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allyriadayne · 3 months

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Can you talk more about your house Dayne headcanons? Especially if it's anything about Allyria or Ashara.

hiii sure, though some of them i've already written about here.

okay... let's see. i like to think ashara was younger than elia by more than a few years, the younger of elia's ladies and the only one who could entertain her and make her laugh when elia was in the worse of her pains (some kind of chronic illness?). very lively and carefree, the complete opposite of arthur who was too intense and serious for normal people. i am 100% behind tumblr user mylestoyne's version of arthur and i would not change a thing. i'm obsessed (if you search my arthur tag i'm sure i've reblogged some posts about it). i see her as deeply empathetic and sensitive.

i like the contrast of arthur being too enmeshed in the targ conspiracies while ashara is living the highborn single lady life in the capital, too worried about elia's moods than about aerys or the other lords. though while she was afraid of (and for) arthur, i think she was fascinated by him and could not make herself turn away. let me explain, being the sword of the morning is the top of the top, instant celebrity status, mythic hero sense of destiny. and i think having your brother become and embody this type of role is A Lot. esp bc arthur must have been facing the horrors of whether he was Worthy of wielding dawn and because i don't think he ever let himself be human, not before gaining down and not ever after. growing up with legends of swords of the morning fucks you up, it's like aegon the conqueror suddenly appearing to the targs. like. it's the SWORD that funded your HOUSE, the magic FALLING STAR embodied in the brother ashara always thought was more than human (or less?!?!?!?!). and while she chafed against arthur's bonds, i don't think it

in any case, i think ashara was a very social person, feeding from her connections and when she was sent (in disgrace?) back to starfall after getting pregnant, cut off from her friends and court, to the castle where only her little sister resided was very hard. now her baby is dead, her /brother/ is dead, lord dayne is still in the war, elia dead.... well. i could see her not having anything else to cling to.

i headcanon allyria was either the daughter of a second marriage or a very accidental baby because of the difference in ages between her and her siblings. i like to think her mother was an allyrion of godsgrace that felt very homesick and named her daughter in reference to her former house. of course she was the baby and of course she was spoiled esp because her older siblings were not in starfall at all (edric's dad serving the martells in sunspear, and arthur & ashara in the capital). she's the one who knows the castle best of all because she's never left it, a point of pride and of resentment. and speaking of resentment, while she was happy to see ashara come back to have her baby in dorne, she 100% hated her after she threw herself from the palestone sword tower partly bc as a child she didn't understand why ashara would leave her.

allyria never got on with her oldest brother that well, a massive age difference and the disparity in grief (he remembered ashara and arthur and loved them while allyria never really knew them) didn't help to make them closer, not even when they were the only ones inhabiting starfall after the rebellion. i headcanon allyria as somewhat an odd child to the adults around her, by all technicalities an only child, priding herself in her independence but yearning for company. lord dayne seeing this and not wanting her to grow alone he brings gerold from high hermitage (gerold's mother was a dayne from starfall) and they form a friendship. very pure and very healthy except when gerold needs to gain his spurs and thinks of himself as the man of the castle bc lord dayne as his knight master is too sick to perform the usual lordly tasks like ridding the lands from outlaws or performing justice. this i think contributes to his sense of importance and wanting the sword etc (he leaves starfall bc he starts hating lord dayne's weakness and allyria's passivity in this issue, he also needs to make a name for himself away from this).

allyria loves babies and when ned is born it's like the sun is, too. ned can't leave her and ned will love her for who she is and will not be as bigheaded as gerold. ned adores her in return. in my other post i explained my reasoning behind her betrothal to beric dondarrion, adding to this lord dayne and beric's dad might have been war buddies during the greyjoy rebellion and seen in him and his son people he could trust his sister and heir in case of his death. i don't think allyria seriously loved beric, i don't even think they met more than once or twice, but i do think she was deeply affected by the news of his "death" more for ned than for her being unwed now. she's become too used to be alone.

some made up miscellanea:

i know house jordayne is named for robert jordan the fantasy author but i like to think it's a stark-karstark situation with the daynes.

house dayne of high hermitage was created after davos dayne married nymeria of ny sar as a favor to him and his siblings.

dyanna dayne was also myriah martell's youngest lady and she and maekar fell in love. there was not meant to be another targ-dornish marriage due to the tensions but neither daeron nor myriah could separate them.

i like "fallen and reborn" for their house words bc it's the name of one of the first official visual art i saw of them back in the day. it also goes nicely with the mythical origin of their house.

#ask #anonymous #im sure i forgot something #valyrianscrolls #house dayne #ashara dayne #arthur dayne #allyria dayne #gerold dayne #edric dayne #fallen and reborn #asoiaf

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fangirl-ramblings · 2 years

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Pairing: Charles Smith x GN!reader

Summary: You look in the mirror and hate what you see... luckily Charles sees things differently

Word count: 483

Tags: Just pure fluff (cw. regarding a little bit of body insecurity but Charles comes to the rescue 🥰)

Notes: The lovely @cat-fiction left me a lovely idea in my askbox and while this story isn't exactly what you requested, I hope this will do for now (and I might get round do doing a Javi one for you too 😘)

~* Tumblr Masterlist | Stories on AO3 *~

He Loves Me For Me

You yawned and stretched, feeling the empty space in the bed beside you. They say opposites attract and the same could be said for the same for you and Charles; he always was an early riser and would allow you a few extra moments of precious sleep while he showered.

Reluctantly you dragged yourself out of bed, making your way over to the dressing table and sighing as you looked upon your own reflection - no amount of beauty sleep could help hide those imperfections that stared back at you.

Opening the drawer that contained your makeup, you didn't hear the soft pad of Charles' footsteps, making their way from the bathroom back into the bedroom.

He stopped in the doorway for a moment, taking in the vision of beauty before him. He understood that putting make up was part of your daily routine and you did actually enjoy wearing it, but he would always remind you that when you were alone together he didn't expect you to make a big effort for him and how beautiful he found you whether you had a full face of products or bare faced.

As you pulled back the skin around your eyes, you sighed, causing Charles to come over and place those big strong hands of his on your shoulders.

"What's wrong, my love?" he asked softly, looking at your reflection in the mirror.

Your eyes met his rich, chocolate brown eyes, filled with concern for you. Between that and his gentle touch, you instantly melted.

"You'll think I'm being silly and overreacting but look at these crow's feet forming by my eyes, they make me feel old before my time." He chuckled and smiled as you pointed towards the faint lines on your face. "It's not funny, I hate seeing them," you pouted.

"I quite like them on you… " There was silence in the room as Charles stopped in his tracks once he spotted you glaring at him with a look that could turn a man to stone. In an attempt to soften you up, he squeezed your shoulders and gently kissed your temple, "Just hear me out; each of these lines remind me of every time I've seen you laugh or smile and that just shows that we have had a good life together."

You turned slowly, tears brimming in your eyes as you turned to face him.

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I do, you can keep pointing out "imperfections" simply because you're too hard on yourself but I promise you, I see them nothing but a another reason to fall in love with you all over again"

You knew, deep down, that Charles could never lie to you, but you found yourself looking into his eyes for the truth and you found it staring straight back at you; he loved you for you and nothing could ever change that for him.

#charles smith x reader #rdr2 fanfic #fluff #fangirl writes #you know Charles would do and say anything to make you feel better

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dayseternal-blog · 3 years

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Hi Days! I'm a huge fan of your work and your tumblr blog bc you give so many naruhina fanfic recs and talk about your stories, etc.

To sum it up, you're my favorite person lol, I'm a bit shy so I'm asking this as an anon, but I wanted to tell you something random just because I've always just thought about it and maybe you would agree or comment on it.

Have you ever listened to mitski? If you haven't I recomend you do bc she's amazing, but anyways I was listening to a song of hers called "washing machine heart" and it reminded me of naruhina, like the fic "together you and I" but different you know, like naruto only married hinata because he couldn't have sakura, she was his second option and every time he looked at her he wished and pretended it was Sakura, so Hina tries her hardest to look pretty and try to be the person he wants, always getting saddend by the idea that she isn't the one he wants, she knows his heart will only belong to Sakura. She let's him trample all over her heart and use her because she loves him unconditionally, maybe cry to her on some nights because he longs for Sakura's love that will never come.

I've read so many fanfics and I've never encountered one using this concept, I'd write it myself, but I'm not good at writing, maybe I'm reaching but it could inspire an angst story made by you or just a prompt or idea/concept for anyone to use. The hurt in this could be inmaculate and I bet a good writer could bring everyone to tears if they read a story like this. You don't have to do anything ofc I'll love you either way, I'm not meaning to push you to write a whole story with this concept by any means or to even post this ask, it's just something I made up/ related to this certain song, so I wanted you to see it, perhaps share your opinion or thoughts on it or just think about it. I love pain a lot hahaha bc I'm not a narusaku shipper in any way, I actually dislike the ship a lot.

Thank you for reading this and pls keep up the awesome work!! I'll always be a fan and support you and your spectacular writing❤️❤️

GAH What an awful fic idea you have 💔

“The Ring that Binds” by softwind - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto and Hinata are married. So why is Naruto calling “Sakura” in his sleep?

“Girl No 10″ by meeiwen - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto makes a mistake with a dancer one drunk night. Years later when he meets her again, he begins realizing his perfect life is a lie, but he’s too late to fix it.

And

“Territorial” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated M, High school AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. When Hinata takes advantage of Naruto’s desperation for love, they’re both a little too much for the other to handle.

Are similar to what you have there.

HERE’S MY VERY QUICK AND INCOMPLETE STAB AT YOUR PROMPT IT’S UNEDITED UNREVISED CANON-DIVERGENT AU RATED T FOR LANGUAGE BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT I COULD COME UP WITH 😘 THEY ARE NOT MARRIED BECAUSE I WOULD BE TOO SAD

...

Naruto finally makes it to the Hokage’s office, having had trouble shaking off fangirls on his way. He can immediately tell he’s the last one there, even though it’s the eve of the Rinnegan Festival. Tense expressions greet him, the atmosphere somber.

Sakura whips her attention back to the desk before them. “Rokudaime, with all due respect, I don’t think Naruto belongs on this mission.”

Her behavior has confused him all night. First moving away from him so that Hinata would sit between them at Ichiraku when Hinata could have just sat on the other side of him. Then pushing him to follow Hinata back home. He said aloud that he’d be seeing her later, and that he wanted to catch up with everyone first, but Sakura just glared at him...

She’s been pushing him away, more and more every day, breaking his heart to smaller and smaller pieces...whether knowingly or not, he’s not sure about that, but she’s never rejected him from being her teammate on a mission.

Worried, he meets Kakashi’s gaze.

“I understand your concern, Sakura.” His tone is heavy. His usual careless attitude nowhere in sight. “Call it just my gut-feeling...you’re going to need Naruto’s strength for this mission.”

Hanabi was kidnapped.

Hiashi and Hinata are nowhere to be found.

“What do you mean...?” Naruto finds himself asking. “I just saw her. We just saw her. Not even an hour ago.”

“When Sai reported Hanabi’s kidnapping, believe me, Naruto, we moved to notify her family immediately. Anbu can’t find them.”

“What?” The last memory he has of Hinata abruptly leaving dinner and running off without hardly a word nags at him, inexplicably tightening his chest. “She’s fine. Hinata’s strong. She can take on anybody. No one would dare-”

“Naruto,” Sakura interrupts, her gaze cutting sharp. “She’s nowhere to be found. And as much as you believe that, no one is invincible. Not even Hinata. We need to form a plan, otherwise we’re losing precious time.”

“No one is invincible. Not even Hinata.”

An emptying numbness invades his insides, discomforting slickness muting him.

This isn’t his fault, is it?

What if she needed to tell him something?

She was acting strange at Ichiraku.

Quiet, unusual for her as of recent...

But how was he supposed to notice? Should he have followed after her, like Sakura said? But they were supposed to meet at his apartment later on anyway, so why did she have to come out early like that and ruin the good time he was having? She knows how he hasn’t given up on Sakura.

She knows everything about him. She’s been his rock after Sakura tried to shut him down for good. So how can it be that she’d just disappear? There’s no way.

There’s just no way that she disappeared right after she left...

Hours.

Hours of wandering around in abandoned, desolate, war-stricken villages in god-knows-where, and nothing. No one.

He’s asking for the hundredth time, but he doesn’t care, he’s past the point of desperation, and anxiety-laced tension fills the air. “Taku, you really don’t see anything?!” The Hyuuga they have on their team led them into this godforsaken wasteland.

Taku turns on him aggressively, getting in his face in reaction, and yells, “What about you?? You think I’m not trying my best?! This is my family! Just because you’re Hinata’s boyfriend doesn’t mean you’re any more worried than the rest of us! You don’t sense her??”

No. He doesn’t.

His Sage Mode has never been so useless. In fact, he senses no one besides them in this place, and it’s with terrible unease that he begins to entertain the thought that she’s gone for good.

“There’s no one even here besides us! Nothing! Why’d you take us down here? Where are we even?! How do we get out of here in the first place?!” he argues back.

“Sakura-san was right! You don’t belong on this mission! I don’t know what Hinata-sama could ever see in you, I haven’t seen her smile in months!”

“What do you mean by that?! She smiles all the time! I’ve never seen her act so cheerful in my life!”

“So you fucking know it, too!” Taku glares at him with an incredulous expression. “That she’s just acting!”

“What the hell do you mean by that-”

And he doesn’t know what happened next, but Sai’s grabbing onto Taku and he himself is locked in Shikamaru’s shadow manipulation. Chakra’s sparking off his own hands, while blue embers warp along Taku’s.

“Calm down,” Shikamaru orders both of them. “We’re not getting anywhere if the two of you keep fighting.” He waits for Taku to loosen his stance.

Sai lets go of him.

Taku throws an insulting glare around before sauntering off.

Shikamaru sighs. Hard. “Go cool your head, Naruto.” He retracts his shadow, and Naruto wastes no time walking off in the opposite direction, far from wherever Taku is heading.

Yet Taku’s ridiculous words ring in his head. “That she’s just acting.”

But she said that she’s happy to be with him. That she doesn’t mind that he’s still in love with Sakura. She said that she’s just happy to be with him.

She said that. She did. And she wouldn’t lie to him, right?

She was just acting?

“You’re not going to finish your ramen?” he asked her on their date last month.

“No...” Suddenly, she smiled brightly, something she’s been doing more often ever since he mentioned that he’s always liked how genki Sakura is. “Do you want the rest of mine? I’m dieting.”

He scrunched his eyebrows at her. “Dieting? Why?”

“Well...” She looked thoughtful for a moment before seeming to come to a decision. “Naruto-kun, you like thin girls, right?”

He knew she was talking about Sakura. “...I guess...”

“I want to make you happy,...” she started. She bit her lips for a hesitating moment before continuing, “so I’ve been trying to lose a little weight.”

“Oh.” He didn’t know what to make of that. Unbidden, he looked her over.

“Can you tell?” she asked, her characteristic shyness lowered her lashes, yet she didn’t fidget under his examination, and he could tell how she was trying her best to have that confident persona he admires in his former teammate.

Despite her recent changes in attitude, Hinata’s still been so physically small compared to himself and everyone else. Under her jacket, he couldn’t tell if she looked skinnier or not, and even if she was, he doesn’t think she really needed to be skinnier.

But then she looked up at him with that heavy, hopeful weight in her gaze, and he couldn’t let her down. Not when she’s trying so hard for his approval.

He fibbed easily. “Yeah. You look really good.”

She shined another smile at him that made him feel good. Even if their relationship wasn’t traditional, he could at least still make her happy. He could at least tell her some sweet words and see her sweet smile and-

She was lying.

She wasn’t happy?

He never made her happy?

Then what was the point of any of it?

No, she must have been happy, right?! She said so! She told him so! Many, many times!

After all, he asked her. All of those times he thought she was faking her smile, he asked just to make sure, and she vehemently told him that she was really happy to be with him.

She said he could talk to her about all of it. That she could take on his heartbreak because her feelings were so much bigger than...

“Uzumaki Naruto.”

The unfamiliar voice has him leaping to his feet.

A man as pale as a ghost with piercingly icy eyes is floating down to him on some strange platform. “You’re really as pitiful as I expected.”

“Who the hell are you?!” He readies his stance. He’s not in any mood for games, and he’s ready to let loose some of his stress on this very suspicious character.

“Hinata’s fiance.”

“Hinata?!” Fire races through his veins, heating his feet, and he’s ready to leap at this guy. “Where is she?!”

“With me.”

His heart rate exponentially explodes, beating into his ears, his skin practically bristling. “Let her go,” he demands, and the threat of his words leaks from every pore of his being. “Now.”

The man almost snorts. “What makes you think she wants to see you? You only ever used her, broke her...” His collected expression hardens, and Naruto can sense that he has no intention of releasing her. “I’ll make her happier than you ever could.”

Several thoughts fly too quickly through his mind to properly process any of it, leaving only residual uncertainty and that deepening sense of his culpability in her sudden disappearance. But he doesn’t linger on the unpleasant sensations. “What the fuck do you know?!” And he’s charging at him, a Rasengan heavy in his hand.

The enemy is far more powerful than he appeared, immediately blowing him back with some kind of focused chakra. “Weak, pathetic.”

“GIVE HER BACK!” He replicates himself a dozen times, each of them throwing Rasenshurikens at the man.

Yet more of that strange yellow chakra protects him. He’s unscathed even under his shadow clone onslaught. “No. I gave her a choice, and she came with me. I’m just here to get rid of you, take revenge against you for her sake.”

He hardly comprehends the nonsense spewing out of the enemy’s mouth, and he rallies his clones into close combat, but the man manages to avoid many of the attacks while landing hits of his own.

Clones poofing away only to be replaced by more, frustration and fury starting to blind him into sloppier and sloppier moves.

“I love Hinata. That’s why I deserve her.”

He chokes on his own breath, and in his momentary loss of concentration,...

He’s falling.

------------------------*

aaannnnd that’s as far as I want to go with that. Imagine the rest of the team arriving in time to notice Toneri making his escape toward the sky, and I guess the rest of the story would sort of follow the rest of The Last...Naruto self-reflects a lot in a bundle of depression for a long time and yeah.

...ahhh... I encourage you to write the fic you want to see in the world ❤️

#anon #thank you for thinking i could do your fic idea justice #but in the end 😅 i'm sorry that this is a letdown #i'm not much one for angst you know #who wrote white lilies not me #thank you for laying the praise on thick 🥺 don't know if i'm deserving #thank you for reading!

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meta-squash · 3 years

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Your ADHD procrastination post has really stroke a nerve with me. I've had the same issue for years, but thought it's normal for everyone. Since about a year or so, I've been wondering if I may have an undiagnosed ADHD along diagnosed conditions. If it's not too personal, how else ADHD manifests in you? I hope it's okay to ask. I love hearing women's stories about ADHD because they are much different than the stereotypical image of it...

It’s not too personal! (FYI I go by they/them pronouns, but I am afab; it’s all good though!) Also, this got VERY long, I’m sorry! I’m verbose and have a lot to say, apparently.

So I personally have a weird relationship with ADHD. I was diagnosed with it (or some sort of attention deficit thing) when I was in like 3rd or 4th grade. I was briefly medicated but I think I was on Ritalin (I forget) and my child body couldn’t handle it; I was a zombie during the day and then when it wore off at night I was Evil and freaked out and wanted to fight everything. So I went off it pretty quick and didn’t get medicated after, presumably because my parents thought my ADHD wasn’t bad enough.

The reason they probably thought that is because my brother has Really Bad ADHD. Like, all the classic stereotypical symptoms and characteristics to the extreme: never shuts the fuck up, really damn loud all the time, extremely high energy, can learn pretty much anything in about 5 seconds but can’t actually hang on to an interest really (now that he’s an adult he can, but not as a kid), can’t sit still or pay attention in class, doesn’t finish homework, etc etc. I was able to mask mine and function enough to get through school just riding pretty much on my humanities grades alone. It sucked a lot but I somehow did it. I had an IEP (Individual Education Plan, which is a US school thing for kids with learning disabilities and such that allows for accommodations and assistance in school) but it didn’t do much except I think give me extra time on math tests because of my dyscalculia (I was in Special Ed Math my whole grade school career). My mother is an OT but I also think that (as you said) ADHD in afab people often manifests differently than in amab people, so I guess my parents just didn’t know what to look for and that’s why I never really got the same help as my brother.

I like to jokingly categorize ADHD into two distinct but overlapping types: Fast ADHD and Mush Brain ADHD. Fast ADHD (in my opinion; this may vary from person to person) is the classic stereotype symptoms. Fast ADHD’s focus problem is too much happening all at once. Lots of thoughts and ideas flying by and you get distracted mid-thought with another thought, or your train of thought gets really crazy but is super fast so your reply to someone’s comment might not make much sense to anyone else because they weren’t privy to your brain’s journey, or you go down a focus worm-hole and sit and do One Thing all day and forget to surface for things like food/water/bathroom. Fast ADHD has more energy (though when paired with depression that usually manifests as restlessness or anxiety) and is quicker to pick up new things. Mush Brain ADHD is kind of the opposite. Thoughts take longer, or you think of something and then it almost immediately disappears (for example, scrolling a website, seeing something that you want to google, you scroll for like 5 more seconds and think “wait, I completely forget what I was going to look up”). With Mush Brain ADHD it’s harder to have conversations because thought-to-mouth time is slower, rather than (with Fast Brain) lots of stuff is going on up there. Mush Brain often feels like, well, mush and like you can’t really form thoughts very well if you want to do stuff. It’s like you’re trying to focus on thinking a thought but it just slides away. Another way I’d describe it is having thoughts but it’s like they’re on a blackboard and they’re being erased as you think them, so they end up mostly smears. Obviously, this is just based on my own experiences as a Mush Brain ADHD person while my brother has Fast Brain ADHD, so this might be different for other people.

Both have lots of overlaps: executive dysfunction (that’s the big one), insomnia, auditory processing problems, hyperfixation (which is not a bad thing! I love my hyperfixations! They’re fun!), absolutely crap organizational skills, constantly losing things, really bad perception of time, detachment from the world (like you drift off into your own daydream, or things feel distant, but not quite the same as depersonalization/dissociating), difficulty making choices, sensory processing disorder, crap abilities with money, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and often comorbid mental illnesses like depression, OCD, anxiety, dyscalculia/dyslexia, etc.

Oh, and a lot of ADHD characteristics also overlap with depression characteristics (and a lot of people with ADHD have comorbid depression, so it really doesn’t help).

But I can tell you about my own experiences with some of these.

The Big One which is basically what that schrodingers motivation post is about, is executive dysfunction. People also call it procrastination (it only kind of is) or inertia. Basically, executive dysfunction is where the difficulty lies in starting the task. You want to do something, but you just can’t get going to do it. You get sort of paralyzed. It even happens with things you like. For example, when I made that post, there was a short (just over 100 pgs) book I wanted to read before the end of the day. It’s a good book! It’s on my reading list! I want to read it! But I just sat on my computer and watched dumb youtube videos because that’s what I was already doing and executive dysfunction makes starting tasks really hard. This happens to me a lot. It can happen with reading a book, or getting up to go to the store and buy groceries, or making a meal, or watching a movie. The movie-watching one happens to me a lot. Basically it’s the brain struggling to switch tasks; you’re scrolling tumblr, and that’s what your brain is focused on, and it doesn’t know how to switch from doing that to doing your bio homework or folding the laundry or whatever the task may be. This happens with “bigger” or more complex tasks too, like starting an art project or starting a new book, because your brain has to figure out all the components of that task (I need these items for my project and this amount of time and I need to use them in this order) which is overwhelming, or it needs to comprehend how “big” the task is (how much time/concentration should I try and commit to in order to read this book) which is sometimes hard to gauge. Oh, also this can happen if you’re interrupted in the middle of a task, whether it’s to do another thing or just to answer a question or something; it’s hard to get back to it because it’s another kind of switching tasks. Aside from the blackboard-being-wiped-thoughts, this is my biggest ADHD problem. I can go more into how I dealt with executive dysfunction in college and now if you want!

Auditory processing issues is another thing that I deal with, although to a lesser extent than some people. It just means it’s harder for your brain to process sounds/talking. Part of this, for me, is because if someone is talking to me but there’s other noises (music, other conversations, general loudish ambiance) going on around us, my brain treats them all as equally important and I can’t focus in on the person talking. Another part for me is in my experience I seem to process conversation different from explanation. If I’m talking back and forth with someone about something and it’s not terribly important, I’m fine. If they’re trying to explain something to me, give me instructions, or read a passage of text to me, it just does not stick in my brain. If I’m helping my best friend with her grad school applications, I have to read the sentence she’s asking me check, I can’t have her read it to me. If she does read it to me, I’ve realized that I try to imagine the words as text in my head so I comprehend it better (it doesn’t always work). Auditory processing issues means that a lot of my conversations in public with people who are not my close friends (and therefore easier to pick out from the noise because familiar and/or easier to predict because familiar) are filled with a lot of me going “what?” Retail conversations with customers are slightly easier because there’s at least a mild “script” that they’ll stick to, usually.

Another one I experience is organizational problems. This one was bad enough that I actually went to a tutor-like thing to help me with it for most of grade school. Basically, I had no ability to organize tasks like doing homework or other activities, so things would get forgotten/lost/never even written in the calendar/etc. I couldn’t do projects because I couldn’t (and still kinda can’t) organize far enough into the future. I didn’t know how to break the project down across multiple days or weeks and make it manageable without totally forgetting pieces of it. I’d forget to write down homework when the teacher wrote it on the board, or I’d write it down but forget to do it. Or I’d do it but misplace it or leave it at home. My perception of time was also really crap; I couldn’t read an analogue clock until I was in maybe 6th grade? Even now I sometimes have trouble. It was hard to know how much time I had to allot to certain projects because I didn’t really have good perception of how hours fit in the day and how much time until homework is due and stuff. (Which meant lots of finishing things in class minutes before I had to turn it in and stuff. Once in uni I completely forgot to do an Entire Essay; luckily it wasn’t a class I needed to graduate.)

Along with this is losing EVERYTHING. I misplace things CONSTANTLY. I’ll put something that’s in my hand down to get a cup of tea or something, or even just to like, move a blanket, and I’ll forget where I put it. I’ve solved this problem with Important Things (wallet, phone, and keys always go next to my bed, for example, and rarely move from there if they’re not in my pocket. All important papers go in my Important Papers Folder as soon as soon as possible) but I lose regular stuff all the time. I’ll be working on an art project, I’ll put my glue stick down to reach for a piece of paper, and lose the glue stick in the time it takes to pull the paper towards me. The other day I was brushing my teeth and I put the toothbrush cover down to say hello to the cat and forgot where I had put it down once I had followed her to the next room. When things have a Place it’s easier, but I’ve learned to live with going “Where the FUCK did I put this thing? I had it a second ago!” at least once a day.

The “Mush” in “Mush Brain” is another big one for me. I don’t know if this has, like, a name? Or anything? It’s just what I call it. The best description for it would either be that blackboard description from above, or like you’re struggling to get to a thought through a lot of mud. Oftentimes I’ll have a sort of concept of a thought but not something full, and I know it’s there, but I can’t get to it. This is really apparent when I’m trying to remember a synonym for something, or trying to elaborate on certain concepts or pull ideas from texts. It doesn’t happen all the time. I was an English lit major in uni, so this affected me a lot back then. It’s sort of a similar feeling to reading the same sentence over and over and not registering the words, except it’s in your own brain instead. This kind of goes away for me when I’m writing/typing. Writing this out is easy (minus me forgetting the word executive dysfunction for like 5 minutes) but if you were asking me to explain this aloud I would struggle, probably. This is probably because I can stare at what I’ve written to see what’s missing or edit my thoughts, which I can’t do while I’m speaking, and also can’t do to other people’s interactions with me.

Just a general inability to focus is also one I struggle with. It goes with the “mush brain” to an extent but I think it’s different. It’s more like my brain doesn’t want to, well, focus on anything. If I’m just messing around on my laptop, that means I end up clicking back and forth between tabs endlessly because nothing is holding my interest. If I’m trying to read or do anything “intellectual” or “academic” it means I just can’t get myself to read or I can’t keep my thoughts on what I’m trying to write no matter how hard I try. Nothing holds my interest for long enough, it’s like brain restlessness. I try and concentrate on doing something, watching something, reading something, and my brain just slides away from it.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is something I experience on a more minor level. It’s something that also overlaps with anxiety and depression. Basically, it’s a really intense emotional reaction to (perceived) rejection. For example, if my best friend says something to me with a certain tone or gets mad at me for doing something minor, my brain just goes “She hates you! She doesn’t want to be friends with you! You should isolate in your room and never speak to anyone again because you’re so annoying and terrible!” I know that’s mostly incorrect (although I also know I’m quite annoying and that’s another ADHD characteristic; knowing you’re annoying someone in some way and having no idea how to stop) so I can fight it but sometimes I do end up holing up in my room for a little bit. Things like criticism (whether towards you or towards, like, an essay or something) can also trigger this reaction. So can things like having an expectation that you’ll be good at something, and then failing at it or just not being as good as you’d hoped. (I developed a sort of defense mechanism for this one of never expecting to be good at things and never expect higher than a C in a class.) It also can come with a sense of feeling inferior around people doing similar things. It happens to me a lot here on tumblr, actually, because I’ll write a meta about something, and then read someone else’s good meta on the same thing, and feel like I’m an idiot and they’re really smart and nothing that I wrote was insightful or good. It happened to me in uni a lot too. It also happens to me kind of...secondhand, now. What I mean is, my best friend/roommate is extremely smart. Like genuinely one of the smartest people I know and an incredible thinker, straight A’s at uni in a degree she created, etc. She still gets imposter syndrome herself and feels like she’s not smart, and when she says she’s not smart, I feel bad for her but I also feel really terrible about myself, because if she thinks she’s stupid, then what am I? But again, it’s an overreaction to perceived rejection. It still sucks though.

There’s some evidence that ADHD comes with a whacked out sleep schedule. And not just insomnia (although that too, I know this because it’s 7am and I haven’t slept yet lol), but also Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. Which basically means that most people’s circadian rhythms start slowing down so they’ll go to sleep around like 11pm-1am-ish, give or take. ADHD circadian rhythms are shifted so often we start getting tired around 3am or even 4 or 5am. (This is different from insomnia, btw, with DSPD you can fall asleep fairly easily, you just get tired later in the night; with insomnia it’s an inability to or difficulty in falling asleep quickly.) I always thought I’d just gotten my dad’s night owl genes, but it’s more likely that it’s the ADHD. I also have at least mild insomnia and it takes me a million years to fall asleep a lot of the time.

Hyperfixations are the Fun part of having ADHD (in my opinion). They can get in the way sometimes but they’re also really comforting and nice. Hyperfixations happen when you find an interest and it’s basically all you want to think or talk about, and you relate to the world through it, and you want to learn everything about it. It’s also a characteristic of autism. I’m not autistic, so I don’t know if there are major differences between ADHD hyperfixation experiences and autism ones. Anyway, often hyperfixations stick with you for a good amount of time, depending on the strength, and then you might find something else to focus on. Some of my hyperfixations have lasted a few months, some up to 4 years. A lot of ADHD people rotate through the same or similar ones. For example, a hyperfixation I had back in 2011-2014/15ish was Les Miserables. I then found a different thing to hyperfixate on. This past year I have returned to Les Mis. Hyperfixations are usually pretty cool, because it’s usually something you really like and enjoy learning about or doing and it’s kind of like the thing your brain would rather be doing/focusing on.

Personally, I’ve lived so long without ADHD medication that I’m fairly functional without it just due to coming up with personal adaptations and stuff. The thing that I have the hardest time with/that upsets me the most is the Mush Brain part, which also gets worse when my depression gets worse. I really would love to have clear, quick thoughts whenever I want. It’s frustrating to hold a conversation or try to write creatively and quickly when it takes forever for thoughts to fully crystallize in my brain and then come out my mouth or fingers. Right now I don’t have very good health insurance (all blame to covid layoffs) so I can’t really do the meds thing but I often wish I could. My ADHD is definitely not as intense or severe as some people’s. I have friends, and also my brother, who struggle a lot more than I do, and with different things

Holy hell this was so long. Feel free to message me if you have any questions! Or if you want me to elaborate on some of the things I do to deal with stuff.

#asks #squash rambles #wow i'm so sorry #as an adhd person i know that is a lot of text to read #i'm too verbose for my own disorder lol #seronility #adhd

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mintjamsblog · 5 years

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Hi, I love your Tommy/Alfie stories so much!! You seemed to come out of nowhere and then bam, loads of amazing writing. I'm so pleased you're on Tumblr too so I can ask you all the questions I've been thinking of. So, I just wondered whether you think Tommy has ever slept with another man (or other men?) You never reference it in your fics, so I'm just interested to know what the back story is. Has he always been attracted to men or does he just have eyes for Alfie?

Well, I stalked the fandom for ages, but once I’d devoured all the Tommy/Alfie content I could find I thought I’d better just jump in and add my own! And I have so many feelings about this pair that it’s lovely to indulge them and write what I’d really like to read! It’s so nice to hear that others enjoy it, it really means a lot!!

So...as to your question...basically “how gay is Tommy?” To my mind he has never slept with another man, and here’s a load of ramblings on the general background...

I think he’s probably liked men and had thoughts about men before, because he’s pretty aesthetically aware and he knows what he likes to look at. If a fit man turns up in his pub wearing the right suit, with the right amount of attitude, then it wouldn’t go unnoticed by Tommy.

But he’s never done anything about it, or really even let his mind wander too far down that path, because life is difficult and dangerous enough. And he likes women plenty, so why bother? It’s just never really been an option in the world they live in. Why take the risk when he’s happy enough?

He’s been a total whore in terms of just using women to get off/keep his bed warm/feed his ego. He uses casual sex like he uses whiskey: for a quick kick, or to relax, or forget everything for a bit. Nothing more.

But he’s actually very picky about the sort of person he can form any real attachment to. He has to respect them and think they’re smart or sassy or driven in some way. And there haven't been many people he’s deemed worthy of that attention (Greta and Grace, maybe Lizzie to a lesser extent).

But then Alfie comes along and Tommy is just seriously intrigued. Because he is like no one else Tommy knows; he couldn’t give a fuck about appearances or what he’s supposed to do or say. And that innate confidence and authority and ‘fuck you’ attitude definitely makes Tommy notice. And he’s not stupid, he can see the way Alfie looks at him (and used that to his advantage in the early days of their business relationship). And yes, he may also have allowed his mind to wander, to wonder “what if?” Not that he ever thinks seriously about acting on it. Never.

But then (in my AU) Alfie makes his move when Tommy is at his lowest - after Grace has died and he’s nearly been killed by the priest and he is under the koche from Section D etc etc (my Sideways fic). Tommy’s defences are down and he’s tired of being in control of everything and Alfie just takes things out of his hands, takes some of the power away and Tommy is honestly shocked by how much he likes it, how much he starts to crave it!

And fuck it, Tommy’s protected to a certain extent by his wealth and power now, so maybe he figures the risk is worth taking (in a way that it wasn’t when he was younger). Plus he feels powerless to stop it happening, because Alfie wants him and isn’t going to stop pursuing him and Tommy doesn’t really want him to stop anyway!

And Tommy seriously respects Alfie. They have a lot in common: the war, their intellect, their fucked up moral values. There just aren’t many people he has that amount of respect for or connection with, so to a certain extent it’s irrelevant that Alfie is a man, they just have chemistry. It’s not like Tommy suddenly wants to sleep with loads of men - it’s about this one man. Who just happens to be attractive in a very feral and surprising way.

And sleeping with Alfie isn’t about boosting Tommy’s ego (in the way that women used to). It’s almost the opposite. He sets his ego aside around Alfie.

And so Tommy finds himself letting Alfie into his bed and then into his locked up heart and head (not that Alfie really asks, he kind of hammers his way in, which is why it works).

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 5 years

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1. I am an INTP 5w6 female and I want to know how to meet new people, it didn't bother me before but I had a boyfriend.of 1.5years and I now miss having someone in my life, don't remember exactly what I wrote but I thought I had made a good choice and was really hopeful about that relationship and I tried hard to make it work but I couldn't deal with his bs anymore, I did for a while cause I thought he was worth it, I've been trying to build deeper relationships but didn't care before so imbehnd

2. My ex wasn't extremely manipulative but he lied and hid things from me and got angry when I complained when his stories made no sense, I left We knew each other for so long and I couldn't deal with him not apologizing for his bs and blaming me for what he was doing, I just couldn't justify the relationship even if I still loved him This lead me to believe my strategy was wrong since I thought I knew him and that he was more mature than that, no matter how high the filter this could happen..

3. It's just so disappointing, you know? That people can be such assholes after managing to present themselves as the opposite of that for so long I've never really had close friendships except for my ex, and a few friends (I guess?) I didn't care much for this before since I'm alright on my own, but I found that I really liked having someone, so I'm trying to meet new people now that I'm more or less healing, but idk how to do it, acquaintances used to fall in my lap before but not anymore

4. I'm 23 yo, about to get my degree. I do have a crush on a classmate but when I try to picture us going out it feels awkward and weird since I don't know him very well, I need to know people well before considering dating... I'm just very lost and I feel kind of behind from everyone else since I'm super inexperienced (only that one bf, and it was long distance...) and idk how to correct that at this point. I've been dressing better so people treat me better (haven't noticed, makes sense tho)

5. People do seem to like me well enough but I guess everyone already has their group of friends and is too busy to invite me places often enough that I become part of the core group, but I'm getting there, a bit (I think) I've been going everywhere I've been invited with my classmates lately but they don't really bring anyone new, I've managed to be a step up from acquaintance with a girl friend, which is nice, with older friends the same thing happens, even if we come across their friends...

6. I've always had a hard time fitting in very well, romantically I'd love to have someone at a similar experience level because I feel like I missed out on being a crucial relationship for the other person, but my ex had several gfs before and I didn't care too much then but now I do because afterwards certain things made me feel bad, but I guess I could manage anyway.I also get paranoid when I read what other bs some people manage to do like marrying someone but loving their bestfriend instead

7. I apologize for making it so long but I thought it'd be necessary to give a bit of info on myself and my thoughts, my age, what I've been trying etc I just wanna meet good people at this point in my life and want some tips on how to do that without taking extremely long only for them to be assholes anyways... I think I've managed to make some more acquaintances but I've only clicked with two girls I talk to outside of the classroom when we're not hanging out, gonna focus on them rn-----------------------

(very long response ahead)

I know this is not what you asked nor is it necessarily going to be helpful or relevant but: I would strongly rethink your type. Ti-doms and 5s are both vanishingly unlikely to drop seven asks worth of highly personal and emotionally open information in the inboxes of total strangers.

With regards to the actual question, this is really not an MBTI question (more on this at the end) and not entirely something I’d consider myself an expert on. I very much hope I am not the only person you can go to on this because I personally wouldn’t want me to be my only source of advice on this. With those caveats, see below.

I think Tumblr (and to be fair some forms of media) portray friendships and relationships as an attraction at first sight/immediate connection.

This is fucking stupid.

Because I tie everything back to my personal soapbox causes: this is why I have such disdain for the anti-small talk crowd, or people who think they’re special because they crave a deep, below-the-surface human connection. Nearly everyone wants deep connection. It’s normal and healthy. It’s also an ongoing process that nearly always involves some period of time during which you and the other potential friend are awkward acquaintances who don’t entirely understand each other and have to talk about surface-level things. You can’t speedrun intimacy.

This is particularly true in adulthood. Children do make friends more quickly, but also children are weird and fickle and a friendship can be based on little more than sharing crayons (not to knock that, plenty of great friendships started that way) while adults have a much better sense of who they are and also typically a much more narrow definition of who they want as a friend and all kinds of emotional baggage to boot.

Essentially, if you want a friendship that matches the depth of a relationship of 1.5 years it’s probably going to take close to 1.5 years to get there, and from what you said you’d known each other even longer before the romantic relationship, so add that time too. Which might not be what you want to hear, but it’s important to manage the expectation. Basically all relationships (and by this I mean romantic or platonic) start out with little connection, and you become friends through building that connection, and you can’t really rush it.

I believe in “clicking” in the sense of there being an immediate mutual interest in getting to know each other better, but speaking practically, regardless of the initial chemistry you are still basically intrigued strangers at that point. All clicking does is provide additional motivation for that process of getting to know each other. And speaking from experience, deep friendships in the long term don’t always have an initial “click”. I’ve had relationships that were initially quite intense fade away, and others slowly grow from acquaintanceship into lasting intimate friendship even if we didn’t expect it on first meeting. The myth of clicking is confirmation bias - unless there was a serious fallout, you’ll probably forget the people who you thought you clicked with if it didn’t just work out, and conversely it’s not hard to look back through the lenses of memory and nostalgia and find a single moment when a friendship or love crystalized, even though the reality is that it was merely the tipping point after considerable energy had already been invested on both sides.

In terms of practical advice, finishing up a degree is a uniquely awkward time, especially if all your classmates are in the same boat, because there’s often a mentality of “we’re all going to leave soon, let’s stick with the friendships we have.” Others in your class may not have that motivation to make a close connection, and it sucks but it’s temporary. The good news is that the larger world doesn’t feel that way. It is a bit more difficult to make friends as an adult, just because you’re not spending time with people naturally the same way as you do in school, but meetups and clubs and social organizations all exist for this reason and are explicitly there for people who want to make friends. And again, it’s going to be a slow process. I respect that it’s frustrating having to start from what feels like square one, but it’s unavoidable.

As for dating, you don’t need to do apps if you don’t want to! But you’re right. It’s going to be comparatively inefficient. Particularly if you prefer to date people you already know socially, you’ll have to put in a lot of effort going to social things and building those acquaintanceships over time and you might need to ask someone out face to face. Inexperience is fine. Everyone has to start somewhere. The tradeoff is more that you can’t screen people as well if you’re on apps, and they can be kind of impersonal but you do get to interact with many people quickly on your own terms without having to go outside and with the luxury of being able to think up witty comebacks instead of having to chat in real time.

(I do want to counter the idea that people who use apps are any less deep or anything like that. Some people are comfortable with casual hookups and some aren’t, but many people use apps to set up a date first and see if they have enough of an interest to keep things going. As with all of the above, everything has to start somewhere and if you think of the app as a way to facilitate meeting people, rather than “I must make a romantic connection with this person tonight”, and steer towards dating vs. hookup apps/make it clear you’re looking for long-term relationships, you might have more luck. The point of the first date for most people isn’t to find a partner, though sometimes that happens; it’s to find someone you enjoy enough to go on a second date with and slowly get to know).

One final thought: all this advice applies universally but I actually think considering it in the context of MBTI is more harmful than helpful, or at best misleading. For example, you say that being a 5 you take too long to check if people are safe, which whether or not you actually are a 5 also has absolutely nothing to do with being a 5, and even if you are a 5 and this is a 5 thing, you’re aware of this behavior! You can stop doing that then! MBTI is not destiny!

Regardless of type, no one automatically knows what to say in every situation, no one can read minds, and no one has discovered the secret to always being liked and never being rejected. Type can convey talent or inclination but skill requires time. Extroverts are often better with people because they have to be - they aren’t as okay with just being alone, especially when younger, so they go out and deal with people and through that process learn to make friends. But they weren’t born with it. Sites that favor introverts and/or intuitives are terrible for a lot of reasons but I find they perpetuate the ideas I disagreed with above, that friendships for introverts and intuitives must always be with people who Click and Already Get It. This is wrong and it’s limiting. Obviously don’t pursue a friendship or relationship if you don’t like the person, but don’t write someone off just because you didn’t feel a magical spark right away. That’s not being deep and sensitive - that’s being closed off to new experiences. Anything worth doing involves real-world effort and some amount of risk, and usually it involves patience and time and awkwardness and uncertainty as well.

#mbti #enneagram #long post #aegeanfractal #answered asks

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airakorainies · 5 years

Text

So I saw this neat thing flying around Tumblr of Lightwarden aus so with the help of my friend (he’s a wonderful photographer in game. If you want some good pictures too, just send me ask and I can let him know :3)

[[MORE]]

So! Here’s mine lol

“Mother, I'm so sorry. Please, I beg of you. Forgive me."

She didn't mean for it to happen. How could she stop it? She was a child frozen in fear. Placed into hiding by her dear mother for protection. The young girl peered through the bushes only to see her mother get cut down in front her. Her hand flew towards the bush and landed just outside of it. She was frozen with fear. She couldn't move. Her breathing grew sharp as she watched the enemies run off. Slowly, she reached out a hand and touched her mother's. Snow Tine.

Guilt plays a tune of melancholy in heart. Each death weighed a heavy toll on her heart. Her eyes would droop with tears of pity as she watched one ally after another get cut down in front of her. A hero? She's no hero. She cannot save the ones she loves.

And then it happened. Those thoughts continued to tear apart her mind and heart until she knew she was unstable. Slowly, she crawled her way out into The Empty. If she were to turn, it'd be best to stay out here. Surely, she would not have to cut down her friends if she was alone. So with the little strength she had left, she called upon Feo Ul. She begged the fairy to trap her in a large bubble, cocoon, a large shard, *anything* so that she may not escape. With the wall raised, she turned.

--> The fight. The Frozen Lament Extreme

~~> Snow Tine the Forgiven Guilt <~~

Class: Demented Summoner

Weapon: Book/Ice that forms around specific limbs for specific purposes

Her appearance matches that of the pictures (will post after), except her horns were moved from the side of her eyes to the bridge of her nose. The horns stretched out and covered her eyes. As a way to hide the tears she has constantly shed. The tux also has a much longer coattail that flows outward during the fight cause aESTHETIC.

The field is a lot like Shiva's but it's got more of an open, cave feel to it. There's no walls and it has a dark canyon that seems to surround the field.

+ When pulled, she immediately throws out a cone knock-back called "Icy Front". It's small but if people aren't paying attention at when the fight began, they can be pushed off just over the edge. There'll be enough time in the casting that the group can run far enough to her to avoid the knock-back. *or immune it* She'll announce the beginning of this move with the dialogue "Move! Get out or I'll kill you too!"

--> Players who get knocked off will not be immediately killed. Instead, they spawn with little health into this room. It looks like a thin icy pillar that extends upward, which is assumed to be the stage as it grows larger and larger as it ascends. In the middle is an orb. It will immediately target the players and begin to cast self destruct. Players must 'kill' the orb to keep a wipe from happening. (Killing it doesn't actually do so. It's just like... disabling it for a while so players can travel through the aether back to the top.) But for each player who fell, it gains a defense buff after it is killed. (For later or any other players that fall later as well)

+ The fight continues out per usual. After a few moments from the knockback, she casts an aoe called "Crying Blizzard".

+ The tank buster follows after is called "Cursed Judgement." Places a hefty vuln onto the tank (that doesn't last long at all but will kill if hit by even an auto attack). This forces a tank swap.

And that's where the fun begins >:)

+ "I've lost so many lights. So what's a few more to lose? I couldn't save them anyway." After she speaks this, she begins to cast a three ring aoe called "Lost Lights". It's got a warning maker *idk what they're called lol* that covers the whole field, leaving only two spots open. Two small rings in between the three. However, there is little reaction time before the players' screens go completely black. They have to memorize where the safe spots are at a glance and quickly remember where to move. The cast is quick too so you can't sit there for a moment to rattle your brain. If hit, it drops a 2 minute frostbite on each player and freezes them for 10 seconds.

+ There's another aoe before she turns to the off tank and casts the knockback towards wherever they're standing. Meaning the off tank should be either with the main tank or to the side where people aren't right after the aoe.

+ She then casts another "Lost Lights" but this time, it's different. Two Shards spawn out of any four patterns. (A cross, an x, a zigzag, or a big bulky line.) They do a complete line aoe across the field they've spawned at. There'll be only a couple of permanent safe spots for any of these patterns but that's up to you to find :)

+ She does another tankbuster, another aoe, before she cries. "Forget it! Forget it all! Please! Forgive me!" She raises her hand up and slaps the ground with a large icy wind knocking all players off the stage.

+ It's your pal orbie!

+ But with friends 😄 There are two ice golems that hit like trucks. So tanks have to take them and then take them to opposite sides of the field. *they get a tether when too close that makes them invincible*.

The orb has a sort of protect shield around it making it untargetable. The golems must be defeated and then the orb. It's a relatively quick add phase that should be pretty easy, but if there were at least 4 knocked of players beforehand, butts will be clenched killing the orb as it's casting self destruct.

+ Once the players return she screams once more. Her voice is shaking and it's obvious she's crying. "Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me! FORGIVE ME PLEASE!"

She flies up and summons her book in front of her. A shadow bahambo appears behind her and she begins to cast Teraflare. This is her ultimate 😄 AND the *real* add phase. Shadows of the scions appear on the stage. and each player will be given on of three 'buffs'

- Titan's Terror

Those marked with Titan's Terror must locate the scions with the buff Titan's Triumph and kill them. *players killing the wrong scion places an aoe vuln on everyone. 2 means the ultimate will wipe the party no matter what.*

- Garuda's Gout

Those marked with Garuda's Gout must locate the scions with the buff Garuda's Gift and kill them. However, only two scions are marked with this and it's always the twins. *For the full party only has 8 players.* The twins are easy to kill, but Alphinaud must die first or he'll keep healing the scions. *same with Urianger whether he's marked with titan or ifrit.

- Ifrit's Inability

Those marked with Ifrit's Inability must locate the scions with the buff Ifrit's Interest and kill them.

**The healers will always have the same buff Ifrit's Inability + 1 random dps. For the scions with the buff are not as strong.

Players can either split off and kill each scion individually or those with the same buffs gang up on them one by one.

Whatever way works best for the raid.

There is a time limit. If she hits 100 *she's been drawing in aether from the shadow scions*, she'll cast Teraflare and wipe the party.

If not, the party will receive the buff after all the scions are killed called "Phoniex's Phorgiveness" (xP)

Once she casts the flare, the arena changes. It's all musty yet bright. Large mirrors of the three primal egis are around the arena (just there for show).

The same moves appear. But Lost Light's is different. It has either two new patterns.

One combines the original two and another one has her hitbox as the only safe area. She also will combine other aoes with Lost Lights. Players can get marked with puddles. She could have a lookaway move that if hit, zombifies the player and can cause them to get hit by the lost lights *or damage the other player*

The Lost Light's at this point are instakills.

+ there's one new move now called "Mother's Remorse" One random player besides mt will be targeted with a HUGE aoe marker. They must take it as far away as possible. leaving only a small crescent open. You can eat the damage, but it places a heavy vuln and the aoe after will probably wipe the party. *Which means healers must shield and heal the targeted player for the aoe since they get an automatic vuln*

After a certain allotted time, she has a dialouge box appear. But it only says "*Cries*" Her loud sobs override the music as she begins to slow cast, "Hero's Execution". A big aoe with resemblance to tri-bind, each 'orb' placed in front of the three mirror primals.

At 10%, her dialogue changes. "Is this forgiveness? Please set me free!"

= Her death line, "We meet once again... mother..."

== She drops glamour weapons and a rare mount. Like a nightmare but for the dragons.

•••

{{Thank you all for reading! ^^ hope you enjoyed Snow’s Lightwarden fight}}

#ffxiv #ffxiv lightwarden #snow tine #ffxiv snow tine #ffxiv snow #airako tart #final fantasy xiv #lightwarden #lightwarden tag

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arreisstorm · 5 years

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HAPPY SUGA DAY!

Disclaimer:

****I meant to get this post up on Yoongi's actual birthday but due to Tumblr completely deleting my first draft and having to deal with some crap at work, I haven't really been in my right mind to do so, so unfortunately I wasn't able to get it done in time. Even if it's a little late I hope you guys still enjoy this post!****

So I've been thinking all day what I can say about Min Yoongi that I haven't said already and sadly I'm drawing a blank.

I think everyone knows by now how, underneath that hard and standoff-ish exterior, Yoongi is truly one of the sweetest, most caring members in BTS.

He may be the designated "grandpa" but he can give Jin a run for his money as the "mom" of the group with the way he dotes on every single member in his own way. So instead of me doing a long winded post that loses it train of thought a million times I think I'll expand on how much Yoongi truly loves his brothers:

▪JIN

So when it comes to the relationship these two share, "opposites attract" is the best way I could describe it. While one is outgoing and loud, the other is more reserved and quiet. This duo loves to annoy each other and you can see that every time Jin cracks a face-palm inducing dad joke, and vice versa whenever Yoongi makes fun of Jin for his "old" age. I mean it's obvious to ARMY by now how extra Jin can be at times, but even through all the cringe-worthy moments and second-hand embarrassment, at the end of the day, Yoongi still has great appreciation and respect for him.

▪JIMIN

Like Jin and Yoongi, Jimin and Yoongi are also quite opposites when it comes to their outlook on life. Where Jimin sees positivity, Yoongi is more about realism. It's not that he doesn't want to see the world as a happy place, but he also doesn't want to be blind to the truth either. That's why these two work so well together, one is the lifts the other up while the other protects them from harm.

▪TAEHYUNG

It's no secret that Tae marches to the beat of his own drum, but it is because of this fact that Yoongi finds him so endearing. During an episode of BV the two were partnered up to spend time together and even when everyone else said they would never agree on anything, Yoongi had the perfect solution. He cares a lot for Tae and he knows how hard the past few years have been for him after losing precious loved ones, so he's kind of been the one looking out for him behind the scenes.

▪JUNGKOOK

When it comes to emotional vulnerability, I would say Kookie and Yoongi are two peas in a pod. Neither one chooses to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but on the rare occassions when they do, you can guarantee you will find yourself crying along with them. There's a lot of pressure and uncertainty that goes alongside being the maknae of the group, and even more so when you're the golden maknae, and that's why I think Yoongi has taken it upon himself to help shoulder those burdens by taking care of him. Whether it's sticking up for him, encouraging him, or simply offering to buy him a proper meal, Yoongi has always been a great hyung to Kookie. And who could forget the iconic moment of "Friendship is Irish Bomb"? Haha

▪HOSEOK

Ok, so there's a lot with this relationship. We have day meets night, dark meets light, and cynicism meets positivity. These two contrast so much but still connect on the same level in countless other ways. Both are 2/3 that form one of the best raplines I've ever seen. Both are very passionate about what they do (J-Hope: dance, Yoongi: music) and they have worked their butts off to reached the point they're at now. Because Yoongi is such a realist, he is constantly overwhelmed with the state of the world, and he desperately needs to see the happier side that he might be missing...that's where Hobi comes in. There's a reason he was given the nickname he was given, he provides everyone around him with hope and happiness when they need it most, and that especially applies to Yoongi.

When you constantly find yourself in the limelight it can be hard not to lose yourself within it. You might even forget your sense of self and instead be reduced to nothing more than a preconception told from a cameras perspective; that's when friends are the best cure, and Hobi just so happens to be that friend. These two are important for one another because whenever they're together it seems to be nothing but laughs and genuine smiles. They are carefree and able to be themselves around each other. To have that sense of freedom is probably a rare occasion for BTS in general, but even more so for the one who's know to be the "cold-hearted" and I'm happy he can find it with Hobi.

▪NAMJOON

Finally we have these two: Namjoon and Yoongi.

I've decided to save this one for last because to me they have a bond that completely differs from all others previously mentioned. These two have known each other the longest, have lived together the longest, and have seen each other at their worst points. Before debuting these two would fight constantly, both due to genuine disagreements, and also because of the countless hardships and pressure they had thrown at them. They have grown with each other and have been there to strengthen each other every step of the way.

Yoongi might not be one to express his feelings so openly, but every time I see the clip of him crying with Joon after receiving their first MAMA award It's obvious how much he does care and how much this all means to him.

To be honest, Yoongi never fails to show his love and support whenever his brothers are feeling down, and that especially goes for Joon. With him being the leader of BTS there is so much added pressure and expectations to live up to that it can be overwhelming, and on top of all of it, being the designated translator, writing and producing most of BTS' songs, and also trying to learn the choreography to go along with said song can seem next to impossible; Yoongi sees these struggles and he does all he can to help lessen the weight.

These two honestly do share one of the most profound bonds and I believe nothing could severe it completely. They might still have their fights, I mean they're human, it's bound to happen, but the respect and admiration they have for one another wins out every time.

As much as they love each other, these two also love to screw with each other too. Yoongi constantly makes fun of Joon for his clumsiness and Joon makes fun of Yoongi for his laziness, but in the end these two wouldn't be who they are without the other.

Yoongi once said in an interview that Joon is one of his favorite people he's ever met and if he had to pick a person to spend his last day with he would pick him. Then Joon in a different interview mentioned how Yoongi is basically his mirror and he takes care of the thing that Joon is unable to. These two compliment each other so well, and musically speaking, their backgrounds come from very similar places that they just know how the other runs. If Hobi allows Yoongi to act himself and to let loose physically, then Joon is his emotional release. They know how to have those deep heart-to-heart conversation without worrying what the other might think. Yoongi is able to use his words and is able to open up to Joon about any doubts, fear, or anxiety he might be struggling with, as well as using them to provide Joon with the assurance he needs that he is doing a good job as the leader; and in return, Joon gives Yoongi that sense of comfort and stability whenever he needs it.

Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon.

Yoonie and Joonie.

Suga and RM.

AGUST D and Rap Monster.

Lil Meow Meow and Killer Dimples.

These boys are one in the same: two overall geniuses who started as underground rappers possessing skills of insane flow and destructive lyrics, then forced to become idols, who eventually helped redefined what idols are, and now are global superstars that have created the golden rapline (with Hobi), are living their wildest dreams yet still remain humble, as well as unapologetic about incorporation crucial social topics into their songs.

There's a reason these two get along so well and that's because of years of being around each other, having the same deep, philosophical thought process, and knowing that hard work, sleepless nights, and finding growth within personal struggles are what it takes to reach your ultimate goal.

The point is, if you're still with me that is haha, is that Suga tends to have this reputation that he is cold-hearted and aloof when it comes to the rest of the members, but honestly who wouldn't be exhausted and not wanting to participate in different events after having not slept for days on end and pouring their blood, sweat, tears (not intentional btw) into their creations?! Suga is one of the hardest working, passionate, individuals out there and if he didn't sacrifice so much for us, far beyond what this post can tell you, then BTS would not exist the way we know it now. It because he is willing to put his own health and well-being on hold --despite ARMY and the boys wishes-- and take on this almost altruistic behavior that I have so much respect and admiration for Yoongi. And anyone who says that this man is cold or that he hates his members...Have you not seen this man's precious, gummy smile when he's having the time of his life with his favorite people? There's a reason he chose to call himself "Suga" and that's because underneath that hard outer shell, deep down Min Yoongi is nothing but pure sweetness who isn't afraid to dream big and wants to see those he loves succeed to their fullest potential.

He is our resident grandpa, a musical genuis, and can spit fire while roasting people with the highest level of savageness you can achieve. He is the 2nd oldest, the hyung who tends to show his love when the cameras aren't rolling, and he is the backbone of BTS who slaves away in the recording studio to produce these insane tracks we all love so much. He is the only one that I've noticed who mirrors and compliments Namjoon's own thoughts and feelings and he is a huge reason why BTS has been so successful like they are.

We love you

Min Yoongi

Suga

AGUST D

Lil Meow Meow

Grandpa Yoongs

I hope you had a great birthday and thank you for everything you have done for BTS in the past, everything you're doing in the present, and everything you will do in the future. You are one of my biggest inspirations and I wish you all the best!

화이팅! 💜

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