#waffliesinyoface

[tozettastone]

re: australian localization - which naruto character do you feel would use the most aussie slang. because i feel strongly that it would be hidan

I think Hidan is a good shout! He seems very informal. Also, I think he'd use the more colourful phrases like, eg., "he couldn't find a root in a whorehouse."

But for me, maybe Gai, who could use the really old fashioned slang. There's a man who's been fair dinkum running like a cut cat all day. And so on. And so forth. I think it helps that he's already an outlandish character, because I can't actually conceptualise the Australian slang meeting the Naruto vibes very well, haha.

#ask #waffliesinyoface

[mixelation]

my headcanon is that tobirama is 99.9% of young ninja's least favorite hokage because he invented school. the last 0.1% is minato, whose favorite hokage is tobirama BECAUSE he invented school

#waffliesinyoface called him a nerd. and this is correct

[couldlesbiansavethem]

Sakura Haruno from Naruto

Reasoning: "kishimoto paired her up with sasuke in the epilogue which was a real disservice to her character arc. she should have been kissing ino. or karin. or anyone else." (@waffliesinyoface)

#gimmick blog #polls #tumblr polls #pride #sapphic #wlw #lesbianism #sakura haruno #naruto

[wretchedbirdthing]

@waffliesinyoface

looks really great!!!

#if anyone wants the broken robogirl face paint I’ll try to find it #no I don’t have the wings sadly

[exemplarybehaviour]

tagged by the ineffable @tozettastone for this meme

Last song: The Rain Paris cover of Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo. Before that it was the Jonas Brothers lol

Currently reading: In a very boring turn of events, a science book. T_T I did open a fanfic last night but ummm I think I have to stop reading it because it... makes no sense?

Currently watching: Nothing, really? I saw the Barbie movie

Current obsession: Taking tumblr poll data and visualizing it different ways

Uuuuh I hate tagging people but if u want.... @cutthroatpixie @waffliesinyoface @pretty-rage-machine @cardio-vore

#tag meme

[racke7]

tagged by @waffliesinyoface

Three Ships/First Ever Ship: Geez, first ship as in child looks at the screen and says "they're in love", or first ship as in "actively involved with fandom for this ship"?

Because if it's the latter then... it's probably either Inuyasha/Kagome (went looking for fanart), or Sasuke/Naruto (the first ever fanfic that I read).

(The first ever ship that I wrote for is very blatantly Haruhi/Kyon, and you can still find that fic because I believe in archiving stuff.)

So... that's three ships that could all be classified as "my first ship". How's that?

Last Song: Fuck. I dunno. I just woke up, and I remember going on a "AMV binge" right before going to sleep. I dunno where it ended.

But I do remember that I rewatched: "Porter Robinson & Madeon - Shelter" again. It's still good.

Last Movie: Oof. I have no idea. It's been years since the last time I saw a movie. It was probably something I watched with my parents back when I still lived with them, which means that it could probably have been anything at all.

Currently Reading: Kind of in-between stuff? Both in fanfics and manga. It's very frustrating. (Last night I resorted to rereading my unpublished stuff. Cool ideas, weird executions, very short.)

Currently Watching: Nuthin'. Haven't watched an anime in... possibly like a decade? No wait, my sister forced me to watch an episode of that headless demon-detective this summer. Didn't see more than that though.

Currently Consuming: Water. My throat is still killing me.

Currently Craving: An actual fucking fic to read.

Tag People: Alright? @redlerred7 and @qqchurch maybe? If they want to?

#personal stuff #laughing

[waffliesinyoface]

it turns out that if you open my blog as tumblr.com/blog/waffliesinyoface (ie, the popup version that appears over the dash), and you search for tags, sometimes!! tagged posts just dont show up!!!

i went searching for one of my posts about hasami so i could copy it onto a different blogging site and it just. wasn't there. but then when i went on waffliesinyoface.tumblr.com, there it was. blatantly tagged.

#functional fuckin' website LMAO

[veeranger]

waffliesinyoface replied to your post “here are my Riley Reccs™ for steam summer sale Portal & Portal 2...”

DS1 isn't on sale? it's still $40

ok genuinely my bad it’s 50% off for me because i own the original version but i didnt realize that it wasn’t part of the sale

#waffliesinyoface

[gallusrostromegalus]

Okay, so. I'd seen a couple of your stories across the wide hellscape of tumblr (the two I remember clearest are the story of Mazel the Wolfdog, and Grandpa Disposes of a Christmas Tree), but because I hardly ever *look* at the name of the OP on posts, I did not realize that several of the fantastic stories I've read over the years have come from The Same Human Being each time. You're absolutely fantastic, and the word "Cryptid" does not begin to do justice to you, you chaotic lovely person.

I should probably do a “Best Of” psot at some point becuase people keep telling me this.  And thank you very much, that was very sweet of you to say.

#waffliesinyoface

[glowbat]

Eyyy, quick question. Currently drawing a thing based on the TAZ Epilogue. Do you mind if I sorta... lean really heavily on your designs for Lup, Barry, and Kravitz?

hell yeah you can pull from them! Im flattered you like them that much :’)

#waffliesinyoface #nicky answers a thing

[tozettastone]

for the ask prompt thing: itachi/sakura #6

Sakura woke to the fire alarm.

I am going to kill Uchiha Itachi, she thought, in the furious privacy of her mind where she kept all her most antisocial impulses.

Instead of leaping out of her bed and scrambling for her wallet so she could walk down five flights of stairs and stand out in the cold, she lay silently in her bed for ten shrill, agonising seconds. In the apartment to her right, dogs began to howl, but they were almost drowned out by the alarm.

The idea that it might actually be a real alarm this time finally got her moving. She wrapped herself in her blanket, scooped up her bag from beside the door, and shuffled outside to the landing.

The first time this had happened she'd ended up in a long stream of evacuees marching down the stairs at midnight, all in their pyjamas and house slippers and dressing gowns. Her right-side neighbour had been out on the landing, clipping leashes and harnesses to three large dogs to take them along down the stairs. One of them was a lean, high-strung racing breed that had panicked and started screaming in the close, windowless space of the stairwell and had needed to be tossed over his shoulder to come along.

"Sorry," her neighbour had said, smiling with one visible eye over his face mask. "He's a little excitable. Could you hold Pakkun?"

And so Sakura had ended up cradling Kakashi's incredibly chill little pug all the way out onto the street.

That was two months ago.

Two months... and sixteen evacuations.

This afternoon, Kakashi hadn't even bothered to evacuate. Sakura wished she could be as blithely irresponsible as him. He was undoubtedly going to be rewarded for ignoring the alarm. But she worked in the ER and had seen, plenty of times, what happened to people's lungs when Konoha's—historical, wooden, highly flammable—residential buildings went up in smoke.

Now, the evacuees were a trickle, not a stream. Half the building had clearly gotten Kakashi's memo and stopped bothering. So she was really torn between thinking, it had better be a real emergency this time, and hoping it was another piece of burnt toast.

Sakura really did not want to get called in to treat half her building for smoke inhalation. But she also didn't want to be woken up three hours after she'd got off work for another failed stir fry or whatever it was this time.

It was the left-side neighbour who was the problem. At first, she'd been annoyed. Then she'd discovered Uchiha Itachi was hot, which had given her a boost of patience that had lasted through another few evacuations.

Well. Okay. Another one evacuation.

It was winter. The streets were cold. And Sakura? Sakura was way more judgemental on the inside than her external facade ever showed.

Her prurient curiosity led her to some snooping, and then to some gossip. Ino had pilfered some police records and reported back that his parents had been brutally murdered when he was thirteen, which had made her feel bad for being annoyed, and also explained why he was such an awful cook.

And then he'd set off the fire alarms six more times and she'd really come all the way back around to being annoyed. She'd reluctantly concluded that you simply could not be hot enough, or sympathetic enough, to make up for the constant scream of the fire alarm. Especially if you lived next to someone who worked long ER shifts and really valued her sleep.

Now, Sakura was standing out in the cold. Her toes were freezing, because she hadn't put on proper shoes before introducing her feet to the frost. The rest of her was cocooned in her blankets as she stared grimly up at her apartment complex. It wasn't on fire. It wasn't even smoking.

The fire department arrived and inspected the building.

Hoshigaki Kisame, ex-missing-nin turned local fireman of apparently endless patience, had evidently adopted their building specifically. Now he was leaning on his giant sword, playing with a ball of water in one hand, and casually questioning the facilities manager. He had a warm-looking cloak.

Was it an electrical fault?

Was there a real fire at all?

Sakura could have answered these questions, but she stayed silent and only glowered at her building from the street.

Listening closely, she learned that Uchiha Itachi had burnt his instant ramen.

The man in question didn't look embarrassed about this: his unfairly beautiful face was calm and composed as he explained what had, through some insane fluke of circumstances, happened in his kitchen. Kisame-san looked like he was taking this very seriously, nodding along with his head bowed towards Itachi.

Eavesdropping, Sakura learnt that you could burn it to the bottom of a pot, if you cooked it on the stove top, and then eventually it would turn to charcoal and start smoking. And then that smoke would trigger the alarms. And then the building would empty out onto the street while the fire department was called.

Some of the occupants standing out in the frozen wonderland of the streetscape chuckled.

Sakura envied their patience. She looked up at the awnings and wondered if any of those icicles was sharp enough to kill Itachi-san on his way back in. Maybe she could engineer a freak accident.

Itachi-san was fully dressed. His toes looked warm.

They looked like they were going to be here for a while. Baleful and filled with grumpy ire, Sakura wandered off down the street to the welcoming glow and bright lights of Ichiraku Ramen.

"Ah, Sakura-san," said Ayame, looking concerned. "We heard the alarm. Is everything okay?"

As much as she liked Ichiraku's food, Sakura was pretty sure the only reason Ayame knew her name was that she so often accompanied their favourite bottomless pit, Naruto. She lived much closer to the place, but they could have probably kept their whole business afloat on Naruto alone.

"Aa," said Sakura, darkly. "False alarm." She didn't buy anything today. Instead she collected six identical menus, each printed on flyers that lived near the front of the store.

"Again?" Ayame scratched her chin. "Is there something wrong with the wiring in your building...?"

"No." Just the neighbours. "Thank you for your time," she added.

"...You're not going to order anything?"

"I'm sorry. Another time." Sakura bowed, a stiff little caterpillar in her blanket cocoon, and backed out of the store with her hands stuffed full of menus.

By the time she got back down the other end of the block, people were allowed to return to their homes and there was a little queue of mildly disgruntled bodies waiting for the elevators.

Itachi was still talking to Kisame, blank-faced. If he was embarrassed it was impossible to tell.

Sakura took the stairs, despite their inconvenience in the blankets, because it was faster than waiting for the single, ancient elevator.

She called out, "It was a freak ramen accident, Kakashi-san!" to Kakashi's door as she passed—no real answer, but Pakkun yipped—and then shuffled past her own door to contemplate Itachi's.

There were a couple of traps, but unsurprisingly they mostly triggered when one tried to open the door, which she had no intention of attempting. Unhindered by these precautions, Sakura let her blankets dangle precariously off her shoulders while she flicked through seven hand signs at a rapid pace.

In the hospital, you got plenty of ninja who thought they should be able to remove, rearrange, edit or destroy their own notes, and there was a cute little jutsu to stop that from happening.

Now, Sakura used it to attach six Ichiraku Ramen menus to his door. If he wanted to get those off, he was going to have to work for it.

Her message, she thought, could not have been much clearer.

Then she tugged her blankets back up and went back to her own apartment—and her bed, where she slept the righteous sleep of the petty and passive aggressive.

Next time, she told herself, snuggling down into her sheets. Next time she'd simply kill him.

(She was woken again at 6.

She did not kill him this time, either.)

#ask #ask meme #waffliesinyoface #my fic #both of these people are nightmare neighbours

[mixelation]

i will also share with u the absurd toxicity (reborn au au (tm)) rpf lore developed with @waffliesinyoface

point one: obito would not be naturally drawn to fandom, but he IS a troll who likes absurd things, and it's important to him to know what's up with the people in his life. he has read the entirety of icha icha (more than once!) for the simple pleasure of sniping kakashi with a well-placed reference. when tori gets fixated on ninja rpf, he also obviously starts reading it so he can have fuel to tease her.

unlike kakashi's brand of obsession (which is PRIVATE, obito, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS), tori's obsessions crave interaction. you want to talk rpf with her? she is going to drag you down into a terrible vortex of rpf fixations

obviously "driven to making insane decisions for petty reasons" tori is obito's favorite tori. he is SO supportive of her ongoing war against the sasori girls.

obvious outcome of point one: obito becomes a kakashi girl

tori is SO supportive of his psychosexual kakashi obsession. she thinks him working through his feelings like this is good for him. also she likes reading fic

obito is not well-liked in kakashi fan circles when he's writing in under a pen name because he keeps writing kakashi as a damsel in distress in constant need of rescuing due to chakra exhaustion. fangirls hate this because kakashi should be cool and badass all of the time???

point two (horrible realization): in this au, obito retains his uchiha pretty privilege. he's also the infamous loose canon of the yellow flash's students. there's ABSOLUTELY insane fic about him

obito's favorite ship is obviously him/kakashi, but NO ONE writes it right???

yes he and tori are dating. no she doesn't care he keeps looking up kakashi/him. she knows what she signed up for.

in fact, tori inspires him!! if tori can go hunt down a random sasori rpf writer to argue with her, OBVIOUSLY he can go have a converastion with some obito writers and gently push them in the right direction!!

but he has to do it cool and mysterious, see, so they get him. he shows up in the dead of night in his super dramatic madara personality. he just wants to talk. he gives a dramatic speech and throws in some killing intent for Effect

obvious outcome of point two: everyone stops writing obito fic because they're terrified.

tori: realizes there's still READERS for obito fic but no writers

tori: that's free real estate

she's converting. she's an obito girl now. (obito: babe that's SO sweet of you)

NO ONE likes her obito fics either because she writes him as a deeply pathetic whackjob who cries during sex. she gets multiple replies that are like "when will obito show up to murder THIS writer"

instead of being normal she's like "FYI he DID show up in my bedroom but that won't stop me because I AM NOT A COWARD"

third, miscellaneous point: obito is shunned by fandom when he's a faceless person writing in. at in person meet-ups, people love him despite his rancid opinions because he is hot. :'(

tori: PUT THE MASK BACK ON I HATE THIS

obito in kakashi cosplay??? with kakashi's real clothes he stole???

i thought about writing a joke about them going to an in-person fic exchange and people not realizing they're together to mirror the ANBU Party Debacle. however i do not think this is the mood for Torito because they cannot physically resist bothering each other for more than 90 seconds at a time. obito shows up holding her hand so he can swing their arms like literal children. if he doesn't pay attention to her for long enough, tori WILL tug his hair/loose clothing/etc. he attempts to sit in her lap at least twice. they're both super into the other person's rancid headcanons. they are so fucking obnoxious

no one ever matches obito-in-person with obito-showing-up-to-harass-fic-writers because of the insanely different personalities

people are okay with obito in person despite his personality because he is. hot. and a man. and they're a group of mostly women who are attracted to men. do you see? but they still fucking hate tori

a rumor starts that the reason tori can write bonkers obito fic without him murdering her is that when he showed up to threaten her over it, she slept with him. so not only is she annoying, but she cheated on her hot boyfriend (obito) with famous ninja uchiha obito! she doesn't deserve either of them!!!

(obito: that's exactly what happened tho. i gave you my super cool and scary "write better fanfic" speech and you slept with me. <3 / tori, who will never EVER admit she found his stupid "madara" personality kind of hot: (tea kettle noises))

#reborn au au: it's gotten sillier #the torito content you crave!

[lesbiansavingthrow]

waffliesinyoface replied to your post “I’m no expert but a bug that causes a waist to look smaller than...”

it's the same bug that accidentally disabled all the pharamercy lines

lmao

#waffliesinyoface

[crumpettbaggins-blog]

[waffliesinyoface]

So, I had a sudden flash of inspiration and decided to post it while I still liked it. It’s only a short fic, not much more than a thousand words, but that’s about my limit before I run out of steam.

#Touhou #this fic probably makes more sense if you're familiar with Forbidden Scrollery #i think it might be understandable without it but like. it's concerning a somewhat major plot point from there.

[tozettastone]

you know that part in kabu, where itachi's fixing the house up? I was doing something similar earlier today and the entire time i was just like "you know, maybe itachi was right, it IS nice to turn your brain off like this"

Oh man, fair. I also feel this way when, like, something gets delivered at work so I have an excuse to go spend a couple hours of the afternoon opening boxes and making sure [company] didn't get shafted by counting whatever things we ordered and matching it back to the invoice, you know? Sometimes it's good for you to do something mindless for a while.

#ask #waffliesinyoface #kabu