#what another character of mine changing their name because the old one doesn't fit

[ace-malarky]

Welcome

in which the one and only phoenix of the mist worlds finds a new home after definitely not running away from her old one on account of the Changes

~~~

 She hadn’t fled, is the thing, but she couldn’t stand the pitying looks from her friends and family, those that knew her before she changed.

 Before she saved the world. Back when they didn’t think she’d lost anything.

 So she’d left, but she’d told them and maybe she’d be back, but there were whole worlds out there where they didn’t know who she was and what she’d done.

 She flew through the Mist, its cold burning off against her wings. Chose a gate at random, dived through above the line of travellers waiting in line.

 Suckers.

 The world beyond the Mist was a sprawl of a city that petered out into fields as far as the eye could see. It was different from her home, and that was a delight.

 At the edge of the city was a tent, all white and red stripes, and vehicles parked around it. A circus?

 She dived, curiosity getting the better of her.

 There was a buzz of noise about it. Animals and people, all shouting back and forth, running between the tent and the caravans, setting up yet more tents and enclosures.

 There were creatures – Beast, really, with a capital B – that she’d only ever read about in stories and folklore.

 Like she was now, really.

 She landed on a post by one of them that mostly looked like a horse with wings, a bird’s head, and talons on its feathered front legs rather than hooves.

 It cocked its head to inspect her with one bright eye.

 She folded her wings tight against her back and didn’t quite meet its gaze.

 “Is that one of Fen’s constructs left lying around against?” said someone behind her. “I didn’t think she was working on anything like this.”

 The creature clicked its beak, partially unfolding its wings.

 She turned her head to see a woman standing there.

 “Oh, you’re not – Fen!” The woman turned to yell for someone.

 “I’m not a construct,” said the bird.

 “What are you, then?” To her credit, the woman didn’t seem too startled by her talking.

“The phoenix. Where is–”

 “What is it, Hunt? I’m fine-tuning some really delicate – oh you’re a beauty, aren’t you?” Another woman poked her head out of a nearby caravan, welder’s goggles over her eyes. “Oh, you’re a real spark of genius, aren’t you? I bet they’re kicking themselves for losing you.”

 “It’s not–”

 “No one made me,” said the phoenix. “Except maybe I made myself.”

 This one jumped, pushing her goggles back into her hair. “Well fuck.”

 “I’ve never heard of a phoenix sighting,” said the first.

 “Only kid’s stories. Damn, and it was just out here?”

 The phoenix spread her wings, readying to take off. Maybe this wasn’t a good spot for a break.

 “No – wait, wait, sorry. Let’s start again.” The woman with the goggles held out her hands as if to stop the phoenix from leaving. “I’m Fen. This is Hunt. What can we call you?”

 The phoenix hesitated. Her old name was – not known out here, but if people came looking…

 It was also a name for the person she had been, not the being she’d become.

 “Spark,” she said. “You can call me Spark.”

 “Delighted to make your acquaintance.” Fen smiled. “What brings you to our circus?”

 “Curiosity,” Spark replied, folding her wings back in. “I don’t remember the last time I went to the circus.”

 “Well, you’re in luck, my friend, because the Everrin Circus is the finest that travels the Mist.” Fen spread her arms to encompass it, bowing.

 Spark laughed.

 “Would you like a tour?”

 “Aren’t you fine-tuning something really delicate?” Hunt asked, sounding gently amused.

 “That’s not needed until this evening.” Fen waved her off. “Now.” She held out her arm, which was wrapped to keep her sleeves tight against her wrist. “Or you can walk, but riding in style?”

 Spark hopped from her perch to the ground and didn’t grumble as she barely came up to Fen’s waist. This new form was ridiculous.

 Hunt stayed behind as Fen led Spark into the chaotic noise and bustle of the circus.

 “We’ve only just pulled up here,” Fen said. “Normally it’s a little quieter of a morning, but this is also our first day here so it’s all the set up.”

 Spark craned her head to see what she could. “It seems so chaotic.”

 “It is. Organised chaos, but all the same. You’re lucky to have found us here, actually, this is our last stop before entering the Mist again.”

 “You travel it a lot?”

 “Sure do. Which world are you from? We might have been there before.”

 “I don’t know its name.” Spark shook her head. “But it only recently joined the Mist.”

 “Oh, wild.” Fen was silent as she thought that over. “So – are there other Phoenixes there?”

 “No, I’m the only one.”

 “Oh.” Fen fell silent as she led Spark nearer to the side of the big tent, down an avenue between the fabric of it and the ropes holding it in place. “That must be lonely.”

 Spark blinked. “I – I guess so.” It wasn’t that she hadn’t considered it, exactly, but it was definitely something she hadn’t been intentionally thinking about.

 “Sorry,” Fen said. “Didn’t mean to send you–”

 “Fen!”

 “Asin! Fancy seeing you here!” Fen looked up, grinning and spreading her arms wide in welcome. “I’ve made a new friend.”

 “And the drones for tonight? Are they – oh that is cute.” A woman – shorter and curvier than Fen, white and blonde and harried looking, a tablet in her hands – blinked down at Spark.

 “I’ve never been called cute before,” Spark said, spreading out her train a little. “Not looking like this, anyway.”

 “Fen?” The woman tensed, a crackle of electricity playing at her fingers. “What have you done?”

 “I – nothing!” Fen laughed. “Asin, this is Spark. She’s a phoenix from Off-World. Spark, this is Asin, my cousin.”

 “… Sorry,” Asin said. “You said phoenix?”

 “Yup. She can stay with us for a while, right?”

 Asin shrugged faintly. “Sure, why not. Welcome to Everrin Circus, Spark.”

 “Thanks?”

 “It’ll take her a minute,” Fen said in a stage whisper. “Now come on, there’s so much more to show you.” She ushered Spark past Asin. “And yes, Asin, I’ll get everything finished before opening.”

 Spark followed her, bobbing her head to Asin. She hadn’t meant this to be ore than a brief visit, but… well, if they were going to be so welcoming…

 She might as well stay for longer.

#writing pieces #mist worlds #spark #asin #genevieve hunt #everrin circus #Fen #fen is also here. I am not sold if that is her whole name or just part or a nickname or what. but we're rolling with it just now #what another character of mine changing their name because the old one doesn't fit #what a surprise who could have seen that coming #lmao

[okthatsgreat]

i would gladly listen to any information about tao that you're willing to share actually. she seems like the character of all time

whoever this is i love you and also youve just released something ungodly within me i actually just sat down and scribbled together some sort of reference sheet for her LMFAOO. imagine this design but even more danganronpa-ified you get it

none of this makes any sense if you dont know what fic im talking about just as a warning!!!!!!!!

also just a warning i am talking about her execution here so if youre not chill with death and violence and disturbing shit and all that please dont continue!!! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

anyways time to be normal about her. her full name is tao uyemura she's the ultimate miner :) she practically grew up in a mine due to her father's work and the crew she was always with pretty quickly realised "oh hey we can't fit in these small openings...... but you know who CAN 🤔" so they let her tag along even though they absolutely should not have let a little girl in the mines. later she grew a whole lot and essentially became one of the best miners in her field, extremely knowledgable about minerals and caves, as well as remarkably agile and able to manoeuvre herself in tough spots. it is however during this period where she grew remarkably tough due to a personal loss and also people just generally kind of being assholes towards her lmao so her solution was to Be Mean and Return to the Mines. she's honest to a comical level, takes things very literally, has this very deep voice that usually never gets raised above speaking volume because she doesn't need to yell to be intimidating she just IS.

in the first season she appeared in she was a secondary antagonist/survivor and she clashed with the protagonist/love interest a LOT, would constantly attempt to make the love interest see her side of things and stop trusting the protag with his hope spiels, would keep bits of evidence to herself so she always had something over the group and couldn't be killed unless they wanted to lose that evidence as well, etc. and it wasnt even the protag who managed to convince her to soften a little bit lol it was another unnamed character whose death severely impacted tao in a way that made her change her mind on the whole "trust nobody think for yourself" mentality. i dont have much on this season just because it's relatively unimportant to her story and also at that point team dr was just recycling a bunch of old tropes so she wasnt really considered groundbreaking to any of the audience lmfao

she wakes up from the danganronpa simulator pissed as hell for herself and for her friends, is extremely outspoken the entire time, makes multiple attempts at publicly making team dr's atrocities known, and eventually joins a team of people who were attempting to break out of the hospital they were in. unfortunately shit happened and she got caught about two weeks later 😔😔😔😔

the SECOND season she appeared it was brutal as hell for her because at this point it was basically a punishment. because there were a few other people from her season who were similarly being punished (ultimate motivational speaker, ultimate archer, both of whom died last season), danganronpa essentially had to backtrack and say that the first season tao was in was virtual reality in canon which explains why these dead people are alive again lmfao. tao is still comically blunt and not very willing to open up to strangers, but she is extremely loyal to the people she does put trust in and believes that being respectable is better than being kind. she's the second blackened of the game after one of her closest friends (an ultimate jeweller, they bonded over their lines of work!! the jeweller also reminded tao of that one unnamed character whose death impacted her last season so she gravitates towards the jeweller a bit more than the others) accidentally fatally struck another classmate. tao basically finished them off while the jeweller was running to get people bc damn it tao isnt gonna let her friend get executed for some stupid ass reason again !!!!!!!! but uhhhhhhhhhh team dr wasnt taking any hits with her execution 😧 idk if you think about cave diving as much as i do but god damn that shit is scary and that is essentially the basis of her execution, she's shown an "exit" that is through these old mines so she starts making her way through the cave system. the tunnels get smaller and smaller and as soon as she realises that its only going to get smaller from here it's way too late for her as it's become so narrow that she literally can't turn around anymore, until eventually she makes it to a particularly narrow tunnel where her foot gets stuck and she's essentially just hung upside down for literal days until they grew sick of her hanging there crying and filled the cave system with concrete. Lol! 😀👍🏻

#this is the first time ive put literally any of this into words so sorry if it makes zero sense #but thank you very much for asking >:))) #anonymous #ask lee #lee art #oc: tao

[dkniade]

i love the way you write 😭😭 i’ve checked out a bunch of your stuff over the last few days and i am eyeballing your works respectively

from one midnight poet to another — what inspires you to take up poetry as a medium? who are your favorite authors/poets/inspirations?

Ahh, thank you! That’s very flattering to hear!

As for what inspires me to write poetry… Mostly my own feelings and thoughts, I’d say. The same goes for writing and journaling, but when I’m upset I find poetry to be one of the fastest mediums (if I’m in the mood to do so) to relieve my stress, anger— something like that. Personally it works much better for stress and anger towards particular things than sadness because if I’m just sad with no reason, finding words and essentially finding a concrete thing to be sad about makes it worse for me. Though with that being said, I’m trying to learn how to write wholesome poems about healing, as well. (I think.)

Poetry, to me, is an amplifier and a type of freedom, I guess. There are some things I can’t really say to others in real life, but in poetry I’ve no audience (in the sense that I’m not actually speaking to anyone) so I don’t have to worry about my diction and tone.

But also, I think poetry is a great way to tell a character's story concisely, maybe even in-character too, especially if the character is a poet themselves. Writing in-character poems, for example my Venti poems “Flute Song” and “Song of Feathers Fit For Flight”, forces me to think like the character and then kind of create something as the character, which I find interesting. I'm writing as the character who’s writing something themselves.

As for other poets/inspirations… Initially it was anime opening themes, particularly Hello Sleepwalkers’ “Goya no Machiawase” (Overnight Appointment/Midnight Rendezvous) because of the idea of going towards and talking to oneself.

おやすみ　その絶望を受け取って

明日への僕は歩き始めた

また今夜　待ち合わせよう

Good night, I accept this despair and

Started walking towards tomorrow

Let’s meet again tonight!

And then it changed to the VOCALOID producer Neru’s works in his first two albums Sekai Seifuku and My Name Is Love Song. If I had to pick songs then I’d say “How To World Domination”. (Note: This is Oktavia’s translation which conveys the intentions well I’d say)

どうせ愛なんてって薄幸ぶって強がっても

きっと本心じゃ疚しさに襲われて

どうだい現状の僕は

そうかい、どうしようもないな

うるさいなお前なんて大嫌いだ

Even if I say “To hell with love”, embracing my misery and feigning a “I’ve stopped giving a shit” sort of air

I know I couldn’t do that without feeling ashamed for hiding how I really feel

How goes things, my present day self?

Oh I see, it’s hopeless, huh?

God you piss me off, I hate you so much!

and “Terror”

やられたらやり返せ 君の番だ 捨てた夢の全てを拉致しろ

心の居場所を賭したレジスタンス

笑われたその分だけ 笑い返せ 言わば人生のクーデター

勝ちも負けもない延長戦 僕らの反撃前夜

If they strike at you, strike back! It’s your turn now! Take back every one of your abandoned dreams

It’s a resistance where your heart’s place is at stake

Laugh back only as much as you were laughed at! A coup d’état of life, so to speak

Going into overtime with neither wins nor losses

It’s the eve of our counterattack

But recently it’s been the alt-folk band The Amazing Devil’s lyrics. I like their style and their rhythm and rhymes a lot, but also I LOVE their call-and-response sort of conversational lyrics. I guess I’m finally thinking about that more since, well, they write songs in English where the aforementioned aspects are easier to pick out (than in Japanese).

I remember for my “The Immature Liege and the Heartless Joker”, I was inspired by “The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace”. (You can see it even in the title too.)

'Cause we'll dance together so close we're sharing breath

But now I'm leading, doesn't that just scare you to death?

'Cause I'm all yours, you're all mine

Let's dance together, you and I

'Cause I'm not trapped, oh with you, you see

You're the one who's trapped with me

And then, “Farewell Wanderlust” has the “flirting with your (metaphorical) enemy” sort of vibe that I also really like.

"Come, devil, come, " she sang, "call out my name"

Let's take this outside, 'cause we're one and the same

Our gods have abandoned us, left us instead

Take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead

Defiance. It seems in the songs and artists I like, there’s always a sense of defiance against unpleasant feelings. I like the idea of telling yourself to be stronger and stand up for yourself, or if you’re not ready for that yet, then at least face your feelings as they are without trying to soften it to make them sound acceptable. It’s what I strive for in my pieces too.

#dusk answers #hello sleepwalkers #Goya no machiawase #Neru #Neruke #how to world domination #the amazing devil #the old witch sleep and the good man grace #farewell wanderlust

[dandeliicns]

“behind the scenes” for whichever muse/s you're feeling atm !

So actually wanna talk about Victoria. There's a really sad, cringy, just all over the place story with her and I talked about it today with a coworker of mine who also writes but does fanfiction instead.

So Victoria actually is an old recycled muse. Back when i was a baby rper and didn't know my way around shit. I came up with three, just like the Atlas' you see today. There names with Maybelle, Vincent and who you see today Victoria. However I was so FUCKING BAD at coming up with my own shit. I wanted to fit in, I wanted to be liked, I wanted to be popular and i did it in all the wrong ways. Like really wrong ways, I had like...2 ? Yeah 2 call out posts dedicated to me and how badly I fucked up and screwed over friends back then.

Victoria back then was Japanese oriented, was cringy and called people "san" and just all types of ways of wrong, I see that now and I'm still kicking myself in the ass for it. Tumblr 2013-maybe 2016 was just a whole trip. You could get away with more when it came to characters and it'd just be power of the pencil or power of the plot and no one would bat an eye. I like how it is now because you have to research, you have to make sure the fc matches the characters background and I love that now!

So with Victoria's revamp and recycle I kept some same elements but changed A LOT.

First off, and not just with her, I made the Atlas' American basically. Still have some regional background but they actually don't know about the history or culture. Reason being? That's an aspect of my life. My mom comes from another country but never took the time to teach me my culture bc she wanted to break generational trauma( we can get into that later). My reason the Atlas' knowing bits and pieces example being; Tyler knowing Italian based dishes from his mom, is because my mom taught us Guyanese based dishes and cooked them often.

Second, I kept her reserved nature because that's the person I became during my time in the Army. Victoria is a glorified version of me introverted but also my way of thinking. Notice how in threads, she hardly talks with people she doesn't really know but there's a lot of thinking and reflecting? I don't do that but SHE does. She's constantly situationally aware(another army trait of mine), she's over-analyzing, her head is basically on an internal swivel. I do that myself but not as much. When she's with people she knows, examples being Seonho, Jenna Wilcox, Leo she talks A LOT, she jokes, she teases, even curses sometimes. That's the indication that she's opening up, she's letting her personality show and it's almost a mirror of Rosalie. Expect! Victoria is very logic-based, I get this from my dad. He'll listen to you, he'll help you but he's always going to give you a logical explanation or result to a problem, unlike Rosalie who follows her heart.

There's a lot of Victoria I can talk about because she's been with me since the beginning. She's my biggest fuck up but also my biggest character development over the years because she went from being a dog water, anime uwu girl to being the representation of composure, loyalty, intelligence, and logical. I love her so much and I'm so proud of the work I've done with her because I feel as if I'm literally writing/righting my wrongs from when I was a pre-teen/teenager and if I could, I'd apologize HEAVILY to those I hurt in the past.

NOW, my question for you!

What story would you like to portray with Cami? What are some plots you want to try and what are some AU's you'd like to do in the future with her?

#indigodreames #✿ | ❝ mentally i'm like shaq on stilts. ❞ ⤏ out of chara ( m is speaking ) #tw: long post #tw: VERY LONG FUCKING POST

[juniiperx]

If you haven't heard, (original tweet was deleted, thread still remains)

DeviantArt created an AI generator using the database of all the art in the platform where everyone was originally opted-in by default and to opt-out you had to fill in a form that may take days to be revised and could get rejected, allowing DeviantArt essentially steal all of your artwork.

They listened to the people and made it so every art is opted-out by default in this other tweet.

Although they "fixed" it but as of now have yet to apologize to all the artists the platform has offensively dared to steal from... in my eyes, DeviantArt is dead.

I also consider twitter dead in my eyes but that's another story and irrelevant to what I wish to discuss.

Because of the horrible executive actions DeviantArt, I have removed my past presence from the platform and I want to talk about my finds.

.

.

.

DeviantArt, in the past, was a very influential platform for little ol' me so going back to remove my old art was a trip down memory lane.

There was a total of four accounts. I always struggled with identity online and because you needed to pay to change username, i simply made a new account instead. It was... nice. I saw four stages of my art growth that made me nostalgic.

.

The first account I went to was my latest account, 2019-2020.

It had my most recent artwork with little to no description. It was no cause of nostalgia because it was my latest and still had art that I consider okay. It was my most urgent to remove from the platform trying to steal it.

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The second account I visited was of 2016-2019. Apparently by 2018-2019 was when I started spending most of my time on Amino since there's a couple of posts drawing OCs of people from Amino. Despite mainly spending my time on another platform, I still posted occasionally to DeviantArt.

But let's talk about the past first, 2016-2017, my second most active year on DeviantArt. I posted drawings of my OCs and characters I simply designed for the sake of it with a brief description.

This was my first drawing posted on that account:

"Vladik" nov 29, 2016

This is a fellow character of mine named Vladik (whatarelastnames) who's from a story that I may write. I'm also gonna write a better description than this later but for now satisfy with a one sentence explanation.

He's that typical shy guy at first that the more you get to know, the more annoying and flirty he'll get as well as his edgy, dark past and- oh the pain! (making fun of my own characters ftw) but even with that he keeps that little smile as his past events haunts his mind... becuz he secretly edgy

-

Yeah, I was young and had recently figured out how to use a drawing tablet. My biggest art inspiration that contributed to my current style was the youtuber "LeslieLu Marie" (great artist, check her out).

Looking back at it, oh how I wish I had explained more... This character, back then, was one of my main OCs I'd think about a lot and even used for roleplays with my friend. I had a very detailed and tragic backstory for him that I no longer remember since it was such a long time ago.

The vague memory I have, he was a soldier (?) and had a group of friends but one friend went against him so he had to kill his friend. Years after, his dead friend came back for revenge (?). He truly doesn't fit the design but looking back, how fun heh. It's fun to look back at what younger me was creating, elaborate plots and relationships, all the things that shape my current story.

All the other characters were in similar fashion, either being a mere design or being a very detailed OC with complex backstories. Unfortunately, it's all stories lost to time because I never wrote detailed descriptions. I can never know the stories I had planned because I was very secretive, I kept it secret from my own friend because I wanted to be mysterious and only reveal it once I have an established comic/novel. The sad reality is that, that day never came... and those stories became secret to my own self as I read back only to find nothing.

The OC story I remember the most is of Vladik and I already wrote what I remembered, it's not a lot... the fact that I may never remember what these characters were was slightly upsetting for me.

This was my last drawing posted to that account and also my first and only traditional drawing:

"Snek boi" Jan 13, 2019

Oh wow traditional art o^o

-

...I vaguely remember that he had a name and story but I recall no details of it. Again, his story is a mystery to myself.

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The other account was 2015, the creepypasta phase.

Let's briefly talk of the backstory and mentality of 13 yr old me:

I was introduced to DeviantArt and Wattpad before that age and now I was old enough to actually use the internet and those platforms without lying about it online.

I thought "Jeff the Killer" was hot and that his story was sad and therefore excused the murders. I wanted and eventually did make my own creepypasta (lost to time) and I remember I had two creepypasta OCs, my Jeff the Killer rip-off named "Crooked Smile" and my Liu rip-off named "Cody"... obsessed with Jeff the Killer is an understatement.

I believed the only valid way for me to post art was digital art and that traditional art wasn't good enough to be post and if I did post it, it was of no use because my camera was crappy and it'd look bad either way. Therefore, I drew my creepypasta OCs but I never posted them because they were all traditional.

I pirated Paint Tool Sai... as I'm sure most artists did back then, right?

I was now involving myself more with the horror community because of creepypasta and I still interact with media involving horror movies (Mista GG) and stories involving murder and other (MrBallen).

(No, I do not and will never consider myself part of True Crime Community.)

And then I moved from being obsessed with Jeff the Killer to being obsessed with Ben Drowned and that's when I started posting on that DeviantArt account on 2015.

Backstory over, let's go over to my first drawing posted on that account:

"*Warning*" Jan 1, 2015

As it says there I'm a creepypasta-fan, soooooooooooo... I draw creepy stuff

(I draw horrible T-T)

well at least I finished the drawing and OMFG! it took me ALOT of time to draw it

first: I drew the boy in paint XP (or something like that) but I couldn't leave it like that with no background

second: sooooooo... I went to paint tool sai to do the background, but people wont understand WHY did I drew it soooooo...

third: I went to paint to put a text and FINALLY I finished and I'm so happy

I don't know who the f**k is he... maybe Ben idk do you think that he could be my OC because only the eyes are similar to Ben but nothing else right?

okay maybe its Ben in casual eating some kidneys with Jack? (nah... we all know that E.J. wont ever share his kidneys and Ben will never eat that right?Sweating a little...)

well whatever hope you enjoy it and leave a comment always helps me (please no critiques)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EDIT: hahhahahaha no (2017)

-

Oh my creepypasta phase... even though it's as one calls "cringe", I look back at those memories fondly. It was a weird but fun era for me, making those drawings of my "Ben Drowned" rip-off.

Myles Thorme, creepypasta name being "The Missing Thought", catchphrase: "Are you lost? Because I think you're missing." He was my most developed OC in public. He even had a comic and a completed journal with his backstory which is frankly... a hilarious read.

The best of this character is not the poorly drawn blood on his mouth or his hilarious choice of style but the fact that he was the one to help me connect to a community for the first time ever browsing the internet. You see, after making him, I looked up DeviantArt groups to join, something roleplay focuses because me and my friend would roleplay but since they moved, we haven't been able to do so. Because of that and because of my obsession with creepypasta, I found "Proxy High", a creepypasta fan group where slenderman was the director and was housing a bunch of creepypasta fan OCs that were his proxies.

This was my input to the group, and the first time I fully moved from MS paint to Paint Tool Sai:

"The Missing Thought/ Proxy High" Jan 3, 2015

For Proxy High

I only have one OC sooooooo. . . yeah nothing else[Green Link Sweat]

is the uniform okay? cause idk

and know I'm officially ready for rp I am a dummy!

(I forgot to say that in the school he's ANTI-social, but I HOPE he can finally find a friend)

Name: Myles Thorme

Proxy name: The Missing Thought

Nickname: Missing

Gender: Male

Age: 13

Class: Green

OC: yukkim.deviantart.com/art/

Back Story (how he became a proxy):

He went though the city, getting a new victim like always. He covered his face with his hoodie. When he finished his daily walk in the city he went into the woods. Lucky he found a young teenager wondering through the woods. Trying to forget what happened last he went to say hi.

"Hello", said Missing.

"Ah! you scared me, what's your name", said the girl.

"Are you lost?, Cause I think you're missing", said Missing.

"I am lost but not missing!", she said.

Immediately Missing stab her in the stomach, he kept stabbing her again and again. When she was unconscious on the floor, he got matchstick and burned her body. He ran away before the fire catch him. While he was running, he noticed that his knife was missing. He went back so there where no clue of his existents. He saw that the knife was on the girl that was now on fire. He grabbed his knife as quick as possible and went running. But then, he notice that the fire surround him. "Its the end, I'm dead", he said sitting there waiting for the fire to catch him. When the fire was inches of him, he heard a static from the distance. "Open your eyes Myles", said a mysterious voice. Missing was shocked. Nobody new his real name. "Well that doesn't makes sense", said Missing. He blinked and the fire was gone. Missing was surprised. He saw a tall man in suit but no face. "Ummmm. . . hi! thanks for saving me", he said waving his hand. He heard the static again it eventually got louder and louder, hurting Missing's ears. He fell unconscious on the floor by the static. He heard the faceless man. "You will work for a proxy", said the man.

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EDIT: this be were I met my friends Llama Emoji-50 (Whistling) [V3]

-

Well isn't that a hilarious read? I posted this to the group which they surprisingly accepted me in and for the first time I had received an influx of comments starting roleplays. It was lots of fun roleplaying with so many people even if my OC was definitely one of the hilariously bad OCs the group had.

After gaining some... notoriety, I began making a comic about Myles life in the school. It didn't last long but oh I sure had fun making it.

I'm glad I wrote as much as I did about this character, even though it's such a bad character. I know him really well, know his story which was so dramatic and funny, and his relationships with others. He (and I) had a good friend which was a rip-off of "Ticci-Toby" but essentially the only difference was that she was a girl. We'd roleplay a lot until... well I started to grow out of the creepypasta phase and sadly, I left her behind. Where ever she or they are, I hope they're okay and remember this phase as fondly as I do.

.

I left that account on 2016 when I got a drawing tablet and began learning how to use it which afterwards, I made the DeviantArt account I spoke of above. I did however, briefly came back to it on 2017, reading messages of old friends that had moved on from the creepypasta community. It was a bittersweet feeling to see messages but having abandoned them but in a way... it was a nice closure.

This, wasn't my last drawing posted there but I think it's the drawing that matters the most to move on from this chapter:

"Draw This Again" Apr 7, 2017

cuz y not make it a meme [Llama Emoji-66 (Orly) [V3]

.

The last account I visited was my first ever DeviantArt account and it was made on 2014 when I was 12 yrs old. Yes, I lied online about my age to join DeviantArt.

I was drawn in by my friend who recommended me to read a comic they found about, at the time, favorite movie "Rise of the Guardians". The was a fan comic which involved an OC called "Mori the shifter". I loved that comic and it was the first comic I read and finished.

During that time, despite reading a comic with humanoid creatures, I was more into drawing feral and anthropomorphic animals. Essentially I was (and still consider myself to be) a furry.

In the old account, I'd draw furries and most of them had no story whatsoever. I had a fursona which I named "Happy" (because it was before I was diagnosed with persistent depression... cough).

There wasn't much on that account but I did revisited on 2016 for a redraw:

"Draw this again- Happy" Dec 9, 2016

2014 vs. 2016

Sooooo I found my old account in deviantart and damn... wtf iz dis shet I've seen some things - [Emoticon ... Nino Wants To Die] I then decided to re-draw it because.. why not?

Her name is supposed to be Happy because she's an optimistic lil sh!t

I don't care what she was in the past or what you all say but she gay...HA! GAAAAAY! (Emoticon) LOLOLOLOLOL

ALL DA HOMO :rainbowfrog:

-

But there's something I have yet to mention about this account. I apparently had a story about a group of wolf friends? I wrote nothing related to them because I, again like my recent self, wanted to keep it a secret until I made a comic I never started. All I remember was a black wolf named Shadow who was the villain of the story.

I sadly don't remember any other details of the story...

.

Before all this, before my slow transition to the online media on 2013 and before that... my childhood was spent drawing traditionally a comic about wolves and their adventures in the world which I have unfortunately lost the 4-6 completed notebooks (Yes, all the pages filled) of.

And before that? 2012 I believe I was roleplaying with "Littlest Pet Shop", having complicated stories inspired by the novelas my mother and I would watch before bed.

And before, before that? I was roleplaying irl with my friend about wolves, inspired by (and yes bare with me) "Alpha and Omega", the movie about wolves and "forbidden romance".

Before, before, before all that? I was just me being a kid. I still am me but as an adult I guess. It's alright, I'm having fun roleplaying with my current boyfriend. I'm thinking about elaborate stories and plots to do with him.

I had fun then and I'm still having fun and I hope my future self also has fun whatever they're doing.

.

.

.

Why did I write all this?

Be cause if I could go back and change one thing about the past I'd do one thing... I'd write more. I'd tell my younger self to write down the silly little stories they have planned. Tell them that it doesn't matter if they have an audience or not because your own self is the best audience you will ever have.

You have no idea how much I wish I could know what was my younger thinking when I drew that purple wolf in 2014 or that snake character in 2019. How much I wish I could connect to my younger self like I can easily do with my 2015 creepypasta self.

So the real answer is, all this is for my future self. Hi, future self, enjoying the nostalgia trip? It's nice to look where you came from and compare to who you are now, no?

Whoever you are, whether it's myself or some random person online, wherever you are and however you are, please... look into your past fondly because your past is what shaped you into being you!

With that said, have a nice day/night :].

#deviantart #oc #nostalgia #creepypasta #to my future self #from my past self #hi :) #juniiblogs

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #14

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13]

[AO3]

~POV Mori~

I woke up when it was still dark out. Only the faintest light came in my windows.

I hadn't done anything yesterday. Just laid down and rested for the first time in a long time. The doctor's were convinced I needed one more day of rest, but I knew I was already better. When was the last time I had just let my body rest like that when I wasn't sick? I couldn't remember. This peace was nice.

The quiet of sunrise was only broken by the faint sound of bird calls in the distance. I sat up and closed my eyes. I focused everything on my other senses. I couldn't hear the ocean easily from here. I had wanted to use the sounds of the waves to meditate, but I would just have to do without.

It had been a few days since I last checked in with myself and really focused inward. I could still feel them, all of the Black Rukh that had merged with me back in Balbadd. They were much calmer than before. And they felt like a part of me now, like I might be incomplete if they were suddenly gone. I knew each one from the dreams too. Their lives were mine and each also now knew my life as their own.

Going through all of their lives on the ship would have been painful even without being sick. These were angry souls and they did not welcome the inner peace I was offering easily, but a person's Rukh doesn't lie. After reading this world's truth through my memories they all calmed.

All of us lived lives of loss and poverty and trauma. That must have been another part of why we were able to fully merge in such a short time.

As Black Rukh they couldn't return to the Great Flow where the rest of their loved ones were, but they at least had each other within me.

It was a very strange feeling.

And along with their lives and Rukh, their magoi was also now mine. What had felt like a small pool now felt like a large lake. I had a lot more magoi at my disposal now that they were fully integrated with me.

The Great Bell range and I grounded myself in the present.

Only then did it occur to me that I was probably sick, and suffering from the influx of Rukh separately at the same time. It had been both all along. Whatever illness I had was worsened by my situation with the Rukh. I hadn't lost my magoi manipulation during it, but it was probably learning it ahead of time that had saved me. There's no way such a large amount of Rukh entering me wouldn't have made my body unstable.

Would the doctors understand if I explained it to them? I should ask Sinbad before saying something unnecessary.

The dim light from my windows called to me. I got out of my bed, put on my glasses, and sat on the sill of one them at the encouragement of the waves.

Like this, I could look down and see the Palace court yard. On the other side of the court yard were the Silver Scorpio (martial arts training), and Black Libra (libraries & schools) Towers, behind them to the left was the Red Cancer Tower (military) and fully to the left was the Purple Leo Tower where Sinbad lived. Since I was on a high floor I could easily see all of the towers of the Palace from my windows -all except the White Capricorn Tower where Ja'far does most of his work since that building was on the other side of this one.

It was so strange. Looking at all this made it real that I was really here. How many times had I reread or rewatched scenes wondering what it would feel like to be here?

I rested my head on the window frame as I watched the growing light from the sunrise.

The guards changed.

The sun was fully risen. Ja'far would be waking up Sinbad soon if he hadn't already.

Two people walked out of the Purple Leo Tower -a guard and a woman. She wasn't wearing a uniform. In fact she was wearing less than the citizens I saw the other day.

"Oh, right."

Sinbad has a call girl see to him after Ja'far wakes him up.

I had the 3rd fan book for the anime which contains a day-in-the-life for a bunch of the main characters. It was only in Japanese, but I had learned enough (and could look up what I didn't know) to at least read his schedule.

The direct translation was for a "temporary woman" which from what I've found is the Japanese term for a fem sex worker. I've seen some translations for Magi's extra material refer to them as "call girls" so that was the term I chose to use.

The franchise used the word "harem" in a bunch of places, but purposely didn't use it here. That combined with an omake of Sinbad having a nightmare about being married and having a harem made it clear that Sinbad did not have a harem; he had the whole red-light district of his country to choose from.

Hold on... That book wasn't supposed to reach my house until after I had Isekaied so how did I know it's contents? There were barely any scans or photos of pages online-

*Knock knock*

My thoughts

were cut off when breakfast arrived -with more medicine of course.

---

~POV Sinbad~

Nearly a week had passed since King Sinbad had arrived home. There was a lot to catch up on. As much as he wanted to finally relax after everything that happened in Balbadd he didn't really have the time for it. Even after catching up he would still have to prepare for his trip to the Kou Empire. And Ja'far wasn't letting him forget either responsibility.

None of this stopped him from having his slow mornings. He at least gave himself that little slice of heaven.

This was business as usual -at least it was supposed to be- but Sinbad couldn't shake a growing feeling that he couldn't name. It was making him unsettled. The waves didn't give him any answers and drinking hadn't made it go away. It felt similar to missing important.

He wasn't missing any paperwork. There had been an issue with one of their supply ships going missing, and another being delayed, but he had already decided how to proceed. He was definitely interested in the progress the Black Libra Tower was making with testing Mori's theories, but the experiments would take time and they had already scheduled a meeting for an update. The new guests were still settling in. Alibaba was a mess and Aladdin was only marginally better the last time he had visited, but Morgiana was fine and already training with Masrur regularly. According to the doctors reports, Mori would be better in another day or so, and the reports he got from the maids said she was resting every day after giving that partial scroll.

Maybe this was impatience. Aside from his paperwork, everything interesting was either done or waiting for the next step.

Sinbad often walked his country in the evening, but there was no reason he couldn't check on things now. He didn't have time to go for a walk at that moment, but he could spare the magoi needed to use Zepar and fly around the country using the bird he had possessed with the Djinn's power. This wouldn't be the first time he'd done this while working on paperwork.

The bird was sitting on a railing in the city center when Sinbad took over. From this spot he could make some quick rounds in the city and then maybe make a stop in the Black Libra Tower to get a sneak peak at what they had found out so far.

The same old gossip filled most of the streets. Some price complaints, who just had a child, how work was going...

"You're serious? A prophet?”

"My husband saw the scrolls she made from her visions with his own two eyes."

Now that was new gossip.

Sinbad had the bird land near by the two women.

"Oh? What was in them?"

"He said it was like reading secrets of the world."

"Really???"

"Mhmm." She nodded. "Not everyone believes it though so they are all working to test her writing."

"Didn't you just say she was brought in by our King? Do they really think he'd be fooled by some false prophet?"

"I said the same thing! And you know what my husband said? He said that they need to find proof even if they believe the Prophet because otherwise we won't be able to prove it to our allied countries."

"I guess that makes sense..."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Oh! I think I might know what she looks like!”

"What? How? You only learned about her just now."

"When King Sinbad came home, there was a girl on some magical flying cloth, remember? That has to have been the Prophet!"

"I think you're right!"

To two moved on to some other gossip and King had the bird fly towards the Palace. Listening to talk about his Beautiful Prophet reminded him of his mission to peek at what was happening in the Black Libra Tower. Being able to bypass the stairs and the gates made the journey much faster.

The Sun was already in the western side of the sky. Shadows were cast onto the court yard from the Black Libra Tower. The stone of the Green Sagittarius Tower was nearly blinding white from the direct light. Color flashed in the corner of his eye as the bird flew past the upper levels of the guest tower. Before his thoughts had fully registered the familiar shade of nearly black indigo, Sinbad was guiding the bird to investigate. He landed on the railing of one of the windows and looked at the young woman resting against that same window's frame.

Mori looked just as surprised to see a bird land right in front of her as he was to be there. Sinbad had purposely been avoiding using Zepar to spy on Mori since she somehow knew that he had eavesdropped on her before. It had been days since he last saw her, so when she was suddenly an option-

"Heh hehe"

Mori's chuckle and smile took his full attention. He didn't know what had made her laugh, but he hoped she'd do it again.

"Sir, are you aware you are a bird?” After the words passed her lips she was struck by a giggle fit.

Sinbad had no idea what she was thinking or why she had said that to a bird, but he was hearing her voice for the first time in nearly a week so he'd worry about figuring it out later.

When Mori finished laughing at her own joke she leaned her head to the side and watched him. Her hair shifted and another lock spilled over her shoulder. The sight brought attention to the low neckline of the dress she was wearing. If Sinbad was there in person he would have brushed her hair out of the way just to have an excuse to touch her.

"Did you miss me that much?" Her voice was soft and a bit playful. "You didn't have to use Zepar to visit me."

Mori knew it was him! Sinbad jolted and his head hit the back of his chair in his office. How could she tell? Only magicians could see magoi and Rukh to see the spell active on the bird.

"Sin, is something wrong?-” Ja'far had just entered the room to give his afternoon report.

King Sinbad raised a hand for him to be quiet and tapped Zepar's ring to explain the situation. He didn't want to talk and miss something Mori said or did.

The General's expression turned serious and nodded as he went quiet.

When Mori didn't get a response from the bird she added, "Are you surprised that I knew it was you?" Her smile was warm as the sun. "I have read your Fate many times, so I will always recognize you, my King."

Normally, the idea that someone could see through Zepar's magic would concern him, but this didn't. It strengthened his belief that Fate had guided Mori to him.

And the affectionate way she said "my King" at the end made him smile. The waves had moved like this a few times like the last time he had seen her in person, and when he learned she could also feel the waves. The Great Flow of the Rukh was guiding them to the Fate he could see, the one where she lived the rest of her life by his side.

Ja'far sighed. "Just let me know when I can give you my report."

Mori whipped her head towards the door to her room. "They're here early."

There were the sounds of people walking in the hallway, but no voices to denounce who, or their destination. All the same, Mori got up and walked to the door. She opened it before the doctors had a chance to knock.

"How did you...?" One of the doctors asked.

"I recognized the sound of your footsteps," was her answer.

"I see.... And how are you feeling today?"

Mori walked into her room, and spared a glance at the bird still watching her from the window. "I feel fine. Just like yesterday." She turned back towards the door and sat on the edge of her bed. "So can I finally leave this room?"

The doctors were understanding but they still were going to do a full check up first.

Even without the waves it was obvious that Mori was going to be marked as full health. Sinbad would prefer to go see her immediately and give her a tour of the Palace personally, but he was still a King with responsibilities. "Ja'far, Mori has just been declared healthy. What do you think of everyone having dinner together to get everyone better aquatinted?"

"I didn't hear anything about-” Ja'far started and then cut himself when he realized. "Were you just using Zepar to spy on her??"

"Of course not." Sinbad said with all of the confidence of the King he was. "I flew directly to her and she recognized me instantly. I wasn't spying at all."

"She recognized you??" Of course he'd be shocked.

King Sinbad laughed. "She did. Though she was surprised to see me."

"I bet she was surprised to suddenly see a bird in her room. What made you think to use Zepar instead of visiting her in person? You're already getting regular reports on her condition." Ja'far always acted as a buzz kill.

It didn't stop Sinbad from laughing at the situation before finally asking for that report he postponed earlier -conveniently avoiding answering Ja'far's question.

The magician in Mori's room was talking. "Would you be interested in visiting the Black Libra Tower with us? We can show you how the experiments are going. And if possible, would you be willing to answer some questions?"

That was an understandable request, but it could wear her out.

The Prophet was facing away from the windows so Sinbad couldn't see her expression. "I'd really like that actually." But he could hear the excitement growing in her voice.

"Let me get changed real quick." Mori disappeared behind her folding wall and emerged in the outfit he met her in.

Sinbad did not drop control of the bird, but he also didn't follow Mori out of her room. Instead he waited in the window sill until he saw her enter the courtyard and then had the bird fly to the Black Libra Tower.

---

As soon as he finished whatever last minute things Ja'far was about to add to his pile, Sinbad would go to the Black Libra Tower and surprise his Beautiful Prophet in person.

~POV Mori~

In the manga and in the anime the only areas shown of the Black Libra Tower were Yamuraiha's office/lab and one of the libraries. I was more than curious about the rest of the facilities.

The first room seemed to be a reception area and had a map of the tower. I only got to glance at the separations between the libraries, offices and class rooms before a tall and lanky magician walked up to us.

"Is this her??” Her short ponytail bounced as she looked between me and my guides.

Isa, the magician who had been taking care of me the past few days, introduced me. "This is Lady Mori, the Prophet!” He acted like he was showing off the coolest toy on the playground.

The tall woman got right up in my face. "I knew she had to be the Prophet! The Rukh don't normally move this way around people."

Before I got to respond she started rambling comments and questions that covered everything in maroon and peacock blue getting sponged across a cream canvas. I stepped back and Isa cut her off. "Lady Mori will be answering everyone's questions in time. We were just on our way to see Yamuraiha so I can show her how everything has been coming along. You are welcome to join us."

She definitely joined us. As did many others who spotted us or were called over by others in our procession.

We walked through a few library areas, and up a few flights of stairs. As we passed various rooms and areas I was told what or who would be inside, but I wouldn't remember any of the specifics until I had a chance to use the space and explore on my own. What did stick was that most of the classrooms were next to the libraries and the labs were near the offices.

Yamuraiha must have heard our group from down the hall because her head popped out from one of the rooms ahead of us. "What is going on out here??” Then she made eye contact with me. "It's you!!"

That made me smile. I fought back responding 'it's me!' like I would with my friends. "I'm Mori. I'm glad I'm finally getting the chance to meet you, Yamuraiha!” I stopped walking when I got 3 yards/meters away.

She immediately pulled her staff against her chest with both hands. Her shoulders tensed but she had an enthusiastic smile. "The pleasure is all mine!"

Yamuraiha was amazing, smart, and endearing. I really wanted to be friends with her.

I out stretched my hand to shake hers. "I'm really excited to work with you, and learn more about magic even though I'm not a magician."

"The feeling is mutual!” She took my hand more than matching my excitement. And when she released it said, "Since you're here, would you like to see what we've been working on from the scrolls you gave us?"

"Yes please!”

---

The lab she lead us to was a little down the hall. All of my scrolls were spread out on one table and a bunch of notes and different materials were on an other.

Yamuraiha pulled out parchment that had a complicated magic circle written on it. "We can't do much yet, and it still takes a catalyst and many magicians at once to control the amount of magoi safely but our alchemy magic has made a breakthrough from your writing."

She asked a few of the magicians that came with me to join her. They pointed their staffs and wands at the magic cycle. A large crystal in the room started glowing, and the Rukh lit up the space from within the circle. Specks were pulled out of the pile of ingredients nearby -dirt, scraps paper, a small potted plant- and gathered at the center of the circle. The light got too bright for me to look straight at it and when it faded there was a small dark grey cube in the middle of the circle. It looked like a die with no markings.

Yam explained. "After reading about 'atoms' and 'bonds' in your scrolls it was like finding the missing piece. It will still be a long time before we can perfect the process, and we still can't make anything bigger than this yet, but soon we will be able to make anything we want!"

((In the future I intend to: reference more old memes, describe more of my experience with synesthesia, and explain more basic history and science. SO you all have been warned lol))

I had to respond; I couldn't just continue staring in awe. When I tried to answer I ended up gasping since had forgotten to breathe. I chuckled at my own shock as well as the situation. I looked up at them. "You're all amazing to be able to develop this already from the little I wrote!" I looked back at the stone. "I knew I wrote the keys to Yunan's signature alchemy magic in those scrolls, but to think you've already gotten this far with it -its amazing."

With this -when developed farther- we could make certain materials without having to worry about the pollution, and break things down easily so we won't have to worry about garbage piling up everywhere.

"Did you say Yunan? The Magi, Yunan?" Yamuraiha looked at me with wide eyes.

"Yes." It was my turn to explain. "Yunan is able to use alchemy magic like this on a grand scale. In the Fates I read he will have reason to visit Sindria in about 2 years. He creates a cabin and food in the middle of the Palace court yard so he has somewhere comfortable to stay."

The bird in the window ruffled it's feathers.

"Yunan explains the basic concept of how that magic works when asked, and since I know the science of the physical world I know the details to what he was talking about." My smile widened. "I hope my notes were easy to understand. Please let me know if you have any questions."

#magi prophet fanfic #magi fanfiction #magi fanfic #sinbad magi #king sinbad #magi sinbad #sinbadxoc

[sweeteastart]

✨Day 7✨

for the @khoc-week 2021 !

Themes : 1. Home, 2. Genderswap, 3. What was your character creation like ?

Buckle up because this is going to be quite a long one this time around they were all pretty long posts until now but humour me x)

Mikana

1. For Mikana, spending time with Sakore, her sister and Nox, pretty much her adopted sibling, is the closest feeling to home. When she is with them, darkness, light and all her problems disappeared and she puts all her attention on them.

2. Genderbend Mikana is... Pretty much just Mikana lmao. He is has aloof and friendly. However, in this men form, you can much clearly see Lea's impact on her design ahaha. He name would maybe something like Miko ?

3. Mikana is the oldest kh character i created. She was created around the end of 2019, start of 2020. i got really invested in kh quick late compared to most,,, Really i first created her because i was, and still am, a big fan of Lea. You can see the inspiration i took from his design from her side hair and bang lmao.

Mikana, like all the character i draw, soon took a life of her own. The more i drew and imagined scenarios with her, the more her personality constructed itself without me realizing it (she is aloof, level-headed, family oriented). I truly build most of it throught an AU of mine named "Magical AU". Her clothing style which is really 70/80's s still on of the thing i like the most about her.

The khocweek2020 also helped a lot (pass time, family ties, short terms and long term goals,...) !

Sika

1. Eventually in the story, Sika just kinda absorb into the sea salt trio household. She lives with them like the others kids and is just like a sister for them all. However, even in this next found home found family go brrrr she has some difficulties waking up in the morning.

2. Sika as a boy would just be her sweet self as always. This design ended up turning out much softer and sweet than what I anticipated but I kinda love it. When I was thinking about names, I couldn't really think of much only Soka came to mind at first and that's just a ATLA character lmao so I just kept Sika. I think it's neutral enough to fit a male or female character :D

3. Sika is a special case to say the least. At first, she was one of my fiction character. I never published it anywhere but it was 45 pages long of slice of life of her living in Twilight Town and being Lea and Isa friend,,, Again, herpersonnality build herself up without me thinking much about it (she is bubbly, kind, responsible, ressourceful). But what's truly different about it was that i had her personnality BEFORE i created her appearance. It's really rare for me to do that.

HOWEVER i wasn't satisfied. My writing was too confused... So i scraped all 45 pages of writing i did. i had a hard time doing so because it represented DAYS of work for nothing. I started everything from the beginning. It was then that i truly integrated Orion and Erid properly into the story and created Master Ivi. Some keypoint are still the same but i changed the story quite a lot.

Bunny and Anis

1. Truly, Anis and Bunny always felt at home whenever they were with each other. This feeling extended to their significant other and close friends as they grew older. Whatever the house, what make them feel home is having the people taht matter to them by their side.

2. Bunny and Anis were REALLY a headache to do. Since they are identical twins I feared their genderbend would just look like any another. However, I quickly realized I could use their controsting personalities to my advantage. Bunny genderbend looks like a quiet and successful uncle while Anis genderbend looks like this fun but a bit unhinged aunt you love.

Their names would be Anise for Anis and Hare for Bunny,,,

3. At the beginning, Bunny was simply my Khux player character. I didn't do much art or think much about her or her story. Funnily enough, this is last year khocweek that truly made me flesh her out ! Without it, Bunny would most likely stayed a surface level character. Her name was also mostly a joke but ended up really like it.

When it comes to personality, she mostly have the player personality from KHux and follow the same story. Well except for the final sacrifice (Anis took on this part x)).

Anis was created not too long after last year khocweek. I was simply playing around with the male dressing interface, creating a sort of genderbend of Bunny and... Got attached to the character lmao. With his name, i stayed in the food related realm really i tend to mostly name my character after food... .

His peronnality was mostly created based on the dynamic energic and calm character have. Since Bunny is a very calm and silent person, having a twin brother loud and energetic could make out for funny and ridiculous situation. I really like the dynamic.

Pêche

1. I have yet to decide a definite end to Pêche's story. Their story is yet to find the comfort in hurt/comfort in the current state of her fanfic x) However I can vaguely imagine that someday, they would be have healed enough to trust the guardians of light.

2. Genderbend Pêche was really hard for me. Like some might have guessed Pêche's goes with neutral pronouns and have a generally androgyne appearance : the biggest reason is that I get the impression Pêche doesn't identify as anything. They are there suffering but hey they will have help and slowly heal from all the bad things they experienced. So I just altered their body shape a bit and cut their hair ?

3. Pêche wasn't a really serious character at first. For one, she was a fiction character and more importantly a sort of punching ball character. When i felt bad, i wrote her and felt better. But soon enough my brain started to really like her and from there, i couldn't help but fleshed her out. She needed a coherent story. Well coherent doesn't mean simple for me x) her story is a beautiful mess to understand.

Also i wanted to think about some kind of writing prompt i had : What if Xehanort had a student ? Eraqus as some but Xehanort never explicetly said he never had any so my brain went brrrrr ; What or when did Xehanort truly descended into darkness ? The old men is so intense in the game but Eraqus still think of him as good until he dies ??? It means Xehanort was at least okay for a bunch of time then, right ???? ; What if Xehanort succeded in completing a heart ? lmao this one made available so much angst i couldn't pass it,,,

So this is the end of my khocweek. Even with all my preparation I still had to rush the last few drawnings ahah. Anyways I had such a sweets and good week! I rarely have the occasion of talking about my ocs to strangers and have actual reactions. Interactions I get from the khocweek make my heart warms up 🥺 I thanks all the khocweek team and all the other talented participants from the bottom of my hearts 💜💜 I hope to be there next year and see some familiar ocs again 👀

#its weird to about the fact its the end #like it was very fast yet a very slow weak #even with 1 month of preaparation i still wasnt prepared enough 😭😭 #i hope my characters were fun to see and read about 😳 #kh #kingdom hearts #kh oc #kingdom hearts original character #oc #original art #original character #ocs #dessin #dessins #drawing #drawings #dibujo #dibujantes #digital art #digital illustration #digital fanart #art #illustration #sweeteastart

[solivagusdraco]

From the Depths of a Lab: Boundaries Between Nonhumanity and Creativity through the Journey of a Potential Silvally 'kin

I'm a dragon.

That's a fact I've known for over a decade at this point. It was pure chance that I ever even learned of otherkin - somewhere along the line, one of my best friends mentioned being a therian, and so I asked what that was. If I ever had any doubts about my draconity just being something developed because I heard this new fascinating thing… the fact that I still feel my wings and get sense memories when I search for them, even after this long, would eliminate those… we'll call them worries. Perhaps a poor choice of words, but it's what fits in my experience - I'm firmly in the spiritual otherkin camp.

And perhaps that, and my continued journey to understand psychological 'kin, is part of the "problem" that spurred this essay.

Again, perhaps a poor choice in words.

This isn't some discussion about facets of the community, or debate on origins. My experiences aren't another's, just as theirs aren't mine. This is an essay on personal exploration, and the adventure of trying to confirm or deny a kintype whilst sifting through muddy water, years after I've last done any serious introspection on such topics. But if you're still interested in the personal ramblings of this dragon, then I welcome you and will pull up a nice rock for you to sit on. All I ask is patience, for words are hard for me. Talking about myself is even harder.

I awakened as a Dragon in 2010. I found a hearttype in Painted Dogs in 2014. Both of which were… simple.

I found my dragon in meditation and introspection, finding memories of both sense and the more traditional kind. The senses persisted, and still persist. Perhaps one day I'll wake and realize I'm not a dragon, but that doesn't change what I am now, nor how I feel. I am a dragon, and I found that through soul searching.

I found a home in painted dogs during a chance trip to the zoo. They had just recently finished a new exhibit for those fancy canines, and for some reason I just felt so excited to go see these creatures I'd never heard of before that moment. And then I saw them and while I didn't feel like looking in the mirror… It felt like looking through a photo album. I'm not them, yet still they're so familiar.

But this isn't an essay about dragons or canines. Or perhaps it's an essay about them both, just in a different, chimeric form.

Pokémon has always been a part of my life. As of writing this, I'm 27 and the franchise is 25 - the only part of my life without Pokémon are years I don't even remember. I learned the TCG, my first video games ever were Gold and Silver, I had plush and played pretend with my friends. I had favorites… but I never made a character. Not a trainer, not a Pokémon. Rather, it was literal decades before I made a proper Pokémon OC.

Sev the Silvally was made out of a desire to try and run a Pokémon ask blog as a means to improve my art skills through regular practice. I don't even remember the thought process that made me choose a Silvally over any of the other hundreds of Pokémon - I just knew that I'd started drawing and suddenly I had a crime against Arceus with a broken RKS Drive. Granted, Type: Null and Silvally had been my favorite Pokémon of that generation, and my inspiration for the blog was a Type: Null blog.

Later on, Sev would become something of a comfort and coping character for me.

I had been abused by someone I considered one of my best friends in high school, and while I had since recognized it as abuse by the time of Sev's creation… It still bothered me. So I decided to have Sev's escape from the Aether Paradise be that he was stolen by an abusive trainer, and his evolution happened when that trainer turned her abusive hand to a Rockruff pup - an evolution not through love for his trainer, but rather through a desire to protect. Sev escaped his abuse and got the chance to learn how to live without the shadow of his trainer looming over him, just like I hoped to do. Escape that shadow. Let Sev be my guide through the nightmares and hate scrolling that still persisted.

He stopped being just a character.

But what does this all have to do with otherkin?

As I mentioned, Pokémon has been a part of my life for effectively my whole life. Yet despite that… There's never been a Pokémon that gripped me with the intensity that Silvally has. I've hungrily looked for merch, official and unofficial. I'm in the midst of making a fursuit, complete with electronics. One of my Tumblr usernames is multi-attack, and oftentimes now when making an account on a website, the first thing I check is if 'Silvally' is taken as a username. The design I painted on my mailbox is of my dragon and Sev, in a sort of "coat of arms" reminiscent style. This chimeric Pokémon latched on to some part of my mind and refused to let go.

And yet it wasn't until this past year that I even considered that Silvally could be something other than a "mere" favorite character.

Perhaps it's a hearttype. Perhaps it's a kintype. Perhaps it is just a mere favorite character. Introspection is the answer, regardless. My way to find just what Silvally is to me. But then there comes another question. Another problem.

With my dragon, the hunt for memories was clear cut. I had no existing thoughts to sway the hunt, and what memories I eventually found… They had little comparisons to various dragon media I'd consumed. But I start this investigation with Silvally at a disadvantage - I've made a character with crafted backstory, and consumed what little canon information exists on the species. There's no blank slate for me to start from - whatever search I do will always be colored by Sev and his tale.

So then I have to ask myself:

Is Sev his own character, or is he me?

I've never had a character that I was able to just write. Perhaps it's akin to soulbonding, but what I've read on that experience just doesn't quite taste right for the circumstance. I'll create a path for my characters, a baseline for their personality to grow on… but all too frequently, they end up bucking those guidelines and becoming their own person, as it were. They don't keep me company in my mind, but they still make their own minds clear should I try to direct their story or actions in ways they don't agree with.

Where does one find the boundary between self and other, when those "others" make their own decisions yet aren't their own entities?

To say nothing of my tendency to dole out my flaws and traits to each of my characters. Each little facet of myself being the seed from which a character will grow. Sometimes as the simple fact that the familiar makes creation easier. Sometimes as a means to work through a problem. But regardless of reason, it doesn't change the fact that almost every character I've ever made has had some piece of me in their core.

But… When every character you make is a facet of yourself, the moment you consider that they might be more than just a character gets muddy. Is it a hearttype, born from a facet of yourself that your subconscious decided you needed to care for more? Or is that facet just a part of you that recognized what you were, long before your consciousness connected the dots? And if kintype it is, then how do you determine what memories are real? Were the plot points and character biology you designed mere fabrication of the mind? Or were they flashes of another life, fleshed out, recorded, and/or adapted in the name of writing?

As if the discovery and determination of memories wasn't already complicated enough.

Sev's name was the only decision I consciously made whilst creating him - shortened from 'severance', as his creation was for the partial purpose of finally separating myself from old memories. Everything else just… happened. There was no rhyme or reason or choice to anything. Not his color, not the reason he and the other Silvally of his world were created. Every plot point, every musing on his biology was a simple moment of "Oh, so that's how it happened".

In what way is that different from how I found my dragon, with her quiet nights of meditation and introspection until the memories and feelings fell into place?

Now don't misunderstand - this isn't me saying that discovering a kintype is nothing more than making a character. That couldn't be farther from what I'm saying! Rather, I'm musing on the question of where the boundary is between the creative process and the discovery process. If Sev (or just Silvally in general) isn't a kintype, then it's still fascinating to me that his creation was so similar to me discovering my dragon. And if he is a kintype? Then is that particular creative process something to be mindful of when contemplating "original character" kintypes?

Perhaps this question would be easier to find an "answer" to if I knew what Silvally was to me… but I don't! That's almost the point of this essay - a vague attempt to knock some solid feeling thought loose from my mind.

It just happened to lead to a fascinating line of thought.

#otherkin #otherkind #alterhuman #heraldic speaks

[theros]

12, 23, 37, 49 for OC questions!

wasn't actually expecting to get asked anything holy crap!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@acheyri's FFXIV character Svee! I have never been so obsessed with an OC that wasn't my own, but I genuinely love Svee so so much, both her design and her story. She's complicated and messy and real, and Ripley's art and discussions about her are absolutely fantastic.

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Ough, that would be Sira, my very first OC. I don't have any pictures of her first design (when I was 8-10) because I never took photos of it and have long since lost the journal she was doodled in, but she was a completely human girl with brown hair and ordinary human blue eyes. She was one of three protagonists of a very very YA "series" I was writing about three human girls who became nonhuman through shenanigans and had perfect nonhuman boyfriends and saved the world lmao. Then when I first joined the furry community, I reworked her into a cat/dragon (and supposedly wolverine but I was 12 and this was literally never shown in her design) hybrid:

(old art by @felisrandomis - like, 11 years ago old lol)

over the years i reworked her again and sort of merged her with another character of mine, a werecat assassin, and bounced her through several design changes. I made her dark gray with light gray rosettes, dark gray with blue rosettes, then finally settled on and stayed with silvery gray with darker gray rosettes.

(art by Chandraken - also 11 years old; i went through changes for Sira rapidfire for a while there lol)

(crop of the last ref i did for her a few years ago. she does have a fully human form but I used to draw her as an anthro or neko 90% of the time so)

Her story is also waaaaay different than the original iteration. Rather than a 13 year old girl who magically saves the world with no pain or consequences and also gains cool powers and a hot boyfriend, she's now a bitchy, traumatized adult assassin/ex child soldier locked into a life contract with an employer she wants to kill. She also murdered her husband (he kinda deserved it). Her storyline... really does not have a happy ending any more.

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

How human do they have to be/appear to fit the "not quite"? By my definition Sira would qualify, as would my answers to number 49, and also this dude!

Greirat, local satyr boy. One of two different satyr OCs I have and definitely the more wild one despite having such a sweet face. He's lowkey a shapeshifter and his true form is a cat-satyr creature created by @.Felisrandomis, so this is about as human as his appearance can get:

His ref sheet is like. The only art I've ever drawn of him and I really oughtta fix that sometime. Maybe tweak his design a little, now that I think about it.

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

My MTG oc Mestas, hands down. Lovac, one of my FFXIV ocs, would be a very close second, and it's probably a good thing those two exist in totally separate universes, because they'd likely drive their friends batshit constantly memeing back and forth with each other.

If social media was a thing on Ravnica, Mes would totally be a tumblr blogger. She'd constantly post memes about her friends, the guilds, and any prominent characters from canon. She'd @ Jace Beleren in every single one. He has no idea who she is or how she got his contact information. He's blocked her 16 times and she still manages to do it. She doesn't even have multiple accounts.

No pics for these two cause I'm redoing Mestas' ref and I changed Lovac's skin tone, and my only saved screenshots of him are from before that. He's not my main file so I rarely play him OTL.

#Mestas also has gray skin which I realize shows i have a Pattern #considering Sira Greirat and Kolasi (FFXIV) are also gray

[thepowerfulfour]

My TFP OC named Nightwave, or Night for short.

This OC of mine is very old compared to the other I posted here. I first made this character as my interpretation of Steve the Vehicron, and wasn't very original, but I'd say, not bad for a 14 year old. In the original Frozen and TFA crossover, Steve got his powers from Elsa. Now his name is just Nightwave or Night for short, and I gave him a much more original story so that he'd be my own character.

He and his brother, Cybereye, or Cybe for short, were born as twins to a seeker and grounder couple. Growing up as biracial, he felt like he never fit in with either race, and due to the racism between the grounders and seekers, his whole family experienced harassment, but he was overall a happy child.

Night's city of Vos was destroyed in a battle between Decepticons and Autobots which escalated the war on a global scale. His parents died from a stray missle that demolished their house. His brother and him survived but had to run out of the burning city to escape.

Vorns later, his brother and him would survive alone by stealing rations from military camps and one day tried to steal from the Iacon Hall of Records, after seeing a significant amount of energon being taken inside. They were caught by Alpha Trion, who took them in instead of sending them away.

Alpha Trion raised the teenagers for several vorns and seemed to favor Night. What Alpha Trion didn't tell Night is what he knows his future holds and what Night really is, Night is the carrier of the Allspark. One day, Alpha Trion convinces the twins to join the Decepticon ranks and to never mention Alpha Trion to anyone. While the twins were confused, Alpha Trion knew that if he didn't, Night will never get to Earth to continue his destiny.

Night became a soldier while Cybe became head of Cyber Operations with high rank due to his talent with computers. After a coupling with another soldier, Night had a son, who he raised in secret with the help of his twin brother. His son was murdered and after that, Night became deeply resentful of Alpha Trion for convincing him to join the Decepticons because of the loss of his son.

When the Nemesis arrived on Earth, Night nearly got killed after a relic him and his unit were supoosed to retrieve exploded and killed the rest of his unit. He survived and woke up days later with everything frozen around him. Megatron quickly realized Night now has special abilities and, wanting to replicate that for himself, had Night essentially tortured as Shockwave tries to figure out what is causing an ordinary vehicron to have abilities, all while never realizing Night has the Allspark.

Night was rescued by Smokescreen after he got back the phase shifter and the Omega Keys. Night, too weak to display his new abilities, was brought back to health by Ratchet and wasn't an easy patient.

Night slowly learned to control his abilities and very slowly learned to trust the Autobots. He doesn't know he has the Allspark until Alpha Trion reveals it via a vision to Optimus.

This story is subject to change and I glazed over a few details to keep this from being longer. Now, for a little about the picture!

I learned that freezing fire exists, so I decided to include that in his abilities, thus the blue fire. Instead of the Decepticon insignia I opted to put the Allspark symbol I made up using a writing system PGweinbenn from DeviantArt made. I also used my favorite gold paint, which is metallic and very nice.

#oc story #oc artwork #my ocs #ocs #oc #transformers #transformers prime #allspark

[tuesdayx]

So I thought it would be fun to do a song-by-song breakdown of our latest album Essential.

Essential started as some rough demos designated for a side project in late 2019, which then became our largest album to date in terms of song selection. Many of the themes deal with learning to cope with the changing world thanks to Covid, with a perspective of someone who had to keep working at an "essential" job with no option of self-quarantine. I was happy to continue working and being able to pay my bills over the past year, but there was always elements of stress, fear, and tension lingering over myself and everyone else in my position.

So here we go; starting from the top let's look at the Songs of Tuesday X's 6th album Essential.

1. Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams: the title was a reference to the 9/11 conspiracy memes, which as stated in the opening lines, "has nothing to do with this song." Written in January of 2020 before Covid had made any significant impact in the US, the song touches on many themes which happened to occur throughout the year, such as [another] Californian forest fire (Australia too), new diseases (Covid), a riot (the BLM movement over the summer, which I will state everything that movement has been fighting for is 100% justified and the United States is in desperate need of Police reform, as does our political system which has remained inherently racist to this day.), Civil War (and exaggeration for sure, but the civil unrest and political division in our country will soon split us apart further), more corporate giants(companies like Amazon profited more from this Pandemic than ever before and have helped further the gap between the American working class and the top 1%). Favorite line: "I won't get philosophical, I only wanted your attention."

2. The Only Difference Between You and Me is a Sense of Apathy and Your Brand New Nikes: This song is a blithing criticism of the American political system. Our two party system has left Americans with a choice between "the lesser of two evils" and allows politicians with no true interest in our needs to rise to power. The use of 3rd parties as an alternative is a overly simple compromise that would only just begin to alleviate the problems created in our political system. Both of our main parties are considered conservative parties to the rest of the world, and any progressive measures that would benefit society and reduce the effects of climate change are considered radical and preposterous by politicians with financial stakes in our crooked system where corporatations hold control and the people are treated as fuel for an otherwise worthless currency. Favorite line: "Listen to the radio, they played my favorite song. Now I'm bored and wanting more."

3. Blame it on the Elves: the title is a reference to an episode of the Podcast "Lore" by Aaron Menke (i can't recall which episode, but you should check it out anyway because it's great listen.) An instrumental interlude inspired by ragtime music of the 1920-30's, with an edge of course.

4. Class of Dropouts: This song was written when I was 16 during my sophomore year of high school and was originally featured on my now unavailable album "trees" before adopting the Tuesday X monicker. I brought it back 6 years later because I loved how raw and punk it was. The lyrics are dorky but I decided to leave them as is, it's a cool track for high school stoners to blare and let out their teen angst. Favorite line: "Walking in on my friends fucking."

5. Polaroids on My Bulletin Board: This is a song about growing up. As a 22 year old (now 23) who decided not to go to college straight out of high school, I felt isolated from my peers in a way. By going into the workfield right away I sometimes feel like I skipped a few years and missed out on a lot of opportunities. I regret not leaving my hometown sooner than I did and chasing my dreams of being a touring musician in a band. More often than not I reminisce of my youth playing shows and getting into trouble, as I now feel old and out of place in a scene I grew up in. Favorite line: "I know what it's like to be alive, I know what it's like to live a lie."

6. Labradoodle Underpass: Going back on the theme of growing up, this is about my recent experience with shows as an adult. When I was a teenager I felt ambitious and ready for anything, and I would drop literally everything to go to the nearest show. As an adult I feel introverted and constantly anxious about the world around me. I've missed out on a lot of great shows due to my own self doubt's and anxiety. Now that shows have been canceled for over a year I feel even more regret by not appreciating them more while I could. Favorite line: "23 years and a lingering fear that anything could happen, why am I here?"

7. Some Shit: This was me trying to be modest mouse lol jangly guitars and half talking/half singing vocals describing the world around me. I guess in a way it was an exercise in writing character description and setting, but otherwise it's just a chill track that almost feels aimless at parts. Favorite Line: "it's just some shit I learned from a friend. Just some shit I learned when I was trying to prepare."

8: Woe is the World: On the album this is a chorus snippet that barely a minute long (the full version is available as a bonus track on bandcamp, and it was actually a demo that turned out better than the final version.) I originally wrote this song when I was 15 with a different set of lyrics, but I came back to it while writing this album and re-wrote it to reflect my mental state and the world around me. Overall, just another melancholy track in a sea of melancholy songs. Favorite line: "you've never felt more alone than you do now, was everything worth it in the end?"

9. Then Why Was it Named Gideon?: the title is a reference to a line in Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (my favorite series) and like the first track on this album doesn't have much to do with the song. "Gideon" is a simple love song, talking again about how growing up sucks but having the right person by your side can make all the shitty times worth it in the end. Favorite line: "it's time to move on, you're taking too long."

10. I am Here, I'm Looking at Her, and She is Beautiful: This song is entirely about the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". That's it. Nothing else, let's move on. Favorite line: "Over Christmas I read them a poem about a brown paper bag and the boy who wrote it."

11. Try to Be a Filter, Not a Sponge: Like the previous song, this one is also mostly about "Perks of Being a Wallflower", but with elements of my own experience with toxic relationships. I like to think of it as the character Charlie's experience with Mary Elizabeth overall though. Favorite line: "She called my favorite book washed out trash, said I have no taste and I'm still too sad."

12. Lavender Spray Bottle: This instrumental dates back to 2017. I recorded the guitar part as a demo on my phone and forgot about it. Over time I forgot how to play the guitar part, so I used the demo as a basis and layered everything else on top of it. The title is a reference to a bottle of water with lavender essential oils mixed in that my ex used to fend away spiders in the house we lived in at the time.

13. Hindsight is 2020: I will admit, this is my favorite song on the whole album and was actually the last to be written and recorded. With a simple guitar part and layers of vocals, this song is a direct reflection of life during the peak of the pandemic. With curfews in place and rising case counts, I had to learn to cope with life at home during my late nights away from work. My partner was quarantined during this time and I reflected on the mental strain this put on her. Favorite line: "Don't go to work, you need the money but you're not happy when you're there. Sometimes life is so unfair."

14. I Don't Know How to Deal With Serious Emotions Without Turning Them into a Fucking Joke: the title came from a meme I found on my phone from high school. The song itself was about my own inability to handle serious emotions without coming off as sarcastic. In both the music and lyrics, the song starts as a simple confession before exploding into raw chaos. Favorite line: "it's so hard. I'm so scared, what have I become?"

15. Say Hello to My Little Friend: the last instrumental on this album. A short haunting tune that reflects the final two tracks. The title is probably a reference to Rambo or something, but I never watched it and I thought it fit the feeling of this song.

16. Minneapolis: What became one of the most emotional tracks on this song actually began as a joke. My partner was snap chatting a friend one night and they asked me to write them a song on the spot. So I improvised the first two verses and chorus of this song, referencing her going to school there at the time. I found I actually liked what I had written however, so I refined the track and changed it from a sassy country song into a melancholic lament of my experience in the twin cities and southern Minnesota. Favorite line: "I miss Camp Snoopy, and Paul Bunyon's log flume ride that went around the whole damn mall."

17. Before the Sunrise: the final song on the album is an intimate look at my relationship with my partner. Through past experiences i have become riddled with self doubt and always looking at improving myself as a person. With hopes that one day I'll be the person I'd like to be for mine and their sake, it's an optimistic tribute to my best friend. Favorite line: "the cycle ends until the sun rises again, you're my best friend."

Thank you all so much! Check out Essential and our other music on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, and other places! I hope you all enjoyed this personal look at these songs that got me through the worst parts of 2020.

#tuesday x #emo #music #alternative #art rock #diy music #diy #midwest #underground #lyrics #essential #covid19

[erin-epica]

Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.

#unikitty #unikitty! #master frown #brock #lord Scarlet #brook #vic #vicslayer #scream queen savage #Victoria #update #amino

[waritawrites]

A Wrinkle in Reality: Oprah and the Sophia Phenomenon

Sophia: The Archetype of False Wisdom

In their efforts to counterfeit and undermine the teaching of the true Gospel, the Gnostics changed many biblical doctrines to fit their pagan beliefs. One such attempt was their depiction God the Holy Ghost as a woman named Sophia. She is who they think is the spirit of wisdom. In the Bible, wisdom is female, however it is not the God the Holy Ghost. God the Holy Ghost is the Comforter and the spirit of Truth. HE is A MAN. Of the Holy Ghost,the Bible states:

1 John 5:7 - For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.

John 14:26 - But the Comforter, [which is] the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

Acts 2:38 - Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Titus 3:5 - Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Acts 1:8 - But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

Romans 8:26-27 - Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

John 16:13 - Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, [that] shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

Ephesians 4:30 - And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

John 8:32 - And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

John 3:5 - Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and [of] the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 - Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and [that] the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

Romans 15:13 - Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

Luke 1:35 - And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.

Sophia is a construct of man's rebellion as a result of his refusal to submit to a being greater than himself. She is a god of man's creation that allows him to do what seems right to Him rather than do that which is right. In reference to such gods, the Bible states:

1 John 4:1 - Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world

Acts 4:12 - Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

Exodus 23:13 - And in all [things] that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth.

Psalms 115:4-8

4Their idols are silver and gold, the work of men's hands.

5They have mouths, but they speak not: eyes have they, but they see not:

6They have ears, but they hear not: noses have they, but they smell not:

7They have hands, but they handle not: feet have they, but they walk not: neither speak they through their throat.

8They that make them are like unto them; so is every one that trusteth in them."

Oprah: The Perpetual Personification of Sophia

Throughout her career, Oprah has represented some form of Sophia in one way or another. Her characters have even made references to GOD to cloak their true nature and purpose, which is to lead people to lean unto their own understanding rather than actually trust GOD to guide them. In the movie The Color Purple (1984) her character was named Ms. Sophie. Most of her characters such as Ms. Sophie lead lives of despair which would lead one to think that GOD isn't there, and therefore must do that which seems right to them rather be patient and wait on THE LORD. Unlike Joel Osteen, Creflo Dollar, Leroy Thompson, and others, GOD THE FATHER doesn't not promise a life of riches and utmost comfort, in fact Paul states:

Philippians 4:11-15

11Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

12I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

13I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

14Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction.

15Now ye Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but ye only.

Also, in 2 Corinthians 11, Paul stated:

2 Corinthians 11

21I speak as concerning reproach, as though we had been weak. Howbeit whereinsoever any is bold, (I speak foolishly,) I am bold also.

22Are they Hebrews? so am I. Are they Israelites? so am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? so am I.

23Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.

24Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.

25Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;

26In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;

27In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.

28Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.

29Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not?

30If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.

31The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which is blessed for evermore, knoweth that I lie not.

32In Damascus the governor under Aretas the king kept the city of the Damascenes with a garrison, desirous to apprehend me:

33And through a window in a basket was I let down by the wall, and escaped his hands.

The seemingly good attributes of the character always outweighs the sins that they commit that lead to their own misfortunes.

Her talk show was the epitome of the dispensary of Sophian false wisdom as she promoted pop-psychology and pseudo-science question (and convincing others to question) the deity of Jesus Christ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMckuY7SnXY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vd9DDH2A5o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XXUfTNCkzc

Her network continues on the same path. Rather than be bold enough to lead people to the ultimate truth, the only truth, which is GOD and GOD's word, she convinces them that there are many ways to love life and many paths to GOD. While there may be many ways to live life, there is only one correct way to live life - Obeying GOD and having faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus says:

John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

However, she doesn't mind acknowledging and discussing GOD when there are millions to be made by portraying characters who do so.

Jesus is God and is also referred to as the Word, 1 John 5:7 states:

1 John 5:7 - For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.

In her latest movie, A Wrinkle in Time, she, as the Sophia character, is once again planting seeds of doubt in the viewing audience's mind about the existence of GOD as well as the nature of good and evil with lines such as, "Darkness travels faster than light." The veiled references to GOD THE FATHER depict him as the main villain called The Black Thing, which is a dark cloud. In the Old Testament, GOD has taken on the form of a cloudy pillar, Exodus 33:8-11:

Exodus 33:8-11

8And it came to pass, when Moses went out unto the tabernacle, that all the people rose up, and stood every man at his tent door, and looked after Moses, until he was gone into the tabernacle.

9And it came to pass, as Moses entered into the tabernacle, the cloudy pillar descended, and stood at the door of the tabernacle, and the LORD talked with Moses.

10And all the people saw the cloudy pillar stand at the tabernacle door: and all the people rose up and worshipped, every man in his tent door.

11And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle."

The movie is very gnostic, luciferian, and even alchemical. It is a representation witchcraft in one of its truer forms.

Conclusion

Beware of what you watch, beware of whom you befriend, beware of those from whom you seek advice and guidance. Oprah has made a career of promoting a message that is deceptively contradictory to GOD's Word. Paul states:

2 Corinthians 11:13 - 15

13For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.

14And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

15Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

#oprah winfrey #Oprah #GOD #Christianity #gnostism #satanism #new age #witchcraft #occult

[thechillicount]

Bungou Stray Dogs Questionnaire

Rules: Complete all the questions you want, expand and explain your answers as much as you want, and have fun!

If you can, tag some people you want to join in on the fun!

So I tag anyone that sees this and wants to do it to have fun! Everyone is welcomed!

Thank youuuu @usagiomega

What ability would you have in the BSD universe?

(That one's hard~!)

Melodic Speed: The more I listen to music the faster and agile I get. Pretty simple, I like simple. It could get to the point that others are unable to see me because I'm that fast. (I combined two things I do most often, listening to music and being slow. Totally not inspired by Hamatora.)

If you could claim someone's ability in BSD, whose ability would you want?

(Don't say Chuuya's, don't say Chuuya's)

I'm really tempted by Edgar's ability. To trap people in books until they solve the mystery inside? I'd say dope! That would also make me write more as I have a few people I'd like to trap, just for fun~

What group/organization would you join?

Port Mafia for sure as I'm a villain at heart but still want to have a reliable and strong family around me. Also because I can wear a lot of black. But Mori can stay locked in his room.

Which BSD character do you identify with the most?

Honestly Ranpo. I do the exact same things that he does, laze around and eat baked goods. But that's only on the outside.

On the inside I identify with Chuuya a lot. Him hating betrayals is something that hits too close to home. Him wanting to protect Port Mafia that took him in after his previous group pushed him away. Him being loyal as heck not even knowing if he'll be able to stay forever or not. Like I said, hits too close to home.

Who are your top five favourite BSD characters?

(Surprise surprise)

Dazai: The very first time he appeared I took him for an asshole, which he kinda is. But then I quickly grew to like him as I was getting interested in his character on a deeper level. I like his two faced personality, he acts derpy and cute only to turn into a mischievous sadist that he truly is. The Dark Era also made me gain respect and much more love for him.

Chuuya: He introduced me to BSD when I first saw him in this MEP (bless and R.I.P MDS). So in 2016! I even remember watching BSD during Christmas Eve dinner under the table! Not gonna lie, his looks hooked me in. When I finally got him after so many episodes I was interested even more. He has some history with my boy Dazai? Show me, tell me! Until recently I've been thirsty for some more Chuuya and got it in the new season, I'm still gonna read the actual light novel though. But nonetheless, I'm satisfied. I actually hope BONES doesn't make him an another main character because I like him as he is. I like redhead hotheads like Chuuya or Taiga Kagami. Also, I was already a huge fan of GRANRODEO in 2016 so hearing Kishow was a blessing. All thanks to Kuroko no Basket. ♡

Oda: His precious heart made me love him! He just wanted to write, to take care of the kids. Each time I remember my heart cries a river. And each time something new comes to the BSD universe with him in it I love it but also can't take it.

MANGA SPOILERS

Tecchou: First of all, I really like the concept of Hunting Dogs. Second of all, this boy is precious. Justice fighter who respects people that want to protect others. The whole scene with the cafe owner moved my freaking heart, I kid you not. Unlike other members of the Hunting Dogs he doesn't want to bring down ADA just because they're supposed criminals but because it's his job to keep the country and it's people safe. And so he's doing it, no matter what he must do. I'm pretty sure that if he would find out the truth he'll try to stop his teammates and explain who's the real villain here. I hope it happens! His habits are also hilarious.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Michizou: I don't know if I can count him as a "favorite" yet but I really liked what Asagiri-sensei and Harukawa-sensei did with him. The reveal is one of my favorite manga scenes ever! I'm looking forward to seeing more of him as I was dying to since I started watching BSD. I won't forgive him for hurting Gin though, that's one huge minus.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Are there any authors that you'd want to bring into the BSD universe that hasn't arrived yet? Or do you have OCs?

Oh boy, here we go!

I do have one author that I think would fit very well. He's a polish poet from a romanticism era (my fave) that wrote poems, epics, ballads. His name is Adam Mickiewicz ladies and gents. Why do I think he would fit? Well, he was born in Poland that didn't actually exist and people were fighting for its freedom. So fight was already in his blood which he later on proved by becoming a commander in a battle. He was in a lot of conspiracy groups. And because of that I feel like fitting in BSD is just a matter of what kind of organization is he going to be in. He even had contact and made friends with Russian Decemberists, made enemies with Pushkin (who already is in BSD). If Adam would be in BSD I believe he'd have contact with the Rats before they fled to Japan. And because of his conspiracy origins I say he spied on the Rats from within. As for his ability I believe it would be some fighting type one as real life Adam took part in battles. I wanted to give him an ability that has something to do with his play "Dziady" but I haven't really decided yet.

Favourite Scene(s)?

Anime

Dazai floating in river; Dazai nullifying Atsushi's ability; Chuuya's reveal; Atsushi and Akutagawa fighting Fitzgerald; Atsushi hugging Kyouka; Any scene with Oda; Any scene with 15 year old Chuuya and Osamu except for the hand holding one; Fyodor killing Karma, (I'm so sorry)

Manga

Chuuya shooting bullets using gravity; Tachihara's reveal; Yosano's backstory; Mori and Fukuzawa's fight; Fukuzawa and Fukuchi scene; Any Tecchou scene; Hunting Dogs being chaotic; Chuuya getting tired and punching everyone; Dazai getting shot; Edgar getting scared by his ringtone; Dazai and Fyodor in a chess duel; Any Sigma scene.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Favourite Quotes from the Authors/Characters?

(Thank Gods there's bsd-bibliophile~ Great help!)

Mine has been a life of much shame.

- Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human

To love someone is to put your life on the line. I don't take it lightly.

- Dazai Osamu, "Female" from Self Portraits

Bad people are to be found everywhere, but even among the worst there may be something good.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The House of the Dead

It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool's paradise.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

A fool with a heart and no sense is just as unhappy as a fool with sense and no heart.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

(I'm currently reading Dostoyevsky in my literature class sooo)

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worth while.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

People laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas, you have to use big words to express them, haven't you?

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

(One of my favorite books ever)

That threw me for a loop...is that my ringtone?

- Edgar Allan Poe getting scared by his ringtone, Chapter 55

(I had to)

Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what's so wrong about that?

- Dazai Osamu, Chapter 46

(Can I wait till Friday for that? I'll try)

Who would you want to bring to life to be your best friend? Waifu/Husbando?

There are a lot but I'm gonna go classic and say Chuuya. I'd love to make fun of him for being shorter than me and watch him go berserk. Like I said, I'm a villain at heart. I love him tons though! Dazai is also a pick as he's already very similar to my best friend. I have weird friends.

How has Bungou Stray Dogs changed you as a person? Did you learn anything from it?

I learned that I strive to write as good as Asagiri-sensei because his writing is amazing in my opinion. BSD also introduced me to a ton of Japanese authors as it's the case with most of its watchers. And even though I don't have a lot of time to read their books now (school and grade chasing as I only have 3 weeks to improve them), I'm going to read EVERYTHING I CAN during summer vacations. Good luck to me~

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs manga #bungou stray dogs spoilers #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd tecchou #bsd tachihara #bungou stray dogs questionnaire

[angry-fishy8]

A story that'll never be published

I remember that night. We talked till the sun came up and you kissed me. Not like I was wanting or the kind you were hoping, but I think that's when we finally learned that there was something. I don't think I wanted to admit it, and neither did you,  so we kind of just forgot about that night. I mean why would we? I was plain and you were Mr. Fourteen. I gave up on closing myself because you told me to open up. God, looking at it, we were so stupid. But I'm not saying that being angry. I'm saying that with a huge smile on my face." +

I don't remember when I fell asleep but I woke up around three. Tyler still wasn't there so it made me worried. Are you really that mad at me? I just wanted to sleep but my brain wouldn't shut off. +

I grabbed one of Tyler's hoodies and grabbed a blanket. I didn't have an exact place where I wanted to go, but I didn't want to be in the hotel right now. I know I could've just went to talk to Brooklynn, but she'd just tell me off. +

When I had gone outside, the crisp fall air hit my legs before anywhere else. I guess shorts were a mistake. +

While I was walking I was replaying everything that happened today. Why would Tyler be so mad just because he pushed me away? I mean I guess in hind sight what I said after didn't really help. +

"I promised I wouldn't hurt you and that wasn't enough!" +

"It was!" I yelled. +

"Are you sure? Because everyone thinks that I'm the one trying." +

"What am I supposed to do, I told you I didn't want to ruin our friendship! Here we are! And here you are getting ready to leave." I grab his coat and threw it at him. "Do it, like everyone else." +

"Kate, this is just you worrying." he said calmingly. +

"GO! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" +

"Is that what you really want?" +

"You're gonna do it anyways! Might as well let me do it on my terms." I cried. "Because that's what you want right? To leave? It's obvious, you've wanted that for a while." I looked away while he stepped closer. "Leave." +

He stood there for a moment. +

"I really did love you." +

I could feel everything crumble. After a while of not responding, he left. And everything I had to offer did too. +

I sat down at the park where Mrs. K and us talked. I just sat staring at the stars waiting for something to happen. +

"Kate, sweetie, it's time for school." I heard my mom sit on the opposite side of my bed. "You've been here all weekend." +

I didn't pull the covers from my head but I'd been awake the entire night. +

"Bumblebee." I whispered. +

"Are you sure?" She put her hand on my leg rubbing it. "It's the last one for the semester." +

"Yes please." +

"I'll call the school and tell them you've been sick all weekend. You have your concert tonight though." She kissed my head. "Don't let this bring you down." +

Brooklynn: You left me alone all weekend and now? +

Kate: We broke up. +

She didn't reply. And I stayed awake just watching my wall. That was enough. +

There was a shooting star and that's what pulled me from my thoughts. I laughed. +

Story continues below

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By isabelleronin

150M 4.8M

Chasing Red will be published in September and Always Red in November 2017! Available in ebook and paperback on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks and Google Play. Links on my profile :) * When cynical straight-A college student Veronica Strafford gets kicked out of her apartment, notorious basketball player Caleb Lockhart offers her a place to stay. Intensely drawn to her, Caleb wants something for the first time in his life and pursues her. But Veronica's painful past is catching up to her, and her heart might just be the one thing Caleb can't win. * I'm the last thing she wants in her life. She keeps expecting me to disappoint her, to leave, but I'm here to stay. She owns me. It's as simple as that. She was fire and I wanted her to burn me. Like a moth to a flame, I could not resist. She was broken. A puzzle that was missing a few pieces. Maybe I'd carve my own pieces to complete her. They said she was going to be my ruin. ...then let her ruin me. WARNING: This story contains mature scenes and features another couple. Enter at your own risk. Chasing Red. Copyright © 2014. All Rights Reserved.

"You weren't even that special." I whispered. +

"There'll be a day you can say you're okay and mean it." I sang. Secret for the mad by Dodie was the one thing that helped me when I was down. +

"I promise you, it'll all make sense again." +

"That's the song you want to sing for Senior Night?" Mrs. K asked. +

"Why not?" I laughed. +

"It just doesn't seem like you, I mean it fits your vocal tone beautifully, and the vibrato in your voice is lovely with it." +

"But?" +

"Sweetie." She patted my arm, "We can talk if you want." +

"I know." I fake smiled. "I think when I'm fully ready, you'll be the first person I'll talk to you. I promise." +

"Alright then, I'll remember that." she smiled. "How's college searching?" +

"I found a great culinary arts school." +

"Culinary Arts? Like your father?" +

"Through everything he put me through, our best memories are cooking." I played with my ring finger. "It's all I know." +

"And music sweetie." +

"Yeah, but I'll never be good enough for that," +

"I thought the same thing once. And here I am" +

I smiled. That was the best memory between us. I mean there are a million great memories, but the one on one moments are the best. +

"Kate?" I heard Tyler say. +

I covered up in the blanket more as he sat by me. +

"What are you doing here?" +

"I couldn't sleep." I said looking up at the stars. "Never seems to shut off when I want it to." +

"Same." He whispered. +

"I think I owe you an apology." +

"For?" +

"I'm not sure." +

"Then don't" he said sweetly. "Don't do that to yourself. If you said sorry for every time I did something wrong, then you'll never trust me." +

"But what did you do?" +

"What did you do?" +

"I let you leave and didn't talk it out with you." +

He laughed. "I didn't want you to feel obligated to. If you need space that's what I'm more than happy to give you." +

"Wait." +

"Yes that's why I left." he wrapped his hands around his legs. "What were you thinking about that couldn't make you sleep." +

I laughed. "Seeing Mrs. K today and talking about my fidget just made some unhappy memories pop up." +

"Like Alec?" +

"Yeah." He didn't respond so I pushed myself. "Is there anything you really want to know about my past?" +

He looked up at me but I didn't turn towards him. +

"Uhm no not really." +

"Come on, I won't lie." +

"Okay. Why do you play with your ring finger?" +

"Ahh the basics." I laughed, "I caught it when I first met Alec. He used to comment on how I would be a "beautiful bride". It was basically his way of trying to have me open up. Our friends would call him future husband and after a while we'd laugh about it. The first time he'd ever held my hand, he grabbed my hand and played with my ring finger." I started to rub it. "For Christmas, he bought me a little ring to put on it so I had something to play with. It was the first time he'd shown that he liked me. I always thought it was a game with him." +

Story continues below

"So you didn't trust him when you first met him?" +

"No," I looked at the stars, "I didn't really like trusting guys." +

"Why?" +

"My dad." I grinned, "How cliché? The one guy who should give me unconditional love and make me think I'm really beautiful, actually made me think the opposite." +

"Did he ever-" +

"No, all emotional trauma. If I wore something tight fitting, he'd call me too fat. If I wore makeup it was too much. If I was asked out, he'd ask who'd ask me out. After a while I started to wear long sleeved shirts and pants every day. Even in the summer. Then my sophomore year, I didn't eat, and he'd tell me off. Asking why am I taking the easy way out. How is starving yourself to a certain image the easy way out? I had started to get so bad, I fainted in certain times. Basically anything he saw wrong with me, I saw wrong with myself times ten." +

"Oh." Was his only response. +

"Next question?" +

"Uhm, do you ever think you could fall in love again?" +

My heart stopped. "Sometimes I wonder that myself. But then I ask am I really capable of it?" +

"What do you mean?" +

"Like, I love seeing people in love. It's beautiful. Not just the honeymoon stage, but when you see a couple and know, yeah they fight, but they choose to give each other space, to think about if the fight was important or not. Then they pretend it didn't happen or they move passed it. It makes them stronger. It's like the strongest friendship, but more. I see that and I think, am I capable of that?" +

"And?" +

"I mean that's what we did." I didn't look at him but I saw from the corner of my eye that his mouth slightly opened. "I'm not saying I'm in love with you, but I'm also not saying I wouldn't be able to." +

"With me?" +

"With anyone." His jaw clenched. "The idea of opening up to someone scares me." I continued. "Think of it, if the men who are supposed to love you, support you, treat you with respect and dignity, if they chose to do the opposite, could you learn to love or even fathom the idea of it?" +

"I have." It was his turn. "My mom, we have a strange relationship, it's nothing like you and your dad, but it's close. She blamed me for my sister getting sick, when we first found out, and when I wanted to come and listen to what the doctors had to say, she'd just tell me no. She'd blame me for it." +

"I'm so sorry.." +

"Well after awhile I gave up on our relationship, how can you blame someone who had no iea what was going on?" +

"You can't." +

"But she did." his voice broke. "I think that's why I have such a strange relationship with girls, "Jennifers and Carries" they make it easy. Because I can shut it down. I can just refuse to get close to them, and they'll take a hint. Other than my sister, I've never had a strong connection with woman." +

"So you're scared." I said silently. "Of being hurt again. Of trying to jump and not knowing if that person is going to catch you or just leave." +

We didn't say anything for a while. But I took his hand. It wasn't in the romantic sense. I wanted him to know I'm willing to catch him if he was willing to do the same. Neither of us knew how to connect with someone of the opposite sex, and just grabbing his hand, it was the first step. +

"Together," I started. "I want us to take baby steps together." +

"In a romantic way?" +

I laughed, "No bozo, in a platonic way. Neither you nor I have any real sense on trust. you preach to me about dating but you've yet to notice we're in the same boat." I nudged him. "So why not take the same ride and see where we go." +

"As friends?" +

"As friends." +

"And if one day, one of us decides we want something more?" he squeezed my hand but he couldn't tell he was squeezing my heart too. +

"Then the other one has to be just as ready." I looked at him. "Deal?" +

"Is this your idea of asking me out in the future?" +

"No." I smiled noticing he was leaning in closer. "Because neither of us know if this'll work." +

"I have a pretty good idea that it will." He said inches from my face. Just before I could pull away he kissed me on the forehead. "When you're ready." He whispered. +

We sat there for a moment looking at each other and for a moment I could feel every negative thought drift away. He smiled and it made me smile just as wide. +

"There you are!" I heard a female voice squeal and I jumped away from him. "Tyler you forgot your key in my car." +

"Oh uhm thanks Lacey." He coughed. +

"Who's this?" we asked in unison. +

"Oh Lacey this is Kate the friend I told you about, Kate this is Lacey, I met her in a bar on my walk." +

And all the bad thoughts were back but they weren't about me. No they were about Lacey and Tyler. He looked at me and under the blankets squeezed my hand. +

"Pleasure meeting you Lacey." I smile letting go of Tyler's hand and getting up, "I guess you two should continue getting to know each other." +

"Are you his girlfriend?" The young blonde asked. +

"No." Tyler said before I could, "We're just friends." +

"Then why is she wearing a hoodie with your last name?" She pointed her hand at me. +

"Believe it or not friends share clothes." I laugh taking it off and handing it to her. "Believe me when I say, if he remembered your name after a while, you've got no threat from me. I'm just a friend." I strained. "Anyways, I need to pack, I've gotta get back to Pueblo tomorrow." +

Tyler stood up and grabbed my hand, "But we weren't supposed to go back till Monday." +

"Silly me, I forgot I put in a three day weekend." I smiled. "Again it was nice meeting you Lacey, you're in great hands with him." +

And I walked back to the hotel without my blanket, his hoodie, or a clear mind. +

"Stupid." I whispered to myself