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not-poignant · 11 months

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That excerpt got me excited to read the next chapter of UtB! Kadek is a character we didn't get to explore much in FFS so I'm pumped. Question: does Kadek's past actions at the other rehabilitation facility still effect him? Does he see himself as a perpetrator or deal with any self-hatred? Does he suffer from his PTSD or something like second-hand trauma? I know that being violent towards others/hurting others or seeing other people suffer can cause a trauma response. So I'm curious

Hi anon,

A person who can honestly call what they've done 'rape' instead of 'oh I mean technically it was rape and they still wanted it' is definitely in the arena of seeing himself as a perpetrator and still being affected by it. He literally says to Efnisien that he's allowed to think of Kadek as a monster, because Kadek was a monster. He calls the story 'a sad story.' The story is literally in relation to him talking about how fucked up the world is. So a lot of the answers to your question/s are actually in the excerpt that mentions all this stuff in the language Kadek is using.

People who haven't taken responsibility for their actions talk about the act of rape in a very different way. And Kadek will talk more about it and it should become a lot clearer even after those first two paragraphs talking about the story.

(More to follow, also just a correction that it's not at all secondhand trauma to hurt someone else, that is 100% primary trauma).

Also, being a rapist isn't 'secondhand trauma.' It's just straight-up traumatising to many people, and fractures their personality to a degree where they can often no longer confront reality afterwards. It's especially traumatising to people who don't realise they're raping someone (usually due to ignorance / lack of education / misogyny) and then become aware, and then have to deal with the aftermath of that. Intentional rapists experience a different journey to people who really don't think of themselves that way, and then find out they're in the category of rapist anyway, which is what Kadek is.

Accidentally inflicting trauma on someone and realising later is traumatic. It's not 'secondhand trauma' by default (though that can be there too - there's 100% primary trauma). If you hit an animal with your car and kill or hurt it, that's not 'secondhand trauma' because the animal was likely more hurt than you were. That's primary trauma, it often can cause post-trauma and even PTSD. If you hit/injure/kill someone with your car, that's not secondhand trauma, even though the other person died and you still lived, that's a hell of a primary trauma likely compounded with survivor's guilt.

Even Efnisien in Falling Falling Stars doesn't have secondhand trauma from hurting Gwyn. He has primary trauma over it, that's why he has panic attacks when he thinks about hurting people and animals in the future. That's just straight-up PTSD. You may not have read that though, anon! But it's a decent exploration of perpetrator + victim PTSD if I do say so myself. :)

People who learn they have hurt other people or animals, and who didn't want to do that, experience primary trauma if they're genuinely able to comprehend the hurt that they've caused.

So we know from the excerpt that Kadek sees himself as the perpetrator because he calls it rape and calls himself a monster, and talks like someone who has owned the reality of what he's done. When folks use this kind of language (and they're not intentionally being manipulative, and we have no reason to believe Kadek is), it means they're owning responsibility. It is people who defer or refuse to own responsibility who will not see themselves as a perpetrator. These people do not call what they've done rape. In fact they will go out of their way to call it literally anything else.

Generally, a person who calls themselves a monster has experienced some self-hatred over what they've done (Falling Falling Stars actually confronts this too!)

As for everything else, you'll find out in the chapter! :D Kadek's definitely talking about the story of how he found out that what he was doing was bad, so we will get to hear how that happened, and what the aftermath was.

#asks and answers #kadek setiawan #efnisien ap wledig #underline the black #people who can say 'this is rape and i've done this'#are people who see themselves as perpetrators #but yeah i wanted to be clear that is 100% not secondhand trauma #it's just straight up trauma to the people who realise #that's why it's so hard for folks when they hit someone with their car #and people who discover they've sexually assaulted someone #after the fact #often go through a similar process of realisation #it doesn't have to hurt your body to be profoundly traumatising #i'd say kadek more than anyone else at Hillview #knows what the truth of ORFs is really like #but Hillview all along has been very clear that they are places where rape happens #and we know that this is where Kadek comes from #since Gary shares that with Efnisien in an early chapter lkdsfjsa

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gardeninggraves · 1 year

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watching a reaction video for encanto and immediately exiting out of it when they dont understand isabela as a character and tear her down the entire time during her song is self care

#listen. i say this as someone who isnt even a big fan of isabella #but damn bro ur really just sitting here not caring about her feelings WHEN THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE MOVIE IS THAT THEYRE ALL NOT OK #SOMETIMES WHEN PPL ARENT OK THEY REDIRECT THEIR ANGER AND WHILE ITS NOT OK YOU CANT JUST ACT LIKE SHES UNREASONABLE AND SPOILED #you cant tell me that isabella doesnt have like. the second worst anxiety in the house. she just hides it bc she has to #the golden child/ scapegoat child dynamic between isabella and mirabel isnt just like. isa being mean for no reason #they both see each other as having it easy because they 'dont have any expectations of them and therefore dont have to try'#its about realizing how hard the other is trying and that they were so much more alike than either realized #isa resented mirabel for being messy and clumsy and imperfect because isa is expected to be the perfect example of her family #she cant mess up she has to always be aware of how others percieve her and cannot show any flaws #mira resents isabella because she is trying so hard constantly to basically make up for simply existing #and despite how hard she tries its never enough. so seeing isa being (seemingly) efortlessly perfect hurts #isa is the standard she can never reach #but the truth is they are both just sisters who have spent their whole lives trying so hard to not admit that they wish they were the other #and that theyre both just people who dont have to justify their existance or pose like some perfect little doll. theyre just people #with flaws and issues and the ability to change and grow #fuck you if you hate isa this is a pro isabella blog now #i cant hear you over the sound of mirabel and isabella working through their trauma together and growing closer as sisters #encanto #mirabel madrigal #isabela madrigal #IVE BEEN SPELLING HER NAME WRONG IN THE TAGS FML #oh well i am NOT fixing that

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theartinmyheart · 7 months

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#it’s actually not hard at all to speak to your partner w love #and you should want to hear your partner out instead of interrupting bc you think what you have to say is more important #also it’s incredibly hurtful to throw your partners past trauma in their face and ultimately reveal the person you really are #there is so much power in being silent #there is so much power in biting your tongue to avoid hurting anyone #there is so much power in silently absorbing the hurtful words being said and accepting that you have to detach #there is so much love in consideration and if someone can’t see that then it truly might not work #you show yourself that you love and trust yourself when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and speak your truth #how that is received tells you everything about what you need to do #trust that loving yourself more than the fear of loneliness will always always always lead you in the right direction #and find gratitude in being able to clearly see people for who they really are bc you can now do what’s best for you #find gratitude in the love you once shared and only take that w you moving forward #bc I promise you will learn to never regret entering w love and leaving w love

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kindan-no-kanojo · 7 months

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I don't know if it's linked somewhere in your blog (if it's lmk) but I'm kinda curious about some habits that Scarlett has with her hands. I know it's a sensitive topic, and what makes me specially curious is how much do her hands participate in her body language. It's a very specific thing, yes, but it's about interactions. Let me explain why.

I will expose here what I assume from this, correct me if I'm wrong, although I'll see it mostly from Cassie's side so... help to complete the outlying perspective)?

Cassandra is a curious person, and somehow indiscrete, and today I was thinking "Why she hasn't asked about Scarlett's habit to wear gloves?" At first, I thought it was a thing of "the topic didn't come out, they haven't had chance to pay attention to minor things", but I realized that Cassandra isn't that way. In fact, it would be (and it is) one of the things that intrigues her about Scarlett. In the first meeting, she assumed it was all part of costume (Halloween's meeting) but interaction after interaction, Cassandra noticed this isn't a simple part of the hole aesthetic, but an important thing she decides to wear, in addition to the microgestures she makes everytime Cassandra touches her hands, whether if it's hand holding or kisses (and she likes a lot to kiss hands, it could be respectful or flirty). This makes her ask herself a big why. Cassandra sees her own hands as tools, which she has to keep available for use and something like gloves will always obstruct her job. She is an artist, she always get stained, she doesn't pay attention to that and gloves feel like some kind of binding that avoids her to move freely. Even if she shares with Scarlett (even if she doesn't know this), the adoration for her hands, she doesn't hide them, she shows them proudly. So, in her perspective this is very confusing.

And this is kinda the point I wanted to get here: as Cassandra finds it confusing, and I'll assume that Scarlett never ever takes off her gloves, my blonde can only assume that her friend is hiding something, that there is something really really wrong with her hands or she has some kind of complex. And even if she is indiscrete and the curiosity is somehow dragging her insane, (I assume that this will be more a conscious thing when they both are in silence for a moment and she casually looks to her hands lol), she doesn't say anything because she thinks that 'something' is telling her it will be triggering. And I'm looking for this "something". I was considering as you see, Scarlett's body language and habits with her own hands, so before assuming anything I preferred to ask it :3

So... what do you think that could be pulling Cassandra apart to ask about her gloves?

Ohh interesting :3 This got l o n g so I'll try to separate each part so you can read what you want (?) We have her hand language, why she hides her hands, her hand trauma (spoiler?), how her gloves blend in with her outfit (which is my assumption to your last question), a bonus thing about her design and a symbolic thing regarding her hands that I plan to write about soon.

I talked about the whole deal with Scarlett's hands very early on this blog (around 2021), but I think I privatized the post after a while. I used to make it much more obvious that she wears gloves because since I used picrews, I couldn't show that she wore them and that they were important lol. Once I got to make my own sprites and made sure that her hands were shown in the cropped version, I started being more subtle about it when writing, and nowadays I think it's public knowledge lmao. But it's true that the meaning behind her gloves has gone lost, so I'll do my best to explain all there is to it because she won't. Buckle up.

Her hand language

Her hands are meant to draw just enough attention when she speaks, acts or presents herself in general. She might do brief gestures like twirling her wrists when explaining, pointing with a finger to emphasize, disregarding something by waving a hand in the air, intertwining her fingers together to firmly display her standpoint on the topic, even placing a hand on her chest when she's confident about something she says or plans to do. As you can see, her hands' role is just to emphasize the focus on something else. Additionally, her hands are never drawn too far from her body. She doesn't make grandiose or exaggerated movements, she keeps herself shut in, despite being an extrovert who, much like Cassie, tends to be pretty out there, but in a different way.

Other motions include brushing her hair back when she's stressed, pinching the bridge of her nose when she's frustrated, poking her lips or tap on some surface when thoughtful, also placing her hands on her hips when she's challenging. She won't get touchy with people unless she knows it will distract them enough(?).

To keep her hands completely still or hidden behind her back might actually bring more attention to them instead, causing the complete opposite effect she desires. So she simply hides them under gloves, and makes sure she keeps sight of where her hands are and who would be able to reach them.

Why is she doing that?

Well, as anticipated before: trauma. Yes, she hides a lot of things, not only from Cassie but from everyone else. Scarlett pretty much hides everything she doesn't like about herself, be it by wearing make up, avoiding to take blood, making her waist smaller with corsets, wearing heels, etc. Some things she dislikes less than others, or likes better some other way, and so she easily changes them to not worry about her self-steem.

Her hands are a little different though. Externally, they don't show anything out of the ordinary (aside from their naturally black nails), but they do bring something with them that she absolute despises, and that is vulnerability.

Her hand trauma

She has already revealed that she worked a 'maid' in the past, and honestly that is a cute way to put it. Truthfully, Scarlett was enslaved by Rhiannon, and her failures meant physical punishments most of the time. Many of those punishments would be overlooked overtime, but when her hands were targeted, there was a psychological pain added to it, since she was, or once hoped to be, a musician.

Rhiannon picked up on Scarlett's lost dream and saw how she still wanted to pursue it, even under her ownership. Plus, Scarlett took it very personally when her hands were in danger, since a musician is nothing without them. Unfortunately, this triggered sheer amusement in Rhiannon, as she had found something to subdue Scarlett with by giving her both physical and mental pain at the same time when attacking her hands— breaking her hands meant breaking what was left of her dreams.

As a Demon, physical wounds heal completely after a while, but that only meant a blank canvas was to be used again and again soon, which happened. Eventually, Scarlett stopped resisting and gave in, even unironically dialogued with Rhiannon as to tell her that she couldn't do her job properly with wounded hands; she could hurt something else. That made Rhiannon reconsider, it really wasn't doing anything new anymore, by then Scarlett was already broken.

The Ghoul started wearing bandages until she got a pair gloves from Rhiannon, because the bandages would get loose and slow her down in her tasks. So, Scarlett started wearing gloves during her servant days, and while the abuse to her hands gradually ceased, the mental struggle when her hands are touched, or even looked at, remained unbearable ever since.

Her hands don't physically hurt, but her memories trigger a violent response to the touch to avoid potential pain. She keeps wearing gloves as to not draw attention to her hands, because why would anyone target something they can't see?

When someone reaches out to her hands, she reacts without thinking, though might come off as hostility or annoyance when it's from humans. She'd recoil or yelp when it's a Demon instead, and she can't remain composed at all when actual pain is inflicted upon her hands; she might break down into a crying and begging mess out of the strong PTSD that it causes her.

How her gloves blend in with her outfit

If I had to guess why Cassie would refrain from asking, aside from the understandable fear of screwing up (?), it could be because they visibly blend into her outfits, almost aesthetically so. She matches them with whatever she's wearing, lace gloves for the formal outfits, classy black ones for the casual or the school one, etc. It is known that she wears gloves all the time no matter the occasion, and they change with the outfit itself to not look out of place (which is also purposeful since they would be looked at if they were mismatching). So maybe the fashion choice worked to make them subtly styled instead of purposefully hidden, until the pattern raises questions when Cassie looks at her more attentively.

I can tell you that if she just asks about it, there shouldn't be any problem. However, don't expect the absolute truth from Scarlett because she won't give it 💀 If she's asked 'why the gloves?' she might answer that she protects her hands because she's a musician and all that. Which is kinda true, as it also links to her trauma and why she started hiding her hands in the first place. But you must dig really deep into her heart if you expect her to speak up in depth about how she feels, why she feels that way, what kinds of things her hands went through, what would bring her peace, etc.

Something to note: The issue comes only when someone else touches or hurts her hands. She can hurt her hands by accident and it would trigger nothing out of the normal. It's another thing about the trust issues of this control freak; she can't control what others might do if she lets them touch her hands so she would rather not even try.

Also she doesn't wear gloves when she's alone.

Bonus: design tidbits

I thought I'd share this too bc you maybe find it interesting as a fellow artist(?) jkds.

Design-wise, I wanted her to have something that would repeat no matter what she wears, like an easter egg (?). Initially it was going to be her corset, but drawing corsets was too much work 💀 so it changed to her gloves (I also had a trauma-related reason if I kept the corset choice lmao but it ultimately made everything more complicated anyway so I trashed the idea).

Aside from that, her poses. I mentioned earlier that she needs to keep her hands on sight to have the situation under control, which is why she keeps them to herself most of the time. It applies to her sprites: the previous one had one on her chest and the other one behind her. Could be seen as carefree, but it's also a way of hiding it behind her body, while the other one is in front of her eyes. In her current sprites, both hands are in front of her, intertwining fingers, as if protecting each other (there's a double meaning of course, that hand language is usually meant to show control and composure). VERY early sprites had one hand in her hair (like below her ear) and the other on her hips. So, yeah it's been shown there all along lol.

Unless I'm experimenting with poses, Scarlett most likely won't keep her hands too far from her body.

A light-hearted note

To finish the trauma dump on a more wholesome note: If Scarlett decides to take her gloves off around someone, that is a sign of trust. She either feels safe enough around that person or trusts that the situation won't mean danger or any reason to target her hands, so she's comfortable uncovering them. However, if, after doing so, her hands do get hurt, she's never doing that again.

On a more symbolic note, her hands could (symbolically) have a direct connection with her heart. Just like she doesn't let anyone in without permission, she won't let people touch her hands. Broken hands, broken heart? Don't touch it unless you plan to be extremely careful and don't intend to cause any harm, nor squish it, nor break it again. It hurts, and I will break you before you even try to break me.

Scarlett is not one to wear her heart under her sleeve, but one could argue that her heart is actually beneath her gloves.

#📭asklett #scarlett wakahisa #dryams03 #this got long OOP but thank you for your ask<3 #tl;dr cassie can ask and survive but she wont her truthful answers (?)#im realizing that if there's something ppl wonder about scar that hasnt been revealed; its probably some kind of trauma LMAO #hand trauma went hard in 2021. good days (?#kinda proud on the last line (?) i wanna write about that soon 😌#👁‍🗨. about

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mycptsdstory · 9 months

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Another hard truth I had to learn; I need to stop helping people and fixing them.

I know where fixing people and helping people comes from. It comes from my family.

I'm the one who had to make sure my mother didn't go all psycho on people and I had to make sure, she is calm before she hangs out, goes out, or goes to work. I'm the one who always HAS TO make sure, she's doing okay. I even had to PERSUADE my family to get my mother help, because I couldn't do it myself. She had psychosis, bad!! Like, she thought the police were following her, the holes in the walls had cameras in, the lamp outside that lit up our street had a camera on (it was the sensor that turned on the lamp. You know, when it's dark, the lamp is turned on. Yeahh, that sensor). None of my family believed me. I had to quit therapy and uni because my mother got too much. She would scream at me, scratch at me, even attack me... To wake me up, because she thought someone was in the house, or someone following her. She even went missing, I had to call up the police because no one knew where she was. I had to call up old family friends, work colleagues and old church members. EVERYONE. I finally got help from the police who helped me get numbers to get my mother help. I DID THAT.

Then my sister; any time she had an argument with her husband, I had to be there for her. None of my family would do that, only me.

Then my granddad... He had schizophrenia and no one would help him, only me. I had to be there, to make sure he took his meds, got food inside him and so on. I was looking after him, since I could remember. I was a fucking child, a minor. My family didn't care about my sweet caring granddad. I did the best that I could.

Now, since I have to be this *care taker*, I had to be there for everyone. Over time tho, my help, wasn't helpful. My "help" actually became really toxic.

I grew up in this environment, where I had to help everyone that I can and could. I had to be there, so they would feel better. I became a sort of "therapist", to my own friends because I didn't want them to feel alone, like I was. Being a therapist for people, was so draining. If you're wondering, yeahh I did cause a lot of arguments, without me realising. Yeahh, it was wrong for me to do that.

A lot of friends left me because I wanted to help, when they simply didn't want too. That hurts, but I have to face the reality of it.

I wanted the person to heal and I never understood that, healing is a choice. Only you can heal, no one can do that for you.

I think now, since the pandemic and especially this past year, I've learnt the hard truth of "not everyone wants my help". And I had to accept the reality of it. It was hard, it was painful.

For years, I was this *care taker* for my family, since I could remember. My family used me. They never saw me as a person, a human being with emotions. They just saw me as an object. Then anyone who believes my family, sees me as an object too. I never wanted that.

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sleepy-edits · 2 years

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#inuyashaedit #oldanimeedit #anisource #dailyanime #animangaladies #inuyasha #kikyo #well the whole phrase per se was WORSE i just did a directors cut rolf #girl is obsessed w inuyasha and she's like either he's mine or he's dead those are the only options #ummmmmmmmmm sorry grandma your time has passed and he has gotten over you maybe seek teraphy????#anyway she's so terribly toxic what u guys see in her. resemblance in this char is bad #it is true she has gone through some hardcore betrayal but its literally the only terrible thing that ever happened to her #nothing scarred her as much as inuyasha's betrayal in fact it wasnt even inuyasha and even when she KNOWS #she doesnt care. she's stuck #she cannot let him go she cannot go on either she just....look im terribly sorry she died and stuff went down like that #but she was a PRIESTESS she took care of her village and kept the sacred jewel CLEAN from evil feelings #now she's just betraying all her life's work and devotion #i despise her for choosing this way she literally refuses to deal with her emotions & her trauma & the truth she closes her eyes to all #and chooses hate & revenge & to be miserable #i know pain & trauma can carry us to a dark path but in the end we are the ones who choose if to take it or work hard on something good #but once u take the dark path? im sorry but you have chosen to become a cruel person bc of your own sorrow and you made it #the whole fucking worlds problem outta nowhere #that's being fucking toxic and you need a chill pill #ugh i ranted hard she disappoints me terribly

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volk-swag-genitalia · 5 months

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"highschool is the best years of your life" is kinda bullshit, this is trauma inducing

#im not sure if i can use the word trauma here because i dont want to make light of the word #but truth be told #i do not want to be here anymore #you cannot believeee the amount of low key passive suicidal jokes i've made these past few weeks #and months #and idk for a while #idk if i can call this ''trauma inducing'' because i mean i have my happy moments i wont lie #its not all terrible #the people here are great #the workload makes me want to kill someone though #the jokes have made even ME concerned #and my sibling #and the guys in my head that come out every now and then #hell on earth i am not looking forward to what comes next #trying to balance schoolwork and my personal life while trying not to get another college application closed on me is #hard #look if its this hard now i am not at all looking forward to what college has in store #or what life in general has in store for me #i am not looking forward to pursuing a carreer anymore #i am not looking forward to meeting new people anymore #i am not looking forward to studying and learning new things anymore #if all its gonna be is deadlines i'll be falling behind constantly #if all its going to be are relationships i can barely maintain #if all its going to be are all nighters hoping i can finish something in 2 hours tops only to be spending an entire MONTH on what should be #1 hour worth of work #i dont want to be here and i do not look forward to what happpens next #i hope that a bus comes over and runs over my legs #remember that post i made about how i feel i am sisyphus' rock? the boulder he so tirelessly pushes up the hill #my sisyphus is dead and i don't think i have a reason to go up this hill anymore

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curseofbreadbear · 1 year

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hey howdy hey! i figured it's high time i discussed gregory's emotional state throughout sb and why he isn't, y'know, freaking out as much as he should be in-game. i have a lot of thoughts on this and i've already discussed them a bit with @securitybreachdd but i wanted to ramble about them more in-depth here!

Okay, so something I reference to myself a lot is the fact that some of Gregory's voice lines were cut from the game, lines that included him crying or reacting to injuries (i.e. the cut he got in the vents that made Freddy rush him to a first-aid station). I think that taking these lines out was a very deliberate move, and although I KNOW the twist the book is going to give us, I'd like to tackle this from a different angle (the one that inspires how I write my Gregory).

I think Gregory is a kid who has been forced to be brave and shut his own emotions down for a very, very long time; the only signs we get that he is actually frantic throughout the night are those rare instances where he lashes out at Freddy ("All they've done all night is try to get me! They get what they deserve.") or when his breathing becomes panicked in one of his hiding spots. As somebody who lingered in those spots a LOT the first time I played, that aspect actually messed me up more than the crying might have -- that feels more raw. I don't know how else to describe it.

Now, anyone who's read through my blog will know that my Gregory has cried before -- but I try to write it in a very specific way. Gregory will only cry in moments of perceived comfort, and only with those he completely trusts (i.e. Glamrock Freddy & Gabriel, his twin). Otherwise, it will not happen -- not when he's being chased, not when he has a moment to hide, not when he's alone. If he cries, and he lets his fear get the better of him, then he will not survive.

As I said earlier, I believe that the cut audio is intentional; they could have made Gregory an emotional kid who is going through a traumatic, stressful situation, and reacting to it accordingly, but they didn't. Instead, they chose to make Gregory power through it, and even showcased him getting "revenge" on the robots who tried to hurt him. It always felt like it connected to me, like Gregory was getting back at something more, and like his emotional "maturity" throughout the night could be thoroughly explained if you read between the lines.

I mean, when you choose to have Gregory leave, you find out that he's HOMELESS. That could mean a number of things; he could be a runaway, his parents are dead, etc.. No matter what, though, you can deduce that his familial situation isn't GREAT. Gregory might have been taking care of himself for some time now, which would be a big contributing factor to his emotional state throughout the night (forcing himself to be tough, doing almost everything on his own, etc.).

So, yeah. I think the reason Gregory's lack of panic, aside from scattered moments (i.e. security offices, hiding spots, etc.), really gets to me is because I can relate -- which is why I'm gradually getting more and more pissy about the "plot twist" the book is gonna throw our way, but whatever. Anyway- I think my point is that Gregory (based on SB alone) is a realistic portrayal of a kid, because I was literally LIKE THAT. I still kind of am. Bottling up all of your anxiety and tears can be devastating to you, but you really don't realize it -- you think it makes you tough, and others kind of perceive you that way, which really doesn't help. I'm sure Gregory's the same way, so that's how I try to write him.

TL;DR: Gregory is a kid with a bad home life, so he's probably had to take care of himself for a while now. A lot of kids develop a state of emotional """maturity""" after that sort of hardship, and Gregory's mostly involves bottling up his emotions, including the panic and stress he feels throughout SB.

#{ i hope it shows that im making fun of the term ''emotional maturity'' BC THATS NOT WHAT IT IS LOL }#{ its trauma bud }#🎬 || it's make believe inside your head. (headcanons.) || 🎬#🎬 || the truth is hard to swallow. (ramblings.) || 🎬#🌟 || well done superstar! (gregory.) || 🌟

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theheadlessgroom · 1 year

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https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/712094107972026368/beatingheart-bride-theheadlessgroom

@beatingheart-bride

“I understand,” he assured her, not about to push her into doing it (he already knew being on the rooftop period was a big step for her, so he could only imagine how dizzying it’d be for her to try and ascend Apollo, even with Randall himself there to keep her safe). Still, his offer stood, should she ever wish to give it a try-he’d love to take her up there, so that she could see what he’d seen that day, as the sun drifted out of sight, leaving night to encroach upon the city: What could only be described as being on top of the world.

But then again, it seemed like she knew at least the feeling, now that she had seen the absolutely glowing reviews in the papers, no doubt making her feel downright invincible, capable of doing anything. She was a star now, and he hoped she was luxuriating in that feeling, knowing she had come this far, and set the opera world ablaze with her debut. Of course, she wouldn’t rest on her laurels (unlike La Constance, who seemed fine coasting by on past glories, never trying to branch out and try something new with her performances), she would continue to climb higher, achieve more and more (which he more than looked forward to seeing), but for now...he hoped she was enjoying herself.

As he finished his sandwich and paused to take a sip of lemonade, Randall then dared to ask her, “What was it like? Being on stage, that first night?”

He’d been onstage before himself, plenty of times, but obviously...those weren’t exactly what he’d call “positive memories”, and so it made him wonder instead what it was like to stand before not a fearful, hateful crowd, but an adoring, impassioned one, who hung on every lyric she sang, looking upon her with love and admiration, and not fear and disgust...

#((the last installment to our 'phantasm' trilogy is gonna hit HARD! for everyone!))#((randall's gotta revisit ALL that childhood trauma in order to save his family; as well as come to grips with the truth))#((about his own parents and the real circumstances behind his falling into the hands of the ringmaster))#((and emily and the kids are; as you said going to be bait; having been kidnapped in order to lure randall out!))#((and i defidently think the ringmaster wouldn't balk at mutilating the three of them in order to not only make a little money))#((by putting them on display along with randall; but also just doing it to hurt him!))#((thank god dorian and elizabeth will be there to help randall; i think he's gonna need a little support early on))#((but once he gets into the swing of things he'll be able to save his family and at last avenge his parents!))#((also: HOLY COW i didn't know it was that tall! like you said i knew it was big too!))#((but THAT big? damn!!))#outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Phantasm of the Mansion

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