#truly sad for Rin in a way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moominsuki · 1 year

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✎ᝰ ITOSHI RIN ; — he promised he would never make you sad. even new promises can be born out of broken ones.

࿄ ! warnings — gn!reader except for the usage of ‘girl’, angst & lots of comfort. sfw! / note. my first time writing for rin so go easy on me :,} he makes my heart so warm. enjoy lovies <3

arguments with rin were akin to a battlefield. it hurts more than anything when he spits venom in your face, relaying words that should never be said by a man to his woman.

perhaps it’s the fact that you know him so deeply that reassures a hopeful part of you - a part of you that loves the dark, teal-hued haired man. it’s so tumultuous the way rin can go from zero to a hundred in seconds and suddenly, you’re walking on egg shells around him.

this time though, he knows for certain he’s fucked up. he can see it in the way fat tears run down the softness of your pink cheeks, and in the way that you relinquish all your weaponry, baring only a white flag and your soul:

“you’re right, rin. what do i know?”

it’s been a day and half and rin feels like hot garbage. he’s taking advantage of every half time to see if you’d message him first and his fingers always hover and twitch over the keyboard before the screen inevitably turns dark at his lack of activity and all he can see is his own tired and regretful face staring right back at him.

it was always you who'd reach out and, while he would seldom admit this to anyone, you were a constant in his life, the one person who understood him better than even himself. and now, he could feel you slipping out of his grasp, feeling a sense of despair creeping in.

he’s moving like he’s on auto pilot for the tedious remainder of his practice and he’s realised that you both haven’t gone this long without speaking in a long while and it sucks. why wouldn’t you understand that he’s a working man? he - you both knew that this was complicated. he was a professional footballer now - on the precipice of surpassing his older brother, and could you truly understand all the pressures and expectations that came with it?

rin doesn’t even know the answer to that anymore. though, what he does know is that he’s treated a good girl bad. and he’d be damned if he let his inferiority get in the way of loving you like you deserve.

“rin? you good, bro? you look like shit.” says isagi and rin scoffs before grabbing the black haired man by his shirt and pulling him close.

“what the fu-?!”

“tell coach i’ll be right back. something’s come up.”

rin speeds out the building before anyone can protest, taking nothing but his desire for you. he just hopes he gets there on time.

but it’s not like you’re doing anything particularly profound yourself. having called sick from university for a second day in the row, you’re eating leftover curry from the nights before... the nights when you and rin were cuddled up and you were spoon feeding him this exact meal.

you couldn’t stop the tears from dribbling down your face and right into your bowl. you hate that idiot. you hate that your heart beats for him and him only, even though he makes you feel like this on the bad days.

‘but there shouldn’t be any bad days,’ you think and the wrists of your sweater mop up any salty tears and snot from your face.

you can’t help but wonder if this was a sign from the universe - if you were destined to go your separate ways, to become nothing more than distant memories of a simpler time, a time in which rin would’ve ate glass if it meant he’d never see you cry again.

“you don’t have to do that, idiot,” you giggle, “though it would be a good punishment. are you manifesting that for yourself?”

rin shakes his head that’s kneading against your bare tummy, your t-shirt having been ridden up so he could press his cheek against the warm skin of your belly.

“just shut up… i would do a lot of things so that you’d never cry,” he grumbles cutely, ears red and you run your fingers through his hair as he lets out a puff of air.

“i’ll hold you to that, rinnie.”

three hard knocks against your front door throws you out of your reminiscing and you quickly wipe and pat at your face as hard as you can to brush away any remnants of a sadness-fuelled crying session before padding away to open at the door.

“hi - oh.”

you don’t know why you’re so surprised to see him but to see him like this? all sweated up, out of breath and pink in the face were all symptoms that were reserved for his football practice. the rin you knew would never sacrifice his prime training hours just to see you-

“just give me a minute. you - you don’t have to let me in. but i just wanted to say i love you, y/n. and you deserve better than - than, i don’t even want to say it,” rambles rin, who’s short of breath and he doesn’t know if it’s from running all the way over to see you or if it’s from trying not to get distracted by how devastatingly gorgeous you look, even when he’s the reason for your heartbreak. you’re wearing the sweater that he got you and your eyes are all doe-eyed and glassy and your plump lips are pursed together.

“but i’ll say it anyway because it needs to come from me. you deserve better than me. and i’ll still want you regardless, even though i don’t deserve you. and i’m sorry. i’d still eat glass even if you want me to but it still wouldn’t be enough. i’m sorry.”

rin exhales loudly and closes his eyes for a moment so he doesn’t have to see the hurt on your face but all it does it prevent the anticipation of seeing your arms fly over his waist.

“you’re such an idiot, rin,” you sob, face stuffed in his jersey and he all but wraps two strong arms around and rests his face into your hair, wanting - needing to be engulfed by everything that you are.

“i still hate you for making me sad,” you say, all muffled and sniffly and he breathes out a little harshly at that, wincing but he knows he deserves more than a few pointed words from you.

“i hate myself for making you sad,” he murmurs and you sniffle even more.

“you should definitely eat glass after this,” you mumble and rin presses his lips into the crown of your head and hums.

“as long as it’s made by you.”

“shut up… you should, sniff, go back to practice,” you whisper after pulling your face from the comfort of your boyfriend’s warm and toned body.

“you’re sure you don’t want me to stay?” rin frowns and for the first time in almost three days does he see a beautiful grin take up your face and he has to stop himself crumbling into the floor while you nod fervently.

“seriously, you should go. i don’t want to be the reason why bachira and isagi start going off on you,” you giggle and rin’s lips upturn slightly and he lets out a half chuckle.

“yeah, you’re right. but i won’t be too long so… wait for me?”

“…ok,” you bite your bottom lip and rin holds back the dire urge to kiss you but given the circumstances, he decides not to overstep, already elated that you still want him in spite of his behaviour.

he nods again and goes to leave the vestibule of your home when you pull his arm back.

the dark haired man turns to look at you in confusion, “what-” but he is merely interrupted by your hands that grab at his neck and the push of your lips onto his own.

the way rin kisses back in reciprocity is almost instantaneous and too wild for you to keep up as his hands splay themselves across the small of your back to your waist. your mouth tastes like a faint hue of katsu curry and even so, rin can’t help but slot his lips over yours. you eventually throw your arms around his neck to get impossibly closer to the man and even though he’s smells vaguely sweaty, you can’t help but be addicted to the scent anyway. especially when he holds you like he can’t get enough of you and it makes a fire rumble in the pits of your belly.

“i don’t hate you by the way,” you say when you break apart the kiss to whisper on his lips and he hums, all placant and appeased from being in your arms.

“i know,” and rin leans down to kiss at you one last time and you push him away playfully.

“you should definitely go now. they’re gonna be on you when you come back,” you twinkle and rin can’t help but mirror the soft expression that sits on your face.

“i’ll see you later, y/n,” he nods, taking your knuckles to his mouth, and the action makes you roll your eyes and he smirks this time around.

“okay, okay, i’m gone.”

when you finally get to shut the door behind you, you saunter off to the couch to see a notification light up your phone.

rinnie <3: on my way back. i love you.

a salty droplet hits your phone screen but this time, it’s not a cause of sadness; more so, a cause of adoration for the idiot. your idiot.

you: i love you too, rinnie :) have a good rest of your practice!

the striker has missed approximately 30 minutes of practice by the time he languidly strolls through to the pitch and multiple sharp eyes land on him - despite his attempt at blending in to make it seem like he never left.

to say that the guys on the team lambasted him would be an understatement. rin makes a mental promise to never induce sadness in you again, lest he face the wrath of his annoying teammates. though he doesn’t really care what those idiots think.

he’d run out of a million more games if it meant he needed to make things right with you.

#blue lock #not proofread hehe #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #rin itoshi x reader #rin x reader #rin angst #rin fluff #itoshi rin x reader #bllk fluff #bllk angst #✎𓂃stamped: (blue lock)。°˖⌕#༝˚૮ .♡ rin

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kissagii · 3 months

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Your brothers are dumb, but Isagi is always your number one fan.

cw: gender neutral reader, 2.4k words, reader is rin & sae's musically gifted sibling, silly isagi, obscene amounts of pining, i don't know how music competitions work lol

@celestair it's here!!!! thank you so much for the fabulous prompt <3

“So, you’re on next, how do you feel?” Your friend Yuki asks, giving you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. The performer before you is wrapping up his piece, and your turn on stage is approaching far too quickly.

“Were they there?” You whisper, completely ignoring her question.

“Didn’t see ‘em,” Yuki sighs, “But hey, you can’t see anything from up on that stage, don’t give up just yet.”

Despite her attempts at encouragement, you both know the truth. They aren’t there. They never are. Even now, as you prepare to step onstage in the final round of a national piano competition, your two soccer-obsessed brothers are nowhere to be found. You should’ve expected that from the start when the most they could offer to your invitation was “ok.”

How many soccer games have you attended by now? How many hours have you spent in the sweltering heat, watching your brothers run up and down a field kicking a ball around? And despite all that, they have yet to deem one of your music events as worth their time. You’re half sure the reason they neglected to arrive was because neither one would be caught dead sitting in the same room as the other. It’s always a competition with those two – a test to see who could be the better soccer player, the worse brother – and you’re simply caught in the crossfire as you pursue your own wholly different passions.

But now, unfortunately, there’s only one thing to do: go out on stage, play your heart out, and hope that maybe, just maybe, you’ll get a scrap of recognition from one of the fools who shared your last name.

“Break a leg. And don’t let your shitty brothers get to you,” Yuki says, nudging you out onto the stage as the previous performer exited past you.

When you walk onstage there is no announcement of your name, no applause. There never is. Just a silence so thick it could be cut with a knife as the audience watches with judging eyes, anticipating eyes, and… hopeful eyes? The stage feels different today, fresh and pleasantly cool, as if the crushing expectations are lifted ever so slightly.

Then you see him. It’s just a glance, an impression of an individual, a hint of green and black in your periphery. But when he sees you it’s earth-shattering. He can breathe again – but only one barely-muffled gasp, because you’re quick to steal the air from his lungs as his heart begins to inexplicably race. Isagi has been in the same audience seat many times by now – the same seat every time, for his favorite view – yet every time he sees you walk out onto that stage it’s like rebirth, a preparation for the waves of joy and sadness and admiration and, dare he say it, love, that would wash over him as you played. All he has to hope is that you know he’s there, watching like he always is. And for the first time, you know – you deeply, truly, know – someone is out there watching you.

For this competition, you chose Liszt’s Un Sospiro. After mastering the technique, you spent hours of practice imbuing the piece with a thousand emotions, a thousand ways to sigh, and yet none of them felt quite right. So in the ten seconds before your fingers hit the keys, you have a decision to make.

Yoichi.

Of course, how could you forget?

Without a moment’s hesitation, you begin to play, the notes dancing with the image in your mind. Simply the thought of him makes your heart race in time with the arpeggios, your measured breaths falling out of time as you let the music wash over you. The emotion flows so naturally you’re not sure if you’re pushing them into the music or if the music is pulling them out of you, a different one for each phrase, the joy and fear and longing and hope and desperation. You could practically see them, figures of light in every color dancing together across the stage and out into the audience, seeking out their target.

They more than find their target: they crash into him like unceasing waves. Each one slightly different than the last, yet all so familiar; a language without words, yet each phrase he understands clearly.

Is it five minutes, one, or thirty? Time begins to blur, everything fading to soft pink and green and orange and blue, colors and sounds existing independently of earthly constraints. It’s transcendental, almost, the room immersed in a lovestruck state of reverie until the final notes echo through the auditorium.

By the end of the piece his chest is aching, and yours is aching too. The exhilaration hardly makes sense – were you not full of worry only minutes ago? Or had it been an eternity since anything other than Yoichi was on your mind? Adrenaline pulsing through your veins makes your head spin as you attempt to process your own performance. Oh, how unreal it felt. It had been a long time since you last felt so moved by your own playing… yes, truly a long time.

The audience applauds with the required politeness, if not a bit louder than usual. None of it falls on your ears, though. You’re too busy staring at Isagi’s distant face as he gazes back at you with sparkling cobalt eyes. He nearly forgets to clap, sitting so unblinkingly still that those in the seats next to him wonder if he’s alright. He’s more than alright – his mind is racing in the same way it does when he scores a goal, and it’s taking every ounce of self-control he has to keep him from running to you now.

As soon as you’re backstage, Yuki barrels into you, earning a few miffed glares from the last few performers preparing to go on. “Oh my god, that was amazing!” She whisper-yells, “I’ve never heard you play like that! See, I knew you’d do just fine without them in the audience.”

Right. Them. You had forgotten about them while onstage.

“I think I’ve found someone else worth playing for,” You murmur, half to yourself. For the first time, you didn’t really mind that your brothers hadn’t been there. Of course, it would’ve been nice, but without them… without them, you had made magic. You can make magic.

Yuki smiles brightly, the way she always does. “You’ve gotta tell me everything. And quickly, so as soon as this shindig is over you can head out and see your loverboy.”

“How’d you know that’s what it was?”

“Trust me, it was obvious. I’m pretty sure everyone knew.”

So, of course, you tell her everything. And as soon as the final round of applause echoes down the hallway, you’re getting pushed toward the door, standing nervously in the auditorium lobby until a familiar face emerges from the exit doors.

You see him first, which means you get to watch in real-time as he sees you and immediately lights up like a kid in a candy store. It’s his third epiphany of the day, and the only thing he can think to do is run toward you, frantically apologizing to strangers as he weaves through the crowd. Before you can even greet him or thank him for coming, he thrusts a large bouquet of flowers into your hands.

“You did amazing! Your music is like magic and I think I might be in love with you!” Isagi blurts out.

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry, that was probably tactless. No, it was definitely tactless. I’m sorry. It’s just, I saw you up there and I heard you play and it was like the music was talking to me and it was saying, oh, by the way, you have feelings for them and it’s actually ridiculous that you didn’t notice earlier because you’re absolutely whipped, y’know? Is that weird?”

You can’t help but chuckle at his unrestrained reaction, the genuineness in his tone. “No, it’s not weird at all.”

“It’s not?” He asks, breathing out a sigh of relief.

“Of course not. It means you heard what I was trying to tell you.”

It’s his turn to be surprised, and he lets out a soft, confused, “Eh?”

“I knew I wouldn’t be able to confess to you directly, so I did it the only way I knew how. Yoichi, will you go out with me?”

“Yes! Absolutely!” He beams, smiling wider than you’ve ever seen him smile before; little wrinkles appear next to his eyes and his slightly crooked teeth are on full display. Shyly, he asks: “Could I hug you?”

“Please do,” you say, opening your arms to let him wrap his tightly around you. For a moment you stand in silence (not true silence, of course, because the room is full of people) and feel his heartbeat hammering against your chest. He feels your heartbeat too, he swears he can hear it over the noise.

“Thank you for coming, Yoichi,” You whisper, gripping the flower bouquet tightly, “It means a lot to me that you could be here.”

He hugs you tighter, so tight it feels like your ribs might crack in his grip. “Of course. You always come to my big games, there’s no way I’d let myself miss one of your big events. Speaking of that, do you know when the results come out?”

Though you’d like to keep hugging him forever, you let go and check the time.

“They’ll let us back into the auditorium in an hour, though they never seem to announce the winners on time.”

“In that case, can I take you out on a date while we wait? Unless you already made plans to wait with someone else… ahh, I really should’ve thought this out more.” Isagi scratches the back of his neck with an awkward smile, a nervous habit of his that never seems to lose its charm.

“Oh, no, I don’t have plans. I’m sure Yuki’s already gone off with her boyfriend, and you’re the only person I really know who showed up to watch. Spending the hour with you is a serious step up from waiting alone.”

“Let’s go then! There’s a cute café just down the road if you’re hungry, or we could go walk around the mall if you’d prefer.”

Isagi lets you lead for the hour, making it a bit of an early celebration. Because while the results aren’t out just yet, he’s entirely sure that your performance is worth a hundred gold medals and more. Anything you want to do is good enough for him, even if it’s something as simple as window shopping in formal wear, and he does everything in his power to make sure he’s the best new boyfriend possible. After all, he’s won at life, hasn’t he? Because now he gets to date you – he gets to give you flowers and cheer for you and hold your hand and make you smile.

As you sit in the adjacent seats waiting for the results to be announced, he rubs his finger affectionately over your thumb.

“See, I told you they’d start late,” You whisper with a laugh.

“They must’ve realized their trophy wasn’t big enough to properly congratulate you,” He whispers back.

“Hey, don’t say things like that! I haven’t won yet.”

“I don’t think you witnessed yourself perform. You did amazing.”

“And you’re not a musician, so you’re not qualified to decide who won.”

“Even an untrained ear can tell you were the best up there. Trust me.”

Before you can come up with a witty reply, the head judge steps up to the podium on stage, holding a single sheet of paper in her hand. She gives a short speech – something about appreciating the hard work of the competitors – but neither you nor Isagi hear half of what she says. The room is silent waiting for the top three to be announced.

“In third place,” The Judge calmly says into the microphone, “Matsuoka Yuki.”

Immediately you burst into cheers, hastily untangling your hand from Isagi’s so you can applaud your friend. Her performance had been stunning, and she’s more than deserving of the prestigious accomplishment.

“In second place,” The Judge continues, once the applause quiets down, “Watanabe Shigeru.”

Another talented performer, of course. He had won his fair share of competitions, and the two of you had stood together on the winner’s stage more than once. As soon as you finish applauding, Isagi grabs your hand and squeezes tightly, as if to say the Judge will call your name next, I just know she will.

The moment you spent months waiting for is here. Either your hours of rehearsal and stress and aching hands paid off, or they didn’t. And the only thing between you and knowing was one sentence from the Head Judge’s mouth.

“Finally, in first place, winner of the Japan National Piano Competition, Itoshi Y/n.”

I’ve won. It’s as if you’re up on that stage once more, the way that the room explodes into applause like thunder. Isagi is shouting and shaking you by the shoulders – he really couldn’t be prouder of you. He knew all along, it seems, that your indirect confession was worth a gold medal from the organization and a thousand more in his heart.

The head judge invites the winners up to the stage, and Isagi nearly pushes you out of your seat to receive your award. Yuki meets you onstage, whispering her polite but excited congratulations to you. You return them hurriedly before taking your place on stage to be presented with your trophy. The process of handshakes and photographs feels like it takes forever when all you and Isagi want is to spend the rest of the afternoon together in celebration.

Isagi meets you in the auditorium lobby again, and he presents you with the same bouquet of flowers a second time. “You won! You actually won! I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you, Yoichi,” You say, grasping his hand with your free one, “Thank you for being here to inspire me. Now c’mon, let’s go celebrate!”

The rest of the afternoon is blissful, almost unreal, just you and Isagi enjoying the sweetness of victory and love. When your phone begins receiving text message after text message you can hardly be bothered to reply immediately, even when you get the message you nearly spent the whole day waiting for.

rin: good job on the competition or wtv

isagi 💚

#imagine ⋆｡°✩#isagi x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi x gn reader #isagi x gender neutral reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #isagi x you #isagi x y/n #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x gender neutral reader

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jams-sims · 3 months

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Because its so late, I think I can say this. As much as I fucking hate purgatory. As a DM to a story I think its the most natural out for characters and Muns. Oh! my character can have either lived or died on the purg island? Do I feel like coming back? If the answer no. Easy out, no over the top feeling, no need to do a final stream if I dont want to. Just a stark sad tragic exit that leaves it mark. Because no one expected people to die on this silly fucking island. But deaths, mark very important and poignant moments. The island is curel and its consuming its islanders.

Max's death is one of sacrifice for his friends and the eggs. He was in a hole of loneliness, I think that loneliness took him as well. But I think qMax's death was a simple stepping stone while q!jaiden death will be a full on turn. See-

Jaiden death is probably the most fitting for her character because it is the most tragic. Q!Jaiden died when bobby died. She speant her days in a home just cluttered with his images and his likeness. She was being used by the Feds and I think deep down she knew that. Her connections were severed do to grief, her platonic husband while also spiraling found hope. He got married had a new kid and while he made sure people put some respect on her name when it came to Bobby. He had moved somewhere she could not get to him.

An in a way, I think that's all she truly needed. Her last connection, Roier was happy living his full life in a castle. An what did she have to go back to? A sunset in a house full of memories in a field of flowers surrounded by nothing. The week spent in purgatory felt like a century of suffering.

Something in her finally broke and maybe she didn't make it to the final part where everyone else was. Maybe she walked slowly, legs and feet numb. An she got to a clearing, the world is doused in chaos once again. An her ears are rinning with sirens. An all of it fades away as she stops, she stops limping along, she falls back into sitting on the cold earth.

She realizes their nothing waiting for her back on the island. What was the rush for? What was all the screaming and crying, the begging the longing. She's tired. She so tired of it all. All of it and what was it for? A new start that would never truly be hers.

She relax for the first time in a long time and the sunset looks beautiful. And she hopes that roier stays happy that all the eggs get to live happy and healthy lives.

She doesn't even hear the explosion. She closes her eyes. An when she opens them she in the air, weightless and flying. She has food she hasn't eaten in a long time. She tells Bobby not to worry, she happy now. Only to feel a swift kick to her shins. As Bobby takes her hand and she gets to tell him about all the thing she did after his passing.

She finally get to go back home.

#qsmp #jaiden animations #qsmp roier #fucking sobbing while writing this #qsmp jaiden #roier

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kabru-of-utaya · 1 month

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The thing for me with the Kabru and Laios scene in ch.76 is that I think making it romantic takes something fundamentally away from it and away from Kabru's character arc. However you choose to see their relationship, personally, I don't see them as romantic- I think it has to be exclusively a confession of friendship and one of the very very few times in the manga that Kabru is ever genuine. It's so fucked up how we went from the beginning when Kabru said he doesn't trust the Toudens, he thinks they're doing something shady, he thinks they're malicious, he doesn't trust Laios, to now such desperation that he's chasing after him and grabbing onto his clothes like a child begging him to stop and listen to him. It's such a sad display considering how Kabru is always so well put together. Him getting so desperate that he admits how all he ever wanted was to be Laios's friend, and then his look of horror as he realizes he admitted something he never wanted to admit, he was vulnerable without wanting to be? Then for Laios to turn around and say he was lying, that there were better ways to make friends, and that he didn't have time for this conversation. Oh, it hurts so bad. Kabru has no real friends, not really. Only Rin has gotten close enough to be considered it, he has been a hated child all his life, he has never fit in anywhere. You would never guess it with the way he acts, with his casually confident he is and how personable he is, but he didn't fit in from the moment he was born. No one truly knows him. How lonely to be disowned and hated by all your family besides your mother, to lose your mother when you were still so young, to be taken to a country where no one recognized you as someone to be respected because of your life span, to not be allowed to take on dungeons how you wanted to because you weren't good enough in the elves eyes. Even now, even when he wanted to make friends, Laios and Falin never noticed him, never paid attention, never listened, and what is Laios doing in that scene beside the exact same thing. He tried to shut down Kabru so many times, to the point that Kabru had to force him to listen by way of physical force. How sad for such a horrifying admittance to simply be, "I always wanted to be your friend". I think taking that scene to be a lead-in for romance undermines how truly sad and lonely Kabru's life has been leading to this moment where such a gutwrenching confession is just that of wanting a friend.

#im sorry l4bru nation don't kill me #i just think hes so important to me and I think it was honestly such an important scene for his character #it was a moment of true genuine vulnerability from him #and how sad that it was just wanting to be someones friend #ohhhh kabru i would be your friend I promise #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dunmeshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #kabru #kabru of utaya #thoughts

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hyomaluvr · 1 year

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Itoshi Sae - NSFW Alphabet

cw // voyeurism, afab!reader, bdsm, objectification, non proof read

Aftercare: Even deep into your relationship, Sae is the silent affection type. His brother will budge after a bit and pamper his partner, but Sae will just silently throw a towel at your face and leave. You’re confused and a little sad, but he shortly after comes back with a water bottle and some aspirin. “Drink it.” You’re touched, but even more confused now. “What’s the medicine for, Sae?”

“So it’ll be easier for you to shake off the pain you’re gonna feel when you walk tomorrow.”

Body parts: He loves his dick honestly. It may sound arrogant and shallow, but in his defense, he’s got a nice one. When he takes any kind of suggestive picture rest assured it’ll be in a way that shows it off. Be it just being able to see it clearly in his sweats with his shirt of, or a picture of him fisting his cum covered cock. As for you, he loves your ass. If no one he cares about seeing is there he’ll grab your ass whenever. He’s not concerned about the press talking about it, but if Rin was there it’d be gross. Isagi Yoichi though…

Cum: Sae usually isn’t going to cum in you more than once. He doesn’t particularly even care if you swallow it. However if he’s mad or especially riled up by any teasing or bratty behavior, he’s cumming in you as many times as it takes before he’s satisfied, even if your sopping cunt is beginning to ache from all the orgasms he’s given you…

Dirty secret: The night he’d really come to terms with the fact that all he wanted to do with his spare time was be with you (so tepid…) was one he’d never forget. He was having such a damn good dream; playing a match that actually managed to rekindle that monster in his heart when all of a sudden he’s winning and you’re taking him back to his room and sitting on his face, praising him for what a good job he did. Your hands slid down his length while he was buried in your folds, eating you like a starved man. It wasn’t until he woke up that he realized his boxers were…sticky? Shit, he really couldn’t get out of this one.

Experience: Sae’s slept with plenty of girls. He’s never felt a single thing for them though, and he’s never felt particularly lustful towards them. Porn did it for him sometimes, but it wasn’t great. However when he’s gotten to you, it just pisses him off how unreasonably down bad is for you.

Favorite position: Anything on top. Doggy, missionary, practically bear hugging you as he fucked you from the back— you name it. He also likes positions that make him carry you. He likes to work for it a little bit.

Goofy: Of course Sae is serious during sex, is anyone surprised? However if you tease him too much he’ll have fun putting you in your place. So while it’s pretty serious for you, Sae is elated, laughing sadistically over top of you.

Hair: He’s messily trimmed. Decently well groomed in general but doesn’t shave that often.

Intimacy: Sae’s a very intimate person with you, and it’s mostly for selfish reasons. You’re the only person who’s ever made him feel this good, and it just feels better and better when you’re pliant and sweet under his hands. Still, there are times that are different than the others. Making love happens when Sae earnestly, truly needs you to feel him reaching to your heart. It’s a gentle reminder that he’s always here and that you were the one person who pushed passed his defenses like it was nothing and made your way into his life for good. He was being vulnerable and taking his chance on you. I love you, I love you, I love you— with each thrust, he tries to convey that to you.

Jack off: Jerks off in the shower. He says it feels gross to do it and not wash off after. It’s about efficiency, not pleasure. He doesn’t have time for this, and if he indulges his thoughts he’ll be here all day, so typically the same position: left hand pressed against the shower wall, right wrapped around his dick. It takes like four minutes.

Kinks: Spanking, biting, cock warming, overstimulation, excessive hickies, voyeurism.

Location: On an empty pitch with you wearing his jersey. He’s so possessive over you that he almost wishes there were people filling the stands to see how he was fucking you and they never would. Otherwise, any other time you’re wearing his clothes he doesn’t care where.

Motivation: Sae thinks it’s hot when people stare at you two in public. He also thinks it’s really hot when you initiate. He doesn’t mind he slapped around by you a little bit as long as he doesn’t have to submit. These three things really do it for him.

No: Anything overly messy is a no. Also, keep any Itoshi brother threesomes AWAY from him for extremely understandable reasons!

Oral: He prefers receiving than giving but eating you out is a sacred activity anyway so he’s not always in the mood (after all, that stupid dream was a sexual awakening for him). Sorry, but if he’s got your consent he’s a head pusher. He wants to face fuck you more than anything, and it’s the scenario he imagines when he’s jerking it.

Pace: Always fast. It doesn’t matter if it’s truly intimate sex or raw dogging you balls deep the pace will be fast. He has something he wants and he’ll get it.

Quickie: Shit, he loves quickies. If Sae ever uses/hires someone to drive him in a car, he might take you back there with you in his lap so ‘inconspicuously’ as he put it. Morning sex, ‘I’m just stopping by for my keys’ sex, whatever you want he’ll make it happen. He’s not that innocent in this either.

Risk: Yes. See above is somehow still unclear

Stamina: He can go for much, much longer than you could ever consistency go. That’s why unless he’s feral for you he’s only going to go one round. If he wants nothing more than to rearrange your guts, your hips and cervix will be feeling it for a while…

Toys: “Huh? Toys? You’re interested in that kind of crap?” Honestly he’s just jealous of the fact that something that isn’t him is going to be making you feel good. Still, he’ll buy whatever you want since he doesn’t win any. Personally, the ones he really likes are the ball gags, collars, and vibrators. You look so cute when you’re pathetic.

Unfair: He’ll almost always be teasing you during sex. He likes the push and pull of whether or not to give you the orgasm you’re so desperately craving for. Huh, he could make you do anything couldn’t he? It was so cute it made his head spin. If you give him the time, he’ll break you.

Volume: Sae really likes to mess with you and make fun of you by moaning obscenely loudly, sounding like he’s on the verge of ahegao. He just likes your reaction really— too predictable. In reality, it’s not those loud exclamations of pleasure. Arguably better than that, it’s his shaky breaths, grunts of your name, swear words that spill from his lips— all the things he can’t control when he’s faced with the most delicious meal of his life.

Wild card: Sae waited to have sex with you until you finally managed to open his tightly locked heart. You’ve always had a special place in his heart, ever since that first day you met when you annoyed the hell out of him. He kind of wanted to flick your forehead as hard as he could. He refused to let himself think of you in a perverted way until one day you met up and were drenched from the rain. He let you shower and was reduced to just deep breaths and pursed lips to try to force any lewd thoughts out of his mind as he sat on his bed. That didn’t work out at all.

X-ray: Sae’s always been kinda hung for the average, nowadays totaling in at about 9 inches. He used to boast his size childishly around his brother when he was younger (Rin’s honestly still a little insecure). He’s not particularly big in terms of muscle, but he is extremely muscular and toned regardless of how it seems. Still, he’s got biceps thrice as big as yours and two very distinct pillows on his chest, soft but firm in shape. Tight ass, defined calves. Just a fine man.

Yearning: Always, but also not often. He always wants you, he’d ditch practice if you asked for a quickie in a heartbeat. But when it gets too much to bear and he gets really serious about what he wants it’s obvious to everyone around. You’re going to be inseparable tonight. You’re going to be his darling little toy, and he knows that you’re yearning for it too.

Zzz: He usually stays up after. He’ll get up, shower, grab something to eat, wash his face, watch youtube, and then go to sleep two hours later. A part of it is a bit of a guilty pleasure— he likes to see you sleeping soundly in his bed when he peeks through the door. Something about it just sets his heart aflame. Mostly though, it’s because after you two are done he feels the best he’s felt honestly probably since the last time you did it. *He’s motivated, and has his partner to dream alongside him. So…it’s only natural he’d like to watch them dream too, right? God, that was so cheesy*, Sae thinks to himself, dry chuckling as he throws himself under the covers with you.

#i hope the food is good #blue lock #bllk #bluelock #itoshi sae #sae itoshi x reader #blue lock smut #itoshi sae smut #ブルーロック #my work #alphabet

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respectthepetty · 6 months

Text

Twins' Character List

The Leads

Sprite

Jiu-jitsu competitor

Tense relationship with his father

Will take Zee's place on the volleyball team

Zee

Volleyball player

Tense relationship with everyone

Will be in a coma

First

Plays volleyball with Zee, who he hates

Will end up loving Sprite but will think it's Zee

The Supports

Thun

Sprite's friend from jiu-jitsu

Has a crush on Sam

The Parents

Dad

Coach of the jiu-jitsu team

Forced to take Sprite when the parents split

Mom

Her name is Rin, and she has played every BL boy's mom

Chose to take Zee when the parents split

The Team

Sam

Youngest member of the team

Most likely has a crush on Zee

Tom

Jokes around a lot

Friendly with Sam and roommates with him

Jack

Captain of the team

Consistently annoyed with Mike

Mike

Flirting his way into a relationship with Jack

Not good at receiving

Deddeaw

The spiritual one

Rooming with Ko(h)

The Subs

Ko(h)

Rooming with the Deddeaw

Losing his mind because of it

Tono

Tono is in the middle, looking up, like he is shocked he made it

Curly hair did not make the team *sad face*

Max, Kao, JJ

Max is up front, looking up sideways (also the tallest)

Kao is behind him in the middle with the normal blue-ish shirt

JJ is next to Kao in the blue jacket with his hands together

There they are holding First back, so they truly are being supportive characters!

The Ladies

Salmon

Team manager

Zee likely has a crush on her

Mina (?)

Standing next to Salmon

Possibly the assistant manager

May, Namkhing, Medploy

The fangirls

They represent Zee's NSU Volleyball fan page

Bonus:

The twins are shorter than First, and in this house, we appreciate short(er) menaces.

#twins the series #character list #thai bl #we appreciate short menaces

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rottenprincessshura100 · 3 months

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Lewin and Osceola: Chapter 148 recap and notes

Man did this one hit me in the feels.

We get the back story between Lewin and Osceola and it's intense, sad and full of love.

Osceola is ready to martyr himself to save the person he cares most about; Lightning.

Lightning is like a son to him.

In the beginning of this chapter we find Osceola, laying on the ground and near death after battling Amon. Lightning is shouting into his headset, urgently begging him to answer. Osceola is musing on the last vestiges of consciousness that Lightning seems really upset and "he lost his cool." And it's true Lightning is always cool, calm and collected, he's like Mephisto. But in this case, Osceola is very special to Lightning, he's the man that raised him and is like a father. Regardless of Lightning's normal lack of empathy, his deep love of Osceola is blatantly showing through.

Osceola has a flashback of his life. We see that he has spiritual Indigenous roots, and his family taught him about death. Death wasn't an ending to be feared, but a transition. And a person's death should have some sort of meaning, at least that's what Osceola surmised. He went out into the world trying to find what life truly meant, in order to better understand the purpose of this death. When he met his wife and had a child he thought he understood. He would provide and protect his family. Love and family were the key, the things worth fighting for. That love was worth dying for.

Sadly, his child was killed in a terrible accident. Osceola couldn't stop it, and couldn't protect his child. This caused the breakup of his marriage and Osceola lost everything he valued, his family and his self-worth.

Osceola's life parallels Shura. Both exorcists turn to alcohol after the death of a loved one. When Shiro died, Shura was completely lost. Shiro was closest thing to family Shura ever had. Without Shiro she also could not fulfill her promise to Hachiro and was left in limbo.

Osceola, also couldn't be spiritually fulfilled and have a meaningful death. He had no-one to protect, no family to fight for.

Luckily both Shura and Osceola were able to find a life worth living. Shura became a parent/mentor to Yukio and Rin. And Osceola was given the task of mentoring Lewin Light.

Lewin had a terrible childhood, and seemed destitute, drawing parallels to Yuri Egin. It's possible he was raised under the supervision of former exorcists like Yuri. Yuri's caretakers were homeless people, and perhaps Lightning's were heretics.

Yuri, however, fared slightly better than Lightning. She had a much more loving family and learned empathy and love. These lessons followed her throughout her life. Sadly Lightning was chained in his basement because he caretakers didn't know how to deal with his powers and inquisitive mind.

Yuri lost her caretakers when her demon temptaint (Satan) got jealous and killed them.

But what about Lightning. It almost seems as if he killed his caretakers himself, after suffering intense abuse.

Lewin's story more aligns with Satan. The kid acts like a demon, he has the same crazy instinct to learn everything, impossible power and a lack of empathy.

And we all know what happened to Satan. Satan is mistreated and turns into a supervillain that can't be reasoned with and wants to kill all of humanity and scorch Assiah to ashes.

In order for a demon to exist in Assiah and be content, he must care about humanity and learn to coexist with them. Nurturing demons is really, really important. They do have feelings, they just don't wear them on their sleeves like humans. Loving a demon does have an impact, even if it doesn't seem that way.

Osceola is given the difficult assignment of caring for Lewin. He's a fish out of water, like Shiro was for Rin. (Don't think Mephisto isn't watching this experiment carefully!!)

Lewin states that he isn't possessed by a demon. And I believe him. I think this kid is a reincarnated version of Azazel. When Azazel no longer wanted to live in Assiah, maybe he retired his ego and passed on his heart to Lewin?

Osceola teaches the little demon kid what it means to be human. And I think a lot of it sticks. Lewin is clearly on the side of Assiah.

When we snap back to the future, we see Lewin and we don't even get a chance to read his emotion, but whatever it is, it's serious enough to scare the shit out of Bon. Lewin knows his father is ready to die, and will that cause the demon finally emerge out of Lewin? Will Lewin be the next person displaced? Will he become lost too?

Is Lightning's grip on human affection and love enough to help him weather the emotional storm that is coming? Will fighting for Assiah be enough to give him meaning?

Osceola's death will be a test.

Now we wait to see if Lewin passes that test.

Will the new Azazel be a Mephisto? Or will he be a Lucfer/Satan?

Do we have any concerns about Lightning?

Does he just tell humans what he wants them to hear?

Or does he really have feelings?

He lied about this his family... after telling the truth.

His words can be contradictions...

He also said he wanted to be a hero, loved humans and the world. He said he wasn't into revenge and liked Assiah the way it was. He didn't have a secret ambition.

What if that was a lie?

#blue exorcist #Lewin Light #Lightning #osceola redarm #mephisto pheles #shura kirigakure #yuri egin #rin okumura #yukio okumura #shiro fujimoto #blue exorcist theories

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blues824 · 1 year

Note

Can I have Ciel, Sebastian, and Claude with a fem! baker s/o who's also a vampire 🦇?

Silly, I know

It’s not silly at all! I’ve been looking forward to this one!

Ciel Phantomhive

He absolutely loves the treats you bake, but it does cause him a tinge of sadness because you weren’t able to enjoy them with him. After all, you could only consume blood and water. However, he can’t help but think about the times you could have, like feeding each other a bite of the cake you had made.

He is glad to know that you are a vampire that is on an animal-blood diet, since it would put him in a difficult position if the Queen asked him to track down and kill the vampire that had killed her subjects. This is all hypothetical, since you had not yet consumed human blood.

He finds himself getting a bit queasy when he sees you drinking the animal blood from the animal he had just eaten for dinner. Sebastian really knows how to not let an ounce of the poor creature go to waste.

You are most likely working along Bard (more Sebastian, but anyways) as the Phantomhive baker. You never cease to amaze the guests that came to visit the Manor with your creative desserts (that saved countless amounts of dinners because of the accidents that Bard, Mey-Rin, and Finny caused). You were a hero, essentially.

Not just that, but you were a protector of the household, just like Sebastian was. You just didn’t require a contract for your services. You were strong as well, along with fast. Your lack of a shadow often aided you in battle. The vampire and the demon join forces to protect the young master.

Ciel notices how your fangs are retracted most of the time, and you say it’s to make yourself seem more normal. It’s rather unfortunate that you often have to hide what you are because it wasn’t even your fault in the first place. You had told him that you were sick from smallpox in 1721 and you agreed to become a vampire when your doctor asked you if you wanted to become one just so you could survive.

Vampires were typically beautiful creatures, right? Consider Ciel entranced by you, not only by your looks but by the grace you carry yourself with. You were confident in everything, no matter what it was and that’s what the young Phantomhive master considers beautiful.

Sebastian Michaelis

He also enjoys the treats you bake, especially with a nice cup of tea to accompany them. Unfortunately, you don’t get many of these special moments with each other because he’s busy tending to the master and you’re busy baking for the house.

He understands how tempting human flesh can be… well, he’s often tempted by their souls, but same difference here. However, he will keep you on track by making sure you only consume the blood of an animal.

He doesn’t get disturbed by you drinking blood. Demons devour human souls all the time, so it’s nothing truly new. Sometimes you had to get blood on your hands before consuming the soul of the newly departed.

He does get a tad jealous whenever he sees you getting close to Bard in the kitchen. However, it is to be expected since you both worked close with each other as the baker and the cook of the Manor. He might send a bit of a glare in Baldroy’s way before checking up on you.

You both protected the Manor and the Master as best as you could. None of you really needed sleep, so you would listen for any danger. You both made quite a graceful pair in battle, and anyone who has seen the both of you in action would agree.

He doesn’t mind if your fangs are retracted or protracted. If he sees that you had forgotten about them, then he will gently remind you. Neither of you want any of the other staff members to panic about possibly being killed by you, so it’s better if you keep them away.

Also, you both are gorgeous. We all know that Sebastian is pretty, but the two of you together are on a whole other level. He had to admit to himself that you had gotten his attention by the seductive look you gave him during your interview. He already knew you were a vampire, so you let your fangs hang out as he went down the list of questions. The whole thing ended with you and him shooting flirtatious innuendos at each other.

Claude Faustus

I see him as someone who enjoys more savory foods, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like what you make. He found it quite adorable whenever you approached him with a basket of treats that you had made him.

He’s another one who understands how tempting humans can be, especially when you want to devour them. However, you are the one who needs to consume something, so he prepares cups of animal blood for you to drink.

He also doesn’t get disturbed by you drinking blood. It’s like seeing Master Alois drink orange juice: normal. You don’t need to worry about getting shy about drinking it around him because he doesn’t mind it at all.

He most definitely gets jealous whenever you start getting close to the Triplets, especially Timber because he is the Trancy Manor Chef. He always tries to lead you away from the cook just so he could have you to himself.

He tries to get you to not fight and stay inside the Manor. You are the one person/vampire that has made him actually experience emotions like love and happiness, so he would not like that to be taken away. Sure, you were immortal, but there was always the possibility of someone shoving a stake through your heart.

Every member of the staff at the Trancy Manor was a demon, so they didn’t care if you chose to let your fangs hang out. Alois didn’t mind either, considering he recruited so many demons. Claude always finds himself staring at you, especially as you run your tongue over your teeth in concentration while preparing ingredients for a recipe.

Now, this demon butler is known as ‘handsome’ rather than ‘pretty’. You were known for your preternatural beauty as a vampire. You both make a very good-looking couple. You both move with grace well beyond your years as well.

#black butler #black butler x reader #kuroshitsuji x reader #kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive x reader #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis x reader #sebastian michaelis #claude faustus x reader #claude faustus

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littleroaes · 6 months

Text

( 🌷 ) ❀˖° — ‘ ACQUAINTANCES ‘ — a list of my MOOTS ( writers and non ) who I have interacted with and fic RECS.

( 🌷 ) ❀˖° — AUTHORS NOTE : a list of my acquaintances here on tumblr! as I’m very timid, I don’t have too many interactions with some users. but the net of people here is very sweet and sincere. please please give them love!

I will update it as I get to know new people, read past works/ new works!

• LAST UPDATE : oh my god! it’s done! I think I have gathered all? don’t feel afraid to comment or something else if I missed you! It’s pretty rushed at parts, but I’ll improve on it, for the time being, I’m released it’s finally up!

➵ @blue-rainydays 💙

➵ @cloverdaisies m.list personal rec ➤ HEY CHAT! ∩^ω^∩ ↳ no one loves this fic like I love this fic! reread it a lot because it genuinely makes me so happy! i wrote it in my reblog but im so sad this yn and hj arent together lol. i would be the biggest minecraft fan if they were real →

➵ @cupidjyu m.list personal rec ➤ he’s hopeless! ↳ the fluffiest fluff that has ever fluffed! kicked my feet all the way through! juyeon's character is so entertaning to read! → other: detention for romance

➵ @everynewiee m.list ( @adorablehyunjae ) personal rec ➤ Honey - Dew Cat Cafe ↳ so cute! juyeon wears an apron and owns a cat(do I need to say more?) their pet bring them together!au !!! →

@floatingpluto

➵ @from-izzy m.list personal rec ➤ this summer… ↳ hyunjae is so patient! real love im telling you! that giddy feeling of when you feel special! It's what it gives! I wish to have someone like this hyunjae →

➵ @haet-sal m.list personal rec ➤ Cinderella Boy ↳ really creative fic! i loved the concept, had me in my seat the entire time! youre gonna feel so bad for juyeon though →

➵ @heemingyu m.list personal rec ➤ Serenade ↳ so feel good! I absolutely adore eric's and sunwoo's dynamic in this one! eric is down so bad, and i love it! → other: Rainy Days

➵ @hyungseos-cafe m.list personal rec ➤ the thought of you ↳ love this series! very easy to read since all of them are pretty short, but each one is so distinct and cute! I especially like changmins and erics! →

➵ @juyeonszn m.list (@fawnieszn/ @jungwonszn @yeonjunszn @eunseokszn )

personal rec ➤ BLAH BLAH ↳ I feel like there’s a lot of coincidences between me and this fic lol. but I do truly love it. jacob is 🫠🫠, basically all fawns fics make me feel 🫠🫠 lol →

➵ @kimsohn m.list personal rec ➤ polaroid & hearts on your sleeve ↳ polaroid is such a cute one! makes me want a jacob for myself even more! hearts on your sleeve is heart-aching, but I find it so creative! →

➵ @kpop17

➵ @leaz-kpop-life

➵ @onceuponabloom tag system! personal rec ➤ taste your lipgloss ↳ I’m so bad at describing things! but kicking my legs! very typical flirty, oops, heart fluttering vibe but I love it! →

➵ @o-onikix m.list personal rec ➤ Enchanted ↳ was some time since I read it, but I remember enjoying it! First time I wish to end a relationship with hyunjae →

@seolboba m.list personal rec ➤ 8:36 AM ↳ not tbz, but very cute! I really like rin (oc)! though I’m a kevrin stan, I really like Felix and her in this one. chans immediate leadership/ family ship is amazing! →

➵ @sungbeam m.list personal rec ➤ ain’t no romeo ↳ listend to it in speechify! a fic with so much to explore! there's so many good dynamics between characters and different elements! from humor, cutesy, fluttering and mysterious! →

➵ @winterchimez m.list ( @midnightfantasiez ) personal rec ➤ Make or Brake ↳ love changmin childhood friends to lovers! he fits it so well for some reason. really feel good fic! → other: criminal,

➵ @zzoguri m.list personal rec ➤ of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ↳ a long one, but the ending is so satisfying. every moment feels well-earned! again, changmin fits f2l so bad! I love their friend group, and jacob lowkey broke me lol →

#mutuals #moots #fic recs

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virtual-insanity28 · 1 year

Note

bllk 11 hcs on how they'd handle being broken up with because i think we need more ✨angst✨ in the fandom

Resolve and Grief

Blue Lock Headcanons

Characters | Gin Gagamaru, Jyubei Aryu, Ikki Niko, Hyoma Chigiri, Kenyu Yukimiya, Tabito Karasu, Seishiro Nagi, Meguru Bachira, Eita Otoya, Rin Itoshi, Yoichi Isagi + Shoei Baro, Reo Mikage, Yo Hiori

Warning | Angst—Breakups

Requests | OPEN and gladly taken <3

A/N | yessss, blue lock has so many possibilities for angsty stories, but nobody is willing to look at the harsh reality of ittttt lol

———————————

GAGAMARU is one who doesn’t mind relationships with people. It’s rare for him to hang out with somebody because he wanted to, so your sudden breakup with him surely leaves a bruise on his heart. He is so used to being by himself, yet you have been someone he trusted; his safe spot whenever he was struggling. It’s hard for him to adjust back to his regular habits before you came along. When he’s out on hikes alone, he can’t help but to mutter to himself softly as if you were there with him, keeping him entertained with your presence solely.

ARYU may be rather narcissistic, but he is someone who cares a lot for his friends. He isn’t necessarily an egoist, but his personality doesn’t extend as far as ignorance goes. That’s why, when you tell him you’re done with him, he…stares. Has he done something to upset you? What did he do? Were you just not ready for him? Was he…annoying you? The questions plague his mind, and he would seclude himself in a quiet room for days, pondering why you’d break up with a gorgeous man such as himself. Or maybe he wasn’t gorgeous enough…

NIKKO, as the shy yet intelligent boy he is, remains frozen upon your words. You’re breaking up with him? “But…why?” he whimpers. If you’re truly a menace and leave him shaking and crying, then you don’t deserve to live(jk/). Alas, either way, he’d bow his head down, his fluffy bangs covering his eyes, and sulk with large, hot tears running down his soft cheeks. For his coping mechanism? He wouldn’t have one. In fact, he’d be haunted by the memories he had with you, and consistently wallow about it but never to tell his friends about it. He’d hate for them to see him as a pathetic kid who can’t handle a simple breakup. Please, Nikko needs love. He deserves it. Don’t break up with this baby…

CHIGIRI is similar to Nikko…in a way. He’d watch your lips carefully, trying to process what you say with a clear and steady mind, before reaching out to your turned back, only to be greeted by air. He attempts to hold his head high, but feeling you disappear like that hits him with the harshness of reality. He’s a lot like what you see in the movies; spending a few days in his room, trying to keep himself together but failing. He’d get so bitter and snappy to people he genuinely cares for, his sister and mother even. It shocks a lot but it doesn’t at the same time. He’s Chigiri. Eventually, though, his sister and friends drag him back to his casual, less cold but still snappy demeanor he had prior to him dating you.

YUKIMIYA has dealt with a lot in his life. You breaking up with him was…surprising. He wouldn’t be as shocked as the average person, but he would ask you why you’d want to leave him. After your explanation, he’d accept it. Not without tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, though. He would never waste time to get better at soccer over a breakup, though. During practice, his teammates would catch him staring out the distance, not bothering to do drills or anything. That’s when they knew something went downhill with you and him…Add one more thing taken away from him…

KARASU is a cocky boy, but even he knows his limits. Upon your words and disappearance, he was left utterly shattered. He has dated before but all relationships ended with him in the lowest dumps possible. Not even Otoya or Yukimiya’s words of encouragement could help him. It’s only the process of time that helps Karasu. He may seem jealous or sad when he thinks about you, but he does learn to get over it and get on with his life.

NAGI moves on almost instantly. Oh? You’re breaking up? Should that concern him, or…Now, don’t take his aloofness personally. He isn’t well acquainted with normal feelings as one would expect, so a relationship overall is just like a bonus ending to him. He thinks about you, and he sometimes contemplates on texting you a video or photo that he saw since that’s what he’d usually do, but he doesn’t want to annoy you any further than what he had. He’s self-conscious but at the same time he isn’t.

BACHIRA, this poor boy…“You…what?” His voice is quiet and soft, sounding like a child as he tries to figure out the situation. He knew that he was weird. It was a reason why so many people didn’t want to be friends with him. When you wanted to date him, he was so excited that he practically squeezed you to death, and then…this. The sight of your back made him grab your hand, but he eventually let go after the distance already placed in between you two. The next few days were tormenting for him. He sat in his mother’s art office, painting pictures that portrayed his feelings(it was a coping mechanism she suggested for him), but he was always reminded of you, his best friend. Nevertheless, there would be no way possible for Bachira to forget you. Not in his wildest dreams.

OTOYA, this man would totally make a sad breakup mixtape after you broke up with him. It doesn’t matter if you were a quick date, no. Heartbreak hits this little artist hard. With Karasu and Yukimiya’s broship, he’d get back on his feet but he’d have constant reminders of you. His stoic expression wouldn’t admit his depression, though, which makes it hard for others to determine if he’s okay or not…

RIN heartbroken? What an unbelievable thing. Itoshi Rin, younger brother of famous Japanese Spain player Itoshi Sae, barely had emotions as is. He hates people, so it’s a wonder how the hell you even managed to date him. When his mother asked if he was okay after stating you weren’t together anymore, he shrugged and gave a bored stare. “They got in my way, anyways. I don’t care.” His voice, cold as ever, made his mother shiver, feeling bad for you. Rin doesn’t even think about you a single bit after your breakup. He couldn’t possibly care less. As long as it doesn’t interfere with football, he could hear the news that you died and he’d carry on perfectly fine.(Not actually. He throws an entire tantrum in his room like how he did when Sae trashed him).

ISAGI hates being left alone. Your breakup shatters him entirely. All of the things you did together, every single precious memory…just tossed out the window like that? But- How? Not even soccer can heal him from this scar, trust him, he’s already tried. He’s the ex that would text you, but then block you immediately afterwards, and then unblock you and text you again. He doesn’t do it to make you mad, he only does it because he genuinely misses you. But when enough is enough, he learns that you are gone. There’s no going back.

BAROU may seem like an intimidating person with no feelings other than greed, but he actually isn’t like that at all. Of course he does things on his own a lot, but he is probably one of the most sensitive guys out there(in Team Z at least). His nonchalance gets in the way of his public attitude, causing for him to be way more aggressive, but when alone? Oh, does this boy feel empty…What does he even do now that you’re not with him?

REO has money, popularity, and even his own fan-base. He could deal without you…can’t he? Like Nagi, you were the closest thing to a real friend. He treasured you like an equal to himself, and he even showed you his excitement over soccer. You were there for him, and now you aren’t. He doesn’t exactly know how to react to your breakup. Whenever he sees you in the halls or streets, he acts as if you don’t exist, but if you attempt to go up to him, he becomes a flustered mess. Has he missed you that much even after you broke up!?

HIORI is a very level-headed boy. He saw this coming. Your breakup went smoothly even with how sour everything was. Hiori foresaw your discomfort, and he merely agreed when you said you wanted a break. Though, despite his wisdom, he still can’t help but to blame himself. “Was I not good enough?” He repeats in his head while waiting for the loading screen of his game to pass.

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afyrian · 17 days

Text

ch. 6 - december 25 masterlist

"no, i'm just watching a movie, making some cookies to pass the time. rin left yesterday... so it's just me," you stand in the kitchen with kiyoko on the other side of a video call.

you can tell that she's sitting on a couch, tanaka's shoulder resting against hers. their beautifully decorated house sits as the background for the warm environment your screen encompasses. it's hard not to feel jealous of the life that she leads, the loving partner, the amazing home. however, you find yourself remembering your homey apartment, best friend who is better than any life partner.

"if we hadn't gone to ryū's family's home today, we would've invited you over, i hope you know that."

you nod, mixing a few toppings into the dough, giving her a smile, "i know! i'm fine with it, it's finally given me some time to bake something and watch something other than an action movie."

it's rather obvious that your laugh that follows is forced, hoping that you saying it would make it real. and it’s rather easy for kiyoko to recognize just how intertwined you are with rintarō, even if it's not so obvious to you.

"you know, we should go on a double date sometime. since suna is technically your husband," she runs her hand through her hair, lowering her phone some.

you hold back a smile at the sound of 'husband', your eyes focused on the ball of cookie dough in your hand. heat rises to your cheeks as grab some saran wrap to store it in the fridge for a couple hours. "well, just technically, so it'd basically just be a hangout. since you know, i don't know if he'd necessarily be up for date- or if i would even-"

a knock at your apartment door abruptly stops your rambling. your thought process quickly ends and you quickly wipe your hands down on a hand towel. "sorry, i gotta grab this, talk to you later?"

kiyoko gives you a quick nod and an 'absolutely'. you take in a deep breath and make your way to be front door, your clothes old and covered in ingredients. when you open the door, you don't initially see anyone. for a second, you contemplate if it was someone simply knocking and running; however, a large brown bag sits at your feet.

it resembles that of a restaurant's bag, a little note written on it saying 'from rin'. you grab it by the handle and shut the door, smelling your favorite food's aroma. all of your worry melts away as you open it to find a small note and an array of a nearby restaurant's food. you simply can't hold back your smile now as you open the little note.

'y/n, i know we couldn't be together today, and everyone else is busy, so here's something that may cheer you up! if not, i'll make it up to you by watching some romcom when i get back. from, rin.'

below it is something else written in parenthesis, likely from the driver's perspective, '(you have a lovely boyfriend)'. you take in a deep breath and remember the past six months with him, remember the breakfasts he’s made, the memories you’ve made every day. he’s truly the only guy for you and he doesn’t even know it.

tears build up, from a little mix of joy and sadness. joy that you have the greatest man in your life. the man who will pick you up when your hours from home. the man that will make you breakfast when you just don’t feel like it. the very same man who will send you something on christmas just so that you don’t feel lonely.

however, he also happens to be the same man that doesn’t feel the same way as you. that can look so lovingly into your eyes and only feel an ever budding friendship. that can go years without ever saying a word about how the two of them could be more than what they were. it’s a double edged sword and your unsure of where the blade will land.

a/n: i’ve been wanting to write an angsty chapter and i keep putting it off ://

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #the longest contract #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarō #suna rintaro #suna x reader #haikyuu suna #suna rintaro haikyuu #haikyu x reader #x fem!reader

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mikunology · 3 months

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New Mikunology Files #1: CV Powers

omg here we go again

I've been on break a little while but I've been thinking hard recently and I want to share, so! I got an ask long ago about how Miku and friends' superpowers worked in my AU, and I answered it with what I had at the time, but after a lot of thought I straightened something more out I'm pretty satisfied with. I could add on potentially, though, because this AU is an eternal WIP. But y'know.

I'm pretty much gonna copy my notes. (Also sorry if this is formatted oddly, I'm on mobile right now.) Read below the cut! 👇

So, let's recap with the basics.

The Crypton CV androids are outfitted with special cores that function as their "hearts" - they're located in their chests. These cores are made of a special material that not only allows the CVs to learn and experience humanlike emotions, but also have the ability to change "feelings" into "energy": this is what gives them their superpowers. (They found this out by accident.) Meiko has dubbed this energy "Voltage".

The thing about Voltage, though, is that it's kind of unstable, and really powerful. Because of that, it's best for it to be used sparingly; the CVs can probably use it once or twice per fight (Module transformations excluded). Overuse of Voltage can cause the CVs to short/overload or become exhausted (which isn't great when you're trying to finish off a fight).

Voltage can get stronger with strong emotions, so the group can occasionally spark their powers by accident if they get particularly emotional. Conversely, being too stoic or repressing emotions too much can reduce Voltage power. (Hence, it takes Luka much longer to truly break her powers in.)

Voltage also gives the group the ability to use Modules, chunks of pure Voltage energy that can give them a major power boost and change their appearances, as well as grant them new powers. (For example, Miku acquiring the Raspberryism Module gives her a mega punch ability and a new appearance resembling the character Raspberry Monster.)

Each of the CVs possess a unique way to channel their Voltage (special ability):

Miku's is Voltage Resonance. It gives Miku the ability to "resonate" with someone else's feelings and thoughts. This way, she can use this temporary empathic link to induce feelings, and given it's Miku, it's usually through song (for example, if she encounters a Module monster who's fueled by sadness, she can use Voltage Resonance to see what they're feeling and counter by giving them a song of hope or happiness). She can't outright control emotions like this, mind you, they're more like a powerful emotional suggestion. The flip side to this is that it can be ignored if a character is staunch about it (and technically regardless it wears off eventually, it just gives Miku enough time to give the person a "head start", if that makes sense?) and it can also mess Miku's own feelings up a bit if she's neglects to keep herself focused. It's also best used when the target is already vulnerable.

Rin and Len's is Voltage Link. Kind of similar to Miku's, but unique in that it mainly works with each other: it gives the twins a power boost and allows them to telepathically link themselves, making them temporarily "of one mind and body". It works best with each other since they're twins/mirrors, but they can use it with others... it's just way more difficult to keep it stable unless they understand the other person really well. Which is rare.

Luka's ability is Voltage Lariat. Also kinda unique in that can be both offensive and defensive, depending on what Luka's aiming for - Luka creates a field of Voltage that can either be a sort of healing spot (giving energy to everything in it) or a blast zone (taking energy from anything in it and giving it to Luka). Luka can probably do one of these each per fight, but she's gotta choose carefully when to use it. The fields also don't last long. (Why's this sound so video gamey? But this is the best I could come up with that I think works for her.)

Lastly, all CVs get one extra ability that is usually their "finisher" when all together: Voltage Wave. Not much to this one, just all the CVs using their Voltage to create a super rainbow energy beam!! Usually does the trick. (Fun fact: I like to think that it was rare for Miku and the twins to be able to pull off this move given they were inexperienced and it took a lot of power to pull off; with Luka's inclusion, it's way easier!)

Lastly, the CVs do have a few regular old stock superpowers: super strength (Rin's specialty), flight (Miku's specialty; also Luka is the only one in the group who doesn't fly too much when not necessary), super speed (to a degree at least), super reflexes, super hearing (they're musicians, after all!), super durability, the ability to download themselves into technology (robot perk) and the ability to manipulate hologram/hard light technology.

And that's pretty much it! I hope all of that makes some amount of sense. I'm sorry if I missed some stuff, I'll try to fill it in eventually.

#text #vocal android verse #vocaloid au #vocaloid #au lore #i did my best

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pain-in-the-butler · 7 days

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I'm a bit curious but can coattails ciel rank the people in his surroundings from least bothersome to most bothersome? (I'm kind of curious where sebastian or the midfords would be)

Oh, hm! Could Ciel rank them, probably not, but maybe I could do it for him lol. That’s sort of a complicated question I imagine... Both considering it’s Ciel and considering he’s a teenager, I think he finds everyone in his life at least a little bit bothersome. And sometimes the people who bother him the most at other times bother him the least — or when they bother him, they're actually helping him in ways he can’t allow himself to feel yet. I wonder who I could be referring to there...

Anyway, here is my best guess at his least to most bothersome list!

Diedrich: Ciel actually probably likes Diedrich a fair bit, and this definitely owes itself to how little Ciel sees him and how uninvested Di seems in his personal life. Their relationship feels very business-centered to Ciel, which he likes, but there is also an unspoken comfort that comes from knowing that Diedrich is an old family friend. Ciel likes bullying him for sport because Diedrich is rather toothless about it. But Ciel also admires him and wants Diedrich’s good opinion. Meanwhile, Diedrich is the child-free uncle who has no idea how kids work and probably imagines Ciel thinks little good of him.

Tanaka: Though he doesn’t really let himself feel it all the time, Ciel thinks the world of Tanaka and loves him like a grandfather. He shows Tanaka his true emotions more readily than he would with his blood relatives, but is still cautious because he sees Tanaka as someone he could frighten off if he were to be too honest about his anger and sadness. It’s part of why he feels so nervous whenever Tanaka tries to have an earnest conversation with him. He doesn’t like when Tanaka tries to understand him emotionally, but he feels more guilty about it than truly bothered.

Agni: Ciel and Agni don't have much of a close relationship, though I'm sure Ciel would be embarrassed if he knew how often Sebastian went to Agni for advice, and even more embarrassed if he knew how much Agni cared for him. That said, while Ciel sees Agni as a really good butler, he also sees him as an idiot to be so blinded by devotion for Soma of all people. Ciel is not a very nice boy sometimes…

Bard, Mey-Rin, and Finny: While their care for him can feel strange for Ciel at times, ultimately Bard, Mey-Rin, and Finny’s annoyances are very surface level. Ciel likes that they make life harder for Sebastian, and he also feels very soothed by their honesty and simplicity. To him, their love is genuine and unfettered and unable to be marred, like the love of dogs towards a kind master, it’s pretty rude honestly — but right now it’s harder for him to grasp that their love is as complicated as anyone else’s, and it’s only under these invented circumstances that Ciel is capable of quietly accepting it.

Lizzie: Lizzie is another person whose annoyances mainly rest on the surface. She likes raucous music and clothes that stand out and gossip and sports; she’s very energetic, highly social, and not easily embarrassed. She’s largely the opposite of Ciel, and so there’s strain there. He often feels like he has to put up with her, but he’s able to acknowledge that she also has to put up with him, and it’s surprising for Ciel that she can still like him regardless. It bothers him that she likes to kiss him on the cheek so much lately, but he feels even more bothered by the fact that he doesn’t like it. Ciel both sees Lizzie as a silly girl with silly whims and as someone entirely accomplished in dozens of ways he isn’t.

Edward: Meanwhile, Ciel does not have a secret high opinion of Edward at all. In fact, Ciel sees Edward as almost entirely annoying, but since Edward’s even more fun to annoy back, he doesn’t fall as low on the list. Still, Ciel regards his oldest cousin rather unfavorably. Perhaps this opinion will change in the future…

Alexis: Ciel’s only uncle boggles his mind with his displays of affection and boisterous kindness. And after trying to give Ciel “the talk” in public, Alexis especially solidified himself as an annoyance. Behind the ridiculousness, Ciel knows his uncle is very intelligent and trustworthy, but does he have to be so overbearing…

Soma: No one can speedrun getting on Ciel’s last nerve quite like Soma can. All he has to do is cry out, “Hey Ciel, listen!” and the kid’s blood pressure is already skyrocketing. Similarly to Lizzie, Soma is also very much the opposite of Ciel: high energy, highly needy, and very childish in nature. Soma is not good at keeping himself entertained, and that need for constant companionship (and conversation) ensures that Ciel’s interactions with the prince will stay limited. But somehow the idea of Soma not being in his life at all feels worse… not that Ciel will ever admit it to anyone, including himself.

Francis: Ciel’s relationship with his aunt has become much more tenuous since he hit puberty. He still has a lot of respect for her, but he’s livid with her sudden desire to play a larger role in his upbringing. Her exerting her opinion over his life and trying to insinuate that she always could makes him want to tear his hair out. If it were modern times, he would surely be screaming, “You’re not the boss of me!” and slamming the bedroom door in her face. Of course, he’s essentially already doing that with…

Sebastian: Because who possibly annoys an easily-annoyed teenager more than a parent? And Sebastian was already a headache well before he took on that parental role, but the addition of kindness and forcing emotional conversations has perfectly cemented Sebastian as the biggest bother in the universe. Sebastian is the one being in Ciel’s life that cannot ever go away for good, a fact that brings Ciel rage and comfort in equal measure. Soma may be irritating, Aunt Francis may be presumptuous, but Sebastian is both of those things and an idiot to boot. And his constant insistence that Ciel is still a child who needs to be looked after and coddled? The only thing worse than that notion is the fact that sometimes Sebastian is right.

Sebastian is easily the king of pissing Ciel off. At the same time, he’s the only one Ciel can show the full brunt of his angry, sad, annoyed, tender emotions to without fearing that Sebastian might go away forever. With that in mind, could Sebastian also be the least bothersome here…? Would this list be better understood if it was not presented as a linear rank but rather a circle that loops all the way around…? Hmm, I wonder……..

#thanks so much for the question!#coattails

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tenjiiku · 9 months

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two birds, two stones / au, 18+

i’ve been here for weeks / i’ve been here for years / i’ve been here too long

cw: character death, anxiety attack(s), dealing w trauma in an unhealthy way, mention of self-inflicted scars

Sae returned to Kamakura on your 25th birthday. He had not planned to. It was due to less than stellar circumstances your reunion was ordained six years after he left.

The night before you called — as you frequently do — to tell him you were moving to Malaysia permanently after reportedly arguing with your mother on the phone regarding your being unmarried. Sunday morning you messaged him apologising for your behaviour and he was told to meet you at your apartment at 12:30 sharp the following Tuesday, no sooner or later — otherwise you would not answer the door.

He has been used to your mood swings and vicious behaviour for quite some time, now. You were eleven years old, the same age as Rin — the same age the two of you had, supposedly, fallen helplessly in love at Shofukuji Park on a Thursday afternoon — and the same time Sae was cursed with your near constant presence in their house. Back then, he was truly happy for his little brother. He worried Rin’s foolish behaviour would deem him lonely for the rest of his life — yet you managed to find something admirable about that and Rin, as a consequence.

But that was six years ago. And Rin was dead.

Now he was here. And so were you.

He arrived in your neighbourhood at 12:25. Your apartment is nearly five minutes away from the nearest station, so he arrives in front of your doorstep with a minute to spare. He takes this time to adjust the collar of the white button down he wears. Sae opens the grocery bag with a small cake for two inside it and checks that it is, indeed, still there and has not spontaneously gained consciousness.

It has not.

Then, at 12:30, you open the door. You are shorter than he remembers. He is taller than he can recall. That should be a given, though. He has not physically seen you in five years. You wanted that to be like that since he could remember, until today.

“You are on time,” you comment, vivacious eyes gazing up and down.

He shuffles uncomfortably in front of your door, one hand holding the paper bag, the other securely balancing it from the bottom.

“You sound disappointed,” he remarks.

You smile and make way for him to enter. He sighs, relieved, and takes off his shoes in the genkan as you close the door behind him. Your apartment smells of apples and vanilla and he spots a half-empty candle sitting on your low table for one in the middle of your living room. He lets himself in and it is only when you walk in front of him and sit at the table, cross-legged, is when he joins you on his knees.

When you move the candle he places the bag on the table as a type of peace offering. Straightening his back, Sae places his hands on his knees — staring at your bewildered expression with flat lips and a twitching brow.

“Happy birthday.”

You look at him eerily for a few seconds, then the corner of your lips lift up and Sae breathes a sigh of relief as you dig into the bag.

“Thanks,” you murmur quietly — a bit embarrassed, Sae figures, when you avert your gaze and place the box on the table between you both and dispose of the bag somewhere on the soft rug the two of you sit on.

Sae takes the time it takes you to grab some plates and cutlery to look around the small apartment you moved into when you were 19. He thinks he must have been in Manila on business when he got your call. You had sounded exhausted on the phone, but never sad, when you told him you were leaving your parents’ home. They’d been furious — always the traditional types. Your mother wanted your first place to be shared with your future spouse, but you positively despised her and her company — so you left and never looked back (at least not on holidays. You would make a small video call, get scolded by family online and come to Sae with your troubles — which he would indulge in out of sheer compassion).

He doesn’t quite know what it is like to hate the ones you are supposed to love. But he doesn’t know a lot of things ever since Rin’s passing, so he supposes it is a given.

The only understandable facet the two of you hold in your lives is each other.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” Sae says as you return to sit across from him.

You stare at him with a petulant grin and snort, shrugging your shoulders as you rub your eyes and place the small plates and forks on top of the cake box.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“It’s a compliment.”

You laugh at this, bowing your head, “I know. Thank you, Itoshi-san.”

At the name, Sae furrows his brows. He places his hand in the pocket he has your present in, fisting it with his fingers.

“God. Don’t call me that.”

“Why? Makes you feel old? Old man,” you tease relentlessly, making an uncomfortable feeling brew in his stomach. So he changes the topic as you pour him a cup of tea.

“It smelled like smoke on the stairwell when I was coming up.”

You snort, cracking your neck and rubbing your cheek awkwardly on your shoulder to manage an itch, passing him the small mug of green tea.

“Bah, yeah. There was a fire Saturday afternoon in Mr. Yamanaka’s place.” You say casually. Sae’s eyes widen and he slightly chokes on the small sip of tea he’d taken. He did not know who ‘Mr. Yamanaka’ was — you’d never mentioned his existence in any of your phone calls — but by your nonchalant tone he figures he must not mean anything to you. He manages to hide it under his concerned expression.

“It was rather scading news. Apparently his wife had been gone on a work trip and his affair had come over,” you lean forward slightly, whispering even though no one else except Sae was in your quaint apartment, “They supposedly got into an argument about when he’d finalize the divorce with her and she’d started the fire when he didn’t give an answer! Everything was destroyed. Everyone’s on Miss Yamanaka’s side, so no one’s pitched in on funding for replacements.”

Sae knows what you mean. But he still asks you.

“Divorce with his affair?”

“No. Divorce with his wife, stupid.”

“I know, it was a joke.”

“Well, stop. You are not good at being funny, Itoshi-san.”

Sae feels the corners of his lips tremble and lift. He huffs, a laugh escaping his mouth — but it sounds more like a gasp. He looks down at his lap, placing a hand on his forehead as you crane one leg up, sitting like some sort of elderly man.

“Miss Yamanaka stayed here for a few days and just left yesterday to Hyogo to stay with family,” you explain, cracking open a can of beer.

“God, that’s disgusting,” Sae murmurs slowly as a side remark, his grip around the cup of tea he holds tightening.

He looks up towards you to see your reaction. You simply shrug your shoulders. And Sae remembers.

You always carried that sort of uncanny insouciance with you. Detachment has been an easy thing for you to do, ever since you were a child. Sae would say you’d broken Rin’s heart a total of seventeen times when the two of you were together. His foolish brother would go crawling back to you every time, you would apologise for your indifference and cry in his lap — and then buy profiteroles together to reconcile.

Looking at you now, you still carry a childlike aura around you. You are a woman yet a cloud of casual disconsolation hovers over you, threatening to consume you whole. You hadn’t surrendered to it yet but you always have to keep it leashed.

Sae knows what that is like, despite him never knowing you.

Feeble hands play with the cake box and open it, revealing a quaint cake with delicate white frosting. No words are written. Sae knows you do not like remembering your age.

“Vanilla,” your eyes shine, staring at the dessert with a smile on your lips. You lightly graze the cake with the index finger of your free hand and lick at the frosting, “I like it.”

Sae rubs the back of his neck. He takes the small box out from his pocket and holds it out too. Your eyes widen even further — and you take it from him.

“What’s this?”

“A birthday present. To go along with your birthday gift.”

You smile weakly and open the box. A small pendant rests inside. Your grin grows even weaker as you read the engraved lettering. Sae looks down, letting you make the faces you want to make without judgement. It probably ruined the mood — but he needed to give it to you eventually, for his ease of mind.

You set the box down somewhere. Sae looks back up when you ask quietly.

“Should we wish for something?”

Sae hums. “It’s your birthday. Be my guest.”

“You should wish for something as well. I’ll share my luck with you,” you murmur wishfully, fishing out a lighter you grabbed when you brought him tea — and light the single candle at the centre of the cake.

Sae doesn’t know what you mean at all with your statement. He did not believe in wishes, dreams or otherworldly desires. They did not make sense. You did not make sense.

“Then… I wish you would hurry up and blow your candles before the wax drips onto the cake.”

You pout. He feels his hands sweat and wipes them on his khaki pants.

Sae watches as you look down at the cake pondering. He slightly adjusts his seating — his feet starting to grow numb from keeping his legs bent for so long. He sits back down and by that time, the candle is already blown out and you are looking at him.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I wished for?” You ask, your eyes illuminated by the soft light that streams in from your open balcony and windows. It’s started to rain, so your face is very lightly illuminated.

Sae studies your features. The scar you got at the top of your eyebrow — self-inflicted, after you had pushed Rin off the monkey bars. You had avoided him after the incident for many hours, and, at night when you went to Rin’s room to apologise — Sae had heard his brother scream. You had your bangs pulled up, revealing the bruise you’d given before coming over. Sae had to talk both of you down to reconcile back then. No matter how much he taught you, unlike Rin, you never listened. A part of him resented you for your stubbornness and utter disregard for your own autonomy.

But you truly loved Rin. It was innocent and you were both so naive — his brother more than you.

Sae would think late at night — the nights you came over for sleepovers with his younger sibling — as he slept between you both on three laid-out futons in the living room, if this is truly what love was.

Looking at you now — sunken eyes, a malnourished look, an adult for all intent and purposes, but still with that same utter disregard you carried ever since you were a child — Sae does not think that if this is love, true love, he does not want it.

“What did you wish for?” He asks, and Sae is shocked to find his voice so weak.

You grin, mischievously.

“I’m not going to tell you.”

Sae scoffs, “You know, my co-worker knows someone who is a psychiatrist. I will give you their number.”

“I would but I hate the idea of needing to pay someone to listen to my woes. I mean, what could they possibly offer me that hasn’t already been said?”

You cut the cake, handing him a slice. Sae takes it from you and shrugs his shoulders at your blatant remark.

“Still, you’d have someone to listen to you.”

You grow quiet. Sae looks up from the hands that give him the dessert. He stares into your eyes. You are finally looking back.

“But I have you.”

Sae doesn’t answer. Feeling sick in the stomach, he takes another sip of his tea to quench the sudden thirst emerging inside of him.

He takes a bite of cake, even though you haven’t cut yourself a slice. If he tells you anything right now — he thinks you would do the opposite. And that would not be any good. The two of you have been walking a very fine line, and he never wants to be the first one to cross it.

“Do you like the cake?” You whisper.

Sae swallows loudly, placing his plate down on the table and crossing his legs. He coughs, loosening his tie.

“It’s good.”

You stand up, only for a moment, before placing yourself in Sae’s lap. He had not realized he opened his arms when you approached him until you were seated in his embrace. You fit perfectly on his crossed legs — and when you wrap your smaller hands around his waist, he lets you.

You do not speak. Sae takes a hand and pets your hair, softly, like how He used to, many years ago.

“I’m sorry for your mother. It sounded quite annoying — what she said,” he consoles you softly. You nod, rubbing your nose and lean your head on his shoulder. Sae holds the hands you curl together in your lap and rubs the top of them with his thumb.

“It’s okay… I should be used to it by now,” you murmur.

“Don’t say that.”

You turn, looking at him. Sae feels you press yourself further into his chest. Two hands come to rest on top of his shoulders. You stay like that for a while — simply staring into each other’s eyes. He thinks that if he looks close enough he can see Rin in the reflection of your eyes. It frightens him deeply, but he completely forgets about it when you lean in closer. The scent of warm vanilla and profiteroles.

Thunder booms outside — and it starts to rain — when your lips brush against his. He is watching.

“We shouldn’t,” he whispers, but his hands settle on the nape of your back and only pull you closer to him.

“I know,” you murmur, voice so weak and full of a deep sadness that it pains Sae, “I know.”

Temptation was an evil, wicked thing. It disguises itself in beautiful ways. No matter where he goes, no matter how much he tries to forget your face — glistening eyes, bated breath, naive yet mature beyond its years — he never can.

You were not his. You never were. You couldn’t.

But there was a pain buried deep within both of you — left by Him — that only the other could fill.

Another crack of thunder. He closes his eyes and lets you guide your dewy lips to his. Gasping for air, he feels all of his prior inhibitions come off like his button down that you fist so desperately. He wore it all for you. He came back for you. Surely, you know this.

You mewl into his mouth. Soft, sullen tongue meeting him. Your bare leg touches his chest and he feels a jolt of awareness attack his mind.

Opening his eyes and separating the heated kiss, he feels spit form at the back of his throat at your debauched expression.

Sae can’t speak. Trembling hands rest on his shoulders, pushing him down onto the softness of your carpet. The dull light of a mid-day rain storm fills your living room. He smells your scent, he only feels you.

Climbing on top of him, Sae watches quietly with wide eyes as you slowly pull off the sweater you wear. Your chest exposed, with your crotch still covered in your underwear, you slowly undo the remaining buttons of his shirt and fiddle with the belt. He should not be looking at you like this — but he cannot look away.

You’re beautiful, you always have been. But you can’t be beautiful to him.

Still, you lean down, pressing kisses on his chest, and Sae feels his breath become short.

(He can pretend. That much should be allowed.)

Sae feels heat spread all throughout his body to his toes. A dark redness spreads on his face, he arches his neck — unable to meet you in the eye as you travel towards his erection with purpose.

“Sae,” you mumble his name quietly, massaging his erection through his erection. He feels the muscles in his thighs clench.

His voice is ruined, he knows. Still, he speaks for you. Opening his closed eyes — he groans as he sees you, bare and fondling with his underwear to wrap your fingers around his hard cock.

“Fuh—Fuck—,” he grunts, bending his neck to look at the ceiling. He feels sweat perspire on his forehead and his hands and feet grow numb.

“I want you to come,” you whisper so sweetly, so softly — your face full of a deep need. A deep need he hasn’t seen, that he has been avoiding, for so many years now. He can’t think straight. And he certainly can’t speak, not when your soft lips lick at his cockhead, eyes glistening with light tears as the lewd sounds of your mewling fill the room.

“Shit — you’re—,” Sae looks up to watch you, then quickly puts his head back down after he saw you reach down to play with yourself as you suck him down, “Fuck—”

Biting his lips, he places a hand on his forehead and groans, deep from his chest when a warm hand wraps around the base of his shaft and massages the skin. He feels his legs jolt when you reverently increase your pace.

When you let go of his cock with an obscene sound, Sae sighs and is embarrassed when a weak moan escapes the back of his throat. You look into his eyes, and a heat brews in his head, all the way to his toes. Your smell, your touch, your breath. It’s all he knows.

“Please, come for me,” you beg softly, before taking his entire cock into your panting mouth.

Sae groans loudly, feeling his hands tremble as he covers his eyes with one hand. The other travels down to your small hand resting on his chest, and intertwines them together.

“I—I’m gonna come,” he pants quietly — it sounds scared. You hum around his cock and the vibrations send a shiver down his spine.

He swears under his breath, and in his periphery he can see you bobbing your head with a purpose. His eyes slightly water, and when you squeeze his hand gently, urging him to come, he does.

You don’t stop. Even when he pats a trembling hand on the top of your hand, which travels to pet your cheek, Sae feels himself burn when he gradually feels his girth inside of your mouth pulse.

Finally — after what seems like forever, you let go. Sae’s chest rises and falls. He looks towards you, feeling his composure get thrown out into the storm as you pull your panties down. A hand sneaks its way between your legs. Your lips are parted, you’re sweating — Sae can see your everything. You present yourself to him fully, with furrowed brows and pleading eyes that hold an air of vivid desolation. Suddenly you are 19 and he is 20 — and you are crying in his arms for the very first time.

“I’m a mess,” you gasp, eyes closing with pleasure as you touch yourself. Sae feels his throat become dry as you drip onto his leg, climbing your way on top of him.

“Beautiful,” he puffs, out of breath as you position your wet entrance to his hard cock, “So beautiful.”

You hiss as you slide him inside of you. Sae grits his teeth and places a warm hand on the plush of your hip, guiding you down. He groans deep from his chest as he bottoms out inside of you, eyes widening when he feels your wet cunt contract around his raw girth. He can’t think straight. He can only think of you.

“It’s okay,” he chants quietly, intertwining the shaky hands you place on his chest with his own, “I have you. I have you.”

“S—Sae,” you mewl, eyes glistening as you look down at him.

He feels his own eyes water. He digs his fingers into your skin, grunting as you move up and down his cock. Your fluttering walls accommodate him with each thrust — and he feels all of his morals disintegrate.

(Would he be here if Rin was still here?)

“Fucking—,” he moans, feeling himself get lost. He looks away — then looks back. He’s here. He’s here and he should not be. Still, he is here. “Come for me, come for me, baby.”

“Sae, Sae, Sae,” you whimper his name, soft hands digging into his rough palm. He feels your plush thighs tremble — and your pussy pulse around his cock.

Sae pulls out, finishing on abdomen and his. His chest heaves and he bites the inside of his cheek as you mewl and come, falling onto his chest with a soft sigh. He lets you lay there — too tired to care for the sweat or the mess, too exhausted to care if this is wrong.

Moments pass, just like this. The quiet of the rain and his hand petting your head as you nuzzle into his bare chest, pressed naked against his form. It is warm in your apartment.

Sae feels the need to ask you this, to use as a compass for his own purposes.

“Are you okay?”

For a few seconds, you are completely still. Sae finds the need to tilt his head down to look at you and see if you are still conscious. Then, your hands fist. They shake.

Finally, you erupt.

You cry violently into his chest. Sae is stun locked then wraps his arms tightly around your trembling frame. You bury your face into his chest, lips trembling against his skin and tears soaking his collar. Sae rubs a warm hand up and down your back, afraid of making the slightest of noises as your sobs fill in — what once was — peaceful silence. You clench onto him, release him, then hold onto him — again and again. With nowhere to go, and the object of your need being your greatest sin. Sae holds you tight, it is the only thing he knows to do. Your voice becomes raw, you are gasping for air — and you still hold onto him.

You are shaking still, but your tears have stopped. You don’t look up at Sae anymore. And your voice is wretched and soars as you whine a melancholy question.

“I’m such a hypocrite, aren’t I?”

Sae does not answer. He holds you close to him and closes his eyes, hoping for this storm to end.

But he knows it never will, now that he has opened it.

When he was 17, Sae heard you cry in Rin’s room for the first time. You’d always been the more rational one out of your pair — much like him. It was an unusual situation he had passed by, on his way to tell you both dinner was ready. Having you over was a common occurrence. This, was not.

Sae hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. But he found himself unable to move — watching through the small opening of the slightly unbarred door.

You were trembling, sitting in Rin’s lap. However, unlike the many times you initiated physical contact, you never sobbed quite as hard as you did, now. Your entire frame shakes. Sae has half the mind to come in, but he stops short when he watches his brother wrap his arms around you.

“It’s okay,” Rin’s voice is unusually soft, as he murmurs to you.

You don’t say a word. You probably can’t. He doesn’t know what you’re upset about — and he never will.

Sae leaves, softly shutting the door behind him.

#writing #nsft #rin itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x fem reader #rin itoshi x fem reader

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