#we got a little bit of every Riku in here

[griffin-ktb]

KH Doodle Dump 🫶✨

I will never not be thinking of Soriku

#I draw too much and forget to post any of it I apologize #we got a little bit of every Riku in here #except little Riku :(( #I’ll get him in a post eventually #kh #soriku #kingdom hearts #kh riku #kh sora #kh xion #kh kairi #my art <3

[dreamsy990]

(video essayist voice) kingdom hearts is-

so, kh1. its been. a little while since i played. so forgive me if the game isnt exactly fresh in my mind. theres maybe gonna be errors so please bear with me im trying my best.

this is probably the kh game i have the least thoughts on, which feels weird considering its the first game in the series, but i just dont have a lot of strong opinions on it. its a pretty solid game!

starting where i normally do, the gameplay is probably the worst aspect of the game. they really thought platforming would be a fun thing in this game, but its just. not. the physics are so bad oh my god. if i ever have to jump in kh1 again itll be too soon. the difficulty is also a little bit all over the place. i played on standard (like i do with pretty much every game) and i would randomly jump from breezing through the game to trying a hundred times to fight one boss. most of the time its not the fun kind of difficult, just frustrating. the only time i can remember the difficulty being fun is the last riku fight in hollow bastion. i wish more of the game was the fun kind of hard. strangely enough, i know a lot of people struggled with the riku race and fight in the tutorial, but honestly those were easy for me? i got the fight first try, and the race second. idk, get on my level nerds i guess?

the worlds here are hit or miss. some of them (mostly the original ones, hollow bastion and traverse town specifically) are just amazing and i love them. others are. uh. lets say getting rid of the tarzan world was the best thing to come out of copyright law. also, this game is the only one where i skipped an entire world (sorry atlantica, you fucking suck). so theres that. the disney worlds are probably my least favorite aspect of the game

the story is alright! i dont have much to say about it other than i think that its mostly pretty good when i know whats going on, although both me AND one of my friends were so confused at the ending that we had to go call someone else to ask what the fuck happened and honestly i still dont really know? what the fuck is a kingdom hearts you ask? the world may never know.

this game and 2 are the only ones where maleficent is good. i miss when she was like a fun villain. she was just super into the housing market and i love that. what the fuck is she even doing in ddd? getting into bitcoin????

rikus great, i dont think i need to say that. hes such a freak and i love him. soras pretty good, shoutout to haley joel osman for doing a great job for being uh. 12??? at the time???????? hes great. i know a lot of people really like ansem sod but i just dont get the appeal? he never did anything for me. like hes fine i just didnt care about him whatsoever and anyone who says hes a better villain than like. xemnas. is wrong.

0/10 where is axel. ok but seriously uhhhhhh i give it a 7.7/10. its a solid, enjoyable game! not my favorite, but thats not to say i dislike it at all.

#doodles #sora #kh1 #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 1 #kh review #spent too long on the drawing for this lmao

[tennelleflowers]

Hey, just here to fuel your Dark Fiagra about Riku being gay and the Light.

In KH2 when Sora and Riku are in the Realm Between the portal to the Dark Margin doesn't open until Sora and Riku have the first part of their "heart to heart". He's literally being vunerable in every way and Sora just shows him patience and understanding. Then the portal opens.

Then on the Margin, Riku opens up once again. I think the reason that Riku wasn't the one to open the Door to Light was because Sora confirmed that he was happy to stay in the dark with Riku.

This part is a stretch but I think, maybe, Riku hearing Sora wistfully reading the letter may have opened the door. Or you know, Maybe it was Kairi. Riku is under the impression that Sora is the Loght because Sora is HIS light, which is why he tells Sora that the door to light was his heart.

Who knows, maybe Soras heart DID open the door, but imo, Kairis letter wasn't romantic. It doesn't even make much sense pertaining to the story.

You're so right. You want to know the funny thing tho? In the character files, there's a short story from Riku's pov about their conversation at the Dark Margin at the end of KH2. It's the same one where Riku says that he used to try to act like Sora's older brother as a kid, but doesn't think of their relationship that way anymore.

To tell you the truth, Sora...I was jealous of you.

As I sat on the dark shore next to Sora, I wondered when I began to feel that way.

Was it when Sora became a Keyblade wielder?

Or was it all the way back when we were children on the islands?

It wouldn’t be strange for me to think I was better than Sora. After all, when you’re a child, a year is a big age difference, so I played the older brother and took Sora around with me everywhere. When did that change?

And then, when it gets to the part where Kairi's letter is supposed to come in, it's just completely omitted???

“I wished I could live life the way you do. Just following my heart.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got my share of problems, too.” Sora responded, staring at the horizon.

“Like what?” I asked Sora, smiling a bit.

“Like...wanting to be like you.”

“I see.”

That made me a little sad, so I responded with as cheerful a voice as I could manage.

“Well, there is one advantage to being me..something you could never imitate.”

“Really? What is it?”

“Having you for a friend.”

Sora was surprised for a moment. Then, he exhaled a bit.

“Then, I guess...I’m okay the way I am. I’ve got something you could never imitate too.” Sora responded with a smile, and he looked off beyond the horizon, at the moon shining faintly in the sky - at the world where we would meet our end.

We both had our own things that the other couldn’t do. Our hearts, each just like the other, were both filled to the brim with happy feelings at that moment.

I was glad to have been Sora’s friend.

“Light.”

My eyes instinctively narrowed at the sight of the bright sun-like light that appeared right before us.

“The door to light...we’ll go together!”

Sora stood up and offered his hand to me.

“Yeah.”

I responded and began to walk with Sora.

LIKE? Hello? Look at this thing just directly implying that it was actually Sora and Riku's hearts opening up to each other that opened the Door to Light??? Skipping Kairi's letter entirely??? (why do they keep doing this lol just let Kairi HAVE SOMETHING sakdfljsd)

Now, like I've said before, stuff in the novels/characters files are SECONDARY canon, so it is canon that Kairi's letter in a bottle shows up and Sora reads it, and then the Door to Light appears. But with this added context I wouldn't say it's a reach that the Door to Light opening to them probably has more to do with them than Kairi's letter specifically.

#riku is the light #kingdom hearts #kh2 #character files #riku #soriku

[wh3r3sth3l0ve]

Sora x Tifa

Part 27

Part 26 below

- Riku? What are you doing here?

Sora couldn't believe his eyes. More than five years passed but his friend looked exactly the way he remembered him - tall, long blueish hair, fit and handsome.

- It seems that the roles have reversed. This time I am the one looking for you.

Certain flashbacks showed before Sora's eyes. He remembered the time when he was going from one place to another, asking every single person about him.

- Aren't you happy to see me? - Riku smiled at him.

Sora went to his friend and hugged him.

- How did you find me?

- Unversed drew me here. My Keyblade opened the gate to this world.

- Got it. I wonder why they even appeared. It's very unusual.

- Especially since Vanitas is long gone but still that’s better than Heartless.

- Um, Sora? Could you introduce me?

Tifa approached them with a question on her face.

- Sure, sorry. Riku, this is Tifa, my girlfriend. Tifa, this is my best friend, Riku.

- Nice to meet you, Sora told me about you. - she leaned her hand.

- I hope those were only good things. - Riku shaked her hand.

He looked at his friend and said:

- Girlfriend, huh? - he had doubt written on his face.

- Yeah, I'm really happy to have her.

- Do we have to talk here? Let's go to the bar, I'll make us something to drink. - Tifa proposed.

In a couple of minutes they were back at 7th Heaven.

- What would you like? - she asked Riku.

- I dunno, same thing he likes. - he pointed at Sora.

- Right away.

Sora looked at his friend.

- So you were looking for me?

- Yeah, since the first day you left. What happened?

- Didn't she tell you? - he doubted that.

- Oh, Kairi told me what happened but I want to know your perspective.

Even though Tifa was preparing their drinks, she was listening carefully. Her heart started pounding nervously when she heard Kairi’s name.

- Well, long story short, I couldn't get over the words she said to me. I had to run as far from her as I could. Also it got me amnesia, I forgot everything from before the Keyblade War.

Riku was listening with his mouth open as Sora continued.

- I've been wandering from one place to another without any particular reason. Eventually I got here and met this beauty. - he pointed his chin at Tifa. - she helped me. No, she rescued me.

- What do you mean? - his eyes were getting wider with every sentence his friend said.

- He means - Tifa put their drinks in front of him and got into the conversation. - that what Kairi did to him threw him into a deep depression and gave him anxiety attacks.

She said that a little bit too harshly. Sora was clearly embarrassed, now looking blankly at his glass.

- It took some time, patience and a lot of kindness and affection to get him back. I was really scared when I first saw him falling into panic.

- I’m really sorry to hear that. - Riku said. - Still, I don’t think it was anybody's fault.

- I don’t blame her. - Sora said quietly. - But it hurt like nothing before. It still does.

He felt an almost painful thudding in his chest. He looked at Tifa and continued:

- Thanks to you I know how to smile again. - he moved his face to Riku. - I’ll never say that she was trying to hurt me on purpose, yet she did. If it wasn’t for Tifa, I don’t think I’d make it to this day.

He shaked his head and asked:

- Enough about me. What about you? It’s been more than five years.

#fanfic #story #ff7 tifa #kh sora #cardiophilia

[helshollowhalls]

Personal Rant about the current situation

I fucking hate it here. Not Depressed Nousagi remarking that the inclusion of Millie's and Enna's info in the document from Selen's lawyer might be hinting towards them being the bullies.

Obviously, I don't know Millie in person. And it's probably better that way to be completely real for a second.

But I only have four oshis - Zentreya, Vesper, Fulgur and Millie and Millie is my kamioshi.

Vesper graduated/presumably didn't sign another contract with Cover (that's fine he's still active online so idc), Fulgur and Millie are in Niji (which currently is the equivalent of having a fucking bomb chained to your damn foot) and Zen... Zen is the only one doing okay apart from probably being really sad and shaken by Yunii's upcoming graduation.

I just... I have trouble imagining Millie bullying anyone. From all that I have seen of her, she's such a kind and well-meaning person. I get the impression that she'd rather saw off her own arm than consciously hurt anyone else. A little bit unhinged sometimes and definitely in need of a good therapist, yes, but aren't we all?

Imagining Enna or Finana bullying someone? I hate to say it but not outside the realm of possibilities. But Millie? Please say sike.

I speak from personal experience that it's so easy to slip into becoming a bully once you're being bullied yourself... and judging from Millie talking about her childhood and experiences in school she definitely didn't get off the hook without any damages and scars, but I choose to believe that she's better than me in that regard. And if it turns out to be wrong, well then it's my fault for being a fucking dumbass and assuming things about people on the internet.

I don't even know what she would gain from bullying Selen. Favor with management? What's the point. Ethyria is the unloved and sidelined middle child of the family and Niji doesn't give a damn. LazuLight is the first wave, Obsydia had Selen, Ethyria... Exists... And then immediately there's the cash cow of the English branch, Luxiem.

Luxiem is the favorite child, LazuLight the first one so they get a little more attention and before Selen got terminated Obsydia had her going for them. As for Ethyria... Nina never compared to Selen in earnings, Reimu is left to rot in a ditch, Enna is used for song promotions and the likes because she has a good voice and it's convenient and Millie tries to make the best out of her situation.

And I personally think her defending the company is for one based on her relative inexperience in the corporate vtubing scene (she was an indie before. Niji is the only corpo she's experienced so she doesn't really have anything to compare it to besides shitty minimum wage retail jobs), her choosing to believe in the best in everyone and her frustrating lack of self-esteem (which can lead to allowing others to walk all over you). She does deserve to be supported and get opportunities just like anyone in Luxiem, hell like anyone in Hololive or VShojo. She's a talented entertainer and streamer and I wish her nothing but the best.

At the end of it all, she's entitled to her own opinion and I respect that, even if I don't think her truth is the end all be all and don't agree. But if management isn't outright pounding her into the ground every three to five business days as they did with so many other livers I'm glad. I doubt all managers in Niji are assholes. Some just try to make the best of a very fucked situation. But the fact that some livers get the bare fucking minimum when the bar is the ground and Riku "Yacht" Tazumi brought a damn excavator, doesn't mean that it's okay or god forbid, good. You should do better. You need to do better. No talent deserves this treatment.

At this point everything just feels like one menhera tattling on the other - Yes, news youtubers and even myself included. Depressed Nousagi isn't really hiding the fact that he's mentally ill. I'm not going to sugarcoat this, my mental health is down the drain as well and I'm living with the consequences. This entire situation is so messed up.

Please don't harrass any of the livers. Bullying and threats aren't going to get us anywhere and in the end all of them are at the mercy of the company in regards to what they can or can't do. And everyone's situation is different. Maybe Niji is the first time they ever had this much money or a semi-stable income at all. Maybe the only other option besides Niji when it comes to getting a job is a fucking gig at Target, Starbucks or Hollister. Or social security. Maybe graduation isn't an option because being out of a job might mean the immediate loss of home, access to insurance or vital medical care and mental health care or not being able to support family and/or pets anymore.

I wish every liver the best and hope that everyone gets the help they need. And most of all, I wish for Niji to fucking rethink and improve their marketing, overall internal structure and business decisions. For the love of God.

#millie parfait #nijisanji english #nijisanji en #nijisanji #nijien #ethyria #my kamioshi #Personal rant

[system-of-a-feather]

Look I know DID doesn't give you super powers but I think it does and unlike other alters my heart is just built different (I'M JOKING)

But historically our system for the past 10 years has been like "yeah we aren't built for stamina and thats ok, Riku took a month or endurance training and could barely do 0.75 miles straight for at a rate of a 15 minute mile" and that persisted under Ray (the OG Gym nut that brought upon our Jock Days and my Personal Coach TM) with a slight but not drastic boost to stamina

And so over this past year whenever I've gone to the gym, I have this STUPID high stamina and can keep going - often far past we should when I'm on my pisser and in a rage fury, so Ray, Lucille, and Riku have hard rules to keep me in check to make sure I dont push the body too hard (rules with safety precautions, rules about regularly stopping every X time and if I want to push limits I have to regularly check my heart rate on a reliable checker to make sure I'm not going about 170 bpm, etc) and even if I am following all of those, if Riku's too close co-con they (who are the historical worst stamina main part in the system) get so spooked they annoy me into stopping far before I'm even challenged

And so today I went to the gym and like, we've been living at our parents for a bit and I'm a hyper independent "need my personal space" kind of person and so I havent had MY Personal Space beyond when I go to the gym and I was like "fuck it man, lets cancel muscle work out today and take up a fun challenge - can I take a fat SHIT on the claim that we aren't built for stamina and go for an hour straight without breaking any of the safety rules"

And god damn it man it wasn't even that hard. 1 Hour Straight, the Elliptical told me to Cool The FUCK down, a little over 5 miles, no stopping, heart rate maintained between 145-166 bpm the whole time and quickly returned to a 136 bpm about 10 seconds after stopping to just walk

Like I dunno man

DID doesn't give you super powers but god damn does dissociation do weird fucking shit cause god damn our system has *properly trained* in incremental increasing distance for stamina and endurance for months on months and at most could only do 1.5 miles in like 20 minutes before dying even at our previous peak

I'm over here easily knocking out 5 miles in an hour and still going "eh, i could have gone longer"

Idk man

IDK

You can tell the story here smh

^ This was when I started cooling down and also when I really wanted to make sure I got at least 5 miles cause 4.8 sounded lame af

#alter: xiv #gym posting #fitness #weight loss tw #not that weight loss is a goal here #but just in case #bragging #brag posting

[latremoille]

hey.... how y'all doing....

HSHQTASK059:

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

dec 2015 if my blog's archive is to be believed akjsdbgksjdgb CRAZY ABSOLUTELY CRAZY almost a full decade. jesus christ. the plotlines weren't big or that remarkable ( sry ). petty drama... THAT I LIVED FOR. i was in high school!!!! that's so crazy. now i've graduated (duh), worked, worked, worked, studied, studied, studied... my life's been really busy these past few years and it has definitely showed in my activity. i've wanted NOTHING as much as to enjoy these last moments of hshq ( bc lbr we all could feel the end coming ) but i just couldn't find the energy and i kept pushing it and now ! now hshq has closed and i have to accept that :(

which characters have you written over the years ?

gaia <3 my first baby. lykke / nike, bastiaan, gahye, iéna, sasha, calix, riku... i think someone else but i just cannot remember tbh i wouldn't have remembered riku if the blog didn't exist lmao

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

i think vivi x lykke ? writing them taught me a lot. martha FORCED me to give my best with her amazing replies and i think i really improved a lot in a short amount of time. lykke, who was such a caricature, evolved into something slightly deeper. martha ily and you are so dear to me. i've written so much with you and you've always inspired me and helped to keep my muse up <3 there's a reason why i wanted to bring iéna and that reason was u, puss och kram but that's the nostalgia speaking. i have to mention joce and ani. the friendships gaia and lykke had with ani were so important to me. i don't think i ever wrote a friendship that compared to the ones i had written with you <3 but jo................. JO JO JO getting to write with you was such a privilege !!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i could have written lisaia forever and i still regret not getting to see where niray would have gone. you always had a little spark and i hope you recognize it in yourself <3 and evy.... bitch did you think i wouldn't put you and our crazy surprise pregnancy plot here. it was wild. especially at the time because i swear it was one of the first pregnancy plots i had ever seen in a rp. and i couldn't BELIEVE it when we actually got to write it from start to finish ??? retrospectively, 9 months is nothing at hshq but at the time ??? it ???? felt ??? like ??? an ??? accomplishment ????? my teen-almost-an-adult self was shocked E!!!!!!! something about your writing always made it sooooo easy to keep things organic. i think if i had to pick just ONE thread, olykke's first outing might be it. it started a huge mess and i enjoyed their adventure from start to finish. it stands out to me <3 jude, you and i were the flaky bitches, me more than you. but where the hell would lykke be if it wasn't for johanne ? where the hell would i be if it wasn't for your exciting little replies ??? i was sooo sad when you retired anton. he was the first piece to be lost. and now we're here. and i'm sad. and i'm glad we got to meet and write together. #teamwonderbrows i'm not ending this section without thanking XEE !!!! just thinking about layla makes me emo. i feel like i know you because i know layla. idk if that sounds weird and if my opinion is so wrong. but you were always so kind and helpful and i loved throwing lykke at layla <3333

what about other people's plotlines ?

sol maturing. i think it broke me a bit when i read a reply and i realized this character isn't a girl anymore. which naturally meant that none of us were girls anymore. i also loved frelucien. i don't know why they had me so hooked but i feel like i have to mention them since they were the first to pop into my mind.

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

the 6 way thread joce mentioned skjdgbdskjgbs it was SO DUMB but i loved every second of it. a big group thread was a new concept back then so that added to the excitement. we were SOOO active, otherwise it wouldn't have worked. everyone wrote their reply in a matter of 4 hours or something. also i found it.

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

i'd add to everything. i'd spend even more time on tumblr dot com and i'd make sure i would have zero regrets!!!!!

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

hmm ? maybe some sort of an ending for bash and ariel ? idk where they would have ended up and i think i would have liked to know. but bc i hate planning and i love organic shit, i don't think i ever will skgbsdjkgb one last thread with vivi and lykke, the og lykke not the nike version. i think it would be a full circle and i would be able to get over hshq ending. or maybe i'd love to write a happy ending for lisaia. idk if it was only me but they were endgame and i would have liked to see it.

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

i cannot pinpoint one single time but i think what made hshq an absolute joy to be part of, was the rapid ims. i loved that plotting was so easy and that everyone was always so excited when there was a new idea or a new character or a new anything. i think it's exceptional that within hshq we could have INNER JOKES like loads of them. we could reference memorable one liners!!! that's brilliant and special!!!!! i rly loved chatting with you <3 i will miss it <3

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i'm already a stranger !

what else would you like to say ?

when i think of hshq, i think of the end of my teenage life and the beginning of my adult life. i've been here longer than i've been in any school. that's insane. i've had time to process this but it still feels very hard to just let hshq rest. i came and went. i was flaky towards the end ( sorry about that ), but it was so nice to know that whenever i'd get my shit together, i could just login, send a little message to the main and i'd be back to writing in a matter of hours. no one ever shamed me or made me feel bad about my poor activity and i am so thankful for that. we really grew up together and we spent so many years together crafting these amazing plotlines and touching stories. i hope all you continue writing because you all have a knack for it and the world deserves to read your writing <3 i really think my life would have been more boring without this silly little hobby. hshq was the CREAM CREAMMMM of rping. hshq helped me through a few lonely periods of my life as well when everything else but this corner of internet was changing and i wasn't keeping up with the times. hshq <3 anne 4ever thank you, and bye for now, i find it too hard to believe that we wouldn't talk again !!! i'll be checking my messages for a while so pls don't hesitate to message me <3 i'm still down to write something short if someone feels very inspired !!

#hshqtask059

[ask-the-kh-crew]

Don't know if anyone asks this yet or not, but uh, Roxas, do you ever think you'll forgive Riku for what he did in the past to both you and Xion? Like maybe not even fully forgive him, just enough to tolerate being around him if that makes any sense. If not, do you think the two of you will just fight it out here and there out of spite?

Again sorry if I made no sense ^^'

Makes a lot of sense, actually. It's something I used to think about a lot.

It's difficult for me to imagine fully getting over what happened, having everything taken away from us. Even now that we're together again, it hurts to think about the time we spent apart. And when I think about that hurt, I think about Riku.

But I also think about Xehanort, and the way he ruined the lives of so many people aside from us. The more I learn about him from the others, the more I realise how we were all just puppets or pawns to him. It was all so much bigger than me, Xion and Riku. Both of them did what they did because of DiZ and Saïx, and they only did what they did because of Xemnas and the fake Ansem. And in the end, they're the fault of Xehanort, so it always comes back to him...

Plus, if I'm gonna stay mad at Riku for trying to sacrifice me and Xion for some guy I didn't even know, I'd have to blame Xion, too. And there's no way I'd ever do that, so whenever I blame Riku I feel kinda bad. He'd do anything for Sora, in the same way I'd do anything for Xion. Speaking of Sora: when I first disappeared inside Sora's heart, I could still feel and think a little bit, and all I felt was anger. Anger at Riku and this guy he sacrificed everything in my life for. But then, I got to know him a little more, and I saw just how much light was inside him. I accepted that it really had to be him, because he was the one that could bring everyone back. And after seeing him reunite all of us, I can't help but feel like Riku knew he was gonna do that all along. He trusted him, and now I do too. He makes a good other, after all.

Anyway, Xion told me her and Riku already talked about it some time ago: the conversation lasted about an hour, and apparently most of it was just Riku apologising to her over and over. But I didn't feel like talking about it (especially not for that long) and I think he knew that, because he didn't try to talk to me one-on-one for a while. Whenever it was just the two of us, there was just a long and awkward silence until one of our friends showed up again.

But then, a couple of weeks ago, he came to my room after visiting Naminé and asked if he could ask me something. He looked kinda nervous and so I assumed he was here to apologise, but then he... asked me if I could teach him how to skateboard.

Yeah, turns out he thinks it looks pretty rad when Sora does it and he wants to impress him, so he came to me for help. For the past couple of months we've been meeting up every Thurday to practice around Market Street, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun (although it'll take a while before he can do mid-air 360s: he's not exactly a natural).

I still don't know if I can ever truly forgive him, but I don't think Riku could ever truly forgive himself either. The least we can do is to try to make the best out of the awful situation we both found ourselves in. And if we still feel some resentment for each other after that, we'll just have to do what Hayner and I always do when we're mad at each other: have a Struggle match to swing the anger out of us and then have ice cream afterwards. Works every time.

(Xion keeps trying to take pictures of me and Riku together, sometimes without us knowing. I'm not sure why and it's kinda annoying but I just let it happen atp. No photos of us skateboarding tho because "Riku always looks a little like a dork when he does it" and I don't disagree lmao)

#-Roxas #kh #kingdom hearts #kh roxas #kh riku #kh xion #kh twilight town

[oathkeeperoxas]

I posted 2,135 times in 2022

122 posts created (6%)

2,013 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@glimmerglanger

@maiseey

@thatrandombystander

@projectdestati

@twilightown

I tagged 2,133 of my posts in 2022

#fan made - 1,022 posts

#sw - 870 posts

#obi-wan - 482 posts

#codywan - 458 posts

#cody - 419 posts

#kh - 312 posts

#kairi - 146 posts

#the mandalorian - 125 posts

#sora - 122 posts

#riku - 101 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i would not be able to edit and tweak that much in the next 2 weeks unfortunately but i can daydream about finally getting this fic finished

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

codywan gang, listen up

Currently in 2022, we have uploaded 1,957 works to the codywan tag:

What does that mean? We only need 267 new codywan works to be published in December to get to 2224 works uploaded this year.

I’m incredibly impressed with the amount of content we’ve made this year - and if we reach 2224 works, that would be the cherry on top, so to speak. Let’s all get cracking!!

106 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#4

I’m excited to present the preview for what I’ve been working on with @sunflowersinheaven for the @codywanreversebang! It’s been lovely to see all the works come together with posting starting soon, and I hope you enjoy this little sneak peek of the fic too 💖

“What’s this I hear about you and Kenobi going on a date this morning?” Bly asks. Cody nearly chokes on his drink. “A what? There was no–” He clears his throat. “Obi-Wan and I attended an issue that needed resolving before anything got out of hand. When it was done we had brunch, and that’s it.” Obi-Wan had introduced him to the concept of brunch during their unexpected meal. Cody feels a little bit cocky that he’s managed to use it in a sentence already. “Brunch?” Bly squeaks, eyes going wide in shock. “Oh, by all things natborns hold holy, you’re oblivious. You’re both completely, utterly, unswervingly, oblivious.” Cody elbows him. Bly splutters, but he points a finger at Cody. “That’s not true,” Cody says, thinking about how he’d almost touched Obi-Wan’s hand earlier this week, and how he’d knocked their feet together under the table today. Obi-Wan had not been averse to those gestures – nor to the other dozens of occasions where nearly something more happened, whether he or Cody had almost initiated it. “We are not oblivious.” “Then what? You’ve decided to do the pining stage for so long because you can’t stand not to be the expert in something?” “That’s not it either.” “Then I’m confused,” Bly says, leaning forward. “You do acknowledge that you like Master Kenobi, right?” “Of course I like him,” Cody says, looking at Bly dubiously. “No!” Bly huffs. “I mean, you want to squish his little cheeks and see him in his bathrobe and have front row seats every time he wrecks someone’s shit.” Bly’s eyes have gone a little dreamy. Cody elbows him, which Bly protests loudly. “I think you’re projecting your feelings towards a certain someone onto me,” Cody says flatly. “You know what I mean!” Bly huffs. “You want to kiss him and hold him and you feel all fluttery and warm when you see him. Don’t lie to my face Cody, I’ve known you too long for that.” Cody had known what Bly meant the first time, but it’s always run to rile him. “Of course I like him,” he repeats dryly, and Bly groans. “Then what’s going on between you two? Come on, I gotta tell Aayla the gossip. Don’t leave me out here without any backup. She has a mean streak, I swear.” “Try squishing her little cheeks,” Cody suggests, and Bly launches himself. Cody grapples with him, until Bly plays dirty by tickling him in the one spot every clone is weak to. Cody grumbles and Bly laughs, letting him go. “Okay, but seriously,” Bly says. “You know he likes you too, right?” Cody looks out over the rest of the bar so he won’t have to answer. It’s complicated. He and Obi-Wan have been a lot of things to each other, and moving onto something else, something new, is big. Cody hasn’t done anything like it before, and he isn’t sure how to start. “Cody?” Bly insists. “You know, right?” 

114 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#3

Codywan Week 2022 Fic Rec List

Wow, there sure was a heap of works uploaded for @codywanweek this year! (approximately 140 on AO3, by my count) If you’re looking for somewhere to start browsing through all these awesome works, then please see the below list for some of my favourite fics from this year, and give them some love! 💖

Could We Start Again, Please? [2.1k] by @daughterofdungeonbat

Fic summary:

The war has ended, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Commander Cody have become much more serious in their relationship, and they've spent the last day moving Obi-Wan's things into Cody's new apartment. All is going well, until Cody tries to lighten the mood and misses Anakin's frantic attempts to stop him. Or- Obi-Wan has an extra lightsaber. It is not his.

Fic rec: Really loved the character voices here, and the post-war set up and pay off really works well! Has some funny and great lines too

at the horizon’s edge [2.2k] by @inkformyblood

Fic summary:

The bed is larger than Obi-Wan is used to, even now, even after sleeping in it night after night since the day after the war was declared finished. They had made do for so long on the narrow GAR-issued cots or the cramped bunks on the ships that a large bed felt like an indulgence, something to mark the official beginnings of their relationship even though they wound up curled together more often than not. On the floor, beneath the cascade of blankets, Cody’s chest rises and falls beneath Obi-Wan’s hand. There is a hitch to his breathing, an unsteadiness that only grows as Obi-Wan shifts, skating his fingers up over the cool, bare expanse. (Cody has a nightmare, and some things cannot be faced alone.)

Fic rec: emotional and soft and intimate, with some great pose and interactions between codywan

setting sun [2.4k] by @milfmisspiggy

Fic summary:

"Fuck." "You may wear that word out if you aren't careful." "I'll switch it out when something else expresses my feelings better."

Fic rec: BITING AND CHEWING THIS. Absolutely lovely and hot smut with some Tatooine codywan!

Panacea [4k] by @missypup

Fic summary:

Cody has been falling for his General for two years. Two long, war filled years. But he's been able to stay in control of his feelings by just not acknowledging them. But having to share a bed with the man he's been daydreaming about for two years makes Cody so tense Obi-Wan decides to give him a massage to help out. Obi-Wan would certainly be the death of him.

Fic rec: I am always down for codywan massages and Cody getting some love and attention, and this provides in spades! There’s also some very sweet lines here that I loved a lot

Through An Artist’s Eyes [1.1k] by @yellowisharo

Fic summary

Another pass of his charcoal over the paper to emphasize the slight curve of the bottom of the ribcage, following the path Cody's eyes take over Obi-Wan's body.

Fic rec: artist!Cody my beloved! This fic is multimedia, and the art throughout the fic adds to the atmosphere and tone of the story in a great way

A Fool’s Errand [3.1k] by @itsgoldleaf

Fic summary:

“I killed you.” “You missed.” “I never miss.” “It was never you.” “This isn’t real.” “If you believe only one thing, believe that I am here and I am with you, and that this is real.” The second worst part is his rotten luck in having his General come back from being murdered and being so nice to him about it.

Fic rec: oh my god yall the way I am not kidding when I say this one drove me crazy... the PROSE the CHARACTER the INTERACTIONS the METAPHORS. This one really does have everything!!

Fear is a disease; hope is it’s only cure [9.7k] by @nimue44

Fic summary:

“The Sith has been hunting you and he hasn’t found you,” Ahsoka said. “Please keep it that way. The underground networks were hand-fed this intel, Obi-Wan. He wants you to know. He’s laying a trap.” “Of course he is, my dear,” Obi-Wan sighed. “And he’ll already know I’m coming.” “Obi-Wan, don’t, you’re safe here” Ahsoka pleaded. “Cody wouldn’t want you to walk into a trap just for him.” “No, he wouldn’t,” Obi-Wan agreed. Cody had raised an eyebrow at more than a few of Obi-Wan’s schemes in the past. Yet despite any of his reservations about a given gambit, Cody would join Obi-Wan on the front lines every time, even when he could have led from the fleet and let Obi-Wan clean up his own messes. “But I’m afraid his sound strategic reasoning hasn’t always foiled my plans to single handedly save the day.” OR: Two years into his exile on Tatooine, Obi-Wan comes across something in the desert that sets off a chain of events that may allow Obi-Wan to finally reclaim some peace. But first he'll have to rescue a purge trooper from the grips of the Empire.

Fic rec: I am just ajkhkfjg this one is SO GOOD. How Obi-Wan thinks/feels post O66 is so rich, and his refusal to let Cody go is just so everything aaaa. Great characterisation choices here alongside excellent writing.

See the full post

144 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#2

229 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

For the touch ask prompts: Codywan and "shielding the other one with their body", please!

codywan, 780 words, post-war no order 66 AU

“Oh Force, Cody, save me.” 

Cody doesn’t hesitate. Between one breath and the next he sweeps Obi-Wan into his arms, holding him close against his chest, and turns so his back is facing the centre of the room. Obi-Wan curls up against his chest, tucking his head in close. They’re of a similar enough height that Cody can’t completely hide his partner, but they’re close enough that Obi-Wan can claim plausible deniability that he didn’t see anyone who was looking for him. 

“Who is it?” Cody mutters into his ear, feeling his hair tickle against his lips. He’s still not used to this – not to holding Obi-Wan so openly in public, nor the strange fit of the formal wear across his shoulders, or the tang of the exotic food in his mouth. But he’s putting on a straight face, because he’s the most highly ranked clone here – the highly formerly ranked. With the GAR dissolved at the end of the war, he has no military titles any more. That doesn’t stop Senators and governmental leaders and random people on the street from recognising him. The holo that had gone viral of him and Obi-Wan kissing at the announcement of the war’s end, and Cody had only cursed his distinctive facial scar ever since. For once, he’d be more than happy to blend in among the anonymity of his brothers. 

“The Senator from Rhydills,” Obi-Wan replies, barely loud enough that Cody can hear him. “He’s coming over – to the dance floor, quickly.” 

Cody swings Obi-Wan out among the couples that are twirling around each other, and his mouth twitches in a smile as he hears an annoyed sigh. Obi-Wan takes the lead easily, and Cody focuses on remembering the steps that he had insisted that Obi-Wan teach him the day before. He hadn’t expected to dance, but he likes to account for all possibilities, and it’s paying off now. 

“What did he want to talk about?” Cody asks, wondering if Obi-Wan is trying to put the conversation off for a minute or for forever. 

“His planet has recently undergone a civil war between the two main religions that make up the majority of the population,” Obi-Wan answers. 

“While our war was ongoing?” Cody asks, a little startled. 

“Of course,” Obi-Wan snorts. “It never rains, my dear – it pours. But anyhow, he’s intent on resettling as many troopers as possible on his planet. The male population was near destroyed in the fighting, and they’re likely to have a population crisis in the next twenty years if he doesn’t make up for it somehow.” 

“With clones?” Cody asks. “But won’t that just give him a new population crisis in fifty years, when everyone’s children are related to each other?” 

“A point that I have tried to convey to him three times in the last week,” Obi-Wan sighs. “I think he is very fixated on the current moment. A regiment has resettled on Rhydills, but I think he was hoping for one of the armies instead.” 

Cody takes a moment to digest that. In the months since the war ended, there have been many offers from different planets to settle Cody’s brothers. Their contribution to the galaxy notwithstanding, Cody knows that the speed at which they learn, their adaptability, endurance, and tenaciousness of the clones in all areas, not only war, has made them attractive immigrants. Few had been willing to stay on Coruscant once the breadth of the galaxy was made available to them, though they are in the process of setting up a robust online presence to stay connected even as they scatter physically. One tenth of all of his brothers, on one planet? There’s no possibility of that happening. 

“So instead of telling him no for a fourth time, you’d prefer to dance with me?” Cody asks. He would love to kiss him, but even if their relationship is public now, he still shies away from any displays that draw attention to it. 

“If I were to list the activities I would prefer to avoid and instead dance with you, we would be here next week, my dear,” Obi-Wan says, eyes crinkling as he smiles. 

Cody holds his silence as they turn around the floor, though he can feel the heat in his cheeks as they move. “I would be here until next month,” he finally says, and Obi-Wan laughs. 

“Well, I shall not attempt to argue with that. If we’re both so invested in our time here, perhaps we should make good use of it?” 

“Yes,” Cody agrees, and pays no attention to Senators or politics or the rest of the galaxy – not when he has everything he needs right here, in his arms. 

288 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #the touch prompt being my number one post... we all yearning huh #anyway. this really was the year of codywan!!! #mine #tumblr #also i only posted 2 untagged posts this year sdfjkkdjjkf tagging paying off i see....

[forevermagik]

AtPverse Daily (ish)

TO THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTED!

AtPverse daily (ish) sign up link >here<!

Drop an email so I know where to send the fics and maybe a name/url/handle/etc if it's different than the email.

The goal is to send out a chapter or two (no more than 5k words at a time) every few days or so, keeping largely to the schedule rar is keeping with theirs.

Though, to be clear, for those of you signing up for both AtPverse and FtPverse daily, we'd be alternating days so that you're not getting 10k in your inboxes all at once!

More info below the cut!

I gave more info on the individual fics in this post here.

Essentially, AtPverse started as one fic, "All the Pieces Lie Where They Fell" which was my "what I thought could happen in KH3." I started writing it in 2011. It then got VERY BIG! It ended up with two sequels, a prequel, and some bonus content.

Additionally, AtPverse became intrinsically linked with my sibling @rarmaster's FtPverse when we were jokingly talking about how my Namine was the Namine the Riku Replica remembered and thus my universe was the universe he left.

Canonically, AtPverse diverges before KH3D.

LOGISTICS

Email list was decided upon when rar was running logistics about the easiest way to send this stuff out and the Dracula Daily method turned out to be the best one!

Just AtPverse will net you ~3-5k in your inbox every few days or so. I've got about a million words (give or take) to send out so it'll take about 2 years. I say "a chapter or two" because early chapters were short. So some emails may be three? I haven't figured out my exact chapter groupings. But if I did a chapter at a time... we're looking at a 5 year commitment.

Signing up for the pair of AtPverse and FtPverse is a lot! But we'll be alternating days. There's some fun crossovers. That said, you don't have to do both.

You'll get a short little author's note at the beginning for ~connection~ but other than that, it's just fanfic delivered to your inbox! I'll be making a dreamwidth to back stuff up to for archival purposes. You can comment via the email, the dreamwidth, or on ao3, where every fic is also located. (Minus the complete version of Remnants, which I am still in the process of porting over.) (This also requires you to have an ao3 account because I turned off guest commenting.) (I think dreamwidth also requires an account though so...)

~

AtPverse is a story about wanting to live. About wanting to save your friends/save the world. It's about fighting to live.

But sometimes that's not easy.

CONTENT WARNINGS

Violence on the page. It's technically canon-typical violence for Kingdom Hearts, but I toe the line a bit to the darker side. There are fight scenes. There is death.

There is major character death in that villains die. Given how Kingdom Hearts and the Organization works, not everyone formerly in the Organization lives. I tried to give satisfying arcs.

Also, in the prequel, there are deaths that overlap with what happens in Final Fantasy games.

There is no rape or sexual assault/abuse. Honestly, as far as sexual content, there is about none of it. There's some kissing. It's written very PG in that regard.

SPOILERY CONTENT WARNINGS

Axel and Riku are both self-depricating but it's largely in line with what already existed in the KH-universe at the time.

There are many discussions of whether or not killing Xehanort also means killing Terra. The characters, while hoping they can do this in a way that means Terra lives, recognize that they might not get everything they want.

It is straight up mentioned that Larxene physically and emotionally abused the Riku Replica and some of the content that runs in both FtPverse and AtPverse deals with this. It is also shown on-screen in parts.

#atpverse daily #ftpverse daily #kh #kingdom hearts

[last-flight-of-fancy]

now i’m no translator and speak only english, but i’ve spent a lot time reading stuff from people who know far more than me and im sitting here thinking about AITSU again, so. i wanna ramble a bit about how i tend to divide kh’s translation flubs into two broad categories:

1: not their fault

     - AITSU is the big one imo, in terms of Really Important Hints that just don’t work in english. in the time (2005-ish, so not exactly the most progressive of times in video games) and under the constraints they were under (gotta match those lip flaps AND make it sound like a real sentance real people would say), i really don’t think there was a way to convey the intent and tone naturally. it’s incredibly unfortunate, but sometimes thems the breaks. honestly bless all the bilinguals out there for bringing the knowledge to us english-only speakers despite that.

      - Oathkeeper. i truly cannot blame them for deciding ‘oathkeeper’ sounds better than ‘promisekeeper’, and given it was kh1 they had no precedent yet for how important word choice would end up being (why i also give a pass for the whole ‘keyblade master’ vs ‘keyblade champion’ thing in kh1). also no one can predict nomura. how would they possibly know that 20 years later he would decide to make the otherwise minute difference between promises and oath’s a significant point lol

2. ya’ll need to check your biases

    -all of base kh3 :/

    -okay for real tho. making kairi’s offer of the paopu sound like a marraige proposal, turning riku and hercule’s ‘taisetsu no hito’ parallel into ‘what’s most precious’ (sora) and ‘person i love most’ (megara) respectively, and the one that makes me froth with anger, ‘you make me feel strong, kairi’ instead of ‘you’re strong, kairi’

    -like are you fucking serious kairi has by far the shortest stick in terms of character arcs already!! and you decided to!! remove what little bit she got and make it about sora instead?????? WHY

we know why and it’s the painful bias of hetnorm

    -also xehanorts motivations, which imo aren’t particularly clear even in jp given every fan translation i’ve read leaves me just kinda like. sure okay i guess, gets even more muddied and inconsistent in eng, but i care less about that lol

obviously there’s tons other examples, that is simply the nature of language and translation, but these are the ones that live rent free in my brain.

#caught between 'i am not an expert in this subject and thus should stay in my lane' #versus 'but i've read a LOT about this from multiple sources and i do feel like i know enough to have an opinion' #idk regardless have my ramblings im just a nerd on the internet #stop talking to yourself flight

[yzafre]

when I drop like a cannonball (from cloud nine) | Interlude: Axel

AO3

< First | < Previous

  Roxas was gone, and Axel -

wasn’t handling it well.

  It went like this: Ever since Roxas left the Organization, disappearing into the night, something within him had been aching.

Why did they leave, why did they always leave him behind, please, stop running, just a little bit longer, I’ll take care of it, stay with me, why can’t you just stay –

When he failed to bring Roxas back, when he realized that all the memories of their time together – the only thing a Nobody had to hold onto – were erased from his friend’s mind, he felt hollower than he had since the early days of the Organization, when the wounds of becoming an Nobody were still fresh.

When he battled Roxas, who now remembered, who pulled out two Keyblades and two pairs of wings, Axel felt as if every wound cut deep beneath his skin.

When he failed to defeat Roxas, failed at his half-formed plan to grab him and go, when he woke again to the knowledge that Roxas was gone now, rejoined with Sora, he started wondering if he lost another vital organ for how gutted he felt, pressure building and building till he screamed just to let it out, pressure popping from his spine with a lurch.

When he stood and caught his reflection in a nearby window, when he saw the ragged ashy-brown wings stretching from his back, mangled and bleeding but real, Axel laughed, and laughed, and laughed until he choked on his tears, like he’d wanted to for weeks, because oh.

Of course.

He didn’t fully understand, not really, because who was their third? For all his and Saïx’s history, he’d quite firmly shut the door on that possibility.

A half-formed memory, faint enough to be a dream – keep your mouth shut – and the cavernous pit inside of him that he can now name as bitterness, resentment, seemed so much deeper than before –

But if not Saïx, if not Isa, then who?  Was it Sora, pulled into a bond with them because his wings were inside of Roxas?  But no, something about that didn’t sit quite right.  Well, it didn’t matter, not for now.  All that mattered was getting Roxas back - and screw the Organization.  What was left for him, there?  The promise of a heart that his wings said he no longer needed?  Saïx and the past that had died years ago?  No.

Calm settled over him, the familiar chill of an assassin’s calculation.  Axel was going to get his Flight-mate back, no matter what it took.

  He stumbled out into the sunlight, silently joining Riku and Naminé on Sunset Terrace just in time to watch the Keyblade Hero’s train trundle off into the distance.

“Guess that’s that,” he sighed, leaning heavily against the fencing and watching Riku from the corner of his eyes, “Are you happy now?   After all, you got exactly what you wanted.”

Riku didn’t deign to look at him, instead staring out after the train, “Let’s go.”

Axel scoffed, “Go where?  It’s not like we have homes to return to.  We don’t exist, remember?”

“Perhaps,” Naminé cut in, and she really didn’t look good, did she?   Haggard and worn, darkness eating her from the inside out, “But… there is someplace I want to go.  Things I need to do.”

“Same here,” Axel said, mind spinning, considering how to play this. He had seeping wings, and a broken heart, and nothing left if he stopped here, “So, you think you might let us go?  I know you’re here to get rid of us, but.”

Naminé’s kept her head angled down at her sketchbook, but her gaze peered up through her lashes at Riku – no shock, just resignation, something a bit like determination, like challenge, “So, he's finally decided to dispose of me?”

Riku flinched back, looked away.  The coat could hide a lot, but if you knew where to look you could see the signs of his uncomfortable shifting, “Go.”

“You sure about this?” Axel wondered.  What a sudden turn of heart, from the guy that tore through the darkness, that disposed of Roxas so easily to restore the Hero.

“I owe you both.”

Owed?  Him?  Was the little dark-walker actually feeling some regret?  It didn’t matter, of course, Roxas was still gone, but.

Also, what was up with Riku’s voice?  Did that growth-spurt of his let him skip the cracking voice phase as well?

“For what?” Naminé asked, seemingly equally baffled.

“Castle Oblivion.  You helped us.”

Axel huffed, “Heh.  You don’t have to tell me twice.”

He stepped through a dark corridor, moving from sunshine to sunshine, gazing out over the town below from the clock tower view as an idea began to build in his mind.  Beside him, another set of footsteps landed lightly as Naminé came through behind him.

“Hitching a ride?” he asked lightly, “I thought you could make your own pathways.”

Naminé just watched him silently.  Well, fair enough.  They stood in silence, lingering as the sun slipped from red to purple to deep, deep blue, stars beginning to pepper the sky.  Finally, Namine shifted beside him.

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

Axel breathed, let the seething ball of bitterness and anger twisting in his chest take him, pain spilling up and out to form weeping wings. Looking back over his shoulder, he grinned at the gutted look of horror, fear, and guilt that spilled over her face.

“I’m going to get my Flight back.”

He summoned a dark corridor with a wave of his hand, stepping through and closing it behind him without looking back.  It was a bit late, too late to keep their promise, but -

It was time for a trip to the beach.

  Axel had a plan.

It went like this: recreate as much as he could of Roxas’s birth, follow Roxas’s heart when it emerged, snag the re-born Nobody –

 Did he even count as a Nobody with a heart?  Did Axel?  How much of a heart did you need to be human? –

and get outta dodge while the heroes of light were figuring out what to do with the suddenly heartless-Sora.  Whatever they did last time, presumably.

The first step was important – he couldn’t just go in hot and swarm the Hero with heartless.  He had to be careful about this.  See, while Axel was surprised he was able to develop a heart, half-formed as it was, he wasn’t particularly shocked that Xemnas lied about it.

Axel had a rather unique job in the Organization, and he paid attention.  So, Axel knew things about the creation of Nobodies others in the Organization didn’t.  Well, maybe the scientists figured it out, but if they did, they certainly didn’t tell anyone before they were eliminated.

‘Were eliminated’, ha.  What a nice way to put it.

The point was, Axel knew Xemnas lied about the nature of their existence before.  Nobodies were made when the shell left behind when a heartless was created had a strong enough will to continue on.  To retain their humanoid form as a Nobody, then, those of the Organization must have an even greater will, above all others.  Or so Xemnas claimed.

Well, that was a nice thought, but most of them were made from a very particular, very catastrophic experiment failure.  The Keyblade wielder’s nobody came from the center of a truly phenomenal amount of shenaniganry, and as for the last remaining few members, well –

If humanoid Nobodies occurred naturally, Axel figured he wouldn’t have been handed a special weapon when he was sent to ensure they became Nobodies.

The point was, Axel had some experience with this, and Axel knew there were very specific circumstances surrounding the creation of a greater Nobody.  The circumstances surrounding Roxas were more specific than most.

Admittedly, most of those circumstances would take far too much effort to re-create on short notice.  Hollow Bastion was under too much observation, and with the rebuilding efforts it brought up too much baggage that he would like to avoid, thanks.  Likewise, kidnapping all the princesses of heart would take too long, and bring far too much heat down on his head besides.

But one Princess, especially one so deeply connected to Sora?  Now, that was doable.

  After briefly slipping back into the World that Never Was, stealing a weapon, a tool he hadn’t used in years, Axel opened a corridor to the Keyblade wielder’s home world.  He found Kairi on the sands of the beach, staring out at the sky.

“Waiting for someone?” he asked, stepping up lightly beside her.

She blinked, seemingly coming to herself, off-balance as she looked up at him, “Yes.  Although, I’m starting to think… maybe waiting isn’t good enough.”

“My thoughts exactly!  If you have a dream, don’t wait.  Act.” He grinned, quickly dialing it down – no, too much, too big, too many teeth, gotta keep it low-key – as he put his hands in his pockets and leaned in, just slightly.

“We’ve got something in common, Kairi.  You and I both miss someone we care about,” he lifted his face into a bland smile, huffed a single laugh, friendly, commiserating, “Hey, I feel like we’re friends already.”

Instead of relaxing, she froze, eyeing him cautiously from the corner of her eyes, “Who are you?”

Hm, this wasn’t going as smoothly as he hoped.  Where did he misstep?  He waved a hand, seemingly nonchalant, motioning the dusks on stand-by to begin creeping closer, “The name’s Axel, got it memorized?  I happen to be an acquaintance of Sora.  Why don’t we go see him?”

Kairi turned to face him, and he waited for the bite, the excitement of seeing her friend, but instead she looked wary, even angry, as she stepping back, fists clenched, “How do you know I’m waiting for Sora?   How do you know my name?”

Ah.  He’d gotten ahead of himself - impatient, sloppy.  He’d never had that problem without a heart; how inconvenient.  Now things were getting complicated.  That’s alright, it would all be worth it, in the end.

“Tsk.  This could have been so easy,” he sighed, signaling the dusks to spring up, surrounding her, “The offer was genuine, you know?  I really am going to take you to Sora, no matter what.”

“No!” A dark corridor formed behind Kairi, Naminé barreling out to stand in front of Kairi, arms spread wide, “You can’t!”

“Naminé,” Axel scowled, “Interfering again?  I thought you, of all people, would understand.”

“But this isn’t right!” she said, turning to Kairi and offering her hand, “Please, we have to go.”

“But,” Kairi hesitated, eyes flickering over to Axel, and for a moment he thought his hook would work anyways, “Is Sora –“

“Sora’s fine,” Naminé said, “He’s with people who are looking after him.  But we can’t let people like the Organization use you against him.  You’ll see him again, I promise, but please!”

She offered her hand again, more insistently, and as Axel saw Kairi crumbling, he scowled, summoning his chakrams in a flicker of fire.

One heartbeat, it fell into his hand.

Two heartbeats, Kairi took Naminé’s.

A third, and the dusks converged as he sent his chakram flying.

Four, and they vanished into the dark corridor as his weapon hit the sand.

Damn, it just couldn’t be easy.

  Another good skill for an assassin was tracking.

It went like this: most didn’t realize, but if you got to a corridor just after it closed you could trace its origin.  The problem was that it was time consuming, and by the time you managed it your target would no longer be at the landing point.  If you completed several jumps after, you could make a trail long enough that it would fade before your pursuer reached the end.

Still, Naminé was fairly new to making corridors, and with the state she was in, he doubted she wanted to make more jumps than she had to.   That was the danger of traveling the Dark without proper gear, and it worked to his advantage.  With a little bit of handiwork, he ripped the corridor back open, retracing her steps across the darkness to step out into blinding white walls.

Castle Oblivion.

  Searching for anything in Castle Oblivion was a royal pain.  Axel should know, he’d been up and down the floors more times than he could count.  Thirteen floors, and near as many in the basement, not to mention the twists and turns of the hidden stairwells; it was like looking for a needle in haystack, and the Castle hadn’t even given all its secrets up.

But Axel was an expert – the expert, in this place – and he found it, finally, the barely noticeable energy behind the door.  Hiding in a memory room was dangerous, given their inherently temporary nature, but if anyone could sustain one it would be Naminé, with her powers.  Besides, this was the girl who’d been walking the Darkness without protection for near on a year; dangerous wasn’t exactly going to stop her.

Axel summoned a corridor, slipping through a passage to the other side of the door to find a dimly lit room, a near-perfect replicant of Vexen’s lab.  Sagging bookcases lined every wall, cluttered with textbooks and equipment.  A long table stretched down the center, cluttered with texts and stacks of notes, haphazard in a way the scientist would never have allowed.  The walkway on either side was crowded with various machines – printers, a fan, some kind scanner he’d seen Vexen use once to take readings.  On the far wall, two large, cylindrical chambers rose to the ceiling, both filled with pulsing liquid.  Each contained a floating silhouette, the one on the left illuminated to show a perfect copy of Riku – or, as Axel suspected grimly, his replica.

At the foot of the table, two girls sat huddled together.

“There you are, Kairi, Naminé,” Axel drawled.  Both girls jumped to their feet, whirling to face him with identical looks of alarm.  It was remarkable, really.  If it wasn’t for the clothes, the hair, it was like looking at twins.  He smirked, “I should have known you would choose here to hide.  Couldn’t resist returning home?”

“Axel.”

“Gotta admit, you’ve got guts, Kairi – running right into the Darkness with a complete stranger.  But you’ll be coming with me, now.”

“Axel, you can’t do this,” Naminé said, hand on Kairi’s arm as she nudged her slowly back and around the table, “I understand how this hurts, better than anyone, but – he’s gone.  You have to let go.”

“Like you did?” Axel questioned, head tilting to the replica floating in the vat.

Naminé’s flinched back, glancing up at him before shaking her head, “Maybe not, but I didn’t kill anyone to –“

“Didn’t you?” he cut her off, the words falling heavily between them.  He paused, a deeper truth itching at him, begging to be remember, revealed, but it stayed just out of reach.  He shrugged, head rolling slowly to the side as he watched her through narrowed eyes, “You wanted Sora back, and you deemed Roxas an acceptable sacrifice.  I’m just doing the same.”

Naminé’s eyes slipped closed, “I understand.  But, I’m sure you understand why I can’t just let you do this, either.”

Awareness prickled up the back of Axel’s neck, and he lurched forward just as she spun back, hand slamming onto the top the fan.  It clicked on with a whir, spinning into full blast, sending hundreds of pages flying into the air and into Axel’s face as he scrambled across the table.  By the time he managed to make it through the impromptu smokescreen, they were gone.

  Tracking them quickly became tedious.

It went like this: when he first stepped onto the rocky patch of land beneath a starry sky, the sea crashing all around, dampening the ground, the air, he thought he was in a known, a memory gone by catching up to him –

I can fly, and boom, huh?

– But that wasn’t quite right, the landforms weren’t quite familiar.  He shook it off, striding forward into the world.

He found them patching together a hasty shelter, scattered supplies piled under the leaky roof.  He called for dusks to attend him, a few showing up with soft pops.  Hm.  Less than he would like, but doable.   He sent them circling closer, pale shadows against the sand, as he carefully paced forward.

A dusk slid over a pile of coconuts in its path.  Axel’s breath caught as they wavered, shuddered, then fell.  The girls’ heads snapped to the side and the nobodies froze, caught out.  Hissing in frustrating, Axel jumped into action, summoning a chakram and sending it spinning forward in a single snap of his wrist.  He lunged after it, aiming to grab Kairi after she was knocked out, but Naminé moved, and his weapon was flung off course in a shimmer of lilac lights.

Axel slammed to a halt, his follow-up attack blocked by the same force, the recoil shivering up his limbs.  Time froze, shock dripping over him as Naminé stared back at him from behind the ghostly wings curved around her in protection.

Axel stared back, watching as the spectral forms, ones she’d used so naturally, so familiarly, fade away.  He’d been astounded by his own wings, but she didn’t even seem surprised.  Why – ?

For a breath, maybe two, she seemed confused at his pause, before slowly her eyes flooded with realization, with guilt.

“You knew,” he realized.  It sunk in further, bubbling heat searing his inside, flickering out through his skin, igniting the air around him, “You knew!”

Fire erupted around them, sparkling on the sands, nibbling at their shelter, grass lighting aflame.  Wings ripped from his back, screaming-aching-longing, and he advanced.  Horror painted Kairi’s face, Naminé shifted into grim determination, and he seethed.

The flames grew, shadows lengthened, and in all the chaos, they slipped away.

  Axel had forgotten how truly overpowering emotions could be.

It went like this: Axel stalked the worlds, fury in his every step as he tracked the two girls.

She knew.

Every part of him shook, a constant humming beneath his skin.  He felt like his body was on fire, even as ice howled through the hollow ache in his chest, cold as any blizzard.

She knew.

The ease with which she used her spectral wings, there was no way she’d never manifested them before.  No way she didn’t know they existed.  Wings were supposed to be an impossibility for Nobodies, his own shook Axel to the core, and yet –

  She knew.

It was one thing, when they had simply made a Nobody disappear.  He hated it, hated the way they discarded of Roxas so easily, denied his life, the memories that were so precious to Axel.  But Nobodies didn’t exist, so he could understand the logic from a certain point of view, wiping away the shadow to restore the somebody, but –

She knew.

She knew they could have wings, knew they could be more, and she did it anyway. It stung again, fresh, the way they dismissed Roxas completely, all he was, all they were, thrown away for the sake of the Keyblade wielder, and –

She knew!

He moved through the worlds in a blur, unaware of anything but the path to his quarry.  Finally, finally, he found them, the world around him snapping into focus.  Purple ground, a wide sky, rubble all around them – the remains of Radiant Garden.  No, Hollow Bastion, they were calling it now.  Unease turned in his stomach, but he shoved it down, drowning it in the seething ball of rage in his stomach.

This time, when he summoned the dusks, he made sure they sprung up between the two girls.  No need to have Naminé getting in his way again.

“Kairi!” Naminé called, reaching out only to flinch back as a dusk reared up in her face.

“Naminé!” Kairi called back, twisting in place, trying to keep all the enemies in sight.

“You know, not many can evade me for so long,” he said, stalking towards them as the dusks circled closer, closer.  Kairi turned to face him, glaring back in defiance, and he scoffed, “But I’m afraid your little protector’s revealed her last dark secret.  This time, you’ll be coming with me.”

At his command, a dusk leapt.  Kairi cringed back, hands up in a futile block.  For a moment Axel almost saw something -  a flash, a light, glowing near her hands as Naminé flinched across from her – before a blur of black darted forward, destroying the nobody in a single strike.

“Riku,” Naminé breathed, slumping in relief even as Kairi went rigid, “Riku, he’s trying to turn Sora into a heartless, to recreate Roxas’s birth.”

Riku’s head turned to Axel beneath the black hood, and Axel growled in frustration.  Behind Riku, Naminé pulled Kairi away despite her stuttered protests, ripping open another corridor and sending them away.  Axel stepped after them but drew up short as Riku summoned his Keyblade pointedly.

“So that’s how it’s going to be,” he sighed, summoning his chakram.

Riku wasn’t an easy fight.  As much as he hated to admit it, as much as he was holding his own, Axel wasn’t sure he could take him down.   Still, he thought as he sliced a long cut up the other’s arm, he had no intention of making it easy.

“I’m starting to regret letting you live,” Riku rumbled, retreating for the moment.

“Ha; well, I did wonder,” Axel said, hefting a chakram over his shoulder, “Still, bit too late to take it back now.”

Riku stared him down – contemplatively?  Disdainfully?  With that hood up, who knew?  “It’s over,” he said, “Roxas is back where he’s supposed to be.  You need to let him go.”

“You know, Naminé said the same thing.  ‘Let him go.’  Gotta say, you really are a bunch of hypocrites,” the lighter voice replied, pacing backwards, “After all, I’m just doing whatever it takes to get my friend back.  Just like you.”

The blow landed, Riku flinching, however minutely, and Axel took the chance to jump back, escaping through a corridor of his own.  He’d wasted enough time.

  It was much harder to track someone without a trail.

It went like this: He walked through world after world, with no clues.  When the fifth world in a row left him in the middle of a dense jungle, no clues in sight, Axel took a moment to stand and seethe.  The wildlife continued to murmur around him, wind brushing through the light leaves as frogs croaked, monkeys chittered, and birds called from above.  Summoning his chakram, he began cutting his way through the underbrush.  Sparks flew at each wild swing.

Finally, the forest began to thin out, jungle fading to savannah.   Unfortunately, the underbrush also changed to patches of thick, thorny bushes that caught on the bottom of his coat, tearing at the fabric.   Swearing under his breath, he whacked insistently at the branches, trying to jerk free.  He cut his eyes to the side at a rustle of the bush next to him.

The branches quivered, a freshly fallen mouse impaled on its thorns, face forever frozen in fear in death.  A bird flitted down, alighting carefully on the vine next to it.  When it noticed him, it froze.   Crouching low, it flicked its beak between him and its prey, all innocent surprise – oh my, how did this happen?  Axel scowled at it, unimpressed.

Don’t give me that, you know what you were doing.

Another rustle, further away, caught his attention.  He snapped his head to the side, tracking it, as the bird startled and flew away, kill wasted.  Axel’s eyes caught on something bigger stalking towards him, fangs flashing in the dying light.  Right, time to go.  He doubted the girls were here, anyways.

  Finally – finally – he found them.  Or he over-heard rumor of them, a couple kids in a walking bathtub giggling gleefully about two girls in a lab, and their plans to play a prank on them.  Axel made his way through town, knocking briskly on the door.  When the man in the wheelchair opened the door, he pulled on his most charming smile.

“Hello, I’m looking for two girls that might have come through.  Are they here?”

“Hm?  Oh, the girls that Sally brought home?  Here to pick them up, are you?  Good, good.  Don’t need any distractions here,” the doctor mumbled, wheeling out of the way and waving at a set or rickety stairs in the back, “Just up there, make it quick.”

Axel climbed the stairs quickly.  He could hear voices murmuring behind the door, coming to an abrupt halt when he knocked.  After a moment, the door creaked open hesitantly, a woman made of patch-work parts peering up at him.

“I’m looking for –“ There was a loud clattering, then a slamming sound, walls shuddering.  He pushed past the lady, ignoring her startled cry as she slammed into the wall and rushing into the next room.  A chair had been upturned, falling from the table, obviously done up for tea, and the window shutters were swinging.  Three long strides brought him to the window, where he caught two figures disappearing into the street below.

Axel leaped, landing heavily on the ground before sprinting after them.  They turned the corner, and he followed, catching a flash of pink disappearing into a portal.  He lunged, falling through right as it winked out of existence behind him.  Scrambling forward, he managed to catch the exit rift before it closed fully, tearing it back open and stepping through into a cool, damp cave.

  Axel chased after the girls, following the echoing sound of footsteps through the caves and across narrow ledges.  Finally, he spotted two shadows cast on the walls, unmoving.  Looks like they had reached a dead end.  Slowing his pace to a casual saunter, he took a moment to regain his breath before striding forward.

“There you are, Kairi!” he called tauntingly, turning the corner, “Thought you could – Naminé?!”

Oh.  What was it he said earlier?  Like looking at identical twins?  With the hair tucked away like that, the outfits switched, it was impossible to tell the difference.

Clever, clever little witch.

“Kairi?” And, of course, the second figure wasn’t Kairi, but the Keyblade wielder himself.  Blue eyes met his and Axel’s heart stopped, breath catching as he couldn’t help but lean in because oh, oh, he missed that look, that face, but –

The moment broke, that expression twisting to something unfamiliar, wrong, as the hero whipped back to Naminé, who only smiled slyly, “I’ll just leave Axel to you.  Okay, Sora?”

“You - !” Axel jerked forward as she summoned a corridor around her. This could’ve been the perfect chance, but without the Princess of Heart it was too risky.  He needed to get the Princess, he needed to follow Naminé, he –

Sora stepped in front of him, dark, familiar wings spread wide, catching in the light.  He barely noticed the portal snapping closed, too caught up in the tearing, ripping, pounding of his heart, Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, because how dare he, those wings didn’t belong to him, the usurper.

“Fine,” he snarled, summoning his chakrams with a pillar of flames, letting his wings explode out, screaming-bleeding-aching, “You want a fight?  Then let’s dance.”

He didn’t give the hero a moment to prepare, flooding the arena with fire and slamming into him, again and again, the burning in his blood screaming.  He couldn’t kill him, he needed him alive to get Roxas out, but the longer he had to look at that face the more he wanted to scream.

At some point the hero’s irritating friends joined the fight, and he had to start dodging the slam of a shield and bursts of magic.  As he bore down on the hero, he felt a burst of chill approaching from behind.  He landed sloppily, pivoting and flinging up a gout of flame to deflect.  The two collided in a burst of steam, a rush of water flying through the mist to ram across his face like a wall, flames guttering out around him.

He spluttered as his hair plastered itself against his head, his neck, spilling into his eyes as the room descended into sudden silence. As he wiped the water from his face, wrinkling his nose against the burn and sting in his nose, there was a snort, then a sudden peal of laughter, and Axel couldn’t breathe.

He knew that sound, that voice.  He watched, heart squeezing, eyes burning, as blue eyes peered up at him before slipping shut, nose wrinkling as tears of laughter beaded against squished cheeks.  It was too much, he tried to drag in a breath, but it hitched, shuttered, everything aching as his wings drip-drip-dripped feathers, drooping behind him.

Something within him tightened, released.  He really was there.   Roxas was still in there, he hadn’t disappeared, a fact he wasn’t even sure of until now, though he wouldn’t admit it to himself.

“You – “ he started, before his throat tightened, choking him.  He closed his eyes, so, so tired, and turned away, “I’ve wasted enough time here – it’s not like I can finish this without her.  Roxas, Sora… I’ll see you later.”

With a wave of his hand, Darkness swallowed him.

  He moved through the Darkness mindlessly, cutting a path with no real idea of where he was going.  When his feet landed, soft sunlight fell across his face, wind whispering along his cheek as the horizon stretched out before him.  Behind him, the large hands of a clock tick-tick-ticked away.

Axel collapsed into his seat, feat dangling over the drop, the spot beside him horribly silent.  When he set out to get Roxas back, he didn’t think it would be this hard.  Kidnap one kid, stab another, get his Flight-mate back in time for dinner.  But no, it had all gone wrong.

How did this happen?

He buried his face in his hands, tangling his fingers in his hair as he breathed through the aching of his chest, the tightening of his throat.  He couldn’t stop.  He had to get Roxas back, he wouldn’t let them win.  There had to be a way.

He leaned heavily on his knees, watching the streets below as the sun drifted its way through the skies.  The eb-and-flow of the crowds, passengers coming and going, was familiar, comforting.  The distant market area buzzed with activity, an amorphous crowd milling about.   Every now and then, a loud cheer would ring out from the sandlot, muted by distance.  Someone must have started up an impromptu tournament.

Eventually, his eyes caught on three kids coming up the steps to the tram square below, a group of friends Roxas liked to watch.  Two more kids followed behind them.  When he could make them out, he froze.  It couldn’t be that easy.

But it was.  Kairi, and Naminé, following right behind them.  An impossible coincidence, delivered right into his lap.

A wave of his hand, and he fell back through a corridor to step into the plaza below.  Most didn’t notice him, too caught up in the conversation, but he saw the way Naminé stiffened, turning to meet his stare over her shoulder.

She was pale – paler than he’d ever seen, the sun turning her skin nearly translucent, sickly purple spreading beneath her skin like a bruise.  The same tint had spread through her hair, blending with the blonde to turn it a near-desaturated gray.  She’d traded clothes back with Kairi, and her dingy red hood wasn’t doing her any favors.  The way she was going, there was no way she’d be able to run forever.

“Naminé, you don’t look so good.  All that time in the Darkness finally catching up to you?”

Kairi turned with a gasp, flinching back and setting the other kids on high alert, rallying around her.

“Who’s this guy?  You know him, Kairi?” the blonde asked, glaring up at him.

“He’s the guy I’ve been running from, the one that tried to trick me into going with him.”

Axel sighed, “Really, so dramatic.  It wasn’t a trick – I said I’d take you to see Sora, and I meant it.  I still do.”

“And use me to hurt Sora?  No!”

“Axel, please,” Naminé cut in, stepping between him and the others, “This has to end.”

“You’re right, it does,” Axel asked, “And it will end with Roxas back here with me, just like he’s supposed to be.”

Naminé sighed, eyes soft, pitying, “Roxas was never supposed to exist at all.”

“Well, neither were you, but I don’t see you joining hands with your Somebody and disappearing into the light,” Axel snapped.  Hypocrites, all of them. Naminé flinched back, Kairi cutting her a sharp look of confusion, and he tilted his head, delicious realization cutting through him, “Oh, didn’t she tell you?  Well, I guess I’ll let you in on the secret, then.  See, Naminé’ here is a Nobody, too.”

“Naminé?”

“I – it’s different,” Naminé protested.

“Well, I’ll give her that,” Axel said, “Not sure it’s better though.  But now I’m wondering what else she didn’t tell you.  Like that she’s the reason Sora was missing for a year.”

“Wh-what?”

Axel watched as they turned in on themselves, Kairi flinching back from Naminé’s outstretched hand, hurt growing on the Nobody’s face.  It was all the opening he needed.  He lunged forward, sending Naminé slumping to the ground with a single strike to the neck.  A twist, and he gained a tight hold on Kairi’s arm, dragging her in.

Finally.

“Hey!  Let go of her!”

The kids the girls were with lunged forward in a pathetic attempt to protect her.  So easy to deflect – a side-step here, an extended leg there, the swing of an elbow – it was just sad to watch.  The Princess continued struggling against his grip, shrieking in protest.  This would be so much easier if she would just shut up and calm down.

No matter.  He summoned a corridor, and they were off.

  He settled in back at Hollow Bastion.

It went like this: While he didn’t pay too much attention, drowning in rage as he was, Axel had noticed on his last visit that there was an inordinate amount of heartless in the world.  Something like that was bound to draw in the Keyblade wielder, eventually.  After dragging her away from the center of the budding civilization, he found an abandoned house, common enough in the wreckage, and threw her inside, instructing a group of twitching dusks to circle around her.

“Can’t have you escaping again; you understand,” he said.

“I understand that you’re crazy,” she snapped, “There’s no way you’ll get away with this!”

“Trust me, I’ve gotten away with much worse.”

He watched as one of the dusks twisted close and she shied back briefly before rallying, snarling up at him, “Even if you could defeat Sora, even if Riku didn’t stop you, you took us to a city!  You think people won’t notice you kidnapping me?”

“People barely lived in this part of town before, they’re definitely not going to think of fixing it up any time soon.  No one will see,” he rolled his eyes.  That seemed to distract her, brow furrowing as the frustration banked.

“You,” she started, measuring the words out, “You’re from here?”

He didn’t like the way she was eyeing him consideringly.  He moved to the window, giving a light shrug, peering out distractedly, “Ah.   Something like that.”

“Oh,” she said.  He wasn’t sure what about that caught her attention, but at least it made her be quiet.

“I think… I am, too.”

Or not.  He swallowed down a sigh, staring pointedly out the window. Maybe if he just if he just ignored her?  She started up again, and this time he couldn’t contain his sigh of frustration.

“I don’t remember much, before the Destiny Islands, but something about this place is familiar.  Especially when I look at the Castle,” she trailed off for a moment, and he could hear her shifting, “It scares me.  The castle… screams?”

She hesitated for a moment, brow winkling, before shaking her head, “That can’t be right, I must be misremembering it.  My memories of that time are really fuzzy.”

“Hah,” the wry laugh dropped from him without consent, bitterness curling up in his heart, “No, you got that one right.”

He regretted it immediately, feeling her attention heavy on his shoulders, “What do you mean?”

He ignored her.  Right, no talking to the prisoner – it just encouraged her.  He wouldn’t be making that mistake again.  She still pressed, for a little bit, but eventually she seemed to get the message, descending into blessed silence.

  Hours later, as the sun tilted into afternoon sunlight, Kairi spoke up again.

“What was he like?”

“Hm?”

“Your Flight-mate – the one you want to bring back.  What was he like?”

It hit with a pang, her acknowledgement of their relationship, and Axel blinked to full awareness, turning to her in confusion, “Why do you ask?”

“You’re trying to turn Sora into a heartless to get him back. Can’t I be curious about the guy you’re willing to go so far for?”

“You got me there,” he sighed, “What do you wanna know?”

“Well… how did you meet?”

Axel snorted in amusement, “I got assigned to baby-sit him.”

“What?”

“Look, because of Sora’s whole – weirdness, when we picked Roxas up, he didn’t know anything. Left to his own devices he probably would have walked into a wall, so Saïx had me put the kid through his paces.  Honestly, I’d almost given up him, but…”

“But?” Kairi asked, eyes trained on him, and he couldn’t help the smile tugging at him, the small flicker of warmth in his chest.

“He suddenly revealed a sense of humor.  It was a pretty basic joke, admittedly, but with how dry it was, it just came out of nowhere!  Made me curious.”

It was strange, now, to think of those early days.  He could almost remember – empty eyes, vacant expression – but then it was overwritten with bright grins and warm stares and the soft comfort in fading sunlight, laughter in the air.

“Seriously, you’d never think it of him.  Roxas was so good, cared so much – more than should be possible for a Nobody – but he could turn around and be downright mean sometimes, the brat.  I remember this one time, here I am just casually discussing our co-workers, and the two of them just start absolutely dragging Demyx out of nowhere and –“

“The two of them?” Kairi cut in, bright, curious eyes, and he jerked to a halt, choking on his next breath, “You mean, your third?  Where are they?”

“I mean – the two of us.  She – he –” Axel cut off, a sharp pain cutting through his head, his heart.

“Axel?”

Axel waved a hand, breathing through the spikes as the pain faded to leave an ache in his chest, a pounding in his temple.  Stars, but he missed him.

 Them?

“We were friends,” he continued gruffly, “We met up, and laughed, and talked about our days.  We cared about each other.  Normal stuff, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Kairi stirred, seemingly dissatisfied, but thankfully thought better of asking again.  Axel let himself slip away, time loosing meaning as he fell into the thrall of his memories.

  “You said you’re from here,” Kairi asked later, as day slipped into night, “How’d you end up with the Organization?”

She really wasn’t going to stop, was she?  Well, at least it passed the time.

“Half the Organization’s from here, actually, it would be more of a surprise if I didn’t end up with them,” he replied, straightening up and wincing as his body protested.

“From here?  That many?”

Axel smiled wryly, hands spread wide, “Yeah, this was ground zero.  The castle, specifically, your memories were spot on there.”

“What were you doing in the castle?”

“We worked there.”

“Really?  Even though you knew it was scary?”

“Well, that was why, actually, we,” Axel paused, the memory forming slowly, settling heavy in his chest.  He didn’t like thinking on it, spent years without bringing up their original goal, their failed plan, but these days it felt like it haunted him.

“There was a girl, trapped in the castle,” he said, barely more than a whisper, words bubbling up slowly from the deep well of memories he’d long pushed down, down, down, “We… wanted to save her.”

Swallowing, he looked back at Kairi, huddled against the wall and scruffy from weeks of running.  Thin beams of light fell on her from the window, illuminating the ring of bruises around her arm where he’d dragged her from Twilight Town.  Wary, watery blue eyes watched him from beneath her fringe, curious, determined, even as fear lingered.

What have we become, he’d thought of Saïx, once, of his friend’s focus on capturing Naminé, of his own actions at Castle Oblivion, of Saïx’s treatment of- of –

Axel slumped against the wall, eyes slipping closed as he sighed, deep and long.  What have I become, he wondered, the dissonance cracking open in his mind like a jagged wound, dripping down to his bleeding heart.

Hypocrites, every one of us.

“I just want to save him, you know” he said, unable to meet her eyes, words spilling out, “After everything, after everyone I’ve lost, I just want to be able to keep him, to not lose Roxas, too.  I couldn’t bare it.”

“You don’t want to forget about him,” Kairi said slowly, picking the words out carefully, “You can’t.”

Head low, he sketched his gaze to the side, and his breath caught.  She stared at him with wide eyes, sympathy and kindness falling off her as she uncurled slightly, hand hovering like it wanted to reach out, and stars, these kids.  Too good, all of them.

He scrubbed his hand over his face, gritting his teeth as something bitter and vicious thrashed in his chest, breath hitching, “Everyone was so ready to throw him away, like he meant nothing.  Just a tool or a – a missing part.  I’m the only person that cares, if I give up, if I stop trying, then – “

He hissed in frustration, giving the wall a sharp kick before stalking over to the window, leaning on it heavily.  What had he become, but also – how could he stop?

“I have to get him back,” he said, explained, begged her to understand, “I have to.  And look, it’s not like Sora even has to stay a heartless!  You got him back before, didn’t you?  Whatever you did before, I’m not going to stop you from doing it again.  Everyone gets what they want!  Isn’t that better?”

“Is it?” she challenged, curling back up.  He turned away, so he didn’t have to see the way her eyes looked so sad.

  Kairi slept through the night – fitfully, tossing and turning, but quiet, not asking any more biting, clawing questions.  Axel sat, back pressed against the wall as he sought to find that void in his mind where time and the world slipped away, unable to escape as memories hunted him.

When morning light slipped in, Axel came back to awareness to a low grumble.  He paused, and a moment later it happened again, centered around the now-awake Kairi.

“What was that?”

“I’m hungry,” she snapped, brushing her hair back and tugging through the snarls, “I haven’t eaten since you kidnapped me yesterday.”

“Hungry.  Right,” he said, blinking slowly, “You need to eat, when you’re a Somebody.”

“You don’t?” she asked, incredulous, and he shrugged.

“I mean, I can.  It’s nice.  But I’m not going to die without it.”

“That’s – “ Kairi’s scowled, nose wrinkling, “Well, I will.  And I’m hungry.”

  That was how Axel found himself going grocery shopping for the first time in years.

It went like this: He tied Kairi up, before he went.  The dusks were nice and all, but at this point he wouldn’t put it past her to get past them, without him there to keep her in line.  Satisfied she wouldn’t escape during the time it took to run his errand, he set out.

He made it to the shops just as they opened, the streets thankfully empty.  The last thing he needed was to be spotted by any locals in-the-know and detained.  There was no telling how long his luck would last, though, so he needed to make this quick.

He found himself baffled as he browsed the shelf – what did he even get?  Bread seemed safe, he remembered that from being a kid.   Sandwiches?  Peanut butter and jelly, that was it, he thought, shrugging off the nagging memories, two kids barreling into a bright kitchen, warm smiles greeting them.  If she was hungry, she was probably thirsty, too, so he knocked a package of water bottles into the basket.

There was a freezer, on the way to the front, familiar pale blue bars inside.  McDuck Ice Cream – Returning Flavor! The sign proclaimed, and it – he shouldn’t – they weren’t –

He added the ice cream to his basket, hurrying to the front and checking out quickly

Shopping done, Axel paused on the steps of the shop, shuffling through the bag as he passed a habitual eye over the street.  The morning crowds were spilling out, now, people hustling to start their day.  His eyes skimmed over a shock of dark blue hair ducking at the edge of the crowd and he did a double-take, heart stopping.

Zexion?

No.  Impossible.  But – he stepped into an alley, through a dark corridor, into the side street he’d seen the figure disappear into.   Nothing, no one.

Of course.  Of course not.  Zexion was dead, Axel had –

A lot had happened, at Castle Oblivion.  There was the whole thing with Naminé and the Replica, of course, the way they orbited each other, their inevitable tragedy.  When he thought on those weeks with what might be regret, later, they were usually what came to mind.  The other Organization members, they were just a job, but –

Vexen was the only one he killed with his own hands, and he couldn’t really feel bad about it, even now.  He was a brilliant mind, the lead scientist, second only to Ansem the Wise and Xemnas’ – Xehanort’s – magnetic charisma.  He was the genius behind the machines that cracked open their hearts.  He was the main reason they ended up like this.

Marluxia, Larxene, well, they really were traitors.  Ignore the sting of their origins, his first knife in their back, and they really shouldn’t have expected they would get away with it.

Lexaeus he had no hand in at all.

But Zexion, that, well –

The thing was, Zexion, Ienzo, was young.  Younger than him and Isa, even, and they had just been children trying to play hero, when everything fell apart.  They had been almost-friends, once, the three kids underfoot as the adults worked.  Then they lost their hearts, and Axel couldn’t even keep his first friendship alive, let alone –

The thing was, the others deserved what came for them, under a certain light, but if anyone could have been considered innocent in the catastrophe that was the Organization, it would have been Zexion.

Axel killed him anyways.

He leaned heavily against the near-by wall, hand pressed across his face.  Zexion, he – no matter how Axel tried, he couldn’t quite remember him clearly, how he used to look.  Every attempt was over-written with the last time he’d seen him, plastered to the wall in terror, dark hand around this throat, eyes forever frozen wide in death.

Sorry, Zexion.  You just know too much.

It wasn’t even part of his orders – from Xemnas or Saïx.  Saïx might have appreciated It, if he read between the lines, twisted his head just right, but there was no way to know, not when his old friend never told him anything.  A desperate effort to control the board, hold all the cards, to get Saïx to just –

And it didn’t even matter; everything fell apart anyways.  His stomach turned.

How did this happen?

He drew in a long, deep breath, picked up his bag, and continued on.

  When Axel opened the door to his temporary hideout, he found two girls and no dusks.

Kairi and Naminé froze, staring at him with wide eyes.  The Nobody was behind her Somebody, working at the knots holding Kairi in place.

He should be frustrated, angry.  He knew he should be mad that she was getting in his way again, but when he reached for the darkness that had carried him this far, he found only emptiness.  Where there should be something, nothing – a situation he was unfortunately familiar with.

“Naminé,” he said, dropping the groceries and reaching over to pull her away, “How nice of you to drop in.”

He tied her up as well, ignoring her protests.  Left the hands free, though.  If he was feeding one of them he might as well feed the other; even if she summoned a corridor, it’s not like she could go through it if she couldn’t move.

“Food,” he said blankly, taking out the bread, the toppings, the ice cream, “Sandwiches, water.”

The two girls stared as he placed all the ingredients in front of them.

“Axel,” Kairi said slowly, “How are we supposed to spread the peanut butter.”

He stopped, squinting down at the jars.  Right.  Right, you needed a knife, didn’t you?  Or a spoon.  Breathing in sharply through his nose, he pressed at his temple and counted down slowly, “Just bread then.”

They ate in silence, Naminé glaring at him as Kairi watched with an odd look on her face.  When they were done, he passed out the ice cream, ignoring the way Kairi’s face twisted even further.

“Why’d you get three of them?” she asked.

“What?” he muttered, pretending to be absorbed in unwrapping his treat.

“You didn’t know I would be here,” Naminé backed her Somebody up, thoughtfully sounding out her words, “Why did you buy three bars?”

“I – what?  I don’t know, I just -” he cut off, head snapping to the side.

“Axel – “ Kairi protested.

“Shh.”

“But -!”

“Quiet!” He insisted, staring at the door.  There was something – not quite a sound, more a feeling.  Someone was here.  He moved carefully, burning through the ropes holding Naminé and grabbing her by the hood to guide her closer to Kairi.

“Going somewhere?”

Ah.  Shit.  Axel turned to his once-friend.  The blue-haired nobody’s face was calm, serene almost, except for the tick at the corner of his jaw – Saïx was pissed.

“Saïx.”

“Axel,” he said, eyes – once deep blue as an ocean, now pale, pale, pale, empty and chilling – trailing over the room, the two girls held captive, “You have been busy.  But I’m afraid the Organization can’t allow you to continue with your plans.”

Axel tilted his head, all nonchalance, “Plans?  I don’t you know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you?  You forget: the Organization has ears everywhere.” Dusks seeped from the floor, surrounding Saïx and twitching in agitation.

“Ah.” Little snitches.

“Traitors are to be eliminated.  Normally, that would be your job, but,” Saïx tilted his head, “Here we are.”

“Here we are,” Axel agreed, grin more a bearing of teeth than a smile.

“Still, perhaps all is not lost.  The Princess of Heart, and the missing Witch; they could certainly be of use to us,” Saïx said, “Come with me.  There will have to be punishment for your… indiscretion, but your betrayal might, eventually, be forgiven.”

“That’s nice, but I’m not really looking to return to my old position.  I’ve found I’m better off on my own.”

Saïx’s jaw twitched, the tiniest flinch, before the corners of his eyes tightened.  He tilted his chin up, eyes blazing, “Then you choose destruction.”

Right.  Time to go.

Axel swept a hand out, summoning first a wall of flame, then a corridor.  Sparks flew as Saïx summoned his weapon and leapt through the flames.  Burning through the rope around Kairi, Axel grabbed her hood and tightened his grip on Naminé, shoving both girls through the rift before leaping after them.

Close it close it close it close it. The rip slowly slipped shut behind them as he clawed forward to make an exit.  The rift shuddered, their entrance tearing open once more as Saïx chased after them.  Someone shrieked as the world tumbled, Saïx forced his way in, Naminé and Axel both blindly ripping an opening, too many holes in the same place, the realm-between wearing thin.

The exit opened like a black hole, sending him tumbling out amidst screams, another body crashing to the ground beside him.  He levered himself up, ready to face off against Saïx, only to catch a flash of red hair.  Kairi – she must have gotten separated from Naminé, fell through his corridor instead.

For a moment their eyes met in shock, before snapping around to track at a crashing sound in the distance.  It was dark out, despite it being morning where they just left.  If he squinted, he could just barely see movement coming through the trees.  A flash of a long blade, and several long moments, then trees toppled, the shadow moving ever closer.

He cursed, scrambling to his feet and pulling Kairi up with him, shoving her behind him as Saïx entered the clearing.  He paused, taking in their rumpled state.

“I see Naminé has escaped.  No matter, now that we have her trail, we’ll find her soon enough.  The Princess will be more than enough, for now,” Saïx met Axel’s eyes, hand reaching out, “Give me the girl, Axel, and I’ll let you survive.”

“Give her to you?  What for?” Axel stalled, letting his eyes trail absently over the area, “I’ve seen the state of Kingdom Hearts, it looks like all your plans are coming to fruition soon.  If the hero’s doing so well, what do you need her for?”

“It’s true, the Keyblade wielder is freeing hearts at a phenomenal rate, but it never hurts to have insurance.  At any rate, we can’t have her running around, upsetting the playing field.  Better she be in our hands.”

Axel watched him, throat tight.  Saïx’s face was cold, empty – pieces on a chessboard, that was all he really saw anymore.  Was he displeased Axel left because of the failure of their old promise, or because he lost his Knight from the board?  Did he care at all?

“How did this happen, Saïx?” he asked, begged, pleaded, “How did we go from wanting to rescue a girl to locking them in towers?”

Saïx raised one thin brow, “You’re the one who kidnapped the Princess.”

“I was going to give her back.  Somehow, I doubt you have the same intentions with her – or with Naminé, for that matter.”

“You certainly didn’t have these complaints when you assisted with keeping the Witch captive at Castle Oblivion.”

“Well, maybe I did,” Axel snapped, “But I was following your orders.”

Saïx scoffed, “Are you trying to pin your choices on me?  Don’t kid yourself; you knew what you were doing.”

Axel flinched.  He wanted to protest, to scream that this was never what he wanted, but –

“Well,” he said, chest heavy, “You always did say I was a slow learner.  But I get there eventually.”

Saïx’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t be foolish; there’s nowhere to run.  Now that we know where you are, we’ve flooded the corridors with nobodies with explicit orders to take you down.  They’re impassible to you.”

“Then I’ll just have to get creative.  Isn’t that what I do best?”

Axel snapped his fingers, flames spring up under his control – and then he let them go.  Immediately, they roared, igniting the foliage all around them, a forest fire spreading in the space of heartbeats.   Twisting, he grabbed Kairi’s wrist, pulling her along as he darted further into the forest.  He could feel her stumbling, trying to keep up with his long-legged pace, but they didn’t have time to slow down.

When he judged the smoke a good enough distance away, he pulled her around into the shadow of a large rock formation, crouching down as he caught his breath, trying to plan his next move.  Kairi shivered where he gripped her shoulders.  She looked up at him, eyes wide and terrified, flinching down as a roar and a loud crack echoed from the direction they’d come from.

Please, Axel.  You’ve got to help me.

Dragging in a deep breath through the spike of pain in his head, he rummaged through his pockets till his hand hit metal.

“Here,” he said, thrusting the weapon into her hands, “that won’t distract him for long.”

“What?  What is this?”

He couldn’t stop to think about it.  Couldn’t hesitate, or he’d flinch, second guess.  Instead, he summoned his chakrams, tracking the sounds of Saïx’s approach, answering mindlessly.

“It’s – well, it’s what I was going to use to turn Sora into a heartless.  Makes a clean split between the heart and the body.  Not sure what it will do too a Nobody, but hey, I figure at the least it’s sharp.  Worst comes to worse, you should still be able to stab someone with it.  Keep running.  I’ll hold him off, best I can.”

“Why are you –“ she protested, her words cut off as Saïx smashed through the tree-line, sending wood-chips flying as he advanced, eyes blazing with the power of the moon.

“Don’t ask, just go, now!” he snapped, launching forward to block Saïx’s forward sweep with a chakram.

Maybe she hesitated, maybe she left immediately – Axel couldn’t tell, too consumed with keeping up with Saïx’s relentless attack.  He hadn’t seen Saïx in action in years, but evidently, he hadn’t let himself get rusty.  His claymore dug gouges in the earth, toppled trees at a glancing blow.  Axel couldn’t afford to let a single one land.  He fell into the dance, all flash and distraction, darting in for a critical blow whenever possible, but he could feel himself slowing.

He was so tired.

He wasn’t fast enough, and Saïx’s next sweep took out a knee, sending him stumbling into retreat.  Saïx approached slowly, menacingly.

“I spoke to the Keyblade wielder,” he said, “He said that you had wings.”

“Did he now?” Axel drawled.

“Is it true?”

Axel huffed, struggling back to his feet, “I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”

Saïx flinched, whole body tensing, finally, finally a break in his constant composure.  Victory sat cold and hollow in Axel’s chest.

“Fine.  If you won’t tell me, I’ll just have to find out myself.”

What?

Saïx blurred forward, three fast strikes ruining Axel’s regained footing, before a harsh kick sent him reeling back, where his foot met nothing but air.  He cursed himself as the wind whistled past him - he lost track of the environment, didn’t see the edge of the cliff, stupid, stupid.  He couldn’t afford to take this fall.

Stars, this was going to hurt.

He snapped his wings out, breathing through the pain of aching-broken-missyou. It wasn’t a graceful recovery, incomplete wings sending him spiraling, unable to catch air, but it was enough that when he hit ground it only knocked the wind out of him, rather than breaking bones.  He barely managed to get his feet back under him before Saïx was stepping out of a wave of darkness.

“So, it is true,” he said softly, “Your betrayal is truly complete.  Why?  I don’t understand; you threw away what was real to chase after illusions and ghosts.”

“Funny,” Axel coughed, “That’s not how I would put it.”

“And how would you put it?”

Axel laughed bitterly, sending his once-friend an empty, feral grin, “I shed the ghosts of my past to claim what was real.”

In the dark, he watched as the claymore trembled before stilling, serenity falling across Saïx like an avalanche, “Then you are a fool.   And soon you will be nothing.”

A glow began building around Saïx, soft, at first, but growing brighter and brighter, illuminating his eyes and - oh.  Oh, it was dark out.

The moon was up.

Shit.

Saïx went super-nova, aura pulsing out with a violent roar as gleaming yellow eclipsed his eyes.  In the next moment he flashed forward, swinging wildly against Axel’s desperate block, sending him skidding back.  The next blow made him stumble, the next broke his guard, opening him to a sweeping strike to the side.  The pain sent him reeling, and he barely managed to stop the next swing from caving in his face, instead sending him flying into a near-by tree, the truck splintering with the force of it.

He coughed as he hit the ground, back and chest and lungs aching as he desperately tried to draw in breath, Saïx slowly advancing in a blaze of fury.  Axel staggered to his feet, feeling at the wound in his side – bleeding openly, not good – and he –

Ran.

Saïx pursued relentlessly, cutting him off at every turn.  It was all Axel could do to dodge, and he wasn’t always successful.  Finally, in a last-ditch effort, he summoned a gout of flame on the surrounding plant life, the blistering heat singeing his skin but creating a wall of smoke that granted him just a bit of space, a bit of time to keep running, to get away.

His vision was fading in and out, every movement purely will and instinct as his strength faded.  Small hands brushed his arm, pulling him up, pulling him along.  He blinked the shadows and blood from his eyes – and when did he get a head-wound? – trying to force his vision to focus on the girl guiding him along.  No, no – what was she doing here?  He gave a wordless protest, tugging fruitlessly against her grip.  Saïx was on a warpath, he had to keep her safe, he had to, he couldn’t let them take her again.

He was so tired.

“Again?” the voice buzzed against his ears, blurry, familiar, “I don’t - Just hang on, we’ll get you out of here.”

“The one time I wanted you to run,” he slurred, words dripping from him thoughtlessly, dredged up from some unseen well, “This had to be the one time you didn’t?”

“What, you wanted me to leave you to him?”

He sighed fondly, sadly.  It was so her, but now look where they were, dirty and damaged, no way out.  He twisted his head to look at her, her face blurring in and out of focus.  There was red in her hair. He reached up to card his fingers through the strands, looking for the tangle of blood, trying to get it out – strange, why was it so long?   “Why you gotta give me so much trouble?”

“Axel?” her voice was high, tremulous, confused.  Right, that wasn’t fair.  This was his fault, wasn’t it?  Why they were so angry, why they left, this was all on him.

“Sorry,” he breathed, because she had to know, she had to, “Wanted to protect you, hold it off, just a bit longer.  Thought I could fix it.   Should’ve just… told you.  Sorry, ‘m sorry.”

He stumbled, tumbling toward the ground before his fall was stopped by a pair of trembling arms.  She pushed up under him, trying to take his weight – she was always so small, they both were.  All that brilliance in a tiny package.  Still, he did his best to stumble forward, one foot in front of the other.  Behind them he could hear the crashing sound of Saïx’s claymore smashing through the undergrowth, screams echoing with berserker rage.  He was catching up to them.

Axel’s foot slipped on the next step, and his tumbling figure took them both to the floor.  Her sharp yelp pierced his ears, even more than the sudden stabbing in his side, wound ripping wider.  Axel blinked dazedly, but the spots in his vision refused to clear.  There was a rushing sound in his ears, drowning out all else.  A tall, dark figure stormed into the clearing, looming over the small light.  She backed away but could do nothing to stall his advance.  The tall figure reached down, grabbing the light and dragging her to her feet.

He made – a word, a noise, he wasn’t sure, couldn’t hear past the ringing in his ears.  Blazing yellow eyes snapped to him, searing him through.

He couldn’t take her, he wanted to destroy her, always had, what did he mean, why –

A sword point hovered in front of his face.  It shook.

“Do not get in our way again.”

The dark figure turned, summoning a path of shadows, and he wheezed, clawing at the dirt, trying to reach her.  No, no, not again, he couldn’t lose her again.  He reached out with a shaking hand, to no avail.  They were consumed by a well of darkness, and soon the black found him as well.

  Axel lost Kairi, and he knew he had to tell Sora.

It went like this: he woke in ashes, surrounded by the remains of a charred forest, embers still flickering beneath the blackened crust.

It was over, he realized.  Saïx would take Kairi to the World that Never Was, and there was no way he could get past all of the Organization to retrieve her.  Even if he could, he’d given Kairi the weapon, the one thing that would ensure Roxas returned correctly, and as much as it ached, opened a howling pit inside him, as much as he hated it, he –

Couldn’t quite regret it.  Not truly.

Coughing weakly, he staggered to his feet, wearily opening a corridor.  The passage was crawling with Nobodies which sprung into aggression at the sight of him, tearing at him until he managed to rip open an exit and stumble through to the hide-away in Hollow Bastion.   His plans may lie in ruin at his own hand, but the truth remained: Sora would return to Hollow Bastion, the growing horde of heartless ensured it.

Groaning, he sank to the ground, head tipped back against the wall.   He patched his wounds, as best he could.  He waited.  Time slipped past, slow and thick, until the world rumbled.  He stood.  The hero should be here now.

He waited, watching the battle absently until the hero reached the end, a moment of quiet he could insert himself into.  He explained the Organization’s plan, laying it out, shrugging, posturing, going through the motions.

Sora just wanted Kairi back, just wanted to save her.

That was something Axel couldn’t give him.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t – “  Power flared, the light of the moon blazing into existence.  Shit.

He tried to move, to get out of the way, but everything hurt, he was so tired.  Saïx’s claymore slammed into him with a loud crack.

Oh, that was a rib, he thought as he flew through the air, That’s not good.

He landed harshly, pain spiking through the fog in his mind, knocking the breath from his lungs.  Gasping, he tried to push back up, but there was an awful scraping sensation in his chest, and he collapsed again, lungs seizing in a wracking cough.

Saïx’s gaze speared into him, iris and pupil lost in a solid wall of blazing golden condemnation.  He snarled in return and slammed his hand into the ground, summoning a corridor beneath him. He made it short, just back to his abandoned hide-out, trying to avoid aggravating his ribs as the dusks snapped and snarled at his heels.

There, he collapsed, exhaustion taking him out at the knees.  There. The hero knew now – maybe Axel didn’t finish explaining, but surely, he’d figure it out from there.  That was enough.

He breathed, carefully cradling his ribs as he stared blankly ahead. The floor was cold against his cheek, dusk scratching against his skin.  Sunlight filtered in through the corner where the ceiling had crumbled away.  Dust-motes floated through the beams of light.

He should sleep.  Get rest, recover before his next mission.   Whatever that was.  There was no Organization, and he’d abandoned his plan to get Roxas back, but he could, he could –

His breath hitched.  He tried to drag in another breath, but his throat tightened, forcing the air out with a high-pitched whine.  His eyes burned.

He could what?  There was nothing.  Roxas was gone, beyond his reach.  Saïx fully intended to kill him, the final, rotted bridge between them burned away.

It was over.

He laughed, digging his hands into his hair.  Of course, it was over.  He’d killed it, slowly but surely.  Unwilling to let go of his secrets, his control, driving Roxas away.  And Saïx, stars, they’d been dead for years, hadn’t they, clinging to the dead husk of a memory.

He curled into himself, heart keening, bleeding feathers sprouting, folding around him.  He was so tired.

He slept.

  Time slipped, sun and shadows coming and going.  Sometimes he slept, others he simply – drifted.  He wasn’t sure how long he laid there before a rumbling sound distracted him.  Blinking slowly, he let his eyes scan the room.  The rumbling came again, and he brought his hand to his stomach, feeling vibration within.

Was he…hungry?

Stiffly, he sat up, staring at the door.  He’d not been hungry, not since becoming a Nobody.  How strange.

He should eat.

Pushing to his feet, he stepped out into the streets, squinting against the sunlight.  He wandered blindly through the streets.  There were shops, stores, plenty of options, but nothing pulled him in.  The tint of the sky, the shimmer of lights falling from the clouds, once familiar to him, ached.  He didn’t want to be here anymore.

Summoning a chakram, he opened a corridor, fighting against the horde until he could reach his exit.  Soft, golden light greeted him, the clacking of the tram echoing down sloping streets.  His feet took him down a well-tread path without thought, stopping in front of a familiar stall, the owner looking at him expectantly.

He flicked his hand up, three fingers at the ready, and had to quickly abort the gesture, fingers curling in to dig into his palm.  He took a deep breath, cleared his throat.

“Just one.”

“Alright,” the lady answered cheerfully, reaching back into the cooler and grabbing an ice-cream bar, not stopping to ask for his flavor, “It’s been a while since you stopped by, I was getting worried. That friend of yours, too!  How is he doing?”

“He’s –“ Axel swallowed.  How could he answer?  Roxas wasn’t dead, his heart still existed, but he couldn’t come back. “He’s gone.”

“Oh,” the shopkeeper stilled, searching his eyes, seeming to find something as her face dropped, eyes pinching, “Oh, I’m so sorry.  He was such a good boy, always so polite.  He didn’t deserve to die so young.”

His heart tumbled in his chest, anguish crawling up from his stomach to squeeze around his throat, “Yeah.  Yeah, he was – “

He couldn’t do this.  Rifling through he pockets, he pulled out some change, “Here.”

“No, no,” the shopkeeper pushed his hand back, holding it softly as she smiled at him sadly, “You take this one on the house.  Take care of yourself.”

She squeezed his hand, a shadow of his grief mirrored back at him, and his eyes burned.  He nodded, taking the ice cream and hurrying away.

A short walk later, he settled on the clock-tower, slowly making his way through his treat.  The city bustled along beneath him, as unchanged as ever.  He was leaning back, fiddling with the empty stick when a girl slipped from the darkness to sit next to him.

He glanced over, taking in the translucent nature of her hair, the sickly purple pallor to her skin, but said nothing.  They sat in silence for several long minutes, watching the sunset.

“I talked to Kairi, before the Organization took her,” she said, “She said you tried to protect her.”

“Mm.  Didn’t do a very good job of it, obviously.”

“Maybe.  But you tried.”

“I tried,” Axel acknowledged.

“You gave up your one chance to get Roxas back.  Why?”

Axel fiddled with the stick, tucking it inside his pocket beside another.  Winner, ha.  He lost everything.

“I don’t know; guess I just got tired of being the bad guy.”

She looked skeptical, but didn’t press, just looked back at the sunset.

“We did wrong by you.  At Castle Oblivion,” Axel spat out, determinedly watching a tram on its winding path through the city, “We never should have kept you captive like that, or used the Rep – Hitoshi, the way we did.  I’m sorry.”

Beside him, she drew in a long, shaking breath, letting it out slow. “I’m sorry, too.  I needed to help Sora and Hitoshi, but… sacrificing one for the other, that wasn’t right.”

“No.  But, whatever blame you have, it’s my fault as well,” he said, folding an arm over his knee, “You told me, didn’t you?  They’d always find out the truth in the end.  I didn’t listen, so sure I could avoid your fate.  So sure I could fix it.”

“So, you’re giving up?  On Roxas?”

“Never,” he snapped, instinctual and sharp, then sighed, “But I won’t kill Sora to do it, don’t worry.  Roxas and Sora have done the impossible, existing at the same time before.  I figure there must be another way out there, somewhere.  I’ll find it, no matter how long it takes.”

“No matter how long it takes,” she echoed.  They lapsed back into silence.  Axel drew in a deep breath, then let it out, weight going with it.  After a while, she stood, looking down at him, “I need your help.”

“Oh?”

  Axel agreed to help her.

It went like this: Naminé and Riku wanted to get Kairi out of the Organization’s hands before Sora reached them, so they never had the chance to use her against him.  Riku would be the distraction while Naminé performed the extraction, but they could use an extra hand.

“Someone who knows the place and can defend us if we run into any opposition,” she explained, leading him through a corridor.  When they exited, Riku’s head snapped to the side, staring piercingly at Axel from beneath the shadows of the hood.  Finally, he turned to look at Naminé.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” Naminé said, “I trust him.  Or, I trust Kairi’s view of him.”

“If it makes you feel better, it’s not like a could turn Sora into a heartless, anyways.  I gave the tool I needed to do it to Kairi.”

“So why are you helping us?  After everything we….” Riku trailed off.

“Well, I’ll admit, I still don’t like you very much,” Axel sighed, “But I guess one of us had to stop being a hypocrite, eventually.  What I did to Kairi, it wasn’t right.  I’d like to make it up to her; that’s all.”

  Naminé had a point, about having someone who knew the lay of the land.

She would have pulled Kairi through at random, probably ending up right in one of the winding pathways.  Instead, he pointed out a small tower, opposite the one that held Kairi, that was primarily used for storage.  He also used his knowledge of Saïx’s habits to point Riku in his direction – that would work plenty as a distraction.  Plan made, they set off, Riku for the top of the Castle and Axel and Naminé for the tower.

Axel made a path for them directly to a closet, watching Naminé carefully as he closed the corridor behind them.

“Hey,” he said, as she carefully steadied her breathing, “Maybe I should go grab her.  I’m not sure how many more of those trips you can take.”

Naminé shook her head, “We need to be fast, and we can’t be sure she’ll trust you.”

She choked on a breath that wanted to be a cough, hunching over until it passed.  Axel sighed, but shrugged, “Well, it’s your health.”

He leaned back against a stack of crates, watching as Naminé opened and stepped through a corridor, leaving the entrance in-tact.  After a moment she returned, Kairi by her side.  Naminé near collapsed as the corridor rippled closed, hand across her mouth as her skin tinted green.  Kairi didn’t seem to notice, having frozen when she saw him, a strange mix of fear and relief crossing her face, “Axel?!”

“Ah, hey.  Been a while,” Axel glanced away, digging a hand into his hair before turning to Naminé, “Alright, what’s the plan now?”

Naminé took a few long, deep breaths, then stood straight to face them both, “Now, we find Riku.  And then, Sora.”

  By silent agreement they set out on foot to find Riku.  Axel didn’t think Naminé could take another trip through a corridor without succumbing to darkness, and Kairi didn’t seem interested in going through one either.

The Castle was a patchwork maze of corridors, completely nonsensical outside of the top few floors.  It kept intruders like them confused and, Axel suspected, it made it easy for the Nobodies to wander aimlessly whenever their chests felt too empty, but their bodies needed to move.

Axel had lived there for going on a decade, however, and knew all the possible paths.

“Alright,” he said, “I sent Riku up to the Gray Room, but I’m not sure where he went from there.  Our best bet is to head for the Hall of Empty Melodies and see if we can’t spot the commotion from there.”

“The Hall of Empty Melodies?” Kairi questioned, incredulous.

“Look, I didn’t name them.  The Superior – ah, Xemnas, is just kind of… like that.”

He took the lead.  Kairi followed at his heels, Naminé drifting nervously behind her.  The princess’ eyes lingered on him heavily.

“What is it?” he snapped.

“Nothing, just,” Kairi hesitated, “I’m glad you survived.”

Well, now he just felt bad.  “Ah, thanks.”

They continued walking, in silence except for their footsteps echoing down the long, empty halls.  After turning another corner, Axel cleared his throat, “Look, about before… you know, with the kidnapping you, and stuff.”

“Mm?”

Axel hesitated, looking away from her curious gaze, “Sorry.”

Kairi blinked up at him in his peripheral vision.  For a long moment she just watched, biting her lip, until finally she looked away with a toss of her hair, “Well, I suppose I can forgive you.”

“Yeah?” he huffed.

“But only this once, understand?  You do it again and I’ll have to take you down myself.”

A laugh punched out of him in a startled breath, “Yeah, yeah, I – “

A flash of purple near the ceiling caught his eye.  He slammed to a halt.  Kairi stumbled into his side at the abrupt stop, Naminé nearly falling into her next.  Wincing, a hand going up to cradle his ribs, he stared at the corner, but whatever it was had disappeared, leaving nothing but gray wall.  Still, uneasiness made a home for itself in his stomach.

“Hey, we need to hurry,” he said, grabbing the two girls’ shoulder and urging them along.

“Axel?” Kairi questioned.

“I think we’ve been spotted, we gotta go.”

They hurried as much as they could, but they only made it two floors higher before they found their path blocked.

“Well, now, what do we have here?” Xigbar crooned, “Two birds flown the coop, and Saïx’s attack dog.  You know, Axel, I was looking forward to you throwing one last tantrum, but this!  Siding with the people that got rid of Roxas?  Gotta admit, I never saw it coming.”

“Yeah, well, I would hate to get predictable,” Axel said, summoning his chakrams.

“Not gonna come quietly, huh?” Xigbar cocked ones of his guns, taking aim, “Hah.  You’re a hundred years too early to be challenging me, number eight.”

No need to drag this out, then.  Axel sent a chakram flashing forward, rushing in behind it and leaping through the rush of sparks that resulted when Xigbar shot the first projectile off course.

“Naminé, Kairi!  Go!  There’s an elevator one hallway over that will take you up, get going!”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Xigbar said, turning to take aim where the girls were running off.  Axel rushed in, throwing his chakrams into the stream of nobodies chasing after them before reaching up, snagging the barrel of the gun and forcing it upwards as the blast went off.  He hissed, the heat of the blast burning even through his gloves.   Sneering, Xigbar turned, slamming his head into Axel’s forehead then following up with an elbow to the nose, sending him reeling back.

Axel knew he wasn’t winning this one.  Xigbar was number two for a reason, and part of that reason was he was terrifying when he wanted to be.  Instead, he just needed to stall for long enough for the girls to lose their tail before making his own escape.

Unfortunately, that seemed easier said than done.  He’d taken more than his fair share of hits recently, and it wasn’t doing him any favors.  Stars, he just went to get ice cream – he should have bought a damn potion.

So, despite his best effort, Xigbar was running him in circles.  Axel found himself panting in a ring of scorched earth, Xigbar watching him from the ceiling with an infuriating smirk on his face.

“Well, this has been fun.  But I’ve got things to do, so why don’t we finish this off?”

There was a click, then the world illuminated with a barrage of flashes.  The bolts landed close, each pinning Axel in more and more until he found himself completely trapped, limbs caught in a maze.

Xigbar flash-shifted down to stand over him, tapping his gun thoughtfully against his shoulder, “It would be easiest to just get rid of you, but standing orders out are to bring you in for Saïx to deal with.  Who knew that block of ice could be so sentimental?”

Axel grit his teeth as Xigbar smirked, turning to disappear into a corridor, “Be a good boy and wait here, yeah?”

  Getting trapped like that was humiliating.  Axel prided himself on his ability to escape any situation, to slip out with people none the wiser, but here he was, pinned in completely.

Which only made it worse when Demyx of all people found him there.

“Whoa, what happened here?  Did Xigbar find a – Axel?!”

“Demyx, hey!” Axel called, desperately trying to draw up a casual façade, but it was rather difficult when he was strung up like a marionette in a tangle of spikes, “What brings you here?”

“What, you didn’t notice all the chaos happening upstairs?  I mean, I assume you’re involved, given,” Demyx poked at one of the blaster bolts, drawing back with hiss as it sizzled against his finger, “The Organization’s crumbling, man.  I’m getting out of here!”

“Huh.  Don’t suppose you could do me a solid before you make your escape?  I’ll owe you one.”

He probably owed the guy more than that, given his own hand in Demyx becoming a part of the Organization, but he could deal with that in the future. Demyx hummed thoughtfully, “Hmm… I guess I can help you out, but I’m holding you to that favor.  And don’t go telling the others I helped, either!”

“Deal,” Axel said, sighing in relief as Demyx summoned a group of water figures to tug the spikes out of place.  He eyed the other thoughtfully, rolling his shoulder, “You know where you’re going?”

“Nah, not really – maybe I’ll go find a beach, spend my days with sun and sand!  Just as long as it’s as far from here as possible.”

“Hm,” waving a hand, Axel ripped open a corridor back to Hollow Bastion, “Here.  Not exactly a beach, but they’ve got a decent set of protections.  If any of the Organization ends up back there, they’ll have bigger things to deal with than you.”

“Really?  Sweet, thanks for the lift!  And, uh, good luck with whatever you’re doing here.  See ya!”

  When he finally made it to the Hall, he found Saïx cornering Kairi.   She stood strong in front of him, brandishing what looked suspiciously like a Keyblade, but the Nobody loomed tall above her.

Axel strode into the room, casual, hands loose, like it was just another day in the Gray Room, another time he had to divert Saïx’s attention, get him to stop harassing –

“Xigbar said you wanted to see me; I’m flattered,” he called, and Saïx’s gaze immediately snapped to him.  Kairi was smart, taking the moment to run for it.  Saïx tried to pursue, of course, but a flick of a chakram brought him up short, allowing the girl to reach Axel’s side.

“Where’s Naminé?” he asked Kairi, twisting his wrist to cut his connection to the weapon across the room, reforming it in his hand, “I can’t imagine she’d leave you alone with him.”

“She – “ Kairi cut herself off, hand pressed to her chest, to her heart, staring up at him with wide, watery eyes, “She disappeared.”

She disappeared?  She – oh.  Axel’s heart clenched.  The pain blind-sided him.  He really didn’t know her that well, in the end.  They were enemies half the time.  Still, he –

“You look sad.  How pathetic,” Saïx said, “There’s no use in mourning that which does not exist.”

“Have you even been paying attention?” Axel snapped, “We’re capable of having wings.  All that bull about not existing, about needing Kingdom Hearts – it was all garbage.”

“And look where it’s gotten you; I’ve never seen you so low.  I’ll be doing you a favor, finishing you off.”

That was all the warning Axel got before Saïx was rushing in.

Axel wasn’t doing as well as he’d have liked.  Kairi did her best to support him, but even with a magic weapon she had no experience, no practice, and Saïx has long-since mastered his blade.  So, no, things weren’t going well for them.

In a perfect world, this would be the rematch where the protagonist – even Axel couldn’t pretend to be a hero – would win.  Where he’d make his comeback and knock Saïx down, maybe convince him to stop being a complete asshole and they’d reconcile, or at least come to terms with what happened and move on.  They’d all live happily ever after.

But that wasn’t their story, and that wasn’t their ending.

He’d forgotten how many hits he’d taken over the last few days – his side, his ribs, his leg.  His magic was strained, and every move ached.  He tried his best, but –

He was tired.

All it took was a single distraction.  Sora called from above, Kairi replying, and he stopped paying attention.  Just for a second.  Just for a moment, he looked away from Saïx’s face, didn’t track his gaze, his attention.  He pulled his guard back up, when his once-friend started moving again.

But he wasn’t heading for Axel.

“Kairi!” he shouted in warning, but she wasn’t trained, there was no way she could move fast enough, she -

Axel found himself moving without thought, wings spreading as he hurtled forward, a single beat giving him extra speed.  There was barely enough time to intercept Saïx’s course.  He tugged for his weapons, tried to get his arms to move.  They collided.

He didn’t feel the pain, at first.  There was just a ringing that resolved itself into a furious yell from above, a screaming, familiar voice.  Between one blink and the next the wall in his sight became floor, small hands grasping at his coat, shaking him.  He lolled his head to the side, blinking away the gray encroaching on his vision as a shadow fell over him.  Saïx stood above, claymore raised, point down.

“Isa,” he breathed.

Axel watched, looking for any hesitation, any regret – any hint of blue oceans or even pale ice beyond the wall of yellow in his eyes.

There was nothing.

The sword dropped.

Light descended from above.  It streaked down like a comet, barreling into Saïx, sending them tumbling across the floor.  The hero came up growling, eyes glowing.  Sleek dark feathers bristled above, blue sheen glimmering in the light of Kingdom hearts, a second set of brown feathers spread low and stabilizing, angled aggressively forward. He held a Key made of sharp points in shades of gray, while another blade, silvery and dipped in sunlight, hovered in vengeful circles around him.

Axel blinked, and the two blurred into motion.  He could barely keep up as his vision swam, the two figures turning into bright streaks.   Saïx swept across the floor, outlined in blazing aura.  The Keyblade wielder met him deftly, sunlight blade striking viciously as he channeled magic through the other Key.

Ice formed above the wielder’s head with a shout as the silver Key parried away a blow.  Saïx moved in even closer and the hero moved in a rush that made Axel’s head hurt, spinning tightly around the older boy to switch places, the ice above teetering then exploding, eating into Saïx.  Axel’s breath hitched because he knew those moves, that magic –

Roxas.

Two hands shook him, a voice slowly coming into focus through the swimming in his ears.

“Axel.  Axel, look at me.  What do I do?”

He blinked.  Kairi was staring down at him, eyes wide, “Axel?”

“Kai – “ His lungs squeezed, and he cut off in a harsh cough.  He shifted, barely moved a muscle before stopping with a hiss, ow, that hurt.  Instead, he carefully lifted one hand.  He reached out to pat her head before stopping, arrested by the sight of the flickering shadow-flames burning along his hand.  A glance to the side showed his wings smoldering beside him.

“Ah.  Looks like your congratulations on surviving were a bit hasty.”

Kairi just shook her head.  There was a large flash behind them, another yell – You’re done! – and then the clatter of footsteps before the hero collapsed at his side, Roxas’s eyes staring down at him as brown wings faded away.

“Axel!  Are you okay?”

“Sora?” Kairi asked, voice wavering.

Roxas stiffened, glaring at her through Sora’s eyes.  Now, that wouldn’t do.  Axel shifted, tapping his fist against Roxas’s arm to get his attention.

“Hey, Roxas.  I’ve been better.”

Roxas snapped his gaze back down, running a nervous hand over him and flinching back at the wispy, smoking edges.

“Cure,” he commanded.  Axel saw the green magic rush over him, felt it flood through his veins, but it fizzled out, unable to catch.

“Cure!” Roxas demanded, to no effect.

“Hey, Roxas,” Axel started, but he ignored him, glaring down at his wounds.

“Cura,” he snapped, “Cura, cura.”

“Roxas –“

“Curaga!”  A green circle traced around them, pulsing like a heartbeat.  He couldn’t feel it.

“Roxas.” Axel grabbed his Flight-mate’s hand, smiling sadly at his desperate, heartbroken look, “It’s too late for me.  There’s not enough left to save.”

“No!  I won’t let this happen, not again.  I can’t lose you, too!”

“Too?” Axel drew in a labored breath, trying to think through the fog filling his head, “Our third?  You know who…?”

Roxas shook his head, “I can’t remember.  I just know she’s here, with me.”

“She.  Well, that’s something, at least.”

They breathed together for a moment in silence.  Roxas dug his fingers into Axel’s coverts, and Axel sighed, tilting into the soft warmth of it before the feathers faded to ash. Cold continued to creep its way up Axel’s limbs, smothering the constant flame that lived in his chest since his magic unlocked.

“Why did this have to happen?” Roxas whispered, “Axel, why didn’t you just tell me?”

Axel reached up, carefully carding his fingers through dark feathers, “I had so many excuses.  Told myself it was for the best.  But really, I was just scared I’d lose you, if you knew the truth.  I suppose I ended up losing you anyways.”

“No.  No, you didn’t lose me, I’m still here, Axel – You said it yourself.  You’ll always be my best friend, right?”

“Right.  Though, it looks like I might… might not be able to be there for you, any more.”

“No, you – ” Roxas cut off in a dry sob, curling over him.

“I’m sorry,” Kairi said softly from his other side, and Axel flinched.  Right, he’d forgotten she was there.

“Shut up!  What do you know?”

“Hey, Roxas!” Axel hissed, trying to sit up but failing, breath catching “It’s not – her fault.”

Roxas flinched, something moving behind his eyes.  He opened them again, wide, apologetic and imploring, confused but sheepish, and oh, that wasn’t – that wasn’t Roxas anymore, it was –

“Sorry,” Sora said, “I don’t know why I –“

He flinched again, blue eyes flickering until Roxas stared through.

“No – no!” Roxas snarled, even as his wings fluttered out of existence, “I won’t let him.  I don’t understand.  Why…”

“Why did you save Kairi?” Sora asked, eyes deepening, “You kidnapped her, but then… I can’t -”

“I can’t hold on,” Roxas said, hand to his head, “I can’t hold him back.”

“Hey,” Axel said, “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”

Roxas shook his head, “How can you say that?  Nothing about this is okay.  What –“

“What were you trying to do?” Sora asked, “They said you wanted to turn me into a heartless, but, why?”

Axel huffed a laugh.  Why indeed.  When Roxas didn’t speak up, he sighed, and answered, “I just wanted to get Roxas back.”

“That name again,” Sora said, “People keeping calling me that, like they’re expecting someone else.  I don’t get it. Whoever that is, he’s not –“

“He’s not me!  He’s taken everything else from me, he doesn’t get to take this, too!” Roxas protested, “What’s so special…”

“About him?” Sora asked.

Axel just breathed for a moment, pain burning through the parts of him he could still feel, watching the hero’s eyes.  But Sora just stared back, wide-eyed and confused.  Heartbeat after fading heartbeat, Roxas didn’t return.  Sighing, he closed his eyes and let the grief course through him.  It was really over.  At least he got this.  He got one more good-bye.  With one last breath, he opened his eyes again.

“He gave me my heart,” he answered with a wry smile, holding up a shed feather to prove his point, watching as it faded to dust.  He couldn’t meet Sora’s eyes, even as he tried to explain, “He gave me a Flight.  Made me feel like I could be… more.”

He could hear Sora shuffling next to him, tried to imagine the expression on his face.  Would it be like Roxas, all light furrows and slight tilts in the corners of his eyes, his mouth?  No, from their brief encounters he remembered that the kid’s expressions were always far more dramatic than his Flight-mate’s.

The flames of non-existence lapped at his throat.  He was out of time.

“Hey,” he whispered between labored breaths, reaching up to press a hand against the hero’s chest, “Take care of him for me, will you?  I think… you’ll do better than I ever did.”

Roxas, our third.  Let’s meet again – in the next life.

 Next >

#axel speed-runs the five stages of grief #breaking news! #foreign couple finalizes divorce - burns down local forest #when you get your heart back just to immediately deal with all the shit you pulled in the last decade #kh #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts ii #axel #fanfiction #wingfic #wrap your wings au #Yza writes a thing

[popurikat]

back on my soriku train of thought I guess

I just finished watching a playthrough of kingdom hearts re:coded with my bestie here @skquill and when I saw this I thought, hey lets talk about yet another symbolism we find in the kh lore revolving these two boys. CAUSE I THINK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.

Though this series created virtual copies of our beloved characters who don’t have the memories of their counterparts, they still feel and react to the given circumstances and the events in Jiminy’s journal like they would if it was them. What caught me off guard in the beginning was that digital Riku was confirmed to be the keeper of the journal, the guardian angel if you will of the information and to an extent memories of everything real Sora has been through. 

It’s never explained why the journal takes the form of Riku, only that it simply exists as so. And though there is a sense of difference between data and real (Data is more soft spoken, apologizes frequently, and doesn’t want Data Sora to get hurt in ANY sense be it physical or emotional. Yet he still retains the sarcasm, calculative nature, and fondness for Sora as the real Riku would.) He’s also the main one in story to follow Data Sora into defeating all the “bugs” that are corrupting the journal as well as stopping Pete and Maleficent from doing further damage. I did quite enjoy this scene of Data Riku asking Sora to stay away when Pete corrupts him with said bugs:

Data Riku takes his role seriously, even if he knows they aren’t the real deal, he has the instinct of keeping the face of the one he cares about alive at all costs, even if it means he goes corrupted. Huh, kinda reminds me of KH2 when Riku is ashamed at the thought of his friends looking at his Ansem form when he assists in Sora’s awakening. And we see another parallel again of the extent of Riku’s sacrafice:

And what I absolutely adore is that Data Sora is always there to tell him he’s not alone, he has his support, and that self sacrifice is in vain if they don’t have each other or their friends. It grounds them, helps them get where they need to be and eventually helps them open up to each other a lot more easier. I joked in my watch through that “Oh, this Sora is the Chaotic good that we would’ve gotten if Sora never experienced Trauma and this Riku is the one that we would have gotten if he trusted in Sora and blocked out the control of Maleficent’s darkness!” But in reality, these two are the just purest essence of their true selves, its the sora and riku we should have ended with when all was said and done, just two people who look out for the other and confide about their fears, their strengths and weaknesses, and give each other the strength to move on.

I also would like to point out that with Riku’s more mellowed attitude in this version, Sora takes charge in bringing up his self esteem, and in turn comes off as though he has grown more mature with each world they pass. But really the only difference is that this Sora is taking every bit of advice he’s taken from his peers and rewording it to fit the situation at hand. Riku’s down? Use a friendship quote he picked up from Donald/Goofy. But he is also sincere with it, where he doesn’t boast about being right or tease Riku when he feels insecure about a statement made, he genuinely wants Riku to feel worth and understand theres no need to apologize as nothing is wrong and what matters now is how they move forward.

And after this set of pictures where Riku is about to send Sora to King Mickey to finalize their mission after they realize “uh oh, Sora’s heartless got illegally downloaded and is causing another virus!”, it brings us back to the top image...waaaaaay back in the beginning of this long post of a pretty little glass stained door. And BOY do I have thoughts on this sequence! Riku’s instinct is to summon a portal specifically for Sora, his priority is to keep him safe as usual. But out of all the doors hes created thus far in game, this one is the most detailed and symbolic. He MADE THE DETAILS INTO ROSES. A flower well known for its tie in with romance. And the colors? Blue, Red, Lilac, and purple; with a few accents of pink and lighter blues. Do you know why the colors matter? BECAUSE THEY ARENT FRIENDSHIP BASED. THEY ARE AS FOLLOWS:  - Red roses: passion, desire, romance, eternal love (also Sora’s color) - Blue roses: Mysterious, Extraordinary, Unattainable Love (also Riku’s color) -Lilac: A promise to a future together -Purple: love at first sight -Pink: Appreciation, Gratitude, Admiration, unconditional love/affection

See, personally if I would’ve wanted to express a “friendship” between the puppet apparatuses of “real” individuals who carry very similar ideas of their counters, I would have gone with maybe a design that looks less like overlapping rose petals that concave into a secret tunnel, and gone more with a design thats like a forget-me-knot and stuck with blue for it as it IS Riku’s doing in this situation. He’s opening an escape for Sora. We don’t see a special portal like that when he teleports Mickey and co out the second time, its just bright light. So why give such a great detail to supposed best friends? On top of the design, it looks like stained glass. You know, like the ones used in churches? Typically meaning hope, togetherness, and love? Not to mention that the structure of the portal looks like a wedding arch, you know, the ones where people stand under to say their vows? SPEAKING OF VOWS! Don’t Sora and Riku in DDD create a heart song literally called “Dearly Beloved”, you know, the phrase said before wedding vows, and coincidentally with these characters creating the same colors we see in the portal. Listen, I couldn’t make this up if I tried. But at this point I will yell at the skies that Sora and Riku love each other in every form they take and are quite frankly married. Sorry, don’t make the rules, but this is def. beyond friendship.

In conclusion, um...Riku and Sora? Yeah if their digital versions understood that they can be separated from their friends but live on in their memories as long as they have each other just through the sheer shared experience of a walk through memory line of Sora’s past....then what is stopping the real ones from realizing this? And the thing is again, we got something very close to this realization when real Sora and Riku were trapped in the darkness and just kinda kicking back contemplating life and how glad they have each other at least. But in this iteration, its a lot more than just giving in to the fact nothing else can be done, its honoring the adventure, the time spent, and the amount of growth they’ve gone through. This iteration understands their work is done and its okay to find solace in the other when all the rest of their memories from those not in the digital world will erase, yet never truly be gone because THOSE friends on the other side will always have them in their hearts. This was supposed to be how in my eyes KH3 ended and why after seeing this, I know that we need to get back to this point, because OUR story with OUR Sora and Riku has yet to aquire this level of understanding. I’m expecting a sorta, KH 3.5 in the future or some spinoff to tie their stories up and to have them be at peace that they probably will never return to the world they grew up in, but thats fine because they have each other and a whole new adventure. And thats what I enjoyed about this part of re:coded. In summary I guess, Sora and Riku are destined to end up in the same realm helping the other, thats their fate, reaching contentment in the others presence and to stop feeling like its their job to save everyone out of their reach. The heroes journey is over, its time to find the conclusion of their own inner turmoil and remember who was there since the start for them.

#Kh #Soriku #re:coded #Skquill #long post #read more #slight analysis #Sora #Riku

[kicktwine]

do you have more thoughts on keyblade fighting that you need to put somewhere, because i have two hands ready to catch Should The Need Arise

anon: hey I heard you mention you’d analysed the combat styles in KH and what you said in the tags was already alluding to really neat stuff, but I for one would love to hear more of what you came up with!! so if you ever wanted to share any of your analysis then the floor is yours

aHAH, MY EXCUSE!!

Okay, so first some words on “standardized wielding styles”. These are styles shared by Terra, Aqua, Vanitas, Riku, and Xehanort and every other scala and daybreak kid. I will make the argument that the red style is the fanciest standard style, while the purple is seen often to make it easier on the little chibi sprites. BUT, I cannot discredit Eraqus, who uses the purple variant in bbs, nor can I discredit half of the Foretellers (Gula and Ava, at least, use this. Invi and Aced use the first type). So, two standard styles. For simplicity, let’s say one for primary offense, one for primary defense. The standard offensive style really wasn’t popular before Scala-era society.

check this difference out, specifically between ava invi and gula:

then between eraqus, hermod, and xehanort, and eraqus and terra.

These two were likely popularized and standardized for education in Scala ad Caelum for their predominant lack of obvious weak spots.

After this, we have unique styles. Those include Sora Kairi and Xion’s (similar to standard defense, but more mobile at the expense of form — Kairi takes after Sora but less confident, she hasn’t been hit that heavily yet), Ven’s (backhand, heavy range and mobility), Roxas’ (modified for two keyblades, but takes after Sora), and Axel’s (taught himself, comfortable with chakrams).

So! Let’s go.

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Standard (offensive)

All styles have sub-variations, of a sense. Different wielders can choose where their keyblade points, and how they hold it exactly, based on what makes them most comfortable. Terra and Aqua point theirs downward, while Vanitas and Riku hold theirs above their head. What is recognizeable to this style is a hand for the sword, and a hand for guarding/blocking/items/magic.

It’s incredibly efficient. With only one hand on the weapon, you not only free up a hand for other things, but increase your range of movement with said weapon. Test it out yourself! The keyblade hand is always your dominant hand, held behind you for increased power when attacking (since you lose a significant amount of it by choosing not to grip with both hands). This style also decreases the speed of the defense you have, but with that increased mobility and swing power, along with a hand free to brace against the keyblade (defense strength up!), it makes up for it. Many people who use this also have strong barrier spells — both a testament to their preference for coverage and an acknowledgement that any directional block will take a little longer and be weaker if they try it with one hand.

The pointy end, though. What difference does it actually make, the height it’s at?

I think it’s half a matter of attack style preference and half intention. Riku, Vanitas, and Xehanort stab quite a bit. Aqua and Terra slice more. Not that they don’t do both, but it’s the first instinct. Aqua and Terra are also likely taught to hold their keyblade neutrally, in a safe position, until someone starts attacking. It’s polite! Eraqus also holds his one-handed, neutrally, until he gets into position. Riku and Vanitas learned to fight assuming everyone was out to fight them. Invi and Aced may like this style because of range (i hc she’s blind and strikes very very quickly, and he’s already very powerful with just the one arm and wants better motion).

and on character specifics: Terra often switches to two-handed, to copy his dad and add extra power to his hits without always sacrificing the empty hand. Vanitas likely was forced to relearn how to fight, as instead of solely being trained to be better at withstanding, he was constantly being made to better his own attacks. The moves Xehanort uses would best be replicated in the same style. Vanitas is wild for holding the massive spiky x-blade like that.

Now, what‘s good on this style does not correlate to what’s bad in the other. The two standard styles simply have different ways of dealing with each con they create or taking advantage of each pro.

(Here’s an interesting side note — Gula uses standard defensive, but in this instance, swaps. One hand… likely to display confidence! Wrong move, but hey. He got cocky. He’s also doing it wrong, and swaps back to two-handed to take Aced’s attack.)

.

Standard (defensive)

The main detriment of this style is the lack of ease of long range movement. Hold a wrapping paper tube out in front of you with both hands, then run. It goes to the side, or tucks in to your stomach, right? Dodge. Your legs will get in the way unless you know where to move that sword. It requires, interestingly, a little more discipline. You’d think Aqua would like that, but no, she wants movement and practicality, and she loves magic, and remember that you must take a hand off this style to grab a potion. You’d think young Eraqus wouldn’t, but remember that he’s a fancy royal lad.

The main draw, though, is tankiness, readiness, and power. You don’t need to move as much if nothing dares hit you! Ava and Gula might be attracted to this style because they’re not as physically strong, but want protection in close-quarters fighting. Using this style when your muscles aren’t as big but you still want to Hit Things Good, or when you want to be a boy you can’t knock over with a pail of water (horse stance rules), is probably solid advice.

Traditionally, this is a lot less like fencing, and a lot more like a samurai sword or kendo. Your blade is held in front of you, giving you very easy access to blocks and frontal attack/defense. In losing some twirly spinniness, you gain power and minimize your opponent’s ability to parry and block.

you gotta dodge master Eraqus so mcuh

All styles will swap between one and two hands for different moves. Eraqus, notably, swaps to a stance very similar to Xehanort when channeling a metric ton of magic.

Both of these styles require a degree of upper body/core strength, as does all swordfighting. I would be interested to see someone whose keyblade style relies on leg strength.

.

Sora, Xion, and Kairi

please look at the difference between the foretellers’ or eraqus’ two-handed grip and Sora’s. Do this with your shoulders and a top-heavy object.

They’re both in a hard stance, but hon. What are you, a gremlin? Anyways, a traditionally taught master would have… better form, even if it’s harder to learn at first. It’s habitual. Sora nearly crouches, and holds his keyblade back-pointed with two hands, which makes it easier for him to dodge roll, push off his feet quickly, and pull off those spinning combos he loves. It‘s really gonna hurt his muscles, in the future, though, since he’s doing a squat for like…. hours. Pulling on those shoulderblades and neck. Xion, too. Replicas had better have correct muscle dynamics. Kairi is brand new, so… maybe Aqua can teach her how to hold a sword so it doesnt hurt you.

Okay, now look at the grip itself. Held in front versus held to the side-back. They’re really attempting to combine both standard styles subconsciously, giving themselves more attack power while really wanting to keep that hard defensive parry, wanting to prevent all attacks to the front while also wanting mobility. It’s working for them really well, they fight like an anime character, and manage to get the best of both, with a minor sacrifice of length range that they don’t care about. We’re flexible and full of magic, baby! Holding the blade like this makes it pretty easy to let go with one hand without sacrificing that crouched defense position.

Now, Sora, specifically, is very adaptive. He’s had two keyblades, claws, guns, yo-yos, and a giant shield, to name a couple. He retains a bit of that alert crouch no matter where he goes, but Sora knows how he wants to attack and how to balance that with the most effective way to use his current weapon. He’s a smart kid! Sora has the most ridiculous shotlocks, which are also probably due to not always wanting to go standard for it. He also prefers to keep his focus on the enemy, which is evident in his reprisals and lack of very many effective “escape” moves.

Xion is very similar to Sora, but she does have some moves that are all movement. She switches to one handed for strikes a lot — using two for defending, one for smacking. In her data battle I’d swear some of those heavy hits are claymore-like. But anyways, since we’re magic, Xion cares not for the laws of exhaustion, and will ping about as a ball of light everywhere. Short range? Up in your business. Mid-range? In your business with one hand. Long range? Throws a boomerang. Hit her? No you dont. Ball of light. She’s above you and wants to bash your head in. (Vanitas also does this! A lot. It’s an easy way to catch someone off-guard. I’ll argue that the soras are very tough and strong, but not tanky. they want to avoid being hit a lot)

Another interesting note about Kairi. I say “unconfident” not because she doesn’t hit hard, but because her stance is also often tilted back, ready to dodge. It’s two handed, but almost all her moves are one. She does love spinning and throwing the thing! It looks like she’s been taking notes from the wielders she knows. It would be easy to teach her a standard style, I think. See here, she lets go on the strike, and by trying to do both, actually ends up with an advantage (being confusing) and disadvantage (losing both the power of two handed and versatility of one handed).

A counter to Sora and Xion is difficult to pin down. Time? Probably. Lack of heating pads. Something that takes all their attention is about the only way to get a sneak attack in, and then you have to hit hard. A counter to Kairi would be anyone who can knock her off balance. She needs a sturdier stance. .

Roxas

Roxas is interesting. He takes after Sora for the one blade. Wielding two, however, nets him a totally different way of fighting. Roxas’ clavicle muscles n… deltoids and stuff must be Ironclad. Also, two handed means you are very fast and sharp all the time. He has the advantage of standard defense (horse stance), and the advantage of offense (range of one sword, but twice).

Roxas generally attacks in two ways — simultaneous hits, and follow-up hits. Either he hits with both at once, or hits hard with the first one, and adds the second one as a bonus smack. He can attack by hitting in opposite directions with the two, like a drum, but that will be a little awkward and leave him prone to being tangled. That established, the follow-up hit method means he spins a bunch. As do we all.

Roxas gets a little complicated because we are not in the real world. We have magic and turning into light and physics that let you become a circular saw. So, typically, disadvantages would include: being unable to let go of a weapon to grab something or use an item, having just a very big silhouette to attack on, having difficulty with close-range attacks because Oathkeeper and Oblivion are kinda long, and convenience. Roxas gets to dodge #1 (keyblades can be unsummoned) and #4 (keyblades can be unsummoned). Speaking of dodging, he also gets to skirt the difficulty of dodging and rolling with two swords because he turns into a beam of light. But he can’t dodge how difficult it is to use two swords effectively — he needs to concentrate on fighting, and nothing else, or he risks messing up. He has to be very, very coordinated, and undistracted. Luckily he’s pretty good at making his opponents shut up, most of the time. Blocking is another thing — theoretically his blocks could be strong, but Roxas has no real brace: crossing your blades and taking a hefty stab might smack one of them back into your face. He mostly uses reversals and dodges, because of this.

The takeaway to this is Roxas is built for speed and power, and he is very strong. He’s a mid- to far- range fighter who if you’re not careful can snap you in half if you’re too close (be SO careful of that cross blade scissor).

A perfect counter to Roxas would be a tank that can grapple, and also be very distracting. If you can take hits, be talkative, and get close enough to stop his blades, you have a chance.

.

Ventus

This is a bizarre choice, my guy, but I get it.

Backhanded weapons are very impractical for a lot of... attacking, mainly in mid-range combat, and Ven likes to either fight very close or throw the keyblade like a boomerang (and hey, backhand gives it a good whip for throwing). His attacks aren’t meant to one hit KO, but they do come with a bit of power to them, especially on the backslash. Like holding a knife for gouging. It’s for very close defense — pretty good when Wayward Wind and Missing Ache have hooks.

Backhand also, while retaining that empty hand for potions and guarding, gives you an extreme coverage boost. By which I mean Ven’s sword hand now has a nearly 270 degree sweep of “I see you, don’t touch me”, very quickly, based on just flicking his wrist. It sacrifices a ton of strength/sturdiness, but you don’t need that if you’re dodging. You also don’t really need to block, which is slower, but relatively sturdy when Ven does it, as he blocks with mostly the chunky hilt between crossed arms. He sacrifices (again) a bit of strength for coverage — an attack would hurt his arms, not his chest, if he were hit head-on.

His attacks often have him flip the blade around in his hand, too. Quick swaps between standard moves and backhand ones. Basically, Ventus is built for moving, protecting himself, and quick attacks that wear down the enemy, not outclass it. Likely because he’s good at fighting, but everyone he’s fought hits harder than he can! It doesn’t matter how he holds it, getting hit will hurt. So he just. Doesn’t. He’s not a buff little guy — but he is a persistent one. Ven very likely made this up on his own, in Daybreak, and it was too hard to fix his whole style, but it was enough to correct most of his form so he doesn’t hurt himself too much. He is going to have to really stretch that shoulder and wrist (maybe get a brace), though. At least his neck is ok. … not sure about his knees tho dang boy that crouch

A perfect counter to Ven would be someone big and fast, who hits hard mid-range. He’s already been sparring with Terra, though, so when in doubt, try scruffing him?

.

Axel

Theres not a ton to say about him — he‘s not a swordfighter. He uses his keyblade like it’s a frisbee. Because that’s what he’s used to! His neutral is behind his back on his shoulder, which is terrible for readiness, but okay for chucking the thing. It’s good it has a sort of… ripstik like… boomerang quality.

Axel’s fighting style is completely made up, like most of the self-taught wielders’. His strengths lie in some of the benefits of standard offensive style (one-handed), and some of the same coverage stuff as Ven, having a cocked wrist most of the time so no one can sneak up around him without risking getting whacked very quickly, and having an interesting range due to the pointy end being basically on a spinny swivel wherever his hand moves. He’s not going to be good at close-range and he knows it — his attacks are mostly distance. And the guy has ZERO defense, combined with zero coverage when idle, so it’s for the better.

Distance-wise, though, he rocks. Treating the blade like it’s a flaming throwing weapon means his idle is actually great for sudden flick-tossing and attention-guiding for sneakier attacks, and his stance itself (…nonexistent) serves a different purpose: bait. Basically a big "come hit me". Fun, when you have a lot of fire magic and two friends who are beasts and love to take advantage of a distracted enemy — distance on the blade, proximity on the burning.

A perfect counter to Axel would be someone pinging around very close <—> very far and circling him incessantly. Like, data Xion could wreck him, as he has to wait for the boomerang to come back -- he no longer has two spinny wheels. Also someone with water magic.

.

SO! In conclusion! Having a teacher who teaches you correct sword usage rather than instinct may detract from overspecific styles that benefit you most but leave weak spots, but your muscles and your oversights will thank you. Everyone is glad we have the power of the Mouse and anime on our side.

Keep in mind again that I have done cursory research, and have had minimal actual sword instruction, I am not an expert and this is all for fun anyways :]

#I ran out of images which is homophobic #KH #ask #mojimallow #THANKS MOJI #If you’re wondering what the counter would be to Terra and Aqua; in terms of counters there are no counters #not style-wise anyways. That’s why they’re standard. #Terra can’t react very fast and Aqua needs more mp but that’s individual #and we are mostly talking BASE COMBAT here #of course lingering will can use keyblade transformations and there’s magic strategies — but that would make this post… much longer #brrrrrrr #kh analysis #kh meta #thanks to the handful of other people who asked me to expand on the same thing <3<3<3 #REALLY wanted to include one of Invi blocking — just go watch invi and aced fight for two standard offense #it Shows off their strengths and weaknesses #… no living adults do the two handed grip. Watch Sora and Xion’s data battle for an approximation I guess?? #you. Hey you. Look in the notes rn #metazone

[sangorous]

AN INTERESTING THANKSGIVING

word count: 0.8k

genre/warning: idk?/homewrecking-ish?pettiness

miyuki kazuya x black fem!haitian!reader

show: ace of diamond

"Look at my baby," her mother smiled as Riku walked up to his grandma with a smile.

"Hi grandma," he giggled as she picked him up.

"How are you doing honey?" she placed small kisses on his cheek.

"Grandma," he whined with a laugh.

"Hi ma," she kissed her cheek and gave her a hug.

"Hi ma," Miyuki greeted her with a hug and peck on the cheek.

"Hello my darlings, I'm happy y'all made it," she smiled as [your name] placed the haitian macaroni on the table.

"I'm glad we made it here and safely as well, I was scared we were going to die on our way here the way [your name] was driving," Miyuki sighed as her mother began to laugh.

"Not only are you an amazing catcher, but you're a comedian as well I see," [your name] sarcastically replied as he snickered.

"Someone  sounds upset,"

"No, not at all," she gave him a fake smile as he continued to snicker.

When [your name] and Miyuki walked back to the dining room after washing their hands, they noticed that there was an empty seat with a purse on it next to her younger brother. She looked at the familiar purse and tried to figure out who it belonged to, and it hit her.

"Oh hell no," she muttered to herself as she watched her older sister take a seat in the chair.

"Ma, I thought you said she wasn't gonna make it tonight," she looked at her with a glare.

"I thought so too until she came knocking on my door this morning," her mother chuckled, taking her seat at the table.

"It's nice to see you too, little sister," her sister sarcastically replied, giving her a fake smile.

[your name] decided to ignore her as she grabbed Miyuki's hand and walked over to their spots at the table.

Rose-Marie also is known as [your name]'s older sister, she was someone she did not like at all. Despite them being family, [your name] did not care for her nor consider her to be her sister after what she tried to do two years ago. Two years ago when Rose-Marie didn't have anywhere to go after her breakup with her boyfriend, [your name] decided to be a good sister and let her crash at her place until she could land back on her feet. Unaware of her true intentions, [your name] thought she was doing something good. Slowly, she began to catch on to her sister. Her little flirtatious acts whenever Miyuki was around, asking him for help for things she clearly knew what to do, and unnecessarily touching him.

[your name] couldn't lie, every day she would try her best not to lose her cool. Miyuki would sometimes make fun of the situation stating that 'he's handsome, what would you think would happen?' and yes she would smack him in the back of his head because there was nothing funny about her sister trying to get with her husband.

But one day, she crossed the boundary when she purposely tried to seduce Miyuki who was trying his best to push her away from him. [your name] couldn't hold it in anymore, she got up from her chair and dragged her older sister by her hair while Miyuki quickly got up and followed her. He tried his best to pull her hand away, but her grip was too tight. [your name] kicked Rose-Marie out of her house and told her that she never wanted to see her again.

"I see some things never change," her brother hummed, grabbing his plate.

"This should be interesting," Miyuki whispered to him.

During the thanksgiving dinner, she noticed that her sister kept eyeing Miyuki and he felt a bit uncomfortable.

"I think some of us should keep our eyes on our plates, don't y'all think so?" she hummed, cutting the piece of turkey on her plate to hand over to her son.

"Why can't we observe what's on each other's plates? sometimes someone's plate has something packed in it," her sister retorted with a small smirk, eating the macaroni.

"I just find it funny how mama always has the same rat runnin' around her house every thanksgiving," she had a fake smile on her face.

"Funny how roaches love to pick on rats," her sister hummed, shaking her head.

"Funny how some people can't find their own man, so they choose to seduce a married man instead," she stabbed her fork into the turkey.

"Oops was that too obvious?" she looked at her with an innocent look as the table became quiet.

"Talk about a home run am I right?" Miyuki joked as [your name] glared at him.

"Relax, alright?" he whispered in her ear, placing his hand on her thigh and giving it a squeeze.

"What an interesting thanksgiving dinner," her younger brother cleared his throat while her mother smacked the back of his head.

#ace of diamond x black!reader #poc reader #black reader #diamond no ace x black!reader #ace of diamond x black reader #diamond no ace x black reader #ace of diamond #diamond no ace #miyuki kazuya x black!reader #miyuki kazuya x black reader #miyuki kazuya

[miss-tc-nova]

Weathering - Riku x Reader

Ah, you guys are a bunch of saps. Always looking for that happily ever after. No fun. 

Well, I put the offer out there so here goes. I’ve had this sitting in my WiP folder for way too long but I got a song in my KH Fic Spotify list that keeps reminding me this exists. So tadaaa! Also, this is one of my longer ones...by quite a bit which is also why the end is a bit sudden

Music Inspiration: Lie to Me by 12 Stones

~~~~~

              The rain is not kind to me. At least, it doesn’t make my day any easier as I trudge home.

              Simply put, today has been terrible. Work sucked, I left my wallet at home, I have almost no groceries, and, obviously, I’m walking home in the rain. All of this on top of my already strained relationship with my boyfriend.

              Our situation isn’t exactly easy. Because of recent adventures, Riku wasn’t comfortable leaving me on my own and insisted I stay with someone he trusted—only the Twilight Town gang was available for babysitting duty. They easily accepted me into their little group, stopping by my new apartment almost daily to check in. The adults became great pseudo-guardians and Xion is practically my little sister now. But Roxas—he’s my best friend, despite how much he dislikes Riku. We just instantly seemed to click and he’s kept me sane in this new world as I try to get by waiting for my boyfriend to return.

              I don’t entirely know what happened, but the hostility between the two is palpable. Roxas is very open about his disdain, and Riku ignored him at first, but I suspect the prolonged hostility is what caused him to finally snap back. And things only got worse.

              I still saw the whole group—including Roxas—but if Riku called and caught wind of my friend, he seethes up until the very last goodbye. Before long, the calls I got every few days dwindled to every few weeks, and then eventually, I’d be lucky to hear from him within the month, let alone physically seeing him. Even when I did receive a call or visit, they often ended in arguments. Still, I could never bring myself to end them on a sour note; so I always said what I had to in order to calm him down. The latest of these arguments, spurred by my desperation and loneliness, ended with a promise to put some space between me and Roxas.

              I couldn’t make myself a liar—not to Riku. I began denying invites to hang out, especially from Roxas, and I had to resist extending my own to him when I felt bored or lonely. Even if I did accept a visit with the others, I avoided him. It resulted in nagging from the blonde, but while I can’t lie to Riku, Roxas was another story. Tales of sicknesses and obligations got in the way of his plans because I just wasn’t going to tell him about Riku.

              And I’ve been miserable ever since.

              The door clicks shut behind me. In the dark, I melt against the door, the recent hell of my life infesting my heart. Tears meld into the water on my face and a shaky breath rattles my chest.

              The light flicks on. I let out a scream, pressing against the wall and jamming a hand into my pocket for my phone. Then I realize who’s sitting in the chair by the light switch.

              “Roxas?! What the hell are you doing here?!” I exclaim.

              With a scowl, he replies. “Haven’t seen my friend in several days; so we thought we’d come check on you.” The look in his eyes radiates a deeper meaning.

              “Wha-Wh-How did you get into my house?!”

              “You gave Isa a key for emergencies.”

              “What happened?! Did someone get hurt?!’

              “Oh, we can turn the lights on now?” From the kitchen, Xion pokes her head into the living room. She gives me an unwitting smile. “Hey! Welcome home!”

              Electing to avoid Roxas’s unspoken accusations, I follow Xion back into the kitchen. “Why were you guys sitting in the dark?”

              I find the young woman dumping popcorn into a popcorn maker. “Roxas said you wouldn’t come in if you saw the lights on.”

              “So instead you decide to give me a heart attack…”

              She giggles. “Sorry. We just wanted to surprise you. We brought snacks and a movie to watch.”

              I shove my hands through my hair. “I appreciate you guys coming to see me, but I’m really not feeling so great. Can we do this next week?”

              “Already trying to get rid of us?” A shiver shoots down my spine as I look back at Roxas leaning against the wall.

              “No. I mean, yes, technically, but I have things to do and I feel sick and I don’t want you guys to catch it.”

              “If you were that sick, you wouldn’t have gone to work.”

              My shoulders drop; I hate this.

              Suddenly, Xion ushers me into the hall. “We’re not worried about getting a little sick. I’ll even make you some soup. Now, go get cleaned up while we finish setting up.”

              “But-”

              “Go,” she insists, but it’s Roxas’s glare behind her back that encourages me to get away.

              Unfortunately for me, I can’t hide in the shower forever; I’ll have to face them eventually. As promised, Xion has a bowl of soup ready, however, in the living room, she forces me to sit near Roxas when she takes the recliner. I eat my soup in awkward silence despite the movie filling the room with noise.

              At least I’m able to somewhat distract myself with the movie. That is, until halfway through when Xion suddenly pauses it.

              “Hey, are you okay?”

              I glance between Xion’s genuine concern and Roxas’s glare before looking back down at the soup. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just a little tired, y’know. Work wasn’t so great and I forgot my wallet today. But it’s just one of those days.”

              There’s silence and I’m afraid to look up, but Xion presses. “And how are things with Riku?”

              “It’s…okay.” I can already feel the sadness seeping into my weary heart.

              This time, Roxas doesn’t hold back. “Yeah? Then why did he tell you to stop hanging out with me?”

              My tolerance for my own despair has grown tremendously in these past few months, but of course Roxas would know exactly which buttons to push to bring me crashing down.

              “You knew?” I mutter, barely holding back tears.

              “How the hell could I not? Why else would you avoid me?” he spits. The tears begin to drip. “You’ve been acting stupid for weeks so I knew that bastard probably said something to you.”

              “I…” My throat closes around the words and, pretty soon, they pour from my mouth in jagged breaths. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t spoken to Riku in three weeks and every time we do, we just end up fighting and I’m sad and scared and…I’m so lonely…I miss him. And…”

              That’s it for me. My bad day brought me low and Roxas dealt the final blow to my defenses.

              He sighs. “Come here.”

              Roxas slips an arm around my shoulder and pulls me against his chest. So sick of resisting my friend and desperate for the contact, I give in. Everything I’ve been holding in spills out as I cry and cry and cry until I reach that miserable gray area not far off sleep. And even though I’d been such a terrible friend, Roxas comforts me through it all.

~~~~~

              The slam ruins my dozing by aggravating my headache. My eyes burn but I manage to pry them open in time to see the back of a head of white hair enter the hall.

              Riku!

              Immediately, I spring off the sofa and rush after him. I catch the door just before it shuts and slip into the room with a light knock and a smile. Riku glances back and my heart skips; his teal eyes are sparking with anger.

              “Welcome back,” I say, trying my best to remain cheerful. “Did you find anything about Sora?”

              His jacket gets tossed into the corner. “No. Still no sign of him,” he answers curtly.

              “Oh…I’m sorry.” My gaze drops. I’m nervous about making things worse but I can’t do anything else. “I missed you.”

              His words shoot through my heart. “Did you really?”

              “Of course I did,” I reply instantly. “I—"

              “And that’s why you were cuddled up on the couch sleeping with Roxas?” he snaps.

              Of course that’s what this is about.

              “He’s my friend,” I say, feeling the water well in my eyes. “I’m sorry that I had a bad day and needed someone to comfort me.”

              “If that’s all you needed, all you had to do was call!”

              “If that’s all?! Riku, the last time I called you, you didn’t answer! You didn’t even try to call me back!”

              “If you’ve forgotten, I’ve been out looking for Sora!” he shouts. “He’s still missing if you haven’t noticed! And Kairi won’t stop sleeping until we find him!”

              That’s fair; it’s entirely fair that he wants to find his best friend and save the other from unending slumber, but he’s contradicting himself.

              “So then I just don’t matter anymore?!” I hate that I cry when I’m angry. “I only exist when the perfect trio is together?!”

              “So I’m just supposed to stop looking for my friend to give you attention?!”

              “I didn’t say that! I just wanted to know that you thought this relationship is still worth holding on to! A phone call, a message, something to let me know this is still important to you!”

              “I’ve been busy, okay?! I don’t always have time to message you when the Heartless are attacking or call when I’m chasing a lead!”

              “I only needed three words! Instead, I get attacked because relying on my best friend when you’re gone is inappropriate!”

              “I didn’t say you couldn’t—"

              “Anytime we talk anymore all we do is fight over it! It’s ridiculous!”

              Riku snarls back, “You don’t exactly help.”

              “Neither do you! We can’t even get through ten minutes without fighting! And I’m sick of it!”

              “If you didn’t—"

              “NO!” I scream. “I can’t keep doing this anymore! I can’t keep fighting you to keep my friend! I can’t keep fighting with you because I’m sick of being alone.” The trembling in my body ripples in my voice. “I can’t keep fighting for a relationship I can’t see a future in.”

              His voice, cold as ice, is the last straw. “If you’re so miserable, then just leave.”

              And I do.

~~~Riku POV~~~

              Riku watches as the person he loves most—the person he fought to survive for—walks out the front door of the apartment without another word. At the rate they were going, this fight was inevitable. He knew this was how it would end; even as he landed on Twilight Town, he knew there was a good chance this would be the last of their relationship.

              That didn’t stop it from breaking his heart.

              The complication pokes his head into view. “What the hell was that?!”

              Riku, still brimming with anguish, snarls at him. “That was the breakup you caused!”

              “Me?! You think I caused that?!”

              “Yes, you! I swear, every time I call, you’re all I hear about! ‘Roxas and I did this!’ ‘Me and Roxas did that!’ I know you hate me, but even you could’ve at least given me the courtesy of telling me you were ruining my life!”

              “Excuse me?! Ruin your life?! Ruin YOUR life?! Do you not remember what you did to me?! What you did to Xion?!”

              Riku grimaces.

              “You put us through hell but we still forgave you! We took in your significant other because you were afraid of losing them and you have the nerve to accuse me of ruining YOUR life?! You—” Realization seems to dawn in Roxas’s eyes until he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Oh my gods. You think we’re in love.”

              Regaining some of his spite, Riku says, “It’s pretty damn clear if you ask me.”

              “What could possibly make you jump to that stupid conclusion?”

              “Besides you constantly being together?! I was lied to! You’re not supposed to be here! But the fact that you are means you’re clearly more important than I am!”

              “I knew you and your stupid ego were the reason my best friend was avoiding me!”

              “Yeah, fine! I’m the asshole! I’m sorry I got between you and the person I’m dating!”

              Roxas drags his hands down his face. “You’re such a moron. Okay, let me ask you this: how would you feel if they made you choose between them and Sora and Kairi? How would you feel if you were alone and sad but you weren’t allowed to talk to anyone about it?”

              “I didn’t—"

              “Yes, you did!”

              “Well you seem to know a lot for someone who’s just a friend!”

              “You would know all this too if you would just get over yourself and look! But you’re so busy being pissy at me that you don’t even call anymore!”

              “I’m sorry I didn’t want to get in the way of your flirting!”

              “Oh my gods! I’M IN LOVE WITH XION, YOU ASSHOLE!”

              Riku hesitates, but a blushing Xion covers her mouth.

              “But I’ve been taking care of your partner so you could go look for Sora because if anyone’s gonna find him, it’s you! And I thought it’d be fine; we’ll take care of them for a few months and Sora will come back! I thought I was gonna hate them, but no, they’re amazing! And I don’t know how someone so sweet and fun could fall for a jerk like you, but that was none of my business! And yeah, I hate your guts, but I still thought you were smart enough not to neglect someone you love! They were so devoted to you that they were willing to cut me out of their life until I broke in here tonight! They are head-over-heels in love with you but all you’ve done lately is bully and berate them for just trying not to be alone!”

              An empty, sinking feeling begins to descend in Riku’s chest. He’s made a mistake—a very big mistake. Roxas was right about everything and Riku probably could’ve seen all the signs if he were around more often. But because he couldn’t be, all he could do was trust his lover and his anger had gotten in the way of that. The person he loved most had fled and it was his own fault.

              “So what am I supposed to do? What about Sora and Kairi? Am I supposed to just forget about them?!”

              “Sora and Kairi are important,” Xion says. “Nobody ever said they weren’t. But you can’t forget the people who are still here. You need to find a way to balance it all or we might lose you too.”

              “Me?”

              “If they’re so important to you that me stealing them away would ruin your life, then why has everything been about Sora and Kairi?” Roxas asks.

              The realization of his obsession—one born to distract him from his jealousy—hits.

              “I…I’m sorry.”

              The blonde frowns. “Oh fuck off. What are you still doing here?’

              Roxas’s words sound like insults, but it’s actually an order. Without wasting another second, Riku bolts out the door and down the street, hoping he can find his beloved before it’s too late.

~~~Reader POV~~~

              My feet slap against the stone paths, adding to the white noise of the rain. The cool air stings at my skin, but at least the downpour washes away the tears. I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t care; I just need to get away. If I stop moving, I’ll start thinking and if I start thinking, I’ll fall apart—and I’m not ready for that.

              Unfortunately, my lungs can only take so much sprinting before they force me to slow down. They burn in my chest as I gasp for air, though that’s nothing compared to the fog of despair catching up to me. An uneven stone catches my foot, putting an effective stop to my escape. The agony crashes down on me, bringing with it the revelation that my relationship is over.

              Just as the anguish begins to take hold, I hear my name—I hear my name in his voice.

              I can’t do it; I’m not ready to face him in any capacity. I struggle to get to my feet, his rapidly approaching steps fueling my panic. Still, even as I take the first few steps, I know that I’d never be able to outrun a Keyblade Master.

              “Wait!” His hand snatches my wrist.

              “Let go of me! Let go!” I scream. Of course there was no way I was breaking free from his grasp. My fist beats against his arm, all in vain as his grip holds. “I can’t do this anymore! Leave me alone! I said let go!”

              Riku simply stands there, holding me in place and letting me take out my frail frustrations on his arm. They continue to grow weaker and weaker as my shoddy resolve crumbles, until I end up on my knees, crying again.

              “What do you want from me?” I sniffle.

              “To tell you I’m sorry.” Another shaky breath rattles my chest. “You don’t have to take me back—you don’t even have to forgive me—I just want you to know I messed up and I know that.” Even his breath shudders as he kneels beside me. “You deserve someone who can always be there for you, and as much as I want to be that person, I can’t. But I held on anyway. I wanted to keep you, hoping that, once I found Sora and brought Kairi back, everything would be okay. But I never asked you. I just assumed you’d be okay waiting while I obsessively went looking. And I have no right to keep you from being friends with Roxas, especially when I haven’t answered your messages in months. I just…didn’t want to let go of the hope that, one day, everyone I love would be safe and together. And I’m sorry.”

              I don’t have any words for him, not in this state, but Riku pulls me into his arms, muttering apologies as I lament how far we’ve fallen.

              “I…I probably could’ve handled this better too,” I mutter into his soaked shoulder. “I should’ve told off Roxas and I should’ve just told you how I felt instead of implying it. And some of the things I said I knew were out of line…but I was hurt and…” My fists ball tightly around his jacket. “And these last few months really sucked.”

              “I know…”

              The patter of the rain and the numbing cold pull us into our own sullen world with a choice waiting at its end. While I’m afraid of that choice, eventually, I have to ask.

              “What do we do now?”

              He sighs. “I can’t stop looking for Sora and I can’t expect you to wait for me.” Leaning back, his crestfallen gaze meets mine. “So I guess what happens between us is up to you.”

              Our relationship has never been normal, which has certainly served to have its ups and downs. Riku used to disappear for weeks at a time, but when he would visit, those were my best days. And even after he had me relocated to Twilight Town, I figured that things between us would be the same. Even though I was wrong, I thought that this was the rough patch that all relationships inevitably go through and I loved him through every second of the hell. Just as he did, I clung to the hope that, no matter how much we suffered, we would make it to the other side and be stronger together for it.

              But the separation proved too much for both of us.

              “Take me with you.”

              Silver brows pop. “Wha-No. I’m not taking with me.”

              “Then you can’t leave.”

              Trying to find my rationalization, he rests a hand against my cheek. “I already told you, I have to go.”

              “Then take me with you.” My hand pulls his down and I look him dead in the eye. “Those are your choices.” His mouth opens to argue, but I speak over him. “Those are your choices.”

              “But—”

              My hands squish his face. “Those are your choices! I’m not done with you and we are not doing this again. I love you and I miss you and it sucks. So you can either stay or you can take me with you.” I lean in really close. “And I already know you can’t stay.”

              His eyes flicker between mine, looking for the hesitation. I won’t lie, I’m a little nervous. I have no idea what I’m getting into, but I know Riku’s job sometimes leads him into danger. And yet I don’t really care.

              His shoulders slump in defeat; even so, Riku smiles. “Well if those are my only options…”

              Hugging him tighter than I ever have, I feel like I could just cry again from all the relief, and I feel it in from him in return. For the first time in months—even though I’m soaking wet and barefoot, sitting in the middle of the road as the rain falls relentlessly on us—I’m happy.

#kh riku #riku x reader #gender neutral reader