#ugh i don t know too many things and thoughts happening at once it kinda sucks
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complete and utter chaos [ducktales group chat fic] - Chapter 3
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Ao3 Chapter 4
let kids be kids
6:04 am
TheWebbedWonder: hey guess what
adefinitelyrealboy: Isn’t it before the approved technology time set by Mr. Uncle Donald?
TheWebbedWonder: brilliance waits for no rule, Boyd!
adefinitelyrealboy: Okay!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: you’re corrupting him, webs.
Lou: eh let her
TheWebbedWonder: whatever
TheWebbedWonder: it’s been a while since we had a sleepover…
lenaonme: oh yeah!!!
ICanDeweyIt: and Boyd’s never been to one!!
adefinitelyrealboy: you’re right!!
adefinitelyrealboy: what does one do at a sleepover?
TheWebbedWonder: They’re super fun!!!
TheWebbedWonder: we watch movies and have pillow fights and discover family mysteries and summon supernatural creatures and fight said supernatural creatures and eat lots of junk food!!!!!
adefinitelyrealboy: Sounds fun!!!
Lou: lmao i love our family
ICanDeweyIt: @Violet-Sabrewing you up? Important convos happening here
Violet-Sabrewing: I am now
lenaonme: vi you’re not fooling anyone
lenaonme: we all know you get up at sunrise
Lou: yeah she’s crazy
Violet-Sabrewing: True, but I was reading.
Junior-Woodchuck74: fair!
lenaonme: omg nerds
TheWebbedWonder: Ok so are we on??
TheWebbedWonder: what about Friday night?
ICanDeweyIt: what’s happening on Friday night?
TheWebbedWonder: it’s the two thousandth anniversary of the Magical Battle of Demogogorna!!!!
Lou: ok hear me out
Lou: can we PLEASE have a sleepover that doesn’t consist of crazy dangerous magical shenanigans for once
Lou: I just wanna sit on the couch and watch scary movies
Junior-Woodchuck74: you do that every day anyways
Lou: yeah but I watch other stuff like Ottoman Empire
Lou: there’s a difference, hubert!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: whatever
Violet-Sabrewing: Thursday night works for Lena and I, but we should check with the adults.
TheWebbedWonder: yeah I’ll ask them when it’s okay for us to be texting
Lou: lmao what a rebel
Family Group Chat!!!!
7:00 am
TheWebbedWonder: good morning everyone!!
mutant-krill!!!!: good morning Little Della!!
Blathering-Blatherskite: gm!!!
TheWebbedWonder: exciting things are happening
Adventure-Pilot: ooh like adventure exciting?
Adventure-Pilot: are you planning an adventure?
TheWebbedWonder: no but I am now!!!
green-sharpie: oh boy
TheWebbedWonder: @Tea Time @aw-phooey @Adventure-Pilot @Scrooge-McDuck @Indy_Sabrewing @purpleisforthegays @dr. mad scientist CAN WE HAVE A SLEEPOVER???????????
Tea Time: At McDuck Manor, I presume?
TheWebbedWonder: yes!
Adventure-Pilot: fine by me!
Scrooge-McDuck: aye, as long as you don’t trash my house again.
Tea Time: It’s not like you were the one cleaning up, sir.
green-sharpie: It wasn’t us!! The ghost Webby, Lena, and Violet summoned had no sense of hygiene.
dr. mad scientist: why did you tag me
TheWebbedWonder: Boyd!!
dr. mad scientist: blathering blatherskite
adefinitelyrealboy: <3
aw-phooey: Webster.
TheWebbedWonder: yes, Uncle Donald?
aw-phooey: it’s 7 am.
TheWebbedWonder: actually, it’s 7:03 am now!
aw-phooey: Webby, you and the kids can’t have planned a sleepover in three minutes
aw-phooey: I told you guys no phones before 7 am!!
green-sharpie: you couldn’t have waited ten minutes webs?
TheWebbedWonder: brilliance waits for no rule!!
aw-phooey: but it does wait for parental punishments
TheWebbedWonder: Oh I almost forgot
TheWebbedWonder added DosCaballero and blackmagica
aw-phooey: !!!
aw-phooey: THE BOYS
blackmagica: WE’RE THREE CABALLEROS
DosCaballero: THREE GAY CABALLEROS
aw-phooey: WE’RE HAPPY AMIGOS
blackmagica: NO MATTER WHERE HE GOES
DosCaballero: THE ONE TWO AND THREE GOES
aw-phooey: WE’RE ALWAYS TOGETHER
green-sharpie: …
aw-phooey: but Webs you’re still in trouble you can’t distract me with my boys
ICanDeweyIt: i thought we were your boys
aw-phooey: you are
aw-phooey: you’re all my boys
Junior-Woodchuck74: 💖💖
Scrooge-McDuck: @blackmagica NO MAGIC IN MY HOUSE
TheWebbedWonder: …
Violet-Sabrewing: …
lenaonme: …
Scrooge-McDuck: okay point taken
Scrooge-McDuck: NO BLACK MAGIC IN MY HOUSE UNLESS YOU’RE BRINGING MY NIECE BACK FROM THE SHADOW REALM
lenaonme: Aww im your niece?
Scrooge-McDuck: yes lass
lenaonme: sldfkdskla;sdlfkhdksl;asldkfhgbfkdl;s
moonlander-general: you worry me.
lenaonme: awww penny you charmer you!!!
moonlander-general: …
Scrooge-McDuck: @blackmagica change. your. name.
green-sharpie: good job using internet speak Uncle Scrooge!!
Scrooge-McDuck: I still only vaguely only know what that means.
Scrooge-McDuck: But I picked up many various languages adventuring. I’m a polyglot!! What’s one more?
TheCrashiestCrash: Good for you Mr. McDee!! Glad you finally found the courage to come out. Love who you love!!!!
Adventure-Pilot: wh
lenaonme: SKDFGHDSKALDKFHDKS
lenaonme: LAUNCHPAD ILY NEVER CHANGE 💖💖
TheCrashiestCrash: okay!!
Scrooge-McDuck: ah, his heart’s in the right place.
Scrooge-McDuck: wait, finally???
green-sharpie: yeah i think webby infested launchpad with the scrooge theory bug
TheWebbedWonder: you make it sound like it’s a bad thing
Scrooge-McDuck: oh curse me kilts
Scrooge-McDuck: I’ve never really felt the need you young people need to label things…
TheWebbedWonder: THEORY CONFIRMED
TheWebbedWonder: thanks uncle scrooge!!
Scrooge-McDuck: ah you’re welcome lass?
Lucky-Gander: haha same Uncle McDunkle!!
Scrooge-McDuck: tattle me tartan, I’m like you!!
Lucky-Gander: lucky you! The Gladstone life is pretty sweet if I do say so myself
green-sharpie: eh he’s not wrong
Scrooge-McDuck: I cannot believe a member of my own family would say something so heartless!!
aw-phooey: oh shoot did i miss the scrooge roasting session
Scrooge-McDuck: Please. I can handle a little heckling!!
Adventure-Pilot: where were you Don?
aw-phooey: in PMs with Zé and Chito.
TheWebbedWonder: those nicknames are so cute omg 🥺
DosCaballero: I am very cute, thank you!!
mutant-krill!!!!: Why don’t Donnie’s and José’s nicknames correlate with yours?
green-sharpie: yeah that’s kinda mean Uncle Donald
green-sharpie: abandoning your friends’ beautifully compatible nicknames
lenaonme: huh cold
lenaonme: i didn’t know you had it in you. I’m impressed uncle d
aw-phooey: oh kids
DosCaballero: Do not worry! Donald didn’t abandon us!
aw-phooey: mine used to but I changed it when the band broke up. too dangerous to keep it ngl
aw-phooey: (you should really change your name, chito)
blackmagica: And I had… other activities that required my attention.
Scrooge-McDuck: You lose more and more of my favor by the minute.
aw-phooey: my friend had your favor?? You’ve gone soft, old man.
blackmagica: Well I have a brilliant idea to appease everyone!!
blackmagica changed their name to TrêsCaballero
aw-phooey changed their name to UnoCaballero
UnoCaballero: how’s that?
DosCaballero: !!!!!! <3
TrêsCaballero: We love you too.
Junior-Woodchuck74: awww!!!
dr. mad scientist: spare me.
Blathering-Blatherskite: Gyro play nice
Adventure-Pilot: yeah Gyro!!!
dr. mad scientist: oh my god shut up.
TrêsCaballero: I did not mean to offend you, Dr. Mad Scientist!!
green-sharpie: he really said duckscord user dr. mad scientist
moonlander-general: But we’re not using duckscord?
ICanDeweyIt: it’s a joke Penny
ICanDeweyIt: wait do you have duckscord???
moonlander-general: Della made me set it up
ICanDeweyIt: FRIEND ME
ICanDeweyIt: I CRAVE VALIDATION
green-sharpie: we know
ihaveahead!!!: we know
lenaonme: we know
Junior-Woodchuck74: we know
Tea Time: we know
ICanDeweyIt: fine :( be like that
TheWebbedWonder: It’s because we love you 💖
ICanDeweyIt: sldkfghdks Webs how dare
ICanDeweyIt: ily2
ICanDeweyIt: IM GOING IN KIDS CHAT WHERE WEBBY LOVES ME
ICanDeweyIt: LET THE WORLD BURN
Blathering-Blatherskite: ...what???
Scrooge-McDuck: leave it, he’s being dramatic
let kids be kids
10:02 am
ICanDeweyIt: >:(
Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey are you done moping
ICanDeweyIt: give me one minute
Junior-Woodchuck74: ...fine.
10:03 am
ICanDeweyIt: okay i’m back
Lou: smh
TheWebbedWonder: PARTY PLANNING TIME
TheWebbedWonder: what snacks do we want? Granny’s gonna do a grocery run soon
ICanDeweyIt: cheeto puffs
ICanDeweyIt: because SOMEONE ate them all
Lou: hey, don’t look at me! The rats love fake cheese dust!!
ICanDeweyIt: Beakley did her weekly rat clean the day before they went missing
Lou: ugh okay fine they’re good okay????
Lou: shut up
Junior-Woodchuck: also, HEALTHY snacks!
lenaonme: lame
Lou: seconded
ICanDeweyIt: thirded
Junior-Woodchuck74: Viiiii back me up here
Violet-Sabrewing: I look forward to eating an ungodly amount of junk food and having an impressive sugar crash with the rest of you.
Junior-Woodchuck74: dangit
Junior-Woodchuck74: webby?
TheWebbedWonder: SUGAAAAAAAAR
Junior-Woodchuck74: Beakley never let you near anything sugary so fair enough
Lou: I mean that was for good reason
Lou: she’s almost as bad as you hue
TheWebbedWonder: SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
Junior-Woodchuck74: oh boy
Junior-Woodchuck74: Boyd?
adefinitelyrealboy: Getting ice cream with you in Tokyolk was fun, Huey! Let’s do it again at the sleepover!
Junior-Woodchuck74: dangit i’m soft
Junior-Woodchuck74: please put some healthy snacks down there anyway Webby. At least for me.
TheWebbedWonder: already done!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: <3
lenaonme: do Vi and I need to bring anything over aside from the usual?
TheWebbedWonder: idk yet
adefinitelyrealboy: what’s the usual?
Junior-Woodchuck74: we have sleeping bags and pillows but if you want your own you can bring it. Same with plushies and stuffed animals. Toothbrush and hairbrush and that kind of toiletries, but I don’t know how much you use. Your phone, obviously, and anything else you’ll want for the night. But we have a lot of supplies.
adefinitelyrealboy: okay!
adefinitelyrealboy: I don’t have a lot of personal items like that. Most of what I have at the Drakes is just hand-me-downs from Doofus
lenaonme: get in loser we’re going shopping
lenaonme: for personal trinkets for you
ICanDeweyIt: omg <3
ICanDeweyIt: lena you’re my new favorite person
lenaonme: as I should be
adefinitelyrealboy: That’s sweet! Dr. Gearloose and Lil’ Bulb I have been doing that periodically, though. Sometimes Mr. Manny the Headless Manhorse and Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera come along too!!
Lou: I really want to know what’s up with Fenton’s invalid doctorate ngl
Violet-Sabrewing: Me too
Junior-Woodchuck74: 👀 good to know
lenaonme: don’t overanalyze anything hue
TheWebbedWonder: but overanalyzing is the BEST!!
lenaonme: okay you’re the only valid overanalyzer Webs
TheWebbedWonder: 💖💖💖
TheWebbedWonder: Lena and Violet can you come over on Tuesday to help me set up the magical activities?
Lou: oh boy
Violet-Sabrewing: I’ll ask
lenaonme: do you need us to smuggle in anything again?
TheWebbedWonder: no that’s okay! I still have all the books you brought last time, and I think I can get any herbs we need for spells without suspicion as long as it’s not too close to the sleepover date
lenaonme: 👍
Lou: well I staunchly refuse to participate in any more magical adventures than I need to. Tuesday I have a date with some Pep and Ottoman Empire!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: ugh.
TheWebbedWonder: You don’t have to! This is a strictly Team Magic adventure!!
ICanDeweyIt: aw man :(
TheWebbedWonder: uhh that’s okay Dewey you can come if you want!!
ICanDeweyIt: eh it’s all right I just want validation
lenaonme: understandable. see you tuesday!
ICanDeweyIt: 💙💙
Team Uncle McDunkle (les parentals)
10:43 am
Indy_Sabrewing: Violet just asked if she and Lena can go over to McDuck Manor on Tuesday to prepare for the sleepover with Webby
purpleisforthegays: fine w/ me
acepilot: us too
22: so we’re all good with the sleepover at large, correct?
Dadnald: Aside from the fact that the kids were obviously planning it in their own group chat before the agreed tech time minimum
Moneybags: ah let them
Moneybags: they’re just excited
Dadnald: Unca it’s the first day of that rule
22: I agree with Donald. It’s good to lay down a solid foundation for rules. Let the children know we will enforce them.
acepilot: okay but I vote we still let them have their sleepover. It is Boyd’s first sleepover. Excuse me, important life milestones happening here!!
Dadnald: okay fair
Dadnald: It’s been approximately two weeks since we all met Boyd and Della’s already imprinting on him
acepilot: like you’re not
Dadnald: shhhhh
Dadnald: you’re right about the sleepover. I don’t want to take that away, and they all seem so excited.
Dadnald: let me figure out something else though, at least for my kids
Indy_Sabrewing: we’ll do it together
purpleisforthegays: Any adventures between now and the sleepover, Mr. McDuck?
Moneybags: just a small day trip to the Sands of Time on Wednesday. should be an easy one.
Dadnald: I think we should just assign them extra chores until then
22: fine by me.
acepilot: hahah same
Moneybags: Gyro?
worldsgreatestinventor: I don’t think I have that kind of relationship with Boyd yet, to be completely honest.
worldsgreatestinventor: but it’s fine he’s a good kid
acepilot: oh I know
Dadnald: I’m picking up Huey and Boyd from their Junior Woodchuck meeting tomorrow; I can talk to the Drakes then
Moneybags: good thinking Donald!
Moneybags: you’ll get there, Gyro
PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck
11:47 am
Junior-Woodchuck74: Boyd says you’ve been shopping with him and Dr. Gearloose!!
TotallyNotGizmoduck: yeah!! It was an infallible excuse to get Gyro out of the lab
TotallyNotGizmoduck: He really cares for Boyd.
Junior-Woodchuck74: And Boyd really cares for him!
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I can see that! Boyd is a sweet kid.
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I just wish Gyro would realize that. For a genius, he can be surprisingly dense.
Junior-Woodchuck74: he’s not the only one
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Oh cease whatever scheme you’re planning and help me figure out how to make Gyro overcome his anxieties about parenthood!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: oh I’m down
Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m not dropping this, but I’m down
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I expected nothing less. Now, any brilliant ideas? Come on brain, think!
Junior-Woodchuck74: I think Boyd would be overjoyed to receive parental affection from Gyro. He doesn’t need any meddling; it’s just Gyro
TotallyNotGizmoduck: True
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I believe Gyro’s mostly scared, but he’ll never admit it. Least of all to himself.
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Also, the Drakes are two experienced parents with a stable, large home and income. They have an unending amount of time to spend with their children, and they easily fit society’s heteronormative mold of the perfect nuclear family.
TotallyNotGizmoduck: they’re everything Gyro is not, and that intimidates him.
Junior-Woodchuck74: The Drakes spent the majority of their parenthood enslaved in their own home and terrified of their son. They’re not exactly the pinnacle of perfect parenthood.
TotallyNotGizmoduck: ha, nice alliteration.
Junior-Woodchuck74: thanks!
TotallyNotGizmoduck: However, I’m not the one you need to convince here. You’re preaching to the choir.
Junior-Woodchuck74: Fair.
Junior-Woodchuck74: Let me ask Webby; she probably has some convoluted scheme to get Dr. Gearloose and Boyd to be a family.
TotallyNotGizmoduck: That makes sense
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I don’t know her very well, but she’s a sweet kid.
Junior-Woodchuck74: she scares you, doesn’t she.
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Oh she totally scares me
Family Group Chat!!!!
2:03 pm
UnoCaballero: @DosCaballero @TrêsCaballero you know what time it is
UnoCaballero: We’re three caballeros
DosCaballero: Three gay caballeros
TrêsCaballero: They say we are birds of a feather!!
UnoCaballero: We’re happy amigos
DosCaballero: No matter where he goes
TrêsCaballero: The one
UnoCaballero: Two
DosCaballero: And three
TrêsCaballero: goes, we’re always together
UnoCaballero: We’re
DosCaballero: Three
TrêsCaballero: Caballeros
ICanDeweyIt: I can’t believe the adults did a songchain before we did
lenaonme: oh shoot we gotta do one now
TheWebbedWonder: what song should we do?
green-sharpie: CREEPER
ICanDeweyIt: aww man
Junior-Woodchuck74: aww man
Junior-Woodchuck74: darn it
lenaonme: so we back in the mine
Violet-Sabrewing: swinging our pickaxe from side to side
green-sharpie: side side to side
lenaonme: This task a grueling one,
ICanDeweyIt: Hope to find some diamonds tonight, night, night
TheWebbedWonder: diamonds tonight
Blathering-Blatherskite: Heads up, you hear a sound,
Junior-Woodchuck74: FENTON
lenaonme: omg another meme child rises
green-sharpie: not exactly a child skdfhdksla
dr. mad scientist: are we done fangirling yet
Junior-Woodchuck74: not all of us are girls, Dr. Gearloose.
Junior-Woodchuck74: That only perpetuates the ingrained societal mindset that liking something is cringey, and girls are cringey and inferior because they’re tied to that negative connotation
lenaonme: go off
TheWebbedWonder: ^^^^
wreathedingold: Well said!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: Dang I think that’s the first thing Aunt Goldie’s ever said to me 😳
wreathedingold: I’m not your aunt kid
TheWebbedWonder: just you wait
wreathedingold: well that’s ominous
wreathedingold: time for me to bounce then
TheWebbedWonder: Noooo Aunt Goldie come back!!!
ICanDeweyIt: Don’t worry Webs, we’ll get her soon enough.
Scrooge-McDuck: Should I be worried or…?
TheWebbedWonder: nah everything’ll be just fine Uncle Scrooge!!
dr. mad scientist: RED NEPHEW.
dr. mad scientist: STOP SPAMMING MY PMS.
dr. mad scientist: one more message and I block you, capishe?
UnoCaballero: You can’t block Huey for emergency purposes
Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m just making sure you get the message Dr. Gearloose
dr. mad scientist: okay okay
dr. mad scientist: it was more of a drag against Fenton anyway
Blathering-Blatherskite: hey!!
TheCrashiestCrash: nooo, we love you fenton!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: yesss Fenton positivity hours!!
Ihaveahead!!!: Fenton positivity hours!!
mutant-krill!!!!: Fenton positivity hours!!
TheCrashiestCrash: Fenton positivity hours!!
TheWebbedWonder: Fenton positivity hours!!
UnoCaballero: Fenton positivity hours!!
moonlander-general: well that’s creepy.
ghostbutler: it’s best not to question their antics.
Tea Time: Oh dear, Duckworth is making logical sense! He’s been replaced by a fake!
ghostbutler: You wish.
ICanDeweyIt: LONG LIVE THE HIVEMIND
lenaonme: Fenton positivity hours!!
DosCaballero: Fenton positivity hours!!
Violet-Sabrewing: Fenton positivity hours!!
Lucky-Gander: Fenton positivity hours!!
purpleisforthegays: Fenton positivity hours!!
adefinitelyrealboy: Fenton positivity hours!!
Lil’ Bulb: Fenton positivity hours!!
Blathering-Blatherskite: <3 <3
dr. mad scientist: betrayed by my own inventions…
Lil’ Bulb: ily2
dr. mad scientist: which one of you kids taught him that
Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey
lenaonme: dewey
green-sharpie: dewey
ICanDeweyIt: oh shut up
ICanDeweyIt: I’m not sorry
Violet-Sabrewing: as you should be
ICanDeweyIt: and I would’ve gotten away with it if not for you meddling kids!!!
Lucky-Gander: haha
Adventure-Pilot: lol
UnoCaballero: sdfghgfds
lenaonme: dewey getting that Adult Validation
ICanDeweyIt: it do be like that 😌
ICanDeweyIt: anyway back to the song chain!!
ICanDeweyIt: yall adults are welcome to join us just don’t mess it up
Lucky-Gander: wouldn’t dream of it
lenaonme: creeper
ICanDeweyIt: aww man
Junior-Woodchuck74: that’s not where we were in the song
ICanDeweyIt: AWW MAN
Violet-Sabrewing: So we back in the mine
TheWebbedWonder: rocking our pickaxe from side to side
UnoCaballero: side side to side
green-sharpie: This task a grueling one
TheCrashiestCrash: Hoping to find some diamonds tonight
DosCaballero: night night
Blathering-Blatherskite: Diamonds tonight
Violet-Sabrewing: heads up
purpleisforthegays: you hear a sound
lenaonme: turn around and look up
Lil’ Bulb: total shock fills your body
TheWebbedWonder: Oh no it’s you again
Junior-Woodchuck74: I could never forget those eyes, eyes
TrêsCaballero: eyes eyes eyes
ihaveahead!!!: cause baby tonight
ICanDeweyIt: DISCORD
green-sharpie: The creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again,
ICanDeweyIt: IM HOWLING AT THE MOON
lenaonme: SLEEPING IN THE MIDDLE OF A SUMMER AFTERNOON
Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey i hate you
ICanDeweyIt: can’t help it i’m a wild child
Junior-Woodchuck74: last week you cried because the supermarket was all out of blue rock candy
ICanDeweyIt: WILD CHILD, HUBERT
Junior-Woodchuck74: IT’S JUST SUGAR AND FOOD COLORING
ICanDeweyIt: SHUT UP IT’S GOOD
lenaonme: ok shut up nerds hash it out later we’re going back to singing
lenaonme: DISCOOOOORD
green-sharpie: whatever did we do
dr. mad scientist: is this the hecking mlp song
Adventure-Pilot: hah hecking
dr. mad scientist: DONALD EDITS MY TEXTS
UnoCaballero: as i should
UnoCaballero: don’t swear around my kids
TheCrashiestCrash: TO MAKE YOU TAKE OUR WORLD AWAAAAAAAAY
TheWebbedWonder: Discord, are we your prey alone
TrêsCaballero: or are we just a stepping stone to taking back the throne
Blathering-Blatherskite: Discord
Violet-Sabrewing: We won’t take it anymore
DosCaballero: So take your tyranny away!
purpleisforthegays: discoooooooooord…
Junior-Woodchuck74: discoooooooooord…
green-sharpie: discoooooooooord…
moonlander-general: wha
ICanDeweyIt: shh penny we’re singing
adefinitelyrealboy: this is quite an interesting phenomenon!!
mutant-krill!!!!: agreed, it is quite fascinating!!
green-sharpie: OH SHOOT BOYD DOESN’T KNOW ANY MEME SONGS
lenaonme: 😔😔👊
ICanDeweyIt: YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
TheWebbedWonder: I’m adding it to the sleepover agenda now!!
Violet-Sabrewing: Della and Penumbra should join us, since they don’t know either
Junior-Woodchuck74: good idea! but what about Uncle Indy and Uncle Scrooge? And Dr. Gearloose?
Blathering-Blatherskite: Gyro knows meme songs he’s just not participating out of spite
dr. mad scientist: shut up fenton
Violet-Sabrewing: there’s no hope for them
wreathedingold: HAH
TheWebbedWonder: oh Aunt Goldie!! I thought you left!!
wreathedingold: shush pink niece
TheWebbedWonder: omg she knows who i am 🥺💚❤️🥰
green-sharpie: uhh not quite webs
Scrooge-McDuck: Excuse me!
Scrooge-McDuck: we had this conversation earlier today. I am a polyglot.
TheCrashiestCrash: And I told you Mr. McDee!! Love who you love!!
Scrooge-McDuck: Oh tatter me tartan.
wreathedingold: quite the enthusiastic brood you have there, Scroogey!
Scrooge-McDuck: I can’t believe this.
Indy_Sabrewing: That’s it Violet; no reading for fun.
Violet-Sabrewing: No!
lenaonme: 😔👊
TheWebbedWonder: Oh no!!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: We should invite Uncle Fethry too, if he can make it
mutant-krill!!!!: my schedule is full of traveling the seas with Mitzy and cataloguing our scientific findings and experiences!!
mutant-krill!!!!: But I will check.
adefinitelyrealboy: I can hardly wait!!
Tea Time: And when is this?
ICanDeweyIt: Well we were planning on showing Boyd at the sleepover, but it seems my dear class has grown…
ICanDeweyIt: PROFESSOR DEWFORD RISES
Junior-Woodchuck74: @Tea Time Wednesday will work.
Tea Time: Wonderful. I’ll mark it in the family calendar.
lenaonme: mrs beakley ily
Tea Time: Thank you, Lena.
ICanDeweyIt: P R O F E S S O R D E W F O R D
green-sharpie: oh boy
Junior-Woodchuck74: you don’t have a Ph.D idiot
ICanDeweyIt: Neither does Fenton but do you see that stopping him?
Blathering-Blatherskite: why must you keep bringing up my lack of a doctorate?
lenaonme: it’s funny
green-sharpie: yeah pretty much
green-sharpie: you know we’re only going to bring it up more now right?
Blathering-Blatherskite: oh blathering blatherskite
Blathering-Blatherskite: What has my life come to? I’m being mercilessly mocked by a bunch of children.
dr. mad scientist: HAH
Tea Time: That’s just what children are like.
lenaonme: mrs beakley says this as if she doesn’t tease everyone mercilessly too
Tea Time: That goes without saying.
Lil’ Bulb: it do be like that 😔👊
dr. mad scientist: OH COME ON
dr. mad scientist: WHICH ONE OF YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT
Lucky-Gander: dude you literally just had this conversation
dr. mad scientist: I’LL KILL YOU KIDS
UnoCaballero: NO
Adventure-Pilot: I’LL KILL YOU FIRST
ihaveahead!!!: i dont doubt that
dr. mad scientist: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON MANNY
ihaveahead!!!: della’s
dr. mad scientist: typical.
lenaonme: nearlythrewhandswitha13yearold.png
Violet-Sabrewing: yes pretty much
TheWebbedWonder: sldkfhdskl;a
Blathering-Blatherskite: oh how the tables have turned
dr. mad scientist: i hate you all
Adventure-Pilot: we love you too mwah <3 <3
dr. mad scientist: ewww
TheWebbedWonder: commence operation: SMOTHER DR. GEARLOOSE IN LOVE AND AFFECTION
Adventure-Pilot: HECK YEAH
Blathering-Blatherskite: Sounds like an interesting scheme with a potentially volatile reaction from the subject, but with likely a desired outcome!!!
TheWebbedWonder: aw thanks Fenton <3
Blathering-Blatherskite: anytime!!
lenaonme: lol get him
dr. mad scientist: I TRUSTED YOU WEBBIGAIL
TheWebbedWonder: THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
TheWebbedWonder: TIME TO HEAD OVER TO THE LAB EVERYONE
dr. mad scientist: no
TheCrashiestCrash: I’ll drive!!
dr. mad scientist: NO
dr. mad scientist: FENTON STOP THEM
Blathering-Blatherskite: :3
ICanDeweyIt: S’DLFKDSL;KDKFHSKLASKEISKAGSKASKD
dr. mad scientist: YOU WILL DIE PAINFULLY
TrêsCaballero: This chat is… interesting
ICanDeweyIt: Get used to it Uncle José!!!
TrêsCaballero: I am… Uncle José?
TrêsCaballero: What an honor!!
ICanDeweyIt: sure you are!! you’re close enough to uncle donald
TheWebbedWonder: and we love you!!!
ICanDeweyIt: yeah and that
UnoCaballero: awww kids
TrêsCaballero: you must meet my biological nephews, Zico and Zeca!!
TheWebbedWonder: NEW FRIENDS!!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: Uncle Scrooge
Scrooge-McDuck: Yes Huey?
Junior-Woodchuck74: On an unrelated note, can we take an adventure in Brazil?
TrêsCaballero: 🥰🥰
Scrooge-McDuck: ugh
Scrooge-McDuck: I’ll look into it
TheWebbedWonder: I’ll help you Uncle Scrooge!!
Indy_Sabrewing: Is this the adventure you promised Della?
TheWebbedWonder: Nope!! My lips are sealed on that one
lenaonme: huh you’re actually doing that
TheWebbedWonder: Yep!! And it’s gonna be amazing!!
Adventure-Pilot: I bet!!
TheWebbedWonder: 💕💕💕
TheWebbedWonder: I love you!!!
Adventure-Pilot: aww I love you too honey!!
DosCaballero: Not to interrupt this adorable declaration of love but
green-sharpie: you’re an uncle too
DosCaballero: !!!!!
UnoCaballero: I’m proud of you guys
purpleisforthegays: are you talking to your friends or to the kids?
UnoCaballero: up for interpretation
PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck
4:35 pm
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Huey
Junior-Woodchuck74: Yes Fenton?
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I scrolled up in the major group chat and your uncle said something odd about his nickname
Junior-Woodchuck74: Wait, why were you scrolling up in chat?
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Manny and Lil’ Bulb roped me into taking out of context screenshots.
Junior-Woodchuck74: Oh hey Dewey and Lena do that too!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: What did you find?
TotallyNotGizmoduck: screenshot-2020-08-06-4.24-PM
[aw-phooey: mine used to but I changed it when the band broke up. too dangerous to keep it ngl]
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Why would it be too dangerous for him to keep his Three Caballeros nickname?
Junior-Woodchuck74: Yeah that’s definitely weird
Junior-Woodchuck74: Especially since Uncle Donald’s account is private
TotallyNotGizmoduck: this chat service only has basic security. It is easily hacked if someone has the means.
Junior-Woodchuck74: That means they’d have to want to find Uncle Donald
Junior-Woodchuck74: Fenton I’m scared for Uncle Donald now
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’m sure he’s okay! He knows how to protect himself, if nothing else.
Junior-Woodchuck74: true
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Besides, you have me, a literal superhero, on your side if anything goes wrong!!
TotallyNotGizmoduck: and your family is exceptionally good at fighting off threats. You’ll be okay, Huey.
Junior-Woodchuck74: i’m not worried for me
Junior-Woodchuck74: but thanks, Fenton
Junior-Woodchuck74: i think i’m gonna sleep on this and then do some DuckDuckGo searches on the Three Caballeros tomorrow, okay?
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Of course, Huey
Junior-Woodchuck74: talk tomorrow?
TotallyNotGizmoduck: wouldn’t miss it!!
Junior-Woodchuck74: and you should really change your name
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I will
PM between TheWebbedWonder and TotallyNotGizmoduck
7:43 pm
TheWebbedWonder: Hi Fenton!!
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Hello Webby!!
TheWebbedWonder: I realized I never added your mother to our group chatTheWebbedWonder: Can I have her username?
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Of course! I figured something was up
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Not that you can’t contact me casually!!
TheWebbedWonder: I’ll keep that in mind! 💖
TheWebbedWonder: Your mom is really nice but I don’t know her that well
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Oh you two will definitely get along
TotallyNotGizmoduck: There is a 93% chance of it
TotallyNotGizmoduck: The 7% is if she catches wind of the illegal activities Lena drags you into
TheWebbedWonder: It was ONE time and that guy deserved it!! It was justice!!!
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Webby, you set a citizen’s apartment ablaze!!!
TheWebbedWonder: He was being a jerk
TheWebbedWonder: He purposefully misgendered Dewey and Violet
TheWebbedWonder: and he made some really gross comments about Lena
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Webby, I understand that
TotallyNotGizmoduck: M’ma and I have to deal with our fair share of jerks
TotallyNotGizmoduck: And in all honesty, she would probably respect the karma of your actions. I definitely do.
TheWebbedWonder: yeah I get it
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I became a superhero to help people
TotallyNotGizmoduck: And that person deserved what came to them, but sometimes there are better ways to help people
TheWebbedWonder: sure okay
TheWebbedWonder: I mean you should probably give Lena the lecture
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’ll keep that in mind
TotallyNotGizmoduck: but you’re a good kid webby
TheWebbedWonder: awww thanks 💖💖
TotallyNotGizmoduck: You and M’ma will get along
TotallyNotGizmoduck: You’re both kind, powerful, passionate women who scare me
TheWebbedWonder: Aww, I scare you? That’s so sweet!!! Thank you!!!
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Uhhh you’re welcome?
TheWebbedWonder: 🥰🥰
let kids be kids
8:03 pm
TheWebbedWonder: Fenton is lecturing me about when we set that guy’s house on fire
lenaonme: hah that was awesome
Lou: ew lectures
Junior-Woodchuck74: I told you that was a bad idea
Violet-Sabrewing: It worked out, though
TheWebbedWonder: he’s so nice but also I want to set all bigots’ houses on fire
ICanDeweyIt: as you should
Violet-Sabrewing: *as WE should
ICanDeweyIt: you’re right vi!!!
lenaonme: *cracks knuckles* aight i got this
TheWebbedWonder: wait no lena don’t be mean
lenaonme: shhh it’s just a little bit of good-natured teasing
TheWebbedWonder: Lena
Junior-Woodchuck74: Lena
Violet-Sabrewing: Lena
adefinitelyrealboy: Don’t be mean to Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera!! He has to deal with a lot of their comments anyway. And he’s a superhero!! He knows what he’s doing!!!
Violet-Sabrewing: Fenton is a superhero?
lenaonme: khdskalksdf HE’S gizmoduck????
Junior-Woodchuck74: oh no
Violet-Sabrewing: I did think of this hypothesis a couple months ago
adefinitelyrealboy: Oh no!! I didn’t mean to reveal Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera’s secret identity!!
ICanDeweyIt: not much of a secret tbh. he has a whole journal entry for people who know he’s Gizmoduck
TheWebbedWonder: Guess he has two more names to add to that list
Lou: to be fair, his username is TotallyNotGizmoduck. That’s pretty sus
Junior-Woodchuck74: he really needs to change that.
ICanDeweyIt: yeah
PM between lenaonme and TotallyNotGizmoduck
8:24 pm
lenaonme: ay yo
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Hi, Lena!
lenaonme: be gay do crime
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Lena no
lenaonme: lena yes
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I suppose Webby talked to you?
lenaonme: yes
lenaonme: also vi and i know your secret identity now
TotallyNotGizmoduck: darn it
lenaonme: seriously change your name that’s kind of pathetic ngl
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I understand you like fitting the image of “rebellious teenager” and all, but are the insults completely necessary?
lenaonme: oh thank webby she convinced me to only lightly tease you
lenaonme: it’s with love~ 💖
TotallyNotGizmoduck: Not quite sure if I buy that
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I don’t want to have to apprehend you if you commit crimes, Lena
TotallyNotGizmoduck: and my M’ma wouldn’t either
lenaonme: i don’t even know her
TotallyNotGizmoduck: You will tomorrow!!
lenaonme: i can’t decide if that’s ominous or just overly preppy
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’m just a little excited
lenaonme: lmao lame
TotallyNotGizmoduck: :(
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I hate teenagers
lenaonme: blanket statement huh
TotallyNotGizmoduck: sorry
TotallyNotGizmoduck: I wouldn't be forced into negative feelings if you weren't mean to me!
lenaonme: it's because i love you
TotallyNotGizmoduck: you keep saying that, but I'm not so sure I believe it...
Science Gays
8:48 pm
fentonium: why are kids like this
worldsgreatestinventor: agreed, very negative feelings indeed
adefinitelyrealboy: :(
worldsgreatestinventor: except for you Boyd
Junior-Woodchuck74: It’s because we love you
adefinitelyrealboy: what about Huey?
worldsgreatestinventor: ehhhhhhh
Junior-Woodchuck74: disappointed but not surprised
Junior-Woodchuck74: let me guess you talked to Lena?
fentonium: yes
worldsgreatestinvention: she’s cool
worldsgreatestinvention: she taught me memes
worldsgreatestinventor: WHAT
worldsgreatestinventor: red nephew!! your lot told me that was dewey!!
worldsgreatestinvention: just for those specific memes
worldsgreatestinvention: it was a group effort
Headless-Mannyhorse: good for them
worldsgreatestinventor: they will rue the day!!
fentonium: oookaay
fentonium: you know what I prefer Lena to this
Junior-Woodchuck74: she knows
fentonium: oh no
Junior-Woodchuck74: that’s one of the reasons she likes it so much
fentonium: oh no
Family Group Chat!!!!
4:55 am
lenaonme: b͈̻̙͕̲̭ͦͦ̾͛l͉͒a̱̳̠̳͈͎̖̓ͪc̆͒k͎͖͈͓̎̌͒p̝͈̌ͫͥͦi̩͙͙͕ͫ̋͛ň̦̌k̟͐̾ ̟̼̥͎ͣͫ͛̂i̞͓̰̜͇̜̪ͧ͑͌̓s̙ͤ͛ͩ ̩̞̖͖̺̐̈͋͆́̈́ͅt̙̥̄ͨͭ͐h̩͇̮̙̬̉͂ͫe͕͚̳̩̞͚̜ ̞͕̰̇͛̏̍ͨ̄r͉̹̱̬͑̄̾͐ḛ͖̘̇̆v̺̱̇̽͒o̤̮̤l̞̯̪̳͕̿͆͌ͭͅu̮̼̝̤̅̑ͬ̾͑͂̍t͇̲̺̘̀i̘ͦ̿͗o̪ͣ͐̓̇ͦ̎ͬn͙̱͔̩͙͒́̋̽̎̎~
dr. mad scientist: oh my god shut up
~
Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74
Dewey: ICanDeweyIt
Louie: Lou / green-sharpie*
Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl*
Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald / UnoCaballero
Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags
Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot
Beakley: 22 / Tea Time
Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash
Lena: lenaonme
Violet: Violet-Sabrewing
Duckworth: ghostbutler
Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood
Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite
Manny: ihaveahead!!!
Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb
Gladstone: Lucky-Gander
Fethry: mutant-krill!!!!
Indy: Indy_Sabrewing
Ty: purpleisforthegays
Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold
Penny: moonlander-general
Boyd: adefinitelyrealboy
Panchito: DosCaballero
José: blackmagica* / TrêsCaballero
*main
i listened to a bunch of various blackpink while making this (on if it's your last rn) so that's why that ending moment is there lmao. it's just a glimpse into my life i guess. it's also a fitting reference since i wrote a bunch of this during a writing sprint with friends (and i lost :( ) and they introduced me to almost all of the blackpink songs i know!
there's a moment in which dewey called himself a "wild child" which is inspired by another friend calling me a wild child the other day. it just be like that i guess. (tragically, neither this friend nor the blackpink friends are into ducktales so they won't read this. but moon, silv, viper, rose, if you're out there... ily)
peep some sexuality headcanons!! I tried not to make them too overwhelming since I know a lot of people have different hcs, but they slipped in. It didn't make it in, but I hc that in addition to the no-label thing for genders, Scrooge is also demisexual and demiromantic!! I'm aroace so that means something to me. Also re: the bigot Webby and Fenton were talking about, I hc Violet is trans and Dewey is nb (thank the duckfalls server for that one). and lena is gay. but all headcanons are cool n valid and i'd love to hear some of yours!!
i unexpectedly got a really good response to this fic last week and i just want to say thank you!! it means so much to me that people like this fic and that people like my writing in general. i love all of you <3 i haven't responded to comments from last week yet cause energy but i promise i will i just need energy. but i read all of them and they were so sweet!! so thank you!!
in a similar vein, no penny pokemon plot this week cause the week slipped by and i forgot to message ppl about pokemon but i definitely will do that. it'll probably be back for next time. thank you so much to everyone who offered!! i'll probably take you guys up on that.
also thanks to the people on tumblr who gave me scrooge phrases. @just-sinag sent me an amazing video of all of scrooge's catchphrases from dt87 (which i didn't get to use this time unfortunately but definitely next time) which was really helpful, but everyone who replied to my post is really awesome and i appreciate it!!
in other news, my cat just meowed at the door while i'm writing this author's note and then jumped very cartoonishly when the door bumped against the wall. she's a little freaked out right now, poor baby. but i love her.
Chapter 4
#ducktales#ducktales 2017#dt17#ducktales fanfiction#wavey writes#my fanfic#complete and utter chaos#fenton crackshell-cabrera#huey duck#webby vanderquack#gyro gearloose#della duck#lena sabrewing#violet sabrewing#dewey duck#scrooge mcduck#manny the headless manhorse#jose carioca#panchito pistoles
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Title: reconnections
A/N: Written for the Choi Sandwich zine, featuring the twins and MC. Unfortunately the zine got cancelled. @naoface drew some cute polaroid shots for this fic, I hope they’re posted somewhere for you to see—they’re really cute!
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“I have a garden.” Saeyoung crossed his hands, taking in the grassy lot behind his yard. A brown fence, paint peeling off it in places, surrounded the yard on three sides. On the right, his neighbour’s tree gave a small patch of shade, the only relief from the summer heat. “No, wait, I have a backyard?”
“Yeah.” MC raised a brow, hand on her hip. Dressed in a ratty t-shirt and shorts, she looked ready to tackle any dirty job. A grey pair of gloves hung loosely in her free hand and he wondered if Yoosung had given them to her. “Have you never looked out your window?”
Gesturing at himself, Saeyoung shot her a dry look. “Spy. Super-secret spy. I didn’t even think the windows could open.”
“Ugh.” MC shivered, even as she took the brunt of the June heat. “No wonder the AC is on blast all the time.” Donning her gloves, she peered around the corner of his house, at the narrow path leading between the front and the back. Automatically, her voice took a kinder, softer tone. “Do you need help?”
A low voice mumbled something and Saeyoung resisted the urge to look. His brother’s voice was as quiet as he remembered, swallowed up by every other sound on the planet; as though he wasn’t sure he could make a noise, as though he’d be punished if anyone heard him. It had been one thing when this had happened when they were younger; now it seemed like it would never go away.
But his brother was free: free of Rika’s grasp, free from their mother’s words, free from their father’s threats. And maybe one day his words would be free too, to be as loud as a shout. At least, it could be louder than the squeaky tire on the wheelbarrow as Saeran made his way into the backyard.
“Ohhh, pansies.” MC stood next to his brother, leaning past him to pick up a tray of small purple and blue flowers. “My favourite.” Looking over the assorted flowers in the barrow, she glanced at Saeran. “Which one’s yours?”
Saeran gave her a shy smile. Picking up a small green pot, he answered, “Roses. Blue ones the most.”
“I never knew they could be blue.” MC examined the flowers eagerly. Putting back the tray she picked, she rolled up her sleeves. “Alright, let’s get at it. These flowers aren’t going to plant themselves.”
The thought struck Saeyoung. “What if they could?”
“…I mean, your robots are amazing, but that kinda robs the fun of planting.” MC shook her head, already disregarding the idea. She glanced at the neatly trimmed grass, free of weeds, and looked at Saeyoung again. “Wait, is that why your backyard isn’t a jungle?”
“Buzz!” He crossed his arms in front of him. “I didn’t even know it existed ‘til now.”
“Then who?” MC stroked her chin, perplexed. “A pair of wild goats acting like a lawnmower?”
A trowel in hand, Saeran quietly suggested, “Vanderwood?”
Simultaneously, Saeyoung and MC turned to each other, their mouths in an ‘o’ shape. “That’s it!”
-x-
“Hit X!” Saeyoung shouted, his eyes glued to the TV screen. His fingers pressed buttons on the controller faster than Saeran could see them. “That’ll make you go faster.”
“Right. X.” Saeran swallowed, not quite sure how he ended up in this situation. On this couch. He was flanked with his brother on one side and MC on the other. They pressed against his body every now and then, their warmth surprising him each time. Looking down at the black thing in his hands, he looked for an X.
“On the right.” MC tore her eyes away from the screen long enough to point it out to him. While she wasn’t as competitive as his brother, she gave as good as she got, and most matches ended up as a tie between the pair.
And maybe that’s where his troubles started; when he complimented MC for winning a battle. Somehow, they had taken that as a desire to join, and before he knew it, he was sitting here, squished between the two with a strange black controller in his hands. He gripped it awkwardly, trying to remember what buttons the pair had told him to click, rapid-fire-like as though their words were bullets and they had to get through a clip. X? Square? Triangle?
On the wide screen in front of him, his car zigzagged down the racetrack. At least, he hoped it was his car. There were so many on the screen he sometimes lost track of which was his. Beside him, the only sounds he could hear were the quick pressing of buttons and soft cursing as his brother and MC took turns to glare at each other. Blindly, he tapped a button. The wrong move—his car spun, hitting a rainbow prism.
“Hit the left button!” MC yelled, her body leaning right as her car drifted around a corner. She tended to do that a lot, moving as though she was actually in the car, while Saeyoung barely budged from his spot.
Left. Left. Which button was it? Saeran pressed every button he could see when suddenly the split screen in front of him glowed white. His car sailed across the finish line and, beside him, Saeyoung dropped his controller.
“What?” Saeyoung stared at Saeran, then at the screen. “How?”
“Wow! Way to go!” MC wrapped an arm around him, hugging him tightly before letting go. “You won!”
“I did?” Saeran turned back to the screen, to the image of his car running over the finish line once more. He’d won. Joy swelled up in him and maybe there was a point to these games his brother played.
“Again.” Picking up his controller, Saeyoung glared at the screen. “We’re doing this again.”
-x-
Click.
With a scowl, Saeyoung looked up from his circuit board, fully expecting a polaroid camera in his face. Ever since MC had found it in his mess of a junk room, buried beneath broken gadgets and abandoned tool kits, it had been practically glued to her fingers. He could count the number of times he’d woken up to that dreaded click, to her devious smile as she caught him in one terrible pose after the other.
This was not one of those times. No one was in front of him, with a camera or otherwise.
Saeyoung blinked. That was odd. Another click sounded off and he turned his head to find MC on the other side of the room, huddled next to Saeran. His brother was clutching the instant camera in his hands, lowering the viewfinder from his eyes as MC quickly grabbed the photo and started fanning it.
“You’re really good at this,” MC whispered conspiratorially, leaning close to Saeran. “Saeyoung usually wakes up at this point.”
In front of the pair was their unwitting mark: a sleeping Vanderwood. Saeyoung snickered. Finally, someone else. Though, seriously, Vandy slept like the dead, not even so much as stirring at all the noise. No wonder he made such easy prey.
“He’s always been a light sleeper,” Saeran explained, a pleased note in his voice. His fingers nervously played with the hem of his shirt, his other hand tightening its grip on the camera. Hesitantly, he pressed, “The photo…”
“The photo?” MC repeated, turning to him.
Embarrassed, he trailed off and shook his head. The tips of his ears turned red. “Nevermind.”
“It’s a really good photo,” MC chirped, answering his unspoken question. She had a talent for that, Saeyoung had noticed, for reading inbetween the lines, for finding the hidden things. “Vandy almost looks like a model in it.”
And this time, the hidden thing she found was Saeran’s smile. A small, quiet thing, and Saeyoung tried not to stare. His brother’s smiles were rare, dragged out only after much cajoling, and Saeyoung wished he had the camera now, could snap a picture and freeze it in time. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.” MC looked at the camera. “You should just keep it—you’ll make better use of it than me.”
Surprised, Saeran shook his head. He held out the camera, trying to return it to her. “I couldn’t—”
“I stole it from Saeyoung anyways. So it’s just going home.” Insistent, MC pressed the camera back into his hands.
“But—”
Brokering no disagreement, she quickly clasped her hands behind her back before he could push the camera back to her. “I want to see more of your photos. They’re great."
Saeran stared at the camera, then at her. Her smile didn’t waver and his lips tugged up slightly. He lowered his eyes, unable to think of a response, unable to say anything but a mumbled thanks.
“Great!” After affectionately bumping shoulders with him, MC pulled out a marker. A mischeivious grin on her face, she slowly stalked toward Vanderwood. “Take a photo of him after I’m done.”
-x-
“Revenge,” Saeyoung stated, pacing back and forth in front of a whiteboard. He rapped a pointer against the word, written in bright red letters and underlined three times. “That is what the goal is, gentlemen.”
“I am definitely not a part of this,” Vanderwood called out from the kitchen. The sound of sizzling meat and the warm scent of spices drifted into the living room and Saeran pinched himself.
The smell remained. He inhaled deeply. There was something unbelievable about it all, about Vanderwood coming in every day to cook. To clean. To make beds and do all of the other things that Saeran had read about in the rare book Saeyoung used to sneak into their bedroom. And all of this was just for them, for a pair of people who shouldn’t have existed.
There was a part of him that was sure he was still trapped in a dark room, dreaming about a happy future, but his brother was here. Vanderwood was here. MC was here and Saeran’s imagination had never been good enough to conjure up kind people like her.
“Vanderwood will—” Saeyoung continued, as though he hadn’t heard anything.
Not having any of it, Vanderwood yelled louder, “Once this is done, I’m leaving!”
“You are the linchpin to the plan!” Saeyoung retorted, disregarding his friend’s(? Saeran wasn’t really clear on their relationship) wishes as usual. Dressed in a military uniform, his brother looked prepared for war. He glared at a picture of MC stuck to the whiteboard. “This is the only way we’re taking her down.”
It sounded very serious and Saeran swallowed. Saeyoung looked ready to fight. Timidly, he raised his hand.
Saeyoung pointed at him. “Yes, private?”
Private. That sounded even worse. “Will this hurt MC?”
His brother’s eyes widened. Setting down his pointer, he shook his head slowly. “No, we won’t hurt her.”
“Good.” Sighing with relief, Saeran relaxed. MC was his friend, another word he had never dreamed of using before. MC was his friend and he didn’t want his brother and his friend to be at crosshairs with one another.
“We’re just going to crush the pranking spirit out of her.” The pointer was back in his hand, and with it, Saeyoung’s military voice. Using magnets, he stuck several more pictures onto the whiteboard. One of his beloved gaming chair, dyed a neon green. Another of Vanderwood’s face, covered in drawings. Each picture was more embarrassing than the last and Saeyoung banged his hand against the wall. “The chicken nugget incident. The waterbed assassination. We have suffered too many defeats, men. Far too many. And while I have avenged each one, this cannot continue.”
He pulled off his hat, revealing a terrible dye job that made his hair a nauseating yellow. Gripping his hat tightly, he closed his eyes shamefully. “This prank is the final straw. We shall destroy MC so badly, she shall never prank in this house again.”
Turning back to the whiteboard, he rested a hand on the top of it. “And for this, I have devised the world’s, nay, the universe’s greatest prank.” Deftly, he flipped the board. “I call this the—”
Saeyoung stared at the board. Saeran stared at the board. And while he couldn’t be certain about it, he was certain Vanderwood had poked his head out to stare at it as well.
Whatever plans Saeyoung had made were gone. In their place, MC had drawn herself in red, her fingers in a V shape as she grinned victoriously.
-x-
MC’s head lolled, her body sinking into the plush couch. Saeyoung rolled his eyes as his friend swayed left and right, her eyes struggling to stay open as she lost the battle against sleep. “And you picked the movie,” he grumbled half-heartedly, already moving the chip bowl away from her before she could spill it. Saeran had the popcorn bowl, so at least that was safe.
“I…can…watch…” she mumbled, blinking furiously as she tried to watch Back to the Future.
Or was it Back to the Future II? To be perfectly honest, Saeyoung wasn’t sure just where they were in the marathon right now. Not that it really mattered, this rewatch wasn’t so much for him but for Saeran, the next step in a slow effort to get him up to speed on pop culture.
“Just sleep,” Saeyoung sighed, glancing at Saeran. Completely hooked on the movie, his brother watched the screen with rapt attention. The popcorn remained untouched and Saeyoung wasn’t sure if his brother hated it or if he didn’t realize that it was okay, that he could eat it.
Almost all of their interactions were like that, a vein of uncertainty of intentions and understanding. Turning to MC, he whispered, “Could you—”
He didn’t bother to finish the question. MC was fast asleep now, softly snoring as she leaned back into the couch. A small dribble of drool escaped the side of her mouth and Saeyoung tried not to laugh. Oh, this would be the perfect picture.
A perfect revenge.
-x-
“Saeran?” Shielding his eyes from the sun, Saeyoung winced as he stepped outside. Damn, it was bright outside. And hot too. The air felt stuffy and humid and he missed the dry aftertaste his air conditioner gave him. Even if MC and Vanderwood complained about it, it was far better than this heat.
Padding down the stone path to the backyard, Saeyoung guessed his brother was on their side of the argument as he found Saeran more often outside than in. It was a good thing. After all those years of darkness, it was a good thing. Just as MC’s suggestion to garden was also a good one. Saeyoung stopped walking once he spotted Saeran watering the flowers. His brother really liked them, especially the roses. As usual, he was quietly talking to the plants as he tended them and Saeyoung wondered what he was saying.
Good things? Bad things? Did he like living here with his brother? Hate it? Almost all of their interactions had this level of awkwardness in them, two people learning to live together once again. It was a discovery of likes and dislikes, of habits and personalities. Of the space between them. It was easier when MC was with them, helping them navigate the waters.
It was harder when it was like now, just the two of them. The gap between them felt obvious in the sunlight. Saeyoung took a hesitant step forward. By now, the garden felt like Saeran’s private place, the flowers mostly maintained by him. Just walking in the backyard felt like an intrusion.
Spotting him, Saeran stopped watering. “Saeyoung?”
It was strange. They were mirror images of one another, at one time. Even now, with Saeran’s hair colour back to normal, they still looked almost the same. But there were differences—Saeran’s face was leaner, sharper, and no matter how much he ate, his skin clung to his bones. Clearing his throat, Saeyoung smiled. “The flowers look good.”
“Thank you.” Saeran ducked his head bashfully, a reddish tint to his ears.
“No problem.” He could just hit his head against the wall—what was with that stiff, formal response?
With nothing to add, Saeran returned to watering and silence fell between them. For once, Saeyoung couldn’t think of a single joke, a single jest to lighten the mood. Quietly, he walked up to his brother, coming to a stop next to the roses. “You like them, right?”
“Yeah.” Saeran looked at him. His eyes darted to the roses, then back to him. Lowering his lids, he bit his lip before mumbling, “You’re kinda like a rose.”
“A rose?” Flattered, Saeyoung loosened his collar and ran a hand through his hair. Posing, he winked. “I am beautiful.”
“No, not that,” Saeran interrupted, a nervous smile playing on his lips. “You’re…you’re both thorny.”
“…huh?” Was that an insult? Did his brother hate living here, and this was his passive-aggressive way of telling him? Saeyoung’s jaw fell slack, not sure how to respond.
“Er—ummm…” Saeran clutched the watering can tightly, his nervous smile turning into a panicked one. His words came out in a rush. “That was a joke. Did I do it wrong?”
“A joke?” Saeyoung blinked blankly at his brother. Saeran had made a joke about him. A terrible one, but a joke nonetheless. Laughter bubbled up inside him and he collapsed to his knees.
Saeran crouched net to him, freaking out. “Are you okay? Vanderwood said to try—I’m sorry—”
Before his brother could go off on a tangent, he interrupted him. “Good one.” Taking a deep breath, Saeyoung calmed down. He slung an arm around his brother, hugging them tight. Maybe they were still learning to connect, but they were getting there. They were going to be okay. “Really funny.”
Above them was a bright blue sky and he remembered those early days when they used to watch the clouds, dreaming of ice cream and warm families. A dream that had come true, in a fashion. They had the RFA, they had Vanderwood, they had MC. A family of their own. Sitting down, he chuckled. “Now I gotta watch out for your pranks, huh?”
Caught, Saeran turned red and Saeyoung grinned.
#mystic messenger#707#luciel choi#saeran choi#saeyoung choi#mc#I would have posted this earlier#but I forgot about it since the discord got deleted too#whoops#fanfic
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Ticker Dialogue
In addition to the black-market debt-bond trading, Ticker also runs a shop called Ticker's Secondhand as her cover job. She sells Solaris-themed decorations for the Tenno to place in their Orbiters or Dojos, accepting debt-bonds as payment. She also will receive debt-bonds to be traded directly for Standing with Solaris United. With these exchanges, it is possible for a Tenno to essentially buy Solaris United Standing with credits, by purchasing debt-bonds and then redeeming the debt-bonds for Standing.
Like the other vendors in Fortuna, Ticker will reveal her true face, hidden in her chest compartment, when the Tenno reaches the rank of Old Mate with Solaris United.
Idle quotes
These are un-subtitled lines that Ticker says when she is not interacting with the Tenno.
"Hey there, Stardust. Our stock is hot, hot, hot, right now. Mmm, mmm!"
"Odds and ends need love too, sweet thing. Let's you and Ticker talk about giving something that once knew love a second lease on life."
"The once-loved in need of a little TLC, Stardust. I hope you came here with credits and good intentions."
"Hello, hello, hello! Old things looking for a new home at very reasonable prices. Under less stressful conditions."
"Every trinket a story! A story waiting to be shared, my lovely. A story waiting to be freed."
"Get over here, doll. Free love to a second home. Treasures that deserve a second chance."
"Let's go lovely, tippity-top!"
Greeting the Tenno
(if the Tenno is new to Fortuna) "Well, well. Look at you: a Tenno, fine, kind, and benign. Ticker can spot an ambidexter a block away, and, Stardust, you ain't it. So listen, and listen tight: my real line is debt forgiveness. Charity. You buy some poor rig jockey's debt, and they sidestep brain-shelving. Every sinner's a winner. Now… I'd appreciate you keepin' this little ol' conversation to yourself. And when I ask you for help, you look me in my baby blues and say 'yes'."
"Here's the kicker for Ticker: the Temple teaches charity? Mortal sin. Ticker gets caught helping a repo? That's me done, Stardust."
"Don't matter to Nef one whit if you're an engineer or a lowly thrower. You owe, you go. That's where Ticker comes in, ray of sunshine that she is."
"Well well, here comes hope for the hopeless. Gimme some good news, Stardust."
"Got good people hoping to see another sunrise. No time for sweet talk, Stardust. Save some lives."
"Time's running out for those on my books, Stardust. What have you got for me?"
"It takes long winter nights to teach a girl how to cultivate within herself invincible summer days."
"I've never met a priest who could tell you anything about Heaven, but they knew every square inch of Hell. They should. They built it."
"Ain't no victims on these lists, Stardust. Every one of them workin' against the impossible to make things right for them and theirs. Makes them a hero in Ticker's eyes. Still… like the man said… show me a hero and I'll write you a Void-damned tragedy."
"Best advice I was ever given? 'Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you.' I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter. Opened my eyes."
"Sometimes strangers don't know any better, but I swear to the Void… I do try to keep a lid on it, but sometimes the wrong thing just lets all the bats out."
"A person gets told a lot of things over the course of a life. Who they are. Who they should be. Amateurs, lecturing a professional. Anything that can't survive scrutiny, shouldn't."
(if the Tenno has just reached the rank Old Mate) "Ugh, finally. I do so prefer dealing with clients face-to-face, but, you know, one doesn't just give it up on the first date. Pleased to meet you. Again. Shall we deal?"
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "Well well, if it isn't my little spray of Stardust. Ticker's gonna put the comm on the hook and take five. How are you?"
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "Well! Pump the brakes, look who it is! Stardust. Where have you been?"
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "Ugh, Stardust, don't even ask what kinda day Ticker's having. Tell me about you."
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "Love took me places, Stardust. And love brought me back. We fell to this place together, he and I. But I was the only one who stood back up."
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "Modification's a strange bird, Stardust. It happens, and you think you've lost yourself. I was my arms, I was my legs, I was that person. But, live with it long enough, truth is, the only thing you didn't really lose was precisely who you are. Ain't nothin' left but what's behind your eyes. So you make sure that's beautiful. And Ticker… mmm mmm. She loves her some beauty."
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "I don't think much of myself, if I'm honest. Oh, don't misunderstand. Ticker's astounding and she knows it. Just that I've been so many people over the course of a life long lived. These days I think more of the world."
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "Stardust. Let's you and me talk about what I can do for you, then I've got to run a few nutrient canisters to little ol' Smokefinger. I swear if I didn't make him intake once a cycle he'd spend all week just staring at rocks."
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "Some think Zuud is a bit much, but I got time for the old lady…[sigh] and all her invisible friends. 'Ticker,' my mother once said. 'You be home by 12. The Void's takin' me at 12.' And, sure enough, I get home at 12:02 and there she is, dead in her rack. So yeah, I got time and an open mind. Anyway, what can I do you for?"
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "The Business loves Venus for the growing thing that it is. But not all things that grow are good. Bad days, Stardust. Bad days lead to bad thoughts, and bad thoughts grow like weeds. Livin' here, you learn fast: keep that garden tidy. Blood's a hell of a fertiliser."
(if the Tenno is rank Old Mate) "You like stories? Someone like you, Gara, faced up to an Eidolon – might as well have been a god – never blinked, saved a world. See, the value of stories isn't in telling you there are monsters, Stardust. It's in showing you they can be kicked square in the down-belows."
Opening a dossier
"Terrible choice to have to make."
"We all need help time to time."
"Life's a hell of an adventure, isn't it?"
"Comedy or tragedy, depending on your wage bracket. Isn't right."
"Some day, things will be different."
"Some see life as adversity, or adventure. The adventurers make it."
"Life's a ride, isn't it? Hell of a ride."
"They never gave up on themselves. We shouldn't either."
"They can save themselves, with a little help."
"They could use your help."
"There is no shame in helping your fellow creatures."
"Keep the light from dying inside them, Stardust."
"We all do what we can, Stardust."
"Everyone makes mistakes. Shouldn't be a crime."
"An entire life can change thanks to one act of kindness."
"Really quite sweet, that one."
"One of the good ones, that one."
Purchasing a dossier
"You're doin' good, Stardust."
"No guarantees in life, but that don't mean we gotta like it. Thank you."
"The life we get is so rarely the one we planned for. You've done good, Stardust."
"The only happiness we ever know is love, Stardust."
"The Void sent you to us, I'm sure of it."
"Your wish is my commish."
Exiting debt-trading without purchase
"We all do as best we can."
"I have other options. There may still be a chance."
"There's no shame in giving what you can, when you can."
Ticker's Secondhand
"Not sure what's in here, to be honest."
"See a little somethin'-somethin' to make a house a home?"
"Hey, this cover's gotta be useful for something."
"Ticker don't do retail, so… lemme know what you find."
Purchasing an item
"Isn't that a pretty little thing. Here y'go."
"Done deal, darlin'."
"…and this is for you."
Exiting Ticker's Secondhand without purchase
"Mm-hmm. Knowing when to move is half the game, luvvie."
"A cool head. I like that."
"Mm-hmm. Do what you gotta."
Redeeming debt-bonds for Standing
"Something you want to talk about?"
"What is it you have for us, Stardust?"
"I'm listening."
Upon redeeming debt-bonds
"Appreciated."
"Well, aren't you lovely."
"You're one of the good ones, Stardust, and no mistake."
Declining to redeem debt-bonds
"Something else?"
"Another time."
"Chek-chek."
Bidding farewell
"Check back in a little bit. New merchandise all the time. All the damn time."
"You know where to find me."
"I'll be here, til it's me on those dossiers. Til then, we dance, don't we, Stardust?"
Ticker's story is also told in the memory fragments scattered around the Orb Vallis.
Discussed in: Ticker
[Navigation: Hub → Dialogue → Ticker]
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“Are you okay down there?!,” a female voice boomed from above. “Don´t move! I called 911, help is on the way!”
Jared looked up but the darkness which had fallen over the Malibu hills shielded the owner of the voice from his gaze. Thank god she was there tho, whoever this saving angel was!
“Thanks,” he replied with a huff.
“Are you badly hurt? Can you move?,” the voice inquired. He could just about make out her shape hovering somewhere in the distance above him.
“Yeah I´m okay, but I think my ankle is broken.”
“Okay don´t move around, you´ll only make it worse. The medics will know what to do!”
“Thanks,” Jared sighed quietly from the pit.
Great. A broken ankle...
There goes that tour then.
How could he have been so careless?! He had been so deep in thought, so angry over Alice´s baby bombshell that he simply failed to notice that massive hole in his path before it was too late.
Before he now found himself sitting in a dark pit with a shattered ankle.😭
“Wow you really took a tumble, didn´t you?!”, the voice from above quizzed, snapping Jared back to reality.
"Yeah... I got distracted I guess...”
“Well don´t you worry, dude. You´ll be good as new in no time,” she continued as she laid down on the ground next to the hole.
“I´ll be up here keeping you company until the medics get here.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Jared answered back, feeling gratitude that this saving angel happened to be near in his time of need. Without her, this thing could have ended pretty badly!
“So what got you so distracted that you didn´t spot a huge hole in the ground, dude?”
"Eh... Nothing... Just preoccupied, I guess...”
“I get that,” the angel replied. “I sometimes come here too, to get away from... well, “nothing””.
“Yeah...,” Jared chuckled.
She seems cool.
“What’s your name?”
Ah… the dreaded question rang from above.
He didn’t want to tell her the truth.
What if she’s some crazy echelon psycho who loses her shit and jumps in the pit too? No room for heifers down here! 🐴
Or she could be a fame-hungry LA pap chaser who sells this story to the TMZ for 20 bucks… 😒💰
No, better play it safe and keep it neutral.
“I’m… uhm… Joseph.”
“You don’t sound sure, Joseph.”
She was very quick and alert, he noticed. Damn.
Maybe play it cool. She seems like she could take a joke.
“Well… I figured since we don’t know each other and I’m kinda at your mercy here… what if you’re like Kathy Bates in Misery and I gotta make a run for it?!”
“Oh… Well would be a kind of a sllllooooow run for it tho,” she quipped back with a giggle.
Phew! She got it.
She’s cool. She’s very cool.
“It’s actually my middle name. I sometimes use it when I wanna escape real life,” he continued.
“That’s smart, Joseph. I might start doing that too!,” the voice from above yelped excitedly.
“In fact: imma start right now!”
She rolled on her stomach and peeked her head in the pit, but in the pitch blackness there was no seeing her face from below ground. Only a few blonde-ish locks waving in the soft evening breeze.
“Hi, Joseph. I’m Michelle.”
Michelle.
Lovely name.
“Hi, Michelle.”
“Hi.” 😊
They both giggled and then fell silent. Michelle’s head disappeared from above as she retreated back to lie on her back next to the pit.
“Sooo… Did you just make up that name, Michelle?”
“It’s my middle name. I figured that was our thing, "Joseph”,“ she laughed.
Aaaaaaah, we have a "thing” now…😏
Jared always enjoyed a bit of flirting with the fairer sex, and since he´s now stuck in this pit...
“So... eh... what do you do, Michelle?”
“I… uhm… I… I suppose you could say I’m a… housewife…”
“Well now YOU don’t sound sure!,” Jared picked up on her hesitation.
She chuckled.
“Oh you noticed that… Well it’s a relatively new thing so I’m still getting used to it, I guess! How about you?”
Crap…
Another opportunity for exposure.
“Well… I work for a record company.”
Technically not a lie! 😁
“Aaaah so you’re in the music business?”
“A little bit yeah.”
“A musician?”
“Uh… part-time.”
Technically also not a lie! 😝
“Would I have ever heard any of your music, you think?”
Goooooooood, if only… 😞
“I… uh… probably not.”
His heart sniffled. 😔
“Oh… Well maybe one day, Joseph!”
“Yeah… maybe…”
Well now he wasn’t just lying to her… He was also lying to himself. 😶
They both fell silent, just laying there in the moonlight, one in a pit and one above ground, staring up at the starry sky. Jared felt oddly at peace, even tho he was stuck in a pit with just this one stranger keeping him attached to life outside his hole.
Their silence was peculiarly comfortable.
Just two strangers, sharing a moment in the wilderness.
“So what brought you up here this evening then?,” Jared finally decided to spark up their conversation again since the medics seemed to be taking their sweet time.
“Well… I was at this party with my husband and-”
“Oh… You’re married?”
Bummer.😔
“Yes. I’m a housewife, remember?”
“Oh…”
For some reason Jared felt a little bit hurt by this news.
“Anyway, so tonight I’m at this party with my husband we got into an argument and I took off ‘cos otherwise I might have slapped him… So I just drove around and finally ended up here!”
“What’d he do?”
Michelle laughed.
She had a wonderful laughter. Warm, catchy, strangely familiar.
“What makes you think it was his fault?”
“Oh please, isn’t it always the dude’s fault?,” Jared snorted sarcastically.
His quip was met with more giggles.
Her giggles made him giggle under his breath as well.
“Well… yeah! Why is that tho?!,” she quipped. “Men are always stirring up shit!”
“Heeeeeey, that’s not true! Women are the nutters who constantly create drama and misunderstand everything! I swear women have some weird-ass gene that makes them incapable of letting shit go,” Jared protested.
Still more giggles from above.
Jared enjoyed knowing he could make her laugh so effortlessly.
“So what did this hubby of yours do then?”
Michelle described how they had gotten into an argument over her hubby’s upcoming work trips abroad, and how she jumped in her car to drive off for some alone cooling-off time. Jared listened quietly in his pit, soaking in her stories as her mesmerizing voice filled the air...
Her voice made him feel warm even tho temperatures in his little prison were slowly dropping.
She effortlessly moved on to chatting about her love of nature and surfing, and Jared entertained her with (partly truthful) tales from his rock climbing treks.
They shared giggles and witty back and forth banter as the minutes ticked by, and Michelle even playfully “scolded” Jared by throwing her Manolo Blahnik at him when he made yet another sarcastic remark about what bitches all women are.
He didn’t mind being shoe’d by her.
“You sound bitter, Joseph. Girl trouble?”
He hesitated with his reply.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”
“It’s just… really complicated right now,” Jared sighed quietly. He wasn’t quite ready to get into that whole Alice/baby mess yet.
Michelle peeked her head through the hole again.
“It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.”
“Thanks.”
Jared again tried to make out her face in the darkness but… nope.
But going by her dreamy, comforting voice and fun, sparkling personality, she no doubt was beautiful on the outside too.
A silence descended upon their little “campsite” again.
“Wanna know something funny, Joseph? Your voice sounds familiar.”
“Oh…?”
Jared still didn’t wanna explain to her why that might be…
“It’s… uh… it’s probably just a really common voice, I get that a lot,” he fibbed, hoping she wouldn’t probe more. For some reason he, a proud lifetime-long Liar Extraordinaire, felt bad about lying to her.
She was so nice and helpful and made him feel safe even tho he was sat almost 3 meters underground in a dirty pit in pitch blackness..
“Oh… Yeah that must be it,” she replied.
“In LA you meet so many people that names and faces and voices all start sounding the same.”
"Yeah,” Jared replied. On one hand his ego was nagging him to let her in on his real identity so he could get some much-needed fawning-over which would be more than welcome after the shitty day he had lived through, but still he held back.
“Your heel broke btw,” he said as he picked up her stray shoe and took a closer look.
“Damn... I just bought those last week!,” Michelle sighed.
“Don´t worry, I´ll buy you new ones if I ever get out.”
“Thanks but I don´t know if my husband would like it if strange men bought me shoes,” Michelle giggled.
“Ugh fine, coffee then! Surely this dude won´t mind if I treat you to a beverage?!”
“I´m sure coffee would be ok,” Michelle agreed.
“Okay good, it´s a date then,” Jared smirked in the darkness.
If this chick is even halfway decent in the looks department, and more importantly in the weight department, he knew once the secret of his identity was revealed, she´d be thanking HIM for... well, for whatever would happen after he invited her over for a... “cup of coffee”... ☕
“Shhh! Listen,” the angel interrupted his daydreams. “I think I hear the ambulance”. 🚑
“Ah thank god,” Jared sighed in relief. Finally he could get out of this stinkin´ hole!
Altho in all fairness this evening had not been a total disaster... This savior angel had not only physically helped him in his hour of need by calling for help and staying to make sure he was okay, but also helped him get his mind off that scandalous baby business back home...
Perhaps, since they now had this nice connection established, if there was trouble in her marriage and seeing as there definitely was trouble in his own little relationship, maybe... maybe... 😜
Jared heard a car approaching and a male voice joined Michelle.
"What´s your husband´s name, ma´am?”
“Oh no, that´s not my husband! I just happened to be nea-... actually I don´t even know his name!”
She peeked in again.
“Yo! What´s your name? Like... REAL name.”
Well, there was no use in hiding it anymore...
“I´m Jared,” he answered. “Jared Leto.”
Silence.
A loooooong silence.
All Jared could hear were nasty ants scurrying around him in the pit and the medics shuffling around somewhere above him, but other than that...
Nothing.
“Hello...?,” Jared hollered. “Are you still there?”
“Uh... Yeah... I´m here...,” Michelle answered. Her voice sounding unsure and a bit strained all of a sudden.
“So who´s this guy down there then?,” Jared heard a male voice coming closer and saw a dark figure appearing above.
“He´s... eh... Jared Leto,” she replied with a slight stutter and a half-chuckle as she disappeared from Jared´s view.
“Right, okay. Well, let´s get him out then!”, the medic sounded unimpressed as he leaped into the pit, craftily maneuvering himself so he didn´t land on his patient. A quick check on the ankle revealed that luckily it indeed wasn´t broken but definitely severely twisted so a trip to the ER was still needed.
A second medic appeared above, and then a third. They lowered a few ropes down the pit and Jared sighed in relief as he was finally hoisted out of his underground prison, two men pulling from above and one pushing his ass from below.
Once he was safely back on solid ground, the three men helped him to a gurney.
"Did you wash your hands after your last patient?,” Jared asked as he was being strapped in.
“Sir, I´m wearing gloves,” the medic replied with a slight eye roll.
“Good! I´m very sensitive to germs.”
“Well you must have had fun down there in your hole then...,” the medic chuckled.
“Listen, Seinfeld. I´m not paying you to do stand-up over here. You better get me to a hospital asap before I have your license.”
The medic thought it best to not even respond, but rather just quietly rolled the gurney to the ambulance.
“WAIT!,” Jared yelped just as they reached the car.
“What, sir? Are you in pain?”
“Where´s that woman who called you?”
"I... I don´t know. I guess she left,” the medic replied.
“WHAT?! What do you mean she left?! She can´t just leave, I don´t even know her name!”
“Calm down, sir. Please, we need to get moving, we have a long wa-”
“No we can´t go! Go out and look if she´s still there!,” Jared demanded. “I need to see her again! We had this connection and-...”
“Sir, this is an ambulance. Not a tinderlance. We´re going now,” the medic calmly replied as he shoved the gurney inside and started filling his patient´s information on his clipboard form.
“Let´s go, Larry!,” the medic called out to the driver.
“YOU MOVE THIS FUCKING THING ONE INCH AND I SWEAR I´LL HAVE YOU ALL FIRED!,” Jared screamed at the top of his lungs.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU´RE DEALING WI-,”
“Wooooow... Talk about a blast from the past...” the familiar female voice suddenly sounded from somewhere off to the side just as the doors swung close.
“WAIT! That´s her!,” Jared yelped again. “Don´t go, I need your number!”
He didn´t get a reply but instead heard her giggling outside.
"Michelle! Can you hear me?! I don´t know your last name! Please!” 🙏🏻
No response, just giggles.
The ambulance driver slowly started backing away, despite Jared knocking on the side windows to grab Michelle´s attention.
There was no response coming, and in a last ditch effort Jared grabbed the medic´s clipboard.
“Hey, you can´t read that! It´s privileged information!”
“Oh shut up, that´s MY information!,” Jared barked.
Her name has to be in there somewhere...
Jared glanced the clipboard up and down, looking for some clues to who had alerted the medics to save him, and finally at the bottom of the page...
“There it is!,” he shrieked.
“identity of 911 caller: Phone number 555-9227. Name: Cameron Di...”
He froze for a second and looked up at the window as the ambulance slowly pulled away, only to spot his saving angel waving him goodbye with a smile, the ambulance lights finally revealing her face... 😲
DISCLAIMER AND RULES
(PS. Thanks for the vote and fic idea, anon! I took some liberties with the execution tho... hehe...)
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I’m A Spider, So What? – 119
Laser Eyes!! Well, not really, but...
Ugh, still descaling?
[Switch with me, then.]
But I refuse!
Descaling everything still seems to be happening. So, in the meantime, let's use up these new skill points and pick up a new Evil Eye. Thanks to my four new levels, I've earned two hundred skill points, which is enough for one of these higher-grade Evil Eyes. The ones I can get for two hundred points are:
Evil Eye of Lightning (200): Applies lightning-attributed damage to a target in your field of view.
Evil Eye of Wind (200): Applies wind-attributed damage to a target in your field of view.
Evil Eye of Earth (200): Applies earth-attributed damage to a target in your field of view.
Evil Eye of Heaviness (200): Applies weight-attributed damage to a target in your field of view.
Evil Eye of Darkness (200): Applies darkness-attributed damage to a target in your field of view.
Evil Eye of Soul Rending (200): Applies the Corruption Magic spell "Soul Rending" to a target in your field of view.
Evil Eye of Stupefaction (200): Applies the Corruption Magic spell "Stupefaction" to a target in your field of view.
It's come to this. The kinds of Evil Eye I could buy with a hundred points were all status-affliction types, but these all look like elemental damage types. The elements I'm weak against, like fire, take even more points to get.
Those two Corruption-attributed skills look really nasty, but I think I'm definitely going to learn those spells as part of Corruption Magic at some point so, once again, I'll pass on those.
And, as such, I'm left with the elemental-attributed Evil Eyes... but now I'm not sure what to pick. The one I'd have the best affinity to is probably the Darkness one, but I don't really want to make that element any more central to my strategies. I may have more means of attack right now, but, in the past, all I had was my silk and my poison. If either of those got countered, my chances of victory straight-up vanished. I can't really believe that all the different forms of attack I now have could all be simultaneously countered, but even still I think it's best for me to have a very broad spectrum of possible attacks. So, Darkness is out.
That leaves me with four: Wind, Lightning, Earth, and Heaviness. Except, um... what the heck is an Evil Eye of Earth? What would that even look like? I can't even imagine. I really want to try it just to see, but I have a hunch that it would be completely useless to anything that could fly through the air. That's probably not actually the case, but there is that one worst-case-scenario. Let's give up on Earth.
Three more. Still can't decide.
Wind, I think, is probably going to blast anyone in my line of sight with shockwaves. Wouldn't that be something I could use defensively too, though? Like countering fireballs as they fly towards me. The effect is applied to "a target in my field of view" so I think those might actually be legal targets.
Lightning is a straight-up attack type. Out of the three options I have left, this looks like the most powerful. I'm kinda curious about it, because lightning is usually associated with things like paralysis, isn't it? If it did apply paralysis, then if I also used the Evil Eye of Paralysis, maybe the rate of effect would go up. It's pretty likely that that's not the case though...
Heaviness makes me think of gravity. The other two look like single-shot attack types, but this feels like it a continuous effect. It would magnify the force of gravity on a target, I think.
Each of them have their strong points, so I still can't decide. Hmmmm...
Alright, got it!
“You currently possess 200 skill points. The skill [Evil Eye of Heaviness (LV 1)] can be acquired for 200 skill points. Would you like to acquire it now?”
Yes.
“You have acquired the skill [Evil Eye of Heaviness (LV 1)]. You have 0 skill points remaining.”
The skill I've selected, after all that worry, is Evil Eye of Heaviness, because I think that it'll let me hinder my opponent's movements. I can slow them with Heaviness, weaken them with Curses, and finish them off with Paralysis to shut them down completely. My Evil Eye triple combo is complete!
So, I've tried focusing my Evil Eyes around stopping my enemies' movements. I've got other relatively strong offensive moves as well. If it comes down to it, I can get a more suitable magic skill when I get a hundred points again.
Huh? Maybe doing that to begin with would have been better, wouldn't it? I've been really focused on Evil Eyes, but... I'm really well specced for status-affecting magics, aren't I? Getting magic skills would have been a better idea, wouldn't it?
Of course not. Let's stay the course. I'm absolutely not unhealthily fixated on the idea of blasting out eight Evil Eyes simultaneously. This is a fact, because I'm telling you it's a fact.
Well, no matter what I do in the future, I've got to save up my points for now, huuuuh... I don't actually know how many bonus points I'll get when I evolve, you knoooow... Let's just adjust my actual strategy depending on how many points evolving is worth. If it's a lot, then I might start looking at some of the stupid expensive skills, like Sloth, that I've been thinking are out of my reach.
Now then, now then! I did not pick up the Evil Eye of Heaviness solely for combat purposes, you know. Let's give it a shot: Evil Eye, activate!!
[Guh! What are you doing, Commander Information!]
What? Oh, I'm trying on some extra gravity.
[It's heavy!!]
I've been thinking. You know what I don't have enough of? Muscle!
[Oh god, what is she talking about...]
The Z-Fighters train under many times normal gravity so that they can gain the power they need to defeat their oncoming foes!
[Ah... I mean, I understand what you're saying, but this is kind of getting in the way of descaling, you know?]
There's no point to it if you don't get used to it being on all the time!
{This is great! You got this, Commander Body!}
[Just die!!]
And, so, I've started constantly weighing myself down with extra gravity. Yep. This Evil Eye seems like it does exactly what I thought it did: increase the gravity on anything that enters my field of view. If I keep this on me all the time, then not only is my skill proficiency going to go up, but I'm positive my physical stats will raise as well. If everything goes great, my Greater Strength skill might even go up as well.
Right now my Evil Eye is still at level one, so it's only a little heavy, but as the level starts increasing, it'll start being a huge weight. When the next battle comes around, I can drop this effect at will, like I'm disabling the limiters on my power level. This is going to be great! I'm really going to want to scream "Limit Break!!" when I do that.
...No voice is actually going to come out, though.
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Ugh I did the thing again where I was busy all week and forgot to post on here. So here’s a lightning fast recap of my workouts from the past week, if you care at all. I actually think I worked out (ish, except Friday kinda) every day which is a first in a while. Bless.
Tues Mar 21
Abs and shopping. I went home after work to get my car so that I could drive to trainings the next two days, but went out to Target as soon as I got home, cause duh. Stupid idea to try on like real clothes tho, my self-conscious ass was like ohhhhh no way you need to tighten up those saddle bags and that back fat before you get any of this. So. I got a crop sweatshirt and athletic leggings, felt bad about myself but hadn’t had dinner, so I went to Wawa. Woof.
3x each
15 reps straight leg raises
15 reps roll ups
leaning camel x 45s
bird dogs x 45s
60 reps heal touches
plank 35s, 40s, 45s
10 reps assisted push up
40 reps russian twists 8#
alternating superman 1 min
15 reps single leg pulses
Wed Mar 22
Run on the trail after this horrific training class in which I was literally the only student for an all day session. And I had to go back the next day 😩 went to Marshall’s before my run to see if I could find any cold weather gear bc I only had my sweatshirt, gloves, wool earwarmers, and thin leggings. Didn’t find any of that, but got those AMAZING NEON PINK LEGGINGS IN THAT ONE PICTURE and some other ones too. You know me, can’t stay away from that athleisure ish.
It was hella freezing and took me so long to warm up once I started on the trail. Fortunately it was so picturesque and my music was bangin so. I survived.
2.78 mi
9'55" min / mi
Thurs Mar 23
6 x 200m sprints on the trail. Bless up, convinced my instructor to finish early bc tbh he was not really all that helpful once I started following the book that was included, so I went to the mall and got some more athleisure (deh), cheap sunglasses, athletic ear warmers for $.50 each, a VERY cute lightweight rain jacket, and (!!!!!) these black leather slip-on sneakers I’ve been looking for for like 6 months. I just caved and got the name brand ones but stILl omg I’m so excited about them I finally found them.
Started the sprints in the cotton leggins I was wearing, then after like maybe 9 or 10 strides I was like oh FUCk no they suddenly lost all their elasticity and I was having to pull them up for my life. So after completely embarrassing myself hoisting those mothereffers up for my first sprint, I jumped in the car and changed into spandex pants, then zoomed back to the trail start and actually did my workout. Good thing my house is only 8 minutes away from that part of the trail.
I think I may have mis-read what my Nike app was telling me to do, but I’m pretty sure it said to do 6 x 200m sprints with 4:45 min in between. So that’s essentially what I did, I sprinted for the 200m and ran / jogged in between. Although the app only recorded the distance for the sprints, I wanna say I did a little more than the day before, since I went further on the trail. I hate that you can’t go back and check what it told you to do; you only see how you actually ran according to the app. Lame af. Though I was proud, I increased my sprint speed at almost every length except the 3rd.
0.77mi
6'59" min / mi
(lol can’t believe I actually ran a mile faster than that at one point in my life holy shit)
Fri Mar 24
No real workout here, since I had to leave work early to take the train back to le Nova for Palooza. I scarfed down a Snap pizza (the classic spot) right before the show, and somehow stayed away from the dangers of late night college food. Though I did get all my steps in my showing one of our friends’ home friend around campus, and apparently that little tour counted for a nice brisk walk. Obvi the Snovas killed it, as a great opener for what my friends and I dubbed AcaWeekend. Saturday they’d be competing at ICCA regional semifinals #pitchperfect for the first time ever, which was so exciting. Palooza the day before was just their warmup, but fortunately we got to see two new songs from them. It kinda sucked for them though bc they went first out of the seven groups and the sound guys always need a few groups to warm up before they actually refine the balance, and they just sounded muddled. Womp. Oh well. Everyone knows they’re/we’re the best anyway. Proud alum.
Sat Mar 25
Run in the morning before the day’s festivities. This was a quick workout before most of the humans who stayed in my apartment became humans, a brief mile ish to the waterfront and back. I realized I’d been wearing a blueish shirt and black leggings in literally all of my pics lately so I spiced it up with these fun stripey ones. Lol.
We adventured to brunch, where I had a yummy spinach and goat cheese salad with fig dressing, and wandered around the city for the afternoon before we had to head to semis. I splurged on Hunger Burger at RTM because I told myself that this was my indulgence for the weekend, and I wasn’t going to be drinking anymore for the next few months (it’s not like I do it that often anyway, I just want to try it to see how it helps my training/weight loss, if at all), so I got a specialty thin mint shake. Woops. Honestly, it was so worth it though, and I didn’t even end up eating most of the fries anyway, so it wasn’t the worst I could’ve done.
At semis, there were literally so many good groups and we were all like oh shit how are they going to stack up?? But Snovas SLAYED even better than they did last time and ENDED UP IN THIRD PLACE WHICH IS THE CRAZIEST BEST HONOR WE’VE EVER GOTTEN AND IT’S JUST SO COOL!!!!! A cappella is the shit, guys, I swear. I’m so proud of those kiddos, and they get to submit a wildcard video for a chance at Finals in NYC which is like legitimately insane. They’re somewhere in the top 18-27 groups in the country right now, and coming from a school where we legit don’t have music majors and a joke of a music activities staff / support, this coulD NOT be cooler. They murdered it. And so did all the other groups at semis, like damn. We weren’t even sure anything was gonna happen for them, but they clearly did some things right. Ugh so obvi we celebrated when we got back to Philly, going to a few bars and ending up at Frankford, where we got some amazing soft pretzels and other snacks. Best day ever.
1.26 mi
9'21" min / mi
1.32 mi
10'03" min / mi
Sun Mar 26
Long ish run and relaxing. Got up and was worried about the weather forecast for Monday because I was supposed to be doing my long run for next week then, and it was going to be torrentially downpouring all day, so I was hoping to switch my days because the weather was decent enough that I could’ve done it on Sunday. But then I updated my app and A, it changed my schedule for this week anyway, and B, I remember I could’ve moved it anyway if I wanted to. So instead I went and did that 5K Sunday challenge thing that it introduced. And I ran back from there, so it actually was closer to the 5 miles I had wanted to do anyway. So ya.
I felt a little subconscious in these leggings because, though they are a spectacularly bright and amazing color, they also show my cellulite on the back of my legs… but I thought, fuck it, people will see me, and if they give me a look, I’ll just push harder and show them that cellulite means nothing if you’re fast and capable and strong. So. I used it to empower me, I guess.
Spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching ICCA videos, still hyped up on the Snovas victory. Legit it’s still coming to me in waves, it’s actually incredible.
3.11 mi
9'41" min / mi
1.53 mi
9'44" min /mi
Mon Mar 27
Full body circuit and a benchmark run. Work is starting to bore me so much lol on Monday I think I may have done approximately 2 work related things all day, otherwise I was just distracted. I decided to do a NTC workout and then my benchmark, so I chose Body Flexor 2.0, which worked a lot of different areas and was pretty fun. Then I ran on the treadmill for my benchmark for the first time, which was weird knowing my exact speed at certain times and being able to force myself to a certain pace. If I have to do it that way again, next time I’ll just cover the numbers and just focus on how it feels to push hard. The picture up there is me literally dying because of how sweaty I was. Plus fun leggings from Marshall’s.
1.54 mi
9'49" min / mi
Tues Mar 28
Abs / some arms, plus 20 minutes on the elliptical. I was an idiot today, and not only forgot a hair tie after my shower, but I left my phone at home, which I realized too late in the elevator on the way to work. Nice. So I had to go without both all day, though Kelly let me borrow a hair tie so I could work out thank GoD cause I was looking at using a legit rubber band, which would’ve been awful. The moves I chose for abs today ended up also working my arms a lot, which was nice to combo them. Because I didn’t have my phone, I just kind of had to make up my elliptical workout, which was meh but whatever. Next time I’ll be prepared. That’s definitely not my favorite type of cardio anyway.
Tonight I made these AMAZING baked zucchini fries, I probably could’ve eaten like 90 million in one sitting they were so crunchy and good. My sweet potato fries didn’t turn out so good (I actually burned the shit out of them, but I’m going to attempt to eat them tomorrow for lunch anyway 🙃) but I’m happy I’m trying new things in the kitchen, even if it’s taking me like 3 hours each time lolol.
I’m down a few pounds from last week, though, which is kind of nice! A little affirmation after working hard every day.
3x each
15 reps dumbbell side bends alt. sides 8#
15 reps twisting core stabilizers alt. sides 8#
15 reps bow extensions alt. sides 8#
15 reps woodchops 8#
10 reps windmills 5#
40 reps russian twists 8#
30 s plank
7 reps full extension inch worms
15 reps in-&-outs
Wooooof I’m going to try to post more often now that I’m all caught up. Lol it may last for a day but you know. #Goals.
#Nike Running#NIKE#nike running club#running#half marathon training#villanova#icca#a cappella#college a cappella#pitch perfect#nike run club#marchrunclub#fitness#fitspo#fitblr#fitness journey#runblr#motivation#body positive#athleisure#target#nike training club#ntc#marshall's#nutrition#cheat day#healthy#fitness goals#zucchini fries#athleisure aesthetic
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