#two fics in three day whoo

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐢'𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

pairing: jisung x fem!reader (afab)

genre: sick!fic. idol!jisung. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. reader pov. established relationship.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. this one has got the angst. jisung isn't taking care of himself properly :(. reader is worried and takes it upon herself to take care of the precious dumpling. mentions of jisung spiraling/having a mental breakdown. mentions of panic attacks, anxiety, weight loss, and insomnia. pet names (affectionately). some toothe-rotting fluff and humor.

word count: 2.6k

summary: after a bout of not seeing your boyfriend jisung, you take it upon yourself to visit him one night in the studio. but what you find when you get there is the opposite of a happy sight.

a/n: whoo i haven't written a skz fic in a hot minute ever since my midterms started three weeks ago (and since this final month of the semester has been fucking me over big time). 👹 but this was really fun to write and omg ji is so cute and precious i wanna hold and take care of him forever!! 🥹 i hope to get out a few more skz fics this weekend, so please be on the lookout for those too~ and thanks for reading and supporting my work, it means a lot to me (also, i'm almost at 500 followers, wtf?!)!! 💖

🤎 - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌!

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ

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. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ

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. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). © ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

It had been such a long time since you had visited your boyfriend Jisung at his studio. Usually, the two of you would spend time with each other whence he got home from his schedules - after the two of you had worked long and hard days. The two of you liked to spend your time together by playing various video games, binging your favourite animes, and catching up on the latest comics released by your loved authors. 

 But lately, it felt like you hadn’t seen Jisung in such a long time - even if it had only been a week. Since Stray Kids had started working on their upcoming comeback, your boyfriend spent most of his time at the company or in the studio. So that little space for you guys to catch up with each other at the end of the day was suddenly gone because of his new schedule. 

 And you wanted to change that. 

 So on that random Thursday night, you decided to surprise Jisung with a visit to his studio. And of course, you brought a large offering of food with you - which included all kinds of takeout like pizza, fried chicken, and more. 

 You arrived later at the company building than you wanted to - around ten at night - since you didn’t expect to wait so long for the food to arrive at your nearby apartment. 

 Nevertheless, as you stepped through the front doors of the company, you noticed how utterly silent it was. After all, the staff were done for the day and the only people that remained were the trainees and idols who always worked late into the night on various projects. 

 You shifted down the dark hallways silently, like a ghost. And when you finally neared the door that lead to Jisung’s studio, a huge smile spread across your lips. Because finally, you were getting to see him again. Even if it was only for a little while, an hour spent with your boyfriend would be the highlight of your entire day. 

 So you filed through the door slowly, trying to lighten your footsteps to surprise Jisung. The beat he was working on flowed around the room, the bass vibrating in the nearby speakers. The dim led-lights cast a pale blue room against the walls, calming a restless part inside of you. He was seated at his large desk, completely focused on the two monitors in front of him. Your boyfriend had his headphones on, his head bobbing along to the music, which left you with the perfect opportunity to sneak up on him. 

 Placing the bags of takeout down on the nearby coffee table that was placed just in front of the large leather sofa in the room, you crept up behind him. Reaching out, one of your hands grabbed onto his shoulder. 

 Immediately upon contact, Jisung let out a loud shriek. And within a single beat, he was ripping off his headphones and twisting around in his chair, sandy-blonde hair messy and eyes wild in fright. 

 But then, as soon as his gaze landed on you, relief washed over his face in the form of a pleased smile. “Baby-” He said in a light tone, swiveling his chair around and facing you completely. 

 “Uhm- hi,” you began, twisting your hands together in front of you in sudden nervousness. You didn’t know why you were suddenly tongue-tied around him. The two of you had been dating for what felt like years - and you usually didn’t react in such a way when he used the pet name 'baby' on you. But perhaps, it was because it had been so long since you visited him in his studio - since you had entered his sacred space and breathed the same air as him as he composed his music. Nevertheless, you mimicked his smile, before motioning with your head to the nearby table that was laden with food. “I brought dinner.” 

 At that, his smile dropped just a little bit. “Oh… thanks, baby. I’ll eat it when I can, yeah?” His focus darted to the plastic bags for just a moment, before they landed back on you. A tiny smirk spread across his lips then, as he said in a playful voice, “Quit standing over there and c’mere, I wanna get a taste of your beautiful lips.” 

 A furious blush bloomed across your cheeks as you slowly stepped into his space. Jisung wrung his arms around your waist, helping you to sit down on his lap. In an instant, he captured your mouth in a passionate, almost desperate kiss. He must’ve been feeling the effects of your absence too.

“Ji- wait,” you started, drawing away from his kisses to take a few quick breaths. Your heart was beating wildly against your ribcage, as you noticed the way that his dark, chestnut-brown eyes filled with so much love as he looked on at you in bated silence. “I don’t want the food to get cold. Let’s eat…” But then, your voice trailed off as you began to notice the slight changes in his features since the last time that you had been him. 

 Because you were sitting so close to him on his lap, you had a clearer view of his face - and how his cheeks looked a little more deflated than usual, how dark circles hung underneath his eyes, and his hair was so disheveled to the point that it looked like it hadn’t been washed in a few days. 

 “Babe- are you okay?” You suddenly asked, palm coming up between the two of you and pressing gently against his cheek. It was slightly cool to the touch, something very unlike him - since you always joked that he was your furnace. “When’s the last time you ate something?” 

 Your gaze locked with your boyfriend’s then, as he stayed silent. The quietness stretched between you, dancing around the room and only heightening your concern. 

 Because oh- 

 Oh, holy fuck- 

 He was doing it again. 

 He was letting himself slip… just like in the past, when the boys had been so incredibly busy with their schedules. 

 At first, it just started as little warning signs… 

 Less of an appetite, 

 More fatigue, 

 Restless nights of sleep. 

 But then, 

 Then- the symptoms would always get worse. 

 They usually always resulted in a heightened sense of anxiety and stress and heartache. 

 Or worse, panic attacks.

 You had seen him fall off the cliffside only two times before when his schedule had been swamped with activities. And the last time it had happened - which was well over a year before - you had promised yourself that you’d never let it happen again.  

 That late, stormy night, the two of you had been sprawled out atop your plush mattress, surrounded by the four walls of your bedroom that were dim with shadows. And you had held a weak and thin and weeping Jisung in your arms in a tight embrace, as you vowed to his shaking form that you’d never allow him to fall so deep into the hole of darkness. 

Never again. 

So, pressing both of your palms to his cheeks, you forced him to look you straight in the eyes. He was a horrible liar. Jisung could never deny you when you stared deep into his eyes, so that’s exactly what you did. 

 “Now look at me and tell me that you’ve eaten something today, baby.” The words came out a little strangled at the end, and the sharp intake of breath that fell from Jisung’s lips was all you needed to know at that moment. 

 Immediately, you felt your lips quiver in a sob, as you fully leaned into him. Wrapping both arms around his waist in a tight grip, you buried your face into his warm neck, struggling to breathe as worried thoughts began to race through your mind. 

 “It hasn’t been that long, I swear-” He finally said, his soft voice taking a sharp blade to the tension that hung between the two of you. You felt his fingers grasp at your sides, digging into the fabric of your thick, oversized hoodie. “Just… it’s been so hectic around here that I haven’t found the time to-”

 At that, you frantically pushed away from him, “There’s never an excuse, baby. Never. I don’t care how busy you are- you need to eat. You need to sleep… even if it’s just a few hours a night. You need to take care of yourself, because-” Your words cut off then, as the lump in your throat solidified and the tears began to flow from the corners of your eyes, heating your flushed cheeks. 

 “Because what, baby girl?” He questioned, his eyes softening exponentially at the sight of your tears. He reached forward, tucking a strand of your hair behind one of your ears before he brushed a few of your tears away with a gentle thumb. 

 “Because… I can’t lose you, Ji. I- I-” The breath caught in your throat then, as all of the fears of what could happen raced through your mind then. Of what could’ve happened if you hadn’t caught it in time. If you hadn’t visited him that night and hadn’t seen him up close. “I’m sorry… for visiting you so late, I-I should’ve been here, and I wasn’t.” 

 Jisung silenced you with a kiss, delicately pressing his forehead against yours, the scent of him - of freshly cleaned linen and sweet chamomile tea - danced around you. It reminded you of how familiar he felt, how sweet and kind and beautiful he was. And how you never, ever wanted to let him go. 

 “Please don’t apologize, sweetheart,” he began in a low, gruff voice, his words slightly strained in emotion. “I should be the one apologizing. I told you last time that I’d never let it get this far, yet here I am…” 

 You cracked your eyes open to the sight of his furrowed brows and saw the weary light that filled his gaze at that exact moment. “No- no it’s okay, Ji. You don’t have to say sorry, I understand you.” You flattened both hands against his chest, slowly pressing against the muscle there. “Just… just let me take care of you, yeah? Let me help you gain strength again.” 

 A tiny grin cracked across his mouth at your words, and he canted his head to one side, focus landing on the table just behind you, which was full of the food that you had brought with you. “If helping me gain my strength back includes devouring that food over there, I’m all for it.” He said in a mischievously-dark tone. 

 You rose an eyebrow his way, “It also includes you promising me that you’ll get a minimum of four hours of sleep every night... at least until you're done with promotions for this comeback.” 

 He let out a loud groan, pressing his head against the back of his chair in apparent agony. “Four hours? Babe- you’re killing me here.” He whined, screwing his eyes shut and frowning in displeasure. 

 “Well, it’s either that or- six hours.” 

 Jisung flashed you a glare, but it wasn’t menacing in the least bit. Instead, it only made you giggle in delight at the sight of it. Because suddenly, you realized that upon first entering his studio and seeing him, he had been acting… different. 

 More exhausted than usual, 

 And even... weary. 

 But soon after having cracked him open, and discovering his struggles with facing another downward spiral, your boyfriend immediately brightened. 

 Like, just the sight of you had helped relieve some of the pain.

Even if the circles were still dark under his eyes and even if his cheekbones were a little gaunt, at least he was starting to come back to his usual, bright self.

 “Well now, four hours doesn’t seem too unreasonable…” Jisung started, running a hand through his hair and chuckling faintly. 

 You stood up from his lap then, nearing the table that was full of food and taking a seat on the sofa. “Good. Now c’mere, I’m starving.” You patted the space beside you, offering your boyfriend a warm smile. 

 “I haven’t eaten since… I can’t even remember when. I think it was last night’s dinner with the guys.” Jisung confessed as he took the seat beside you, already prying open one of the bags. His entire face lit up at the sight of the glistening, still-hot fried chicken. He turned to you then, a goofy kind of smile adorning his face. “Oh- what am I ever going to do with you? You’re just too perfect for me!” 

 Without any warning, Jisung was pulling you into a tight hug, peppering kiss after kiss across your entire face. You tried to protest against his affection - but in all actuality, you secretly adored it. Adored his attention and love. And of course, he knew this. So it wasn’t until you finally managed to throw him off of you that he stopped and leveled you with a mirthful smirk. 

 “Yeah, okay- I get it, you love me.” You playfully rolled your eyes at him, inclining over the table and grabbing a saucy drumstick for yourself. 

 The silence lapsed between the two of you for a few beats, as you focused on the meal. When suddenly, Jisung was speaking again, but in a much quieter voice than before. 

 “Thank you, baby.” 

 You turned to him, brows slightly furrowing in question as you chewed on a slice of cheese pizza. 

 “I mean… you didn’t have to do any of this,” he looked around the table that was full of steaming hot takeout. “Yet, you still did. You visited me at my studio to surprise me, but I think you might’ve saved me in the process too.”

 You reached over then, brushing a few of your fingers against his cheek. He leaned into the touch, holding your hand close to his skin. “That’s what I’m here for, babe… to make you feel better. And I’ll always be here, no matter what. So every time you start to feel shitty, just call me, and I’ll be here in a heartbeat.” 

 Jisung turned his face then, pressing a few delicate kisses against your fingertips. “And I hope you know that I’ll do the same for you, princess. Always. Whenever you need me, I’m here.” 

 Smiling, you tilted in once more to press a kiss against his lips. And in a split second, he was kissing you back. More fervently this time, and when the two of you pulled apart to catch your breaths, you felt the flush from before start to brighten your cheeks again. 

 “Holy fuck- I’m never getting enough of you,” was all that you heard your boyfriend say before he was tipping back into you to push his perfect, rosebud-like mouth against yours.

 After a few beats of silence that were only filled with your kisses, you slanted away from your boyfriend and glared his way, “Okay, okay- but you better stop now mister, before I truly get angry.” 

 He wiggled his eyebrows at you, a devilish smirk widening the corners of his mouth. “Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do if I don’t stop?” 

 You hit his shoulder with a light fist, “I”m gonna eat all of this food myself, and leave none for you.” 

 Jisung’s impish grin dropped instantly at your words, and suddenly, he was diving headfirst into the food once more. As he stuffed his face full of pizza and chicken wings, cheeks puffing up like a cute little chipmunk, you could only chuckle softly and stare back at him in loving adoration. 

 Because no matter what he went through - you were always going to be by his side. 

 And it came in handy that he was a horrible liar, because at least he could never hide anything from you. 

 So matter what, no matter the hurdles that he would face in his life, you would always be right alongside him, helping him overcome them all. And you knew that he’d continually do the same thing for you in return. 

Fin.

taglist: want to be added onto my taglist so that you always get notified when i post a new work? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can simply send me a msg and request to be added that way~

© ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids angst #skz scenarios #skz oneshots #stray kids one shots #skz jisung oneshots #stray kids han one shots #skz han scenarios #skz han angst #skz jisung angst #skz fluff #stray kids fluff oneshot #skz han fluff oneshot #skz han angst oneshot #skz jisung angst scenario #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #skz han #skz #skz jisung #skz han jisung #jisung scenarios #jisung oneshots #jisung imagines #jisung angst

[beastenraged]

More news! I've got two-three chapters left of this arc of "Tell You What I Am." Whoo!

For the curious, here's the arcs and timeline set up:

Tell Me That I’m Real

Oblivion Rising- RE Chain of Memories

Days Under Fire- UN 358/2 Days

Dreaming Dark, Devouring Destiny- DE Kingdom Hearts II

Second Chance Failure- IN Kingdom Hearts II

Tell You What I Am

The Storyteller’s Bargain- EN Dream Drop Distance and Kingdom Hearts Coded

Wilde Jagd- OB ???

The Wilde Jagd Arc will be next and its name is folklore based. If you can figure it, you'll know what events will be next!

If anyone's got any questions on these fics, feel free to launch at me during this time! If there's spoilers to come, I'll let you know.

#announcement #tell me verse #my writing

[suzteel]

miniwrimo debrief

So I mentioned last month that I joined miniwriomo on a whim the day before November started. And while the first week or so was super successful, I did end up missing one day and then two days later I blinked and it was suddenly a week later somehow. Oops. But I guess time just goes missing sometimes, and all I could do is start writing again and keep going. Ultimately, I ended up writing 18 days out of 30, so 60% of my goal in terms of number of writing days.

Not bad for a spur of the moment challenge.

BUT I did end up writing over 3k words, which is the minimum number of words I would have written at 100 words a day for 30 days, meaning I achieved 100% of my word count goal for the month. Whoo! Go me!

I worked on 7 different writing projects during the month. I finished and posted a fic I started three years ago, and also posted a double drabble for Wanksgiving. Of the remaining 5 projects, only 2 were projects I had started before the month, so I added 3 more projects to the WIP list. Oops.

I’m not sure I discovered more self-discipline this month, but I did learn that slow and steady progress still gets things done. And that typing out 100 words quickly on my phone at lunch, or in between tasks, or (most frequently) right before bed can accomplish as much, if not more, as regular writing sessions. I still want to get better at making time to write, but it’s nice to find ways to write that don’t feel like setting myself up to fail and feeling bad about it.

So ultimately, even though I didn’t quite accomplish what I set out to do this month, I am very proud of what I did manage to do. And I definitely think I’m likely to give this another shot next November (if not sooner).

#I was tempted to just continue 100 words a day into December but thankfully realized that was crazy talk #plus I have giffing projects to complete that have been neglected for the writing #I will finished the Tankhun in every episode series this year if it kills me

[rainbowbarnacle]

Ooooh I got tagged! :D

Relation Status: In a LDR with the wonderful @mercurialmalcontent. <3

Favorite Color: ALL OF THEM. But lately I've been wearing lots of purples and oranges and yellows.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweets: chocolate, red bean paste, apple-based pastries, and anything with poppyseeds. Spicy: I like it! Spicy coconut soups and eggs with hot sauce and spicyhot v8 juice and warming extra-gingery chais. Savory: yes pleeease, I am particularly fond of miso soup, lox, peppered beef jerky, and anything with mushrooms in it for savory things.

Three ships:

oh gooood just three?

Karlach and Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3. I'm digging the dynamic of Touch Starved Tiefling and Touched Out Vampire Figure Stuff Out Together. There is something so lovely about someone just flat out, unquestionably ADORING someone who has spent 200 years spouting so much automatic false praise at people that any compliment directed at him sounds like a lie. I don't care if they're friends or lovers or married, all of it is good, just please let these two hang out, they are hilarious and wonderful together.

Roland Deschain and Cuthbert Allgood and Alain Johns from the Dark Tower. Friends, lovers, both, everything rocks. They are traumatized cowboys who grew up in a constantly changing eldritch hellscape together and they can still joke around and they know each other so perfectly and I love them. Could they just all travel to New York so I can watch them lose their minds the first time they eat at a buffet restaurant, thankee-sai.

Ryne and Gaia from FFXIV. These two have been through so much horror and I just want them to be happy together. At first glance it's Hopelessly Cheerful Optimist beaming happy rays at the Snooty Goth Who's Learning To Smile Sometimes, but occasionally you get little scenes where Gaia perks Ryne up like high quality coffee. <3

First ever ship:

I dunno, I didn't really come up with ships on my own for a really long time--I just kinda went with what was there. I remember eventually learning how to do otherwise, I just don't remember who it was.

Last Song:

Last Film: I thiiiink it was One Piece Film: Red? Either way, WHAT A WILD RIDE, I think it might be my favorite One Piece film. A pop diva with creation magic covers up MASSIVE TRAUMA with glittery rainbow everythings, WHOO <3 Also, a banging soundtrack.

Last thing I Googled: The One Piece Film: Red trailer

Currently Reading: NOTHING. :O But that's only because I just finished editing someone's novel and my brain needs a rest.

Currently Watching: Rurouni Kenshin! I'm digging it a lot so far--I can tell the current voice actor admires the voice actor from the original series a lot. <3

Currently Consuming: Nothing yet. I drank all the cold brew coffee and now I have no cold brew coffee. :(

Currently Craving: Coffee. And these chickpea burrito things I found on sale, I should have bought twelve more.

Currently Working On: That Thing I did for Nano, a FFXIV fic and a Baldur's Gate fic

Current Obsession(s): Baldur's Gate 3, FFXIV, One Piece, that book I edited a few days ago (IT'S REALLY GOOD)

Aaaand all done, phew! Thank you for tagging me, that was fun! I tag: anybody else who wants to.

#Youtube

[chaseyesterdays]

Mahonia and papyrus?

mahonia: what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

You know, I see what you mean about these ask games being too subjective. Good lord, how the fuck do I answer this?

Basically what it comes down to for me inspiration-wise is this: I either see something done really right, or really wrong. For example: I went to a production the other night in which some of the actors sang eighties and nineties power ballads in three part harmony. Afterwards, all I wanted to do was sing, because they all blended so well together and I wanted to be a part of that myself. Similarly, I watched some of the less seasoned performers in that show really struggle to find their characters, and all I could think was "Hmm, okay, here's what I would do different and how I would execute that nuance more effectively," and down the mental rabbit hole I went.

Same thing goes for writing too - sometimes I see words woven together so beautifully it creates a visceral reaction in me and I just...desperately want to make something that beautiful or impactful myself. Sometimes I read (or see, thanks to tv and film) something so poorly constructed or just outright bad that I have to try and fix it. I don't even know if this is really answering the question or not, because I don't know if any of this is inspiration so much as it's motivation to create or correct, but that's usually what spurs me into action, so. I guess it works?

(As for what inspires fics... God only knows. Most of those things hit me like a meteor strike in the middle of the most boring fucking banal things you could imagine. If I had a dime for every time a plot bunny caught me in the shower or while I'm working my actual full time job, I...probably wouldn't need the job, to be honest.)

papyrus: if you put your 'on repeat' playlist on shuffle, what's the first song that comes up? what do you like about it/associate it with?

(Under a cut because this is insanely long and also...way more emotional than I intended to be, but I am at the mercy of shuffle here, so.)

I literally just did this and the song it picked is "The View Between Villages (Extended Version)" by Noah Kahan. And that just...fucking wrecks me, to be honest. In the best way, but whoo boy, shuffle is coming for the jugular tonight.

I discovered that song a few days ago (and honestly it's got some verses in it that are very Percy-coded), but when I listened to it for the first time, all I could see is my two best friends' hometown in the mountains. All I could feel is that...bittersweet longing for things you just can't have back. Hiraeth, I think they call it - a homesickness for a home you can never return to, or a home that never existed in the first place. Mine is in those mountains, and I hear it in the most...insane ways in that song.

So, for starters, the first time I visited my closest friend Su in her hometown (six hours away from mine), it was 2014 and all we listened to was the soundtrack for The Fault in Our Stars. M83's song "Wait" was on that soundtrack and I fucking loved it - we listened to it driving at night, when the streetlights smear against the night sky and you can only see by the backlit numbers on the dash, and it was just such an atmospheric song for those summer nights with the windows down and the mountain breeze coming in. I don't know why, but that was one of two or three songs I've come to associate with that place, and I hear them in my head every time I drive back into town.

Cut to a few years later when I'm in the same town, but hanging out with my second best friend. Aly. The one I called "sister" because "friend" never seemed to be enough. We listened to so many of the same songs, and so many memories of the things we did in that exact same place got attached to those songs as a result. They went on my playlists and I would send those playlists to her sometimes - music was such an outlet for us both, and trauma bonding drives people together in some strange, strange ways.

Now, cut to July 2022 when Su and I drive back into town for our sister's funeral. Grief thick in the back of our throats, eyes too glazed over to really see. Some of those same songs are on my sad playlist, because they made me think of her. Made me think of all the places we'd been and things we'd done. Made me miss those things. Made me realize none of us would ever have those things again.

And then fucking Noah Kahan releases a song that's...objectively about his hometown. About the love you have for a place and the desire to just...run from it. Drive away and never look back. Feeling the hold it has on you, the tether that keeps you here, stuck between two places, suspended. "The things that I lost here, the people I knew - they got me surrounded for a mile or two. Left past the graveyard, I'm driving past ghosts; their arms are extended, my eyes start to close. The car's in reverse, I'm gripping the wheel - I'm back between villages, and everything's still." And Jesus Fucking Christ if that isn't everything I feel when I think about Aly's hometown. When I drove back through it for what I knew might be the last time, right past the house she never came home to, past the graveyard where they buried her ashes.

And here's the kicker: it sounds so much like those songs we used to listen to together. There's a huge layered vocal swell that reminds me so much of "Wait." The build from something soft into something huge and loud and impactful is both "Wait" and "All I Want". The vibe and some of the harmonies I add in over the melody line when I sing along make me think of "The Night We Met" in places - the last song I sang for her, the one that autoplayed literally right as I drove by her house for her funeral. And all of that, all of that is mirrored for me in this song.

It makes no sense. It makes perfect sense. And this is way, way more than you asked for, I know. But I've listened to this thing over and over so many times now, and every single time, it just hits me in the face with all of the above.

Will it speak to everyone that way? No, and I would never expect it to. But goddamn if it doesn't hurt just the way I need it to now, driving home alone in my car, windows down and sky night-dark and dashboard lights the only thing to guide my way.

#jesus i'm so sorry i didn't intend that to get...bittersweet? #but I am at the mercy of the prompts and the shuffle so. #cw: grief #ask game #essay of thoughts #forcie rambles #adventures of a panic-stricken word nerd

[katsukikitten]

Me I never write anything anymore.

for fun piece, two random fics, several drabbles, thirsting in DMS in the past three days : bitch whoo the fuuuuck? 🎶

#kitten chats 🖤🐈‍⬛

[corneroffandom]

Weekly Writing Update #92 (April 7th, 2024)

What a week, huh? Getting this done just before night two of Wrestlemania starts, whoo. Then I can just come down because it's been a LOT of wrestling the last three days and my brain is buzzing. I need a quiet night, haha. Anyway, writing's been ok this week, even though I've been too busy to do as much as I'd like. More of a useful update next week I hope. See you all then and hope my fellow wrestling fans enjoy night 2 of Wrestlemania, whatever it may bring. (Seth will ALWAYS be my world champion, either which way tonight goes)

Back to Basics: 414 World Wrestling Digidestined: 397 Encontrar una Manera: 450 Back to Earth: 734 Encontrar una Manera bonus story: 0 New Years 2023: 71 New Years 2024: 0 The Split: 0 Exhaustion: 0 Spiraling: 0 Strangers: 0 Fathers: 0 Julia's Price: 0 Searching: 1987 Sixteen: 0 Renatus: 0 Passenger: 0 Evidence: 0 Sensatus: 0 In total: 4053 Annual Word Count: 93952 New fic plot notes: 1 Team Work chapters booked: 0 Old fics uploaded to AO3: 0

Find me on Ko-fi at https://ko-fi.com/corneroffandom Any questions or comments, please let me know!

[vlindervin7]

Because Adam Parrish’s bisexuality is very important to me and I felt the need to write down the Feelings I was having. This has no plot, just so you know.        

AO3

It’s really you on my mind

He’s fifteen years old and tired. Sitting in front of the trailer he calls home, he lets himself feel it for just a second. Allows himself to acknowledge the heaviness pulling at his limbs, his drooping eyelids getting pulled down by some invisible power; allows himself a moment of anger and exhaustion. Feeling sorry for himself and letting his misery take over his senses isn’t something he necessarily likes to do. He knows his life sucks, there’s no use dwelling on that. He also knows there are people who have it worse and that he will get out of here. One day one day one day. It’s a song that replays itself inside his head when things get rough, when he feels alone and his father tells him he’s worthless, with his fists and words alike, when his mom looks at it all with pursed lips or ignores it altogether. When the trailer park is suffocating and the dust invades his lungs, makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes doubt creeps in and then it’s almost impossible for him to believe it will ever happen; he’ll be stuck here for the rest of his days, become a copy of Robert Parrish because it’s his fate, it’s in his blood and he’ll have a son sitting in the exact same position, singing to himself one day one day one day.

Snapping out of that depressing train of thought, he suddenly remembers the free magazine he picked up at the grocery store earlier. From the rack next to the entry, filled with daily news and picked up by the busy fingers of housewives and old people taking their weekly stroll. He’s passed it numerous times and never felt the need to take one with him, until today. He doesn’t know what came over him, just that he desperately wanted to pretend to do something normal. And why not?

He takes it out now, from under his thin jacket, unfolds it and looks at the picture of some actress he vaguely recognizes posing on the front.

It’s been so long since he read something just for him. He used to go the library when he was younger, used to spend full days there, befriending the old, sweet lady behind the desk, reading everything he could get his hands on. But when he realized there’s a way to escape this, that the world is so much wider than the name double-wide suggest, that maybe there’s a way for him to not only read about magical places and people going on adventures, but actually live those things and see them for himself, the library turned into the last item on his list of things to do. He picked up several jobs and poured all his remaining time and energy into studying and getting A’s; the library was forgotten. At times, when the night is too heavy to sleep and the walls are too thin to not hear what’s playing in the bedroom next to his, he thinks of the old lady with her white hair that gave him pieces of her chocolate sometimes and wonders what happened to her. If she still works there, if maybe at times she wonders about him too after he abruptly stopped coming, if she’s even still alive.

Now he opens his magazine and pictures the one his father reads and notices the stark difference between the two. He rifles through it, not particularly caring about the content or finding it exceptionally captivating, but enjoying himself nonetheless. Skimming through it, he abruptly lets it fall open on some ad, perfume he thinks, featuring a man, a car and the gray sky above. The man is leaning against his expensive, fast car, wearing expensive designer clothes. Adam’s enthralled by how casually powerful the man looks and by the quiet authority he radiates. Like nothing can hurt him, like he’s above pain. At first, it’s just the power that evokes Adam’s wonder, then he pays closer attention to the guy’s face; zooms in on his high cheekbones, the strand of dark hair falling on his forehead, his pronounced jawline. The way his clothes fit him just right, accentuating the right things, the right way and Adam is in awe.

There’s a mixture of several things going through Adam’s head, the most prominent being want. Which he shuts down immediately without realizing why and replaces with one day one day one day. He looks at the car again. Without giving it second thought, he rips the picture from the magazine and folds it carefully, stuffs it into his pocket.

The picture is burned in his memory now and he thinks he’ll use it as motivation, to try to become that person one day. Because that’s what he wants. That’s the want overpowering his thoughts. Being that man, radiating the same power, being able to dress like that, owning a car like that and doing it all as effortlessly as if he’d been born into it.

He takes it out sometimes, from under his mattress. He’s not sure why he feels the need to hide it like that, it’s not like there’s something bad on there. He just doesn’t want his dad to find it and realize that Adam wants to be that man, he tells himself. He doesn’t want his parents to know that that is his goal in life, he tells himself. And he tries not to think of the why’s to much. Why he decided on that picture, why he hides it, why it makes him want.

Years later he’ll realize that maybe it wasn’t just the power the man radiated and the effortless way he looked like money and success and was everything Adam wanted to be but wasn’t. He’ll think that maybe it was a mixture of those things, combined with the fact that he was extremely attracted to the guy, but just didn’t realize it. That the want to be him, could’ve easily also been the want to be with him among other things. He’ll think that there have been so many more instances in his life where he interpreted his own feelings wrong, or simply repressed them and twisted them so that he didn’t have to face the real thing. Subconsciously of course, until Ronan started looking at him and the pieces all fell in their place and he realized something about himself that had been there for a long time, but was never allowed out.

When he gets together with Ronan, he analyzes the feelings he had for Blue and he realizes they were just as real as the one he has for Ronan. Maybe they weren’t as strong, but they were there. And something clicks inside him, because he knows now that Ronan wasn’t the first boy he was ever attracted to, which is what he thought in the beginning, and he knows that he’s still very much into girls too, but that it’s all fine. He’s got time to find himself and figure out what that means for him. Which he does in great detail. Adam Parrish, a man of science, likes to understand things, approaches this objectively, eyes on his goal.

He doesn’t doubt his attraction or love for Ronan because he is absolutely sure that those things are there. He does not doubt his feelings for Ronan once. He just wonders whether he’s the only boy he’s ever liked or if there were others.

When he was younger, he didn’t give his sexuality much thought. He always thought he was straight so there was no real reason to think about it and anyway, living under his parents’ roof, the possibility of being something else than straight, stepping out of line of what his dad thought was right, wasn’t much of an option. He liked Blue, he had a girlfriend before that, when he was fourteen. She gave him his first kiss, but other than that it wasn’t anything exceptional. She was a girl from his school he had to work with one day. She was pretty and she smelled nice. She had a gap between her teeth and he remembers finding that charming. They worked on the chemistry project in the library, she kissed him one day, he liked it, she asked him to be her girlfriend and eventually she broke it off, no doubt expecting dates and time spent together, but Adam simply did not have the money or time to spare. He didn’t like her that much that it really hurt or anything, but it stung a little. Knowing dating just wasn’t for him, yet another thing on his seemingly endless list of one day, something he’d do when he got out of here.

If he was being honest with himself, he was a little disappointed. It’s not like he expected butterflies to fly around and the sun to start shining just for them, but the couple kisses they shared didn’t really do anything to him. That didn’t stop him from wanting more of them, though. Her lips were soft and brought him affection he had missed his whole life. The feeling of her hands on his hips warmed his skin in a way he was not familiar with, so even if real feelings were missing, he also definitely didn’t want her to break up with him .

He figured it was better anyway. He put her out of his head and forget about her quickly enough, only sometimes allowing her to open the doors in his mind and wondering that if he could’ve been able to show her a little more attention, she’d have stayed longer.

Then he met Blue and he really liked her too. Her originality and fire drew him in and did things to his head. It was easier with her somehow because he saw her in the company of Gansey, because she was pretty affectionate herself and wasn’t afraid to say what she thought or let him know what she wanted or didn’t want. She took his hand and it was easy to lay his head in her lap. It was nice and he knew that if he were to kiss her, it’d be different than the kisses he shared with his former girlfriend. He thought maybe he’d feel something else than simply that’s nice.

It was good. While it lasted.

Because of course it didn’t last. He was Adam Parrish, why would he be able to love someone the right way? Maybe love was a big word, but why would he be able to – to be enough? Because that was exactly what it was. He was not enough.

The words it’s not going to be you echoed through his mind for days on end and the fear that he would end up exactly like his father encased him, held him captive. When those words came out of her mouth, he knew. He just knew that if it wasn’t him, it’d be Gansey. Because of course. Of fucking course.

When he gets together with Ronan, everything is great and his anger doesn’t matter because Ronan has his own anger inside to match Adam’s. They get together and every touch, every word shared between them leaves a trace in his skin, strikes a match until his insides are burning with want and need and love. Finally he can feed his hunger. Ronan doesn’t mind if Adam kisses him fiercely, barely giving him space to breathe, all but attacks his mouth with his own. He doesn’t mind Adam taking of his shirt and tracing the warm skin, following the trail of his tattoo with his mouth. Doesn’t mind the hickies on his neck, the scratches on his back.

The physical aspects of the relationship is explosive and wonderful. But that’s not all. Ronan is the first person to ever be truly gentle with him, the first person that looks at him as if he deserves everything.

He makes Adam laugh harder than anything ever has, sometimes so much he literally cannot breathe, until he has tears in his eyes. Ronan knows when to crack a joke, make fun of Gansey, draw out a grin with force if he has to after a shitty day at work. But also knows when to leave it alone and simply let Adam lay his head on his lap on the couch and gently run his fingers through his hair when he’s feeling down. Because the truth is, while Adam Parrish has always thought of himself as unknowable, somehow Ronan Lynch has managed to know him.

He knows him. He understands him. Like no one ever has. And Adam realizes that, even if he didn’t notice before, he had always understood Ronan the same way. Back when he couldn’t stand being in the same room with him for more than five minutes before one of them made a biting remark. Even then, they’d understood each other on some level.

So, no. If there is one thing in the world he is absolutely sure of, it’s his love for Ronan. While figuring out his sexuality is definitely confusing, that is not. It’s the surest and realist thing in his life at the moment.

Once, when Adam was about ten, he had a friend. Called Jason. The boy had curly black hair, dark skin and piercing brown eyes that glittered in the sun and made Adam feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was the first real friend he’d ever had, or as real as fleeting friendship at that age can be anyway and Adam cared for him deeply. When Jason smiled, he had a dimple and for some reason having it directed at him, filled Adam with an indescribable pride. There was something about him that made Adam want to be around him as much as possible and never let go. Seen as Jason was his first friend, he didn’t think much of it and figured that’s just what friendship was.

The whole thing was over pretty quickly, Jason moved away. Adam is pretty sure he never even knew his last name.

When he thinks back to that now, he wonders if it wasn’t something other than just friendship. And then he thinks back to the first time Gansey had laid his charming eyes on him and shown Adam his electric smile and the feeling that had evoked inside him and wow. That’s a whole other realization.

Now lying on his small mattress above the church that’s his home, next to the boy he thinks of when he thinks of home, he wonders how he never noticed what really, was there all along. He thinks it’s probably a mixture of wanting to survive and homophobic bullshit shoved in his head by the people that raised him.

Now, lying on his small mattress above the church that’s his home, next to the boy he thinks of when he thinks of home, he lets himself feel and think and understand something about himself.

‘Why the fuck are you thinking this hard? It’s two in the morning’, Ronan mumbles into the crook of his shoulder, sleep already pulling at his senses, one hand wrapped around Adam’s waist.

‘I’m not.’ It’s a lie, automatically leaving his mouth. Adam spends his life thinking too hard, over analyzing every little thing. He’s never had to share the inner workings of his mind with anyone.

‘Yes, you are. You’ve got that little crunch between your eyebrows. That means you’re thinking too hard.’ But this is Ronan and, again, Adam is taken aback by how good Ronan knows him. The inner workings of his mind may be a mystery to most people, but Ronan has never been like most people.

He doesn’t say anything for a little while, lets the silence fill the room. Ronan kisses his shoulder and Adam can feel his eyelashes fluttering against his skin. Soft as a confession whispered in the dead of the night.

‘I’m bisexual’, he says then, finally, shattering the quiet.

And it’s out there. The nervous flutter in his stomach has nothing to do with fear or dread. He feels most comfortable around Ronan and this is nothing new really. It’s just that it’s the first time he’s ever said those words aloud, the first time he knows with a certainty they’re real. And that sensation is new to him, it flutters in his stomach, but a good kind of fluttering. One that’s as pleasant as the spring sun warming his skin after winter has gone to sleep.

Ronan makes a noise that could be interpreted in many different ways, but the way he pulls Adam closer to him and nuzzles his nose to his temple and drops a kiss on his ear, indicates it’s most likely one of encouragement and support. The gesture fills Adam’s body with warmth and his heart beats with the incredible love he has for this boy.

‘What brought this on?’

‘I don’t know. Just thinking back on my life. I have this ad in my car, for perfume or something. And I always convinced myself I kept it because one day I wanted to be the guy. But now I think I kept it because I was ridiculously attracted to him even though I didn’t realize it.’

Ronan lets out a small laugh. ‘Well, I’m fucking gay. I think I always sort of knew though.’

Adam wonders if Ronan has ever admitted to that before and he’s pretty sure he never has. He simply got together with Adam and that was enough for them. But here, in the safety and comfort of this room and each other, it’s okay.

He thinks of how Ronan used to hate himself so much and that, some of it at least, was tied to his sexuality. How he used to be so angry and scared and hidden from everyone. How self acceptance was a long and painful process for him. He thinks of how proud he is of Ronan, of how strong he is and of how far he’s come. To say those words without shame above the church he visits every Sunday. The church where he belongs but for a long time felt like an intruder, like he was wrong.

Ronan shouldn’t have to give up parts of himself because others won’t accept him. He shouldn’t have to hide. He’s gay, but he also believe in god with an intensity that Adam saw reflected in his eyes the few times he has accompanied him to church.

Adam himself is not religious, but he respects it and can see the beauty of it in certain things. But more importantly, he’s aware of how deeply rooted it is in Ronan’s life and how it’s a part of him. Adam loves all parts of Ronan, wants him to be able to love all parts of himself too. He’s glad Ronan feels comfortable enough saying those words above his church.

‘I’m glad you finally figured it out. ‘M proud of you,’ Ronan mumbles then, almost asleep, saying things he maybe wouldn’t have said wide awake, but that Adam would’ve gotten anyway.

Adam plants a kiss on the top of his head and closes his head. ‘I’m proud of you too.’

And that’s how they fall asleep, entwined like vines and trusting someone, finally, to accept them for who they are.

They’re growing still. And discovering themselves, but now that they’re safe and relatively happy, most of the time, it’s a process Adam actually is kind of looking forward to. Maybe he doesn’t have to be unknowable. Maybe he can just be Adam Parrish, loved by his friends and boyfriend, safe, attending Harvard in the fall, bisexual, in love and proud. Of who he is.

Proud of being Adam Parrish. He decides he rather likes that thought.

Thanks for reading! Title from Chanel by Frank Ocean, because that song is almost as Bi™ as Adam Parrish is 

#pynch #adam parrish #ronan lynch #hella bi adam is one of my favorite adam parrishes #i love this boy so much can you belive #i wrote this on his birthday just so you know #you can pretend it's still the 3rd of july #i'm a little nervous about posting this because #idk #trc #my writing #two fics in three day whoo #they were both written a while ago i just didn't have the time and energy to edit #also I had no computer when I was visiting my family for more than a week #which was when I wrote this so #someone shUT ME UP

[calpalirwin]

Permanent Vacation

Summary: Calum falls for a musician.

A/N: I just really wanted an excuse to use Arrows in Action newest releases in a fic. (They’re bangers. You should go give ‘em a listen.)

Word Count: 2.8k

And away, and away we go!

__

The sun was hot as it beat down on my neck, the line for the beerstand long, and the noises of people chatting excitedly were loud in my ears. But I didn’t care in the slightest. After the isolating shitshow that was quarantine, I was more than happy to be out at a festival with, wait for it, live fuckin’ music. The only way I could be happier was if my band was in the lineup, but this was still a pretty close second. To be surrounded by musicians and people who loved music was a breath of fresh air after so long. A breath of very hot fresh air. But still.

Behind me I heard the girlish giggling and whispers of my name, which drew the attention of the group in front of me: three guys, and a girl around my own age, two of the guys a good shoulder and head taller than the other man and girl. The shortest of the guys whispered, “Could you imagine if we got noticed like that?”

The tall brunette’s eyes went wide as he pulled a face and shook his head. “No, thanks. I think I’d cry.”

The other tall one with purple hair laughed loudly, “Aw, c’mon, that would be rad! His band’s not even in the lineup and he still gets recognized. Could you imagine?”

“He has a name, and can hear you, J,” the girl hissed with a playful eye roll. Then, she flashed me a smile before calling out in a loud voice, “Hey, man! Good to see ya! How ya been?” to me, before taking a step forward and stretching up to wrap her arm around my shoulders like we were old friends. “Just go with it,” she added under her breath. “Nobody’ll bug you for pictures and autographs if you’re with a bigger group.”

“Thanks,” I laughed at her rescue attempt. “But it’s fine if they do. I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, but they can at least let you buy a fuckin’ beer first.”

“Well, thanks again,” I said, not sure of what else to say, or do so I let her pull me up with her friends who were all staring at her with I’m sure the same look of soft shock I had on my own face.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” She let go of me as she started introducing her friends to me. “And this is Jesse.”

“Hello,” the tall one with purple hair smiled warmly.

“That’s Matt,” she nudged the other tall one.

“Hey.”

“And this is Vic,” she finished, looking at the shortest man who waved.

“Nice to meet you guys. I’m Calum,” I said, then realized how stupid that was. “But, you already knew that, huh?”

Y/N grinned, holding her thumb and index finger close together. “Just a smidge. But it’s cool. So, any bands you’re particularly excited to see?”

“The Maine and All Time Low mostly. I’m a huge fan of The Maine, and All Time Low are friends of mine.”

“Both are great bands. And the All Time Low guys are good friends to have, for sure.”

“Oh, you know them?”

“Yeah, we worked with them a few times.”

“Worked with? Fellow musicians, huh?”

She laughed. “We’re up and comers, yeah.”

“Your cool aunt’s favorite band,” Jesse grinned at me.

Y/N laughed more at the confused look that crossed my face. “That’s one of his favorite ways to refer to us. Like we’re the band you find out from word of mouth from the cool relative that’s always discovering new music.”

“Ah,” I said, nodding in understanding. “Been there. Are you guys in the lineup?”

“Yup!” she chirped happily as we got to the front of the line. “5 beers, please,” she told the person working the counter.

“Oh, you don’t have to,” I tried to decline, reaching quickly for my wallet.

“Relax, it’s just a beer,” she told me, passing me one of the cups being placed on the counter. 

“Well, thanks,” I said, raising the cup and taking a sip. “I’ll getcha guys next time.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” she grinned around the rim of her own cup. “Enjoy your beer, Cal. See ya around.”

~~~

I took the last swallow from my beer, cursing myself for not having stopped her to get the name of her band, or at the very least her last name. But before I had a chance to get the words out, I’d been bombarded with requests from fans for pictures, engaging in small conversations with them, and by the time I was done, Y/N was long gone.

So I resigned myself to walking around the festival grounds, my head reeling. It wasn’t often a woman pretended to be my friend to rescue me from the onslaught of fans. In fact, I couldn’t recall one time that's ever happened. I also wasn’t used to being bought drinks, even if I was still fully intending to return the favor. Although that would require me to find her first. But something told me that wouldn’t be too difficult.

I was grateful I’d come on my own, and not with Ashton who would have no doubt teased me about how hooked I was on the girl. The cynic with a crush? Whatever were the odds? And was it even technically a crush when I’d only interacted with her for maybe five minutes? Okay, maybe Ashton being around wouldn’t be the worst thing if he could help me make sense of the jumble of thoughts in my head. The way that man could bounce from crush to crush almost seamlessly was enough to give me a case of whiplash. 

I sighed as I tossed my cup in the trash. Whether or not it was a crush was still to be determined. All I knew was that I liked her energy, and wanted to see her again. And… that was a crush, wasn’t it? God. Fuckin’. Damn it.

A guitar chord rang out loudly, and there was a mad dash of people running towards the stage. Slowly I pushed my way through the crowd of people towards the front, grinning when I noticed it was her on stage, and grinning even more when I noticed the instrument in her hand. A bassist? Fuck, I was definitely in trouble now.

The shortest of the men, Vic, I recalled, started singing, with the other three providing backup harmony on the chorus. Until they got to the bridge that was all Y/N, her voice ringing out “Tomorrow’s a nightmare, I’m dreaming today. And my head is haunted, the past just can’t stay. The devil you know, yeah he comes and he goes. I’m selfish, and vapid, I hide in my prose!” before they launched into the final chorus.

“What up, Anaheim?!” Vic yelled into his mic to a scream of cheers and applause. “We’re Arrows in Action, and that was our newest single, Only Be Mine. I’m Vic. We got Matt over here on guitar. Jesse’s on the drums. And Y/N’s over there on bass. We got a few more songs for you all. And if you’re an awesome crowd, we might have a special treat for ya at the end of our set. Sound good?”

We answered him in whoops of cheers and loud applause, causing them all to grin as they launched into their next song.

They played seamlessly through about three more songs, enjoying the feeling of playing live in front of people again, before Y/N whooped into her own mic. “Whoo! It’s hot! Anyone else hot? Y’all staying hydrated out there?” she asked us, before flickering her gaze across the stage at Matt who was wiping his forehead. “You good, Matt?”

“Dude, it’s like a million degrees up here,” he commented, before taking a huge swig from a water bottle.

Y/N laughed. “Right. Y’all gotta understand. Matt’s from the cold states. Then there’s Vic and I who are California natives, technically, right Vic?”

“Yeah, I was born here. But I didn’t live here as long as you did.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. So Vic and I are used to the heat. Matt, not so much. And Jesse? How you doing back there, J?”

“Me?” the drummer pointed at himself in confusion “Oh, I’m great!”

“Great enough to give this crowd a real surprise?” she asked, her voice laced with playful trouble, as she looked at all her bandmates. “C’mon, boys what do ya say? Wanna give this crowd something special before we go?”

Again, we all cheered and applauded as encouragement for whatever surprise they had in mind. “Alright!” Vic laughed. “Alright, you wanna go ahead and introduce it then?”

She smiled wide as she turned towards us. “Alright, everybody! We’re Arrows in Action. We’ve had a great time with y’all! So, as a thank you, we’re gonna play a new song that we haven’t released yet. Is that cool with you?” She laughed as she awaited the response of screaming, whistles, and applause. “Alright. This is called Permanent Vacation, which will be available on all listening platforms this Friday. Let’s go!”

Matt started playing a series of chords that sounded incredibly familiar, while the other three clapped to the beat. But right before the lyrics were supposed to come in, Vic started talking into his mic. “Wait, wait, wait!” he laughed. “I don’t know the lyrics to this!”

“So it’s just like every other song,” Y/N teased him with her own laugh.

“Nah, I think it’s cuz that one’s not ours.”

“Be rad if it was though,” she said, and I swear she shot me a wink. “Alright, alright. So, that one’s not ours. But this one definitely is. And it’s definitely called Permanent Vacation. And it’s out Friday.”

A new guitar and drum beat started up and Vic immediately started singing, again with the rest of the band providing back up vocals until the bridge where it was all Y/N. A soft build before a wild yell that would have torn my own vocal chords to shreds.

“I’m locked and loaded, fire away! Permanent vacation from my brain. Extend my stay another day. Far from home, not alone,” they all finished with a flurry of chords. “Thank you!” Vic croaked into the mic. “Thank you guys so much! We’re Arrows in Action, enjoy the rest of your night!”

With tired but happy smiles, they all bowed before exiting the stage. I moved to follow, but thought better of it, going to hit the drink stand first where I bought 5 beers and 4 waters. A small challenge, made slightly easier by the person working the stand putting the water bottles in a grocery bag for me. With that hanging off my arm, I held 2 beers in each hand, and my own in my teeth.

“Cal!” she laughed, her face flushed when I found them lounging in the grass. “You didn’t have to do that,” she told me as she rose to her feet to help me distribute the beers.

“I said I’d get the next round,” I offered up simply, setting down the bag and taking a seat with them all. “I brought you guys water, too.”

“You really didn’t have to do that,” she laughed, tossing the bottles out anyway, and sitting back down, this time next to me. 

“Shut up, Y/N, let the man do what he wants,” Jesse said, downing a water bottle in 2 gulps before turning his attention to his beer. “You’re rad. Thank you.”

“For real, man. This was really cool of you,” Vic said.

“Yeah, huge thanks,” Matt nodded.

“What they said, I guess,” Y/N laughed again, following Jesse’s lead of downing her water bottle before going for her beer. “Fuck,” she sighed. “That’s good. Thank you, really.”

“Happy to do it,” I answered. “That set was amazing, by the way. And that joke at the end was pretty clever. How long were you planning that?”

She giggled. “Uh, well Jesse and I are much more the 5sos fans than Matt and Vic are. But we’re all familiar with your music. And when we were writing the song, and settled on the title, I suggested that it would be funny to start playing your version if we ever got the chance to play it live. Which meant bugging Matt to learn the guitar parts.”

“So you’re the troublemaker of the band?” I guessed.

She shrugged, and hid behind the rim of her cup. “I mean… Depends on the day.”

We continued to lay in the grass, making small talk as we all finished our beers, before Jesse cleared his throat. “Uh… Matt, Vic. You guys wanna come with me to get a good spot for the rest of the acts?” he asked, the suggestion in his tone heavy.

Matt and Vic shared a look, before nodding. “Yeah, yeah of course,” they said, all three of them getting up.

“You assholes are just gonna leave me?” Y/N asked, looking up at them.

“Just come find us when you’re ready,” they winked. “Thanks again for the beers, Cal.”

“Assholes,” she muttered again as they all made themselves scarce. “Sorry about them.”

I laughed, waving it off. “Nah, it’s cool. And kinda nice, maybe?”

“Oh?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Uh…” her face flushed. “I mean…” she started to stammer. “Yeah. Yeah.”

I gave a half chuckle, scratching at the back of my neck. “Look, it’s fine if you’re not… I mean, I figure you probably are if they did that for you, cuz they have no reason to do it for my sake. I mean, they’re your friends and bandmates, not mine. But I know a wing man set up when I see it. But if it’s more of a meddling wing man set up, like that’s fine,” I spilled out, before realizing I was rambling.

“No!” she rushed. “Oh, no, that’s not what I meant at all!” She covered her face in her hands, groaning “Oh, this is so embarrassing…” Her hands moved to push through her hair as she took a long breath to steady herself. “Of course I like you, Cal. Like before I even met you. One of those embarrassing fangirl crush type of deals. And I mean, I’m a bassist in a punk band, so you’re also someone I idolize and take inspiration from.” Slowly her gaze lifted from her lap to lock onto mine. “And then I met you today. And  you’re everything I thought you’d be. Thoughtful. Generous. A bit shy, and quiet at times. Nice. And it makes the crush that much stronger, and harder to deal with. Cuz now it’s real. And I feel like I know you. And it’s just… Ugh, it spirals from there, ya know?”

“A good spiral, or a bad spiral?”

“Bit of both? Like the insecurities in me say that you’re an A-list celebrity, while I’m more of like… not an A-lister. My band’s not on the same level yours is. I mean, we play bars and small day festivals. You sell out stadiums and have world tours. There’s a clear discrepancy. But then, another part of me doesn’t give a shit about that. It sees how we’re like-minded. It sees all the ways we click, and all the ways we could work. And that’s where the cocky part comes in, where it sees the like-mindedness and the reasons we could work, and calls you an idiot if you can’t see it too. That, uh, screwed up defense mechanism of it being your loss, ya know?”

“Mhm.”

She sighed. “Sorry. I said a lot. Point is, I do like you. And, that’s that.”

“So the ball’s in my court?”

“Only if you want it to be. And if you don’t, then no. There’s no ball. No court. Just two people who have a few things in common.”

“You wanna hear what I think?”

“Go for it.”

“I think your friends left us for 2 reasons. 1 being that they’re loyal to you, and know how you feel about me. 2 being that they’re also guys. Which gives them a pretty good insight for how I’m feeling too.”

“Uh-huh…” she nodded slowly. “And how you’re feeling is…?”

I could have said the words. But I settled for leaning in, brushing my lips softly against hers for the sweetest of moments, listening to the way her next breath got stuck in her throat. I pulled away, smiling softly at her and shrugging my shoulders.

She traced her lips with her thumb, bewilderment written on her face. “Okay, you really didn’t have to do that.”

“Relax,” I chuckled, stealing her words from earlier. “It’s just a kiss.”

“Well, thanks. I’ll, uh, getcha next time.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

__

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @1weekago @centerlino @binxiboo​

#permanent vacation #calum hood #calum hood fic #calum hood x reader #musician!reader #5sos #calpal irwin

[pamgkrthwrites]

Flame of Healing | EraserMic x Reader | Chapter 9 - Deathly Purple Flame

Masterlist | AO3

Warnings: Mentions of grave robbings

Word Count: 2003

Taglist: @stargazingaloneatnight @rinzyx05 @uselesssapphickitten 

AN: WHEE WHOO IMMA BACK. SO sorry this took SO long to update. I when I was first writing this chapter I was about to hit a mental health issue that lasted for a few months. I had taken medication which helped the issue but also prevented me from writing as in depth. I’ve had breaks of taking the medication and it was either had a bad affect or only drawing art boost but I would have to take the medication again. With this break I’ve had a need to write and thought to start a new fic but only thought it was right I finished this fic before going to that one. I hope you enjoy.

Hizashi had been taking you to work every morning for the past couple of weeks now, and every day when you got home from work you and Shouta would call each other and just have a simple phone call that could last hours. 

Your heart would bloom like a flower in spring whenever you saw, talked or thought about either of them. Emi Fukukado picked up on your lighter moods and would jokingly compliment you for looking ‘lively’.

It may have only been a couple of weeks but the three of you were making progress on the relationship. You felt comfortable around the two and hadn’t gone off a Wanting Souls meeting since.

Which is why it wasn’t that big of a surprise that Chase Saito was at your door checking up on you.

“Are you sure you are okay with whatever this is?” He asked as he followed you to your kitchen.

“Yes Saito, I am fine.” You sighed. “Just that guy was one of my soulmates and so he-”

“They aren’t giving you trouble are they or forcing you into this right?” He asked, concerned. “I know some soulmates are getting a bit feisty about knowing their soulmate are or were part of Wanting Souls. I just want to make sure you are okay.”

You leaned back onto your kitchen counter and thought it over.

“They haven’t expressed how they feel about me being an ex-member.” You confessed. “They seem more than happy to be a part of my life than anything else.”

Saito blinked, thinking over your words.

“I see what you mean. I’m guessing from your wording that you don’t see yourself coming back?”

“I don’t see myself going back as of right now.” You answered him truthfully. “I know it’s a bit early but I am happy with them. On one hand, I do regret that I didn’t start it earlier when I had the chance. However, on the other hand, I don’t regret it because I got the chance to see what I want for myself and by myself and was not influenced by a controlling Soulmate.”

Saito smiled. “I’m happy for you, L/N, really. I hope you have found the happiness you were searching for.”

---

You were kinda upset that Hizashi couldn’t drive you to work today, but you knew from what Hizashi and Shota were allowed to tell you that they had an important mission this week and all their attention had to be on that.

Apparently, they had been pushing it off to spend time with you. You had mixed feelings regarding that. You were happy they wanted to spend time with you but you were felt worried over them spending more time with you than their work.

You took a sharp turn, bumping into someone.

“Oof!”

You took a few steps back and rubbing her head. You looked up at the person you bumped into, and all you saw was a purple flame with two golden eye wearing a suit.

“Sorry about that sir.” You say as you look up at him.

You briefly look down and see a boy, roughly the age of 10, glaring up at you as he stands semi-side-semi-behind the man. He had messy light blue hair and had some sort of skin condition on his face.

“It’s alright.” He said bluntly.

You walked past him, trying to make your way to work.

“You seem like you know that person, Kurogiri.” The child said.

The man of purple flame watched you walk away. “I do remember her, but I feel as if I know her from somewhere.”

The child scoffed. “Maybe she is your soulmate or something.”

“...I do not think I have a soulmate, Shigaraki.”

“Hmmm. I don’t have one either. Anyway, about that place I wanted to go-”

---

“We had requested the police to monitor online forms, and nothing has come up about of anyone talking about robbing graves have been found. We have found only 10 graves were robbed within a span of a month. Even though we believe the graves were robbed by the same person, the robbers have not continued since. It has been now for 8 months, and we have not been able to find anyone close to the people, online, or people who we know who were near the graves at the time to have bones hidden in their homes.” Shota stated, reading from a list.

“So you are saying the case is unsolved, Eraserhead?” A member of the commission asked.

“What about the families of the people whose graves were robbed? Will there be any justice for them?” Another asked.

“Not unless someone comes forth, there is another grave robbery or something is sated online.” Shota answered.

The Hero Commission was silent before sending Shota with a disappointing area in the air. As Souita stepped out, he was met with Hizashi.

“So, how are you?” Hizashi asked. 

“It felt like I was drowning.” Shota groaned. “I want to go nap but I still have work.”

“What if we went on patrol near Y/N’s work?” Hizashi suggested.

Shota mentally stopped upon hearing your name. He felt guilty that they hadn’t told you about what happened to Oboro’s corpse, and feeling even worse about how he hadn’t found out who had taken it.

But, he really wanted to hear your voice again.

Just hearing your voice every day on the phone washed over him, calming him down from a stressful day. Hearing Hizashi suggesting going around your place felt like a good idea, but upon thinking about it, it probably wasn’t a good idea.

“That would make us look like we are creeps, Hizashi.” Shouta answered.

Hizashi let out a whine and hanged his head a little. He really wished he got to see you this morning. He really enjoyed being around you almost every day these past weeks. He got to learn more about you, something he was denied for a long time.

He was so grateful you finally let them into your lives. Even though he wished you could just jump into the relationship part, he knew humans didn’t work like that.

“Maybe we should invite her over this weekend though.” Shouta mumbled.

Hizashi snapped his head to his partner, soon with a giant smile on his face. “Do you mean a date Shouta?!”

Upon hearing his partner’s reaction, Shouta regretted asking out loud. Hizashi was always the positive one in their relationship. He didn’t understand how given everything they’ve dealt with.

“We shouldn’t call it a date so we don’t scare her off.” Shouta noted.

Hizashi thought for a moment then nodded his head. “Yeah, we want her to enter our lives as easily as possible! Good idea Shouta!”

Hizashi then talked Shouta’s ear off about what they should do for this totally-not-date-date by actives to food and even how they should ask you. All Shouta could think about though was if you were going to say yes or not.

---

“Y/N!” Fukukado yelled out to you before running into you and giving you a big hug.

You turned to look at her with a surprised look. You were used to Fukukado giving you hugs and what not but not in this manner and not so publicly. What’s more strange was how she treated you the entire day. She acted as if she was on eggshells the whole day.

“Sorry sorry.” She smiled when you unattached herself from you upon seeing your discomfort. “I was going to ask if you would like a ride home?”

You picked up on her careful wording and how she spoke softly to you.

You thought it over for a second. You wouldn’t be home by the time Shouta usually calls because Hizashi can’t give you a ride home. Though that’s even assuming Shouta can call you today.

“Sure,” you answered her. “I don’t want to deal with creeps on the train.

Fukukado nodded her head and lead you to her car.

In reality, Fukukado was extremely worried. You hadn’t been dropped off by Yamada, and so given your previous thoughts on soulmates she thought you three might have had a falling out or you dumped them.

She could see how much they were impacting on your life in a positive way already, and she didn’t want you to throw that all away either because of a fight or fear or maybe a fight mixed in with fear.

Fukukado understood she could just be overreacting to this situation here so she decided to ask you if you wanted a ride home. If no because Yamada was picking you up then yeah she was overreacting and he just had something on. Though, if no because you were going to catch the train it could mean you had a breakup and you were taking it badly, and if that was the case they were going to hunt Aizawa down and give him a piece of her mind. If yes, could be you broken up and maybe didn’t want to be left alone, or could be Yamada had something on and you just agreed because Fukukado was nice.

She waited till she was closer to your home to ask, in case it was a breakup and you had a negative reaction and wanted to leave the car you could still get there in less than 10 minutes. 

“So, Y/n,” Fukukado asked, facing forwards but she quickly side-eyed you to make sure you were doing okay. “How are you doing with the boys? Everything going well?”

You were looking down at your phone texting Hizashi as she asked this. He seemed to be in a good mood today even though he expressed in his texts to you he missed you this morning. It warmed your heart that he was thinking of you, even if that was a bit cringy.

“We are going well.” You answered. “We are taking things slowly as of right now. More trying to warm me up before inviting me into the relationship if that makes any form of sense.”

Fukukado let out a big breath, breaking you away from your screen.

“Why, is something wrong?” You asked, noticing her reactions to your answer.

“Girl.” Fukukado laughed out. “You made me worry you had broken up with them.”

As she let out some laughs from relief you three were fine, you looked at her with utter confusion. 

“What gave you that impression?!” You asked loudly, only making her laugh more.

“You arrived to work by yourself, not being dropped off by Yamada.” Fukukado noted, side-eyeing you with a smirk. “I thought it could be you guys broke up either from a fight or your fears took control of yourself again. Then when I saw you on your way out, I feared Yamada wasn’t picking you up because of said fight or side breakup from fears.”

You blinked, thinking over what she just said. What she was saying wasn’t out of character for you. You wouldn’t be surprised if you broke up with them because of the fear they couldn’t fully accept you into the relationship even if that broke you in the process. 

You looked up at your friend. It never really clicked in for you that she paid attention to you this much, or that she cared for you in such a way.

You smiled, almost laughing her reaction. “Thanks for your concern, Emi. I promise you that we are fine. As of right now.”

Fukukado side-eyed you and slapped your thigh. “Don’t joke about that oh my Kunitsukami!”

You couldn’t help burst into laughter at her reaction. You weren’t much of a jokester compared to Fukukado, but you were glad at the reaction.

“I swear you are going to kill me.” She smiled hearing your laugh. “I have no idea how Aizawa is going to deal with you. He HATES my jokes!”

You gasped in a joking manner. “Your jokes at him are you just flirting with him!”

“Pfft, potato tomato.”

#flame of healing #shouta aizawa x reader #hizashi yamada x reader #aizawa x reader #shota aizawa x reader #yamada x reader #eraserhead x reader #present mic x reader #erasermic x reader #polyamorous #poly relasionship #poly soulmates #soulmates #soulmate au

[not-close-to-straight]

Hiiiii!!!!

I absolutely loved Chapter 2 of Sure Shot!!!

Bucky preparing for a picnic and going that extra mile and just wanting to have that sunshine smile? Absolutely perfect 🥺🥺🥺

And then them talking and slowly getting closer to eachother? But also Tony's threat of the gun? Amazing!

Bucky wanting to know everything about Tony and Tony sharing it? Both the wish and himself? Phenomenal!

And then the passion afterwards? The sheer love??? Incredible! I absolutely loved it 😍😍😍

Bucky listening and *supporting* Tony? Beyond words!

Honestly I am amazed and in love*swoons* I love the nick name "little sure shot" and the "you will lead, I will follow "

Honestly I need it above my bed so I can just look at it every day 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️

P.s Steve's looks as Buffalo Bill is hilarious a d I can just see it 😂😂😂😂

Whoo boy I am BEHIND on messages. I haven't done much for the last week and a half besides work and bake and drink to forget how much working and baking I was doing but I'm working from home every day this week so I am back on my computer and ready to create some FIC.

Okay. Chapter two was so sweet, right? I am very much a sucker for Winteriron's first time together in any verse but especially in Omegaverse and I literally loved all of it. And the MOST I loved was writing them sort of helplessly drawn into each other while they talked. Bucky's whole thing about letting Tony take the lead and being more than willing to follow his cues was great but then the way they couldn't resist inching closer and closer UGH my heart.

And oh my god STEVE. I have the best scene planned out for Chapter Three where Bucky introduces Tony to Steve and it's so funny. I love smol!Steve as an absolute shithead and Tony just stuns him speechless.

Also I added in Thor to our line up of performers solely so I can write this one scene in ft. the baby buffalo because it made me laugh lolol I should have a new chapter up by tomorrow! Stay tuned!

[squiggledrop]

Reforget - Spencer x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Both Reader and Spencer have feelings for each other. Reader kisses Spencer, but he runs away and ignores her. - Song fic to Reforget by Lauv

Word Count: 3k

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Angst, Fluff (NSFW, 18+)

Warnings: Swearing, Sexual implications, Crying, Angst, Fluff,

Didn't wanna be a ghost

But you pushed me over and over

Never thought I'd have a vice

Other than you, over and over

It had been three weeks since you and Spencer first kissed, and two weeks and six days since you both decided you were better as friends. Well, since Spencer had decided for the both of you. When it happened, the two of you were walking out of the BAU together, ready to head home. You had had a crush on Spencer since your first day a couple of months ago, and the two of you quickly became good friends. Unbeknownst to you, Spencer also had a crush on you, but was much too insecure to ever act on it. As you made your way to your car, you grabbed Spencer’s arm as he was about to turn and say goodnight. You didn’t know where this spur of confidence came from, but you were running with it. You gave him a peck on the lips, which caused his face to turn into a tomato. 

“I’m so sorry”, you blurted out in shock, “I don’t know what I was-”. You were cut off by Spencer cupping your cheeks and placing his mouth back on yours. For the first time in Spencer’s life, his brain couldn’t keep up, and he was on you before he could even process what was happening. The kiss was fueled by passion and the hidden feelings between you both were almost palpable. When you pulled apart you stared into each other’s eyes, full of lust and desire, however, as Spencer finally realized what had just happened, his eyes grew wider and a film of terror masked his face. 

“Uh, night”, he stated blankly before darting off. You tried to call out to him, but it was no use as you couldn’t seem to form any words. You stood there in shock. Every emotion coursed through your body. You were terrified because you just kissed Spencer Reid. You were elated because Spencer Reid kissed you back! But, you were crushed because Spencer Reid just kissed you and ran off like it was the biggest mistake of his life.

Left you in the sky with the fire below

Thought I had it right, but I'm still

Lost in the light

As you drove home you replayed the events of the night over, and over again in your head, trying to make sense of what just happened. He kissed you back. That had to mean something. 

Spencer rode the subway in silence, just staring out the window, reminiscing how your lips felt on his. He was beating himself up for running away like that, but he couldn’t handle the thought of you rejecting him. When you kissed him his mind went blank and when you pulled away he put his lips right back where they belong. The only problem was, as he was kissing you, your words finally registered in his head: I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. He knew kissing you back was a mistake and he couldn’t bear look you in the eye after you had apologized for kissing him. 

When you got home, you looked at the screen of your phone through tear-filled eyes. You made out Spencer’s blurry contact in your texts.

To Spencer: Hey, can we talk about earlier?

Spencer heard his phone buzz and blinked back the tears welling in his eyes. It was a text from you asking to talk. Great, he thought to himself, you probably wanted to apologize again because kissing him was just that horrible. Spencer opted to save himself anymore hurt and ignored your text. He threw his phone on the couch and went to bed.

To Spencer: Can you at least let me know you got home okay?

To Spencer: Spence, please?

The tears streaming down your face became too much, so you decided to just leave him be. Fine, if he wants to be a jerk who just kisses you and runs away then so be it. You left the ball in his court, so it was his move. You had no energy to do anything else.

The only problem was, Spencer was never good at sports, or confrontation for that matter. This led to the two of you not speaking the following morning, or the following two weeks and six days. The team knew something had happened because normally you two were inseparable, but now they were lucky if you could even stay in the same room for more than 30 seconds. You avoided each other, not wanting to be faced with the devastating truth. You came to the conclusion that Spencer’s lack of response was his response. He clearly wanted nothing to do with you. Spencer on the other hand felt so guilty about ignoring you, but he knew he would break down if you told him kissing him was a mistake, and for a man who relied on facts and statistics, he wasn’t willing to face the truth.

And I don't know what night it is

You're somewhere else, I'm drinking not to guess

It had been three weeks of avoiding each other and the team knew that they had to do something.

“Hey! Why don’t we all go and get drinks!”, Penelope suggested after a taxing case. It had been a long time since the whole team did something fun together, and they thought this way they could get you two drunk enough to finally tell them what was going on.

“I-I don’t really feel like it…”, Spencer said softly as he grabbed his coat and bag.

“Oh come on pretty boy! It’ll be fun!”, Derek said as he patted Spencer on the back.

“I could definitely afford to get wasted”, you huffed, sneaking a glare at Spencer. He avoided your glance and reluctantly agreed to go for a little while.

When you all got to the bar, you and Spencer sat as far away from each other as possible. He slowly sipped on a beer as you, JJ, Emily, and Penelope went to the bar to order. He watched as you downed a line of shots, and he sunk further into his seat. 

You did four shots, gaining amazed, and slightly concerned looks from the girls. They knew whatever happened must have been really bad because you clearly wanted to forget everything.

“Whoo! Come on! Let’s dance!”, they couldn’t say no to that, so the four of you made your way to the dance floor. Penelope traded a knowing look at Derek who joined her. Spencer sat and watched as you all danced and jumped around, a light sheen of sweat forming on your forehead. You looked so beautiful and free, he thought to himself, but he quickly pushed the thought away and took a swig of beer.

You wanted so desperately to forget about Spencer, who discarded your entire friendship over one stupid night, but you couldn’t. The way the dim lights outlined his face made your heart race. All you wanted was to kiss him again. You had to do something to get your mind off of him. You thought the alcohol would help, but your intoxicated state was only making your feelings stronger.

Blurry bodies, but you're on my mind

We let it go now I'm full of rum and regret

I go out just so I can reforget

You jumped as you felt a hand on your waist. You turned to see a tall, handsome man with smirking eyes. Normally when in this situation you would tell the guy to fuck off because honestly you were repulsed by any guy who felt the need to grab a random woman’s waist at a bar. However, tonight, you found the unwarranted touch empowering. This is what you needed, you told yourself, some guy to help you forget about Spencer. 

Spencer’s eyes grew with anger as he saw the guy, who wasn’t him, dance up against you. He ran his hands all over your body, causing Spencer’s blood to boil. The worst part was that you seemed to be enjoying it. Normally when a guy approaches you at the bar, you find Spencer so he’ll give up and move onto some other girl. You always made Spencer feel special because he knew you trusted him to keep you safe. But now, seeing you grind against that arrogant man, in a way he has never seen you move before, was more than he could handle.

You hated yourself for what you were doing, knowing you would regret it in the morning, but it felt nice to be desired after three weeks of Spencer ignoring you. That’s why, when the guy pressed his lips against yours, you reciprocated will full force. 

“Do you want to get out of here?”, he whispered in your ear. You nodded, using all your willpower to not turn around and look at Spencer. He didn’t want you. He made that very clear. Why shouldn’t you go home with this guy? He was hot, a good kisser...not as good as Spencer...No! Stop! This is good. This is what you need.

Spencer felt a single tear roll down his cheek as that man kissed you. The salty taste consumed his mouth as he watched you leave the bar, your hands interlocked. He watched your blurred silhouettes leave as he broke down in tears. 

Two more footsteps on the wood floor, but it ain't you

I'm faded so I bring someone home

You opened the door to your apartment and he pushed you up against the wall, tracing your body with kisses. You moaned at the sensation, but when you closed your eyes, all you could see what Spencer. 

The guy, whose name you still hadn’t even bothered to find out, began to lift your top, running his fingers on your bare waist. At this, all you could think about was how much you wished that this guy was Spencer. Fuck, you thought, as tears brimmed your eyes. 

“Hey, I’m sorry, I’m just really tired…”, you said as you pushed the guy off of you.

“Oh, okay”, he forced a smile to hide his disappointment.

You walked to your bedroom, tears running down your cheeks, hoping he would just take the hint and leave. As you closed your bedroom door, you heard your front door close. You laid down on your bed and let yourself do the one thing you wouldn’t let yourself do all night: think about Spencer.

Already paying for tonight

Head spins like a carousel, over and over

Spencer had left not long after you. He made his way back to his apartment, where the only images protruding his brain were of you under that guy and him making you feel the way Spencer wanted to make you feel. He couldn’t get the thought of you moaning some other guy’s name out of his head. 

He tried to sleep but it was no use. Whenever he closed his eyes, all he could see was you. That’s it, he thought. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to go see you. He looked over at his alarm clock: 3:28 am. Well, at least at this point he wouldn’t interrupt whatever activities the two of you had gotten up to. God, he hoped he wouldn’t walk in on that.

The short drive to your apartment felt like a lifetime. He thought about what he would say, how he would explain himself. He wanted you to know how much you mean to him, even if you didn’t feel the same. 

I never thought a sunrise

Could burn more than a midnight without you

You had been trying to sleep for hours, but it was no use. Images of Spencer filled your head. You were still pissed at him for ignoring you for the past few weeks, but to be honest, what hurt more was how empty you felt without him next to you. You missed how he would lay his head on your shoulder when he would fall asleep on the jet after long cases, you missed hearing his laugh every time you made a stupid joke at your desks, but mostly, you just missed talking to your best friend.

Spencer finally made it to your apartment and was relieved to not be greeted with any muffled moans. He stood at your door for a moment, collecting his thoughts. He scrounged up an ounce of courage and put his knuckles to your door. 

You jolted up as you heard a knock at your door. Confused, and exhausted from crying, you quickly wiped away your tears and headed for the door. Shock set in as you saw who it was.

When you opened the door, Spencer was met with your red, puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. His hair was more disheveled than normal, like he had been running his hands through it, which he always did when he was overwhelmed on a case. 

“What are you doing here?”, you croaked out, annoyance lacing your voice, after a few moments of silence. Spencer looked you up and down and his eyes softened at your current state. His heart twinged at the sight of you so upset. He secretly hoped you were only upset because of him and not because that idiot guy did something to hurt you when he wasn’t there for you.

“I just, I needed to tell you I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you like that, and I’m sorry”, he paused, waiting for your reaction. When you just stood there, unsure of what to say, he continued, “Are you okay? You-”

“Okay?!”, you cut him off, “Am I okay?! I don’t know Spence! Would you be okay if your best friend ignored you for three weeks just because of one stupid mistake?!” The pain in your voice broke through the anger as you choked back tears. It hurt him to see you in this much pain, especially because of something he did, but, what sent a sharp twinge through his heart, was hearing you admit that it was a mistake. He knew you would regret it. He should never have come. He turned to leave before you could see his own tears forming.

“Oh that’s it! Just leave me again!”, you sobbed. He snapped his head back around.

“Well, I’m sorry! But don’t you get it! I didn’t ignore you just to be a jerk! I can’t stand to look at you without breaking down. I’m- I’m sorry that I love you so much that it physically pains me to know you don’t feel the same.” You just stare at him, your eyes growing wider. “God, (y/n), I’m sorry but you can’t blame me for not wanting to talk to you after you realized kissing me was such a horrible thing. I’m sorry I’m not as hot or good of a dancer as that guy at the bar. And I’m sorry that seeing you leave with him and do who knows what literally kills me inside”, by now Spencer was sobbing. You still couldn’t bring yourself to react, still shocked by what he had said: he loves you.

Spencer let out a sigh and turned to leave again, only this time you grabbed his arm, just like that night three weeks ago, and placed a kiss to his lips. He quickly pulled away, not knowing whether you did it out of pity or to make fun of him.

“Spence…”, you looked into his eyes, “I never said kissing you was a mistake. C’mon, you’re the one who has an eidetic memory”. You expected him to at least let out a chuckle, but he replied sternly.

“You just said that night was a ‘stupid mistake’”, he huffed. Your face softened and you took a deep breath.

“I didn’t mean kissing you was a mistake”, you whispered, “I just-when you left after kissing me, I just-I thought”, you sighed, “I was so confused Spencer, cause that was the best kiss of my entire life, and then when you left and wouldn’t respond to my texts, I just assumed you didn’t want anything to do with me.” When he still didn’t say anything, you asked, “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”, he sheepishly asked.

“That you love me”, you said with a small smile. He finally looked you in the eye and mirrored your grin.

“Of course I love you, (y/n)”, he admitted matter of factually. You were about to kiss him again when he backed away and asked, “Wait, what exactly happened between you and that guy from the bar…”

“Oh”, you let out a coy laugh, “Sorry you had to see that… We came back here, but nothing happened. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how much I wished it was you instead of him-”

“Really?”

“Of course… Spence...I love you too. That’s why I kissed you. When I pulled away at first it wasn’t because I was sorry I did it, I just was sorry in case I made you uncomfortable because I- I didn’t want to lose you…”

Spencer stared at you before enveloping you in a hug and wrapping one hand around your waist and the other in your hair. You placed your arms around his shoulders and rubbed your thumb on the back of his neck.

“I promise, you’re never going to lose me again”, he said as he kissed your head. You looked up at him and brought him in for a kiss. This one was just as passionate as the one you shared all those weeks ago, only it was gentler and more sensual. You grasped each other as if your lives depended on it. You continued your kiss as your salty tears mixed with the taste of alcohol in your mouths, but neither of you cared. When you finally broke apart for air, you embraced each other in another hug.

“Let’s go to bed”, you whispered in his ear. Spencer hummed in response and picked you up, earning a loud giggle from you. He put you down on the bed and crawled in with you. He pulled you close to his chest as you placed your face in the crook of his neck. The two of you closed your eyes and were finally able to sleep soundly for the first time in weeks, comforted by the presence of one another.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #reid x reader #reid x you #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fic #penelopy garcia #emily prentiss #jj #derek morgan

[aliasimagines]

One Hell of a Night // Luke Patterson

a/n: HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y'ALL, it officially passed midnight here.Are you guys going to celebrate Halloween at home? And if so are you going to dress up? Tell me all about it lovelies, I wanna hear it ❤️. prompt 18 nad 15 from this list🎃 this fic is chaotic, hope you enjoy😊

word count: 2692

warnings: a few (three i think?) curse words, and a..uhm a line of dirty talking (I'm sorry I'm not like this all the time I promise 😅) and scary stories

The dry, colorful autumn leaves creaked under hiking boots as you walked into the woods. A smile appeared on your face as you heard some noises. Only a few seconds later you spotted the source. The Sunset Curve. The boys worked on getting the campfire lit while joking and laughing loudly. You stopped by a tree and leaned against it. Alex just hit Reggie on the back for just sitting around and not helping with putting logs and dry leaves on the fireplace. Thanks to Alex, Reggie swallowed the huge marshmello he had in his mouth and started coughing. 

Bobby was trying to light his lighter again and again but it just didn't work. That's when Luke threw a pack of matches at him causing the rhythm guitarist to stumble back and fall into a pile of leaves. You started laughing quietly and walked up to them.

"That wasn't nice of you, babe." you said from behind Luke. He jumped, not noticing you creeping up on him.

"BAH! I almost got a heart attack, y/n!" he shouts pouting. You giggled and placed a small kiss on his cheek. 

"That's what you get for not waiting for me." you smirk. Luke looks down embarrassed and goes to scrape the back of his head. 

"Yeah…Sorry about that. I was too eager to set up the camp." he gestured at the two tents. Both were full of blankets and pillows. It looked super comfortable. You also spotted his acoustic guitar, and a whole bunch of food in you guys' tent. 

"You did a great job."you smiled before walking over to the other boys." Hi guys! What's up?"

"Y/N! Finally! Tell Alex to stop hitting me!" yelled Reggie. You shook your head laughing. 

“Stop being so childish than Reginald!”

“Boys, come on!! It is halloween, have some fun!” and with that you fished out a huge bag of candy from your backpack and threw it into Reggie’s hands. He looked up at you like you were some kind of miracle maker. 

“Is this..is this all candy?” the dark haired boy asked, still in awe. You laughed, nodding your head slightly. 

“Yeah. I don’t really want to think about how much money I spent on sweets.” 

Soon after everyone got to work (this time for real) and the fire was lit in no time. Just as it started to get darker. All five of you sat around the campfire. You sat next to Luke, opposed to  Reggie and Alex. Bobby sat beside them in a camping chair. Thanks to the warm californian weather you didn’t need jackets just yet, despite being the end of october.

"It's getting dark. I think we could get started on the ghost stories?" asked Bobby looking up at the sky then around the little clearing in the woods where your tents were set up. Reggie munched on some candy corns but immediately stopped upon hearing those words. 

"Ghost stories? Don't mind if I do." he sat his candies aside and prepared to tell a story that would send shivers down your spines. You leaned over to Luke, placing your head on his shoulder. He looked down at you with a smile before turning his attention back to the bassist. 

"One day, a little boy, while walking around the woods, found a big toe on the ground. He ran home with it and-" 

"-his mom cooked it in the soup which revolted in the toe's owner haunting them." you suddenly cut Reggie off. He gasps, offended. 

"What? I knew the story. Was I supposed to just sit around?" you ask, earning a soft laugh from Luke. Reggie huffed and gestured at you. 

"Alright then, take it away y/n. See if you can do better."

"Not to be that person but she definitely can. You only said like two sentences." Alex jumped in, not wanting to miss an opportunity to roast his friend. 

"Because she cut me off!!" 

The woods, once again erupted with the boys' laughter as you stared into the fire, waiting for them to quiet down so you can start your story. 

"I was only a small kid when this happened, around five,maybe six, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. My mother was out of town for the weekend because of her work, so naturally, it was my father who read me a bedtime story in the evening. Everything was great, he was reading from my favorite book but right before he could finish the chapter we heard a quiet tapping noise from downstairs. My father looked puzzled and put his finger against his lips, signaling me to stay quiet so he could listen. The tapping didn't stop, it got louder before turning into banging and a final loud crash which sounded like the front door flying open. I looked at my father, scared to death, not knowing what to do." you kept your voice low, your face straight and never removed your eyes from the fire."He grabbed me and quickly ran with me to the small bathroom that was connected to my room. He instructed me to lock my door and only open it when he says so. I don't know what happened after that, but heard my father going down and some muffled noises before hearing him climb back up the stairs. I remember his voice. It was just so nice and comforting. He said it was a false alarm and I could come out. I reached for the doorknob but then he leaned down and looked inside through the keyhole. My little hands stopped midair. I kept staring at his eyes. He repeated that it was safe to come out and that everything was fine. But I did not believe him. Because that wasn't my father. He sounded exactly like him, but his eyes… They were a different color. Not my father's welcoming eye color. So I just stood there. For minutes. Maybe hours. He wouldn't stop talking, reassuring me but I still didn't unlock the door."

Reggie leaned forward with a worried and scared expression.  

"What happened next?" 

You lifted your gaze, slowly to look at the spooked boy. 

"He started tapping. It sounded just like it did on the front door. And it wasn't long before he started banging his hand against the wood." 

"Oh my god.." Reggie whispers. 

"He is hitting harder and harder until finally the door breaks and flies open. And the creature, no longer looking or sounding like my father, rather like a tall bloodied figure with sharp teeth, jumps at me, opening his huge mouth and SWALLOWS ME WHOLE." you shout the last part causing Reggie to scream and the others to jump just a little. 

"Fuuckk, i think I peed myself!" exclaims Reggie. You only laugh, seeing all the boys being a bit paler. 

"So who's next?" 

"I'll go." Luke said beside you and you shifted away from him, knowing that he will need the space to gesture along his story. You watched as he started to speak. His expression changes with every sentence as he introduces his characters. His frown as he talks about a creepy night in the woods. Your eyes wander down to his lips, too busy just staring at them to actually listen to the words that make them move. You distantly hear various curse words from the guys as your boyfriend goes deeper into detail with his horrifying story. With eyes still glued to Luke, you smile slightly. 

"../n...y/n...Y/N!" you hear making you jump and almost falling backwards on the log you have been sitting on. You see all the guys staring at you. 

"How are you not scared? Did you not hear Luke's story?" Reggie asks, earning a knowing laugh from Alex. 

"No, she did not. She was too busy staring at his lips." as your friend's words hit your ears you feel your face heating up. 

"Dude..,alright I might have zoomed out. A bit but I am here now. Where were you, babe?" 

Luke looks at you, amused. 

"I finished like 3 minutes ago. You 'zoomed out' for legit 20 minutes." 

Looking up at the sky, you realized they were right because it got pitch black since you last looked up. Your lips curved into an 'o' shape before mumbling a sorry.. 

“We should put more wood on the fire. It's starting to weaken.” says Reggie. Bobby points into the dark woods.

“Suit yourself, man.” 

“What? I am not going alone. Someone come with me.” he whines. Alex visibly changes his posture and sits into a more comfortable position.Luke puts his muscular arm around your shoulder grinning.

“You’re on your own, man.”

“No! Please??”

You bite back a laugh and carefully remove Luke’s arm from you. 

“Alright, I’ll go with you.” 

“Thank you!You are amazing!” 

You grab the basket ,that’s been laying on the ground, for the twigs. You also reach into your bag for your flashlight. 

“Ok, I’m ready to go.” you step towards Reggie but Luke grabs your hand and places a small kiss on it. 

“Be careful, love.”

“Always.”

The two of you start walking towards the woods.

“Try not to pee yourselfs guys!” Alex calls after you in a sing-song voice.

“Ha ha, very funny Alex.”

To be honest you were a little spooked but didn’t show it.Not like Reggie who was literally shaking beside you and jumped up at every little noise he heard as you got further into the woods. You picked up a few sticks and bigger twigs, slowly filling the basket with them. Or rather, you tried but when Reggie stoped right in front of you you accidentally dropped it spilling the stuff everywhere.

“Dude! I am trying to help you here!”

“Shhhhh! Didn’t you hear that?” he whispers, voice panicked. 

“Come on, Reg. This isn’t going to work on me.”

He turns to look at you.

“No, y/n! I am serious! I heard a whisper! I’m sure of it!”

You roll your eyes, not believing your friend.

“You gotta be more convincing next time. I dont scare that easily..AH” just as you assured Reginald how it takes more for you to get spooked, someone, or something grabbed you from behind and started to pull you while shouting ‘WAA’. The flashlight landed on the ground too as you let out a bloodcurdling scream. You kicked your attacker(s?) wherever you could. 

“Ahh! WHoo, stop, it’s just us.” you suddenly hear your boyfriend's voice and feel the arms around you letting go. You turned around your fear vanishing and turning into anger.

Reggie behind you falls on the ground,clutching his chest while he tries not to cry.

“ARE YOU GUYS INSANE?!” you shout at Luke and Booby. Alex is nowhere to be seen, he probably stayed next the fire to keep an eye on your stuff. Luke's eyes immediately  widen upon hearing you raise your voice.

“I..I am sorry we thought-”

“What?! Lucas Patterson I am, so, so mad at you right now” you say shaking. You hear Bobby giggle quietly. You snap your head in his direction. “And don't even get me started on you Bobby...Bobby..uhm” you stop to think about his surname, only to realise you don’t know it. For a moment you let go of your anger. “What is your surname?”

He only scoffs and smiles. Alex must have heard the shouting and come to investigate with a flashlight in one hand and a drumstick (as a weapon?) in his other.He soon puts them down tho as he sees that you are all in one piece. Luke looks at Bobby with a puzzled expression.

“That is actually creepy, cause I don’t know it either.”

“What?! How? He has been in a band for, what? A year and a half? And you never actually asked his last name?” you ask, more interested in the mystery of Bobby’s name than shouting at them now. Luke shrugs.

“Do you even have a last name?” you hear Reggie asking from the ground. You all turn to him with questioning looks.

“Everyone has a last name Reginald.” says Alex.

“Not celtic gods, no.” he responds.

“What?” Luke exclaims clearny not understanding the bassist.

“Bobby is not a god.” says the drummer annoyed. “ He is a normal teenager like us.”

“Is he tho?”

Meanwhile Bobby leans back against a tree and stares at Reggie.

“You are creeping me out...Please stop creeping me out oh majestic god of...what are you the god of?”

Booby just smiles mysteriously. 

“Oh for f…’s sake.Y/N back me up here, there are no gods and even if there were, Bobby is not one of them.”

“Thanks Alex but I am not offending a celtic god.”

“What is wrong with you guys?!”

Luke doesn’t know who to look at in this chaos. Soon he decides to pick up the twigs and collect more while you, Reggie and Alex argue whether Bobby is a god or not. Bobby bends down too, to help the lead singer.

“You do know my name is actually Wilson, right?” 

“Yeah. Of course I do, I think Reggie does too, he just forgot.” the two boys laugh. 

You all walk back to the camp and Booby, upon seeing Reggie still looking at him suspiciously walks over to him.

“I am not an ancient god, you know.”

“That is exactly what I would say too.”

Not hearing Reggie’s nonsense reminds you of what Luke did so when you feel him wrapping his arms around you, you push him away.

“I sorry, bae. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have. Please look at me?” he stands before you so there is no way you can avoid him.

“Don’t do this again.” you said with a firm tone. You can't help but smile, seeing Luke’s shit eating grin. He opens his arms once again but waits for you to hug him first. You do, and for minutes you just stand there in his embrace. The silence was broken by the familiar sound of the acoustic guitar which was followed by Reggie’s voice as he started to play some country song. 

“Dude, no, put down my guitar.”Luke ran off to get his instrument or to, at least convince him to play ‘normal’ music. You laugh and walk over to Alex and Bobby.

“Hey, y/n, I am sorry about scaring you.”

You wave your hand. 

“It’s fine. However don’t be surprised when I get back at you.” you say before sitting down next to Reggie and giving him a hug because let’s be honest he was pretty traumatised in the woods too.

“Woo,hey! Why does he get a hug?” Luke asks, upset he couldn’t change Reggies mind about playing country songs. And from the fact that his girlfriend was hugging him.

“Maybe because you decided that it was a funny idea to scare the living shit out of him and I.”

“Stop guilt tripping me.” he pulls you up and away from the fire, closer to the tents. ”I said I am sorry. And you are right, I shouldn’t  have scared you. Besides…” he leaned closer to your ear “I know more fun ways to make you scream.”

You gasp upon hearing his words and right when you are about to react Alex walks by casually. 

“No, no. With the tents it’s like we are sleeping next to each other. If you guys try anything I will murder you myself.”

Both of you look after him, blushing before breaking into laughter.

Luke’s watch showed 3:58 when you all agreed to call it a night.You put out the fire with the help of Bobby while Luke went to pack away the trash you all left out.

Reggie yawned and looked up at Alex.

“I am still pretty scared...Can I cuddle you Alex?”

He looks at him like he heard it wrong.

“Absolutely not.”

“What about you Bobby?”

“No way, Reg.”

Despite them saying this, all three of them woke up hugging each other in the morning.

#Julie and the phantoms x reader #Julie and the phantoms imagine #jatp imagine #jatp one shot #jatp x readet #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson one shot #reggue jatp imagine #reggie reginald imagine #alex jatp imagine #bobby jatp imagine #bobby the celtic god #halloween imagine #reggie jatp x reader #luke jatl x reader #alex jatp x reader #bobby jatl x reader #alias imagines

[tatooedlaura-blog]

Sidebar Nonsense

This one follows up ‘Memento Mori’ ... There’s cancer and angst and light humor and tears ... all rolled into one ...

Our Moment Chapter 1: Five Words Chapter 2: Sidebar Nonsense

@today-in-fic @laurenclare88

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Scully held it together as she walked away, slippered feet silent in the 5am halls, robe tied tight, shoulders held high. She could feel his eyes following her so she didn’t give in until she turned the corner. Immediately, she tilted against the wall, three deep breaths in, trying to keep the vomit from rising past the point of no return, from landing in a splashing nightmare all over the linoleum floor. Her head felt like it was about to split, sweat breaking out on her cold skin, running down her back and between her breasts. Gathering strength and wondering how the hell she made it through sitting with Penny and through her hallway confessional with Mulder, she got back to her room, cold water on her face and more deep breaths as she gripped the edge of the sink. Calming her stomach enough to be able to get dressed, she rested against the bed, exhausted to the bone, the last few days a whirlwind nightmare of medication, loss, fear, and pain. She wanted nothing more than to go to sleep but not about to settle back on the bed behind her, she stood, got her bearings and went to meet Mulder.

She knew he’d be outside her door, waiting. He wouldn’t come in without knocking but four years together told her he would be standing guard whenever she had finished packing and, true to form, he held out his hand to take her bag. “Do you have to let anyone know your leaving?”

Lying through her teeth because she couldn’t take the thought of discharge paperwork and follow-up care, “yes, I took care of it last night.”

He saw through the lie but didn’t question her about it, instead aiming his partner towards the elevator, “do you think you can handle the ride home? It’s going to be about four hours.”

The thought of that had her shutting her eyes, leaning on the jamb of the elevator, “four?”

“At least.” All the knowledge in the world couldn’t have prepared him for just how tired she looked. She’d looked tired as she walked away from him twenty minutes earlier, but now, she looked about to drop. Her face had been pale, the skin around her eyes a light gray smudge but now, she was white and sweaty, eyes glassy, the surrounding gray had deepened to dark and foreboding, “we can get a hotel here for the night, if you’d like? I’ll even spring for a good one, my treat.”

Shallow breath in, she exhaled slowly, gathering every bit of strength she could find, before meeting his gaze, “I’d like to go home, please.”

Willing to do anything she asked, he nodded, “then let’s go. I conned the security people to let me park by the doors.”

Never, ever, had she been so happy to see a rental car in her life, to lay the passenger seat back fully, to feel Mulder drape his coat over her, to give one heavy sigh before shutting her eyes, to fall asleep before they hit the freeway.

She didn’t move until he pulled up to her front door, having slept through gas station stops, bathroom breaks, and McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches consumed with surprising gusto. Getting out, he moved to her side of the car, opening the door, coaxing her awake with a soft voice and a gently shake, “hey, Scully, we’re home.”

Feeling like lead, she had trouble comprehending words, turning her head in his direction and groaning lightly, falling back to sleep even as she opened her mouth to form a curt ‘go away’. Several attempts on his part later, she was upstairs, standing in the middle of her living room, wondering where to go next.

He would be worried about her after he got her to bed. Moving her down the hall with hands on arms, he went to turn her right into the bedroom, but she fought him suddenly, turning left towards the bathroom, skidding on the rug as she dropped, kneeling in front of the toilet and letting loose. Stunned, he watched her back arch, knuckles turn white as they gripped the seat, trying to keep herself from tipping over or tipping forward.

What the hell was he doing?

Dropping her bag, he took two strides to get beside her, then another to step over her, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, hand now gently on the back of her neck, “you’re okay.”

The moment he touched her, she said his name, garbled and graveled, using precious moments between puking jags to call to him.

Second round was bad, third had her back cracking from top to bottom. Finally quieting after round four, she settled her head on the toilet seat, Mulder’s leg against her side the only thing keeping her from sliding to the floor. Reaching over her head, he flushed one last time, before twisting, grabbing a washcloth to wet in the bathtub. Wringing it out, he first held it to her nose before, “I need you to sit back or this is never going to stop bleeding.”

She was in some kind of limbo at the moment, hearing words and obeying commands but not comprehending a damn thing. ‘Sit’ sounded familiar so she tilted back, the world skewed sideways as she felt Mulder move her hand to the washcloth with an order to ‘hold’ then felt his hand on her back and legs, scooting her against the wall. Once there, solid surface keeping her upright, more words drifted in but choosing to ignore them, she instead felt him wiping her nose, her sweaty face and neck. The water was warm but it chilled her, tile leeching heat from her, replacing with shiver-inducing cold. Feeling a towel go around her shoulders, then his arm, she assumed clean-up was done and saying his name once more, she passed out against his shoulder.

She drifted back in when she heard his voice echoing, “okay. Thank you.”

‘Hhhmming’ sound in her throat made her presence known and Mulder rubbed her arm, hand drifting up to run a thumb along the edge of her ear, over her temple, “you back?”

Her head was now in his lap, the floor still cold beneath her hip, “what?”

“You checked out for a few minutes so I called the hospital, rustled up somebody we know and asked them if I needed to bring you in.” Thumb now methodically stroking her jawline, “but you’re awake now and Genevieve said that this is a common side-effect and you just need to sleep some more. She also said to call if you were still nauseous and they’d give you something.” Meeting her side-eye staring up at him, “how’s your stomach?”

She had to think about it but, “okay for now. My head hurts and my eyes.” She’d been looking up at him but it hurts, “why do my eyes hurt?”

“You blew a few blood vessels. You look like something out of a sci-fi flick. They got kind of bulgy, too. I’d like to never see that happen again, if it’s okay with you.”

Banter was not cutting it right now. “Can you help me to bed and get me some Tylenol, aspirin, mallet, please?”

He would curb the small talk until later, “yup. Hold on.” It took some maneuvering but soon she was sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping tightly the mattress edge, wondering how long she could keep herself upright.

Not long but as soon as the slither to the ground began, Mulder was back, drugs and water in hand, “whoo, hang on.” Catching her by the upper arms, he kept one hand on her while he gave her the hastily put down and semi-spilled water and pills, “take these and then we’ll get you in some dry clothes. You’re still shivering.”

“Why am I wet?”

While groping for pajamas at the end of the bed, “you sweated right through them. I could have wrung a bucket of water out of you when you were done.”

She would be embarrassed by that later, and handing him back the empty glass, she took a deep breath, “turn around so I can change but don’t go anywhere, okay?”

Doing as asked, he stood against her, back of his thighs against her bent knees, keeping her on the bed as she slowly changed, arms too heavy to hold up for long. Pants were more difficult but she allowed to help with those, Mulder tucked her in bed a few minutes later, her eyes already blinking shut, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“I just see you, Scully, nothing else. The rest is just … it’s just …” he couldn’t get past the sentence at first and voice cracking, “the rest is just sidebar nonsense that you deal with when you love somebody.”

She would have cried had she had the strength but she did manage her final request of the day, “will you come keep me warm?”

Nodding, he found his ‘staying the night’ sweatpants and, blinds closed and drapes drawn, dropping a dark shadow over the room, he slipped in beside her, not wanting to jostle the bed. Reaching towards her, he rubbed her back for a moment, “good night.”

Last ounce of energy, she scooted back a few inches, “meet me in the middle.” Drained by those few inches, Mulder had to do most of the moving but soon, they were together, Scully instantly relaxing into the heat of him. Out in seconds, Mulder felt her drift off and before he followed, he kissed the back of her neck, “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#msr #my writing #MulderNScully #Memento Mori #sidebar nonsense #xfiles fanfic

[elisela]

17 Questions, 17 People

Tagged by @radio-chatter 💕

Nicknames: eli

Zodiac: pisces and i am absolutely typical of a water sign sooo

Height: 5′1″

Hogwarts house: slytherin

Last thing I googled: border crossing requirements for canada. we were thinking about going up to vancouver and nanaimo for a few days during break but haven't made up our minds yet.

Followers: 883 and probably 800 of them are wondering if i'm ever going to start posting about buddie again (... i'm not)

Song stuck in my head: candy cane lane by sia

How much sleep: um ... five hours? the baby crawled into bed with me at 4am and i didn't fall back asleep after that. whoo.

Lucky number: 13, i guess? i don't really think of any numbers as lucky.

Dream job: anything that would result in me being filthy rich within two years so i didn't have to work anymore. who needs it. i do love teaching but all the behind-the-scenes of teaching is starting to make it not so great soooo

Wearing: red dinosaur christmas pajamas from target. the baby has on her matching ones.

Favourite song: right now it's habits by plested

Favourite instrument: guitar. guy with guitar is my favorite type of music. doesn't really matter what it is lol.

Aesthetic: you know that tumblr post that goes around that talks about man caves and how men shouldn't be relegated to one room in a house for all their knick-knack funko pop collector item movie poster shit because their wife wants a house that looks like it's straight from a catalog? i'm the wife. i like minimalist clean. everything in my house should be grey toned. give me an all white kitchen with a navy backsplash and island. bookshelves should be organized nicely with meaningless little pieces of art and nice photos. for the love of god please don't have blank walls but movie posters don't belong on them. neither do sports posters. just ... no posters. hide the television, it's a goddamn eyesore. if it would be out of place in a pottery barn or crate and barrel, it's not my aesthetic.

Favourite Author: every author i know just flew out of my head. anthony doerr. amal el-mohtar and max gladstone. rainbow rowell. brittany cavallaro.

Favourite animal noise: um ... i don't think i have one?

Something random: i have 19 unread books artfully arranged on shelves in my room and i'm pretty sure they've been there at least three years and i just keep ignoring them to read fic whooooops

Tagging: @tylerhunklin @cinematicnomad @extasiswings @the-wardrobeintocamelot @thisissirius @acehardys @florenceandthemachine @fairydustedtheory @sterekxhale @lifeinkinder @princecharmingwinks

#uh it stopped tagging after 11 so #i guess that's all i'm doing #tag games

[gisellelx]

Potentially more Ordinary Time? Yessssss! If you don't mind sharing, what might future chapters for that look like?

reference post

That's a really good question! Ordinary Time has sort of gotten away from me and what I originally set out to have it be. It was spawned by me re-reading this paragraph from "For a Season," written in 2011:

I screen And the Band Played On in my seminar. My students are twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, born in the middle of the eighties. AZT has been around as long as they can remember. Gays have always been out. The problem is whether or not they'll be allowed to marry, now.

At the time when I wrote that, anything even remotely resembling marriage equality seemed so unlikely in the US. States were going back and forth; you'd see a really progressive state adopt marriage equality and then backpedal to "civil unions" and then a swing state consider it and back off and conservative states were literally setting up business rules that said "you only count as a married couple for the purposes of our business if you would be able to be legally married in our state" (i.e. you had better be in a straight marriage, no matter where you live) and it all seemed very hopeless. Then two years after I wrote that came the Windsor verdict and then two years after that Obergefell. Then 45 got elected and there was this mass panic in December of January 2016-2017 where I feel like every same-gender couple I knew hurried up and got married. It was the most bittersweet two months of celebrating over and over and knowing the main reason all these weddings were happening was because everyone feared their civil rights were going to be legislated away.

So when I re-read that paragraph 8 years after I wrote it, I thought, "Whoo boy has a lot happened since Carlisle had that thought!" and knew I had to write about it. I originally set out to capture those three things through Carlisle and Edward's eyes: that tension between hope and elation and despair and fear. I view it, therefore, even though it is a really fun universe, as fundamentally a fic that is not as much about Carlisle/Edward and their weird "Happily as Ever it Can Be" AU as it is about American politics, principally those which involve the US Supreme Court. I spend as much time writing and editing the historical notes as I do any other part of any given chapter--I want those notes to ring a particular tone, as well.

When the Bostock decision came down in summer 2020 amidst the pandemic and the worldwide Black Lives Matter demonstrations, I knew I needed to come back to that world. (Fun fact: I drafted and posted that chapter within that one day so that it would drop in real time, as though Carlisle and Edward were really there, reflecting on their day). Then a bunch of people asked in reviews if I would write the 2020 election since I had written the 2016 one, and so from that came chapter 5.

I have been toying and even have a few hundred words down about the Capitol insurrection on January 6, 2021, but that story is really Rene's in this fic and so I have to think about it carefully. Carlisle and Edward have lived through much more and so to stay in-character, they realistically wouldn't be as shocked. So that one is still pretty likely to happen (although I feel weird about being over a year out from the original event there but who knows).

A case I'm eyeing that was argued this spring and will be decided in the summer session is Dobbs v Jackson Women’s Health Organization. Dobbs, if decided for the state, which I really hate to say seems somewhat likely, will enable many more restrictive laws around abortion to be passed around the country, effectively rolling back protections that three generations of (some) American women have enjoyed. There's a really interesting (read: tension-filled, plot heavy) conversation to be had around that one between Renesmee, who in OT Chapter 5 is doing a residency in neonatology, Edward, who wanted to abort Bella's pregnancy, and Carlisle who is pretty damn religious but also sees abortion as a medical procedure first and foremost and is a little titchy about situations where the life of the mother is involved, for some obvious reasons. (Funnily enough, @jessicanjpa tagged me in this post the other day and I went, "Yeah, I was kind of already thinking about writing a conversation just like that, in fact, but it's gonna be AU...")

So those are two I'm thinking concretely about. I'm open to ideas, though. This story has gotten a little away from my fingertips in a good way; I consider it the one that is written the absolute most for me—I used to live in D.C. and I'm a bit of a SCOTUS wonk, and I mostly write these chapters so that I can have fun spending time with Carlisle and Edward in this version of their world + mine.

#sorry I'm wordy #fic asks #ordinary time #fanfic #right after I posted this #I opened BD to check for an analogue to the movie line #and it fell open to the page where Carlisle tells Jake he won't force Bella #my books know me