A little late but! Some Kanera for @monthly-challenge Februfluff day 16: caretaking
Ever since Malachor, Kanan had spent a lot of time up at odd hours. A combination of nightmares, lingering pain from his wounds, and painkillers had seen him up in the wee hours of the morning while he was recovering. Even now that things were getting back to normal, he still woke up at random hours.
Some nights he went back to sleep. Others he meditated, either in his room or out on the far edge of the base.
And other nights, like tonight, the restless energy was too much for him. So he got up, slipping out of his room quietly so as to not wake any of the others on board the Ghost.
Kanan’s goal was the kitchen, as it usually was. Sometimes he’d make caf or tea, other times he’d make himself something to eat. Ezra had joined him a few times lately, so as he made his way down the hallway, he listened carefully.
He didn’t hear anything immediately. But as he entered the lounge, he sensed a familiar presence, and it wasn’t Ezra.
“Hera?” he asked, keeping his voice low as he frowned.
“Kanan?” Surprise colored her voice, and he heard her set down what sounded like a datapad. “What are you doing up?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” Kanan said, crossing the room to stand in front of the table she was sitting at. Letting his fingertips brush the tabletop, grounding himself, he said, “Is it the same for you, or have you just not gone to sleep yet?”
Her hesitation answered the question for him, and Kanan held back a wince. Hera had always had a habit of working long hours, from the first day he’d met her. It had only grown worse since they’d joined the Rebellion. And these days it had reached a fever pitch. “When was the last time you got a full night’s sleep?” he asked.
“When was the last time you did?” Hera countered, and Kanan couldn’t hold back a grin.
“That’s different,” he said. “I’m at least trying. You’ve been up since crazy early this morning— you need rest, Hera. We need you operating at your best.”
He heard her sigh— a sigh that he recognized well. It was the stubborn one, that meant she had no intentions of listening to him. “What we need is more people in this Rebellion. Until then, I’m what we’ve got. The longer I let these things slide, the worse it’ll get.”
She’s definitely not gonna listen to me. Plan B, then. “Okay,” Kanan said with a sigh. “I’m going to make something to drink. You want something?”
“Yes, please,” Hera murmured, her voice distracting as she tapped at her datapad. Already back to work. Kanan grimaced as he headed into the kitchen. This wasn’t going to be easy.
It took him a few minutes to locate the kettle— someone had moved it from its usual place. Filling it with water, he set it on the stove and started sorting through the tea boxes in the cupboard.
Sabine had recently gone through the cupboards and relabelled everything. She’d used a Morse code inspired system of raised dots and dashes, so Kanan could still read the labels. It was still taking a little getting used to, but it certainly helped with baking. Or, in this case, locating tea.
It wasn’t long before he found the teabags he was looking for— Chandrilan tea, fairly well known for its soothing quality that helped with sleeplessness. Leaving them on the counter, he grabbed two mugs from the cupboard just as the kettle started to whistle. He was pretty certain that he’d gotten the right mugs— he and Hera had drunk caf together enough times that blind or not, Kanan would know the shape and feeling of her favorite one in his hand anywhere.
Setting them down, he carefully filled them with hot water from the kettle, and added the teabags. Leaving them to steep for a while, he went to the other side of the kitchen and started digging through the fridge. While it wasn’t absolutely necessary to his plan, Kanan was pretty sure it had been a while since Hera had eaten— thinking back, he didn’t remember her being there with them at dinner. Internally, he cursed. I’ve been way too distracted lately. That stops now.
He almost got out the ingredients for waffles— but if he did, there was no way Ezra wouldn’t be out here in less than five minutes. His apprentice had an uncanny ability to sense when Kanan was making waffles, and the last thing he needed was more people up right now. The current goal was to get Hera to sleep, not keep her awake longer.
So instead, he pulled out a container of leftover chicken pot pie and heated that up. Filling a bowl with it, he stopped to collect their two mugs and a fork, and headed back out to the lounge.
Hera was still absorbed in her datapad, and didn’t notice as Kanan set the bowl, then the mug in front of her. Kanan paused for a minute, then said, “Hera?”
“Hmm?” Her voice was distracted, and Kanan sighed.
“Sorry about this.” Reaching out, he plucked the datapad out of her hands.
“Wha— Kanan!”
Tucking the pad under his arm, Kanan reached out with the other hand and pushed the bowl in front of her. “Eat,” he said firmly. “And have some tea. I’ll give it back when you’ve finished.”
“Kanan—”
“Hera,” Kanan said, his voice a little more forceful. “Just do it.”
There was a brief pause, and Kanan could picture the struggle in Hera’s eyes. Finally, she let out a long sigh. “Fine. But I’m getting back to work after that.”
Kanan chose not to comment on that. Instead, he settled next to her with his own mug. Listening to the sound of the fork clinking against the bowl, he sipped his tea, letting the silence settle around them.
It was a little while before Hera spoke. “Thank you,” she said quietly.
Kanan smiled into his mug. “Any time, Hera. Have you drunk your tea yet?”
Letting out a huff, Hera said, “You know, you’re awfully hover-y tonight, Master Jedi.”
“Making up for lost time, Captain Hera.”
“I’m glad.” Her response was softer, a little warmer, and Kanan felt her shift a little closer to him, shoulder bumping against his.
There was a brief silence, then Hera said, “So, what’s it gonna take for me to get that datapad back?”
Kanan laughed. “Tell you what. You drink your tea, and I'll let you have your datapad back.”
“Datapad first,” Hera said. “And don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, dear. It’s not going to work.”
Handing her the pad, Kanan said innocently, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Uh-huh.”
As Hera leaned forward, picking up the mug of tea, Kanan slid nearer to her, closing the distance between them. She didn’t protest, nestling in the crook of his shoulder with a quiet sigh. Kanan wrapped her arm around her shoulders, and they settled into an easy silence.
The next little while passed by peacefully, with Hera working at her datapad and Kanan keeping her company. However, as time ticked by and Hera finished her tea, he could sense her getting more and more tired. The sound of her tapping at the datapad was less frequent, and he heard her stifle multiple yawns.
Gently, he brushed his fingertips up and down her arm, a repetitive, soothing stroke that was sure to lull her to sleep. It was one of his most surefire tactics, and it didn’t disappoint. Kanan felt her head bump against his shoulder before pulling upwards again. “I know what you’re doing,” she mumbled, her voice heavy with sleepiness.
Silently, Kanan reached out with the Force just in time to catch the datapad that slipped from Hera’s fingers. “I know,” he murmured as her head dropped against his shoulder. “You can yell at me tomorrow.”
“Sounds good.” Her words trailed off into an incomprehensible hum, and Kanan smiled. It was only seconds later that he felt her breathing even out into the slow rhythm of sleep.
“Sleep well, Captain Hera,” he whispered, pressing a kiss against her temple before closing his own eyes. He had a feeling nightmares wouldn’t bother him here.
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The Gannet (WIP) - Moodboard & Notes
" By today’s way of thinking, showing no fear of humans ought to be an endearing, if rare quality among wild species. Not so in the past. If a gannet’s nest site could be reached, the young of our largest seabird was easily seized and killed. This naive trust led Carl Linnaeus to classify its genus as Morus, ancient Greek for ‘stupid’.
The same unfearing nature is found in the gannet’s close relative, booby. The English name "booby" was possibly based on the Spanish slang term bobo, meaning "stupid”, as these tame birds had a habit of landing on board sailing ships, where they were easily captured and eaten. "
" Encountering a gannet is good luck, especially for someone who is about to undertake a voyage. Gannets spend long stretches of their lives at sea, diving from impressive heights onto shoals of fish and squid below. A gannet encounter can indicate a thirst for adventure as well as an inner fortitude that allows one to weather whatever storms may come. In addition, encountering a gannet may be a sign to take heart and have courage. Gannets must trust themselves to stay aloft over miles and miles of roiling sea. Furthermore, when the time is right these birds take death-defying plunges into the foamy waves. Encountering a gannet may be a sign to trust your instincts or to “take the plunge” and courageously dive into whatever challenge life sends your way. "
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The Gannet
The dull sting of a thin walking stick—nothing but a rod, in all honesty—whacked across the center of ??s back, his spine jerking upright in an instant. The hit wasn’t that hard. He knew it could’ve been worse, knew it had been worse in the past.
“Stop being nosy, and sit up proper, for heaven’s sake,” Mrs Malcolm(??) scolded drily.
Biting on his tongue ?? made sure to have his chin raised just right, his shoulders back and chest firmly held. With effortless dignity, poised, polished, polite. The exact way that had been drilled into him over and over, since before he had even known how to walk.
“That’s better. See, we all know you know how.”
Of course he knew. How could he not?
Regardless, the questions held silently, childishly, under his tense tongue were:
Did knowing how to do it mean that he had to do it?
And:
What if he, simply, didn’t want to do it?
And:
Did it matter what he did or did not want?
These were all questions ?? had been taught not to ask. Had been whacked by Mrs Malcolm’s walking stick for asking; had been scolded and scorned and shamed for asking.
Such aimless curiosity was unbecoming for a young gentleman like him. Curiosity, for things that the society—and thus, his family—deemed inappropriate.
Or, unimportant.
Or, below his station.
Or, reckless.
For someone like ??, who sometimes genuinely believed that curiosity was the very thing that kept his blood warm, it was nearing torture to constantly be told to focus, to stop asking questions, to do as you are told.
Where on the everloving Earth was the spark in that?
The walking stick snapped down over his pin straight shoulders.
“Hopeless!” Mrs Malcolm declared. The crow’s feet around her eyes looked unhappy, as usual. ?? blinked up at his disappointed tutor, forcefully dragging his attention to the present moment.
The book in front of him still showed the very same page from before, his progress practically nonexistent.
It was no surprise, then, that Mrs Malcolm’s walking stick was so overtly excited and active today.
“Could we not learn about something… Something less… Ah, stiff?” ?? enquired, knowing full well that he shouldn’t.
Mrs Malcolm whacked at the table top, by the book, and too close to comfort when it came to where ??s fingers rested.
?? curled his hand into a careful fist.
“Yes, Mrs Malcolm,” he said, holding back a sigh. Young men of his station weren’t to be caught huffing and puffing, it was unsightly and unattractive.
?? pulled the book slightly closer, eyes dragging sorely over the text. Endless flowery cursive moaning about old failed techniques used in even older failed wars.
Silently, to himself, ?? thought that all wars were failed wars.
Thus, perhaps, failed was his war against…
This.
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My first contribution to Spring Fling, run by @monthly-challenge!
Day 2: Green
Fandom: Star Wars Rebels
Pairing: Kanan Jarrus x Hera Syndulla
Had it been any other person, any other encounter, any other voice, Kanan probably would have just brushed it off and moved on.
Bumping into some stranger in the hall of the VA? That was normal enough. Getting around with about 75 percent of his vision gone was something he was still getting used to, and the building was pretty full on an average day.
So when he bumped into someone while leaving a meeting he’d been at, Kanan caught himself quickly. “Sorry,” he said, stepping back to let whoever it was by.
“No worries,” they said— she said. It was a woman’s voice, and the very sound of it rooted Kanan to the ground, speechless.
He’d been alive for 25 years, fought in a war, lost people he loved, and made a variety of highly questionable decisions. And in that time, Kanan had seen and heard a lot, both ugly and beautiful.
This voice? It blew all of them away. Both gentle and firm, with a musical quality that sent warmth through his bones and made his heart skip a beat. It was absolutely exquisite, and Kanan knew, without a doubt, that he absolutely had to know the woman it came from.
She was already walking away, towards the elevator, by the time Kanan recovered enough to come to this conclusion. And by the time he’d started to move or speak or do anything, the elevator door was already sliding shut.
All he’d seen, with what was left of his vision, was a bright, vibrant flash of green.
From a shirt or a scarf, or something else entirely? Kanan didn’t know. All he knew was that the color was burned indelibly into his memory, and that he definitely needed to find out who that woman was.
He took the stairs, but when he made it to the lobby a floor below, the woman was long gone, leaving behind the memory of her voice. Kanan bit back a frustrated growl. Don’t worry, he told himself. If she was at the VA, it was for a reason. Which means I might bump into her again.
So he stayed calm, and headed out. Unfortunately, he was late for lunch with his friend Zeb thanks to his searching. The burly man was waiting in the usual booth at their favorite diner when Kanan made it.
“Oh, thanks for bothering to show up,” he said as Kanan slid into the seat across from him.
“Sorry,” Kanan said with a grimace. “I didn’t think I was going to be that late. But I— got distracted, and then the cab had to take a detour thanks to some accident. Did you order already?”
“I waited like ten minutes, but then I got bored,” Zeb said with a good-natured snort. He wasn’t the type to hold a grudge over one being late. “What exactly distracted you so much you forgot about lunch with your best mate?”
“I didn’t forget,” Kanan corrected. “I just got distracted, like I said.” The waitress approached, and Kanan ordered. He and Zeb had been coming to the diner since long before he’d lost his vision, and the menu was ingrained in his memory.
As were the staff, for that matter, and Kanan frowned as the waitress walked away. “We don’t know her, do we?”
“Nope,” Zeb said, slurping from his drink. “Some Russian kid Quinlan picked up. Now, are you being evasive, or am I going nuts?”
Kanan hesitated, then admitted, “You’re not going nuts. I was distracted by… someone I met. She and I bumped into each other in the hall—”
“Ohhh,” Zeb said, and Kanan didn’t need to see him to know a smirk was stretching across his face. “She?”
“It’s not like that!” Kanan protested, then paused. “Well… it is a little. But it’s not like I had enough time for anything to happen.”
He recapped the incident for Zeb, lingering just a little on what he remembered of the woman. Especially her voice— he probably lingered a little too long on that.
“Right,” Zeb said as the waitress reappeared, carrying both of their meals. “So you fell head over heels for this girl you met one time, and you’re gonna do what about it?”
Kanan shrugged. “Find her, I guess? Thanks,” he added as the waitress set his sandwich in front of him, along with his drink. “How hard could it be? I just need to talk to all the women in Lothal City until I find one that sounds—”
“Like an angel from your dreams?” Zeb said, snickering as he took a bite from his burger.
“I was going to say familiar,” Kanan said, scowling at him.
The man chuckled. “Sure, mate. Well, you’ve got the VA to start with. Maybe ask Piett. He and Veers know everyone around there, and if they don’t know her, they’ll know someone who does.”
“Good point,” Kanan said, his heart lightening a little. Veers was his former CO, and between him and his best friend Piett, they had a handle on pretty much everything that went on in both the VA and Lothal City. (Although it helped that Piett’s sister in law was a state senator.) After their meal, Kanan headed home planning to speak to them the next day.
He didn’t have to wait that long.
While he knew it made him something of a stereotype, Kanan liked to stop at the same diner every morning before work. He’d been going there for years, and the owner, Quinlan Vos, had been close with his mother. So he could usually count on cheap— or free, depending on if Vos’s wife was there— coffee, and a decent breakfast.
What he hadn’t counted on, however, when he stepped inside, was finding someone in his usual booth. In fact, Kanan had been expecting it so little that he’d sat down before he realized someone was sitting across from him.
“Oh— sorry,” he said, starting to slide out of his seat.
“No apologies necessary.”
Kanan froze. That was the voice— warm, slightly amused and curious, and stunningly gorgeous. And, as he gave her a proper look, there was the green. Her hair, by the looks of things. It was unexpected, and fit her well. Really well, he thought.
“Do we know each other?” she asked, her voice thoughtful. “You look familiar.”
For a moment, Kanan couldn’t speak. A long moment, as it turned out, because she asked, “You speak English?”
“Words fail me.”
There was no mistaking her smile, gentle and wry, as she said, “So they do.”
Recover, Jarrus. Pull yourself together. “Um.” Not a strong start. “We, uh, we actually met the other day,” he told her. “Bumped into each other at the VA— literally.”
“That’s right,” she said. “Which is why you sat down next to me?”
Kanan couldn’t help himself— he laughed. “Believe it or not, this is a complete coincidence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it happened. But this is my favorite spot, at my favorite diner.”
It’s almost like fate, the unhelpfully romantic side of his brain whispered.
He elected not to say that part out loud.
“Well, you may as well stay, then,” she told him serenely. “I’m Hera.”
“Kanan.”
“Nice to meet you, Kanan.”
A smile crossing his face, Kanan said, “Trust me, the pleasure is all mine.”
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