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insideliascrazyhead · 7 months

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Housen Headcanons

Odajima:

-when fishing with Todoroki he names each fish a totally weird name and speaks with the fish occasionally

-hates ro run with all his heart

-when he doesn´t get eight hours of beauty sleep he´s grumpy

-swings both ways.violently.with a pipe.come get some!also bisexual obviously

-in love with Todoroki since the fight against Oya

-listens to girly pop music

-loves tea

-loves knitting

-artsy,likes to doodle

-petty as fuck and holds a grudge for years,then it´s on sight

-constantly cold,loves to shove his freezing cold hands at his friends neck or something similarily unexpected

-sleeps in a shit ton of pillows and blankets

-literally always says whatever comes into his head.What will Odajima say next?Great question.He doesn´t know it either,we gonna find out together

Shidaken:

-collects offensive t-shirts he normally sleeps in here some examples: „Am I cancelled yet?“,“Fuck you you fucking fuck“,i sell crystal for the authoreties“,

„Orgasm donor“;Im not gay but 20 dollars are 20 dollars“or „im not a dick,just kidding,go fuck yourself“

-uses playboy parfum on a regular base

-momma´s boy she nicknamed him Kenny

-kickboxer

-not the brightest crayon in the box

-has a tattoo don´t tell his mom tho,not gonna lie probably a lame one

-anger issues

-total BL junkie his favorite´s KinnPorsche

-romantic/sexual interest only when the other person is totally crazy (*cough*Yasushi*cough*)

-bisexual

-hair routine longer then the whole High and Low franchise

-lovingly insults people,would totally call his friends lovingly a whore

-lives on his own which is canon but i guess but its a total bachlor pad broke edition

-adrenalin junkie

Sachio:

-can totally break dance

-hella protective,nearing the posessive area with that one

-coffee?black but also loves hot choclate lover so sweet you get diabetes.marshmallows and everything

-dramatic as fuck but won´t show it

-great at gambling

-emotional

-loves to draw mangas

-when his sister was younger he played dolls and dress up with her

-phenominal cook

-loves k-pop

-knows sign language

-when Yui and Sawamura first where alone in her room,Sachio took the door out of it´s hinges and put the door in his own room

-teached his sister how to throw a punch

-insomiac.Sleep?what´s that?can you eat that?

-volunteers in his free time

-total mom friend

Jinkawa:

-fluent in sarcasm

-never complains carriying Odajima cause he thinks it´s adorable

-protective over Sabakan

-insisted Sabakan learns to fight after their attack landed them in the hospital -laughs during horror movies and when he´s very uncomfortable in general

-darkest humor out of all of them

-fast food junkie

-cries during movies but that´s a secret he just sweats out of his eyes

-has fishes named after the aquarium of nemo

Sawamura:

-so romantic others are at risk of vomiting

-loves mangas

-likes flowers

-shy as fuck

-great at learning new languages

-protective

-always miserably fails at cooking to the point where sudden fires break out and he always has a fire extinguisher in the kitchen when he cooks

-loves to tease his friends

-skincare beauty routines with Yui

-lowkey scared of Sachio since dating his sister

Sabakan:

-Rock Lee enthusiast.Let´s not gonna lie here,it´s the hair.

-tea spilling sessions with Jamou on a regular base

-definition of noodle arms,would need help open a pickle jar

-also has no patience so he would just smash the pickle jar

-crime enthusiast

-loves to read

-gamer

-sassy as fuck can roast the shit out of anyone

-can read everyone like they´re a book written for very dumb children

#high and low #high and low the worst #housen academy #headcanons #high and low headcanons #odajima yuken #shida kenzo #shidaken #ueda sachio #sawamura #sabakan #jinkawa

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lonespektr · 7 months

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OCTOBER 8TH HORROR WATCH

My animal (2023)

Full moon

Sis already bleeding

Old ass tv. I know it's not the past

Old film beauty n the beast shot

Heather has bounced

Into the snow. Into the night

The love of a woman

I for one think all credits should be red

Go into the house

Oh it is the past 🤷🏿‍��️

Muscle woman

Them weights old as shit my dad used to have a set like that 🤣🤣

Man into wolf

The set design is legit lots of info in the room here

Oh mom isn't dead just maimed?? Now permeantly ill?

Trans or just trying to get on the hockey team? The eternal question

We had them fire pokers too

These set designers in my old house n shit

Shes out of high school, lives at home

Now amandla looks exceptionally modern in dress n hair style

Was that supposed to be canine like?

She does have s job

She's a professional skater?

Dude ditched in the snow WILD ain't no taxis there

Not hiding it

Hiding what?

Another nose bleed

Good big sis

Amandala invites her out

The mom is lamenting she isn't a girly girl so she is stuck in a house of boys

Midnight timeline for full moon?? Seems arbitrary i don't think moons have a 12 hour timeline

Out in the car no control over when to come back

Doing drugs

Super safe

11:30 casio alarm

Weird non casino visit just like hanging out while one person gambles

No smoke anywhere so not realistic

Lots of face bleeding

Horror movie woman screeching over growling over howling

Off into the woods

Now she is wolf

Lots of red being utilized

Lol they both came early to train and both got kicked out by the boys

Only thing in town is an ice rink

Always intrigued by the forward but closeted individual

They own a diner?

They use they chained up method

Lol weird sex dreams

Mandala nekkid but not her?

The twins have perfect hair

Amandala clocked the scratches every where

The locks are on the outside huh

Seems like mom didn't know about him before they got married

Then got bitter-er after the incident

But also she seems sick sick not just booze sick

One of the boys have an attitude problem but also it appears they are starving themselves possibly

A bit

There's a bunch of eggs all the time. It's standard American breakfast but it's also it's a large amount of eggs instead of traditional American tv breakfast which has too much of everything

Like 87% egg meal

Ok correct says she can try out

She drives mandala to her ice skating

🤣 dam yo mama suck here 's a free nacho sorry about your shiity life

Dad is sick too he's old

She crying

Oh mandala isn't a muscle lady which is her type lol

Try outs

Mandala boyfriend is uh like 30

She lets the girl distract her from her tryout

Can i say i fucking hate this trope?

I prefer when it's family drama, cumalative of course but it's just better to have an unforeseeable family situation arise than this shit

I just hate it , as a compartmentalizer it seems so unrealistic to have something screw up everything you been working for just because you didn't focus for an hour and process it later

Like GROW UP

Yes very depressing nothing to do town

Not these child twins with a fake ID

They're not only literally in middle school, they look younger than they are

I guess it's not full moon so they're at hers

Artsy 80's synth sex scene with not exactly bisexual lighting because of the use of reds and black

More growling

Pep talk

Moon anger

I tried to be alone

Rick's friend is rich

Ironically her mom is the only one in the family who is not a dog

Getting the cold shoulder gay panic

To go back to the boys who idea of fun is to speculate on milfs in front of their girlfriend

Classy

Breakup! 💔

Screaming crying and suddenly mom is of use! Mom can talk you through a breakup

That's a fancy vest my dude

Leather like panels?? On the puffer vest

Where can i cop old man?

Down he goes

Whole house is crying

Separately

Burn, no hospital

Ah he reverted to wolff form in death

Big ass wolf for little man

Usually you don't see a whole family

I guess you still don't because the kids are in the prehiphery

I get most of the stories are always about navigating and if you have a whole family then it's not a struggle you have infurstructure

But you literally don't have to always make it a coming of age alagory

Family fight

Boy who knows blames her lesbianism as the cause of fathers death

She runs off

Blood moon

Changing at midnight is convenient tbh

Lol now she bought to start a fight

Lol thought they were going to have her eat all of them like lol how could she come back from that

What does that mean in this context?

Petty argument here

Party city makeup but it's 80's aesthetic

Mom sobers up enough to handle her emotional break downs and wash away the tears

Nice nuance frankly

To have an all wrecked parent or a only fun/ good when manic or high parent

Instead of a relapse/ recovery parent who is inconsistent

Which is the more common. More interesting. More nuanced situation, more interesting and more realistic

Oh no first heart break looks the guy and books, lol

#graywatchhorror23 #my animal

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stina-is-a-punk-rocker · 3 years

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‘always and forever, lara jean’: a bungled mess of my thoughts while watching the movie

Alright, cards on the table: I never finished reading the book. I got bored a couple of pages in, so I just read up the summary on Wikipedia and called it a day.

Not gonna lie, I expected better from the movies. I loved the first movie; it was cute, it was fun, it hit all the right places. The second movie was… eh. Jordan Fisher is cute, so that’s a plus.

And then we got the third movie; the final in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy.

And it was somehow even worse.

Maybe I’m exaggerating. Despite its shortcomings in the plot and character development-related departments (the fact that Lara Jean wrote addresses for letters she never meant to send is something that will bother me on my deathbed), the movies have their merits. They’re cutesy and charming and enjoyable, overall; movie-LJ is sweet and unashamedly a girly-girl, which is a refreshing change from the #NotLikeOtherGirls, pick-me girls and bruh girls we had in loads of other YA movies growing up. Peter’s pretty cute, too; he’s not a possessive freak like so many other love interests (The Kissing Booth, After, Anna and the French Kiss), and his and Lara Jean’s dynamic is cute, too. Not to mention- we finally have an Asian lead whose Asian-ness isn’t the whole focus of the story!

Again, maybe I’m being extra with all this. The series is, at its core, solely for entertainment purposes. Not every piece of media has to have an underlying message and you shouldn’t need to read between every goddamn line to find something worthy of enjoying. They’re certainly helpful for whiling away a couple of hours; perfect for bingeing with a pint of ice cream in hand, and all of this is in good fun.

Also, it goes without saying, but: spoilers ahead.

The film beings with Lara Jean scribbling a postcard to Peter while she’s in Korea with her family. The inclusion of that little snapshot of Asian culture made me so happy- seriously, fuck everyone who says diversity in media doesn’t matter. I’m not even Korean, and I was overjoyed at seeing a couple of scenes just from the same continent I’m on. The K-pop music in the background was a fun touch, too (although all Korean music isn’t K-pop, but that’s a rant for another day).

(Also: Blackpink has so many more suitable songs than Pretty Savage that go with the theme of the movies. Kill This Love in the second movie while Lara Jean is getting ready to go to her boyfriend’s match is bad enough- they’re supposed to be in love in that scene, goddammit.)

One thing that bothered me throughout the movies is how obviously non-Korean Lara Jean and Margot look. It’s like whoever chose the cast went for any random Asian- Lana’s Vietnamese and Janel Parrish is half-Chinese, and it’s so obvious. You seriously couldn’t find two Korean-Americans who even vaguely resembled each other so they could pass for sisters? The actresses do a stunning job and I don’t want to shit on them, but I just wish they didn’t go with the ‘all Asians look the same, what’s the difference?’ mindset.

Also, a nitpicky thing I’ve noticed in movies with characters who read a lot: no one holds their books up while they’re reading. Your arms start to cramp, which is why you keep your book in your lap while you’re reading, or you rest on your belly and hold the book in front of you. My spine and shoulders didn’t suffer years of torture as a chronic reader for you to include characters who hold their books up while reading.

A major gripe I have with Always and Forever, Lara Jean is how the characters are almost jarringly out of character- not from the books, but from the two previous movies, too. Lara Jean didn’t have much of a character to begin with, so I can’t say much about her (she dissed Oasis at one point; it’s okay for me to be mean to her), but the rest of them are either caricatures of themselves or just totally different people.

Movie Peter >>> Book Peter. He’s almost too perfect (except for the fact that he unironically loves The Fast and the Furious, which… ew), almost too much of the ideal boyfriend. Not that my perpetually single arse would know. How do boyfriends even work? I wouldn’t know the first thing to do with one; how often should you feed it? Do you need to take it on walks?

(In the notes I’ve written towards the end of the film, I’ve complained about Peter being immature and making Lara Jean feel bad about following her dream to go to NYU. He confuses me.)

Not to mention how distractingly adorable Noah Centineo is from some angles and under certain lighting conditions (other times, he reminds me of the human version of Shrek and that bothered me). King of weird Tweets and Instagram captions though he may be, he’s got a really nice smile, and his gravelly voice is both parts sexy and disturbing.

But I digress.

I’ll never forgive the directors for what they did to Kitty and Chris- two of my favorite characters, from both the books and the movies. Kitty’s annoying to the point of being borderline unlikeable- gone is the occasionally snarky comic relief we all came to love; in her place is an annoying brat whose every line comes out forced. Also, making soap is fun; fuck you, Kitty.

Chris is essentially Dixie D’Amelio’s character from that TikToker Grey’s Anatomy ripoff; the main character in One Direction fanfiction from 2012 who doesn’t want to go to the concert but her best friend gets a ticket for her so she can’t bail but Harry Styles sees her in the crowd and falls in love at first sight and 50k of mutual pining and misunderstandings late, they get together. She’s cynical and snarky and hates capitalism and consumerism and prom (because of course she does), but secretly, she’s into it (because of course she is). My guess is that she’s there to appease all the arseholes (including myself) who accused the characters of being too one-dimensional, but it seems too out of place in a movie that doesn’t have much plot to begin with.

I really, really hate how Lucas was done dirty- throughout every single movie. Of course, it’s Lara Jean’s story so not every side character has to be fully fleshed out- but you’d think three. entire. movies. would be enough to give Lucas a bigger role than the GBF and the token black guy for the diversity brownie points. Every single time Lucas shows up, it’s to push Lara Jean and Peter’s story forward. I would’ve liked to see a romance for him pushed forward instead one for Chris- especially because he says, at one point in a previous movie, that it’s hard to find other gay boys, so it would’ve been sweet to see him find love- and Chris’s character arc could’ve been focused on reconciling with Genevieve. Instead, we see the OG Reggie from Riverdale be the one to show Chris the bright side of monogamy, and Lucas gets a date to prom as an afterthought (another darkskin black dude, so no one thinks the film is racist).

Genevieve’s character in this movie gives me whiplash. Look, I’m all for girls supporting girls- healthy female relationships are something way too many YA movies lack- but she goes from bitch queen extraordinaire to friendly the moment the next scene calls for it. Her character isn’t consistent. A redemption arc should be executed cleanly and believably; you can’t have a character be a total prick one moment and then suddenly be, “Hey, if you get into NYU, let me know,” the next.

And Genevieve’s still an arsehole to Chris; at one point, in NYC, while they’re at the NYU campus grounds (I knew that Lara Jean was going to go to NYU the moment she saw all the banners; I fucking called it), Genevieve tells Chris, “University is for people who actually have a future,” and I recoiled. I’m not the nicest of people and yet that was going too far. Chris doesn’t hesitate to shoot back a, “You peaked in high school,”, but still. Y i k e s. You can’t convince me someone’s turned over a new leaf when they say something like that.

Lara Jean’s dad (forgot his name; gonna call him Dr. Covey) is as unremarkable as ever, and his new wife (forgot her name, too… Trisha? Trina? Eh, something like that) is… unsettling. I mean, I get that they’re all loved up and twitterpatted, but there’s something about all the smiling they’ve got going on that chills me to the bone.

Also, Trisha/Trina kinda looks like TikTok’s ThatVeganTeacher and it bothers me.

Another huge problem with this movie even being made is that the series never had enough plot to continue onto a trilogy. Lara Jean’s letters are what the plots of the first and second movies revolve around; the third only mentions them in passing. The final love letter from Peter was a cute callback, but there’s a massive continuity issue with the first two movies and this last one- both character and plot-wise.

Maybe I’m not articulating this clearly enough, so I’ll use an example: take Harry Potter, for example. Harry’s main goal throughout the series is defeating Voldemort. And it takes all seven books for him to get there, to finally achieve this.

Lara Jean’s goal in the first movie changes midway; from keeping up the façade with Peter so she can avoid the crap with the rest of the letters getting out, to making her fake relationship real. It forms a bridge with the second movie; the letter that went out to John Ambrose, and her dithering between Peter and perfection (I’m not sorry). But what does the third movie have to do with any of this?

There were way too many music montages. You couldn’t go five minutes without a random pop song playing in the background, and it was annoying as hell. Don’t Look Back in Anger was w a s t e d on this stupid film. The artsy scenery shots were even worse- no, I don’t give a fuck about the New York skyline or a bird’s eye view of whatever vehicle Lara Jean is in. A few shots of Seoul would’ve sufficed; the rest was overkill. This movie is way too damn long already (almost 2 entire hours!!!); cut out a couple of those. No one cares.

I thought they’d pull the whole Aladdin trope with character-A-keeps-trying-to-tell-character-B-the-truth-about-a-lie-B-believes-in-about-A-but-B-keeps-interrupting, but Lara Jean (typing her name out is annoying, why couldn’t she have a single name, like both of her sisters?) comes clean earlier than I expected. Peter’s reaction about LJ not getting into Stanford is… uncharacteristically mature? No “Why did you lie to me?”, no accusations, not an ounce of betrayal. Which I did not expect from a guy who’s a little bitch for the greater part of book one (I really don’t like Book Peter, in case you couldn’t tell). I know fuck-all about book three’s Peter, so I can’t tell if he really did adopt this mature, well-adjusted persona, or the movie did it to make Peter seem like less of a dick (like they did it with the sextape-that-wasn’t-a-sextape in the first installment).

On a sidenote, how do these main characters in YA books get into really good colleges with zero to no visible effort? These arseholes fuck around for the entirety of the story and have way too much going on to actually do schoolwork, but they waltz into Ivy Leagues at the end. And apparently, I’m not the only one bothered by this.

There’s something to be said about how the movies don’t really sexualize minors (characters who are minors, to be fair. None of the MCs look anything like teenagers), though. It’s almost weird to see them not getting drunk and partying and having sex all the time. Maybe that’s why Lara Jean trying to get her hand on Peter’s dick felt so stilted and awkward (I cringed so hard when she kept trying to touch him and he kept pushing her hand away, holy shit).

And the kissing. It’s to be expected from a romance film, but there was so. Much. Kissing.

The amount of product placements (… actually, I could count only two: Apple and a pair of Beats headphones Lara Jean puts on at one point, but the movie shoved so many iPhones in my face that I’m obligated to exaggerate) would’ve made anti-capitalist Chris mad.

I’m guessing this all takes place in a parallel universe, sans the coronavirus. Still, being in quarantine this past year and being socially awkward for every other one, it was agonizing seeing everyone so close together in NYC. When Peter kissed the ball (lol) (I have the sense of humor of a straight boy in middle school, don’t judge me) when him and Lara Jean go bowling, I had a visceral reaction. And what are the odds of Peter meeting his estranged dad at the very same bowling alley?

Speaking of Peter’s daddy issues (I’ve written “Hardin but diluted” in my notes; I watched this movie at, like, 1 AM; I’m not entirely sure what was going through my head at that point)- I hated how they guilt-tripped Peter into giving his father another chance. In the wise words of Hannah Montana, everybody makes mistakes- but leaving your wife and two kids for another woman is pretty far from a little oopsie on Mr. Kavinsky’s part. I don’t blame Peter for hating him, and I’m not in a place to judge whether Mr. Kavinsky (does he get a first name?) should be forgiven or not, but I feel like they let him off too easy and made Peter seem like a misunderstood teenager with anger issues for not accepting Mr. Kavinsky’s (crappy) apology at once.

And it adds nothing to the story at all; Mr. Kavinsky peaces out after having one (01) coffee with his firstborn, and he’s never seen again. If you’re going to introduce a subplot, make it tie into the main storyline- the very least you could do is make it an important enough part of the story to have more than 10 minutes of the run time. It makes no sense as to why they’d bring up Peter’s dad in this last film, when he’s already gone through two perfectly fine. I guess it was a ‘tying everything up’ part… even though no one cared.

Lara Jean’s handwriting is surprisingly ugly for someone who’s written that many love letters. And her styling took a definite nosedive; her outfits in the first movie were so effing cute, but now they’re just… meh.

There are so many conversations and lines that the writers must’ve thought sounded good enough for someone to type out the quote in curly font and slap it on a screenshot from the movie to post on Instagram, but when it comes to the actual delivery, they just sounded… weird.

Peter says one time near the beginning of the film, “You know what I’m looking forward to the most in college? Never having to say goodnight,” because he expects him and Lara Jean to get into the same college.

But I guess the word they should’ve used was ‘good-bye’, because this just makes him sound stupid.

At one point, Lara Jean asks Kitty how much Kitty’s gonna miss her when she goes off to college, and Kitty says, “A four.” Later on, she confesses, “I’m gonna miss you a twelve, Lara Jean,” and all I could think was, “But we’re endgame, Archie!”

(In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t let people know I’ve watched Riverdale; it lessons my credibility.)

Still, there remains some good to be found: all the baked goods looked very delicious and made me crave chocolate chip cookies. Peter wearing the socks Lara Jean gifted him at the beginning of the movie was a cute gesture, and Lara Jean giving Peter her teal hatbox? The one she kept her love letters in? Was so? Cute? Help?

And hey, it’s a cliché that’s been done to death, but I’m always a sucker for that part in movies where the girl walks down the stairs in a pretty dress with her hand on the banister and the boy turns around and his mouth falls open and all he can say is, “Wow,”- and this film did not disappoint! Not to mention how cute both Lara Jean’s and Chris’s prom dresses were.

Dr. Covey and Trisha/Trina’s wedding was cute, too- I struggled to decide whether Kitty wearing a necklace that says ‘feminist’ and a tux is a bit too on-the-nose, but I’ve decided that it’s nothing to get my knickers all in a twist about (for clarification: it’s not the necklace or the crossdressing that made me debate this; I just wish they didn’t make a big deal out of it- I wish they didn’t have Kitty and Lara Jean get into an argument about her not wearing a dress, if that makes sense?).

And the final letter- the one from Peter to Lara Jean- I ate that shit up; it was so, so, so cute.

In conclusion (why is it so easy for me to crank out 3k about my thoughts on a Netflix movie and yet when it comes to English Lit. at school, I’d stare at a blank sheet of foolscap for ages?), did I enjoy the movie? Not really. There were parts of it that I liked, but it was overall too boring and I kept wishing I’d watched the new SKZ Code episode instead every few minutes.

But that doesn’t mean that it was bad. I kinda feel a little sad, actually, now that Lara Jean and Peter’s story has come to a close; To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, the first movie, is one of my favorites, and bitch though I might about them, the kinda grew on me… like an innocent plant, at first, but then like a fungus. Not a parasitic fungus, just not mutualistic, either… kind of like a commensal.

Maybe I should stop with the biology similes.

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beholdthemem · 5 years

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Ashley Face AU

Well, if you want something done...

Ashley Fisher

Like twelve times more aggressive

Will fight you

Will fight your mom

Will fight herself

While Sal’s approach to the other kids treating him like a monster growing up was to take the high road and prove them wrong by being a nice person, Ash’s was to kind of... lean into it.

Was known back at her old school in New Jersey for sending one of her bullies to the hospital.

Made it very clear that she would not stop at one, and suddenly got picked on a lot less.

Very short hair that she cuts herself. Fully aware that she is not the best at it, quality of haircuts vary.

Gets mistaken for a boy a lot. Doesn’t bother correcting anyone.

Still very artsy, mostly does painting and drawing. Experimenting with photography, decent at it, but not as good.

Paints on her prosthetic a lot, mostly spooky stuff. Oni mask and Dia de los Muertos skull are her normal go to. Uses washable paint.

Unexpectedly good with little kids, actually really likes them

Physically affectionate

Never wears or does anything traditionally girly but secretly kind of wants to sometimes. Shuts that impulse down very harshly as stupid and unrealistic whenever she catches herself. Kind of her own worst bully.

Secretly scared to let herself try and do anything any other girl might do to feel pretty.

Would die and/or kill for her friends

Bisexual

Constantly injuring herself doing stupid shit. Always has band aids

Swears a lot

Would kick her own ass just to make a loved one smile

Developed the world’s most wretched crush on Sal 2.5 seconds after meeting him and has absolutely no idea how to handle it. Has only worsened with time.

Todd Johnson

S A R C A S M

Not great with people

Was always kind of socially awkward, but used to be more outgoing before his dad disappeared

Now just kind of a loner.

Speaks Spanish

Will not teach you swear words

Passionate about metal

Does not look or dress like it

Gay

Very smart, but only puts forth enough effort in school to pass. Could be getting straight A’s if he applied himself, but has absolutely no interest in doing so. Does not give two fifths of a fuck about school and really only bothers with what he’s doing now so that the teachers will leave him alone and his mom won’t worry.

Secret delinquent

Usually about five seconds away from an ass kicking that could definitely be avoided if he just kept his mouth shut, but you know what, you have the brains of a dodo and look like the wrong end of a dog and you deserve to know

Can pick any lock

Lowkey stoner

Says he doesn’t care

Actually cares THE MOST

Will go on the stupid fucking adventure but will complain the entire time- even when it was his idea

Good at taking care of people, bad at saying he cares about them

Has difficulty asking for help

Talks like a human thesaurus

Swears a lot anyway. Unsettlingly creative about it.

Spent two weeks in juvie when he was eleven.

Larry Morrison

The main reason Todd hasn’t gone back to juvie at least once. What are you talking about officer? My friend can’t possibly have illegally entered this store during the hours of three and five am, the security camera clearly shows that there was nobody there at that time!

(For fuck’s SAKE Todd, we talked about this, do you know how much incriminating footage I’ve had to destroy over the course of this friendship? Could you at least give me a fucking heads up before you do this, just a ‘hey Lar, I’m doing some more B&E tonight, could you do me a solid and hack the security cams so you don’t have to hear about it over the police scanner that you set up SPECIFICALLY FOR ME and have to fucking SPRINT to delete any trace of my dumbass before the cops get there? Thanks, dude, you’re the best!’)

Looks scary, really isn’t.

Still has the long hair

Most people kind of assume he’s a stoner. Does nothing to discourage this assumption, but in reality doesn’t actually smoke that often. Will hook you up if you ask nicely though.

Secret nerd

Brilliant, but kind of lowkey about it. Does the work and does it well but doesn’t answer questions in class or suck up to teachers. Nobody ever realizes how smart he is until he gets some kind of problem that catches his attention and then goes about solving it like it’s the easiest thing in the world

Gets good grades

Frequently accused of cheating

Never is.

Acts like he thinks it’s funny, but is secretly kind of bitter about it

Talks like a normal person in direct contrast to Todd

Pansexual

Believes in ghosts, demons and most aspects of the supernatural. Don’t ask him about his theories unless you’ve got a free hour or two, he’s been researching this shit for YEARS and has been WAITING for somebody to finally ask

Will tutor you for free if you need the help

Would actually not have objected to getting a pet to ‘counterbalance all that technology’, but would have appreciated at least getting to pick what it was. Would not have chosen Bob The Fish

Still makes an effort to properly care for Bob anyway

Can cook, but only ever makes pancakes

Compulsively dismantles shit and puts it back together with homemade improvements. This ranges from helpful (Ash’s new and improved Super Gear Boy) to completely unnecessary (The toaster. “Dude, I swear I can make the toast pop up faster if you just give me ten minutes, some washers, and a ballpoint pen!”)

Questionable sleep schedule

Living proof that coffee does not in fact stunt your growth

Will kick your ass at Legend of Zelda

Somehow kind of The Mom Friend by default. (“Hey guys, wanna watch me ride this broken shopping cart down Deadengine Hill?” “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, ASH.”) (“I’m sorry, am I not supposed to tell him that his awful breath and generally unpleasant behavior is the reason his parents don’t love each other?” “No, you’re not.” “And yet I have every intention of doing so anyway.” “Todd, you’ll DIE.” )

Will go above and beyond for anyone he considers a friend.

Sal Campbell

F R E C K L E S

Still has the pigtails

Bad at math

Met Todd in summer school back when they were twelve. Been friends with him ever since

Not really a painter, but an excellent photographer (He has to get into art school for something.)

World’s most long suffering older brother

Considered the most laidback by far out of everyone in the group. This is... mostly true. Like, 98 percent of the time, Sal’s a chill guy. But then you hang out with him outside of school, and...

“Ben, c’mon, we need to go. Ben. Ben, we have stuff to do, Mom asked us to- Ben, are you listening to me? Ben. BEN. BEN! BEN, IF YOU DON’T GET OUT OF THE FUCKING PET STORE IN THE NEXT TWO SECONDS I WILL PERSONALLY FEED YOU TO THE FUCKING SNAKES!”

Kind of values his personal space when he can get it, since- as any older sibling will tell you- that dies the day your younger siblings are born.

Doesn’t mind too much from his friends though, since they’re usually pretty good about respecting his boundaries. Willing to suck it up if somebody’s having a bad day and needs a hug. Bring it in, dude

Kind of embarrassed to ask for a hug when he’s the one who needs one, though

The Nice One ™

Makes an effort to see the best in everyone, even when they’re being an asshole

Not above TELLING you that you’re being an asshole, though.

Repeatedly.

Seriously, fix your behavior, what the hell, man?

Willing to listen if you need to vent

Arguably the most emotionally mature in the group, but still got kicked out of French class at least once for doing his entire presentation in an overly exaggerated bad French accent and will sometimes forget to eat if not reminded.

Does not believe in ghosts or the supernatural, but respects that the others do. On the fence about aliens

Hates small confined spaces

Knows who he is, and is confident in himself. If somebody else has an issue with that, well, that’s their problem.

#sally face #ashley campbell #todd morrison #larry johnson #sal fisher

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intothespideyverses · 6 years

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a modest reinterpretation of “andi’s choice” in c-minor (inspired by a post by @ambimack)

in which bowie ghostwrites a song, andi tries to go ghost on walker, and [insert third awful ghost pun here]:

so bowie is actually ringing up customers for once at the music store that I figured rarely got business because helloo it’s always damn near empty but I guess today there was a surge of customers seeking out guitar picks and vinyls to show how Cultured and Unique they were for listening to the beatles or whomever. anyway jonah is on his guitar, doing as jonahs are wont to do, and bowie drops the bomb on him with “so yeah remember that music coach I told you about? she hates you. she quite frankly and literally wants you dead. she told me this herself. why didn’t you show up???” and jonah’s like “andi don’t fw me anymore :(” which isn’t rly an answer bc lbr here homeboy was ALREADY running late. you mean to tell me him staring at that painting took 4 whole minutes? nah.

so anyway bowie’s like “hm let’s change that” bc manipulating your daughter’s emotions behind her back is cool I guess. bowie, totally not projecting in any way whatsoever, suggests that jonah write andi a song. jonah’s not about it tho. “I can’t talk about my feelings!” he says, which is true considering he only just started exhibiting negative emotions for the first time ever last week. bowie goes, “sure u can! what rhymes with back?” and jonah almost says “crack!” bc thats clearly what bowie’s been on for the past 2 episodes but lemme not.

anyway jump to andi @ the spoon and her boo thang who’s not rly her boo thang yet bc terri hates us is facetiming her again. “so andi, my wife whom I would die for, what’s up?” and andi replies “my best friend is moving away :(” so walker, the understanding king he is, goes “aw pick your head up queen, your crown’s falling :’)” and tells her to go be with her friends and something about a bubble machine idk but w/e we still stan.

buffy comes in w/ all the junk the ghc left at her house including a knockoff tamagotchi which seems kinda before andi’s time?? like she was supposedly 7 when she got it which would have been around 2010? but once again w/e we still stan. and buffy reads the recommendation letter cyrus’ mom wrote for him which seemed a tad incomplete. “I can’t believe my mom forgot to add three references, what a waste...” he sighs.

but walker comes in and andi’s like “tf didn’t u just tell me to drink bubble soap and be w/ my friends? what r u doing here?” and walker, the modern day da vinci, says “im here to draw ur friends as a going away present for your fellow queen, buffy” and buffy looks shooketh like hey if andi don’t want him go get him sis!

so walker draws a louvre level artist rendering of the ghc and instead of appreciating the fact that walker could probably make an exact recreation of the mona lisa, andi’s like “*rolls eyes emoji* *sucks teeth emoji* now i got TWO of these little boys after me what the fuck -_-” but that doesn’t matter bc buffy and cyrus are LIVING for it.

“im gay so clearly im the better sassy best friend, step tf back bitch”

“the sassy best friend stereotype was made for my black ass cyrus so if you think for even a second I won’t claim my rightful spot you are sadly mistaken”

“let me have this one thing buffy I can’t even say the word gay out loud on this damn show can I at least have this?? can I?”

buffy takes a sip of her virgin margarita and goes...

anyway back at the music shop, jonah has just finished practicing the song bowie ghostwrote for him. jonah’s like “great this is perfect for me to sing outside andi’s window” and bowie quite litcherally flips a table and goes “you rly thought u were gonna pull that corny shit??? what year is it?? 1985 called they want their courtship technique back lol what a loser” and jonah’s like hm perhaps he really is on crack but doesn’t say it out loud bc that would hurt bowie’s feelings :/. bowie says that he already booked jonah to perform at the open mic being held THAT NIGHT lmao and jonah just about has another panic attack bc what??

“what??” he asks bowie who is too busy thinking about him performing “you girl” to bex when they were younger to even remember who jonah even is. jonah’s quite honestly shitting himself and wondering what tf he’s going to do. “being around you” is cute and all but it doesn’t go nearly as hard as andi deserves, especially if he now has to compete with artsy fartsy walker who could probably redo the sistine chapel all by himself if he rly wanted to. “hm..........how can one convey how truly deep in their feelings they are for the one they love?” jonah asks the universe, bc hey it seems to always work for bowie.

the universe responds by sending a speeding car full of college kids blasting aubrey graham’s newest hit single right into the storefront window.

“that’s it!”

jonah’s handing out flyers at the spoon and cyrus literally melts into a puddle and I’m pretty sure this is the first nod to his crush on jonah since he came out to andi wow. andi’s like “since when do u do anything aside from throwing a plastic disc?” and jonah’s like “last week 🤗"

they go to the open mic and some girlie is throwing it DOWN w/ her accordion but bowie being the uncultured swine he is, pulls her off the stage. “anywayyyy here’s our final performance and the only reason we held this show tonight, give a big round of applause to jonah beck!”

jonah walks out with his guitar and an amazon copyrighted product shaped like a portable speaker. bowie’s like 🤨 bc this was supposed to be an acoustic performance tf does he need a backing track for? jonah sits down on his lil stool and clears his throat. “alexa play ‘in my feelings, jonah beck cover’”. the device plays a track consisting of jonah’s angelic backing vocals, and our boy begins to strum his guitar. he opens his mouth to croon...

“trap...trap bowie bowie”

bowie’s chiseled jaw drops to dirty ass music shop floor. “this is...not what I planned.”

“this stuff’s got me in my feelings...gotta be real w/ it...”

the entire audience has a collective heart attack.

“an-di, do u luv me? r u riding? say you’ll never ever leave from beside me, cause I want ya and I need ya, and I’m down for u always...”

buffy and cyrus catch whiplash from turning so fast to face andi. “the song’s about YOU bitch!”

andi shakes her lil head. “puh-lease, no it’s not”

cyrus, doing his best not to cry, says “he literally just said ur name but go off”

andi’s in denial bc eww j*n*h b*ck? singing a song? for her? disgusting. but jonah keeps singing his little heart out and the lyrics are more and more damning as they go on.

“trap, trap bowie bowie...I buy you rice on a string cause you not that showy”

“art 101 cause u just like zoey”

“fuck he is singing about me...”

“fudge that netflix and chill what’s ur net-net-net worth?” jonah sings, hitting an impossible high note. queen of vocals.

“you’re the only one I luv~~~” he serenades, serving us mariah carey level whisper notes. ariana is cancelled! our boy finishes the song, basking in the thought of how many careers he singlehandedly ended by performing at this small hole-in-the-wall music shop in bumfuck, utah. drake your days are numbered sis.

everyone immediately deserts the shop en masse like did y’all see how fast they all left last episode?? damn. buffy and cyrus stay behind while andi is frozen sitting in her chair bc what the hell does one say to that.

bowie goes up to jonah and is like “so um...that was...different.” and jonah responds “ikr! see, ‘being around you’ felt too old school, too...2002. idk why that year specifically, but idk it just sounds like it was written in 2002 for a completely different person, maybe even bex, but what do I know? im just your friendly neighborhood jonah beck.” bowie is shook. “anyway, do u think andi liked it?” bowie looks up to see his dorder who he’s more or less forgot about in favor of m*randa and demon child for the past couple of days walking in slow motion to the stage. how she was doing that was beyond him. “well, she looks like she’s about to cry so that’s either a very good thing or a very bad thing. ur on ur own now bud.” and he skidaddles to where bex is waiting. oh yeah bex was in this episode too I forgot.

andi approaches jonah and he’s like “...so...song....you like?” and andi’s internally screaming bc everyone for the past several weeks has been pushing this relationship on her including jonah himself and now he just sung this song in front of all these ppl and now she pretty much HAS to kiss him so anyway ya she does.

when she pulls away jonah blinks. “oh...dosche”

THE END.

will andi finally break up with jonah for good? will jonah avoid copyright infringement for covering a drake song on disney channel? will bowie seek help for his crack addiction? find out next time on dragonball z!

#this is...several levels of terrible #andi mack

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thotyssey · 6 years

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On Point With: Martyr

Whether she’s turning it in the Upper West Side with a drawn-on beard or making the Brooklyn children weep with a melancholy dirge, drag vampire Martyr is rapidly becoming a nightlife presence we'll all be kneeling to soon enough!

Thotyssey: Martyr, hello! So today isn't nearly as gross and sweaty as recent days, which reminds us that summer is coming to an end. Is that good news, bad news or whatevs?

Martyr: Hey hey! Oh, it’s such good news. I’m not much a summer goth... Fall is where I really shine.

Fabulous! And of course, before you know it it'll be Halloween. I know a lot of queens are all "meh, everyday is Halloween," but I bet you are all about October.

Oh, for sure! I try to do a different costume or theme each week in October. I love an excuse to dress ridiculous!

Where did you grow up, and how did this drag journey begin?

I’m a Florida boy (which doesn’t really mesh with the aesthetic, but what can you do). I started performing in 2014 for FSU’s amateur drag show. I looked like a brick, but somehow wowed the judges enough to end up in third place. I’ve always been a closeted lip-syncer at home, but that was the starting point of Martyr. I honestly didn’t really consider myself a queen ‘til moving to Brooklyn, where I had such a quick development.

How would you describe your aesthetic and performing style today?

Carlos the Uber Driver called me the “Spooky Ooky Brooklyn Ghost,” and I think that pretty much sums it up. I always lean more towards the sad / emotional / dramatic performances, ‘cause it’s very easy for me to tap into. I feel like a lot of drag is about celebrating our queerness--and that’s so important--but I also think we need time to mourn / get our feelings out. I think I really shine when it comes to performing and movement. I love channeling different emotions, through my fingers... a style I picked from Untitled Queen.

You're tailor-made for Patti Spliff's monthly Rosemont show “Sad Songs!” Have you done that one yet?

Not yet! But I’ve met Patti before, and she’s honestly such a sweetheart. And “Sad Songs” is always amazing. Here’s hoping in the future!

I saw clips from performances of yours at both MR(S) BK & the Ultimate Drag Pageant, and at both you performed Sufjan Stevens songs from the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack. Unusual choice, but effective! So you don't consider the gender of the singer when you're choosing a lip sync?

Haha! I just love my boy Sufjan. He uses a lot of gay imagery. Also, I feel like I already read so androgynous, that gender has never been an issue. Half the time, I’m not even in a wig.

youtube

You're actually one of the few queens I've seen who regularly applies fake facial hair, with makeup or two-dimensional pieces. Is that to make you look more Antichrist-like?

Yeah, kinda! When I first started, I didn’t even know bearded queens existed. I was super uncomfortable with my masculinity, and I saw beards as, like, a point of envy. So to do this weird hybrid of masculine and feminine drag was to help get comfortable in my own skin. The Christ-like thing was a whole other story, but certainly a part of the beard.

How did you enjoy the whole MR(S) experience? That was a pretty epic pageant.

Absolutely loved it. It was my first exposure to the Brooklyn scene, and I made a lot of friends because of it--like my good sis Emi Grate, Laé D. Boi, Linda Felcher and a dozen other girls. I’m already prepping for next year’s showcase.

There was a lot of drama amongst the finalists.

I was far removed... just eating popcorn in the back!

I hear that! And now here you are with a very different group of queens, competing weekly for this season's Ultimate Drag Pageant at the West End! What made you want to enter this competition... and do you feel a very different energy from those queens as opposed to your Brooklyn fam?

I saw last season’s UDP when I went to support Carlos and Tiffany Anne Coke, and saw it as a different venue to try new things out. I love getting feedback about performances and looks, so a competition setting works best for that. And it was also a completely different crowd and mindset, but I think I’ve generally been accepted, haha! I went in thinking “these Manhattan girlies were gonna hate on the Brooklyn weirdo,” but everyone has been so friendly and kind. I’m looking forward to the finale stunts!

By the way, how did you know Carlos and Tiffany?

We started doing drag in Manhattan together at Barracuda’s Star Search. And we’ve been each other’s internet bullies ever since.

You'll be returning to Brooklyn pageantry this Thursday for Round 3 of the Mx. Nobody prelims at Brooklyn Bazaar. That's on the same night as UPD! How are you gonna swing that?

I’m using my one skip for UDP for it! I was booked for Mx. Nobody before UDP came up, but knew I wanted to be part of both. I’m bummed to be missing Hollywood Week, ‘cause I wanted to try something more glam. But I’m super-excited and nervous for Mx. Nobody, as I’m doing a performance about how I got my drag name! It’s gonna be one interesting night.

And then on Sunday, you'll be at Bizarre Bushwick for Thee Suburbia's monthly lunar-themed show “Full Moon!” What shall you be bringing there?

I haven’t quite decided yet! I’m thinking of bringing my “Ignorance” performance I did a few weeks ago at UDP. Who knows? But bet on something spooky.

What else is going on in the world of Martyr?

I’ve been trying to do some more performance art pieces out and about in the city that question queer bodies in non-queer spaces, like a going to specific museums / exhibits in drag and such. I’m also working on my Masters at NYU for Museum Studies. All that academic nonsense.

Good for you! Side question: The new American Horror Story season... will it be everything, or godawful?

I always get hyped for the new season (I blame the promos), but then I’m left disappointed by the end of it. This being a crossover season has me intrigued, but with my two least favorite seasons? I’m not too hopeful.

Agreed! Okay, in closing: when you die in 200 years and come back as a ghost, and you have to haunt one place forever, where will you haunt?

OMG gag! I already feel like I’m haunting everywhere. Hmmm... but probably the Whitney Museum. Great art, great view, and tons of cute artsy boys. Gay heaven right there.

Boo yeah! Thank you, Martyr!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for her upcoming appearances, and follow Martyr on Facebook and Instagram.

On Point Archives

#onpointwith #martyr

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Are You Gonna Stay the Night? (Sashea) || By Meg

What’s up you guys?! I know I haven’t written anything in a while. During season Nine, much like everyone else in the fandom, I became completely addicted to everything about Sasha and Shea. I respect both of them as artists and I respect their personal relationships, but I also love this one. So, please enjoy my little ode to these two beautiful creatures. Mwah!

It felt like Sasha couldn’t stop running.

She didn’t know why.

She wasn’t running from a monster that loomed over her like in nightmare. She wasn’t running from anything physical, she was running away from every thought she had ever had that was just continuing to swirl around in her head. She’d been trying to stop running and take a breath for nineteen freaking years. Every day of her life had been more fast-paced than the last.

She couldn’t stop running.

She didn’t know why.

And she couldn’t stop.

The only thing that had calmed her down was her cello. That beautiful, sleek instrument that she began to play only because of her doting mother. Her mother had always been a source of anxiety in her young life, Sasha always had to be the smartest, the prettiest and the most desired girl on the block. Wesley avenue was most certainly competitive, considering her best friend Alexis Michelle who lived next door graduated early to go off into New York City to attend Juilliard and act on Broadway. Sasha herself was Juilliard bound, it turns out, that massive instrument gave Sasha’s life meaning. Her talent was recognized when she was young, her teacher at the time noticed that she was picking up pieces like they were pieces of candy.

Sure, Sasha was good at Cello. People loved her and her beautiful wooden instrument, as well as the sounds that came out of it. But, Sasha wasn’t sure if she really loved herself.

Once she hit the scene of New York, she knew she had to finally stop and breathe.

There were too many people around for her to worry about crashing into anyway.

The little Starbucks that sat about a block away from Sasha’s dorm room, little did she know, would be the place that everything changed. After making her bed and beginning to personalize her room (with her Andy Warhol posters, for example,) and coming to the conclusion to live out of her suitcase for the first few days, she made her way to buy herself a coffee. It had been a long night. Although it wasn’t a long drive from Brooklyn, she had spent most of the night lying awake, anxious about what was yet to come.

“Grande black coffee for Sasha?”

Sasha snapped out of her sleepy trance before making her way to pick up the plastic cup that would hopefully wake her up. Nothing else seemed to. Not a run, not a Redbull and especially not her alarm clock.

“Damn girl, you look exhausted.”

Sasha didn’t register the other girl’s speech for a few moments before pushing her blonde hair aside and looking over her black-framed glasses. She was blunt in her speech, as she wasn’t really in the mood to deal with human interaction. “Thanks.”

“Sorry, I- I couldn’t help but notice. Are you Juilliard student too?” The brunette seemed rather anxious, and way too damn friendly for seven thirty in the freaking morning. Sasha couldn’t deny that the woman standing in front of her looked absolutely incredible, even in track pants and a sweatshirt with the name of a school on it

Sasha nodded, a weak smile tugging at her lips. “Yeah, actually, I’m a cello player. What about yourself?”

“Ah, a cellist.” Shea nodded, winking playfully. “Thats sexy.”

Sasha blushed a bright pink. “So you find an over exhausted, hurried nineteen year old girl sexy?”

“Oh darling,” Shea purred, resting a hand on her shoulder. “it’s not every day that an over exhausted, hurried nineteen year old girl can actually pull off being over-exhausted and hurried.”

Bestill, her beating heart. “You’re so kind.” She smiled weakly. “I’m Sasha.”

“I’m Shea.”

Shea would soon become Sasha’s new favorite name. That name would roll off of her tongue like a caramel. She would be unable to hear anything else in her head but the repetition of ‘Shea. Shea. Shea.’

Shea often spent time laying on Sasha’s bed, panicking about her vocal performance curriculum. Shea had the voice of an angel, Sasha had learned, but she was so insecure about it due to the competition she had.

After knowing her for four months, this new day wasn’t much different. Shea was flopped on Sasha’s bright blue comforter, practically smothering herself with Sasha’s pillow.

“I don’t know how much longer I can take this.” Shea groaned, trying to make an effort to hide her face that was seemingly flushed with embarrassment. “I’m not good enough for this place at all.”

Sasha shook her head frantically. “No, no, no! That’s not true at all. You’ve worked so hard to get here.. Please don’t stop now.”

“Easy for you to say.” The brunette pouted, peering over the left side of the pillow. “Your professors love you.”

That wasn’t just anxious Shea talking. That was very true. Sasha’s professors had been going completely and utterly gaga for the small blonde. They called her “a talent,” and “a genius.” Shea had always been jealous of her friend, she wanted her professors to feel the same way about her. Instead, they acted like she wasn’t there. In fact, nobody was there for her. Nobody was there for her besides Sasha.

“I-I-” Sasha finally began to speak after the brief pause. “I think you’re incredibly talented, Shea. You really do not give yourself a lot of credit at all, and it hurts to see such a beautiful soul fall down such an incredible pit of insecurity..”

Shea sighed, shutting her eyes for a second to take a deep breath. She loved Sasha. She loved her more than words could possibly say. Sasha had quickly become her best friend, and she had even begun to question if they could be something more.

Something more.

She was terrified, she had to run from this.

All her life, she hadn’t stopped running.

But one look in Sasha’s eyes that were magnified by her glasses, and she could feel her feet stop pounding on the pavement.

Sasha’s eyes made everything okay.

“I’m sorry for snapping, Sash. It’s just.. I don’t know. I feel like I never know anything anymore.” Shea didn’t know how to put her feelings into words normally, but she certainly did know one thing. Shea loved Sasha. She loved the way her frizzy blonde hair grazed her cheeks, the way her smile made her feel like she could do absolutely anything. She found herself tumbling deeper into her infatuation every time she listened to Sasha’s horsehair bow graze the strings of her cello. Those sparks that she had felt the first day had evolved into the brightest and wild of flames.

Sasha could tell that Shea was deep in thought, so she slowly moved down to lay beside her friend with that smile Shea loved so much. “Aw babe.. Just breathe, okay? I know you’re under a lot of stress. I’m going out tonight with a friend, but I bet our RA would be fine if you stayed here.” “Thank you, angel. Thank you.” Shea nodded, kissing Sasha’s forehead. “I would have been a long time ago if it hadn’t been for you.”

Sasha shook her head, adjusting her glasses. “That’s a lie. You would have flourished here. But you decided to hang out with the artsy loner on a daily basis.”

Shea’s lips displayed a weak smile. She certainly wanted to do more with Sasha than just hang out with her. She wanted to love her. She wanted to to make her feel like she was the only woman in the entire world. She wanted to feel a love unlike anything else, with her. Sasha wasn’t just an ordinary blonde. She had more depth to her than any of the girls she knew back at her high school in Chicago.

Please, Sasha. She thought. Don’t give me the material to write yet another sad love song.

Hours later, when Alexis Michelle came to pick up her friend, Shea could feel her heart stop beating.

Shea Coulee was absolutely no match for Alexis Michelle. Where Shea was tall and lean with a Naomi Campbell body, Alexis Michelle had all of the curves to make Kim Kardashian jealous. Alexis Michelle was girly, clothed in a pair of navy pants, a frilly blouse and a jean jacket, while Shea’s wardrobe consisted of flannels and concert t-shirts.

The way that Sasha looked at this girl wasn’t helping Shea’s confidence either.

“Hey..” Sasha smiled, looking absolutely breathless.

“Hey.” Alexis replied, wrapping her arms around the other girl’s waist.

She’s touching my girl, Shea thought.

“I’ll be back later, Shea.” Sasha waved as the pair of them exited the room.

Sure, or she’ll keep you to herself, and you’ll wake up in her bedroom.

As she heard the door click shut, Shea burst into tears. She would never be good enough for Sasha. Not in a million years. She would never deserve the love that she knew Sasha had in her heart, she never had as her friend, and she most certainly wouldn’t as a lover.

Meanwhile, Sasha knew something was wrong, and the entire night, she couldn’t stop wondering if Shea was alright. This infuriated Alexis. As they existed the restaurant, she stopped walking, looking at Sasha with a raised eyebrow.

“Sash, why don’t we go back to my place?” She asked, pulling her close and nuzzling her nose against Sasha’s own. “Just like old times.”

Ah, that phrase again. Just like old times. Old times consisted of closeted Alexis calling Sasha up to fool around during their Sophomore and Junior years of high school. Of course, ever so often she would meet some boy that would fawn all over her gorgeous physique, and she would be gone.

Sasha had always been her safety, her gay best friend.

She used to like being used, she used to enjoy that Alexis always came back to her, but now, a freshman in college, she just felt abused. She just wanted to be loved.

“I-I-” She muttered, her eyes falling to her shoes. Alexis’ face fell. Sasha didn’t want her anymore. She didn’t have the blonde wrapped around her finger the way she used to. Her quick fix now belonged to someone else.

“You find a hookup buddy better than me, huh?” She asked. “Remember what you told me, nobody can rock that body like I do.”

It was true, Sasha had said that, although, she wanted to push that person who felt that way out of her mind. Alexis didn’t care about her mentally, she was just attracted to the fact that she was a girl, who, well, liked girls and would willingly submit to anything she said. So, she stayed silent. Her silence was only met by more disapproval from Alexis.

“It’s that Shea girl, isn’t it?”

Sasha sighed. She was so used to Alexis’ bitching by now, she just didn’t say anything. Nothing would change her mind, it was always Sasha who was in the wrong. Alexis never admitted the fact that Sasha meant absolutely nothing to her romantically. She didn’t want to think that she had been toying with her closest friend’s heart for this long.

“It is. It totally is. I bet you two were sucking face before I got to your dorm room!”

“That’s it!” She growled, looking the taller of the pair dead in the eye. “I’m so done with this concept that you’re allowed to see other people, but when I have another friend who’s a girl, you suddenly feel threatened? I’m just a toy to you, Alexis. Just another goddamn toy you love to play with, just like every other human being with a pulse in New York City. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I won’t be going back to your place, I will be going back to my dorm where Shea is waiting for me.”

Alexis stood there, shocked. Not in her twenty years had anyone mistreated her like this. Okay, it wasn’t mistreatment. Nobody had taken the time to pick her apart. Not until Sasha. “Fine.” She huffed, tugging on the hem of her blouse. Someone saw through her facade. Someone was finally beginning to realize that she wasn’t perfect. “Go. Run off to your little bitch.”

That’s when Sasha stopped in her tracks. Who did this girl think she was? God? Turning around, she found her hand connecting with Alexis’ face in a rough slap. “I have never slapped anyone in my damn life, Alexis, and I never thought i’d ever start. But you, you deserve it. You are a god awful human being. Absolutely horrible. I no longer what to ‘go back to your place.’ That would have excited the me of three years ago, but i’m different now. I’ve outgrown your childish games of seduction.”

And with that, she turned away and walked away from Alexis, forever.

As the cab drove throughout the city that stayed so true to its name, “the city that never sleeps,” Sasha couldn’t help but think about what Alexis had said. She had always thought Shea was beautiful, both inside and out. She had always felt a little bit jealous when other women surrounded her. She was desired, it was very clear, with that chocolate skin and her deep eyes, she was every artistic lesbian’s dream. And unlike Alexis, she actually saw people as- well- people. You don’t play with people. All this time, Sasha had been so blinded by the idea that Alexis could have possibly grown up that she hadn’t seen what was right in front of her.

She was in love with Shea Coulee.

She practically tossed herself out of the cab as it pulled up to her dorm, sprinting past the front desk and up the stairs, praying that Shea would still be there, fast asleep by now. Shea always went to bed early. But, as she opened the door, she found Shea collecting her things she had brought with her.

“Shea? Wha-” she began to ask before she was cut off.

“I can’t do this.” Shea cried, Sasha could tell she had been crying. “I can’t stand to watch you run off with that other girl every night, when I’ve been standing right here since the first day we met with my arms wi-”

Then, Sasha knew what she had to do. Running to the other girl, she practically crashed into her to connect their lips, wrapping her arms around Shea’s waist to close any possible space between them.

Sasha hadn’t seen this many fireworks in her entire life.

As Shea pulled away for a moment, she was grinning like an idiot. “I- Uh…” She giggled weakly, wanting to ask what brought on that sudden burst of confidence, but Sasha beat her to it.

“I-I shouldn’t have done that.” She stammered. “I’m sorry, I bet you have a girlfriend, I bet you don’t even like me- I-”

“Are you deaf?” Shea laughed, pulling her closer to experience yet another one of those electrifying kisses. But this time, there were no other words. Just movement. It was like a waltz, their hearts beating in time with one another.

1, 2, 3…. 1,2, 3..

Shea began to toy with the hem along Sasha’s large white t-shirt.

1, 2, 3… 1, 2, 3….

Sasha turned up the heat by tugging on the collar of Sasha’s flannel, trying her hardest to assert her usual dominance. As she did so, Shea could feel her heart pound faster.

123, 123, 123….

“Shirt off. Now.” Sasha growled, her entire body practically shivering because of the adrenaline. There was nothing like a fiery Coulee woman to drive her wild. It wasn’t long before the fabric was gently fluttering to the floor and Once again, Sasha was breathless.

God, she was beautiful.

123123123123…

Shea didn’t want this to stop. As seconds flew by, she was aching for more. Seconds when her fingertips didn’t brush against Sasha’s skin felt like small pockets of eternity.

She had always wanted to give Sasha the undying love that she deserved. Perhaps this night was just what it was, a single night. But, she wanted it to be forever.

Sasha did too.

#sashea #sasha velour #shea coulee #alexis michelle #tw slight smut #love #meg #rpdr fanfiction #submission #lesbian au

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totoroses · 7 years

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i found this lesbian survey and decided to fill it out!

Femme or butch? is this what do i prefer or which i am? im a femme and i have no preference in dating, i’ve been wildly attracted to both and any in between

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it. the only nearly completely common denominator though my exes are having brown eyes? i have dated only one person who did not have brown eyes. i always feel safer looking into brown eyes then blue. i woudl say i have often gone after the romantic artsy type with good music taste and some kind of signature style about them, ironically none of which drew me to my current girlfriend who i believe is probably defintiely the love of my life

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets? leather jackets! i will swoon over smartly dressed gals in button downs as well as a chill gal in some plaid unbuttoned flannel but the two together make me think of a lumberjack

Describe your style. i usually go for one of two styles- softly dressed forest wanderer, or slightly sassy soft grunge. both include my doc martens, but one is more natural colours and old fashioned dresses and the other is sassy tshirts and 90sish thrift store finds like denim and dark florals

Describe your aesthetic.pressed flowers between the pages of a book on forest spirits, rose milk tea, silver rainy downpours, curly baby hairs, white peaches, a cat sleeping in a library, custard pastries, a circle of mushrooms in moss, opals and furry moths

Favorite article of clothing? my one forever 21 dress ive had since like junior year that i can wear without a bra and it has like a cool cross back i just looooveee ittt, then also my embroidered minty 1930s style qipao sort of dress

Favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens and green chinese embroidered lace up slippers

Current haircut? currently blonde (ugh) and currently my hair falls just past my breasts, the goal is to grow it to my bellybutton!

Any haircut goals for the future? i really wanna get on the thick fluffy bangs bandwagon but i dont think i have the stamina to put up with growing them out again smh

Describe the best date you’ve been on. there was this one date i went on with one of my high school girlfriends where we went to a bookstore and hung out and then stuck googly eyes all over my city on random monuments and street signs, and we also ate thai food and listened to music and it was still one of the most lovely dates. BUT my girlfriend recently visited me in taiwan and we went in a glass bottom gondola ride up a mountain and drank from coconuts and wandered through old streets and had the most amazing tea food with a spectacular view and it was heaven

Describe the worst date you’ve been on. probably the one where i went on a picnic with my first girlfriend who then broke up with me that same day and even though our entire relationship was so awkward and not what is should have been it still hurt so bad

Single? Taken? taken!

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife! where do i begin! my girlfriend is a slightly shorter than me girl named lynn who loved korean variety shows, drinking coca cola, listening to cheesy love songs, and playing tricks on people (especially me). she used to be a major tomboy in middle and high school and date all the girls and get slapped a lot, as well as mess with teachers and play pranks on them and steal things from their lunchboxes. more than half of her birthchart including sun, rising, and venus are scorpio, and she wants to start her own streetstyle online brand but has not yet found a catchy brand name!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife? :)

Describe your dream wedding my girlfriend says if we get married we need two, a traditional chinese wedding (she is from china) and a western one with a priest since i am catholic, and i couldnt agree more. my dream wedding includes just very close friends and family, extravagant lights and flowers and a reception party playlist chosen by me, catered by the teahouse we went to in taiwan. i know its so silly and superficial but i want the dreamiest dress that i design, wisteria everywhere, and most of all i just want lynn at the end of the alter looking stunning in whatever it is she decides to wear

Do you want kids? YES me and lynn talk about this a lot because we both love kids and both agree on at least 4, no more than 8. and we will share who carries the kids so not just one of us is having our uteruses worn out

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? guilin, china. but its a fantasy. guilin is real and beautiful but chinese laws make it so that even if we settle down there and build a house it cant truly belong to us, and in china you cant have a private business and it jsut sucks because the drema is to live in the quiet countryside with a simple life and beautiful scenery to explore together and with our children

Favorite lesbian movie? i love so many but im gonna go with the handmaiden!

Favorite lesbian novel/story? i havent read nearly enough, but adore all things by malinda lo and julie anne peters! ash by malinda lo is probably my favourite. i have to still read sarah waters though, i hear she reigns supreme

Favorite lesbian song? don’t pull away by milosh ft jviews (the music video is gay at least, i also love hayley kiyoko)

Favorite lesbian musician? hayley kiyoko probably

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any? mmmm i dont like softball so that doesnt work...i read a lot of sappho though! and i have short nails? and love buffy? are these stereotypes?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal? ugh yes

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that? write me a love letter or make me a mixtape about your feleings something cheesy

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian? girls!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person? cat but i also love pups!

Turn ons? a musical wonderful voice i could listen to and listen to, easy and stimulating conversations, passion for something that lights up their eyes

Turn offs? rudeness in any shape or form, indecisiveness or feigning indecisiveness because you think i want to make the decisions, despicable movie and music taste, smell

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you? mmmm in the past it has been pretty even. i have learned though that with women it really is a waiting game more than with guys so with my current girlfriend the tension was killing me so much i had to straight up ask her if something was going on and when she said yes she did like me too i was so relieved because she admitted to having not dated anyone since high school (5 years ago for her) and not asking anyone out while at college so if i had kept waiting for her who knows if we would have gotten together!

What is your dream career? i want to be a stay at home mom and author and perhaps an art teacher or preschool teacher on the side if the books dont pa the bills!

Talk about your interests or hobbies! writing and reading and drawing and singing and hiking and listening to music and watching korean dramas and making lists and studying languages

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have? passion, not necessarily in the sexual wya, but passion for something in general. like if she is an actress you see her on the stage and see how into it she is, and offstage she talks about it in a way that shows she is capable of truly loving something so much and seeing wonder in life. or a girl who seems quiet but then when she starts to show you the music she likes she closes her eyes and knows every lyric and has this expression of true passion and love for the music, i am captivated by women who are captivated by the purest elements of life from music to dance to nature

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone? for women, i fall in infatuation quite easily. i was always more cautious with men of course and now i avoid them altogether. but love is something i’ve been becoming more conservative of somehow. i think because i was so hurt by someone before and gave and gave without receiving and im scared of that happening again. i have to be receiving love to give it, thats something i finally can control my impulses over and protect myself from.

Ever fallen for your best-friend? HA

Ever fallen for a straight girl? HAHA

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?) heck to the no i couldnt make it past two episodes

Favorite comfort food? macaroni and cheese

Coffee or tea? tea

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above? none but i have tried vegetarian before

Do you have any pets? a chinchilla and a cat!

Early-riser or night-owl? night owl

What is your sign? gemini sun, sag moon, sag rising

What is your Myers-Briggs type? INFP

Who was your first lesbian crush? my first serious lesbian crush was on a girl at my middle school who dressed to the nines every day in vintage dresses and sweaters and she flirted with practically everyone just joking around and always had a boyfriend but was just charming in every way. my whoel day would eb ruined if i couldn’t just see her or say hello once, and i thought i was just obsessed until i was like ‘wait what if she kissed me’ and BAM i knew it was a real life crush

At what age did you know you were a lesbian? im not really sure. i identified as bi/pan from freshman year to junior year i think, but then was realizing i definitely had a preference and didn’t want to be with guys in a relationship at all to be honest but even up until last summer i was really questioning if i was asexual, so its been a journey but i think i finally fully realized i am a happy happy lesbian after meeting lynn

At what age did you come out (if you have)? i was 14 when i first told my parents i was bi, 18 when i said im a lesbian

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)? just my girly friend

Talk about how your day went i worked this morning 7-11 after only sleeping 4 hours since i got hooked on ‘tipping the velvet’ the bbc miniseries, said goodbye to a friend, had school and did a presentation on how to make rosemilk bubble tea, i ate at a moomin cafe with my coworker, and now am working on homework and doing this survey and putting off my night cleaning duties eheh

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future i just want to have a family and to have my books published, thats all i really need. a loving wife, my sister still by my side as my partner in crime, so many children, so many stories finally told that people are reading. i really want to build a lovely house for my family like my grandparents did once upon a time, with secret rooms and unique hiding places, a house they can pass down as they grow up and it can have our lineage. i want to live by the mountains and trees and water, i want to be able to speak mandarin, cantonese, korean, japanese, icelandic, italian, arabic, and polish fluently

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ignis-et-equi · 5 years

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Okay. Weird rambling time and then sleep.

I've been Idaho Falls all of 2 days and already have a TON of men interested in me thanks to FetLife and Tinder. While this is all fine and dandy, I have two issues.

1) I want friends. I want guy friends and I want girl friends. There is a horrible lack of girls on Tinder for the obvious reasons. (gay + Mormon centric Idaho = lonely lesbians) How do I meet girls? Like not even just for hookups. I just really would like some variety in my social life. I wanna feel comfortable and safe when I go over to someone's house and not worry about forgetting my tampons at home. I want soft cuddles and sleep overs and a reason to go do all the girly things. There's just a different kind of connection to be had with girls and I'm really missing that.

2) I want friends. (Yeah, I already said that). I don't wanna have to always be ready for a dude to want to fuck me. I don't want to put myself in multiple situations with a lot of build up and expectation. I know how I am. I won't say no if I'm really into the guy. But I don't want all of my friendships to be centered around casual sex. I want some, but not all.

There are now 4 guys that have stated they want to fuck me and that I've talked to at length.

One of them I'm not really interested in at this point, but if he's willing to ease up on the sex stuff, I'd love to be able to hang out.

I met another last night and he was a perfect gentleman. We've been texting for about a week now and share a lot of artsy interests. He's been dabbling in resin casting and wood carving, which I find super fucking awesome. He's also been to the munches here in town and is active on FetLife. I enjoy him quite a bit and am looking forward to working on some projects with him.

I met two more today on Tinder that I'm considering. One was super sweet and messaged me right off the bat saying he was only looking for a FWB, nothing serious, and stated that he totally understood if I wasn't into that despite the fact that I have "polyamorous and into BDSM" clearly plastered on my profile. Upon further conversation, we discovered we also have a bit in common. He's got his own forge and makes knives and such. And he welds. So that's really awesome and I hope I can maybe come play in his forge one day. (No, that's not an innuendo.)

The last is an English lit major who is really good with words. He hasn't been too pushy, and managed to hold a non-sexual conversation with me for a few hours before I brought up BDSM. He is not, however, kinky.

My concern is that I'm gonna want to change my mind, or I will want to not have sex every time we hang out. And I don't wanna deal with anyone trying to pressure me into anything because that just sucks.

I also don't know how the fuck I'm gonna juggle that many prospective partners. I'm unemployed and money is time consuming to get and impossible to have fun without.

So, yeah. I don't fucking know.

#words #1.30.2019 #sexcapades

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ismael37olson · 5 years

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Jon ALi Presents: The Top 20 Music Videos Of 2018!

Hello, it’s me (again). Just yesterday, I worked my way through my Top 50 Albums Of 2018. And now, it’s time lay your eyes on a visual treat: My Top 20 Music Videos of 2018!

This list was fairly easy to make, considering we don’t really get that many great music videos anymore. It’s been a dying music accompanying art form for years, but luckily, there’s always a handful of artists who decide to step up their game and rise above the basics of the world. As always, let me know what you think and feel free to comment below with your own list. BESOS!

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20. St. Vincent – Fast Slow Disco

St. Vincent dropped her serious artsy antics and let loose in this wonderfully steamy Zev Deans-directed clip for the re-worked version of her song “Slow Disco,” which sees her dancing through a sweaty crowd of men in a gay club. We must appreciate!

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19. Years & Years – Sanctify

Olly Years and co. dropped a few stellar visuals this year to bring their Palo Santo vision to life. “Sanctify” kicked things off properly and saw Olly deliver his best dance performance yet. He shall not be ignored!

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18. Anderson .Paak – ‘Til It’s Over

More artists should just get FKA twigs to dance in their videos for them. The results are spectacular.

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17. Drake – Nice For What

Drake gets enough attention, but he did good in dropping a star-studded music video to accompany his 2018 smash love letter to all of the strong, independent women around the world. More of this, please.

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16. Kim Petras – Heart to Break

The deliciously sweet and cool, cotton candy princess fantasy we all needed in 2018 was brought by this rising pop starlet. Escapism at its very best.

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15. John Duff – Girly

“Hate on it, Say what you wanna say say…” Paying meticulous homage to pop queens including Madonna (“Hung Up”), Britney Spears (“Stronger”), Beyoncé (“Crazy in Love”), Christina Aguilera (“Come on Over”) and most heavily, Mariah Carey‘s “Heartbeaker” turned out to be quite the serve for Mr. John Duff. There’s simply no denying… he did THAT!

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14. Céline Dion – Ashes (from “Deadpool 2” Motion Picture Soundtrack)

A Canadian legend and a lovable superhero dancing in heels. Yeah, this video is here simply because it brought me so much joy. Enough said.

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13. Bruno Mars – Finesse (Remix) [Feat. Cardi B]

Sometimes all you need is a bit of nostalgia. Rocking ’90s fashion while recreating scenes from the sketch comedy series In Living Color, Bruno and Cardi proved to be quite the winning duo. It was simply everything we needed at the time. Good vibes all around!

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12. Kali Uchis – After The Storm (ft. Tyler, The Creator & Bootsy Collins)

Kali‘s hairdressers are birds? Her husband and children are plant people? All of the processed food in her “After The Storm” universe has Bootsy Collins on it, and he’s singing to her? Yeah, there’s a whole lot going on here but it’s executed in the most vibrant of ways. Visual eye candy that made the song even better.

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11. MNEK – Tongue

MNEK takes full control of the spotlight as he directly makes eyes across the dinner table at another man before severing up some fierce, vogue-heavy choreography with his dance troupe every time the chorus drops in this extravagant pop clip. I absolutely loved seeing MNEK embracing his sexuality like never before. A moment, a vibe, an artist fully coming into their own. Forever LOVE!

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10. Kendrick Lamar & SZA – All The Stars

This arresting clip saw two superstars embrace the African aesthetic via a variety of looks and stunning imagery inspired by the groundbreaking Marvel superhero film. K-Dot even walks around with literal black panthers at one point. It’s truly something from start to finish… continued kudos to Kendrick for consistently pushing the envelope with visual after visual. I can watch these two do anything all day.

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9. Billie Eilish – when the party’s over

Sometimes, the beauty of a video lies in its simplicity, and that’s just what’s happening here. Pay more attention to Billie Eilish!

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8. Troye Sivan – My My My!

This glorious, ’90s-leaning visual directed by Sky Ferreira and Lorde collaborator Grant Singer – saw our rising gay pop prince Troye looking and sounding more secure than ever in his sexuality. If only I had more Troye Sivan’s when I was growing up. Endless love for this one.

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7. Ariana Grande – thank u, next

While there’s no actual narrative here, it’s without a doubt pure campy fun to see homages to movies about women – Mean Girls, 13 Going on 30, Legally Blonde, and Bring It On – and their strong friendships in the context of a song about being happy with yourself, instead of the dependence that comes with being boo’d up. The song was a big ol’ meme to begin with so it was only fitting that the video would be filled with the forever meme’s themselves. Once again, nostalgia wings!

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6. Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa – One Kiss

This whole video is just a god damn VIBE, MOOD, AESTHETIC… whatever you want to call it. It’s all the things with a hefty dose of ’90s vibes throughout.

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5. Janelle Monáe – PYNK

Janelle Monáe gave us an abundance of visual eye candy this year, but the female celebration that is “PYNK” without a doubt takes the cake. PYNK Vagina pants. PYNK Vagina pants. PYNK Vagina pants. The end.

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4. The Carters – Apeshit

Beyoncé and Jay-Z took over the Louvre and made a music video. NEED I SAY MORE?!?

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3. Ciara – Level Up

This instantly viral, non-stop dance romp is exactly what we’ve been wanting to see from Ciara for years. A long-awaited, much-deserved win.

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2. ROSALÍA – MALAMENTE

There are many things I can say about this visual event and it’s leading starlet, but I will leave it at A Star Is Born. GET FAMILIAR.

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1. Childish Gambino – This Is America

Coming in at number one with easily the most socially impactful music video this year is Childish Gambino‘s “This Is America.” Drenched with symbolism, the epic clip directly criticizes American gun laws by depicting scenes of senseless violence while dancing along as if everything is fine. It’s essentially 2018 wrapped up in a music video.

from Jon ALi's Blog http://jonalisblog.com/2018/12/28/jon-ali-presents-the-top-20-music-videos-of-2018/

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