#we in texas dont have much to be proud of these days

[fandomination666-blog]

As someone who lives in Texas (unfortunately) I find it SO FUNNY when people make keith overwhelmingly southern. Like, cmon yall. Texas history 101, the cowboy era ended a long ass time ago, most of us DONT wear cowboy hats anymore. Why the fuck would keith ride a horse???? Nobody does that unless they own horses??? And horses are incredibly expensive???

Like, I understand cowboy aus, and historical aus, but if Texas, in 2024, isn't like that (the stereotypes are so wild) then why would it be like that in approx 2314?

Very few wear cowboy hats or boots. Very few have horses, and NOBODY rides them to school, ffs. Keith is not a farmhand.

Some texas stereotypes that are true, however...

-yeah we say yall nonstop

-ain't, wouldja, couldn't've, etc.

-confederate flag is less common here, normally you see the "come and take it" or the "don't tread on me"

-if keith ever went to public school, 1/3 of his classmates or more are Latino

-most Texans know moderate amounts of Spanish

-we celebrate Cinco de Mayo, and most ppl think it's Mexican independence day (it's not)

-barbecue.

-chili WITHOUT BEANS YOU HEATHEN

-will fight over food, family, or football

-either you support the Dallas Cowboys or the Houston Texans. Any other team is sacrilege. Once you make this choice, it WILL have effects on your social life.

-football is basically king here lol, none of the other stuff in school gets nearly the funding

-people living in rural areas (like Keith's dad) often own guns, and not pistols either-- rifles and shotguns, usually

-NOBODY SAYS YEEHAW. at least not unironically

-Texans will ironically say yeehaw, rootin-tootin, etc bc we are aware of our history and think it's wack

-were not all racist, but everyone knows at least one person who is (usually an older family member)

-mind your gotdamn manners at the table. Get those elbows away from your food

-sir and ma'am for strangers

-open doors for old people. You don't have to be a man to do this.

-please and thank you is SO important, people will assume things about you otherwise

-if you don't have a church, you miss out on a lot of community (coming from a non-religious person)

-most people here are Baptist, on that note (Hispanic people contribute to the Catholic population, but still, Baptist is #1)

-internet service is awful unless you're in a city

-we WILL close all schools for 2 inches of snow/ice

-we laugh at hurricanes, and then do our best to help our Houston neighbors

-but everybody hates Houston and Dallas, unless you live there

-most people are okay with Austin, San Antonio, etc

-EL PASO IS TINY, AND HALF OF IT IS IN MEXICO (and is called Ciudad Juárez there)

-beer is god. And God has no problem with drinking. (According to beliefs here)

-gambling is illegal here, but we love it, so states like Oklahoma have built casinos RIGHT ON THE STATE BORDER so that we can drive a bit and gamble as we please

-everybody's dad drives a truck. Otherwise people assume he's got a small pp

#I can make more #if anyone is interested #i just love/hate texas stereotypes #we have a culture.. #that can be used in writing.. #but people just make shit up sometimes lol #im not mad about this i just think its weird #PLEASE ask me about Texas things for keith and his dad PLEASE #we in texas dont have much to be proud of these days #let me have keith #please #keith kogane #texan keith #voltron #vld keith #vld #voltron legendary defender

[celestialpotat0]

guadalupe mountains

Went to 4 codes solo during the most recent 7 nights of graveyard shift. I only mention it because it's one of the parts of my shift that induces the most stress going into work and i'm proud of myself for continually getting more experience and proving to myself that i am capable of handling pediatric code response solo. havent been to a real neonatal code yet though. It's been about 7 or so days since the end of my nights and I have been consistently unable to fall back asleep after 5-6hrs each night. During the past week off, I'd usually feel severely exhausted, like unable to stay awake, from dinner onward. i'd usually fall asleep in a light sleep for some time while constantly waking up and falling back asleep in many cycles, then eventually force myself to get up to brush my teeth and floss and get ready for bed, then i'd fall asleep immediately for the night, wake up ~5hrs later and be unable to fall back asleep.

thur: landed in el paso,texas. ate at a 96-yr-old mexican restaurant by a graveyard. the green salsa was very yummy and the chips tasted warm and fresh.

fri: white sands

sat: carlsbad caverns saw turkey vultures, bighorn sheep, barbary sheep, cave swallows

sun: guadalupe mountains + bat flight hiking here was one of my favorite experiences on the trip because of the solitude in nature. the hike didnt lead to any spectacular destination. it wasn't a peak that i would feel accomplished conquering. it was a loop through the desert with the terrain and scenery being pretty much the same throughout the entire 6.5 miles. many people wouldn't say that it was even beautiful because i think many people don't find the dry desert as beautiful as alpine lakes, waterfalls, forests, etc. it was uncomfortable - i was wearing shorts and the trail was narrow and the desert plants were overgrown onto the trail from both sides so throughout the entire hike there was no way for me to avoid walking through the desert plants. my legs got scratched up and poked by sharp and rough branches, leaves, shrubs, thorns, spikes, etc for virtually the entire hike. i had to be very careful to avoid cacti scraping my legs. had to take off my boots multiple times because sharp plant parts had lodged themselves into my socks and were painfully poking me. the air felt very dry.

but we passed hardly anyone during the entire hike, and i felt so immersed in the wilderness. there was this serenity of hiking for hours with no real "highlight" or destination in mind. just being outside, walking where nobody else decided to walk that day, surrounded by other non-human, living creatures. i just didn't want to be anywhere else in the world and i didnt want to return to civilization.

i also have a deep love for the desert. the desert just feels like the lesser loved type of place in the world, almost like the forgotten place or the place that people don't like to venture out to as much compared to the yosemites, banffs, big surs, and zions of the world. people might go to the desert for coachella but not as often for appreciating the desert flora. the plants look tough, thorny, rough, spiky, dry (ocotillo and sotol and its flowers are some of my faves) and i have a special fondness for the underdogs and the not conventionally beautiful. maybe that's why i am drawn to the desert. saw lots of lizards, amazing birds, really cool insects. ive wanted to see javelina in the wild but haven't yet :/

this is exactly why i need to surround myself with nature every once in a while. i dont need to see the most conventionally spectacular features of a park. i just want to walk outside all day surrounded by nature in solitude and quiet, staying far away from the crowds.

mon: guadalupe mountains saw a very beautiful yellow bird that ive never seen before

i have to go to modern dance now but i hope i will be able to come back eventually to add some more pleasant memories from this trip.

[jjextseo]

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[introspectionofaqueer]

just a glimpse

today, i finally had a little taste of what life might be like once this is over. i had just a glimpse of who i might be after its all said and done with. just a little tiny bit at a time its getting easier. each passing day just hurts slightly less than the previous. today i did a couple hours worth of yard work, something about it just feels so rewarding. then i went and got my check from my job that i no call no showed at which im proud of myself for doing, i thought i was gonna be too anxious to go through with showing my face in there. got 120 bucks though, im glad i went. i need all i can get right now, money do be kinda tight still. then i had dinner at texas roadhouse and ate so much fucking food i thought id burst. unfortunately while i was at the restaurant was probably the hardest part of my day, i had nothing but my moms company to distract me and when im with her id rather be in my head. but after i made it through that i came home and finally started stranger things season 4. my opinion so far, it seems like a totally different show. not in a bad way, its definitely cool. just definitely doesnt seem to connect to the other seasons, the flow is not as clear. maybe theyll make it all connect shit idk, im only on episode three. to end my evening ive been laying in bed practicing my ukulele and drawing, and it feels so nice to have a creative outlet. i honestly kind of hate commission work. it makes me feel pressured and constrained. my friend asked me if they could pay me to draw them a furry of themselves and i started on it but im stuck on the fucking hands and its making me so frustrated i havent touched the drawing in days. so ive been drawing other shit instead, but oh well...maybe ill get around to finishing it. when i was at the restaurant with my mom i did something i really am not proud of and have been trying to figure out why i reacted this way. they brought us 4 rolls and i had eaten two of them, precisely my half of the basket. my mom made a comment saying we needed more, and i said i was good. then she said something like , "you and samantha are always eating all of the bread and then wont ask for more." and i snapped back at her soooo fast and in a really defensive and angry tone, "I only ate two of them. thats literally half." i guess i dont like how shes always comparing me to my sister, i hate being lumped in with someone else who im nothing like. i want to be seen as my own individual, not the other version of her favorite child. i was also irritated that she was implying i ate "all of the bread" when i literally only ate my half. i just wish i had the ability to stop myself and think in situations and respond calmly and thoughtfully express my emotions instead of snapping back. at least the first step is awareness, and i know my defensiveness is something i need to work on. blame the aries in me, i guess. not saying thats an excuse but...could be an explanation. ive always had so much anger and frustration that it comes out at the slightest inconvenience. i dont know why im so angry. i guess i feel hurt by the world, resentful of my situation. i need to stop feeling and treating myself like a victim. ive always been so angry, that my parents sucked, that i got a chronic disease, that im not straight or cis, that i cant think or feel like neurotypical people. im so angry that ive always had to be an outsider. its not fair. i want to be accepted. why wont they accept me? havent i been through enough? i guess its never enough until you learn your lesson to get off your ass and stop pitying yourself. no one else is going to take care of me so i better suck it the fuck up and do it my god damn self. and i better make it fucking worth it.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child

Diego Hargreeves x child!reader

warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”

deigo really said “?????”

how dad

but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for

✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨

“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”

he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them

but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT

“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”

“give back”

“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”

diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs

as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”

“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”

“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”

“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”

you did not sign up for this

you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you

i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity

“dad, i want to meet the family!”

“no you don’t”

end of discussion

despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad

he really liked marvel movies

“come on, that would never happen!”

“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”

“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”

you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him

“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”

*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*

you go to public school

you do have your dad’s last name

which occasionally gets recognized

“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”

“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)

practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets

so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself

you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times

“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”

“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”

“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”

watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead

you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad

even if he was a dick

your dad came home silent and you knew he knew

“you okay?”

“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”

finally getting the chance to meet your family

“who are you?” -allison

“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”

*jaw dropping*

and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)

“and you are?” -luther

“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus

“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five

“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben

“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya

“i...i know who all of you are” -you

diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes

“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison

“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”

“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”

you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities

so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well

“where the hell did you learn that?”

“al showed me a few moves!”

“that old man? you’re kidding”

you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times

you actually loved her sm

but there was something a bit off about her

besided the fact she was a robot

klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE

it wasn’t all bad

ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings

“they’re perfect”

“they just stabbed someone, buddy”

“who are you talking to?”

FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU

“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”

“what are you throwing?”

“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”

“IS THAT A GUN”

<3 family

running into patch!!

“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”

“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”

that was the last time you saw her :/

well, your dad was now a wanted man

“what happened to your arm?”

“no”

you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this

wait—yes you did

vanya has powers????

“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”

“yeah. so did we.”

diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that

but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want

the vibe is almost getting shot several times

by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?

going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨

“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”

“dad, i love you, but no”

“y/n, i love you too, but yes”

“no”

“yes”

“NO”

“YES”

you won

but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?

without any of your family

“this is...this is not good”

understatement of the year(s)

what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961

no seriously, what

it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own

and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad

“son of a—”

visiting dad! (two years later)

“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”

“2 years, dad. you?”

his hair was so LONG

“2 months”

“christ, that’s it?!”

“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”

“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”

“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”

“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”

“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”

diego: 👁👄👁

you: 👀

running into five on the street soon after

“uncle five?”

“no time to talk”

“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”

“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”

“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”

“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”

finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you

you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days

dad broke out

lila too

“im your new mom!”

“you’re what?”

diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere

he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer

meeting grandpa :)

“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”

“bitch”

“what did you just call me?”

“a bitch.”

your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter

reggie was stunned

cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud

this is so confusing

diego just disappeared off the face of the earth

and assassins were on your case

“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”

“y/n, just curve their bullets”

“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”

you were doomed

theres too much to go over

apparently you died on a farm????

and then you didn’t??????

and your dad was almost apart of the commission

“hey, you okay, y/n?”

“i would like to take a nap please”

“yeah, me too”

“me three!” -klaus

yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //

#diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves #umbrella academy x reader #umbrella academy #umbrella academy imagine #tua #tua imagine #tua x reader #diego hargreeves x child!reader #hargreeves!reader

[pbandjesse]

Today was a great day off. Like I couldnt have asked for a better sunday. I was so productive! It was great, and I dont feel so horrible right now. So things are looking up. 

I did have some horrific dreams last night. But once I woke up I felt alright. James said they were making biscuits but when I got up even he idea of food made me feel sick. I dont know why. But I just couldnt. I got washed and dressed. My hair made me feel like a princess. I was in a good mood. 

I did try the biscuits. But they tasted kind of sour? I ate half of one, but it was just. Not my favorite thing. 

We would get ourselves together and head out soon though. Our first stop was the farmers market. We didnt particularly need anything, but it feels so normal to be there again. Like its a crowd?? Its weird. It feels safe still, even though there are so many people. We got tomato plants and a few other small things. I actually was the one who remembered cash this time so that gave us a budget. We only spend like. $15. A cheap date. 

We headed up to towson next. We went to marshals so I could find a shampoo for curly hair. And while I dont like the packaging for what I got, I liked the smell the best, and it is specifically a curly brand, so Im hoping for the best. We also got face wash and bronner's (at a really good price!), and a hot honey. It was a good trip and a good haul. 

We went to savers next. I found fabrics for bears, and James got a jersey for a friend. It was a nice trip. 

We went to five guys for lunch. Had a picnic in the car. Listened to a podcast. It was still early and we had so much day. 

We went home and I got right into cleaning. James worked on the kitchen and I did the bathroom, before jumping into my big project: reorganizing the studio. 

I basically pulled everything into the livingroom so I could work on different pieces at a time. I moved all my fabric and finished plushes to the bedroom to get sorted. I moved things in the closet. It wa a lot of work. 

Around 2 James's friend Anna came to visit before she flew back to Texas. I was a little embarrassed about the piles but soon enough it was all clean and I am so proud about how the studio looks. And now all my for sale stuff is in one place. And my drawers are organized and just everything is in a better place.  

The fabric took a lot longer though. James and Anna went to go play frisbee and I   spent like an hour going through the fabric pile. Putting the tiny pieces in a bag, the larger pieces in a trunk, and folding the bigger pieces. I pulled all the fuzzy fabric out to put in a basket because thats what Im focusing on right now. But man. I have a lot of material. 

I kept sorting things. James and Anna would play video games for a while. And I would work on cleaning both fish tanks. Which took almost a whole hour. But it is done. I need to get new plants for the beta tank this week because I had to cut the ones I have all the way down. We might do that tomorrow. Well see. I just didnt have it in me to go out again today. 

Once Anna left for the airport, James got on discord to play DND with one of the groups. I got set up in the bedroom to play pokemon. But then I got an email that my hammock stand was here! I ran downstairs and the box was much better than I expected. But it wasnt terribly heavy. 

It is big, but it fits in the livingroom and my bedroom and its great. I love it. So thats where I spent the next couple hours. Just laying in the hammock in our bedroom. 

I had a good time playing pokemon, taking pictures, enjoying my lemonde. Once James's game was over we would have leftovers for dinner, and I took a bath. And now were in bed. My back hurts but I feel good besides that. I hope I can sleep easy tomorrow and enjoy work tomorrow. I hope you all have a good night and a fun day tomorrow! 

[abrakophile]

pt 2 of those letters, he didnt do all of these in all caps so thank god.

OP’s name 03 SEPT 03

Hullo you, how are you doing? I hope your doing good. Mom told me that you’ve started your first grade! Im very proud of you. When I was your age I liked my first grade. Do you like yours?

I’ll be home very soon. Probably before this letter even gets to you. Mail is very slow here. I also want to say thanks for the picture that you colored for me. your art is improving, and that makes me proud too. And your spelling! I like spelling, I think that I used to be good at it. Im not too sure anymore. I hope that I get to go back to school soon. I want to learn everything. What do you want to learn about?

its been pretty hot here, but lately its been getting cold tat night. You can see the stars very good here. Maybe we can find someplace in Texas where we can see the stars good. Theres millions of them. I’ll be out of the army soon. What do you think of that? Should I stay in the army?

I havne’t been doing alot lately, just trying to get things together so I can leave to go home. I miss you very much. Im sorry that Ive missed so much. Things will be better. What do you think?

Know what? Im glad we dont live here. its much hotter than Texas and very very dusty. The citys are better, but, that are very crowded. The men here wear really long shirts that look like a womans dress. And they sometimes wear genie hats.

HaHaHa.

I love you OP

be good, help mommy around the house.

I’ll be home soon enough

Daddy

xoxoxoxoxo<3x<3x

---

OP “Little Star” (he wrote “little star” here because my Ojibwe name translates to it, I’m guessing? Though I thought it was “north star”. Also our last name is Day so my first name was supposed to be like a pun I guess? its whatever.)

How’s daddies little creepy girl? your mothers silly, I wanted to name you Autumn, or Winter, (Ops name) is very beautiful, thats what your mother wanted. She says she pushes me around alot, but guess what, I let her because it makes her happy. Tomorrow will be your first birthday. I’m sad because I will not be there with you. But I’ll sing happy birthday anyway! Next year will be different because I’m bringing you to love with me and your other grandma and grandpa. Me and your mother will work something out I’m sure. Its not a big letter because you can’t read yet! But happy birthday!!!

From, Dad.

---

OP mom’s name, with a flower drawn on the “i”

“hi” its me, ni(he drew a spiral here)?

trying to think of how to start your letter

how have you been? i miss you very much. if you were (scratched out letter “a”) body parts, you would be legs. because i would miss my legs, i would have to drag mu body all over the ground. but maybe that would be o.k., because I could take (OPs initials) on a mutant slug piggyback ride. How is (OP’s middle name)?

I miss (scratched out letter “m”) our (underlined twice) little girl too. If she was body parts, she’d be my arms. And I’d miss my arms if they were torn from my body, because if i caught on fire, I wouldn’t be able to put out the flames, so i would just run around on fire, screaming!

You (scratched out “to”) two are precise or precious, well..you know, spellings not that great these days. I love you both.

---

OP JUNE 20 2003

I LOVE YOU

I DREW YOU A PICTURE TODAY, I HOPE THAT YOU LIKE IT. I MISS YOU ALOT AND HOPE TO BE HOME SOON.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? MOM TOLD ME THAT YOU PASSED KINDERGARDEN AND WILL BE MOVING TO THE FIRST GRADE! IM VERY PROUD OF YOU, YOUR SMARTER THAN I WAS AT YOUR AGE, YOUR PROBABLY SMARTER THAN ME NOW!

HAVE YOU BEING BEHAVING FOR YOUR MOTHER? IM SURE YOU HAVE. WHAT ABOUT HELPING HER OUT? DO YOU HAVE ANY CHORES?

HOWS (OP’s hometown) DOING? HAVE YOU GONE ANYPLACE SPECIAL LATELY?

PLEASE SEND ME SOME OF YOUR DRAWINGS.

IM GOING TO GO NOW. ILL WRITE TO YOU SOME MORE LATER

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND BEHAVE YOURSELF

LOVE *hearts and x’s*

Daddy.

(and this one came with a drawing...)

#letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 2

[fireofunknownorigin]

i was tagged by @supernaturalisahorrorshow and @stanfordera hehe <3

name: rachel

nicknames: rachy or rach! :) my nickname that my little brother calls me is cheeky gerald (cheeky/cheeks for short) which is too ridiculous to try and explain but he’s been calling me that for years so yes i do answer to that too ahaha

starsign: gemini (my bday is may 21st so im actually the first day of gemini season and a taurus-gemini cusp!)

gender: butch lesbian (yes this is my gender AND sexuality) (phoenix im just stealing your answer for this one because. YEAH)

height: 5′5!

sexual orientation: LESBIAN!!!!!

fav color: purple

current time: 10:38 PM

current location: austin texas :) yeehaw

average hours of sleep: ~7ish hours probably?? not too shabby

lucky number: 69

last thing i googled: i spent like 30 minutes earlier googling a bunch of phrases to help my brother find this random semi-obscure book he read as a kid and couldn’t remember the title of (yes i found it eventually and yes im very proud of myself for it)

number of blankets i sleep with: 2!!! also i sleep with a minimum of 2 stuffed animals every night <3

fav fictional characters: PHOENIX SORRY I FEEL LIKE IM STEALING YOUR ANSWERS BUT sam winchester, arthur pendragon, and thorin oakenshield are my current faves! (if we count the fact that sam should have been boyking of hell then all three of these characters are technically kings.... hmm what does that say about me i wonder....)

fave bands/artists: my music taste is so chaotic... some faves are hole, beastie boys, wu-tang clan, the rolling stones, grateful dead, led zeppelin, blue oyster cult, the notorious b.i.g., nicole dollanganger, lana del rey, a tribe called quest, etc etc... i also listen to a lot of bluegrass and country music lol

dream job: umm i dont know honestly?? librarian? rare books and manuscripts archivist? i also would love to maybe publish my own english translations of latin texts someday? and another part of me is like ah fuck a job i just want to live in a hobbit hole and have a wife and grow cool crops for us to eat </3

random fact: ive been raised a vegetarian my whole life! also i am jewish and actually pretty religious (as in i would say it significantly impacts my daily life and routines) even though i dont talk about it as much online anymore. and a third bonus fact is that i wear cargo shorts pretty much every single day :)

do you have any other blogs?: i used to but i remade my blog a few months ago because i just wanted to be able to post about wincest whenever i wanted to

when did your blog reach its peak?: i literally have like. 20 followers on this blog lol (i appreciate all of yall very much <3) but in like 2014 i used to run a semi-popular harry potter blog... highlight of that experience was when i got “cancelled” for saying that i hated dobby... good times

what made you decide to get tumblr?: i think i just got it because some of my friends in middle school had it and i wanted them to think i was cool lol??

why did you choose your URL?: one of my FAVORITE songs of all time (which was featured in supernatural 1x17 hell house) is fire of unknown origin by blue oyster cult hehe!

i’m not sure who to tag for this who hasnt already done this already but if anyone wants to do it feel free to @ me so i can see your answers!!! <3

#thank you cel and phoenix for tagging me!!!!!! #rachypost

[ldybluerse]

My Heart and Head Hurt.

So Very, Very Much

I am Asexual. I like cuddling, kissing, loving touches, I even love to make inappropriate sex jokes. Okay, I can make some pretty lewd sex jokes but that’s what happens when like 90% of your friends for the past ten years identify as pansexual. I just don’t feel sexual attraction and I am mostly repulsed by sex (ehhh it’s too much to explain).

At the first of the year, I moved to Texas from Michigan. Leaving behind all my friends, which with the internet isn’t terrible... but also my friends are shit at peopling on the Internet. Not angry or blame, they all have depression and anxiety. I get it. Just saying it’s hard to pretty much completely lose that connection with my friends. My friends are also the type where we would all pile into my bed and watch videos while cuddling with each other and my dogs. They spent so much time caring for me after my surgeries.

Being handicapped, and still learning how to live with it (it’s a relatively recent thing and takes relearning how to live life in a way that works for your limitations) I live with my parents. They are great but... they have their own mental health issues that really fucked me up as I grew up. It means that I don’t feel like I can open up or talk to them about anything because of what happened back then. I love them and I know they would do anything for me, but it’s just this thing I have. Heck, I have trouble opening up to my therapist for a long time. My therapist, who I also had to leave in Michigan. And Texas Medicaid? Kind of non-existent. Plus, I’m too old for my parents to be taking care of me, you know western standards and all, so I can’t have insurance through them.

Basically, I ran out of some of my medicine months ago, which means I live in near constant pain too. I can’t go see a therapist, because I can’t afford it. I haven’t run out of my depression medication yet, so there is that.

Since my accident (I will do another post on that later, because that will take a while), I haven’t been able to work. The accident was in December 2011, since 2013, I have had ten surgeries. I started back to school because it doesn’t seem like I’ll ever be up for any type of manual labor. But it also means I feel useless because physically I’m limited and mentally I am so fucked up I can’t do what I can handle doing. I graduated with my Bachelor (really proud of) but Texas has some different requirements that will add a lot of time towards getting my Masters, because Michigan didn’t have those requirements. This means I am going to enroll in an accredited online program, hopefully. Have to get accepted, fingers crossed.

To summarize, for ten months I have been isolated in a different state, dealing with body trying to adjust to different weather and medicine changes. Self isolation isn’t helping but the other problem is when I do reach out, there isn’t someone there...

Background info done, now to what’s troubling me:

My best friend and girlfriend is also Asexual. We’ve been together for almost eight years, but it’s always been long distance (we’re Ace, it doesn’t bug us too much) and I have gone to visit her. We started “talking” through Role Play and until recently, whenever there was lulls in life when a lot wasn’t happening, we could lean back on the Role Play to stay connected. There wasn’t a day when we didn’t talk to each other, even during the hospital visits we both went through, we stayed connected in some small way. And we talked about everything and anything. Our fandoms didn’t always match up, but it was fun listening and learning... I thought...

She was dealing with a lot of stuff, and for a few years was out of work, probably why she had so much time and energy for me. It was really bad for her for a while, where she even verbally attacked me on a few occasions. I know it wasn’t her but her mental illness, so I forgive her for it. But it was bad.

She was raised super Christian (DONT celebrate Halloween because it’s evil type Christian), and she has always been Christian even if she yelled at God a lot in her low days. Yeah, the good Christian girl is dating the Goth Pagan Celtic Witch... whatever you will call me. I’ve been Pagan for about 2/3rds of my life by now, so it’s not like she didn’t know she I was one. She’s never tried to shame or convert me.

My Bachelor is in Religious Studies, I know how good a religion can be for someone’s mental health if they are religious. I would talk to her about rekindling her faith. Finding a church she could at least go sit and listen to, so she could reconnect. She did! And it’s been amazing for her mental health. She has held a steady job for a while, actually is the poster child for the program that helped her move foreword and get her life back in order. I am so very proud of her and I do love her so much.

I just think... she’s outgrown me. The only fandom she talks about anymore is... Christianity. She doesn’t talk about LoZ anymore. She doesn’t talk about Tolkien. She doesn’t watch anime or cartoons anymore. She has no interest in Role Playing, as I said a big part of staying connected.

She talks about work, her cats, crocheting, and her religion. The thing is, I can’t fault her for any of it if it’s what’s best for her. She deserves happiness and stability. But...even when I’m back in school and when I get a job I don’t think I could leave the world of fantasy and fiction behind.

I grew up going to Ren Faires, my dad wearing tights. My first boyfriend I met at Ren Faire, while he was in tights. Labryinth and The Last Unicorn are still my favorite movies of all time! I collect Dragons of all sorts. I’ve watched the whole series of Fraggle Rock a few times, because it’s just wholesome and sweet.

My parents are Trekkies, my mom has had some of her fanfiction a published in old Starlog Zines. We watch fantasy, fiction, actions, cartoons... my mom has always loved the world of books, especially fantasy. She collects unicorns, so many unicorns. When I got into Anime, so did my mom. Kenshin is still her favorite, although to be fair she loved Ultron and Speed Racer when they first came to the states (she says Speed Racer was her first ever crush).

My brothers love the same thing, my oldest brother still fans for Jason David Frank. My other brother, well, he named his cat Pandea after WoW, we have his LotR sword collection, all his movie memorabilia...

We’re nerds and dorks and not afraid to be so.

Since the move the only thing making me happy has been my animals (Gods and Goddesses the fluffy bastards are clingers and just want to love you and be loved which is something I need) and fantasy. I’ve watched several animes I just want to gush about, but if you don’t have someone who is watching it too... you don’t want to ruin it. I want to just talk someone’s ear off about Steven Universe or Miraculous the Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Hell, even Ducktales and Tangled. Do you know how AMAZING they have made Ducktales?! I watched the original series when I was younger but...! And all the inside jokes!!!!

The books! I probably read about thirty or forty in one month when I went on a book binge. They were all trashy romance novels, and admittedly the sex scenes were... meh... I’m Asexual, what do you expect?! Okay... some Aces like sex and stuff. It’s not that important to me. What is, is the connection two people have to each other. The love. And trashy romance novels aren’t the best at giving that... but it’s something.

Oh and the Webcomics. I have always, always loved Webcomics. I used to have the folders on my old computer organized down to the day of the week the comics updated because I so many, that I had to organize them just to get the right updates! Right now Lore Olympics. OMG Lore Olympics. Be still my heart! I am reading several on WEBTOON. I have a few I follow through DeviantArt; Erma is so frikken cute! Daughter of the Lilies, ahhhhhh so amazing and the artwork!!! Pincushion! Constructs will always have a place in my heart!

I just got into the Good Omens fandom, because I’m a Whovian and Tennant is defiantly one of my most favorite of Doctors. He was just so beautiful in it. And when I took my Shakespeare course my teacher had us watch Hamelt and ohhhhh Tennant. Ohhhh you really can’t tell if Hamlet has gone crazy or it’s an act (which he claims it is!!). Sir Patrick Stewart was also just... oh!!! I entered Good Omens because my Instagram was all Ineffable Husbands (I think because of my Doctor Who love). Finally, finally i watched it.

That was like three weeks ago I got into Good Omens and I still am completely in love. The tenderness, the loving looks. I have to read the book! And the script book! (Depression, yay!). I need to listen to the radio adaptation and revisit Queen (I was raised on rock’n’roll. And I mean, David Bowie has probably been the only Rock Star I ever went heart-eyes for... also kinda sad he wasn’t mentioned in Good Omens because he did work with Queen and let’s face it, Bowie was so gender-nonconforming!). I just want to ramble and babble on and on about the series with someone. About all the hidden bits and pieces and theories and things in my head!!!

But... I don’t have anyone. My girlfriend sort of shuts down when I talk about any of the fandoms I like. She will just skip those parts of the conversation and comment on the animal videos I send her or something else. She will talk about work or God. Again, I’m know Religion and people. If there is something I know best is you can’t dictate what someone else’s beliefs are. So while I know the Bible and Christian theory, when she talks about it and tells me stories I can only “nod” and “smile” because if a persons religion isn’t harming themselves or others, and it’s helping them, I don’t think it would be right to argue theory and philosophy with them over what is mostly fairytale stories in a book. I’m not saying their isn’t a Christian God, or many Gods, or things in the Bible didn’t happen, but not all of it is factual nor was it ever meant to be seen as strictly factual. I try to show I am at least paying attention to what she says.

At the same time, with the state I have been in, I probably haven’t given her what she needs when she is telling me about stuff.

Fantasy and fiction has been the only thing keeping me afloat. Religion and work has been helping her. I just can’t see a world without the magic of make-believe but that’s not where she is anymore.

So... I’ve been thinking for a bit now maybe we’re no longer what we need for each other in our lives. Not that we don’t love each other, and not that we can’t still be friends... but maybe it’s time we adventure out? We were what we needed from each other for years... maybe we just aren’t that anymore.

#asexual #relationship #introvert problems #relationship problems #i need a hug #need advice #help #need friends #am lonely #grsm #lgbtq #lgbtpeople #lgbtqa #asexual relationship

[tylercamebackyes]

i adore you, Cy.

-

surprise!! @imonlyhereforgay this is your gift!! i was stressing over it because everyone has so many parts and amazing stuff but i worked really hard on mine so im not changing it anymore. happy pride! also i used When too many times but i dont think TJ would care if he wrote a letter to Cyrus.

-

TJ writes a confession to Cyrus.

-

Dear Cyrus,

These are 10 of the times I got lost in your eyes.

When we went out for milkshakes after my first game of the season. You were telling a story about how your cousin drank his milkshake in 4 minutes flat, only to realize he was lactose intolerant. He never went out to eat with you again because you laughed at him for weeks. You laughed so hard telling the story that you started crying, but your eyes were lit up with joy.

When you came out to me in your basement. I made a joke about how girls would love a ping pong champion. You said you hoped the guys did too. The guys most certainly do. I was stunned into silence because I realized you wouldn't find it so weird that I thought your eyes were pretty.

That time we went on the Ferris wheel at Adrenaline City. You wouldn't look away from the spinning wheel, but I made you have a staring contest with me. You looked like you were about to cry until Marty spun the wheel and you screeched with your head in your hands.

When I had dinner at your house for your dad's birthday. I was helping serve cake when you said I had gotten frosting on my nose. You wiped it off with a napkin because I "wasn't getting the blue off." The blue didn't even come off after.

When I was getting you do do the high jump into the foam pit at Bouncy Castle Land. Andi and Buffy had always let you sit out, but I made you count to 10 with me before you let me push you off the platform.

When my cat had kittens and you were holding one, but it sneezed and you look at me smiling like a goof. I thought I could look at you smiling like a goof forever.

That time we were studying for my math test and you laughed at the drawing of my cat. When you laugh you get a sparkle in your eye. I got  B+ on that math test and you took me to the Spoon to celebrate.

When we were playing the second championship game and I looked over at you during the last timeout. Your smile made me want to win the game to make you proud even though you would be proud either way.

When Andi was thinking about going to New York for an art school, so you went to the swings to think about it. I told you that you were allowed to be upset about it because she was your best friend and you would miss her more if you were here instead of with her. Andi decided not to go.

When you got a brain freeze from eating a snow cone too fast at the fair.

9 times I almost held your hand.  Mostly times I missed my chance to.

When we went on that roller coaster and you said you couldn't feel your hands. I thought about it for a long time, but then we were upside down and I missed my chance.

When I watched your dance final and you were shaking when you finished, because when I'm shaking people holding my hands make me feel better but you were being hugged by Buffy before I got the nerve to.

When you came out to Amber at the Spoon, because she said she was frosting everything rainbow for pride month and you said you would definitely but a piece of cake for that, and she asked if you were LGBT+ and you paused and said you were gay. I didn't want to reach over the table so I didn't hold your hand.

When we were both laying on the couch but we couldn't reach the remote, so we both reached out to get it. I ended up falling off the couch.

When my cat scratched you and I helped you clean your hand, and I did technically hold your hand but I almost really held your hand.

When Andi was up for an art award and they were announcing winners. I started clapping to snap you out of peeling your fingernails. She didn't win, but she got 2nd place.

When we were having a sleepover and you turned over on the air mattress just to say "TJ, I LOVE dinosaurs." You started showing me shadow puppet dinosaurs, but you were too tired to do it right.

At Andi's slumber party, you were doing everyone's nails with Amber, and you painted mine yellow. "You're like my lemon boy, Teej. Or a sour-patch kid. Because you're sweet now," you said.

When Andi was upset about her parents not getting married and Buffy was hanging out with Marty again, you told me that you were afraid it was straining your relationship with them. I told you that if you could survive Celia becoming Ce-Ce and Buffy moving you could survive some change.

8 times I almost kissed you.

When we were at the pool and you did the big water slide, and you were so excited that you choked on the water. You laughed so hard that you had to get out of the pool.

When we met Amber's dog for the first time, and you thought he was the cutest thing in the world.

When we got churros at the fair. You got cinnamon on your nose and I still have no idea how.

When we had that pillow fight and you somehow got a hold of every pillow and it was like you had 3 pairs of nun-chucks.

When we were at the drive-in and you were holding all of the candy because Jonah had a broken arm. He said you wouldn't let him hold anything, but you said his arm was hurting. It was probably both.

That time at the lake when I jumped in, and you didn't want to jump in after me so you tried just walking into the lake but you slipped on the mud.

When we were swimming for Buffy's birthday party, Marty and Jonah flipped your floatie over. You complained about your hair the whole day, but I thought it looked better.

When you saw the shooting star on July 4th. Right after you saw it the fireworks started and the sound scared you.

7 times I almost told someone I liked you.

Buffy asked me after my first game of the season if I liked you, and I almost said yes. I said I didn't know.

My mom asked me why I had become so much happier lately. I said I was just having fun hanging out with you and everyone. Part of it was me being happy about coming out, but it was also being around you that made me so happy.

Jonah asked me how long we had been dating. He really thought we'd been dating for months.

I was paying for a Queen record when Bowie asked about the drawings on my hand. He asked me who drew it and when I said that you drew it, he said, "You two are pretty close, huh?" I just smiled and said yeah.

My cousins came over for Christmas. Addie is 8 years old and when she saw me texting you she said, "Why are you smiling so much? My mamma says people only smile that much when they're in love!" I thought it was really funny that she pointed it out before Buffy or Amber.

Jonah, Marty, and I were watching Love, Simon and they asked why I knew all of the emails by heart. It was nice to think of having a love story like that, even if it wasn't with you.

I almost told Amber's dog once, but Andi walked in before I said it.

6 times I did hold your hand.

When you were over and my parents started fighting while we played Mortal Kombat. I didn't want to feel scared like I always feel when they fight, even though I had never done it when they fought before.

When I came out to my dad. Or before, I guess. It made it easier having you there because I had someone there for me if my dad wasn't.

When you had a sleepover and we tried to watch all of Supernatural in one night. I fell asleep after a few episodes, but the first scene always makes me nervous.

When I was going into math class for the last test of the semester. You had worked with me the most and you believing that I could pass made me really want to pass the test.

When we listened to Paris by Sabrina Carpenter for the first time. It was more of me grabbing your hand and spinning you around to the music, but it counts.

When you brought me the blueberry macadamia muffin. That was one of the best muffins I've ever had, by the way.

5 times I almost called you at 2 am.

When my parents were fighting and I wanted to distract myself, but I ended up watching YouTube.

When Khalid announced his tour and I saw the post. You actually ended up calling me first.

When my cat threw up on my bed. I was really stressed but I got worried about the cat and told my mom instead.

After you dislocated your thumb when I tried to teach you how to play basketball. I was so worried that I couldn't sleep, but your mom posted on Facebook that you were fine so I let it be.

When I realized the song stuck in my head was Electric Love by BØRNS. Then I realized you were probably asleep, so I didn't.

4 times I did call you at 2 am.

When my dad told my mom that I was gay. I thought he was cool with it, but while they were fighting he said, "So YOU can have our abomination of a son." My parent decided to get a divorce later that week. I probably called you every week because I couldn't handle it.

When I realized another song that was stuck in my head was Maneater by Nelly Furtado. You didn't know what song I was talking about until I sang the "you wish you never met her at all" part.

When I had that nightmare where a clown came and attacked the whole town but you had an alliance with him but he was set on killing me so you died defending me then the clown died because he wasn't allowed to kill you.

When you texted me saying you hated crying at 2 am. You were crying about your stepdad making a homophobic joke. I said that he probably didn't mean it, and would stop once he realized he was directly hurting you. It still wasn't okay, though.

3 times I thought I had lost you.

When Reed brought that gun. I know I've said it dozens of times, but I didn't think he would bring it while you were there.

When your dad was thinking about moving to Texas and you got really excited, but your mom said she didn't want to give up custody so he stayed. I wanted you to be happy, but I also wanted to be with you forever and I wouldn't really want to be in Texas for months or years on end.

When Kira outed me to the school, and she looked at you when she said I was really obvious about it. I thought you weren't ready to come out in any way at school, but you said that our friendship was worth more than avoiding humiliation.

2 times I almost confessed.

That day when we couldn't reach the remote from the couch. Me falling off the couch made me forget about it, though.

When I came out to you. I was crying and you were almost crying and I have no idea why I was so terrified.

1 time I did.

Right now. I don't know why it's taken me so long, but with enough reassurance from Jonah and Andi, I'm writing this letter to you right now. I adore you, Cy. I want to be around you all the time. I would really, really like to kiss you. I know you might not feel the same, but I also know our friendship would survive a crush. I don't like keeping secrets from you. The last one is this: I like you. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. And I had a teddy bear named Blueberry for 12 years until Reed blew it up. That's all.

    Love, TJ. aka Tyler James.

#andi mack #tyrus #pride gift exchange #my fic #cyrus goodman #tj kippen

[growingrootsinco]

Questions I never Ask

The holidays were awesome. Lots of gifts and Dylan stayed with us for a week. Its hard for us because when hes here, we continuously hear stories of what its like for him at home. On 1 side I feel hes just a kid complaining that he cant have his way so he acts out. But theres another side I see thats concerning. Its no secret to the people around me that I cant stand Dylans step dad and I have a huge problem with many of his actions. When your step son asks you "whats for dinner", your response should not be "your moms pussy". Also its almost a daily occurrence when his step dad has to brag about getting some friends together to jump Jeremy at a bar. So I decided against my better judgement to pry a bit. Normally I could give 2 shits about exs because they have nothing to do with me. Just a small amount of background is really all I care to know. Even if that background isnt accurate, it still makes no difference to me. I can usually see thru the bullshit and I decide if the cycle repeats itself. Jeremy and I rarely talk about exs with each other because it makes no difference to us. This time I decided I wanted more to the story. He had told me that he was the one that left. I didnt believe it because I know too much about his past relationships. We have been friends for MANY years so hes vented to me quite often. I asked him to elaborate because I knew he would tell it like it is. Even if its something he isnt proud of. He began by telling me they were always on some kind of drugs together. Mixing pills, meth and coke with alcohol. He said they began fighting all the time because she was going out all the time and leaving him with Dylan. Then he put his hands on her the last day they were together. 3 days later he packs his shit. His words were "if i was getting so mad that I was putting my hands on her then I didnt need to be there". Its hard to hold it against him when he had a point. And honestly I cant judge. Ive had my ass beat by a few guys before and a few of them I deserved. So we talked the whole way back from New Mexico about exs. His track record doesnt scare me. What scares me is how well hes done breaking that cycle. I told him from the beginning that there were things I wanted to leave behind in Texas. The cycle of dysfunctional relationships was number 1 on that list. In a way, I have held him to a much higher standard then I have anyone else. Its not fair but I dont want to live like that anymore. Most days, it takes everything I have to not keep expecting it to all go south. The problem still remains with Dylan. He doesnt want to be there, for good reason but there really isnt any solution that doesnt threaten someone in some way.

[gotatext]

yo, im not gonna lie guys, im super drunk, so this bio is like.... completely ocpy and pasted but;.... pls plot with me..... im so excited to bring this baby here.... i feel it is the perfect place to write her and i hven’t had the chance to in so long ..... love me..... and greta........ please im so excited this is back, last time i played jack..... n willow??? i think....... maybe archie too...... dont even remember...... who i fuckin played..... but i was here...... and queer..... loud..... and proud..... god this dumb bitch needs to sleep.....

GRETA O'DRISCOLL

20. born in marfa, texas. luvs wearing gingham print dresses and cowboy boots. vert into art and pornography, and particularly the combination of the two. wants to do a PHD on gender studies and female autonomy in porn.

( kristine froseth | she / her | cisfemale ) hey, you hear ( young lady, you’re scaring me by ron gallo ) playing over on the ( rv lot ) ? that’s where ( greta o'driscoll ) lives! i heard they moved in from ( marfa, texas ) exactly ( four months ) ago. they’re very ( zealous ) but also pretty ( erratic ). maybe that’s why davie keeps calling them the ( libertine ). starlit is full of people, but this ( 20 ) year old is really going to liven things up around here! ( nora | 23 | she / her | gmt )

personality: easy-going, deceptive, manipulative, self-reliant, profound, amiable, nihilistic, self-serving, laid back, independent unmotivated, self-corrupting, charming, lazy, impulsive, alluring.

likes: art, music, philosophy, DC comics, arcade games, candyfloss, fish and chips on the beach, deep red lipstick, marijuana, dogs, Kate Moss, late-night strolls, chemistry, suspenders, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, cold coffee, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, DJ sets, magnolias.

dislikes: bananas, coffee, mental mathematics, children, misogyny, the imaginary future, literature, Wes Anderson films

muse tag

pinterest

aesthetics: a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

cliffsnotes on biography

 - she’s called greta (under witness protection), and she’s a serial dater. she’s incredibly restless and doesn’t settle. before she came to seattle, she’d lived in 8 different cities in 3 years. born into a single-parent house with two older sisters so always surrounded by women and as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention  -   every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result everyone from her past views her as a completely different person depending on when she met them.   -   she’s been involved in a series of destructive relationships because when people discover she’s not who she pretends to be she often gets explosive and defensive.  -   (tw gun) she’s now under witness protection and moved to connecticut because she shot a previous boyfriend in self-defence and his family are trying to have her done for murder, but she got tired of being moitored so is now even on the run from the police / her faked identity.  - easy to get along with (provided you don’t anger, provoke or question her too much) because she WANTS your character to be entralled by her and will do whatever it takes to win them over. she wants everyone to love her   -  big into sports. big into gender politics. big into art. does a lot of art installation pieces to do with female and queer bodies. massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune. big fan of the honey bee.

full biography

trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.

you never meant for it to happen. you’d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your bosom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out. 

lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and daredevils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.

you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.

there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.

the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six-pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.

you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three-hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty-five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.

in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wildfire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.

the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you make your name as a downtown singer while he foots the bill with pills. they have a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you live like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self-defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to vegas where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.

#starlit:intro #starlit:ooc #pls plot w me im going 2 sleep but.... will reply tomorrow #spam me with ideas i LIVE for that shit x #⥂ greta o'driscoll. ╱ musings.

[takingcourage]

The Start of Forever - Part 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Pairing: Drake x MC

Word Count: 2,387

Series Summary: The wedding has passed and the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria are free to begin their lives together away from the constraints of court. While honeymooning in Texas, they’re confronted with questions from their past that raise implications about their future. (Slight AU)

Chapter Summary: Drake and Jena spend some time alone after a difficult conversation with his mother. 

Author’s Note: Whew! Apologies for the unexpected hiatus on this story. Now that I have some free time again, I should be able to finish posting this story. I appreciate your patience through the long delay!

Tagging: @andy-loves-corgis, @carabeth, @speedyoperarascalparty

All things considered, Karen Walker had been rather more understanding than she’d expected. As Jena loaded her cereal bowl into the dishwasher, she thought back over the painstaking conversation that had ended less than an hour before.

Drake had not underestimated the effect that their news would have on his mother. On learning that her son had been given a duchy, color had drained slowly from the older woman’s face until a dull white shell was all that remained. In spite of her polite responses, the visceral reactions had been painful for all three of them.

Shortly after their previous discussion had finished, Karen had pulled Drake aside for a private word. After what she'd seen over the past eighteen hours, Jena could only hope that the woman was doing him no further damage.

She tried to convince herself that she’d done nothing but hurry along the inevitable, but guilt assailed her all the same. This certainly wasn’t the way she’d envisioned this day going. At this point, so much of their morning had been consumed by unpleasant conversation that she wondered if Drake would want to leave early for their night back in Dallas. She glanced a the stovetop clock, trying not to get her hopes up.

The quiet intonations from down the hall were at least somewhat reassuring. There had been no yelling -- of that was certain. If she was venturing to guess, she didn’t think she’d heard anything that sounded like crying either. Both seemed like signs in favor of productive conversation between mother and son.

Jena found a rag draped across the head of the faucet, dampened it, and set about clearing crumbs from the table. As she finished the final swipe across the width, she sensed a presence coming toward her.

“You don’t have to do that, Wittman.” The soft-spoken words startled out of her thoughts, despite her intuition.

“I know. But I needed something to do.” She cupped her hand underneath the cloth and shook the contents into a nearby trash can. “You doing okay?” Having rinsed the rag, she returned it to its former spot and rubbed her hands down the front of her jeans.

“Fine.” His brown eyes were trained on her, and she raised a quizzical brow as he opened and shut his mouth. Eventually, the words ventured forth. “Would you be interested in going riding? I was hoping to get the chance to show you around the ranch…”

“I’d like that a lot, actually,” she assured, still taking in his appearance.

Drake looked tired. It was evident in the exaggerated slackness of the skin around his eyes. A pang of guilt plagued her as she contrasted this with their time at the cabin. He’d been so peaceful there. After all of the stress she’d seen on that face in the past months, it sickened her to think that she’d been the cause of more.

“Good. We may as well get over to the stables. Have you ever actually saddled a horse, Wittman?” He raised his brow in challenge.

“No, but I think I’m about to learn how.” 

“Just as long as you don’t go scaring the horses. I don’t want to have to reenact that rescue from the derby.”

Jena scoffed at the slight, shaking her head in disbelief as she followed him out the front door. “You know that’s not how it happened, Walker.”

“Of course not,” he acquiesced, treating her to a half smile. She rolled her eyes and fell into step at his side, slipping her fingers into his. 

Jena had only ridden horses a few times during childhood, but she’d adjusted to the practice fairly quickly after coming to Cordonia. When she wasn’t taking day-long treks for foxhunting, she found that she actually enjoyed it very much -- especially when she was fortunate enough to have her husband’s company.

Riding around his family’s property spawned memories of exploring Valtoria with him on horseback, and she felt a pang of longing for their home. There was so much waiting for them when they returned. As much as she had enjoyed the honeymoon, some part of her was giddy at the thought of starting real life together.

Today, however, she was focused on Drake’s wellbeing. Other than the extremely thorough instructions as he’d guided her through the process of saddling the horses, he’d been fairly quiet since coming to find her in the kitchen. Jena's mind overflowed with words that could fill the silence, but nothing felt right. She breathed a grateful sigh when he chose to speak instead.

“I was pretty upset with you this morning, Wittman. I was sitting there drinking coffee and thinking that you were being unreasonable -- that you’d judged my mom too harshly. I’m not so sure anymore.”

The uncertainty in his voice halted her instinctive response. Jena breathed out slowly through her nose, biding her time in case there was more he wanted to say.

“I’ve never felt so angry with her before. She can doubt me all she wants, but doubting you -- I never thought she’d go that far. That’s a line she shouldn’t have crossed. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore...”

“For the record, I didn’t want to be right,” Jena admitted softly, grateful that they kept their horses at a relaxed pace so that she could meet his gaze. Her heart clenched at the distance in his deep brown eyes. “I just know what it’s like to defend someone who doesn’t deserve it. Finding out they’re not who you thought they were...it’s a hard pill to swallow.” She fiddled with the leather reins between her fingers, hoping that she was treading lightly enough to cause no offense.

“Your dad?” he asked simply.

Nodding, she met his eyes. The distant look gave way to a tenderness that mirrored her own worry for him, and she was struck by just how broken both of their families had been. “I wasted a lot of years making excuses for him, Drake. When I finally forgave him, it wasn’t because he’d done anything to deserve it. I just needed closure.” Drake stretched out a hand and she took it gratefully before continuing. “I don’t want you to have to go through all of that with your mom. I hope you’re able to figure things out and find a way to start over, but please don’t beat yourself up about it if you’re not.”

Her husband sighed, taking his time to respond as he turned his gaze to the horizon. “I sort of have to. I mean, dad’s not around any more. She doesn’t exactly have anyone else.”

Jena shook her head in an attempt to clear the conflicting emotions. She’d realized long ago that his protective instinct would have a propensity for getting them in trouble. She just hadn’t expected the trouble to take this form. “You always want to defend the people you care about, Drake. It’s one of the first things I noticed about you -- one of the things I love most about you too. But sometimes you have to think about protecting yourself. Sometimes that may even mean letting others protect you.”

“I don’t like to have people worrying about me.”

“We’ve been over this before…”

“I know. And sometimes having you around to worry about me is a good thing. I wouldn’t have come clean with my mom if it hadn’t been for you.”

“I hope it was the right decision.” She’d spent the past several hours second guessing her encouragement from the night before. “Did things...go okay?”

“Heh.”

She waited several moments, but he elaborated no further. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she ventured finally.

“Just that I think it’s going to take some time for her to adjust to the idea that I’m a noble and that I’m staying in Cordonia for good. But I think some part of her is proud too. Maybe someday she’ll come around to the idea that I’m not just wasting my life over there.”

“Does she really think that?” The words felt strangled as Jena worked them out of her throat. So many of her early interactions with Drake became clearer as she considered Karen’s likely influence.

He clicked his tongue to encourage the horse, but her question remained unanswered. Several paces later, he came to a sudden stop. Jena pulled the reins gently and dismounted to stand beside him in the tall grass.

“We’ll let the horses graze for a bit.”

She stroked the mare’s bony cheek and dropped the reins, putting her hands in her pockets instead. Squinting against the mid-morning sun, she followed Drake to a line of fencing nearby. Green stretched before them on every side, the light wind stirring long blades of grass into mesmerizing waves. She wondered vaguely if this was the sight that had enticed Karen to come back from Cordonia. Out here, in the warmth of late spring, it wasn’t hard to imagine the appeal that this land must have held.

Drake leaned against the nearest post, a wrinkle forming between his brows. With ease, Jena mounted the fence beside him, steadying herself with a certain hand.

Did I cross a line? Why hasn’t he answered my question? Jena hated the thought that her carelessness might have caused such distress. A week ago, she wouldn’t have been so bothered by the thought. Now, as this man’s wife, she felt some measure of responsibility to read his mind. The notion was ridiculous, but present nonetheless. Just as she was clearing her throat, he spoke.

“I’m not sure what my mother thinks anymore. She didn’t take it very well when I moved back to Cordonia. Wanted me to forge my own path instead of running back to the palace.”

“Do you ever regret it?”

“Going back?” At her nod, he continued. “I had a lot of questions at the time, but in a way, mom’s right. I’d been following Liam around for so long that it was easier to just settle back into that when I came back from the States. It took me a while to find where I belonged in all of it.  But no, I don’t regret it. Cordonia is home.”

“You’ve found your way now. And with or without the courtly graces, you’re still Drake Walker,” she beamed encouragingly. “I just wish your mom had taken the chance to get to who that man is.” A fresh sting of remorse accompanied the words, and she looped her fingers around the hand that rested beside her on the fence.

Drake interlocked his fingers with her own and lifted his face tentatively. “I think I’d like for her to get the chance to.”

Her pulse quickened at the meaning that underpinned his words. Biting her tongue, she shifted her weight toward him and took in his pensive expression.

“I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He hiked a hand through his hair. “But I’m not sure I’d ever forgive myself if I cut the relationship off completely. I’d always wonder if things could have been different. I’m not saying that I want to come out here for Christmases or anything, but--” preoccupied, he ceased speaking as she squeezed his hand. 

“I’ll support whatever you choose, Drake. I can’t say I have a very good first impression of her, but I respect how much she means to you. If I had any hope of my dad changing for the better, I’d probably make the same choice.” Her tone grew wistful at the impossible notion. “But I think we’re going to have to find a compromise. I don’t want you bending over backward to make her a part of our lives if she won’t even meet you halfway. You can’t do that to yourself, Drake.”

“Agreed.”

“So she’s going to have to understand that there are boundaries she can’t cross. It’s going to take some time for us to establish trust again.”

“Sounds fair to me,” he considered, stroking her knuckles with his thumb as he looked to her face. “She’s been through a lot, Jena. I don’t want to put her through more than she deserves.”

“I know,” she responded quickly to the flash of pain in his eyes. “But if she puts you through more than you deserve, she’ll have me to contend with.” Although her tone was light, they both knew that the threat was genuine.

He hoisted himself onto the fence beside her, dropping his hands to his sides. “I never thought I’d be so happy to get back to Valtoria, but I’m really looking forward to it.”

She offered a wry smile. “I am too. I know we’re going to try to work things out here, but I can’t wait to get back to Dallas and then home.”

“It’s the last night of our trip, Wittman. How do you want to spend it?”

“Seeing as it’s the last night of our honeymoon,” she emphasized, “I was thinking room service, hot tub, and…some drinks.”

“Now that’s a plan I can get behind.”

“I’m not going overboard though. We’ve got a day full of traveling tomorrow.”

“We’ll sleep it off on the plane.”

“Maybe you will," she joked, hopping down from the fence. “I’ll be awake for it all.”

“Even if I keep you up all night?”

Jena threw him a look over her shoulder. "That didn’t exactly work for the trip out here." He extended a hand toward her and she settled into the space between his legs, running her palms against toned thighs that were stretched taut from his heels pressing into the lower rail.

"I’ll take that as a challenge.” The glint in his eyes sent tendrils of heat through her core.

“Just keeping you on your toes, Walker.” 

Drake shook his head at her accompanying wink. 

“Ready when you are,” she announced, rising to the tips of her toes. Drake cradled her cheek in his hand and leaned into the kiss. His lips were soft and warm, heated by the morning sun. She snaked her arms around his waist and melted into him with pleasure. When she finally pulled away, it took several moments for her head to clear.

The kiss told her all she needed to know. They would make it through this.  Together. 

#playchoices #playchoices fanfiction #the royal romance #trr #drake walker #drake x mc

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to Pollapalooza, our weekly polling roundup.

Poll of the week

It’s that time of year again. Snow is falling, sleigh bells are ringing and Congress still hasn’t figured out how to fund important parts of the government. In a televised meeting with Democratic leaders at the White House on Tuesday, President Trump said he would be “proud to shut down the government for border security” if Democrats wouldn’t vote to spend $5 billion to build a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border. But that may not be a very popular stance.

According to an NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll, 57 percent of Americans think Trump should “compromise on the border wall to prevent gridlock,” while only 36 percent think he shouldn’t compromise even if that means a government shutdown.

And that reflects a larger trend — in CBS News polls that have been conducted since July 2016,1 Trump’s border wall proposal has generally been unpopular, except among Republicans:

For Republican and Democratic congressional leaders, the public relations game around government shutdowns is usually focused on trying to pin blame on the other side. After the government closed for 16 days in 2013, a Washington Post-ABC News poll found that more Americans placed responsibility for the impasse on Republicans than on President Obama. And nearly 3 in 5 Republicans said they disapproved of how their party handled the shutdown negotiations.

This time around, the prospect of a shutdown seems to have spooked some congressional Republicans. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has said that he hopes a partial shutdown can be avoided. And Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi, who is expected to be the speaker of the House in the next Congress, reportedly described Trump’s publicly expressed willingness to shut down the government as a political accomplishment.

But Democrats probably shouldn’t celebrate. Even though Americans mostly blamed Republicans in the aftermath of the 2013 shutdown, Obama arguably didn’t escape unscathed: His favorable rating dipped below his unfavorable rating for the first time in his presidency. Government shutdowns can have serious political fallout in the short run for everyone involved.

Holding up budget negotiations over a border wall may seem like a good way for Trump to maintain support from his core followers, but mixing a policy that appeals primarily to his base with a government shutdown could backfire, especially if Trump is ultimately unable to secure funding for the wall. In the new NPR/PBS News/Marist poll, 30 percent of respondents who identified themselves as Trump supporters said they thought he should compromise on the wall. And a CBS News poll from November found that 28 percent of those who favored Trump’s border wall did not believe that it was worth risking a partial government shutdown over.

There will likely be pressure on Trump from both the public and from his own party to avoid shutting down the government. If a government shutdown interrupts the holidays this year, while the political fallout might be a wash in the long run, there could be more lasting consequences for things like economic growth, scientific research and veterans benefits that might leave some people more dissatisfied and angry with government.

Other polling nuggets

A straw poll of the 2020 Democratic primary field among members of the progressive group MoveOn.org found U.S. Rep. Beto O’Rourke of Texas on top, followed by former Vice President Joe Biden, Sen. Bernie Sanders and others. Meanwhile, an Emerson College poll found O’Rourke trailing Biden and Sanders. So what do we make of this? Remember that early polls are useful as an indicator of who is likely to run in a primary election, but they don’t always tell us much about who might win.

44 percent of Americans think comedian Kevin Hart made the right decision to step down as host of next year’s Oscars ceremony, according to a Morning Consult/Hollywood Reporter poll. Twenty-six percent said he made the wrong decision. Hart bowed out after facing criticism over old tweets that contained homophobic remarks.

An analysis of the best places to work in the federal government by the Partnership for Public Service found an overall decline in morale among federal employees. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau posted a whopping 25-point decline in employee satisfaction (on a 100-point scale). The Departments of Education, State and Agriculture had smaller declines. The most improved agency was the Federal Election Commission, which had an increase of 10 points. NASA ranked as the top large federal agency, with a score of 81.

61 percent of Americans say they are concerned that they or a member of their immediate family will have to pay higher health-insurance premiums in the next few years, according to a Gallup poll. Forty-two percent said they were worried about themselves or someone in their family having to go without health insurance.

Wisconsin state lawmakers last week passed a set of bills aimed at curbing the power of newly elected Democrats, including the incoming governor, Tony Evers. According to a nationwide YouGov poll, 61 percent of registered voters said they thought that was inappropriate.

According to a Gallup poll, 23 percent of Americans said they or someone in their household had personal, credit card or financial information stolen by computer hackers in the past 12 months.

39 percent of Americans told YouGov in an online poll that they either “strongly” or “somewhat” agree that there is a “war on Christmas” happening in the U.S. 33 percent said they “strongly” or “somewhat” disagree.

The people of Madagascar will elect their next president in a runoff election on Wednesday. Two former presidents, Marc Ravalomanana and Andry Rajoelina, the latter of which overthrew the former in a military-backed coup in 2009, will be on the ballot. Polling during election campaigns is rare in Madagascar, and in September, the nation banned the publication of an opinion poll of the election, citing a threat to public order. In the first round of voting, Rajoelina won 39.2 percent of the vote, Ravalomanana won 35.4 percent and the incumbent president, who will not be in the runoff, won 8.8 percent.

Trump approval

According to FiveThirtyEight’s presidential approval tracker, 42.4 percent approve of the job Trump is doing as president, while 51.6 percent disapprove (a net approval rating of -9.2 points). At this time last week, 42.1 percent approved and 52.3 percent disapproved, for a net approval rating of -10.2 points. One month ago, Trump had an approval rating of 41.8 percent and a disapproval rating of 52.8 percent, for a net approval rating of -11.0 points.

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #Dhrumil Mehta

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )

#love exposing myself to people on the internet #hot

[abrakophile]

I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE. 

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING  (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP. 

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them? #letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 1 #long post