#what am i here for? just to suffer?

[onychespherein]

writing a fic, pausing in the middle of a sentence: what the fuck was the word

#it started with an 'i' #in-something #like a sign of something but like;;; fancy #look i know what it was i don't NEED to google it. i know it #i know the fucking word #I don't know the word. #(after googling it) OH MY GOD IT WAS INDICATION #screaming into the void #or when it turns out that a word didn't actually meant what i thought it meant #but instead like. a Complete Opposite of what i thought #or or #is it (something-something) 'out' or 'off'??? or 'on'?????? something else??????????? #also 'theres a Very Specific phrase/word/saying for this Very Specific thing that i remember reading a few days ago but don't Remember it #and i have no fucking idea how to look it up' #existence be pain and living be a nightmare #what am i here for? just to suffer?

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[vellichorom]

now, people are free to think whatever they like, i won't tell them that they're wrong, but i'm not sure i entirely agree with the idea that 432 is responsible for the skip button ending happening the way that it did,

rather... i think, quite literally, that they had no hand in it.

#uwu art #The Stanley Parable #The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe #TSP Skip Button #Skip Button Ending #TSP Settings Person #TSP Timekeeper #TSP Employee 432 #TSP 432 #NOW that i posted them now I can Post About Them #featuring something that was supposed to be a warmup & turned into something else #i honestly think the skip button ending was a result of the narrator's self-consciousness & just Terrible circumstances & some hypothetical #* third party interference #but that third party is not 432 nor anyBODY really present in the game #but the game itself #but i definitely am onboard with thinking 432 saw what was going on & did nothing to help #not in a ' fuck you narrator suffer ' type way just ' that's his bed he can lie in it i just work here ' type neutral way #never quite caring or realizing just how DEVESTATING

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail #mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers #so here's the long version #pontifications and creations #only thou art holy #also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault #and it got worse from there #just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition #idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here #but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it #there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too #but that one made me mad #idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent #they're blocked now though so whatever #anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks #since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering #and now i kind of want to give my version #I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that #but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine #unlike the giver of that talk #anyway #tag rant over #...for now #theodicy

[treasureplcnet]

btw i love revenge stories i dont think anyone should ever move on peacefully. a bit obsessed with the way weissman went to the synagogue and rabbi and asks, "my choices killed a child. would god take mercy on someone like me?" and the rabbi says "it's not god's mercy you should look for. its the child's" and like you think that would spur this man into charitable activities and to maybe look out for orphans but instead he goes on a 24 hour revenge bender that ultimately ends in two revenge killings and his own death. what's better than righteous anger and wrath and love twisting someone into the worst but also a truer version of themselves <3

#like im not even reaching here. (sort of am. whatever) #rabbi goldstein essentially goes 'think of esther. you need to be a man she would take mercy on. be someone she can forgive' #and it takes all of 10 minutes for karl weissman to decide yeah ok what i need is double homicide #do i think esther would have wanted revenge in her name. dunno. maybe. #she is 11 and very much the victim of this story. maybe she would have wanted karl to just live. kids are cruel and kind in that way #but to be fair this is esther 'fuck with me and you'll hang like a dog' jankovsky #so im willing to believe she was rooting for him #also the immediate choice to make elias suffer by shooting his leg (? maybe arm) before actually killing him #i dont know. the deliberate cruelty right after he visits the synagogue. an act of defiance. giving himself up after its done. it gets me #i love . I LOVE REVENGE :) GREATEST PLOT POINT EVER!!!!!!!! #sorry everyone about the bodies thoughts. i have no idea how long this is going to last #bodies netflix #karl weissman

[cluescorner]

I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc

#damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne #batman #batfamily #for all of the issues that come with having Steph as your fave having too much wild shit happening at once is never one of them #btw I quite like The Boy Wonder Issue 1. wow shocker an artist and writer who I have liked everything they've ever done #has once again written something that I am enjoying with art that makes me want to be part of its world. #it's almost like Juni Ba is really freaking talented or something #like I have some problems with it but it seems like many of those are part of the point. Damian is learning that his siblings are more #three-dimensional than he realized and that is part of this 'coming of age' story merged with fairytale #so I can't be mad at the oversimplistic defining of Dick and Jason and Tim until the conclusion of the series. that might be the point. #I hope that the series will address Steph as a Robin but if not then frankly it's not an issue unique to this series. #I'll be annoyed and disappointed but ultimately roll with it like I am with Babsgirl being here. There's too much good stuff here to get #hung up on shit that seems to be almost an editorial mandate at this point. at least that's where I'm at. #I am also very sorry that Chip Zdarsky is massacring your boy. he has 'X (Tim for him) is the best Robin so everyone else must suck' diseas #where a writer really likes one specific Robin and in trying to uplift them demeans all of the other Robins. instead of like...just writing #for that one character only or alternatively not demeaning the other characters in order to make his blorbo look good #it's wild because I actually think his writing for Tim is pretty solid. but he's not writing a Tim series. he's writing a Batman series. #and if you are going to write a Batman series and include other Batfamily members you need to actually write them well. #instead of assigning them like 2 personality traits while Tim gets to be a whole character #I accept that behavior in fanfic where I have lesser standards because it's fucking free. not a comic run that wants me to pay #tens of dollars in order to understand what the fuck is going on. he's been going for a while now it's gotta be a lot of money. #I can buy Steelworks with that money. I can see John Henry and Natasha Irons in a trade. Fuck you Chip. #it's why it takes such a special person to write a good ensemble story/a good Batfamily story. you have to be good at writing a LOT #of different characters. which I don't think most people are. I sure as hell am not. I can write maybe 3 at a time confidently well. #and you also have to give all of them at least SOME love or else people will be upset that you aren't focusing on their fave #and also the writing as a whole will suffer. Chip Zdarsky is a pretty good Tim writer. I'd maybe read a Tim solo written by him. #I would not read a story focusing on multiple characters that I like written by Chip Zdarsky. because every character who isn't Tim #is at least a bit weak/inconsistent/out of character INCLUDING FUCKING BATMAN. THE NO. 1 GUY MOST ARE HERE FOR

[generalsmemories]

every time i see someone shit on the xianzhou story quest on twitter i die a little bit inside.

#narus' corner #SO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE HATED XIANZHOU BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS AND ANCESTORS HAD PULLED UP THEORY AFTER THEORY #AND WHEN SAID THEORY DID NOT FCKING GO ALONG WITH WHAT THE ACTUAL WRITERS HAD IN STORE HELL BROKE LOOSE #ion think u understand #maybe im biased. i probably am but the way hoyoverse tackled immortality with xianzhou is quite bittersweet honestly #YA'LL WANTED UR DOOMED YAOI AND YURI AND TBH ME TOO BUT THEY ARE STILL FCKING DOOMED EVEN IF SOME THEORIES DID NOT GO AS MOST SHIPPERS WANT #THEY STILL DOOMED MILADYS AND GENTS AND NONBINARY PEEPS DAN HENG IS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AS WE SPEAK. #u look at xianzhou and see predecessors suffering the consequences of what their ancestors wanted because of immortality and vow to stop it #because they been fighting people against GALAXIES who wants a taste of that immortality who also don't KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT WHICH I #LITERALLY GETTING MARA-STRUCK WHENEVER UR MEMORIES OVERLOAD FROM LIVING TOO LONG AND GO: damn this was shit writing cause i didn't understa #IMMA AAAH #eternal wars where when u find peace after winning you DON'T BECAUSE YOU TURN MARA-STRUCK FROM THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA U HAVE #when immorality isn't immortality in a sense u can't be killed but long lifespan but then u can't even live said long lifespan #because u get mara-struck from participating in wars to protect AND YA'LL COME OVER HERE AND SAY BAD WRITING?! #and don't come with what the fuck is phantylia doing #ion think u understand how fucked we would've been if phantylia managed to actually absorb that ambrosial arbor AS A GODDAMN EMANATOR #OF DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS?! YA'LL WANT INFINITE HEALING WHILE GETTING BLASED OR SMTH!?! #and the aftermath which was probs the most hated on #imma just. #imma shut up LMFAO

[spicyicymeloncat]

Idk if this is a hot take but why is it always “Kai slaved away and worked his ass off to raise his sister” and never the other way round or them working hard together?

Like, I know he’s older but in the show, does he really… act older? Like if you think about Kai and Nya’s dynamic yknow? Because from my understanding:

When Kai and Nya are introduced we see Kai fail at making a sword and Nya being the one to chide him for it. Kai makes an overconfident statement about wanting to be a better blacksmith than his father. This suggests that one, Kai is rather rash as well as inexperienced (something that lines up with the rest of his character arc in the pots and also generally), with Nya being the more mature figure in contrast

Also just a note but in the shorts: “I can handle it!” “No you can’t, stupid”

Kai frequently being very good at neglecting people or things: leaving Lloyd at an arcade whilst being focused on finding samurai x, not even knowing samurai x was Nya or that she only did it because she felt left out by him, completely abandoning both Nya and Lloyd in s3 (and Ik he was going through it at the time, but in line with the fandom’s characterisation of him)

Kai in season 5: “After I lost my dad, I lost my way. But I was lucky to have my sister watch over me”

Generally, their dynamic isn’t one where Kai really provides for Nya at all. In fact, judging by the fact that Nya can make entire mechs and Kai struggled to make a sword, Nya was probably busting her ass to provide for Kai. And judging by the s5 quote, that’s probably true. I’m not saying Nya raised Kai, it just rubs me the wrong way when she’s treated like a decorative flourish to a narrative that paints Kai as a burnt out child who was forced to grow up too soon especially since that is such a mischaracterisation of him in the first place.

#all I’m saying is that it’s weird we undersell all of the sister’s capabilities just so we can present the brother as tormented and burdened #ignoring the fact that he spent all his days in the gap between the pilots and s1 playing video games #like I’m sorry kai is a pathetic baby girl in the show and I LOVE HIM THE WAY HE IS #okay yeah I snapped a little #I’m just tired of everyone mischaracterising him yknow #like I’m sorry bestie he’s not that capable he’s a loser man and I am ready to love loser men #i just think that it’s an incredibly stereotypical dynamic to have one male character who everyone completely #over exaggerates their struggles to the point of making it seem that everyone else in the story either doesn’t suffer or is an asshole for #not noticing the suffering of this one hot guy #this happens in many fandoms and I think this is what’s happening here #hhhhh #I’m sorry if Kai is ur favourite and this opinion upsets you I don’t mean to be bitch #I’m just really not into this interpretation of him #again this isn’t a dog at his character I just thing people don’t get him a lot of the time #and you know what Nya is also super undersold as a character #like where’s the fucking Nya Lloyd sibling content? #she mentored Lloyd too? she taught him how to ride dragons she stayed with him on the bounty she and Lloyd only had eachother in s9 #what about them?? #Kai gets too woobified and Nya doesn’t get woobified enough that’s my opinion #alright I’m done sorry #Ninjago #rant #ig this is a #ninjago analysis #i won’t tag characters cuz I don’t want to make anyone upset #and again I’m sorry if I do

[ride-a-dromedary]

I have no base for this, but Halsin seems like the type who would settle in the middle of the group with fruits (that he likely foraged) and little wooden bowl in tow and just start cutting them unprompted and offering them to everyone else.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin #Halsin Posting #i cannot get over him telling shadowheart he would feed her and carry around her bowl if she were a goldfish #you know what i'm talking about right - like the little paring knife cuts them in his hands #at first it just looks like he's doing it for himself but like halsin just eats things sans cutting them lbh #it's a clever and nonchalant way for him to share because others are more likely to take small pieces than like a whole apple yk? #we should all benefit from the bounty we are provided every day and all that #and eventually near everyone just starts...taking it from him and he smiles and continues #i think my other basis for this is halsin just doesn't like seeing people suffer - whether that be neglecting their basic needs #(because he neglects his own self enough lmao but lemme not neglect my friends though they're important) #or isolating themselves or what and it stems from his desire of just wanting to help #and feels absolutely no offense if they brush him off #like okay but it'll still be here if you want it later ^_^ #that's also why i am a sucker for the 'halsin offers to let astarion drink from him' trope in fics #because it goes along with the 'i don't want you to suffer and if i can help i will' even though as a druid #technically your existence is very dodgy to me (but halsin is just a nice person! that's really the long and short of it) #but like obviously disapproves if you do it without permission lol

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining) #and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually. #my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY. #anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

[averlym]

4 on the angst list with Araleyn please I need them to suffer

4 : "but it's my fault, right?" (prompt list here)

#<blinks> very gently implied angst i suppose. usually everyone makes anne suffer so for a change #here's catherine struggling with the idea that if she hadn't been so stubborn about divorce- #maybe it would have been more okay for henry to divorce anne instead of. yknow. chopping her head off. #gently implied angst with the. well. i hurt this person i care about. unintentionally. but still. hence also the historical counterparts bg #... i feel like this isn't suffering (italicised for emphasis) but unfortunately? i am in a more melancholy mood #and also coming to conclusion that whump isnt really my taste.. so quite literally you'd have to pay me to draw it .. dfdsghjkl comms open #anyways yeah i think the most you'll get from my own stuff is <reference to beheading> <mentioned death> <abstract reds that might be blood #six the musical #six the musical fanart #anne boleyn #catherine of aragon #pssst drew anne extra pretty bc coa pov. if you get what i mean. #oh that got off tangent. but also tldr; requests mean free art!! (also idm if you ask for specific things. like your own aus. just to put #that out there) #but also requests: 1. up to my creative freedom and discretion so you probs won't get exactly what you want + 2. no time limit so #can take literal years to reply to. #so ig ? if you have specific things in mind. that you want me to draw. commissions would be better for you if you'll pay! #but if you don't have the money i'm also. lowkey willing to draw for free.. stick it in the inbox .. there's just no guarantee you'll get it #within the next year.. or at all! but you may as well try your luck o.O #(this plan is terrible for business but because for a very long time i was unable to buy anything online. i sympathise greatly ig)

[polygondotcomvideoproducer]

No more griffin no more justin no more ashley no more allegra no more brian no more karen no more jeff no more josh no more jenna

#polygon #why am I still here. just to suffer? #pat simone and clayton are everything they're incredible they're clowns they're my scrunkly meow meows or whatever the fuck #but they're not gonna be able to manage this shit alone like girl what the fuck #also I am dumb so I may have missed other people that left/were let go #except [redacted] he doesn't belong there

[kiwichaeng]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the tags @heartstringsduet @lemonlyman-dotcom @fallout-mars @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad <33

“Are you going to hover over me the entire night? Am I going to find you looking down at me at 3 am?” Carlos’ tone is light as he finishes sits down heavily on the edge of the bed. He doesn’t hide the wince as well as he thinks. TK remains quiet in the corner.  Carlos looks up when he doesn’t get a response. He tilts his head and looks at TK curiously.  “What are you doing all the way over there? I know you don’t need to sleep but I would feel better if you didn’t stare at me from the corner the entire night.” TK knows it’s in good faith, that they’ve come leaps and bounds since they met and if nothing else else, the humour in Carlos’ eyes would give it away but tonight, all TK can do is play back the evening’s event in his mind over and over.  He knows Carlos has noticed it. He had kept on shooting glances at TK the entire time at the hospital as he was being treated to the point where the doctor had asked him if he was looking for someone.   The white bandages peaks out from under Carlos’ collar and TK’s eyes are fixed on them like a moth to a flame.  This is on him, that he got someone as good as Carlos tangled up in his mess. He should never have followed him home, never forced him into helping and should have— He should never have gotten attached.   “I have to go. You should too,” TK murmurs in the quiet room and made for the door. He doesn’t look at Carlos once as he slipped out of the room. “What— TK wait,” He can hear the confusion in Carlos’ voice turn into panic. “Where are you going?”  With a heavy heart, TK ignores the calls and keeps walking straight ahead down the empty hallway.  “TK,” Carlos whispers loudly from behind him but TK doesn’t turn back. It is only when he hears a sharp inhale and a wince does he stop.

open tag and no pressure tags under the cut <3

@liminalmemories21 @lightningboltreader @orchidscript @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @paperstorm @carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk @ladytessa74 @three-drink-amy @chicgeekgirl89 @theghostofashton @redshirt2

#lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from the tag list <3 #I have been writing in snippets these past few days and I just need to sit down and compile everything as well as fill in the missing blank #also I don't really edit as I go so the snippets I post on here may change a bit in the final draft or even look completely different #What I'm trying to say is that I'm aware they need polishing #anyway! this obviously takes place slightly down the imaginary timeline I keep on fucking around with #also I am in such a writing mood right now but I also have a shit ton of work to do like...gotta suffer now #evie's writing #autopsy fic

[tastycitrus]

looking for cass fics via cass’s tag on ao3 be like

here's a story about tim where cass is a minor character

here's a story about jason where cass is a minor character

here's a story about dick where cass is a minor character

here's a story about damian where cass is a minor character

here's a story about literally anyone but cass, who is still just a minor character

rinse and repeat ad nauseam in whatever order, that's it that's like 90% of cass's character tag. also she's either barely present in her minor role, written out of character, or both at once

#cassandra cain #i am so tired. i just want to read about my girl. #not the 108th story about tim or jason being the poor little meow meow of the bat-family in which cass is barely a person #honestly this applies to steph and duke and probably anyone who's not batman or the four dudes. we're all suffering here #i think ao3 should implement some sort of major/minor appearance criteria for character tags #because it sure is tilting to look at cass's tag and see the entire first page is about pretty much everyone BUT her #in fact i've literally filtered out both tim and jason while searching cass's character tag #and i STILL got stories with them as the main focus. what the hell is this

[maggi-cube]

What can you even say to this?

TWs for death, child death, blood, and things of that nature. I’m not sure what other tags would help

#There are so many stories here so many tragedies some I didn’t hear about before now and some that have stayed with me. #i think about Reem when I try to sleep #And I have to do the little I can and continue to live while there’s so much happening daily #every second another life is lost and when we are crying out for the world to see their humanity they go aww :( so sorry we must kill them #i am in a warm bed and they are not #i have food and they do not #i am safe and they are not #my friends are alive and theirs are not #my family can find me and they don’t know where theirs is #i am not trying to make this about me but it’s like. living is a reminder that others aren’t even surviving #and when I ask what could possibly merit this kind of horror there’s no reason that makes sense #i feel like I’m going insane #i am donating i am boycotting i am buying secondhand at best #i spent my last bit of money on esims #i just. god why is there such suffering for a people who have done nothing but live why is there always pain for those just trying to live #why is it so hard to live quietly? why can’t we make things right right NOW #tw death #tw child death #free palestine