#we’ll just have to heckin make do

[thresholdbb]

Fight me

#now we just fucking around #it’s like being pecked to death by ducks #early seasons she didn’t wanna fight enough so moved some of her PERPETUALLY PISSED later seasons attitude earlier #i know it’s bad there was no ref but then it made me laugh at how bad it is #the first version she has so much neck like a heckin giraffe #the first sketch (on paper) she had so much neck like a heckin’ giraffe #make bad art or whatever #im having fun and that’s what matters right probably not oh we’ll fight me #mostly color picked from an lcars console cause no rules who cares #can i blame the 4pm coffee? yeah no probably not #oh god go to bed what are you doing thresholdbb get a life touch grass stop being so weird #hopelessly LOST IN THE DELTA QUADRANT #gonna repeat don’t get a brain injury all your skills go out the dang window #im sorry I’ll look for where the multitudes went

[akechi-official]

Okay here’s my thoughts on the leaks.

P5T looks weird and I’m intrigued but I need more info. Mostly I’m glad for the confirmed English dubs, meaning Western release is likely going to be day to day with Japan release. Very cool.

Anyway so P3R-

A lot of people seem disappointed, and I don’t get it. I feel like Atlus fans are never satisfied. We’ve been demanding a full P3 remake for years, and Atlus delivered! It’s on P5’s engine and everything, what more do you people want? I’ve seen people call it “ugly” which I don’t get at all. It doesn’t look incredibly polished, but it’s leagues better than the original persona 3. I’m not making excuses for Atlus, but I’m not going to sit here and whine about a freaking full from the ground up Persona 3 remake. That’s heckin awesome.

The reaction feels very similar to like, everyone’s reaction to every announcement Atlus makes. It’s ridiculous. At least wait until the game comes out before you start complaining.

Secondly, some speculation: I have heavy doubts about FeMC being in the game. That is disappointing, but not unsurprising. Technically it’s still possible she’ll be there, but I don’t think so. If she was in the game, they definitely would’ve showed her in this trailer, and if they had plans to develop her she would’ve already been ready by now. So I don’t think we’re gonna get FeMC. I do think it’s likely we’ll get paid DLC later that let’s us play as FeMC, and I do think that if that were to happy everyone would complain again because “FeMC was available in the base game” despite that not being true. But I digress. We’re not getting FeMC, at least not upon release.

I do hope Atlus doesn’t release a second version of P3R. I’m not counting it out as a possibility, but I think it would be a waste of time, and it definitely wouldn’t be received well.

As far as the Answer, there’s still a chance that will be in the game. It’s post game content so maybe they don’t want to show it yet. I’m not counting it out totally, but I’m not holding my hopes up.

I think the most likely thing Atlus is gonna do is a completely new side story, with one or two new characters, right in the base game. I doubt they’ll just rerelease vanilla P3. Maybe I have too much faith in them, idk. If it’s not in the base game, they’ll definitely release paid DLC with new content, just like they did for Soul Hackers 2. And the new characters are gonna be extremely controversial and half the fanbase is gonna love them and half are gonna call them garbage.

Also, just as a side note, I am curious why no voice acting was shown in this trailer. I don’t doubt we’re getting an English dub, Atlus would be incredibly stupid to not give us one, but I am curious about it. Mostly because I’m wondering if they’re gonna recast Junpei or not. They didn’t for the rerelease, but that wasn’t a full remake. Odds are higher they’re gonna recast him, and if they don’t that’s gonna be another source of controversy for this remake.

My one hope? That they revamped the social links. It’s already clear they updated the gameplay to stay current, but we didn’t get much idea how the social links are gonna go. I really hope they introduce social links with the male party members, and allow you to friend zone the girls. If they just kept the vanilla social links, it’s going to be worse off for it. And if FeMC is never in the game, at least we’ll get new social links for MaMC with Akihiko, Junpei, Shinjiro, Ken, and Ryoji for the first time ever.

#persona 3 #persona 5 #persona 5 tactica #persona 3 reload

[theprinceofmarvel]

Jennifer Walters Headcanons

please know that this is all fluff,very minor angst!

Keep in mind you’ve been with Jenn since y’all met at a coffee shop when she was cramming for finals at law school. You just so happened to always be there when she needed caffeine. (I love a meet cute leave me be)

Angst?

The was only ever one bump in the road and that was when she went missing for 2 weeks. She didn’t tell you anything at all. You just knew she was with her cousin Bruce and they were on their way to her parent’s house for dinner. It drove you mad. You were so angry and frustrated with her when she came back home. “JENNIFER SUSAN WALTERS! WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!?” She flinched at the sound of her full name. Ruh roh. At this point you were in tears and finished off with “I called your parents and you weren’t there. I thought you were missing or dead. I love you Jenn, but you need to tell me about these things. I don’t care where you go because my heart will always follow. I’d appreciate it if you just gave me a heads-up about a change of plans, okay?” You were both crying and there was a lot of hugging and kisses. Jennifer was still afraid to hurt you though.

The day you found out was the day she fought Titania while presenting a case. She didn’t know you were waiting outside of the courtroom for her. You had wanted to surprise her with lunch at her favorite cafe. When you heard the crash you ran in and tried to find her. When you didn’t, you felt your heart rate pick up. Where could she be? When your eyes met with green they slowly became the hazel you know and love. She slowly moved towards you only for you to step back. “So this is what you kept from me?” She didn’t know how to respond. She just wanted to protect you. “We’ll talk when you come home. I need to think for a minute. I love you.” And you walked out. She knew she was in the dog house the moment she saw you in your shared apartment with your hands on your hips. At least you weren’t upset for long after she explained everything.

Fluff!

Jennifer Walters loves you just as much as you love her. The thought of you literally keeps her from hulking out most of the time. If she’s already in hulk form and can’t go back to your Jenn you just need to hold her hand. She’s a puddle of love and adoration as she shrinks down to Jennifer size.

She loves waking up and seeing you next to her and having your arms around her. She feels so safe and comforted. Jennifer hates having to work so early in the morning because she misses you so much all the time. It may seem a little codependent, but she adores you and wants you all the freaking time.

You own a bar, so you’re your own boss. That must be heckin nice,huh? Since you have a bit of free time you make different dishes for Jenn to try when she comes home. She loves that you work, but the sight of you cooking for her makes her heart flutter. She loves you so fucking much. You care for her well being and remind her to eat and drink water. Sometimes you cook together because Jenn wants to learn, but doesn’t know where to start. So you’ll stand behind her and guide her while you wrap your arms around her waist and rest your chin on her shoulder. Every time she does something right without guidance earns her a kiss along her neck. Her knees buckle a bit whenever you do that.

WEEKEND CLEANING! I cannot stress this enough. She loves days like this. You don’t DEEP clean unless it’s a holiday, special event, or spring cleaning. Y’all just clean together. Wash dishes together, clean the windows, and mirrors. (Think of that scene from up where they’re fixing up their house) Just two humans in love and enjoying each other’s company.

This is all I have for now. Enjoy Jennifer Walters fans <3

#jennifer walters x reader #marvel she hulk #she hulk #jennifer walters

[risto-licious]

HELLO PALS!!!!! I do have two more commsies to finish (which are a heckin good time to work on) until I shall fling myself into the holiday fun (aka drawing krampus risto...WHICH I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN). does time also sometimes feel so unreal to you??? the last day I remember clearly was at the very beginning of december AND NOW IT’S ALREADY THE 23th. WHAT THE HECKIE. I’ve been drawing so much different stuff this past months, commissions, trades, zine pieces, little doodles for myself...! and I already feel overwhelmed to share them all! sometimes it feels like I am releasing a bunch of cluttered various arts all at once just to blast them into the public void, though most feel like they’ve already lost their momentum, of sorts? does this even make sense? it’s been a fun time creating though and I do love to simply get lost in the sauce, doing art and throwing the last pieces of my remaining brain cells into the music I’m listening to. JUST. VIBING. It’s hard sometimes to keep in touch with friends though, when time seems to work so oddly different for you and your brain. BUT ALAS, I am rambling yet again!!! I am wishing all of you some cozy winter times! ESEPCIALLY to all the peeps out there who feel lonely and lost especially during the holidays, and. well. all this wacky mess this 2022 has brought us. LET’S STICK TOGETHER, WE’LL GET THROUGH THIS!

#MY BRAIN SPACED OUT FOR THE TAGS #brain empty JUST #TEA AND SNUGGLES AND SLEEP #AND SOME SPICE ONTOP OF THAT #funky happy winter dances!!!!

[paintedkinzy-88]

Ok, since we're almost halfway through Pride Month, I feel like I should ask this: what are your sexuality headcanons for the Sans AUs, and how do you think they would act at a Pride Parade? Anyways, have fun, and Happy Pride Month!

Ahhhh I hate that it’s already almost done and I’ve done nOTHING. I was going to draw something, but we’ll see if I have time to before the end of the month. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

But but but I can do this much. Probably. XD

I’m only gonna do the main AUs cuz that’s a long list as it is, so apologies but I’m not adding like Razz or Sci or anything dhsjbfjsbd. But anyway since I know this will get long I’m cutting it off here. If you want my Pride Rambles heckin take them:

Going off a semi-peaceful multiverse of course, cuz I like everyone kinda getting along—

Classic: personally always seen him as Bisexual, but more leaning towards a masculine attraction. So like a 4-5 on the Kinsey Scale huehue. Honestly don’t think he’d go to a Pride Parade unless someone dragged him there cbsjfbjsnf, so he’s probably just lazing around/being carried the whole way, and wearing a million Pride accessories cuz his friends/brother just keep piling them on while he’s sleeping lmfao

Red: Mostly the same as Classic, tbh. Though he’d probably be picking a lot of fights with anti-protestors outside the parade ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Blue: Pan, he likes anyone and everyone! As long as you meet his taco standards, gender plays no role. He’s definitely the energetic, supportive one at Pride that’s trying to make sure everyone feels happy and involved. He’s usually at the front of the parade, but also weaving through the crowd a lot. Someone says their family doesn’t support them?? Blue’s there to make you feel welcomed and valid no matter what. (ง’̀-‘́)ง

Lust: Demiromantic, Pansexual, and maybe Genderqueer. As in, he usually goes by he/him but doesn’t mind other pronouns, and will typically dress more feminine or masculine depending on however he feels. If he looks good, he looks good, gender expectations be damned. And I just think sexual attraction is one thing (kinda an important thing for his world, too), but being romantically attracted is rare. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ He be the one that’s always friendly-flirting at Pride, and complementing absolutely everyone. He’s totally dressed up with flare, but still stylish and in the colors of one of his flags huehue.

Ink: I go back and forth with Ink a little?? I kinda go by partial canon, seeing him as Asexual and Biromantic, but he’s not sex repulsed. I feel like with him making so many worlds and so many Lust variants, it’s more of a “yes this person is aesthetically sexy” rather than any actual feeling attached to it. XD He goes to Pride in a l l the colors. He’s probably passing out face paint and confetti poppers and other Very Messy Things too. Maybe he’s even painting people’s faces himself before the parade, honestly.

Error: Maybe Demiromantic, but otherwise boi be like Classic, just more grumpy and prone to anger. XD Idk if he’d really want to go to a Pride Parade, because of the crowds, but I suppose if he was he’d likely be in the waaaay back where no one else is, just people watching, maybe enjoying seeing a partner having fun themself and that’s it. … Or he’s on the sides of the parade threatening anti-protestors too, that’s probably a thing.

Dream: HMMMM thinking long and hard about the Dreamtale duo ngl. I just felt like they don’t really. Care about gender or anything at all, and probably didn’t have any of this in their village. I guess I can see Dream as questioning, but leaning towards Pan??? He’s probably been to so many Pride Parades though, let’s be honest. Soaking in the positivity and doing his best to cheer up anyone who’s scared or uncertain in themselves. I can see him educating himself in all the stuff he missed out on so he could lend semi accurate advice to anyone still questioning themselves. He be the therapist wherever he goes smh, but I’m sure there’s been multiple occasions that his friends have pulled him into the festivities as well. I can definitely see Lust and Ink making him dress up a bit. XD mayhaps…. 👀👀

Nightmare: mostly the same as Dream, but he’s had a lot more time to think it over. Idk, I’ve always seen him as Demiromantic, and then just not caring about gender at all. It’s the one thing he always respects in others because he just doesn’t understand mortals’ obsession with gender roles. He’s a murderer, but he’s a murderer that will get your pronouns right. He likely only goes to Prides because his boys go, lmao. He’ll do whatever they wanna do at the parade, within reason. That means no, he will not get his face painted, but they’re definitely able to throw some rainbow accessories and shit on him, even if he’s not happy about it. XD Gonna be washing the rainbow glitter out of his goop for MONTHS…

Cross: He be Bi, just like canon huehue. I’ve also been reading a lot of Trans Masculine fics lately, and I can see that. Idk if I’d ever outwardly mention it in a story, since I don’t personally know much about that kind of experience and don’t want to represent it wrong, but hey if you wanna see it in my fics go right ahead, I’m not against that at all! Cross probably swapped out his cape for a bisexual flag at Pride lmao, but he’s mostly there to accompany friends and/or partners, so he’s not super social with others unless they come up to him. A good guard against creeps though!

Horror: I was going to say Bi, but honestly, nah I think he’d be Gay. I just don’t see him being very interested in girls at all??? Femininity is fine, just not girls. He’s the big burly scary guy at Pride, I feel like he’d be getting a lot of attention he doesn’t know what to do with wheeeze. Might have also brought cupcakes or cookies tbh. Gotta make sure everyone isn’t skipping lunch and passing out during the parade.

Killer: Definitely Gay. The gayest of them all and he’s not ashamed of it. He’s probably causing a lot of chaos and arguments with anti-protestors or just general creeps, mostly cuz he finds their reactions funny. Otherwise he’s a flirty bastard and probably hanging off of Cross and/or Nightmare most of the day. Idk if he’d be wearing much flag/color wise, but he’s definitely trying to put stuff all over everyone else.

Dust: I’ve always seen Dust the most Classic like, so he’s Bisexual too for sure. He’s likely right beside Killer in causing chaos and threatening assholes, but he’s also staying by Horror so the big guy isn’t overwhelmed in the crowd. I’ll bet that Killer convinced him to make little poppers and actual fireworks, too wheeeze. Used safely, of course. Mostly. Probably. Sort of.

Fresh: AroAce. I just don’t see him as very interested in having partners honestly?? Doesn’t mean I haven’t liked some Fresh ships, but for the most part he’s chill being single in my AUs lmfao. Fresh probably brought so many things to the parade. He’s got huge rainbow flag that the crowd can carry over the top of them, a bunch of glow sticks for necklaces/bracelets, balloons, wigs, light up glasses, flags galore, anything and everything, all of questionable origin ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Honestly, I’m not usually a fan of having an entire group of characters identify under LGBT, because it’s not very realistic to me. Not that I’m against the people that do, of course! Do what you want, I don’t care. It’s just not how I roll ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

But, all the Sans AUs are based on one dude, so it kinda makes sense that they’d all reflect him in some way, some more than others. And since I’ve always seen him as Bi/Pan, ya bet a lotta the AUs are kinda the same wheeeze. There are a lot of UT characters I see as straight, Sans just isn’t usually one of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe that’s just me projecting onto my fav, but whatever, it’s fictional characters, why the heck not.

ANYWAY these are just my headcanons. It’s not usually a thing I pay much attention to, especially when reading other’s fics. I feel like it’s really up to interpretation most of the time, and that’s one of my favorite parts of fandoms XD

#read my fics/AUs with whatever headcanons you please #these are just generally mine huehue #sorry it got lonngggg #I’m very detailed with this bs ;w; #tried to make it as Skimmable as possible tho XD #undertale #undertale multiverse #asks #undertale au #lgbt headcanons

[basedkikuenjoyer]

1081 goes in about the direction I expected. We have all these break weeks with Golden Week (!) coming up and I kind of like having these big goofy hype chapters of the outside world. We really are getting some cool info on Blackbeard, Shanks, Garp & Admirals all rocking the stage. And here we go with one of those titles that immediately grab you. Just gonna say it too, how nicely would that prop up the omnipresent line of Blackbeard mirroring Luffy’s journey if we saw “Tenth Person” for anyone soon?

I’m guessing once we’re on a regular schedule we’ll be back to the lab again...but would not be surprised to see time has leapt forward a little. Remember the little napkin outline for a Kishotenketsu plot. We could start by seeing the big incident resolved before launching into a long flashback. We could see what looks like a truly dire outcome before doing the same. Or we could just advance to a night on the island with the situation devolved, knowing that a big incident is to come soon. Part 3, or ten, should be jarring and tonally different. 

Okay fuck no. I know this chapter’s got at least one mutual all ready to take a trip to Japan for all the wrong reasons. Load up the buggy, get me grandpappy’s scattergun, we gotta correct a sitiation here consarnit. Do not mess with Hibari. Especially right when she’s being a cutie patootie. What is the big first takeaway the second we see this? It is now almost certainly Lafitte & Katarina Devon making their way to Egghead. That pair will be all about subterfuge so I’m heckin giddy. Kujaku being amazing makes up for the threat to my beautiful little lark (oh shit, that’s actually relevant to the Art NUE Kikuhime thing) and Prince Grus being fussy is pretty damn funny. The fight is cool, not much to say, but I do like we’re seeing this kind of flashback again. SWORD continues to endear me and that’s after spending fifteen years referring to Koby as “That little wiener kid.” Now with the star of the chapter:

Man is this scene hard to read. See, I could interpret it either way and both seem valid. Either Aokiji or Blackbeard is showing off a real knack for oratory skills. Kuzan being a SWORD guy through and through schmoozing to get in like Drake did for Kaido would probably act about like he would here. Or it could be Blackbeard showing off this hurdle to being a captain. I adore the little flair of him striking this Yakuza pose and showing respect. I can believe all four capabilities; either is putting on an act, neither are sincere, or both are. But it’s kinda like Law mirroring Brook’s recruitment with Jean Bart or Blackbeard doing the same echoing Jinbei in Impel Down. There’s a better way to say it, a better timing. Is that really all it was for Kuzan? Their conversation is right, he just sorta happened to fit in because he does have the right personality. Maybe something about Garp made his loyalties waver along the way or maybe Blackbeard just caught the right moment to poach a star looking for a new role.

But then of course, we have the tragedy. I wasn’t even a huge fan of the guy in particular but this one stung.

The Polar Tang was one of the best ships and I love me some Big Bad Jean Bart. Sulong Bepo coming in clutch with what I’m guessing was a Rumble Ball was cool as hell. Though Chopper...that was highly unethical medical practice dude. It’s okay since you’re cute and I guess a pirate doesn’t report to an ethics board so it’s okay.

Still, it reinforces how I felt about Kidd. This is the classic Kabuki virtue cause-and-effect. Big picture, this is why the Straw Hats trained for two years. But it also pertains to how they learned the lessons of Wano. Kidd potentially never really had to, there’s a nice overlap of Killer and Wano themes. Particularly some that line up nicely with precious flower Okiku. If he just learned to listen to that voice more he’d have been better off. If he’d just been less aggressive about going after everything in front of him he’d have been better off. Law? He’s more of the neutral step. He didn’t do anything wrong, but he didn’t make much of an active effort to take in Wano like Luffy did. He only just now started to gravitate towards understanding the big picture while Luffy’s had Robin on that since Sky Island. This one straight-up involves Kiku because Act 1 beats you over the head with it.

This is still my favorite one. But there are quite a few panels I could use. It’s the promise to Tama and it always caught my eye how beautifully Law & Kiku frame Luffy. You have the nice light/dark contrast immediately following Bakura Town. Both even have it a little internally with Kiku’s dark hair and Law’s hat. The way they’re carrying their swords even helps out. It’s all around this moment too, they’re acting a bit like the angel & devil on Luffy’s shoulders. 

Really excited to see where the next leg of this arc heads.

#one piece #chapter 1081 #Post-Wano Musings

[kanerallels]

also a B99 scene but Kanera?

Okay, admittedly what I wrote for this is... not really what you asked for. It is in my B99 au, and it's semi inspired by episode 11 (I think?) of season one! And it has Kanera so you'll like it anyways, I hope!

Taglist: @laughingphoenixleader @accidental-spice @heckin-music-dork @day-to-day-thots @auroramagpie @firefoxtessa @opalknight (let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

“We’ll split up— we’ll be able to cover more ground that way,” Commander Fox said briskly. “Bly, you’ll come with me. D’ukal, with Kestis. Sierra, why are you here?”

“Entertainment value for my SpaceTube channel.”

“Stay out of the way, then. Jarrus, you’re with Syndulla.”

“Ooooh,” Cal said mischievously, sending Kanan and Hera a grin. He received an eye roll from Hera, and a glare from Kanan. “I mean, we’d better get going.”

“You should,” Fox said. “The first person to spot Pryce calls the others. Remember, she has hostages so do not engage without backup. Understood?”

There was a series of confirmations, and then they spread out, heading down the various paths throughout the storage facility. Kanan moved with Hera, keeping his blaster at the ready. The flickering lights overhead cast strange shadows over his companion’s face, making her thoughtful frown seem deeper. Her eyes flicked from doorway to doorway ahead, then paused on Kanan, and Hera raised an eyebrow at him.

Oh, I’m staring, Kanan realized with a stab of embarrassment. Sorry, he mouthed at her apologetically, and she gave a nod before moving forward. He followed, biting back a curse of annoyance.

He wasn’t supposed to be this transparent. It wasn’t supposed to be obvious that after their mission two months back, things had started to feel… different. Like she wasn’t just someone he enjoyed getting a rise out of, but she was a friend. Someone he trusted, cared about. Maybe more than he should have.

Kanan glanced at Hera again as she stopped by one of the doors. Definitely more than he should have.

“I think there might be someone in here,” Hera whispered, startling him out of his thoughts. “But I don’t think it’s Pryce.”

“Do we call the others?” Kanan asked in a low voice. “Because I’m on board with handling it ourselves.”

Hera pursed her lips thoughtfully, and Kanan hastily pulled his gaze away from the gesture. “Commander said not to, but—”

Before she could speak another word, there was a muffled cry from inside. A child’s cry of pain. Kanan’s eyes widened, and he met Hera’s gaze.

Her expression was steely with cold anger as she said, “Are you with me?”

“I got your back,” Kanan said, checking his blaster. “Let’s do this.”

#thanks for the request!! #fun fact this is set after the fic i owe you. la la irony #star wars rebels #swr #kanan jarrus #hera syndulla #kanera #kanera is love kanera is life #b99 au #commander fox #cal kestis #sierra waspee #writing stories is a kind of magic too

[ageless-aislynn]

Frens, I am doing a heckin’ silly thing:

I’m trying to beat Halo: Combat Evolved... on Legendary. I’ve actually already made it through Pillar of Autumn, Halo, Truth and Reconciliation and The Silent Cartographer and am about to start Assault on the Control Room.

I anticipate a lot of dying and starting over in my future. I didn’t know if I was ever going to finish Truth and Rec because, darn it, Cpt Keyes KEPT GETTING KILLED. That man is not only a kidnapping magnet, he runs straight at enemies like sword Elites because he seems to think he’s invincible. Pro tip, Captain: YOU ARE NOT. YOU GET MURDER DEATH KILLED VERY, VERY QUICKLY.

I wish I had the option to throw him on my back and keep him safe. Or, you know, lock him in a room until I can clear all the enemies and then he could just make a nice, leisurely stroll to safety, lol!

(Actual tip: try to stay in front of him but when he’s crowding up too close and is in serious danger becoming unalive, turn and run back the other way; he and the marines should follow you. Then try to outrun him to take out the enemies before he rushes them himself and is MURDERED STONE-COLD DEAD IN .425 SECONDS 😲😣😉)

Silent Cartographer is, oddly enough, one of my most fav levels to play, even on Legendary. I learned a lot of helpful tricks to get through it when I learned to speedrun for the par time (I’ve got par times on all of CE and Halo 2 *is so proud* 😍👍) and I use it to just go and play on for fun. I also accidentally blew myself out of the map in the Hunters’ courtyard in the Legendary run and I’m totally going back later to do it on purpose and see where all you can go from there. 😎 I ended up recording some of this run and there were several funny glitches in it. I may put them together in a video or as GIFs or something. We’ll see. 🤷‍♀️

343 Guilty Spark, The Library, Two Betrayals, Keyes and The Maw are all looming ahead of me once I get past AotCR. Weirdly enough, I’m not dreading the Library the most because I just managed to get this achievement:

I played on Heroic but you can’t die without having to start all of the way over again and that was a PILL, let me tell you! I died so many times right at the very end and just wanted to

BUT! I learned some strategies to get through that’s going to really help me on Legendary. Plus I finally feel safe in saying that I’ve mastered the grenade jump at the start that lets you deload most of the enemies on the first level, so that helps. I’ve also come up with a fairly reliable strat to get the shotgun as soon as possible and you NEED that to get through.

Also, I just beat CE on Normal and Heroic and sorta learned how to navigate 343 Guilty Spark and not get AS lost as I used to, lol! Two Betrayals is the one I’m dreading the most, honestly. Those bridges, ARGH.

Anyway, if I make it through, I’ll let you know. 🤗 I hope I can, it’ll mean a LOT to me to have gotten good (and lucky, huh) enough to get through CE on all of the levels of difficulty, especially looking back on how much Easy kicked my behind the first time I played it, lol!

Wish me luck!

⬆ D’aww, the first screencap I took in CE when I originally played it back in June, 2022! I was SO LOST at that moment and couldn’t find where the prison cells were on Truth and Rec, lol! *nostalgia* 😂😉

Love and smiles to you all! 💖

UPDATE: I made it through Assault on the Control Room! I was able to do the bridge jump, which lets you bypass one of the rooms and having to come back along the second bridge and thankfully was able to hijack a Banshee on the snowy bridge and fly it right to that final hanger without having to fight my way down, then across and THEN back up all those levels of the pyramid-ish building where the hanger is on top. Then I just Banshee bombed everybody who ran out of the hanger and walked on in! I’m so excited, frens! This honestly means a lot to me. I know it’s just a game but it’s something I never thought I could play or at the least wouldn’t be able to play with any proficiency. And to be working my way through Legendary, even using skips and shortcuts and the like, it’s still HARD but I’m getting there and that just... It makes me happy, no matter how silly that is. 🤗🤗🤗

#halo #halo: combat evolved #i can't believe i'm trying for #legendary #ais is an amazing gamer /s #if it works i'll tell you one more trick and like i said if it works it's a LIFESAVER #it worked on heroic but legendary is its own beast after all #:S #ageless aislynn #this is my game tag

[gallusrostromegalus]

If you ever want to do a "Top 10 home gardening tomato cultivars" segment, I'm here for it. (My folks mostly plant Early Girls, but they have a ridiculously short growing season up there. I grow Sweet 100s, because they taste good enough and I gave up on growing anything other than cherries due to bastard squirrels who like to take exactly one bite out of larger tomatoes.)

OH

IT IS NOW TIME TO INFO DUMP

CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED

Ok so the actual thing with tomatoes is there are- checks google- about 10,000 tomato cultivars out there and every single one of them is different, so you should tailor your tomato breeds to what you actually want to do with them.  10K is a lot a breeds to break down, but fortunately, there are ways to Do That:

1. Determinate vs. Indeterminate 

Determinate tomatoes grow to a genetically predetermined size and start fruiting.  Pros: Tends to have a short time between planting and fruiting, don’t get bigger than a certain size if you only have so much space. Cons: Once they’re done fruiting, that’s it. you really only get the one crop out of them.  Also tend to have sad, watered-down flavor.

Indeterminate tomatoes grow as big as the space will let them, and start fruting when they get around to it. Pros: Maximum Plant for minimum investment, which can be like 10x as big as a determinate plant. Will KEEP fruiting until it gets too cold, so if you can get it in a pot you can move inside you could potentially still be harvesting tomatoes after thanksgiving like my MIL was this year.  If you live somewhere warm like SoCal or AZ, you could keep it alive all year. Cons: MUCH longer time between planting and fruiting.  Indeterminate tomates Get there when they get there. Also may be more prone to disease and pests than the more-modified determinate plants.

There are determinate and indeterminate tomatoes in all 5 of the Greater Tomato Archetypes.  Speaking of:

2. The 5 Tomato Archetypes

I’m so good at segues! 

So tomatoes come in 5 basic types, each which is generally better for something culinary than the others.  You CAN substitute different types of tomato but your food generally doesn’t come out as good.

1. Cherry: Cherry tomatoes produce fruits that are about the size of cherries.  Some people put Grape and Saladette tomatoes in here but they are WRONG, both of those belong in the “Round/All-Purpose” group because Cherry tomatoes specifically have thinner skins, more soluable pectin, and more dissolved glutemates, which means they cook VERY differently.  Cherry tomatoes also produce a shitload of fruits at a time and might be some of the heaviest producers.  Tend to be more heat-tolerant. Good For:  Fresh tomato sauces (i.e. takes less than 20 minutes to make), salads, snacking on directly off the vine like you are a small tarsier discovering a hidden bounty of fruit.

Top reccomendations are: -Indigo Cherry or Dwarf Black Krim if you can find it. I always reccomend dark-pigmented tomatoes as I find they have better flavor, pest resistence and UV tolerance. Taste fruity but not over-sweet and Very Tomato-y.  -Sweet 100/Super-Sweet 100/Sweet Millions: All varietals of the same mass-producing Cherry Tomato. Makes absolute buckets of Tomatoes, sweeter and more fruity than the Indigo cherry, good disease resistence and long growing season.

2. Paste: Paste tomatoes are thin-skinned, meaty and soft tomatoes that... well, they make good tomato paste, the basis for all long-cooking tomato sauces and recipies. They tend to be kind of Oblong and sometimes grow in fun extras like lil tomato “dicks” or weird cthulian shapes, but this doesn’t effect the flavor or nutrition There’s a shitload of great varietals in this category, I’ve yet to hear of a Bad Paste Tomato, just Less Excellent ones.   Good For: Long-cooking Tomato-based dishes like: Bolognese, chili, ketchup, BBQ etc.  Also can and freeze well.

Top Reccomendations are: -Amish Paste: MEATY, and well-suited for growing in a variety of conditions.  Paste is smooth and velvety.  Good for Chili, BBQ and Bolognese. -Opalka tomato: Russian Tomato, little more on the acidic side, grows well in places prone to surprise late frosts.  Paste isn’t as smooth but very thick. makes great ketchup. -San Marzano: THE tomato for making Marinara Sauce (also does good bolognese). Sweeter and lighter, with a slightly runnier paste that clings well to pasta. cans and freezes excellently, does well in places with HOT summers.

3. Beef: Beef tomatoes are BIG motherfuckers that kind of take a long time to grow but are very rewarding.  Beef tomatoes are firm, have a very solid meat and are best eaten raw, typically sliced onto a sandwich or seared under a broiler for a NZ Mousetrap. Not only are the fruits big but so are the Plants, so they take a long time to reach maturity and the fruit takes FOREVER to ripen but if you like a sandwich, they can’t be beat.  Also they look hella impressive on instagram. They also tend to be more prone to Blossom End Rot (which is just a calcium deficiency- just make sure to fertilize with some eggshells and don’t over-water them), and despite the size, don’t tolerate cold well. Good for: Slicing on sandwiches, eating raw like you’re biting into the still-beating heart of your nemesis and enjoying that sweet, sweet revenge, searing quickly under a broiler or putting on a Kabob.

Top Reccomendations Are: -Brandywine: Hefty, great fresh tomato flavor, and PINK.  -Big Zac: Goddamn Massive Tomato. A Real Heckin’ Chonker. meatier flavor and lots of firm flesh with few seeds. -Beefmaster: One problem with Beef tomatoes is that a lot of them are heirloom varietals that aren’t as widely available. Of the ones that are easy to get your hands on, Beefmaster is the best, but it lacks the flavor punch of Brandywine or Big Zac, but it’s not a BAD tomato.

4. Round/Early/All-Purpose: The Workhorse of Tomatoes, the Round Tomato does it all- sauces, salsa, sandwiches, salads, and snacks.  But it doesn’t do them quite as well as the other, more specialized tomatoes.  Also, some of these tomatoes have been Over-Worked and bred to fruit early and transport well, at the expense of it’s Flavor.  I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU, EARLY GIRL AND BETTER BOY, YOU FLAVORLESS TENNIS BALLS, YOU INSULTS TO THE MIGHTY HOUSE OF NIGHTSHADES. Love yourself, don’t get Early Girl or Better Boy. If your season is too short for anything but the earliest of tomatoes, it may be better to grow Something Else than put all that effort in for Disappointment. That said, there are many types of Round/All-Purpose tomatoes that haven’t been overbred into corporate blandness, and I can reccomend them in good concisence if you’re not totally sure what you want to do with your tomatoes: Good For: Indecisive people, people just learning how to grow plants, using one plant for a variety of purposes, people who are not yet prepared to enter the world of Tomato Opinions. Top reccomendations are: -If you really must have an early-fruiting tomato, the Wayahead is an heirloom that people swear comes in early with good size, flavor and firm structure.  I have not personally tied this varietal but people I trust like it. -Black Krim: GOD-TIER TOMATO. It’s got it all- flavor, high yields, firm structure, pest and disease resistence, fucking purple stripes. Cans Well, Freezes well, seeds well and breeds true. Fuck yes. Other tomatoes fucking WISH they had what this Hot Bitch has. -Invincible is a damn-hard-to-kill tomato that isn’t very large but fruits reliably and preforms well all around.  it also ripens 3 fruits at a time so you’re not constantly overburdened with Tomato.  Probably my top pick for beginners that need an Emotional Support Crop.

5. Fun: This is not, strictly speaking, a traditional type of tomato, but I feel like it’s an important category for people who want to do something different or really enjoy all Tomatoes have to offer. Good For: Trying new things, taunting the garden gods with my hubris, showing off at the garden FB group, discovering new flavors of plant.

Top Reccomendations: -Mr. Stripey:  it has a goofy name, it’s yellow-and-pink striped, and it smells and tastes almost exactly like pineapple, but it doesn’t try to digest you back.  I love it. -Japanese Truffle: Dark Brown tomato that looks like someone tried to make ferro rochers at home and bungled it, and has a LONG maturation time, BUT it’s got a chocolately flavor and even at maturity has green insides which give it this. Lightness?  it’s hard to describe but it’s a fascinating flavor. The plant also is more branched and elegant than most tomatoes. Very different, very cool. -I have not personally tried Cherokee Purple but I have heard good things about it. We’ll see how it does in the garden this year. -Tomatillos and Ground Cherries:  Not actually tomatoes, but closely related. Neat herbaceous sort of flavor, like thyme but to the left.  Also comes in a fun Organic wrapping paper. -Ketchup ‘n’ Fries: a Sweet 100 tomato top grafted onto Kennebec Potato rootstock, so it grows both tomato AND potato!  Grafting was invented prbably about a week after the concept of agriculture was, and consists of taking two or more closely related plants and taping a cutting of oone into a hole in the other until the plants heal together.  Like that one gorilla-dude from Umbrella academy, but without the angst.  You can get them pre-made or attempt to make them at home if you’re feeling adventurous and are OK with potentially killing a bunch of starts while you learn.

Good Luck and Happy Gardening!

#Long post #tomatoes #the garden of earthly HOA violations #njelruch

[forever-rogue]

If you're looking for Bucky requests, may I perhaps request something to do with Dad!Bucky? Like maybe he's surprised on how much his kid (I always see him with a daughter but that's just me) grabs onto his metal hand when they're walking or just gravitates towards it more than his flesh hand and he's always throwing major heart eyes whenever the child does this. 🥺

A/N: Dad!Bucky? Please I’m so heckin’ soft right now - no one touch me 🥺

Pairing: n/a

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

BUCKY MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Daddy!" Bucky was pulled back into reality as he looked up from the ground. A small flock of pigeons had gathered around him as he fed them some seed. They were cooing and chirping happily at him and in some ways had become steadfast friends over the years. But when he looked up and found his daughter grinning and waving at him, his entire heart melted, "daddy! Come and catch me!"

Sofia displayed a gap-toothed grin,  her dark curls windswept and blue eyes wide and excited. She was his little clone in almost every single way. You'd told him that since the day she was born and, almost as if you had a sixth sense, you'd insisted that she would cling to him like glue. You'd been right. Very right.

He couldn’t help but grin as he watched her running around, attempting to catch some butterflies as Falcon, the beloved family dog, followed closely behind. You’d had him since before she was born and they were thick as thieves.  Quickly pulling out his phone, he made sure to snap a few photos of them to send to you before getting up and chasing after her. He was on solo-father duties today as you had a few things for work you had to attend to that day.

Of all the things in the world Bucky thought he would ever have, a family of his own was never one of them.

But as he ran after his daughter, making quick work of catching up to her little legs, and swooped her up in his arms, a wave of peace and calm washed over him. She squealed in delight as she tried to squirm out of his arms, Falcon barking happily at the two of them.

“I’ve got you, little monster,” he peppered gentle kisses over her face as she giggled and attempted to wrap her small arms around his neck, “so easily defeated, little one. One day you’ll be strong enough to fight me off.”

“I don’t want to, daddy,” she insisted as she snuggled against his chest, “I like when you hold me. Besides, my legs are getting tired.”

A lump welled up in his throat at her little declaration; in some ways he wished that Sofia would stay this young and carefree forever. But in others, he couldn’t wait for her to grow up and reach different milestones that he could help her grow through. He still struggled, here and there, with the idea that he was actually good and hoped in some ways that raising her would give him the chance to prove to the world he could do good. Perhaps it would prove it more to himself than anyone else, but that was beside the point. He just wanted to be a good father, just as he worked to be a good husband.

He already was - the best ever - you had consistently told him such. Nothing you’d ever done that had shown him otherwise. It was something he still found to be a miracle at times.

“That’s what happens when you’re a shrimp,” he laughed softly as he kissed the top of her head, “one day, you’ll be tall and running over me. But that’s a long time from now - want to get ice cream before we go home?”

“Yes,” she grinned and looked at him with wide, ocean blue eyes, “mommy said no ice cream though...she said I had too much when I went to Uncle Sam’s the other day.”

“Mommy isn’t here right now,” he put a finger up to his lips and whispered softly, “it’ll be our little secret, okay?”

“I thought secrets were bad, daddy!”

“Only when they hurt other people,” he slowly set her back down and smoothed out her wild curls, “we don’t keep important secrets to ourselves and we don’t do anything to hurt others, yes?”

“Yes!”

“Exactly - and us getting ice cream doesn’t hurt anyone,” he reminded her as the little girl nodded eagerly, “we’ll make sure to brush your teeth extra well and then we’ll bring some home for mommy too. She can’t be mad then, right?”

“She loves ice cream too,” Sofia insisted as Bucky laughed, “we can all get ice cream! Falcon too!”

“Maybe not Falcon,” Bucky into his jacket pocket and fished out Falcon’s leash before clipping it onto his collar, “he can’t eat the same food as us, baby. But we can stop and get him a special treat too at the pet store. We can do that first, get our ice cream, and walk home. Mommy should be back by then too.”

“Okay daddy,” as soon as he straightened back up, he held out his hand to her, expecting that she’d gravitate towards the warmth and gentleness his normal hand offered her. Instead, she reached for the black and gold vibranium of his left side and clung onto it without reservation. She held onto him as tightly as possible, giving him an expectant look with a happy smile.

In some ways, he shouldn’t have been surprised at all. She’d never, even as a baby or toddler, had shown any fear or hesitation when it came to his vibranium arm. When she was tiny, even smaller than she was now, she didn’t understand the difference. She just knew that daddy has a different arm, but she’s never questioned it or made any sort of situation out of it. Even when people would stare, whether they knew of his past or not, Sofia was never phased. In turn, it gave Bucky the confidence not to care either.

You’d started the process of slowly helping to get him comfortable with being who he was, not hiding from the world, and the small girl had aided as well. These days he was able to go out without fear or worry about how he looked. He wasn’t anyone or anything he was just...Bucky. Bucky the husband, Bucky the father, occasionally Bucky the sidekick to Capitan America. And it felt good. For once in his long life, he was just a normal man.

And frankly, that was all he had ever wanted. What a thought - the man that had been through hell and back, several times, and all he wanted was a quiet and peaceful life. It had been a long time coming, but now that he had it, he didn’t plan on ever letting it go.

“Daddy?” Sofia asked softly as she started walking and noticed he wasn’t coming, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he promised softly. Bucky squeezed her hand gently before taking a step forward with her and Falcon quickly matching his stride, “Sofia?”

“Yes?”

“How come you never ask about my arm?” if he didn’t ask, curiosity would kill the cat. Typical Bucky Barnes, he knew you would say, asking a mere child for an explanation of something much more complex than anyone of her age would understand.

“Your arm?” her little brows knitted together as she looked up and gave him a confused look.

“You have to have noticed it’s different,” he shrugged as they walked out of the park, “it’s metal - vibranium - no one else has one like it.”

“That’s okay, daddy,” she stopped and quickly turned his hand over in hers, tracing over the palm gently, “it’s pretty. And it’s okay to be different! Mommy always says that and you do too. It doesn’t matter what anyone looks like, as long as they have good hearts. Right? If you’re kind and nice, nothing else matters!”

“Yes,” he felt himself getting choked up again as she started to race along the sidewalk, attempting to pull him with her. Sage wisdom from a five-year-old, “you’re absolutely right. I love you, little monster.”

“I know! I love you too, daddy,” she grinned, “now hurry up before they run out of all the good ice cream!”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Marvel Taglist (add yourself to a taglist here!)

@qhbr2013  @greeneyedblondie44  @april-showers-and-flowers  @softboiipascal @im-an-adult-ish  @patzammit  @niki-xie  @xxlovingfandomsxx  @startrekkingaroundasgard  @welcometothepedroverse  @actual-spawn-of-satan  @punkerthanpascal  @lazybeeches @someday-when-you-leave-me @justgivemethekeys @salome-c @rosiefridayrogersunday  @neptunesglow  @artsymaddie @haildoodles @amneris21 @star017 @irepostthingsiwanttoseelater @its–fandom–darling @ayamenimthiriel @alyispunk @djarinbarnes @edencherries @ashamed23 @sunsetskywalkerr  @nikkixostan @spookispunk @cable-kenobi

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #dad!bucky #i am soft

[rayvenden]

Just my KH20th Announcement Trailer thoughts and text dump

First are my quick thoughts and then I go into analysis mode. This post is more for me than anything lol

They're delaying the Dark Road finale AGAIN? The bastards

BRAIN AND HIS HAT IN 3D!

WEIRD LONDON SCALA IN 3D!

I'm going to be playing this mobile game even if it's shit and even tho it looks like another gacha

STRELITZIA IN 3D!

TWEWY style subplot for Quadratum mayhaps? POG

No platforms announced for KH4? Please my one big fear is that it's going to be PS5 timed exclusive. T-T

Dark Road:

Not me studying the missing upperclassmen of Scala to see if anyone looks familiar (like a somebody of Luxord and Demyx, but I don't think they fit that bill). However this looks like it's probably Baldr's missing sister.

---

Missing-Link:

These devices in Missing-Link are probably "links" lol. (Gee how would I have ever guessed)

Apparently the title Missing-Link refers to this taking place in the time between Union Cross and Dark Road (to link them). Makes sense as... that's what the game is.

Missing-Link could also be

-a missing link in a chain of memories

-a lost page of the Book of Prophecies

-a missing star connecting a constellation? (i.e. Yozora or Nameless Star reference)

-a missing person (plenty of candidates lmao. Nameless Star, Subject X, Ava, the population of Daybreak Town, the population of Scala ad Caelum, even Sora. Plus I am sure there will be even more murders *cough* 'missing people' during this game.)

Side note; I think it'd be cool if you got creepy correspondence from a missing person's link. 👀

It's probably also a slight reference to D-Links from BBS, which is how you tap into the trio's and Disney characters' powers. So your link is probably canonically how you use the medals shown. You probably equip your medals to set which moves you can use, like how it works in UX, with a mix of BBS since it’s now in 3D with 3D moves.

Cue me getting hype as hell. I love BBS style customization. UX had plenty of customization but now that it's in 3D we can actually get a heckton of recognizable moves from across the entire series as equippable medals. Watch me equip all Sonic Blades and just nope off into space.

Okay two things here:

First off, gotta be a reference to Yozora (don’t you know, he has a copyright on the night sky). Secondly, it's probably safe to imagine that we'll be dealing with another Real Daybreak Town VS Data Daybreak Town situation here. Since the "stars shown contorted", I think that means that things aren't quite right. 👀 Like, perhaps the constellations don’t line up right... BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT REAL *gasps in shock*

KH4:

Actually I don’t think I have a lot to say here. It’s beyond cool that the Dark Seeker saga is done and we’re getting the start of The Lost Master arc. Seriously the Master of Masters is such a fun character, so I’m excited.

This might be a good spot to find some ingredients:

Oh right I guess people are freakin out cause Star Wars might be in KH too lol:

Also it makes sense that Strelitzia found Sora since they both heckin DEAD

WAIT SEVEN WHOLE DAYS

DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN SEVEN DAYS

Do I smell a KH2 Roxas style intro????????? DOES THIS CONNECT TO THE YOZORA ENDINGS? WHICH ENDING IS CANON? IS NEITHER ENDING CANON? IS ANY OF THIS REAL, OR NOT? AAAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway

Ignoring his very concerning words, this appears to be the Master of Masters and Luxu due to their stances. Which alright, we were already wondering how MoM got to Quadratum, but now Luxu is here as well? Is it that fucking easy to get to Quadratum? I mean it’s not SUPPOSED to be that easy. Sora and Strelitzia got there by DYING. They’re straight up DEAD. Xigbar went and faked his death and had a chat with the Foretellers and then apparently just moseyed on over to Quadratum??? They got some sorta secret backdoor to just go back and forth as much as they want? Well okay, maybe it’s not dissimilar to the dark corridors I suppose...

Edit: Look at this gremlin man

This is the look of a man who knows too much and is having the time of his lives. I guess if you went through what the MoM forced you to go through, maybe you’d learn to have fun with it lmao

Also, the Master of Masters wanted to vacay in Quadratum to get away from the Darknesses who were chatting him up in UX, but where there is light, darkness will follow, so lookie here he introduced KH’s darkness and heartless and shit to this world, good job buddy.

Edit: I forgot the Donald and Goofy at the end bit. It’s probably Hades which makes sense because why wouldn’t you wanna talk to the Lord of the Dead to get ideas on how to bring back a dead person lol.

Editing again because this on twitter appears to have more information if you’re interested! There’s a bunch of info including something I’m personally excited about:

#KingdomHearts #KH 20th #kh 20th anniversary #KHDR #Dark Road #KHUX #Union Cross #KHML #Missing Link #KH4 #Kingdom Hearts 4 #unholy text dump #someone stop me

[bardly-working]

stray tlovm live reactions

Spoilers for 1x06 — Spark of Rebellion

Keeper Yennen!  GINA TORRES!  AHHHHH!

Oh that’s kinda cute, making Archibald a childhood friend of Percy’s.  He didn’t seem to have many (any) of those in CR, so that’s a nice addition…

And also it’s DOMINIC MONAGHAN!  AHHHHH!

Percy thinks he knows where Archie is… cause that’s prolly where he was kept 🥲

Oh man, the different plans drawn in crayon are kind of adorable.

NO WAY ARE THEY ACTUALLY GONNA DO THE DOOR THING

OH MY GOD THEY’RE DOING IT

THEY COMMITTED TO THE BIT, Y’ALL

25 MINUTES THEY SPENT ON THAT DOOR IN THE STREAM, 25 FUCKING MINUTES

Bless them for keeping that in the story.  Truly the most important element.

*Oooooh Scanlan, nice use of illusions! Heckin smort move!

NO MERCY PERCY

“For the record, you were thee one I was least looking forward to.”  - proof that Percival de Rolo doesn’t need a gun to murder a man.

Goddamn, scary Percy is fantastic, I love it so much, No Mercival Percival 😈

I do wonder if Archie — being the same age rather than an old man — is gonna be mad that Percy didn’t come back sooner.  And then maybe we’ll get to hear about how he was basically in a state of perpetual dissociation for several years. 🙃

Ohhhh Cassandra. I hope they do right by you…

“I have a sister” okay don’t you make me cry, don’t you dare

Cassandra’s messed up relationship with the Briarwoods is so fascinating, and I have to wonder how it plays out in this format.  Gods I love adaptations.

Post-watch thoughts:

1) okay but when are we gonna get a Dramatic Percy’s-Full-Name Moment?  Archie? Yennen?  Do we have to wait for Vex?  Want!

2) I reallt reallt love analyzing how adaptations from one media to another work. Things have to change by nature of the format, and watching what they choose to transpose, choose to change, choose to add or subtract… it’s always fascinating.  I could talk about this shit for hours, and not just for CR/tlovm.

3) *Inside of you there are two wolves.  One says “Major Image and Project Image both require verbal components, Scanlan couldn’t cast either one while his mouth is covered.  The other says “only internal consistence within the narrative and rule of cool are relevant here, not 5e RAW.”  You are a fucking nerd.

#tlovm spoilers #tlovm s1e6 #critical role #c1 spoilers #the legend of vox machina #D&D mechanics #percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii

[jinned]

payback’s a bliss | taehyung  | m

snippet: “This is going to sound so cliché,” Taehyung starts after too many seconds of awkward silence pass between the four of you, “but this is not what it looks like.”

pairing: taehyung x female reader, seokjin x jeon soyeon from (g)-idle

genre: smut, slight angst, slight fluff

au: coworker, office, valentine’s day, strangers to lovers to friends (s2l2f)

rating: explicit/18+

word count: 9.6k

warnings: y/n and taehyung get dumped :(, seokjin and soyeon are heckin annoying, gross pda, no one does any work in this office, dirty dancing, trash talk, sabotage :)

sexual warnings: voyerism!! sex without orgasming, uncompleted sex, office sex, public sex!, protected sex, lots of hand roaming wink wink, taehyung dig bick gang, lots of makin out!, table sex, slight choking, scratching, smol strip tease, dirty talk, they both question if they really want to do this for the right reason, the sex is kinda short tbh so not much actually happens,

a/n: banner made by @kimtaehyunq​!!! thank you so much maggie!! and thank you for asking me to be a part of your collab! i’ve had so much fun writing this! thank you to @feliix​ and @ughseoks​ for the endless amount of support from both of you

this is mostly unedited :( i’m sorry

this is a part of the be my bangtanvine collab! make sure to check out all of the other amazing stories!

The sharp edges of the invitation card threaten to prick through your skin as you grip it too tightly. Seokjin and Soyeon are currently skipping about the office, merrily handing out an invitation to every co-worker insight to their fabulous Valentine's Day party they'll be throwing. 

"And we got it approved by the big man to host it here! Everyone must come!" Soyeon’s shrill voice echoes throughout the padded cubicles. 

A groan slips past your lips before you can stop it. Normally you'd be down for office parties and festivities, you're a fun gal after all. But the idea of attending a Valentine's Day party that your ex-boyfriend is hosting with his "newer and better other half" just doesn't sound as appealing as one might think.

You desperately want to crumple the invitation in your fist and you outwardly seethe as Soyeon clutches onto Seokjin's chest as she leans into him with laughter, him naturally moving with her, chest rumbling before placing a passionate kiss on the top of her head. In a gross quirky fashion, Soyeon kicks up one of her feet, giggling with each second Seokjin’s lips are on her skin. 

Her stupid gorgeous skin that glows when the sun shines through the windows.

You hate her stupid skin, the sun should burn her, not make her look like an angel descending upon this earth.

Which, she totally acts like on a daily basis, sunshine or not.

All you can do is remind yourself that you are a better person than your hostile instincts and negative thoughts want you to be.

Taking in a deep breath, you slowly exhale through your nose, lowering the invitation painstakingly slow and delicately placing it to the side of your desk. You will show no weaknesses. They will not get to you. 

A loud huff of breath behind you breaks your concentration, and you turn around to see your co-worker Taehyung failing at being the better person; his jaw is clenched so tightly that the muscles in his face are twitching. His invitation is in pieces scattered across his lap and desk, some bits still stuck to his clenched fists in between his fingers. His entire body reads fire-angry and pissed off, but there's something in his eyes that tells you there's more going on deep within his mind. The way his eyes shake and glisten, it's clear as day he's just as hurt as you are about this situation. 

Taehyung is one of the handful of coworkers you’ve worked beside for years but have never exchanged more than ten words with. He’s quiet, tends to his work, and keeps to himself. Even when he and Soyeon were together he shied away from the PDA and loud declarations of love. The few times you cared to spare a glance in their direction, it always seemed that Taehyung was uncomfortable having all eyes on him with a bright red face paired with fidgeting hands. It was enough to make anyone feel bad for the guy.

Glancing around, you make sure the coast is clear, (AKA: all the attention is still on Seokjin and Soyeon), and you scoot your chair across the short way to Taehyung's desk.

"Hey, Hellboy,” you whisper just loud enough for him to hear, “extinguish your flames will ya?"

Taehyung's jaw relaxes as he looks at you for a moment before turning back to the mess around him. Closing his eyes, he lets out a more tender sigh, carefully picking up each piece one by one before sprinkling them into the garbage.

"Thanks," he says weakly. "I didn't realize I was expressing outwardly. Nuts isn't it?" He forces a chuckle, shaking his head as he goes back to watching the couple of the year receive their compliments and adoration from the other office sheep.

"Completely nuts." You agree, scooching closer until your chairs touch and you’re sitting side by side.

"She's acting like we weren't ever even together. Seokjin seems to be doing that to you too. It's crazy! Weren't you guys together for like three years?-"

"-Three years."

Sighing together, you both lean back into your chairs.

"Soyeon and I were together for four."

The pout in his voice breaks your heart, even more than it's already broken. That feeling alone surprises you. It's not like you're an overly compassionate person, not saying you're exactly heartless, but you and Taehyung have barely interacted. Ever. Even amongst your years and years of working together, nothing more than a simple head nod or raised coffee in acknowledgment has passed between you two. Now, you feel like you need to reach out, rub his arm comfortingly, maybe even offer to take him out on lunch where the two of you can freely be irrationally angry and bitter together. Really, it's just that if you were him, (and you basically are in this situation), you'd want someone to be there for you. Being alone in the midst of a breakup this painful just doesn't seem like a comforting option.

So, stepping out of your comfort zone, you decide to do just what you'd want someone to do for you.

"Let's get lunch together," you blurt out.

Albeit slightly confused, Taehyung smiles and kindly accepts your lunch offer.

"And then he said, 'You're a little too much to handle sometimes.' Who fucking says that!" You yell over the bustle and noise of the restaurant, voice muffled by the decent amount of food still in your mouth.

"He said that? About you?" Taehyung scoffs, throwing his fork down onto his plate and throwing his body back against the seat cushion. "You definitely don't seem like the type to be described as "too much to handle". I'm insulted on your behalf!"

"Thank! You!" You can't help but raise your voice as you throw down your fork as well, the utensil clattering against the now clean plate. "I can't believe Soyeon gave you such a stupid reason for dumping you. Who just says, 'We were too attached and I need to learn how to be my own person.' then goes around and is immediately in a super clingy relationship? I don't get it. Plus, in my own personal opinion, I wouldn’t have described you guys as too attached. I don’t think I even saw you guys kiss in public. Which makes this thing with Seokjin even more absurd!"

Expecting a fiery response, Taehyung surprises you by staying silent. His shoulders drop as he stares into his half-eaten chocolate cheesecake. The intense, angry emotions surging in your own veins quickly simmers down seeing how truly upset he looks in front of you.

"Hey," you dip your head down, trying to make eye contact, your hand naturally falling on top of one of his own, "don't worry about them. What she told you was bullshit and does not define who you are as a person. What she did was low and was clearly not the real reason she broke up with you. You seem like a great guy and she's going to have to live the rest of her life knowing she let you go." You see a faint smile finally grow on his face, making you smile in return. 

"Thanks, Y/n. I wish I was as strong as you are. I wish I could just be angry and secure with myself." He sighs and leans one elbow on the table, resting his head in his hand as he breaks up pieces of his cake, not making any motions to actually eat it.

You think about what to say and how honest you want to be. You've only just really started talking with him and talking about your feelings and insecurities has never been easy for you to do. Which was exactly one of the reasons Seokjin claimed during his breakup speech.

And fuck that guy. You can be emotionally vulnerable anytime you want!

"I'm not as tough as I'm making it seem," you admit slowly, "It honestly hurts so much it feels like I can't breathe sometimes, you know? I really thought I had opened up to him, really thought I had someone who loved me truly for who I was. I thought he saw the real me. A part of me almost feels violated knowing how much he knows about me." You can't help but chuckle softly to yourself. "Don't give them the power to determine your self-worth, okay? We'll get through this together. You're stuck with me now!"

Taehyung looks up and smiles warmly at you. Genuinely, you believe that you'll be able to make it through this. And it doesn't hurt having someone else here to understand what you're going through. 

Finally going back to eating his cake, Taehyung thinks thoughtfully for a moment, his head tilted in a curious fashion.

"Do you think-," he starts but pauses, scrunching up his mouth to one side as he ponders over what to say. Sighing and looking down once again, he softly says, "Do you think they cheated on us?"

It's a sentence that instantly gives you chills, freezing you in place for a moment because no, you didn't think that, the thought never occurred to you in the first place. Despite how mad you were at Seokjin, he didn't seem like the type to cheat. Now that the thought is in your head, you can't help but rethink situations you may have looked over.

Like the late nights leading up to the breakup, Seokjin stepping out of the room when he got phone calls- something he never used to do before. These things were out of character- yes. But you didn't think twice about it because it just seemed like something everyone did in the midst of a rough patch in a relationship.

Or maybe your subconscious just couldn't handle it at the time.

"She acted differently...in the end. I just wasn't sure if you knew or not."

"No," you shake your head, "the thought honestly never crossed my mind. But now that you mention it, he acted differently in the end too."

For a good, heart-bursting moment, you both sit there and silence and you let yourself feel truly sad about your breakup for the first time. You're not sure what's worse: the blinding anger or the heart-wrenching poignancy.

"This is stupid!" Taehyung finally breaks the silence, his fists firmly planting onto the table as he stands. "We didn't do anything wrong! Why are we the ones who have to be sad and cry into delicious cheesecake? They should be the ones crying into a creamy dessert!"

You can't help but laugh. And once you start, it's hard to stop. The entire situation still doesn't feel real to you, so what else can you do except clutch at your ribs as all the air in your body is used to laugh? Taehyung laughs with you, sitting back down and scooping up the remaining bites of his cheesecake.

"It really is dumb." You finally manage to choke out the words, the laughter slowly dying out between you two. "I wish there was some way to make them feel what we're feeling right now."

Mouth full of food, Taehyung offers a muddled: "Isn’t revenge...ya know...bad?"

Reaching for a napkin, you pause and stare at the lines in the fabric, an idea sparking in your mind. Slowly sliding the napkin over to your new friend, you decide to continue to be bold today and think out loud.

"What if we went to that Valentine's Day party they're hosting?"

Gasping on instinct, Taehyung accidentally inhales part of his cake, spiraling him into a coughing fit. "You want to what? I thought we agreed it would be a terrible idea!"

Smiling devilishly, you wait for Taehyung to notice the mischief in your eyes, wait for him to see that you wouldn't just simply be attending.

"What have you got planned?" He asks carefully.

"Let's go...together." Quirking up one of your shoulders, you play with your fork, spinning the utensil slowly against the point of your finger. It was hard trying to appear so casual, mysterious, and nonchalant when all you wanted to do was shout out your idea.

"I'm honestly such a bad guesser and I'm way too intrigued, but at the same time I'm not stupid enough to fall for the casual 'let's go together' so please tell me what you have brewing in that devilish mind of yours, Y/n, please I'm DYING!"

Taehyung's flair for the dramatics will definitely make this idea of yours even more pleasurable.

Dropping the fork, you look around the restaurant before leaning in, beckoning Taehyung to do the same until you can see the tiny flakes of freckles painted across his cheekbones.

"Okay. So, here's the plan..."

The next few days go by so fast it's been hard to enjoy the festivities.

And by festivities, you mean the fun going on between you and Taehyung.

The office has become so much more enjoyable having Taehyung in your life. Every day you come into work wearing one of his sports jackets, graciously draping it on the back of your chair after he politely pulls out your seat for you. And every day, after pushing in your chair, Taehyung leaves you a quick, yet passionate kiss on the top of your head, to which you always end up looking up at him with pure joy. 

It didn't take long for you two to become the talk of the office. 

Like a wave of wildfire, everyone began wondering just when you and Taehyung got together, if it was serious, a playful situation, just how far things have gone. You never paid much attention to office gossip before, but you never would have dreamed it was as juicy as this. Being in the spotlight was never your thing, but this was completely different. It felt different at least. Speaking of, you were usually the type of person to shy away from being the center of attention or the talk of the town. You liked that, in this instance, this spotlight was controlled by you and aimed at you just the way you wanted it. Walking around the office with a new wave of confidence felt empowering. Seeing Seokjin's jaw drop to the floor when he saw you, even more delicious.

It's true. Along with the new relationship, you switched up your wardrobe as well. Oh, and getting a new haircut after a million years of avoiding the salon definitely gives you that extra umph that you needed. And, let’s face it, moving on after being mercilessly dumped isn’t official until you do something different with your hair.

"You look..." Taehyung whistles as he not so discreetly eyes you up and down, biting his bottom lip as he does so. "Amazing." Very quickly you see some heads pop out from their cubicles out of your peripheral vision. It makes your smile all the more genuine.

Acting like you think the two of you are all alone in the office lobby, you giggle and lean into Taehyung. "Thank you for buying this outfit for me. It fits me in all the right places." You wink and pull at his tie slightly, turning around and walking away with it slipping through your fingers.

All of the heads quickly return to their computer screens, pretending to not have heard or seen a single thing.

It’s almost too easy.

Seokjin's cubicle is near the front of the lobby with yours and Taehyungs near the middle of the floorplan. Without a doubt, Seokjin's head had to have been one of the ones who was watching you just now. 

Gliding across the floor with Taehyung quickly following behind you, your heels click delightfully against the tile floor. In a split minute decision, instead of trying to discreetly glance into Seokjin's cubicle, you decide to turn back towards Taehyung and reach for his hand, giggling all along the way. 

Taehyung grasps your hand in his, the other hand pocketed in his tightly fit slacks. You weren't the only one with the wardrobe upgrade. If you're being completely honest, he won the makeover competition.

Your partner retired the contacts and went for a classy chic pair of black glasses that fit his facial frame so well, he could be the poster boy for all eye doctors across the nation. He made you want to have poor eyesight so you could sport some fancy eyewear. The two of you also found some new hair product for him and found that curling those chestnut locks made him go from Average Joe to chiseled supermodel. It still baffles you that this was the same Taehyung who's sat behind you for all these years. 

Throwing out the cheap button up collared shirts, Taehyung now sports some fancy looking sweaters, sporks jackets, and silk button-ups. He looks like a million bucks and ever since the makeover he's been getting the attention from strangers from all sorts of people, rightfully so. You’ve also gotten your fair share of head turns and whistles from folks on the street and each one only adds more fuel to your steps.

It's been a confidence boost for the both of you, to say the least.

Once you're near your own office spaces, Taehyung holds onto your fingers instead of letting you go, pulling you quickly back into him so fast that your hand automatically flutters against the swell of his chest.

"I'll miss you," he mutters softly for only you to hear, kissing your knuckles before guiding you to your chair to do his usual routine. Chills dance across your skin as your mind panics for a moment, briefly forgetting that this is all for show.

"I'll miss you more," you recover with a purr. Then, for good measure, ditching the nervousness echoing in the back of your mind, you let out a louder Shhh! noise, resulting in immediate whispers surrounding your not so private cubicle space. You let your finger linger over Taehyung’s lips before sashaying to your desk, leaving him standing in the middle of the hallway staring after you.

This was going all too smoothly.

Throughout the days you and Taehyung manage to find ample time to grossly flirt with one another. One of your favorite hobbies now was deciding where exactly you wanted to meet up and get a little frisky.

Your favorite spot by far is easily the copy room, however cliché it may be. Having Taehyung pressed up against your body as his lips roam your neck, your back either against the copy machine itself or the counter just adjacent to it, it was all too much fun.

Like today, for instance, things might have gotten out of hand.

Taehyung's hands roam your body from your hips all the way up to your shoulders as he murmurs things too quietly for you to even understand. Well, let’s be honest, it’s definitely not necessarily because they were too quiet, but because you were so distracted by just how electrifying his touch feels. It never meant to be this serious. A touch here, a kiss there, outward flirting and such. But now you're starting to think it's becoming more of a game between the two of you instead of an office game you set up to make your ex's jealous. Technically, you didn't need to start this game so early before the party: it's only a week away now. You were way too eager to put your plan into action, and that meant sacrificing the workplace and those that worked around you.

You don't even remember why you were in the copy room to begin with. Usually, you try to plan it so either Seokjin or Soyeon walk in. Lately, it's been everyone but.

Your breath becomes heavier as Taehyung's tongue swipes up along the backside of your ear, a little spot he quickly found brings out some not so innocent sounds from you.

Wanting so desperately to enjoy the attention your body is getting, you can't help but fight against the bliss. You're losing sight of the plan ahead. And you can't help but notice just how naturally you're responding to Taehyung's antics.

"Taehyung!" You gasp, glancing at the clock above his head, not realizing just how hot and heavy it was getting between you two. "I think we need to cool it a little bit. We've been in here for fifteen minutes now and no one has even come close to this room."

He chuckles under his breath, a slow, deep raspy sound that hums like a string quartet on a fine and breezy summer day. "Sorry. Seems I got carried away."

Without hesitation, he backs away from you and you can't deny that your first thought is how much you want him back up against you.

"I'm thinking we came on too strong. Now everyone is afraid of being around us." Taehyung ponders outwardly, a finger slowly tapping against his chin. How the hell is he able to be so sexy and passionate one minute and easily go back to acting like nothing happened?

Gulping, you clutch your arms to your chest, suddenly feeling cold without Taehyung’s warmth. “What do we do now?”

“I guess we can get back to work, there’s plenty of time for more shenanigans later.” He winks and walks out of the room wondering just when he became so carefree and confident.

A spur of the moment shopping spree sprung at you and Taehyung the night before the Valentine's Day party at the most opportune of times. After all the scheming and planning, the one thing you forgot to plan for was what you would be wearing for the event which blossomed said scheming and planning. Even when you both upgraded your wardrobe before, it was all simple business casual outfits, not a night out attire. 

Taehyung calls you in a panic, words blurring together through the phone as you try to make out what he's trying to say. Eventually, you're able to put two and two together.

"Holy shit we forgot our party outfits." You exclaim dumbfoundedly.

So, that's how you got here. Sprinting down isles with your hands out batting against the edges of the clothes. Some of the fabrics feel soft against your fingertips as the wind blows through your hair. As you look over to Taehyung, you can't help but to smile, not even noticing the gross feeling of old velvet pants going against the groove of your fingertips. Any other day, your body would have recoiled in disgust. But somehow, staring into Taehyung's earthy brown eyes, it's all become manageable. 

As the night continues and fashion show after fashion show occurs, you start to think about how you look at and feel around Taehyung. He's doing everything he can to stay positive in this terrible situation you've both been thrown into, and yet, you find yourself comforted in his presence. While comforting is the best word to describe it, it's also starting to become confusing. Are you starting to look at him romantically? Is he thinking the same about you? It's definitely not an appropriate time for you to jump back into a relationship. Come to think of it, you barely know much about the guy other than what you two share in relationship baggage. 

The rest of the night you seem to move in slow motion, caught up in your thoughts and not really feeling present in the moment. You catch Taehyung sneaking glances at you and it seems he's trying extra hard to be funny with all the ridiculous outfits he's put together.

"How about this!" He jumps out of the dressing room with arms wide open; a bright green feathered boa, red and yellow vertical striped pants, and a shirt that definitely could have belonged to a middle-aged man who loved to go fishing every weekend. There's a certain disconnection you feel with yourself even though it feels like you should be happy.

"You didn't even try to smile," Taehyung’s entire demeaning softens instantly. He walks towards the cushion you're sitting on and joins you, his shoulder lightly bumping against yours, "what's on your mind?"

Not exactly ready to admit your confused feelings about him, if they’re even feelings there at all, you decide to talk about the other thing that’s been disturbing your thoughts: Seokjin.

“I just wish it were easier, you know? Moving on?”

Taehyung huffs and juts out his bottom lip, quickly coming to your rescue by wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You let him consul you, lowering your head onto his chest as he rubs comforting circles on the side of your arm.

“It’s okay. I’ve been having a hard time getting over Soyeon too. It seems that no matter how hard I try my mind always drifts back to her. I still don’t really understand how she could just jump into a relationship with Seokjin and be in love so quickly. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Do you think they could be faking too? Like us?” The thought honestly makes your stomach turn and twist into all sorts of complicated knots. Why would you and Taehyung get dumped only for them to rub it in your face on purpose?

“I’m not sure,” Taehyung sighs, “I honestly wouldn’t put it past Soyeon to do it. There were more than a handful of times when we’d be around a bunch of people and she’d be all over me, couldn’t leave my side. Then, when we’d get home, she’d want her space and do her own thing. Super weird. I think she just needs everyone to see how loved she is. I don’t know. She has her own insecurities she still needs to deal with.”

Nodding your head into Taehyung’s chest, you also reflect on the way Seokjin treated you when you were in front of other people vs. how he treated you at home. And you can’t really think of an obvious difference. He was an amazing boyfriend who just couldn’t seem to fully commit to you.

“Sometimes it’s nice to think that they want to see us upset, doesn’t it?” Taehyung smiles and pats your head, standing up and offering a hand out to you. “Kinda shows us that we mean a whole lot more to them than they’re willing to admit. C’mon. Let’s find you a killer outfit and show Seokjin exactly what he’s missing.”

“Taehyung. Has anyone ever told you that you could have a future in fashion design?”

You keep staring at yourself in the mirror, looking at every angle possible of the attire you have on. Taehyung picked out everything himself, more than proving that his taste is far beyond more exquisite than all of your project runway knowledge combined. Right away in the store, he commands that blue is the only color he wants to see you in, none of that typical pink or red Valentine’s Day bullshit. “We need to stand out in all the best and worst of ways. Plus, blue is one thousand percent your color.” He had said to you, reassuring you along the way that he’ll find something for you both to match in.s

And he was a thousand percent right. Blue is most definitely your color. The way it brings out the natural highlights in your hair and even that small spark in your eyes, you’ve never been so confident with just a shade before.

The style of the dress itself is something you would expect to see in an over the top beauty pageant with just enough elegance to make it red carpet-worthy; pools of tool and fabric cascade down your legs, a long slit going up until your mid-thigh. The top half of the dress is strapless and slightly exposing the best of what you have to offer. You protested heavily on the attire in the store, it needed more than a little TLC with some rips and tears in the squirt and some stains on the front. But Taehyung had insisted and told you he had a plan in mind. 

In less than two hours Taehyung had successfully stitched and sewed his way to a beautiful masterpiece. You couldn’t even tell this was the same dress he had picked out in the thrift store.

Fondly, he smiles at you as he looks at what he’s created, a hint of shyness overtaking him as he softly admits that his mother and older sister would make their own clothes to save some money. Naturally, Taehyung picked up on what they had learned and actively partook in it as well.

“One year, for my mother’s birthday, my sister and I both worked on this really grand dress. It took us nearly two months to make. I used to be made fun of for this stuff, but nothing feels as good as seeing someone’s face light up when they put on something you’ve made. It’s the same face you have on right now actually.”

You turn and smile back at him, feeling a sense of comfort between the two of you. The warmth from his words is something you’re not quite used to; your connection seems to run deeper than you were ultimately expecting it to be. And you like the feeling of it.

“I’ll kick anyone’s ass if they make fun of you,” you say boldly, hands on your hips for emphasis.

Taehyung throws a pillow at your back, the both of you laughing like high school best friends.

Pacing back and forth in your driveway, you can’t help but think you might have been stood up. Taehyung said he would be at your apartment a good hour or two before the party so you could help each other get ready and hyped. 

You are definitely not ready. You are definitely not hyped.

Glancing at the clock on your phone only makes you more anxious as you fight the urge to call him for the fourteenth time. The party has started by now.

This didn’t seem in character for Taehyung. Unless, you dreadfully think, you said something that offended him. Maybe he caught a whiff of your little crush on him. Or maybe he just couldn’t bear to see Soyeon on such a romantic holiday night. Your thoughts are spiraling out of control, you take off your heels in a defeated huff, tempting the idea of shucking them into the neighbor's shrubs.

You take a seat on the front porch, heels still in one hand, and laugh to yourself. This is what you get, huh? You wanted revenge and karma did not feel like taking its time in giving you exactly what you deserve.

Thoughts of Seokjin and Soyeon slow dancing under paper hearts spinning on a string from the ceiling leaves you feeling emptier than ever before.

As a large teardrop drips down your cheek, a car turns into your driveway.

“Y/n?” Taehyung slams his door shut and rushes over to you. He’s wearing his blue suit, the one he picked out to match yours. His hair is styled so that part of his forehead is showing. Emotions overtake you and the tears flow more consistently before you’re able to even attempt to compose yourself.

“What’s wrong? Oh, Y/n what’s wrong?” Taehyung sits next to you and pulls your head to his chest, wrapping one arm around the back of your shoulders while the other one wraps around the front of your body. You clutch your hands to your face, embarrassed beyond belief that you’re sobbing on your front porch on Valentine’s Day to your fake date of the night.

You think about mentioning Seokjin and Soyeon, or the fact that you really don’t want to go to this party anymore. Instead, what comes out is, “I thought you weren’t going to show up!”

Pushing you back so he can see your face, Taehyung takes your hands gently, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles while he looks into your eyes. “I could never leave you behind.”

It feels like your heart plummets down a ten-story building and you want to melt into him.

Continuing before you can get ahead of yourself, Taehyung says, “Did my texts not go through? I said we got the time mixed up. The party starts at eight, not seven. I also stopped by to get you this-” He looks around at the ground beside him for a moment, then motions for you to hold on while he trots over to his car.

“Close your eyes!” He yells while laughing. You wipe your eyes one last time before placing your hands over them. 

You hear his footsteps on the pavement as he gets closer. It’s probably some flowers, a corsage even. 

There’s movement on the top of your head and you flinch, nearly opening your eyes before being stopped by Taehyung. “It’s just me, hold on.” He places something on your head, adjusting it and fixing your hair.

“Perfect!” He steps back. “Go ahead. Open your eyes.”

Slowly, you remove your hands from your face and look around. Taehyung is standing in front of you holding a small compact mirror. Leaning forward, you look until you can see your reflection and the small tiara on your head.

“I saw it on my way over here in some small shop window. I just had to get it for you. It really brings your whole outfit together!” Taehyung’s smile is big and warm, rendering you speechless. 

“No need to thank me!” Taehyung puts the compact mirror in his pant pocket, reaching for you to pull you up. “Seeing everyone’s reaction to how amazing you look is all the thanks I need.”

He walks you to the passenger side of his car and opens the door for you, assisting with your dress to make sure not a single string of fabric gets caught.

“Thank you, Taehyung,” you whisper just before he closes the door. There’s a shine behind his eyes as he nods his head softly, his smile still not wavering.

A nice intense pep talk goes down in Taehyung’s car before you’re both able to walk up to the office hand in hand. You had thought you would be the shaking mess of nerves, but instead, it’s Taehyung’s hand that clutches yours tightly, a slight murmur disrupting his cool demeanor.

All of the office desks have been pushed against one wall with cupid cutouts and (as you predicted earlier) paper hearts hanging from the ceiling. A red light is cast throughout the room giving it a nice sultry feel as light music plays over the speakers. You never realized just how big this floor is. Easily seventy or so people could fit in here for a party. Instead, there’s only about twenty of you.

Everything looked so magical, and yet, it felt oddly prom-like.

You and Taehyung were fashionably late, so as soon as the front door opened with a loud sha-shunk sound, all eyes were on you two.

“Game on.” You smirk, feeling as ready as ever.

“Taehyung! Y/n!” Soyeon’s usual peppy voice wavers over the music. “You’re here!” 

The crowd parts slightly, leaving a space so Seokjin and Soyeon could greet you at the front door.

“Oh, we just couldn’t miss the party of the century!” You laugh, clinging to Taehyung’s upper arm.

“The chance to show off this beautiful lady? Wouldn’t pass that up for anything!” Taehyung is saying this in response to Soyeon, but his eyes are only on you. He gives you a wink for good measure, leaning in slightly until the tips of your noses touch.

“Yeah, like anyone would describe Y/n as a party person,” Seokjin quips. Your eyes narrow, looking over to your ex for the first time. 

You can’t deny how great he looks in his pastel pink suit that perfectly matches Soyeon’s party dress. It accents every curve of his muscles in his arms, his suit jacket practically draping on his wide shoulders.

This might be harder than you were expecting.

“You never really were the type of person to think on their feet, huh, Seokjin?” You chuckle knowing that he really was trying to hurt your feelings in front of everyone. Seokjin glowers at you, his lips a fine, thin line.

Soyeon looks like she wants to say something, but instead grabs Seokjin’s elbow and turns him around, heading back to the middle of the dance floor.

Without looking, you and Taehyung give each other a satisfactory low-five.

“So, snacks? Or dance floor?” Taehyung asks.

“Oh, definitely snacks. I see a bowl of chips calling my name!” You not so graciously speed walk over to said bowl and pick it up, cradling it the same way one would a newborn baby.

Taehyung picks up a large pink cupcake and runs his finger around the frosting, sucking on the digit slowly as he observes the crowd before him.

Soyeon is bent forward slightly, wiggling her butt against Seokjin’s lower regions. The co-workers around them cheer, raising their glasses as they continue to jump to the music. Seokjin doesn’t even look slightly embarrassed. 

“You know, if I would have even dropped low like that to pick up a can of soup or something that fell on the floor, he’d hide his face in shame,” you say with a mouthful of chips.

Taehyung scoffs, shoving the remainder of the cupcake into his mouth. “Ehdgeeut.”

“I bet we could out dance them,” you say more confidently than you actually feel. Without waiting for Taehyung’s response, you grab his greasy cupcake hand and drag him to the dance floor.

Relaxing as much as you can, you try to empty your mind of all fears and anxieties and mimic what you’ve seen in movies and music videos, using Taehyung more as a prop than an actual dance partner.

At first, no one notices you two. But as more co-workers break to grab refreshments, they come back and form a crowd around you two instead of mindlessly migrating back to Seokjin and Soyeon.

And eventually, that left the pair without an audience to flaunt their love in front of.

Taehyung is getting more and more into the movements, and you bet he’s also blocking out the nerves like you are. It’s beautiful watching him smile and enjoy himself, not even noticing the people around him. It definitely helps you feel more comfortable in the spotlight as well.

Pulling you closer, Taehyung lifts up one of your legs and hooks it as his hip, one of his hands roaming up your thigh. Your heart races as his face gets closer to your own, both your foreheads connecting and it feels like you’re breathing the same air.

At this point, you know Seokjin and Soyeon are watching you.

The song ends right as Taehyung pulls you closer and kisses you. It isn’t like any of the fake kisses you’ve exchanged in the office previously. This one is laced with something sweet and spicy, a want you can’t even begin to explain.

And you don’t want to stop kissing him. You don’t want this feeling to end.

“Get a room!” Someone yells from the back, the crowd erupting into laughter as some shield their eyes away from you.

“Maybe we will!” Taehyung yells, grabbing your hand and running with you out of the room and into one of the office hallways.

And as you run, you see Seokjin’s wide, regretful eyes, his shoulders sagging into his suit jacket.

Quite the victory if you’ve ever seen one.

Giggles and shuffling feet is all you can hear throughout the hallway. The cool breeze is barely noticeable against the warm touches from Taehyung's hands around your body. Each time his skin presses against yours, it leaves a ripple of warmth throughout your body, so much so that it feels like you'll never be cold again. 

Your hands grasp the edges of his suit firmly as you momentarily take control, pushing him carefully against the wall so you can kiss him again. Taehyung smiles into the kiss, chuckling deep from his chest as he wraps his arms around your waist. His lips are soft and familiar now and it's become a little too easy to get lost in them. 

At times like this, you forget this is supposed to be pretend. 

Pushing those thoughts away, you continue to dive in. 

These kisses start to feel different than the ones from before. Originally, they were nothing more than quick pecks, not even five seconds long at their most intense. Now, they're slow, both of your lips molding together in slow motion, giving you plenty of time to let your hands roam with minds of their own. Your bodies start to connect like puzzle pieces, like the way your hip naturally leans into his or the way your chest rises up flush against his own. Every time Taehyung's tongue barely sneaks past the edges of his mouth sends a warm chill that blooms deep in your chest, rippling until you feel it in the tips of your fingers. You almost want to sigh in relief the way one would sigh when sinking into a nice warm bath after a long day. 

Seokjin never kissed you like this. 

Slow and steady turns into fast and furious. All of a sudden what you're getting is just not enough. Taehyung pulls at the fabric of your dress, guiding you away from the wall so he can lead you into one of the conference rooms, the very conference room Seokjin and Soyeon will be coming up to in order to exchange Valentine's Day gifts. 

You can't help but wonder if this was done on purpose.

Maybe it's an extreme coincidence that this conference room just so happens to be the closest one for you guys to tumble into.

Once you're past the threshold, Taehyung's in control. He breaks apart the kiss and turns you around, lightly pushing against the small of your back until the front of your body can't go any further: you're now flushed against the conference table. His hands find your hips, moving up and down for a moment, hesitating before boldly moving up to your breasts. 

"Is this okay?" He murmurs with a kiss on the back of your neck, just under your ear as he massages your chest.

It's never felt more okay. Your mind is turning into white static with the built-up attraction. 

"Oh yeah, this is okay." Chuckling, you let your eyes flutter shut, somehow making the experience even more enjoyable this way.

Wasting no time, Taehyung shucks off his suit jacket in one clean motion, tossing it aside carelessly and diving back into your lips.

“Nuh-uh,” you moan against his lips, indicating to his shirt, “off.”

Chuckling, Taehyung breaks away and slowly starts to unbutton his shirt.

“Are you punishing me now?” You laugh, already missing the feeling of him on your skin.

“I can go slower than this,” he plays, the tip of his tongue poking past the side of his lips. Normally you wouldn’t mind a little strip tease or the build of anticipation. But right now, you’re anxious to get him inside of you.

Sauntering over, Taehyung is only halfway down his shirt when he’s close enough for you to grab.

And so you do.

You take his tie into your fist and pull him close, his face now inches from yours. Taehyung’s breathing is heavy, his chest moving up and down almost as quick as your heart is beating.

You move in like you’re about to kiss him, but stop short just as your lips barely brush against his.

“I don’t play games,” you whisper, showing your teeth as you smile.

“Funny,” Taehyung murmurs back, grabbing onto your hips and flipping you around until your ass is flushed against his crotch area, his tie still laced between your fingers, “Didn’t seem that way when you asked me to play along with your little scheme.”

All you can manage is a soft sigh, allowing yourself to relax against his body and letting his tie slip past your fingers.

This is all a game, you remind yourself. Or, at least, it started out as one.

Taehyung unzips the back of your dress, leaving a trail of kisses along the way. If there is a world record for the most amount of times a person has shuddered with chills in the span of ten minutes, well, you would have beaten that record by a mile.

And although you enjoy each kiss and each touch, it’s all going far too slow.

Using what goods you have in the back, you push out with enough force to back Taehyung a step. It was just enough for you to be able to spin around to face him and drop your dress to your feet.

“Wow,” Taehyung gasps, “you are absolutely beautiful.”

“Thanks,” you raise an eyebrow confidently, “I showed you mine, now show me yours.”

Without question, Taehyung moves to undo his belt, still moving rather slowly as he unbuttons his pants.

Your eyes follow his hands as they move back up his legs. Eyeing his frontal area, you’re surprised to see that he isn’t hard yet.

You try not to show your disappointment, but Taehyung notices right away.

Bashfully, he grips the back of his neck with one hand, looking down and apologizing. “I’m just kind of nervous is all.”

“No, no! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable! I was just a little surprised! If you’re not ready we don’t have to do anything.” It suddenly feels very cold in this room.

Taehyung smiles again, this time more innocently than before, “I want to. Trust me.”

Closing the distance between you two, you kiss him on the lips slowly, waiting for him to take the lead.

It doesn’t take him nearly as long as you had anticipated.

Taehyung’s mouth moves feverishly against yours, that fire instantly igniting back between your two bodies. His hand grips the side of your neck gently, his thumb resting just behind your jawline. It isn’t until your fingernails trail the edge of his spine that his grip hardens slightly, taking your breath away.

Taehyung’s free hand moves to your back to unclasp your bra, doing so in an impressive one try. His hand is instantly on one of your breasts, massaging it roughly.

That is all the touch you need before you’re ready for him.

Your thumb slips past the hem of his boxers, pulling them down and away from his skin. Taehyung steps out of them now completely naked before you. As you continue to kiss, you can’t help but chance a peek at what he has lying below.

And what he has does not disappoint.

“Wow!” You gasp, “Soyeon left you for Seokjin? No wonder she seems more high strung than usual.”

Laughing, Taehyung stops his ministrations and rests his head on your shoulder in embarrassment. 

“And then you,” he returns, “Soyeon may be pretty, but she’s also flatter than a piece of cardboard. You?” He whistles and manages to bring his head back up, eyeing you up and down while biting his bottom lip.

“He’s stupid,” Taehyung concludes.

“And she’s an idiot.” You smile.

“Enough about them,” Taehyung takes both of his hands and grasps your panties. With one swift motion, he rips the fabric in two and is moving you back to the table, back to the original position you were in, “this is about us.”

In his hand, Taehyung shows a condom he must have pulled out of his pocket before. You honestly don’t remember seeing him do it, but you nod your head quickly up and down. Taking it between his teeth, Taehyung rips the fabric and promptly places the condom on the tip of his cock, unrolling it carefully. Your thighs tingle with anticipation, your vagina yearning to be filled by him.

Spreading your legs out so that your feet rest on the tops of the neighboring chairs, you nod your head once more for Taehyung.

Slowly, he inches the tip of his cock to your entrance. 

Taehyung’s arms are placed on either side of your hips and you use his stance to grip his biceps, holding on for dear life as you try to mentally prepare for the massiveness that’s about to enter your body.

Taehyung guides his cock up and down your folds just once before diving right in.

The stretch is absolutely delicious, immediately your eyes roll back with bliss. He’s only able to get inside of you a quarter of the way before he slides back out, repeating the process until he’s able to inch further and further. For a moment it seemed like he wouldn’t be able to bottom out in you. But if you’ve learned anything from this time you’ve spent with Taehyung, it’s that this man is determined.

One final thrust and it feels like he’s pushing straight through your G-spot.

You’re out of breath as you cling to him more aggressively, not able to even comprehend what it would feel like for him to pound into you with everything he’s got.

Taehyung searches for your mouth, planting a long, deep kiss on your lips as he slowly starts to rock his hips back and forth. There’s a tense hunger from his lips that you try to match, but the pleasure you’re feeling down below is distracting your every thought.

After a few moments pass and the strong build-up, you initially felt seems to simmer out. 

Despite the intense need for one another, there's something between you and Taehyung that's different than what you had with Seokjin: spark.

The thought hits you. Hard. So much so that it stuns you into a motionless blob. In retrospect, it isn't even that big of a revelation, but it's enough to put some ease on your mind.

"Y/n. Are you okay?" Tentatively, Taehyung stops for a moment and makes sure to meet your eyes.

Opening your mouth to respond, instead of words an eruption of laughter takes over you growing gradually until your entire body shakes with it. You clasp your hands over your mouth to try to contain it, but it only seems to worsen the giggles.

"I'm so sorry, Taehyung," you finally manage, "I just realized— I don't think…” you take a deep breath, ignoring the screaming voice in your head telling you to shut up, “I don’t think I like you in this way."

There's a moment where Taehyung and you both look down at where your body's currently intertwined and for a second you're afraid that you've possibly hurt his feelings.

He inhales slowly, releasing the air quickly soon after with an 'ahhh' sound. "Oh thank goodness! I wasn't sure if it was just me, but I started to realize the same thing about two minutes ago."

Laughter bubbles from your throat naturally, your lips vibrating as you try to hold it in. But, it’s no use. Taehyung sees you laughing and he can’t help but do the same.

“We should probably get out of here before we make an even bigger fool of ourselves. We can get Chinese? Hang out at my place and talk and watch a movie? I feel like we should talk.”

You’re about to verbally agree when a blinding light interrupts your thoughts.

“Oh my god!” A squeaky voice trills by the doorway, echoing throughout the room. 

You and Taehyung freeze in place; he hasn’t even had the chance to remove his cock from your pussy.

The intense feeling of drowning consumes you as your vision finally comes to focus. At the doorway are Seokjin and Soyeon.

“Y/N?” Seokjin’s voice cracks in disbelief at the sight in front of him.

Panic sets in. How stupid was this idea? Who thought you should go to a work party, strip naked, and start having sex with one of your coworkers on the table in one of the conference rooms?

If it were just Seokjin and Soyeon, your embarrassment would still be there, but at a much more containable and manageable amount. 

The entire office staff on the other hand...you were not prepared for that.

“Everyone leave!” Seokjin yells, turning his back to you and ushering the other coworkers away. As he’s doing so, Taehyung slips out of you, running over to where your clothes were discarded and throwing them at you with haste as he rushes to dress the lower half of himself.

Your arms feel numb as you pull your dress over your head, not even bothering with your bra or panties.

Seokjin returns and closes the door. Soyeon is covering her eyes, her back turned to you and Taehyung slightly as she’s muttering something to herself. Her perfect black hair cascades into a perfect curtain to shield her eyes from your nakedness.

“This is going to sound so cliche,” Taehyung starts after too many seconds of awkward silence pass between the four of you, “but this is not what it looks like.”

Soyeon makes an abundance of gibberish sounds with an aghast look on her face before finally blurting out, “Look like what? Like you weren’t caught having sex with each other?! Jesus, Taehyung! We knew you guys were all over each other but I thought you had enough decency to keep that stuff in the bedroom!” She puts her palms out towards you both and shakes them before turning away once again with her head down, shaking it in disbelief.

“That’s the thing! It’s complicated!” You shout, desperately trying to zip up the back of your dress by yourself.

“Were you or were you not just having sex?” Seokjin says sternly, looking directly at you like a disappointed father. You give up the fight with the zipper and sit down in one of the chairs behind you. It’s you he wants the response from, you can tell by fact that he hasn’t given Taehyung a single glance.

“Yes, but-”

“Then that’s the answer, Y/n. We get it!” Seokjin turns to Soyeon and gives her a gross affectionate kiss on the cheek. “You guys are jealous of the love we found and you didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. So, naturally, you turned to each other!”

Taehyung looks at you, and you at him, once again neither of you being able to look at each other seriously and you both start to laugh, yet again.

“We aren’t actually seeing each other!” Taehyung leans against the wall so casually, you wonder where this confidence has come from. It looks good on him.

If it weren’t Taehyung, you wouldn’t be so calm about confessing your conniving plans of fake dating. The way he’s so casually laughing and accepting the fact that you were both caught helps ease the anxieties you know you would have felt. And in this moment you realize why he’s not upset and why he’s not embarrassed: he’s finally moving on from Soyeon.

And, you guess, the same thing is happening with you with Seokjin.

“We faked it all,” you smile genuinely, “Of course we were upset when you guys got together, but honestly for myself, I would have had an easier time moving on if you two weren’t constantly shoving your love down everyone’s throats.”

“We’re surprised you haven’t been in a hallmark movie yet,” Taehyung adds.

“Exactly!” Pointing at Taehyung as he nods his head, you relax even more.

Seokjin and Soyeon stare at the two of you, stunned on an entirely new level. Looks like you and Taehyung are the first to tell them how gross and obnoxious their PDA has been.

Soyeon looks at Taehyung with a weird glint in her eyes, one that makes you instantly suspicious of what she’s about to say. 

“Taehyung, let’s get out of here,” you suggest. “I may not be in love with you romantically, but I think it’s safe to say we’re pretty great friends. And as your new great friend, I suggest we quit our jobs and run off together into this sunset!” You jump up quickly and hold out your arm for him to take.

“I agree completely, Y/n!” Taehyung jumps with just as much fervor as you and gladly takes your arm.

As the two of you start to skip past a dumbstruck pair of exes, you pause before Seokjin and boop the tip of his nose playfully. “You’ll tell the boss for us, won’t you?” You wink and continue on with Taehyung.

Deep down, you’d give anything to go back in there and explain the situation entirely with your ex, to have one last heart to heart and really see just what’s going through his head and to get some sort of closure. But you know it’s not healthy to act that way anymore. It’s better to move on and enjoy the day with your newfound friend. So what if you’re single this Valentine’s Day. At least you get to be single with Taehyung.

Later that night, as Spongebob plays in the background of Taehyung’s living room, you look around at all the empty Chinese takeout boxes and at Taehyung passed out on his side of the couch, and you realize for the first time you feel genuinely at peace. Sure, you know it’s going to take some time to fully get over Seokjin. 

With a friend like Taehyung by your side through it all, though, you know it won’t be so bad.

let me know what you think! :)

𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

© all rights reserved. do not copy, modify, translate, or repost. Jinned 02/12/21

#taehyung smut #smutcentralnet #thekpopnet #bangtanarmynet #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #btsguild #kim taehyung #bts #taehyung #bts smut #taehyung x reader #bts x reader #taehyung x y/n #bts x you #taehyung x you #bts reader insert #taehyung coworker #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung fics #bts fic #ex seokjin #ex soyeon #taehyung s2l

[teddy06writes]

do you think- you could make a sapnap x karl x quackity x reader where the reader attempts to tell the boys they're non binary but they weren't ready yet and just brushes it off as they were about to tell them, leaving the boys confused and concerned and then asking about it a few days after and the reader kinda just like, f r e a k s o ut like, crying cause they're scared to tell em, making the boys more concerned and the reader just kinda, mumbles it out through the tears and the boys are heckin relieved cause they thought it was something bad and they like, help the reader chill out and like the end would be like really fluffy and like they ask their pronouns (they/them) and like it's really s oft towards the end and heuegeudhs

feel free to like change anything up if needed/want to👉👈 also sorry this was like- kinda long-

also another anon asked for more karlnapity x reader

sapnap x karl x quackity x nonbinary!reader

trigger warnings: mild panic attack, swearing

premise: coming out to your boyfriends can be scary

(y/d/n)- your deadname

“blep” talking

‘blep’ thinking

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You took a deep breath, shaking out your hands at your sides, ‘I can do this’

After about a week of freaking out over the whole situation, you were finally ready to come out to your boyfriends as nonbinary.

Once you figured it out yourself you had begun to worry about what they would say, what would happen.

You took another deep breath before heading back out of the bathroom, back down through to the living room, where Karl, Alex and Nick were still on the couch where you had left them.

Biting your lip, you sat down slowly, ‘it’ll be better to just tell them’ you thought.

“H- hey, uh- I have something to- uh- to tell you guys.” The words tumbled out of your mouth far sooner than you excepted.

“Yeah?” Alex asked.

Suddenly there eyes were all on you and the pressure was rising, “uh- i- it- uh-” You gulped, quickly stuttering out, “You know what? never mind. It- it-s no- it’s not imp- important.”

Karl frowned, almost as if he could tell something was wrong, though he stayed quiet.

Nick shrugged, “Okay.”

You leaned back against the couch, not your boyfriends, picking at the hem of your hoodie nervously, ‘not yet, It- we can still save it’

~~

“Is (y/d/n) being weird or is that just me?” Karl asked.

Alex nodded, “Something has just seemed off since movie night.”

“Do you think we should ask?” Nick questioned, “What if we just make things worse?”

“I think we have to ask, it’s been a week and (y/d/n) is still acting strange.” Alex said.

Karl nodded, and jumped off where he was perched on the counter, “I say we go now.”

The others nodded, and followed him out of the room, and up to your office, where you turned with a smile that seemed too forced, “What’s up?”

“Hey, we- we were wondering,” Nick started.

“What were you going to tell us the other day?”

You froze, heart beginning to pound as Alex said, “It just seems like it’s bothering you and we want to know if something bad is happening.”

Vaguely you felt tears prick up in your eyes, as your fists closed hard, nails digging into your palms.

“Hey, it’s okay, we just want to know what's going on.” You flinched away from where Karl tried to put his hand on your shoulder.

Your breathing quickened as they started to get more concerned, prodding you with further questions.

You dragged your knees up to your chest, unsure when the tears began to flow.

“We want to know how we can help you baby.” Alex said softly.

You sniffed, mumbling, “I’m nonbinary.”

They seemed to freeze and you spiraled further into panic, clutching onto your knees as if they were a life raft.

Distantly you could hear Karl telling you to breath, Nick and Alex both exaggerating there breathing for you to copy.

Slowly your heaving breaths slowed, and you allowed Karl to wrap his arms around you.

“Why didn’t you tell us darling?” He asked softly.

Nick nodded, “We love you, nothing like your gender changing would change that.”

“Do you want to go by a different name? Or still (y/d/n)?” Alex asked.

“I was thinking (y/n).” You mumbled.

“Prefect. Just like you.” Karl smiled.

Nick scooped you up out of your chair, carrying you back to the living room and setting you gently on the couch.

Karl and Alex packed around you, holding you tight.

“We’ll always love you.”

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagines #sapnap x reader #karl jacobs x reader #quackity x reader #sapnap x karl x quackity x reader #teddy06 writes

[inkdemonapologist]

Tfw it’s like 6am and your penpal shows up at your hotel room but he’s like partially a demon and also won’t stop smiling????

Hi again Allison we’re all Very Normal

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

ANYWAY HAVE SOME, OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES for Session 6!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] You said you were there for... inSPECTION?? [Jack] In hindsight, that must've been a HECK of a Fast Talk considering half the group is in pyjamas.

[Henry] It wouldn't be the first time someone tried to sacrifice Henry.

[GM] *about Sammy's sacrifice attempts* He was very polite about it. [Sammy] Yeah, he was! [Henry] He was very polite, he gets points for politeness. [GM] And then he got yelled at, so unfairly! By someone. [Sammy] And then melted! So everyone was on the whole very rude about it. It's your own fault he's like this now.

[GM] We'll say it's ajar, how about that? [Joey] Oh, I thought it was a door.

[Sammy] You can spend Luck!! [Jack] Do I want to use Luck points, though? Here's the problem, I'm the person who finishes the JRPG with twelve thousand healing items, and has used TWO. [Sammy] Here's my counterargument: if your Luck gets really low, you start failing Luck checks, and bad things happen to your character. [Jack] ...that's a perfect counterargument, I'm going to do it.

[GM] You both spot the hat with the press card! Lying on the floor, over by one corner of the sliding doors. [Jack] Oh that's BETTER than taking sanity damage! [Sammy] EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!

[Joey] There's another jug of space juice. [Sammy] I don't want space juice!! I WANT PAINT.

[Henry] *tired* Hey, Sam. [Sammy] What providence, my little sheep! [Henry] ...Good to see you too.

[Sammy] Go into the other room and introduce yourself! [Joey] With two hats on. [Sammy] ASSERT DOMINANCE!

[Jack] Jack is going to take the hat. He's going to have, uh, at least one emotion. [Jack] Maybe more [Jack] Imagine

[Joey] Joey is immediately going to clamp his hand onto Sammy's shoulder, and ask him if he can feel it. [Sammy] UHHH? His... hand...? [Joey] Not-- No, the stone. [Sammy] OH

[Jack] Jack, how are you going to communicate this if one of your hands is taken up by a hat? [Joey] Interpretative dance! [Sammy] Put hat in elbow while writing, you can juggle stuff, [Henry] Put the hat on. Over your other hat.

[Sammy] Sammy will scurry with or without the sheep, but they are his navigation system, so,

[Joey] That is a place we are known to be by the people who tried to... murder us?? Or something. Snake us??????? [Jack] (Snurder.) [Joey] Snurder us.

[Henry] We're just gonna grab our stuff and head out and... let you finish dealing with the sNAKE, I guess!! [Jack] (the snake has already been dealt with!) [Henry] Okay, but the aftermath of the snake! The snaftermath.

[Sammy] In case we get grabbed by an Angel [Sammy] the much less well-liked sequel to Touched by an Angel,

[Sammy] You traitorous sheep, this is not what I asked you for! [Joey] Do you want to die. Is that what you’re interested in?! Just, sacrificing yourself, without doing the proper rituals, not getting anything done--?! [Sammy] What do you know of proper rituals?! [GM] (....quite a lot, actually,) [Joey] Yeah! Much more than you do! And I will make an intimidation roll! [Jack] Boys,... you’re both pretty,... it’s okay....

[Joey] We’re pretty sure there’s Angels.... does she know how to kill them. [Jack] What a first thing to—! No pleasantries, no “please excuse the fact that I’m grinning and have weird eyes and also Sammy has weird eyes and also I have a tail,”

[GM, speaking for Allison] She would like to know what all this is about! [Joey] We’re having problems— [Sammy] He tried to contain something that should not be contained!! [Joey] Shut up, Sammy! We’re having problems!

[Joey] Joey is just going to quickly explain that he.................... [Joey] *mumbling to himself* how do you explain this???

[Joey] Um... I guess he’s going to mentally ping Bendy and ask him how he would describe himself? Like... what was his job, I guess?? Security??? [GM] Bendy says that he’s an eldritch construct that was defending a cult... and now he is something else! That he doesn’t have a word for. [Jack] !! He’s a FRIEND now!!! [GM] He’s friend-shaped! But not at the moment. [Joey] No, right now he’s Joey-shaped.

[Sammy] I mean the whole body is garbage but you apparently want Sammy to wear clothes, so whatever.

[GM] Allison adds that she thinks she might have a connection to get you guys in to the party, if you need that -- [Joey] Wouldn't hurt! [GM] -- so long as you don't mind pretending to be the help! [Joey] ...hm,,,

[Joey] Admittedly, having two angles would be better than one. [GM] Two angels, what? [Sammy] There's an "I can be your angle or yuor devil" joke somewhere in this campaign...

[Sammy] Well, we've learned how to bind an angel, [Jack] Gotta teach the angel proper binding techniques!

[Sammy] Sammy will thank Allison for her help. [Joey] Oh god, there IS something wrong with him!

[Joey] Let's go get Norman tied up in this more! So we can hire him later!!

[Sammy] Jack over there like "I hope it doesn't taste bad" meanwhile Sammy's been grimacing as he swallows paint for the last two hours, [GM] Ink is much better, didn't you know! [Sammy] Ink is better... this tastes wrong... [Joey] I just really love the idea of Sammy longingly looking at Joey's flask like, "aw, you have the good medicine, mine tastes like the terrible cherry crap!"

[GM] So you all have shots with Allison! Space juice shots. [Jack] What a way to start the morning!

[Jack] These boys are gonna heckin' pass out! [GM] They got, what, maybe 3 hours of sleep? [Jack] And all of Jack's sleep last night was sat upright in bed, with his glasses on, surrounded by notes, [Henry] sounds like college [Jack] You're exactly right, Jack's sleep was exactly like college! He was stressed, he didn't sleep for very long, he was surrounded by notes, Pete was there,

[Joey] *saying farewell to Allison* Keep yourself safe; don't go out where we're going. [Joey] Unless we don't return, then pLEASE COME OUT AND FIND US,

[GM] Norman says, "Oh, I see you're back with your friends, Smiley." [Jack] I love the concept of Norman calling Sammy "Smiley," and then Prophet Sammy, in response to this, smiles, and Norman has no idea if this is like, weird? or some kind of strange power move to assert dominance.

[GM, as Norman] When I said I saw things happening on the 2nd, you're the one that went pale! [Joey] How's Prophet Sammy's cONCEPT OF TIME, [Sammy] Not great!!!! [Sammy] I don't think he... knows when the 2nd was.

[Sammy] Forgive my memory. That doesn’t ring a bell! [Joey] He's... a little affected right now. [Norman] ...you don't say...

[Joey] Listen. I have $75 here for you, to take us out to the lake, as soon as possible. [a couple minutes of googling later] [Jack] That's equivalent to $1,464. Joey. [Sammy] CAN YOU IMAGINE?? "We need you to take us to the lake please" "Alright, but explain to me what's going on?" "SORRY, the guy who said that is clearly HIGH OUT OF HIS MIND, here's A THOUSAND DOLLARS, take us to the lake please!" [Jack] its a trip to the lake, what could it cost, $75 [Joey] *laughing* I should've looked up how much money I was saying before I was saying it, [Sammy] No, no, I think this is accurate to JOEY DREW

[Henry] Henry is just watching everything happening... [Sammy] Henry is waiting for the next video game breadcrumb trail to show up. [Henry] YEAH, [Jack] “Oh! Looks like I need to put three gears in this thing!”

[Sammy] I'm so angry on Sammy's behalf that you've made him meet two different people like this.

[Joey] If he does ask for money later, Joey's going to give it to him, because he has no concept of.... money.... [Sammy] No concept of GIVING OUT ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS [Jack] Can Joey Drew meet me, in real life, please? [Joey] I don't know if you want that to happen,, that might be more of a curse,,, [Jack] I'll take a curse! Gimme money! [Sammy] vOICE OF EVERY JDS EMPLOYEE

[GM] And you've got suits, and dress shoes...... [Sammy] We are not dressed for this. [Sammy] ...We are more dressed for it than we were earlier. I promise you, Norman, this is a step up, believe it or not.

[Sammy] Probably making a face because it tastes bad. [Henry] Tastes like paint! [GM] The cab driver might just wonder if that's a new drink this year. [Sammy] If nobody jumped on top of Sammy to stop him from using his mouth, he would probably say something with vibes of "this is beyond your comprehension" [Joey] Joey might try to stop that, and instead just be like, “Yes. It is.” [Henry] He's high. Don't worry about it. [Jack] Driver's just like "oh, I should try some of that when I get off work, seems like a good time!" [Sammy] You should! It'll open your eyes! [Sammy] (I'll stop evangelising the cab driver now.)

[Henry] Henry is: Sims Tense Moodlet.

[Joey] Joey instantly does not like this, and it is apparent on his face, if Sammy can see it in the mist. [Sammy] Probably not! [Jack] You could say he mist it!

[Henry] We need to hurry—! [Sammy] *screaming* THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING!!!!!!

[Sammy] Sammy will be, sort of... whispering reassurance? I don't know how reassuring it actually is, [Henry] I'm sorry Sam, nothing about you is reassuring right now. [Sammy] Just kind of like, hush hush, come my sheep, that sort of thing, [Joey] Prophet ASMR Channel! [Jack] I'm sure Jack would appreciate this actually, it's a shame he's not the one getting this, [Joey] No, he's getting whatever comfort Joey can offer, which, uh, [Sammy] Well, and I will say, he's not like, whispering it in Henry's ear, like-- [Jack] I don't think Sammy in any form is capable of whispering. [Sammy] ...y'know [Sammy] that's fair

[Sammy] Well everyone's doing alright! We're doing great, it's going great! [Jack] Nooooo! No going great! I want more insanities! [Jack] ...I can stop at any time, I swear.

[Sammy] We can hold Norman's hand if you want, like, that's up to you. [Joey] Roll for gay, Norman! [Henry] Take him to dinner first,

[Sammy] This is such a bad idea that we're having.

[Joey] Joey is probably at this point holding onto someone else to guide him, and more in his head than not. [Sammy] Sammy's out of hands at this point, Joey, so you'll just have to figure this out. [Sammy] Got his hands full of sheep.

[Joey] Did Norman drink the juice. [GM] Did he...? Did he...... I think he was convinced enough by “this drink will save your life” that he does take a drink! [Joey] I'll roll intimidation if that helps! [GM] Yeah, you can roll to see how quickly he does it, or if he drinks enough of it. [Joey] *rolls* That's an EXTREME SUCCESS. [GM] Well, there we go; there's a preview, Norman, of your work environment!

#call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #joey drew #when in doubt just keep drawing #jack henry sammy and allison are here too #i just love the permasmile so much

[daydreamingnightowl]

Working From Home. Jotaro Kujo x Reader

notes: I am soooo sorry for being MIA! I recently entered college and I’m having a hard time keeping up :( here's something to make it up to yall. (will be making a part 2 of this) I’ll be doing another version of this, but it's Aizawa and Eri! I'm about to finish a request, so hang tight! Requests are still open by the way, don’t forget to read the rules first!

warnings: a curse word

-Jolyne was veeeery excited when Jotaro told her that he will be working from home temporarily, until the pandemic ends

-Jolyne: Does that mean we'll get to play dollies more?

-Jotaro: Yes, Jolyne. We'll play more dollies.

-Jolyne: And dress up too?

-Jotaro: Yes.

-omg imagine Jolyne playing with Star Platinum's hair???? heckin’ adorable

-he looks huge compared to Jolyne’s dolls, but the two of them don’t mind at all

-she'll be clinging to him 24/7

-"Daddy, I missed you!"

-"I literally just went to the bathroom."

-it's as if she can replace Star Platinum, since she's ALWAYS with him

-Star Platinum won’t complain at all. He plays with Jolyne with every chance he can get

-she likes to cling on his leg while Jotaro’s walking around the house

-and when Joot is at your home gym doing push ups, Jolyne would be sitting on his back, encouraging him

-she’s daddy’s water girl 

-tries to do push ups too, so she can be “strong as daddy”

-Jolyne prefers to be in the same room as him everytime she has her online classes (she claims that working with his dad makes her motivated, but mainly it’s so that she can flex her dad’s wall full of books and his office, in general) but would leave him alone when necessary

-on their art class, they were asked to draw some animals they can see at a zoo

-Jolyne: Dad, what do you call that water pig?

-Jotaro: What water pig?

-Jolyne: They look like pigs, and they're brown

-Jotaro: Hippopotamus.

-Jolyne: Hippo...tatos!

-Joot's heart m e l t e d

-you were with them at the time, so you made her repeat it again to record it

-FACT: your phone storage is full of photos and videos of them

-Jotaro giving Jolyne a piggy back ride? gotta take a pic of that

-Star Platinum playing with Jolyne cause Jotaro is busy? must! take! a! video!

-and a photo of Joot with makeup on (of course, you took the photo in secret)

-she will start to sleep on your and Jotaro's bed

-Jotaro: you do know you have your own bed, right?

-Jolyne: b-but I just wanna sleep with you and mommy *puppy eyes*

-Jotaro: damn those puppy eyes fine

-he managed to make her sleep on her own bed eventually

-but the first thing she’ll do in the morning is to wake you and your husband up

-don’t get him wrong: he loves the attention he’s getting from Jolyne. he’s just wondering why she doesn’t have time for herself, you know?

BONUS:

“Good morning, mommy, daddy!” Jolyne’s voice echoed through the hallway, Star Platinum instantly appearing and opened the door for the child, hugging her after letting her in. You buried your face further into Jotaro’s clothed chest with a groan. “Five more minutes, baby.” Said man wrapped around your small figure, exhaling loudly. He’s so warm, you could feel yourself falling asleep immediately.

“Get uuuup! I have something important to say!” She then proceeded to climb up the bed and started jumping around, making the bed bounce. Welp, there goes your “five more minutes”.

“What is it this time, Jolyne?” Jotaro’s groggily asked. He just wanted to sleep for a few more hours, since his work kept him up until 4AM. What you heard next definitely made you and Jotaro’s eyes snap open.

“Being alone is boring. I want a baby brother!”

#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #JoJo no Kimyō na Bōken #jojo #jojo x reader #jotaro kujo #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro #part 4 jotaro #Diamond is Unbreakable #jjba x reader