#what actually even happened in the last episode

[genericpuff]

Webtoon Canvas is pay-to-win now, I guess.

DISCLAIMER: All of the series I show here is for the sake of comparing statistics and criticizing Webtoons' Super Likes system. I have nothing personal against these series or their creators and I do not want anyone to get the impression that I am encouraging any sort of action against these creators. The following rant is merely my own observations and opinions concerning Webtoons itself as a platform.

I found out today that Webtoon has implemented a Super Likes ranking board.

This does exactly what it sounds like - it ranks Canvas series based on how many Super Likes they have. Whether or not this ranking board is on a weekly rotation (like the Originals rankings) or just overall, I don't know, but something immediately felt off with this system and it took very little time at all to realize what was really going on here.

When you actually click on the series listed here, it'll tell you how many Super Likes they've accrued overall. The first thing that made me raise an eyebrow was the fact that the Super Likes listed in the ranking boards isn't the same as what's listed in the comics' landing pages, but I chalked that up to a simple delay on WT's end as I can assume the ranking board doesn't refresh at pace with whatever Super Likes are coming in.

But the real red flag was this:

Limitless : Untold is a series with 1,657 followers and seems to get an average of 35-45 likes per episode.

But it somehow has 1,715 Super Likes?

Anyone who's run a Patreon, Ko-Fi, Ad Revenue, or any other sort of revenue-based system with their content will probably realize how that doesn't add up. The reality is that regardless of how many readers / followers you have, only a small fraction of them will actually spend money on your work or to support you. Not every person reading an Originals series is FastPassing. Not every person reading a webcomic is supporting the creator on Patreon. This ratio is even apparent outside of income-based statistics - for example, not every person who follows will read new updates each week and hit the like button (which is why you can have a comic with 1700 followers that only gets a few hundred views and a handful of likes per update). This ratio can be influenced by all sorts of different things, but one thing that doesn't typically happen is for the ratio to flip itself in this fashion.

To put it bluntly: how can a comic with a high of 45 likes in the past 3 months possibly accrue 1,715 Super Likes since it was launched just last week? You've probably already come to the conclusion on your own, but for those who haven't: there's very strong evidence to suggest that creators are buying their own Super Likes to get on this ranking board.

That's assuming the worst of this, though - after all, maybe some of these creators just have super supportive friends who are tossing them a ton of Super Likes? It costs $1 for 5 of them, in this example the amount of Super Likes comes out to approximately $343 (assuming my math is right lmao) which isn't massive amounts of money but it's, again, still really impressive for a comic with only 40 likes on average.

Bu Limitless : Untold isn't the only one in the rankings board that's like this. In fact, the top three spots are occupied by webtoons with the same tilted ratio.

But then, suddenly, after those top three positions, the following webtoons Super Likes totals that make a LOT more sense and reflect the usual ratio more accurately:

The Little Trashmaid, one of the most popular Canvas webtoons of all time and the first one to hit the 1 million subscriber mark in the Canvas section has only accrued 355 Super Likes so far... and you seriously want me to believe a comic like Limitless : Untold with only 0.08% of its readership is somehow genuinely earning five times the amount of Super Likes?

I want to make it clear yet again that I have nothing against the series that have managed to break the system in their own favor. None of this is meant to "slam" them or judge their work or anything of the sort, I'm simply comparing the numbers here and coming to a very reasonable conclusion as someone who's well aware of how ratios like this tend to work in webcomics and content creation. It's just not feasible for the top three comics in the Super Likes ranking boards to organically earn that many Super Likes relative to the sizes of their audiences, especially when compared to the bigger comics that are only pulling in a fraction of that amount. The ratios of Super Likes : actual likes for those bigger comics actually looks reasonable and expected, the ratios for the smaller comics that are sitting at the top are not.

If anything, Webtoons has created a broken system and these creators are simply using that system to their advantage. And I'm not necessarily going to fault them for that because I can get wanting to do whatever it takes to get eyes on your work.

But it does raise the question of what kind of system Webtoons has cultivated here - a system where creators are resorting to Super Liking their own episodes to bump themselves up in the leaderboards.

And before anyone asks me how I can be so sure that these creators are Super Liking their own works - I literally opted into the Super Likes system myself and proceeded to Super Like one of my own episodes.

(this is like the one helpful thing with my work still being on WT even though I'm not updating there anymore, it lets me test shit like this LOL)

So yes, this is a thing that creators can do and it would certainly explain the massive discrepancy in the ratio of Super Likes : regular likes for these smaller series.

This is literally pay-to-win. And who do we have to blame for this? Webtoons, full stop. Not only for implementing a ranking board for an optional monetization service while still allowing creators to use that monetization system to support themselves as a way to climb up that ranking board, but for creating this gross psychological dependency on the platform as the "only way" to build an audience, to the point that people are now paying Webtoons out of their own pocket just to have their thumbnail visible in a ranking board and maybe get some extra views (and 49% of their money back if they hit that $100 threshold). And on top of all that, further putting on the pressure of competition and 'exclusivity' among many budding creators who are doing what they do for free and for fun. Why are creators now being forced to compete in a metric that's solely determined by how much expendable income their own audience has?

Sure, at least this means creators can get themselves into a ranking board by their own power unlike the other categories that are hand-picked by Webtoons and / or determined by daily stats, but at what cost? The literal financial hit of paying for advertising with extra steps, and the ethical dilemma of essentially paying for potential views with microtransactions. This is no better than paying bots on Instagram to follow your profile and inflate your worth to those who aren't following you. None of it is real, it will not legitimize your work to throw money at Webtoons just to have your thumbnail visible in a ranking board. These are microtransactions meant to benefit Webtoons, not you, the creator.

#if you really wanna spend money on advertising just use comicad network or top webcomic #they both offer super reasonable rates with space bidding that gets you actual targeted advertising with control over how your ads look #instead of this stupid ass microtransaction gambling that people are doing to get their thumbnail listed in a leaderboard rotation #this is so fucking predatory #fuck webtoons #webtoon critical

[heyclickadee]

So, here’s the thing. The finale is weird. Yes, I’m hurt by the fact that Tech didn’t come back and that a character that’s very near and dear to my heart was badly handled, and that will never sit right with me. But even apart from that, the finale fundamentally does not function as a piece of storytelling or as the end to this story. I’m glad that people are enjoying it, and I will never tell anyone not to. But I don’t think it works. (I get very negative about the TBB finale under the cut.)

It’s not just the Tech stuff or the CX-2 stuff (which may very well have been the same stuff) that got dropped. It’s *everything*. Every theme, Every narrative thread besides retrieving Omega, every character arc except marginally Omega’s, Echo’s (also marginal), and Emerie’s, which was the shortest and gets wrapped up by her deciding to help Echo rescue the kids. It all stops. It makes everything that came before seem cheap and pointless if you take it into account. And this is so, so frustrating for me, because the entire show was driving towards this incredibly rich payoff, it could have been immaculate, and then it whiffed the ball so bad in the last episode that it didn’t just miss, it managed to knock over the bleachers and set the entire court on fire.

Some examples:

1. This season had a really interesting exploration of Crosshair’s PTSD via his hand tremor and how it was something he can learn to manage, but not something that would ever fully go away. Aaaaand then his hand gets chopped off. One, that was stupid. I’ve seen some excellent posts (here’s one by @the-bi-space-ace) detailing why that was a terrible way to handle Crosshair’s lingering trauma, and others talking about how the idea there was that Crosshair needed to move on and it was severing his last ties with the empire. The former, I agree with; the latter, I don’t, because not only—not only!—does this episode stop dealing with Crosshair’s trauma, it doesn’t even deal with having cut off his hand! It just sort of occurs. No one reacts to it, no one says anything about it, there’s no follow up or commentary, nothing happens as a result—it’s an event which occurs with no results coming after it. It may as well be an animation error. You can say it was about Crosshair needing to let go and move on, but that’s something you have to project on to the text, not something that’s actually offered by it. It’s empty.

2. Crosshair again: We also have the lingering issue of Crosshair’s guilt and the fact that he never seems to get to a point where it’s resolved. There’s set up for a resolution. We have that, “Sure you have,” like about Crosshair from Rampart. We also have Crosshair saying he deserves whatever happens to him in Tantiss. And then…no pushback. No resolution. No moment of Crosshair realizing that he doesn’t need to carry that burden. Nothing that says he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He had all this character development this season, but he needed - last little push to forgive himself—and we never get any indication that he does. It, like his trauma, gets dropped like a rock.

3. Hey! More Crosshair! A good chunk of Crosshair’s arc this season was about learning that anyone can change, first, and that no one is beyond saving. Eeexcept that goes no where.

4. Which brings me to my next point: There is set up for the CXs to be saved. Even if we’re laboring under the conclusion that CX-2 was never intended to be Tech at any point in the writing process (I have. Doubts. Yes, I’m calling the creative team liars, here), we do have the set up where we learn the electrocyanide zappers can be removed, and with Rex offering forgiveness to CX-1. “Whatever they did to you, whatever you’ve done, you’re still one of us.” CX-Tech or no, Crosshair’s arc was tied up with the CX plot, and because he’s the one the CXs tend to react to—or, at least, understands what was done to them—the set up was there for him to help save and maybe rehab the CXs. At the least, there was an indication that they could be saved. Eeexcept nope! That gets dropped like a rock, too, and they’re not going to deal with it. Time for maximum carnage.

5. Hunter’s arc actually takes a step backwards. Sure, he gets a technically happy ending, but because the squad is basically in the same place they were in “Pabu” back in season two (down a member but successfully hiding from the Empire in a safe place), it negates Hunter’s development towards actually taking action—and actually hurts Echo’s arc, too.

There’s been this tension all through the show between just sitting things out on the one hand (Hunter’s way) and taking direct action despite the futility on the other (Echo’s way), but instead of finding some kind of middle ground or third road, it sort of comes back around to saying that, actually, Hunter was right, they should have just gone to Idaflor back in episode three and never left even though the Pabu invasion said that no, you can’t just hide, and even Hunter’s development was moving in the opposite direction. And this also means that Echo never reaches a point where he feels like he can walk away and that he doesn’t have to get himself killed doing this. Despite development otherwise they both end up back at that conversation in “Tipping Point” without any move in either direction or resolution of that tension.

6. Omega. Okay, Omega probably comes out the best after the finale, and, conceptually, I actually love the idea of Omega becoming a pilot even if the epilogue falls a little flat for me. But stuff with Omega still got dropped, including:

- The force stuff. We have two episodes dealing with m-count (after learning in episode three what Omega was created to do). We also have Ventress telling Omega that she doesn’t have a high m-count as far as she can see, Crosshair immediately calling Ventress out for lying, and then Ventress basically saying, “Yeah, no shit, but if she has force potential she’d have to leave you behind, and it doesn’t matter what your opinion on that is, so I’m not dealing with that.” Aaaand then,m. That. Goes nowhere. Despite a bit of set up for Omega connecting to the force as early as episode one, and some more set up in Tribe, and that whole subplot of her learning how to meditate, and so on.

Now, I don’t think that it was ever going to turn out that Omega did actually have a high m-count or that she had a particularly powerful natural connection to the force. I think she’s probably got a low or baseline m-count. What I do think, however, is that we were going to see Omega connect anyway as a refutation of Palpatine’s and Hemlock’s entire scheme. Their goal (based off of the ST) was to create extremely force sensitive clones as a way for Palpatine to jump bodies without having to waste time re-learning how to connect to the force. You know—dark side, quick and easy path, focus on eugenics and raw power, etc. Had Omega connected anyway because of her big heart and desire to protect, it would have not only paid off that set up, it would have also refuted Palpatine’s and Hemlock’s entire goal. It would have worked so well thematically and the set up was THERE.

- branching off of that, I think the Omega force stuff was probably tied to the Zillo beast. We also had a through-line of Omega being good with animals and taking the time to calm them instead of responding with violence. The first time we see this is in “Replacements,” where she realizes that the ordo moon dragon (also an electrophage—I don’t know what to call these things—like the zillo beast) is just scared and hungry. This is all conjectural, but it still fits with what was set up.

- Moving on from the force stuff, we also had a through-line that started way back in episode two of the series, but which was really emphasized this season, about Omega feeling like she’s the cause of the bad things that happen to the people she loves. This is why she gives herself up during the Pabu invasion in the first place. This is never resolved! We get Omega’s confidence boost when she realizes she has the force kids to take care of, but we never get a moment where Omega realizes that she has no reason to feel guilty. She’s the glue that holds the family together! But nope! Also dropped!

- But wait! There’s more! The first two season finales have Omega watching someone she loves fall away while she’s helpless to do anything to save them. That’s perfect set up to put Omega in the same situation, but be able to save them, because she’s finally come into her own. Instead we just end up with her needing to be rescued again.

- Omega has this big speech in Shadows of Tantiss about spending her life stuck in one place or another against her will, and how she refuses to be confined like that. I don’t think Omega would have been happy just staying on Pabu for the entire rest of her childhood and young adult life, even if I think she’d want to use it on a home base. But! Dropped!

7. I still can’t get over the fact that the zillo beast is on screen for about two minutes and then just. Walks away. It’s a large beastie that’s been locked in confinement for a while and is probably hungry. And somehow it didn’t go straight to the reactors for some delicious energy smoothies. Like. It. Did. The. Last. Time. Someone. Let. It. Out. But no, that would have required it sticking around for something that was probably dropped sooooo ZILLO BEAST EXIT STAGE RIGHT I GUESS.

8. You notice how there are a ton of commandos around Tantiss, even up through “Flash Strike?” And how they kind of largely cease to exist? And how Echo says that there are far more clones imprisoned in Tantiss than anyone thought? And then how they rescue, like, a dozen guys? Because we never find our way back to those cells Crosshair was held in during season two? And how Tarkin does mention not wanting to allow clone dissidence to turn into an uprising back in “The Summit?” Because I did. This show was never going to be about a clone rebellion, that wasn’t the point, buuut I do think the set up was there for an uprising at Tantiss itself. Begin the series with clones losing their agency en masse, end the series with some of the most subdued clones taking it back. Except nope, dropped, soooo we gotta pretend the commandos don’t exist and murder the hell out of poor Scorch.

9. SPEAKING OF. The batch does kill clones sometimes, that does happen, but they do at least usually make some kind of effort to be non-lethal even when they’re not using stun, and times when they do resort to lethal tactics are usually born out of extreme circumstances. Not here, though!! NO HESITATION MAXIMUM CARNAGE. For. Reasons I guess.

10. There’s one point IN THE FINALE where Echo mentions signaling for Rex. This never comes up again. Rex does not show up. In fact, despite being called, “The Cavalry Has Arrived,” the cavalry does not in fact arrive. There is no cavalry. Yes, I know it’s a reference to Wrecker’s first line. But I’m sorry if you call an episode that YOU HAD BETTER HAVE A CAVALRY SHOW UP. Especially when you have a one about calling them in! But that also!! Got dropped like a rock!!

11. One positive: the moment Crosshair and Hunter leaning on each other to make that shot was nice.

12. Sorry, but Hemlock’s death was deeply unsatisfying. Let’s do something more than just shoot him multiple times, okay?

13. Rampart’s death, on the other hand, was incredibly satisfying. That said, the conversation about project necromancer? I’m dying. It’s actually hilarious, because it basically goes like:

“Tell me about project necromancer.”

“Wow! How interesting!”

I’m.

Are you serious?

I’m going to become the Joker.

Yes, I know we know what project necromancer is because of a different show. That’s not the point, the POINT. Is that any pay off for project necromancer in this show got dropped. And that’s deeply frustrating from a narrative perspective.

14. Speaking of, we never find out anything more regarding that partially successful m-count transfer from episode three.

15. We also never do anything with those medical records!

16. And Omega has a whole crossbow she never actually shoots despite the fact that her role on the team was as a sharpshooter after Crosshair left, and despite her getting advice from Crosshair on how to be a sniper. The literal chekov’s gun never goes off. I’m going to go eat gravel.

17. AZI, likewise, got toted around for three seasons for no reason. Probably could have helped with the medical records. Given that he was a Kaminoan medical droid. Oh, and that Omega was Nala Se’s medical assistant. So. Hmm.

18. You can cut everything in the season past episode five and skip straight to the epilogue and end up in the same place. This is not because the other episodes are filler. Far from it! The other episodes are great and deliver some amazing set up. But, because the finale does nothing with that set up, it doesn’t go anywhere.

The finale is, in a word, filler. It’s the only true filler episode in the show.

19. And you know what else? From a narrative perspective, there’s no reason for Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair to be in these episodes at all. They don’t accomplish anything and make everyone else’s job harder. Omega was doing fine, she would have gotten out with the kids with just Echo and Emerie, and Tarkin was coming to cut off Hemlock’s funding and shut everything down once Hemlock lost control of the facility anyway. I can only suppose that the whole reason they were in this episode ended up getting dropped, too.

20. CX-2. Listen, the answer we get about CX-2 isn’t that he’s not Tech. It’s, “Maybe, maybe not—you don’t get to know.” Because. He’s the only CX whose mask never comes off. After a season and a half worth of buildup of unmasking CXs and people pressing them to learn their names. It’s not a no, it’s a non-answer, which is far less satisfying.

And finally:

21: CX-Tech. I’ve seen some people speculating that there was a planned CX-Tech reveal that got scrapped at the last minute—dropped, along with the other points I’ve already laid out. And, honestly? I have to agree. Despite what the creative team says, because even their denials kind of come out weird (like the Kiners saying that the large brass chord in “Battle of the Snipers” was just a nice sounding brass chord and not a reference to “Plan 99.” They also basically say that the sacrifice theme from “Plan 99” is Tech’s leitmotif. Which. Is all over “Battle of the Snipers.” That theme. Not Crosshair’s. In a scene. Where he’s supposed to be fighting a shadow of himself who Totally Isn’t Tech but we put Tech’s leitmotif here and layered it in Techno music but nooo that was never supposed to be him. Nope. I mean, come on. I’m not stupid).This post is already long enough, so here are some posts by @apocalyp-tech-a pointing out the reasons why I think this was the case, and one by @eriexplosion pointing out why CX-2 as Crosshair’s shadow and only that doesn’t quite work. I don’t need to go over the trail that was laid out again. Up to the finale this was a character that had more screen time—and far more solo screen time—than Echo. Some people will not stop yelling that there was no evidence, and. No. I’m sorry, there was. I can’t agree.

And some people might say, well, okay, the show misdirected you guys and pulled off a twist by having CX-2 be no one, and well, I can’t agree with that either. Twists only function if the twist is more satisfying than the conclusion to which the story seems to be leading. And I’m sorry, you can’t tell me that a season and a half of CX building and three seasons (because I can find set up all the way back in episode one of the show) for Tech survival culminating in what amounts to a boss fight is more satisfying than getting to see Omega have her big brother back. You can’t.

The reason I bring this up last is because, yes, I think CX-Tech was a plot dropped at the last minute, but because I also think that it’s the dropped plot that ripped everything else apart. CX-Tech was an incredibly efficient way to tie up most of the lingering plot threads and dropped character development.

-Crosshair’s guilt? Okay, he faces down the end result of his decision to stay with the empire and possibly something he knew about (Tech would be in this situation because of Crosshair, and were given hints that Crosshair knew) and is finally able to forgive himself because they’re able to save him.

- Hunter’s decision to finally take action and be proactive rather than reactive is validated, because it’s the thing that finally gets him his entire family back.

- Echo saves someone the same way he was saved, and maybe he realizes that it is enough and that he doesn’t have to be a soldier forever.

- Wrecker’s efforts to keep the family together and keep Hunter sane finally pay off.

- Omega is able to protect the people she charges about and finally, finally has all of her brothers.

- Thematically, it rounds off each member of the batch (Omega included) traumatically losing and then taking back their agency in a way that correlates directly to who and how they are as people.

- It also rounds out the OG batchers each being haunted by a failure that has to do with the thing that makes them special.

- You get pushback against “Clone Force 99 died with Tech! We’re not that squad anymore!” because no, it didn’t, and they’re more than a squad, they’re a family.

- It comes around and closes the wound opened in Aftermath and ripped back open by Return to Kamino: they go in for Omega and lose someone, but here, they go in for Omega and get someone back.

- Would allow Tech to close off his lingering threads and finish his character development BECAUSE THOSE REMAINED UNFINISHED.

- Completely subverts the “bury your disabled” trope by making sure we know the character whose disability was explored the most’s life is more important than his death. Seems like an important thing to do in a show that is kind of about disability. Just saying.

- Makes the lack of closure and little mentions of Tech make sense from a storytelling POV because the necessarily catharsis would come from his return.

- And it would actually add some triumph to the ending. Yes, this little family survived. They outlived the war. They’re together, despite every effort to rip them apart. They made it, despite the dark times, despite the Empire, despite what they were made to do and be. They defied all of that. That would have been so, so satisfying.

As is, without Tech, without that CX-Tech reveal, we sort of end up in this weird place where all the themes are half-baked. They are more than soldiers…except Tech, who had to fall out of the story as a soldier (despite us getting the clearest glimpse of what his life outside of soldiering could have been. They get to live how they want…except Tech. They don’t leave their own behind, except Tech that one time. They should value their own lives a little…except Tech. They’re more than a squad, they’re a family…except Tech doesn’t get to see it, and they don’t get to have him around. We begin the series with a broken family and end it with a family broken differently. That’s not dynamic.

So there’s no really punch to the ending. It’s sort of…well, okay, we tortured a family for three seasons I guess. Relieved that the survivors are doing okay, but that’s kind of it.

22. The finale in general is just sort of a bunch of events which happen, but which don’t lead into one other. It’s weird.

TL;DR: I think a lot of stuff got dropped from the finale. I don’t know why. I suspect that it might have to do with the strikes—basically, the script was done, most everything was recorded and boarded, and then when the finale was in production they got sudden drastic budget cuts (this was during a time when the studios were disappearing entire completed shows and movies as tax write-offs), had to gut what they had planned, and couldn’t bring the writers or even showrunners in to smooth over what was gutted or to even pick what got taken out. They wouldn’t have gotten to choose or compress things. They were on strike (because the studios wouldn’t negotiate), and whoever did choose ended up just ripping out the stuff that would actually take any time or budget to deal with (so, basically everything I laid out), killing it (literally), and using the remains of what they already had recorded. And who knows how they had to fill in gaps.

But I don’t know for sure. Maybe it was that. Maybe it was a last minute decision to take certain plot points and put them in a different show. Maybe it was executive mandate. Maybe the creative team just sucked the whole time (that’s one I have a hard time buying—we have four other shows and most of this one that tell me that they’re better at their jobs than this). Maybe everyone said screw it, who even cares anymore at the same time.

Maybe nothing happened. Who knows? I strongly suspect something bad did happen behind the scenes that was out of the creative team’s hands—I really do, because that’s the only way I can make sense of this—but until we can get someone talking without six layers of PR and NDAs, we won’t know for sure. All I know is that The Bad Batch is an amazing show with 46 episodes that range from “fine-but-clunky” to “IMMACULATE,” with more leaning towards immaculate than not, and some incredible set up, and one episode so nonsensically bad it makes me want to eat drywall.

It’s just that the one terrible episode comes right at the end.

I love The Bad Batch. I love every single episode and all the things that were set up, but…eh, I think I’ll be ignoring the finale until further notice.

#the bad batch #in which I eviscerate the last episode of my favorite show #this is very negative! #you have been warned! #I did not like the finale! #AT ALL #I will continue to love the show #but that episode is getting memory holed #it’s BAD #in an otherwise remarkably solid and well written show

[starboybutler]

Chasing Cars

ao3 link

summary: bucky can't find a reason to get out of bed anymore. gale comes to him one night, and he's reminded of why he's fighting.

word count: 6451

warnings: bucky's crumbling mental health, gale's crumbling mental health, curt's death, slight eating disorders, depressive episodes, smut towards the end

notes: wow this was supposed to be pure smut but i accidentally plotted on my porn because i felt like being sad. oh well have this kinda character study thing i wrote purely on a whim

bucky hadn't left the bed.

he couldn't find a reason to. the rest of the men were outside, gathering wood. training, doing god knows what else to prepare for a plan that would never play out. after some brits had made their escape attempt, the amount of german pricks on duty almost doubled. that, and morale had pretty much gone down after they had said the captured escapees were executed. no one even wanted to make an attempt anymore.

they could talk about escape all they wanted to– it would never happen. they would try, fail, get shot, and get buried somewhere on enemy territory. hell, odds were good that if they waited it out the same thing would happen. so why bother?

he had been staring at the wooden slats of the bunk above him for about an hour, now. this felt familiar, at least. as he lay here, he could pretend he was back in base between missions, talking to curt about whatever was going on in their muddled brains.

“it was a close one today. don't want anymore missions like that for a while.”

“that's just how it is, bucky. they’ll only get tougher, y’know. but i think we got it.”

“yeah?”

“yeah. i’ll be tellin’ my grandkids about this one day, y’know. don't seem like it now, but i promise it’ll be a distant memory soon.”

always so optimistic. that was one of the last late-night conversations he had ever had with curt before he went down. he never even got to say goodbye to him. he’ll never forget the pure dread he felt when he asked buck about him, and he didn't have an answer.

sure, bucky could have believed he was alive with every fiber of his being, but that didn't change the fact that curt was dead, crashed somewhere over unknown territory, most likely to never be found.

so much pain, so much death. and for what, he would wonder. what was he really fighting for anymore?

“hey,”

a soft, low voice, like honey. all too familiar.

he looked up, faced with gale, who was just about the only friend he had left at this point. even then, he felt as if buck was slipping from his grasp at times. tensions were high, and he had yelled at him more than he would like to admit.

just yesterday, they got into it outside. john was at fault, he absolutely deserved the punch to the face gale gave him, but neither of them had spoken to one another afterwards. john was never good witth apologies.

“hey,” he said back, the bruise on his cheek left by the blonde throbbing dully as he made eye contact with him for the first time since their scuffle.

“you just gonna lay here all day?” gale asked, his tone not angry or accusatory– just soft and genuinely curious, laced with just a tinge of worry.

“that's the plan,” he replied, shrugging. “nothin’ else to do. unless you wanna punch me again.”

gale stiffened a bit, his lips twitching as if he were trying to find the right thing to say, before he just sighed heavily.

“i’m worried about you.”

bucky shut his eyes, a sigh of his own escaping his chest.

“i know.”

it fell quiet between them. john had closed his eyes so that he couldn't see gale’s sad baby blue’s boring into him, urging him to roll over and show him his most vulnerable parts like a dog begging for attention. for pity.

he knew gale was worried. he knew it before their fight, and he knew it now. gale wasn't an idiot. far from it, actually. he was intelligent and observant, which was why he was such a damn good pilot. he saw john’s pain before john felt it. he saw it in how john would lash out at anyone that looked at him wrong, and how he would toss and turn in his sleep at night.

“you haven't eaten in a few days.”

“i know,” bucky said again. he couldn't bear to imagine gale’s expression. “i’m tired of the same shit. if i see another potato i’ll puke.”

“bucky.” gale hissed, voice urgent. “i’m being serious.”

“so am i.”

he hadn't eaten in about three days. ever since his last serving of the same bland bullshit, he decided he would rather starve than touch it again. so what, if he lost a little weight? that seemed to be the least of his problems right now.

he didn't care anymore. he just didn't care if he withered away inside this stalag surrounded by his men. that seemed to be the most honorable thing to do at this point- because at least then he'd be around people that knew him, and celebrated him. he'd rather die here and now, miserable, than drag it out and die alone in enemy territory with no one around.

“okay, bucky.” gale mumbled, clearly on edge already and not in the mood to argue. “just…i’ll be outside with everyone else. you should eat some dinner tonight.”

the blonde stalked off, expression and gaze steely and distant as bucky rolled back onto his side, facing the wall and sighing tiredly.

night rolled around and he didn't drag himself out of bed for dinner. he couldn't. the urge to eat, to get up and walk and be active wasn't there. his will to survive had vanished.

gale wasn't the only one worried about him. he heard everyone muttering to one another behind his back as they ate the slop that was served to them half-heartedly.

‘he doesn't look good at all.’

‘i know. when’s the last time he left his bunk?’

‘hush and eat. he can probably hear you.’

bucky didn't care what they were saying. whatever it was, it was probably true. maybe word around the stalag was that major john egan was a spineless, worthless, gutless piece of shit that gave up on everyone around him when they needed him most. harsh, yes, but not necessarily wrong. john was acutely aware of how him laying in this bed, rotting for days on end was selfish to his men. he knew that they were looking to him for guidance, and all he was giving them was a depressing display of self pity.

his mind drifted back to curt. he would always tell bucky that he was one of the strongest and most resilient people he had ever met, and how he would give anything to be as half as stubborn as him.

bucky always shot back that stubborn didn't necessarily mean good, but curt refused to see him in a bad light under any circumstances.

“i got you a bowl.”

gale’s voice. he glanced over his shoulder, gazing at the metal dish that gale was holding in his direction. same meal they'd been served for the last few months. the rumbling in his stomach wasn't even a bother to him anymore.

“thanks buck,” he hummed, turning to face the wall once more. “but i’m not hungry.”

silence fell over the room, tense at bucky’s blatant refusal of the food gale offered. he heard a short sigh from his friend, as well as a scuffing of his shoe against the floor as he turned on his heel and walked away.

he felt his stomach sink with guilt, but he really wasn't hungry. what was the point of eating, prolonging his survival when he would most likely die in the very bunk he was laying in? the thought made his appetite disappear.

he pulled the thin, scratchy blankets they were given over himself, clutching it in his hands tightly as if it were the only thing keeping him tethered to this reality.

honestly, it might have been.

𓆩✧𓆪

days and days passed him by. he wasn't able to shake the dread that had begun eating at him days ago. in fact, it seemed to have consumed him whole by this point. he only left the bed when he was instructed to by those goddamn guards, or when he had to use the bathroom. he didn't get up for food, water, to exercise, to speak to friends, nothing. he was not interested but a shell of the outgoing, confident man he used to be.

gale had kept trying to get him to leave his bunk, or to at least put some food in his system. he would bring a plate of food for him every night, and bucky would refuse it all the same. he would tell him that the others were asking for him, but bucky just brushed it off. if they were really worried, they knew where to find him.

only a few other men besides gale came to check on him during the day, hambone being one of them. he started talking about how different things were without him around. it was quiet, and no one really liked it all that much. they missed his snarky comments about the german guards and how he would shit talk them all day. that got a little smile lut of him, he had to admit that. what got him feeling serious again was when hambone started talking about how gale was taking his absence.

“he’s been quiet. way quieter than normal.” he said, voice dropping low. “only says one or two words to everyone before…he just shuts down. goes into autopilot. it's not really like him.”

and he was right. after he had said that he kept think about gale, how he was probably out there with god knows how much on his mind, and for bucky to only be adding to that…

what was he doing?

was he really causing buck that much distress? the thought made his stomach sink with guilt. gale already had so much on his mind, and for bucky to act like a petulant child and add onto all of that stress and anxiety and pain he’s been bearing for the entirety of the men trapped here was so unbelievably shitty.

what kind of friend– what kind of man did something like this to his other half– his rock, his one source of sanity in this camp, in this war?

he curled in on himself further, self loathing and dread curling their ugly black tendrils around him, engulfing him in a pitch black abyss.

he felt so, so sick all of a sudden.

𓆩✧𓆪

“word is there's gonna be another march in a few days,” hambone dutifully informed him, leaning against the creaky wooden wall and staring out the window, into the yard.

bucky was actually sitting up in his bunk today, idly fidgeting with the little radio gale had crafted a few days earlier in his hands. he hadn't actually spoken to buck, finding himself unable to think of anything of value to utter to him.

“again?”

“mhm,” he mumbled, fiddling with the dirty sleeve of his sheepskin. “apparently allies are real close. gale caught word of that last night on that radio. not sure when the germans caught wind. might happen tonight.”

bucky grimaced, setting the tiny radio on the cluttered table, sighing and squeezing his eyes shut at the prospect of walking for days on end just to get to another shitty camp, and rot there for god knows how long. he hasn't eaten in a good week, and he knows his odds of surviving the march on an empty stomach are little to none.

“thanks for tellin’ me,” buck said softly, standing from his bunk and making his way towards the door, keeping his eyes glued to the floor as he stepped outside for the first time in weeks. immediately, he felt eyes on him from all angles.

‘major egan?’

‘he’s okay!’

‘christ, i thought he died…’

he smiled humorlessly, making his way over to the water pump and grabbing one of the metal jugs, placing it under the tap and filling it up with slightly murky water and sighing to himself. he hadn't seen gale yet. a small part of him was hoping that buck would be the first person waiting for him, but he also wasn't in a good headspace to talk to him right now. he didn't know what to say to him, after knowing all the torment he had put him through with his little episode.

he turned the tap off, exhaling deeply and picking up the jug– flushing when he struggled a bit due to the weakness that came with staying in bed and not eating in about a week. he lifted it on the second attempt, huffing and hauling the jug back to his bunk.

out of the corner of his eye, he saw gale, encouraging some men to push a little harder to break the ground using that damned contraption- whatever it was called. he tensed at the sight of him, speeding up his steps until he was safe back in his bunk.

he set the jug down heavily, not even thirsty anymore. that night march could kill him, for all he cared. maybe then gale’s problem’s would be solved.

he laid in his bunk miserably, jug discarded as he thought of gale. he deserved the world, he deserved to be happy, to live a life without having to worry about him being a sad sack of shit, wallowing in his self pity. he did his best to try and keep his spirits up, but he couldn't help it. he didn't have anything to look forward to anymore. life just seemed like a whirlwind of misery and he didn't know how much more he could take. so many friends lost, so many people dead.

maybe when he died, gale would finally move on, lose that stress that came with knowing him. he could only hope.

𓆩✧𓆪

john had lost track of time long ago. he only knew day and night, and occasionally he was told what month it was.

he knew it was late, evidenced by the snores of all the men around him, and how the room was pitch black. the moonlight didn't reach his bunk, leaving him alone in the darkness to stare up at the wooden slats of the bunk above him.

he heard shuffling from somewhere in the room, then the creaking of floorboards as someone moved towards his bed.

“bucky?”

gale’s voice rang in his ears, making him go completely still as if he were a scared cat. maybe he was dreaming, and the gale beside him was nothing more than a figment of his imagination, spurred on by hunger. but when gale didn't leave, he turned to look at the blonde with tired eyes.

“yeah?”

“can’t sleep,” he said softly, and the bags under his eyes seemed to prove it. “mind if i bunk with you tonight?”

bucky wanted to say so many things. ‘of course you can.’ ‘no, i don't want you to get too attached to me if i’m bound to die soon.’ ‘i love you.’ but all that came from him was a little “uh huh,” as he scoot over to make room for the blonde.

he felt his mattress dip, and a familiar warmth crowding at his side. he almost jumped up at the almost desperateness of it all, half expecting gale to just lay by him and turn the other way. the blonde wrapped his arms around his waist, a surprising amount of muscle on them from the training they had been doing in preparation for an escape, and buried his face into the nape of his neck.

it was dangerous to be doing this here, with everyone in the room. anyone could wake up and they'd probably kill them on the spot before the nazis could. no one would accept it– two respected majors, cuddled up together like shy newlyweds in the middle of a shitty stalag, when they should be leading their men, training them, helping out in some way. but, as gale tightened his arms around john, holding onto him as if he'd disappear if he let go, he found that he could care less about what everyone would think of them.

“buck,” he started, voice soft, as soft as it's been in a long while. “what–”

“i’m scared, john,” he whispered, trembling ever so slightly as he pressed closer, like he was trying to become one with the other man. “i’m trying so hard to keep up appearances, to lead and be strong, but i’m scared.” he admitted, fingers digging into john’s side.

john was shocked into silence for a minute. gale was always so well put together. he never cracked under pressure, he just didn't. up in the air, when his engines were out and his crew was panicking, he would land that b-17 like it was nothing. ‘no engine cleven’, they called him, and he just smiled in that shy little way of his, heading to the barracks to sleep off the shock and do it all over again.

he'd seen gale shaken up a few times. when they landed in africa, he was quiet. quieter than usual, anyway. he was staring off into the distance, eyebrows drawn together slightly as he worried that damned toothpick in his mouth until it snapped in two.

but for gale to admit that he was scared was…unheard of. he wasn't the type to show or admit his emotions too openly, none of them were. but being here and eating the same bland shit, not knowing if you're ever gonna get to go home, and watching the last of your friends die during nighttime marches to a new camp did something to you. it broke whatever spirit you thought you had left.

“gale, hey-” he whispered, turning on his side and gently cupping the blonde’s face, watching as tears welled up in his eyes and spilled down his flushed cheeks. “hey, look at me. none of that,”

he used his thumb to wipe away his tears, tilting his chin up so that the blonde’s glassy eyes met his. he hated seeing gale cry. he hated knowing that all this time, he's been in pain, the weight of all of these men in camp on his shoulders, counting on him, and all john has been doing is making it worse.

“i’m sorry,” gale sniffs, hiccuping softly, breath picking up as john pulls him close, allowing the blonde to hide in his chest and inhale his scent. “fuck, i’m sorry. i just don't know how much longer i– if i can do this anymore.”

those words put fear into john’s heart. if gale, the brains, the brawn, the heart and soul of the very operation to get them out of here was losing hope– what did that mean for them? were they truly doomed to die in enemy hands, holding onto the hope that allies would somehow manage to sneak close enough to the shitty camps they were held hostage in and launch an attack on the germans?

he knew most of their thinking was extremely wishful, but it was something. a little glimmer of hope in a dark, gray times. for buck, gale was that glimmer of hope– that thing he held onto when all else seemed to fail him. even when he felt he’d die here, at least it would be with buck.

he couldn't let gale give up like this. not for his sake– hell, not for everyone’s sake. if gale gave up, he gave up. and if he gave up, everyone else would give up. a hell of a burden to carry on top of everything.

“gale,” he said softly, taking both of his slender hands into his large ones, caressing the backs of his knuckles with his calloused thumb. “gale, you've gotta keep going. without you, this whole thing would fall apart.” he said, nuzzling closer to him.

“i can't save everyone, bucky.” he hiccuped, trembling in little fits and starts, shattering john’s heart as he watched. “i can't even save the person that matters most to me. if i can't do that then–”

“you don't need to save me.” john said harshly, much more harshly than he intended to. he saw gale wince, and he immediately regretted being so harsh. “i mean– you don’t– i’m just like this. nothing you can do about it, buck. it’s not your job to fix me, okay?”

“i want to. i want you to be okay, bucky. i want–”

he sniffled, nuzzling his hot, tear-stained cheeks into bucky’s large hands. “i want you to be okay. i want you to be there with me, no matter what. i just– we've lost so many men, john. so many. but i still have you. i can save you, i can help you. i just….i need to make you feel better than this. i need you to know how much you mean to me.”

bucky was stunned into silence. he spent all this time thinking gale loathed him for his behavior, wishing he was dead and gone so that he had one less thing to worry about– but gale just spilled his guts to him about how john was the most precious thing in his life right now. not marge– him. him. it made his heart swell with something ugly.

“i’ll always be with you, buck.” john said softly, stroking his blonde locks, once soft but now slightly gritty with dirt and grime from their time in the stalag. even with limited supplies to take care of his hygiene, gale managed to outshine every single one of them in terms of beauty. “what’d i say? if i’m gonna bet on anything, i’m gonna bet on us. y’hear me?”

a shaky little exhale left gale’s mouth, pressing his face into john’s chest like a boy seeking comfort from his mom after a scary dream. john didn't say anything else, just held gale close as he sniffled and sobbed into his chest until he cried himself to sleep, soft snores leaving his pretty pink lips in soft little puffs.

he felt a surge of overprotectiveness wash over him as he watched the blonde sleep, curled into his body and clutching one of john’s hands close to his chest. he didn't need to feel sorry for himself anymore. he needed to be there for gale, so that he stopped carrying these burdens on his shoulders. they were a team, always have been. always will be. nothing in this godforsaken place could change that.

𓆩✧𓆪

john got up the next morning, careful not to disturb gale, who was still sound asleep next to him. he was on his side, almost completely curled up on himself with his thumb pressed against his lips, biting at it idly.

john smiled softly, eyes filled with a fondness for the blonde as he shuffled into his shoes, heading out into the daylight to grab some rations for the both of them.

last night was extremely sobering for him. he had spent so much time wallowing in his self hatred that he hadn't realized that his neglectful actions towards himself had been affecting gale in a negative way. when his friend came to him, crying and sobbing, worried for his wellbeing, insisting that he was the only thing that was worth fighting for anymore, he knew he had to get it together.

he went to the service counter and asked for two servings of food, saying that his friend was still asleep and that he would wake him up when he got back. who would lie for extra slop anyways?

he was given two plates, and he hurried back to his bunk, where a few of the other men began to stir awake, including gale.

“mornin, boys,” he said, setting down his two plates on the lightly cluttered table. “food’s gettin’ served up. go grab some.”

they all let out a noncommittal groan as he sat down at his bunk, digging into his mean of bland potatoes. it didn't taste any better than the last time he ate it, but he’ll be damned if he wasn't hungry.

gale sat up beside him, blinking the sleep from his eyes, which were slightly puffy from crying. his baby blue’s landed on john and widened as he saw him scarfing down the bland mush.

john smiled at him. “mornin’,”

“you're eating.” he said, voice quivering slightly.

he shrugged slightly, stirring the mush around absentmindedly. “got hungry. craved potatoes. you’ll never guess what the canteen was servin’.”

gale was on him in a matter of seconds, hugging him tightly and pressing his face into his shoulder. he was trembling, a shaky exhale leaving him as john set his plate down, returning the hug and smiling against his shoulder.

“thank you.” he whispered, voice so heart-wrenchingly vulnerable.

“don't count on it.”

𓆩✧𓆪

gale bunked with him for the next few nights, out of pure need for comfort and reassurance. he was obviously happy that bucky was eating again, but he was still stressed with all of the ongoings in the camp.

bucky had stepped in and gave a hand in training, instructing the men in what to do and how to do it, but there were just so many of them. on top of that, those german bastards were always waving their guns around, yelling at them whenever they felt like it. john had almost gotten into it with a few of them, but gale har talked him down.

what would he do without him?

“you need to be more careful when you talk to the guards.” gale said, idly smoothing down the fabric of john’s thin sleep shirt, which made john’s chest fill with warmth.

“to hell with those guards.” he muttered angrily, looking into gale’s eyes with a steely determination. “i just got my spirit back. i ain’t gonna let these nazi bastards destroy it again.”

“they'll shoot you, bucky.” gale said softly, looking up at him with a hard gaze. “zero hesitation. they've done it to other men before, and they’ll do it to you.”

“and then they’ll have a hell of a riot on their hands.” he laughs softly, which made gale sigh and press his forehead to his chest.

“why can't you just be good?”

the words caught john off guard, making his cheeks flush and his heartbeat kick up a notch. he felt his heartbeat pick up whenever gale was close to him like this, but it was a pace he had gotten used to, honestly. but hearing gale tell him to be good in a soft voice– as if he were speaking to a dog made his heartbeat kick up in another way entirely.

“uhm,” he started, face flushed a soft pink, hands finding gale’s waist and fidgeting with the hem of the blonde’s shirt. “i can– i can be good, i jus’...”

he was stumbling over his words painfully obviously. he was hoping that gale couldn't see the flush on his face in the darkness of the room, but knowing his luck he probably could.

“what's wrong?” gale asked softly, eyes lidded as his hands halted on john’s broad chest, thumb idly brushing across the fabric of his shirt in soothing little circles. “your heart is beating really hard.”

“nothin’.” he said, way too quickly for it to be true. “just. hot. i ‘unno.”

silence fell, save for the sounds of breathing from the men around them, and their own soft breathing. john really took in gale in this moment, how soft and vulnerable he looked.

his sleep shirt was loose on him, thanks to him losing weight in the camp over the months they’ve been here. his eyes were soft with sleep, lips pink and plump and parted with each little breath he took. god, he was gorgeous. he wanted nothing more than to take him on the bed right now, make him cry out his name so that everyone in the room knew who he belonged to.

he’d had these thoughts of gale since they met in basic training, but they had only gotten worse the longer they stayed in camp. back on base, he was able to keep his mind off of gale, or at least quell his desire by picking up some desperate broad in a bar and sleeping with her. but now, he looked at gale and could hardly keep his mind out of the gutter. he hated it.

“hot, huh?” gale chuckled softly, hands running up john’s chest and resting on his shoulders. “you're a bad liar when it comes to me, y’know that?”

john flushed darker, hands tightening on gale’s waist and pulling him closer, careful to keep their lower halves apart so that the blonde didn’t feel his erection through his shorts. “i’m not lying.”

“mhm?” the blonde chuckles, leaning closer to him, invading his space so that their noses touched, breath mingling together as they stared at one another tenderly, something more carnal and desirous underneath. “why're you hard then?”

bucky choked on a gasp, his face completely red to the point where he was sure gale could see it, even in the dark. their lower halves weren't touching, and yet, gale had known. read him like a book.

“how’d you–?”

“you have a thing you do,” he says, thumb rubbing at his collarbone gently. “you stumble over your words. start touchin’ things with your hands. fidgeting. sometimes it's more noticeable. its a lot less noticeable when you hit on girls at a bar, but i picked up on it.”

john huffed, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth and averting his eyes. he wasn't expecting gale to call him out so straightforwardly. it made him embarrassed. he also didn't expect gale to trail a hand down to the hem of his shorts, dipping his cool fingers inside and making john gasp sharply.

“want me to take care of it?”

“gale,” john hissed, eyes wide as the blonde’s nimble fingers trailed lower and lower, scratching at the wiry hair just above his hard cock. “our men are all around us. they might hear us.”

“then you'll have to be quiet, won’t you?”

a strangled noise left john’s throat as gale wrapped his thin fingers around his hot, hard length, giving a tentative squeeze. a shuddery breath left deep from bucky’s chest, his hands squeezing gale’s waist so hard he was bound to leave bruises.

“that good?” gale whispered, shuffling his boxers down and letting john’s cock free completely, swiping his thumb across the head and gathering the precum there so the friction of his hand was less harsh. bucky didn't have it in him to answer coherently, so he just nodded and bucked his hips upwards into gale’s touch.

it was intoxicating, the way his fingers occasionally caught under the sensitive head of his cock and made his cock jerk and leak even more, all over gale’s pretty hand.

“see? look at you.” the blonde cooed, eyes lidded and practically glowing as he gave a twist of his wrist on the upstroke, relishing in the little groans and gasps bucky let out. “you can be good for me, why can't you be good out there? i know you're a good boy, bucky. such a good dog.”

“jesus christ,” bucky swore, stomach tensing up and cock leaking into gale’s palm thickly, precum making the glide of his palm slicker. “i’m gunna cum- oh, god, buck–”

“shh,”

the blonde scolded him lightly, free hand moving to cover his mouth firmly as he jerked him off faster, the wet, slick noises coming from between them downright obscene. he felt like a girl getting laid in her bedroom, her parents right next door as her boyfriend fingered her so good she couldn't help but whine and whimper.

he didn't have time to warn gale as he shot off, thick ropes of his spend painting buck’s chest and stomach a pretty pearlescent white. when he pulled his shirt up, he didn't know.

he came down from his high, and found gale’s lips on his. he kissed back, gentle and hungry at the same time, like he wanted to devour gale whole. he pulled him close, choking out a gasp into the kiss as he felt gale’s erection press into his hip.

“buck,” he panted, letting the blonde thrust against him minutely, the little pleased noises he let out going straight to john’s spent cock, bringing it back to life. “lemme– lemme make you feel good.”

gale exhaled sharply, rolling his hips against him more desperately, now. “please.”

john flipped them over so fast that it gave them both whiplash for a moment. it was short lived, though as he was faced with the sight of gale’s hard cock straining at his boxers. john’s large hands spread the blonde’s thighs apart, tugging his boxers down his hips and letting his pretty pink cock spring free from its confines.

john was on him in an instant, licking at the clear bead of precum that gathered at the pretty pink head. gale gasped softly, his breath shaky and deep as john laved his dick in attention, running his hot tongue along the vein that adorned the underside, sucking at the tip, doing anything but taking it in his mouth yet– to enamored by the sweet little noises gale was making.

“john, please.” buck whimpered, voice soft and needy as he thrust upwards, cockhead sliding against bucky’s wet lips. “please,”

he begged so prettily. who was he to resist?

he finally took gale into his mouth in one go, nose nestled into a small thatch of blonde pubic hair just above his dick. gale bit back a moan, hands flying into john’s pretty curls, gripping them so hard that he was sure he ripped a few strands out. the sting made bucky moan around gale’s length, bobbing his head slowly.

he loved every little noise that left gale– the little gasps and quiet keens as he drooled around his cock, eyelashes fluttering as the tip of his cock nudged at the back of his throat. he wishes that he could hear gale at full volume, whining and begging for more– but they couldn't. not here.

“such a good mouth,” gale moaned, voice breathy and deep and so smooth to his ears, melting his brain as he pulled off his cock completely, licking at his dripping slit and collecting his precum with his tongue. “fuck, wish i could keep your mouth on me all day. keep you quiet. fuck–”

hearing gale cleven, straight edge, no gambling, hates sports gale cleven talking dirty to him like this sent shockwaves directly to his cock. he took him all the way back into his mouth, groaning deep in his throat as he ground against the rough sheets of the mattress, brows furrowed in concentration and pleasure as he took hold of gale’s slender hips. he felt so filthy, so needy and desperate for anything gale would give him, like a stray dog begging for food.

he wanted anything gale would give him. affection, hatred, love, loathing– he was hungry for all of it, for him. his cock was amazing on his tongue, hot and heavy and velvety, leaking in copious amounts down his throat as he swallowed every last drop of him. he could feel gale spasm in his throat, close to orgasm, and he found himself feeling greedier by the second.

“jesus christ,” buck gasped, hips lifting from the mattress, hand tightening in john’s curls, pulling him down onto his length frantically as his stomach began to spasm and tense up. “i’m– i’m gonna– john–”

his throat was flooded with gale’s spend, and he worked his throat around his sensitive cock dutifully as he swallowed it all. it was the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted, it made him hot, it made his brain melt, it made him needy for more–

he felt his cock spill against the sheets, a small whimper caught in his throat as he rode out his orgasm.

when he came to, he was aware of gale whimpering from overstimulation as he absentmindedly suckled at his cock.

“john, please,” he whined, trying to pull free. “enough.”

bucky pulled off, cheek resting on his thigh stickily. they were both panting, faces flushed and eyes glossy with aroused tears. they locked eyes, and john couldn't help the surge of emotion that overcame him as he shot up, capturing gale’s lips in a soft kiss. at this moment, everything felt like it would be okay.

“we should clean up,” gale mumbled against his lips, panting softly. “made a mess.”

“yeah,” john agreed, kissing him again, quicker this time. “think we can score new sheets?”

“we can jus’ move to my bunk for now. toss these sheets aside for morning laundry.” gale hummed, yawning softly and rubbing at his eyes like a sleepy little kid. how he could be so goddamn cute after doing something so filthy was beyond him.

“alright,” john hummed, watching as gale tucked himself into his boxers. “lemme wipe ya down first.”

john untucked a corner of the bedsheets, using them to wipe at gale’s cum stained torso gently, gale squirmed under the attention slightly, blushing at the way john was looking at him, full of love and reverence, like he hung the sun and the stars himself.

once he'd finished, he let gale stand and move back to his bunk, allowing john to rid his bed of the stained sheets and toss them aside for laundry. he'd find an excuse later.

he made his way to gale’s bunk, reversing the roles and cuddling up to gale, nuzzling into his neck and sighing deeply. gale smiled softly, hand carding through his hair gently.

“next time, we’ll try to make less of a mess,” he mumbled, voice deep with sleep as he pulled john closer.

“next time, huh? you fantasizing about it already?”

buck rolled his eyes, and bucky didn't miss the faint flush on his cheeks.

“i’m just saying. it’ll be nicer. maybe it’ll be in a proper bed, without all these people around. just the two of us, in our own bed,” he mumbled, eyes drifting shut. “just us, bucky.”

“buck–”

he didn't get to ask what he meant. he had already fallen asleep, snoring softly into the darkness of the room. buck went silent, pressing his ear to buck’s chest and listening to his steady heartbeat as he mulled over his words. his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest.

maybe they would get out of here. if it meant he and buck would have a promising life together, he would be damned if he died in one of these godforsaken camps.

he would make it. for them.

taglist: @mooodyblue @lauvmyself @kaiistheguy @slowsweetlove

#mota #gale #john #buck x bucky #masters of the air #masters of the air fanfic #john egan #gale cleven #hbo war #clegan #eganven #curt biddick

[bronx-bomber87]

First off thank you much for the lovely response to my last thoughts. I was very nervous about posting and got a lot of good replies, notes and reblogs. This fandom is the best. I think it's important to see both sides and I wanted Tim's to be represented in a way that gave insight without condoning what he'd done. (Cause our boy done messed up.) So giving a little of myself achieved that I believe.

I didn't know a ton about this ep cause I’m a square who stays away from spoilers haha So let’s get started.

6x08 Punch Card

Ugh my heart Tim got a reminder for Lucy’s Bday. Instant heart stomping already….I love that he had a reminder set up though. Making sure he would't forget. I’m crying already. Even though I'm so very sad. I love that he had this setup. When the elevator opens the amount of tension is palpable. Something felt very wrong. Good thing Tim was lost in his Lucy moment or he would've picked up on this sooner.

Poor Tim just wants to explain himself to Mad Dog. To explain what happened. The man is not in a place to receive it and we see later why. That look said it all though when Mad Dog departs. When Dr. London said she just took the wrong elevator my red flag gut was going off.

Now that I've see the episode as a whole I can see Dr. London's play here. She seems to use flirting as a defense mechanism all her own. To protect herself and manipulate those around her. I mean they brought her flirt fest with Aaron in the recap back for a reason I think. She's worried Tim read into something about her interaction with Mad Dog. I mean Tim is clearly upset about seeing him and she uses that to deflect attention off herself. My off meter definitely was kicking on with her. Especially with how flirty she was being I didn't like it.

Now some may see Tim's response as him flirting back but I think he's investigating her. Also he's being a little sassy because he's not comfortable with her doing therapy outside the office. I mean his face when he leaves that elevator is not of a man who just flirted. It's one who is one still hurting and two his cop gut is going off but he isn't sure why....He seems conflicted by what just went down in that elevator. Just like us he was feeling off about her.

This scene was very cute with Grey. I loved him anointing her to be a T.O. LOL Also once again showing the faith he has in Lucy. To train Celina and know she would do a good job. I was excited for this opportunity for her. For her to tap into leadership. Honestly it shouldn't have taken this long for Lucy to get to show her chops with this.

Tim is so busy trying to delete his Lucy reminder he runs into the physical version of it without realizing. Andddddd it’s still awkward af between them. How could It not be? No communication between them so naturally it is. Stilted awkwardness. Lucy got out of there so fast. Even with Tim making the all powerful joke. Trying to make it less awkward. Ow. Couldn't get away fast enough. The way he watches her go. *sigh* Like he's watching his entire heart depart the room.

This hurts you guys. No matter how much I know it’ll be ok at some point this hurts to watch. Grey not pulling any punches noting how very awkward that was. Tim telling him that's actually better than it's been....Makes me wonder how much time has passed between 6x07 and now. Wade not caring that's progress to Tim. He is not messing around....

Just wants Tim to fix is ASAP cause of the team dynamic. He's not wrong. Man isn't wrong. Rarely if ever is. Saying if Tim can't there’s gonna be a transfer and it won’t be Lucy….I mean I LOVE Grey siding with Lucy on this one. Not a doubt in his mind if it shakes out that way it'll be Tim. That being said just hearing that. Ugh. Deep anxiety pit of my stomach. And of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since S2. Looming over them ready to take one of them away.

Lucy being Celina’s T.O .for the day I love it. She is so excited to be her leader even if it's just for this shift. Just wants to 'Invest in her success.' You know Lucy's leadership is pretty damn identical to how I am with my team. While I am mostly Tim there are pieces of Lucy in me as well. I related to her style of leadership quite a bit.

Aaron and Tim in the surveillance van is hilarious. Their dynamic has always entertained me. I truly adore these two goobers together. Tim is trying so hard to keep his shit together. Aaron dying of ask him if he finds it hard to surveil his old team for an OP? Tim of course gives him the company line. Doing what he is told without complaint. Pulling out some S1 Tim with that reply my love.

Tim then telling him he needs a stronger deodorant LOL It's too funny. What a boring assignment for them both. Tim went from running that entire team. Doing ops and making decisions on the fly to this….Also Aaron being too distracted by his deodorant comment to pay attention is the most Aaron thing ever haha

What I love the most about Lucy with Celina is her correcting without crushing her confidence. Once again reminding me of myself when I'm correcting my work kids on stuff. She is kind but confident in her assessment of what she did wrong in this moment. Celina receiving it well because she handles it this way. Lucy out here crushing it already with zero T.O. training. Just going off instinct and what she would want if she was a newbie still. Once again her and I very alike.

Oh Tim getting that reminder again. *heart clutch.* Sigh my boy. Aaron offering to turn it off for him. I love that he was gonna have it remind him through out the day. Pre-breakup Tim clearly didn't want to forget. Wanted to make sure he not only knew it was but to make sure to make a big deal of it. That's just an assumption on my part but man would've wanted to do that. it's the way he has 'TOMORROW.' Wanting to make sure he didn't forget such an important day. *screams into a pillow.* Aaron asking if he’s gonna get her anything? I’m sure he had stuff in mind. But yeah bad form indeed…

Tim’s sweet smile when he finds out what Aaron got her. Knowing how perfect of a gift that would be for her. That sweet knowing smile makes me wanna weep a bit. He knows his girl so well. Lot of sadness attached to the smile though. 'Can I ask why ya’ll split up?' 'No.' LMAO Took it too far Aaron....You're lucky you got that much good sir.

This scene with Mad Dog hurt my heart for Tim. No matter how wrong he was for what he did I still hate seeing this. This was what I was worried about with him working with Metro. Picking at the wounds he hasn’t even begun to heal about how he left. I knew him making notes on the OP was going to come back and bite him in the ass. Watching all his repercussions is painful to see I have to say. Knowing what we know about Mad Dog later I think that's part of why he goes off on Tim. Doesn't make it any easier to watch though...

Friggin Love Lucy being a BAMF in this episode. Especially in this moment. When she once again corrects but doesn't crush Celina about her gun. It's the way she guides Celina and has control over every situation they encounter in this ep. Proving herself a worthy teacher and leader. Also she was a better teacher to Celina in one episode than Nolan has been her entire career. Dude is a stinker of a T.O. It shows in how Celina makes basic mistakes Lucy had down pat long before this time in her rookie year.

Too bad Lucy can't finish out her training and Nolan is booted. But that'll never happen nothing sticks to that man. Not since S3 premiere. The rules and repercussions are rubber and he's glue. What doesn't stick to him does to everyone else... Grey should really evaluate his teaching skills. But that'll never happen. But she deserves a better teacher than him.

From the minute Tim entered the room something seemed very wrong. From the way Mad Dog was just expecting Tim to flog him. Like he wanted Tim to ream him out for how the OP went down. Also how Mad Dog seemed nervous af to see Dr London. I mean look at that man above. He is scared shitless she is there to see him. The way he watches her though out the scene. Especially when she leaves.

Tim's cop gut is going off like crazy when she enters the room. Wondering how the hell she even know about this? He seems to take her answer at face value because honestly its pretty good considering it's a bold faced lie. Tim once again feeling like something is very off but isn't sure why.

First let me say once again I feel personally attacked by the choice in song once again. lol I couldn't find the song to save my life. The lyrics are *chef kiss.* They're painfully accurate for them both. Think they've been very intentional with their ending music and just in general this season. These lyrics filled me with some hope as well. Jotted down the lyrics since couldn't find the song.

‘When the sun won’t shine and the words don’t rhyme. And there’s mountains you can’t move. Somethings on your mind and it’s been some time-since you felt like you were you. When it all caves in feeling paper thin. And the pain might cut right through.

Oh child, Lift up your head. All this trouble's only gonna last for awhile.’ Yeah we’re gonna be all right oh child. Lift up your head. And the light's gonna find you. When you feel like you ain’t got a friend. And you’re wondering if you ever gonna smile again. Every little thing gonna be ok. I know that you gonna see better days.’ *heart clutch.*

Damn smart of Tim saying happy birthday from Kojo and not him. I’m not crying you are. This was so so sweet. Lucy's reaction to Kojo got me all in my feels. She's so excited to see him. Then that excitement melts into sadness. Because he's an extension of Tim. The way she pet's him and says how much she misses him ugh.

Seems there is a double meaning going on there. We all know despite the hurt how much she misses her person. Tim just standing there only imagining her reaction when Kojo makes his way back. What a way to bring that sweet boy back in. I'm so happy about it. Tim is respecting her space but couldn’t let her bday go without doing something. Had to let her know her was thinking of her still. The fact that it’s happening in the hallway where so many seminal moments have played out for them.... I wanna cry.

I LOVE that Tim got Kojo to put his little paw in ink for the card. It is so sweet. Their fur baby. He put serious thought and effort into this. This was so well done. Only Melissa and Eric could have chemistry without even seeing each other. This is the first time we've really seen Lucy cry about them. 6x06 she was in complete shock. 6x07 was her processing her thoughts/emotions. She was on the verge of tears but we didn't see her cry. This was first time we've seen her shed tears on screen at least since the break up. Wanna hug her so much. She deserved this card and more. Like a real conversation with him but this is a good start.

She knows this is Tim reaching out without physically doing so. Showing her he still cares. I mean he clearly very much does. You don't put thought and effort in like this if you don't. It's a huge thing for him to do right now. Lucy recognizes the effort in this adorable act. Tim's face after she reads the card. Ripping my damn heart out. The absolute regret splayed all over it. Like it’s finally hitting him what he’s done to her. What he’s lost in the process. He gave up his favorite person. His happy place and just it’s hitting him square in his chest.

Like a freight train that’s run him over. It's the way he shakes his head. Kicking himself. Knowing he hastily threw them away. What a mistake he’s made in his irrational decision making. It’s written all over his beautiful face. He may not fully understand yet why he did it but the regret is evident. Eric be killing me. His face screams all that. Knowing he should’ve been with Lucy for her birthday. Hell probably sharing that bath bomb she brought up with her. Killing me softly. Hurts so good. Damnit writers... This is being handled so well though. So hats off to them. They both needed this moment more than either of them knew.

Mad dog killing himself....jesus H Christ. Poor Tim the last thing he needs is this. It explains why he was extra nasty to Tim though. Tim saw the flaw in his play and freaked the hell out. Also for Tim to see someone he once trusted with his life compromise themselves. Compromise the safety of their own men. Gut punch. And for what? Money? Power? We won't know till more of this unravels. Whatever it is won't be for a good reason. I know Tim hates himself for his mistakes. But those mistakes always had some form of honor attached to them.

He may not see that but I do. Now the op where he got his men killed no but what he did after was honorable. What he did for Mitch came from a honorable place. I just wonder how seeing Mad Dog doing something so very un-honorable is gonna affect him moving forward...Oh my lord I’m so mad about Dr London not because I liked her. But because I didn’t want it to derail Tim’s therapy in any way. The man needs it. Here’s hoping he continues in s7 with someone better.

Everyone was right she’s a dirty birdy. I was just hoping she wouldn’t be. But my ick and uncomfortable factor went WAY up in this ep with her. I knew it was inevitable. It's not that I didn't want to be wrong about her. It's the fact I didn't want this to hurt Aaron and I definitely I didn’t want her to be dirty for Tim that was it. For his therapy and the progress he's made. I hope this doesn’t affect his therapy journey and he can find someone not compromised in S7.

That promo for next week oh my lord….the hug! The hug! "This doesn't change anything." Then pulls him right in like nothing's changed. I will be living there from now on. Or until next week lol Love the Finale being a 2 parter as well. Phew this is gonna be an intense ending to this season. Gonna be chomping at the bit for S7 once it's done I know it. Like the song stated we're gonna see better days. I truly believe that. We got this my lovely fandom. Thank you for always being so wonderfully receptive of these reviews. Appreciate any likes, comments or reblogs that come my way.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela shooting Monica down with Wesley. She's an Epic Queen and I adore her.

Dr London is in alliance with Monica. That's super great….cool cool cool……I have a feeling and D and I discussed this earlier. Reminds us of Armstrong. This feels more like a she's been forced into it a situation. Because its obvious she's good at her job.

But the way she freaked out about the cops being hurt clearly shook her. She looked on the verge of tears in Mad Dog's room. So do I think she's a bad person? Unsure at the moment. Do I think she was once a good person who was manipulated into whatever this alliance is? I do. Be interesting to see how her SL unfolds.

#Caitlin's Mini reviews #chenford #s6 #6x08 Punch Card #the rookie 6x08 #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #tim bradford #lucy chen #eric winter #melissa o'neil #otp: doing my job #otp: unless it is

[whynotjohnlock]

Doctor who incorrect quotes!

AAaAaaAhHhhHhH! I'm trapped in a cycle where I need some comfort so I watch this man child do silly things for 45 minutes but every episode I end up in tears because some I'm attached to Dies, so I need more comfort from doctor who but then my hearts get ripped out again so I start watching more Doctor who and then-

Here's some dumb stuff to brighten your day!

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The Doctor: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!

(Y/N): Okay, can you do the dishes?

The Doctor: No!

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The Doctor: Do not test me (Y/N)! I am the last timelord-

(Y/N): What about Ranni and the Master and literally like every 10 adventures where they just randomly appear? Not to mention all the other versions of yourself you seem to keep running into.

The Doctor: I've killed thousands of innocent beings and creatures and-

(Y/N): Haven't we all stepped on an ant pile or on grass before?

The Doctor: (Y/N), we are not the same I've lived for hundreds of years-

(Y/N): Isn't that a perfectly normal age for a Timelord? Hundreds of years only sounds impressive because I'm human.

The Doctor: You will wither and die and I will have to live on alone-

(Y/N): Do you not consider the TARDIS company? Isn't she literally sentient?

The Doctor: .......

The Doctor: *grumpily stomps in the TARDIS*

The Doctor: I need a dumber companion next time.

----------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor: Bowties are cool!

Y/N: *confused* I never said there weren't...?

The Doctor: oh I know, I just like saying that.

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Y/N: *Throwing they apples into space out the TARDIS doors* Bad Apples! Kill them with fire!

The Doctor: what did the apples ever do to you?

Y/N: Remember that one time I broke my leg and couldn't go adventureing with you?

The Doctor: what does that have to do with anything?

Y/N: I broke my leg because I tripped over an apple. I just realized the ancient earth prophecy is true. 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away' and I need to destroy them all now.

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Child: What’s it like being tall?

Child: Is it nice?

Child: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

The Doctor: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 3 chairs, 6 boxes, a small coffee table and 4 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Y/N: It was one time!

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Companion: *Calling Y/N* where is The Doctor, Y/N?

Y/N: sorry, the doctor has the zoomies right now, whatever it is, they can't help you.

Companion: The "Zoomies"?

The Doctor: *Spinning on chair quickly after chugging soy sauce while making incoherent dinosaur noises*

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Missy: Hey, do you know where (Y/N) is?

The Doctor: Why, so you can kidnap them again? That's never going to happen-

Missy: No, I would never waste time kidnapping Y/N again, they are too much fun for that. I want to have a girl's trip out with them. Actually is (Y/N) a girl? I can never tell what humans think gender is defined as.

The Doctor: actually, I don't really know either.

Y/N: *points at the TARDIS covered entirely by rainbow glitter* you should know by now doctor that I Identify as a fucking menace.

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The Doctor: Daleks are the most evil beings of pure hate and are not to be trifled with under any circumstances.

Y/N: *Bursts out in laughter*

Doctor: Y/N, that's not funny!

Y/N: *still laughing* It can't even get up the stairs. OH FeAr tHE MigHtY dAlEk EmPIrE, FeLleD bY a SLiGht iNcliNE!

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The Doctor: I hate your existence and will make sure your parents never meet, Y/N. I will find your friends and make them hate you!

The Doctor: Don't you dare!

Y/N: Uno!

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Y/N: Nock Nock.

Doctor: fine I know this is going to be bad but Who's there?

Y/N:*Trying not to laugh*Doctor.

Doctor: *Rolls his eyes*Doctor who?

Y/N: Exterminate! Exterminate!

Doctor: That joke was terrible, Y/N.

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Y/N: How many time lords does it take to check if it's safe to go outside the TARDIS?

Doctor: I don't know.

Y/N: me neither because you've never fucking done it.

---------------------------------------------------------

The Cybermen: *Starts trying to connect Y/N's thoughts to upgrade them*

Y/N: *Gives them a tuor of their mind*

Y/N: on your left you can see the mental fuckery that is my everyday thought process.

Y/N: in front of you is every single weird reference from all media I have consumed in no order whatsoever.

Y/N: Oh, on your left is a real life coherent thoght! That's impressive, I thought all of them had died with that time I ate half of a computer.

Y/N: Oh, I want you to meet my friends! That's anxiety, hiding just around the corner is depression. Oh, and here's my BFF self doubt!

Doctor: Y/N, how did you stall in your mind for so long? I thought I wouldn't be quick enough to save you! How... *Looks around*

Doctor:

Doctor: you need therapy.

Y/N: I need therapy.

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Jack: Hey, Just wanted to check in on my favorite couple.

Y/N: We're not a couple!

Doctor: Yes we are Y/N! How could you honestly forget our night underneath the singing trees on €en§πß where I proposed to you?

Jack: Well congrats on-

Y/N: I was with Missy, who the FUCK did you propose too?

Doctor: wait, what were you doing with Missy?

Jack: *Munchies on popcorn*

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#doctor who #doctor x reader #gender neutral reader #10th doctor #12th doctor #doctor who x male reader #tenth doctor #11th doctor #eleventh doctor #the doctor x reader #twelth doctor #the doctor #tenth doctor x reader #dr who #doctor who x reader #doctor who x you

[damn-stark]

Chapter 38 Les

Chapter 38 of Sugar

A/N- I hope you guys like it hehe (I wrote this whilst studying for my PTCB:)

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, fludd, violence and blood, talks of DEATH, Sukuna, SPOILERS!!!! long chapter!

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Episode and or chapters- Chapter 253-254

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

*CHOSO’S P.O.V*

There you were, frozen in time, beautiful and radiant as if you were the sun itself. Flashing a flattering smile that could make anyone fall in love with you, in designer clothes he had no idea how much they’re worth or who they’re made by, but with the eyes of a stranger.

You've mentioned multiple times how your eyes changed the day your technique was fully awakened within you and completely erased the person you once were. It happened years before he and you met so seeing a reflection of this old person is completely strange to him. Yet fascinating.

“Hey, I didn’t know she had a billboard out,” Yuji points out as he falls by Choso’s side and looks at a large billboard of you.

“It’s a birthday gift from Hakari and Kirara. They had 28 put up in some cities I don’t remember,” Choso lets him know, making Yuji mumble something he doesn’t catch because of the loud thoughts racing in his mind.

Thoughts he can’t keep inside. “Would it be selfish to say I want to forbid her from danger? Even if she is strong?”

“Hm?” Yuji hums and blinks to look away from the billboard and instead look at his older brother.

Choso slowly reaches for the image of you as he imagines it's actually you before him. “I lost two brothers already. I don’t want to lose her too.”

There’s many things Yuji can say to comfort his brother, all of which sound the same, but could all be lies. You aren’t fighting some common sorcerer, you’re fighting the King of Curses so he can’t guarantee you’re survival, but how can he just watch his only brother suffer when said brother does everything to make him feel reassured when he needs it.

“She’s strong, she’ll survive. And Sukuna has been hurt she won’t die.”

Choso presses his fingers against the cold billboard and sighs. “I look at her and all I see is my future. Since the moment I laid my eyes on her in that capsule. It was an innocent admiration then, but it flourished and now the mere thought of living my life without her horrifies me,” Choso pours his heart and relieves his mind of the tension the rushing thoughts brought.

“Yet,” he talks quieter and with an obvious lump of different emotions stuck in his throat. “I still let her fight. I still watch her and say goodbye. So would it be selfish if I kept her away from danger so I don’t lose my future and everything that’s beautiful?”

Yuji drifts his gaze back to your billboard and doesn’t hide the truth. “I’ve never loved anyone the way you love her, but yes it would be selfish. Sharing your desires and fears isn’t what’s selfish, but doing that against her will would be.”

For the first time since they came across the billboard, Choso drops his gaze and mulls over the wise thing his little brother just told him.

“You’re wise,” Choso compliments Yuji with a faint but proud smile.

Yuji, albeit, wonders if he should be offended that his brother didn’t think he was wise before or touched by such a heartwarming compliment.

“But,” Choso interjects and brings his gaze back to the image of you. “I hope you’re right.”

Yuji watches his brother and thinks back to the moment he was feeling your belly and keeping you within arm's reach. He thinks that it was such a sweet moment, and one he wants Choso to not repeat in the sense that he doesn’t want his brother to hold onto you out of fear he’ll lose you, he wants his older brother to just make more precious memories of his precious life with you.

He deserves it, Yuji thinks. Choso deserves a precious human life.

“I trust her, I know she'll fight hard to stay alive,” Yuji adds one last assuring thing before he walks to his brother to pat his shoulder before leaving the billboard behind.

Choso lingers behind though, and brings his hand down to take his phone out and watch the broadcast, hoping he’ll catch a glimpse of you. But all he’s welcomed with is more worry as all he sees is your domain still hovering above ground.

——

*YOU*

Sharp and violent winds thrash violently, constricting the ability to breathe, robbing the sense of sound with roaring gusts that pull blood out of his ears, and bringing a terrorizing darkness that could make anyone believe they're nowhere, that they are nothing until suddenly bright and hot flames erupt from the ground and tangle with the gusts of wind spinning around you and the beast enclosed with you.

Water accompanies you too, the humidity sticks to your skin and puddles around your feet. As the fire births light to the domain, you can see wet gleaming walls towering over the tornado like never-ending walls.

To any normal sorcerer or non-sorcerer, the plummet in the air pressure alone would’ve killed them, but Sukuna is no normal being, it’s why he’s the King of Curses.

“I knew you wouldn’t die,” you mumble to yourself and notice two of his hands stuck in the Hollow Wicker Basket hand sign, protecting him from your domain.

Or so he thinks it’s what will protect him. Your winds are strong, they can—could break through…Satoru’s infinity and scratch him.

“You’d be stupid to believe this would kill me,” he barks back.

You roll your eyes and put your hands on your hips to snap back. “That’s why I said I knew you wouldn’t. Whatever, can’t you feel it?” You point out the scratch mark that slashes across his cheek as gusts of wind sneak through his barrier.

One of Sukuna’s eyes drop and spot a trickle of blood running out of the scratch. Yet instead of countering, or reacting with frustration, Sukuna smirks and flashes it at you. “You know,” he drags out with that smirk still tugged on his lips. “For a woman, you really caught me by surprise. I commend you.”

Commend?

You always forget he’s ancient.

“You are not so terrible to look at it either, I’ll enjoy eating you after.”

At least he didn’t underestimate you. That’s actually surprising considering how old he is. Which actually makes this fight a little less exhilarating, you like to prove people wrong.

But oh well, you’ll still have fun. It’s been a while since you’ve used your domain, so why don’t you show off? And since you can’t use the sweet revenge of death against him, you’ll show the King of curses pain. Pain for breaking your heart and robbing what was precious to you.

Nanako, Mimiko…Satoru.

Today at this moment, in this fight, he will pay for what he did, he will pay for stealing their lives. He will feel your pain still atonginzimg your heart, and the anger coursing through your blood and casting your arms on fire born from flames burning within you.

Sukuna’s smirk widens to an amused grin, only turning his already intimidating face, actually horrifying. But you don’t let him affect you, your glare seethes with anger and heartbreak as you throw your fist up and rip the piece of the earth that he stands on to hurl it in the air on purpose.

Sukuna figures that out, but you blast off after him with one hand already reaching for his neck. He smirks and turns his arm to throw a slash at you, but this is your domain. Yours! Not his. He doesn’t have unlimited access to the elements, you do, so you drop the support of the air blasting you in the sky and let gravity pull you down to avoid being slashed.

“Tsk,” Sukuna still expresses with amusement and uses the air to make space between you while also fighting the tornado's grip aching to pull him in to tangle with its violent winds.

Nonetheless, it’s like you said, this is your domain, so you catch him off guard by bursting water through the spinning walls in the form of your giant hand, causing Sukuna’s eyes to slowly narrow as he watches how the water-made hand grows several feet high with no limitation. His eyes then drop to meet yours and he catches a cocky smirk playing on your face that ticks him off but also doesn’t fail to amuse him.

However, that amusement is all too quickly wiped off his face when the hand swings down and flings him in the tornado. You don’t fail to follow after him, knowing the winds won’t cut you, or constrict air from reaching your lungs, and your anti-domain barrier won’t shatter. Sukuna on the other hand, no matter how strong he can’t escape needing to breathe. The winds travel so fast and the air pressure runs so high that he has to heave to breathe. And that barrier?

That barrier begins to crack no matter how hard he fights to keep it up, letting you use this falter to lunge at him and manage to slap your hands on his face.

From this close Sukuna can see how glossy your eyes are, he can see the aching pain in your eyes, and the fury within the fires lit in them. If only you were strong enough to actually kill him at that moment, but you leave one thing unaccounted for; he can still slash you using his hands. All he needs is his consciousness and you didn’t take that.

Thus as your palms burn on his skin, and you begin to open your mouth to hurt your throat to blast fire out at his face, he grips onto your side.

You feel his cold hand slap on your body. When you look down you realize at that moment what he's seconds away from doing, and who he could hurt as an outcome, so you quickly let his face go, and kick him back to push yourself out of the spinning winds of the tornado before he could tear your torso apart.

When you land back on solid ground, he manages to pull himself out of the tornado's grip and lands on the ground across from you with a reaction you weren’t expecting. “Your children should be proud to have such a ferocious mother. Not every mother's rage would burn as hot.”

He’s complimenting you. He’s not looking at you with ill intent, or cursing you for getting the upper hand. It terrifies you.

“What you should know though,” he mutters with a hardening stare. “I can play with fire too.”

You nervously clench your jaw and take a step back as you choose to let the tornado go and be left surrounded by just the marvelous walls of water.

Your flames probably can’t kill him, but they can hurt him, and him not healing his demon eyes you burnt proves that.

His flames could potentially kill you depending on how hot they burn and no matter how much you protect yourself against them, but being trapped in your domain can be a good countermeasure, you have unlimited power of your elements, and you can put up a good fight! Countering him will burn up a lot more of your cursed energy, but that doesn’t matter, not with him, not now when you can taste a hopeful end. And it especially doesn’t matter with your pain.

He stands there taunting you, reminding you of all he took. How can you not give him all you got? You’re strong!

You’re not a young and helpless girl who broke a sweat lifting rocks. You’re strong, you're powerful, and you’re vengeful!

Alas, just as you prepare to counter a fire attack from him, he crouches down hastily and slaps his hand on the ground, and mutters, “Spider-web.”

Your eyes widen and just as you prepare to deflect, the ground rumbles beneath you before suddenly it all shatters, leaving you unbalanced and open.

Or so he thinks.

Just as he prepares to find a way out of your domain, the debris is blasted up by wild flames that shoot from the ground beneath you, before suddenly giant fire-made fingers grab the edge of the ground.

The debris Sukuna made finds its way to form around the fire-made hands, while other pieces fall inside the gap and form around a head that rises out of the gap, followed by a woman figure.

When the fire-made woman stands in all her glory, Sukuna notices that the figure reflects you.

Nevertheless, he still finds your gaze between the gap of the figure's legs and flashes an all too menacing glare. But you don’t let that deadly look rattle you, you harden your glare and counter his threat.

“The last person who competed with my fire died,” Sukuna’s voice echoes throughout your domain. “Let’s see how long you remain standing, Gojo.”

You choose to stop waiting and use the figure towering before you to bring a rock-wrapped fist down in an attempt to crush Sukuna. But he of course manages to hold back the giant fist with his impressive strength, using two hands, and leaving one that he can’t use to put up a barrier so he's left him vulnerable.

Thus you use the other giant hand, but first drop the rocks protecting the fire, leaving a bare and bright fire-made hand.

Without a doubt from the corner of his eyes, Sukuna catches your intentions and uses ‘Spider-Web’ again to shatter the rock layer wrapped around the fire-made hand he's holding, before hurling himself back to make distance.

But not enough. He’s still in reach of your fire-made hands. You can hurt him again, even a little is enough.

You’ll show him pain…

And with that fueling your adrenaline, you form both of the fire-made hands into blades and quickly swing at Sukuna.

Albeit you meet his gaze between the gap of your figure's legs and don’t see him trying to counter with fire. Through the roaring of fire, you hear one word that drops your heart to your stomach.

“Dismantle.”

Sukuna flashes you a faint smirk, and as the fire blades swing, long and tall slashes formed like a net come barreling at you, bringing with them your fate with no escape or miraculous survival. And if you died now what would be the point? What have you done besides take his demon eyes?

Nothing. And you made promises, you have Satori waiting for you, you won’t let Sukuna make her an orphan.

Hence with a heavy heart, you dismantle your domain, making everything within disappear along with it, only leaving you, your opponent, and the net of slashes threatening you to meet the same fate as Kashimo.

However, you have an advantage, a gift he didn’t.

“Cursed technique; fire serpent,” you announce and throw your hands out to cast off the head of the fire-serpent that quickly blasts its deadly flames, and barely manages to protect you against the slashes that could’ve killed you, leaving you face to face against Sukuna without the advantage of your domain, but with fire standing tall between you, bringing you a menacing demeanor as you hold Sukuna’s gaze through the flames.

“Standing a little too tall?” He doesn’t ask, he says it in an almost teasing tone.

You hold his gaze even if it feels like if you stare any longer he’ll just somehow kill you.

“What is a King to a God?” You retort.

Sukuna’s head tilts slightly and his eyes snap down and quickly come back up to your face. “If only Nanako and Mimiko had your confidence. Maybe then they’d be alive.”

Nanako and Mimiko, why does he keep saying their names as if he knew them? Him? Their killer.

Why does he keep looking at you like he’s expecting something, does he want to see you over-exceed yourself? Trick you like he did moments ago when he made you believe he’d fight with his fire so you could drop your domain?

Is saying their names some game to him?

It’s not to you.

Why did he kill them? They just wanted Suguru back. Why?

You want to ask. You need to ask.

“Why?” You ask with an anger that keeps building up. “Why did you kill them? They were just girls.”

“Hm?” He hums and tilts his head with an unsatisfied look. “Why not? I was bored and they thought they could ask me for something. You should’ve taught them respect. Tsk.” He shakes his head playfully, triggering your anger to explode, making you clench your jaw, and letting tears run down your cheeks while you dig your heels on the ground, and expand your cursed energy below the ground to connect to the water flowing below.

You also remember them, Nanako, and Mimiko. Their beautiful faces, their faces when they were little girls relieved to be out of the cages they were kept in. You see their smiles and all you want is your girls back. You want your brother back.

But it’s impossible. Sukuna made it impossible to see them again and now he makes jokes out of them.

He’ll hurt…

Thus using your cursed technique, you summon water to explode out of the ground around you, whilst turning off the fire dancing in front of you, and grow the water intimidatingly big as if you had summoned a deadly tsunami.

And even if holding it up weighs you down, you spin it around you so it can grow taller behind you before you blast it at him like a crashing wave, making sure to mix chunks of the ground with it, and not waiting to see if he was hurled back or came out unscathed before you use your speed and zoom forward through the thick body of water, hoping to catch him by surprise,.

Yet when the water falls, he’s no longer where he stood, instead, mere seconds later his shadow casts on the ground, making your eyes widen whilst you spin around and swing your hand back that you bask with fire-built blades.

However, Sukuna is quick, he catches your wrist with one of his big hands, not caring if the fire burns his skin. He then stares at you with beads of water rolling down his forehead before suddenly bringing his other hand up and wrapping it around your throat.

He sees the worm cursed spirit around your neck and tries to grab it but it turns itself small before it can be caught and hides in your pocket, leaving Sukuna to focus back on you and slam you into the ground, causing you to see a glimpse of darkness that was filled with dancing stars.

“So flamboyant, just like your brother,” he sneers. “You’re starting to annoy me.”

At the mention of your brother, you find the strength to throw your legs around his arm and tilt your head down to chomp down on his hand.

“Wha—”

Before he can finish, fire comes out of your mouth, burning your throat and roasting his hand—not like he cared though because he follows by picking you up and slamming you back into the ground multiple times, hoping you’d slip and not protect yourself, but you do and counter back by using your leg and directing gusts of wind to hit him with an uppercut on his chin.

This makes him drop your throat, but you don’t have to appreciate how relieving it feels to breathe properly, you use the wind to spin up and have the upper ground. Sukuna spots you right away and doesn’t come up after you, he claps his hands together, telling you one thing; he’s gonna use Piercing blood.

Hm.

Thanks to seeing Choso do it, you clap your hands together and have fire seep out of your hands and surround them. When you catch Sukuna’s blood arrow departing from his grip, you shoot the fire-made arrow out at the same time.

Once both arrows collide the fire breaks the blood apart and now targets Sukuna, but he moves, so you quickly mirror Choso’s move by making the arrow trail after your opponent.

Sukuna evades your arrow too well though and hurls up a sharp slash that you barely avoid by snapping your head to the side. He then quickly charges at you to overwhelm you and not leave you time to think of a smart counter-measure, but…you’re no teenage kid getting the grasp of your cursed technique and every dangerous attack your world has to offer, you've been taught well, you’ve been pushed, and you learned to not be a weak link.

You can be a monster too. Your hearts hardened once too.

It’s why you collect all the wind in the sky, making thick and dark clouds that cast the city in darkness. You bring the water up that you recently used and summon out more to shoot up and twist with the cyclone of wind. The earth sitting below trembles before chunks fly up and tangle with the growing twister. Lastly, you throw your arms out and use every ounce of strength you have to create fire from within and throw it out to mix with the other spinning elements.

You said he’ll know pain. You said he’ll hurt, so even if all four elements weigh you down and burn through your energy, strength, and cursed energy, you bring down the spinning cyclone on Sukuna before he can reach you, forcing him to slam into the ground.

You then stop using the wind to your advantage on land on stable ground to feed the cyclone with a mother's rage, and a sister's grief. Tears cloud your eyes before spilling out and streaming down the curve of your cheeks. It all weighs down so much that it begins to burn your muscles and hurt your chest, but you see Sukuna shielding himself with his arms to protect himself, you see him creating a crater on the ground as the elements shove him down, you see blood spilling out of cuts that weren’t there before, and that pain numbs.

All that torments your heart numbs away. It all goes quiet except for your beating heart, you feel that thumping in your ears.

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum, ba-dum…

It starts to race until everything falls deafeningly silent and a flicker of your pain reappears and grows like wildfire, spreading its agonizing flames everywhere to the point you can’t handle it anymore.

You can’t…it hurts too much. So…with a trembling lip and tears streaming down, you cry out and power the fire that burns hot, the wind that cuts sharply, the water that hits roughly, and the earth that breaks away his strength.

It’s all so mesmerizing.

But through that pain and those tears, you don’t see when he manages to find an escape. You see his blood pooled on the ground and grow proud to know you caused the King of Curses the pain you promised, but you don’t see a glimpse of him.

There’s nothing until the hairs on the back of your neck rise, and a chortle breaks through the roaring of the elements. You twist your head back and gasp when you see him above you with a wicked grin brought by you, and the slash that you catch him throw at your torso.

It would’ve killed you, it would’ve cut right through you and left pieces of you, but you manage to catch it in time and drop all the elements you were just using to focus all your power on protecting yourself.

But the slash travels fast and manages to cut you across your chest, and throws you down to the ground with all its force.

Now you expect to face death once again. Your friends after all, but your heart beats, and air travels through your lungs.

You expect darkness to follow, but even if your eyes droop the sky is clear.

It’s all clear, so you wonder through your delirium, if this is what Satoru saw, this beautiful sky before he died. Did he feel the snowflakes fall on his face like you do?

Did he think of you like you think of him now?

Probably not. Most likely not. But what did he feel at those last moments?

Peace, that he finally could stop being the strongest, that his actual moment of rest was in death? Or did he feel disappointed that he lost?

If only you could tell him he fought well, that he gave everyone an advantage by taking Sukuna’s domain, and that he made you and everyone proud.

You want to tell him, and fall like he did, but…death doesn’t come back for you.

“You were a lot of fun,” you hear Sukuna’s grating voice close by. “Really. I had fun fighting you, Gojo. But you were annoying, so I’ll have to get rid of you. Be proud though, you’re strong.”

“Fuck you,” you grimace as you fist your hands.

Sukuna scoffs in disapproval and stops before your feet.

You keep your eyes on the sky and start to think of a way to counter.

Fire?

Sure why not.

Yet just as you lift your hand and Sukuna gets ready to strike, suddenly someone’s feet land on your sides, and the gruesome sound of metal slashing flesh echoes.

You quickly blink and shift your gaze down and see Kusakabe has come in between Sukuna and you. He saved you.

“Go,” he bellows. “Before you can't. Go!”

You’d be stupid to linger behind, and even worse to stay and fight with him with the slash still across your chest because you can still fight so you can’t risk dying yet.

“You owe me for this,” Kusakabe tells you with a strain in his voice.

You drag yourself back and push yourself up even if your arms throb because of the slash on your chest.

“I’m in your debt Kusakabe,” you assure him softly.

“Heh. Hell yeah, now get out. They’ll need you.”

You hesitate leaving him to fight alone against Sukuna, but he’s right, so after one last lingering look at the man who saved your life, you run away from the scene.

You’re not even aware of how far you get because the pain is throbbing and overwhelming, it’s not until you bump into someone that you snap out of your pain-ridden stupor.

“Yuji!” You exclaim with relief.

He calls out your name in surprise and immediately finds the bleeding wound on your chest. He wants to say something, but the sight of his brother turning the corner and joining you cuts him off

“Choso,” you whisper.

Said man wastes no time—albeit he probably already knew you were hurt too by the broadcast, but he still quickly finds the gash on your chest still bleeding and fresh, and a deep crease grows in between his eyebrows while his lips fall to a long frown.

“I’m sorry,” you can’t help but say since you know watching you fight, watching you fall was one of the worst times of his life.

“You’re…okay?” He asks as if in disbelief.

You nod but he doesn’t see it before he strides over and grabs you by your shoulders to push you back against a wall and pull you down to the ground.

“Choso,” you call out, but it goes to deaf ears, you can see the panic blocking his senses. “Cho.”

Said man looks for something in his pockets, but when he doesn’t seem to find it he pulls on his vest, so you grab his wrists even if seeing him with fewer clothes will really help you heal.

“Choso, stop, stop. Take a minute and look.” You interject as you see that you have his undivided attention now. “I’m healing. I’ll be okay.”

Choso’s brown eyes gleaming with frustration and worry fall on your gash and he sees the RCT do its job and mend the deep wound Sukuna gave you.

“The babies, are they okay?” You have him focus on something else, and he immediately gets lost in that feeling written deep in his soul.

When he doesn’t feel any loss he meets your gaze and nods lightly, making you smile and bring one of his hands to your chest so he can feel the rhythm of your heart.

“I wasn’t going to fall to him,” you try to keep assuring him. “I told you.”

You cup his hand and offer him a teasing smile. “Be upset at me if that’s what you want.”

Choso swallows thickly. “You were stupid. Stupidly brave.”

You laugh softly and nod. “Chaotic techniques require risks.”

He scoffs and holds your gaze for a second to appreciate the life sparking within them and thank the stars that he wasn’t staring at dull and lifeless eyes.

“I copied some of the moves from your piercing blood,” you show off proudly. “Did you see?”

The corner of his lips flicker to a smile as he nods, but he doesn’t get to respond because he then drops his forehead on yours and cups your cheeks. “I saw you fall,” he mutters against your lips. “And my world was about to collapse. I ran here as fast as I could.”

You bring your hand up and cup his soft and warm cheek, making him lean into your touch as if he’s gone years without the feeling of your gentle touch.

“I wasn’t going to leave you,” you murmur. “Just like you're not going to leave me.”

“Never.”

A wobbly smile tugs on your lips and he mirrors it before pressing his lips on yours and taking you in for a lingering kiss he needs to just reassure himself that you in fact are alive and standing before him, that you’re not some figment of his imagination, or a pretty billboard.

“I love you,” you remind him after your close reunion with death.

“And I love you,” he doesn’t hesitate to return quickly and with deep tenderness.

You muster a soft smile and steal one last kiss from his lips before watching him sit beside you to let you finish mending your wound.

“Choso,” you call out as you have a deja vu.

“Hm?” He probes and looks at you.

You smile at your fingers on the ground and slowly slip them over his and turn your head to meet his gaze and tell him what you remember. “We were sitting like this after we decided to become allies, remember? It was after I found my daughters. Do you remember?”

Choso pulls his hand out to lay it over yours and cups your hand in his grasp instead. “Of course, I remember. I’ll remember when I turn old and can barely get out of bed.”

You chuckle and he smiles at you just because he hears you laugh.

“That’s when I knew you know,” you tell him what you haven’t told him before.

“What?” He presses curiosily.

You hold his curious gaze and share your truth. “That you had a good heart and that we were going to be great friends. I knew since that day that I didn’t want to live without you in my life.”

His lips tremble but he doesn’t let himself cry, he just offers you a wobbly smile before bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles.

“It hurts?” He asks.

You know what he refers to but you find a moment to tease him in your sudden shift from pain to slow relief. “Falling for you? Worth all the pain.”

Choso blinks in confusion, while you notice Yuji’s annoyed reaction.

“Oh,” Choso gasps and snorts as his cheeks grow a bright shade of red. “Well, I was wondering about your gash.”

You lean your body towards him and shake your head. “It’s slowly going away. I’ll be good to go in a few minutes.”

Choso shakes his head. “No, you said when you got hurt I could pull you away. You got hurt, deeply. You can’t go back.”

“Uh,” Yuji breaks his silence.

You and Choso look up and see two shadows approaching before you see Larue and Miguel.

“Good luck with that,” Miguel announces their entrance. “You’ll have better luck raising the dead than making her sit on the bench.”

You knew they were hanging by nearby waiting if they were going to be needed, or if they could go home unscathed. But still seeing them meet up with you makes your breath hitch.

“We saw you fall,” Larue directs at you with concern painted all over his face. “And we decided that we couldn’t hide in the shadows any longer.”

You’re annoyed that they didn’t tell you about Kenjaku and everything that came with that business, but after losing your brother, and after fighting for justice for Nanako and Mimiko, seeing your family fills you with relief and bliss that you hide however.

You slowly stand up with Choso’s help and stare at them nonchalantly, making both Larue and Miguel wait for a cold shoulder or a quip. You approach them and they draw in a breath. And when you stop before them they both share a knowing look, but ultimately you close the gap with an embrace around the both of them.

“Oh,” Miguel mouths.

You lost Suguru, Nanako, and Mimiko, your brother and so many others, how can you stay mad at them when life has taken so much?

If they died today and you never get to make up you’d regret it your whole life, so with this tight embrace the grudge and that anger you had against them melts away and you’re left with a beaming grin, and bliss that you have them here with you.

“I’m not glad you guys are here,” you mutter, “but I am happy that you came.”

Larue rubs your back before you pull back to face them.

“Who is happy to be here?” Miguel remarks. “No one.”

You scoff in amusement and Larue grabs your shoulder to check on your wound.

“It seems you’re healing fine.”

“You’ll fight with us then? When it’s our time to go next?” Miguel goes off Larue’s comment.

“No,” Choso answers for you but you ignore him and answer for yourself.

“Yes. I have some fight left in me even after. I can keep him busy,” you assure them, Yuji, and Choso. “Just don't expect any more big moves.”

“But your domain must’ve taken a lot from you,” Yuji interjects. “How could you possibly still have more cursed energy right now?”

“She’s a special grade for a reason, kid,” Miguel argues. “It’s also why she can’t sit back for that reason.”

“Unless you guys have some kind of family technique I don’t see why she needs to be out there,” Choso tries to protest.

You and Larue giggle at that comment before you walk over to your husband and grab his shoulder to reassure him. “You’ll be with me this time, you can look out for me this time. Make sure we’re okay, hm? Just don’t ask me to stay behind when my family is out here risking their lives.”

Choso glances at Larue and Miguel and shoots them a warning. “Just don’t ask her to pull anything dramatic. She doesn’t have the energy for that.” He then drifts his gaze back to you and narrows his gaze to a threatening glare. “Use weapons as much as you can from now on. Leave your technique for when you really need it.”

He won’t get off your back if you don’t make any kind of agreement so you agree to give him some peace of mind. Besides leaning more towards weapons from now on is a smart idea considering you don’t know how far Sukuna wants to take this fight. You might need your technique later for something bigger.

“All right. Fine.”

Choso holds your gaze and looks as if you’re being deceitful, but when he sees that sincerity behind your eyes he lets out a relieved deep breath and shares it with soft words. “Thank you.”

You offer him a sweet smile and plant a peck on his cheek, making his lips twitch to a smile.

“You remember Larue and Miguel right?” You make sure to ask since he hasn’t had the time to really spend time with your family.

“Yes,” Choso says and steals a glimpse at them. “They were at the wedding, I remember.”

You turn to face your family to ask the same thing about Choso but Yuji then interrupts.

“Can I ask you something, Mr Larue? Are you not cold?”

You snort and cut in for him before he can respond. “No. You see those hearts on his chest? They're heat warmers.” You smirk and bounce your eyebrows before you take your phone out and continue to snicker.

“Really?” Yuji falls for it.

“No,” Larue blurts. “That joke is old.”

You chuckle. “Like you.”

“We’re the same age, but my knowledge and wise spirit do make me older than you,” he counters smugly.

You look away from your phone and look at him with a quirked brow. “The only thing you are is a know-it-all. No one likes those.”

Larue feigns a laugh and you turn around swiftly but peer over your shoulder whilst Choso turns with you, and you interject before Larue can say some witty comeback. “Careful,” you feign a pout. “Or mommy is gonna get mad.”

Choso’s eyes snap to you and his cheeks grow warm, whilst Miguel remarks.

“What the hell did you just say?”

You start walking out of the alleyway to go and help Kusakabe since you doubt he could keep Sukuna entertained for long.

“It’s a true statement I am mother,” you argue between snickers.

“I hate when you refer to yourself like that, it’s weird,” Miguel spats.

You ignore him and click on the broadcast and see just as you assumed, Kusakabe falling after being slashed.

At least he lasted a few minutes, you’ll give him props for that and not running away. Oh! And for saving your life. You owe him.

“Well,” you sigh. “Looks like we’re all up now. Larue, Miguel, you take Sukuna from above, I will go with Choso and Yuji from below.” You tell them affirmably.

“Hm,” Larue hums in comprehension, and with no need to argue, he just worries. “Be careful, you have a little one waiting for you. You’ve already been hurt.”

You stop in your tracks and turn to face them with a sad smile. “You two be careful too, we have a family dinner waiting for us after this is over to welcome the new members to our family.” You mention and glance at Yuji to let him know he’s included, and lastly look at Choso with a soft smile.

Choso eyes soften and he faintly mirrors your gentle gesture with appreciation that you included his little brother too.

“We’re fighting together,” Larue says with a slight smirk. “Like we always have, that’s a guarantee to our success. We’ll see you out there.”

You hum in agreement and watch until their figures are out of sight and all you is an empty alleyway.

Lately, life has been cruel. Maybe it’s what you deserve for all the evil you’ve done. Life is just collecting its justice, but you just hope—no pray, that you won't lose no one else.

You’ve never been a super religious person, but you know above everything else that the ones you love, cherish, and pray will live, don’t deserve that anguish. Maybe you do, you know how karma works, you recognize you’ve done bad things, but all you want from now on is for life to not be so cruel to them. Please…

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Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest @natakina

#fanfiction #damn-stark #sugar #chapter 38 #jjk #jjk fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #choso #choso fanfiction #choso x reader #choso x you #choso x y/n #choso x female reader #choso x fem!reader #choso kamo #choso kamo fanfiction #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo x you #choso kamo x y/n #choso kamo x female reader #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #yuji itadori #kusakabe atsuya #larue jjk #miguel jjk #gojo satoru #gojo!reader #geto suguru fanfiction

[mysteryanimator]

I love your animations, but I'm still struggling to view them without thinking about their last canon interaction. Can you tell me what you envision their makeup would be like?

(Lol I’m so sorry to all the ppl who work on Nocturne reading this 💀 and just generally everyone)

Thank you so much that means a lot! But now, you’ve unveiled my trap card and given me an excuse to write my thoughts on Mizrak and Olrox, so this will get pretty long. Also, this may end up being very subjective/personal taste in some parts so I hope everyone doesn’t mind (and hope you don't mind the funky grammar!) This is an open discussion too, I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts! 

Now with that out of the way here we go!

(This is old unfinished storyboards for a previous iteration of their makeup scene I did back in jan, never finished them due to uni/another project, I'd like to someday tho because guh the themes.)

Now first of all, I’d like to think that a proper makeup/conversation wouldn’t happen for a bit and would be drawn out because they’re both still hurt, angry, sad, and confused at not only each other but themselves. They’re not the type to get into loud verbal arguments for this, definitely some verbal jabs at each other though. Mean petty comments, oh absolutely. I’d like to personally believe they’d still yearn for each other, perhaps even more so after Olrox indirectly confessed and Mizrak practically turned it down. 

Now, there are soooo many different ways that they’d even see each other again, many different ways it could come to that initial point where they’ve made up. Though I’ll go with one of my personal idea (which people keep egging me on to animate WHICH… I dunno I don’t have free time rn so I’m just blurting it out into written format while I can 😭 I want to though, maybe later in the year for fun if season 2 doesn’t beat me to it). 

Have to establish my vision, but I’d think that Richter, Maria, Annette, Alucard and Mizrak are hopping from abandoned town to abandoned town due to the inability to return to Macheoul for the time being. While Olrox has been on his own (doing what, I’m not even sure my personal headcanon for this.) I think Alucard and Mizrak have a conversation about Alucard’s past in a group setting and it strikes a chord with the monk- since after all, Alucard’s dad is THE Dracula, and his mother (bless her, I miss her) is human. You know how that whole backstory goes, and it parallels Olrox a lot. Also Mizrak and Annette will absolutely have a deep conversation too. Just solely from the comment that was made: 

“We’re all descended from gods, we just have to learn how to draw their power.” Nocturne s1 ep 2

Annette clearly having powers from Haitian gods, absolutely challenging how Mizrak was only certain of one God. Yes, Mizrak is extremely stubborn and it will take him a bit, but he’s different from the Abott in the sense that he will not let religion blind his path to good. He ‘uses his head’ as said before, not god, not the church- his head. Mizrak’s idea of the church and his faith is now a mess and it’s up to him on how he interprets it and rewrites it knowing what he knows now (this is important I swear when it comes to the makeup scene).

Now we’re at the actual scene at hand: Olrox and Mizrak making up.

Side note: oh god I’m practically writing this whole thing as if its going to be played out for an episode, but that’s how it works in my brain LOL but you asked so you shall receive. I am so sorry HAHA

There’s been a lot of build up from this point where they have been meeting up here and there by themselves, but you can clearly tell whenever they do they both hurt and yearn- which would lead to their proper makeup scene. I’m just inserting this for fun, but I’d imagine this would take place in an abandoned church in the town they’re camping in for the night. For a lot of symbolic reasons; devotion, sacrifice, forgiveness, gathering. This along with the simple fact, Mizrak’s relationship to the church has changed completely from here. I’d like to think that even when he’s trying to rekindle that connection with God, it leaves that icky overcoat on his skin. 

“Faith is a company in the hardest of times, when the world abandons you.” Nocturne ep 3

The church indeed had saved him from whatever terrible horrific thing happened to him in the past, however whatever saved him can still be horrible and terrible too. It is infallible.  It is cruel in an attempt to gather community and peace. So, yes- faith can be company when the world abandoned him, but his faith is no longer with the church. He’s taking it back and finding some place else to rest it. (Olrox, it’s Olrox, probably ooc but I’m making it Olrox). 

In this church, the conversation between them will initially start as a discussion about religion, faith and that whole sort of deal. It’ll open up about Mizrak exact struggles from his mouth and how he particularly feels about it, then we get more insight onto Olrox’s thoughts, his perception of the church and perhaps even a deep dive into Aztec history again. Maybe even talk about Olrox’s Quetzalcoatl form, though really this is self indulgent. It’s an aspect I’d absolutely love to be explored and I think it being discussed in revere in a Catholic Church,  with Mizrak actually being open to it due to his new perspective? Oh my god, sign me up. Regardless, it would hold similar energy to episode 6: Gulity Men to be Judged. There’s a weight to it. 

Then it gets heavier when the conversation pivots.  

Mizrak’s attachment in the church was due to him caring about people and, hypothetically, to save him from whatever detriment came for him in the past. The last canon interaction, their falling out they had in season 1 was because he cared about others. To a fault. Now, here he is, standing in front of someone he cares about. It’s going to open a conversation between what’s happening between them and finally properly discuss what happened from their last canon interaction in nocturne season 1. 

A lot of finger and hand brushing from Olrox, which at first I’d think gets no reaction as an attempt for restraint before Mizrak warms up to it and even reciprocates by doing the same thing. All of this is very gentle in my opinion. It’s slow, tender, and most importantly vulnerable. It has the physical contact reminiscent of their first fast rough and tug in the courtyard and piggybacks off the vulnerability they both have when they both stand next to the window in episode 6. They probably also just physically get closer to each other at the moment. Just gradually though. The distance gets closer and closer until their foreheads are practically touching without them realizing it. They’re comfortable though, they don’t want to leave. 

They absolutely get to a point where they both admit to saying “I love you” without straight up saying “I love you” because that’s just a very them thing. Or maybe they do straight up state because Olrox does admit he was in love (with his partner) and doesn’t shy from that fact. It’s a nice conversion of the trope and great to hear from a mlm couple to say I love you… but man do I do love when characters get all poetic-y when their profess their devotion to each other by literally talking in prose, so maybe with good writing both can be done and still be quite powerful but still be gentle. 

In my interpretation YEAH I’LL MAKE THEM KISS AFTER THIS, this is my vision after all. Also, yeah they’re gonna fuck. In the church? Perhaps. Is it a tad OOC, maybe. HOWEVER, consider imagery and symbolism. I just think the image of it would be great, even if it was censored to hell and back, it can be so artistically done. Just imagine the implication alone with me for a second. I think the whole concept of doing it in a church is an interesting build upon the quotes from the show;

“God is not here. This church is an empty box.” From the first Castlevania series.

“House of God? This place is just a heap of bricks and stone.” From Nocturne said by Maria. 

The church is a husk, especially having it abandoned- it’s rather what you do with that box that makes all the difference. The people inside are the driving force, so I think it’s both poetic and funny to have Mizrak and Olrox fucking in an abandoned church. Surface level: fuck you god I’m fucking my hot vampire boyfriend in your house. Deeper level: I could write a whole thing on this but I’ll refrain. You can get the gist of breaking free of restraint, and devotion and letting himself be human, rather than a soldier (which he already slowly does). 

Though also this sex scene isn’t necessary, I just like exploring explicit content in artistic ways, especially if I can throw in religious symbols and heighten that hunger/devotion to a person- but the “I love you” in the church is pretty powerful already.  

Then after all of this they take it at their own pace. However, they only live life once and continue together like that- they both know this concept very well because of the very nature of who they are, so they spend it in each other’s company. 

Now you also get the squad’s reactions, well namely because I do not think this would be an easily hidden thing. Like absolutely could get away with it in season 1, but everyone will know something is up for sure in my iteration. The 'hypothetical' Mystery Animator season 2 iteration. As subtle as their longing stares and quiet hand touches may be reserved for just them- those little interactions are loud.

Richter would absolutely be in shambles over Olrox, the killer of his mother, and Mizrak being a thing. Both in a “this is the most horrible thing that’s happened in my life” and also a he’s going to be an absolute shithead to Mizrak and make fun of him, lightheartedly of course. Alucard would absolutely have an interesting perspective because again, his parents. Maria already has disdain for the church plus the “vampires are evil… and evil has to be fought.” However, in the presence of Alucard, I think a lot will change because he’s half-vampire. Annette, I’m unsure of what her reaction would be, because I’m very sure she’d be receptive to Alucard being a vampire and then would appreciate Olrox’s mindset and values. However, gonna keep hammering, Olrox killed Julia Belmont which I feel will be comedically hammered in if Olrox decides to hang around the squad occasionally. 

And with that, we’re done! (I think)

Thank you for reading 🫶 this probably will not happen in cv s2 but it’s fun blurting out my hc. I’m really excited to see what they do, and even perhaps even go in the opposite direction due to episode limitations… maybe a season 3 👀 who knows.

#castlevania nocturne #olrox/mizrak #mizrox #castlevania olrox #mizrak #olrox #castlevania #vampire #holy shit this is long #castlevania fanart #im sooooo normal you guys #tf you mean this is 2k words #is this techincally a thesis? a character essay? #literally posting and closing my eyes #grammar might be shit but guys I have a vision #headcannon #dont percieve me

[netrix-at-centric]

YOURE TELLING ME ANDY DIDN’T ACTUALLY KILL CHUCKY AND HE KILLED DR MIXTER INSTEAD??? 

#I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS IT WAS A SUCH A COP OFF #BRO WHAT THE HELL??? #I WAS NOT STFU ABT THIS BECAUSE THE MOMENT WAS ACTUALLY ROBBED REGARDLESS OF IT NOT BEING HIM?? #STILL ??? #IM SO CONFUSED ABOUT THE SEASON FINALE #NAHHHH LAST EP SHOULDVE BEEN IT #what actually even happened in the last episode #HELP JUST WHEN I THOUGHT EP 7 WAS MY LEAST FAV IT WAS THIS ONE ??/ #BRO WHERE'S EVERYONE ?? WHAT HAPPENED??? #WHERE'S CLOSURE ON NICA??? #chucky tv series #chucky spoilers #andy barclay #im so in the middle istg #i dont know #i wanna say im mad but at the same time i wanna say im not #BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH ANDY DIDNT ACTUALLY KILL OFF CHUCKY MY POINT STILL STANDS #THAT HE FEARED HIS ACTUAL FEARS FACING THE DOLL AND THAT OF HIM STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF #SO LIKE #HELP IM MAD BUT LIKE ALSO NOT THAT MAD BECAUSE IT WAS STILL CHR DEVELOPMENT TOWARDS HIM??? #IM SO CONFLICTED HELP #chucky

[thermodynamic-comedian]

s5 jon with long hair is inspired but have you considered: s5 jonah with long hair.

#longer than shoulder-length. #there's even a canon reason for this headcanon #he was in prison. for all of s4 except the last few episodes. #and i do not think he had time for a haircut in between convincing martin not to kill him and preparing The statement #actually idk what idea i find more appealing. #him getting a haircut and properly preparing and making sure he looks his best when the apocalypse happens #or #him just fucking crawling into the panopticon still in his prison uniform hair long completely feral and ecstatic #tma #the magnus archives #tma headcanons #jonathan sims #jonah magnus #elias bouchard #tma s5

[buddiesmutslut]

OKAY OKAY OKAY YOU GUYS BUT WHAT IF!!

What if, in the last few minutes of 7x10, we cut to Frank in his office. The camera is focused on him so we don’t know who’s on the couch across from him.

He’s mentioning the last time the person was there, that they were talking about intimacy & their partner and worries about the future (throwback to Athena on the first episode & Bobby in the cruise ship arc), and Frank asks the person how it’s going…

AND THEN IT PANS TO EDDIE IN THE ROOM LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE AND UPSET AND KIND OF A MESS AND HE SAYS SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF: “I realized I couldn’t commit to Ana or Marisol in the way I thought I should because they’re not what I wanted. I don’t think I like women.” A pause. A breath. “And I think that’s because I’m in love with my best friend.”

END SEASON ROLL CREDITS YOU’LL HAVE TO COME BACK IN S8 TO SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT.

#911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #oliver stark #ryan guzman #tim minear #Tim if you use this I will love you FOREVER #I think it would be so funny to start & end the season in Frank’s office #with characters trying to get to the nitty gritty of why they’re feeling things & what they’re ACTUALLY struggling with #idk what would lead to Eddie’s revelation in the last episode maybe another NDE #I’ve always thought that Chris was going to be the one to get them together so maybe something happens to him/he gets hurt #& whether Buck’s with Tommy or not he still comes when Chris needs him because he’s a PARENT & a PARTNER #and he already has a family and Eddie realizes then that he doesn’t need a mother figure for Chris when they already have a Buck #goddamn it i think i just had another fic idea #911 #911 s7 #911 s7 e10 spec #they haven’t even written it yet so it coULD TOTALLY HAPPEN #bisexual evan buckley #also GIVE ME EDDIE LEARNING WHAT DEMISEXUALITY IS IN THERAPY #demisexual eddie diaz #gay eddie diaz #they are in love #& I need them to realize it #the buckley diaz family #I saw someone say that Buck needed to understand his sexuality to realize his feelings for Eddie #and Eddie needed to realize his feelings for Buck to understand his sexuality & that feels VERY true to me

[drbtinglecannon]

It's actually kinda sexy of Caleb & Evelyn to haunt the narrative so thoroughly while never having any speaking lines or even appearing on screen outside of 400yr old repressed memories, delusions, and/or hyped up folklore

We don't even know for sure if Evelyn was a Clawthorne, or what she looked like, or how the fight between Caleb and Philip went down, or Caleb's reasons for leaving without Philip, or what their half witch half human baby looked like, or how long after Caleb left before Philip found him again, or what Evelyn did when she discovered her dead lover's grave was robbed, or how quickly after killing Caleb did Philip decide "I can make a new Caleb that's Better™"

We have scraps to give us pretty good ideas for most of these, but nope they really just haunt with no reward. Like yeah babes give us nothing!

#toh #toh spoilers #remember how it took all the way til KT to hear belos drop the name ''caleb'' but then the subtitles wrote it wrong so it became even more #of a theory fight & then it took until TTT for fucking masha to explicitly name drop caleb AND evelyn???? AND give us any scraps of lore??? #like we had so much foundation for it all but it took til the 3rd to last episode to finally confirm SOME of it & it was done in a way #that is unreliable bc its all legend & thats so hilarious in a mean way #caleb wittebane #evelyn clawthorne #philip wittebane #LIKE YEAH WE CAN SAFELY ASSUME MOST OF THIS STUFF BUT ITS NEVER ACTUALLY EXPLICT. THE GRAYNESS OF IT ALL #tc posts #my last hyperfixation before s2b aired & toh seized my life again was dgs & IT DOES THE SAME THING THERE IS ALSO A TRIO OF 2 MEN 1 WOMAN #THAT HAUNT THE NARRATIVE & THE WOMAN IS NEVER FULLY NAMED OR FULLY SHOWN & THE TWO MEN ALSO HAVE A DUEL TO THE DEATH LIKE. & NO WE GET #BASICALLY NOTHING ON ANY OF THEM EXCEPT HOW MUCH THEIR DEATHS FUCKED EVERYTHING UP. THEY HAUNT THE NARRATIVE SO MUCH #its a ''2 nickels which isnt a lot but its weird it happened twice in a row'' situation for me tbh #yes im disappointed we didnt get a fuller pic of the wittebane lore but also i kinda like its a vague thing of the past bc thats what it is

[crystalleoi]

5C

#inanimate insanity #ii mephone5 #ii mephone5c #my art #listen man. these two (+ 5S) are like inherently connected in my mind. even though they've never met canonically #created by a man who does not truly care about them or their well-being and only values them bc they are still new and useful to him #& died trying to kill their predecessor. but their efforts wouldn't have mattered anyway because they would've been replaced in like a year #did they know they would be replaced? did they just have to live with the knowledge that they would one day no longer matter to cobs? #these tags r only tangentially related to the artwork. i'm losing it i fear #anyway a headcanon that's actually kinda related to this art: #i imagine that cobs gave more preferential treatment to 5S because he had more advanced tech nd stuff #and 5C developed like a weird relationship w her self-esteem where she (like the other mephones) kind of has an inflated ego #she readily compliments herself (literally called herself “the most colorful beauty in existence”) #(partially bc she's kinda compensating for not getting as much praise from cobs as 5S) #(i also think she tends to seek validation from others (e.g. “i'm made of plastic. neat huh?”) because of that) #but she doesn't talk up how advanced her tech is because it's from Last Year #you don't understand how long this headcanon has been microwaving in my mind. it's been YEARS. i've never unleashed it until now #it's probably stupid but WHATEVER MAN. i'll overanalyze these phones as much as i want #this is what happens when your favorite characters show up in like 1 episode and die. you go insane

[etre-grantaire]

So we are approaching what is probably going to be Scary’s lowest point, but oh god I think there is so much opportunity for Terry Jr to reach out to her right now and I really really need that to happen.

Like the parallels are right there, and I think that Terry is uniquely in a position to reach Scary where she is—being manipulated by a father figure purporting to care about her but really just using her for his own ends. Like Terry has been there and lived it and almost got the people who love him killed because of it.

I think that maybe Terry forgot how he felt about Ron at first, how hard it can be to have someone come into your life without your decision and without your consent and then try to love you, because it seems like from the moment they bonded in the forgotten realms they ended up having a pretty good relationship (because Ron’s emotionally available now!). And I think that maybe he blocked it out or softened his memories and that’s why he’s struggling with Scary—he doesn’t remember how hard it was with Ron to start with and he’s just projecting the good relationship they ended up with onto Scary. But this might be a wake up call as to how far she’s slipped away. He’s watching the past repeat itself, but now he is in a position to help her.

I feel like Link is really going to struggle with forgiving Scary because his dads are everything to him and he already spent so much time worrying about Marco, and now Scary has just dragged him into this world by facilitating a murder at his dinner party. And if Grant was hurt during the escape (“you should see the other guy”) I think it would be really hard for him to come back from that. The two people he cares most about in the world have been seriously hurt by Scary’s actions and this might be a breaking point for him.

Normal I think will really want to forgive her and bring her back to them but I think he has too much of the Oak anger in him and even though he’s trying to control it, I don’t think that he’s ready for a situation like this, where Scary is probably going to do everything she can to push him away and hurt him. And I think that without Link’s support he probably won’t have the confidence to try and reach out by himself.

Taylor would probably be the most okay with the actual murder, but the fact that Scary did it without talking it through with them may seem like evidence that his dad is right and he can’t even trust his friends, and he might pull away. While I can see him trying to talk to Normal and Link about Scary’s point of view (clearly trying to be Tony Pepperoni’s friend wasn’t working, and they had already spent 2 months trying with no result, and I think that the Close-Foster-Swift family has a kind of maybe cold practicality to them at times when it’s not their loved ones getting hurt), I don’t see him reaching out independently to her. He’ll also probably be more focused on what this means for his mom and if she’s going to be safe, now that he’s seen Willy kill someone when they become inconvenient with no regards to consequences.

So I feel like it will really need to be Terry who reaches out to bring Scary back from Willy and offers her another father figure but on her own terms, and help to bridge the gap between them. Having Terry Jr look at her after what she’s done and tell her I see you, I know you (I am you), and I still love you would just be so powerful. I’ve seen the worst of you and I’m still here.

He’s not the step dad, he’s the dad who’s going to step up.

#But lololol I know that probably isn’t going to happen bc iirc Anthony wants the npcs to be reactive rather than proactive #which does make sense from a role playing perspective #and I think I remember him saying that he regretted how early on Terry and Ron fixed their relationship #soooo #I don’t think he’ll have Terry be the one reaching out and definitely not any time soon #the boys will probably try their best #BUT #A GIRL CAN DREAM #let’s keep the stampler family the only emotionally available family in the series #(although side note do we even know what last name Terry Jr uses? #I think I remember Link referring to him at Mr. Marlowe in an episode and he doesn’t correct him #although Link also later refers to him as Mr. Stampler #does he take Ron’s last name? #what was Terry Sr’s last name? #plot twist: his last name is actually Junior #Terry Junior and Terry Sr. Junior) #dungeons and daddies #dungeons and daddies spoilers #dndads #dndads s2 spoilers #scary marlowe #terry jr #terry stampler #i just don’t know

[wolves-in-the-world]

I am never not thinking about hardison and eliot looking at each other while parker changes in the elevator and turning away once it's immediately clear the other dude's spooked too

#am I reading a lot into a tiny moment: yes #do I wholeheartedly believe it: 100% #just that barest hint of dudes prepared to keep other dudes in check #(pausing to picture for my health eliot smacking a military buddy on the back of the head #for saying something shitty #shelley is allowed at team poker games because he did that to eliot once) #leverage #for me this is one of those shows where you're trying to pin down what's weird about it #and you realise ages in you're not low key worried on behalf of the vulnerable characters #'cos we're shown from so early on that these characters are Safe #—and THEN eliot and parker standing close to each other while changing is an entirely DIFFERENT kind of safe #the one that says it isn't a big deal to either of them so they're not gonna be weird about it— #listen I'm just slightly feral about it alright #do you know how much it bothers me that I'm not totally convinced the last episode elevator scene even HAPPENED #nate is not a reliable narrator folks we never SEE the actual thing #but the cosiness and flirtiness and humour and respect of it kills me #that is all <3 #dug out of my drafts because it is Time To Vibe #[tags have been copied over in a reblog]

[nerdynikki94]

Honestly? Did I want more from DTAMHD? Yes, I did. I wanted something signifying actual progression for Dennis' character (even just a crumb of genuine growth) , and I sincerely don't think we got that. However... we did get a fascinating insight into the process of his mind. Dennis' level of self-denial is so ironic and profound. He can't acknowledge the inevitability that he's middle-aged.

(I swear this episode honestly has given me an alt hc, that the show is based in his mind; because logistically, a man of his lifestyle and malnourishment could not commit the feats he is constantly sailing through. TGGB & DTAMHD... back-to-back? What happened to his hand? Did he even sprain it? Or is he just the most dramatic brat in the gang - clearly the latter.)

It is important to note that he didn’t fix the actual problem. He momentarily masked the symptoms, but ignore long-term help with blood pressure medicine is not going to fix the issue, nor is it going to protect him from fucking keeling over in a stressful situation (when he's not in a contained and quiet Doctor's exam room) and his blood pressure spikes.

I'm honestly a little jaded at this point (16 Fucking Seasons of crumbs, y'all), but if one were to continue 'trusting the structure' this episode conveyed a lot.

The B Plot: The pressure cooker. The metaphor parallels the building pressure Dennis quick-tempered bouts of rage. So, to toss out a little 'cat-in-the-wall' conjecture here: The pressure cooker is Dennis, but we all saw him eat that bloody diamond in the end and we all heard Mac's speech about coal turning into diamonds under massive pressure. Dennis' experience is a theory of pressure, he daydreams it all in the span of a minute or so. He's roleplaying with hypothetical obstacles. There's no risk. Maybe Dennis, isn't the pressure cooker, but the coal.

If I were to try and take anything hopeful out of this episode, it would be the way the narrative is showing us that this episode acknowledged that Dennis isn't ready yet. It's not his turn to break. It's going to take real, substantial pressure to get that diamond.

It was a hell of a misdirect (and honestly a little bit of a slap in the face), but if these characters live in the real world, where people are bound by the laws of mortality, then Dennis should have his time.

Genuinely, who fucking knows?

I'm not hating on the episode. We all know this is the trashy dick joke sitcom. I just thought that if Mac & Charlie could have moments of genuine heartbreak, culminating in deep catharsis, that maybe Dennis could have that too.... but no.

Can't wait to see the sunny dudebros miss the point & proclaim Dennis Reynolds - SA victim, traumatized individual with an emotionally tumultuous personality disorder - the new Andrew Tate.

I'm sorry, but yeah. I'm a little miffed. It was all a dream, and everything goes Dennis' way. Y'all I'm fucking tired. This was a great episode for Glenn, but a fucking frustrating episode for Dennis. I may have wanted a little macden, but all I cared about was seeing Dennis face the limitations of his mortality, to see that he's failing his body and his brain. He didn't have to actually take the medicine (I wouldn't expect him to), but Goddammit, everything seems to work out in his delusional favor. So, of course he's going to continue being delusional, and probably only change for the worse.

I'll say it: I wanted a broken Dennis, and we did not get that. He didn't even crack, the unbearble and apparently now canonical Golden God. That episode's title was intended to tease sunnyblr.

Excuse the plethora of tags. I just kept getting more irritated.

#what i take from the episode is further insight to the lengths of Dennis' repression which adds to my fic #iasip s16 #i will say this: i can't dislike this episode solely because of how phenomenal glennjamin's performance was. #I'd say I'm retracting the title of macden 'truther'. I'm still a stan. but this ep made me realize dennis is too coddled by the narrative #with TGGB he's constantly winning. even the game he doesn't stay to watch the end of. his body performing near miracles. wtf #the real reason I'm seriously bothered is the sunny dudebros. they already idolize dennis #this ep has only made it worse because the obvious point of Dennis' actual delusions will go right over their heads. #anybody with a grounded sense of reality can tell you that dennis did not solve a problem #he dreamt up a scenario in some kind of toxic meditation session. he's getting older. and his denial is metastasizing #Dennis' denial isn't sustainable. I'm kind of cutting off my investment in that regard. he's a fucking mess & he's currently being idolized #dennis reynolds #definitely not my favorite episode. not bc of lack of macden. a little bc Den needs limitations. mainly bc 'it was all a dream' is cheap #ranting.excuse me for wanting 1 of my fave characts actually have his poor health.self-destructive coping mechanism/trauma acknowledged #can't believe i was actually afraid i wouldn't be able to write because too much might happen in DTAMHD...! 🤣 #it should've all happened. but instead ended w/him getting charges pressed when he tried to break into ceo's home #ngl. this one hurt. I'm ready for Mac to give up on Dennis. i just wish this fucking show would let him. #excuse me while i go bawl like a baby watching MFHP. because I'm heartbroken that Dennis' BPD makes him push Mac away. #let's just say that realization has been bogging me down in my personal life the last couple of days. & this bummed me out. #Robert McElhenney. I'm outside the studio screaming at you to just let Mac move on & actually meet someone! #I'm not saying he deserves a relationship. but fuck... after 40 yrs of repression can he at least have a fling & fall out of love w/Den? #Dennis won't ever let him meet someone. & he'll never treat Mac like he actually cares about him.bc his own vulnerability terrifies him.😭

[cherrymoonvol6]

.

#been thinking about the placement of the showdown between belos and the hexsquad happening in ep 1 instead of anywhere else #mainly for lunter reasons if that is ever not obvious #(aka for a lunter endgame it makes more sense to have the ending of TTT happen in the last episode because Stakes) #(hunter actually dies and flapjack's sacrifice is the conclusion of the evelyn/caleb backstory) #(and it's pretty hard to work hunter or anyone from the hexsquad into the final showdown otherwise) #this is where the show shoots itself in the foot by having luz and hunter's relationship be on like tier C of importance #because it IS emotionally charged to see belos exerting that kind of power into the kid he groomed one last time #it IS emotionally charged to see luz wrestle with her determination to defeat belos and her love for hunter #it IS emotionally charged to know that someone will die here and it may be one of the kids #whereas the battle at the end of WAD is barely a battle and just meant to be the bow on top of luz's development #if luz and hunter's relationship had been more central to the show then hunter facing belos is a given AND a good narrative choice #who else gets to kill belos but the person created in the likeness of the one that made belos reach such lows to begin with? #or at the very least have the other people close to luz have some history with belos or something #eda couldn't care less about belos. same for king. and don't even get me started on amity............... #this is just a hexsquad problem btw like what is willow's bearing in this. the track system works wonders for her #in theory her life with belos as emperor is as good as it will ever be #same thing with gus #it's just hunter! that's the important piece there! #this show is just. broken. it truly refuses to bring up any of the actually interesting characters #sorry this rambling doesn't have a point besides 'toh is dumb sometimes' which is a thing i often say anyways #but man...... besides luz's resolution there's nothing to the ending. nothing.