#uve felt like this since i was 5/6
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Everything is so hard. It's hard to look in the mirror. I hate feeding myself too recently. I hate eating. I feel so alone and empty yet full of grief and sadness at the same time
#i wish i wasnt me#i feel too old to still be feeling this way#uve felt like this since i was 5/6#on and off
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youtube
Len model finished !!
His video was suppose to be a black background like rin's was, but i got a little carried away..
Just like Rin, check below for the model progress timeline and video credits !!
Turning Rin into Len ! I'm lazy and i want these two to look very similar, so i just edited rins face and body. Time elapsed: 00:34:53 (his head isn't smaller i just didn't screenshot well.)
2. Struggled drawing Len's hair ! I wouldn't normally include this part in my time, but like. fuck len. tumblr helped pick which one i used of these two blue prints. Time elapsed: 01:07:00
3. Len hair finished ! Why does this man hate me ! Time elapsed: 02:46:44 (almost two hours, huh..)
4. Body rig ! Unlike rin, I decided to rig len from scratch. This is because his base is too different from anyone else's to get away with weight transferring. (significantly shorter than kaito / gackpo, but with a different body shape than rin.) So here's a gif of his silly little arm movin. Time elapsed: 04:08:32
5. Hair Rig / Physics. For all the models (except rin) I've done their hair rig / physics right after rigging the body. This is mostly so i can have a fully optimized base to work off of later when making outfits. For rin i just.. forgot to do her hair lol. anyway time elapsed: 04:34:30
6. Outfit Designing. I didn't time this for rin since that timing was more for commission reference sake, and more clients won't have me designing their stuff. so it wouldn't have made sense to include it. but here we are. Rough outfit sketch. Fuck drawing headphones. Time elapsed: 05:06:05
for all my original models, the concept was more or less blending their design aspects together. (with the exception of gackpo, who's only difference between updates is colors and slight hair changes.)
7. Outfit modeling ! He went pretty easy, since It was just a matter of making parts i already did for Rin. So anything I struggled with last time, i had practice for. Time Elapsed: 7:50:25
8. UV Mapping. I included this step into texturing last time, but I felt like separating it this time around. Basically, i unwrapped all the UVs for the model and laid them out on a texture sheet to draw over. From what i've seen, a lot of people do this differently / in different orders? like they might uv map and then immediately texture the shirt, before moving onto the next piece of clothing. But texturing (using my tablet in general) hurts my shoulders typically, so i try to get it all out of the way at once. So i uvmap before even pulling the tablet out.
Time elapsed: 8:50:48
9. Texturing. My neck hurts ! Time Elapsed: 11:40:19
10. Extruding, triangulating, exporting.. and then spas / toons.
i think last time i included the extruding / triangulating in meta under texturing? But i've decided to break it up this time. Basically, i add depth to parts of the outfit, manually turn quads into triangles on tricky sections (like shoulders and hips) so they're easier to rig. Basically getting it ready for pmx before i export it. Time elapsed : 12:45:23 (left is unextruded / mirrored, right is extruded with the mirroring fixed.)
11. Rigging adjustments and physics ! Basically, used the weight transfer plugin to transfer the weight onto the outfit to match the base. I then cleaned the rig up and added bones / physics for parts that needed them. Time elapsed: 13:40:25
12. Cleaned ! Honestly there wasn't much to do, since most of the cleaning (like renaming bones) carried over from Rin.
Total time elapsed: 13:41:56 !!
Significantly less time than Rin, but that's honestly to be expected. Overall three days worth of work? Since I didn't. actually work on him much the first day.
I've also discovered that my models shoulders tend to disagree with game rip motions (which is why they look so. sharp. in the video), though i've noticed other models doing this as well.. it occurs since most motion rips don't use the rotate bones, but mine are made with those in mind. Kind of annoying, but maybe i can find a work around.
Final thoughts??? He might be my favorite original model right now honestly. I really like him. I might even distribute him and Rin, with expressions to remove their headphones and arm warmers.
Video Credits:
Song: My Love Is Hellfire by SLAVE.V-V-R
Len Cover: XZenvii
Motion: anonRipper, Colorful Palette
Scripts: TearlessHen, thtrandomlurker, minmode, skyth
effects: おたもん, soboro, beammanp, 化身バレッタ, 呉石
#kagamine Len#mmd#MikuMikuDance#vocaloid#valkris does shit#video#model progress timeline#tumblr literally REFUSED to upload this video and it's been. 2 hours. so i gave up and put it on youtube.#i am begging u to watch it at high quality
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bestie i just read your reading list and …… any suggestions how to read more? i have read only 3 books this year :(
omg 3 is a LOT! i work in a bookstore and read their and abt 5 more hrs a day because i have no social life lol but my point is i do books for a living! most of my friends read 12-20 books this year and ur right on track! here’s some advice i hope is helpful! if others want to share their thoughts, pls do
1. i just got a kindle and obsessed and knocking books out left and right!
2. use ur library and dnf books u rnt feeling within ~50 pages! it takes me 3x as long to get through a book i dont love and its hard to motivate myself to sit down and open it. i put this w/using libraries because it makes it guiltless to dnf! i used to buy books and felt like i was wasting $20 if i stopped! now i have a list of the books ive read i want to own and am curating my bookshelf:)
3. join book clubs! my gf has joined 3 since meeting me and reads abt a book a week now, where before they were reading 1 a month. this might contradict dnfing books u dont love but will motivate u to find out the genres u like and step out of ur comfort zone
4. audiobooks! if you can do it, they count and anyone who says they dont is lying! a lot of ppl i know cant do audiobooks; i can only do them for memoirs (where i feel like km listening to a podcast). i recommend libby (free) or libro.fm (ethical alternative to amazon).
5. join storygraph!! it helps u track ur reading and u can put in annual page and book goals and tells u if uve fallen behind! it motivates me to stay on stop of my goal, i want to see my stats grow and diversify, and im lowkey competitive so seeing my friends read im like I WANNA READ TOO
6. find friends who read! nothing like getting a book rec from them! and nothing like sharing ur thoughts abt a book with them! or recommending to them! i love my bookish community and they inspire me to read diversely every day
7. white noise! something ive started doing when reading is putting in headphones and playing white noise. reading gets me out of my head and this does too. i can just focus on the words on the device and i feel like im in my enclosure!
8. invest in a good reading spot in ur home. if u can find a place that works for u, whether it be ur bed, couch, or a reading nook. commit to sitting there for 20-30 minutes a day with ur device on the other side of the room! if u read 30 mins/day u’ll likely finish a book abt every 2 weeks!
9. turn to your book, not ur phone. have 10 minutes of downtime? grab ur book, not social media. these minutes add up and u’ll find u’ll want to pick ur book up more as u get in the habit. especially before bed or first thing in the morning! or if u watch youtube when u eat alone, read instead:)
10. take time picking a book! a lot of my non-bookish friends think they can just pick up any book on the shelf, but as i said in 2. if u dont like the book, u wont read it. do research! if theres an identity you want a main character to have so its relatable, find it! if u know u like YA books, browse that section of ur library. this is also why storygraph is so great- it recommends based off taste and a personalized algorithm! theres also a lot of quizzes and lists (bookriot i recommend) to find books! it takes time to find ur book preferences, but once u do, it will be easier to feel success in reading!
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Animation skills
Week 1
This week we where introduced to maya. We learnt how to manipulate shapes which was hard to wrap my head around at first, but with practice over the weekend I got the hang of it. I learnt that if you smooth out a a shape it creates more faces and corners theirfore you are able to make more intakate shapes. I found this out when experimenting too try and make my church, however I smothed it out to much at first but I was able to g o back.
Week 2
The beginnings of our design where due this week, so I just practiced using a reference whilst building my church model, which helped with building the different forms and shapes of the church. However one thing I did struggle with was creating holes in shapes, this is something I should improve on in the coming weeks.
We where meant to have our final shape however mine got deleted, I was struggling to create a church anyway so this was my opportunity to try something els. I felt a space ship would be a good way to create different shapes.
Week 3
I we where using uv mapping on our objects since mine was a space ship I chose an electrical surface image which I then uv mapped on to the s[ace ship the problem was that because their where so many faces on the space ship with varying shapes and sizes, the lengths and surface areas of the faces varied a lot, so sometimes the texture showed up slightly pixelated, so when I went onto uv mapping I managed to make the texture look proportionate to each face.
Week 4
This week we provided lighting and rendered our objects, we learnt the different types of lights we could use, and that we could make them different colours.
I had to be particular in where I positioned my light as to not drought half of my space ship, but to evenly light it whilst highlighting the many crevasse and shapes in the surfaces. I opted for I blue and a pink as I felt they worked best with the silver texture of my space ship.
When rendering the ship it turned out darker than expected, so I had to go back ad use stronger lights.
Week 5
This week we began out walk cycles. We began by first observing other people walking whilst observing the way the legs moved then the arms, and how they moved together. The teacher got us to some life drawing studies of people walking, although we where drawing frames.
We started off with a basic stick walk and where shown some examples.
We where then set a task of creating a character that walked in a Sertain emotion.i wanted my character to walk in a gruff of moody way. When drawing him he slowly became a skin head. I didn’t want to work with thin limbs so I designed him with baggy clothes, I wanted to try and animate creases in the clothes as he walked.
Week 6
This week we started to animate simple stick men. I didn’t realise that I would also have to think about zoom in and zoom out and also the height of the person when walking. First I focused on the legs having the back leg black and the front leg white so that I could differentiate them. Then I worked on the arms which moved along accordingly with the legs I took into account that my characters arms may move different as he is holding a different emotion after I had finished both the arms and the legs in the lesson I went onto plan what my character would look like, I decided that he would have his hands in his pocket and have his head low and peering forward to make him appear gruff and moody. I would have his legs stride forward to also bring in a sense of obnoxiousness.
Week seven
This week I began to start my main character walk. I wanted him to look like my character turn around so I traced an image of my character turnaround and imported it into Adobe animate as the starting frame. This made my character look more illustrative when animating I kept his face the same focused on his, arms and shoulders as I wanted that to be a big swing in them I mainly focused on this week.
Week 8
This week I’m falling behind as I need to complete this animation however I am not finished. I think this is due to my lack of time control this week I’m focusing and reviewing his whole body as he moves and once swift walk. i’ve made a bigger dip in his stride. He moves further down in his walk and up again quickly to give off that sense of stride and Gruffness. i’m yet to add colour or finish the animation completely so that it is walking in the same place. This is something I’ll have to catch up on in later weeks.
Week 9
This week we learnt how to use after effects which I have used before but needed more of a reminder of how to use it give them templates to use and learn how to move them different directions. I got the hang of this fairly quickly and began to sketch up, my background.
Week 10
I have been ill a lot this week, so I haven’t managed to get that much done on my background so this lesson I have mainly been sketching my background. I like the idea of an alien setting. I’ve looked back in my sketchbook. Some of my old world building references took a number of elements from each and was able to divide something on my iPad at first I put in the big shells, however because of how detailed they are it would’ve taken a long time to draw them and I wanted there to be a gift in the after effects animation so I wanted to keep this simple simple so I drew a black stick cat walking like a human without a tail and began animating that.
Week 11
This week I started my final Adobe effects animation. The teacher had to help me a lot with the software in the end as I didn’t know as much as I thought I did however I wanted to keep the animation simple in it so I didn’t need to do anything to complex as the setting of my background Didn’t need it. I had trouble at first with the speed of all the components moving together. I wanted my cat to move at a normal and natural pace so I needed to make sure that the ground wasn’t moving too fast because at first I’m move the ground too quickly and the cat was walking at a slow pace so it made it look like the cat was gliding across the floor, which I didn’t want move slower and slightly quicker at 13 frames per second as were as before it was working at 11 frames per second.
The cacti were moving at the same place as the ground as they were connected to the ground. I’m not only use them to create depth but also create any patches in the background as the background had to be doubled and flipped. It created a deep line in the middle but looked very off and unnatural so I use the cacti to cover this line as to make it look more natural. The clouds were something I wanted to emphasise in this animation so I made them move very quickly in the opposite direction of the way the cat was walking. I use this to my advantage by adding wind sound effects which created an experience of a storm which is something I wanted to achieve.
Week 12
I am on a tight schedule and last time I checked I couldn’t find my finalised video of my cat walking on the ground. This may be because it was on the original computer. It’s just something I’ll have to check tomorrow otherwise I’ll have to do the same animation again tomorrow.
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Project progress update 2
A lot has happened these last couple weeks. As I’ve been working I’ve been taking notes and screenshots here and there to record my progress. Here is what I’ve been up to.
Designing, and posing characters Weeks 4-6
9/11/22
I posed my first character Adda and took pictures. For all my other characters, I use the same process once I finished their hair and clothes. I hit the photo icon on the top right of Vroid Studio to start. When taking pictures of your Vroid model, you can put it in pose mode. I did this to move the character up, frame the camera around them, and pose them. I also adjusted the picture size to a width - of 881 height - of 720. Then I made the background color #04F404. This makes it special effects green color that you can remove to have a transparent background. I save that pose, name it character (mood) bring the image to - https://www.remove.bg/upload to get rid of the background. Then I save that photo to the respective asset folder I made for that character (character name expressions).
Uploaded assets to Headkanon.com. (Plus google drive)
- note about Adda’s design its supposed to be fun and dynamic like her.
9/12/22
I discovered you can recolor texture using color calibration
Saving different variations of eyes and skin for each character
https://vroid.pixiv.help/hc/en-us/articles/4405438979225
9/16/22
I created Bindi's hair from scratch using the presets I initially used as a reference. It took me a while to figure out how to do a braid. I used one of my failed attempts at braiding as a part of Bindi's design. Now she has braided hair and twisty hair.
Image of me posing Bindi (9/19/22)
For Bindi's dress I exported the guide and design template
Brought them together in Krita
Exported again as jpeg
I emailed it to myself to use as a guide in ibis paint
Then I sent it back and put it in Vroid.
Bindi is supposed to be in cosplay. I don't have her cosplaying as anything specifically, but I did want to her clothes to seem like that of a fantasy character. I randomly decided to go with a fairy princess flower theme.
I also worked on other two main character’s Niko and Kaleo's shirts.
Like I did with Adda, I am continuing this practice with other characters, bringing in the design from my phone and getting it to fit in the UV map. I'm using different techniques to get the design to fit. For Adda's shirt, I warped the perspective; however, for this shirt, I'm doing a different warp technique where I grab different points and stretch the shirt in different directions. By doing this, I can ensure that when I bring this texture to Vroid, the shirt will be in the correct place to display over the shirt. I'm also using liquify, which essentially spreads the shirt more freely.
I tried a different approach for the Mom's shirt. I did her design in vroid studio, then copied the layer multiple times, applying various effects like lighten, darken, etc. I also used the teardrop blur brush to make things look better. The lines are not as lovely when drawn on the computer.
I like how it came out.
For the Mom's design, I unconsciously used my Moms two favorite colors (black and red) and her birthday as an inspiration. I also used the color pink with hearts because my Mom was born on Valentine's day, and pink is just a cute color to have with hearts.
Within Week 5, I finished posing the main characters since their shirts and hair were done.
This is how I felt while doing it. It's really not the same as posing a character with rig controls in Blender.
- Kaleo's hair, as you can see above was kind of tricky to design. I wanted it to look thick and poofy and have a lion mane look. I also adjusted his face to look more Hawaiian.I looked up images of Hawaiian guys and used random pictures as a reference.
- Kaleo shirt has a lot of triangles in the design; this was inspired by the traditional patterns Hawaiians would stamp on Kapa cloth
There is also a lion in the center, which references the character's name and love for lions.
This is how I felt when I finished doing it.
Niko's shirt is not too flashy. I used cool colors. This reflects how Niko wants to be calm and not draw attention to himself. The effects and brushes I used give the shirt a fluffy texture. Niko wants to be comfortable, and his clothes reflect that.
Now for the side characters. 9/24/22
I decided to make Edwardo's shirt in vroid. I made his hair thick which is somewhat plot significant.To me, he looks like a popular kid in school
I made this design a while back in ibis paint. I brought it into Krita, ensured it covered the shirt area, and then imported it into vroid.
I was thinking along the lines of Hawaiian shirt/Japanese aesthetics, which ended up fitting the boss character who I made Japanese. Fall is a significant season; it reflects impermanence as the leaves change color and dry up. Granted, in Hawaii, we don't experience this. I'm a huge fan of autumn leaves, and Ibis paint had a leaf brush that I went crazy with. Note that the purple at the bottom is supposed to be transparent; however, when I save it as a jpeg, it turns out like that. If you bring a png into vroid, the design will look faded, so I save them as a jpeg to keep the design looking vibrant.
I Did the same thing for Bella's design. I made it in ibis paint. I should note that I was able to achieve this pattern by using the symmetry kaleidoscope tool. In other words, you have a bunch of lines repeating ray-like lines, and when you draw between these lines a pattern. The pattern you draw is then repeated several times over. I also really love getting crazy with different effects like glow, bevel, color contrast, etc.
Rather than doing what I did with the boss's shirt, I decided to have the design overlap itself. The small square design on top covers the torso portion of Bella's dress, and then behind it, the rest of the dress is covered by a larger design. Then like I have for the other designs made outside of vroid, I took this design along with an exported UV map of Bella's dress and ensured the design covered the entire area. This was a bit of a gamble, but when I brought it into vroid, it looked pretty good, to my relief.
9/25/22
Keyon's shirt was made in vroid. I was trying to make a plaid shirt. It doesn't look plaid, but it looks good.
Cara's design, like Bella's, was a case of me having fun with the symmetry kaleidoscope tool. You can adjust the number of times the design repeats. You can also turn it off and add to it, which I did. Like I did with Kaleo's shirt, the design fits within the main body of the shirt, so I have to use the liquify tool to spread it outwards for the sleeves to be covered.
I had to add some props to some of the character expressions. I started with Kaleo, whose pose calls for taking notes with a pencil and notebook.
I used this method several times of selecting the hand in the original layer, then going back to the layer with the object in it and erasing the highlighted part so that their hand looks like it's going over the object.
Some other examples
Editing the story
- Story 1 Has been reviewed once over by people I know. (Sep 11-12) Poll questions were modified. A psychologist I know pointed out that people don't want to look bad when publicly choosing an answer. The way I wrote some of my questions made it seem like you'd be a jerk if you didn't put a specific answer. She suggested I have some questions not be multiple choice, so the viewer has to type in a response. I also got help from my brother, a law school student (writing is his bread and butter) plus, he was once an editor for a college magazine, so he gave me some tips on grammar/wording. On top of that, I use a program called Grammarly.
-I also went through the script of story 3 with my brother (Sep 21). I changed the poll's wording and audience response options and went to the other stories to tweak them. I also checked with Grammarly for the first two stories to see how many seconds it takes to read each part and their respective poll questions. So far, each part is under the max 90 seconds, except for one part that is 3 seconds over. Now I'm just reviewing all four stories and editing the grammar and tone.
Poll questions
As I mentioned in my previous update, I got some excellent advice from UH West Oahu's Gloria Niles before I started writing my questions. She advised that I use the questions to ask the audience how they would feel if they were the character in the story or if it was someone they knew. Perspective-taking is the key. If I can get the audience to understand the character and imagine what it's like to be them or know them. Ideally, that will cultivate some understanding. Another thing I was advised to do is address the disability that's being represented. So I also made questions that say this character has such and such and explored that within the question. By that, I mean encouraging the audience to imagine what it's like or describe how they would feel. For example, one of my questions for story 3, which talks about autism, is this -
"How would you feel if you were Kaleo and had no idea why people were annoyed with you? What would you do?"
When you have trouble reading nonverbal cues, as some folks with autism do, it gets confusing. I'm fluent in vocal English, but my silent English isn't great. It's almost like you are a foreigner in your own home.
Finally, yesterday I changed the dialogue box to a default option that mimics subtitles.
With all the character’s done now, what I need to do by week 8 Oct 11th.
1. Get approval
2. Finish editing the stories
3. Change the expressions of the characters throughout the story - would write a cue in the script like - Adda happy.
4. Get some background images
5. Record each clip to bring to Instagram
Finally, I will keep doing my best.
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Week 9 - Prototyping
I was really keen to get into this week's content, as it felt as though the product was approaching its finished state. I had a pretty strong idea of the bottle concept I wanted to go with, so I used Rob's advice in the initial stages of the tutorial to make a template of the bottle on its top, front and side views (Image 1). I think that really paid its dividends as it allowed me to have a reference of the bottle's volume and size, but still allowed for a bit of creative freedom when creating the forms in Max.
After aligning my views and importing the reference images onto the planes of the box (Image 2), I started with the modelling of the front view. I found that working in one view at a time was the way to go, because it meant I didn't have to split my time between the three sides at once. I started with a plane and blocked out the outer edges of the form (Image 3), adding in the swift loops I learned from last week's tutorial, as well as the general navigation of the UI. I liked the amount of control I was starting to develop with 3ds Max, and I think that from last week, my skills have improved with more exposure to the program.
After the initial plane, I used the extrude tool to give it depth. When modelling, I decided to only focus on one half, and then mirror it over to the other side. I think its important to try and get concepts done as fast as possible, and I didn't want to overinvest on something that is meant to be experimental. I was having a lot of difficulty trying to connect the mirrored halves together into one solid mesh, so it took me a bit of time to find the answer on the Autodesk forums. I ended up finding a useful video on YouTube which instructed me to use the 'attach' tool when selecting both bodies to join them, and then bridging the edge loops together in the poly modelling tools. Although it was an arduous process, I think it was well worth the learning experience, and something which can be implemented into my workflow in the future to speed up my time modelling.
To create the taper on the side view, I used my discovery of the 'soft select' tool from last week to scale in the bottom section of the bottle (Image 4). I truly believe that the week 8 tutorial was pivotal in my understanding of the program, and it was really rewarding to use all of my experimentation practically. I then used the spline and lathe (Image 5 + 6) features to make the cap, tracing the reference image from the front view. I realised I forgot the bump at the top of the cap in the reference, so I added it into the lathe operation.
After the model was finished, I hid the reference layers (Image 7), and decided I wanted to work on rendering out my bottle design. I started by playing with the material editor in the Arnold rendering engine (Image 8). Before trying to play around with lighting and angles, I just wanted a base render of the bottle to see what the translucent material looked like. It was at this point that I ran into a sizeable issue. Using the MyAccess suite, 3ds Max was refusing to render anything out, and crashed multiple times before I gave up. Instead of trying to get the virtual machine to work, I switched to Blender on my PC. I was disappointed that I couldn't render anything through MyAccess, but I was comfortable with blender, and knew that I could make something which I was happy with.
I made a small pedestal out of a cube, and placed a bevel modifier in the exact same way I would in 3ds Max. Since I had made the jump to Blender, I decided that I wanted to add some branding decals to the surface of the bottle to make it look realistic. After, I UV unwrapped the model, and designed the branding in Photoshop Images 9 + 10).
I applied some textures and shaders to the bottle after preparing the decals and UV's. Browsing on Pinterest for inspiration, I found a frosted plastic which I really liked, so I modified the default Principled shader (Like Blinn or Lambert in Arnold) to pass light through; duplicating and scaling the bottle's body to create the moisturiser inside. I set up the three point lighting and camera angles for rendering in Cycles (Image 11 + 12).
Overall I was extremely happy with how these turned out, but at the same time I was disappointed that I wasn't able to improve my rendering skills with 3ds Max. Despite not using Arnold/Max as the renderer, I still learned a lot about product rendering and staging; as it is something I haven't had to do often. If I could redo these exercises, I would definitely get 3ds Max up and running on a stable platform so that I could render it out. I would also try a few more bottle concepts, and utilise the mirror feature more efficiently now that I know how to use it.
Pre-Class Activity: Andrew Simpson Cup Case Study
I found it extremely insightful when Andrew spoke about the continual and ongoing nature of designing prototypes. Digital and Physical model making both provide the opportunity for rapid iteration and 'tweaking' of ideas. What resonated with me most was when he discussed the importance of weight, and how the object "sits in your hand". Like his cup model, I believe that the physical foam model was influenced by how the form felt in my hand when carving it out of the block.
One stark comparison between Andrew's workflow and my own in this instance was the materiality of his concepts. Obviously, his concepts had a greater range of physical materials and product concepts, but I did my best to simulate that in 3ds max and Blender. Being in lockdown, it is quite difficult to source different tools and methods of production; so I think digital modelling really shines in this instance. Being able to try different materials, colours, finishes with the click of a button really works well with Andrew's mindset of low fidelity and rapid changes. In design, nothing is a static feature; everything plays a role in the perception of the final product.
Watching this video before working on my models was valuable, because it taught me that it was ok to deviate from the initial concept, and to go back and changes to try and enhance the product. It is a goal of mine to become more proficient and confident in every stage of design, and I found it really interesting to gain wisdom from someone who has been in the industry for a lot longer than I have.
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Flow hot takes
1. PW and Flow are the best singles we've had since SR. Every single song has felt complete i.e., LAYERS (that change throughout the song), choruses with LYRICS (no woahs oooohs aaaahs disdisdisplays), interesting bridges that go places without being obnoxious for the sake of it. Also no chipmunk voices (by Nakata standards). The gritty bass line is also a big plus. As long as Nakata maintains this level of output the next album has a chance of actually being a really great album. I just pray he doesnt do a 180 and butcher the current era's direction like he did with FP.
2. The MV is terrible and all the more frustrating because it actually had all the ingredients of being good.
3. MV street outfits are great (im gonna ignore the pink/white ones i have accepted that terrible costumes are the norm now). Its cool that theyre experimenting with the braids too. And the color palette of the VFX looked really fresh and theyve never had this sort of style going on before.
4. But then it's bogged down by all the stupid choices. Why aren't they singing? Because it's a "dance video"???? Okay and??? Are DF and Flash etc not dance videos too????
5. And if this is a dance video why are they obscuring said dance with all the visual effects??? (greatest offender is the blocky nonsense going on around the 30s mark) I know this shit was rushed out in a week but please.... I dont even expect anyone on the team to use their entire brain anymore, but please, even one brain cell will do....!!!!
6. Lack of glamour shots (close ups) makes them feel really distant. Yes i know faraway flowing clouds and all that, and i was always the first to complain abt excessive glamour shots, but this has just swung to the other extreme and its not good either. Literally whats the point of trying new hairstyles with braids if i cant fckin see it!!!! The excessive effects sure arent helping either!!!
7. That last 30s looks cheap af and highly anticlimatic as compared to the rest of the video. I also dont understand why they had to go out of their way to make a physical set when the CGI going on at the start of the video looked so much cleaner and better. Who is approving these budgets???
8. I think this video is kinda the culmination of all my problems ive had with their direction in recent years. Over reliance on "technology" and whatnot. Like yeah its cool but im also watching perfume content for perfume. If i wanted to see a tech demo id watch a fckin tech demo. At no point should showcasing the technological gimmicks take precedence over showcasing the members and their personalities.
9. And that leads me to something ive only just realised. When was the last time uve seen them look like they actually enjoy dancing in their PVs??? MoL???? I just did a quick dive through their videos and Ive come to realise that ever since theyve shifted from tokuma to universal theyve been trying to take on some cool emotionless doll android big sister image or whatever and like Okay. But why cant we have both???? Was the charm of perfume not always that they can switch between being fun and quirky as well as being cool and badass??? Post MoL it seems like they dont even smile anymore while theyre dancing. Sure a resting bitch face looks cool, but given how excessive its gotten it just feels so devoid of personality and life.
10. Something something practical effects quirky and full of personality something something CGI is everywhere now none of what theyre doing feels special something something jurassic park aged well because it used practical effects something something their older videos are much more fun to watch and much more replayable (i still think IYW is perfection but id still rather rewatch/show people VOICE or FNG etc)
Tldr songs good video bad but who cares i just need the music to be good
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Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 11 - De Orfeo Records
Summary: Sunset Cure AU, Willex, is there a chance?, 2.8k
@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends
WARNINGS: death mention
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10
Reggie and Carlos were running around in the middle of taking down equipment after their latest gig. Luke shook his head as he wrapped cords over his arm and placed them in a storage box. Alex, however, was nervously trying not to get run into as he carried various pieces of his drum set out and handed them to Bobby in the back of the van. He could forgive Reggie not really helping out since he was taking responsibility for the kid, but also hadn’t anticipated that their energies combined would put him more on edge.
As he went inside to grab the last piece of his set, he found that Reggie had taken his flannel and tied it around his neck like a cape, with Carlos wearing his leather jacket in a similar fashion. They approached Bobby, who immediately joined their game and they pretended to battle each other. By the time Alex had finished getting his whole set in the van, they were playing out a dramatic victory over defeating Bobby.
“Guys, this is great, but we really should finish packing up,” Alex said, although he was smiling from the entertainment.
“I guess you’re the next bad guy we fight,” Carlos said in a mock-deep voice.
“We can schedule it later, Robin,” Alex teased.
“Oh, no, he’s Batman,” Reggie corrected. “I’m Robin!” He put his fists on his hips in a proud superhero pose.
A big SHHHHHH came from Luke and they all looked over at him to see what was up. He was far off by the venue office, holding a phone to his ear and writing onto a notepad. His eyes were wide with excitement, and his energy was only held back by the other hand tapping against the paper. The boys watched as his smile grew bigger and he said goodbye, barely putting the phone back in place properly.
“YEEESS!!” he cried, raising his fists into the air in celebration. They all came running toward him to see what had happened.
“Boys, we’ve got good news!” Luke told them. Looking on in anticipation, Alex gripped his fanny pack tightly. “One of the record execs that came tonight is offering for us to sign onto their label and put out some songs! He even heard our demo!”
Everyone celebrated, jumping up and down and high-fiving each other. Reggie let Carlos climb onto him in a piggyback and they both yelled triumphantly. Luke pulled Alex into a bro hug, then Bobby. Alex held his arms up and placed his hands on top of his head, unable to believe what had just happened. Euphoria filled his head like helium and he went to double-high-five Carlos, who was still perched on Reggie’s back.
“So what else did they say?” Bobby asked, still smiling.
Luke had to shake off some more excitement before he could explain the rest.
“Ahhh, so he said we could meet in a few days to discuss business and contracts and such, let us get a look at the studio and stuff. I got all his contact information and he’s totally excited to get us on. We’re moving on up boys!”
The celebration continued, and their renewed energy caused the rest of the take-down to go by much faster. They were still riding the high as they drove home. Alex listened to Luke talk about which songs they would want to record first and where they would land on the charts. He remembered that feeling he had back at the Pearl during their sound check. Doing that? For real and not just dreaming and hoping about it? They hadn’t made it just yet, but this was a change he could be excited for.
Reggie had been staying with Carlos, which the rest of the boys figured was a good excuse to not stay home. As Bobby pulled up to the house, he and Luke began climbing out of the van. Carlos and Reggie were already inside.
“Uh, guys?” Alex said, still in the back of the van. They all turned back to him. “What are you doing?”
“Oh,” Luke gestured like oh-silly-me. “We all decided to stay here for the night. It’s just a nice change from the garage and Julie’s aunt has lots of leftovers that need to be eaten so…”
“So...I’m grounded,” Alex reminded, raising his eyebrows. His parents hadn’t been happy about him sneaking out to the pier the other night.
“Screw your old man, Alex,” Bobby said.
“Yeah, he can eat my shorts if he tries to do anything about it,” Luke added.
Alex took a moment to think. Disobeying wasn’t going to do anything for or against him at this point - he kept anything truly important to him out of his parents’ reach and since he’d gotten the punching bag he could actually contend with their tempers. They couldn’t punish him in a way that mattered.
“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” he said finally, following them into the house.
They found Reggie and Carlos already raiding the kitchen.
“Alex, you’re staying too?” Reggie said when he saw them enter.
“Yes!” Carlos cried, pumping his fist. “You get to make popcorn. Tonight, the Empire Strikes Back!”
“Oh yeah, baby!” Reggie responded as the rest of the boys began following orders from Carlos. Alex wasn’t crazy about Star Wars, but eh….young Mark Hamill was hot so he didn’t mind too much. He was sure most of them would fall asleep during the movie anyway.
A couple hours later it turned out he was right. Carlos was slumped on the floor leaning back against the chair Luke was sitting in, hand still in the bowl of popcorn. Luke was leaning on his hand, breathing soundly. Alex had watched earlier as Bobby’s head flopped onto Reggie’s shoulder and the flustered look that had overcome Reggie’s face, and it was too good not to smile at. Once the VCR began automatically rewinding the movie, Alex shut off the TV.
He stared at the ceiling as he pulled the handle on the La-Z-Boy he was in and reclined into a somewhat comfortable position. Even now, weeks later after meeting for only a day, the first thing he wished he could do was tell Willie the news about the record label. He probably would have been just as ecstatic as the rest of them, if not more. Victoria would be back soon and hopefully have some news. He guessed it didn’t matter if he’d been right about the missing kid, but maybe just knowing if she got to talk with Willie would be enough.
The memory of soft brown eyes still rose in his mind. He’d been doing his best to keep that moment cemented in his brain because he’d noticed it helped him sleep. It was funny because he’d done the same thing with the guys, but staring into Willie’s eyes had been an entirely different experience. Alex wished he had the proper words to describe it, but the best he could do was marvel. Willie was clearly unaware of the strength he held, and it made Alex want to bring that out with his entire being. If he ever did get the chance, that would be something worth looking forward to.
Victoria didn’t arrive until the afternoon the next day. Since Alex felt that she had gone because of him, he made everyone else clean her house as well as they could. No traces of food on the floor, no messy beds, and the kitchen was cleaner than when they had found it. As she came back into the house, she put a hand over her heart.
“Wow!” she exclaimed. “I should take trips like this more often if you boys are this good!”
“Yes, tía, please, please, please let them babysit me again! Pleeeeaaassee!” Carlos begged with his hands pressed together.
“Ay, sobrino, no me quieres?” she shook her head.
“No, I do!” Carlos tried to recover. “But they’re fun!”
As if to make a point, Reggie rubbed a hand on Carlos’ head.
“It’s okay little dude, we’ll be back.”
Victoria pulled her wallet out of her purse.
“Well, you boys took very good care of him and I promised I would pay you, so here you go.” She handed each of them a generous amount of cash. Luke, Reggie and Bobby all whooped as they thanked her and headed to the van. Alex held back with anticipation. Victoria looked at him seriously.
“There was no connection,” she told him before he asked. “His guardian explained everything to me, and there was nothing else to go on. I wanted to know because I thought I could solve an old case, but I had to let it go.”
“Well, did you get to talk to him?” Alex tried not to sound too urgent.
“You mean Willie? No, I never saw him. After talking with his guardian I didn’t need to.”
Bowing his head, Alex made himself swallow his other questions. She had at least tried.
“Thank you,” he said. “I’m sorry if it was inconvenient.”
“I chose to go, don’t worry about it,” she assured.
Nodding and saying thanks one more time, Alex hurried out after the rest of his friends.
A few days later, the boys slammed the doors of the van shut as they looked up at the building before them. It was so plain and simple on the outside; they never would’ve guessed there was a studio there. It was likely they had driven past it many times on the way to a gig. Pushing through the door, they all looked at the logo in neon lights on the wall: De Orfeo Records.
Collectively, the boys took in awed breaths at the reality of where they were standing. This was too good to believe. Alex took in the scene, trying to imagine this being a place he came to regularly. Could he ever get used to it, or get over the sheer excitement of just being there? Luke patted him on the back, desperately trying to contain himself. They wandered through the halls a little bit until they came to a room where the door was sitting open.
“Oh, boys!” A man called as they almost walked past it. “In here!”
As they all shuffled in, the man shook their hands and pointed them to a couch where they could sit. Alex nervously stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he took a seat. The man across from them was dressed surprisingly casually, if not with obvious expensive taste. He still had sunglasses on, but their yellow tint was clearly not for actual UV protection.
“Nice to meet all of you,” he was saying. “My name is Alan, I’m one of the producers here at De Orfeo. Which one of you did I talk to on the phone?”
Luke raised his hand.
“That was me,” he said, already gushing with excitement. “How’d you hear about us, anyway?”
Alan didn’t answer, but instead looked up at the doorway as someone else came in.
“Hello boys!” Caleb Covington entered, his charismatic smile spread wide across his face. “So nice to see you again.”
Alex’s heart rate immediately sped up and he clenched his hands inside his pockets. How could it be? He thought his last chance to reach out to Willie was gone and seeing Caleb brought back everything he hadn’t been able to ask Julie’s aunt. All the guys were happy to recognize him.
“I won’t be staying for the negotiations,” Caleb said. “but I wanted to properly introduce myself as the owner of this label. I want to assure you boys the best experience as newcomers in the industry. Let any nerves that still linger walk right out the door.” His eyes landed on Alex for a moment, and it felt purposeful. “Take it away, Alan.”
Listening to the producer’s pitch was difficult to focus on now, and Alex had to fight hard against his brain latching onto the new hopes that had arisen. He was thankful that when paperwork came out, Bobby was mindful enough to have them read through it. It was taking too long, though, and Alex was already wishing he had his drumsticks in hand to help pass the time. Reggie had so many questions, and Luke had trouble understanding numerous words - at least that kept Alex occupied because he could be helpful in that. A good hour had passed going over all the information.
“This looks great!” Luke said finally. “How are we feelin’ boys?”
Each of them nodded and looked around at each other, confirming that they all agreed on every settlement. Luke grabbed a pen and pulled his copy of the contract toward him, pausing momentarily to drink in what was happening. Then he signed his name in giant letters. Alex, Bobby, and Reggie followed suit, and Alex could feel a weird tingle rush through his hand as he made the final flourish with his pen. They were all in now.
As the band began celebrating, Caleb knocked on the doorframe.
“If it’s alright with you boys, I wanted to speak with Alex privately for a moment,” Caleb said, gesturing for Alex to follow him outside the room.
His curiosity was at the point of overflowing, and he went out trying to control his trembling hands. Maybe Caleb had talked to Willie after all. This could be his way to bridge that gap and he wouldn’t have to live off of just memories.
Everyone else was still going nuts over getting the contracts signed back in the room. Standing in the lobby, Caleb was looking at him seriously, maybe even pitifully. It quickly drained the exhilaration in Alex’s chest.
“I can tell you’ve been wanting to ask me some questions,” he began. “But before you do, I thought it was best to inform you of some important details first.”
Alex looked up at him with his hands back in his pockets and gulped. Why was his heartbeat suddenly so loud? He knew Caleb couldn’t actually hear it, but it still embarrassed him. His mouth began to go dry.
Caleb furrowed his brow, as if what he was about to say wasn’t easy to get out. He bowed his head and took a breath before looking at Alex again.
“Willie,” he started. Then he paused. “Is dead.”
The trembling in Alex’s hands stopped.
He stared at Caleb, as if he could pull off the serious expression and find a joking smile underneath. It was a few moments before he remembered to breathe in, and blinking seemed to cut that moment into two as if the first one wasn’t real.
“No, no, that can’t - ” he heard the words spill out of his mouth. Why was his body so tense and ready to defend itself? His cheeks felt hot.
“I know the news is hard,” Caleb interrupted, placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I can hardly bear it myself. There was an electrical fire. He didn’t make it out.”
Alex could only shake his head. Caleb’s expression wasn’t changing and for some reason it was the most infuriating sight. He could punch that face and make him bleed if he really wanted to. The adrenaline was already rushing to his fist.
“There has to be a mistake,” he said, chuckling darkly.
“There is no mistake,” Caleb told him firmly.
How was the man so calm? How could he say those words out loud and not immediately crumble to the earth? How could he have worn such a large smile earlier?
“I know you two weren’t friends for long, but he made it clear you were important to him.”
The words came through as if from a tiny speaker. They’d only gotten one day and it wasn’t enough. Willie couldn’t go like that, he simply couldn’t - not when Alex needed to know if they could’ve ever had something real. He still wanted to know so many things about him and look into those brown eyes and soften the hard edges on them. He needed to -
He was crying. On his hands and knees, trying to get the dark shadow that had grown inside his chest to come out. It made him choke. Caleb had apparently left him alone, unable to console him, and he felt hands on his back and shoulders as he fought to properly breathe. Luke was knelt down before him, mouth hanging open in want of words but not able to form any. Bobby was gripping his hand and supporting him as he and Reggie pulled him up onto his feet.
“We need to get him in the van,” one of them was saying.
Any movement from there was not his own. All three boys were trying their hardest to help the tallest member of their band out of the building. Everything was numb - like a machine that had broken down after being run too hard.
The brown eyes faded into darkness, murky and thick. There was no air in his lungs to scream into that dark, no tie-dye, no rolling of wheels on the sidewalk, no ‘ribbit’, no more wondering and hoping.
Dead quiet. That was all.
#julie and the phantoms#jatp#fanfic#jatp fanfic#willex#alive au#alex mercer#willie#luke patterson#reggie peters#bobby wilson#carlos molina#aunt victoria#caleb covington#tw death mention#sunset curve#viva las vegas#de orfeo records#fiddlepickdouglas
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Happy Preservation Week! (Part 5 :)
Hello again, and Happy Preservation Week, everyone!
This is the 5th and final installment of our Preservation Week 2021 blog series, if you missed Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 or Part 4, feel free to check them out first!
In our previous post (Part 4), I described the preservation of a set of unexposed Daguerreotype plates and the original wooden box they were issued in. For those objects, I made an (admittedly) complex preservation enclosure that will keep everything safe in storage, but it might be a little confusing to the next person who opens the box. Sometimes it’s hard to make a simple, easy to use preservation enclosure… you find yourself making a series of “simple” decisions that snowball into something complex and baffling!
In this, our final Preservation Week post, I’ll discuss a preservation enclosure that needed to fulfill a lot of different requirements, and the object that it houses is one which I never expected to find in a library! This object is part of the Outpunk Archive at NYU, which contains materials from 1989-1998 relating to Outpunk (both the zine and the queercore music label). While most of the collection consists of papers, photographs, and music recordings, there are also several T-shirts and ...a skateboard!
Apparently, a member of the Riot Grrrl movement owned and adorned this skateboard: one half of the top of the board is spray painted white, and the words “FIGHT HOMOPHOBIA” are spray painted in orange on the other half (Photo 1). Lots of stickers, self-adhesive labels and zine-style xeroxed drawings are pasted to the bottom surface of the board (Photo 2). This person probably lived in San Francisco in the late 1990’s, because one drawing asserts that “The Mission Bay Project SUCKS!” (Photo 3).
A few of the papers are bright yellow, orange or green, and these glow brightly under UV, suggesting that the papers contain daylight fluorescent pigments (Photo 4). These pigments look unusually bright in sunlight because they absorb UV radiation and reflect it back to the eye as visible light. While we were examining the top of the board under UV, we found yet another message hidden beneath the white paint... at one point, the owner of this skateboard believed that “FASHION IS A SCAM”, but she later decided to paint over this message (Photos 5-6).
So... why the heck was this skateboard in the conservation lab? Well, it’s a lot bulkier than the average library book, and since the wheels work perfectly we couldn’t just leave it on a shelf! We needed to give the skateboard a preservation enclosure to keep it from rolling around in the stacks, or being mistaken for an NYU student’s property. Most of all, we wanted to give the skateboard a preservation enclosure to prevent its minor damage from getting worse: the plywood board is cracked and splintering at one corner, the sandpapery grip tape is flaking off around the edges, and most of the stickers and drawings are torn and/or curling. We briefly discussed whether we should perform a little conservation work to stabilize these parts of the board; in the end, we decided that we didn’t want to obscure evidence of the skateboard’s use, and everything was stable enough to withstand gentle handling. ...Some may be thinking, “COME ON, it’s a skateboard! This is ridiculous.” To that I say, it’s part of an archive now! We have to treat it carefully, so it lasts a long time. :)
The library’s curators are interested in showing this skateboard during classes, and it’s possible that the object will be requested frequently in the Special Collections reading rooms. As you may recall, the main purpose of my Daguerreotype enclosure was to keep all of the components safe during storage and transit, but the skateboard’s enclosure needed to fulfill two additional requirements: it needed to be simple enough for anyone to unpack/repack easily, and because the skateboard is double-sided, the enclosure needed to function as a double-sided display mount. Under the supervision of Jessica Pace, Preventive Conservator, I created a simple preservation enclosure that would protect the skateboard and allow the curators to safely display either side.
We started by ordering a custom archival box with a drop-wall, which allows you to remove a bulky object more easily (Photo 7). Because the skateboard is a bit heavy and awkward, I also made a handling tray from cross-laminated sheets of archival corrugated cardboard. This tray (Photo 8) allows you to pull the skateboard out of the box, rather than lifting it. I also adhered strips of corrugated board to the bottom of the tray which adds a little more rigidity and allows for air-flow underneath when the tray is pulled out of the box. We decided it was best to store the skateboard wheels-down, so we had to find a way to prevent it from moving around in the box, or rolling off a table. Jessica thought it would be easiest to create bumpers on either side of the wheels, so I experimented with pieces of “Ethafoam” (low-density polyethylene foam, Photo 7). I cut four narrow strips of Ethafoam, and I wrapped them in a sheet of Tyvek fabric to prevent the foam from shedding bits of plastic inside the box. I used low-melt glue to adhere the foam to the handling tray, and I attached a pair of cotton pull-tabs to either side of the tray, to help people remove it from the box. The foam bumpers not only keep the skateboard stationary, but they can function as a display mount when someone wants to see the underside of the board. You can see the final enclosure in Photos 9-10, below:
Again, this was purely a preservation treatment, because the skateboard is in fairly good condition, despite minor damage. We chose not to repair this damage because it reflects the owner’s use of the skateboard, and the damage is not yet severe enough to threaten the object’s structural integrity. This simple preservation enclosure will prolong the life of the object and allow for conservation treatment in the future, if that becomes necessary. It may seem a little strange to treat this 20-year-old skateboard as though it were an ancient relic! I’ll admit, there were times when it felt a little absurd to apply my book and paper conservation skills to an object that (on the surface) looks like nothing special. If all goes well, however, the skateboard will survive for as long as the Daguerreotype plates or the 16th century parchment book... if so, the skateboard will teach future generations about late 20th century feminism and politics, queer history, punk rock, and alternative transportation!
Thank you so much for reading about our preservation activities at NYU Libraries this week, and thank you for supporting your local libraries!
Happy Preservation Week,
-Cat Stephens
#PreservationWeek#Preservation#Conservation#Libraries#SpecialCollections#TodayInTheLab#NYU#NYULibraries#AmericanLibraryAssociation#ALA#NYUIFA
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Humans are Space Orcs “To Deep Space.”
I am finished with university, had my last final yesterday, so we will be moving back to the normal writing schedule, yay!
I have no idea where this arc is going tbh, but it is going to be good and I am excited. I hope you guys will enjoy it as well!
“Dr. Adric, Dr. Adric please report to the bridge.”
He stepped from his office wondering what they could possibly need him for there. He had just been trying to get his office situated when the call came out. He set down his papers on the desk and made his way into the ship looking around as he made his tentative way towards the bridge. The ship was roomier than he thought it might be, but still rather small, he wondered how that affected the people on the ship.
He knew that they had to keep plants aboard the ship for the crew’s mental health, but he honestly wondered how much that help. Overhead he was assured the lights were UV in nature to mimic the sun and stave off depression after long months of being trapped inside a metal tin can hurtling through space. Not one was really sure what the effects of deep space on a person.
They knew that being lost in space could result in mass hysteria as demonstrated by the Commander’s own crew and malfunctioned civilian transport, the likes of which had apparently driven themselves to cannibalism in their panic and confusion.
He had read the reports, it was both disgusting and fascinating.
He paused just inside the bridge turning to stare with wide eyed at the men and women positioned at their consuls arrayed in a semicircular pattern against the outside edge of the room. A second tier comprised another smaller set of consoles for about four people, and just above that was a single raised chair.
The captain’s seat.
The room had been designed with both hierarchy and function in mind in that the captain’s chair could look down on all the other chairs with the ability to see what his crew was doing at all times.
And right now they were prepping for launch.
“Engines.”
“Engine one through six online and reporting no malfunctioning cells Commander.”
“Check them one more time. Crew manifest.”
“Four hundred and eighty six confirmed crewmen, sir.”
“What does the manifest say?”
“The same.”
Dr Adric tilted his head watching as the crew worked, but specifically watching the commander. The man spun this way and that, giving orders, taking information, and all the while making quick check-marks in a little black book he held in one hand. He seemed at east in his chair.
The chief weapons officer, the Drev named Sunny, sat at her station despite not really needing her at the moment, and he could see over her shoulder that she was also doing a weapons check for the ship.
The commander turned in his chair spotting the doctor and motioning him over.
He came confused not sure what he would be needed for.
“Commander?”
The man smiled, an expression that fit well on his face. Despite his youth, the doctor could already see laugh lines, faint and barely visible beginning to form around his eyes…. This was a man used to smiling.
“Take a seat doctor, and strap yourself in. This will be an uncomfortable assent.”
“What do you mean?” He wondered in confusion.
“I generally let all new recruits sit on the bridge for at least one launch or warp. I feel it makes the experience real for them instead of just expecting them to use their imagination. Besides, who doesn’t want to watch a ship launch.”
He was a bit surprised but of course he nodded walking over to the indicated seats and strapping himself in with the five point harness. He continued to watch the crew work. The bridge itself seemed to run rather smoothly under the direction of the commander, and from what he could tell the crew seemed very excited to be off.
“Engines ready, commander.”
“Fuel cells engaged.”
Commander Vir reached for his microphone broadcasting his voice throughout the ship, “Alright you beautiful hooligans launch begins in T minus one minute. Please strap yourself and any loose items down and keep your hands and feet inside the ship for the duration of the ride.” He cut off his mic smiling.
Dr Adric watched closely.
“Ground control this is Harbinger preparing to liftoff in T minus 55, do you copy.”
“Copy harbinger. Launch is ready for go standby on grid line trajectory Alpha two niner one one preparing for liftoff over.”
“Thirty seconds.”
He gripped the seatbelt hard teeth gritted watching as the rest of the crew braced themselves as well. The commander flexed his hands sliding his fingers into the flight gloves and hooking his toes onto the pedals. The holographic shield popped up to cover his eyes.
“launch in 10, 9 ,8, 7, 6, 5.”
He gripped tighter.
“4, 3, 2, 1, “
“Launch.”
The force of the rising ship slammed him back into his seat as they were born skyward. All around them the ship seemed to vibrate and rattle. His chest felt like it had a carton of bricks stacked on top of it and a little black circle was beginning to encroach at the edges of his vision.
Somewhere, someone in the room was cheering. Past his vibrating eyes, he could see the commander valiantly fighting to bring the ship into the sky despite it’s immense bulk which had never been designed for gravity. Eyes wide he watched as the eggshell blue of a perfect day morphed before them and grew darker until space stretched out before them like a pair of waiting arms.
“Prepare core for warp. Navigations.”
“Yes commander?”
“Warp Coarse.”
“Sagittarius A. But not to close! Keep to the coordinates the smart guys gave us” he repeated very suddenly looking very nervous all things told.
“What’s in Sagittarius A?” He wondered
The commander turned in his chair one eyebrow raised looking almost incredulous, “you don’t know?”
The rest of the crew shifted very nervously, he could see it on them though there were hints of excitement.”
He shook his head.
“Our primary directive on this ship is deep space exploration. We are a military vessel, but we hold trillions of dollars in scientific equipment aboard this ship, as such we have been tasked by the UNSC in accordance with the NASA foundation to head to Sagittarius A and take the first close space images of the supermassive black hole at the center of the milky way.”
He felt his hands and feet go suddenly cold.
“B but how can you take a picture of something that sucks in light.”
“The accretion disk of course and then the massive black spot at the middle.”
“But if we get to close….”
“Yes yes doctor, I have been flying in space long enough to know what happens if you run amuck of a black hole. We get sucked in and suspended forever in a slow spiral of doom as time slows down and our bodies are slowly ripped apart atom by atom. Please we aren’t getting THAT close. Even I’m pissing myself just thinking about it, but also super excited to be honest. No mess ups this time which is why the ship has been checked to hell and back to make sure it’s working.”
Not for the first time, he was beginning to wonder if he was psychologically stable enough to be on this mission as it seemed you hat to be just a little crazy to want to do this. Maybe that is why a high percentage of people on the ship had presented with psychological anomalies, least of all the commander himself.
How he hadn’t gone mad with fear regarding the eminent death that surrounded them constantly was a mystery.
“Warp core?”
“Ready for ignition sir.”
“How far out are we.”
“Almost to the warp zone sir,”
Dr Adric rubbed his temples. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to see a black hole. What kind of psychological effects does something that powerful have on someone, knowing that if you are caught in its gravity well you are done for in the most horrible way possible, and just looking at it from a distance he imagined would be like watching a bear or tiger out in the wild accept for this was different since the bear could now swallow stares whole and the tiger ad gravity so immense that not even light can escape it’s center.
“Preparing for warp in ten.”
He closed his eyes
But they didn’t stay closed as the countdown continued opening for a moment as he felt the space around him go strange. When he did he nearly lost it as his vision seemed to be looking through a glass fish bowl all warped out to the sides and stretched, far things looking close, close things looking far. Outside the window a massive spot appeared before him and around it the stars were morphing and repeating.
The ship reflected back a thousand times in fractal images.
He yelled in shock clenching his seat, and then, it was over.
He was breathing hard, outside there was nothing but blackness, and the emergency lights had flicked on over the crew.
The captain unbuckled his seat-belt and stepped down onto the floor.
He turned to look at Adric who was gripping the seat so hard his knuckles had gone white, “Nice work, first time I warped I definitely pissed myself so, good constitution.” He patted Adric on the shoulder. The blue Drev stood, and the commander grabbed her by the shoulder hauling himself up onto her back.
Adric watched as the two of them walked away.
How strange.
He was in for seeing a lot of strange things in the next few days. The commander and the blue drev spent a lot of time together, and often he rode on her back. At one point he walked in on the crew having a jousting contest where two drev ran full tilt at the other while the two crewmen brandished brooms.
He walked out of his room more than once to find the commander heelieing down the hall at the head of the bridge crew giving orders.
When that wasn’t happening he had run amuck of a freaky group of spider creatures being taken care of by a dog and a very strange humanoid creature who claimed he could read minds. He hadn’t believed it until it started repeating his inner thoughts back to himself.
Instead of being freaked out he found himself almost envious. If he had that kind of power imagine the sort of things he could do to help his patients.
Everywhere he went it seemed as if something strange was happening.
One day they were playing an aggressive game of keep the balloon off the floor and the next they were using window markers to drawn on the viewing field. As expected from a group of soldiers it turned into a heard of inappropriate doodles until it looked as if their ship was cruising past a heard of winged space dicks.
And he himself kept a close eye on the crew. None of them seemed bothered by the fact they were in deep space, but many of them had strange habits.
The commander and the Drev named Sunny spent an excessive amount of time together, or so he thought, the little doctor never relaxed, and couldn’t to save his life even when he tried. Conn, the mind reader, did his best to get attention by pissing everyone off, and the spiderlings, as he had come to know them, were constantly acting up as well.
He would need more time to get used to the crew, but it seemed as if he had his work cut out for him.
If he could hold himself together that is.
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If you could take creative control of ninjago what would you change
Christ...
WELL
Actually no idk where to start with this there’s so much anon there’S SO M U C H I guess I’ll do a run of MINIMAL changes tho (for as long as I can)
I don’t think I have to change much in the first two seasons, thankfully, since the writers actually sat down to think about what they were writing at the time but g o d did it go to hell afterwards
Season 3 - This Zane focused season is going to be ZANE FOCUSED DAMN IT. We’re focusing on his loss over his Father, having salt rubbed in the wound by having his father’s work turned into an evil army, and being faced with the fact he’s obsolete compared to it all. He keeps trying to stack up numbers to win, recalculate things, and it’s why his line at the ending ACTUALLY has impact. The thing that sets him apart from the nindroids, his ability to love, is what allows him to defeat the Overlord.
Jay, Cole and Nya love triangle is DESTROYED. Pixal, Zane and Cole is the new love triangle and later OT3
Season 4 - The explanation for the other EMs being around is far less stupid. Garmadon establishes that oh yeah all of your parents had elemental powers and even talks about a few of them because holy SHIT. Cole mentions his mom because he should have done that a g e s ago. Is this supposed to be a Kai season doesn’t feel like it. Open the season with better explanations of why the ninja split. Emphasis the fact that Kai blames himself for what happened to Zane, and continues to do so throughout the season. Add that to why he’s so desperate to save Skylor from her dad (not willing to lose someone else). We still lose Garmadon, Kai and Lloyd have a talk at the end of the season. Also ZANE IMMEDIATELY GOES TO GET PIXAL A NEW BODY WTHHH????
Season 5 - Idk this season was pretty good over all I think. A bit better lore established into the cloud kingdom, hints that they don’t actually control fate they just think they do. Explain where the FUCK NIMBUS CAME FROM?? Water can still beat up ghosts but idk feel like there should be some other factors involved, some magic. Kai and Zane figure out they can make water a LOT sooner. Also why doesn’t Kai just set the preeminent’s house armor on fire??? Should have. OH I did forget since this season is supposed to be for NYA GETTING HER WATER ELEMENT how about she actually GO WITH THE NINJA AND DO SOME SHIT SOMETIMES??? I don’t mind her training, specially Ronin helping her but like??? Wtf why not have her ENGAGE, idiots.
Season 6 - I’m the weirdo who actually likes season 6 but that doesn’t mean it’s not without its issues. I don’t mind Jay wondering about where he stands with Nya but his behavior throughout the season has to stay consistent. When he agrees with Nya he needs to let it go he needs to LET IT GO. IT LITERALLY SHOULDN’T BE BROUGHT UP AGAIN UNTIL THE LIGHTHOUSE. He also needs to linger more on his birth father (and besides he should have suspected he’s adopted since season 4 cause he knows neither of his parents had lightning powers). Zane doesn’t ignore Pixal’s warning about Nadakhan but if she’s off somewhere else idk how she gets threatened I’m sure Nadakhan could figure it out. OH and time can still reset and stuff idc but like, Jay and Nya need to talk about it and they need to GO BACK FOR ECHO. EVEN IF THEY DON’T FIND HIM THERE.
Day of the Departed - just wish it was longer tbh, but major changes: Why do the ninja not seem to care that cole is FADING OUT OF EXISTENCE and Lou should be a lot more worried about his son.
Season 7 - I mean, it’s mostly a trash fire, but I think it’d be a lot more enjoyable if they actually had good sibling dynamics going on. Acronix following his brother because he always has, but starts questioning their plans as things go. At first their relationship is much better, which is why they best Kai and Nya, but by the end that flips over. Actually have Kai and Nya having an ISSUE. Kai thinks their parents could have been traitors, Nya seemingly doesn’t care because she’s so wrapped up with her samurai x stuff being stolen. They end up fighting and don’t make up until the boiling sea. ALSO GIVE RAY AND MAYA A BETTER FUCKING EXCUSE FOR BEING GONE THEY COULD HAVE FUCKING SHANKED KRUX WHEN HIS BACK WAS TURNED GET OUT OF HERE HE HAD NO LEVERAGE.
Also Machia isn’t dead okay she’s just in the past she WILL COME BACK
Seasons 8 and 9 I’d say are pretty solid honestly? My minor changes: Garmadon isn’t Garmadon he’s a fucking fake get out of here with that shit THE REAL GARMADON WOULD NEVER. We actually learn where Mr. E came from I don’t even care if it’s just Harumi and UV talking about how they found him in a scrap heap and got him fixed just give me something. Stop treating Dareth like SHIT. Ronin and The Commissioner plan a jail break long before they’re let out in season 9. Teen Wu is a lot less... air headed. Like seriously he seems to have more logic when he’s a child it doesn’t add up. I’m not saying he has to remember everything but wth?? Oh, and Mistaké isn’t dead fuck you.
Season 10 - ............................................ delete it and start over. Literally, hate all of it, get it out of here. Four episodes for villains you built up like FUCK in the last two seasons??? All of them fucking as big as people???????? cowardly, weak, uninspired, I don’t want it I’m just going to have to redo this whole gd season.
A) Oni leader is a QUEEN now and she can be up to 30 feet tall no I do not give a FUCK
B) Fake ass Garmadon is revealed to be a different oni entirely he was an agent for the queen the whole time but never finished his mission
C) She can still paralyze a bunch of people but man Lloyd you’re going to need more than a shiny tornado to fight her off.
D) In fact you need to summon your other great grandma so the two of them can get over their divorce spat.
E) Where’s the mask of vengeance bring that back into play.
F) Mistaké shows back up to help.
I suppose plot wise it can?? Mostly run the same but I think they’re going to have to run much farther than the city with how fast she spreads her reach. Also she’s weak for Lloyd because he’s the smol great grandson and he has to use that to his advantage to slow her down. Mistaké makes something that can unparalyze people and they get some of their allies back before the finale thank god. Faith isn’t just in a coma the whole GD time.
Season 11 - Fire half? Good. I need a much better reason why the ninja go to the never realm tho because wow did they just make everyone out of character in that last episode. The ninja have no reason to just ignore Wu and shove him out like that. Wu has no reason to NOT NOTICE LLOYD IS BREAKING INTO HIS ROOM WHEN HE WAS KICKING THE NINJAS ASSES IN THE FIRST EPISODE. Ice half?? ... h Yeah no they should have known Zane was the emperor from the start LMAO. Or at least suspected the possibility. The decades of time passing??? Deleted. Maybe give it a year. Idk why it’s just Lloyd snapping Zane out if why aren’t the other ninja involved like p l e a s e.
Also kill Vex with an ice spike, thanks.
Season 12 - Over all I liked what this season had going but there... should have been more. And that ending felt so crunched together like damn... Unagami was a p cool villain at least BUT idk, despite all the focus on the plot so much of it didn’t feel tangible enough. Even if we’re going to focus more on the video game world I want to see more of what these NPCs are up to. Should have tossed in a couple of filler episodes.
Also can someone just kill the Mechanic too SMH (and they should have tied Wu up in something sturdier how did he not just break out of that WHATEVER)
Suppose I’ll stop there I haven’t season season 13 yet.
Oh, the timeline itself needs some fucking work too. At least establish Wu and Garmadon’s sudden aging. At least establish how old Zane is (I’d believe he was built 40 years ago but I find it hard to believe he was active for all of it). Establish that yeah the FSM really did basically fuck off like idk 14 years ago and idk why the show acts like it was so long ago it couldn’t have been based on the other facts we know have Wu learn that his dad is a bitch ass motherfucker and he needs to ditch.
Honestly there’s more but like................. this is the simple version
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Let me earn your trust (Kamilah Sayeed & MC)
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Book: Bloodbound (property of Pixelberry Studios)
Pairing: Kamilah Sayeed & MC: Amy (I do not own those characters, they're the property of Pixelberry Studios as well)
Warnings: angst, sorrow
Rating: Mature
Author's note: I'm not a native English speaker, I'm sorry for any mistakes (feel free to correct me).
In this chapter, I focused more on Amy and her feelings.
~ 1600 words
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Chapter 7
Everything moved extremely fast for Amy. The pungent scent of blood filled the room when Adrian walked in from the elevator. He carried a young woman with long, purple hair, barely breathing.
Amy quickly spread the blanket on the couch, where Adrian gently laid down her friend.
Amy's heartbeat stopped as she kneeled beside Lily, resting her hand on the girl's bandaged arm. Amy calmed her own breathing to listen to Lily's. She observed a friend's chest merely lifting. Lily's eyes were still closed like she was in a sweet sleep. Sweat, bruises, and dried blood all over her body.
"God, Lily," Amy said with a weak voice. "I'm so sorry for dragging you into this shit."
She noticed a small move of girl's eyelid. A hint of hope traveled through Amy's body. Adrian sensed it as he spoke, stating a fact.
"She lost too much blood," the vampires stood behind Amy's back, "I thought you should have a chance to at least say goodbye."
This is not happening, we are talking about Lily here, Amy's thought's argued with each other inside her mind. She hid her head in the soft material of Lily's uniform. She inhaled intensely, stopping tears from escaping her eyes. Amy could smell Lily's perfumes beyond the blood.
How could she possibly deal with her death? It was not fair, it shouldn't have been happening. Lily was the most innocent in all of this.
She should have another chance, Amy thought. A cold shiver crossed her body when she realized what she came up with. Amy knew how selfish it was of her to even consider this idea.
"Please," Amy lifted her head, eyes focused on Lily's chest, slowing dangerously it's movement, "turn her."
"What?" Kamilah frowned immediately. "You can't require us to do this."
"She is the most important person in my life," Amy turned to them, her hand resting on Lily's shoulder as if she was too afraid to let her go even for a second. "She is my only family. I can't live without her. I can't let her die."
"She would be dead either way," Kamilah's eyes darkened in anger.
Adrian stood there, speechless. He remembered too well how it felt to lose a loved one. Flashbacks raced through his mind.
"I'm begging you," Amy didn't give up. She knew exactly, what would make them change their mind, "I will do everything for you. It's an opportunity for you to find out more about Bloodkeepers."
Kamilah has already made her mind. She was against turning someone without their agreement. She was against turning anyone at all. The only chance Amy had was Adrian. She reached out for his hand, catching his eyes. A pleading expression wrote all over her face.
They looked at each other for another long second, until Adrian made his decision.
He came closer to Lily's body, kneeling before her. He bit his own wrist. Blood poured out of the wound.
"Adrian," Kamilah's warning voice, "you know it's not how it should be done. You will have to explain it later to the Council."
Adrian gasped, making Amy afraid that he would hesitate. Then, he neared his wrist to Lily's mouth, making blood run down her throat.
"I know," he swallowed nervously, "My only hope is that she is worth it."
These last words he spoke while looking at Amy.
Amy felt a little more reassured that her friend will be alright. At the same moment, she knew what it meant to her own existence.
I made a deal with a devil, she thought, swallowing nervously.
***
After a few minutes, they arrived at Raines Corporation. Sun was slowly rising since it was about 7 a.m. They drove in Kamilah's car, which windows had protection against UV and were darker than usual.
During the ride, Adrian explained to Amy that they needed to put Lily in the sarcophagus. That's the procedure preventing newly turned vampires from becoming ferals. Amy found out from them that ferals were technically vampires, but their only desires were to feed and kill. Keeping Lily's body in the dark, enclosed space for at least 6 hours should be enough to stop her from turning into feral.
"What if she will become feral?" Amy asked after they closed the sarcophagus with Lily in it.
"Then we will have to kill her," Kamilah always breaking bad news.
"There is a good chance that she won't turn into feral," Adrian gave some hope. "Anyway, we have six hours to find out."
***
They left catacombs of Adrian's company. At the moment they step out of the elevator to his office, Amy felt increasing guilt in her chest.
How could she wait there for another six hours?
Amy looked over Adrian's office while he and Kamilah walked further from her talking silently. She placed her fingers on the table. No dust at all, the same as at Kamilah's penthouse. Was it a vampire thing?
"She shouldn't be here when Lily wakes up," Adrian's whispered.
"Why shouldn't I?" they forgot about her sensitive hearing. "Yeah, I can hear you."
Kamilah smirked for a second, barely noticeable.
"If Lily turns feral, you know that we will have no choice," Kamilah said, "You would rather not look at this."
"And if she will not?" Amy crossed her arms, her eyes looking confidently at Kamilah's.
"Then, she will be remarkably hungry," Adrian answered, making her look into his direction. "Smell of your blood under the skin will affect her enough to drive her crazy. As newly turned, she will be nearly as powerful as Kamilah," the woman raised her eyebrows doubtfully. "As I said, nearly," Adrian prevented the argument. "She will be as strong, as I'm for sure. If she drinks your blood, her power will be increased. It would leave us no other choice than to kill her."
That was everything Amy needed to hear, to make a decision. If her presence could cause Lily's death, she wouldn't risk it.
"Okay," she said and wrote down her phone number on a piece of paper that she found on Adrian's desk. "Text me when she wakes up."
Both of the vampires stared at her, confused. Speechless.
"You know how to use phones, right?" Amy wondered for a second.
"Of course, we do," Kamilah frowned. "I don't understand, for what reason should we do that when you are already beside us."
"I won't be," Amy left her note on the table and made her way towards Adrian's private elevator.
"Amy," Adrian stepped in front of her. "Where are you going?"
"I'm pretty sure that Lili would like to change her clothes, at least," she remembered blood over her shirt. "I have to pay our rent, and take care of plants in the apartment."
"We had our deal," Kamilah reminded.
"Yeah, I know," Amy clicked the button with a sigh when Adrian stepped on the side of it. "I'm going to follow your rules when you uphold your end of the bargain. Lily's not turned yet, and since I can't trust you entirely. I need leverage."
Amy entered the elevator and turned herself to face them.
"By the way, let me live this six hours as Amy," she let out a breath," not Bloodkeeper."
When the elevator went down, both of the vampires looked at each other.
"She is smart," Adrian grinned widely, surprised.
"I agree," Kamilah rolled her eyes, "and stubborn as hell."
***
Amy stepped into her apartment. She looked around the dining table, where usually she saw Lily sitting on her laptop.
You acted like a nerd sometimes, Amy smiled at this memory.
She looked over this small space. The living room combined with the dining room and kitchen. Three doors led to the bathroom and each of the girl's rooms. Their flat was utterly cozy and messy. Nothing here would suggest that one of its residents was a supernatural human, and the other one was going through a transition of becoming the vampire.
Amy headed to her own room and picked up a backpack from under her bed. She started packing her own clothes and some useful little things that she would need within days. Then, she moved on to Lily's room and did the same with her wardrobe.
It was hard to believe and understand what was happening with Amy's life right now. Her hand began to tremble when she traced her fingers over one of Lily's clothes.
Her best friend was dead. It hit Amy.
She sat down on the bed, hiding her face with hands. Those were the facts. Kamilah was right, turning Lily into a vampire, would never return her life. Even if Lily survives the transition, she could be mad at Amy for taking this decision from her. What if she would never want to talk to her again?
It was hard for Amy. Losing the closest person in her life was like losing the meaning of life. All the memories returned to Amy's head. Times when she and Lily met. Both lost and unwanted. Lily was the only one that she trusted, the only one that could cheer her up. Amy would easily trade places with her if she only had a chance to do so.
Get a hold of yourself, Amy, she thought angrily.
Amy stood up and wiped away tears from her eyes. She had another 4 hours to pass. She began cleaning the apartment, getting lost in her thoughts.
***
Sometime later, Amy changed her clothes. She was wearing simple jeans and a light, rosy hoodie.
Amy stood in the bathroom washing her face when she heard her phone ringing, she looked at it to see the text message from an unknown number.
"It's done."
Next chapter: 8
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tag list: @onyxgaytrash
#kamilah sayeed#kamilah x mc#kamilah#bloodbound kamilah#bb kamilah#lily spencer#adrian raines#vampires#bloodkeeper#bloodbound#choices bloodbound#choices bb#choices stories you play#choices fanfiction#choices fic
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I have eczema too do you have any tips on dealing with it?
ooooof. ok content warning for discussion of Gross Things and injuries and lowkey self-harm below the cut
so. I grew up with like, SEVERE severe eczema. as in, huge open sores all over my arms, legs, hands, feet, and sometimes neck/face/ears. ones that never went away. my quality of life was…not great, lol. I frequently got staph and other infections, I had to wear long pants and long sleeves at all times, it hurt to shower or bathe or swim and salt water was RIGHT out, people avoided me because my appearance grossed them out, and still other people (frequently adults and teachers) saw the injuries and assumed I was self-harming, which. I mean, the scabs were itchy as fuck, and I frequently scratched them open (gross gross GROSS and yet I still did it!) so in that sense it sometimes…was? but was also a very involuntary and physiological medical condition, so when people who didn’t know me told me it was self-harm that felt horribly dismissive of my feelings and agency. (like…to this day I still couldn’t tell you if it was self-harm. maybe it was part self-harm and part medical condition, I have no idea.) basically it was a lot of discomfort, a lot of pain (to this day I have a freakishly high pain tolerance) and a lot of gargantuan struggles with self-esteem, body image, and social stuff.
people (including many doctors) also told me I would “grow out of it.”
I did not. some people do, but like. come on asshole that’s not a fucking solution, you expect me to sit here covered in scabs until puberty maybe fixes everything? shut the fuck up steven
what happened to me was that my mom is a fucking terminator who did tons of research and eventually, through sheer persistence, got me in to see one of the best dermatologists in the area. this guy took one look at me and went, “yeah, you need UV treatments.” so that is what I got, for about 2.5 years during middle school—basically went twice a week to get zapped by an upright tanning booth. sometimes had sunburn in the dead of winter. it was weird (and it isn’t for everyone because there is of course the risk of skin cancer), but it eventually worked on all but two areas: my right hand and left foot. took another year of trying to treat those two places with medicated bandages and shit before they finally gave up and injected steroids directly into my hand and foot, which hurt like a biiiiiiitch but worked within weeks.
so that was pretty much my Eczema Journey. by high school, I had gone from walking around bleeding all over the place (seriously, jasper would’ve killed my delicious ass SO FAST, what the fuck is a papercut lol bella get on my level) to having a pretty good quality of life, my eczema reduced to “irritating dry skin.”
today, 1/9/20, to take stock, I have:
gross dry hands because it’s flu season and I’ve been washing them a lot
perpetually chapped lips
one (1) cut on the corner of my lip that has been there since december and refuses to heal ugh
which is like absolutely nothing to me, I spend every day so grateful that my skin has been basically fixed and now does its one (1) job of holding my blood and guts in
before I was Cured, there were a couple of things dermatologists had me do that might help you
…they didn’t always help me but here they are
1. mineral oil baths. they are gross but they will leave you feeling like a snail (effervescent) or a greased pig, or a p*rn star because you’re covered in slippry slime lmao. it’s supposed to help form a barrier to protect your skin? idk man sometimes these made me itchier but I’m just one person
2. chlorine bleach baths—please note that this means A TINY AMOUNT OF BLEACH diluted in water, not a bath in 100% bleach lol fucking ow. these are good for killing bacteria and preventing staph infections, etc.
3. going to the pool. same deal as the bleach bath, the chlorine kills bacteria.
4. get some sun. UV rays in the right amount are good for eczema, as my particular case proves. but like, don’t get skin cancer. it’s a balancing act.
things I still do now that I’m Cured
…and have a normal, manageable level of eczema (some of these are no-brainers but idk your life so bear with me)
1. moisturize constantly. I never leave the house without a travel-size tube of moisturizer. I moisturize every morning, every night, and as needed throughout the day. this requires keeping a giant thing of moisturizer by my bed like some kind of gross h*ntai-addicted teen boy, but whatever that’s a sacrifice I have to make
2. ALWAYS moisturize after getting wet in a pool/shower/etc. like, within minutes. PAT your skin dry, don’t rub, and then moisturize immediately.
3. but also? don’t get affected areas wet that often if you can help it. take sponge baths rather than showers sometimes, or shower in cooler water. when it comes to avoiding washing your hands without spreading Spanish Influenza et al, hand sanitizer is your friend.
5. use a generic, non-cosmetic moisturizer. I can’t stress this enough. I am currently not on any prescriptions, which means I get my stuff over the counter. but my skin will absolutely not tolerate ANYTHING with any kind of cosmetic-y chemicals that make it Smell Nice or whatever. no aveeno, no neutrogena*, no…see I don’t even know what other brands are because I don’t use any of them. brands I use: cetaphil and cerave, and that’s IT. this goes for shower gel and other skin products, too! basically, the less Fancy and nice-smelling something is, the better it probably is for your skin.
*the one exception is neutrogena’s “sensitive skin” sunblock. that is the only sunblock I’ve found that doesn’t irritate my skin. is good.
6. same deal as #5 when it comes to laundry detergent. most brands will irritate your skin, so look for something labeled “sensitive skin” or “free and clear,” etc.
7. fabric softener bad. do not use
8. for lips, I’ve heard aquaphor is good. hasn’t really worked for me, I just use regular chapstick and apply it like every 5 minutes. dermatologists have also recommended I use vaseline, but I don’t like to feel slimy (see #1a)
9. not to sound like a Live Laugh Love insta influencer, but stay hydrated! it’s extra important if you suffer from eczema. people aren’t kidding when they say it’s good for your skin.
10. kind of an obvious one, but if you have allergies, avoid the stuff you’re allergic to. ‘twill cause flare-ups.
11. try not to sweat. which isn’t to say, like, “don’t exercise ever,” but be ready to rinse off with fresh water and then moisturize immediately after you sweat.
so yeah, that’s my whole spiel. think I covered everything! but of course, different things work for different people. if anyone else has tips, feel free to comment with them!
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i was tagged by @gaycinema to pick my top 14 albums using this site! ty claire 😌 these aren’t really in any order but they ended up kinda color coordinated which is fun
1. twin fantasy (face to face) by car seat headrest / i have this album cover tattooed on my hip so i had to put it first lmao. every single song on this album holds so much significance for me and i constantly feel like im reinterpreting them and growing with them. i love every song individually and i love the story they tell all put together and i will never shut up about this album thank you
2. the sunset tree by the mountain goats / this album has singlehandedly gotten me through some rough Times over the past few years and i’ve named at least two fics after song lyrics from it </3
3. teens of denial by car seat headrest / this one holds less emotional significance/nostalgia for me but i still love all the songs on it and find myself coming back to them again and again and getting obsessed w the songs all over again.
4. blond by frank ocean - one of the greatest queer love/pining albums ever i think. i found “ivy” during a time when i really needed to hear it and know that someone else felt the same way i did, and i ended up falling in love w the whole album.
5. channel orange by frank ocean - do i even have 2 explain this...frank ocean’s lyrics and musical composition or w/e are mindblowing, a couple songs from this album and blond will be lifetime favs i think
6. how to be a human being by glass animals / i found this album during like...junior year of high school? and every song on it is an absolute banger plus listening to it brings back fond memories of listening to it while being insane during stage crew
7. danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys by my chemical romance / my shit since 7th grade. i think i know every word on this album
8. teens of style by car seat headrest / this album has a great mix of songs that are just fun to listen to And songs that hit you directly in the heart. i have also named a fic after this album. this is becoming a theme
9. humanz by gorillaz / if uve listened to this album u know how hard it goes. every song sounds so wildly different b/c they all feature a bunch of different artists and they’re all amazing as standalone songs but somehow they manage to fit together into a beautiful hot mess of an album too
10. (come on feel the) illinoise by sufjan stevens / the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! is on this album. end of story. (also chicago and casimir pulaski day are very very good)
11. be the cowboy by mitski / im gay and i have depression and a complicated relationship with old partners and friends....yeah. also “two slow dancers” inspired an entire fic for me so thank you mitski
12. carrie & lowell by sufjan stevens / i don’t listen to this album very frequently compared to the others on this list -- i love the songs and they hold a lot of meaning for me, but they’re hard to listen to (in a good way). i can play “the only thing” on guitar which is fun too
13. how to: friend, love, freefall by rainbow kitten surprise / this album slam dunks me back into spring of 2019. i can confidently say i’ve listened to this entire album more times than i can count. the songs are just really fun to listen to and they bring back (mostly) good memories.
14. three cheers for sweet revenge by my chemical romance / this is my emotional support 2004 emo album
tagging @jarchiekinz @yukichouji @serpentlady @englishmajorjughead and anyone else who feels like doing it! consider urself tagged
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literal chaos fire (ch.2)
amazing banner by @downn-in-flames / down-in-flames@FFT
find it elsewhere: fft | ao3 | ff.net | hpff
learn more: chaos universe
link to other chapters: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15
link to missing moments: 5.5, 7.5, 8.5, 15.5
pairing: Lily Luna Potter / OC
genre: AU, Humor, Romance
rating: mature audiences
summary:
Victoire Weasley is a masters student in infectious diseases handling a devastating break up with her girlfriend of two years.
Lily Potter is a first year law student navigating a figurative minefield that is the star quarterback’s unrequited affection.
Molly Weasley is pursuing her bachelors in engineering while pining over her best friend - who doesn’t seem to realize it.
Three women, three vastly different lives, all coming together with group chats, family dinners, and a whole lot of chaos.
chapter summary:
IckyVicky: uve always been my least fav sisster
dominatrix: im your only sister
loulou: does that mean i'm the favourite sister now?
SEPTEMBER 18TH, 2021
‘the dopest house'
(foxyroxy, freddieboy, jamesanator, moollywoobbles, rose)
12:33am
freddieboy: @rose
freddieboy: stop fucking your bf and come hang out with ussssss
jamesanator: we got home early so we're playing Kings in the living room
foxyroxy: translation - james got kicked out of the bar but they don't want the night to end
moollywoobbles: to be fair
moollywoobbles: he was defending my honor
foxyroxy: he bitch slapped one of the bouncers
foxyroxy: he's not allowed back at the bar
foxyroxy: EVER
freddieboy: ROSSSEEEEE
moollywoobbles: he bitch slapped one of the bouncers FOR ME
freddieboy: ROOOOOSSSSIIIIIIEEEEE
freddieboy: come out come out and plaaaayyyyyy
rose: if we play a few rounds will you let us go back to sleep?
freddieboy: YAAAASSSSSS
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘literal chaos fire'
(lawyerlilz, Mollz, VickyBaby)
2:57am
Mollz: freed nd james made rosse and malfiy play kngs wit hus
Mollz: im so lonely
Mollz: why dosnt he love me baxk?
lawyerlilz: prbably becuz hes not interestd
lawyerlilz: whyyyyyy doesnt
lawyerlilz: why doestn flynn leave me aloooone
lawyerlilz: i dont caere
VickyBaby: teddy left me
VickyBaby: for *America*
Mollz: xander will nev er love me
lawyerlilz: flynnnn keeeeps texting me
lawyerlilz: phone shut up
VickyBaby: america dsoent evn have me
lawyerlilz: oh wait tthe buzzing it you guys
VickyBaby: i bet it has prettier girls
Mollz: vicster, u so pretty tho
Mollz: sooooo preeeetty
Molly Weasley changed Victoire Weasley's name to preeeeetty laaaadyyyy.
lawyerlilz: so pretty
preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: i love you gus
Mollz: imma text him
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(mollawalla, xanderbander)
3:23am
mollawalla: im v intoxicated
mollawalla: r u awake?????
mollawalla: lysaaaaaaander
mollawalla: lyyyyysaaaaaanderrrrr
mollawalla: loveeee you
mollawalla: im never dirnking agin
8:04am
xanderbander: yeah, you say that every week
xanderbander: we're still on for lunch right?
xanderbander: assignment is due on monday
11:46am
mollawalla: my head is kiiiiilling me
mollawalla: im never drinking again!!!
xanderbander: pick you up in 5?
mollawalla: ugh fine
mollawalla: i hate you
xanderbander: love you too molla, see you in a few
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‘literal chaos fire'
(lawyerlilz, Mollz, VickyBaby)
11:48am
Mollz: shit i messaged him last night
Mollz: why didn't you guys stop me?
Mollz: god, im never drinking again
12:05pm
lawyerlilz: i would've, but at some point i ended up on my bathroom floor and everything's a blur after that
lawyerlilz: don't u have sat lunch with him?
12:24pm
preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: fuuuuuck
preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: i called Teddy 8 times last night
preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: wtf did i say???
preeeeetty laaaadyyyy: and wtf is this name?????
Victoire Weasley changed her nickname to VckyBaby.
VckyBaby: shit
Victoire Weasley changed her nickname to VickyBaby.
lawyerlilz: hungover?
VickyBaby: as fuck...
VickyBaby: god, what did i say?
lawyerlilz: im so glad i have no one to drunk dial
Mollz: im jealous
Mollz: i cant stop freaking out
Mollz: i told him i loved him last night
lawyerlilz: WHAT?!?!
VickyBaby: WHAT???
Mollz: yeah, and he said it this morning
lawyerlilz: that's a good thing though
VickyBaby: yeah, you want them to say it back
Mollz: Attachment: 1 Image
VickyBaby: oh...
VickyBaby: not like that...
lawyerlilz: but that's good?
lawyerlilz: doesn't that mean he doesn't realize what you meant?
lawyerlilz: so your secret's safe!
Mollz: but what if he figured it out
Mollz: and is just pretending not to realize
Mollz: because he hates the idea of us being together
Mollz: but doesn't want to crush my heart and soul
Mollz: and still wants a study partner
lawyerlilz: alright, that would suck
VickyBaby: if he hasn't realized that you've been in love with him since first year?
VickyBaby: he definitely didn't figure it out last night
Mollz: okay, he's coming back to the table, i'm going MIA
VickyBaby: keep us updated!
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(Lily Potter, Victoire Weasley)
12:32pm
Lily: so how you gonna figure out what you said in your calls to Teddy?
Victoire: I was thinking of just blocking her number and getting over it
Victoire: doesnt really matter since she's leaving soon
Lily: but what if she wants to get back together?
Victoire: she's going across an ocean
Victoire: and honestly, i dont think i ever want to get back together with her
Lily: why?
Lily: i thought you guys were doing good?
Victoire: we were...
Victoire: i think?
Victoire: idk, it felt off near the end
Lily: off like...?
Victoire: i found out she was cheating
Victoire: that's why im worried about the calls
Victoire: DONT TELL MOLLY
Victoire: she'll definitely try and key her car
Lily: yeah, if i dont first
Lily: why didnt you tell us?
Victoire: ...
Victoire: idk
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(Lily Potter, Molly Weasley)
2:43pm
Lily: im bringing vic over tonight
Lily: teddy cheated on her
Molly: IM GONNA KEY HER CAR
Lily: NO
Lily: she specifically told me not to tell you for this exact reason
Lily: so let her get a little drunk and tell you on her own time
Molly: fine
Molly: but im guilting rose and roxanne into this
Molly: she needs family
Molly: and if i tell rose she'll bake cookies
Lily: smart
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Teddy Lupin, Victoire Weasley)
9:34pm
Teddy: hey
Victoire: ... hey
Teddy: i miss you
Teddy: i saw you called last night but didn't leave any messages...
Teddy: and i realized i missed your voice
Teddy: maybe we should see if...
Teddy: idk
Teddy: we could do long distance?
Victoire: this is vicky's cousin
Victoire: fuck yuo, you cheating bitch
Teddy: I'm sorry?
Victoire: we knoooooooow that you were fucking the TA for your ethcds and amnil science course
Victoire: showww ur face at any family gatherins an ill key ur car
Teddy: Molly, please give the phone to vic
Victoire Weasley has blocked Teddy Lupin.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘wotter you doing'
(albie, dominatrix, foxyroxy, FRAD, huggies, IckyVicky, jamisson, Lillylolz, loulou, LucyGoose, mollzerati, rose)
9:49pm
mollzerati: new famly policy
mollzerati: teddy lupin iss shoot one sight
Lillylolz: that fuxking bitch
IckyVicky: cheating fuckxing birhc
mollzerati: FUUUUUCKIGN BITCH
albie: how did they all manage to misspell ‘fucking', all in different ways?
albie: also wtf?
jamisson: from what i can gather from the drunk mess that is my living room
jamisson: teddy cheated on vic
jamisson: so now we all hate her
dominatrix: but i like teddy
dominatrix: are you sure about the cheating?
dominatrix: she doesn't seem like the type
IckyVicky: uve always been my least fav sisster
dominatrix: im your only sister
loulou: does that mean i'm the favourite sister now?
rose: that bitch ,,, teddyd
huggies: rose??
jamisson: oh yeah, they guilted rose into the pity party
jamisson: @foxyroxy too but fred took her phone so she wouldn't drunk call their parents
FRAD: WHEN DID WE BECOME THE RESPONSIBLE ONES???
LucyGoose: this family is a fuxking disaster
LucyGoose: FUCK
#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#lily luna potter#molly weasley ii#victoire weasley#rose weasley#scorpius malfoy#lily x oc#lily x flynn#oc x lily#flynn x lily#william flynn#emerson walsh#teddy lupin#lysander scamander#harry potter next gen fic#harry potter next generation#muggle au#college au#chatfic#chat fic#literal chaos fire#chaos universe#novellette#fanfictalk#fft#nextgensquad
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GIVE ME A TED TALK ABOUT MIDGROUND!!! I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!! WAHTS THE PLOT!! WHO ARE THE CHARACTERS!!! WHAT IS YOUR FAV PART OF IT!!!
oh i did talk about the plot and characters enough times but i dont think ive ever mentioned which part is my favourite!!!!!!!!!!! (btw if ur reading this and uv only followed me recently, here is my first post about midground that explains basic stuff. its from over a year ago but yeah. i do post more than plenty text posts in my midground tag tho)
if i would have to go with choosing one out of four parts, id definitely go with 4th. i mean, theres a lottttt going on there, instead of that ‘’one demon per chapter’’ kinda stuff, like in the first two and partially 3rd one, as well. but anyway, part 4 is so much fun because:
1) for all the three previous parts, i was only focusing on demons/ghosts/evil stuff in general, and now it was fun coming up with angels!!!!!!!
2) i like the ongoing dilemma of part 4, which is like..... “so should we even be exorcising or not??? are we actually fulfilling creator’s will by doing it or are we playing god ourselves???” and stuff like that.
3) also, i loved writing flashbacks SO MUCH. first two chapters r about how they all became friends when they were ~14, starting with mercy moving to brackenridge (i mean, it was actually supposed to go to book no.3, bc its last chapter is called ‘’rest in peace mercedes clifford, part 1′’ and then i moved part 2 to the other book so like HHDSFSGD....... truly DUMB OF ASS...... whatever tho titles dont matter). i kept rewriting the first one especially so many times bc it was just SO fun ugh
4) coming up with the explanation of why does all this shit happen in brackenridge was also fun. ive had like, 4 a bit different endings written, rn im not 100% sure if im staying with the one i left for now, but im not in a hurry and i would love to explore more slightly different resolutions. well, i cant change much, bc theres a lot of reocurring stuff, like mostly all this lilianne stuff (the only other person who went to hell & came back alive)
5) I GET TO WRITE AN EPILOGUE!!!!!!!! like, about how theyre all in their mid-20s and all that stuff. i already have all the details planned and how their lives would look, but i want to leave writing it for the very end, u know...... as a treat.
6) last but not least............ i really, really, REALLY loved writing the characters, having in my head the comparison with book no.1. their personalities changed a lot, and so did my vision, and in a way, its kinda moving. plus i really loved giving them happy endings. gave jen a gf and nico a (future) bf. gave clay a job instead of forcing him to continue education which was clearly making him miserable right from chapter 1 of first part (and which i also had a chance to highlight with the flashback). and got rid of mercy’s curse too. it felt nice and rewarding, since i did torture them quite a bit before :-/
sorry if this got a bit too long!!!!!!!!!!! and sorry it took me a bit to reply. but thank u so much for asking, i really really really really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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