#ugh i'm so mad

[blazeturbo102]

@ Mike Wheeler

#they really destroyed his character for no reason huh #stranger things #stranger things 4 vol 2 #stranger things 4 #st 4 vol 2 #st 4 #st 4 spoilers #my friend doesn't like Mike and I've been defending him all this time for what??? #ugh I'm so mad #mike wheeler #byler

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

aaaaah i'm so mad lmao i called my broadband provider a few weeks ago. told the guy we were moving out on june 30th and he said since you have to give a minimum notice of 28 days before you can cancel he would put it through on the 8th and we would still have wifi until we moved out. anywayyyyyy guess whose roommate just texted and said the wifi is off 🥴

#in retrospect when he told me that the 8th was 28 days before the 30th i should have questioned him #ugh i'm so mad #he was so nice he really seemed like he knew what he was doing #do u think he thought i meant may 30th??? fuck #🧃

[spacenintendogs]

in less than 24 hours i got a new job and a head cold

#fanfuckingtastic #rose rambles #UGH i'm so mad #i have my first shift at 5 am tomorrow #and my nose has not stopped running for like #four hours

[story1ines]

of freaking course, a penalty is what makes us lose the game. another loss, no surprises here.

#* ( 𝓈 ) ▌ 𝑜𝑢𝑡 ★ PEARLY PEARL. #ugh i'm so mad

[anxietycalling]

finally had to book goose in with a groomer who specializes in fearful dogs for his nails

we have tried fucking everything, y'all

he's just too big and too afraid for us to safely trim his nails because his puppy mom fucked these poor pups up

and like goosey has come a long way from when we got him, but when it comes to his feet being handled jen really messed them up

she should have been handling their feet from the beginning

i just, like, how do you let your dog birth these massive dudes and do absolutely nothing to socialize them to people or stop them from playing too rough together or get them used to at least basic grooming

and i realize that maslow's puppy mom was fucking phenomenal and exposed them to all kinds of things from birth, but just. absolutely floored consistently with how negligent and downright abusive puppy mom was to goose's litter

i can't fucking stand anyone who thinks female dogs "need" to have a litter

i can't fucking stand people who handwave when their dog gets knocked up through negligence and have the litter knowing they can't physically or mentally handle whelping puppies

and just like. her need to be still involved in the puppies lives once they're with their forever people is weird and frankly controlling and creepy. every time we run into her at the park and goose behaves we'll she tries to take credit for it. no, bitch, this has been 5 months of OUR hard work and conditioning him to respond appropriately! OUR hard work is why he's able to be with us and YOUR negligence and failure to research even basic puppy rearing is why you had 1 of them returned to you for aggression issues!

am i wrong for feeling like she doesn't get to take credit when WE are the ones with literal bruises from teaching this 100 lb battering ram how to dog properly? like he didn't have even basic emotional control until a month ago and the remaining pups are just allowed to fight and hump each other all day long so 🤷‍♂️

#i just cannot #like i'm so glad i found someone with experience for the nails thing #but i'm so frustrated that after so much work nothing helps #because this awful lady mistreated poor baby goose and his siblings #i love goose so much don't get me wrong #but maybe momma dog should have gotten a doggie ab*rtion #(god i feel so bad saying that) #there isn't a single reason these dogs should have been abused like this #INCLUDING disability #like bitch if you know you are too disabled then don't have the fucking puppies #dogs don't owe you pregnancies #ugh i'm so mad

[whatimdoing-here]

VIGIL | 2.06

Catch them.

#bbc vigil #vigil #silvacre #kirsten longacre #amy silva #amy x kirsten #suranne jones #rose leslie #vigil spoilers #i was a freaking puddle every hospital scene thank YOU #the way that kirsten just accepts amy for who she is #and amy would give it up to be there for kirsten #but kirsten tells her to go and WANTS her to go #to finish what they have worked hard on and help and ugh #i have so many feelings #but i'm still mad about the not seeing the baby situation #okay had to get all these done today before i'm on my xmas trip

[fromkenari]

I was thinking back on my Tumblr fandom journey, and does anyone remember that brief, so brief moment when...

"You're not gay."

"I could be."

"Not dressed like that, you're not."

was a hilarious father/son moment when John Noah caught Stiles snooping before it was something that was nailed to the cross of things we had to give up as being fun pokes at the queer-coded character being truly queer and collected as examples of microaggressions and insinuations that he was only queer-coded because it was "funny" if everyone thought he was queer but he wasn't? Like that's in any way acceptable.

Also, don't forget, "There is a bible."

#teen wolf #stiles stilinski #noah stilinski #it just randomly came up #and i'm still so mad we don't get to have that line as moment #of dad would be totally supportive #but he doesn't believe his delinquent son is at a gay bar for being gay #because his partner in crime is there too #but instead it's haha no you can't have a main cast member be gay #who the fuck is danny anyway #let's make some more queer jokes #fucking jeff davis #ugh #out of credits

[lover-of-mine]

Fuck it Friday!

I was tagged by @spotsandsocks @wikiangela @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @steadfastsaturnsrings thank you.

It's barely still friday for me, but I've been writing the Buck proposes to Natalia and picks a fight with Eddie fic, and I kinda wanna share this snippet so I will lol prev snippet.

“Can you pretend you're not mad at me for a second?” Buck begs, and Eddie gives him a disbelief look. “What do you want from me, Buck? Because I’m not a good enough friend for you, so what are you doing?” “I deserved that,” he mumbles, looking down, and Eddie huffs.  “Yeah, but I didn't!”  “Eddie,” Buck tries, but he shakes his head. “No, okay? I needed a minute to get on board the stupidity of you wanting to marry someone you’ve known for six months, who left you before, and I didn’t deserve you accusing me of being a bad friend.” “I didn’t get why you needed time to get on board,” Buck mumbles, voice as small as he feels under his gaze and he just looks at him like he's crazy. “Because I’m in love with you, jackass,” Eddie snaps, breathing heavily.

No pressure tagging 🩷, everyone please consider yourselves tagged for inspiration Saturday if you did this already: @eddiebabygirldiaz @bucks118 @honestlyeddie @try-set-me-on-fire @watchyourbuck @housewifebuck @wildlife4life @giddyupbuck and you if you have something to share 💜

#writing #911 wip #buddie wip #anon made me do it fic #fuck it friday #i love this this fight so much you dont understand #balancing the way that Eddie is defensive because he's physically hurt #and the way he's defensive because Buck hurt him #but he doesn't want to be mad he just doesn't trust Buck all that much at the moment #has been soooooooooooooooo fun #even more considering I'm on Buck's pov #so to have Buck figure that out #ugh #i wanna finish this fic so bad

[mattodore]

slutting matthias out just for you @wldestluv-rs

#river dipping #ts4 #matthias evanoff #echthroi #PHOTOSHOP CRASHED AND I STARTED WAILING BC I FORGOT TO SAVE THE PSD #BUT THEN WHEN I OPENED IT BACK UP THERE WAS A RECOVERY FILE THAT WAS THANKFULLY JUST A FEW EDITS BEHIND SO !!!!! #HERE YOU GO JKDFNHKJ #UGH...... i wish i used srwe now but i was like if i use srwe this'll take me like two extra hours just bc i take a million photos #whenever i'm in game like NO MATTER how simple a photo i'm meant to take is i WILL !! end up with like a 1gb folder afterwards #absolute MADNESS whenever i open up ts4 #but WHATEVER.......................... anyway nene here u go <3

[spaceslayer]

You may not believe in a higher power, but... your mind was built to.

#westworldedit #westworld #evanrachelwoodedit #erachelwoodedit #dolores abernathy #evan rachel wood #gif #i'm mad at hbo so have this thing i had in my drafts #she's so beautiful ugh #my gifs at this point are just pretty people beautiful people

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm watching s05e03 of Leverage (the first contact job) and damn, who wrote this and how did they write it especially for me?!

Eliot plays a character that has him looking and sounding soo stupid with his big puppy dog eyes and his stupid little face all innocent like and his stupid hat

aww he's just a silly little guy, I'm sure he'd never punch someone 🥺

then he gets his face smashed into a window and he's all bloody and he punches some dudes (but he has to make sure nothing in the room breaks)

and he ends up lying on the ground with two guys on top of him?!

AND then Parker is there too (in a suit!!) and they're picking the guys up off the floor (and his face is still bloody during all this!!!)

like hello??! thank you Leverage 🙏 💖

#it's so good I'm almost not mad anymore that they didn't have him shirtless even ONCE in the hockey episode #(almost) #(what a waste 😔 like come on I could think of at least one reason for every episode to have him shirtless! and what do they do? ugh. 🙄) #(rude.) #but yes yes this is good too more of this please #leverage #eliot spencer #parker leverage #they make me sooooo stupid it's insane

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 114 #is this meta? i don't know #more like just incoherent rambling lmao #i just don't want Nikolai to die man....... I really don't #i get that people are hyped up on the juicy tragedy of it all but plssssssss it's too soon for him to go #we need so much more of the enigmatic clown...... he's too interesting to lose just yet!!! #i'm sad at probably losing the outcomes i always hoped for him and fyolai but right now i just want More Of Him #he can't die so soon when he's barely even had pagetime #it COULD be fascinating to see Fyodor's reaction to taking over his body but....... i don't think he'd /have/ any right now #they need more time together before one of them dies #i always thought/hoped Fyodor would die first and Nikolai would be left alone to angst lmao but ugh........ #now it's really feeling like it'll be the opposite #which again doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing depending on how Asagiri executes it........ I just think this is way too soon for it to happen #i'm gonna be so mad if Nikolai just dies offscreen without us ever hearing from him again because Fyodor possessed his body #poetically cruel and tragic? yes. but also so anticlimactic at this moment in time #never getting to hear from him again......... #ugh i blame all the Fyolai fan creators; they've raised the bar too high 😭😭😭 #idk maybe i'm just talking out of my ass though. i probably am. i just feel conflicted about all this and need to see where it goes

[knowlesian]

okay: let’s talk candied melon silk moths, everybody. because holy shit, did i just blow my own fucking mind upon this very night.

full disclosure: i had this shit planned out a little before i sat down to google. i’d start with a little light ‘i’m not a bug-ologist, buuuuut’ joke and then synthesize what i’d read on google into a readable bit of moth fact/history before moving onto Considering The Humble Moth.

but ofmd has ruined that. because here’s the thing: there is no such thing as a candied melon silk moth. 

now, the rosy maple moth? that moth exists, and their habitat stretches well past st. augustine down to nearly the tip of florida. they’re apparently the smallest kind of silk moths, which seems Not An Accident given the way this show is playing with toxic masculinity and expectations surrounding it. 

they were classified in 17-fucking-93, because of course they were. by johan christian fabricius, which is just a really fucking cool name. i don’t make these rules. (i did some light research on him and it ended in Very Interesting/The Kind of Problematic You’d Expect From A Man Named That Doing Science-y Things Around Then places, so i’m gonna do more there later.)

for now, the basics. this level of detail and then a last minute hard swerve into We Do What We Want, Fuck You means they did the work: they didn’t just slap together some latin and make up a name and call it a day to avoid paying... moth copyright???? 

they tracked down an interesting moth, did their research on it, and then cackled with glee as they changed one very important letter and made up their own goddamned moth, because it’s all fuckery here. masks on masks on masks, all of them a little bit real just because we put them on and went about our day.

and because ofmd looks at history, at traditional power structures and the crushing weight they put on every single one of us living under them, and asks: why? and what if it weren’t like that?

in the real world, these were not the men we are watching fall in love; the real ed and stede did horrible fucking things. they were, in colloquial terms, The Bad Guys.

but what if they were these men, instead? what if we stole their names and histories and pasted our stories on their fucking faces. what IF we colonized the colonizers and made them dance to our fucking tunes, this time? 

what if nobody had to define themselves against what they aren’t? what if a rosy maple moth was a candied melon silk moth because fuck you for saying it can’t be different, this time of all times?

so fuckin’ yeah. there’s THAT, which really put a spin on how i planned to organize this meta. i mean: what do i DO with that shit???? that’s fucking insane. i’m gonna fight these people. fight them with my TEARS because they have pushed my love over the borderline. feels like i’m going to lose my mind, & etc.

what the fuuuuuuuck.

that little mental/song break over, onto what i knew i was going to talk about.

first: that they used a moth at all. we have a lot invested in the butterfly as an image/metaphor as a culture. at worst it’s a literal started ugly, ended up beautiful thing, at best it’s about metamorphosis and transition/transformation and the revealing of a true self (things ofmd is also very interested in) but the physical beauty part is always lurking there in the subtext, making things a liiiiittttle bit weird.

this particular moth also happens to be legit cute as fuck, but we don’t attach that kind of beauty baggage to moths. instead, our favorite moth metaphor is about danger. moths to a flame, we say, because we are REAL scared of warmth and pleasure. (and emotional risk, understandably.)

and oh look! ed and stede, moths to each other’s flame; these two are drawn together, the way whole crew is drawn together, by accident and irresistibly until they're a family in ways they couldn’t have planned for or ever anticipated. none of them started out in the same place, some of them didn’t start out speaking the same languages, a lot of them are still on the way to figuring out who they are: but here they are. drawn together in their various states, anyway.

(puts the fire at the heart of stede’s liminal space ship in new context, huh? fuck this stupid show.)

but here’s where it gets real weird: that’s a silk moth.

stede, privileged and still in his cocoon not quite With It stede, holds in his hands the creature responsible for the red handkerchief ed’s mother was tricked into believing god didn’t want people like them to have. and he offers it up to ed, entirely clueless of the resonance he holds in his hands, eager to share it without even knowing the fucking magic he is capable of conjuring for a million reasons fair and unfair, systemic and personal: the means of fuckin’ production.

because god doesn’t decide who gets silk, rich fuckers don’t decide who gets silk.

no silk moths, no silk from those moths.

fuck god and fuck rich people: drill down to the absolute core, the humble moth holds the actual power here.

and that moth gives no shits about these stupid rules. the moth doesn’t give a single solitary fuck if ed has a piece of silk or the king of england has that same exact piece, because of fucking course it doesn’t. ‘deserve’? fuck that. the moth isn’t like oh GOLLY i hope somebody with class puts me on. somebody with a full bank account. those people deserve me: nobody else.

the people who benefit most made up those rules about who gets what and why they get it, and now for some reason a lot of us help enforce it without any hope of feasting on their crumbs.

and if you think about it we made up god, technically, because we invented words and belief structures and intricate rituals to explain this gnawing ache and loneliness inside just as much as the surge of impossible hope or unshakeable, inexplicable sense of Something More. and none of us can prove entirely the others are wrong, even though many of us will kill and die to insist otherwise.

either way, this i know for sure: we definitely fucking made up money.

so stede’s got his cute little metaphor moth perched on his finger, eagerly offering it for inspection. he is literally offering up to ed the means of production for the object that represents his heart. 

and the kicker: he doesn’t even know it’s happening.

(neither of them do. not yet.)

i mean. this fucking show is just ridiculous.

i’m sure there’s a Lot More here, and i want to keep writing about how they use stede’s privilege/wealth in this fascinating way where it informs his character for good and ill and functions as a commentary on the unfortunate reality that sometimes people who will one day show amazing solidarity start from a place of good-hearted Not Having A Clue, and then move and grow from there as they see more of the world and watch the people they love experience pain in ways they never anticipated. but that’s an adjacent lane and another piece of writing!!!

so for now: fuck this show, and let us continue to consider the Humble Silk Moth i guess.

#our flag means death #my ofmd meta #i'm so mad at this fucking show all the time #like i am sure i will wake up at four am and go FUCK ME I MISSED THIS OBVIOUS THING #for now: the emotional scream i will call a freewrite #fuck this team. FUCK EM #ugh i will be thinking about the moth ALL NIGHT

[eremin0109]

The more I read about Patroclus' actual characterization in the Iliad, the more my distaste for Madeline Miller's version of him grows.

Like lady, how do you take this MAN who was a formidable, seasoned warrior with a body count that was CANONICALLY greater than that of Achilles', a briliant strategist and an army medic, charming as all hell, bisexual as fuck AND rips apart Zeus' goddamn son with his bare fucking hands and turn him into whatever the fuck TSOA Patroclus was???!?

With all due respect, Patrochilles aren't your run of the mill yaoi couple and the only reason I can see for her to "feminize" Patroclus was to make two WARRIORS who canonically had a balanced dynamic between them to forcefully fit into the done and dusted, absolutely fetishizing seme/uke (erastes and eromenos, if you will) trope. And this is just sad because had she been true to the original characterizations, it would've made for a vastly more interesting retelling and not a book that basically glorifies and justifies Achilles' horrible deeds and makes Patroclus a dumb simp who can't see anything wrong with his boyfriend's actions.

#I didn't mind the characters when I first read the book because I had like negative knowledge about the actual source material #But now that I'm a little wiser than before I fucking hate this aspect of the book with all my fucking heart #She did Patroclus so fucking dirty like you don't have to diminish one HERO to elevate the other FFS #they were both masc warriors who were also toxic and misogynist (like most Greek men around that time) what's so fucking hard to understand #Ugh #we could've gotten battle boyfriends but instead we got a pseudo-hetereosexual romance with Madeline's male OC #fuck this shit I'm so mad about it #the song of achilles #madeline miller #anti tsoa #tsoa critical #patrochilles #Achilles #Patroclus

[sage-nebula]

Martha didn't get a Tennant Doctor because she didn't want a Tennant Doctor. Martha was the only one of RTD's companions who left the Doctor of her own volition, and only ever called him back on her own terms, when she had need of him.

Rose didn't leave the Doctor willingly. Rose was trapped in an alternate universe because it was either that or be stuck in a void with Daleks and Cybermen for the rest of time. And when she returned (primarily to warn the Doctor about the oncoming darkness caused by Davros but also because she wanted to be with him), she left with the Metacrisis Tenth Doctor and their own TARDIS because that was the only way to give her a satisfying ending from the viewpoint of the audience. (And even then, there are some fans who will tell you that nothing short of her being with the Time Lord Doctor in the prime reality is satisfying, but that just couldn't happen for reasons outside the narrative story.)

Donna didn't leave the Doctor willingly. Donna absorbed all of the intelligence of a Time Lord into her human brain, and this was going to kill her. She had to have her memory erased and be kept away from anything alien for presumably forever or else the knowledge would return and literally kill her. Donna begged the Doctor not to wipe her memory anyway, because she would rather have died than give up that life. Just like Rose, Donna had planned on staying with the Doctor for the rest of her life.

This was not the case for Martha. Setting aside the fact that Martha was treated like garbage for the duration of her season from a writing standpoint, by the end of season three Martha has realized two things: 1.) that she is goddamn brilliant and never deserved to feel like she was second best, and 2.) that she doesn't want the Doctor anymore. Unlike Rose, Donna, and Captain Jack, Martha leaves the TARDIS of her own free will, to pursue her own life and career outside the Doctor. Even Sarah-Jane says in "School Reunion" that she waited for the Doctor to come back for her; she didn't want to leave, not permanently! But Martha did. She chose to step away. The only other companion to have done this during RTD's run is Mickey, so I guess Martha wasn't the only one; still, she's the only one of the primary companions, the three women, to want to leave. She made that choice herself.

Now, does that mean everything about Martha's ending was perfect? No. As much as the "Smith and Jones" wordplay of her ending with Mickey is amusing (get it, like her first episode), it makes no sense when you consider that she was engaged when she returned in season four, and yet we never hear of that fiance again. I mean, I guess it's fine since it's not like we ever saw him? But what happened there? Why was no thought given to Martha's story there? What was she doing with Mickey in an active war zone? Why no mention of her in these three specials even though, last we heard of her, she was working with UNIT in a really important position? I like Mel well enough, but why couldn't Martha have been there instead? Especially since Martha and Donna had a preexisting friendship, and would have been delighted to see each other again?

With that said though, she doesn't need a Tennant Doctor. She didn't want a Tennant Doctor. Frankly, Tennant's Doctor doesn't deserve her with the way he acted ("Rose would know" right to her face, like -- dude, I get it, you're grieving, but that's fucking rude and Rose would NOT approve you using her memory to make another woman feel bad about herself). Martha's character arc was about recognizing her own brilliance and her own worth; standing on her own two feet as a PROPER doctor, Doctor Martha Jones, walking the earth and saving the world without a TARDIS or Torchwood or a Time Lord brain. Just her own fucking determination and brilliance.

Rose and Donna got Tennant Doctors because that was the way to make their final send-offs satisfying. Rose and a Tennant Doctor got to be in love and happy together in a parallel world, which is fitting considering that they were in love and never wanted to leave each other. Donna and a Tennant Doctor get to be besties and happy together in this reality, so that RTD has a convenient excuse to pull Tennant back into a story if he ever wants to again (since it'd be hard to explain why Tentoo came over, versus having Fourteen right there) . . . but also because, like Rose, Donna never wanted to leave the Doctor, she wanted to be with him forever.

But Martha didn't want that. Martha left on her own accord. She left with a smile on her face and her cell phone on the TARDIS console, so that when she said "here boy!" the Doctor would listen. She left on her terms, with him at her call, only there when she has use for him.

And honestly? Good for her.

#like it was a fucking waste that we didn't see Martha at all in these specials #or even get a mention of her but like #she wouldn't WANT a Tennant Doctor. she was the only one of the 3 who left willingly! #(and honestly who can blame her like fr . . . the shit she put up with bc of him) #(the shit in the Family of Blood episodes gave her just cause to beat his ass into next week honestly) #(she hugs him at the end but honestly she should have beat his ass. just started swinging) #(how dare he do that to her? honestly?? i'm not talking about the love plot bit bc while that was ugh it's like #small potatoes to making her as a Black woman have to WORK IN SERVITUDE TO WHITE PEOPLE #and like the scene where he grabs her arm and throws her from the room? BITCH????? #GOD i'm mad again just THINKING about it #she should have beat his ass so hard he regenerated right then and there. AGH. #ANYWAY #Martha Jones deserved better but getting a Tennant Doctor is not better #not for her. it would be like a punishment honestly #she walked away from him and then you put his sad boy ass back on her doorstep?? hello??? no thank you #doctor who #martha jones #dw spoilers #this probably sounds like I hate Tennant's Doctor but I don't #I just hate how a lot of season 3 was written wrt how Martha was treated #like Martha having very legitimate concerns in the Shakespeare episode about being a Black woman in that time period #and Ten mocks her for being concerned like ??? #ARGGGHGHHGHGHGHG #ABOUT TO FLING MYSELF INTO THE TV TO BEAT HIS ASS MYSELF ISTFG #A N Y W A Y

[moregraceful]

my queues ran out and i was at church all morning and will be there again this evening and will be at church tomorrow for like 12-13 hours and i just want to write fanfic and be stupid on the internet 😭 my life is so unendingly difficult i tell you what

#tk prompting that nick suzuki doesn't know he's hot fic and me realizing you know who else doesn't know he's hot i bet. jason robertson #pov you are a 16 year old barista at gong cha and the hottest men you have ever seen in your life walk in and ask what lychee is #they get drinks comped for being hot and tall #san jose gay men crawling out of the woodwork to hit it #like if it true what sierra says and an east coast 2 is a san jose 10 #if ur a 6'3 filipino man and a medium tall gosei like ur absolutely walking out of the boba shop in the background of someone's tiktok #video and going west coast asian viral for being the hottest men alive and it's a good 3 months before hockey tiktok catches on #man you guys i threatened to quit my other job like 10 times this week and everyone says i should do it #but i'm like. ok then i have NO jobs and i have to LOOK for a job so there's no gap on my resume!!! #but the other option is be mad as hell for as long as i work there!! and i don't even want to work there!! you know??? #but it's just...a malnourishing job i am not being fed in any way by it -_- #i feel like i'm being starved every time i walk in i feel like i'm having things taken away from me #UGH IDK #anyway what if nick suzuki experienced things while watching robo drink boba. what then #fresno oilers.txt