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tenjiiku · 7 days

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watari / au

the chronicles of a retired cannibal and his budding (alleged) serial killer neighbour

Michael Kaiser returns to his abode after his work trip, Monday evening — inexplicably vexed towards the World and Y/n. There is no particular order to his annoyance. But the urge to sink his teeth into the earthy ground and the putrid girl’s neck are one and the same. He could fulfill both compulsions at once and still find a way to feel unsatisfied. On the surface, she seems like anyone else. But Michael knows. He knows what the girl is better than she does, herself. He ate women like her for breakfast. Lunch and dinner too. Occasionally. He used to, in his teens. But it is harder to maintain an alibi when you have developed a severe case of stiff back in your thirties. No less hunting someone down for sport. It used to be easier back home. Japan’s scenery has a way of dulling a man for all he is worth.

Michael wants to crush it all.

He thinks he likes her, though. Sure, he often wants to shoot the young woman straight in the head and feast on her flesh that calls out to him like a canary’s tune — but there is some charm in the girl.

Y/n reminds him a lot of himself, you see.

He has only seen her a few times since he moved to the utterly abandoned apartment complex somewhere in Sendai which he now calls home; but each time has been remarkably vivid. Once, she was wearing nothing but a bikini top as a shirt and jean shorts, carrying two large bags filled with groceries in early May. Another, in the laundromat by the residence — humming a show tune, her voice vibrating with the dryer she sits upon, sparing him no mind. Recently, more wantonly — Michael had spotted her by his door to his apartment, pushed up against it by a man taller than her (Humiliatingly, taller than Michael himself as well). He saw a glimpse of her face being utterly devoured in ways which he thought were only possible for people in their late twenties to discover (How she had done that with her tongue, still looking appetizing as ever — Michael had to give the woman some credit). She had all but spared him a half-lidded glance from across the man’s shoulder and rolled over to push the stranger up against her door, instead. Michael remembers just staring.

But before he could say anything — she was already whisked away into her own place.

He hadn’t heard the man scream, strangely. But the tall fellow hadn’t left her residence for days to follow. Michael wonders how Y/n does it so efficiently — not leaving a trace of their existence behind.

And, presently, he spots her sitting outside her door, squatting by a wilted potted plant — presumably tending to the debilitated creature.

He almost mistakes her voice with the cicadas — him suffering a hallucination due to the Summer heat being a more likely cause than the woman striking up a conversation with him.

But it is real. He is turned to his door, when her saccharine voice calls for him.

“Good day, is it not, Kaiser-san?”

He feels himself go into auto-pilot — having rehearsed the lines he would tell her if she were to ever entertain herself with him. He does not even find himself questioning how she knows his surname. The woman gets around — she is all knowing and spectacularly aware of it. Michael wants to scoff, a little.

Amateur. It was cute.

“Sure.”

“Apologies for last night, sir. My date had too much to drink. Confused our doors.”

It’s funny. She almost sounds apologetic. Michael almost feels sorry for the man she managed to sink her claws in.

“It’s… fine…”

She tilts her head cutely. Dressed in a thin pair of light blue overalls, Michael grows suddenly aware that he is looking down at her chest. Sizeable it may be, but it did not make his act any less perverse. He shifts his eyes, and coughs. The sight does not make him uncomfortable — but he realizes he should at least act a little human. The woman places her hands on her knees, seemingly having no qualms of sitting down on the floor by her doorway.

“I feel awful. Really, I would have thrown a fit at myself, if I was in your position. And I did. Twice this morning.”

Curious and amused, Michael asks, “How?”

“I gave myself a cold shower. Then I waxed my legs,” she explains, almost animatedly. “Clean as I may be, it was hellish. Really, Kaiser-san. Believe me — I did not feel good.”

Michael huffs at her strange demeanour and at what she constitutes as a punishment. She was both demure and bold. He’s never seen anything quite like it in a woman. He also tries to block out the image of her showering and softening her already plump skin.

“I… am glad,” he answers.

When the doe-eyed lady (is she doe-eyed? Michael does not know if that is what you would call it. But her eyes are wide as saucers, almost encompassing her entire face when she enlarges them — tantalizingly glistening with a need he wants to fulfill, for whatever reason) does not respond, and simply gazes at him with curiosity — Michael cannot help but feel the need to offer her to come into his apartment for a while.

His knees almost buckle when she responds with a yes, and gets onto her feet to reach him.

“It is settled, then?” She sings, dancing on the tips of her toes.

Michael can only nod and stare dumbly at the cut under her left eye. It wasn’t there before, a few weeks ago. It almost looks like the poor man had tried to fight back.

“How wonderful! It is too beautiful of a day to be feeling guilty. Is it not, Kaiser-san. Is it not?”

He looks down at his hand, unlocking his door and turning the knob but not opening it. “It’s nice.”

He turns to see if Y/n is still looking at him. She is closer in proximity, inches away from his shoulders. He scratches the back of his head and she tilts her head, gesturing to his door.

Michael opens the door, letting the alleged murderer into his apartment complex.

He reckons he should strike up a conversation with her. It is not everyday he encounters someone so much like him.

“The azaleas by the entrance are blooming.”

“Yes, yes! They are. So beautiful, are they not?”

“Mhm.”

Michael reaches his kitchen island. He goes behind it, while Y/n decides to remain across from him. She hops onto one of the stools, and he lets her watch him put his groceries away. He can sense her eyes scanning his place. Michael lives frugally — not many decorations other than cut out pieces of newspaper advertisements he found aesthetically pleasing.

He feels Y/n’s eyes on his neck, his bleached hair tickling at the base of his neck.

“If only my Watari would bloom,” Y/n sighs out in the open.

Michael prolongs the conversation before even realizing it.

“Watari…?”

“My asagao. Morning glory. For whatever reason, I cannot get him to grow.”

And never mind the fact that his murderer — who is also a plant enthusiast, it seems — has a name for her morning glories. The fact that she refers to it as a person peeks Michael’s interest. People like them should not seek pleasure in otherworldly matters if those pleasures were anything but fleeting.

Maybe Michael has grown too old. Kids these days are more advanced than he was. They will chew on your flesh and find happiness in the world without you in it. He briefly wonders if she usually rehearses this same dialogue with all of her victims. Or, perhaps Michael is special.

“I had him in my balcony for the longest of times. Then, my bedroom. Then the kitchen. No matter where I place it, no matter how attentively I water, it refuses to bloom.”

Y/n complains like some sort of petulant, spoiled teenager. Michael wonder if human remains stunt plant growth. He has not tested the theory himself, and with a woman chewing on her bottom lip sitting only a foot away from him is enough for him to finally allow himself to fantasize about this.

He wonders if she is even taking about her morning glory at this point.

“Kaiser-san, your blessings for my Watari would be appreciated at this time. I know I do not deserve them — horrible and filthy as I am — it would mean quite a lot for someone as terrible as myself—,” she starts. But Michael is starting to itch. He turns his back away from her, turning on the sink.

“You have my well wishes.” He spits out, a bit out of breath, “It’s fine.”

It is silent. Michael wonders if she is looking at him like prey. The concept makes the corner of his lips twitch. He lifts a hand to cover his smile. This is the most excited he has been since moving to this place.

“Really, Kaiser-san? Really?”

Still, with his back turned — he lets her think about him a while longer. He wonders how she plans on killing him. Maybe she will take a long route. Reel him in with cherry coloured lips, sheer blouses, a sweet, light voice murmuring his name like a siren song. Michael wouldn’t put it past the girl.

So, he decides to play along.

“Water under the bridge,” he waves, finally turning to look the girl in the eye. She is, of course, still staring. And it seems like something out of a horror film — the way her eyes had darkened, her lips are moist as though she had just licked them, and she looks utterly ravenous.

But she bids him a farewell. “Good day, Kaiser-san.”

So Michael figures that this is it, for today. “Good day.”

When she steps out of his door, Michael makes sure to wait five minutes — until he is certain she has gone from his general vicinity. And he laughs. He laughs until tears escape his eyes. He laughs, stomach starting to hurt but he cannot stop.

He will have his teeth in her by the end of the Summer.

That is to say, only if she doesn’t have her own in his skin, first.

#writing #michael kaiser x fem reader #kaiser x fem reader #cw murder #cw cannibalism #michael kaiser x reader #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x you #michael kaiser x y/n #michael kaiser fluff #bllk kaiser #michael kaiser #bllk x reader #bllk x you #bllk x y/n #bllk x female reader #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock x reader

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tenjiiku · 7 days

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omg i saw your reblog about heaven. What were your thoughts on the book?

I think the best way to describe my emotions is that feeling you get when you want to cry but you physically can’t produce any tears. Emotionally it hits you very deep and it’s so gut wrenching at some parts but you just… can’t let go of the deep sadness that festers inside of you (the ‘soccer’ scene… good Lord. I was descending through the seven levels of Hell on the subway reading that). And it frustrates you at some points but then the moments between the insane abuse the narrator endures and his time with Kojima are so intensely bittersweet and humane that it’s just enough to ground you back into the world Kawakami creates. And the very hard hitting concept that no matter how good one may be, no matter how much people can ignore and oftentimes suffer as a result of their ignorance — the idea that apathy exists, that someone can feel that way and as a result have no qualms in torturing an innocent soul is so.. just.. heartbreaking. The story is very aware of the fact that it is a story, at the end of the day. That in the real world happy endings are only ever really achieved through gruesome hard work and sometimes just pure unadulterated pain. And that good, honest people have to constantly change themselves in a world that only exploits their goodness and makes them believe their strengths are their weaknesses. But it is how you redirect that apathy life hands you to make it so that it is digestible for your own peace of mind. If it even helps. People live and people die for no reason sometimes no matter how we try and twist it and as someone who has always had a hard time grappling with the concepts of mortality and morality this book was like a double punch to the stomach lol. But. Yeah. Heartbreakingly authentic. Would really recommend this to myself when I was 16. Probably would have made me feel less lonely in my depression. This was my first Kawakami book and I have fallen in love with her prose. Looking forward to reading Breasts and Eggs next <3

#inbox #cw bullying

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tenjiiku · 8 days

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what do you think rin and kaiser's dynamic would be like? (assuming they don't kill each other)

Idk what else to say other than the fact that Rin is too obsessive and Kaiser is too arrogant they already have their narratives made up abt the other in their minds lol

#inbox #Just.. not a good idea for them to be put in a room together #It’s like fighting bulls

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tenjiiku · 8 days

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E.E. Cummings, Complete Poems, 1904-1962

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tenjiiku · 9 days

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HEPHAESTUS LORE??? 😭 like the greek god who was born ugly and deformed and cast out from olympus by his own mother from birth? the innovative blacksmith whose talents were barely recognized and instead he was gifted a wife who cheated on him with his older brother from the same mother? GIRLL NO WONDER YOU LIKE RIN. i have a feeling you were born with a congenital emotional weakness for dark-haired men who have a tragic mixture of mommy and older brother issues and as a result suffer all their life in silence for a woman who happens to be both wretchedly beautiful and heartlessly cruel. sorrows, sorrows, prayers 🙏

Yes that Hephaestus 🤍 okayyy I inherited this disease from my f*ther, unfortunately. I think about Hephaestus like 2 times a day, I will never get over him I guess you could say he is my Roman Empire. Thanks for the prayers I need them, truly. But also this implies I am Kaiser’s type which… Personally I think I am so far removed from that but idk I do tend to attract sociopathic gaslighters so hm. Time to completely change myself I guess!

#inbox

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tenjiiku · 9 days

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i feel like kaiser’s type can be summed up in one sentence: girls who don’t know how to drive

Lolll soooo true. Girls who are so so sweet for their own good, and are often taken advantage of due to their empathy. May I also add, I think his type also includes girls who stay up late at night pondering on and on and on about Hephaestus and his tragedy of a life. They are like honey to Kaiser’s sick affections unfortunately.

#inbox #Go get ur licences everyone!!! (This unfortunately includes myself)

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tenjiiku · 10 days

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But does he actually love you or is he just an asshole

That is hard to say. I think a part of him does. He’d never admit it though. And I know that’s cheesy to say but with Kaiser I truly think that’s true. He has commitment issues like hell so he has never truly envisioned himself settling down with anyone for all his life — thinks it to be too easy and good of a thing for someone like him. Kaiser falling in love is equivalent to the 5 stages of grief in a way. The denial and anger stage being the longest of tribulations he finds himself coping with unfortunately. And when he reaches the acceptance stage it’d probably be too late for both himself and his partner </3

#inbox

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tenjiiku · 10 days

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He’ll curse at himself — call himself stupid, make himself cry — anything to get you back. And it works...

the way the smile faded right off my face because my self-respect could neverrr 😭 i remember reading that one manga panel where he was choking himself after losing to isagi and i legit died of secondhand embarrassment. pls he'd be so dramatic 🙄 probably shows up at your door at dawn, drenched from the rain and eyes rimmed with red, after you broke up with him for what appears to be the third time this month. he doesn't even apologize, just straight up demands you two get back together because "it's your fault i'm like this and i won't ask you again." so then you confront him about the other girl, he's like..."she doesn't matter. you and i both know that. a man like me needs a woman who can understand. and you're gonna be the only one who can understand, right?" and when he finally realizes you're not coming back this time, he loses his damn mind. like fr has no care for his own life anymore. probably gets drunk and drives a hundred miles per hour in the dark while calling you in desperate delirium: "you love me right? tell me you fucking love me." sorry sir but for the sake of my own sanity, that's a hard no.

He’s so toxic omfg. Literally the type of toxic bf to threaten to kill himself through text. Like you know that infamous snapchat text log of this man pretending to be his mother texting his ex saying how he killed himself because of her. It can get that bad if Kaiser really wants to be That dramatic. And yesss about that part of him not apologizing 😭 you will truly never catch him taking accountability until the very end. He’ll test your patience again and again and again, then fly too close to the sun. Suddenly you’re settling down with someone, fixing yourself up, smiling at someone else, giggling with someone else, kissing someone else, acting shy and nervous around someone else that’s not him. And even then that’s not enough for him to say sorry, not until you’re at the altar and almost out from under his claws.

#inbox #Maybe he is someone else’s type but I will stick with Rin who brushes my hair and lets me bite his cheeks when Im annoyed :)#cw suicide

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tenjiiku · 10 days

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TOXIC BF KAISER THOUGHTS😖🤲

It’s just… so bad. No matter how much of an ass he can be he does it in a way that you still cannot say you hate him for certain. At times he can be so charming and loving. You’ll make him laugh at something you do and feel like you are on top of the moon — because making Michael Kaiser laugh is considered an accomplishment, that’s how much he starves people from his unadulterated kindness and genuine respect. He’ll remember the little things about you — at times, it can be so warming. You complained about your favourite coffee shop’s thin paper straws they switched to, so when he sees you next time — he’d have bring you a plastic one he happened to find. Only one, for you only. Piss him off, and he’ll ruin your life with the things you disclose to him. He’ll humiliate you in front of his friends and yours. He’ll bring up the cringy childhood story you told him on passing to a crowd of people you don’t know (but he does) and make jokes at your expense. When you try to make him stop, he’ll get defensive. He’ll isolate you from him. He’ll stop laughing at your jokes. He’ll ignore you in a group of people. He’ll start hanging out with that girl you told him makes you so insecure — because you aren’t beautiful, not without him beside you. You’ll come apologizing, saying that you overreacted. He’ll comfort you, entertain your desolation with saccharine praise and words. ‘I could never hate you. You’re my girl, how could I?’ He’ll bring you down gently. Dealing with him is like disarming a mine field. Intensely possessive when it comes to other men getting even the slightest piece of your attention — to completely impassive when he sways others with his allure. He’ll beg you not to leave him when you reach a boiling point, he’ll get down at your feet if he has to — he’ll ruin your relationships with others if needed, make you depend on him, make you regret for ever even thinking a life without him was possible. He’ll curse at himself — call himself stupid, make himself cry — anything to get you back. And it works, it works because you don’t like seeing him cry, you only like seeing him laugh — and if you stay, maybe the next day everything will go back to normal and he’ll hold your hand in a room of people he wants to impress. Maybe he will wait for you before he leaves a party, with you by his side. Maybe he will stop talking to that girl. Maybe he will stop accusing you of infidelity. Maybe complaining to him about his behaviour won’t make you feel intensely ill for the days leading up to it. Maybe he will sleep in your bed even if he is mad at you over something completely minuscule again. Maybe loving him would stop ruining your life. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

#inbox #Idk if this is what you wanted but this is what ur gonna get #cw toxic relationship

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