#to everyone that's talked to me over DMs/discord this past week i love you so much and i'm sorry for being such a mess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nojey · 3 years

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reminiscing (fans 2)

dreamwastaken x streamer!reader

genre: angst pronouns: they / them word count: 2.1k warning(s): failed relationship, cursing

fans (part 1)

synopsis: after taking 6 months off from social media, you finally explain to your fans why you took so long and why you needed it.

go live. *click*

you watched as your chat strolled in and viewer count go up. your computer screen illuminating your face in the dark room as your webcam caught the nervous look. you were shaking your leg up and down, a habit you caught whenever you tried to calm yourself down.

“hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last stream, huh?” you dryly chuckled. “it’s been about.. 6 months since i last streamed and at this point i think i’ve taken enough time to correctly word how i’m going to tell everyone why i decided to take a break from streaming.” you said looking down at the ground and fiddling with your fingers.

“uh, donation notifications will be off for this stream and chat will be on emotes only because i really just want to focus on getting this out. but if you plan on donating, thank you so much, really, it means the world to me.” you said finally looking at your webcam and smiling a bit. you read a chat and answer, “yes, i’m doing okay. i just have a big announcement i want to say after i tell you guys why i took a break.”

you took a deep breath in and started. “ over a year ago, almost 2, i met this guy through a friend and we started talking. it was very little at the beginning but as little as it was, his texts always made me smile.” you scratched the back of your neck. “and as time went on, we started talking more and more and he just became part of my daily routine. when i woke up i’d see a good morning text from him, we’d spend most of our day being on the phone with each other, i was even on facetime with him most of my streams but i had an airpod under my headset so you couldn’t really see it, i almost always fell asleep on facetime with him. i really fell for this guy.” you fondly smiled, looking at your desk, where your phone used to be propped up and you would see clays face just looking at you.

“then we started streaming together. ‘omg he’s a streamer too’ yeah, and a lot of you probably know who i’m talking about at this point but i still won’t disclose who it is. i uh, got a lot of messages from you guys telling me that i looked super happy that stream and i was. i was always happy when i talked to him. but along with those messages i also got a lot of hate, telling me to stay away from him. it didn’t really bother me because i always get hate when i stream with my guy friends; i was used to it.” you said, taking a sip from your water then wiping the side of your eye as it teared up.

“and today... i’ll be going on the dream smp! with the man himself, dream. dream, say hi now.” you introduced, you waited a few seconds but was only met with silence. you grabbed your phone and sent him a voice message, “clay! you’re on deafen! introduce yourself!” you screamed into your phone. dream then took himself off deafen and said. “hi (y/s/n)’s chat! i’m dream, i’ll be showing (y/n) around the smp today and we’re gonna get started on their house.” you smiled fondly when you heard him speak. “yeah! what dream said!”

so you both logged into the dream smp, said hi to sapnap, and dream gave you a tour. you then started building your house in a forest, quite far from everyone else, “i don’t want anyone bothering you or ruining your house when you’re not on.” he explained. you told dream you wanted to build a cottage so if anyone does end up stumbling upon it, it looks welcoming to them. so dream started building your house for you even though you insisted you do it together. “dream! let me help, this is supposed to be my house.” you dragged. “well we can both decorate inside and make it our house.” you started blushing. “i guess..” you mumbled. you then started adventuring out to look for flowers and some things to decorate the house with.

you started placing flowers down into flower pots when you noticed something. “dream there’s only one bedroom.” you mentioned. he slowly turned around to look at you and quickly turned back and placed two beds next to each other. “this is our room, dumbass.”

later that night you checked your twitter dms and saw many people telling you to stop talking to dream and that you weren’t good enough to even know him. you sighed and powered down your phone.

“i think a few weeks after that he asked me if i could fly out to him and we’d meet in person. i was so excited i immediately started packing and i met him. it was amazing! i got to meet the guy i’ve been in love with for the past few months. i think it may have been a year already. but yeah, i finally got to meet him and being in his arms was the best feeling in the world, i felt so safe being with him.”

“it was the day after that, when he asked me on a date and i, of course, said yes. like who would say no to the person they fell in love with... so we went on a date and at the end of it we were just sitting on top of the hood of the car, eating dinner, watching the sunset and talking about a future we wanted together. and it may seem like we were moving fast but i knew 7 months into talking to him that he felt the same way about me. no matter if either of us disclosed it. i could tell and i knew he knew the same about me. then i went home and everything was perfect, i wasn’t his girlfriend yet though because we wanted to wait a bit.”

“that’s when everything went downhill, i think” you looked up to try to stop the tears from going down your face, but they fell anyways so you just let it be.

“we started streaming more and more and i started getting more hate than i usually got, this time getting death threats, people threatening to leak my address if i didn’t stop being friends with him. it was crazy but i was willing to endure it all for him. who cares what people on the internet are going to say to me? i really didn’t because i was happy enough with him that, that happiness overcame whatever type of hate i was getting.” tears kept falling from your eyes but you didn’t bother to wipe it, knowing it would just keep happening.

“dude you’re so annoying! you definitely cheated!” you screamed as you died. through your headset you could hear clay wheezing. “there was no way i was cheating!” he said through his laughs. “ask my chat, they saw the whole thing.” you breathed out, not wanting to believe him till a dono was sent to you, “yeah, (y/n) you just suck at this game,” you gasped, your jaw hanging then you started pouting. it was clipped and one of your viewers sent it to dream. he suddenly started laughing harder and you asked him why he was laughing, with a pout still on your face. “even your chat knows i didn’t cheat!” you started laughing too, till you read a message in the chat saying, “ew, their laugh is ugly. i don’t know why dream likes them.” you stopped laughing but kept a fake smile on your face.

“then he called me and he told me that he didn’t think we should be dating anymore, or even be friends. and i think it was because he saw the hate i was getting and he didn’t like that. he told me a different reason as to why he didn’t think we should date anymore but i didn’t believe it, but i let him go. because i was not going to force him to be with me if he really did mean it. “ you said, sniffling after so you didn’t sound too congested as you spoke.

after you hung up, you curled into a ball and cried. you cried, and cried, and cried. the feeling in your chest hurting more than you could ever imagine. you just lost the guy you wanted to marry, the guy you had spent over a year going to because of your problems, the guys you saw having kids with, the guy that made everything worth it. he was the only person on your mind as the pain in your chest grew. you tweeted and powered your phone off straight after. you didn’t want anyone messaging you asking what was wrong, knowing your friends they would do that.

“so the reason i took a break from streaming was because of that. because i resented the people that sent me hate so much i couldn’t bring myself to stream. i didn’t resent them because they sent me hate. i resent them because the hate they sent me caused the guy i really wanted to be with to make me believe he didn’t love me like i love him.” now, you were sobbing, letting your cry’s out because you had been holding them in for too long.

it had been a few months and you were on snapchat, seeing that you had a memory a year ago today, you checked it. “i think i literally met my soulmate.” with a picture of you and clay in a discord call. your breath got caught in your throat and your breathing became labored. your eyes started stinging as the tears started falling. it’s happening again, all the pain from the day you stopped talking to him came back and once again, you were crying into your hands and you couldn’t stop.

“i had always known that becoming a streamer i would get hate, but i never thought that i would get enough hate to prevent a relationship i really wanted to work. now all i do is reminisce of a guy i wish could be mine”

“streaming has brought me so many opportunities and i am so grateful for everything you guys have done for me, and for me to be able to do something i love and make money from it is insane to me. you guys have given me everything i ever wanted in life up until that point and i am so grateful and appreciative of that. you guys gave me friendships that i will never lose and never forget. so many of you have told me that i’ve saved you and changed your lives but trust me when i say you guys have saved me and changed my life too. i hope i repaid you back by making you smile, being your comfort streamer, and being a support system for each of you. but i think this is my end of the road. i fucking love streaming, i love you guys. but every time i click that “go live” button or even try to, all i think about is him and that’s too painful for me right now. maybe in the future i’ll find my way back here but i can’t promise that.”

“thank you guys, so, so, so, so, much for every single opportunity given to me, for everything. i love you all. my dms are still open. and this was (y/s/n), signing off for possibly the last time. goodbye everyone.”

end stream. *click*

a tear rolling down his face and falling onto his keyboard as he watched you finally say goodbye to your stream. it all just felt like you were saying your last goodbye to him again.

for the last 6 months all clay could do was think about you and how he wished he just messaged you and told you he was sorry and didn’t mean what he said. that he misses you and he would quit streaming if that meant he could be with you. that all he wanted was to feel you in his arms again and just live out the future you two planned together.

but if you just said goodbye to your chat for your last stream because you couldn’t stand the thought of him whenever you tried to stream. how could you ever forgive him?

the thought of never speaking to you hit him once more and again, he cried, sobbed, screamed, threw things, and even then, he knew.. you would never be coming back to him, with every fiber in his being, wishing you would.

—————

taglist: @loxbbg @bozowrites @noahsfag @sparklykeylime @bi-narystars @axths @cheybaee @letsloveimagines @meatte @julesamen21 @classyunknownlover @bad268 @strawbrinkofdeath

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lilshotgun · 3 years

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So here's why i've been inactive for the past couple months on tumblr:

As many of you know, I've been a fairly avid content creator for the warrior nun fandom creating a ton of content for free. I joined a Warrior Nun discord server named Future Warrior Nuns (which is a ridiculous name considering in the show Ava says there will be no more warrior nuns but that's besides the point) and the treatment I received there was amazing. At the beginning. I spoke up about racism and injustices within the community because you cannot escape it anywhere unfortunately and I believed I'd found a community that would protect me and be there for me if i was ever faced with racism or hate.

For clarity, anyone in blue is a moderator. As you go on to read this their usernames and profile images might change so I’ll clarify who is who. I’ll only be using the names I’ve been presented with and only the ones that are most relevant to the situation.

Fiesta (white American cis woman) aka Doesn't Kelly, Witch Rhyme

Taz (white Australian cis woman)

Milan (a very sheltered American transmasculine poc whos uncomfortable talking about racism because they've never had to deal with it) aka Who The Fuck Is Kelly

Rory (white Australian cis woman) aka Stronger Kelly

But after a while, things slowly started to change. It was subtle and if you hadn't been there from the beginning, you wouldn't have noticed. It started with the moderators spending less time in the server because they had made many of their own servers and spent far more time over there. Which is understandable when you’re a group of friends that all have a common purpose. But the lack of leadership was palpable. I had to sometimes direct fellow server members to proper channels or do a few other things that were supposed to be things that the moderators were supposed to take care of and their lack of care for the server was becoming more relevant. If you were in their little group of friends or kissed their ass then they wouldn't target you unnecessarily.

Exactly three weeks later, (and only one week after my birthday in which everyone was super sweet and nice to me) the love and friendship they claimed to have for me vanished completely. For context, people in positions of power, especially in a server, should be people you can come to if you ever have an issue with anything or anyone. They should also be people that can come to terms with admitting their behavior was incorrect when being told so. So here is what happened:

I have always been open about being a transmasculine person of color on all my platforms, and if you know me on any platform you know that. The behavior shown here between me and the moderators was absolutely appalling to me. They pushed my voice aside and only acknowledged Narcissa, a cis white woman, who was agreeing and saying the same things i had because i had asked her in private to help me out because i felt it was unfair that two server moderators were coming at me so aggressively.

As you can see from the screenshots, they claimed that I attacked Fiesta when i was simply pointing out that her behavior was hypocritical and unfair especially because she is in a position of power and that's something people of power should be aware of.

I was the only one brave enough to say what everyone was thinking. And that's something I have always taken pride in. Speaking up for others when they are too scared to do so themselves. And that was shown through multiple people coming into my dms to tell me they either felt the same way I did or they felt the way I was treated in the conversation above was unfair. This next screenshot is from a private message from a former manager.

Narcissa (white cis woman) received a few apologies from the server managers privately, yet my dms stayed vacant. At this point, they made a “public apology” towards everyone in the server which I forgot to screenshot, and not a single server manager reached out to me in private. But they did share these in the server for everyone to see:

They then opened an anonymous feedback form for us to share if we had any issues privately, which of course, I did, and so I filled it out saying “wheres my fucking apology ~king” so they would know exactly who the response was coming from. I was angry and hurt that they treated me the way they did. I regretted wording it like that almost instantly after sending it. But the deed was done and it was unchangeable. And not too long after, this was posted publicly in the server feedback channel so that everyone in the server could see:

Whether I shared that it was from me or not, she violated the server moderators unanimous statement saying that everything posted in the feedback form would stay anonymous and made my response public using the excuse that me sharing my name made it okay for her to show it to everyone. I was also being informed by other people I’m friends with that the forms that were being submitted were not staying anonymous and that they were being shared from other moderators privately in other peoples' dms.

I stuck around in the server because the people that I had formed friendships with were there and they were special to me and I wanted to be able to talk to them still in spite of everything that had happened to me up until this point. I was much more subdued at this point, I was posting less art and as you noticed I practically disappeared from twitter as well.

My love for Warrior Nun was decreasing rapidly because the environment had become so toxic and unwelcoming that I felt scared to say much in the server in fear of being banned after seeing one of my trans poc friends banned for saying hi to another member. They had been looking for a reason to ban him for being on my side instead of theirs and apparently found the “perfect” excuse. They deleted his messages and claimed in their private admin channel that he had harassed someone in the server without screenshotting the false evidence first. How do I know this? Because I had a person on the team that valued me as a person instead of as a content creator and what I could give to the server.

I proceeded to curate the server for what fit me best, considering the ridiculous number of channels they created that had nothing to do with the show at this point. And there was an option for members to do that so I used the tools they had provided with and opted out of channels I no longer wanted to see. I consolidated it down to 35 out of 66 channels because some of them had no opt out option. And still, it was way more channels than I'd prefer to be in. I narrowed it down to only ships I actually cared about instead of having a bunch of channels I was never gonna read or say things in. And that's when the manager that cared about us provided me with these telling screenshots.

Why put me in “jail” over removing some roles? It may not have been explicit, but the internalized racism of putting a person of color in “jail” for curating what they wanted from a server is frankly off putting to say the least. "Implicit racism includes unconscious biases, expectations, or tendencies that exist within an individual, regardless of ill-will or any self-aware prejudices."

And what does carl bot do exactly? It logs EVERYTHING. But only if that feature is enabled. And clearly, in Future Warrior Nuns, it is.

They didn’t care about me and didn’t care that I was a consistent content creator. For lack of better words, I was one of the biggest reasons the actual part of the server that was dedicated to the show was constantly active and once I became quiet, along with a few other content creators I talked with, the activity decreased immensely. I said things here and there but that was about it. Until I was looking through their emotes. I noticed that they had trans, gay, demi, bi, aro, and ace heart emotes but the lesbian one wasnt there. Which was honestly surprising considering how much of the fandom identifies as lesbian. So I asked for it to be added and after it was, so many people were super happy because of it.

One day later i asked for more Mary emotes because they hadn’t completely brushed me off after requesting for the lesbian pride one. I noticed that Ava, the white character, had 72 animated and still emotes at the time while Mary, the black character, only had 18. And only 4 out of those were positive emotes. Here's that conversation:

I offered up my services to create Mary emotes for them considering I was an artist and content creator and it would be no issue for me at all to contribute but they declined, saying they were working on some themselves and that they would eventually add them to the server. The ones that they had created all looked terrible. They didn't know how to color correct her skin so that it wouldn't look ashy because of the filters used in the show and instead of asking for help from me, an artist of color, they simply did their own thing. And from 18 emotes, it went up to a dazzling 24.

Needless to say, the racism they claimed not to have was pretty evident at this point. It was shockingly clear that they didn’t care as much about the characters of color than they did for the white and white passing ones. After this entire debacle I didn't even bother trying to ask for more emotes for Lilith considering how warmly I was welcomed with asking for more Mary emotes.

A little less than two months after the initial incident, I still hadn’t been contacted by anyone on the admin team about absolutely anything in private. It wasn’t until people asked Fiesta if she had reached out to me or even bothered with an apology before she sent me this:

The “apology” was worthless. Too much time had passed since I was publicly humiliated and portrayed as the evil transmasculine person of color to them, and only a select few people interacted with me. I felt completely shut out because of how the admin team handled a difference of opinion. Instead of correcting themselves and admitting they were wrong, they doubled down on the intimidation and bullying by changing their rules so that they could find excuses to ban or punish anyone they felt was not on their side.

At this point, my grades were heavily declining. I was already struggling with keeping up with everything on my own due to covid and my mental disabilities. Being a victim of this racist behavior made everything worse. I couldn’t get out of bed, I was barely eating a meal a day because I had no motivation to work so I had little to no money to buy myself food. I was starving most days. And I didn’t ask my mom for help because I felt everything was my fault and that I really was in the wrong and shouldn't have said anything even though looking back at it I wasn't wrong for what I said. I had also been informed that my dad died because of covid and because of all of this stress and depression I had officially failed my classes.

This is really difficult for me to say because I’m a very private person and I hate asking for help or sharing anything about my private life, but for you to understand everything that was happening to me at the time, this is stuff you unfortunately need to know.

There’s many more things that I could say about this server but this thread is already long enough as it is and it was hard enough to write this all down. But behind closed doors, the admin team had some of the nastiest attitudes and behaviors you could’ve seen. Had they realized we had someone on their team that actually valued us and others as people, they probably would have kept their blatant ignorance and dislike towards server members hidden better. But white people like oppressing others when they know they can get away with it and this is just another sad unfortunate example that cost me and my fellow friends of color some heavy emotional and psychological damage. They did wrong and refused to acknowledge it and instead tried to find a way to ban us for not having the hivemind that they so desperately want to control everyone with. If you want to see for yourself, feel free to find a link to a discord server named Future Warrior Nuns. If you look back through their channels, you’ll find most of these conversations either gone or have many messages missing. I hope my story will help understand why I’ve been gone from tumblr for so long and i hope something like this never happens to you.

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hopelessly-me · 3 years

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This fic is for Nox who sent me a DM on discord and said she wants more witchy Clint. And since @noxnthea deserves all the good things in life- I had to write her some witchy Clint with a dash of future winterhawk.

I hope you enjoy it! (1765 words.)

Clint sat perched on a barstool, leaning over the desk and reading from his book. One elbow was propped up on the desk, his head on his hand as he read the lines. His other hand was near his mug of tea, the spoon spinning automatically for him, a thin purple line running from his finger to the mug. It was a quiet afternoon so far, and Clint really hoped it stayed that way.

The front door opened and he could tell from the giggle that his day just got a little less fun. Clint marked the page he was one and closed his book before he sat up straight. “Welcome to Herbs and Roses. If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thanks!” a girl called out cheerfully. “Com’on Buck,” she said, pulling at the hand of a man following behind her. He looked around the store a bit suspiciously, hesitant before he followed through.

Clint smiled and shook his head before he got up and made himself a mug of fresh tea. What he really wanted was coffee from across the street- the cutie behind the bar was always so nice, and it helped they knew his exact order so even in his sleepy states he could get his caffeine fix. But tonight he was supposed to work on some spell work, maybe even some shadow work, and coffee somehow made that worse. His friends had warned him that sometimes you needed to be off certain things when practicing spells you didn’t know because it could exaggerate the process. Apparently that was coffee for Clint, which was a damn shame.

“Hi.”

Clint nearly startled and looked at the girl that was standing much too close. She was a sweet little thing, big blue eyes and dark, curly hair. She gave off that energy of kindness, with a bit of spunk and a whole lot of fun- she was definitely someone Clint should hang out with after he took on too much negative energy from others. Being an empath was the worst.

“Hey. Something I can help you find?” he asked.

“I’m looking for a love potion,” she said, following Clint as he walked back to his spot behind the counter.

“A love potion? You?” Clint asked, setting his mug down and leaning in. “Seems unlikely. Who doesn’t fall for your charm?” he asked. Maybe a little flirting would soften the blow once she became demanding, if she became demanding.

“Apparently the guy I want to date,” she answered. “It’s a witches shop, right? Don’t you make love potions?”

“It’s not something we keep in stock, no,” Clint answered. “I am of the firm belief that everyone has body autonomy so I don’t stock items that take away any layer of that. No love potions, no truth serums. Usually the people using them don’t understand the consequences that come with their use.”

Soon enough the man she walked in with joined her and looked as surprised as Clint felt. It was the cutie from across the way who worked at the coffee shop. He smiled after a moment and looked at his sister before he gave a ‘what can you do’ type of shrug.

“Is that something all witches have to say?” the girl asked. “Some spiel about how bad things can happen, yada yada. Like it’s a liability clause so you don’t get sued.”

Clint laughed and picked up his mug and took a sip before he set it down. “I wish anyone luck suing me for using spells- those aren’t covered under anything the government takes seriously. But no, that’s not why I say that people don’t understand the consequences.” He propped both elbows onto the table and rested his head on his hands. “Let me ask you a question- what’s your name?”

“I’m not supposed to tell that to people, right?” she asked, all proud of herself.

“Hmm- yes and no. But seeing as I’m no fae and I am not collecting your hair, I think you are safe,” Clint teased. “My name’s Clint.” He offered her his hand.

“Rebecca,” she answered, shaking his hand for a moment.

“Rebecca. That’s a nice name. And who is this?” Clint asked.

“My brother, Bucky,” Rebecca answered.

“Rebecca and Bucky. Okay Miss Rebecca. How about I cut you a deal?” Clint said. “I will make you this love potion- I certainly know how to make it, I’ve made it before. But there is a price.”

“Five bucks?” Rebecca asked.

“Close,” Clint replied. “I will give you enough of this potion to make this person fall hopelessly in love with you for a year. But- in exchange I want Bucky here to drink it too for a year.” Rebecca’s eyes widened at the request. “That’s not asking too much. No cost of supplies. You wouldn’t owe me anything really. Just a moment to convince your brother that this is a good idea.”

“You would- you would make him drink it?” Rebecca asked, horrified.

“At least you would be asking him to do it, right?” Clint asked. “You are giving him that choice. Or would you have me add it to his drink without him knowing?” Clint asked. “Anyway, what is a year of someone’s time? Or even just a weekend? What did you want this potion for? A dance?” Clint guessed.

“I… I couldn’t. Not to Bucky,” Rebecca replied, stepping closer to her brother. Clint looked up at Bucky who didn’t look too concerned- he must have caught on to what Clint was trying to do.

“So if you wouldn’t allow it to happen to your brother… what makes you think I would allow it to happen to someone who also might not want that?” Clint asked. Rebecca stared at him before the lesson started to kick in. “Love potions strip away who you are and your choices, and replace them with the desire to appease, and love, the person who casts the spell. All your body autonomy? It's gone. And you have to hope that the person who made you drink the potion will grow bored and stop. And even when it stops- it doesn’t get much easier without time to heal and a good therapist.”

Clint stepped around the counter and walked down an aisle, looking at a row of books before grabbing one and bringing it back, setting it on the counter. “This book is filled with stories from people who were used by others, and by the spiritual world. Love potions, truth serums, spells to make you do the bidding of others, and people who used a spirit board thinking it would be fun. I think… you may benefit from reading this book.”

“How much is it?” Rebecca asked.

“It's from my private collection. As long as you bring it back in the condition I lent it, it’s free of charge,” Clint said. Rebecca nodded and picked the book back. “I know it’s October and that means it's spooky season and all the kids your age are looking at witchcraft and thinking about dabbling. And there is nothing wrong with dabbling as long as you know there is a give and a take. So. My suggestion?” Clint said. “If you want to dabble, come back and see me, and I will connect you with a person who can help you learn the safe way to do some things.”

“You don’t teach anyone?” Rebecca asked.

“I don’t- I’m not suited to be a teacher,” Clint answered. “I’m more suited towards… helping people find their paths and connecting them to others who can take that path too. So. Read this book and come back to me. Let me know if you are serious. No harm either way.”

“Thank you,” Rebecca said, hugging the book. “Bucky?”

“Go ahead, I’m going to stay behind for a minute,” Bucky said. Rebecca nodded and waved before she took off. “How many times a week do you get to give that talk?” he asked.

“You don’t even want to know,” Clint replied with a laugh. “Although having you there made it easier. No one ever thinks about the consequences unless someone they love is there.” Clint sat down on his stool and picked up his mug. “If it helps and she wanted to go through with it, I wouldn’t have done it.”

“That is comforting,” Bucky admitted. “So… witchcraft?” he asked, looking around the shop.

“Pays the bills. Been burned before in the past and want to make sure it never happens again,” Clint answered.

“Sounds like an interesting life story,” Bucky replied. “You know... when you get off work, since you were such a big help to my sister and all, I could make you one of those fancier drinks you like but rarely buy. All it would cost is some stories.”

Clint smiled and picked up his mug. “Sounds awfully close to a date,” Clint commented.

“No, a date would be taking you to dinner. I was thinking about asking that after the coffee repayment,” Bucky said. He leaned forward, his arms crossing on the desk space between them. “You can say no if you aren’t interested.”

“I am very, very interested,” Clint answered. “But tonight I have to… do-” Clint waved his hand at his book. “And I can’t have coffee before I do spell work or else I will end up with another disaster.”

“Sounds like another good story,” Bucky said, starting to smile. “When are you off next?”

“Wednesday. I get off at six,” Clint answered.

“Well, would you look at that? I’m off Wednesday at six as well,” Bucky said. “Meet me over at the shop when you are done here?”

Clint tried not to look or sound too eager. “See you then,” he said as casually as he could.

The door opened and Clint saw Rebecca’s head pop back in. “Stop flirting and let’s go.”

“You are… a huge problem. Do you make potions to make little sisters less annoying?” Bucky asked, walking backwards to the door.

“Sadly, no, or else I would have used it on my older brother,” Clint replied.

“Shame,” Bucky said, wrapping an arm around his sister’s neck and pulling her in, using his free hand to ruffle her hair. “Wednesday at six!” he said before he dragged them both outside, laughing and smiling.

Clint watched them as they went and picked up his mug. He slowly took a drink, trying to keep the giddy feeling down. “Okay Clint- that was… one way to get a date,” he said. “Now where were we-” he said as he opened his spell book.

#spooky season prompts #a wild prompt appeared

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ofkareenas · 3 years

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. ∘ ∗ : 🐝 𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 …

JANHVI KAPOOR, CIS WOMAN, TWENTY-FIVE, SHE / HER ⟨ ✽ ⟩ hey, you haven’t bumped into kareena puri lately, have you? they have been living here for the past two years and during that time, locals have gotten to know them as charismatic & creative. a little birdie told me they can be quite stubborn & opinionated though. explains why they’re an online fashion brand owner and designer . they really remind me of morning beach walks, sketchbooks filled with new designs, the sound of a sewing machine running. if you’re ever looking for them, i bet you can find them around port briar lighthouse.

hi again, it’s tally ! this is my second baby kareena !! she’s very new to me and it’s pretty exciting bc i tend to just recycle characters kjhfgkj again, if you’d like to plot, please reach out to me on dms, or you can like this and i’ll reach out. you can also talk to me on discord if you’d prefer that. ( gowon face insurance company#8416 ) also pls excuse how messy this is, i havent written a proper full intro in a while.

. ∘ ∗ : 🐝 𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈 …

kareena puri

march 30th, 1996 - 25 yrs old ; aries

cis woman, she/her, bisexual (closeted to her family, not so much to anyone else)

born in mumbai, india. raised in seattle, washington.

currently residing in port briar, maine

pinterest board: here

TW / CW: none, other than a controlling family, which idk if it even should be tagged but yuh

kareena knew it, she was lucky compared to others. she had it better than some of her peers, and she recognized that privilege. but if she could trade her family life for a “normal” one, she would in the quick snap of a finger.

kareena’s family was pretty much old money. she came from a long line of doctors in almost every medical field, and they own so many private hospitals and clinics in many countries. if you happen to hear the Puri family name, you probably would associate it with these things: a big hospital that you probably drove by with your car or a surgeon that your doctor wanted to refer you to.

every child in the family was expected to go to med school. it was the only way to keep the family legacy and pride going. of course, the more new generations came in the family, the more there were those who decided to take different fields of work instead. and of course, the eldest members in the family would always voice their disappointment in them, and would always make sure to remind them that they’re a disgrace no matter how successful they are in whatever field they went into.

kareena didn’t know what she was doing at the young age of sixteen. her parents would boast about how she would be a successful doctor when she grows up, just like her older siblings, and how her younger siblings would be the same as well. all kareena did was nod and smile. she didn’t want this.

the thing is, she was a naturally great student with really good grades, and yet her parents would be disappointed if she got a B+ or even an A- on a subject every once in a while. she didn’t get it. she thought she was doing her best. although the complaining about her report cards was getting a bit too much coming from her mother, and that’s when kareena really started to not give a fuck. yes, she still got good grades for her own sake, but she started to do whatever she wanted. she hung out with kids her parents would call a bad influence, and started to skip some school days or go to parties on the weekends. it was fun and liberating to her.

once her senior year was over and kareena was graduated with a high school diploma, her family was back at it again, trying to get her to apply to all the notable medical schools out there. she had protested about it, and family fights ensued, and with some threats, kareena was forced into applying. next school year, she was in another city, studying to be a surgeon, and her mind wasn’t into it at all. she only lasted one year before she decided to drop out and transfer to FIDM, a fashion school in L.A, instead.

kareena has always been into fashion. the way she dressed would tell you so. how she was always on the latest fashion, and how she would have so many sketchbooks and scrapbooks of fashion related things. she loved making her own clothes at home with her sewing machine. her mother would tell her that it’s a nice hobby, but she never guessed that her daughter would want to pursue it as a career. the color drained out of her face when she saw what kareena had done. she was angry and disappointed, and mostly worried about what the rest of the family would say, more than she cared about her daughter’s wants and needs. kareena, however, didn’t care. she was happy. she moved out to be closer to campus, and soon enough after graduation, she left everything behind and decided to go somewhere quieter: port briar, maine. this was completely different from everything she was used to, it was so quiet and small, but she loved it. she finally feels at peace with herself.

now, kareena is a successful fashion designer. she started an online business, and it has been booming, with fashion influencers promoting her work. she was hoping that someday she would get to do bigger things, like making custom items for celebrities and being featured in fashion magazines and fashion weeks. she could only wish and work towards that for now.

and even with all of that, even when kareena had picked herself up from the ground on her own and built her own business, her family still didn’t approve. they still pretended to care about her, but would make sure to remind her of how disappointed they are in her and the path she’d taken. they would sit and wonder what it would’ve been like if she continued to go to med school, and how successful she could’ve been. and all kareena would do in response is smile and say that she’s successful anyway, but at least now she’s doing something she actually loves.

. ∘ ∗ : 🐝 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂 …

born in mumbai, india. moved to seattle, washington when she was still a baby, and was raised there for the rest of her life, all while still visiting family back home.

kareena is the middle child of 5 siblings. two older brothers and two younger sisters

she is bisexual, and she’s pretty open about it. except to her family. shes not out to them

she believes in working hard, but she also believes that everyone deserves to have fun and get a break every once in a while. she currently is the only main person doing all the work for her business, but she’s hoping to soon hire anyone who has the same interests as her

her designs are mostly evening wear dresses and such. think teuta matoshi or marionela type of dresses, all flowy and puffy, giving fantasy feels

altho i would say her success is more like early hope macaulay, when she was still starting out. if no one is familiar with her, she is an irish fashion and textile designer who got famous for her knit wear on instagram, and she’s p young !! u might recognize her work if u look her up <3

she currently lives alone port briar, with her rented home facing the beach. exactly how she likes it. it was different and definitely not lavish like her home growing up, but she liked it better. she could’ve lived somewhere more expensive, but she didn’t want that.

owns a studio where she usually works. there is more space for her there than what she used to have at home. all the design process, sewing and even photoshoots take place there usually

if not working, kareena could be found at the rocky beaches near the port’s lighthouse or off somewhere on an adventure. she is always here to have a good time

honestly kareena is still such a new character for me, so if i think of any other hcs, i’ll add them here

. ∘ ∗ : 🐝 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂 …

friends from school, could be from seattle or L.A: kareena would’ve kept in contact with those friends tbh shes the type of person to keep her friends around. even if they were just added to her snapchat or followed on instagram. she would keep up with them

toxic relationship / gf: THIS

exes ?? we could definitely plot this out

high school ex perhaps 👀

FWB: no strings attached

neighbors: she lives on sea sprite lane

family members? kareena would be hoping that left them all behind in the past, but it can’t be denied that she has a big family and she could possibly run into any of them at any moment

omg crush perhaps ! idm if it’s one sided, and it could either be kareena having feelings or the other person

a friend she had a falling out with: she probably met this person two years ago when she first moved here. something might’ve happened and one thing after another, they dropped each other and it was probably the worst falling out for both of them

clients / customers for her business perhaps. or maybe a helping hand!!

literally anything u wanna do, lets gooo

#briar.intro #heheh it's finally here

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nagisasstunningpersonality · 3 years

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TINSITOGS, a retrospective (happy birthday)

(yes I’m like two days too late I know I’m sorry)

Why hello followers and ass class fandom, nice to see you there. I’m sure MOST people know about this, but in case you don’t, hi. On AO3 I’m better known as livixbobbiex, writer of maybe one of the most infamous Assassination Classroom fics.

Which I mean like, if you haven’t read it yet you totally should it’s fanlore at this point I promise-

Shameless plug that I don’t need aside, I felt that, on its first birthday since actual completion, I just wanted to share some things about it. Some tit bits about writing it, fun facts, maybe even some author advice TM. I appreciate that it’ll be super annoying if I do that in the tags, though, so that’ll all be under the cut. If you don’t want to read the whole post, then no matter what, thanks for the support in general!

I also want to take the opportunity to announce that I’ve reopened my discord, so if you want to talk about my fics with me (and others), you’re more than welcome to join! (the link is here)

The origin story

I’ve stated this many times, I think, but TINSITOGS was never supposed to be a serious story. Taking you back, quite a long time, it actually started in a facebook DM with a friend. We used to come up with “head canons” with each other, which were basically just very condensed fanfiction plots over a multitude of text messages. I believe I was trying to cheer her up, and I tried to come up with some kind of plot line.

At the time, I was fairly fresh to the Ass Class fandom, and I was joking about how there were no teen pregnancy melodrama fanfictions. It wasn’t that I wanted one, I just thought it was strange for a school centric anime with a bunch of ships to NOT have one. And, back then, I only really cared about karmagisa. So I just decided ‘right it’s happening’. The reason I decided to make it ABO was due to ‘it making sense’. Fun fact: it was almost written as AFAB trans Nagisa, but I decided against it as I didn’t rate my ability to handle it well back then. Looking back on it, I’m glad I made that decision.

Over around two months, writing out the plot of this story took over my life a little bit. I had no idea where I was going with it, but I was having so much fun with the drama that I decided that Karma and Nagisa shouldn’t get together soon at all, and I had a lot of fun teasing my friend with the ‘will they won’t they’. It was only when I got bored that I invented this intense drama plotline to finish it all off.

That period of time was a lot of fun. And whilst that friendship didn’t end well, I still have a lot to thank her for. She chose Daichi’s name because I had no idea, and she wanted to annoy me because I didn’t like Haikyuu. When I couldn’t decide on his hair colour, the purple was her suggestion because ‘why logic?’ Daichi speaking Korean was because of how much she liked Kpop. She even helped me choose the title of the actual fic, so there’s a lot you can thank her for, honestly.

After I finished that story, though, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Whenever I daydreamed, I used to think about that damn Daichi Akabane, and how much I wanted to tell his story. I’d even come up with extra stuff to fill in a lot of the gaps, and developed his character in my mind. I decided that I was really desperate to write it down. Usually that worked when I had an idea I wanted to work through.

I wrote the first chapter in late 2017, and then the next two as well. I just, kept going, and realised that I could go further still. TINSITOGS was never something that was supposed to be shared, but I decided I may as well. After all, that fated ‘teen pregnancy drama’ fic still didn’t exist, and I thought it would be funny to make it happen.

Yes, as I’ve stated publicly a few times, TINSITOGS was a crack fic. If I wanted attention from it, it was infamy. We even joked about me cursing the fandom if it ever became the most popular fic (whoops?). What I wasn’t expecting was a bunch of people, in a fandom where at the time there were NO ongoing karmagisa fics and it was pretty dead, to really seem to enjoy it. It was enough to have me keep writing it, at least. I still don’t know at what point I actually started taking it seriously, but somehow I did, and the rest is history?

The reception

In my wildest dreams, I never thought that I would be the author of one of the most popular fics in the fandom. To this day, the amount of views TINSITOGS has is insanity to me. For the record, across all platforms it’s on today it has 238,000, which is literally a number I can’t even visualise anymore. Almost quarter of a MILLION. To this day on AO3, it’s the most viewed Ass Class fic that’s an ACTUAL ass class fic (the others are multi fandom compilations). So yeah, I achieved the original goal, I guess?

Now you might be wondering, “omg the karmagisa fandom is fujoshi trash”. And, considering the origins, it is kind of funny. The thing is, though, TINSITOGS was written at incredibly good time. It was written when there were, essentially, very few long form Karma/Nagisa stories. If any other fics did get posted on occasion, they were usually just oneshots. I was also, at that point, writing very fast. A symptom of ADHD is becoming obsessively productive over certain things. Since I was able to get a 3k chapter out every few days/once a week, TINSITOGS was consistently bumped to the top of AO3′s default view. And some of those first few chapters were altered canon, and transcribing the canon dialogue didn’t take very long. The more views it got, the more people would read it out of sheer curiosity.

I think it also helps that, at least after it started getting some positive feedback (which was honestly after the pre written chapters), I purposely tried to make it ‘not terrible’. I mean, I personally think the first chapter is pretty weak and if it wasn’t somewhat iconic to a lot of people I’d rewrite it. But in general, I purposely tried to make the world of ABO my own, to make it more accessible to those who don’t like that genre, and stay away from the inherently grosser stuff as much as possible. I genuinely do get comments about how I introduced people to the genre as a whole, still not sure if that’s a GOOD thing but hey, it happened.

TINSITOGS turned into a lot more than just a joke. It turned into my favourite hobby. It turned into a research project (honestly, you would not believe the amount of mummy vlogs and legit scientific articles about child development I consumed). It turned into something that, at least I believe, was widely loved.

Meaning

I think it might be wrong to say that I don’t have AN idea of when I started to take the fic super seriously. For me, it was around the time someone commented something along the lines of saying my writing meant a lot to them, that they’d spent all night reading it and had been unable to put it down.

Not to get too dark here, but I do have a past in writing a very long, somewhat popular fic (it’s still on my fanfic net profile if anyone’s interested, but I don’t recommend it). However, in the latter part of my teenage years, the depression struck. Writing was the love of my life, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. Maybe I’d be able to muster an idea or even a chapter at the best points of that, but I’d never completely finished any story. Starting to write again was a huge step in my recovery, and one of the reasons I convinced myself that life was worth it was being able to impact someone’s life somehow. Even to this day, I still remember the fics I read when I was, like, thirteen. How much I still remember them, and how much they meant to be at the time. I wanted to be that writer for someone else. To be honest, it was actually Yuri!!! On Ice that got me out of the super bad, but I still never wrote anything of real consequence. TINSITOGS was the first time in a long time I actually committed to something.

And, to be completely honest, there were a lot of times I was tired of it, and wanted to just quit. But, the thing was, I felt like people depended on me in a way. I got so many comments that were just FILLED with support, telling me how much they looked forward to every update. It wasn’t just empty words, either, a lot of the times these comments would be super engaged with the actual writing. I can’t even describe just how much they meant to me, how much I would look forward to reading everyone’s opinions. And then discord happened, which was a lot of fun.

TINSITOGS went a lot further than I ever thought it would. There were comments, discussions, fan art, fan FIC (which is honestly incredible to me). Someone even added it to TV Tropes, at one point. Not to mention the Cards Against Humanity deck and quiz It makes me so unbelievably happy that I could inspire that much creativity, but it’s a two way street. It was all of that which inspired me to write, too.

Writing

The only real goal I actually had was aiming for around 3000 words per chapter. I had a whole facebook log of plot points as planning, and I was mostly just trying to expand on them into prose. I honestly thought that, at its completion, the entire fic would be around 100k words, if that. Not, at one point, being literally the longest ass class fic on AO3.

There are a lot of aspects that were directly adapted from the original messages, and I tried to stay faithful to it more so at first, even if I later removed some of the pure crack. But the style was also vaguely similar, with the story being told mostly from Nagisa’s perspective with swaps to Karma when it made sense. All the main plot beats, too, are pretty much identical. The plus to this was I was able to add a lot of really fun foreshadowing, and I feel like it’s a fun reread because of it.

Honestly though, if there’s a demand to release those OG message logs, I will. Mostly because it’s kind of funny, and interesting to see. Isogai and Nagisa were engaged at one point, even.

Obviously, it changed somewhat. 3000 was the minimum length, and the time to completion was whenever it felt right. One of my big concerns was about pacing, so it took a lot more fleshing out and maybe ‘filler’ content for some of the main arcs to work.

There’s parts of TINSITOGS I don’t think aren’t written that well, and some that I’m still super proud of. I think you can definitely tell there’s a gradual shift in style, and I get a lot more comfortable with writing them as characters as it goes along. To be honest, my pride for the fic overall is what it represents.

It is funny to think about the places it got written in, though. I started it when I worked at McDonalds with no life direction, then it went through my first year of university with me. It’s been written in at least four countries. Aeroplanes, night clubs, long haul buses, a train through the Japanese southern coastline. Even the start of covid. TINSITOGS managed to see a lot. I even turned a scene in (the boat scene during the India chapter with altered names) to my university as a legitimate assignment.

There were also a few messages I wanted to achieve, once I realised I had the platform to put them across. One of them was, obviously, ‘use protection kids’. It was important to me that I didn’t glamorise it too much, and I think that came across. I also wanted to dispute some of the issues with ABO, and subvert the consent issues as much as I could. An arc I really ‘liked’ writing was how abuse doesn’t always look the same way, and that it can be a drawn out change in behaviour. How the most important part of ‘being a good parent’ isn’t perfection, but genuinely loving and doing the best you can for your kid. How love doesn’t solve everything, and effective communication can take a very long time to learn and build a functional relationship. I mean, there definitely was a lot I tried to put in, and you’re free to interpret it all how you want. But, I like to think some people learnt some of these things, at least.

Daichi

Honestly, Daichi developed almost of his own free will. I had a good idea of his appearance, and that he was smart. Writing him from birth until around nine years old (older if you read the sequel fic) pretty much allowed that fluidity. It was really fun to explore a nature vs nurture development, and let his own characteristics speak for themselves.

He’ll always have a special place in my heart.

This is the first image I ever made. When I was trying to figure out what Daichi looked like, I honestly just edited Karma’s hair (pretty well, actually? I’m impressed with my past skill). That’s where the ‘he looks just like Karma’ meme kind of came from.

This was the first image I actually created of Daichi. I THINK it was on rinmaru games mega anime creator or something, but it’s literally not available on the internet anymore as far as I can tell, so I can’t double check. This was in the pre-piccrew days. His eyes are closed because they didn’t have the right tone of goldish/silver.

His sister, Kaguya, didn’t even exist originally, even though I decided on that ending pretty early on. Actually, she was going to be called ‘Irina’ due to some hijinks. Initially, when Karma found out about Irina’s pregnancy, she was going to get super emotional and mad at him and basically force him to name his first born daughter after her. Karma agreed to shut her up, never intending to have another child, so when the surprise second child later came along they had to live with the pain. However, to be honest I just forgot to write in the actual scene that set it all up, and I decided against adding it anywhere else. The name Kaguya was a very last minute decision, and it was a chance for me to explore some ideas that didn’t fit with Daichi’s character.

Interestingly too, Daichi and Nao were never intended to be a thing. I only decided that towards the VERY end. Even though the reason I named Nao that was because of a ship I had in a J Drama (Good Morning Call). It just kind of ended up happening because I won myself over with imagining the cute.

The music

I used to write with a lot of background music, though not all the time. Particularly towards the start, there was a lot that didn’t really make sense thematically, yet I would write to a lot.

Here’s a link to the spotify playlist if you want it it’s basically all the ones I noted I’d listened to a lot. Not including the smut ones, though, I have a whole playlist for that.

Some of the notable ones:

Five String Serenade - the first scene I wrote of the entire fic, in Chapter 25 New Year Time where they fell asleep cuddling.

Cosmic Love - when I wrote Nagisa’s love confession scene in hospital (I also wrote this pretty early on)

Northern Downpour (though it was actually a cover by Emma Blackery) - The chapter after Daichi’s born (30)

When The Party’s Over - Confession Time Third Period, Chapter 69. I literally listened to this song on REPEAT when I planned and wrote the kind of ‘break up’ scene, and it’s one of the few parts that made me cry writing.

Turning Page - I know I said no smut, but this song actually gave me the idea to have the “I love you” in chapter 108 be less on a whim and actually more built up. In the original plan, Karma really did just say it without thinking. I’m glad I changed that.

Bury Me Low and Numb - pretty much all I listened to when writing the last few chapters, because Evil Nagisa core. So much so that Bury Me Low was in my top 2020 songs rewind.

As for the title, there’s actually quite a funny story. I had no idea what to call the fic, and when that happens I usually just try and find some song lyrics. I really wanted to use something from ‘October’ by the Broken Bells. Not only because it’s my favourite song (has been for years), but thematically it really worked. The issue was, it worked as the WHOLE song, there were no individual lyrics that captured everything. And, if they did, they didn’t flow very well. And naming the fic ‘October’ would have been weird for a lot of reasons. There Is No Sweeter Innocence That Our Gentle Sin really was just plucked randomly, in a desperate search to find any snappy lyrics from any song that had some kind of meaning. After a bit of discussion, we settled that it kind of worked... if Daichi is innocent and they committed a sin or something. It also wasn’t the most obvious lyric from the song (Take Me To Church if anyone doesn’t know) so I just went with it. It works out, I think, because TINSITOGS turned out to be a pretty good acronym and pronounceable word in its own right.

The merch redbubble drama

It’s a well known fact that I’m not very good at art. However, I decided to try pixel art because it seemed the easiest to not mess up. I made Karma and Nagisa, before deciding to also give Daichi a try.

This, to this day, is the only good quality art of Daichi that I actually own. The only one I’m actually happy sharing and thinking it doesn’t look terrible. As much as I love people sending me fanart, it’s not ‘my property’, right.

So, I was kind of joking about TINSITOGS having merchandise. At first I just made two funny quote things, and uploaded it to redbubble. I was never intending to actually make money from this, and I’d agreed to myself that if I did, I would just donate it to charity. I was joking with the quotes, but since I had this artwork I figured I may as well uploaded. Separately, there was also an image that had pixel Daichi next to pixel Nagisa and Karma (which I also created).

Aside from showing up in a few people’s adverts across the internet, there was no real harm with this. In fact, I didn’t make money anyway. It was just... more the joke of it existing. I did, however, buy myself a Daichi phone case, which is one of my favourite possessions.

The funny ‘drama’ comes in when they got taken down due to copywrite. Sure, the one with Nagisa and Karma, I understand. But the other three literally had no mention or anything to do with Assassination Classroom, aside from being from a fanfiction. So basically, someone who owns those rights claimed my OC as theirs. Which makes Daichi canon? Whatever the case, I found this hilarious don’t worry.

How has TINSITOGS changed my life?

This is quite a strange thing to think about. Because, in a lot of ways, it really hasn’t. As I’m sure a lot of people know, I don’t really consider myself to have any real ‘fame’, despite the impressive numbers. Whenever I tell people in my personal life, they seem to think I’m some sort of internet celebrity, but that’s never been the case for me. I mean, it’s hardly a cultural phenomenon.

In a lot of ways, I’d much rather befriend someone than have them admire me. Possibly because being someone’s inspiration is kind of weird... I’m just an awkward duck who likes to write after all. I don’t mind it, though. I genuinely find it an honour, even if I don’t necessarily agree. I also want to take this time to say that if anyone ever wants to talk or message me, you’re more than free to do so. I’m usually super casual with people who do that, I promise.

TINSITOGS was the first story I ever finished in the way I truly wanted to. Start to end, a full narrative. And it took a LOT. There were so many times I almost felt like quitting, or took super long breaks. For me, ADHD queen, actually finishing something was a huge deal. And I know I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t owe it to everyone who read it, and myself, to see it through. You know like, if I were to die tomorrow, at least I’ve left something behind.

In a lot of ways, it’s changed me for the better. It’s helped me develop my writing styles, and way of thinking. It encouraged me to become more active in the fandom, and develop some important friendships. I always feel like my Tumblr and Fanfiction ‘known’ factor is separate. I think most of my Tumblr following is more to do with my theories/Japanese context research if anything, for example, but I know I wouldn’t be so interested in that if TINSITOGS hadn’t lead me to deeply examine character and really look into analysing source material for clues. I also think there’s just... a lot of myself in it.

I was 17 years old, when I first came up with the idea. I finished the story when I was 20. Now, at the time of writing, I’m 21. That time has seen some pretty significant changes - just in general life facts and my own personal human development. For me at least, a lot of that was pretty turbulent, and TINSITOGS stands as a time capsule for that, in a way.

I know I gained a lot of confidence, and it affirmed to me that writing is what I love. Telling stories and sharing them is what I love.

Conclusion

Do I think TINSITOGS is an outstanding piece of writing, or the best fic ever? No. I really don’t. It’s strange to say because I definitely spent a lot of time on it, but it’s not like I put my full unbridled efforts into the story. I don’t fully plan, use a beta, or even read through on my own. And that’s okay - that’s not what I write fanfiction for. Fanfiction is my place to have fun with characters and stories I like, without the pressures of having to stand on my own complete originality. Yes, I’m fully confident that I can write at a “higher quality”, if I really wanted to. I’m also aware that some authors put their full effort into their fics, and that’s just as valid!

It feels odd to say this about my own writing, but I honestly think there’s just something in this story. It might not be written in the best prose ever, and the premise might be kind of dumb for a lot of people. But, I think, there’s some part of this fic that managed to grab people. Somehow, at some point, many readers get captured into the emotions and so drawn in that ‘they just have to finish it now!’ Again, I’m not sure myself how I actually achieved that. Of course, that won’t apply to everyone, but I do feel there’s some truth in it. And it makes me happy, to have caused that.

If TINSITOGS is your favourite fic, or if you genuinely think it’s the best story you’ve read, then thank you. I really appreciate your support, and I’m happy to have been a part of your life, I guess. I know how much fanfics can mean to a person, and that’s why I’m not going to take it down, or edit it at all. And it’s fine too, if you loved the fic for a while and moved on -i t happens. Whatever the case, I’m very honoured to have been able to occupy a moment of your life. Or if you find this fic in 10 years time, even, I still wholly appreciate you.

This story was incredibly important to me, and thank you for reading if it was ever important to you too.

You may ask, what now? Well, this is only intended to be a detailed look back for whoever’s interested, and it’s likely the only one I’ll actually do, a year after completion. Of course, if you ever want to ask me anything or just discuss the story, you’re honestly good to contact me in whatever way I have available.

I’m still writing my ongoing stories, of course, despite taking a small break due to the university work load. I fully intend to complete the stories I’ve already started to tell, at least. After that... I’m not sure if I’ll still write fanfiction. Don’t panic, this isn’t a ‘I’m quitting writing’ thing. I may, however, have bled the Karmagisa genre a bit too dry at that point. Who knows? I am pretty interested in writing something original for once, so maybe that’ll work out.

For now, at least, thank you to anyone who read this fic. To anyone who commented, liked, or interacted with me over it. To anyone who created or learnt from it. I’m really glad that I got to share this story with you all, and ultimately left some kind of mark, no matter how big or small.

Happy birthday, TINSITOGS. I had a lot of fun writing you.

#ass class #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #tinsitogs #karmagisa

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thethirteenthcrow · 4 years

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The Shyan Shipping Society Writing Challenge ✍️💕

Hello dear shippers!

My name’s Zhalia, a fanfic writer on archive of our own. you might know me from my stripper!Ryan au, or the cinderella au or from the many comments i leave on your amazing works.

Since October, i’ve been hosting very lowkey writing challenges on the Shyan Shipping Society Discord server. and i figured, i’d let good ol’ tumblr get a piece of it!

this is a fun lil' challenge to practice your writing with random prompts!

(shout out to @helloitsvehere for making the amazing header here and sorry to keep bugging you on it but it looks really amazing now darling <3)

✨RULES✨

✧ the challenge is held at monthly, we don't want to pressure anyone too much and we want to give you enough time to work! on top of that, the minimum amount of words for this challenge is 50, which is a very low bar, it's no school, this is for fun!! also don't worry if you miss a month.

✧ from the day we set the prompt, you have one month to meet the challenge. with this, we request a chapter or a start. if a prompt inspires u to write more than a oneshot or one chapter, feel free to expand as much as you can outside the challenge! everyone is requested to post their submissions on the same day (so say we start at october 1st, then you're only allowed to submit your submissions on october 31st, no sooner). We then hope to announce the new prompt on, for example, november 1st to continue the cycle, but it may differ at times.

✧ There are no specifications to your writing. you may write however you like, a story, a description, a poem, anything is allowed. you're free to write in any rating, be it G or E-rated. we prefer M/E of course, cause we're thirsty like that. if you’re an artist, you’re free to join too! more elaboration in the FAQ below :D.

✧ if you have ideas for prompts, please DM me on Discord or mail me on [email protected] ! i love to hear em <3 (keep reading for more information on the challenge)

i can’t wait to see all your lovely works! i’m really stoked to see and chat with you and learn all that’s going around in your wonderful minds.

much love,

Zhalia💖

✨FAQ✨

o What is the Shyan Shipping Society (Server)?

The shipping society is a discord server owned by @bradpistachio where a bunch of shippers gather to chat about anything: their lives; the boys; other fanworks like fanfics and fanart; annoying antis; we have a writing lab to talk about your own works, and much more! The server is filled with amazing artists like madamecrimson, @helloitsvehere, @pizzacastella, sonzaishinai and many more. The server is an active and welcoming community. In the server, I also roll out the updates for this challenge and answer all your questions. Will we see you there?

o Do i need to join the server to post?

It's not required! The server is a lil' bonus, a place where you can talk with fellow shippers about anything, but also where i will be reminding you of the challenge. We have handful of channels dedicated to this writing challenge, so it might help you out. It's also easier for me to follow, and whenever you have questions i will reply faster there than anywhere else. But, again, it's not necessary.

o If i join the challenge once, am i required to join every month?

Most definitely not! You're free to join and leave whenever you want. Sometimes a prompt doesn't inspire you, or life dragged you away from writing and that's completely valid! This challenge is supposed to be a fun way to motivate you to express yoursef through your art, but it's not school so don't ever feel pressured :).

o What tags do i include, what are the ratings we work in?

There are no required ratings and/or tags for you to use. In general, the prompts are all focused on Shyan, but if you'd like to add Standrew as a background relationship, feel free!! If the prompt is Watcher-oriented, but you feel like you need a bit of that spice that Curly brings with him, i encourage you! On top of that, you're free to choose whichever ratings you feel fit best. Personally, i mostly live off of M- and E-rated fics, but if you're uncomfortable with graphic descriptions of anything, and would rather keep it a fluffy G-rated fic, then knock yourself out! I believe you know what's best for your work!

On the shipping server, the prompt will have a set of recommended tags, these are ideas i'd write the prompt in, but they aren't mandatory. If it says 'friends to lovers' but you'd rather write 'established relationship' then feel free! It's your work after all.

o Is there a minimum and/or maximum word count?

There is a minimum word count of 50 words right now, to show that you're seriously participating (i mean, wouldn't want "he smiled, they kissed, they fucked, the end" as a fic, right?). Your work does not have to be finished in order to fulfill the prompt, you can write one chapter, or one paragraph and edit it later when you have more time. If a prompt inspires you enough to write a long fic about it, don't feel pressured to finish it within a month! Take your time!! All we ask is for you to have written a start, and post that to the collection.

o i am no writer, but i’d love to make art for this in another way, is that possible?

Of course! originally the challenge was only made for writers, because the server was filled with a majority of writers. however, over the past few weeks we’ve had a handful of artists join our little community as well, people like sonza and @berakangkang. Sonza has blessed us by filling the October prompt as well, so if you’re an artist and you’d like to participate, please join! we love love love your art. honestly. the server goes wild on fanart.

o When do i post my submission?

Everyone who joins the challenge, posts their submission on the same day. This is the last 48 hours of a month - CET timezone. The next prompt will have been rolled out a day before we open submissions, so you can get familiar with it for a day or two before starting on it.

o I don't think i'll reach the deadline, now what?

You can contact me privately about this through our discord server - for fast replies - or via my email ([email protected]). I will open the collection for you so you can submit it later. Keep an eye on the deadline though, a challenge won't be reopened a month after the deadline.

o I have an amazing idea for a prompt, where do i submit it?

On the discord server, we have a channel named 'prompts-and-ideas' where some of these prompts even came from, you can submit them there and @ me so i'd know it's for the writing challenge.

If you don't have discord or don't want to join the server, you're free to mail me your idea with Shyan Shipping Society Prompt Idea as subject! I look forward to your ideas!

here’s the link to the parent collection on Archive Of Our Own, where you can always find the new prompts for the next months, and where you can post your work once i open the collection.

i can’t wait to see your works! i’m very excited to see what you all can come up with <3

ps,

this is the first time i host a writing challenge like this. i’m still learning my way around ao3′s function to make prompt meme challenges, and there may always be little bugs in the system, because i have but a small brain. i rely on carl-bot to remind me to post and open submissions and everything, to keep it running smoothly. i am trying my very best to make this fun for everyone. also i crave feedback, so if you have any comments, complaints, ideas, critique, please hit me up!!

oh and yeah i am very inactive on the tumblrs because i don’t uh catch the vibe of this platform but i’m trying. i’m trying. 👉👈

#shyan #we took an oath #skeptic believer #buzzfeed unclean #shyan shipping society #shyan shipping society writing challenge #fanfic #fanfics #archive of our own #archiveofourown #ao3 #writing challenge #please bear with me i have but a small brain #zhalia does a thing #zhalia's writing challenge #discord #discord server

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obsidian-aurora · 4 years

Link

As I’m about to dive into the events of 227 in my fanfic, I thought now is a good moment to take some time to reflect on the past year.

Words: 1,086,764

Chapters: 131/?

Comments: 2206

Kudos: 4065

Bookmarks: 350

If you can believe it, I started writing this fic almost a year ago now. I’ve written the equivalent of a novel a month this whole year! Nuts. I watched The Untamed for the first time over a year ago. My soul was captured by the light that I saw in Xiao Zhan’s and Yibo’s eyes when they looked at each other. And I haven’t stopped believing in the power of love since then.

Sounds corny? Yeah, kind of is.

It’s hard to imagine that when I started writing this fic, the Special Edition hadn’t come out yet. There was only the official BTS on the Tencent channel to watch - as well as a pile of interviews and fanmeetings. There were no secret Discord groups, I didn’t even have a Twitter account. I had this old blog of mine on Tumblr and an old AO3 account that I dusted off to start writing some fanfiction again.

Did you know I’m a self-published author? Oh yeah, for years I wrote nothing but my own novels. You can check them out here at lillybirdsong.com

I thought to myself, I’ll just write a short fanfic over the course of December. I’ll publish it in January and rid my system of this bug I’ve got and then move on. Now, a year later and I still can’t stop writing about these boys. What is it? It’s all about love. It’s about the belief that against all odds, whether it’s living in a society that doesn’t support LGBT individuals, whether it’s struggling with management companies that don’t support you in your own careers, against all odds Love Wins™.

Or does it?

I’m about to embark on writing the 227 part of the fanfiction and I thought it was really important for me to remind everyone that what I’m writing here is not a bible, it’s not a biography, it’s a piece of fiction that’s my own personal interpretation of what might have happened. I’m saying this because it’s soul-crushing to imagine what might have taken place behind closed doors, the conversations that would have happened, the thoughts that would have spun out of control.

I mean, I just remember my own journey. Some of which is documented right here on Tumblr. I wrote one of my first artist blogs when I hit 50 chapters on Yizhan in early Feb. I wrote a post when Xiao Zhan fans first started calling out AO3 for hosting inflammatory material. I wrote a post when I considered whether this fic should be abandoned. I wrote a post when Coronavirus brought me back home on a plane way earlier than expected. I wrote a post in April when I completed 80 chapters, and at the end of May when I completed 100 chapters.

I’ve gone a bit dark on Tumblr since I moved to Twitter where there’s a lot more BJYX interaction going on, but Twitter is not a good place for a long post so I’m once again spilling my thoughts here on Tumblr.

Writing about 227

As I start to write about this, I’m going to pick and choose which rumours I will write into the story and which I’ll discard. Because let’s get real - there are a lot of rumours out there, and no one except those people intimately involved will know the truth of the matter. I do choose to believe some of the malicious rumours. And so I will include some of them.

Don’t start a war in my comments section. I beg you. I’ll just have to end up moderating my comments which I never wanted to do.

Disagreements within the fandom

I’ve noticed more and more “extreme” behaviour within the BJYX fandom. I feel like ever since the “secret” BTS (which are mostly the same as what we saw in the official BTS just longer cuts) have whipped turtles up into a frenzy! And when someone has a different opinion or when someone likes to spout theories about what their small interactions might mean in the context of the bigger picture, that can cause harm.

So I’m saying right now - everyone’s entitled to their own points of view. No one knows the truth but the ones involved.

Don’t bring your disagreements to my fic.

Respect in public spaces

I have also stated this on Twitter but I want to put my 2 cents here as well. I’ve also been uncomfortable lately with the amount of public discourse about body parts, about sex positions, really really intimate things. If you want to write fanfics or draw fanart to explore these interpretations, I say go for it! That’s appropriate because it’s within the realm of fantasy. But when it comes down to really speculating about what’s going on in the private lives of these two men we love so much, I personally would rather those conversations be relegated to private spaces - Discord, WhatsApp. Not Twitter and Tumblr. So you’ll notice that I’ve unfollowed and even blocked some accounts recently that cross a line I’m not comfortable with.

When I do that, it’s not about you, it’s not a personal attack. That’s just me not being comfortable with the content that’s being created in the space it’s being distributed. If you want to chat with me about it, I’m very open to having that discussion in DM. I’ve been called a hypocrite for my views given that my story is an explicit one, but in my mind there’s a clear distinction between me publishing a story on AO3 and people discussing their real private lives in public spaces like Twitter. That’s just my point of view and I mean no offence to those that feel the opposite.

As usual, I always have my finger on the trigger to take Yizhan down the moment it causes harm to the boys in question.

Other interesting things I’ve done lately:

I’ve been publishing some Fanart. (See the pic at the end of this post as an example). Follow me on Twitter @ObsidianAurora to get the latest as I usually post things first there. I’ll try to remember to post things here as well.

I started a YouTube Channel. It’s called Queer Stories and it’s my space to talk about all things queer - video games, TV shows, and yeah sometimes even how harmful it can be to assume you know someone’s gender identity, whether they’re feminine or masculine, and that this has nothing to do with a person’s sexuality. This video I made in the context of BJYX/LSFY/ZSWW and Yizhan.

I opened a Patreon account since some people wanted to know how to support me. I have been jobless since our visual effects studio closed down in May and I’m starting up a new job again next week (finally!) but if you want to contribute for the work I’m doing this would be the way.

Be Kind.

I’ve rambled on for quite a bit now so let me end it here. Let me just say please be kind. Be kind to each other. Be kind to those who disagree with you. When you’re tempted to lash out, consider the other person’s point of view first.

Remember that what started this was love. Not hate. Don’t give in to the temptation to participate in fanwars. Remember the love.

Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

~Obsidian Aurora~

#yizhan #yizhan fanfic #yizhan fanfiction #bozhan #bozhan fanfic #LSFY #bjyx #bjyx fic #bjyxszd #zsww #wangxiao #wangxiao fanfic

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tsukiyamavalentine · 3 years

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GOING ON SOCIAL MEDIA BREAK: BE BACK IN A WEEK OR SOMETHING!

Hey, besties! So, I’m going on a break, as you can see. And before I go I wanted to come and say a lil tiny goodbye!

I take social media breaks every few months, but this is the first one I’ll be taking where I’m actively interacting with ppl on social media!

See, at the start of 2021, I didn’t talk to anyone online bc I was so anxious and awkward that I thought I’d just get shouted at, and I still worry abt that today.

As I’ve mentioned before, I suffer from chronic loneliness. I basically don’t talk to anyone irl ever. My mum is always working or too tired, and my dad is not a nice person and I don’t want to talk to him. I get to go out twice a week, and that’s dependant on where my parents want to go. I just spend my days studying, working out and doing yoga to distract myself from the fact that my entire life is one big lockdown.

So, I thought posting on social media would help with that! And it kinda has, but at the same time, it’s helped me realise that I’m really not good at socialising, and I mean…I’m autistic and I haven’t spoken to anyone in over four years. So yeah.

I get really bad anxiety sometimes online. Like, I think that everyone’s mad at me, or ignoring me for no reason, so I get upset, bc I don’t understand what I’ve done. And then I get angry bc I don’t understand why I’m being ignored, and then I get upset again.

Ik none of it’s true, and I don’t need anyone to tell me that. I’m aware of the fact that it’s not true, I just want it to stop. I just wish my brain could cope and deal with things normally, but it can’t so here we are.

Last week was a rly bad week for me. The whole week I just felt like everyone was mad at me me, that all of you wanted me off social media, out of the TG community, that I was annoying, that you guys were upset with me and I didn’t understand why, so I kept spiralling in and out of anger and sadness.

I couldn’t stop thinking abt it. Constantly, just nonstop thoughts abt it.

That’s why I’m taking a break.

I feel like the past few months I’ve rly made good progress socially, and I think I just need a lil break to refuel and spend time with myself. I hope u can understand.

I am hoping to have more irl social contact soon, so hopefully I will no longer spend my life in my bedroom, and hopefully I won’t feel like this anyway.

The only social media I will be keeping open is Discord, despite the fact that I think everyone in the servers hates me; I want to keep some sort of contact open. So if u have anything you’d like to say to me, please message my discord:

If u dm me on Tumblr and Instagram, I will not reply until I come back, bc I am logging out completely.

I know I said I would be releasing more playlists, but I am not happy with them yet so I’d like to do that when I come back!

If u see a post from me tomorrow; that post is SCHEDULED and I will tag it as such. I am not back, that’s just something I scheduled.

The only occasion in which I will stop my break will be if I release a chapter, but I released on yesterday so that wouldn’t happen.

So yeah. I’ve had a rly hard few months and I honestly think I just need to take some time away. I have some rly positive things coming up; I’m buying StudioVeena pole classes to help me progress, bc pole rly makes me feel so happy! That’s why I got upset with some of u last week. Bc it felt like u were making fun of one of the few things in my life that brings me joy, and then y’all made fun of the other thing that brings me joy…lol.

I’m also hoping to start doing schoolwork in a public library, swimming, and doing yoga outside! So hopefully things will get better for me soon.

I’m quite an optimistic person, so all I’m trying to do is keep my head up and keep pushing through this hard period.

I hope you all have a lovely week, and I’ll see you soon!

#this will temporarily replace my pinned post #break #important #hiatus #social media break #mental health

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yamisedai-a · 4 years

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RULES

MUTUALS ONLY:

this blog is highly selective/private & mutuals only for my own comfort. i’ve had some bad tumblr experiences in the past and i’d rather not have any more. i will only rp with you if you are 18+!!

NSFW THEMES:

gore and sexual content may appear on this blog, these themes will always be tagged as 'tw: nsfw'. similarly, any common triggers will also be tagged accordingly on the blog: 'tw: blood', etc. if you have any triggers or need something tagged, please just ask! i personally do not have any triggers that need to be tagged and if i do, i can filter them myself.

FOLLOWING // UNFOLLOWING:

if i follow you, i want to write with you! it also means i’ve taken the time to read over your rules and i hope you would do me the same courtesy. if i follow you and you do not follow back after about a week, i will respectfully unfollow.

DUPLICATES:

while i respect everyone’s individual portrayals, i tend to be a little self conscious about my portrayals. it’s a habit i am trying to break. if we’re good friends and get to talking ooc i am more willing to write with dupes. generally i am pretty okay with them.

CANON DIVERGENT:

i try and stay as true as i possibly can to any character's canon, however i am human and i do not agree with all canon scenarios that are portayed on screen. if there are any canon divergences with miroku, they will be noted further in their respective verses/info tab.

TRACKING // TAGGING:

tracking/tagging: yamisedai

TOXIC // NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR:

vagueposting, constant negativity untagged, or hate of any kind will get you unfollowed or blocked. i do not tolerate any kind of toxic behavior. if i see it? bye. accordingly, if you’ve broken any rules that i have listed here as well, that will also possibly result in a consequence of the same result.

OC FRIENDLY // SELECTIVE FANDOMLESS:

i’m open to different verses and aus with some characters that i know the fandoms of. however, this blog will only be within inuyasha majorly. THOUGH I LOVE OC’S! if you follow me, and i do not see my character and your character interacting/or if i have to do a lot of research on the fandom/character and it is hard to find the information on your blog/wiki, i may not follow back.

MULTI. - PARA. // NOVELLA:

i write single, semi, and multi para. sometimes i write novels hahah. sue me. but you never have to match my length! and if you have any issues with the length, just shoot me a message! you are also ALWAYS welcomed to shorten a reply if the threads are getting lengthy, all i ask is that you do give me something to work with.

THREAD FORMAT:

i am not big on aesthetics. i find it time consuming to edit replies with the little time i do have. i like my tiny text and one icon-- but if you don’t use any formatting or go the extra mile, i don’t mind! i am fine roleplaying in whatever context that you are, even if you don’t format at all! i do have astigmatisms in both my eyes. sometimes small text hurts to read. especially later in the evening, when i do most of my writing, but i can always zoom!

NO REBLOGS OF THREADS:

personals - do not reblog threads! you are welcome on this blog, feel free to like threads and posts, however if you reblog them, it messes with my notifications and makes it EXTREMELY hard to find things. I will usually give a warning once, after that i will block.

MAINS // EXCLUSIVES:

i do instill mains and exclusives. mains will take priority in threads/asks/etc. i will have around 2-4 of each canon character- a list will be added soon on the bonds tab! don’t be scared of the list! and if you’re interested in becoming a main, just shoot me a message to discuss it!

MUSE PORTRAYAL:

i do not own miroku or claim to own him! muse does not = mun! & i’m also not here for drama, politics, or ship wars-- just fun and creativity-- that’s all. anything that happens in character does not reflect me as the mun! miroku may be mad at your muse but i am not mad at you!

REMINDERS:

while they are fine, excessive pestering will also resort in a not happy vicki, i'll probably ask you to chill & if you don't, it will result in a block.

NO GOD-MODDING:

don’t godmod, powerplay, you know-- all that good stuff. if you have a concern you would like to address about myself or my blog, please come and speak with me. my dms and tumblr ims are always open.

RP ETIQUETTE:

i am not a meme or aesthetic source! i am very happy you like the content that i am posting on my blog, but please reblog from the SOURCE. it’s common courtesy and very much appreciated, not only from myself but many roleplayers!!!

MUN:

hi there! thank you so much for reading all of this! it really means a lot! my name is vicki, please just vicki--not vikki, viki, vicky, vickie, etc. the spelling of my name kinda bothers me since there are like a million of me in this world/it is my actual name and yes, i am very icky.

i’m 28, she/her, est, basically married & i work 40+ hrs a week as a banker. please be patient with me on work days! usually when i work i am only available in the evening. you can always find me on discord and tumblr ims for plots and chit chat though! if you do not already have my discord, please feel free to shoot me a message and ask. i'm not really one for drops on the dash or anything. i love making shit, even if i think i suck at it hahaha. if you ever need icons or screencaps, i am open to helping you out, if i have the time!!

this is not my only blog on tumblr! i am also pretty active within the star wars fandom, i have a multi where you can find more inuyasha muses & i have a rwby blog currently on hiatus. if i am not here, you can find me on those blogs!! if you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask! thank you for taking the time to read this!! i truly appreciate it and you! <3

blogs: @sundragcn, @greyfulcrum, @anchoredstowaways

#rules #tw: long post

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a--knightinsourarmor · 3 years

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PLEASE, READ THOSE RULES BEFORE DECIDING IF YOU WANT US TO INTERACT

MAIN HUB BLOG/SIDEBLOGS: My main roleplay hub blog is knightinsourarmor and I follow, send asks, and like from there. I currently have seven sideblogs, one for each of my muses. Todoroki Shoto (repressedkindness), Pro-Hero Todoroki Toya (hopelesslypersisting), Amajiki Tamaki (sunlitsoul), Novak Castiel (BNHA verse for SPN canon) (shatteredoptimist), Kambe Daisuke (unwaveringdetermination), Levi Ackerman (dreamsofregret), and Castiel (defectivesoldier). If somebody follows me on any of these sideblogs, I’ll assume they wish to interact with them. You don’t need to follow my main blog, but I suggest you do so. On my main blog I post ooc posts, muse updates, activity updates, memes, starter calls while any testing muses will be portrayed there. If I find you only follow my main blog… You either haven’t read my rules and my muses page or you only care for my ooc shit?

REPLIES: I want to study as a med student and have to work at the same time. That means that I can be really slow when it comes to replies. I wish you understand and don’t feel offended or lose your interest if I take some time to answer our thread. I believe in quality over quantity. Some days I might reply to specific people. That has nothing to do with you or your writing. I just might need to roleplay a specific matter or thread or enjoy someone’s writing too much and need to focus on that for some time. Not replying may also mean the exact opposite. That I can’t come up with a good enough reply compared to yours and need some more time.

MUTUALS/NON-MUTUALS/FOLLOWING: When I follow someone, I have read their rules, about and verses pages, and some of their threads. If someone follows me and I haven’t followed back in a week or two, that means I’ve checked their blog but I can’t find myself writing with them. Non-mutuals can send me asks, like my starter calls, and reply to my open starters. If after some interactions I find myself interested in their writing, I will follow them back. When I become mutuals with someone and if I am not on a hiatus or semi-hiatus, I’ll write a small starter to break the ice. Nobody is forced to reply to it.

AGE: I am over the age of eighteen. I won’t write with anyone younger than the age of sixteen. I am open to roleplay almost anything and this will be a free NSFW blog. I won’t roleplay anything which will be considered R-rated with minors, meaning anything that includes sexual themes, intense graphic violence, drug abuse, etc. but I am open to write most things if both muns are of age.

TRIGGERS: I tag the triggers my mutuals have on their rules/about page. A doc with all the triggers tagged will be added soon. If you need me to tag a specific trigger, feel free to send me an ask or a message. I tag triggers like: ’#tw: yourtriggergoeshere’ without the quotation marks. My own triggers are ridiculous ones, but I’d be grateful if you tagged them. It’s aliens and cockroaches. That’s the reason I won’t be writing with any roleplay blogs having alien muses (those having a disgusting non-human form).

TAGGING: I have a very specific tagging system. If someone doesn’t want to see a specific character or faceclaim (you’ll need to block the character’s name again) on their dash, I tag the character in both threads and fanart as: #|| (ch.) character name || . For most anime, their last name goes first, except Shingeki No Kyojin (Attack On Titan).

SHIPPING: I prefer male x male relationships. I am a little picky with female OCs because of bad past experiences. I do not mind age gaps as long as both muses are adults (p.e. Levi x Eren) but I will not ship a young muse with someone who is like a father figure to them (Aizawa x Shoto). I am very slow to ship, for the reason I like building a relationship through threads. If there’s chemistry, feel free to discuss shipping or like my shipping call.

SMUT: I will not write explicit sexual scenes anymore. For muses of age and muses with high sex drive, depending on the chemistry between our muses, the limit is foreplay. Most of my muses are asexual. For them, it is very rare to happen anything more than kissing and cuddling. I will fade to black. I do not feel comfortable writing detailed sexual scenes anymore, the only part that interests me is the tension and trust built between our muses and aftercare. Inappropriate language may be present for all muses.

DRAMA: I don’t care for any drama or witch hunts going around. If I see any on my dash, this will result in me soft-blocking or hard-blocking you. I don’t want to participate in any of these and I find them disturbing.

FORMATTING: I cut posts and use small text and icons. If my roleplay partner doesn’t use icons, I won’t use any myself.

MULTIPLE THREADS: I don’t mind having multiple threads with the same person especially if I enjoy their writing.

POST LENGTH: My writing style is advanced literate. That means I need more than a paragraph to roleplay with. One paragraph is fine still, but as long as there’s something interesting to reply. I don’t mind how long your replies are. Just take notice that I will probably mirror you and my reply will be the same length.

SELECTIVE: I am selective when it comes to writing. I need a paragraph or more to reply. I need to roleplay in third person and I don’t roleplay on DM. I roleplay on discord so if we are mutuals, feel free to ask for it.

MAINS: I have blogs/threads which I prioritize over others. This isn’t personal. I just feel more motivated to reply to those. I don’t have exclusives.

TRACKING/REMINDERS: I usually track my threads with an app but it takes a lot of my time. I try to use a tagging system even if it doesn’t work as well as I want it to. Don’t be scared to remind me to reply to something I might have forgotten. I could possibly forget to add it to my tracker but constant reminders make me lose my interest in the roleplay (if there’s any). I understand and appreciate for someone to tell me I have forgotten something. Myself, I will remind someone of our thread after two months or even more.

TIME-SKIP: Well, I’m someone who can enjoy something that is slow. I am pleased with anything as long as there’s some really good and inspiring writing (how many times have I said this?). I can keep a thread for years (and I have) and not be bored of it. If you start getting bored we can time-skip but I’d want to discuss this first.

DROPPING THREADS: Unless it’s a one-liner, I don’t drop threads. If you do drop one of our threads, I’d appreciate it if you told me.

ASKS: You are free to send an ic ask to all of my blogs. My main or my sideblogs, as long as you specify, I don’t mind. You can continue an ask I have answered. I actually encourage you to do so.

STARTERS: My open starters are actually open to everyone and don’t hesitate to reply to one if someone else already has. Then I’ll reply to another post and tag you. If I offer to make a starter and you accept and you don’t reply after a month, and if I have messaged you and you haven’t responded but you are actually active, sorry but no matter how specifically we have plotted our thread, I’ll assume you are not interested anymore and turn it to an open starter. I put some time into those and I don’t want it to be to waste.

CROSSOVERS/AUS: I really love writing AUs and crossovers. I enjoy the possibility of characters from other fandoms interacting with each other. I have crossover verses for some of my muses and more will be added in the near future. For characters from fandoms I am not aware of, I’d like to write with them on a modern verse or one both muns agree on. For those characters, I’ll treat them like OCs.

OCS: I enjoy writing with OCs, as long as they have enough info and our writing mesh well. For most OCs, our first thread will be one that our muses get to know each other for the first time. I’d like for them to meet as complete strangers and let their relationship build naturally.

ENGLISH: English is not my mother language. I have learnt English completely alone and it’s something that has been hard for me. I understand telling me if I have made any mistakes or ask me if you didn’t understand something but I won’t take any criticism.

MEMES/FANART: This is something I had recently started to be annoyed with. Please, do not use me as meme or fanart source. This goes for roleplay partners or not. Please, reblog memes AND fanart from the source.

SPOILERS: This blog is not spoiler-free. I will tag spoilers: #|| spoilers || and try to keep everything under READ MORE. You have been warned.

THANK YOU FOR READING MY RUMBLING BEFORE FOLLOWING ME FIRST. PLEASE CHECK MY MUSES AND NAVIGATION PAGE AND FILL MY INTEREST CHECKER. ALSO YOU CAN CHECK MY VERSES AND OPEN STARTERS. YOU CAN MESSAGE ME AND PLOT ANY TIME. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. JUST FYI I MIGHT NOT BE TALKATIVE. THIS IS NOT PERSONAL AND DOESN’T MEAN I AM NOT INTERESTED FOR OUR MUSES TO INTERACT..

UPDATES

DAY/MONTH/YEAR: -

16/03/2021: REWRITTEN MY RULES

#|| mobile navigation ||#|| important post ||

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turkoftheslums · 4 years

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Anonymous asked: Who are some of your favorite people on your dash every day and why?

‘Ello, nonnie.

Pretty much everyone I follow can be counted as a “favourite person” but I’ll tag all the people whose chats I have up on the side of my screen because otherwise this post will end up longer than my combat analysis (I know, I know, I haven’t posted it yet and it’s been months).

I may have wrongly assumed some pronouns here so please let me know and I will fix them asap. 💙

@missionheartcd - Kyrill is absolutely lovely and we’re both always up for whatever the other is thinking. Our first in-character interaction was when chasiingrain’s Jessie gave her Tseng a cat and he was looking for assistance from his Turks so Reno was like “Can I offer you a nice lint roller in these trying times?” and then our next interaction out of character was me launching into her DMs like “LOOK I know we’ve only interacted once but I have this image in my head and I need to tell you about it” and she was completely up for me hopping into her inbox, no questions asked.

@rude-at-your-service - not a day goes by where I don’t think of V and sing his praises (even just to myself). We’ve been mutuals for almost 5 whole years now (he was the 8th blog I followed when I made this account) and he somehow put up with my silly childish knobbyness back then. But we’re big bros now with mutual love for our muses who call each other bro and he gets a free pass on my 1 thread per blog rule (which I need to reword in my rules) - if only because our other thread is almost done and I don’t shut up about soft Reno and Rude content lmao.

@chainedbydarkness - I don’t really know the mun all that well (I think their name is Jay? Because of their Discord name my brain calls them that name automatically but we’ll use Jay for the sake of this). Jay seems like a really nice person and they play Bakura who is, like, my favourite character in Duel Monsters (and the abridged series, even though I do a better Marik impression than (Yami) Bakura) and I really like how they’ve implemented Bakura into the FF7 universe by making him a medic. They’ve been bundled by work lately so I don’t see them as often on my dash but I hope they’re doing well!

@wedgeofavalanche - Jess is awesome. She has some really cool ideas and just a delight to talk to. Her wings AU is awesome and so well thought out. I still need to continue on from that one ask meme I sent ages ago where Wedge was to listen to Reno’s heartbeat (because I’ve had this one funny idea in my head ever since and I know she’ll love it)!

@shutupreno - This mun. This mun is awesome. I think the mun uses he/him pronouns but please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. He is one cool bean and I always love when he pops up on my dash. I’m really glad that’s he’s around and I’m thankful for the support he offered me when I was trying to power through my uni work.

@reno2ndgun - If you want another Reno with a hysterical sense of humour, please check out this mun. They’re chill to talk to (hell, I was even messaging them last night about what I’m storyboarding) and we occasionally hit other up at random intervals just to chuck random shit at each other. A delight of a mun and I love having a nosy at some of their threads.

@chasiingrain - I. Love. Light. I can’t even remember when or why we started talking, it just sort of happened - probably because of the screen cap posts. She is my main Reno dealer and I can’t wait for part 2 of the remake to come out because I’m certain I’m gonna be sent a random 4K Reno tiddy or two from her and it’s gonna be great. We also recently found out we knew each other from my XV days which is pretty awesome. Her blog always lights up my dash (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I’m not sorry) and I love the relationship we’ve built up between Jessie and AVALANCHE Verse Reno.

@dimidiumseras - Rain is a frickin’ delight. Been following them since 2015 and I’ve loved their art ever since. I might have freaked a little when they followed me back because it was like “No! You’re quality! Why are you following me?!” Still not gonna get over the Turks as Minions doodle though. And I’m the reason they’re plagued with Me? Gongaga posts all the more these days. :3c They send funny images and videos to me pretty much every day and I pay it back in kind with more funny images, TikToks and shitposts.

@soraofdestinyislands - We don’t talk as much as we should but it’s always great to see them on my dash! I did accidentally contribute to encouraging Sora to drink that one time a few weeks ago but he had two irresponsible adults watching over him so it was fiiiiiine. Also I don’t know why but I always laugh when I see their Sora swearing on my dash and I’ve a mix of “No sweetie! Don’t swear!” and “YES! YEEEEESSSSS!” when it happens. So yeah lmao.

@renoltage - Faye is awesome. I think about her quite often and hope she’s doing okay. I can feel her love and adoration for Reno through her portrayal and I hope her muse comes back to her soon. I miss seeing her blog on my dash.

@that-turk-laney - And here’s my partner in crime, Mia. I don’t remember who followed who first but we always through ideas and art back and forth and she helps me find words I’m looking for. I love seeing her posts on the dash and she’s one of the many I have notifications on for (so if you see me liking your posts as soon as they go up, I have notifications on for you lmao). Batting general thoughts and ideas back and forth with Mia has really helped me develop Reno over the past few months and– it’s just been awesome.

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professordarwin · 4 years

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The Perfect 2020 Storm

It’s been too much these last few months. I’m not even sure where to begin. The situation in this country is still showing no signs of getting better, everything keeps getting darker, tempting me to leave. I commonly found myself looking for reasons to stay, but one by one they all just fade away. Let’s start with the Storm that had been growing without me noticing...

My friend’s GF has always assummed I am the worst. For some reason, every little thing I do seems to be used by her to justify her rage against me. Over the past few months I have thought about what it could be. Maybe she was insecure and needed me to be as well, maybe it was because she like my girlfriend, she even tried to hit on her when I wasn’t present, suggesting that we were not meant to be together, which is fucked up. Maybe I remineded her of someone that treated her baddly. The thing is, I barely even talked to her, she always seemed unstable and I didn’t want to be around people like that anymore, but I never told her this or did anything against, and even then... Why?

Things with my girlfriend had also been rough, I love her but every week she would get upset about the littlest of things, I talked with her about this and she always ends up saying that it’s because she doesn’t feel loved, even though I told her I loved her every single day, I sent her food when she didn’t want to eat because she was feeling down, and hold her next to me when she would wake up from nightmares. She nevered seemded to remember this things when discussing how I didn’t love her enough, it was never enough. She told me that I was damaging her emotionally, that she couldn’t accept it anymore... Honestly, it was shitty for both of us.

A few weeks ago we where going to play DnD with my friend, her GF, mine two other people and me. We had been playing Divinity original sin 2 with my GF, but she was already moody because the game had a weird interface and supposevely I had made a stupid choice for both of us (We were only 30 minutes in the game). We realised we were late so we stopped the game. When we got into the discord call I asked her if she save the game just in case and she told me that she had already closed the game as if my question was stupid. I didn’t want to make a scene so I brushed it off. We started playing and eventually got to a point where my GF’s character realised who the murderer’s of her family were, obviously her character was shocked and she made very clear that another character should talk to hers. Now, my paladin was known to be a selfish jerk from the beginning, so it made no sense for him to approach out of the blue her character. However my friend’s GF insisted that it should be me, making very clear that she was implying that it was my GF and I should talk to her. Because breaking inmerssion in a fictional game instead of talking things directly is always the best. Eventually we got into combat, my GF was trying to give the finishing blow and used a spell that according to her never misses. I told her that that’s not how the spell works and she got upset saying that that’s how it has always been, even though I had told her before after another session this wasn’t the case. She then got angrier and asked the DM what to do, and the DM told her that if that was what the rules said then that’s how it is. She got really upset and began implying that I was a selfish cheater and that I made up my own rules. Honestly this made no sense but I didn’t want to make more drama now so whatever. After the game she kept saying that I had no right to say what I sad and that I should let the DM handle it, I explained that it was a very basic rule and that the DM even agreed to it, but she didn’t care. After all that unnecesary bullshit I had had enough...

The next day I talked with her and let her know that it made no sense for us to be togegher if I was always going to be a pain for her. She tried to say that we could work it out but I made very clear that we tried before and it wasn’t going to work, she also told me that apparently in a different group they had they all agreed that I was being super annoying in the game. Yeah, sure, my friends GF is in that group and has had a history of telling my friend that I was being mean to her and needed to be stopped, even though we hadn’t even spoke. I asked my friend about this but he told me the main issue was that not everyone was having fun, never really admiting to saying anything against me. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, even though they could have talked to me about this supposed issue themselves instead of me finding out because someone told me while fulled by rage. So I texted them in the group saying sorry for explaining the rules of the game. But my friends GF was not taking it, she was making passie aggresive comments immplying that I had gone TOO FAR, and that I made everyone unconfortable. So yeah, my GF can tell me that I’m a cheater but if I explain a rule I’m making everything awakward... Another who I talked very little with even came to defend me, saying that I was just explaining basic rules and didn’t think I deserved all the things she was saying. I wanted to see if the would reconsidered, but instead he could me a liar piece of shit who talks shit behind everyones back (But you did....Whatever) and that ever since she knew me she could tell I was going to be an asshole. Shen proceded to kick me out of the DnD group... Wow...

Honestly, it was too much for me. The worst part is that NO ONE even talked to me after, not even my friend. They haven’t add me back to the group even to this day. When I tried to talk to my friend to know if I did something to upset him he just told me that it was his GF that was upset because I treated my girlfriend poorly. I told him that she said I made him cry and talked shit behind him and if asked him if he could told me when this happended but he avoided the questions saying it was because of how I treated my girlfriend... He never took responsability of how his GF acted... Honestly I lost a very old friend that day, he was distant and it was like talking to someone in a parallel dimension.

That day I realised that a lot of people were talking shit behind my back, even possibly my best friend. My now ex-girlfriend told me that she sometimes talked to them about how she felt, but it never occured to her that it would cause this, insisting that it was actually about how I never talked to my friends GF... How can someone even come to that point? We barely spoke so how?

The part that still stinks is that my friend insisted in adding her to our close friends whats app group. And now she is still talking there, as if nothing had happended... I though you hated me but apparently you have no issue being in the same group as me now? It just pains me too much, it pains me a lot because now some people are just going to hate me, because they feel that was she said was true...

Today I talked with my group of friends about this and they all seemed to agree that she crossed the line. I focused to much on avoiding drama but I can’t take it anymore, she verbally abused me and it’s not fair. I don’t know how my friend will react to her GF being kicked, but honestly she took it too far...

After all of this... I just want to leave, I just want to move to another country. This place has been giving me nothing but reasons to live. I’m not in a relationship anymore, I lost one of my oldest friends and the economy is going down...

I just want to be happy, I just need peace...

Please?

#journal #2020 #dear diary #diary #log

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