#what the fuck is wrong with me now

[chickadee-chariot]

Sitting down at the bar next to My Shoulders and taking a slow drink of fizzy lemonade: so...this thing where you feel like you're full of little wires all twisted up and pinching each other...that uh, a regular thing for you?

#mashes humor to cope button #what the fuck is wrong with me now

[taonpest]

Feeling like the dumbest bitch rn I really saw Lyn and Skeletor and went "teehee"

#motu #what have they done to me #like. really #what the fuck is wrong with me now #but uh this picture yeah that's literally my watching any motu episode I'm *this* obsessed with it

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Sally is the real neighborhood Rizzler... you all know i'm right...

#she knew what she was doingggggg #she Knew!!!! #'youre going to make me blush' yes poppy i think that was her intention <3 #popstar is A tier ship you cant convince me otherwise #fuck now im tempted to make a For Fun ship tier list.... no im not. the exhaustion is just making me insane #popstar is theeeeeee lesbian pairing tho #fingers crossed im onto something with them #cmon cmon i love being right #i love clocking relationships before they happen its my fav hobby when watching/reading stuff #i know im delusional with laughingstock but Popstar? i! am! so! correct! #probably. maybe. if im Wrong... dont light your torches im just a lil guy #scribble garnish #welcome home #wh popstar #sally starlet #poppy partridge #THAT TABLE SHOT MY WIFE AND ATE MY LEFTOVERS #i rarely scribble objects and the like and its For A Reason #it was fun for like... ten seconds and then it got tedious but i was Committed #although. i will admit. #scribbling the misc items was nice. love me some Stuff and Things

[chonideno]

literally where can the zelda franchise go after totk. this is it. we've reached it. the pinnacle of video game entertainment. the whole dev team should just pack their stuff and enjoy a long and comfortable retirement. whoever decides their team has to follow-up on that with the next zelda game should answer for their crimes at the hague. what the fuck. I haven't even beat the game yet but what the fuck.

and how are AAA video game devs everywhere not losing their minds. how the hell did nintendo do any of that? and on that console?? you mean to tell me I can stack 15 differently shaped objects on top of each other and they don't vibrate violently into the skybox?? you mean to tell me the physics engine gladly accepts whatever I throw at it and holds it all together without dropping a frame while running on a machine that was outclassed two generations ago??? this is not witchcraft it's a grandiose demonstration of mastery over every aspect of game development that casts an immense shadow over every other AAA studio. fuck. fuck!!!!

everything about this game is crazy to me. the visuals are crazy. the soudtrack is crazy. the complexity of all systems and how they interact is crazy. the sheer amount of non-repeating content, NPCs, quests, dialogue, puzzles, environment variety - all crazy to me. every time I boot up this game I am humbled by the monumental effort and obvious love that went into every facet of the resulting experience. no cut corners anywhere. mirror-perfect chrome polish.

it's so rare we get something like that, in any field. I'd understand if nintendo never made a zelda game ever again because how do you follow that. god I hope everyone who worked on this game got the fattest check and the sloppiest head. I'm so happy I get to live in shigeru miyamoto's world

#totk #shut up mag #jesus fucking christ!!!! what the hell!!!! #I'll admit I was a doubter at times #with how long it took to me and with how little we saw of it #I was afraid I wasn't going to be awed #but I was wrong and I'm so happy I was #now I have to go hunt for game dev podcasts so I can listen to people in the industry #being bewildered and shocked and going ''how did they do it'' #i'm not even done with the game at all I've done 3 out of 4 regions #and I have so many pins and markers and things I want to go see #god I'm going to spend 600 hours in this game aren't I

[swampthingking]

andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you #andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech #pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image #at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up #andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine #they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good #they were sooooo wrong #because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought #for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’ #he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS #he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills #one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’ #when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’ #unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him #and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way #he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me #they’ve threatened to change his password so many times #they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended #and he made a new account out of pure spite #his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image #and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then #(he knows he’s the best goalie) #ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back #andrew minyard #aftg #tfc #trk #tkm #the foxhole court #all for the game

[90108s]

_glitch (x) (id under the cut)

[START I.D.: A digital drawing of Lu Guang from Link Click. He is shown in the side view and has his hand where he has his watch in his pocket. His left eye is blue and he is wearing a blank expression on his face. There are glitches all over him making him appear slightly distorted. The bottom of his white shirt and his other hand are covered in red. There is an image of a clock that reads 12:05 that is superimposed on him. Above him writes, “PAST OR FUTURE, LET THEM BE,” with the second half filled with typographical errors and scribbled over with a red line. The background is black. END I.D.]

#link click #sgdlr #lu guang #shiguang dailiren #Shíguāng Dàilǐrén #时光代理人 #link click fanart #jdraws #now this is my normal art style #so sorry i keep posting art w different styles there is something Wrong w me #abyways!!! #this is not really what i had in mind initially but i like how it came out #i love when lu guang is a little anomaly<3 #he is so strange <3 he does not belong in any timeline he is not supposed to be here<33 #my cat who is a little fucked up

[thatgaywizardoverthere]

Hey remember that time in 1.09 when Merlin went to take out wraith Tristan like “oh this’ll be SO discreet” because it was nighttime and then immediately proceeded to publicly light him up like a fucking Guy Fawkes Day effigy with a trail of fire leading directly back to him

#listen #tell me i’m wrong #a horde of guards like 10ft away are currently paying up their bets for #1) how long it would take merlin to attack the knight with magic #2) what kind of magic he would use #and 3) how fucking obvious it would be #the guards from that lying in the grass pic have made absolute BANK and are now planning an extravagant wedding #gaius is roasting marshmallows on a flaming tristan to stress eat #merlin can’t wait to tell hunith how discreet he’s being in camelot #arthur wakes to zero brain cells and one wedding invitation from the guards #just a normal day in camelot #in a land of myth #and a time of dumbassery #excalibur #merlin #bbc merlin

[therabbitthatpostthings]

Do you know how insane mainstream music beef has to be to make it TUMBLR??? DRAKE YOUR NOT WINNING THIS ONE BBYGRL

#shitpost #shitposting #I thought I was a hater I was wrong #kendrick lamar #mr Lamar??? #now that’s a real hater #drake should of just STFU after he said it’s just big me #if we get a 5th diss track that proves that one of his homies don’t fuck with him either cause WHAT?? #imagine your homeboy leaking your shit to your oop-

[quirkle2]

he likes being dramatic

#qkdraws #id in alt #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho #mp100 #ritsu kageyama #mp100 ritsu #we love witsu in this house #i've had a raging headache all day and no energy so i wanted to make smth simple that didn't require detailed linework #lord heal this headache right now or i swear to you i'll blow up the earth #anyway. he's soooooooooooooooooooooooooo bug to me #there's not enough ritsu content.why doesn't anybody love this fucking Insect #he'sliterally so bug. whats wrong w u guys /silly

[ecoterrorist-katara]

on “Zutara is a colonizer x colonized ship”

“Colonizer” is not an ontological category. It’s a role within a specific geopolitical power dynamic, and therefore it can change — or even cease to exist — when these geopolitical power dynamics change (like when, idk, a Gaang of teenagers overthrow a genocidal imperialist colonial regime to install a new monarch who vows to stop the genocide and imperialism and colonization and bring about an era of love and peace)

I know it’s a bad faith anti argument, but it bothers me more than most anti Zutara arguments because I think it is indicative of a very pessimistic, defeatist attitude about power relations in general. Any type of oppressor is not a fixed role. It’s subject to change, and indeed ATLA’s message is that it’s your obligation — and your right, your power — to fight for that change, even if you’re just a ragtag group of kids against a whole empire. Calling Zuko a colonizer is not only a baffling misunderstanding of what colonization is, it also implies that even when you successfully challenge and restructure oppressive power dynamics, old sins cast long enough shadows that there is nothing you can do to be free of them. It’s one thing to acknowledge the complexities of a close relationship with someone who used to benefit from your oppression (indeed that’s kind of the whole arc of The Southern Raiders where Katara confronts the ways in which she has projected the trauma of her mother’s murder at the hands of the Fire Nation onto Zuko, who is now a valued ally). It’s quite another to claim that neither of you can ever escape the ontological categories of oppressor vs victim even if you’ve both changed the world.

#Also the water tribes were never even fucking colonies so even the premise is wrong but other folks have talked about that #The colonizer does not exist without the colonized that’s like anticolonialism 101 #source: my anticolonialism seminar where I first read The Colonizer and the Colonized #Zutara #Zutara meta #atla fandom critical #Pro Zutara #anti anti Zutara #look what the antis made me do they made me type anti twice #my meta #ATLA colonization discourse #which apparently warrants a tag now lmao

[ogachukwu-the-freak]

Can't fucking stand Black Butler antis, YES my favorite scene was the fucking asthma scene bitch AND???? I'M WEIRD? WHY DID YOU WATCH AN ANIME WITH CLEARLY SUGGESTIVE SCENES LIKE THAT HUH???

SPEAK UP.

#talking as if we didn't all know what the undertones were with the corset scene #if you hate that shit so much rhis isn't YOUR space #it's OURS #I remember the fanart. bitch i remember the sebaciel MEMES I'd scroll through on Pinterest #with comments laughing about how funny or adding on to it #i remember the youtube compilations and the bitches all swooning at the sebaciel scenes #and now youre going to sit there #and look at me like I'M the freak for still being like this. mother. fucking. bitch eHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE THEN????? #why are you WATCHING why are you READING without SOME DEGREE OF *TOLERANCE* FOR SEBACIEL #I'm sorry. it's not like I've been even too involved in Kuroshitsuji in recent years just #it feels like.. entitlement to me? it rubs me the wrong way #proship #proship rant #sebaciel #pro ship #pro fiction #do i tag this as shotacon? #proshippers please interact

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

#personal update #I got into Trolls #but I mean really really really into it #new fixation the brainrot is unstoppable #it’s all I think about I’m to the point that I need all Trolls content to survive #all Trolls content HAND IT OVER! merch fanart fics ALL OF IT #I’m so in love with Branch Floyd and John Dory #Rock Zombie Branch is sooooooo #and so I’d Rock Zombie Poppy #I AM THE NUMBER ONE JOHN FORY DEFENDER LEAVE HIM ALONE HE DID NOTHING WRONG AND DOESNT DEAERVE THE HATE HE GETS #I need what Broppy have oh my fucking god it’s so cute the love they have for each other it’s consuming me #and I need more of Branch and Clay those two rule following safety loving nerds would have such a great relationship #DID YOU SEE CLAY FAWNING OVER BRANCH WHEN THEY REUNITED SQUISHING HIS CHEEKS #THATS HIS BABY BROTHER AND HES AS CUTE NOW AS HE WAS WHEN HE WAS A BABY #AND THE ENDING WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE WAS SORRY FOR MISSING HIM GROW UP BUT COULDNT WAIT FOR THWM TO HANG OUT NOW #everyone focuses on Branch and Floyd but I NEED BRANCH AND CLAY #Speaking of Floyd I love him so much. he’s all I think about. that is if I’m not thinking of Branch #John Dory is everything to me? like I’m obsessed with him in a different way. like I said I’ll defend him every single time #BRUUUUUUUCE!!! 💞💞💞💞💞 #Trolls 3 is still in cinemas and I’ve literally been going to rewatch it once a week #no joke I’m going again this Wednesday #AND I HAVE THE FILM AT HOME! I have all 3 of them and I watch them every day #I’m telling you the brainrot is unstoppable I am going insane #People apparently don’t like when I talk about any other interest of mine especially Trolls #it’s like I’m almost not allowed to talk about anything other than Good Omens #so since people don’t like me doing permanent posts YOU’RE GETTING IT IN THE TAGS #okay I’m done…. for now. #Crowley #Crowley Of The Day #Good Omens

[quiddie]

Okay, I see a lot of people talking about Laerryn’s work in terms of the spell Plane Shift. Now I know that’s ultimately my fault because of how I spoke about the remains of the solar bow, but that isn’t what she’s attempting.

Now let me say all this with the grain of salt that I’m not trying to remove all blame from LCS - I know who she is and what I built into her and what she’s capable of and willing to do - but I do think it’s inaccurate to call her uncaring (in terms of the citizens of Avalir) and despotic in her single-mindedness.

First, the Astral Leywright. Simply put, it builds a new leyline road through other planes. Now, Laerryn runs and maintains the engines & batteries, but she doesn’t steer the city. That’s Helmswoman Akami Rowe’s job. That’s the Navigator’s Guild’s choice. *That* is why LCS thinks of it as a gift to the city and to history - it’s an opportunity, not an obligation (or worse, a coercion like Plane Shift would be.) Yes, she’s taken a lion’s share of the energy stored for this Replenishment - but just this once (and what are 7 years to an elf, really?) and the thing she gives back is a new leyline that goes not North or East or South but OUT. (And the solar bow’s planar attunement was primarily to help the AL know the directionality of building a leyline in a new axis.) And Avalir could (not MUST) use it. Anyone can use it.

And sure, maybe the Septarion and the citizens will be too confused or scared to use it at first but that’s fine - the point wasn’t that we have to go NOW, only that this was her one chance to make the leyline at ALL (or at least until the next apogee solstice). So her thought is that the city doesn’t have to understand right now, but eventually they’ll get it and history will remember her fondly for making the road to the next big discoveries a little easier.

Keep in mind, Laerryn is one of the smartest people in the city (e1 “often the most cerebral”) that took a vital but understated job (e1 “no one understands exactly what you do to ask you for anything”) with no laurels attached (e2 her envy when walking through the Magisterium and seeing the resources allocated on their behalf vs. the Court of Workings) so if she wanted glory she could just pick a different job and immediately get the praise her talents would garner. Instead, she dedicated her life to quietly and dutifully protecting the Heart of Avalir, and expanding on the city’s mission statement (travel the leylines collecting knowledge and magic to share with the world).

With all that said, please continue raging at Laerryn’s choices because that’s fun and good and fine and honestly I love watching it. I just wanted to clear up that one fuzzy area.

#critical role #exandria unlimited #critical role spoilers #exu #cr spoilers #exu spoilers #exu calamity #laerryn coramar seelie #don’t get me wrong #she’s ambitious as fuck #but she thinks she’s doing it for the people of avalir #and the future of Exandria #and isn’t that so much worse #now that you see where it led and what she’s done #she broke the world for them. ALL OF THEM. #(but mostly for him) #and she’d do it again #because she still thinks she could win #she doesn’t know what kind of story she’s in

[bittersweetresilience]

so do you think he succeeded?

#i woke up out of nowhere at seven in the morning with his speech playing in my head over and over again #a better world. a free world. turn me into shredded paper #and i was thinking about how i would be really annoyed if the wish never had any consequences because if that was the case félix deserved #to make his own. in this new world there's still obfuscation. people are still pulling the strings. there's still fucking nepotism LMAO #i also almost put the ring scene as who gets powers and who doesn't because i think a lot about whether ladybug would have granted all #sentimonsters autonomy or only the ones she perceives to be human #i didn't because i couldn't find anything else that fit what's right or wrong but know i have many thoughts on this subject #miraculous ladybug #🌃 #ml gifs #ml emotion #ml recreation #ough... félix #sunny from the future here i kept this in my drafts for a bit but it shall now be dispensed to you because i am a magnanimous ruler

[queer-reader-07]

the fact that crowley stopped jim from jumping out the window the moment it was clear that jim was not just gabriel fucking with everyone is so personal to me. because:

“okay, i know you’re testing them, you said you were going to be testing them. you shouldn’t test them to destruction.”

crowley was never going to let him jump out that window, he just needed to push him far enough to be sure it wasn’t gabriel.

#there’s something there about what this represents thematically but i’m too tired to figure it out right now #so feel free to pick it apart in the notes #anyways i love crowley sm #when i heard him say that line the first time it resonated deeply with me #it finally hit me why so many biblical stories rubbed me the wrong way growing up #why the way the school system works irks me to no end #no one deserves to be tested to destruction and i will happily die on that hill #good omens #crowley #anthony j crowley #jimbriel #archangel gabriel #archangel fucking gabriel