#too bad I am too obsessed with Russian right now

[silverstarsimuran]

Will you marry me?

A small fanfiction about the famous blue hedgehog Sonic and the equally famous pink hedgehog Amy Rose. It is based on the Russian folk tale "The Crane and the Heron".

Sonic is the most famous blue super—fast hedgehog in the whole wide world, who is ready to protect the weak and fight various villains in order to save the whole world. And for several years, he fought with his worst enemy, Dr. Eggman, as well as many other villains and bad guys. And when peace and quiet finally came, and Eggman retired, the hedgehog thought about his personal life. His best friends, Tails and Knuckles, had already married and had their own children, and he was all alone… And that's why Sonic decided to start a family too!

"I think Amy would be a wonderful wife." She's a pretty good girl and friend. However, a few years earlier, she pestered me with her obsessive love… But then she was a girl and I was a teenager, and now we've both grown up, so we can get married. I hope that she still loves me if I'm going to propose to her … — the hedgehog thought about it and, before going to a friend, combed his needles, polished his sneakers to shine, attached a flower to his bandana, prepared a beautiful bouquet with pink roses, and then ran to the pink hedgehog's house. He knocked on the door.

— Who's there? Her voice was soon heard.

—It's me, Amy, Sonic,— he replied. — I came to tell you something important.

Amy opened the door and stepped out onto the threshold. She was slightly surprised to see Sonic with a bouquet of flowers. And the hedgehog himself got down on one knee and held out a bouquet.

"Amy, I realized that my life is boring without you right now, and therefore I would like to ask…" he began and then smiled at the girl. "Will you marry me?"

— No.

Sonic fell into a stupor from this answer.

— W-why? .. He asked her in a trembling voice.

— Yes, because you're a fool, Sonic! I've been chasing you for so many years, and you… You've denied me love so many times! And I'm just tired of being treated like this, so I don't want to have anything to do with you! Goodbye! With these words, the hedgehog slammed the door in the hedgehog's face.

Sonic remained on his knee for several minutes, in shock. The roses in the bouquet had already withered after the girl's abrupt refusal. And then, a few minutes later, the hedgehog came to his senses and sauntered home.

Meanwhile, in the house, Amy thought: "Oh, it seems that I was too rude to Sonic… After all, he kind of fell in love with me at last, came to me with flowers, and I…" — the hedgehog was sad, and then said resolutely to herself:

— I have to go and apologize to Sonic! After all, I have loved him since childhood! And now I love him! And I dreamed of becoming his wife! We must not miss such a chance! — now it's the girl's turn to dress up: she put on red beads, a pretty ribbon with flowers, a new red and white dress - and then she left the house and went to Sonic.

The hedgehog, in turn, was watching TV, trying to somehow entertain himself and cheer himself up after Amy's refusal. Suddenly he heard a knock on the door. Sonic got up from the sofa and went out on the threshold, the not unknown Miss Rose stood in front of him with a slightly guilty look.

— Sonic, please forgive me for my behavior… In general, I thought about it and decided to agree to become your wife…" she said and looked hopefully at Sonic, expecting to hear: "Of course, Amy, I forgive you! I am so glad that you have agreed to become my wife!" But she heard the opposite:

"You know, Amy, I don't feel like getting married anymore. And maybe it's for the best that we're not together? After all, you used to annoy me so much with your love for me when I was fighting enemies. So go away, Amy," and Sonic closed the door. Amy started crying and went home, and under a sudden rush of rain, which was just right for the sad mood of the hedgehog.

And Sonic was suddenly horrified to himself: "What a fool I am! Why did I refuse her when I decided to start a family and end my loneliness? I have to go and apologize and propose to her again!"

Sonic ran to Amy a few minutes later, despite the rain, and knocked on her door, a girl with tear-stained eyes came out to meet him.

"Amy, I'm sorry I sent you away. I've been such a jerk to you. Please forgive me and… marry me…" he cast a pleading glance at her, but she frowned and answered him:

— No, Sonic, I can't forgive you for being so rude! Besides, if you're asking me to get married, where's the engagement ring? And you know what else, Sonic? You're a goat, not a hedgehog! Now get out of here! — and she closed up, and the hedgehog, dejected, wandered to his room. Later, Amy came to Sonic again to ask for forgiveness, and he drove her away again. But after only a few minutes, he once again remembered how bad it was to live alone, and therefore, taking the ring (This is one of the golden rings that Sonic collects in games.), he ran to the girl. But she refused again and threw the guy out.

And more than a dozen times the hedgehogs ran to each other, asking for forgiveness and offering a life together. But Sonic got tired of it one day, so he gave up trying to marry Amy. But after some time, he met another girl with whom he began a romantic relationship, and after realizing that they loved each other, the hedgehog still made a marriage proposal to the new chosen one, and she agreed. And Sonic finally had a family with whom he was very happy.…

And as for Amy, they say she was left alone to shed tears "over a broken trough"…

#sonic #fanfic #fanfics #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #Sonic AND Amy #not really SONAMY #Funny fanfic #silly hedgehogs

[lu-lus-duckies]

As Leonid Parfenov said, “Good afternoon, dear friends." In short, good time of the day. While I was studying Mayakovsky's poems, several more questions came to my mind.

Who is your favorite poet? Author? What languages do you know? How many? Are you planning to study any others? Favorite book/movie/show? Why are you on Tumblr? What are searching for? PC or console? If console, which one? Apple or Android? If Apple, then which one, and if Android, then which one? Apples or pears? In general, fruits, vegetables or berries?

Haha, no, I am not Russian spy. Or am I???

But seriously, I just like making friends online, and I made you, a mysterious stranger, whoever is managing this blog, basically my friend, because you reply to me, I reply to you, and that's all I need

ha, nice try russian spy. I know what you are

my favorite poet is rustaveli which is a georgian poet. surprisingly I don't read much poetry. he's just got vefxistyaosani

I can speak only 2 fluently, my native language goergian and english, though at this point I know more english than my own. I can say maybe a few sentences in german and spanish and I can read a lot more alphabets than I can speak. I can read russian but I don't know what the words mean

I am not planing on studying anything. I hate reading, it's one of the reasons why I chose arts

favorite book? don't have one, I hate reading. favorite movie? don't have one since i've seen like 3 in total. favorite show? whatever cartoon I've watched most recently. right now that is hazbin hotel and ramshackle

I made this account on a whim to post some ideas I had and maybe get back to making art for fun. long story short, daddy nunalastor welcomed me in their arms and now I have 20+ husbands and a really bad obsession with daddy nunalastor to the point where I might start questioning my own sexuality

I'm searching for your location, mr russian spy

pc. I don't have consoles. I have a really old pc that I'm surprised is still alive somehow

android, I like being able to customize and I really don't like apple's marketing tactics. I could go into full detail about why I hate apple so much but I can see the appeal of apple products ngl

I have a samsung A52 cuz I'm broke but my favorite android phone of all time is samsung s21 ultra. i absolutely love the design. google pixels seem nice too

apples. I hate pears

good question. I'm a picky eater so I can't answer this question. probably vegetables

#btw dw #I'm just messing around <3 I can stop accusing you of bein a russian spy tho if you feel uncomfy #lulu is feral #lulu lore #lulu asks

[cogcltrcorn]

I was tagged by @flippy-floppy , and I have maybe taken this a bit too seriously.

hmmm. this is actually very hard bc I am very bad at remembering things. also I very frequently obsess over books that are like, objectively Bad (like have I spent a solid 2 months thinking about it by stephen king and only about it by stephen king? yes. is it good? no. did I like it? no. did I still analyze it thoroughly? yes. next question). so. yeah. anyway

I will for sure wake up tomorrow like "OH MY GOD HOW COULD I FORGET [BLANK]" but I am at peace with that fact

in no particular order:

Fathers and sons, Ivan Turgenev - well. it's a book about russian nihilism, it's a book about the political schism between the generations in 19th century russia, and it's a book about idolizing reason and then being forced to contend with the fact that you are still a human being that is both capable of love and craves it deeply. also it is lowkey about being a college student homoerotically enraptured with your very smart and charismatic friend who is an absolute dick. and what happens if you bring this guy to stay with you and your family during the break.

chronicles of amber by roger zelazny - I am gonna be honest with you I do not remember half of that series. including this might be cheating bc it's like. 10 books. whatever. rules are made up. it's good. it's very fucking good. just writing about it right now makes me want to reread it. anyway it's fantasy and there's reality shifting and there is complex lore and yeah no I think this book has radically altered my brain chemistry when I read it.

twenty thousand leagues under the seas by jules verne - look. 9 yo cog fucking Loved boring descriptions of marine wildlife. I was fucking Entranced by this book. this book started my years long obsession with jules verne novels. I may or may not be autistic. like really I can put like. 5 jules verne books on this list. are they incredibly dated and filled to the brim with trademarked 19th century classist and racist bullshit? yes. are they boring as fuck if you do not care about like, the mechanics of building a kiln on a deserted island? yes. but I did. I did care about building a kiln. I wanted to know how traveling to the center of the earth would go. and I wanted to know if the gentleman could get around the world in 80 days. whatever. the important things is that I loved those books and I still love them and they are, at their core, about how fucking cool humans are and how we are capable of great achievements if we apply ourselves and how incredible the world around us is.

do androids dream of electric sheep? by philip k dick - once again there could be like. 4 books on this list. I fucking love his stuff actually. the man has spent his entire life doing coke, getting scared as a result, and then writing kick ass novels about what scared him. he got really into gnosticism by the end of his life. he thought that god talked to him through a spot of light. I fucking love his books. anyway. this specific one is about the way human spirit sirvives in a future that is rendered nearly uninhabitable by capitalistic greed. the world of do androids dream of electric sheep is artificial, obsessed with its own artificiality, and obsessed with proving itself to be Not artificial, ironically, inventing increasingly artificial ways to prove it. plot twist! the only real thing in the world built for profit is the human connections you build! anyway. I have beef with blade runner the movie bc it is NOT A GOOD ADAPTATION OF THE BOOK and has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. I AM SICK AND TIRED.

actually I lied. here is another philip k dick novel

a scanner darkly - well. how do I explain. ok so basically this is a deeply biographical novel about the loss of identity and connection to reality as a result of drug usage. I fucking love it. reading it makes me go fucking insane. I highly recommend this to all of you, my darling succession mutuals

interview with the vampire, anne rice - made me insane. a theological and philosophical discussion with the guy with the weirdest moral code you have ever seen, with the added bonus of him complaining about his stupid greedy whore of an ex-husband

obligatory mention of 1984 by george orwell - well sorry. he did spit some facts here. also i need to re-read this bc I last read it like 6 years ago and I miss it. I feel kinda unoriginal by saying I love it but like. it Is good. I want to kill the protagonist with hammers, but it IS good... I think of her (1984 by george orwell) often....

red dragon, thomas harris - ok well you see I don't actually have to explain anything to you, do I? I just love it. don't know why. will graham is like a bug to me.

the count of monte cristo, alexander dumas - YET AGAIN!! GOD IS THIS BOOK ENCHANTING IF YOU ARE A CHILD NERD. it has everything: prison escape, complex revenge plot, brooding hero, a long ass side story that seems to have no connection to the main plot but eventually connects back to it, 19th century orientalism. man.

seeing the things other people have posted for this thingy made me realize I need to diversify my reading habits. mayhaps a man should not exclusively read postmodernist sci-fi and 19th century adventure novels. oh well.

anyway. if you wanna do it you can and you should. also go read philip k dick he is underrated as fuck

#yeah no. take my phone away from me

[kiraman]

I AM ON MY KNEES SCREAMING ALL OVER THIS VID goodness me!! it takes a lot of NERVE to stare into someone BURSTING like a mf firework with rage and beg “COOL IT COOL IT COOL IT”

he is so SLEEK. so focused, ruthless, relentless, an agent of his own will, he can already see the finish line and nothing’s waiting for him there but death but he’s already dead anyway, he’s got nothing to lose. LIKE.

i can’t explaing how much I LOVE writing modern mizu as yakuza-born vengeful, furious, tormented orphan unleashed like a raging inferno upon the world, hungered for revenge!!!!! this is my fav AU and i am OBSESSED

he is the boogeyman? mizu is the onryo. he kills for what’s been violently taken from him? so does SHE and she’s unstoppable, uncompromising, ferocious, unhinged I AM RAMBLING but some parts of my story just have me so floored because I frantically, fiendishly adore this modern version of Mizu SO BAD

“One of the russians asks him incredulously if he’s got a woman stashed away somewhere. ’‘probably in a freezer” Vladmir, the driver, comments later. Mizu does not answer. She does not smile. Apathetically she slowly dons her leather jacket, readjusts her shades on her nose. In the morning, a man washes up on the banks of the river. Vladmir does not show up at work.

LIKE SHE. SHE!!!

and when she cries out in desperation, says “Mizu please. Fuck, please—” Mizu stills the hand between her legs to complete motionlessness, growls. “No— ride my hand.” And she does, god, she does, she’s a wild thing on her lap, feral with desire; she clutches at her shoulders and rolls her hips violently back and forth, lets her fingers sink inside her again and again, snapping her hips forward, hungered for more. Mizu keeps her hand achingly still, tightly pressed against her pussy, but she, too, is completely gone, hanging on by a thread; she watches her ride her hand, feels her walls spasm around her fingers, feels them quiver, god she’s burning from the inside out, taking her in again and again, she’s barely lifting her hips off of her now, keeps her fingers buried so deep inside her, Mizu thinks nothing will ever be able to fill her like her fingers have,

LIKE BITCH. why are you so FERAL.

She looks like an electrical storm waiting to happen. There is thunder in the way she cracks her bones, slow, precise, everything about her is so, dark and hungered, even the way she looks at you has teeth. She wonders who Smoke really is at 4 a.m. when the rest of the world is sleeping. She’s never seen her fall asleep, just once, back in that room, overtaken by fever…

listen writing this chapter is absolutely DEMOLISHING me. I am trying so so hard to find the right words and ways to make you all understand how INSANE she is, trying so hard to somehow cross all the wires. all of them. every wire in her very human damaged beyond repair (huh) brain—rage and fury, love, desire, sex, hatred, hunger, repulsion, shame, pragmatism and choice; affection and how she LOATHES it because she is so unworthy she doesn't know what to do with it , her anger that eats her up right down to her bones, pride, betrayal, her selfishness. her lies. all of them, every single one—make it snarl up like a bunch of her lover’s necklaces left on top of her dresser before she leaves her.

She rips right through the night like a bullet, fills her hands with blood. when she comes back she sits soaked in blood that is not her own on the floor and slowly, perfectly, unerringly unpicks those necklaces left on her dresser, so that Geraldine can wear them again. She does not react when she thanks her but eats her out like she is starving for it and when she tries to return the favour Mizu shrugs her off and takes the COLDEST iciest shower possible. when she leaves, she does not look back. BYE this girl is insane I love her. Mizu in her dapper suit, shades on, neon light glinting off its pristine skeleton, that sleek curling strand of her hair falling into her eye, sprawled out, legs open, the two top buttons of her shirt undone and a perpetual cold snarl on her mouth which is very sweet and sometimes slick with lipstick.... PEACE OUT

#this is me just being EXCITED over my own fictional character of a fictional character based on ANOTHER fictional character BYE #sex cw// #violence cw // #for the snippets lmao #writing misadventures galore. #john wick tag. #killing strangers. #inspo tag #UGHHHH #john wick mizu i know u would DETEST me but pls give me one (1) chance

[chanelfunnell]

Q@A

a) anon, shame Trevor Zegras is injured. I like his technical style of the game when he's serious about hockey and frankly, he's a little bit crazy off ice but adorable. We all need to laugh so to his horrible footwear. He is on the left..I know he is dorky as well and the shoes are super trendy.

B) anon, I am glad to see Tazer but I am not glad to see him in this puffy face state it is puffier than before and definitely he has not bloated face during his struggles in 2020, 2021. I'd point a finger on Meghan Butler in his life as all Marcus Aubrey's crap quasi medicine is up to Tazer's throat. He also clinges to old memories, having his old buddies over. What a coach said about his moods is quite scary. Maybe also booster by the intake of Aubrey's bs.

He's still handsome and adorable when he's serious, not furious but you see he is not all right and so his look aka so bloated face. Either health problems with kidneys that he does not admit etc or some substance by M Aubrey's use. Obviously it's a circle because he struggles withbkack of his routine and old team mates, changes, Lindsey pregnant again, Kaner is gone, his Blackhawks career ends soon so he clinges more and more to that bad support...tjan breaking the circle and facing the music...and these people are more fragile and getting more and more addicted to certain sect or drugs, pills etc..

C) anon, the Blackhawks injury list is vast, I am sorry for Tomorrow, Reese Johnson, good Tyler Johnson is back but they did not play so bad in last couple of games based on the injuries and newbies. I guess Seth Jones is calmer captain than nervous Tazer who was amazing when he did well off and on ice because he can't deal with losses.

D) anon, Crosby's long term crazy fan Ashley who is followed by Tazer is off the railing and on memory lane to Vancouver which was 13 years ago. Please...with all of that

You need to ask her or betteer, try to ask Sidney Crosby and Marketa whether they have dated, slept together, kissed or had a fling...i do not bother and no way after 10 years like Ashley. Obviously Kathy is in his life despite her denials and calling her a generic bland blonde. I am not a big fan of Kathy as I think she's bland lazy Step ford Wife but she is pretty and a serious partner of Sidney Crosby. Marketa and Kathy are the similar type at least in face department and Crosby has reacted to the Blackhawks and Hossa's photoshoot of 12 apostles of Last Supper as a copycat of flat caps so .....speculate...Ashley has been obsessed with her beside Kathy Leather for ages. We do not know how many children Marketa has and so about her partner's. We know 2, one of 8 years and one soccer player. Se has a baby boy apparently but no one knows. Whether true or not I guess when she will crawl out with any kid on the skates it will be definitely a champion with a huge game IQ and these two Vancouver goal champions once young bucks Crosby and Toews will start their own families. They are 36 and 35 years old this year for the sake of good hockey DNA and dynasties!!!!!

E) it is Nico Hirshier's sister, calm down, anon also a sister of Nurse etc is very good looking. At least NJ Devils are devils on the ice once again after years of tanking.

f) did you see Lafranieree and his cheeky sneaky puck between legs manoeuvre? He is brilliant if he wants to be as he is older now. It is stupid to put just 18 years old kid into NHL season to play permanently but he plays better with Kakko and he's too much sensitive or angry. When he gets his crap out of his head it's an amazing smart game and footwork to watch. Then Russian players and I don't mean Ovechkin empty entree but Kaprizov and his magic. I can't find on my stupid cell phone a video of certain game but I am not able to upload photos from that phone to Tumblr as well...

g)anon, I guess Dallas and San Jose players have huge competition in Skinner and new Swedish defenseman of the Oilers regarding moustache and a stubble, well, a beard department so Hannah Montana's dad with his doppelganger with a mullet in Mullet Arena. What a place to celebrate.

#Jack Hughes #Kappo Kakko #Nhl #Ice hockey #Nick Hirshier's #New Jersey Devils #Jonathan Toews #Captain #chicago blackhawks #Seth Jones #Reese Johnson #patrick kane #Sidney Crosby #kathy leutner #Pittsburgh Penguins #Trevor Zegras #anaheim ducks #San Jose Sharks

[luxshine]

Stranger Things 3 Episode 6

And we start with Robin and Erica getting up to date sort of in what the upside down is. Or well, more likely "The end of the human race as we know it" as Dustin puts it. And of course, Steve didn't punch the russian hard enough, and we have to run. His kids are in danger, and he hates when his kids are in danger.

Aww, Robin joined the babysitter club. And now they're trapped. But Dustin and Erica got free and I know that's all what Steve cares about.

MEanwhile, the teen detective squad is in deep shit, and the kids finally realized the Mind Flyer -who is looking uglier at the moment- is in the hospital where security is FAR lacking than the Russian security.

Is it bad that I wish Nancy will get eaten? I mean, I know she wont, but I still wish she would.

ELEVEN for the save! I love El being a badass instead of the scared little girl she used to be.

Ooh, the Mayor is in trouble with the russians.

And he's going to die if he keeps badmouthing the russians.

Alexei is going to defect to USA is he? If he survives.

Hooper needs to work on his negotiation techniques.

Even if he was right about the seven foot russian being scarier than him.

So, Dustin IS updating Erica on the whole thing. And of course, she doesn't believe that her brother was in the whole thing.

Erica is a NERD, a secret Nerd, but a Nerd nonetheless. And Dustin likes My Little Pony! I love him!

Poor Steve! But he is really good at lying by telling the truth. He DOES work for Scoops Ahoy and he was accidentally in the elevator because he didn't know it was an elevator.

OTOH, the soldiers must think Steve is the best trained spy in the UNIVERSE given that he never gave them the right answer to "who do you work for" according to them.

El is looking for the mass of people, Mike and Max arguing about who takes care of her better, and she should be looking for Dustin.

I am so glad everyone agrees that Mike is terrible boyfriend. I mean, yes, he loves her, but that doesn't mean he has the right to tell her what to do.

Oh, hey, Alexei FINALLY told them about the gate! Hooper and Joyce are going to be VERY angry.

Hooper needs to stop drinking.

"The fortress made by the greatest russian minds" And it was easily broken in by two teenagers and two kids. Alexei has way too much confidence in his people.

Holy shit, are they going to find Dart?

Erica is amazing.

Awww, Steve missed Dustin's first drive. He totally needs to teach his son to drive.

Robin has the brain. Good thing because Steve's head is totally contused.

Robin is SO the fucking Sister that Steve never had, but totally needed. The writers are trying to make me think that there's a romance there because the whole "I was obsessed with you" speech, but no, Robin is not really giving me the lover for Steve's vibe. They really have the sibling's chemistry down pat.

Oooh... Truth serum. That is NOT going to be good for the Russians.

Lucas is a very bad strategist.

Oh, hey, El is having flashbacks to that sister we never saw again. Very cool.

Mike is going to really sacrifice the world for El? He is an idiot. And yes, he needs to start trusting her.

Seriously, series? Are you trying to make me feel bad for Billy at THIS stage? Showing me Billy's memories when he was happy? Bit late. He may have been a nice kid, but he grew up to be an ass and I can't really wait for him to be blob chow.

Joyce really needs to take charge more often. That was hot.

oh, god, the Scoops Ahoy team is high as hell. This is going to be fun. As long as that doctor doesn't get to play.

Oh, Steve just gave Dustin away. But hey, Steve is right. Hopper has called the calvary. Not because Dustin told him, but he called the calvary.

That alarm? Is not the calvary. Dustin and Erica did something.

Oh, shit, Dustin and Erica DID a big something.

Dustin saved the Super Nanny! Love him

SIgh. Are we going to end up with Billy being a result of a very broken home and a violent dad. Sigh. Nope, sorry, I don't like him and I still won't like him.

And if his trauma is feeding the darn Mind Flayer I'm going to like him less.

Oh, shit. El is trapped in the mental void with Billy. And the Mind Flayer, which is worse.

And seriously, I have to give the series props for mixing The Thing, the Blob and The Invasion of the Body Snatchers in such a good way. The march of the flayers is really creepy, especially how they join into the big big creature.

#Stranger Things #Stranger Things 3 #Steve Harrington #Dustin Henderson #Erica Sinclair #Robin #Do we have a surname for Robin? #The others

[theold-ultraviolence]

yep! I got some rest (by procrastinating on working on my master's degree, but hey... self-care!).

I low key want to learn Russian + other languages once I grow old (I have a whole list of things to do once I retire, which I don't think that will happen soon according to Italian policies but, ugh), since I feel like right now I'd probably stop exercising halfway through but yeah, it is indeed very cool!

and yeah, I don't think that there is any place where there isn't a problematic and also I am trying to move away, although I don't think that it'd be permanent as 1) I need sea in my life, 2) I love my family to bits (although they drive me mad), so I might consider doing a few years abroad (if I find employment) and then coming back.

ALSO I KNOW ABOUT CANADIANS HATING CANADA! once we had a Canadian dude come to high school for an English activity and he was like 'no, Canada is awful. people won't greet you or socialize' and I was like 'do you want to switch lives?' (also not saying that it's a perfect place, but I don't know...) (but also I couldn't survive in the cold, so I talk big but the truth is that it goes below 0 and I am cursing the gods for such a forsaken weather!).

bestie, I have to confess that I lack much filmography about Italian directors but I'll definitely brainstorm for a few recs. right now the thing that most stuck to me is 'My Brilliant Friend' which is a TV series. it's a story of a friendship between two girls (if you liked the Rhaenicient, they are very similar) in 1950s Naples. I honestly LOVE it (and also read the books) but also they speak dialect so I don't know how helpful it might be, but it's very beautiful!

(also Alice Rowatcher is involved in it, as she was also one of the candidates for an Oscar in the short film catalogue, if I am not wrong).

also if you want a commentary onto Italian life there is Paolo Sorrentino and Paolo Virzì (also disclaimer: they are very dark and stressing not an easy watch; I find it funny that we watched it at cineforum - in high school we have like meetups monthly with different classes to watch a movie + discuss it - but also during the first meeting (when we were fourteen) we watched 'Trainspotting', so...)

also Roberto Benigni and Fellini are both kind of famous and mainstream. in all truth, I am not an expert, sorry if this seems very much like a mess, but if I find anything interesting I'll pass it over.

also YEAH, THE COLOGNE MENTION I... oh gods, I'd oh gods... I am going to have a mental breakdown.

(part of me feels like he'd definitely go for Tom Ford or Montale, but also feel too mainstream. he'd have like his own fragrances mixed for him, I...).

(I love how by now we are all obsessed with him dressing down) but YEAH, also like imagine that he lets it slip that he'd really like to know your option as he values it (I'd be ON MY KNEES, MOUTH FOAMING) and he is helping you put everything and being balanced (I did it sat down because bestie, you better believe I'd be falling on my ass) and you are blushing and sputtering and... so yeah... I want this man.

(also I get you about the clothes; I have only started to low key put on the dresses I wanted. also I sometimes will overdress a bit for class and once my friend was like 'you can tell that you are rich - which I am not - because you always overdress'. so, I GET THE STRUGGLE! we all deserve our own museum curator! Aemond) (also half of my clothes are back at home, while I am at uni so I also don't always have my dresses because I am like '... I only go to uni, I don't have events to attend so why crowd my small wardrobe'. the struggle is real).

-🌗

Ohhhh bestie I dream of being able to retire but it seems we're in a similar position! retiring has become a freaking myth here. And LOL!! I relate to that so hard because, I want to get away so bad but I don't think I'd be able to make it without the food and the humor 😅 but also, totally about Canada. I'm always like 'I wanna live somewhere that's cold, I can't stand the heat here' and when I was there, the first month with seeing all the snow and stuff was cool, but then I was like 'MAKE IT STOP PLEASE, I NEED SOME SUN'.

And about directors, OMG OF COURSE! HOW COULD I FORGET FELLINI! And I have a couple of dvds with Roberto Begnini!! From Paolo Sorrentino I think I've only watched the movie 'Youth' and I think that was in english (?) I do know Alice!! Her movie 'Happy as Lazzaro' has been on my 'to watch- list since forever. I'm taking notes on everything you've just shared and refreshing my 'to watch' list asap. Thank you so much for this!

Also I'm absolutely screaming crying over Aemond having his own cologne mixed up for him. That is SO right for him, oh my fucking god he absolutely WOULD. Imagine that, by the time you're properly dating, you're looking to buy him a gift, either for his birthday or christmas or an anniversary, just, any special occassion. And you notice that his bottle of cologne is running low, so one day, you spy on his cabinet of toiletries to catch what exact brand he wears, and you're struck because the bottle doesn't have any brand label or anything at all. You're totally perplexed and lowkey dissappointed because you really wantes to surprise him with it.

So one day he notices you moping around, asks what happened and you have to confess. He's just chuckling to himself, feeling all soft about the detail, and then takes you out on a date to the place where he gets it mixed. Now you know exactly where his cologne is from and what notes it has on it in case you want to buy it for him in the future. And he also treats you, so you can have your own personalized perfume.

And YEAH SAME about overdressing!!! I swear I'd love to wear my nicer things to work, but. I work at the Arts Faculty. There's random paint EVERYWHERE. I swear I lean down on a wall or at a desk and suddenly I'm all stained with ink or paint that DOES NOT come off. I got myself this very nice black coat that is super pretty and great to wear for work because it's lightweight but warm. And then. It happened. The doom of the random stains. And it's not washable so I have to take it to the dry cleaner's which is a pain in the neck alk;djflkdjsglkjfkjg

#🌗

[magsinhiding]

America I’ve given you all and now I’m nothing.

America two dollars and twentyseven cents January 17, 1956.

I can’t stand my own mind.

America when will we end the human war?

Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb.

I don’t feel good don’t bother me.

I won’t write my poem till I’m in my right mind.

America when will you be angelic?

When will you take off your clothes?

When will you look at yourself through the grave?

When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites?

America why are your libraries full of tears?

America when will you send your eggs to India?

I’m sick of your insane demands.

When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks?

America after all it is you and I who are perfect not the next world.

Your machinery is too much for me.

You made me want to be a saint.

There must be some other way to settle this argument.

Burroughs is in Tangiers I don’t think he’ll come back it’s sinister.

Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke?

I’m trying to come to the point.

I refuse to give up my obsession.

America stop pushing I know what I’m doing.

America the plum blossoms are falling.

I haven’t read the newspapers for months, everyday somebody goes on trial for murder.

America I feel sentimental about the Wobblies.

America I used to be a communist when I was a kid I’m not sorry.

I smoke marijuana every chance I get.

I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses in the closet.

When I go to Chinatown I get drunk and never get laid.

My mind is made up there’s going to be trouble.

You should have seen me reading Marx.

My psychoanalyst thinks I’m perfectly right.

I won’t say the Lord’s Prayer.

I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations.

America I still haven’t told you what you did to Uncle Max after he came over from Russia.

I’m addressing you.

Are you going to let your emotional life be run by Time Magazine?

I’m obsessed by Time Magazine.

I read it every week.

Its cover stares at me every time I slink past the corner candystore.

I read it in the basement of the Berkeley Public Library.

It’s always telling me about responsibility. Businessmen are serious. Movie producers are serious. Everybody’s serious but me.

It occurs to me that I am America.

I am talking to myself again.

Asia is rising against me.

I haven’t got a chinaman’s chance.

I’d better consider my national resources.

My national resources consist of two joints of marijuana millions of genitals an unpublishable private literature that jetplanes 1400 miles an hour and twentyfive-thousand mental institutions.

I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of underprivileged who live in my flowerpots under the light of five hundred suns.

I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers is the next to go.

My ambition is to be President despite the fact that I’m a Catholic.

America how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as individual as his automobiles more so they’re all different sexes.

America I will sell you strophes $2500 apiece $500 down on your old strophe

America free Tom Mooney

America save the Spanish Loyalists

America Sacco & Vanzetti must not die

America I am the Scottsboro boys.

America when I was seven momma took me to Communist Cell meetings they sold us garbanzos a handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the speeches were free everybody was angelic and sentimental about the workers it was all so sincere you have no idea what a good thing the party was in 1835 Scott Nearing was a grand old man a real mensch Mother Bloor the Silk-strikers’ Ewig-Weibliche made me cry I once saw the Yiddish orator Israel Amter plain. Everybody must have been a spy.

America you don’t really want to go to war.

America its them bad Russians.

Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen. And them Russians.

The Russia wants to eat us alive. The Russia’s power mad. She wants to take our cars from out our garages.

Her wants to grab Chicago. Her needs a Red Reader’s Digest. Her wants our auto plants in Siberia. Him big bureaucracy running our fillingstations.

That no good. Ugh. Him make Indians learn read. Him need big black niggers. Hah. Her make us all work sixteen hours a day. Help.

America this is quite serious.

America this is the impression I get from looking in the television set.

America is this correct?

I’d better get right down to the job.

It’s true I don’t want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts factories, I’m nearsighted and psychopathic anyway.

America I’m putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

#allen ginsberg #america

[findinginga]

A letter to a narcissist…

Ms. Reshetnikova,

 It would seem my blog post notifications reached you either directly or you were informed by one of your acquaintances.  No doubt this triggered an episode of narcissistic shame for you and in your rage, you decided to lash out. 

I did not read your email but can guess that you took the time to make me the bad guy and describe how it was my fault for ending our 3 year acquaintance.  It is likely you attempted to project your own behavior on to me as you repeatedly did in the past when suggesting I was too sensitive or too suspicious or too serious.  Perhaps you attempted to tell me that my memory is bad or selective or suggest that I not drink so much implying this was affecting me cognitively.  Maybe you again tried to convince me that I do not understand Russian women and that a Russian man would be different and that I am too aggressive.  Maybe you just wrote that I gain some sort of sadistic pleasure from outing you!  Of course, I am sure you did not address your past behavior and how it factored into these moments.  Right?  Denial and revisionist history are the tools of a narcissist.

I am sure you were able to concoct a lie to tell your “flying monkey” acquaintances in order to save face.  Something along the lines of. “He is crazy.  He is some old guy who is obsessed with me. He is abusive and sadistic."  Something along those lines will probably work to get you some sympathy.  Of course, you left out the real facts.  So let's be real here.  You do not like the fact that you and your behaviors were exposed to your alleged "friends" and to your family.  It has nothing to do with what I wrote as you do not care about your past behaviors.  You care about being unmasked.

Now, I informed you months ago that I was starting a blog.  I am not sure what you though I would be writing but my goal was to provide information to others who may have either encountered a dating scam or may be dealing with a pathological narcissist.  You are angry that I used Instagram to promote my posts and you are angry that I specifically targeted some of your acquaintances.  People who deal with you have a right to know the real you - at least the you that you attempt to hide.

Unlike you, who does not believe she has an obligation to apologize or explain her behavior, I chose to respond to you only so that you know the reason for my actions.  I do not want or expect a reply because anything you write will be your narcissist rage.  I have learned there is no point to explain anything more or attempt to help. 

I will not apologize for my actions as this is my way of finally declaring my complete independence.  I will not offer your forgiveness again, as I did in the past, because it only serves to enable your cruel, uncaring and self-centered behavior.

Good luck with your life going forward and try to think about your actions.

#relationship #pskov #dating scam #narcissistic sociopath #ingeborga #scam #npd #reshetnikov #jewellerysiren #lopatyuk

[solardick]

Uh. The Vatican has its own country of 500 people.

India 1,4 billion. China 1.4 billion. Canada. 38 million.

So what came first, the chiken or the egg? It’s so odd. Create the image, influences then come to being. … how does that work?… at any rate, the card works. Works as a powerful transmuted christian image. Helpd to pull the carnivorous nature of reptiles, dinosaurs and monsters into a positive momentum. Bearing semblance to magestic creators. Fear in knowing the dangers of its rebuke. If thats not too harsh of a word. Not knowing the still pressence of what should be radiating light. Warm rays of sunshine on a cool departure. Intimidation. Engagement is perplexing.

This card placed ontop of the deck. Centerd between the two 5’s of ten. The pope raising its hand. Two fingers to the sun. Pointing up about to infinity. Save that it can replace the pope card. Breaking out a barrier. balancing the equation between sexes.

Adds definition to strength as harmony. Clashes horrendously with waites magician. Belittling the serpent as a belt to hold up his pants with. Is that its purpose? Well people back then were fucked. Thats the generation that started ww 1 and 2….

It becomes the center card of the deck layout. And the pope card doesnt lose any signicance as it is p’aced above on a spot on high. A throne. Which he is clear’y occupying.

Anyway the two infinity cards from the tarot become the parents to the serpent. Showing the emperor’s holy lineage. Ideally the devil card 15 from tarot modified to the likness of the serpent shows from what the empress is descended from.

Connected to my personalize oO death card numbering 15 connects it again to the sex. Symbolizing that wanting inrush of potency towards the creation of kin. Or to what id expect it to be in reality. Those glowing red cheeks. Mmmnn. Theres nothing more beautiful.

So i was watching some gay porn just the other day and, i felt bad for the bitch. Poor guy. So i went and jerked off to a hot russian getting banged in a sports bar toilet stall.

Well think im just going to start smoking whole cigarettes now and stop ripping them in half, so the girl has less reason to swoon over me. Hate being psychic like that. Since her nature is like that. She locks on to a small detail of something that isnt up to standard or whatever and goes obsessive. Seek and destroy based on her own delusional egotistic set. But. Everything i do is wrong and over agrandized. Its like they all pretend to be my mother. While others do the same. Its on’y a problem if its coming from me. Hows its always been. Time to eeupt. Hurt me some more. Whole other around do worse. Yup. Thats life.

Oh no i no i daid atupid. Time to start freaking the fuck out in bits of over energized destruction! « Hey mom can we” ehat! I said can we…? What?! I said can we? Ehat?! I dont understand you! Blag blah blah. Ok start beating in my face. Sorry i suggested soemthig helpful and posiitve. Oh well, guessnom never talking to you again even ifbit was a life of seath situation. You would listen anyway. Just beat on me some more. While playing to good christian. To all the girls and boys. Fuck off.

Not allowed to escape that reality by the maneuverings of other people. Im here for the sole purpose of being fucked. Laways was. There is no such thing as justice in life. Only punishment. Theres bothign to learn in life except not to try. “Shouldn’t we try to fix this family? Maybe go see a family therapist?” Oh yeah right. No one else cares. You wouldnt even send me to thearapy to save my life. Why did i try?

Your all fucken dead to me. The only differenve i dont go out of my way to fuck your lives. And gere i am 39 years later still being raped by existance. Its all its ever been. Nothing to learn. No wag to grow. Just the same bs from others. The way its alway been. I do t want to be alive anymore. All life does is fuck with me by criminal minds. Unyilnyou lose your sanity and then get fucked some more vause theres actually a good excuse this time. Hahahahahha the world Always sides with evil. There’s noyhing in life for me and theres nothing to do. Dint really have much choice in the matter, being abused into suicide.

While i spend my days serounded by the corrupt, the criminal, the degenerates, the effeminate, the violent and the brains washed gay’s. God forbid if i rather not spend soemtime with members the opposite sex or the proactive masculine.

Now excuse i have to go get high for breakfast and waste the day. Its ok. Im used to it. 25 years and counting. And excuse me if i have flair ups soemtimes. Its alot of pressure. While i wait for yhe first aid training and possibly the organization of health and saftey. After all i may need to save your fucken lives one day. Yay!

A wise serpent without a dove isn’t very gentel now is it?

What?! Sorry i capuld hear you you spoke at the same time as the crows. All i heard was “Caw! Caw! Caw!” Oh, we’re going to be partnering up? Awh…… no. Considering you’re relying on a drug dealer to drive you home everyday. And thats the guy i get paired with. Well either that of the “dipshit” as everyone calls them. Talking about gays and dildos, and sagitarian rape court case and a pimp civic under various trafgic violations whom doesnt take working seriously? Uhm. The gay guy, the criminal, or the combination of the two? Uhm, well, i lose. While i get sexually harassed by a “22” year old whith a similar sounding name as the lygbbq organization that continued suggestion i was a cocksucker after i repeatedly asked her to stop. Durring 2022… ok. Sure why not. What door number is that. The exit door number 22? What is that the fireextinguisher convineently olaced next to the males washroom? Exinguisher number what? 22? What? My ninimum credit payment is what? 22? At the same time as they pulled this shit? Ok.

Am i supposed to learn somethign here? Or is my spyche getting drastically raped by evil? What card is number 22? Nothing by the tarot. Maybe the fool. Maybe the world card. Maybe that magically missing number 22. In the typewritter its thr star card. A naked woman pooring out the spirit. The bestowment of a hope to meet the dream. Passivity to the reception from the collective.

Im not allowed to have a life free from captivity and malicious influences. Why try? I literally don’t know anything else. They’r eproba ly just framing me up to spend the second half of my life in prison.

Om now the small buzz in bottoming and i think my coffe is wearing out. Think i beed to go take a nap.

If one used the wheel. Thinking astrologically. As the twelve seasons. Then thr minor arcana would all occupy a quarter season. The four A-1’s place in the center of the circle facing out. On yhe wheel. One is traveling up. While the current is pulling down faster then one can move. Is consistent the lunar/solar cross sections with that of a serpent. While one swims agaisnt the current, one will only slow the final destination. Until one circles around the circle to the last quarter of fears and dreads, now helplessly trying to swim away from it. Creating this complex based upon repression of lies and delusions as the explanation. To the coming fate. I hate astrology. A fear. And the will to not accept whats (not really) inevitable. Give in to the lie. For when one passes that descendant point the half way. One tries to swim for that balance. Towards the 6th card of the lovers. But, its a lost cause. While one is helplessly being pulled away from it.

… the right side of the circle is comprised of the wands to swords. The left side coins to cups. The angles are A’s and each zodiac house is assigned three cards. The semi-square angle holds a conflict card. The left side of the circle is the individual. Number one. He is surrounded by life affirming cards and accomplishments hard work and discipline. And the bounty of a happy home life is where it ends. One can rise to career or descend to the self and family. Resources ideals, dreams accomplished. On the right side of the chart is all the bad. A relationship to bs. Starts with a desire to leave home. See the world have fun with friends. And where one has to pay the penalty for being alive. It’s pretty depressing. As all things tarot. Which is here shown by the split natures of white and black both cancer and Capricorn share.

Maybe since there’s already an arian plan in opperation all future arians are forced down and oppressed from any divergence. Which isnt set and bound for them to attend. Mostly its just a trophy. Good’lad heres a loolly pop. There’s only death and sorrow if you go any further. Better save it for the militant going on and beyond the capricorn point. To death and war.

So when doing a reading with the minor. Its best to see where in the zodiac it is placed and see what planets are aspecting those degrees. The self then has an added layer of information that isnt neccesarly allocated to “fate”. One then takes the major arcana and plug in the proper card to the appropriete number based on cyclic repetition. Thats what a circle is. The only problem here is that circles are only found in nature in the form of pulses. A ripple in water. The ring of a tree. Its never singular. Beyond that of the sun and the moon. Or a bubble. Circles are never still. Always in motion. Growing outward until it fades. Relying on that drop in its center.

Now the minor arcana is paired to a planet and to a major arcana. Precision grows more clear. Complexity adds reaction. And the star card always fallows the threat, and violence. Which may lead into a world of metal illnesses. As the child tries to distract it’s attention into something else, for the violence goes counter to its well being. Creating a world of delusions and retractions from the world. Adopting a passivity to action. And further reception to something more pleasing. It being a dream. These conditioned dreams based from the collective reception of information, all gets poured into the same cup. There’s no segregation, no separation. One becomes what it is being fed. A desire to do good. And a motivation to be receptive. Like i said. Theres nothign to learn in life. There’s just punishment. Fromoutsode violebce while it being twisted as an echo to be villainized by. Where the origin of the destructive acts take a place of innocence. On and on. From time memorial. Do now the next moon card comes in and the one is screaming at the world. Causing a ruckus. Howling at the moon. To be futher punished by the “good”. Or to praying to god for salvation, or getting shitfaced drunk or using other intoxicants. Which are made abundant and always is easy reach. From time memorial. Cant even be int he seclusion of solitude. Without it. Sorry mom i’m smoking my brothers pot i found hidden behind my poster. In the same room im forces to share with him. Eith this dominant pluto opposition aspect. Fun fun. And well the world as shown me profusly that im just a bitch. Nothigs changed.

What i got an attitude problem needing correction?! No thats ok. Ill a nother beating after they just jumpednon my face. Ok. Sire why not.

Hey! Ho. Stop tellign at your daughter! Your other one detaching from reality right noe becaus eof it. No! I font want to sleep woth you. You have a boyfriend. Fuck off. Stop insisting.

God dames women stop being sexually suggestive! Im trying to socialize jesus! If i wanted to see you naked id just go watch some poor they’re way hotter than you. And if that was the case. I aint no single stand. Cant sleep eoth you even if i wanted to if i don’tt know what im dicking. Kind of hard to enjoy. Maybe the lesson here , Is that i should. Hey stranger. You got a pretty mouth. Wanna fuck? Why you making it sexual for. Now im turned off.

It’s fun to play with power words like this.

God

The son the father and the Holy Ghost.

Draw out the chariot! Move!

Careful what you eat.

-I expect there to be a top qualité Asian movie involving a dove and a dragon coming out. Hopefully it won’t be toO fif.

And thé on l’y appropriate letter to assign to infinity is temperance. Letter R. Not of it directly. But as the minusculed r. Becoming EFr. But this is a new area for me. So I don’ know. The minuscule R serves quite well as temperance’s white dove wings.

DEF as mother, son and father. As the 0-5 card speaks for itself. Def., equals absolute. A definite act. From nothign. O. If one extends on this the holy ghost as the emperors foundation is balances by the empresses dragon/devil card.

As E moves into F. F moves into the equalavent of a capitalized minuscule sembling letter r. Above and beyond that, one finds a straight line. Resembling the capital i as the sun and the minusculed L of the hermit. Or as the number 1 and another journey.

I cleaned her up, coloured her in and her prettier her’d up while, she did the laundry. 14-18

Though it becomes curious when one stops and writes. BRP and again it shows symbolism in motion.

- Doesn't this card just say R. The mirrored angle for the water is neat.

Chicken and the egg and all that. Temperance. On the study of letters.

#tarot #qwerty #tarotblr

[scentedchildnacho]

Uhm I don't appreciate being used for being a mercury in Scorpio......but after that severe of battery last night then sleep deprivation I can't reserve my emotions and told people how I felt.....I wasn't too bad to them and avoided swearing....I tried to just leave my body and not find life the better choice but it didn't work.....

The batterers were really infective and if in private screaming I was saying some possessed metallic voiced things but if around people fortunately

My comments remained therapeutic

I was like yea be around me privileged jogger and have nothing to do with me that's okay

I was like yea jogger get your vain narcissists leisure time in...be sure nobody sees you ever once be kind or do anything for anybody

Then this black chick tried to smile at me so I was like especially thanks to you for being the new face of state establishmentarianism yea get your cash and little rules yea thanks for just leaving me on the beach to get raped and killed yea black State yea creepy African

Yea unionism I don't think the union army was a state though The Islamic State wants you to kill of id law ignorance and extremely small thinking

Then some guy came out of a restaurant on the beach so I was like yea good job keep that bathroom locked up while using public resources for your clients yea cause extreme pain in urination yea cut off people's sensitivity to their lower extremities yea

Well that's how I feel....they only care about bad vag amputations so they don't have to be ass

I don't like clean or locked bathrooms the homosexual constant groups of guys sports is too threatening and I can't wait till they heroin and glutton them again and they sit around freely off cess pools

Then to people down at the water I was like yea.....thanks for not showing up till this morning thanks for turning yourselves into ultimate selfish narcissists and leaving me to die all night.....then finally showing up on your selfish rude disgusting irresponsible worthless workless time yea save yourself and leave me to die cause white crime to yourself yea

I am grateful I could have a psychiatrist obsessed with my behaviour but now there is lots of behaviour disgusting ness

They are all kind of nasty concrete asses......so now I don't have to be an obsession

I really really hate commute patterns in San Diego so if it couldn't stop wishing me just put down on vaccines and tranqs I really hope it all gets put down mostly

There so scary like riding their skateboards right at me it's relieving it finally breaks it's ass on the pavement for expecting my ass broke for it's job fees

William....I'm so scared of how German klan clean freak athlete of an area it is I don't care if they steal a black man to put his hyper active psychopaths down on their opiate

I would maybe help steal a negro if they could put the things down and force a low commute area

It's so terribly painful around the car freaks I have a psychopathy problem if their not yet called heroin freaks

Anyway that long haired blond guy at the library I found out is really on vain plan so he has femmes that have to hate themselves and keep him on smokes all the time...that's relieving he just came at me in the library to walk too near me so I like when his vain femmes Jack ass him around on second hand smoke

This I said to his femme thank you for just sitting there doing nothing and smoking in it's face

No I don't want a sedative those club me to death beaters on the beach would have kept hitting me if I didn't get up

Well I wouldn't take psych drugs and just go die so the Russian violence gets worse and worse and worse

I found out from my peak class that homeless people are a ward quantity so I do like own my disaggregate granular data like my weekly shower allowance etc

So I guess it's difficult to find a tower and pump out all my ground water if populations aren't forced in a vicinity and quickly extracted from

I have a micro amount poor Russians could live off so put in....tried to batter me with golf clubs to quickly extract

Muslim nations to Christians to force sharing instead of wealth it never cures disease

Well when you want to cure disease you can't tell people how long to wash their hands

And all the jerks that job to live better then the public they use refused to ever pump water continually through public pipes they want people to mostly use so it just looks like a reek bomb on an enemy

Muslims have weird scary stories and hallucinative beliefs and just sit there blocking people up and refusing to let people have enough in life to ever truly feel their heart start just fair Arizona and Pakistanis

If you won't pray enough you will be a tree

[abellinthecupboard]

America

America I've given you all and now I'm nothing. America two dollars and twentyseven cents January 　　　17, 1956. I can't stand my own mind. America when will we end the human war! Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb. I don't feel good don't bother me. I won't write my poem till I'm in my right mind. America when will you be angelic? When will you take off your clothes? When will you look at yourself through the grave? When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites? America why are your libraries full of tears? America when will you send your eggs to India? I'm sick of your insane demands. When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I 　　　need with my good looks? America after all it is you and I who are perfect not 　　　the next world. Your machinery is too much for me. You made me want to be a saint. There must be some other way to settle this argument. Burroughs is in Tangiers I don't think he'll come back 　　　it's sinister. Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical 　　　joke? I'm trying to come to the point. I refuse to give up my obsession. America stop pushing I know what I'm doing. America the plum blossoms are falling. I haven't read the newspapers for months, everyday 　　　somebody goes on trial for murder. America I feel sentimental about the Wobblies. America I used to be a communist when I was a kid 　　　I'm not sorry. I smoke marijuana every chance I get. I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses 　　　in the closet. When I go to Chinatown I get drunk and never get laid. My mind is made up there's going to be trouble. You should have seen me reading Marx. My psychoanalyst thinks I'm perfectly right. I won't say the Lord's Prayer. I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations. America I still haven't told you what you did to Uncle 　　　Max after he came over from Russia. I'm addressing you. Are you going to let your emotional life be run by 　　　Time Magazine? I'm obsessed with Time Magazine. I read it every week. Its cover stares at me every time I slink past the corner 　　　candystore. I read it in the basement of the Berkeley Public Library. It's always telling me about responsibility. Business- 　　　men are serious. Movie producers are serious. 　　　Everybody's serious but me. It occurs to me that I am America. I am talking to myself again. Asia is rising against me. I haven't got a chinaman's chance. I'd better consider my national resources. My national resources consist of two joints of 　　　marijuana millions of genitals an unpublishable 　　　private literature that goes 1400 miles an hour 　　　and twenty-five-thousand mental institutions. I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of 　　　underprivileged who live in my flowerpots 　　　under the light of five hundred suns. I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers 　　　is the next to go. My ambition is to be President despite the fact that 　　　I'm a Catholic. America how can I write a holy litany in your silly 　　　mood? I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as 　　　individual as his automobiles more so they're 　　　all different sexes. America I will sell you strophes $2500 apiece $500 　　　down on your old strophe America free Tom Mooney America save the Spanish Loyalists America Sacco & Vanzetti must not die America I am the Scottsboro boys. America when I was seven momma took me to Com- 　　　munist Cell meetings they sold us garbanzos a 　　　handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the 　　　speeches were free everybody was angelic and 　　　sentimental about the workers it was all so sin- 　　　cere you have no idea what a good thing the 　　　party was in 1835 Scott Nearing was a grand 　　　old man a real mensch Mother Bloor made me 　　　cry I once saw Israel Amter plain. Everybody 　　　must have been a spy. America you don't really want to go to war. America it's them bad Russians. Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen. 　　　And them Russians. The Russia wants to eat us alive. The Russia's power 　　　mad. She wants to take our cars from out our 　　　garages. Her wants to grab Chicago. her needs a Red Readers' 　　　Digest. Her wants our auto plants in Siberia. 　　　Him big bureaucracy running our fillingsta- 　　　tions. That no good. Ugh. Him make Indians learn read. 　　　Him need big black niggers. Hah. Her make us 　　　all work sixteen hours a day. help. America this is quite serious. America this is the impression I get from lookin in 　　　the television set. America is this correct? I'd better get right down to the job. It's true I don't want to join the Army or turn lathes 　　　in precision parts factories, I'm nearsighted and 　　　psychopathic anyway. America I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

— Allen Ginsberg, Howl and Other Poems (1956)

#America #Allen Ginsberg #tw chinaman #tw n word #Howl and Other Poems #poetry #poet #poem

[manwalksintobar]

America // Allen Ginsberg

America I’ve given you all and now I’m nothing. America two dollars and twentyseven cents January 17, 1956.   I can’t stand my own mind. America when will we end the human war? Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb. I don’t feel good don’t bother me. I won’t write my poem till I’m in my right mind. America when will you be angelic? When will you take off your clothes? When will you look at yourself through the grave? When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites? America why are your libraries full of tears? America when will you send your eggs to India? I’m sick of your insane demands. When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks? America after all it is you and I who are perfect not the next world.   Your machinery is too much for me. You made me want to be a saint. There must be some other way to settle this argument.   Burroughs is in Tangiers I don’t think he’ll come back it’s sinister.   Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke?   I’m trying to come to the point. I refuse to give up my obsession. America stop pushing I know what I’m doing. America the plum blossoms are falling. I haven’t read the newspapers for months, everyday somebody goes on trial for murder. America I feel sentimental about the Wobblies. America I used to be a communist when I was a kid I’m not sorry.   I smoke marijuana every chance I get. I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses in the closet.   When I go to Chinatown I get drunk and never get laid.   My mind is made up there’s going to be trouble. You should have seen me reading Marx. My psychoanalyst thinks I’m perfectly right. I won’t say the Lord’s Prayer. I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations. America I still haven’t told you what you did to Uncle Max after he came over from Russia. I’m addressing you. Are you going to let your emotional life be run by Time Magazine?   I’m obsessed by Time Magazine. I read it every week. Its cover stares at me every time I slink past the corner candystore.   I read it in the basement of the Berkeley Public Library. It’s always telling me about responsibility. Businessmen are serious. Movie producers are serious. Everybody’s serious but me.   It occurs to me that I am America. I am talking to myself again. Asia is rising against me. I haven’t got a chinaman’s chance. I’d better consider my national resources. My national resources consist of two joints of marijuana millions of genitals an unpublishable private literature that jetplanes 1400 miles an hour and twentyfive-thousand mental institutions. I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of underprivileged who live in my flowerpots under the light of five hundred suns. I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers is the next to go. My ambition is to be President despite the fact that I’m a Catholic. America how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood? I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as individual as his automobiles more so they’re all different sexes. America I will sell you strophes $2500 apiece $500 down on your old strophe America free Tom Mooney America save the Spanish Loyalists America Sacco & Vanzetti must not die America I am the Scottsboro boys. America when I was seven momma took me to Communist Cell meetings they sold us garbanzos a handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the speeches were free everybody was angelic and sentimental about the workers it was all so sincere you have no idea what a good thing the party was in 1835 Scott Nearing was a grand old man a real mensch Mother Bloor the Silk-strikers’ Ewig-Weibliche made me cry I once saw the Yiddish orator Israel Amter plain. Everybody must have been a spy. America you don’t really want to go to war. America its them bad Russians. Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen. And them Russians.   The Russia wants to eat us alive. The Russia’s power mad. She wants to take our cars from out our garages. Her wants to grab Chicago. Her needs a Red Reader’s Digest. Her wants our auto plants in Siberia. Him big bureaucracy running our fillingstations. That no good. Ugh. Him make Indians learn read. Him need big black niggers. Hah. Her make us all work sixteen hours a day. Help.   America this is quite serious. America this is the impression I get from looking in the television set.   America is this correct? I’d better get right down to the job. It’s true I don’t want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts factories, I’m nearsighted and psychopathic anyway. America I’m putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

  Berkeley, January 17, 1956

#poetry #Allen Ginsberg #America #beat poetry #the Berkeley Public Library #queer poetry

[tatyana-dreaming]

Hello! I think like I've never asked you, but what are your favorite operas and opera composers in general? I know you like Eugene Onegin (and Le Nozze 🤔?), which is understandable, but what about other stuff please tell me. You can even list your top 20 (or 30, or 50?) that'd be cool 😎

who, ME??? *blushes * (especially because I know you study music) well, if yOU think it would be cool I will indeed list an opera top 20! but keep in mind I have only been into opera for a year and I usually like to obsess over one opera at a time, thus I make very slow process in discovering new favorites (which I also love to do!)

Honestly it is incredibly difficult to “rank” but I will do my best. The first 10 are operas I actually listen to regularly, and am well on the way to knowing by heart (like Onegin my beloved <3) (YES I LIKE VERDI is it clear? I won’t apologize) and 10-20 are operas I have only seen/heard once but either love the story or the music or both.

1. you guessed it: Tchaikovsky: Eugene Onegin (my beloved)

2. predictable as always! Mozart: Le Nozze di Figaro (aber erlich höre ich lieber Die Hochzeit des Figaros – pls don’t hate :D damit kann ich mein Deutsch verbessern!!)

3. Verdi: Un Ballo in Maschera

4. Verdi: Il Trovatore

5. Puccini: Tosca (thanks to @notyouraveragejulie for ehmm... strongly suggesting this one, after I was yelling about how "I'm just not a Puccini person!!")

6. Offenbach: Les contes d’Hoffman (@monotonous-minutia :'D thank you for bringing this into my life, I'm not sure I would have appreicated it the same way without you) (although how can anyone resist the music???)

7. Massenet: Werther (mainly the Sad Arias, oh wait that's most of them)

8. Verdi: La Traviata

9. Verdi: Rigoletto

10. Bizet: Carmen

11. Tchaikovsky: Pikovaya Dama

12. Gounod: Faust

13. Donizetti: Lucia di Lammermoor

14. Rossini: Le comte Ory

15. Bellini: Norma

16. Rossini: Il Barbiere di Siviglia

17. Handel: Agrippina

18. Borodin: Prince Igor (the music is gorgeous, though I haven’t quite come to terms with the story. Then again when HAVEN’t I said that about an opera) (*flashbacks to Il Trovatore*)

19. Massenet: Cendrillon

20. Puccini: La Fanciulla del West

Some people may freak out that Don Carlo and La Bohème are not featured (yeah, I just haven’t clicked with them musically yet, but I am planning on re-visting them). Also I do very much love other Donizetti and Mozart operas, but I’m just not as familiar with them/have only seen them once (okay, I'll admit I have put Così on while I do work many a time).

Top on my list to watch next are Thaïs, Roméo et Juliette, and L’Étoile, the latter on the recommendation of @monotonous-minutia and @notyouraveragejulie… oh and definitely Don Carlos hehe @revedebeatrice. I also need to finish Idomeneo and finally get to Roberto Devereux! I’d also definitely like to see some operas by women and POC :) which reminds me I never got around to my Women’s Opera History Month assignment :( (yet!)

And I always take recommendations!!!!

Thank you so much for the ask, it made my day! (p.s. I ADORE YOUR NEW ICON <3)

#i may or may not have spent a whole hour on this : 'D i got really into it #wow you'd think I'd be WAY more familiar with French opera than I already am #and my German opera exposure? virtually nonexistent #too bad I am too obsessed with Russian right now #asks

[natty-taffy]

left, right. left, right. steady. - [natasha x stark!daughter]

series masterlist | part one | part two | part three | part four | bonus

TW: talking lightly about nat severing her nerve

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

“Wanna play two truths and a lie?” You ask her once you make sure she’s comfortable on the couch, hoping to distract her attention from the pain caused by bandaging her foot.

Natasha tries to dodge your attempts to fuss over her before swatting your hands and answering your question “You’ve never met an agent before, have you?”

You chuckle, fighting the urge to flick her in the head- stubborn woman “What sold me out?”

“Your absolute lack of limits” She says and you start to laugh when realize her lack of glint on her eyes. Her gaze was stern again.

The words can’t leave your mouth as much as you try to spit them out- did you step too far?

“Oh- we could- be quiet and watch TV, then?” you try not to be fazed by her behavior, avoiding to look at her- a very hard task for you, who is obsessed with her in general- in something in between embarrassment and gloom. But you do manage amend a quiet “I’m sorry"

Her hands call up to you- they don’t touch your skin, they don't mean to, but they hover in front of your face, much like a feather, and carry your eyes back to hers again.

She’s wearing a loopsided smirk, her eyes are kind.

“I was messing with you, идиот” Her eyes sparkle up again, and a grin appears “You’re not the only one with a sense of humor, you know?”

You can feel your heart going back to its normal rates- that is , before realizing she’s given you a nickname, a russian nickname.

She did call you an idiot, but at this point you're not going to care- she could call you a loaf of bread and you'd accept without thinking twice.

“I- well you can’t” You find yourself childishly saying with crossed arms “You have the advantage of looking intimidating while doing it”

“That’s too bad” she counterpoints with a smirk and, not missing a beat, follows up “My favorite type of ice cream is pistachio, I have a sister and I have a cat”

You stare blankly at her, waiting for her to elaborate- God, this woman is absolutely out of it.

Hot.

“The game you wanted to play” She answers, when you project no reaction, as if it was plain obvious.

“You’ve never met any normal person before, have you?” You echo her question back.

She arches her eyebrow, dancing with her tongue around her upper lip “Touché”

God.

“I think- um- that the lie is about your sister” You speak without thinking, so you can focus in something else that’s not her mouth, or her tongue, or her French accent, or- “because you look old enough to like pistachio and lesbian enough for a cat”

You explain, now focusing, instead, on the fact that you just pointed out she looks like a lesbian, because, apparently, you just can't catch a break.

Before you start to overthink about it for one more millisecond, she smiles- a front-teeth-and-all kind of smile “Well, I refuse to partake in stereotypes” Natasha answers vaguely “Also, my lifestyle can’t allow me a cat”.

Wait.

Your tongue really does the job of holding your squeal back- you owe her one- Natasha hasn’t only not corrected you, but she quite reassured you that yes, she is, in fact, a lesbian.

Natasha Romanoff is a lesbian. And you just happen to fit the criteria.

“Your turn” she presses, a little eagerly- you wonder if you have made her uncomfortable.

So you nod, trying to think of a way of letting her know that you, too, like girls “I have five different types of soda on my fridge, I don’t own any matching pair of socks and my girlfriend’s name is Chloe”

She doesn’t express anything out of the ordinary and you try not to visibly deflate “The soda one” she says after pondering “I think you might have six”

“Who do you think I am? Willy Wonka?” You feign outrage "I draw the line at five flavors per time"

“What’s her name, then?” Natasha asks, before clearing her throat to clarify “Your girlfriend”

It’s your turn to arch an eyebrow at her “She doesn’t exist, that's the lie”

If the way her eyes shine is of any insinuation, you’re following the right path- to where you don’t actually know, given how inconsistent Natasha turns out to be, but you just happen to have this feeling flourishing on your stomach.

“Okay then” She muses, pretending to think hardly “My favorite TV show is Toddlers and Tiaras, I’m not naturally a redhead and I have pierced nipples”

“Jesus” you let out without realizing it.

You need to take an extra gulp of air to help your brain to go back to its functions, since your thoughts have started to lag. You wonder if you could pass out because of something like that- “Are- can- um, is this a trick question?”

And, because she is that shitty, Natasha just hums “Wouldn’t you like to find out?”

The right path indeed.

“You're no fun, you've lost your turn” You decide to take a shot, not daring, in hell, to waste this opportunity “You’re bluffing, my favorite color is blue and you want to kiss me”

If Natasha could ever be impressed by someone, you imagine this is what she’d look like; there’s a satisfied smirk laying on her mouth and mischief swimming in her eyes- you’ve cornered the Black Widow.

In a game. By following exactly the path that she chose.

But, regardless, you did.

Yeah.

Because whichever option she chooses as the truth will give you the answer to at least one question you really don’t have the balls to ask her. But you just have to know;

So she does pick one, hiding behind a cheeky smile and silky voice “Blue is nobody’s favorite color”

Which makes the first and last one the truths.

Which makes you sure, now, that you can, truly, pass out for something like this- because there is no way your breath is supposed to feel like that, and your-

“I won, can I get my prize now?” She eyes you from behind her eyelashes, almost melting with every blink- there’s warmth, uncertainty, and something so sheer that you have no doubt whatsoever that it’s boiling, dripping lust.

Because only she could mix such emotions together and still look terrifyingly gorgeous.

You’re not sure of what the prize is, nor how she won a two truths and a lie game, but all you can do is nod and inch your face closer to hers, hoping to be right.

Then her lips brush against yours.

And you suddenly understand exactly why the Bible says that the heaven on earth is made of milk and honey- because when her plum lips melt against yours that’s all you can and wish to taste for as long as you can comprehend what it is to feel.

You dare to touch her peach-soft jaw, bringing her just a little closer to your running heart- the shaky intake Natasha lets out almost made you crumble at her knees, more than you already were and-

“Romanoff, get off my daughter"

#natasha x reader #natasha x stark!reader #stark!daughter #stark!reader #slow burn #fluff #nattytaffyarchive #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fluff #black widow movie #nomad natasha romanov

[k-s-morgan]

Hi! My Internet gradually stops working well, but I’m still fine and my family is still safe. As always, I can’t tell you all how much I appreciate all the kinds words, messages, financial and emotional support you’ve given me. The fact that the world has so many wonderful and compassionate people is one of my comfort thoughts at a time like this, where there is so much grief and fear wherever you go.

I’m once again at the stage where I feel rather optimistic. I don’t think this war will last long. Both Ukrainian and Russian news (and I’m sure plenty of  foreign news) are distorting the truth in completely opposite ways, to the point where it’s difficult to say which of them is closer to being objective, but facts remain facts, and they help make some conclusions. I’m hopeful that my home will remain a safe harbor for me and my family. It’s possible that Russian troops might use one of the roads nearby to make their way into the city, but even that is far enough, and they won’t be interested in this location much, there is really nothing of importance here.

Many of the shops nearby are working, and with the help of those who contributed to my Patreon, my Mom and I keep buying more food, water, meds, and pet food. Today we volunteered to look after a pet shop - the owner has fled and told shop assistants to leave all the animals to die. Since the assistants want to leave Kiev, too, they tried to find someone who could come inside and feed the pets daily. We live close by, so we said we can do it. 

I’ve started writing short semi-fictional stories that play well into my mood. Maybe I’ll make it into a book at some point. I miss my fandoms and my fics, and I hope I’ll be able to get back to them very soon. It’s just so difficult to enjoy something when fear and worry became a constant part of my life. On good days like this one, I manage to distract myself for some time, but even that doesn’t last long, and before I know it, I’m back to reading the news, trying to separate lies from truths. 

Answering questions from some asks: I’m a born Ukrainian, but Russian is my first language, just like it is for the majority of our population (if you count Crimea). So I tend to spell “Kiev” like this instead of using the Ukrainian version of “Kyiv.” Leaving without any of my family members and all of my pets is not something I can consider right now. I love them so much, they are my world. I’m not sure I can envision life without them. We all have a very close, maybe even obsessive relationship with each other, and the idea of separation is a nightmare. Also, like I mentioned before, there are many risks involved with the trip itself. 

That said, if things get really, really bad here, I might take this risk. For now, staying seems safer and better than escaping, but it might change. I still can’t imagine leaving my loved ones, but if it comes to surviving or staying with them... maybe I’ll choose the former. I don’t know yet, I can’t bear thinking about it. 

I want to stay as optimistic as I am today. Also, sorry for not replying to asks individually: I want to keep records of my own posts for later, and this format is more convenient for me. I also don’t want to clutter people’s dashboards with posts that I never thought I would be making on this site. 

Thank you again, each of you. Here are two selfies I took with one of my cats and one of my pigeons today. I’m praying that we all stay safe tonight and tomorrow.

#personal #ukraine #kiev