#well if i ATE at ALL maybe i wouldn’t be shaking bc im so fucking tired

[bibleofficial]

maybe i need to start doing Less Drugs bc ive been fucked for a week straight & i can feel my heart getting mad @ me

#stream #ALSKLASKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKAL #like i know … she’s straining #i can feel u queen stop biting 🙄 #tomorrow … i’ll not wake up w uppers #well maybe i will but im going to tell myself i won’t #the way i’m obviously on drugs bc im constantly twitching & vibrating #sit still ? bro i cant even STAND still 😭😭😭😭 #well if i ATE at ALL maybe i wouldn’t be shaking bc im so fucking tired #all i’ve had today is cocaine ketamine nicotine & an ice cream 😭😭😭 #cheat day … #it was good ice cream to be fair & i got it ONLY BC KP WANTED ICE CREAM #worth it bc i also walked 5.5 miles alone w him #then i just did a mile w omar

[clareguilty]

Juniper and Pine

read it here on the AO3

A/N: Im so glad Geralt is sterile bc i hate pregnancy but love breeding kinks. I barely know anything about the witcher but I know I wanna suck this man dry like a capri sun.

Geralt of Rivia/Reader Rating: Explicit | smut, breeding, reader has a coochie and hair long enough to braid Word Count: ~2300

You found him at the inn. Shrouded in shadow, tucked away in the back just as always. Two flagons before him, one empty and the other half full. He had likely already eaten his fill.

 You sat across from him, ordering your own food and drink. Neither of you spoke.

 He watched you. Mostly hidden by your cloak, he watched your hands as you cut your meat and sipped your ale. Caught a glimpse of your eyes when you chanced to meet his gaze.

 Tension radiated from him. The set of his shoulders, the clench of his jaw. Icy rain pelted against the nearby window. The wind groaned lowly outside.

 A group of men erupted in spontaneous cheers on the other side of the inn, and he turned quickly to glare at them unnoticed before turning back to his intent study of you.

 So you studied him right back. Watching him from beneath the hood of your cloak as you ate. The meat wasn’t as warm as you would have liked but it was much appreciated after your many days of travel.

 He hadn’t shaved in a few days. And silver scruff was filling in along his jaw. His hair was pulled back away from his face, and you watched the crease in his forehead occasionally deepen as he considered you. He was unarmored, though he still had with him a sword smaller than the greatswords he usually traveled with. His arms were bare, his sleeves pushed up to the elbow, and his dark shirt was half unfastened down the front. He must have been unaffected by the cold winds and rain that had overtaken you on your journey.

 Your plate was cleared. Your cup was empty. You handed the barkeep your coins and offered your sweetest smile. Still, they scurried away when he stood, looming behind you. He had pulled his own cloak on, and you could feel the heat of him against your back.

 You walked in front, but he was leading you. As you navigated the muddy, moonlit streets, he silently directed you. A heavy wooden door, a cold dark corridor. His footsteps behind you. You stepped into the room and heard the bolt set in place.

 You unfastened your cloak, folding it neatly and laying it across the back of a chair.

 “You were supposed to arrive at sundown,” he said. You glanced to see him standing before the fire, eyes focused on the flames. They reflected the light like molten gold.

 “I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. A storm slowed me down.” It wasn’t a lie. The weather had not been kind the last few days of your journey. You unfastened your belt, leaving it with your cloak, and pulled the plaits from your hair, combing your finger through the strands.

 “Did you keep to the river?” he asked.

 You hadn’t.

 You were glad you were turned away from him so he couldn’t see your face. You know he had asked you to travel along the water, keeping to the valley. He was right that it was safer, but there were reasons for you to travel through the forest. Reasons he disapproved of.

 Fingers shaking, you started on the lacing of your surcoat.

 He stepped away from the fire, moving to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You leaned back against him, relaxing as he pressed his nose to your hair. His hands took over for yours as he undid the lacing. You trailed your fingers over his arms.

 “I smell the spruce of the mountains,” he said.

 You froze.

 “Juniper.” He inhaled again, breathing in the scent of the forest that you had unwittingly woven into your hair.

 He loosened the last of your laces and placed his hands over yours, holding you by your wrists.

 “I can smell the North on you.”

 Damn witchers. Damn them and their ridiculous senses. You tried to tug away from his hold, but he held you still.

 “You disobeyed me,” he said. “And then you lied to me. Your heart hasn’t stopped racing.”

 The rapid beat of your heart was only partially because of your dishonesty. He just had that effect on you. Surely he would know that by now.

 “Geralt-”

 He spun you quickly, backing you against the wall and leaning forward until his gaze was level with yours. His knuckles pressed to your throat, forcing you to lift your chin. “I told you it’s dangerous to travel the mountains alone.”

 “I had to go,” you insisted. “It didn’t take me any longer to travel, and I made it back just fine.”

 “And you thought I wouldn’t know?” His voice was low, a rumbling growl right beside your ear.

 “I thought it would be best to ask forgiveness than permission.” You raised your head, firm in your decision.

 “Of course,” Geralt scoffed. “It was foolish of me to even try and stop you.”

 “It was,” you agreed. You moved to step forward, to wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his chest. You had missed him, and you wanted to be close to him. He kept you pinned to the wall.

 “I believe you were supposed to be begging for my forgiveness?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

 Your eyes widened.

 “Go on then,” Geralt shoved you to your knees. “Beg.”

 Your knees would surely bruise from how hard you hit the floor. You reached forward to brace yourself on his thighs. He was watching you with smug satisfaction, already reaching to remove his belts and unfasten his trousers.

 You watched his hands, eager for what was to come. Your lips were already parted, tongue swiping over them unconsciously. Geralt chuckled and pulled his cock free.

 You stroked him gently at first, swiping your thumb over the tip and squeezing all the way down to the base. He was so thick your fingers couldn’t meet around him, but you didn’t mind. You loved the way his hips moved as you twisted your wrist. His stomach tensed and he inhaled with a hiss.

 He quickly grew bored of just your hand, though. His fingers threaded through your hair before he tugged sharply, pulling you towards his cock. You wrapped your lips around him obediently. Slowly, he pulled you farther down his length. Each movement of your tongue or lips earned you a reaction from him, and you turned your eyes up to watch his expression change.

 "You're going to take it all," he said, his voice low and rough.

 You moaned, eager to do exactly as he said. He rocked his hips forward at the same time he pulled you in by your hair, and you were silenced as he forced his cock down your throat.

 It was rough. Punishing. Exactly what you had earned by disobeying him. You weren't sure that obedience was worthwhile when this is what you got from going against his orders. You loved the scratch of his calloused fingers against your scalp and the low moans that escaped him every time you wrapped your lips around the base of his cock. He was taking his pleasure however he wanted, selfishly fucking your mouth.

 And you were dripping down your thighs with arousal. Geralt was so strong and ruthless -- but rarely with you. It was seldom you got to see him this way and you loved it. He must have missed you while you were away.

 "You’re an eager little whore aren’t you,” he growled, holding you down on his cock so he could fuck your throat. “Disobedient. Stubborn. Look at you.”

 Your eyes brimmed with tears, cheeks hot and flushed as you let him use you.

 “I’m close,” he groaned, eyes fluttering shut and head tipping back. His pace quickened, and then faltered. You held as still as you could as he finished down your throat.

 He pulled away as gently as possible, carding his fingers through your disheveled hair as you gasped and coughed. You nearly collapsed on the stone floor, but he was quick to catch you, taking you into his arms and pulling you to his chest. You let your fingers trail over the skin exposed along his collar. He pressed his lips to your hairline, carrying you to the wide, low bed that occupied the far wall. You pulled him down alongside you before he could get very far.

 “I need you,” you whispered, voice raspy. He let slip one of his rare smiles, pointed teeth gleaming in the low light, and you did your best to commit it to memory.

 “I can’t believe you took the mountain path in such a short amount of time,” he said, stretching out long on the bed and pulling you to lay against his chest.

 “I didn’t want you to know. It only takes four days to travel through the valley.”

 “Yes, and it takes six or eight to take the mountains. It’s impressive really.” His fingers absently searched out any bare skin they could reach, tracing idle shapes into your skin. “You’re nothing but trouble.”

 “I keep things exciting,” you teased. “But maybe I could put in a little more work to earn your forgiveness.” You let your hand trail over his chest, across his hard stomach and back over the fasten of his trousers.

 He raised an eyebrow. You could tell he was interested from the way his cock twitched beneath your palm. Sitting up, you removed the rest of your clothes. Geralt’s eyes never left you. It wasn’t until he caught sight of the glistening mess between your thighs that he moved.

 He was on you before you blink, looming over your back as he pressed a hand between your legs. “I could smell that you wanted me, but I didn’t know it was this bad.” He rubbed your pussy with the pads of his fingers. “You’re so needy. Like a bitch in heat.” His voice was right in your ear, warm breath fanning over your skin.

 You whined, rocking your hips against his hand. He pulled away just long enough to drag his shirt over his head and fling it away. His teeth latched onto your shoulder lightly as he pushed his trousers off as well. He pressed his cock against your ass, chuckling low as you pushed back to meet him, desperate to be filled.

 “Geralt, please,” you moaned.

 “Ah, so now you beg.” His voice was light and you wished you could see his smile. He settled his hands on your hips, lining himself up and sinking into you with a slow thrust of his hips. God, he was big. “You want me to breed you? To fill you up? Is that what you think you deserve?”

 He was enjoying himself. He wasn’t usually so talkative, and you loved the sound of his voice in your ear as he pounded into you.

 “Yes, please,” you nodded. He pressed you into the bed, pinning you beneath him and holding your hips so he could fuck you as hard as he liked. It was a blinding, delirious pleasure that you let yourself fall into, surrounded by Geralt, safe, protected.

 He pulled you from your haze by reaching to press two fingers to your clit. You came almost immediately. He didn’t let up as you shook through your orgasm, clenching around his cock and crying out in pleasure.

 “That’s it,” he said, never slowing the pace of his hips. “You’re going to come for me again.”

 It didn’t seem possible. You were already so overwhelmed. But he changed the motion of his fingers, and you felt it building again. He was getting close as well. You could tell by the way he occasionally slowed to savor the feeling of you around him, almost immediately followed by a blinding pace as he chased his own pleasure.

 His grip on your hip tightened, his teeth sinking into your shoulder once more as he rutted against you. The sharp sting of his canines made you gasp. Spurred on by his own impending orgasm, he pressed harder to your clit. Your eyes rolled back as his rough fingers, slick with your own arousal, dragged you to a second climax.

 He came as you did. His hips pressed tightly against yours as you shuddered and collapsed beneath him. You could feel his cock twitching inside you, filling you with his seed.

 A long moment of quiet, just the sound of your heaving breaths and the crackle of the fireplace. You melted onto the bed, stretching your limbs out long and sinking into a blissed out daze. Geralt wasn’t much better, laying half on top of you with his cock still buried inside. His breathing was evening out and you feared he would fall asleep.

 “Geralt,” you mumbled half-heartedly.

 “Mhm,” he responded, chest rumbling with the sound. You thought he was going to ignore you, but he moved after a second, pulling out of you with a hiss and searching for a way to clean up your mess. You rolled over, listening to your pulse gradually quiet and slow.

 It wasn’t much later that you were beneath the coverlet, once again nestled against Geralt’s side as he lay still. You weren’t sure if he was sleeping, his eyes were closed and his breaths so even and slow. You admired the softness in his features that you almost never got to see. It was only at times like this that you could catch him without a stern expression.

 “What are you looking at,” he asked, not opening his eyes.

 “You.” You splayed a palm over his chest. “I like it when you look happy.”

 “I am happy,” he said, not moving. “You make me happy.”

 You were glad he wasn’t looking so he couldn’t see the effect his words had on you. Your face grew hot, and you couldn’t hide your giddy smile. Curling tighter against him, you rested your head against his chest and let your eyes drift closed. “You make me happy, too,” you whispered.

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Masterlist of my other fics

#geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt/reader #geralt z rivii #witcher #the witcher #geralt of rivia/reader #geralt of rivia x reader #smut #lemons

[acerine]

Can I request a naruto x reader? Where she’s apart of team 7 and her and naruto was dating but they fight and break up. Which causes her to get depressed and develop an eating disorder and everyone gets worried when she shows up to train bc she looks sickly and her bones stick out badly. Just angst with happy ending? (You don’t have to write it if you’re uncomfortable with this topic. I suffer from anorexia and it’s hard to find stories on this topic. I do understand if you don’t wanna write it)

Hold Me

Pairing: Naruto x Reader

Warnings: Angst, eating disorder, like one cuss word

A/N: I don't have a problem with writing about disorders but I just get worried that i’m not portraying them properly, please reach out to someone if you are suffering. aaaand that ending wasn't as happy as I wanted but I think it works. 

I don't have much knowledge on anorexia so im so sorry if I didn't write about it properly. 

masterlist

uzumaki naruto

You groaned and plopped yourself on a bench near the entrance to the village, exhausted from the search for your boyfriend. He had dashed off immediately after training was finished without a word to you; again. You were getting worried due to how often this was happening, especially worried because he had been speaking to you less -- the only time you really saw him was during Team 7 training. You had asked Sasuke and Kakashi if they knew where he was going but they seemed to be just as clueless as you.

Looking up and seeing the sun set, you decided it was time to head home. He’d tell you whatever was troubling him eventually; you could only hope at least. “Nope -- don’t doubt him, he's never given you a reason to.” you softly mumbled to yourself, but the creeping heaviness in your heart told you otherwise.

As you walked through the village you felt your stomach grumble, the exhaustion from training and searching finally catching up to you. You decided to stop by Ichiraku’s -- it was on the way to your house and their ramen is rejuvenating, especially after gruesome training with Sasuke. shudder. He certainly gives training his all, the developing bruises were proof of that.

“Naruto that’s your 3rd bowl!” a voice giggled, bringing you back to reality.

Did they just say Naruto? Of course your boyfriend would be here! Why didn't you think of checking Ichiraku’s first? You quietly chuckled to yourself as you walked towards the voices, excited to finally see your boyfriend and share some ramen with him. But you certainly weren't expecting to see your boyfriend with his arm around Sakura nor did you expect to see how close their faces were

...

“Naruto...what are you doing?” your voice cracked slightly. Naruto and Sakura both halted their movements. Slowly he turned his head to gaze at you, “W-What are you doing here Y/n?”

Sakura looked guilty and avoided your gaze; immediately letting you know that she was aware of your relationship and what she was doing. “No seriously, what are you doing here with her?” you forced out, the strain in your voice becoming less evident, your anger overpowering your sadness.

“I was just catching up with Sakura, I haven't seen her since she started working with the other medical ninja!” He yelled out in an attempt to defend himself, his eyes darting away from you to his bowl. “Y/n calm down...it’s not what it looks like.” Sakura softly spoke. You scoffed, “Then why cant either of you look at me?”

No response.

After a minute of silence you had had enough, “Okay well don't stop on my behalf. Have fun with Sakura, Naruto.” Turning around, you began to walk away before feeling a grip on your upper arm, “Wait what's that supposed to mean?”

“Im pretty sure you know what it means.” Ripping your arm away from his grasp you sluggishly began your walk home, your body in pain from training and from your aching heart.

...

You closed the door behind you, locking it, and diving face-first onto your couch. The events from before finally registering in your head. Soft sobs began to fill the empty room and the couch pillows became stained with tears. What did she have that you didn't? You knew he used to have a crush on her when he was younger but you thought he outgrew it. Hell, you thought she had a crush on Sasuke, since when has she been interested in Naruto? Your mind was filled with questions.

Your stomach grumbled once again, this time louder than before. You didn't have the energy to get up and make yourself anything -- you weren't even sure if you even had food at home. Moving into a sitting position you glanced at the kitchen before getting up and heading to your room, you could eat in the morning after you slept off today’s events.

...

You woke up and slowly got ready for training; not mentally prepared to face Naruto after your break up. You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of his name -- making you aware of how difficult training was going to be. You sighed and began to make your way to the training grounds, taking a look at the kitchen. The last time you ate was yesterday morning but you felt fine, although the painful growl said otherwise. Shaking your head, you moved towards the door and left.

...

Naruto hadn’t showed up to training today. Kakashi said he had gone on a year training mission with Jiraiya. How convenient. They could both tell something was off between you two. “How about we cancel practice today? I think we deserve a day off.” Sasuke rolled his eyes at Kakashi, “And what are we supposed to do while you read a crappy book?”

“How about you two be actual teenagers for once?” Kakashi grumbled before heading off, leaving you and Sasuke alone with nothing to do. “Well since the moron and Kakashi aren’t here do you want to train with me?” Sasuke was pretty hardcore when it came to training — seriously, this kid did not know how to hold back. Training was life or death with him but you didn’t know what else you could possibly do on your free time other than wallow in your self pity, so you agreed.

Yeah, let’s just say you were better off moping in your room.

...

Your body felt so weak from training, the only fuel being emitted into your body came from a banana. You were constantly burning away calories and weren’t eating enough to refill them but you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat a proper meal. After finding Naruto and Sakura 12 months ago, you hadn’t felt hungry. Sure your body was weak and your stomach growled occasionally but you weren’t hungry. You hated how everyone said otherwise.

“Y/N are you sure you’re not hungry? You’re starting to look like a pile of bones...”

“Seriously, i think you should eat something.”

“Your movements are becoming sluggish, fix it.”

It was all you heard now. You felt fine. You looked fine. Why was everyone freaking out? Was it because you lost a bit of weight?!

Annoyed, you began to make your way to the meet Kakashi and Sasuke. Today would be the day Naruto returned and you just wanted to get it over with. Once you arrived all you were met with the usual concerned gazes from Kakashi, an indifferent Sasuke, but now you were met with a new pair of eyes. He looked good. Really good. 

Fuck, you couldn’t do this. “You know what...i’m not feeling too hot right now so i’m going to head on home.” Your words tumbling out as you spun around, ready to return the way you came. But your legs crumbled from underneath you, too weak to fully support you anymore. You could hear Kakashi and Sasuke’s cries of concern but you couldn’t focus on them, you could only focus on the one person you didn’t want to. “Woah, what’s wrong?!” Came his frantic voice — his arms capturing your frame before you could fully hit the ground.

Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.

You knew he could feel your bones, your oversized shirt no longer able to hide your secret. His eyes hardened before picking you up and carrying you to your house. You felt so tired and it felt like this was a dream. Everything was so hazy and you couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on. Did you actually collapse at the training field or did you hallucinate that? You couldn’t tell anymore.

But his hold on you felt real. His scent smelled real. What was he doing carrying you, you two broke up because he decided to get cozy with another girl.

Before you knew it you were being laid on your bed, “I’m going to go get some food, just...wait for me okay?” His voice cracked. Why did his voice crack? “Yeah uh okay...” Why were you agreeing to what he was saying? You watched as he walked away from your room, “What is going on?” you softly mumbled to yourself, attempting to regain your sense of reality. Staring up at the ceiling, you didn’t realize how much you changed in the year that you two broke up. Yeah okay maybe you lost some weight, and maybe you only left your room when it was time for training or missions, but was it really that odd? 

You saw Naruto coming back into your room and sat on the bed -- it dipping under his sudden weight. He had made you some soup, surprisingly not ramen, and held the spoon up to your lips, “Eat it.” You couldn't bring yourself to argue with him so you complied. The only sounds surrounding you two were the clanging of the spoon against the bowl and your small gulps. Your stomach felt warm, you had forgotten the feeling of a full stomach. 

A choked sob captured your attention. You looked up away from the bowl held in front of you and saw the tears streaming down your ex-boyfriend’s face. “Im sorry for doing this to you. I wouldn't have left if I knew this would happen.” His voice shakily cried out. You didn't know what to do, was your condition really that bad? He set the bowl onto your nightstand and cradled your cheek, his other hand wiping at his tears. “I’m so sorry.” He continuously cried out. 

The hand on your cheek felt warm, it was nice. Both of his hands now wiped at your cheeks, you hadn't realized you were crying but he was wiping your tears away for you. 

Maybe you were broken, maybe it was his fault, who could say? You pulled him into the bed with you and he held you in his arms -- he made you feel like you would be okay, he made you feel safe again. Sure you two had a long way to go before you could trust him but for now you were happy just being with him. Like it was before that day last year. 

“Please just hold me.”

#Naruto x reader #Naruto imagines #naruto imagine #naruto shippuden imagines #naruto shippuden imagine #naruto shippuden x reader

[mysteryofren]

The First Order Will Be Finished

chapter 33 of So Happy Together

Masterlist

note: i feel like this is the worst chapter ive written but im sad the first order is going to be ending soon :( i also involved some real life events in here bc obi-wan would be a die hard blm activist. anakin is an all lives matter bastard i dont care what you say.

 The day was finally here. Phasma was leaving tomorrow afternoon, and you all had 1 last day as a whole group.You all had slept over at your grandfather's house. You decided to stay there for the summer, and so did Elaine. Your grandfather was camping with you all, but he had to work so he wouldn't be able to help at Amilyns. You woke up and tiptoed out of your room. Peeking into his room you saw he was still in bed. He usually left for work at about 9. Looking at the clock on the wall you saw it was only 7:30. You walked to his bed and gently shook him awake. 

“Good morning my dear.” he said through a yawn. 

“Can I get the keys to the truck? We might need it to help Amilyn move furniture.”

“Of course they're in the den on the table beside my chair.” you nodded and went to get the keys when he called out to you. 

“Come back.” you walked back to the bed beside him, and he grabbed your face and pulled you to him. He kissed your forehead, and smiled before laying back down.

“I love you pop pop.” you said.

“I love you too. Have fun, and i'll see you tonight.” you walked out the room and headed downstairs. You got to the den and saw Gideon sitting in his bed. He usually slept with you, but every now and then he would get up to walk around or go to his bed. He stood up once he saw you, and trotted over. You scratched him behind his ears, and grabbed the keys from the table. Gideon followed you as you walked outside. You picked up a stray ball and chucked it out towards the forest. He ran after it, and you continued walking to the shed. After you opened it you grabbed the tents you knew were in there. You walked over to your car, and placed them in the trunk. Going back you noticed Gideon had given up his ball and had begun chasing a squirrel. He ran around a tree trying to see where it had gone when he saw it he began baying at it. You walked over to him, and patted his back when he sat down and just looked up the tree. Going back to the shed you grabbed the sleeping bags that were also stored in the shed. 

 You weren't sure why he kept so many in the shed. When you camped as a kid there were only 3 of you, but he had 2 tents, and 6 sleeping bags. Maybe they just kept them around in case they lost some. After you had your car packed up you went back inside with Gideon. Your grandfather was in the kitchen eating cereal. He was in his pajamas and was scrolling through his phone.

“Have you seen all those protests happening recently?”

“Not really, I haven't been on social media lately, why what's happening?”

“Just another innocent man being murdered by police.” He held the phone up to you as you looked at the article. 

“Thats horrible.”

“Yes I know. It seems as though not much has changed from when I was your age.” he had a sad look on his face. You walk over to him, and hug him before heading upstairs.

 Once you reach your room you see Phasma and Elaine are still asleep. You wake them up, and let them know you guys are leaving in a few minutes. You go to your closet and look for something comfortable to wear. You pick out a pair of plain black leggings and a baseball t-shirt that used to belong to your dad. You walk out while Elaine, and Phas get dressed, and go downstairs to feed Gideon. He laid next to the cupboard where you kept his bowl. As you brought it down he perked up, and went to the spot where you kept his food. Before putting it down after filling it you crushed up his meds and sprinkled them over his food. You placed it down and he eagerly began eating. Grabbing his leash you walked to the den and picked up his dog bed. This was going to be Gideons first time camping with you, and you knew it would be a fun little surprise for him. You walked out of the house and put them in your car with the rest of the camping supplies.

 When you came back in, Elaine and Phasma were downstairs already. You smiled as you asked them.

“You guys ready to go?” Phasma looked sad. You knew it was because it was her last day.

“I guess,” she replied. “I just don't want today to end. When I come back everything will be different.”

“It will be, but we won't be.” Elaine said as she hugged her. You all headed out to the truck and drove to the address Amilyn had given you for her new store front. It was deeper in the city, and was way bigger than her last place. It was on the corner of a building so it was the size of 2 stores. Perfect for how many patrons she had gotten since you met her. Once you got there you parked, and saw Hux was already there. You get out, and walk in with the girls and see him on a computer with Amilyn.

“Damn Red you got here fast.” Elaine teased him.

“He's helping me pick out art to hang in the cafe. Isn't he the sweetest?”

Phasma went over and patted his back. “He sure is.” 

He smiled at her and kept looking with Amilyn. You saw some chairs stacked up by the door and went over and grabbed 3 of them and set them up by the couch. You all sat down and looked at art for about an hour before you heard a car pull up.

“Matt and Kylo must be here.” you said as you looked out the window. First it was the sound of 3 car doors closing that seemed weird. Then you saw 3 people get out of the car. Matt was the first to walk in. Then Kylo. to your dismay the last one to walk in was Ben. He smiled at you while he walked in. You smiled back knowing this was going to be the hardest day ever. 

“Hey sorry we're late we had to stop at the store and get camping gear for us.” Matt said as he walked over to Elaine and kissed her.

“You guys are camping with us? I thought it was only you going with us for that.” you said to him as he finished greeting everyone else.

“Yeah. Mom heard me and Hux talking about it and told me to take them. I don't even think they want to be here.” Kylo was giving you a smirk that had Han written all over it.

“Oh I want to be there.” He said while still looking at you. Ben looked at him with anger in his eyes. He hit Kylos shoulder. Kylo looked at him and gave him a shrug.

“Alright, well, why don't we all get started while Hux keeps looking for art. Phasma, Matt, and whichever one of you is Kylo, help me get the curtains up over the window.” they all nodded and gathered together. She looked at Ben standing alone.

“I'm sorry I don't know your name.” she reached out to him to shake his hand, and he took it.

“Im Ben Ma’am.” he shook her hand and she smiled at him. 

“Well, Ben, I have some ovens I need moved around in the kitchen. Do you think you could do that for me?” 

“Course. I just need you to tell me where you need em” He responded.

“Alright Elaine, and Rose do you guys think you can set the tables up?”

“Yeah no problem.” Elaine said, You both walked over to set them up. Luckily they stayed built during the move. All you had to do was move them to their rightful places. Sadly there weren't enough tables to make the cafe look full.it was clear she was going to need more. You walked into the kitchen where she was helping Ben move the ovens around to let her know. 

“I ordered some more yesterday. I'll just put them in whenever. Do you think you could help Ben finish this? I'm gonna see what else needs to be done.” you nodded and took her place helping Ben with moving the last oven.

“So you excited for tonight?” he asked as you both began to move the heavy object. You figured if you act civil the night will go by quick.

“Yeah. I just wish we had more time. All of us together. I'm worried about Hux going so far away.”

“He's gonna be fine. He's smart. I know Matts really scared about Elaine leaving.”

“Me too. We’ve been with each other for 4 years.”

“You were only in 8th grade when you got here?” 

“Yeah it was before Luke did away with the middle school program.”

 You guys finally got done moving the oven and went into the main area to help more. Surprisingly you guys didn't take most of the day to get everything done. Amilyn had given you a few more things to do before it was close to time for you all to go. You had gotten almost everything set up except the few tables that were missing and the art Hux had ordered. You all sat on the couches she had set up. You had ordered pizza for everyone and you all sat with each other and ate.

“So what are you all doing after this?” Amilyn asked as she bit into her slice.

“We're heading to my grandfather's house to pack up for tonight.” you answered.

“That sounds fun. I can't believe this is my last time having all 5 of you with me.”

“6 actually.” Kylo corrected.

“Oh yeah Kylo is a first order member now.” you informed Amilyn. Ben looked confused for a second before he spoke.

“Wait, he's a part of your group now? He's barely here!” 

“Well all of us like him and he didnt fuck any of us over.” Elaine said passive aggressively while she took the last bite of her pizza into her mouth. Matt hit her shoulder and looked at her. 

“Well it's true.”  Ben looked sad for a second before going back to eating. You had told Amilyn what happened between you and him a long time ago so she knew what Elaine meant. 

“So Kylo when do you go back to school?” Amilyn asked, trying to get to know the newest member.

“School starts again in august, but i'm going back in about 2 weeks.”

“Oh good, at least I have time to get to know you.” She smiled at him and he attempted to smile back, but didn’t do so well.

“Well I do have something I want to say.” Amilyn put her pizza down on the small table in front of the couches.

“I have never in my life met a group of such amazing men and women like you guys. Hux, you are so smart, and kind. You are nothing like your father, and you will always be better than him.” she said facing him. He got up from his spot next to you and walked around the table to hug her.

“Elaine. You're such an extraordinary young woman. You are so beautiful, and you're so talented. Your personality is the biggest I've seen ever in my life and I know you're going to do so many things with your life.” you looked to Elaine to see she was crying and hard. Matt held her while she cried and Amilyn continued.

“I never had kids with my husband. We never wanted any. You all are the closest thing to children I have, and I couldn't ask for a better group of kids to love.” at that point you all got up to go hug her. All of you piled onto her, with the exception of Kylo and Ben. Amilyn had started crying too at some point while you all held onto her. 

“We love you amilyn. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I can't come here whenever I want.” Elaine said through her tears. You all got up, and you ran out to the truck to get your bag. You came back inside with it, and pulled out your camera. You handed it to Ben and grabbed Kylo's hand. You dragged him back over to where Amilyn was sitting. You sat him down, next to Amilyn, and sat next to her as well. Hux sat on the other side of you between the arm of the couch and you. Matt, Phasma, and Elaine got behind the couch, and crouched down to get in closer. You wrapped your arms around Hux, and Amilyn while smiling. Once Ben took the picture he handed it over to you. 

 The image developed, and you all looked at it. This was one of the last pictures you guys would take as a group. The last time you all would sit and talk with Amilyn. You handed the small photo over to her. You explained that you wanted her to have it to remember your last day as the first order with her. The last time she would have you all in one place together. The time came. You all had to leave. Amilyn had to go home to get some more paperwork done before she could officially open. You and the girls got into the truck, and Hux got into Matts car with him and the other boys. You began the drive back to your grandfather's house, and tried not to cry. It was 4 in the afternoon. By this time tomorrow. The first order will be finished.

tags: @wumboho @pylopenpolo @duty-isnt-always-honour

#ben solo #ben solo fanfiction #bensoloxreader #teen!ben solo #ben solo x reader #ben solo series #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x you #reader insert #teen!reader #kenobi!reader #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars tfa #star wars au #star wars tros #star wars #amilyn holdo #vice admiral holdo #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #matt the radar technician #oc #captain phasma #armitage hux #general hux #grandpa! obi wan #obi wan kenobi

[bastardnev]

Cheat Day

in which i inexplicably decided to write a fic about mustafa’s cereal-nutella-oreos breakfast combination

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville Additional Tags: damn i guess i gotta start tagging aew in my nevstafa fics huh, Fluff, Silly, mischief involving nutella and oreos Series: Part 1 of Jess Has Too Many Fics In Her Notes Summary: Neville wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the scene in his kitchen that morning.

(ao3 link)

i ended up making a new tag list bc its been so long since i last posted a nevstafa fic + i didnt wanna tag ppl who might not be interested anymore -- im going off the likes/replies to the post i made abt this yesterday so if you’re not on the list and you wanna be added lemme know !! i’ll add you 🥰

tag list: @sailor-slam-dunk @residentjoth @riveliciousx @lambchopviking @storyranger

Neville wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the scene in his kitchen that morning.

He had heard Mustafa get out of bed earlier, but he figured he was just going to get breakfast started — it was his turn, after all. Technically, he still was, but not at all in the way that Neville anticipated. Rather than finding him cooking the pancakes they’d agreed upon the night before, Neville instead walked in on him preparing a bowl of cereal in a large serving dish he’d placed on the island. This in itself wouldn’t have been so odd (other than his choice of bowl) if he didn’t follow up his milk pouring with a big search around the kitchen. He was rummaging through the cabinets that lined the walls for... for something. Something that Neville couldn't quite figure out, especially since the only thing he could plausibly be looking for was a spoon. What a can of olives had to do with anything, Neville had absolutely no idea.

And so, he choose to ask him about it. “What the hell are you doing?”

Mustafa glanced over at Neville quickly before putting the can back and going right back to his hunt. “Oh, good morning. Where’s your snack stash?”

Neville blinked, confused. “My what?”

“Your snack stash. Y’know, where you keep the snacks?”

“I— I know what a snack stash is, Mustafa.”

“Then where’s yours? I know you have one — everyone does. Fess up.”

What was he trying to do? The fact that he still hadn't given Neville a clear answer was a bit concerning. “What does it matter where my snacks are? Wait, forget about that, aren’t you supposed to be cooking pancakes?”

"Who said anything about me making pancakes?"

"You did. Just last night."

"Ehh, that was just pillow talk."

"You told me about how badly you were craving them when we were eating dinner." Why would they be discussing pancakes during pillow talk, of all things?!

Mustafa scoffed, and he offered no further response other than continuing to push aside the items stacked up on the shelf. "Are you planning on answering my question at all?" Neville crossed his arms. "What are you doing?"

“You'll see!" Mustafa responded when he finally decided to speak again. "I’ve got something even better than pancakes in mind."

Mustafa placing a breakfast food above pancakes was almost enough for Neville to consider the idea that he'd been replaced with an imposter. Almost. “And, that is...?”

“A secret — until you tell me where your snack stash is, of course.”

Neville sighed, rolling his eyes. He knew there was no getting out of this no matter how hard he tried. “Oh for the love of God, it’s the one under the microwave,” he at last confessed.

“The only one I didn’t check!” Mustafa grinned, and he darted over to the appropriate cabinet, digging around excitedly. “Ooh, you’ve got a lot of good stuff in here!”

“No need for the commentary, just take what you need.”

“You’re pretty defensive over your candy, huh?”

“You’ve got the biggest sweet tooth out of anyone I know — how can I not?” Now that he thought about it, seeing as Mustafa now knew where he hid all of his sweets, Neville would probably have to find a new hiding spot once this visit was over...

“Hmm.” Mustafa pouted as he moved a variety pack of mini candy bars aside. “You bought the Oreos I asked for, right?”

“Of course.” Like Neville honestly wasn’t going to do so after Mustafa practically begged him to pick some up when he went on his most recent grocery run.

“You do love me!” The package of cookies in his hands, Mustafa triumphantly brought it over to the island, pulling back the seal.

“Can you tell me what you’re doing now?”

“Patience, Nev! Geez. You can’t rush these things, you know?”

Neville wanted to retort, but the distinctive crunch of Mustafa crushing a fistful of Oreos over the serving dish interrupted him, and all he could do was watch in silent awe (and confusion). Mustafa repeated this process over and over again, unblinking, until he’d gone through one of the sleeves. “There...” He muttered, sealing the pack back up and putting it aside. “Now for the last part...”

Last part? Neville found himself a little afraid to say this out loud. His question received an answer anyway, however, as Mustafa then returned to the cabinet, pulling out the large jar of Nutella that Neville was secretly hoping he wouldn’t notice. (Man goes through jars quicker than I can count.) "Not really much I can work with here..." Mustafa mumbled as he put the lid aside, looking at the jar's contents. "You ate it all on me. Naughty boy."

"I'm... sorry?"

"Better be." Mustafa then went to the silverware drawer and pulled out a big spoon, and before Neville could wrap his mind around what was happening he'd scooped out a healthy amount. "This'll work, though."

"What—"

Neville wasn't able to finish this sentence, as just as he was going to Mustafa let the Nutella drop right on top of his cereal. Neville looked back and forth between the bowl and Mustafa, who appeared to be debating what to do next with his messy spoon. Rather than put it in the sink like Neville assumed he would, however, he shrugged, dipping it into the bowl.

It was right as he was about to put a spoonful of cereal into his mouth that Neville decided to go through with asking his question. "Okay, what the hell?!"

Mustafa paused, spoon hanging in the air. "What?"

"What is this..." Neville gestured towards the bowl, trying to find the right words to describe what he was seeing. "This... concoction?"

"It's... my cheat day breakfast?" Mustafa said this as if it were the most obvious thing ever, like he couldn't understand why Neville so was baffled. "Duh?"

"How did you even come up with this?"

"Easy — I woke up one morning, couldn't decide what I wanted for breakfast, so I just mixed everything I wanted together. It's better than you think it is, really."

Neville pointed to the package of Oreos. "You wanted to eat those for breakfast?"

"You haven't thought about eating cookies for breakfast before? What are you, an amateur?"

"And— And the Nutella, what were you planning on doing with that if you hadn't thought to throw everything together?"

Mustafa didn't respond, instead choosing to avert his gaze. Suspicious, Neville followed up with, "You weren't seriously considering eating it straight from the jar, were you?"

Mustafa made eye contact with Neville again, and neither of them said anything for a solid few seconds. Eventually, though, Mustafa shot Neville a sheepish grin, and the latter brought his hand to his forehead, slowly shaking his head. "Oh, God..." He let out a breath. "All this, yet you still have those abs..."

"I sure do." Mustafa brought the spoon back to the cereal and mixed it up a bit. "Now, maybe instead of pickin' on me you can come give this a try. You might like it."

"I have no use for any of that."

"False — everyone needs this in their lives."

"Not everyone needs something loaded with sugar so early in the morning."

"What are you gonna have instead, then? Egg whites?" Mustafa shuddered at his own suggestion, and he held a spoonful out towards Neville, who leaned away. "You know you want toooo..."

Neville looked at the spoon with a narrowed gaze. He knew damn well that he gave in to Mustafa way too often (something about the look in his eyes, he figured). He'd told himself that he would stop being such a pushover when it came to him, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for him to stick to his word for once. Mustafa wanted him to try some food combo that he swore was amazing, something that Neville thought was completely ridiculous. He would be lying if he said he found it to be anything but.

...But he would also be lying if he said that he wasn't at least a little curious as to what Mustafa saw in it. Not to mention that he was giving him the dreaded eyes...

Neville said nothing. Instead, he took a few steps closer to Mustafa, allowing him to put the spoon into his mouth. "There we go..." Mustafa took it out a moment later, giving Neville a second to chew and swallow before asking, "It's good, isn't it?"

It was. "It's fucking disgusting."

"Liar, liar..." Mustafa singsonged, and Neville huffed. There was no point in denying it.

"Maybe you're right..."

"Ha! I knew it."

"Why do I always agree to go along with your nonsense..." Neville lamented, and Mustafa chuckled, leaning over to give him a kiss.

"Because you love me," he replied as he pulled away, and Neville struggled to hide the little fond smile that forced its way onto his face.

"...Yes, I do."

#also i think the likes on that post got a bit messed up so if u liked the post but i forgot you then lemme kno !! i'll add u to the List(TM) #mustafa ali #pac #wwe fanfiction #aew fanfiction #is that a tag??? it is now #jess.txt #long post #just in case the read more decides not to work

[bleusarcelle]

Ooo can you tell me more about it?? And I mean maybe he was but I’m p sure it was probably the guy who lived here before and killed himself

the fucking guy who fucking what.

I GAVE LIKE ELEVEN POSSIBLE ANSWERS AND I DIDN’T GET IT RIGHT? FFS.

AND YEAH DEF OKAY SO.

This was like two years ago? Idk, something like that, so two important things you need to know before the story:

My friend is really sensitive about these topics, as in, she can see and feel all that cheese. She has powers or something or she’s something? Idk, but that crazy shit follows her.

She has two dogs. Melody and S&P. They are both also sensitive about those topics too but Melody is more so.

OKAY ALRIGHT SO. I went to my friend’s house (A, for short) to have a sleep over, just she and I, all alone in her big house because her parents went to a short vacation and she’s an only child. So, home alone.

We laughed, we saw movies, we ate, bla bla bla, and then, it was around one in the morning? I think? That we decided to call it quits and go to sleep.

A went to get both of her dods, so they could slep with us, and then she made a round all over the house to turn the lights off. Every single one of them.

Now, important fact: next to the door, there’s the staricase, where it has small tiny lights that only light up when there’s movement near them. 

Okay, so; she finished and came back to the room. A’s bed is like a big one, a queen size I think, so I always sleep on the left side of the bed, near the door and she the right side, near the big window. 

Idk how or why but at some point, I woke up, like, my conciousness was awake, but my eyes were still closed. Which is weird because it was as if I could still see what was around me, still on my friend’s room, still dark but there was something.

In my head, it was as if I was looking around me, and from start to finish, there was this really big arc? or half a circle above the bed, like, stargint from my side of the bed and finishing on A’s side, and there were eyes and blurry boddies above that arch, looking down on us.

It felt like, as if we were in a bubble and those things were outside the bubble, not being able to come in, ya know?

I brushed it off, tho, bc,??? Come on, weird ass dream. Then Melody, who had settled down earlier in the night by my feet, moved as if impatiently, and I was like ?? Okay? and I let her do her thing. But she wouldn’t stop.

So, I waited, eyes still closed but I paied more attention to my surrondings and her movement, trying to calm myself and then, she fucking stands up and moves towards the edge of the bed, face directly on the door and making soft growling noises.

I fucking sit up like a rocket and I stare at the door unblinking. From the corner of my eye I catch as A slowly sits up with me and she’s like ‘so felt it too?’

and I was like ???? bitch what? 

And A was like “yeah, like, look, you see that light?”

And that’s when I finally look down and there’s a small gap between the door and the floor and there’s a fucking light shining through it. A light. A fucking light.

And then A is like ‘dude, i turned all the lights off, you saw that. it most be the staircase’s lights, that fucking turn on with mvoement’

and rememeber? home alone. 

I fucking just like, froze and then grabbed her wrist and pulled her down with me, laying back down on the bed like ‘ok ok ok sshh sshh lets just…lets just lay down’

so we lay down for like five seconds before I fucking sit up again and I’m like ‘yeah, no fuck that bitch ass thing, what the fuck is happening’

and the light in the gap was still there ya know, and A was like dude idk.

So, shaking like my hands trying to get pumped, im like, ok, turn on the tv so we can have light around us and gimme your cellphone to use it was a flashlight while I record this shit with my phone.

So we do that, and then we move to the door and im like ….”ok you open it, you are the one with the powers” and she looked so unimpressed but she still opened it and dude, dude.

the small hallway in front of us, that at the end of it is A’s parent’s room and a craft room, was empty and the only fucking light that there’s on it, was fucking on.

Like, let’s process that. The only light on that hallway, a light that is connected with a swtich and not my movement, was on.

I.was.shaking.

and also laughing.

it’s my copin mecha.

so im like??? I turn to A and she’s like, nop, I def turned that off earlier and then she looks around supiciously before she turn it off by the swtich on the wall and I freak bc ‘dude, if something lighted up it’s bc they like it, let them have the fucking light and leave us alone?’ 

so, anyways, we leave, going back to the room, and we try to calm down and then I tell her like ‘ok, but it’s wierd because just before that, I was having this dream where some shadow ppl were surronding us’ 

and she fucking freezes and slowly turns to me and she’s like ‘um….I had that dream too.’ 

and I was like ‘………well there goes my sleep.’

and yeah! that’s basically it!!! it was WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD and so interesting and exciting.

#bleu answers #anon #paranon

[survivorindia]

Whatever Forever- jaiden (Episode 3)

Anyway!!!!!!!! I just got elimed and whew I'm just feeling so many emotions. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown the immunity to save lexi, maybe I should've kept ace over Ashley,maybe I never really had a chance in this game in the first place. Overall? I just feel bad for promising lexi that I'd help keep her in the game and then immediately flopping, and for Kendall, leaving my one tru ally by herself, I hope the swap goes in her favour and that both of them can vote out the rest of the returnee heroes, some revenge is always nice TBH. Ashley, gav and Alex, I really did trust two of you and I was gonna stay loyal so it sucks that y'all flipped so easily, of course the fact that Ashley had an idol probably wasn't the best thing, but we could've figured something out. I hope the three of you get elimed soon or at least prejury bc you know the great dan whatever his last name is said flippers never win and well it's no fun seeing snakes get far either TBH ! And I know y'all won't be reading this til later but good luck newbies I hope y'all truly slay this game bc really some of these returnees I would really rather see get elimed except maybe Kendall and Jordan pines. This has been a fun game for the most part, the challenges were great, the hosts were greater (even David Robb) and I met some good people in my short stay here! Do I have some regrets? Yeah but I wouldn't have wanted to play this game any other way. Keep an eye out for me in the returnee season :~) single digits I'm still coming for ya!

So not much has happened this round. We won, yet again. And my #1 ally out of everyone in this game, my good friend Monte, was sadly voted out. But best believe I'm gonna win this game for him!

What in the heckie is Nicole doing?

What the FUCK? These people need to CHILL out. It's our fault - we made the mistake, the hosts don't have to babysit us every step of the way. Now we gotta own it and win this tiebreaker - honestly, Danny g'luck (I WAS FORCED TO MAKE THIS S/O) to these people, because they are getting on my nerves with their complaining rn. 

We keep winning. I love that. But Jordan Pines might wanna blindside me... so to that I say:

Am I exaggerating? A little bit. I think. I don't know. I'm being weird and emotional so idk what the fuck I'm actually thinking... I hope I get voted out next at this point yay

Okay, everyone listening? Two common misconceptions about pegging: If a man likes pegging, he must be gay. If you peg a straight man, he will become gay. Cue Laughter and Eye Roll - Both of these are so ridiculous as to be laughable on so many levels. Gender preference has nothing to do with the sex toys you like to play with...or the area of your body you like your partner to play with. For those of you who have fears around this - please excuse the laughter...though I do find the concept quite humorous. Think of it this way...If a straight man enjoys getting pegged by a woman there is no reason whatsoever to think that all of a sudden he will crave sex with men. Just like if a straight woman enjoys receiving oral sex from a man there is no reason whatsoever to think that she will suddenly want to be a lesbian. See how silly that sounds? (Now if the man is bisexual, just ignore all this and go to the next blog post because he prefers both genders so these points are moot.) A man who wants his ass fucked is gay, you say? Bullshit. (I seem to be in a sassy mood tonight.) Remember, the male ass is the source of an amazing amount of pleasure via the prostate gland. Whether a man experiences that pleasure from his lady's finger(s), his own finger(s), a toy (there are so many), his lady’s strap-on, a butt plug, his partner's finger(s) or his partner's cock makes no difference. All of the above are simply various examples of the pursuit of pleasurable sensations from an ass. Many really nice toys are specifically made for anal pleasure! That should give you a bit of pause. Maybe the people buying these items know something....just like the 150 - 200 million gay men in the world. But wait - I'm probably confusing you... Unexplored Ecstasy - The point here is that anal exploration is about pleasure, not an indicator of gender preference. What I find a shame is that so many straight men will not indulge in that pleasure because of these misconceptions along with the bullshit social stigma attached to it. Maybe it's just me (standing here ready with my strap-on), but that sounds like a lot of pleasure being abstained from...and oh my the word abstinence  in any form is not a popular one amongst the pleasure seekers that have found their way to Pegging Paradise! I am certain there are men out there who secretly would love to have their ass teased with...well, a variety of things. These men hesitate to ask for it because they fear their partner's reaction to their request or the reaction of others if they found out. All of this is fed by the original misconceptions as well as a puerile dose of idiotic homophobia. Get over it, people! I know...easier for me to say here in Southern California when some of you might be in conservative strait-laced sex-negative hell somewhere. But hey - we need to start somewhere, right? Are you going to let other people's narrow-minded attitudes affect your pursuit of pleasure in the privacy of your own bedroom (hotel room, board room, etc)? I think not. No Fear - So Ladies, I urge you to get over your own fears that if you fuck your man in the ass with a strap-on dildo the gay fairy will instantly appear and sprinkle him with magic gay dust and you will lose him forever to his own gender. Okay? If you can't let go of that fear, you have no business strapping on a dildo. I mean really...are you going to follow him around after you fuck him and be suspicious of all of his encounters with males? Let it go, ladies. And when you get your man where you want him and you have your way with him...don't kiss and tell. Especially if you live in one of those strait-laced sex-negative hell places I spoke of previously. Instead, treasure the vulnerability your man has shared with you and let him know that come hell or high water or nosy girlfriends, he can trust you to keep that part of your sex life confidential. Pleasure Seeking - Gentlemen, the other part of the formula here is you. If you are clear about which gender you prefer, that's your stable base. Do your best to let go of any homophobic comments you have heard, read or even, heaven forbid, said. Your anus is a part of your body that, when properly stimulated, offers a whole new world of pleasure. Orgasms with anal stimulation are most times much more intense and produce much more cum (that's always fun). Given just that, why wouldn't you want to at least check it out? If you love it, all that means is that you love getting fucked with a strap-on by the woman who makes you hot. There is no "Insta-gay" phenomenon that happens if your lady pegs you. As one man put it: I like breasts with my strap-on, thank you! Pegger/Peggee - Wouldn't it be awesome if people who were into pegging walked around in T-Shirts that said, simply, "Pegger" or "Peggee"? I mean - relatively few people who are not kink-oriented know the sexual meaning of the word so lovingly created by Dan Savage. So the masses of people leading lives of quiet desperation (read: sex-negative) wouldn't have a clue what it meant. And if asked, one could always say with a smile, "Look it up on Wikipedia". Just make sure it's a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile as you say the words and they just might look it up. Presto, you have just spread the word about a luscious, sexy, pleasure-filled act that couples can add to their carnal repertoire. You may have changed their lives forever...in a rather explosive way.

AHAHAHAHAHA @GAVIN

THOSE BOYS WANT TRIBAL TN BECAUSE WE LOST IMMUNITY AND IM SO FUCKING NERVOUS I DONT WANT TO DIE I HAVE SO MANY PLANS IF JORDAN SACRIFICE ME FOR NICOLE OKOKOKOK 

So... mission successful. Let's quickly debrief: 1. Ashley trusts me a lot more after I told her details that Alex told me in private. Making Ashley feel like she was on shaky ground further resulted in her letting me know that she has an idol. Whether or not it is true is besides the point... the true crux of the matter is that I have Ashley left in the game with three people she can't trust and me... so that means I ought to be her #1. 2. Alex and I are as tight as ever. Even despite giving Ashley information, I was able to quickly fix that bond. I genuinely like and trust Alex, but I can't let the cloud my judgement. He's very close to Kendall, which scares me, but I have looked to leverage that in our post-tribal call. In my conversations with Alex, I want to make him feel like he is calling the shots while still looking to provide input. Thus far, I think I have done that. With Ashley allegedly having the idol (information that was supposed to be "kept secret" but was totally not "kept secret" xD), I have talked to Alex extensively about the next vote and I've made a deal with him to take out Karen rather than Kendall... while also *hopefully* keeping Ashley's idol in play. My goal here is to come out of this with both Ashley and Alex working independently, but all in all, nonetheless in my best interests. In short, the way this tribe seems to be shaking out is that there is this façade of autonomy and power that Karen and Kendall have. They have this illusion that they call the shots, while it really is Alex and I that hold the cards in this dynamic. Kendall, to get Alex completely on my side... I need to spare you to gain his trust, BUT MARK MY WORDS I'M GOING FOR YOU! *Nothing against you, just your social game is very very strong but annoyingly obvious too ;3* Oh. And Ace got voted out too... I guess.

I never really made an opening confessional, so here I go I guess? I am really... really excited to be back. It's so easy for so many people to say "Oh yeah I've played a ton, people want me back." We see it with a ton of people, and that's not a bad thing. People want to see them back for a big reason. But I never had that. Coming off of Malaysia I was hated and people did not really respect me for who I was and thought that I was some awful person and player. It definitely hit me hard a bit, but at the time I was like, okay that's fine, there's other seasons. Tumblr does a lot. And so I applied. I applied for Sri Lanka with Marie and didn't make it. I applied for Rebels vs Rogues and didn't make it. I applied for Bora Bora and didn't make it. I believe I applied for Generations and wasn't casted, or I didn't believe I was going to have time due to time conflicts. I wasn't contacted for Maldives. I missed the application for Tenochtitlan. I applied for Sicily and didn't make it. I believe I applied for Bangladesh and didn't make it. I wasn't contacted for Arabia (though there may have been apps and I missed it). I wasn't contacted for Myanmar. And I was super excited to finally get this chance to play in Lazio but I missed the acceptance of my application. And going back to all the times I had tried to play or just was kind of ignored it was rough. I kind of thought I was done. And now I'm here playing in India. After over a year on and off of trying to play this game again. And to be honest, I'm hella pumped. Because I've missed out on so many chances to play. I think it says something when even parts of my Malaysia cast aren't even excited to see me on the season. This is kind of my opportunity to prove people wrong. My personality showed even at this Tribal where I literally told Gavin his answer to the Tribal Question was awful and completely wrecked Ace after he wished us a heartfelt goodbye. I want people to know that I am playing as hard as I can. I'm not here to change who I am to impress people. I'm here to show who I am so that I can prove to people that I'm not some worthless player who doesn't deserve to be back; I definitely feel like some people think that is the truth. I'm going to prove people wrong. Count on it.

I know I said I wanted to be a villain but goddamn, this is pretty fucked up. Oh right context because mind reading technology hasn't been invented quite yet. To make a long story short, Karen made an alliance chat with our victim (Ashley) and now it has a name and now it is terrible. Alex brings up voting Karen and that raisin I call a heart was all like "YAAASS QUEEN!" And my brain was tempted by the #bigmove but getting rid of Karen... is truthfully not to my benefit. Sure Karen is manipulative but she seems to trust me. She confides in me with information and she includes me in all her fucked up little schemes. In a sense, I'm the Trish to her Tony. If Trish and Tony were two gay and emotionally stunted children of course. Plus she has the connections to the other side that could get us far into the game and I am confident enough in our friendship that she will stay by my side. Of course, I will remain wary of her but for now I think our relationship is mutually beneficial. Karen needs me for back up in her schemes. I need Karen to get where I want to get. She gives me information. Information I can collect in to a giant web of evidence, so when the day comes when I turn on her, I'll have the evidence via receipts to back me up. Karen never deletes anything, I am planning on using that to my advantage.

So I was reallllyyyyyy close to using my idol tonight, and I totally would have wasted it if I had. Gavin advised me that I would be okay, and so did Alex and Kendall but like something didn't feel right. I had heard that Ace heard my name from Karen and I was like well shit. She had literally just today come to me and told me that we were all good and that she didn't hold the last game we played together against me. Like there are no hard feelings. but due to everything that was happening I kind of doubted that. But tbh I love Gavin and Alex and really hope we can work together for the next few rounds. Or even longer, who knows. I still am unsure about Karen and Kendall, as I don't really know them that well. But hopefully everything works out.

Oh I also definitely told Gavin I have an idol.... idiot move? We shall see. 

I am so glad we won immunity. It for sure would have been me or Lexi next if we had gone to tribal. It looks like Johnny and Whitney aren't too upset that I didn't vote with them but I can't take my chances. I had been searching for the idol for a while with no luck so I asked Lexi to help me find it. She found it within a few hours lol. We didn't find the idol but we found the idol grid. It's relieving to know it couldn't have been found right away. This gives me and her time to find it. Hopefully we'll get it before anyone else and we'll be set for the rest of the time on this tribe. I doubt anyone else on our tribe has found the idol page or would suspect that we found it. I'm thinking long term so the game plan would be using the idol on lexi and getting rid of Liam. If we happen to go to a tribal council after that we could try to get Whitney or Johnny to flip to our side. Even if they don't want to we can always force a tie so Lexi and I still have a strong chance of succeeding. We just have to find that idol!

This has been a crazy round. I'm glad the immunity challenge was changed to something that required more skill. The tribe worked very well as a team. There's an obvious divide between us so I'm glad we were able to get some time to bond and unite. As for the results, it was upsetting that the returnee heroes made such a big deal out of not getting theirs in on time. The rules clearly stated it was first to 10 pm. I'm sure we would've accepted defeat if we didn't send it faster than them. It was bad sportsmanship on their part. The tiebreaker was so stressful. I stepped up and I was so afraid of letting the team down. I knew if we went to tribal my only ally left, Lexi, would be voted off. There was a lot of pressure on me and I was honestly so anxious. I felt so victorious beating Kendall by 7 minutes. I hope my tribemates remember this next time we go to tribal and don't vote me out. I feel like I've done a lot for our tribe so I think I'm safe for now. I'm really hoping the tribe swap comes within the next two rounds. We can only win so many immunities and Lexi and I are on the bottom so we really need it asap.

#youdontgetmycrownjustcause