#tumblr did everything in its power to stop me from posting it

[gryphis-eyes]

⊙ ἀγάπη

" Unable to perceive the shape of You, I find You all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with Your love, It humbles my heart, For You are everywhere. "

⊙ Welcome to this Shape of Water love reading, yes I finaly took my balls and make a love pac hehehe this reading isn’t truly a prediction its more of an assumption about what your ideal partner would be based on your present self but you can technically see this reading as a way to confirm who your next partner would be y’know. It was supposed to be longer but I decided to do it chill since im still a bit rusted lol but I really miss being active on tumblr. For more explaination, the ”core card” is found by additioning the numbers of the cards you picked with Lenormand, for me its a card that show the core/hidden part of a reading but you can use this method in other ways.

◇ Deck used : Rider Waite (only court cards), Lenormand

Masterlist ⊙

 

🜄 Pile 1  

♤ Key, book, ship 【core : coffin】

Court card : king of cups

They seem like someone who’s heart and mind are often clashing but despite it they are quite emotional intelligent, by this I mean that they might be very emotional by nature but they did learn to manage their emotions OR they take an intellectual approach to their feelings, is it a good thing or not ? Well its up to them because this kind of behavior can become toxic for themselves but i got a lot of cards who refer to them being very intelligent. They probably follow a specific philosophy or are into litterature in general, there is this dark academia vibe to them. Very hardworking, full of knowledge but never got enough at the same time, they got bof ”personal intelligence” and academic intelligence, talking to them about various subject must be a great experience for sure. Their intelligence and serious aspect make them quite sensual people might often look at them even if they dont seem to care about other’s look they seem introverted to me. Its like if someone stopped them to compliments them they would be a bit awkward like ”uh? Thank you I guess?”. Very INTP vibe. To be honest I was persuaded that I'll pick the King of Swords to them because of their vibe but not, its the King of cups with the Coffin as the core card so we got someone who have a cold exterior and keep their good side to themselves and to a very close group of people. They have been through tuff situation in their life, would I dare say that they might have experienced depression ? I see them as a melancholic King of cups, imagine an King alone on a cliff looking at the sea, so many thoughts are passing by from a strange theory about a myth to a sad realisation that they are indeed, a hopeless lover. Seems like someone needs to go under that shell to see their true self and heart (but not in a savior way, y’know).

🜄 Pile 2  

♤ Mouse, whip, house, 【core ; whip】

Court card : queen of pentacles

Your ideal partner seem to be... interesting for sure, when I took the first cards I was a bit worried but the last one put the pieces togheter. Basically you got someone who ready to risk it all just to have a quiet and comfy life in their house (the house can also symbolise your relationship), listen to Faith from Karen Aoki the lyrics match them but most importantly for the one who get the reference from where the song come from you might understand the reading in a quite twisted way haha. The character who’s listening to this song is a pretty bad person with a very clean and kind exterior. Of course im not saying that your ideal partner is 100% this character but they remind me of him because he goes as far as killing people to have his quiet life but your reading is LESS extreme haha it just reminded me of him a lot in a softer way. Your ideal partner might even had broken many hearts because they know what they worth and what they want in life and in love, probably even in work and we got an other hopeless lover. They are so focused on perfection that sadly, they became pessimistic wether its because things are too slow, they are faaar from their ideal life or just sometimes they ask themselves if they are good enough or ask for too much in the end but it doesn’t last long since they will quickly get a reminder to not make the bar lower. However when they finally get something wether its a person an animal or an object they take extremely good care of ”it” they are very nurturing and caring, probably got a sweet voice (and touch ?). Once they settle its for the long run, I get something  that they might need a reminder of not being too possessive with their partner because of course a partner is an other human being you can’t predict everything they would do, its the sad truth even the most loving wife can turn into a backstaber (that’s an exemple of course) they are probably terrified of the idea of being cheated on. Especially since they seek their ideal life it probably attract people with the intention to take and disappear. They need a big hug if you want my opinion they probably got some hard time with family and people while growing up. They need love and they know it.

🜄 Pile 3

♤ Sun, cross, Fox, 【core ; bouquet】

Court card ; King of wands

Alright you got the incarnation of the sun here, a golden person ! Very charismatic (and they know it) they make the room light up and when they smile the world is illuminated (I'll stop give it to their ego now). Your ideal partner’s personality remind me of Giorno from jjba. The big light of the sun is balanced by the cross and the fox who add some shade in a good way. Life have been hard on them and so they had to be a fox to survive, sneak their way into situation maybe even got to have jobs that they hated just to get enough money to escape their nasty place. Despite still having a hard time in life they keep up and seem to be always in all of their glory, they are a true born leader and dont mess around. I think if you try to trick them you'll fall from high ground since they are used to hardship nothing can stop them and their heart of gold will always feed their inner flame ! Like the sun they shine bright but alone, despite being great leaders they also do well alone and seem to value those hermit period. People might always say that they are about to fail or that their situation look doomed but you know what ? Even if its need to have some failed attempt they always end up wining,  like I said they are very determined and probably stubborn about their goal. Its someone that you can trust. They got the vibe of the movie Fantastic Mr.Fox, maybe they put a lot of effort into being impressive for ”the public”? Like if someone tell them they can’t do something they will be like ”oh really?” and end up doing this thing better than necessary. Its nice, its amazing but they need some rest and to stop feeling the need to show off all the time haha they know their limit and their worth so they know how to chose their battles, simply because of those things it look like they are always wining.

#tumblr did everything in its power to stop me from posting it #pick a card #gryphis #pick a pile #love pick a card #ideal partner

[volinare]

It's kinda like before anti-psycotics I experienced my innerworld, my subconscious, the observable world, and other people innerworlds all on top of each other. They mixed together and when information was missing it was hard to tell as it was all so messy.

All those realities still exist, and they still exist all at the same time. Now, they are all the same world, instead of layered realities. Delusions no longer exist in bubbles that I get stuck in but as a part of the world that contradicts or doesn't contradict other parts.

The world is like nothing else. I'm still depressed, suicidal, and delusional. But now I can like sorta feed my self and keep my body clean. I had all the tools before to do so, but my entire life I couldn't keep up and I never knew why. I thought maybe trauma and autism, those still play a part but like literally my life is just. Exactly the same but I shower and pick up things I don't want to step on off the floor.

My self awareness too. It's always been a struggle for me to understand how I'm perceived. I'm constantly, as I think most people do, reflecting, making changes, and grieving. But now progress is more satisfying. I can make plans that have more moving parts and understand situations without that sliding reality feeling. Even if my actual follow through is the same.

I dissociate a lot still

I tend to react well to medications and antipsychotics are nothing to mess around with. But I but a lot of thought (I was lucky to be able to) into starting them and the results just. They weren't what I was expecting. Like, I expected them to work, but like. like look at this I wrote this long silly post that stays on topic and moves between subtopics. I didn't even plan that. My thoughts are just. Literally organized. And I was able to write in an organic way before my delusions got worse last year, but it still wasn't like this and I wasn't always able to.

#mania and alters make the whole thing hard to work out #also have WAY less intrusive thoughts now and im able to walk my self away from 'evil' thoughts #amd comunication is better with my system!!! #well some parts other are like woosh #theres a few alters who came out of dormancy too because I guess the delusions got too intense when i was 20 or so. #POV: u can now make long posts like all your fav DID blogs because you can write in a straight line now. #im gonna read this to my therapist and im going to make him clap at the end because therapy makes me go mad with power #im going everyother week now o-o #i think i could actually have a routine now. omg does this mean i get to ax murder all the doctors that didnt believe m #me when i said i couldn't keep a routine? #what about the ones that didnt believe that i was experiencing delusions? idk why. I guess I was too articulate still? #i had one therapist tell me i was in the arly stages of schitzoaffective #tried some antipsycotic for a week and they made my corner of the eye halusinations worse! so I stopped them #then everything got worse a little over a year ago and i was like #Its just so funny I feel like Im staring at everyone on tumblr with big huge eyes now like 0_0 -_- 0_0 #i dont even know how that is related but that how i feel #i thought my inability to write was because i was embarrassed from the truman show!! literally #and im still embarrassed sometimes but #and im sure this is a little difficult to read but its stream of consciousness and like #duuuuude like you know

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

My Top 10 Fics Of 2023

So, because it is the 'wrapped' time of year where everyone looks back on their year through playlists and other types of stats - I thought that I would look back on my year through something completely nonobjective and based on exactly 0 data - my favourite fics I have written this year that are based completely on my personal enjoyment of them.

Last year, I did something similar to this where I counted down the top ten fics based completely on data - how many notes each fic had gotten on tumblr. But most of the posts were shorter fics that I hadn't spent a lot of time working on that I wasn't very proud of. (Like the fact that my current most popular fanfic on my sideblog for fanfiction is the shortest in word count.) So I have decided to go over the fics that are the most popular in my heart - countdown style.

This year I have written 39 different fics and I have written over 395,000 words, and these are my favourite fics that I have written.

Honorable Mentions:

Black Suit - Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader (2,900 words). One of the most well-rounded fics I have written in such a short word count. And just - look at her.

My Bleeding Heart - Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (3,400 words). I have never used Death Eaters as the basis for angst in a fic and I had so much fun with it. Plus the kidfic fluff at the end was really fun too.

IFHY (I Fucking Hate You) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (8,100 words). So @holy-minseok made a post about how there isn't enough fics with reader characters that aren't nice and sweet and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Because I have so many fics with rude, toxic readers and this is absolutely one of them. This reader is a Grade A Bitch and that's a huge reason why I had so much fun writing it.

Better Than Sleeping - Jason Todd x Fem!Reader (5,300 words). This is some of the best quality smut I have written this year, hands down.

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (8,200 words). I love writing fics based on specific episodes of a show, and this definitely helped to fulfil my whump quota for the year.

Sweet Revenge - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (16,200 words). This is a fic that definitely converted me from a hardcore Abby girl into an Ellie girl. I am very proud of it. (And eventually I became an EllAbs girl, as god intended.)

Free Use Day - Poly!OG!Titans x Fem!Reader (14,300 words). This is probably my most epic and honorable of the honorable mentions. This is the first time in years that I have written such a long pwp, and it's written about some of my ult favs. So I fucking love it. (It came so, so close to making the top ten.)

(Now, onto the top ten.)

The Top Ten:

10. Dreaming Of You - Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Reader (31,300 words)

You and Gar have been best friends for a long time. Nothing could disrupt the harmony of such a perfect friendship. Nothing except maybe… your usually predictable powers going haywire and somehow showing you all of his heated daydreams about you. But he couldn’t possibly have romantic feelings for you. He couldn’t possibly want anything more than your close platonic friendship and the occasional steamy fantasy. Right? Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Smut and (Slight) Angst. Set during Season 2.

At first I wasn't even sure if I should put this one on the list, because it's technically a re-post, but I was like fuck it, I make the rules here. And the reason it's at 10 is because technically I wrote most of this in 2021 originally (though it feels like longer ago than that omg), but this year I heavily updated the fic, including writing some new scenes for it that flesh it out very nicely. To me, this is everything a good re-post should be. It cleans up what was already there and amazing about the fic and it enhances it so much.

I loved the concept of this fic from its core, and now I get to be so, so proud of the way I have enhanced it years later. To me, this will always be my core Gar fic (as much as I will always write more for him) - and it is something I am truly, genuinely proud of. If you love Gar and you love smutty fantasies involving him, I highly recommend checking this fic out.

9. No Brainer - Derek Cho x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Mayhem (2017)) (7,100 words)

When the ID-7 Virus, aka the Red Eye Virus hits Towers and Smythe Consulting, it throws the entire office building into chaos. With a mandatory quarantine from the CDC in action, that chaos builds in on itself, and somehow, you, Derek, and Melanie get everything that you want. aka You have something Derek and Melanie need. Derek and Melanie have something you want. You all agree to make an exchange, and everyone ends up more than happy. Derek Cho (Steven Yeun) x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Samara Weaving). Co-Works to Lovers. Smut. Based on the film Mayhem from 2017.

This is one of my personal favourite fics of mine that I believe very few people following me have ever read. I absolutely love writing fics based on random one-off horror movies - I have way more in my drafts, and one of my goals for 2024 is to complete and post more of them. But one night I was laying in bed and I randomly watched this film because I knew Steven Yeun was in it. I had seen a lot of clips of him covered in blood and yelling, and I found him really hot in those clips, so I knew that I would enjoy the film. And I absolutely fucking did. Not just based on his hotness, but just - the entire film was so, so enjoyable.

Also, the ID-7 Virus, a fictional sickness that lowers your inhibitions (something that is shown in the film to work like sex pollen) is the perfect basis for a fic. So I literally started writing this on my phone before I had even finished watching the film. And I posted it a few days later. I think it's just pure fun. One of my favourite things to write about is a healthy combination of horror and sex, and this is definitely toeing the line perfectly in my opinion. If you haven't seen the film, I highly recommend it - watch it, and then come back and read this fic.

8. My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (9,600 words)

Ellie confronts your abuser, and after years of torment, you finally feel free. Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Hurt and Comfort.

This is a fic that is very close to my heart. Not only is named after a tragically underrated Fall Out Boy B-Side, one of my favourite songs ever, but it is a fic about conquering the abuse of a family member - and when I wrote this, it was coming from a place of the utmost sincerity.

I am someone who has experienced abuse from a family member, and it felt so entirely empowering to write this - to write about someone coming to your rescue so honestly. Someone rescuing you out of pure want, not because it's an obligation or a burden. But because they are compelled by their own morals and they feel that your abuse is a cruel injustice against the world. This and the companion fic I wrote for Abby with a similar storyline are two of the most important fics that I have written this year.

7. Ghosting - Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader (3,700 words)

Mike has been in love with you for as long as he can remember. For about as long as the two of you have been best friends. He always thought he would have more time to work up to confessing those big, dangerous feelings for you - until something more dangerous swooped in and stole any time he had left with you. Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader. Star-Crossed Lovers. Pure Angst. Set during the events of the movie (and features spoilers for the plot).

I feel like this list would be incomplete if I didn't pick at least one of the FNAF fics that I wrote (and two of them ended up on here). With how much it was delayed, it was actually wild to see the FNAF Movie actually come to life before our very eyes, and it was amazing to actually write some fics about it. This is the first time (in a very long time) that I have written pure angst with no sense of fluff at the ending, and it was actually so much fun - it's fun to give into the darker side of a fic, and to write about the most torturous human emotions with absolutely no relief.

Also, I think dying in someone's arms (especially holding your lover or your would-be lover) is such a compelling trope and I loved writing about it. This was so much fun for me to write, and it was something so interesting to explore aside from the usual smut that I write.

6. From Your Lips - Jennifer Jareau x GN!Reader (3,000 words)

After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankle farm, everyone is busy worrying about Reid’s missing status, but you take the time to check on JJ and try your best to calm her flustered mind. Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader. Friends with Benefits. Smut and Angst. Set during Season 2, Episode 15.

This year, I had another large foray into the Criminal Minds fandom, and I wrote a JJ fic for the first time. And just in general, I am so proud of this fic. I think even for a short fic, it has such a great essence - again, I love setting fics during specific episodes, and I found it so fun to play around with the religious imagery and the religious themes already in this episode, as well as the imagery of rabid dogs.

To me, this is what truly makes fanfiction great - taking details of the canon, chewing them up like bubblegum and then adding something else in to make them your own. I had so much fun writing this fic, 10/10.

5. Love From The Other Side (aka The Golf Club Fic) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (5,600 words)

Abby kills the man that has been haunting your nightmares for years. You find it only fitting to give her a proper reward. Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. Set during The Last of Us Part II. (aka - the fic where Abby fucks the reader's pussy with the golf club that she used to kill Joel.)

So, as you will notice with this fic and the next one, 2023 was the year I truly said fuck it. There used to be a time when I was afraid to admit my weirder kinks and fantasies (like, I used to be afraid to even say that I read A/B/O), but then I realized that this is the freak-nasty website. And way too many people are shy. So I must be the one to provide the freak-nasty fics.

This is a fic I had in mind since the very first time I watched TLOU2 gameplay. And originally, it was going to be a simple, purely pornopraphic fic about Abby fucking the reader with the golf club - but as I was writing it, it turned into something that I find oddly beautiful. And (again, just like with the next fic) I find that writing about kinks in long-term relationships, especially the kind of relationships that have come to be co-dependent - it's like writing this toxic, cathartic poetry.

It's writing about two people who need each other but can be so horrible for each other - and it is one of my favourite things to write about because it's so damn interesting. This was a slay, and generally awesome because it was getting out an idea that's been in my head for years.

4. Damn The Man, Save The Empire - Vanessa Shelly x GN!Reader (6,100 words)

Vanessa has always taken care of you. Since the two of you were kids, she has put her neck on the line for you, and you rarely knew how to return that epic kindness. One night, while both of you are raw and on-edge, the dark cloud of your strange past looming over both of you nearly swallows both of you whole - and once again, Vanessa is right there, taking care of you. (Dark)Dom!Vanessa Shelly x Sub!Gender Neutral Reader. Toxic Co-Dependent Relationship. Smut and Angst. Takes place before the main timeline of the film (features spoilers for the movie).

Again, like I said with the previous fic - this was one of my favourite fics to write because it is so delightfully unhinged. I really enjoy exploring toxic relationships through fiction because - for one, writing healthy, functioning relationships is not always interesting. And there is something so beautifully dark and poetic about writing two people who have grown into each other like twisted tree branches and need each other, but are so bad for each other.

And this year I have been exploring gender neutral smut a lot more. I used to always write fem reader smut as my default, but I have been having a lot of fun with the creativity of writing smut without describing the reader's body in detail. I love coming up with metaphors and describing around the body parts. I find it to be a fun creative challenge. Anyway - this was a lot of fun to write, and I highly recommend it if you enjoy reading darker fics.

3. Lessons For A Genius (Lesson One) - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (17,200 words)

What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot.  And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on.  Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.

I feel like it would be a miss to make this list without mentioning a fic that I obsessed over for two weeks straight - a fic that drove me insane in the best way. Of course, there is also the sequel, but I personally prefer the first lesson. This fic has been brewing in my mind for a very long time, because it is painfully obvious to me that Spencer (in the early seasons) is an awkward virgin, and I have always wanted to ruin him.

This fic is a lot of my fantasies brought to life, and I feel like it's a really masterful painting of those fantasies - for once, without overly focusing on the murder mystery aspect of Criminal Minds fanfiction (which I have a tendency to get distracted by). I am really, really proud of this fic, and I know you guys enjoyed it. It is definitely a highlight of my writing this year.

2. Emergency Contact - Jason Todd x GN!Reader (10,500 words)

After Jason miraculously comes home from his brush with Deathstroke, you’re both feeling it in very different ways. You have an unexpected physical wound from the battle, and he has many (very expected) emotional wounds. You help each other heal. Even if it’s very stubborn on both your parts. Jason Todd x GN!Powered!Reader. Enemies/FWB to Lovers. Angst and Hurt/Comfort. (Slight Smut). Set during Season 2, Episode 5.

This is a fic I have talked about a lot recently, because I have been working on the sequel. (I was hoping to get the sequel finished and posted before the end of December, but it's gonna be a longer fic, so it's looking like it's gonna be one of the first fics of January instead.) Anyway - to me, this is by far one of my best fics and one of my most important fics of 2023. This was battling for the top spot.

But even if it's second place, I am so incredibly proud of this fic. I think it's beautifully written, I am incredibly proud of the literary references I worked in with The Great Gatsby - especially because I feel like Jason would be the type to read Gatsby and compare himself to someone tragic and doomed like Gatsby (he would soo compare himself to Gatsby, especially because he was also a poor kid who was randomly sponsored by a rich man who saw potential in him). Overall, I just had a very distinct vision when writing the fic, and that vision came to life. And I really, really hope that my vision comes to life in the sequel too.

1. King For A Day - Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (22,400 words) 

You have always had a special relationship with Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and the one and only Harry Potter. When you set out to help them find and destroy Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes, it seems that your intimate knowledge of them is the one thing keeping them together - until the unique dynamic shifts, thanks to one of those pesky pieces of dark magic. Angry voices carry, and it turns out - moans of pleasure do too. Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (Fem!Reader x Harry Potter x Ron Weasley x Hermione Granger). FWB to Poly Lovers. Smut (with a slight bit of Angst). Set during Deathly Hallows.

And finally, we get to my favourite fic of the year!!

So, I'm gonna be honest, a huge reason that this fic gets the top slot is because of my nostalgia for Harry Potter. This year was the first time in a long time that I have written Harry Potter fanfiction, and it felt like a reawakening of my soul. I was genuinely happy, and I was spending time enjoying concepts and characters that I have not thought about for a long time.

This fic in particular, I feel like I have been working on it for years in my mind. This fic is a culmination of all my thoughts about these characters, all my time in the Harry Potter fandom, and generally, I am so, so proud of it. I am proud that my love for Harry Potter has come to fruition in this form - a poly smut fic, something that is just so me.

Overall - I had such a great year chasing fic ideas that make me happy, despite the popularity of the characters or the fandoms, and I encourage you guys to spend 2024 doing the same. Cheers!

#sundrop speaks #fanfiction #gar logan x reader #emily prentiss x reader #draco malfoy x reader #abby anderson x reader #jason todd x reader #ellie williams x reader #spencer reid x reader #mike schmidt x reader #jennifer jareau x reader #vanessa shelly x reader

[youalreadyhavefullresults]

the mindset journey

So hi.

My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.

TLDR:

Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.

Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?

It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.

Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)

Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.

Revision is so powerful, use it.

It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.

And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33

I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.

The Initial Mindset:

I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.

The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.

When Everything Changed:

I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.

For example,

“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”

Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.

“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”

I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.

“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”

First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.

“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”

Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.

“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”

Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.

“Can I manifest-”

Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.

“But-but, what if-”

Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?

I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.

How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!

-cinna

#self concept #motivation #loa #law of assumption #manifestation #subconscious #success story #mine #mindset #neville goddard #manifesting #loassumption #law of manifestation

[wildpeachfarm]

This was hours ago but it's only just popped up on my dash for me but Rue bothers me so much (in reference to one of your anons discussing her)

Her initial post, after Dream posted a response that made me tear up as someone who's been in an abusive relationship, cut to her saying we don't want you here. Meanwhile she offered no words of support of her own (that I can remember, and if she did its been overshadowed by everything she's said and done since)

Meanwhile his post was the most powerful of any of the ones people made. Someone with a huge platform standing hand in hand with someone and offering such genuine words. And all she could say was get your brownie points somewhere else

Theres a tumblr post floating around how we need to stop caring if people's good actions are done for the right reasons cause if we police that, we'll see less good in the world and Rue sums that up perfectly

I don't care if *you* don't want Dream there, *I* do. I don't speak for Shubble, but between Shubble and Dream's posts after Wilbur's response I damn well near cried cause they hit so close to home. They were both the words of victims, spoken from a place of solidarity and pain. Rue essentially added nothing to the conversation but freaking people out. What she contributed too was a week of unnecessary pain and triggering people and causing a mass exodus and in the end only hurt caiti. Rue claims to speak for victims but she's part of the group of people that have made everything worse. She was reactionary and her actions didn't bring a single good thing to anyone

And again, beating the point to death about how she had more to say about George than Wilbur

It comes off as clout chasing and disingenuous. Sure, George fucked up. But it seems to have been a genuinely mistake vs Wilbur's very deliberate abuse and it's gross to paint the two scenarios with the same brush. I hope she's able to get help after whatever she experienced with wilbur, and I hope through time and reflection she's able to acknowledge her own wrongdoings

But as it stands right now, Rue clearly can't handle having a platform and she needs to go offline for a while. She is part of a problem whether she acknowledges it or not and something has to give sooner or later

honestly i have nothing to add to this you said it very well anon!

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

[tinystepsforward]

i've still been keeping tabs on what's happening at automattic. a couple of things i've observed:

toni schneider (who is a man btw), the interim ceo, has been quite open with staff in ways that mean they generally seem relieved to have him leading the company for now. i've heard people speak optimistically about him from all parts of the spectrum (by which i mean: staff who are trans tumblr users right through to staff who are "anti-woke" or whatever and were absolutely intolerable to work with as a trans person), which seems like... a good sign? maybe.

this relative transparency includes things like weekly updates from an executive level, as well as openly saying that he did have to directly speak to matt and encourage him to, you know, stop posting.

matt is back to his usual milquetoast blogging, and replied to someone on mastodon about the AI issue saying he'd comment on it when he's back in may, so whatever toni said to him seems to have worked for him keeping out of it for now.

people have no idea what it's gonna look like when matt's back.

the best case scenario is that schneider manages to create a significant enough boost in morale and productivity that "it'd be nice if we just kept him" becomes a sentiment that isn't held just by the rank and file. i don't know how likely that is, but there's a sense of cautious hope and of making the most of this reprieve from matt's increasingly erratic decisions no matter what.

the tumblr staff statement was approved by schneider and hr, so i am also hopeful they won't face repercussions. what they said might seem pretty mild from the outside, or carefully worded, but it's pretty clear to me and to most people who've worked at companies like this that it's a pretty bold one.

i'll quote a friend:

keep reminding the more histrionic elements out there that: 1. there really are trans people, INCLUDING TRANS WOMEN, in the fight here. 2. we don't have nearly the power they seem to think we do. 3. we're fighting anyway. was the statement we wrote enough? fuck no. does it fix everything? fuck no. but we literally called out the CEO, and got the greenlight for it from the interim CEO. i don't know where this will end, but that's not nothing.

i'm not sure automattic deserves the immense honor of having this many of its brave, dedicated trans staff put effort into trying to make it better. but it has them, and it would be wise to do its best to keep them. so many of us — even me, even now — believe in the ideals that drew us to the work automattic does, and hope that it can return to them. we will see!

other things i want to say:

the wellbeing of my friends on staff is my priority. i am interested primarily in their safety, and won't pressure them to give me goss. the ways i've spoken publicly are already pretty scary to people who might worry about retaliation against them just for being known to be my friend.

this is a regular personal blog. i'll keep updating if there's shit to update about, but i also don't work at automattic any more (thank fuck, again), have a life, and am not interested in declaring matt my specific nemesis or otherwise acting purely out of spite.

some of youse really deeply do not understand companies, the internet, generative ai, or pretty much anything else i've said. that's okay — big tech in particular is fucked up on purpose bc it benefits those in power to have it be incomprehensible! but maybe it's not a great position from which to get mad at me specifically or at staff for idk not personally assassinating matt.

got tired of blocking transphobes so i've turned anons off. i'll probably flick them back on eventually.

#tony muses #tumblr meta #<- just for my blog's tag search

[astarionfreak]

❝ astarionfreak's bg3 fanfiction masterlist

NSFW / 18+ only

All works on AO3 | Message me | Main blog

Directory: BG3 screenshots | BG3 quotes | BG3 gifs | All original posts | Answered | Astarion answered

Ongoing

✘ exile (or: how you learned to stay) (11/?) Dark fic / Dead dove | Ascended Astarion (Evil) x Reader (Fem!Durge) & Shadowheart x Reader (Fem!Durge) | Read on AO3.

You turned away from everyone after defeating the Netherbrain. You spiraled out of control. Then, at your very lowest, Astarion, the Vampire Ascendant, found you. You give him everything. But your heart still belongs to Shadowheart -- and Astarion will never let you go.

✘ days of hedonistic debauchery (2/9) | Gale x Tessa (Fem!Tav) x Astarion | Read on AO3.

For Tessa, Astarion coming to stay with her and Gale in Waterdeep has been a dream come true. Even Gale is learning to enjoy the taste of chaos. But nothing can ever really be that simple, can it?

✘ the blood on your hands is mine (3/?) | Astarion x Wren (Fem!Durge) | Read on AO3.

Wren is a wretched thing. Dark thoughts consume her mind, urging her to kill, kill, kill. Her hunger for murder is only matched by Astarion’s thirst for blood. She’s fascinated by him. After all, he makes for such a perfect, pretty corpse.

Astarion thinks Wren looks particularly exquisite when she’s killing to protect him. If only he can figure her out, then he’d have her wrapped her around his little finger. It should be easy, right? Manipulate her feelings and ensure her dark thoughts are directed at his enemies — never at him.

✘ carve it in red (2/?) | Ascended Astarion x Serin (Fem!Durge) | Read on AO3.

Astarion, the Vampire Ascendant. He brought Baldur’s Gate to its knees. He is the man who has everything, but he lost her. Serin. His mad love. Consumed by her urge. Can she be saved?

Complete

✔ at least you purr for me (1/1) | Astarion x Reader (Fem!Tav) | only on AO3

You've been faking orgasms your entire life. And yes, you even faked during that night in the forest with Astarion. After a couple bottles of wine, the truth comes out and Astarion wants to rectify the situation.

✔ the lick of poison (1/1) | Astarion x Naenia (Fem!Tav) | Read on AO3 or Tumblr

She hadn’t recognized the mushroom by sight. But now she recognized it by sensation. A powerful, and often deadly aphrodisiac. She had a long night ahead of her. If she were to survive . . .

✔ are you satisfied, darling? (2/2) | Astarion x Naenia (Fem!Tav) | Read on AO3 or Tumblr

If Naenia could just rub one out on her own maybe she could stop thinking about Astarion and finally get some rest. There's one little flaw in her plan -- it's wriggling around her brain -- and giving the object of her desires a front row seat to her fantasies.

✔ palisade afternoon (1/1) Dark fic / dead dove | Ascended Astarion x Reader (Fem!Durge) | Read on AO3.

How long did you spend planning your escape only for it to fail? Astarion has bound you to him, body and soul. He has complete control. You are helpless as he takes advantage of you.

✔ beg like you need it (1/1) Astarion x Tessa (Fem!Tav) x Gale | Read on AO3 or Tumblr

Astarion, Tessa and Gale were thrown into jail. Astarion has some ideas on how to pass the time. He doesn't mind if Gale listens. But, if the wizard wants to use their little tadpole friends to watch, well, he'll have to beg.

✔ you'll hate me (make love) (1/1) | Ascended Astarion x Reader (Fem!Tav) | Read on AO3

You left Astarion after he completed the ritual. You lost the love of your life. You mourned him. Now, a year later, you return to him in a moment of desperation. Astarion grants you one last night with the man you lost.

or: Ascended Astarion pretends to be his spawn self as Tav's dying wish and they fuck on his grave.

✔ that darling neck of yours (1/1) | Astarion x Reader (Fem!Tav) | Read on AO3

When Astarion pulled you down to the ground and held that blade to your throat, it awakened your desire. He noticed -- and he's going to hold it against you (again).

✔ you're mine, remember? (2/2) | Ascended Astarion x Cassowary (Fem!Tav Spawn) | Read on AO3 or Tumblr

Reuniting with Gale was a surprise. The Vampire Ascendant's reaction to Cassie returning home smelling like Gale . . . Well, that was to be expected.

✔ now that his heart beats (1/1) | Ascended Astarion x Reader | Read on AO3 or Tumblr

You lay with your head on Astarion's chest. Your body is so quiet since you followed him into eternity. Astarion's is so loud, now that his heart beats again.

#astarion #astarion bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion fic #astarion smut #i just like making lists ok

[nihilnovisubsole]

phew! finally a weekend where i can set aside enough time to type up The Promised Endwalker Stream-of-Consciousness Post. i finished the base story... a month ago? but work has been busy, and i think tumblr benefits from me being quiet sometimes. anyway, what a ride. when you've been building up to the end of your arc for a decade, you want to hit it like an earthquake, and that's exactly what they did.

i think people love endwalker because it fires on all cylinders. it returns - in both story and vision - to the eorzea we love, and the dev team gets to show off everything they've learned. the dungeons and boss fights are dynamic and imaginative and colorful and bring the game's epic sense of scope to bear. the story callbacks are juicy. the music is orchestral again. we're back home, and we're saving the galaxy. what's better than this?

i love that we go to garlemald. i don't - i mean, you know, i don't like garlemald. i shouldn't have to qualify that. but it's hugely narratively satisfying to see the face of the enemy we've been fighting since the first few hours of ARR. you don't think about them when you're beating them up in castrum centri or ala mhigo. they're star wars bad guys. then you meet them on their own turf. you observe firsthand how they starve and cannibalize their own people to feed their obsession with state power and military strength. the wintry environment makes it seem all the more barren and desperate. my favorite part by far. i wish we'd spent more time there.

actually, on that note:

there is an argument that endwalker should've been two expacs. i've heard similar about stormblood - ala mhigo should've been the whole thing, and doma should've been either patch content or an expac of its own. the prevailing theory is that, after ARR, the devs are afraid of letting arcs run long. i can't speak to that, but i wouldn't have minded, that's for sure!

i won't pretend not to be biased. i've noted in many xiv posts that it hurries through its political plots to get to the magic stuff. i felt more conscious of it in heavensward and especially in stormblood. i made peace with it in endwalker. with dessert this good, who am i to complain? i can do small character drama on my own time. for now, the game wants royce to be a big damn shonen hero, and that can be fun, too.

speaking of characters, urianger and estinien have grown on me. this is the arc where, for me at least, the scions have congealed. they're all good, but with any large cast and custom player character, you tend to form the meatiest bonds with a few specific ones. i think royce appreciates urianger's cooler, more mature head. they're both so formal. he realizes she's someone he can confide in. i think she sees estinien as a gifted, but hotheaded whelp, which i find very funny. patience, child. stop sulking. do your breathing drills.

i love thancred's MGS sequence and in from the cold too. they're stressful, but i love that the team tried, you know what i mean? the fact that you can fight enemies in a pinch makes those duties way more bearable than some other games that experiment with stealth.

in from the cold as a whole, honestly. If You Know, You Know

all right, i can't avoid referencing spoilers anymore, sorry. there's a sense of classical tragedy to the whole elpis sequence. it's like watching macbeth or hamlet. you know how it's going to end, and you know you're powerless to stop it, but if they'd just made that different choice! but we had to leave eden. the warrior of light had to end up where they are to finish what elpis started. i don't do fate/destiny plots, but this? i'll take it.

i also knew what would happen going into ultima thule and still came away from it moved. it's strong writing. that's all there is to it. sure, the visuals are haunting, but the dialogue has to sell a gauntlet of difficult character moments, and it pulls it off. on the design side, there's some interesting intentional friction that forces you to linger in the zone and sit with its sense of despair. that part where you have to search the empty park for signs of life? oof

with the majority of the MSQ under my belt, i started sniffing around for what else there is to do ingame. i tried ninja. did terribly. i tried sage. did terribly too, but at least that gave me access to the healer role quests, which, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). the nier raids are gorgeous. i even did the controversial werlyt quests, and terncliff is so cute. i kind of wish we could have another story there!

what's next? i dunno! right now i'm burning through the hildibrand quests before i continue on with endwalker's patch story. the field operation stuff seems interesting to do after the MSQ, in a "hey, you saved the world, but we have more missions for you" way. i've also contracted Triple Triad Collector Disease, so that'll keep me busy for a long time.

all right. one last thing. Real Gamer Moments: i was in a mount-farming party recently, and i said that i sort of collected mounts, but only used the ishgardian chocobo. it's a roleplay thing - it's the chocobo royce took when she ran away from ishgard. one of the party members said "haurchefant would be proud of you." AUGH

#ffxiv #long post

[lorcandidlucienwill]

This is a scene I wrote about which occurs after Lucien's experience with Ianthe. I posted this a while ago but I wasn't able to do it properly because I didn't know about the weird Tumblr paragraph rule, so I'm posting this again. I'm sorry, children. TW: angst

Lucien woke up alone. At first it seemed like an ordinary morning, but then he looked down at himself. Whorls of paint from the Calanmai ceremony were still there, exceptionally smudged all across his body. The hazy magical memories started to come back to him. A blonde woman pawing at him, her triumphant smile as Lucien took her, the magic riding him hard. But even the magic couldn’t shut down that part of him that screamed, Not her! Not the jackal! Anyone but that wicked witch!

His will was so strong that there were moments that his hand shook; not from emotion, but from the effort to resist. But he had to do this. If Tamlin wouldn’t protect this court, Lucien had to step it up. This court had given him everything he’d lacked in Autumn. It was only fitting that he gave everything he had back to the court. Including his pride, his honor, and his dignity. His body.

Tears fell down Lucien’s face. He’d rolled around in dirt, even slept in it, in that cave in Autumn. He’d been covered in his own blood after his eye was carved out. Yet he’d never felt filthier than he did now. He could still feel that monster’s hands on her, like ants crawling up and down his shoulders, his back, his chest. He had to do something to wash this oily feeling off of his body. So, he walked into the bathroom.

He stared at his expression in the mirror. That awful scar still gave him a jump scare sometimes, and now, his remaining eye…it looked how he felt. Sad, cold, and empty. And tired. He looked horrible. People once sung praises of his beauty; now they all cringed away in horror as they saw the brutality etched across his face. He stepped into the shower, turning the water heat to its max, hoping it would burn him.

To anyone else, the heat would’ve been unbearable, but Lucien’s Autumn Court fire withstood it, welcomed it; it stirred the magic in his blood. He abhorred that part of himself that was still shallow enough to care about things that had been important in the Autumn Court. He’d always prided himself for his appearance, his intelligence, his ability to speak with people. Now, he had no pride left. It had crumbled away the moment he’d allowed that otherworldy magic to flow into his body. He had been certain it would kill him; he was no High Lord, nor did he have any desire to be.

But by some cruel twist of fate, the Spring Court had chosen him. He wondered what the people made of it. That the magic had not chosen their High Lord, but some disgraced son of Autumn. Lucien sat down in the shower, cradling his knees to his head, bawling as he recalled Tamlin’s command that Lucien perform the right.

“Tam?” Lucien had said. “You called?” “Yes; I need you to do something for me.” Lucien had leaned against the wall nonchalantly, arms crossed. “Yes?” Lucien hadn’t failed to notice Tamlin’s decreased usage of himself and increased reliance on Ianthe. He did not understand it, nor did he wish to. He resented the power Tamlin had taken from him. They used to be friends. Lucien used to push him, prod him, and Tamlin took it. He almost wished they were back in the days with Amarantha, if only so that he could have his friend back. He got it- he truly did. They’d all suffered under the mountain. He knew what it was like to hear the love of your life’s heart stop beating. He knew how helpless he must feel with Feyre likely being raped and tortured back in Night.

But Lucien was on his side. Surely, he understood that. Lucien hoped this request would be a return to Tamlin using him as his primary advisor instead of Ianthe. He still remembered the helplessness, the submission his body had been forced into as he’d demanded Tamlin let Feyre train. Tamlin had never used the High Lord’s command on him. Never. Lucien had no idea what was going on in Tamlin’s head since under the mountain. He’d gotten Feyre to talk, but Tamlin refused to so much as look at him these days.

“I know this is a lot to ask,” Tamlin began. Oh boy, Lucien thought to himself. Those words were never followed by anything anyone wanted to hear. “Yes?” Lucien said irritably. “Calanmai is coming soon,” he’d said. “And? Do you need me to help with preparations or something?” He’d shaken his head. “No. I need you to…replace me.” Lucien had stilled. “I know you’re struggling with Feyre missing, but I can’t do it. A High Lord must do it, or else.”

“I CAN’T!” Tamlin had roared. The room had shaken. Lucien often forgot Tamlin was a High Lord, but in that moment, he remembered. For the first time, he felt fear of him. High Lords were power; that roar reminded him of the beast that crawled within each one. Beron’s hyena form clawing at Lucien’s back when he was just a kid came to mind. “Ok, I’ll-I’ll try, Tam.” He hated how weak, how timid his voice had sounded. He’d prided himself on his ability to stand up to everyone, to call out everyone’s bullshit no matter how powerful.

But suddenly, he was just a child again, and Beron was roaring at him, and the scars on his back suddenly stung again. Lucien had walked away from there as fast as he could without running before crying in his room. He was no stranger to sex- but he hated the thought of sleeping someone while not in his right mind. And his number one fear- that the magic would choose Ianthe. Who Tamlin wouldn’t dismiss despite Lucien’s complaints. He didn’t care that she was a high priestess. She was nothing but a bloody creep.

His worst fear had come to pass. The magic was cruel; it had chosen that bitch. Was he any better than her, considering he’d slept with her? Even if he hadn’t been himself, it didn’t undo the facts. Jesminda would have been disgusted with him. He’d never deserved her anyway. Her smile flitted in his memory, and Lucien slammed his fist against the ground. He roared to gods who would not hear his pleas. They had abandoned him the moment he was born. How could Tamlin do this to him? How could Tamlin betray him like this? He thought Tamlin, at least, cared for him. He’d protected him all this time in Spring. He’d seen his worth.

But now…he’d asked for too much this time. Lucien had lost a part of himself. He didn’t know how he’d ever get it back. Lucien was already discarded like trash by one High Lord. What’s another one, he supposed. For a moment, Lucien was tempted to end his life right there in the shower. But what would Jesminda say? The only one who truly loved him for who he was. She would’ve called him a coward. How could he end his life before he witnessed her dreams for Autumn fulfilled? No- he’d endure until he fulfilled her dream. Then he’d end his own life. No one would miss him, anyway.

#lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #angst #fanfic #ianthe

[redjaybathood]

It's killing me how pervasive russian propaganda is. Propals love to claim that the West is hypocrites bc they support Ukraine but not a variety of countries and people they, themselves being from the West more often than not, did not give a shit about before. They would rather blame anyone else: the government they voted for, the media they are reading, - than look into themselves.

This paradigm also ignores:

Massive anti-Ukrainian russian propaganda campaign that is running for ten years now. Chances are, all they heard about Ukraine before the full-scale invasion is Azov, Bandera, Nazis, and that's what they're running with it (especially leftists/tankies who think Greyzone is a reliable source of information). Despite chances are, there are more far-right in power in their country than there are far-right politicians in Ukraine. Despite the massive reform Azov underwent. Despite the voices of our Jewish citizens and academics, despite Muslim soldiers in Azov;

Massive support russia, russians, russian imperialism still gets. For one example (and there are numerous) Australian ABC TV station recently made a documentary based on the point of view of russian invading forces, and it treated everything they have heard from them or seen as a legitimate point of view. Bucha massacre denial, for example. This is not humanization, this is straight-up genocide denial. And I know that UK TV also showed this documentary, it's side by side on their website with the documentary about Ukrainian abducted children. The children - those of them who survived the deportation anyway - are being indoctrinated against Ukraine, right now, trained as soldiers. If you even care;

The obvious reality that after people realized that there's not going to be a WW3 or a nuclear war anytime soon, they stopped caring all that much, if they ever did. Look at tumblr: any Palestine or even Israel-related post gets 20+k notes easily. That's not something that we see nowadays with Ukraine, if ever. And there is more negativity about Ukraine here, or on other social media, than for Gazans. And this is even counting that Gaza is the base for legit terrorist organization that committed a massive terrorist attack against the civilian population and is currently holding hostages. Which is the justification Israel puts down for their attack, and for their massive infliction of civilian casualties - but it's also what happened. Whereas in Ukraine, what happened was a Revolution of Dignity, where the victims, the dead, were the people who protested against the corrupt government and won. They didn't attack civilians, they didn't kill russians, they didn't even ban a russian language. They just didn't want to live in a corrupt country, in a police state, where children can be beaten up by police forces and be sent to a hospital. That's how Euromaidan started, if you even care. And Euromaidan is exactly the justification russia put up for the invasion back in 2014. You get me? HAMAS terrorist attack spiked huge support for Gaza and the Palestinian cause even before there were 30K Palestinians murdered by Israel. Even before one such death. Ukraine's fight to protect its freedom was met with indifference if not hostility.

Nothing of the above means you should not care about Gaza and Palestine. But somehow, it means that people treat it as a morally superior position not to care about Ukraine, to blame their government, to blame their media, to blame schools and parents and corporations - and, of course, zionists. Which is their dog whistle for Jews.

It deserves another post, how quickly misinformation and antisemitism spreads on tumblr. Holy shit. You guys are fucked up.

#not tagging bc it's mostly a vent post #i'm exausted

[aurorawest]

The Scottish Boy by Alex de Campi - 5/5 stars

This book managed to rip my heart out at least 3 times. I loved it. Medieval enemies-to-lovers slow burn; very romantic. Kinda read like fanfiction at times but in a good way. 10/10 would read a follow-up love story about Arundel and Captain Wekena. If you like Captive Prince, give this one a try.

Reforged by Seth Haddon - 4/5 stars

Pretty good bodyguard romantasy. Ironically CS Pacat blurbed this one (another am-I-in-the-matrix moment). The world was interesting and I enjoyed the politics, though they're definitely not as complicated as other SFF politics I've gone feral over (see: Captive Prince, Winter's Orbit, A Memory Called Empire). I ordered the sequel after I finished this.

The Doctor's Date by Heidi Cullinan - 4/5 stars

A Power Unbound by Freya Marske - 5/5 stars

Where do I start? I love, love, LOVE A Marvellous Light. It's one of my favorite books ever. None of the rest of the books in the trilogy could live up to it, really, because it's so good. You'll notice I rated this one 5 stars though, because quite honestly I fell prey to a bit of The Academy Paying The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Its Due syndrome. I did love this book and thought it was better than A Restless Truth (which I still loved!) but part of that is, quite frankly, just due to the fact that I prefer m/m romance to f/f romance.

Anyway. This was such a good finale to the trilogy. I loved that the romance was a giant middle finger to purity cultists. I loved that one of the mains was Italian. I loved finally getting the story of what happened to the Alston twins. One thing I thought was really cool was how, viewed from the outside, you totally get why Edwin is such a loner. I really admire from a writing perspective how Marske pulled that off.

I feel like there's a lot to be said about what Marske was trying to SAY with this book, but I definitely need to reread it first before I can articulate any of it. The purity culture stuff is obvious, but the magic system too. I feel like Jack when he's almost able to connect everything in his mind into a bigger idea, but he can't quite get there.

I've got a special edition from Illumicrate coming, so I'll be rereading it when I have that.

Oh also, this book was the embodiment of all that one tumblr post -

The Guncle by Steven Rowley - 5/5 stars

I saw this in bookstores for years before I finally gave in and bought it. The blurb makes it sound insufferable and twee. Ignore the blurb. This was such a good book about grief and learning how to live again after terrible loss.

I Like Me Better by Robby Weber - 4/5 stars

At last I can stop getting the Lauv song stuck in my head whenever I set eyes on this book (it's stuck in my head as I type this). Pretty standard-issue YA, but it was cute and had a good message.

The Stagsblood King by Gideon E Wood - 4/5 stars

Another book about moving on from grief! This is the second book in a trilogy. When I was trying to determine if I wanted to read on beyond book 1, I scoured the internet for information about what happens in books 2 and 3. Eventually I decided, hell, I enjoyed book 1 well enough, even if what I want to happen in the rest of the trilogy doesn't happen, they're worth reading. SO, to that end, I will tell anyone looking for info that Tel gets romantically involved with a new man in this one, which, eh. I still want him to somehow end up with Vared. It was still quite good though.

In the Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune - DNF at pg 82

So funnily, we were at the bookstore the day I was about to start reading this, and my wife pointed out Ravensong (also by Klune) to me and said, "Do you have this one?" I made a face and said, "That's an older one of his books and I'm wary of his early work after that horrible Verania series. I don't think I've ever read an author as hit or miss as TJ Klune."

I wrote the above when I was 60 pages in and now I have officially DNFed this. Listen. You know how in Thor: Love and Thunder, Taika Waititi was clearly given free rein to do whatever he wanted, so all of his worst impulses made it to the final cut unchecked? Yeah. That's what this book is like.

Here's my Storygraph review: I see Klune is officially Too Big To Edit now. This book has exactly the same problem that his awful Verania series had—a joke that's funny at first but quickly grows tiresome when it's repeated five times per page. The emphasis on Victor's asexuality was also weird and read like Klune was just super proud of himself for writing an ace character.

Lion's Legacy by LC Rosen - 4.25/5 stars

Queer, YA Indiana Jones, but less #problematic. This book had some eerie similarities to my own archaeology adventure novel(s), which made me wonder half-seriously if I somehow know Lev Rosen? Anyway, I feared this would be very heavy-handed and not nuanced on archaeology's ethical dilemmas, since it's YA and also the current culture is to view said dilemmas as completely black and white with no nuance, but I was pleasantly surprised. It manages to examine that, queerness, and daddy issues, plus has time to be a genuinely fun and exciting adventure story. Highly recommend.

Too White to be Coloured, Too Coloured to be Black by Ismail Lagardien - 4/5 stars

I picked up this memoir in a bookstore at OR Tambo airport in Johannesburg as research for Six Places to Fall in Love, since Percy is coloured. A pretty brutal read, but good, and definitely good research. The author was a photographer and journalist through the most violent years of apartheid.

The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson - 5/5 stars

Two nonfiction books in a row?? This is the second book by Erik Larson I've read, the first being the excellent The Devil in the White City. I'm not, in general, all that interested in WWII when it comes to military history, but this book is about the day to day lives of Churchill and the people surrounding him (with brief stops to visit FDR and high-ranking Nazis sprinkled throughout). This is a very, very good book, and I recommend reading it if only as a reminder of the resilience and bravery of ordinary people under terrifying circumstances.

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh - 5/5 stars

Holy shit. Holy shit is this book good. Imagine the love child of Lost, Person of Interest, and Battlestar Galactica, but queer and with multiverse shenanigans thrown in.

I need everyone to read this book. Now. Yesterday. Get to it.

#the scottish boy #alex de campi #reforged #seth haddon #reading tag #a power unbound #freya marske #the last binding #the guncle #steven rowley #i like me better #robby weber #the stagsblood king #gideon e wood #in the lives of puppets #lion's legacy #lc rosen #too white to be coloured too coloured to be black #ismail lagardien #the splendid and the vile #erik larson #some desperate glory #emily tesh

[rach-amber]

Me again!

Do you think that Rachel and Max had a spiritual connection with one another? They’re completely different as far as their personalities and outer appearances. Yet, they both have one thing in common:

Their love for Chloe.

Plus, the fact that Rachel appeared as Max’s spirit animal (the doe) somewhat shows me that they were connected to some degree. What do you think?

You always ask great questions! I must admit I'm not as well versed on Max's side of the story as Rachel's, so there definitely are people who can give a more comprehensive answer than me. But imma just try and write what comes to mind :)

For 2 people that have never met, their spiritual connection, chemistry, "fate entanglement" as I liked to call what they have are the strongest across the fandoms I've seen. When Max returned, we as players felt Rachel's presence all over Arcadia bay. In the original there was even a line to the effect of "I feel like everything in this town is connected to Rachel Amber somehow". Max was able to "see" Rachel through different people in Arcadia bay. Everyone had something to say about her, even a random trucker. It can be said that she really had an effect on the people of that town, if we put the fire aside. This town being Max's hometown adds another layer to it, it is so much different due to Rachel's existence.

left pic from a fan made Rachel DLC | Yes, their love for Chloe is the key link that transcends through time & space, allowing them to see each other in some way.

Like the town, Max is also very different from her past self. While she didn't have such a strong presence back when she was growing up in Arcadia, Max eventually became the decider of the town's (including most of its people) fate. Whether Rachel is the root cause to Max's powers is very much a mystery and up to interpretation, just like many things in life is strange.

If we acknowledge that Rachel is the cause of the fire, there could be another parallel: this girl who tried to leave this town nearly destroyed the town; meanwhile another girl who came back actually have the power to do that, or stop it from getting destroyed. Even though both never meant to. (Not expanding on Rachel being the storm here cuz it's really not definitive & personally I think if Rachel's got powers she'd just use them on those who did her wrong, not the entire town)

Personality-wise, especially on the outside, they are almost opposites. But somehow I get the feeling that they'd really understand each other, because on the inside, they may not be that different. I've seen a Tumblr post saying Rachel using her people skills to get on people's good side is mirrored by Max using her rewind powers to fix her responses. (When you've got such an ability, of course you use them! Which is different from being manipulative, might I add.)

Rachel with her sensitive, vulnerable side, which she guarded & masked with so much effort and painted with her smiles & godly social skills, is definitely able to understand & empathise with Max and not judge her. And Max being pretty perceptive herself, having quite an astute understanding of Rachel just from photos she found, is definitely able to see more than Rachel lets on. Both are powerful smartasses and fiercely protective of Chloe. (& both bi x)

Max sees, Rachel shows. The photographer & the muse. Built for an "electric combo", as Love is Strange says, even though they may not hit it off well at the start due to awkwardness or slight jealousy from both sides, eventually they're gonna realise that the other is beneficial for them. Max is able to ground Rachel and give her heartfelt & real advice that she needed; Rachel's able to help build Max's confidence, socialise better (back off V, she's with me), share insights about art & photography.

I'd even say Max & Rachel may complement each other more than Max and Chloe, OR Chloe and Rachel. (If there are more content on these 2, AmberPrice in my heart might be challenged. Yeah. It's scary.)

Some say they share the same spirit animal, which is really possible (bts putting that "doe see doe" photo on Rachel's bed frame), or it could mean that as Max's spirit animal, Max sees all spirits in a doe form. Another possibility is that Rachel have the doe as her spirit animal, and everyone who can see her spirit sees the doe. Nonetheless it's incredible that Max seems to be the only person to be able to see the doe, or that Rachel chose to present herslef to only Max. Definitely a connection there. 🦌

Looking at their personalities through enneagram (Rach 4, Max likely 9) we see that they can be similar but in different ways (9 & 4 can be mistyped):

"The difference is that Nines are detached both from the external world and from their emotions (not keeping in touch w Chloe in Seattle & delay on reaching out to her?), whereas Fours withdraw from whatever has caused them pain (delaying telling Chloe about her messy relationships cuz it causes her pain? + her immediate reaction to finding James making out with another woman). Nines see the world through rose-colored glasses, and their view of it is comforting, whereas Fours see the world from a garret window as outsiders and are not comforted: everyone else seems to be living a happier, more normal life."

Thanks for the question! I've no idea I was gonna write this long. You guys can see a few of my blogs or reblogs that I've mentioned these 2 via the tag "Rachel and Max" or "Amberfield" if interested :) Feel free to reblog/ add on!

#rachel and max #amberfield #rachel amber #max caufield #life is strange #chloe price #lis #lis bts #life is strange before the storm #lis: bts #chloe x max x rachel #lifeisstrange #rachel amber character analysis #spirit animal #the doe #lgbtq+ #奇异人生 #麦克斯 #瑞秋 #amberprice #pricefield #ask #arcadia baes #arcadia bay #lis before the storm #lis: before the storm #before the storm #lis fan game

[sharkfinn]

Hey, you said that you came up with the Little Brother au before you started Tumblr, right?

So, since I haven't been following you for that long, or at least, I think so, what was your inspiration for making this au? When did you exactly come up with the idea? Do you have any original title names?

Also, a silly question: What are all the fandoms you are currently in? Just in case your pinned post is outdated :]

oh man. hmm

i got into tmnt 4th april 2021, because i wanted to rewatch 2012, only remembered some of it from when i was little, then deciding yup i want to look at everything tmnt. then i got hyperfixated

he started out as a really ambiguous any iteration oc, around the time i was reading the northampton arc of idw, (late juneish 2021?) was when i first drew him, all it was was just hehe silly green masked ninja turtle in sophie campbells idw artstyle

(i love sophie campbells art its so good)

then i drew him in the 2012 series, and he became more of his own character. in my old idea for 2012 he was significantly moody and overconfident, had his own abandoned area in the subway tunnels for spraypainting, was good buddies with raph but really didnt like leo at all. also had a scar on his shell, for some reason?? i wont say why but he can super easily be slapped into another iteration and i love that

it was only when i watched rise and tried to imagine him in their universe too that i went hold on- we got a whole potential story here. little brother was a placeholder title really, but i couldnt think of anything better soo. little brother.

the vine flesh concept was an absolutely random idea at first that was way too cool to drop.

i did have this whole really cool arc planned where eventually draxum did get tricked into allying with the foot, theyd protect five whod help fight the mad dogs for the kuroi yoroi shards, ("looking for this?") and hed also be able to sabotage the armour in some way.

but. i couldnt have this in because 1. distract way too much from the story i want to tell. 2. having shredder appear in the comic would ask for an entire shredder arc and respectfully no thanks lol.

just imagine five is in s2 trust me hes there hes awesome (oh and you know how in canon, shredder needed to take power from draxum, and it looked like he took the vines power from him? uhuh. and you know how five also has it? but instead its the only thing keeping him stuck together? uhuh. anyways!)

ohh!! cool oc trivia- his weapon was kinda undecided between tonfa (before i watched rise) or two scythes i referenced it in page 20 :D !!

his weapon would still be scythes i think, if he wasnt using the vines as his weapon

and no i try to keep my master post updated all the time, theres HEAPS more stuff i like, just complicated to think what to put on there? for example i looove how to train your dragon, but havent seen much of it past rewatching the 3 movies, thats nothing compared to rewatching all of adventure time 5 times. i dunno!

the way my interests work is that theres a selection of 1-3 that my brain focuses on, but it doesnt make any of the others less or i stopped liking them at all or anything. i have so many interests help me

right NOW im really hyperfixated on danny phantom and tf2!!

#little brother au #sharkfinnasks #rottmnt #rottmnt au #rottmnt oc

[demonofnowhere]

Time’s Time: Time for Thomas (don’t interrupt him) & Time for Stelle (interrupt me ASAP)

* now, i once had a lovely introduction to this post.  i did, honest.  it discussed how twitter has gotten worse and worse, and how if things went well i will do my best to post more thomas stuff here, and even briefly mentioned what this post is actually about. . .

* then firefox crashed. * being new to tumblr, i had not saved a draft of my post.  in fact, i found out you could save drafts mere minutes before firefox crashed.  i thought to myself “wow! what a nifty feature!”, and then proceeded to not save it.  this almost happened twice actually.  i managed to save it the second time thankfully.  i’m still livid though.

* thank you stelle, you are a really useless idiot.

* therefore, we’re not going to have that nice introduction.  the only things you need to know from that post is that you can find me on Twitter (@DemonOfNowhere) for more of my usual infodumping, and that i’ve ditched my usual typing quirks in favour of making this post readable for you all.  let’s get straight to the point instead. * greetings, i’m stelle, demon of nowhere (name change pending?), and it is unfortunately time for thomas.

Doesn’t it feel strange to see me type normally? With dignity? With even the slightest amount of respect for myself? Err, ahem, I mean... Thomas! I love Thomas. I love the ending of “Stepney’s Special” for Thomas.

Thomas tries very hard to maintain a very professional profile on his branch line. It’s likely something he picked up from Gordon, if his attempts to imitate him whilst he was younger are anything to go by (note “Thomas’ Train”). If you get in Thomas’s way, he kicks up such a fuss and holds it against you until either one of your gets a taste of Sudrian karma (”you” being Percy in this situation, usually). This all means that when Thomas is shunted to allow Stepney, a newcomer, fly past him with one measely coach while Thomas, Annie, Clarabel and their passengers crossly wait for him to pass, Thomas gets cross.

Really cross. Super cross. He holds it against Stepney and is still fuming by the time the next morning arrives.

Thomas spoils the effect of it very quickly though. Of course he does, he’s Thomas and he’s stupid. All Stepney had to do was give one compliment and next thing he knew, Thomas was telling him EVERYTHING about his branch like an eight-year-old telling their parent all about their cool new toy they got (don’t let Mattel hear about this). Stepney calls Thomas an expert once, and away Thomas goes, not only to stroke his own ego a little, but also just because he’s too happy to ramble about his prized branch line (which Percy and Toby clearly think is hilarious, based on the illustration...). He’s a bit like me in that sense; we like to ramble about things no one cares about, but we can’t stop ourselves. Please help me.

One of my favourite parts of this exchange is the following line: “Ah well,” said Thomas modestly.

“Modestly” is the funniest words ever used to describe Thomas the Tank Engine. You and I of course both know that, despite his good heart, he is anything but modest.

Now, there’s something else I’d like to talk about here too. If you’ve read my ramblings before, you know that I cannot type for five seconds without bringing up something else that I didn’t mean to bring up but brought up anyway. I’m silly like that.

If Thomas got mad at Stepney for interrupting his branch line’s timetable once...

...How would he feel about having a whole train that has to do everything in its power to NOT interrupt the usual services?

In notes of Ffarquhar’s layout, the land cruise enthusaist train is noted to be scheduled in-between regular services, and mustn’t disrupt traffic. This is implied to be more difficult than it ought to be, partially because rail enthusiasts are rail enthusiasts and getting them back into the coaches is a miserable experience for the station’s secretary, and partially due to shunting arrangements at Ffarquhar that are absolutely mind-boggling (a document I wrote up of Ffarquhar’s timetable, according to the Awdry DVD, can be found here!).

The moment the Bloomer, or whoever the enthusiasts’ engine happens to be, arrives, he has to square his fancy saloon coaches away to make room for Thomas, Annie and Clarabel’s next down service. So, imagine for me, what happens when Bloomer indulges the enthusiasts’ interest in him at the platform for a little too long, only for Thomas with his grumpy little face to huff into the station yard and start angrily shouting at Bloomer to Get Out Of His Way Or Else The Fat Controller Will Find Out And You Will Regret That.

Now, we of course know little of Bloomer, but I’ve always thought of him not quite as an old grandpa, but rather a showman who takes a lot of pride in his theatrics on a railway filled mainly of engines still in regular service. Bloomer doesn’t get to appear publicly very often, but when he does, he’s going to make it worthwhile. He’s going to bask in the spotlight for as long as he can, impressing everyone who is lucky enough to draw eyes on him, and he’s certainly no pushover. If Bloomer wants to spend time talking to the enthusiasts about his past life (though he has to keep SOME secrets, of course. Part of the act, a bit of mystery is always fun), then he’s going to spend as much time as he can doing just that -- which he always does.

This drives Thomas insane. A WHOLE TRAIN THAT COULD THROW ALL OF HIS TIMETABLE, ALL THAT HE’S WORKED FOR, OUT THE WINDOW SO EASILY? WHAT. The poor guy. He and Bloomer would be the ultimate enemies, egomanaics for different reasons that will forever butt heads while the other Ffarquhar engines would wish they’d just shut up for two seconds.

He cheerfully and dutifully shunts Annie and Clarabel along from the carriage shed... then he sees Bloomer’s ugly mug taking up the platform. “YOU,” Thomas hissed, grounding to a halt, “YOU’RE not supposed to be here.” “Ah,” Bloomer smiled sweetly, “Thomas my boy, I most certainly belong here. It’s part of my act for me to be right here, right now. ‘Tis merely part of my script.” “Right now!?” scoffed Thomas, as Annie and Clarabel chattered quietly behind, “Right now, you and your ugly great houses on wheels are meant to be by the cattle dock! Never mind your ‘act’, my Timetable is much more important! You always talk such nonsense.” “And you always talk ever so much, yet say very little,” mused Bloomer, “A script would do you well, improv is clearly not your strong suit, Thomas my darling. For such a famous little engine, you never seem to respect the life of a shining star. What a waste, what a waste. We Enthusiast Engines have far more than timetables to worry about, boy; we have fans to please.” Thomas wanted to retort, but was interrupted by a shrill, long blast of Bloomer’s whistle. “I hope you all enjoyed the first part of the show!” Bloomer called to his passengers, as he began to back away, “We shall return after our intermission, and I have no doubt you shall all be there to witness the Grand Finale of today’s display! Make sure to be there at 6 o’clock sharp. After all, Time’s Time.” Bloomer winked in Thomas’s direction. Thomas’s face was redder than Bloomer’s paint, and he had practically vanished behind a thick cloud of steam. “What a horrid engine!” he grumbled to Annie and Clarabel when he finally made it to the platform, “He thinks the whole railway revolves about him, and expects everyone to work at HIS pace! The shame of it, the shame of it...” Annie and Clarabel really thought it all rather ironic.

This is all made funnier by the fact that once the enthusiasts’ train leaves Ffarquhar for the junction, it crosses Thomas with Annie and Clarabel going up the line at Elsbridge. Thomas has yet another chance to start bickering with Bloomer, especially when the Ffarquhar secretary likely couldn’t get the stragglers into Bloomer’s coaches in time (and Bloomer of course didn’t help her one bit). Their next rowl shall be exciting stuff for all involved -- except Annie and Clarabel, who have tried reasoning with Thomas the whole time, but haven’t quite been able to get through to their stubborn engine.

Now, realistically, I had planned to do a bit more talking rather than writing a whole scene. However, much like Thomas, improv isn’t my strong suit, and I hadn’t at first planned for this to be a Bloomer discussion, and perhaps this has gone on for long enough. Whoops!

What have we learnt today? Well, personally, I’ve learnt that I probably need to get the hang of writing these posts. This probably hasn’t worked out super well. Those of you who are more familar with this site are probably cringing so hard at me right now, and you’re entirely right to do so. For shame, me, for shame...

Usually, I like to round these off with a nice, poetic conclusion about what we’ve discussed today... but really I didn’t know that this post was going in the direction it went into. I mainly wrote this to get my foot in the door and finally post something of substance here. Apparently my second to most popular post here is talking about how fucking funny Terence the Tractor here. Can we change that please? Terence the Tractor is funny but... I can do better than that...

Well, no, no I can’t.

...

You know, I meant to start using my typing quirks again at the end of the post.

But now we’re here, and it doesn’t feel right for me to start using them.

...

I’m doing an awful job at ending this.

...

Maybe Terence the Tractor IS the best I can do.

Hmm.

#The Railway Series #Thomas The Tank Engine #Thomas #Stepney #Bloomer #Ffarquhar #Thomas and Friends #i don't know how these tags work #if i've done something wrong feel free to yell at me #because holy HELL i must have done so much wrong #i'll hopefully post more ramblings here #and hopefully they'll be better than whatever on earth this post is #ever think about how funny terence the tractor is? #ttte #ttte thomas #ttte stepney #ttte bloomer #is that better? #no clue. #life is rough.

[hexologh]

Ty: @scarletdragontiger

Azure knew that you were already taken, but his heart swelled with a love so intense that he could not deny its pull. Despite the knowledge that your heart belonged to another, he was consumed by the fiery passion that burned within him, a love that knew no bounds or limitations. He was willing to risk it all for you, to fight for your love with every fiber of his being, and to show you a love that was pure and true. His love for you was ever so much, a force to be reckoned with.

Despite the fact that you were the daughter of his enemy, Azure's heart could not stop loving you. He was torn between his loyalty to his family and his deep, unyielding love for you, a love that had taken root in his heart and refused to let go. Even though Sun Wukong had taken everything from him, Azure could not help but feel drawn to you, the one person who held the key to his heart. He knew that your love for him may be seen as futile by some, but he was willing to risk everything to be with you, to show you a love that was pure and true, and to prove that the power of love could overcome even the greatest of obstacles.

In a world where love is a rare and precious commodity, you have found the one person who completes you. You are his, and he is yours, connected by a bond that is unbreakable and pure. All he asks is for you to come with him, to take that that leap of faith and trust in the power of your love. You KNOW deep down that Redson did not deserve you, that his love was shallow and fleeting compared to the deep well of love that your true partner has for you. He is the one who will stand by your side through thick and thin, who will be there for you in times of joy and sorrow, and who will show you the meaning of true love. So please, won't you take his hand and allow him to show you a world filled with endless love and possibilities?

Azure's eyes filled with a deep sense of devotion and longing. He's begging you, his voice filled with an urgency that cannot be ignored, "Please, my love, won't you take my paw and let me love you? I promise to treat you like a queen." You can feel the power of his love emanating from him, a love that is pure and true, and one that cannot be denied. He is offering you the world, a world filled with endless love and joy, a world where you are the center of his universe. So won't you take that leap of faith, and allow him to show you the depths of his love? He is begging you with all his heart, and his love for you will never wane.

Sometimes, love knows no bounds, and the heart wants what it wants. Azure was one such person, who cared not that you were already taken, nor that you were the daughter of his enemy. His heart was consumed by a love so pure and intense that it overruled all else, a love that demanded to be felt and expressed, no matter the cost. He knew that others may judge him for his love, that society may frown upon his actions, but he could not help but be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. All he asks is for you to take his hand, to trust in the power of your love, and to allow him to show you the depth of his devotion. He is willing to take on the world for you, to fight for your love with every fiber of his being, and to show you that sometimes, the greatest love stories are the ones that defy all odds. So won't you take that chance, and allow him to show you a love that is pure, true, and unconditional?

I kid yall not Tumblr would not let me post and I had to re write it. 😭

#lmk x y/n #y/n #slayallday #sun wukong #red son #lmk monkey king #lmk azure lion #yandere

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 2 to help people avoid the topic if needed.

1. Idc, people who don’t dress and photograph YOSDs like children are creepy af. If you’re dressing your YOSD in lingerie that’s weird as hell and gross.

~Anonymous

2. "child sex sells" what the fuck is wrong with you? shut the fuck up. touch grass. see light. no the hell it does not. can you be fucking normal for five goddamn minutes? god just delete tumblr and get the fuck away from this and all other hobbies you are the worst sort of human being and i hope you get the help you desperately need because you are seeing child abuse in everything and that, i promise you, is a freakass problem to have. why are you like this???

~Anonymous

3. did NOT want to read the vomitous take of "ch*ld s*x sells" on the doll blog today!!!

~Anonymous

4. fandoms full of """child abuse"""

hi mod it's me again, i'm sorry in advance but this fucking topic makes me actually furious and as long as the most sheltered infants on earth continue to submit brain-dead takes on this subject, i'm going to keep showing up in your dms. CW for discussion of actual abuse, hard subjects in general, etc.

(i would put the read more here) [Mod: I hope you don't mind this format instead Anon, this confession deserves its own post but I want to shield readers from the topic if possible with the batchposting 💜]

ok but that's just it, as a fucking csa survivor, most of the "fandoms full of CSA" literally! have none of that! whatsoever! in any capacity! you shitty godforsaken little heathens call sfw romance between two fictional teenagers in a tv show incest-coded, you call grown ass-adults in animated works "child-coded" and justify that as the same as goddamn ABUSE OF REAL LIFE HUMAN BEINGS, and you doxx creators and send them death threats and clog up report lines for real life actual human victims about your fictional bullshit. you are the worst and i want you and anyone who reads this and feels offended by this description to know that you are helping no one and annoying everyone.

do you know what real victims are victimized by? not fiction. not any fiction. not inanimate objects! literally write a story about fictional children being victimized for the plot, and it will not hurt me. if it hurts you, fair! stop reading it. go outside. your Personal Discomfort is not you being abused. learn the fucking difference perhaps! it will not make me... do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this without getting so extremely goddamn personal? do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to have this discussion over and over and over? do you realize that roughly 10 years ago everyone with a braincell agreed on this point and it's only the last decade that people have been so radicalized to think that wrongthink is real? no, of course not, because most of the people who believe that fiction and reality are 1:1 in how one affects the other have no practical experience with any of the subjects upon which they have the audacity to speak.

listen. i am not going to go into my upbringing. i am not going to tell you what it was like to be raised in a household like mine where actual abuse was genuinely normalized. all i will say is that i was raised in a culture where this sort of abuse was normal and certain types of relationships between adults and minors were considered... sanctioned by the powers that be. are you picking up what i'm laying down? do not talk to me about your good intentions. the fucking argument that fictional content, drawings and toys and all that other inconsequential shit, that it's tantamount to a crime? buddy. bestie! amigo! compadre! that's the same logic that was used to make sure my upbringing was as sheltered and controlled as possible so that the "corrupting influences" of the outside world didn't give us the "wrong ideas". like i truly don't know how you did it but you've reinvented the toxic mindset i grew up hearing! and you are completely blind to it. boggles my fucking brain.

i just want to shake the people who say this shit with a straight face. "wow so violent op maybe you're the toxic one" yeah boy i'm toxic i've been in therapy for most of my life and will continue to be until i am dead. the fucking DRAWING CARTOON PORN IS INDOCTRINATING MINORS WRITING StORIES WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN IS THE SAME AS HARMING A REAL HUMAN crowd are just the same religious wrongthink crowd with a more recent birth-year and a rainbow hat. "anyone can say anything online i don't believe you" cool i don't give a shit. how do you want me to prove it, doxxing myself? you wanna see the fucking recordings anon? think before you speak. first time for everything.

i like this hobby. i enjoy my dumb little dolls and their stupid little faces, i enjoy the peace in changing their style and redoing their faceups, i enjoy being able to represent a diversity of appearances, identities, to make everyone queer and slutty because i'm making up for the lost time in my life where that was not on the table for me. i do Not fucking relish seeing the braindead anti arguments creeping into this hobby and shitting up another thing that myself and other survivors would like to enjoy in peace and quiet.

so let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, even though no one who needs to hear it will bother to listen to the words of a survivor because it goes against your superiority complex against those nasty fiction enjoyers:

shut the fuck up.

sincerely, god, everyone, and especially survivors of CSA and other abuse against minors.

~Anonymous

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