the grief and loss, and gravitate toward each other in the process.

But they can't move on

But because of everything that happened with Non - everything they had a part in - the two of them can't move on, can't get closure. Can't really give in to their feelings. Phee shoves Jin away and drops them both into stasis - unable to move on from each other, and unable to move on from Non.

Mutual guilt and blame

Even in the present, both of them still carry the weight. Phee admits that he acts out of guilt, because he feels like he made things worse when he told Non to go die. And Jin admits he recorded the video and made things so much worse...

And Phee even says it in this scene. That they're both the ones who hurt him. Both of them carry the weight. Both of them admitted their failure and admitted their guilt, and saw each other for who they really are. Their parallel bad actions, and parallel guilt.

Throughout the show, their arcs have been parallel the entire time. They've circled each other, circled Non, and circled each others' arcs from the start. And I'm sure that we'll see, through the end, how those mirrored decisions impact them.

#tbh designing this meta has convinced me that for better or worse Phee and Jin will share their fate #they'll either both live or they'll both die #dff the series #dff #pheejin #jin dff #phijin #phee dff #dff meta #dff analysis #dff spoilers #also I cross-posted this on twitter

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as-above-is-moving · 7 months

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Who was the first person you ever had sex with?

What's the best sex you've ever had?

If you could have sex with one famous person or celebrity (or someone who never had sex with) , who would it be?

What's the most times you've had sex in one day?

Have you ever had really bad sex?

Have you ever had a one-night stand?

(For all the grown ups ;))) )

-cracks knuckles-

HOO BOY

Who was the first person you've ever had sex with?

Kairi: "My first time was with a girl I met in one of my college classes, actually. We dated for a little bit, but we mutually split after a few months. I still wonder how she's doing, sometimes."

Yuè: "It was a girl I dated back in high school. We were drinking, making out, and one thing led to another. Neither of us knew what we were doing, which kind of made it less embarrassing? The liquid courage didn't hurt, either."

Basilisk: "She was a beautiful young lady traveling abroad for her studies, enjoying the French night life. I offered to show her around, and she invited me back to her room for the evening. I was intrigued by her. Enamored by her foreign looks...nothing ever came out of it--aside from me finally finding some organs I'd been having difficulties getting my hands on. Nothing of her was wasted."

Hymn: ".....no one. I've never....-ahem-. You know."

Riot: "it wasn't anythin' romantic. Just a hookup after a metal concert in my mid twenties. Fuckin' embarrassin', it was--I 'ad no idea what I was doin'. At least the gal was real nice about it..."

What's the best sex you've ever had?

Kairi: "With my 3 current partners, of course! Most of the people I've dated before weren't really...shall we say reciprocating? In the bedroom--or emotionally, either. But I've managed to find not just one, but three people who value my enjoyment as much as I value theirs. No one has compared to them."

Yuè: "i..." He cleared his throat. "I refuse to say. I know they'll hear about it SOMEHOW, and I'll never hear the end of it."

Basilisk: "None of my experiences stand out. They're all about the same, in my opinion."

Hymn: "I've never slept with anyone..."

Riot: "I can't believe I'm sayin' this out loud...there's this girl I'm seein' right now--lil spitfire she is. She an' i...fuckin' hell, I'm not gettin' into the details with strangers! Piss off!! Ò////Ó"

If you could have sex with one famous person or celebrity (or someone who never had sex with) , who would it be?

Kairi: "I never really looked at celebrities like that. And I'm too embarrassed to say who the one person would be out loud. I'd never hear the end of it from him, I fear..."

Yuè: "I used to have a crush on this one actor as a teenager. That's the closest I ever got to 'thirsting' after a celebrity."

Basilisk: "No one."

Hymn: He's glancing at his two bosses. He's quickly looking away.

Riot: "Not a celebrity--but it's on my bucket list t'get fucked by somethin' with tentacles. Like, REAL ones. Just once."

What's the most times you've had sex in one day?

Basilisk: "Once."

Kairi: "Oh gosh, this so embarrassing-- f-four... >////<"

Yuè: "Three times."

Hymn: "...none..."

Riot: "Twice. Each round lasted like...a quarter of a day, though."

Have you ever had really bad sex?

Kairi: There's a long sigh. "Unfortunately, I have had plenty of disappointing experiences with men; it was either short, only penatrative, just plain uncomfortable or a combination of them. I'm far more picky about who I sleep with now that I'm older."

Yuè: "Well sure. Most of that was back when I first started sleeping with people though, as a teenager."

Basilisk: "I am used to disappointment."

Hymn: "....no."

Riot: "Can't say I 'ave."

Have you ever had a one-night stand?

Kairi: "A few, yes..."

Yuè: "More than I'd like to admit, yeah...at least I was smart enough to get checked out regularly at the doctor's."

Basilisk: "A handful, yes."

Hymn: "No."

Riot: "Only once. Wasn't bad, but it sure felt bad t'wake up alone with my wallet missin' the next mornin'."

#SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE A WEEK LMAO #mother of plants (kairi)#second chance savior (yue)#angel of death (basilisk)#herald of the deep (hymn)#fire and brimstone (riot drake)#nsft #n5ft #sinday #sinday ask #answered ask #long post

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dearchilde · 2 years

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Look At You Go (I Just Adore You)

summary; sparring with the commissioner. a few shenanigans happen, but it's all in good fun.

pairing; kamisato ayato x gn!reader

warnings; mutual pining, sparring, teasing (on both ends), slight jealousy, slight angst (just a sprinkle), once again reader has a cryo vision, and fluff.

…ᘛnotes; I've read so many ayato fics just to understand his character, so I hope I did him some justice! this was inspired by @celestair whose post made me get off my ass and write for someone else that wasn't diluc or kaeya.

“Perhaps you need to work on your posture.”

“My posture is great, you just lack providing me the thrill of excitement that I'm looking for,” You retorted, blocking another swing of Ayato's sword with your own. He was still holding back for the sake of the rules of the spar. It wasn't a rare sight to see you in the courtyard with the Head of the Kamisato Estate. The two of you would meet up often, sometimes together as friends, other times to spar.

You twist your sword in your hand, a bit of cryo mist emitting from the blade. “Come on, Commissioner,” you taunt with a grin. “I thought you were competent enough to take this seriously, are you not?” He meets your words with a sly smile of his own. The spar continues.

Sword meets sword, the two blades clash together in an almost rhythmic pattern that soothes your ears. The whole world was but a mere blur to you, keeping your focus solely on Ayato and his blade. Dodge. Block. Attack. Use your surroundings to catch him off-guard. That's it.

You throw your entire body to the ground, just narrowly avoiding what could've been a cut to your cheek. Above you, Ayato smirks at your sandy figure, “You seem distracted down there. Have you yielded?” You could almost howl in laughter at the mere suggestion. Surrendering was never a valid option, not to you.

It doesn't help that Ayato's words seem like they're mocking you. Your spars always ended in a draw between the two of you, so you refuse to hand over a win that you could easily turn in your favor. Screw your crush on this handsome man, someone needs to knock that grin off the Commissioner's face.

Much to his surprise, Ayato watched with curious eyes as you all but tossed your sword to the side, tightening his grip on his own weapon. You were a very curious person by nature, and it wasn't rare for you to experiment various ways to improve your combat during these spars. Ayato will admit, your willingness to try new things is what makes these spars very enjoyable—likeable, so what could you be planning now?

It was a new experience, definitely not one you were going to shy away from. You tapped into your vision, feeling it's coolness throughout your body. Focus on where you want the power, whether it be offensive or defensive, the vision will shape itself into what you want it to be, Thoma's voice rings through, his advice two weeks from when you received your vision still resonating with you.

“Follow through with it,” You look up to see Ayato's encouraging smile being directed at you. His sword was lowered, as if he was aware of the breakthrough you were about to make. Despite your questionable "friendly rivalry" with each other, you respected Ayato and Ayato respected you. “You can do it.”

Had it been in any other situation, you likely would've been restraining yourself from proposing to him on the spot. Right now, however, you could only thank him for understanding and helping you through this mid sparring. You nodded at him in gratitude, finding that your Ayato-focused thoughts had caused something to happen while you weren't paying attention. It was kind of difficult to notice since he was wearing white sleeves, but your cryo was easily distinguishable to your sharp eye.

It happened before Ayato himself could realize. One moment he had been urging you on, the next both of his arms had been encased in cryo energy. How interesting, he mused, admiring the armor like layer in fascination. He flexed his hand to test its tensile strength, noticing how the cryo didn't particularly feel cold at all. The shell was a little stiff, but movement was still possible. It wasn't long before the cryo protection shattered, disolving into mist that disappeared back into the air. That lasted seven seconds, minium.

He saw you jump in the air after a pregnant pause, excitement and joy painted on your face. “That was totally unintentional!” You exclaimed, startling a few guards stationed by the entrance who shot you some glares. Ayato felt the corners of his lips slowly curl into a smile, finding that your happiness was very infectious. This was another aspect of your presence that he felt fond of.

Naturally, your sounds of excitement drew in the attention of a certain pair that were just arriving from a few errands. As if sensing their mere presence, you turn towards the two with such speed it was a surprise you didn't pull a muscle. “Thoma, Thoma! You won't believe what just happened!”

“Must've been good if its got you this happy,” The blonde chuckled, and then you went off on a tangent while the two siblings watched on the sidelines.

Ayaka lowered her fan to chuckle at the two of them, turning her attention over at her brother. He was staring at you with rapture, arms crossed and an awfully fond smile that seemed out of character of him. This was the first time Ayato had ever been like this, and it was pretty clear as to why it was. Ayaka wasn't going to let an opportunity like this fly by.

She flicked her fan closed, snapping the elder out of his daze. He schooled his expression to one of his usual masks, but still maintaining that familiar smile he always wore when it was just the two of them. “Ayaka, welcome back. How was your trip?”

“Quite pleasant, yes. However, we shouldn't discuss about me,” She discreetly nudged his arm, a cunning smile that seemed out of character of her adorned her features. Ayato seemed almost proud at that, “It seems like you harbor some feelings for them, brother. It's written all over your face.”

Ayato kept his composed mask. “I must be doing something wrong if even my little sister has gotten wind of this,” he said, a gentle laugh pouring out of his lips. “But I find it useless to try and hide these feelings, so if you were planning on playing matchmaker, I'm afraid it won't work. They are aware of my feelings as I am aware of theirs.” Ayaka rose her eyebrows at that, redirecting her gaze over at you only to do a double-take over what she just witnessed.

Ayato, who had been interested to see her reaction, turned to look at what got her so surprised, only to feel his previous smile grow rigid and tense. There you were embracing another man—Thoma, to be more specific. His Retainer had his arms around you, seemingly praising you for whatever you two were previously discussing. What was worse was that you were hugging him as well, thanking the blonde profusely for what, Ayato didn't have the slightest clue.

Normally, this wouldn't have bothered him this greatly. Thoma and you were friends, too. It was normal for friends to share intimacy, so why was this bothering him so much? Ayato despised this ugly feeling that bubbled in his chest, but alas, like he had practiced for so many years, he kept a cool composure and cleared his throat. Thoma, sensing the rather tense atmosphere emitting from the man, swiftly released you with a placating smile. You glanced over at Ayato, clear suspicion in those slightly narrowed eyes of yours.

Ayato moved on as if nothing had happened, “Thoma, can you go fetch them a glass of water? Our spar must've tired them out greatly.”

Thoma nodded. “Yes, My Lord.”

Ayaka couldn't help but stifle a giggle behind her hand. He couldn't hide that jealousy even if he tried, and it was evident that you had picked up on it like a hawk as well. Surely this would quicken the process of the two of you getting together, right?

She flashed you a kind smile, “Anyway, I must excuse myself, unfortunately. Our trip seems to have exhausted me greatly, I hope you don't mind.”

You returned the gesture, bidding her a good rest as she retreated to her quarters. Now, you were left with a smiling Ayato, who seemed determined to not address his sudden interruption. “Cat got your tongue, Kamisato Ayato?” You teased.

“No, but it seems like it was caught by something else, though it seems like it ran away unfortunately.”

Walking over to him, you lightly poked his shoe with your own, your soft expression soothing his previous jealousy. “Thoma's a friend, you know? He's helped me with my vision a great deal, so it's only natural I thank him for his efforts.” Ayato sighed, allowing himself this momentary vulnerability with you. Something he wouldn't have done with you before.

“Trust me when I say it won't happen again. I despised the feeling, and it wouldn't be fair to you when I haven't even...” His sentence trailed off, but you knew what he wanted to say. There was a reason the two of you haven't gotten together despite your obvious feelings for each other. For starters, your drive to improve your battling skills. This required you to move around from location to location, so you were never one to stay in one place. Inazuma was your homeland, so you would occasionally settle in for a while to rest your weary bones.

The Kamisato Estate had become some place you could call "home" after losing your own family. The loss wasn't something you dwelt in for too long, because soon after you had received your vision and it had inspired you to learn new things. Improving yourself was your utmost priority, hence why you wouldn't allow yourself to completely settle until you could rebuild your family name on your own. This was one of the first few things you told Ayato when you met him, and he respected your decision.

You let out a deep breath, the slight gloomy atmosphere that had hung over the two of you leaving with it. You were learning, so it was only natural, “Hey,�� Ayato regarded you with a leveled stare. That was fine, you just needed to reassure him even if he didn't need it. Sticking out your hand, you wiggled your fingers, a teasing smile on your face as he tentatively placed his hand over yours, “Look at the Commissioner acting like a puppy learning his basic commands~”

“Don't get used to it, you merely have me in a mellow mood at the moment. Besides,” You let out a startled gasp as he pulls you towards him, crashing on to his chest with a deadpan glare as he gazed into your eyes with mirth. “This little puppy deserves a treat after what you subjected him to today, don't you think?” You lightly shove him away, the urge to hit him growing when his laughter reached your ears.

“You owe me another spar for that. Get your sword, Ayato, we're going again.”

He smiled. “Why, of course. Who am I to refuse such a request?”

Do Not Plagiarize/Copy to Another Site.

#–;dearchilde's library!#kamisato ayato genshin #kamisato ayato x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin scenarios #kamisato ayato fluff #x reader

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between-two-fandoms · 4 years

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Who We Used To Be (Ray/Rose/Trevor)

As told by myself and @thesevenumbrellas tag teaming the whump in the 18+ JatP discord. Sev I swear we operate on the same braincell levels, we do be clowning. @bobbywilsonsupremacy let us know what you think of this! I know you and I both hardcore ship Raybse.

Cover was created by @thesevenumbrellas. Please don’t steal it.

This post got long so fair warning.

We wrote this in a discord server over the time span of hours so there’s some mistakes but i’m too lazy to go back and fix it all. Basically we tag teamed on a Raybse Trevor Wilson-centric whump story and can destroy a fandom with a single touch.

You’ll understand once you click the cut.

Don’t Steal Our Writing (but please reblog this to spread it around).

Trauma Time.

major whump warning

(Ren) Okay so if we're gonna be starting at 90's ot3 my children ray/bobby/Rose know that Ray is a panic bi and loves both of these humans very much with his whole ass heart.

(Ren) He takes pictures of his girlfriend and boyfriend while they’re on dates because he wants to capture the moments he was happy the most. Bobby always shed away from the camera burying his face in Rose's shoulder or leaning in for a kiss. Anyways as time goes by Ray notices Bobby's change in behavior. From being his go-happy-trauma boyf to being caught up in the music scene, often out at all hours to parties and label meetings only to come to to sleep on the couch, not even sharing the bed like he used to. It reminds Ray of the time when Bobby was grieving his boys. Ray hates it, but he loves bobby so he pushes his feelings aside to try and arrange more dates for the three of them to go on together.

(Sev) Ray waking up to only Rose in the bed and not Bobby, and it feels too cold in bed without him. So he'll try to call him, because it's 3am and he's supposed to be home and he's not. And Ray remembers what happened to Bobby's bandmates, and he can't admit it out loud but he's worried. Because what if that happens to Bobby? He knows it was a freak accident! What are the odds of it happening again?? But he can't shake that feeling when Bobby doesn't come home at night and Ray stays up all night worrying. Anyway he tries to call Bobby and Bobby doesn't answer. He'll leave loads of voicemails, trying not to be pushy because he knows Bobby doesn't respond well to that. But he's worried. He'll say "hey please call me when you get this." and then ten minutes later try again "hey just text me that you're safe okay?" He can't sleep because Bobby still isn't home. It's 5am. He has to go to work in two hours. Rose keeps telling him to go to bed but he can't.[2:58 PM]Bobby finally texts back. "I'm okay! Was playing with some friends, the gig went over time and then we went to party." Ray wants to be angry because seriously? No phone calls because he was at a party? But he knows that'll just push Bobby away more!

(Ren) And so Ray has all of these festering emotions that boil down to worry and concern at the core but he's just so scared hes losing Bobby cause he never really had his own family to begin with and then one day when Ray comes home early from a photoshoot he can hear Bobby and Rose fighting over Bobby signing the contract that says he wrote Luke's songs but Ray just hears yelling before he even opens the door with his name thrown into the mix and then he gets even more scared because what if he loses Rose and Bobby? if he lost both of them he'd be destroyed. So he doesnt knock. He doesnt go home. Instead he walks around the city until he was supposed to go home originally and he opens the door and there's a sort of eerie silence in the air.

(Sev) Trevor’s unable to shake the feeling that something terrible will happen to Rose and Ray because he's with them. His entire family were killed in 1 night because he wasn't there with them. So at first he's clingy as fuck to Rose and Ray because what if something bad happens when he's not there? What if what if what if... But as time goes on the thinking flips. Maybe it's the music industry that's the problem. It's these weird connections in his head of if he's too successful, bad things might happen. But he can't quit music like that, he can't give up on Luke's dream. He owes his boys to become successful. So instead he distances himself from Rose and Ray. That way they won't be caught up in whatever bad thing is going to happen to him. He distances himself and he waits for it all to drop. He waits for the universe to punish him again.

(Ren) And the universe punishes Bobby when the tension between him and Rose tightens so much he knows there's no going back from it but he's not admitting to stealing the songs because he didn't. He helped Luke write all of the songs more than Alex and Reggie ever did, staying up late with Luke after fights with his mom and Bobby didn’t want Luke to be alone so yeah, he wrote the songs. Maybe not as much as he claimed but he sure as hell made sure his brother wasn’t alone so that counted for something right? And it did. Until Rose kicks him out of bed because she's pissed he'd even consider stealing music and he cant tell Ray because of the NDA the label got him to sign at a party when he was drunk and the only reason Rose knows about it is because she was there when he signed the damn thing and so Bobby pulls away from Ray because isnt it going to be easier in the long run? If he doesn’t attach himself to Ray who'll just get angry at him like Rose did?

(Sev) It's the guilt that grows inside of him every passing day. They're my songs too he tells himself over and over again. But during the dark nights, three glasses of whisky in when the world is getting hazy... even he can't believe the lies he tells himself. He fucked up Sunset Curve. He fucked up his friends' memories. And now he fucked up the only good thing he'd ever had. Ray texts him nonstop. He doesn't understand why Rose kicked Bobby out and he doesn't understand why Bobby listened. Bobby can't take Ray away from Rose. He's fucked up and a terrible person, but even he can't do that. He doesn't give Ray his new address. He refuses to meet up even for Ray to give him his stuff back. All Bobby can do is hold onto Ray's sweatshirt he stole away and a bottle of perfume the same brand Rose always wears. He cradles these things in his arms and cries.

(Ren) And that's the last he sees of Ray for all of 5 years, 20yr old puppy-dog eyed loving precious ray who Bobby would run to the second Rose says its okay. But rose never does. And then Bobby meets a cute blonde and six months later the barista shows up on his doorstep shoving Carrie into his arms calling her a bastard child. Carrie is not a bastard child Carrie is his and he loves her the second he sets eyes on her and so Bobby turns into Trevor when the new year rolls around and he starts his own album. It doesn’t do as well as Luke's his first album did but it was his. And then one day Trevor signs Carrie up for dance because Trisha from first grade made fun of her for not being able to do the splits and on the way out of the dance studio Trevor bumps into Ray, a terrified looking girl clutched to his leg. Carrie doesn't miss a beat. "Hi! I'm Carrie let's be friends!" and Carrie drags Ray's daughter off and Trevor shifts awkwardly and is suddenly 17 again but Ray's eyes still twinkle like the did when they were kids and he's still wearing eyeliner so Trevor almost missed it when a flicker of recognition crosses Ray’s face and a smile quirks at the corners of his lips and he says, "hi im Ray, thats my daughter Julie. Wanna go out for a drink?" With that same mischievous glint in his eye that made Bobby fall in love with him in the first place.

(Sev) Trevor almost stops breathing. He should say no. He knows he should say no. He's an awful person. He doesn't deserve someone like Ray. He never deserved either of them. He knows that. But can't force himself to say no. Maybe it's the twinkle in Ray's eyes. Maybe it's the soul crushing loneliness he's felt ever since he left them. Or maybe it's the way Carrie and Julie are giggling in the corner like they've known each other all their lives. He says yes. The drink ends up at a family friendly restaurant with both the girls in tow.

(Ren) Rose shows up because Ray the asshole apparently texted her while he was in the car saying he met one of Julie's friend's parents and wanted to go out on a date (keeping things pg ofc) aklsdf. And when Rose does show up Trevor sees how... sick she looks. How much paler she looked than she did all those years ago how - he still knew he loved her even if she still decided she hated him.

(Sev) The mood drops quickly. Trevor wants to ask about Rose, but not in front of the kids. Ray wants to ask about their past, but not in front of the kids. Rose... Rose who holds all the answers... doesn't know where to start first. She had never regretted not telling Ray the truth. She never wanted to change Ray's perception of Bobby like that. Ray who looked at their boyfriend as if he'd hung the moon. Ray who stayed up worrying all night until Bobby came home. Ray who held Bobby through countless nightmares... But that makes the truth staring them in the face so much harder. Because she never gave Ray the choice. She realized that a few years too late after she catches Ray staring at old pictures of Bobby in their photo albums. She'd made the choice for him. And then there's Trevor... still beautiful, staring at her with so much concern her heart breaks all over again.

(Ren) The tension doesn't fly over Carrie's head like he hoped it would, she talks to Julie about My Little Pony and Pokemon and High School Musical and their mutual hatred for Trisha from school but Carrie's hand never lets go of his and he finally plucks up the courage and stretches his arm out and says "we're vegetarian for the most part, hope that's okay." And a smile quirks at the corner of her lips and she asks "for the most part?" and Trevor nods and Carrie pipes up from her seat saying "daddy hates hot dogs,” in that blatant fact kind of way kids say things without realizing how problematic it could be. It wasn’t her fault though, Trevor has yet to tell her about her uncles, about how he was in a band, about how they were going to be legends.

(Sev) Rose and Ray both freeze at Carrie's voice. He doesn't know if the girls notice, because he's too busy trying to fight back the panic in his throat. It's been a long time since anyone had brought up ... what happened. It's easy to pretend it didn't happen when his name is Trevor and no one knows him. But these two people know him. They know him more than anyone else ever has. Even the boys. The truth hits him hard at that moment. A truth he'd been avoiding for almost two decades. Ray and Rose know him better than even he knew himself. Maybe that was why Rose had been so furious with him, or why Ray continued to chase after him even months after he moved out. Trevor hides the building panic and sudden realization with a smile. "What an I say," he said as causally as he can. "I'm a picky eater." A few hours later they end up back at the Molina's house. Bobby has no idea how it happened. -No, Trevor has no idea how it happened, he scolds himself. He's Trevor. He has to be Trevor. Trevor got him this far, Trevor made the difficult choices. Bobby was the one who got his friends kill and destroyed the best relationship he ever had. Still, it becomes harder and harder to remind himself of that. To stop himself from slipping into the comfortable shoes of Bobby, boyfriend of Ray and Rose as if the past 17 years had never happened. He finds himself on their sofa, a sofa that brings back memories both good and bad... he finds himself in a familiar home, his old studio just a short walk away, his ex's giggling in the kitchen as they make his coffee the way he's always liked it without asking for a reminder.

(Ren) Trevor can remember the day he stopped drinking the coffee Ray made for him, the morning after his first fight with Rose, when he wakes up cold because Rose basically cocooned herself around Ray's body, keeping her back turned to him and as much as he wanted to reach out to Ray, to hug him and comfort him and tell him it was all going to be okay... everything was too stuffy and too tense and deciding he just had to leave because he was going to suffocate otherwise.

(Sev) He should leave, just like last time. What was he even doing here? He should take Carrie and- Then Ray's in front of him, pushing a hot cup into is hands. "The girls are playing upstairs," he says. His voice is so calm, so understanding. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Trevor almost laughs. Because that's so like Ray. Almost a decade without answers and he's giving Trevor the option to ignore it all. To pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can't be that selfish again. So he shakes his head. "I'd... like to talk to you... to both of you."

(Ren) And then suddenly rose is eyeing him sus but he's been putting this off for to long and honestly fuck his label because they screwed him over one too many times for him to still even consider their relationship anything other than employee-client1[4:06 PM]and so Trevor takes a sip of Ray's coffee holy shit how did go so long without it?! and he explains it. he explains everything.

(Sev) Ray doesn't speak as Trevor explains. He never interrupts or even look surprised. His face is completely unreadable. He doesn't move until Trevor's done. And then once he is, he only stands up to start pacing the room. Trevor's oddly reminded of Alex as he does so, and the memory is enough to make him flinch. "This... this is what you two have been hiding from me for so long?" he asked, voice brittle. "This is... this is what cost us... I mean..." But he can't finish. Ray just shakes his head, back to both Rose and Trevor.

(Ren) Suddenly he's seventeen again. Seventeen and a mess in Ray's arms burying his face into the man's chest finally feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and suddenly Rose is hugging him from behind, her too-skiny bone arms snaking around his chest and hugging him tightly threatening to never let him go saying "amour," and pressing a kiss to the back of his head, "amour we never stopped loving you."

(Sev)It's like no time has passed by the time he's done crying his eyes out. They're all huddled on a sofa that was always too small for three. Trevor's in the middle, clutching at them both as if they're going to disappear on him. Ray sits with his legs underneath them, his arms pulling the both of them into his chest. And then there's Rose, suddenly so much more delicate than Trevor remembers. She sits half on his lap, curled into them, her fingers knotted in his hair. "I can't believe you two kept this from me," Ray whispers. There's no anger. He doesn't think Ray's ever been capable of being angry. "I'm sorry," Trevor whispers, throat raw from tears. Ray answers with a firm kiss to his temple. "We wasted so much time..."

(Ren) Trevor just lays between them in their bed, nothing sexual and nothing tense it’s just them being together and Rose playing with his now-long hair, braiding it right down the middle despite it being too long for others to braid. Her fingers feel nice as they tug at his roots, familiar and a sense of calm washes over him. He lets ray fop on top of him like they used to, burying his head in his chest just listening to his heart beat, his steady constant breathing because Ray used to be afraid one day he'd wake up and Bobby would be dead too. Rose humming lightly, soft lullabies that chased away dark thoughts and Trevor just finds it so comforting, a feeling of home he hasn't had since the day he left and so he wraps his arms around Rose and Ray tight, promising himself he won't screw up his second time around.

(Sev) It's a few hours later when he speaks again. The girls are asleep in Julie's room (delighted at their surprise sleepover.) Ray's almost nodded off, head resting against Trevor's chest. But Rose is wide awake. She's laid out, tangled between them, eyes focused on something far away. He can see it more clearly now. The tremble in her hands, the way she's so still, the circles around her eyes. He takes her hand in his. "What is it?"

(Ren) And Trevor wants it to be a prank, he wants the sinking feeling in his gut twisting around his heart, the same feeling he had the morning of Sunset Curve's Orpheum performance coiling up his spine to go away. He wants everything to be okay, that he told the truth, that he was forgiven, that the universe was finally on his side for once but of course it's not because when has it ever been. Rose's fingers run lightly over his knuckles and Ray wraps his arm around him from behind, his hands resting against Trevor's chest, something solid for him to focus on and as a tear starts to roll down Rose's cheek he reaches up to brush it away, running his hand through her hair only to pull out a clump as he pulled away but he couldn't run when his instincts to run kick in like they always used to do when situations turned emotional, bury it in his mind and lock up his worries like he always did but this wasn't going to be something he could run from.

(Sev) Life is not the fantasy or a fairy tale. There are no happy endings, only happy moments. He'd like to say they picked up right where they left off, Rose lived until a ripe old age, and they never fought again. But he'd be lying. It was hard to fold their lives back into place again, especially with Carrie and Julie. To just pick up after their seventeen year old selves was an impossible dream. But they could do breakfast. And breakfast became dinner. Dinner became one date which became two which became many. It took trouble and care, but they slotted themselves back into each other's lives again. There were lunch dates, and movie nights. There were late night wine dates and early morning coffee dates. They found their happy moments. A decade of separation had smoothed out the rough edges. If Trevor stormed out after a harsh argument, he'd return the next day with flowers and apologies. If Rose snapped and lost her temper, she'd take herself off for a walk to cool down. If Ray was bothered by something, he'd speak up instead of pushing it all down. They found their happy moments. And when 1 month became 1 year, they celebrated with moving boxes and a new, bigger couch. When 1 year became 2, they celebrated with promise rings and whispers of a better future between light kisses. 3 years became 4, became 5, and so on... They found their happy moments. But life is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. Their story ends in a hospital. Rose dies with both her husbands at her side, with both her daughters and son clutching on her hands. She dies with a smile on her face, knowing she is not leaving them to suffer alone. Ray and Trevor grieve together.

(Ren) And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. They stick to their daughters through the worst of it but they don’t let the girl’s fighting rip into them too. It’s not what Rose would’ve wanted for them, it’s not what she would’ve wanted for Julie or Carrie either.

(Sev) And when Julie plays with her ghost band, it's much earlier that Trevor recognizes who she's playing with.

(Ren) Luke’s mad at first, ofc he is but after everything is explained and out in the open Trevor finds himself at home in a building that never felt like home despite the fact he grew up in it.

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jd-loves-everyone · 5 years

Text

Who are these 9 boys?

Kim Woojin: The 3rd year, chicken enthusiast with an angelic voice and an adorable smile.We met when we got paired up for a school trip. I was so nervous about being next to a 3rd year (that I didn’t know) that I barely looked at him for at least the first 30 minutes of the trip. His age plus his broad shoulders and tall stature, only served to intimidate me more. Oh, how wrong I was to think he’d be any bit intimidating.

In truth, his body type only added to his personality in a way that made him resemble a giant, cuddly, teddy bear.

He was gentle and polite as he tried to get me to come out of my tightly sealed shell, with lame jokes and the cutest laugh.

We even shared my earphones, which was how I found out about his utterly divine voice. After complimenting him, he blushed a pretty pink, and asked about my own hobbies and talents. After much prying, he was able to figure out that I also loved singing, but had little to no confidence at all in my own voice (especially after hearing his).

So by the end of the trip, he promised to help me show my voice to the world. And he’s unknowingly succeeded, considering that when we’re alone, he’s my whole world.

Bang Chan: The 3rd year, Student Council President and an aspiring artist, who was too afraid to take a step in the direction of his dreams, so he is now stuck in a path that he doesn’t want to follow.

He is also my neighbor, who gives me a ride to and from school everyday, I’ve learned a lot about him during these rides (and I can only guess, that so has he), like the fact he has a puppy (from the dog hair in his backseat) and that he writes music (really good music). He’s seen all of me: he’s heard me sing more than once (sorry Woojin) and I’ve even broken down in his car (and he held me through it).

I’ve already followed his advice many times, so I hope he follows mine, just once, and goes after his dreams.

Lee Minho: My first crush and the one who made me fall in love with dancing (and him too, in the process). No wonder he’s the captain of the school’s dance club. He’s just mesmerizing to watch.

Despite his very flirty nature, he’s not a player, just very friendly (maybe too friendly). And in spite of this, he still likes to fiercely declare that cats are better than people (especially his 3 cats: Dori, Soon-ie and Doong-ie). The reason why his contact name on my phone is “Crazy Cat Minho”.

Considering that when we first met (at 12 years old) we only spoke briefly, I didn’t expect him to remember me (or for him to have such a… colorful personality, considering his cold demeanor upon first meeting me), let alone want to get as close to me as he has become recently. He even invited me to his house a few times (his little brother is adorable, but he always seems to be staring oddly at me. Is there something on my face?)

I hope my longtime-brewing feelings for ‘The school’s dancing gem’ don’t change how close we’ve gotten, because I’ve really come to value him as a friend, more than just a crush.

Seo Changbin: The 2nd year “bad boy”, who’s really just a softie. Despite him being known as such for being part of the boxing club (and doing pretty good on it) and owning a motorcycle, he also works part-time at the cafe (there, I discovered that he has the cutest smile).

Even the way we met goes against the way he’s been stereotyped. He showed me (on my first, nerve-filled, day) the way to my class (which I later found out was nowhere near his own class).

I refuse to admit that my increased number of trips to the small, cozy cafe is for me to catch a glimpse of that beautiful smile, the fondness in his eyes as he talks to his little sister when she visits him at work, but it is most definitely not because of how much I’ve come to enjoy the giggle-filled conversations we have during his breaks and slower days. I instead like to blame it on my borderline addiction on coffee and hot chocolate.

I hope that, as time goes by, we can talk more. I’d love to see that wonderful smile directed at me more often. I just wish that he never invites me to one of his fights, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle seeing the wounds beneath all those band-aids he always wears.

Hwang Hyunjin: The school’s certified pretty boy (and the most popular one). He sits next to me in most classes, so I got to know him for not just his looks, but his intelligence as well, and during dance club, I got to know his humorous side and the passion he holds for dance. I also found that he is a lot shier than most would expect him to be.

There are just a few problems with my growing interest for him: 1- his crazy fangirls (who drive me crazy for only appreciating his visuals), 2- my childhood friend, Jisung, hates him (and it seems to be mutual) which makes for some interesting classes, considering I sit between them and 3- my, infinitely more talented, best friend, Maia, has a crush on him (at least she did last time we talked about it, which we don’t do often, for obvious reasons, so maybe it’s passed?)

Despite all of this, I can’t help but feel attracted to the boy with the purest giggle and an eye-smile brighter than the sun itself.

Han Jisung: My childhood friend, we’ve basically been joined at the hip since we met. Despite this, even he doesn’t know some of my deepest secrets. I didn’t tell him about most boys in this ‘list’, but every time I spoke about any of them, he acted like an overprotective brother, talking about how they didn’t deserve me and things like that. I don't even want to imagine what he would have said or done if I told him about my interest in Hyunjin, considering they're basically mortal enemies.

He’s the one Maia keeps pushing me to reveal my feelings to (because apparently, he'd be the most likely to return them. Something I don't agree with). Although she'd also like our boyfriends to be able to at least look at each other without rolling their eyes.

And I can see why she does this, I mean, he's handsome, adorable, thoughtful, reliable and knows me like very few people do. But, as cliché as it sounds, I don't want to ruin our friendship because it really means a lot to me.I sometimes wonder if simply by being his friend, I'm only hurting myself more.

Both his sisters treat me like family and I see them as the sisters I never had, during broadcast club (which we have together) I not only get to listen to his soft voice for long periods of time, I also get to experience how truly thoughtful and attentive he is everyone around him as he solves all the problems sent in by students with a gentleness I sometimes wished was directed at me more often.

Lee Felix: The 2nd year, australian transfer student, with the cutest freckles. I never thought I had a thing for accents, but Felix proved that, in fact, I do, and don't get me started on his voice, deep enough to make basically anyone swoon, it has nothing to do with his cute face (and even cuter personality). Before meeting Felix, I had no doubts that Hyunjin was the most handsome boy in school, but now I'm questioning that fact. There’s just something about him, everything fits so perfectly.

I still remember how lost he looked on his first day. With barely any decent English speakers other than myself and a few others, I inevitably became his korean tutor and quite close to him. With his talent for dancing I doubt he'll have problems getting a job, but I hope I can help him become fluent in time for the exams.

Kim Seungmin: My mother’s best friend's son (confusing, I know). The 1st year from the photography club, who asked me to go with him when he went abroad to continue his studies in college (at the time I said I’d think about it but I know it wouldn't be possible).

We met at his mom's birthday party, where we kept each other company throughout the (screeching-filled) event, as the other kids were much younger than the both of us.

In that one afternoon (that dragged on to night), I found out a lot about him, like the fact that his dream is to become a world-known photographer, or the fact that he is incredibly shy (I had to start the conversation even after about 5 minutes of sitting in awkward silence) and because of this, he doesn't smile much, only giving me small, polite and tight smiles in the beginning of our conversation. I was only able to get a real smile out of him when I glanced at one of the pictures on the wall, complimenting him on it. He immediately got this light in his eyes, even if he (at first) tried to act bashful. After I praised his vision, his smile turned wide, broad and genuine as he went on and on about his passion.

On that night, I also found out something about myself, the fact that I'd do anything to keep that beautiful smile on his face, even if it took him away from me.

Yang Jeongin: My new, 1st year, neighbor and Seungmin’s best friend.We actually met once Seungmin told me how desperately in need of help he was in English. So, despite my already busy schedule, I offered to help him. And, after discovering that he had recently moved into the house across from mine, we walked home together (after cancelling my plans with Chan).

The boy was friendly from the start, lively, energetic, and all around an actual ball of sunshine.

With so much love to give and so little confidence in things like his wonderful voice, I suspect he hasn't received a lot of love back. I wish I could be the one to give it to him. I guess I should take Woojin’s advice and get him to come out of his shell too.But with how often he seems to blush around me, I doubt he has enough experience with girls to know what a crush even feels like and I'd hate to confuse him with my own feelings.

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