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houseki-no-suffering · 5 years

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on ch 82 and what the hell is the deal with phos

super long wall of words ahead, you've been warned. also, im not qualified to discuss the emotional effects of trauma, so please correct me where im wrong and don’t hesitate to add on this post

contains an analysis of phos’ character arc, explanation on why and how they snapped and what might happen to our child next:

1. genki phos 2. post winter phos 3. laphos 4. on trauma 5. on snapping 6. speculations about the future

so, first things first, I could not help but notice the sheer number of parallels between this chapter and other significant points of the story. it seems to me that parallels are becoming more and more frequent as the moon arc goes on, and that’s not just because there are simply more chapters to draw parallels from as the story grows in size.

I believe that we’re at a turning point in the story, or even that the turning point has been reached, (aechmea telling barbata to fix phos for the umpteenth time is most likely going to give phos the last treasure, but ill get to it).

so, to try and understand what in the seven hells is going on with our baby at this point (the fandom collectively adopted phos since chapter 2, sign the papers if you haven’t already and donate to the fund to send phos to therapy) let’s retrace phos’ character journey.

1: genki phos

the phos who is too good for this world, too pure, the cinnamon roll who has no idea what the hell is gonna happen to them. oh joy.

hnk sets off as a coming of age story. phos is the youngest, they’re seemingly useless in a society that values usefulness above anything else so genki phos is initially driven by lack of purpose.

i’ve speculated already on the characteristics of the lustrous society, a society that emphasizes sameness over difference and that has no place for outcasts like phos and cinnabar. your value, in lustrous society, is dictated by how much and in which way you can contribute to the survival of the species, with elite fighters (the diamonds) being at the apex of the social pyramid and everyone else coming after.

additionally, while gems live in a highly interdependent and close-knitted society, such interdependence never takes into account emotions, loss, imagination, introspection and free-thinking. the society is extremely practical, apathetic, immobile, and everyone is expected to conform to that.

think about antarc: they’re the poster child of lustrous society: a 3 mohs hardness gem who managed to become an elite fighter out of sheer willpower, who’s blindly loyal to sensei, who sacrifices themselves for the greater good (the group’s interests > the individual’s interests), that does little if any introspection and that is happy about all of this and wants to leave it this way.

phos isn’t like this at all.

since the very beginning of the series we learn that phos is an anomaly. and that’s okay, other gems have been anomalies, like padparadscha, cinnabar, even antarcticite, but while those gems found a way to tip toe to the margins of lustrous society to remain unobtrusive exceptions, or forge themselves into proper, useful members of the group, phos cannot do that. which is ironic, because we know that one of phos’ core characteristics is that they’re able to change and to bring about change in a world that is as immobile and still and stiff as… well.. rock.

like @ruddy-rutile pointed out in a past analysis, phos’ problem wasn’t so much that they didn’t fit in, but that they didn’t fit in the appropriate way: they’re emotional, they’re loud, they’re unreliable, they’re not apathetic. they’re kind. compassionate. imaginative. and imagination is something the other gems lack.

this fuels a deep sense of self-hatred that even at this early stages of the story is lying just beneath the surface and oozes out quite easily, like when phos wants to help ventricosus and mumbles that it’s no problem if they die in the attempt, they’re a good for nothing after all, what difference would it make if they dont come back. at least they were able to help someone, contrary to how they were unable to help cinnabar.

this is the leitmotif of the series: phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred. the internalized pressure and need to feel useful turns into a necessity for change. they need to save cinnabar, they need to save ventricosus, they need to become a fighter, they need to help sensei.

contrary to most of the other gems, phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally, they’re self-less by nature and that selflessness is a barrier that hides the real reason theyre so ready to put their life on the line for other people: the fact that phos thinks that their own life isnt wort a scrap.

as someone who believes to be worthless, guided by shame and guilt just for being alive and fueled by a deep desire to feel loved and accepted (just like a child), phos is unable to cope with grief and emotion if not by guilt tripping themselves even further.

the fact that the amethysts were almost taken is their fault, the fact that cinnabar is suicidal is their fault, the fact that antarc was taken is their fault, same with ghost’s abduction. the only way phos knows to cope with this guilt is by doing what every other gem does: bury these feelings deep inside their head and throw themselves into work. be useful, like alexandrite, rutile or red beryl.

2. post winter phos

what was a story about purpose, about phos’ coming of age, reaches an end at this very point, with antarc’s death. phos has become stronger at this point of the story, they have agathe legs and gold arms and they have grief to cope with, trauma.

just like alex’s job is studying the enemy and red’s job is making clothes, phos’ job is the one they originally desired for themselves: to fight. because there is nothing as valued as a good fighter in gem society and probably young phos unconsciously hoped to overcome self-hatred by taking on the most useful job there is.

post winter antarc is a skilled soldier, so skilled that bort wants to pair up with them. phos has reached their old goal: through loss and maturity, now they have a place within their society, they’re accepted and appreciated, valued but not loved. because these gems are so, so bad at emotions.

and this is where ms ichikawa begins to fool us all. she had us think that this story would be simple, but now hnk starts its steep and unrelenting detour toward existentialism and phos begins their dance toward madness and bottomless grief.

post winter phos is a soldier, they can fight off lunarians, but theyre still blaming themselves for antarc’s death.

we already said that phos is a very emotional gem and they possess a fervid imagination (probably just like lapis). so what do they do? they start thinking. “maybe i can retrieve antarc if we collect enough pieces. if i can communicate with the lunarians. if i can understand why we’re fighting.”

thinking quickly turns into questioning: why are we fighting? why are we so weak? why am i different? what changed me? is it the new additions, is it just life experiences? can we change? how can we change? antarc told me i shouldnt shy away from life, so im gonna push myself further and further.

that’s when shiro’s arc happens and sensei seems to know something about it, something he won’t tell the gems. phos’ questions suddenly turn to him.

phos is pretty much paranoid at this point of the narrative: they have experienced loss for the first time. consumed by guilt and grief for antarc’s recent abduction (even if phos still doesnt know what death means, we’ll get to that in a while), phos cannot think straight. they can’t be questioning the one authority every gem recognizes, the person phos and everyone else wants to protect, their leader, father, teacher.

phos feels like scum just for even thinking about it, as loyal and young as they are. and yet once you start questioning one minuscule thing about the way you have always lived your life, more and more will follow. it’s a cascade effect and it becomes faster the higher the number of questions, until you’re left with nothing but doubts and you must take into your hands the responsibility to find out for yourself.

this is more or less what happens to phos. they feel awful for doubting sensei the first time, in chapter 27, so they spill their guts to cinnabar, confessing their sins. but what cinnabar says does anything but put phos at ease: of course phos is doubting sensei: he’s shady, everyone knows.

however, while cinnabar is a quiet outcast, extremely prudent (and cowardly if you want) in the way they decide to face life, phos is the total opposite. they just needed a little nudge, they were already on the edge of a cliff of doubts and existential fears. cinnabar’s words are the second, big step that sets phos off on their path to the moon.

chapter 28 is when we see phos self-destructing because of this inner conflict for the first time, a pattern that will be repeated again and again the more phos loses sight of the truth, of a reliable something, a goal to cling onto and find direction.

it is ironic, because phos becomes a direction, a goal, the gems and the moon people’s hope (ch 59 and 72), but in doing so they have no hope left for themselves. let’s not forget that phos is very young by gems’ standards, not to mention in comparison to the moon people. how fair is to expect from a traumatized child to save the world and find answers to questions that run thousands of years deep and give phos nothing in return?

the pressure is enough to break phos and it does, quite literally, over and over and over again.

3. Laphos

lapis’ head comes at a time when phos was literally no longer able to manage this pressure.

it brings a waft of fresh air, it brings what emotional, kind phos needed to detach themselves from grief: coldness, rationality. and yet, it takes something away from phos as well: laphos is the phos that can no longer talk with cinnabar, the phos that brings cairn to reject the gems altogether and launch themselves into their kin’s killer’s arms. laphos is the gems and lunarians’ hope for a brief time, then it becomes the enemy.

i find it interesting how phos feels responsible for goshe and morga’s abduction too, even if phos was unconscious when it happened. phos has no clear boundaries between themselves and the rest of the world. they feel responsible for everything and guilty for everything. whatever they do will never be enough neither to make up for their past mistakes nor to find everyone a clear sense of purpose, safety, truth.

ichikawa plays with truth a lot. truth is that the lunarians are bad people and the gems must defend themselves, truth is that sensei is shady, truth is that the moon people are actually good, truth is that death is real, truth is that sensei is evil, truth is that cinnabar hates phos, truth is that the gems are evil, truth is that sensei is the only one that loves phos. who knows what the next truth will be, but can you call it truth, at this point?

if there is one point, i believe, that ichikawa is trying to make clear is that truth is subjective and that it changes, just like phos’ goal, the more knowledge you acquire and the more mistakes you make. truth is subjective but it must be sought after: you gotta keep fighting, you gotta move on even if you keep making mistakes, even if you cant undo your actions.

and another thing i think she’s trying to say is that you cannot make it alone. the moment phos tried to take it all on their shoulders, they moment they acquired lapis’ head, is the moment everything came crumbling down ten times faster than before.

and the most ironic part is that phos is still kind, even underneath that mantle of aloofness: they tried to do everything by themselves because they didn’t want to put anyone in danger, but in doing so they manipulated the gems just like aechmea. and aechmea knows and he’s been using phos for this.

4. Even more trauma

running after truth and after newer and more nuanced goals, phos has completely lost sight of themselves.

where do their alliances lie? what about their history? phos wakes up in ch 72 after the night raid and immediately breaks into pieces because they’re reminded of how cinnabar attacked them, the one gem they thought was their friend. one of the few truths phos had been clinging to.

phos wakes up after the night raid and asks the enemy “to the lunarians i look like a gem and to the gems i look like a lunarian. what am i?”

they break into pieces because they still believe they’re useless. they couldn't save cinnabar, they couldn't save antarc, they couldn't communicate with the earth gems, they couldn't even see adamant.

this is reminiscent of the very beginning of the manga: phos needs to feel useful, they need a goal, they need to be good at something. and just like they were ready to get lost at sea forever to help ventricosus they’re ready to die for someone else’s cause (not even phos’ own because they have no idea what to believe in at this point) just to be of use. after all, to phos, phos is nothing more than a scrap.

euc disagrees. ch 71 “we need you in our future” is a sentence that phos has probably ached to hear for centuries. “we need you. you are loved, you mean something, you are enough. you belong. we cannot build a future where you aren’t part of the equation. you matter”

and look at the way phos looks at euc. they can barely believe them and in fact they don’t. phos expresses some concern about dying (”after all, those less than 5 includes me”) but they still throw themselves into danger, they still take no care of themselves.

Phos’ self hatred and self-destructive tendencies run deeper than euc’s words could ever cut. those words meant well, but they were too little too late. phos thinks they don’t deserve this kind of hope, they cannot understand it, cannot fathom a world in which they are true and so they will go on believing that they are alone and worthless. next time they go on earth, they’ll go alone and unharmed

it is ironic. they did so much, they went to the moon and back multiple times, put their life on the line multiple times, made more progress toward unveiling the truth about the lunarians and finding a way for them to be free of samsara than anyone else did in hundreds (presumably) of thousands of years. they did it by themselves. in barely three hundred years. that’s impressive. and yet it’s not enough for phos. in their mind, they just keep failing.

so what’s the big deal? they can sacrifice themselves, it’s the least they can do and no one will miss them after all. unfortunately, this is true, at least to some extent.

im appalled by how little even the moon gems care about phos. they’re so self-centered it’s almost funny.

even alex, who has gone through loss and grief if not as much at least in a way similar to phos cannot find enough compassion in themselves to be concerned about phos’ wellbeing after a few months on the moon.

ive heard people mention how this could be a result of the moon people injecting who knows what into the gems or manipulating them someway or another, but i believe that there was no need to. phos is an anomaly after all, their kindness is an anomaly. the lustrous are little more than self-centered children: they are able of little if no introspection and they cannot process complex emotions like grief if not by shutting off those emotions altogether.

the moon gems are still vaguely concerned about phos. in ch 76, when phos departs for earth for the last time, they do tell them to be careful and come back if things get bad, but they do little more than that. it’s little comfort and too little emotional closeness and by no means close to the huge amount of support and (emotional) assistance that phos needs at this point.

phos tries to make do with what they have: a will to end this war and the superficial words of what should be their family, but it’s not even remotely enough. and yet phos, just like any other lustrous, is very bad at introspection: they don’t notice or if they notice they repress it. what’s one more thing down the subconscious after all? it’s fine. phos can take it, until they can no more and they snap without having any idea that they will snap.

phos’ journey, which has made them increasingly more emotional, fragile and human (the last one quite literally) has also made phos even more alone than they were at the beginning of the story. more alone, with the same sense of worthlessness, the same urgency to be good for something or self-destroy, and so much more grief, trauma, guilt and repressed emotions.

5. snapping

“I mustn’t think of anything” phos reminds themselves in ch 76. because thinking never brought anything good and because euc would see right through it.

once again, phos is repressing emotions. here they go, trying to be a cold blooded killer, ready to betray sensei again, the one person who has been good to them and that phos tried to hate with all their heart but just couldnt.

as ive written in a previous analysis, one of aechmea’s lowest blows was to tell the gems he was exploiting and manipulating to reach a salvation he doesnt deserve that if the gems want to acquire freedom they must do so by themselves. talk about coherence.

but that isnt all, he sinks even lower than this: he makes phos and the others question sensei’s affection for them. he says that sensei’s love is fake, it’s synthetic, the gems should totally make him pray or destroy him, no remorse, no strings attached. it’s such a dirty move.

no wonder it confuses phos even more. phos believes it, or tries to, they say they want to break sensei into pieces, but after the night raid they realize that it cant be that simple. sensei never attacked them. he has always been good to phos. and phos feels even more worthless, more of a traitor for daring believe in love, in sensei’s affection, when here they are, on the lunarians’ side, ready to betray him again.

how dare phos hope for anything? they dont deserve love, they dont deserve hope, they dont deserve happiness. they can try to give it to other people, they’ll kill themselves in order to do so, but they have no more hope and no love left for themselves, and they had so little to begin with.

as ive said, phos has little self-awareness and little introspection. i do believe that they had no idea they were going to snap until they did. even in ch 77, when sensei tells them he cannot pray, phos spends their last seconds of consciousness (before being attacked by all of the gems) to kindly ask him to pray. they dont care about themselves, but they dont reflect long enough to consider that reaching out to sensei like that could be interpreted as hostile by the paranoid earth gems. i think this is the first sign that phos is about to snap: they’re quite literally desperate.

tired beyond measure and forced to spend 220 more years in isolation, broken into pieces scattered all over the island, when phos comes to their senses again once kongo reassembles them they’re beyond despair. this war is taking the last toll on them and phos has no more energy to go on.

“please,” they say “pray. do it for no one else but me. grant me mercy,” from one bodhisattva to the other. they’re still somewhat normal, but when sensei fails to pray again phos can’t take it anymore. desperation and rage, fueled by hopelessness, worthlessness, grief and exhaustion make phos launch themselves against sensei, which, ironically, it’s exactly what the story needs.

apparently, phos is human enough to activate sensei but not human enough to make him pray. however, when the two of them join hands, sensei can actually pray. maybe it’s because both phos and sensei are intended to be bodhisattva? maybe because human voice commands are not as strong as contact? i have no idea.

phos has snapped by the way, and it’s weird how they go from “If only you weren’t here” to “sensei actually loves me” in a couple of chapters. in a certain way, we’re seeing phos going back to their roots: they love sensei and trust in sensei’s love, they’re once again openly emotional and impulsive, they’re once again ostracized by the gems (of course, much more violently this time).

i have written about how, after ‘fusing’ with sensei for a brief second, phos doesnt speak for the entirety of ch 81. they look and act like a literal monster, a scared animal, which is ironic since we know that they’re now human. i hypothesized that they might be reborn and that’s why they don’t speak, they’re a literal infant, but in light of ch 82, i think they’re simply hurt beyond measure.

they reversed to their old emotional persona, vomiting out all the emotions and pain and rage and hate they repressed during these 300 years. and yet they still don’t hurt anyone, not as much and as deliberately as they could at least.

they’re conscious enough to recognize the notebook and be reminded of their lost friends, realize how little the earth gems care for phos and for what they’re doing. and, i believe, when phos is rescued and comes back to the moon, they are, for the first time in the whole manga, enraged by the earth gems’ stupidity and sheer ungratefulness.

phos has been fighting for the wellbeing of everyone for centuries, putting their life on the line, never asking for anything in return and always believing that they were doing the right thing. and yet it’s not enough.

aechmea is a clever politician, and like every good politician he’s good at picking up changes and turning them in his favor.

he notices that there’s something wrong with phos and with the way they feel about the gems. maybe he doesnt yet realize that phos is angry at them for being ungrateful, but he senses something so he provokes phos: “you said to leave you on earth last time. did you change your mind?” that is “i’m not your enemy. see? im doing what you want me to do. not quite like those people down there on earth. oh, wait, were those your friends? aw, such a pity. to think they attacked you after everything you’ve done for them. but they’re your family, right? i’ll send you back to them if this is what you want. see? i’ll listen to your wishes. i am grateful.”

look how intently he looks at phos as phos incoherently and obsessively repeats the same thing over and over: “he would have prayed. he would have prayed for me. he loves me. he would have prayed.” if you want, this is also a syìubtle way for phos to apologize: they still feel responsible for their failure, but aechmea must understand: phos did everything they could, it would have worked, it was the gems’ fault.

adamant put phos back together, showing phos that he still cares. he is the only one that loves phos, while the gems (all gems, phos doesnt care much for differences at this point) keep hurting phos even if phos is only trying to help. so they must be killed. to hell with them all. and, notice, phos doesnt include themselves in the ‘gem’ category: they’re no longer a lustrous. they’re a monster, a liminal creature.

with nothing left to believe in if not sensei’s love and a promise to make him pray and then die in peace, phos wants to destroy the only thing that they believe stands between them and finally being useful, but also between them and freedom (freedom from suffering, from guilt, from existing, from their pain, from being): the gems.

this isn’t the first time that phos wants to kill something: in ch 68 they spoke about crushing sensei to pieces. it’s heartbreaking how phos went from “if only the moon people weren’t here” to “if only sensei weren’t here” to “if only the gems weren’t here.” will it turn into: “if only i weren’t here?” who are phos’ allies? who does phos feel kinship with? who is phos? they no longer know, and they’ve not known for a long time.

aechmea has noticed and he’s quick to turn the situation to his advantage. he shakes phos’ hand, he’ll grant them freedom just like phos will grant the lunarians’ freedom. he’ll forgive phos for failing, for their sins, for the bottomless despair and guilt that phos has been living with for centuries. salvation, hope, that is all phos needs.

as @rinboz pointed out, phos’ gold in ch 82 takes the shape of a lotus seed pod, a direct reference to when antarc was abducted and the gold had turned into a lotus flower.

through pain, phos had blossomed into a new character that day, marking the beginning of their long journey toward truth and toward discovering that there is no truth. the day the story changed from a coming of age manga to something much, much more intricate.

phos’ pod is empty, they have nothing left to lose, it’s a dead flower. this is the end of the journey that started with antarc’s abduction. when phos wakes up again, it will probably be with new memories and a new addition to their body, possibly red diamond.

phos’ self destruction has reached its apex because it finally became so intense to extend outwards, to other people that, in their immense grief, phos wants to bring down with them. this might be a minuscule form of progress: anger is better than repressing emotions at least, but phos’ problems are far from being solved.

6. on the future

what will be of phos then? it really depends.

the fact that they’re finally showing all that sufferance and those emotions they tried so hard to repress is good, but aechmea is still there to take advantage of it.

phos will never be free as long as they dont associate themselves with someone that truly loves them and as long as they cant find someone that can help them deal with their emotions. aechmea is just using them and only ichikawa knows what he meant when he told barbata to be careful with those 200 years emotions.

theoretically, phos was unconscious during the timelapse, but if there are emotions to treat carefully maybe they weren’t? maybe the change we’ve seen in phos this chapter depends on what they had to endure during that time. or maybe aechmea simply wants to make sure that his pet is easy to use.

i do believe we’re close to the end. i dont know if it will be the end of the series or just the end of phos as we know them. i could hope for something good to finally happen to them and for them to heal, but it would take a therapist or someone that loves phos.

maybe euclase could side up with sensei, they seemed the most concerned about phos’ status and the most prone to believe them. maybe goshe and cicada could do something again, maybe rutile will fix padpa once more and padpa will talk with the earth gems (not very likely, but im throwing theories left and right at this point), or maybe barbata will refuse to follow aechmea’s instructions, at least in part, and try to help phos.

as always, im afraid we’ll have to wait. in the meantime, please hug phos. if you read up to this point hug phos. hug them now and shower them with love, because no one else will

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #phosphophyllite #meta #best

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stemmmm · 4 years

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im gonna bitch and whine over the ending of hades not being the fake ending i constructed in my mind that was only able to exist because i wasn’t able to beat a run fast enough that i wouldnt have had time to fantasize about it thereby meaning i did this to myself 100% but im still fussy about it

so spoilers spoilers spoilers under the cut for sgg hades, don’t read if you haven’t beaten at least 1 run, blah blah blah also kinda sorta incest/rape tw bc thats greek mythology babey

to start off, i DO wanna give HUUUUGE props to the fact that this wasnt just another shitty story about how persephone loves hades actually yadda yadda. from the first second of the game it wasnt that and the first cutscene cements it so clearly that no, persephone HATED this shit hole and she got her ass out! good for her! love that for her, i really do. thank you supergiant for acknowledging she was in a shit situation that she wasn’t happy with, i love you always

so anyways im not surprised by what we did get with persephone, in hindsight it totally tracks that she just left because she was miserable and it had nothing to do with zag bc she thought he was fucking dead bc those assholes lied to her about it, which is a very Hades thing to do to be fair. but the thing that disappointed me was how she was so happy to see her son alive

because see, i was really hoping she fucking hated him actually.

not in a “get the hell out of my house” way necessarily, mind you. but at least in a “hey im not your mom and never wanted to be and you are representative of the worst thing that ever happened to me” kind of way.

because let’s be completely clear here. and i’ve only beaten the one run, i don’t know the exact canon sgg is playing with in all of this, but going by the canon that is actual fucking greek myth, zagreus is a rape baby. or would be if there was solid canon about zag but based on the single look at a wiki i did, he’s pretty debated... but the point is persephone was kidnapped and raped, and by her fucking uncle no less?? woobify that shit all you want and try to twist it into her wanting it actually, but at its core the myth of persephone is and always has been about her being kidnapped, tricked into being held captive, and raped.

and i understand writing her as being in a situation where everything sucked but she was gonna have this baby who she would’ve loved and she lost and that’s so sad and all that, but in general like, women who are raped don’t love the children who result from that lol. children who were unwanted are more often than not unloved and there are statistics to prove that. yet for some reason SO MUCH of media pins women down as being just bonkers mad in love with any baby they come in contact with especially if they gave birth to it, no matter how fucked up the circumstances were. and it disappoints me so much that this situation fell down that same pit.

it would have been so unbelievably cool to have this whole game build up to be something where he’s trying so hard to find his mom, and when he finally gets there she says no, i’m not that, I never wanted to be that, and that’s nothing to do with you so im sorry you had to be involved in this. but I can’t help you like that, I can’t be your mother and I won’t be. if you want to hang out here, that’s fine, because I know where you came from and fuck that place, but just don’t try to make me into someone i’m not.

but no. women always have to be mothers, whether or not they got a choice in it. and god forbid they get to act like they didn’t want to be one

it was definitely a lot to ask for, a very big subversive thing that i built up in my head that never made any sense to be what we would actually get, but I am... disappointed that it’s not what we got to see all the same

#m.txt #sgg hades #spoilers spoilers spoilers #hades spoilers #so much spoilers

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telehxhtrash · 4 years

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predictions for hxh

•pairo’s head was in tserriednich’s jar

•kurapika never meets Tserriednich or the PT on the boat

•kurapika has to choose between revenge/his past and woble/his future

•maybe gatekeepers of DC are linked to Kurtas- that's how kurapika ends up going to DC

•illumi dies on the boat or solves his problem with killua on DC

•queen oito dies

•i cry about tserriednich because togashi found a way to make me empathize with him

•no one wins the succession war - something happens and it stops

•black whale sinks : the only way to survive is to reach lvl 1 (which is the boat)

• 95% of the boat dies and its somehow linked to succession war

•woble is entrusted to Kurapika who vows to take care of her

•Kurapika finds out he has roots in the DC : either Kurta clan is still alive and he now has a new home OR they’re not : he makes an alliance with Ging (archeologist) to restore the site with nen and spends the rest of his life protecting his culture’s legacy

•Kurapika’s emperor time nen pledge gets cancelled with death and rebirth

• Woble’s nen beast revives Kurapika after his death

•killugon reunion right after succession arc - but NO REUNION CHAPTER - we see them reunited and now we focus on their healing

•killua explains that he left not because he was mad but because he didnt want gon to get hurt in killua’s business with illumi (but now that he’s dead he can come back)

•gon explains he didnt realize how much he wanted to stay with killua until they parted - then they reaffirm their want to stick together

•nanika ended up bearing all the consequences for killua’s direct orders onto her shoulder, and that includes the wish of healing gon (maybe she felt like it wasn’t fair to make killua pay the price to heal), thus she’s hurting herself to satisfy killua

•killua finds out about gotoh. it directly parallels and contrasts kite’s death

•Gyro ends up on DC

•kite, knuckle & shoot end up on the DC too

•gon gets a nen beast that stems from his ancestor don freecs

• or gon never gets his nen back proving that he’s over that constant need to get stronger and stronger

•open HAPPY ending on DC, (like netero said, their mission was to explore DC and return with HOPE) - they all chill on DC or something

•DC is the last arc and arc where everyone is involved (killugon+leopika)

• Kurapika hits rock bottom during succession war - then second part of DC arc focuses on kurapika, killua and gon’s healing, putting them in situations where they showcase their growth and how differently they handle things

•killugon becomes canon

•leopika becomes canon

•ging pregnancy rock was real (im convinced by this theory and i hate it)

•killua/gon’s dynamic reversal : killua’s the one with the goals and gon follows, happy to be wherever he is

•melody’s dark sonata parts are on DC, but she does NOT regain her original appearance

•killua breaks the cycle of gon being abandoned and stays by his side

not predictions but what i wish would happen

•knuckle and shoot tag along for the DC expedition

•maybe killua tags along for morel’s boat ride to the DC + gon tags along too cuz might be nen related stuff?

•at killugon reunion, gon explains that he had a lot of time to reflect and that he doesn’t want to stay away from killua ever again, that he wants to stay with him forever even though its selfish : killua was the “something more important than the hunt”

•fugetsu and kacho ended up foiling gon and killua’s separation (gon/fugetsu feels sad about it // killua/kacho was only acting tough and cold to keep the other safe)

• gon and killua end up as the boar and the rat of the zodiacs(or are offered the position)

• killua finally has goals : stuff he wants to see, stuff he wants to do for himself

• killua and gon are on the boat ? i feel like itd be possible cuz killua would go for nanika - and gon would have wanted to tag along/or hunted killua : thatd explain why illumi is on the boat when he should seemingly be out chasing nanika

-> or since morel takes care of the trip from NC to DC, maybe they tagged along on morel’s boat

cuz HONESTLY theres no way killua and gon would be missing for the entirety of DC arc especially with nanika’s ties to DC

•I'd love it if killua called gon his light to his face and if gon told killua that he was his best detour pls mr togashi 🥺

•confirmation of the hc that gon fell for killua first

• sharnalk being a kurta ?? idfk he looks like kurapika. im also probably very wrong. but itd be interesting.

• trans pika

• leorio’s character trait of being thirsty for women written to emphasize that he fell in love with a MAN

•this is my brain on crack but I'd love for gon and killua to end up adopting a child to symbolize both of them breaking a cycle and them completely cutting their ties to their past - by emphasizing Killua being able to have a good, normal life and prove how different he is from his family and by Gon being a good and loving dad and prove how different he is from Ging

• leorio and pika burying pairo’s head together - pika telling him he found the doctor he was looking for

(im only making this post so i can have something to come back to and see if i was right by the time the manga finishes in like 20 years + ill probably add some more as time goes on!)

#predictions

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buckysmischief · 4 years

Text

Spaces Between - 1/?

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: The Snap took everything from you, who knew Loki would be the one to put back all your pieces?

Warnings: thanos doesn’t kill loki, everything else is cannon with IW & Endgame (im sorry), language, fluff, angst

AN: Tessa is an oc, readers best friend

FTS Masterlist | Series Masterlist

☄︎

Spring 2018, 5 minutes later

“Yn, wake the fuck up!” Tessa panicked, pouring cold water on your face. You sat straight up, wishing she’d have just slapped you instead.

“How many times have I asked you not to do that?” you grumble, wiping the water off your face. “How long was I out this time?”

“About five minutes, where did you go?”

You passed out for two minutes the first time you teleported from your apartment to California, but once you got used to traveling greater distances your body got used to it. Space though? It was surprising you woke up before the day was over.

“Uh.. I’m not exactly sure. Loki got me there, I just brought us back. Oh shit! Thor and Hulk, I gotta go get them!”

Before you could get up and attempt to travel back to space, Loki was at your side. “The bifrost opened while you were out, but we do need to find the Avengers. Thanos is coming and as much as I hate to admit it, I think it would be best if we worked together.”

“That big purple guy? What’s his deal?” you ask.

Loki explained everything to you and Tessa. The stones and what Thanos plans to do with them, even what Thanos has already done throughout the galaxy. You then explained to him what happened to the Avengers in Berlin, but reaching out would still be a better option.

“Do you know where we could find them, can you jump there?” you’re not an expert on Loki by any means, but you’re positive you can hear panic in his voice.

“Yeah, let me get some things together really quick and we can go.” grabbing Tessa and pulling her into your room.

There was too much going on. Not even an hour ago you were on a run in the park and now you had to help prevent half of the galaxy from dying? What were you even supposed to do? It’s not like you’ve had any training, just what you’ve picked up on your own.

“Tess, I need you to stay here. Call out of work if you have to but please.. don’t leave the apartment.” you were throwing clothes into a bag, not even realizing you were panicking until Smokey rubbed against your leg. You didn’t even want a cat, but Tessa insisted. And she was right, Smokey was basically your emotional support cat at this point.

“I will, Yn. But you gotta go save the world. I love you!” She gives you a hug and pushes you to Loki. “And you, keep her safe.”

Loki nods, “I give you my word, no one will lay a finger on her.”

Later that day, after Thanos

After leaving your apartment with Loki, you ended up arriving at the compound the same time as Captain America and a few others. No one was happy to see Loki, but once Bruce Banner told them what had happened (and that Thor thought he had died), everyone felt better about you two traveling to Wakanda with them.

The battle was unlike anything you’ve ever seen, worse than the battle of New York. When everything was said and done, there were bodies and blood - and dust - everywhere. But Loki kept his word. You had a few cuts and bruises, sure, but you were alive. The same couldn’t be said about half of the world, or anywhere else for that matter, though.

You were still on the battlefield with Loki, neither one of you were there when Thanos showed up. When he noticed you watching soul after soul disappear, he suggested you go back home to check on Tessa and Smokey.

“I’m afraid they won’t be there.” you finally look up at him, tears falling down your face. “They’re the only family I have left, what if they aren’t there?”

“I’ll go with you, you don’t have to do this on your own, little one.” He wrapped his arms around you and waited until you were ready to leave.

When you jumped to your apartment, you landed on the outside of your door, too afraid to open it. “It’s probably best to just get it over with..”

“I know, I know,” you turned the knob, immediately hearing The Office playing in the living room. You grab Loki’s hand and push the door open, venturing further into the apartment.

It wasn’t an act of affection he was used to, and his first reaction was to jerk away. But then he felt you squeeze his hand for comfort. He felt his heart swell, silently vowing to always protect you from this moment on, feeling great pride knowing you saw him as your protector.

You walk through the kitchen and yell out for Tessa, even shaking Shadow's favorite toy, but you didn’t hear anything. Loki helped you check the bathroom, her bedroom, your bedroom. Still, nothing. You had been saving the obvious option for last, hoping, praying that your worst fears weren’t coming true.

As you walked into the living room you didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but then you looked to the spot on the couch where Tess and Smokey sit and just see a pile of ash. Loki saw the look of your face and was standing ready to catch you any way you fell. But you just stood there.

Numb.

The only person in this world who really knew you was gone. A victim to a war she had nothing to do with and yet she’s gone, not knowing what the hell was happening. It wasn’t fair. You failed to stop Thanos and yet here you were, alive. But all of these innocent, good people that had no fight in this war were just gone.

“I.. I need to get away from here.” you whisper. “I’m gonna pack, you don't have to come-”

“Nonsense, of course I’m coming.” he interrupted. “I told you you didn’t have to do this on your own and I meant that.”

You went to your room and packed all of the clothes that you could, and all the other essentials. After grabbing your bag you stopped at Tessa’s room and opened the door, working yourself up to go in. “What do you need in here?”

“Tessa’s blanket,” you sigh, “it was mine but she just loved it so much I kinda just let her have it. I can’t leave it here.” Standing up, you fold the small blanket and hold it in your arms.

You both leave the apartment and discuss ideas about where you could lay low for a bit, until you know it’s safe. Loki had been the one to remember the bunkers Rhodey was talking about the day before. When Tony Stark remodeled the Compound he added some bunkers, because apparently, you have to be prepared for everything.

Instead of jumping there, you decided you needed a walk. You needed to process everything that happened and maybe walking for a couple of hours would help, but by the time you found a bunker your thoughts were still a mess.

When you looked around to see what all you had, you noticed there was plenty of food and toiletries, even a tv and radio. There was even a small kitchen and bathroom, but there was only one bed which might make things a little awkward. “It’s not as tech’ed as I imagined, but this will work.”

“Agreed. I’m going to take a shower and get some rest, I feel like you should do the same.” He was genuinely concerned about your mental state, and you knew he was right. “Okay, I’ll make us something to eat while you shower.”

While Loki was in the shower, you could only think about two things. 1) Tessa and Smokey, and 2) the sleeping arrangement. You hardly knew the man, but he’s done nothing but make you feel safe. And you didn’t know if it was losing Tessa, going through all that you had with him today, or a combination of both, but you wanted to keep him close.. you just didn’t know how to ask.

As you heard the water in the bathroom cut off dinner was ready, just regular spaghetti, nothing special. It was one of the few things that didn’t require much effort to make. Shout out to whoever's idea it was to add a spice rack, though. It was obvious to you that Loki had never had anything like it, but he was kind enough to give it a try.

“So,” he stands up from the table, putting his dishes in the sink, “I can sleep on the couch if you’d like.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, that couch is way too short for you. We can.. we can share the bed, if that’s fine with you” you suggested.

“I’d like that.” was all he said before he left you alone to take a shower.

☄︎

Permanent tags: @sociallyeneptbarnes @rogvewitch @saturn-aka-six @stuckonjbbarnes @superavengerpotterstar @estillion14 @sleepingspacedragon @geeksareunique @infj-slytherclaw @imsoft-barnes @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @murdermornings @distractedgemini @screaming-fridge @readeity @aestheticrelated @my-drowning-in-time @valkyriesryde @sebbbystaaan @disaffectedbarnes @buggy-blogs @hey-its-grey @pinknerdpanda @brokenthelovely @sandyclaws @death-unbecomes-you @rhymesmenagerie @actualdpshuri @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @mushyjellybeans @https-bucky @also-fangirlinsweden @goalexis123 @missmeganrachel @sunflowersandcherry @miraclesoflove @matsumama

#loki x reader #loki odison x reader #enhanced reader #angst #fluff #marvel #mcu fanfic #spaces between #fortune teller series

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chocojjk · 5 years

Text

Heaven Knows

summary: im not even gonna try, yall know im bad at summaries

words: 2.7k

a/n: this forreal took me 6 hours i think im burning out ,, also guess what?? its not edited

you were chilling in your best friends dorm room without him being there, which is honestly just a normal thing

jisung was out with his friends which means he wouldn't be back for a while

apparently they needed to talk to him about something important

“an intervention, they said,” jisung says chuckling

“What would you need an intervention for??”

“I honestly have no clue”

which left you here, all alone, completely bored out of your mind

laying there in his bed scanning his room for something to do when something shiny on top of his desk caught your eye

with the amount of times you've been here before, you have never seen this object

and so your curiosity got the best of you

you walked over and saw that it was a CD, written on it were the words “for you” and a badly drawn heart, the messy handwriting clearly belonging to your best friend

you chuckle at this

you never knew jisung could be this cheesy

turning on his computer, his screensaver, which was a picture of the two of you, lit up the room

you see, you and jisung have been childhood best friends

your parents were best friends which just means that you guys saw each other all the time

but dont get me wrong, they never forced your guys’ friendhsip

the two of you just got along

growing up, you would always be by his side and him yours

you didnt trust anyone as much as you trusted jisung

inputting in the CD, his honey-like voice started filling the air

“hey, its jisung, haha, of course you know that since ive already given this to you”

you let out small chuckle, clearly enjoying how worked up your best friend sounded

you cant help but feel guilty for invading his personal space

but c’mon, it was you and jisung

personal space is a myth when it comes to the both of you

and so you continued to listen

“umm, ive been meaning to tell you this for a while but could never find the words to do so , so uh,, i-i made you a CD with all the songs that makes me think of you”

‘how cute’ you thought to yourself, ignoring the rising jealousy that you were feeling in the pit of your stomach

wait what??

pshh, youre not jealous

why would you be jealous??? he’s just your best friend

‘im just disappointed that he didnt trust me with this,’ you told yourself

yup, thats all, just clear and utter disappointment

jealousy? we dont know her

plus, you had a very loving boyfriend

“ok so this first song is just how i feel whenever we’re together, this is better together by jack johnson”

and as the song filled your ears, you can't help but imagine that this CD was for you

keyword: imagine

jisung has made it very clear that he only saw you as his best friend, heck, maybe even as his sister

you think back to the day where you joked around of a possibility of the two of you

“ji, what if one day you become my boyfriend”

“hahaha y/n, that’s a weird joke”

“why is that so weird??”

“uhm because were just best friends” he replies, stating the obvious

and ever since then you have pushed the thought of you guys as a couple in the back of your head

never allowing your feelings to surface for the boy

your thoughts were interrupted when you heard your best friends sweet voice again

“ok remember when your first boyfriend broke your heart? well this song pretty much sums up how i felt the whole time, and every other time you get in a relationship.”

“I could treat you so much better than them, you know?”

“why can't you see that??? haha,, anyways this is Better by Gabe Bondoc”

damn, whoever this girl was got jisung whipped as fuck

you started wondering who she was and how come jisung never told you about her before

was she part of your friend group? did you know her?

whoever she was, you hoped that she’d wake up soon and realize what a catch your best friend is and that she would have to be the dumbest person alive to not love him back

“okay uhm, were halfway in this playlist now. sometimes i feel like you feel this way too, but i don't know, maybe i'm just being delusional. this is Friends by Ed Sheeran”

okay so clue number 1, this girl is definitely good friends with jisung

what the fuck han jisung

who is she

“if they find out would it all go wrong and heaven knows no one wants it to,”

you dont know why or what happened, but when you heard that line of the song, you cant help but release all the bottled up feelings that youve been hiding

yes, you were in love with your best friend

yes, you got into relationships as a way to get over him

no, it never works

because every time you were left with a broken heart, he was there to piece it all back together

he was there wiping your tears, holding you, singing you cheesy love songs

he was there with his bad jokes that always brings a smile on your face, making you happy, making you whole again

jisung was always there, and you cant escape him

and now as you listen to a playlist not made for you, your heart begins to break

surely if this was for you, he would have given it to you a long time ago

just the mere thought of jisung caring for another girl besides you hurt your heart

you decided that it was time to stop

you scolded yourself for even listening to it in the first place

and so you took the CD out, and put it back where it belong

a couple minutes later, jisung enters his room, seeing your figure seated in front of his computer, your head rested on your hands as your shoulders shook slightly, a sign that you were crying

“hey, are you okay?” he says grabbing your hands, making you look straight into his eyes

“shh it’s okay, im here,” he continues, pulling you into a warm hug

and you can't help but be mad

why the fuck was he being so sweet to you when he’s in love with someone else

han jisung, this is not fair, not fair at all

and then you realized that you were doing the same exact thing

you pushed him away from you, which caused him to stumble back, hitting the desk behind him

“I-i have to go”

“y/n??”

running out of the room, jisung tried to chase after you however,,

“Woah woah woah why are you in such a hurry?”

chan and minho

“I-uh y/n just ran out and i-”

“y/n again?, jisung didnt we just talk about how you should see her less,” minho exclaims

“Yeah, this really isnt healthy for you jisung, you really should stop pining over this girl,” chan continued

“guys, shes my best friend!”

“Ok and she obviously doesnt wanna talk to you if she ran away, dont force yourself in places where you dont belong or youll just get hurt in the end,” the older guys continued

“I-”

“were just looking out for you jisung,” chan finishes

and so with his head drooped down, he made his way back into his room

and then he noticed it,,

the CD

‘fuck fuck fuck’

A million thoughts were racing through jisungs head

he was sure that you've heard it, why else would you react that way when you saw him

god, he should've never made that CD in the first place

was he that much of a coward that he couldnt just tell you he was in love with you in person

and now you know and obviously dont feel the same

‘Great going jisung, you just ruined your relationship with your best friend’

---

its been 3 days and there hasnt been any contact within the both of you

you ended up breaking up with your 4 month long boyfriend

“Its because of jisung huh?”

“i…,”

you racked your brain for a different excuse but then decided to come clean, this boy has always been so sweet to you, the least you could do is be honest with him

“how’d you know?”

“I see the way you look at him y/n, its like youre looking at millions of stars, i always hope you’d learn to look at me that way”

“are you mad?”

he gives you a sad smile, “no.. not at you, i always knew this would happen”

“im really sorry hyunjin”

“Its okay, i wish you and jisung all the happiness in the world”

“thank you,” you reply even though you knew that it wasnt going to happen since he liked someone else

meanwhile, jisung has locked himself up in his room

he was ashamed of himself for making that playlist

his friends have been asking him to hang out yet all he can do is mope around listening to the stupid songs that he has added and cringing at how dumb his voice recordings sounded

he missed you so much but he was so scared to reach out to you

3 days might not seem like a long time, but with you and jisung, 3 days felt like a whole year

Im not saying that you guys are always glued together, no, thats not the case

But you guys would always text each other

Sending each other memes throughout the day

But now the both of you was just left with silence

It really allowed you both to think

he figured you hated him and never wanted to see him again

So he never expected you to knock on his door

“chan, go away, just leave me here to cry”

“errmm, its not chan”

,,,

jisungs eyes nearly popped out of his sockets as soon as he heard your voice

and in one quick second he was scrambling to open his door

“you were crying???”

“no”

“whats wrong?”

“nothing, im glad youre here”

“umm, why wouldn't i be?”

“I-i just thought that after the other day, you wouldnt-”

“about that” you say, quickly cutting him off

*gulps*

“can we talk?”

“arent we doing that right now?” jisung jokes but as soon as he saw the nervous expression on your face, he shut his mouth and let you in , closing the door behind him

‘oh god, shes gonna tell me that she never wants to see me ever again’

“im sorry-”

“I didnt mean it-”

“what?”

the both of you having confused expressions written on your faces

“You first,” you say

Jisung nervously scratches the back of his head, refusing to meet your gaze

“the - the cd, i,, i didnt mean it” he says but the way he slightly bit his lip afterwards was a clear indication that he was lying

did he forget that he was your best friend? there was really no point in lying to you

however, you just chose to ride along with his little lie

“oh, well then i guess that makes what im about to say easier”

accepting the fact that you were about to break his heart, he nods at you, urging you to go on

“Jisung, im in love with you”

“its okay that you don't like me back, we can still be best friends -- wait...what?” jisung replies quickly, ending his prepared speech

You looked at him, stunned at his sudden confession

“You're in love with me?”

“You like me ??”

damn both of you guys are so dumb i sWEAr

“Well,,,, yeah,,,, didnt you listen to the CD? I literally say your name in it”

(⊙ˍ⊙)

(⊙＿⊙)

(@[]@!!)

“WHEN???”

“After the last song,” he says, like it was the most obvious thing on earth

“I-” you make yourself over to his desk, looking for the CD

as soon as you found it, you plopped it into his computer

“really y/n???? Youre gonna listen to it right in front of me as if i havent been embarrassed enough” he says with a pout

“jisung shuT UP”

you fast forward to the part where you left off of

“this next song is called Wait for You,, im sure you know this song as we always sing to it toegether, but yeahh ill always be here waiting for the day to come when you finally notice me”

The song begins to play yet you fast forward even more in rapid search of your name

“and, well this brings us to the last song,, god, i really hope you dont hate me right now, if you haven’t guessed by now, im in love with you. I dont know when it started or how it happened, maybe ive been in love with you ever since we were three, i don't know okay. But yeah,,, i fell in love with my best friend, god this is so cliche, but y/n l/n i love you”

you were shocked,,,

but at the same time, you felt like you can finally breathe

he loves you back

Han Jisung fucking loves you back

god reader, if you just stayed and listened until the very end, maybe this au wont be so long my brain cells are disappearing writing this

jisung wasn't making an effort to say something, not even to joke around

he was just sitting on his bed behind you, waiting for you to do something,, anything

we all know by now that he aint going to be the one to make the first move

the last song playing was the only thing that could be heard in the room

until,, you finally turned to face him, wearing the biggest smile on your face

you tackled him unto the bed

“oof”

“you're so annoying,,” you say, hitting him

at this point he has his arms around you as you were sprawled out across his body

“I love you too,” you confess, looking straight in his eyes

jisung doesn't know where he got his newly found courage

But he wasnt complaining as he reached out to your face, finally connecting his lips upon yours

“Ive been wanting to do that for so long”

“Why didnt you?”

“Well, you had a- dklfjasfkasjf,,,,, wait,,,,,, you have a boyfriend???”

And now were back to frantic jisung

“dont worry ji, i broke up with him,” you say a small smile on your lips

“wait, you broke up with him???

are you dumb????

He has like the prettiest face???

And like the nicest lips??

And hes so tall and he can dance so well!!”

“Jisung, if i didnt know any better, i would think you have a crush on him”

“shut up, im just saying,, that man is pReTTY”

“yeah youre right, he has everything i want in a man, maybe i should call him again, tell him i was just kidding about the break up” jisung pouts at this

“uhm, im sorry but you have a boyfriend now so you cant do that”

“oh really?”

“yep”

“who is he ??”

“y/nnn,,” jisung whines

“what?”

“will you be my girlfriend???”

“as long as you make me more CD’s” you say teasingly

“oh shut up”

1 year later

you and jisung are still going as strong as ever, and it was great

it was like you guys were always meant to be together, your relationship being the perfect balance of best friends and lovers

as you were cleaning out your bedroom, you spotted the CD, still looking as shiny as ever, in between a couple of your books, and you cant help but smile at the memory

you were so lost in your thoughts that you didnt notice your boyfriend enter your room

“babe whats that?”

“oh nothing, just a certain CD that this overly romantic boy made me,”

“oh god, youre never gonna let that go huh”

“I just didnt know you could be THIS cheesy, like you really were symping over me” you say

the CD became an inside joke between the two of you,,,

you would always tease jisung about how cliche it was

“I still cant believe you didnt listen until the end, like what kind of dumbass just starts a playlist and doesnt even listen to the whole thing”

“hey!, youre the one in love with me, so guess whos the bigger dumbass”

a/n: oops another one but the last song is called Best Friend by Jason Chen hehe

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18silverwolf · 4 years

Text

Jeremy Gilbert Imagines: Imagine 3: when you die after giving birth pt 3 to imagine 1 and 2

(For some reason some of the gifs will not load UGH FRUSTRATED)

today is the day that you are going into labour to give birth to your gorgeous baby boy whose name is Braxton but short version is Brax. Jeremy chose the name which i agreed on. I Hope Brax looks like his father and becomes like his father. I know Jeremy will be there for him and i no matter what and i know Jeremy will always protect Brax.

"Elena My water just broke you need to call Jeremy" i said Grabbing my bags and my car keys "Caroline call Jeremy, Y/N hand me your car keys i'll drive" we all left the house and went to the hospital. We were half way there when i felt this sharp pain in my stomach.

"UHH" I said grabbing my stomach i looked down and saw blood "Elena somethings wrong" i said she looked at me to see the blood. she started to drive faster. "Jeremy its Y/N shes going into labour" Caroline said frantically through the phone "Jeremy just meet us at the hospital we are already on our way there" She said "Ok Bye" "y/n, jeremy, matt and Stefan are going to meet us there" She said i just nodded.

As we were walking into the hospital Elena screamed "SOMEBODY HELP US" nurses and doctors put me on a bed and took me into a room. "Elena" I said as i cried the doctors let Elena come with me she grabbed my hand "Elena Promise me that no matter what happens if i dont make it tell Jeremy that i love him and tell him to look after our child please Elena" I said as tears ran down my face. "I will I promise" Elena said as tears ran down her face.

"I'm going to see if Jeremy is here yet?" She said leaving i nodded. Suddenly Jeremy was by my side "Jeremy promise me something?" I asked he looked down at me with one of his hands in my hair and the other squeezing my hand "Anything" he replied "No matter what happens if something goes wrong, please chose Braxton promise me Jeremy that you will Chose Braxton and that you will always protect him" I said as the tears fell down my face.

"I promise but i cant loose you Y/N, how am i meant to raise our son alone, your the only one who can teach Braxton to be brave, kind, caring and loving, Y/N don't leave me, dont leave our child behind, I need you Braxton needs you please" Jeremy Cried.

The doctors got Braxton out and i smiled they handed me my baby boy "you did it Y/N" Jeremy smiled as tears left his face. Jeremy kissed me, i kissed back knowing that this was going to be the last kiss i ever feel.

Suddenly i hear the doctors yelling in the background all that i can hear is Jeremy telling me to stay awake. As i felt the doctors take my baby away from my hands.

Everything went black.

Jeremy's POv:

y/n's eyes started to close after i kissed her, I cant loose her. I screamed at the doctors "DO SOMETHING i cant loose my wife" one of the nurses took my son and pushed me out of the room while the doctors worked on saving the only girl i thought i would never loose.

I waited for the doctors to come out. after what felt like hours a nurse who was holding my son placed him in my arms and a doctor put his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes as he said "Im so sorry, we tried to save her" I felt my world crashing down around me i got up and quickly ran towards everyone else i handed my baby to Matt and hugged my sister. she held me so tight. "Stefan can.you.turn her?" I asked through sobs.

"Jeremy even if i could do you really think she would want to be a vampire?" "I dont care i need her by my side Braxton needs his mother" I screamed at him Elena just held me closer to her. "I will do it?" we heard a voice it was Damon's "I'll turn her if thats what you really want Jeremy?" Damon asked me "ITs what we want" I said as i looked down and Matt handed my baby boy back in my arms.

Damon nodded and used his vampire speed to her room. I hope she will forgive me for getting Damon to turn her. We sat in the waiting room when Damon was back in front of us. "WE need to go to the boarding house its where Y/N is, if people saw that she came back alive after being pronounced dead things will go bad" Damon said

"Elena Take Brax in your car, Damon I'm coming with you" i said Damon grabbed me and the next thing i knew we were inside of the house, "Shes up in my room for now, Jeremy be careful" Damon warned i just nodded.

I slowly walked up to see her sitting in bed looking at herself in the mirror. "Y/N?" I asked as i walked into the room. she looked at me tears running down her face "Why?.... Jeremy why did you get Damon to turn me?" She asked as tears ran down her face. "Because i didnt want our son to never meet his mother, I couldn't live without you" I said as i touched her cheek.

"Right but as you and our son grow old and i never age, i have to watch you guys die and you think thats fair, Jeremy do you think i could live with out you too? because you just turned me into a vampire and i will have to watch you die as i never age" she said looking at me i pulled her into hug me.

i decided that i was being self-fish "Then turn me, that way we can be together for ever" i said she looked at me "its what i want, I want to be with you forever" I said as i cupped her face in my hands and kissed her.

Just than we heard our baby boys cries "Jeremy we cant turn Braxton not yet" she said as she looked at me " I know" i said as i kissed her forehead.

we walked down Elena ran towards Y/N with Braxton in her arms. Elena and Y/N hugged. I could tell Elena was worried that Y/N may hurt Brax so she was hesitant to hand him to her until I said "Elena give Brax to y/n she hasn't held him yet" I said calmly as i watched Elena hand Brax over. Brax smiled up at Y/N he knew as soon as she started to coo him. everyone smiled.

This was a happy every ending for my small family. And i know that for the rest of Braxton's life he will have a family that will always protect him no matter what.

The end.

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koi-sims-spoops · 5 years

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[Fantastical Tales of Spoops Episode 1: BBQ of DEATH]

So a few days after the pool party, Corrin and Loki decided to have a barbecue for the folks that couldn’t make it to the big day. The guests had arrived, Corrin had just got home from work, and everything was going well according to plan. That was...until guests started dropping dead left, right, and center. No one had any idea what was going on and seriously thought it was a joke until... The Grim Reaper showed up.

Grim: ‘Sup.

Apparently, the sight of the Reaper sent everyone into a shock of fear and sadness and like...two more people died. Seriously. It was Deathday 3000 at the Laine place.

Corrin was making drinks at the time but...He just...had...in the span of five minutes he had seen more than he’d ever bargained to see. Ever. E V E R.

This is the face of a man who has officially seen some next level shit.

Several sim hours [and many visits to MCCC later], the barbecue was back to normal. Like. Seriously. Everyone is eating and drinking and chatting like death didn’t just clean everyone’s collective clock.

Loki, though the power of love and friendship [yup], had brought all his friends and family back from the dead! NICE ONE!

Alvin: Thanks for the undeath, son.

Loki: I got you, fam.

Loki: What was dying like?

Alvin: Cold, and dark, and feeling like I pee’d my pants.

Loki: No, that last one really happened.

Alvin: ...Oh.

Needless to say, The Grim Reaper was NOT happy. He took out his supernatural frustration on the trashcan because for real for real, he wasn’t gonna have any luck messing with sentient beings [in this storyline].

Pummeling the trashcan wasn’t enough however, so he turned his attention to Loki and though there was no face to speak of, that raised thin, bony finger and indignant posture said plenty.

Grim: How DARE you! Who do you think you are! I should reap you all and take you straight to Hell were you belong, you insufferable-

Tristan: Hey Trevor! We gotta get a post-death-undeath selfie!

Trevor: Hell yeah man! Put that on SG! Caption that: “Just cheated death, what have you done today?”

Tristan: Ooo, I like that! Aangeeeee! *click*

Grim: ......... *sigh* Why? Why would you do this? Do you KNOW how much paperwork I’m going to have now? MOUNTAINS. MOUNTAINS OF PAPERWORK thanks to you! I work HARD at what I do, you know. You think this is easy, reaping souls? I run all over the maps, sometimes have to be in literally hundreds of places at once. And it doesn’t stop there. I have to CULL the spirits that just-wont-LEAVE. And THAT’S not easy either, but at least I get the satisfaction of a job well done at the end of the day. And now you’ve done this. You’ve ruined EVERYTHING.

Grim: I hate you.

Loki: Come oooooooon, Grim, don’t be like that! In all fairness, you crashed my barbecue!

Grim: ...

Loki: You clearly won’t be gettin a wink of sleep tonight, hang out for a bit!

Grim: I do not sleep.

Loki: Good! Now you don’t have an excuse to leave!

After much coaxing, The Grim Reaper decided to stay and chat and even accepted an autograph once he found out Loki was famous.

Grim: Thank you. I am still going to reap you when the time comes.

Loki: Aaaahahaha...fat chance, man~. *winks at Sim God* [Oh you~]

Meanwhile, Brant has yet to come down from this traumatic event and just remained standing catatonic on the picnic table. I mean...he did see his brother die, so I get it but...everyone is okay, Brant.

Everyone is okay.

**********

Exhausted from the day, after getting Brant to finally get off the table and go home, Corrin and Loki retired to their beds, though Corrin said very little for the rest of the night. Whether or not he too was in shock, or just amazed that he is probably the first goth (no relation to the Willow Creek Goths) ever to have actually met death while still alive was anyone’s guess. Probably a little of column A, little of column B.

Death decided to chalk today up as a learning experience and just let it go. Sure the paperwork would be hell, but he could do with the break from reaping, and having to deal with Mike, his insufferable reaping intern who’d been shadowing him for weeks. Luckily, Mike was out sick today. Grim didn’t need this spreading around the office faster than was necessary.

As a final act of charity, he took out Corrin and Loki’s trash, neatly depositing it into the bin that could still stand upright.

Grim: ...One day. One day, I’ll get ‘im. But I think I can let him go on for a while longer.

Grim: He’s a cheeky bastard but dammit...he’s got charisma. Could use a man like him around the office. Maybe I’ll put in a good word. Who knows.

Grim: ....I’m watching you, Loki Laine.

***************************************

Author’s Notes:

I just wanna say that...I did not set ANY of that up. Like...no pose packs, no MCCC (until I revived everyone) and The Grim Reaper was LEGIT ANGRY. I’m not lyin, I swear. That has to have been the CRAZIEST thing I’ve ever seen in my save games. My favorite part is definitely where Tristan and Trevor took that selfie in the background. I was WEEPING. TOTALLY AUTONOMOUS.

I’m not even sure how and why anyone died to begin with! I do have theories though. Trevor, Alvin, and Tristan were angry when they came back as ghosts, and Jun was sad. So I think that Trevor, being the butthole he is, was being REALLY mean to Jun and Jun died from sadness. Alvin and Tristan got SO MAD at Trevor that they died, too. From there, everyone else just died of sadness from their deaths.

Airrin, the dark elf in the fedora, was the only sim I managed to bring back legally, and trust, I tried with ALL OF THEM before I resorted to cheating. I just couldn’t let them die yet. It wasn’t anyone’s time.

So sayth thy Sim God.

#sims 4 #sims 4 story #fantastical tales of spoops #the adventures of corrin and loki #MCCC #non canon #modded #loki and corrin

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canadiankazz · 5 years

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The Fourth Time - An L.A. by Night fanfic

Jasper and Annabelle's relationship has taken a lot of intimate steps lately, but when she lets him take the reins, so to speak, and let his more dominant side out, they manage to find a way to get even more pleasure out of it.

SPOILERS for the end of Campaign 1 including the one-shots. This has gone off canon, so consider this an AU. It's worth reading Part 1 (The First Time), Part 2 (The Second Time) and Part 3 (The Third Time) before you read this. This fic takes place almost directly after The Third Time. This was written before the premiere of Season 2, Episode 2.

I lay no claim to owning any of the characters involved. Things are gonna get more kinky than they have been in this series so far from here on out. We are way past tame wrist biting now. We’re getting into some mild BDSM stuff in this part.

As always, special thanks to @cravatfiend for the support and encouragement during the writing of the drafts. When I asked them for a safe word, they picked the best one for Annabelle. I had the privilege of watching them read this for the first time and all they could say was "...Damn!" High praise, indeed.

All my love, also, to @gokaiyellow for their additional input, @fluffy-wookiees for being adorable, and to everyone else who has enjoyed this series so far. There are many more parts to come after this one, no worries. (As of posting, I’m currently finishing writing part 8 with ideas for part 9!)

Also posted to the author's Ao3.

First posted Feb, 2, 2019.

The Entire ‘Feeds From’ Master List Can be Found Here

The Fourth Time

Annabelle was having a nightmare. She was running for her life through a dark sewer. Her shoes splashed through the filth. Rats squeaked and scattered in a panic as she charged forwards. Behind her, she could hear a dreadful snarling echoing through the tunnel. She couldn’t see the monster chasing her, but she could hear it. Its hungry growling was getting closer and closer. When, not if, but when it caught her, it was going to rip her apart and eat her alive. Her eyes scanned the walls and curved ceiling frantically for a ladder or escape hatch up to the streets above. There! A ladder appeared to her right. She climbed it as fast as she could, but right when she was about to push up through the manhole cover, she felt sharp claws grab her leg and pull her back down. She screamed.

Annabelle woke with a shudder. Her Beast strained in her chest and throat. The room she was in was dark. There were no windows. She was on her side facing a blank wall. She could feel someone else's body pressed against her back and a long arm curved cosily around her side and stomach that was not her own. There was no breath or body heat coming from the person behind her.

Then she remembered. She was in Jasper's sanctum again. In his bed, again. And he had fed on her last night, again. And now...

She tried to turn her head to look at him without disturbing him. His arm tightened around her a little.

“Jasper?” she whispered.

“Mm.”

He was awake. Annabelle relaxed a little and went back to looking at the wall. He seemed comfortable where he was and so was she, to her mild surprise. Their relationship had taken many great leaps these past few months.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey,” he mumbled into her hair.

“Sleep well?”

“Like the dead.”

She rolled her eyes and poked his arm. “Ha. Ha.”

She heard him snarl softly in her ear as he smiled.

“You need a bigger bed,” she told him.

“Why?”

“Because we only barely fit on it.”

“I thought that this was only going to be a temporary thing,” he said, sounding amused. “Something to tie me over for a little while.”

“Well, clearly... it's not,” Annabelle said softly.

“We can't keep doing this forever,” he told her. His voice was gentle, but firm. “The others are going to find out, and... it's not a healthy relationship.”

Annabelle frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

“What I mean is that...” he sighed, thinking of what to say. She felt him roll back slightly away from her. “It's one sided.”

“No... you feed from me sometimes and let me sleep in your bed sometimes, that's fair.”

“But you don't have to sleep here.”

“You don't have to feed from me either, but here we are,” Annabelle said pointedly. She sighed and touched his hand. “I don't want to argue with you. I... I am happy for this to continue as long as you want. I don't feel like it's one sided, Jasper. I thought you liked it... Liked me.”

“I do,” he admitted softly, “but that’s the problem. I think I’m liking it too much and... that scares me.”

Annabelle thought she understood now. He had told her that a Kindred feeding from another was a big deal and she got why now. Blood was more than just food for them, it was life, and sharing your life with someone else left a big impact. So too did someone forcibly taking it away. He had been trying to adjust to this new, kinder type of feeding and despite the fact that they had only done it three or four times in the past few months, maybe things were still, on an emotional level, going a little too fast for him. Annabelle awkwardly shifted, rolling over to face him. His hoodie was down. From what little light there was in the bedroom, she could see his pale, gaunt face. “It’s okay,” she said. “Don’t let it scare you. I think I get it though. We’ve been kind of going at my pace a little bit.”

Jasper remained quiet, but gave a slight nod. He could see she was more or less on the right track. He felt it in his blood.

“Okay,” Annabelle sighed slowly. “Do you want some emotional space?”

“I think so. To think things over.”

Annabelle nodded and stroked his arm. Her Vitae has done a good job healing him. “Okay,” she said. She didn’t want to make Jasper uncomfortable in this relationship. “How about this... if you want to do this again, you call me, okay? And we’ll do it however you want to.”

“Okay,” Jasper said. He lent forward a little and his forehead touched Annabelle’s for a brief, tender moment. “Thank you,” he whispered. Then he rolled over and got out of bed.

Annabelle stayed where she was, not wanting to get up yet. “You still owe me a boon, remember?”

“Mm. True.”

“And I've thought about what I want from you. If anything happens to me, anything really bad, I want you to take care of Mark and Elleanore for me.”

“What do you mean by 'take care of?'” he asked.

“Watch out for them. Make sure they don't get attacked, I guess? Just keep them safe, as best you can.” Her hand found her golden locket around her neck and held it.

Jasper considered this briefly and decided that it wasn't unreasonable. It was certainly less embarrassing than teaching X how to moonwalk. “Alright,” he nodded.

“Thank you,” Annabelle said tenderly.

Then Jasper stretched his long limbs. Annabelle could her his joints crack and pop. She sat up and sighed. She was hungry. She needed to go.

She packed up her laptop and the little plastic candles she had brought the night before. Jasper helped to collect them. “Will I see you again later?” She asked hopefully.

Jasper shrugged. “At some point, yes. I want to explore my labyrinth this week, and I know the others will be tracking down those other Kindred who attacked us the other night. We should help with that.”

Annabelle nodded. She was angry that her group had been attacked and she hadn't been there to help. At least she could help in the aftermath. She dreaded to think what would have become of Jasper if she hadn't gotten to him when she did. “Yeah.”

An invisible Jasper walked Annabelle to Griffith College, then they parted ways. They both had a lot to do.

Jasper kept himself busy over the next few weeks. He explored his labyrinth. He visited Eva. He received and carried out more jobs for Baron Abrams. All the while, Annabelle's movements and moods were in the back of his mind. The longer he went without feeding on her, the weaker his bond with her became. Part of him missed that. He found himself delaying finding another more permanent solution to his empty larder. He knew that eventually he would have to go back to his more aggressive feeding style, but he also knew he would miss having someone give him their honest and thoughtful consent. It made him feel a tiny bit less like a monster.

That got him thinking. Despite himself, he started to formulate a plan, purely hypothetical, of how his next feeding session with Annabelle could go. She had asked him to come back to her when he was ready to initiate things again and had said that they could do things his way if they wanted to. He had genuinely appreciated that. There was something dominant about him that was asking to be satisfied. Every time it came down to the act of feeding in the past, Jasper had been violent and dominant. Until Annabelle came along and offered herself to him, that is. That had changed things. Jasper had become what was for him, very submissive. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it wasn't what he wanted to be doing all the time, every time.

He was curious, also, about how far he could push Annabelle's boundaries. She was the one who always wanted more and he had been holding back. He knew very well what he was physically capable of and what his Beast demanded of him. The thought of challenging Annabelle, daring her to keep up with him intrigued him. By the time Jasper finished planning the night he had in mind, he knew that he might regret it forever if he didn't try it. The worst that would happen was Annabelle would say no. He might be a little disappointed, but that was nothing new. He waited another few nights, then decided to set his plan in motion.

Annabelle was on her way home when she thought she heard something behind her. She paused, straining her senses, searching for something unseen. At first, there was nothing, then she heard Jasper’s disembodied voice in her ear. “Hey.”

She jumped. “God...!”

“No, just me.” Jasper sounded highly amused.

“Jasper, what are you doing?” She hissed, annoyed at being startled like that.

“I was going to ask you...” he started, then hesitated, possibly reconsidering his words. “Would like to come over tomorrow night for another round?”

Annabelle felt a ghost of a touch on her neck and shoulder, right where he had bitten her last time. She shivered and something deep in her core twisted in the memory of pleasure. “Uhhh... sure,” she said faintly. Her mouth was dry and she swallowed. “Can I ask why? I thought you might not want to any more.”

“I’d been thinking,” Jasper said in her ear with a light snarl, “that there are a few things I would like to try with a consenting individual such as yourself, and I don’t know when I will get the chance to do them again. I would be a fool to not ask.” He put special emphasis on the word ‘consenting.’ His voice was soft and sensual, unusually so, but it was undercut with a thirst that Annabelle recognised.

“Okay, um... how about I come over tomorrow and we’ll talk about it and... see where we go from there,” she said.

“Alright. Come by 3:00,” Jasper replied, “and bring those little plastic candles. And yes... you may sleep over as well.”

Annabelle nodded. “See you then.”

“Oh, one last thing...” she felt Jasper’s lips on her ear and she shivered again, despite herself. “In the meantime, can you think of a safe word, please?”

Annabelle’s eyes went very wide. What on earth could he be planning that would need a safe word? “Uh...” she stammered.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course. Well, I have to, for us to do this, right?”

“We don’t have to do this,” he reminded her.

“I know, but... I want to.” Annabelle swallowed nervously and steadied her nerves. “Okay. I’ll think of something.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow.”

She didn’t hear him leave, but she hadn’t heard him approach either. She stood there in mild shock for another little while with her hands over her mouth and cheeks. She cursed herself for being as excited as she was. This was going to be very, very interesting. She hurried the rest of the way home.

When Annabelle arrived once again at Jasper's sanctum the next night, she had her bag with her with the plastic candles and her laptop in it. She had fed earlier, as much as she could without killing any one. She was almost beside herself with nervous excitement. Part of her thought that she should be more apprehensive, that she should let someone know where she was just in case things went bad. But she trusted Jasper. He had been very good to her so far, very good indeed, and he didn't seem to want to ruin this relationship they had going. She trusted the control he had over himself. She still believed that, over-all, he wasn't a bad guy.

She knocked on his front door. Jasper answered it quickly. He had been waiting for her in the passage way on the other side again. He was wearing a different black hoodie this night. This one had fewer layers and just a straight zipper up and down. It was casual. Easy to get into and out of. Interesting.

They smiled at each other and Jasper invited her in. She followed him closely back down the long passage way, though she was sure by now she had the route memorised. They caught up with a little small talk. As they got closer to his rooms, Annabelle could hear faint music. It was classical, something with an orchestra and a choir. They weren't singing in English... Latin, maybe? Annabelle wasn't as knowledgeable on her classical pieces. “You're playing music?” She asked, pleased and surprised.

“Yeah, to set a mood.” Jasper smirked at her. She recognised her own line that she had used on him last time she was here.

“Oh, I see,” she chuckled. “What is it?”

“Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor.” Jasper licked his fangs. “Tell me... have you learned Blush of Life yet?”

“Um... yeah. Yes, I have.” Annabelle had used it very successfully around Elleanore. It gave her a pulse, warmed her skin, let her breathe and otherwise seem almost entirely human again. Annabelle tilted her head a little at Jasper, slowly working out what he had planned. “Why?”

His grin was sharp. “I would like you to use it tonight.”

“Oh... yeah, sure. Right now?”

“If you'd like, or we can wait until we get to the bedroom.”

“I'll wait,” she decided. So far, she liked where this was going.

In the bedroom, they set up her candles on the floor as they did last time. The room was soon full of artificial, warm candlelight. The classical music continued in the background, unobtrusive.

“Did you decide on a safe word?” Jasper inquired.

“Yeah. Um... are you familiar with the stoplight method?”

He considered it. “Red, yellow, green?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. It's basic, but effective.”

Jasper nodded. “Alright. We're going to use that tonight. Unless I hear you say 'yellow' or 'red,' I'm going to assume that everything is green.”

“No gags, then, please,” Annabelle specified.

“No,” Jasper agreed. That had never been a part of his plan for tonight.

Annabelle kept glancing at his fangs while he spoke. She couldn’t help it. His eyes had a hungry and excited gleam. She suspected that he and his Beast were working in near harmony tonight. Well, they had their safe word in place. Everything would be okay. She was feeling brave and keen to see how far Jasper was going to push things tonight.

When she was ready, Annabelle nodded and slipped off her red jacket, as was their custom by now. She had worn the good bra again. Jasper recognised the shape of it under her thin tank top. He snarled a little when he smiled.

“On the bed, please,” he gestured to the bed. Annabelle complied, her lips twitching into a little smile. She sat on the bed, then lay back. As she did so, she activated Blush of Life. Her Beast stirred a little, but was still mostly dormant. She glanced at Jasper. He was staring at her with an expression of incredible desire. He came over to her and sat on the bed. He held her hand and seemed to marvel for a few seconds at its warmth. Annabelle's body fell back into the natural rhythm of breathing. Jasper felt her pulse in her wrist. His fingers were very cold by comparison, and felt very dead. He snarled to himself, pleased.

“I don't have Blush of Life,” he explained softly. “I never bothered to learn how to do it. I mean... why would I? Who am I going to try to convince that I'm alive?”

“You still could learn,” Annabelle said. She could think of at least one person he might have used Blush of Life on, if he could, but bringing up that person was very likely going to ruin the mood, so she didn't.

He shook his head. “I could, but it's doubtful.” He seemed to be enjoying just feeling her hands for a moment. The classical music swelled and faded into a new piece of a similar feel to the last, but a faster tempo.

Jasper moved suddenly. With little warning, he was on top of Annabelle, straddling her hips. He had one knee pressed on either side of her ribs. He wasn't very heavy, especially not for a Brujah's strength to support. Annabelle's insides quivered in anticipation. She felt vulnerable, but she remembered all she had to do was say one or two words and he would stop. She understood finally what he had been planning. Jasper looked down at Annabelle, his icy eyes boring into hers. Her heartbeat sped up considerably. Her face flushed. She met his gaze, excited but steady. The degree to which she wanted this to continue bewildered her.

Slowly now, he peeled his hood off his head. Then his hands went to the zipper in the front of his hoodie and he slowly began to tug it down. Annabelle's eyes went wide as Jasper's chest was exposed. He was built of nothing but lean muscle. His flesh was as pale as death save for the starkly contrasting mass of black veins that criss-crossed his body like an insane roadway map. He had no body hair. He unzipped the hoodie down to the bottom, but didn't take it all the way off. This was a compromise, she realised. She had wanted to see what he looked like under his layers for a while, and he had always said no. This was an in-between he was allowing her.

She gave him a warm smile, but when she reached to touch him he stopped her. He gripped one hand in each of his and leaned down over her. He pinned her warm hands and wrists down with his deathly cold hands to the mattress above her head. He continued to watch her, as if daring her to say 'yellow' or 'red.' She didn't. His grip on her was strong. Their faces were close now. Annabelle was breathing hard.

Jasper bared his fangs and growled at her, as if trying to scare her. He was the monster from myth and legend, the deadly black shadow with razor sharp fangs who stalked helpless people at night and she was the young, naive victim. He was perhaps even trying to provoke her one last time into saying their safe word. She did look scared for a moment. There was fear in her eyes, in her Beast, but still she didn’t say either of the words that would make Jasper pull back. A true victim, she was no longer. Annabelle was allowing this to happen.

“Green?” he rasped, edging towards losing control.

“Green,” she nodded and tilted her head to expose her neck. Blood, warm blood, flowed there, and some of it at least, was his for the taking.

The music swelled again in the background as the choir reached a melodramatic crescendo. With a hungry snarl Jasper bit Annabelle hard in the throat. She gasped at the pain. Jasper had good aim. His long, wicked fangs had landed right on her jugular. He bit deep, and his mouth filled with Vitae. She was as sweet, strong and aroused as always, but this time her blood was body temperature. Jasper had never had warm Vitae from another Kindred before. His Beast exalted. He began to drink greedily, keeping an ear open for Annabelle wanting to end this early. He hoped she would not.

The pleasure of the Kiss soon followed, radiating out over Annabelle's body and making her moan. Her eyes rolled back in her skull. She flexed her arms against Jasper, but he still held her down, firmly pinning her to the mattress. Her body, still under the influence of Blush of Life, reacted as it normally would have to intense pleasure. Her heart hammered in her chest. Her pulse raced, sending vital blood into Jasper's hungry mouth. Her brain was very soon dizzy, but she didn't care. Her Beast scrambled, but was soundly ignored in the overwhelming wave of sensations. Annabelle didn't know if it was because of this new, intense situation or the anticipation that had led up to it, but the pleasure this time was near orgasmic. When she felt Jasper bite a little harder in his enthusiasm, it crossed that threshold and she crested with a cry. Annabelle's body trembled uncontrollably underneath Jasper's from her core outwards.

Jasper lingered on Annabelle's throat for a moment or two longer, then pulled his head back with a snarl. His fangs and tongue were painted a deep crimson. Annabelle only barely noticed this. She shivered when he licked her wound closed and he thought he heard her whimper. His Beast whispered at him to continue, that this had been the best he ever had, but he clenched his jaw and ignored it.

Jasper sat up and let her hands go. She didn't move them. She lay there still, breathing hard, eyes closed. Each exhale had a little moan attached to it. He watched her chest heave up and down for a minute. The music faded and changed again to a soprano singing backed by strings and a piano.

Annabelle opened her eyes and saw Jasper watching her. He was still straddling her hips. She smiled up at him. “Wow,” she mumbled. She lowered her hands and rested them on his knees on either side of her body. Jasper didn’t mind. He chuckled at her reaction. “I... mm...” Words were failing her as her blood-deprived brain swam in a haze of endorphins.

“Good?” Jasper confirmed.

Annabelle still couldn’t speak, but she nodded.

Jasper slid carefully off of her and sat on the bed next to her. He hadn't taken a lot of Vitae this time, but what he had taken was potent indeed. His head was also filled with endorphins, mainly from her, but he didn't have the Blush of Life to let his body do anything about it.

“I can't believe you let me do that,” he chuckled softly. He re-zipped up his hoodie, but only part way. He left the top third or so of it open. “I thought for sure you were going to stop me when I pinned you down.”

Annabelle stretched and smiled at him. Other than an internal scolding from her Beast, she was content, still reeling slightly from the pleasures she had been through. “But I didn't.”

Jasper relaxed down next to her on the narrow bed as best he could. He found himself playing a little with her long, black hair. Their bond had deepened again, he knew. At that moment, in that place, he did not care. “You liked it... rather a lot,” he remarked, still amused. His fangs, when Annabelle saw them, were clean now.

“Yeah...” Annabelle marvelled. She covered her face with her hands as embarrassment washed over her. The pleasure this time had been too, too much. “Oh my God!” he heard her muffled giggle.

“What?” Jasper inquired, though he was fully aware of what had happened to her body and why. He was having fun.

Annabelle peeked at him through her fingers. She was grinning. “Is that what you had planned?” she demanded.

“More or less, yes. I'm glad it worked.”

Annabelle groaned softly. “Did you know about... that I would...”

Jasper smirked. “I kind of suspected... but no, but it was a pleasant surprise.” He stroked a cold, pale hand down her arm to her chest, where it settled over her still-beating heart.

“Boy, I'll say,” Annabelle agreed.

Feeling Annabelle's magically enforced heartbeat made Jasper get very quiet and suddenly a little introverted. His eyes found the gold locket hanging around Annabelle's neck and the silver ring on her finger and he pulled his hand back. He got up and went to turn off the music and the lights so that they could settle into bed.

When dawn broke over the City of Angels, the majority of the population arose to begin their day of work and school and life, but Jasper and Annabelle were once again literally dead to the world. The two vampires shared the little bed, holding each other. Where their relationship would take them now, neither of them knew, but in that moment at least, they were content.

#l.a. by night #la by night #vampire the masquerade #fanfic #fanfiction #jasper/annabelle #i think this is my favourite part so far #vampire smut #jaspabelle #jasper #annabelle #times jasper fed from annabelle

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hontou-baka · 5 years

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a post.

been awhile, hasnt it, tumblr.

i have a fair amount of followers, half of which are probably old spam and porn accounts, so i doubt anyone will read this and i doubt anyone cares. venting, self indulgence, i guess.

im not sure if im back. i hope not. not to sound condescending, but im trying to spend my time doing meaningful and purposeful stuff. tumblr is just another social media app that sucks up my time when procrastinating. but i might try to get back into art, and tumblr is maybe the best place to put that, so.... idfk.

i came back once, fleetingly, when white diamond was revealed- knowing tumblr was my best place for content and info and craving it. same goes for right now. i just finished the homestuck epilogues and needed to see others thoughts, some content, i need it for my own catharsis.

ill give my hot take on the epilogues. im sure you could already tell what my opinion is from the posts ive shared. to my relief, this seems to what the majority of others are feeling, too (based on my scrolling through the homestuck epilogue tag for a few hours). they were fucking awful. felt like an edgelord's "pain is the epitome of human emotion" fanfic. it solidified my feeling that hussie no longer cares about homestuck. no, it confirmed to me that he violently LOATHES homestuck, and perhaps even (or especially) its fanbase.

i always thought homestuck would be the most important thing to me. it was, ever since i started reading it 6 or so years ago. there will never be anything that even comes close to what homestuck was for me. it was the only thing that kept me alive through some of the hardest parts of my childhood. i made some great friends at the time because of it (not that any of them stuck around). i was planning on doing homestuck cosplays for the rest of my cosplay existence, to prove that homestuck was still my #1. i wanted to get homestuck tattoos once i was free of debt!

but the ending of homestuck left me bitter. imo, the fandoms bullshit and the hiveswap fuckery left no love in hussies heart for his creation. he wanted it over, and just ended it. but nobody was satisfied with that of course, including me. so i was ecstatic to hear there would be an epilogue. but as weeks, months, years went by with nothing... i began to accept that wed probably never get epilogues. id just love homestuck for what it was, be salty about the ending, and that was that.

then, they came.

reading the epilogue tags, i thought they were a joke, just as many others did. it sounded like every sensitive subject that could ever be tagged was in there, including shit that just seemed ludicrous. but i persisted, like a fool, desperate for the sburb-logo hole on my heart to be filled.

the prologue already gave me so many red flags. my husband had hope, liked where it was going. a huge time skip, ten years we just have to accept went by. all of the characters had drifted apart so bad it was jarring. johns depression and mistakes and regret was daunting. everything felt so off.

and it only got worse. i started with candy. i was confused that thered even be the option all written out for john to stay. at first, i thought i was going to get some good ship shit. rosemary was the only good thing about candy. johnroxy started, took the fuck off, then just... it all fell apart. not a singe character consistently behaved in a way that felt like a natural progression of the characters we followed for so many years. what was the point of jane becoming trumphilter? to angstily show the duality of man? what was the point of all of the weird ass sex? it just feels like such a forced thing, like "oh, everyones grown up now! gotta fuck, and dont you dare even THINK any of it is going to be vanilla fluff and not.... anything but that...."

im not usually one to get upset over content that most find triggering, unless its real or shown in a very real way. but, for example, i honestly felt sick when dirk killed himself. i could go on about candy but it just felt like there was so much bait for a semblance of happiness, just to make it all as bad as possible.

meat was worse. hastily attempting to tie up plot points (like lord english) while also making dirk akuma homura...

also, apparently the author of family never ends had a hand in this? ive never been one for fan fiction, but for some reason i read that one, and it fucked me up. bad. i had the worst bout of depression and even suicidal thoughts for the first time in a while because of that fic. so, it feels like hussie wanted to recruit some ruthless-ass people to make something to intentionally hurt the people who demanded so much of him for a work he clearly hates now.

i... i think i dont like homestuck anymore, EXCLUSIVELY because of this. it feels like im throwing away one of the biggest parts of myself. it hurts so much, i feel so, SO betrayed. i would rather hussie have just announced he no longer had passion for homestuck, give us a shitty .txt file of a true ending (or the gist of one), and have left it there. but i guess that wouldnt have made him money now that viz bought the franchise.

i think, i will not come back to tumblr. it hurts. i had plenty of reasons for leaving, including everyone dipping out of homestuck. and i have other interests now that just dont align with the tumblr ive made and the followers i have (not like, core shit like lgbt+ rights or anything, im just really into health/fitness and particularly nutrition and i doubt my followers signed up for that plot twist). without homestuck, its even more just a painful past that haunts me here.

thanks for everything, if anyone ever even reads this. it was fun while it lasted.

-Hanna, aka hungoverterezipyrope

#i dont even remember my personal tag anymore...#the sickest thing about all of this is i will might always keep up with homestuck.#if i come back- it will be a completely new account #with no fandoms. just health and fitness and nutrition and shit like that i guess.

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dovahgarbage · 6 years

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FAR CRY 5 ENDINGS

yknow ya girl went and spoiled the ending for herself but something about how far cry 5 ended left a bad taste in my mouth

now im not one to criticize morally grey stories- oh who am i kidding, i am because its so often theyre handled poorly.

i was excited about fc5 because hey i love the aesthetic. the villain seemed interesting- plus sign me up for some crazy biblical parallels because the bible has flare and anything that quotes it sounds 87% more poetic than it actually is.

but theres something to be said, isnt there, for the only game in the series where the antagonists wins also being the only game that takes place in america and operates under a religious ideology.

again, im also not one to dog a somber ending. sometimes its justified. hell i love how breaking bad ended because it felt deserved and on level with the tone of the show. you can get really creative with a not so happy ending, especially with a flawed protagonist.

but enough foreplay- as much as i’d like to appreciate the thought behind fc5, its a bitter pill. see- there is no real way to win. joseph seed is the winner no matter the outcome.

ending 1: you submit to joseph and take your friends and leave him and his cult to continue its work. you are triggered into killing your friends and presumably die.

ending 2: you capture joseph, but a nuclear explosion destroys hope county. joseph drags your unconscious body into a bunker and handcuffs you to a bed and tells you that he was right. and now you get to wait out the apocalypse together. (esp weird connotations if you play as a female because he mentions starting over in a new world so.. make of that what you will)

ending 3: a secret ending you can unlock at the beginning of the game by flat out refusing to arrest joseph and you and your friends get to leave alive and well and no one dies. (this is the best ending you can hope for)

and look, ubisoft has said the game isnt meant to be political and u know what- i believe them. i think that the writers really just wanted to tell a story and probably were so caught up in their badass villain that they didnt realize what the moral of this story really meant- “It’s better to leave well enough alone.”

no matter how hard you resist and fight, you lose. people suffer because of your resistance and you lose. joseph at one point even blames everything on you. And the game proves him right. if you’d just left, joseph and his people would’ve been prepared for the Collapse.

and its a very .... centrist view point. if you do nothing, then no one will get hurt. but thats not how problems are solved. you cant just do nothing- for the best summation of my feelings on this, lets turn to a place you might not expect: the comment section of youtube

thank you, skytop082.

again, i think theres a lot to like about fc5. the aesthetic is one of my favorites to explore and the Seeds (ew) are fascinating villains. they are traumatized people who traumatize others in an effort to “save” them. and the game even recognizes that these are bad people. but the ending... sort of validates their actions. i guess what im saying is- you cant have your cake and eat it too, ubisoft.

joseph seed himself preaches of inaction. not very fair of you for punishing your players for helping people :///

#major far cry 5 spoilers #anyways welcome to my ted talk #i dont think the game is bad or should be all out shamed and boycotted but i think theres something to be said yknow #far cry 5 #rambles

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ariesbilly · 6 years

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hot new au:(pt 1) billy runs away from home. he knows everyone’s expecting him to go back to where he lived in california and that if neil’s trying to find him he’s going in that direction. billy never never wants to have neil find him so in a panic he decides to go east first to throw him off the scent and protect himself. thats how he ends up sitting in a diner called pops in some small ass bumfuck nowhere USA town at three in the morning, trying to stretch six dollars as far as they’ll go.

(pt2) fp’s the only one working, he’s used to the night shift and he’s used to travellers stopping for a bite but billy’s different. fp looks at him and knows he’s a runaway. he reminds him of himself at 17 too - he’s tough and scowly but right now he looks more beaten down than anything, and really hungry. fp’s trying to be kind and slip extra food onto his plate. billy’s in no hurry to leave at first because he has no plan, and fp keeps glancing over at him. he can’t stop himself.

(pt3) but the attention makes billy balk. he doesnt want anyone to remember him being here and he already hates peoples eyes on him. he can tell fp’s trying to be kind but that just twigs him out more. he pays with a handful of grimy change and drives off in the camaro fps been admiring out the front window. fp wants to say something to him so bad as he’s paying but he loses his nerve. he’s not fred. he doesnt know what to say. he gets off the night shift around four or five in the morning

(pt 4) as the suns coming up. as he’s driving home something makes him take the scenic route instead of going through town. maybe he just needs to think. nothing ever happens in riverdale so he’s shocked when he finds a car accident at the side of the road - one vehicle crumpled into a tree. then he gets close enough to see it and his heart stops because its the camaro from earlier. fp isn’t even thinking before he’s braking and running to the wreck. the cops aren’t there yet.

(pt5) maybe there was bad weather/roads or maybe billy fell asleep at the wheel but he’s crumpled in the drivers seat, unconscious. fp pulls him out. he’s bleeding but he’s alive. fp notices the only other thing in the car is a small duffel bag on the passenger seat. it has everything billy owns in it. he grabs that too. he has billy in his passenger seat when billy wakes up and fp tells him he’s taking him to the hospital. billy starts panicking and screaming at him not to take him

(pt 6) billy's begging him and trying to grab the wheel. finally fp gives in and turns the car around. billys in pain but not badly hurt. he has a lot of little injuries that aren’t the kind you get in a car accident. stuff like cigarette burns, stuff fp recognizes really well. fp doesn't know what to do but he knows fred wakes up early. calls him and tells him whats going on while billy's cowering in his passenger seat like a caged animal. fp tells billy that fred knows first aid and hes gonna

(7/7) take him there to help him. he promises that he'll help him cover this up and that no one he's hiding from is going to find him. but billy just has to trust him on this one.

JULIA !!!!!! IM FUCKING QUAKING !!!

theyre at freds and fps standing right by billys side while fred fixes him up. billys super cautious of the both of them but since he knows fp marginally better he’s a little happy fp hasnt left him alone with this other complete stranger. and once billys all patched up fred sends him to living room to watch tv and rest on the couch, asks if he wants anything to eat or drink... and once billys gone freds pulling fp aside and asking what the hell is going on, who is this kid etc and fp tells him about seeing him first at the diner and then the car crash and he thinks billys a runaway, running away from some bad shit and fred gets it, gets what fp sees but now what are they gonna do?

fps asking if billy can stay with fred. theres no room in the trailer and he cant afford to keep in a motel. plus he thinks billy needs to be watched anyway, he seems like the type to act out, do something stupid. freds reluctant. he’s got enough going on. he sympathizes with the kid but its a lot to process right now and he makes a fair point that billy might not even agree to any of this and fps saying he’ll come by to help when he’s not working and he’ll talk to billy and itll only be temporary until they figure out a longterm solution. fp really thinks he can help this kid and he wouldnt be dragging fred into it if he didnt think he could help him too. finally fred gives in and agrees but only if fp can talk billy into staying.

billy, of course, is skeptical of the whole thing. part of him thinks these are just two psychos waiting to chain him down and skin him alive or something. who the hell knows what weird shit goes down in small towns like this. but fp does his best to assure billy that he can leave whenever he wants if he doesnt like the arrangement but to at least give a try. he knows billys low on cash and isnt gonna make it much longer, fp can see about getting him a job at pops or something, maybe work for a mechanic on the south side if thats more his scene. billy cant argue that he needs cash... and having somewhere to sleep besides his car would be a nice change so he caves. says he’ll stay but as soon as shit starts getting weird he’s leaving and fp says thats fair. fred offers up his shower and some clean clothes, says billy can nap in his room if he’s tired. fred and fp stay downstairs trying to figure out a game plan for this whole thing, the three of them having no idea what the hell theyre getting themselves in to.

#briana answers things #fredheads

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stuffandsundry · 6 years

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Arc 1: The Beat Riders

Premise

Most of the early episodes don't need to change all that much, compared to later--

Ah. Shit. I forgot to address my beef with Kaito. ok gimme a sec uhh. Ok. Okokok so here we go. I'm not gonna do this for all the characters because mostly, character introductions are fffffairly okay. Some are better than others but like, they're all at least workable… except. HIM. Kaito, the most out of all the gaim characters, makes zero sense so im gonna throw EVERYTHING out and try to extrapolate something based off of backstory given from Gaiden and canon and a little bit of real riders. Hope it makes sense. So, recap of backstory: Kaito's family used to be decently middle class and he played near the shrine tree, until Yggdrasil came in and bought them out. Kaito's dad didn't really know what to do after losing his purpose in life and turns to drinking/gambling, and they rapidly lose whatever money they had gotten from the corporation, dad becomes abusive, parents kill themselves and Kaito is left at an orphanage and grows up bitter and vaguely traumatized. Gets into a lot of fights at school, is a history nerd, etc. Cool, that's workable. Extrapolation from that for this scenario (oh yeah also, I did say girl now, it's Keiko now)

Keiko rreally hates Yggdrasil. If they had never moved in, maybe her family could have stayed together.

She's always looking for something to challenge her- she saw her family "give up" early on, and she doesn't want to end up like them. Struggle as proof that she's alive? No sympathy for people who've given up fighting, in her eyes.

Related to Point 2. Believes in a fair fight. There's no use in beating down someone clearly weaker than you, and anyone who does that is a coward and a bully. And if you need to lie to someone to beat them, then that doesn’t count as an actual victory. Wants to be acknowledged as the best by her own power.

A lot of pride. Doesn't like accepting help or depending on others/seeming weak. Talks big but also has a lot of like. Self-worth issues, thinks that people have to be "worth" something to be allowed to live, which comes from being abandoned by family so young.

Listen I know that this is a Very Standard anime rival lone wolf archetype but it didn't get to be a standard because it /Didn't/ Work, also I got really attached to Keiko halfway through typing this just let me have this please, I rarely if ever see it applied to girls,

Actually, the soccer episode also gave me the idea that Keiko would be the type of person that just. Rolls with things, no matter how vaguely ludicrous they are. Re: canon soccer episode. What are you gonna do when you get punched in the gut, sending you to an alternate dimension where the city wasn't destroyed and everyone uses the power of the drivers to play soccer? Clearly, become the best damn armored soccer player ever. That's such a funny trait I'm keeping it. It would be such a good source of deadpan comedy. Example: in high school Keiko was a delinquent who got into fights, how did she end up captain of a dance team? Nobody knows. (Most likely: somebody tried to insult her by saying that she couldn't dance for shit and she decided that the best way to rise to this challenge was to… take over a dance team and make them teach her.) Simultaneously zero chill and weirdly chill. Chill about all the wrong things.

Okay, back to plot. Only minor changes for the first 14 episodes, which I'm collecting into an arc--

Instead of Micchy becoming Ryugen, I wanna say that Micchy shows the rest of the Beat Riders the driver he got from Sid ahead of time and Mai sees her chance and asks him to give it to her. Because on one hand, Mai's grateful that Kouta's staying behind because Yuuya's gone missing and Mai isn't sure that she can handle being the final word of authority in Gaim, but on the other, Mai's kinda annoyed that Kouta stayed behind because it's like he doesn't trust her to be able to protect the team. Just because she's doubting herself doesn't mean that he should! She wants to stand on equal level with Kouta, so the driver. Micchy does give Mai the driver, because he cares a lot about Mai. However, subconsciously or not, he was looking forwards to being the one of the people that the team relied on, so a seed of resentment is also planted here. This colors his decisions in favor of keeping things secret from the rest of the team moving forwards as well.

Within the team, Mai and Micchy more-or-less switch roles, except that Micchy is also finding out a lot of Yggdrasil's-- and his sister's-- secrets in the meantime, so he's still extremely relevant. This way, there's a character arc set up for both Mai and Micchy-- Mai needs to learn that Gaim will follow her (like they did when Yuuya was around) not for her fighting ability or anything, but because she cared about people and wanted to make them happy. Mai realizes that she didn't need to change in order to become a strong leader, because she was already a strong leader and she just needed to trust in herself. On the other hand, Micchy's going to eventually realize that staying quiet about things that upset him is actively working to make his life worse because his friends and family aren't mind readers and they can't tell if they did something to upset him if he doesn't verbalize it. And if his friends and family really, truly care about him, then they'd be upset at THEMSELVES about hurting him, not at him. His secretive martyrdom is a ticking time bomb for everyone.

Ah yeah, one plot change I have to mention here: Keiko doesn't want the other teams to be her vassals because what's the fucking point, Team Baron is the best anyways. (That entire thing was a little. Hm. Idk how much sense it made, man. And it only lasted like two episodes so there was no point to it except to show that Kaito was an asshole even???) So in this 'verse, the reason that she gives Hase and Jo more powerful lockseeds in the first place is because. Gaim is the only real challenger to Baron, which means that theres only one person that she can fight meaningfully and that’s boring as shit. Raid Wild and Invitto still want to fight, they're just lacking the means. The only real surprise is that they come after her with drivers, which she didn't know they had. She has mixed feelings about the sneak attack. On one hand, maybe Hase and Jo are stronger than she thought they were! On the other, those motherfucking SNAKES,

Oh wow I just realized that having Keiko instead of Kaito makes that scene where Mai goes into the forest alone and Baron finds her… really gay. Mai bandaging Keiko's arm and they talk about their childhoods together… Mai remembers that Keiko would always watch her dance and Keiko tells her she was too shy to go up and say hi… Mai's deal wanting to protect those that she holds dear and all that jazz, while Keiko's a cynical SOB. ( By the by, Kouta's not super concerned with Mai being in there until he remembers ah. Mai doesn't have a Lock Vehicle so she can't get out, and the white armored rider is in there, which is when he rushes in like a fool. Except he's on his own while Mai is with Keiko, so it ends up being Kouta who has to get rescued, etc, etc. a lot of early stuff goes this way tbh. Small changes, but overall plot stays same so im not gonna outline it all.)

Takako's thing is a lot more. Okay. Bear with me here. I feel she'd def be far more defensive than Takatora was, because she's got a lot more to prove, and she's pretty isolated-- again, handing out the drivers wasn't her idea, and she's not getting the respect someone else might get at her job level, it's really stressful but Takako's kept going because the people around her-- Ryumi and the other scientists-- say that this is all going to work. Enter Akira. (YEAH. YOU HEARD ME. KAZURABA AKIRA DESERVES A BIGGER ROLE FUCK YALL)

Akira works for Yggdrasil-- she used to be part of a subsidiary, but her last project just got wrapped up, and she was reassigned to Takako's division as junior project manag-- what the fuck. Oh my god?? Is THIS what Yggdrasil's doing? WAIT THAT'S HER LITTLE BROTHER, SHE RECOGNIZES THAT SUIT. If you have Akira and Takako working together I feel that a lot more is viable here, you could compare and contrast Akira's ideals and Takako's. You can def. challenge Takako's ideology that a little risk and loss now is worth the gains that studying Helheim will grant in the future. Akira can act as audience substitute, basically. She's here to yell "SUPERVISOR KURESHIMA, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, WHAT THE HELL" as takako eventually realizes that… possibly… maybe Akira has a point. She's spent so long chasing the company's bottom line she forgot things like, you know, empathy. The problem is, does she realize this too slowly to do any good? Also, what does Ryumi think about Takako's convictions wavering?

So while we're getting introduced to the main players of the Yggdrasil corporation through Akira, the Beat Rider side asks the questions: Who made these drivers, and why give them out to us? And whats with the strange forest? Which eventually leads us into the Christmas game, and the Yggdrasil base camp incident. Kouta learns considerably less than he did (seriously, how did those scientists not get suspicious) but he does learn: this forest is called Helheim, the scientists here work for yggdrasil, and that the Sengoku is the scientist in charge of this project. And then they realize that kouta isn't a yggdrasil employee and raise the alarm except oh no, that’s the moment that the inves attack and suddenly they have more to worry about. Again, minor changes. Kouta sees his sister at the Yggdrasil base but doesn't get the chance to talk to her, everything else can basically go as it did… incluuuding Hase.

Okay. Hase.

Here's how this works. His driver gets broken, okay, fine. Jo doesn't abandon him right away. Even if he's kind of an aggressive musclehead, they've still been working together for a while. But she's not enough to fight alone, and Hase can see that it's really only a matter of time before Jo's goodwill runs out. So he eats the fruit! And does not turn into a monster right away. Instead, it gives him the power that he was looking for this entire time-- he is able to fight on even level as the rest of the armored riders, even though his belt is broken, and it looks like everything is okay. With this, some of the other Beat Riders are considering eating the fruit too. Why's everyone so worried anyways? Besides, they look delicious… however, Micchy points out that Yggdrasil handles the fruits with the utmost caution, and that just because there are no visible harmful effects doesn't mean that they aren't dangerous, etc.

Kouta and Akira also sit down to have a talk about the driver over dinner one night-- they've both been kind of keeping secrets from each other. Akira tries to convince Kouta to stop using the driver because she knows that it's dangerous but isn't sure if Kouta knows that (remember, last time she saw Kouta using the driver in person was Episode 2 shenanigans) -> Kouta shows his sister that yeah, he knows that this isn't a joke, but he wants to help people like she raised him to do. Right now, they need the drivers to fight. Akira relents because he's right, but promises him that after the immediate crisis is over, they're going to have to have another talk about this. Kouta plans to bring his sister to the Gaim garage so that she can brief everyone on everything she's overheard in her the short time she's been working as Takako's assistant, but that'll have to wait until the weekend when she's free. Meanwhile, important stuff is going on in the rest of the city. Show that the beat riders have been losing their audience because of a sudden string of disappearances in Zawame (caused by ppl eating the fruits), and the police are encouraging most people to stay home. Not a lot of people are willing to go outside anymore-- they're scared, and rightfully so. Inves attacks are growing more frequent.

This is pretty frustrating for most of the Beat Riders, especially because people are telling them to break it up and just go home too. More and more Inves are showing up, too… And then some official or something shows up one day and says that until ZPD solves the mystery of the disappearances, the stages are going to be closed. And this is when Hase snaps. See, Hase has been using the belt for a while, so he's built up some immunity to the Helheim fruit's effects. (He doesn't lose it immediately like Yuuya did) But it's still not enough. He'd been acting erratically. More aggressive, recently. And today's the last straw. Hase gets into an argument with the official, it starts getting ugly, Jo steps in between them and…. Hase transforms into an Inves. People are taking pictures of it and everything-- even though the Beat Riders Hotline shuts down the live camera feed quickly, its not fast enough. And Hase goes after Jo. Kouta and Mai run over to pull him off of her and he runs off and everyones going???????

Hase holes up in a warehouse somewhere and mostly transforms back except for hand and he's terrified, he doesn't know what's going on. Jo finds him first and yells at him HEY WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, DUDE which, while totally understandable, does nothing for Hase's stress levels. He transforms into an Inves and runs out onto the street, where the others, still searching for Hase, stumble onto him. They end up fighting near Charmant and Oren comes out to see what the fuss was all about, he ends up joining the fight. Hase's lashing out in fear and pain but also he's putting civilians at risk, so the Beat Riders are forced to fight him even though they're well-aware that they can't just like, do a murder. Meanwhile, Keiko gets cornered in Helheim by Youko and Takako, and she is captured. Takako leaves halfway into the battle because she gets word that they've tracked down a Beat Rider that became an Inves and she has to take care of it ASAP. Kouta, Mai, and Jo are still fighting Hase (and also Oren, who doesn't really know what's going on and is trying to kill the inves) without actually trying to fight Hase when Takako shows up. She tells them that that Inves is no longer human and tries to put an arrow right through him, with intent to kill. When the smoke clears…

Jo falls to her knees, because she protected Hase. In the shocked silence afterwards, Jo tells Hase to run. She doesn't know whats going on! And maybe Hase can be kind of a jerk sometimes, and really annoying, he's still her friend, and she doesn't want to see him die. Hase regains some degree of control over his transformation and he backs away, runs off. Takako tries to go after him but is blocked by Kouta, who tells them to get Jo out of there and he'll handle the white armored rider. Spoiler alert: he can't handle the white armored rider, but he bought enough time for the rest of them to get out. Kouta is taken in by Yggdrasil.

I think this is a good place to stop for now, so I'll do more later. Okay, see you around!

#gaim thoughts;

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slytherinsinspace-blog · 6 years

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I’ll haunt the shit out of you- Chapter 1.

First of all- ghosts shouldn’t have anxiety.

Of all the fucking things that could have followed him into death- it had to be an ever-impending sense of doom and discomfort? Hadn’t he already reached his doom? Was death not doom enough?

Secondly- Katsuki listened to some god-awful music.

It hadn’t entirely been his decision to haunt Katsuki- though out of all the things that had happened to him since he died he supposed this was the thing that bothered him the least. Probably because it reminded him the most of when he had been alive.

He stood- or uh; floated now he supposed- there and tried to get Katsuki’s attention and either he ignored his existence entirely or he yelled and threw things and told him to go away.

Originally, he had just intended to go back home- because what the hell else was he going to do? And he had for a little bit- but his mother had cried and cried, and he just felt so terrible.

There was no consoling her, she just wept and looked at pictures of him and no matter how hard he tried to hug her; he just couldn’t reach her and it was just torture.

He was going to stick with it though; after all he was here for a reason he supposed and he should probably figure out what that reason was. But then he went to his funeral- and let me tell you that was the weirdest experience- ever.

Staring down at yourself lifeless in a coffin- like he knew he was dead but he was really dead. Like that was his body- laying there. Dead.

That was when he realized that ghosts- fucking have anxiety.

Well maybe not all ghosts- but he did; lets correct that. Ghosts had the capacity for anxiety.

How fucked up is that?

So, there he was- having a panic attack at his own funeral. Staring down at his lifeless green mop of hair and trying to tune out his mother’s high-pitched wails when Katsuki Bakugou looked him dead in the eye.

Now; he could have been looking somewhere else- it is entirely possible.

But Izuku just could not shake the feeling that he saw him.

Saw him.

He looked away quickly and left the funeral as quickly as his legs would take him and Izuku could have just brushed it off and gone home- but it wasn’t like anyone was going to miss him If he wasn’t there to awkwardly float around in the kitchen; or attempt to possess an all might doll.

So, he followed Katsuki home.

That had been a week ago and as it turns out.

Katsuki can see ghosts- or he can see Midoriya anyway. They hadn’t really delved into the seeing other ghosts part of things.

Also, as it turns out; Katsuki did not want to be able to see ghosts.

Which would have been fine if anyone else in then entire world could fucking see him- and believe him he tried. He followed every one of his classmates around the classroom- pulling faces and yelling and nobody so much as looked up from their worksheets or glanced in his direction.

So, they were in a bit of a situation.

“you can’t ignore me forever!” he yelled, positioning himself between Katsuki and his homework.

The boy huffed putting his eyes anywhere but on Izuku and continuing to work.

“I know you can see me” he added taking the liberty to wiggle around a bit on top of Kacchan’s desk.

Still no eye contact.

Of course, not because when had Kacchan ever made anything easy.

Midoriya huffed.

Of all the people in the world that could see him; and he had to get stuck with this surly asshole who won’t even acknowledge his existence. It was stupid. He wished his mother could see him; or Iida they would at least talk to him. They wouldn’t make him feel like maybe he was crazy- maybe he was just a crazy ghost yelling at a teenage boy who couldn’t hear him at all.

He wished-

He wished he wasn’t fucking dead is what he wished.

But that option was long gone so he settled for wishing that Katsuki would just fucking answer him for once. Because he knew- he knew he had to be able to see him.

He caught him staring- when he though he wasn’t looking.

At spots that would just be blank wall- but never the same spot. Spots that only made sense to stare at because Izuku was there.

He caught him whispering things- under his breath.

Soft reassurances that he was fine- that it was the grief talking. That he wasn’t crazy.

Caught him snickering when he had all but flown through Minatas’s head- still half worried he would get stuck in the stupid grape juice balls the dumb kid had attached to him.

But after all this he still hadn’t believed a single word out of Izuku’s mouth and it was driving him mad.

He flung himself across the room, as dramatically as you can when you don’t really have legs- or arms; or body mass at all.

Just a vague outline of where those used to be.

He had been trying and nothing was getting through to this kid and he was about at his wits end.

He didn’t know what to do anymore- what do you do when you’re dead? You’re supposed to pass on- do something but he was stuck here.

He was stuck here, and he didn’t know how to get back and he didn’t know how to cross over, and he was just- stuck.

With this asshole- and his stupid rap goes country- bullshit CDs that Izuku could hardy understand, and it just made him so angry he could explode- he tried to slam his fist into the cd player willing it with all his might to just die.

He surprised himself when the contact his hand made was solid and the cd player crashed onto the floor.

“what the fuck?” Katsuki yelled “what are you doing you stupid nerd?”

“you can see me!” he had yelled back relishing the fact that he finally got Katsuki to speak to him; even if that hadn’t been the original intent; but hey he wasn’t going to complain.

“of course, I can fucking see you!” he hissed back- “you’re here all the fucking time and I can’t manage to get you to go away! You’re in my room, and following me to class, and hovering over me when I try to do my classwork I can’t even threaten to kill you because you’re supposed to already be dead!”

Katsuki sounded angry but his face betrayed him- it was pale, his normally firm unwavering stance was slightly off kilter and his breathing was uneven.

He was scared.

Izuku had scared him.

He didn’t know if he should feel bad, or laugh.

“you could have at least acknowledged I exist.” Izuku huffed.

“yeah and let everyone think I’m insane? No thank you?” Kacchan brushed him off.

Midoriya thought about it for a moment- deciding that it was fair; at least partially that Kacchan was ignoring him after all they didn’t really want Heroes that talked to their ex classmates long after they were buried. That was just on the wrong side of crazy.

But when they were here- when they were alone and nobody else was around. Well he didn’t see why he had to float around aimlessly when Kacchan could see him. Could talk to him even.

“you could just talk to me when we’re here.” He suggested- and Kacchan’s face twisted in annoyance Midoriya rushed to elaborate before he could say no. “because you’re the only one who knows I exist- and I think If I don’t talk to someone soon I’m going to explode.”

Kacchan said nothing.

But he didn’t look away from him either and Izuku couldn’t help but think that this was a point they wouldn’t come back from and he honestly didn’t know if he was happy about it or not.

“fine.” He finally muttered. “but you have to relax a little at school- you’re really distracting im going to fall behind.”

Izuku considered it a minute and then nodded. It seemed like a fair trade- he would get someone to talk to and all he had to do was be a little less distracting in class. That couldn’t be too hard.

“deal.” He replied- and he felt- happy.

He wasn’t sure what he expected would happen when he died; but he was sure it wasn’t this. He didn’t expect to be floating around as a ghost- he didn’t expect to still feel things so vividly. Like he was still- alive. Everything in life had not prepared him for this and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was somehow doing everything wrong

Because leave it to Izuku Midoriya to not even be able to die properly. Honestly- he could have messed it all up because he didn’t quite remember what happened to begin with.

One minute he was walking down the street; and he heard someone screaming for help- and he rushed down the ally to find a woman drenched in her own blood held against a wall by -someone that he couldn’t quite place. He remembers fighting- vaguely; and he remembers it being harder and harder to breath and then he remembers blacknes.

Dark. And cold- and then nothing.

The next thing he remembers is staring down at himself in a hospital bed- wires hooked up to him everywhere; beeping, and screaming and crying and so many doctors clamoring to fix it.

But- it couldn’t be fixed.

He had struggled for a little while- to figure out what was going on. Because his mother was weeping and begging him to come back and he couldn’t because he was right here.

And she just couldn’t see him, couldn’t hear him.

He would have screamed his throat raw if he could have- because he just wanted to be there. To help her.

Some fucking hero he was.

but this was his life now; or his death- he supposed.

He didn’t really know what to call it because it felt like he was sill living. He still laughed, and cried, and had panic attacks. He still wanted to learn- he still wanted to live.

It didn’t feel, final like death was supposed to feel.

And he still had Kacchan-

He didn’t know if it made it better or worse.

Because sometimes it made him forget that he was- you know.

And sometimes- sometimes that was good and other times it was terrible because he let himself forget and for a minute everything was the same.

He was still pushing himself into spaces that Kacchan didn’t want him in- still making terrible jokes and assessing everything around him. Kacchan was still calling him a stupid nerd- but was asking his opinion a little bit more; because after all he was there when he was training. Watching- so it would have been stupid not to.

And for a little while it would be beautiful- and then he would remember.

Or- he would stop pretending.

And he would realize that nothing was the same at all.

That he wasn’t a student anymore- even though he sat through the classes in the back of the room- and he wasn’t a son because his mother had lost her son and he was just a-

He was just a ghost.

Of a person who used to be a person but was now just-

He didn’t fucking know.

And that’s when it would always hit him.

The panic-

The overwhelming fear that he had no idea what he was doing- or where he was going and he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do because ghosts aren’t supposed to be real. And he wasn’t supposed to be one and he just didn’t know how to stop- being.

The worst part about panic attacks when you’re a ghost- is that you cant breathe to calm yourself down. You just have to let it happen- and remind yourself through the haze of emotions coursing through your non corporeal frame that- the worst that could possibly happen to you.

Has already happened.

And you just have to hope it will go away.

Or at least that’s all he had figured out so far.

Except this time it just wasn’t really working- which was fine; great even because why the hell would he need to be doing anything else other than trying to breathe air into lungs that don’t exist.

And this time was worse- because Kacchan had to walk in right in the thick of it and if Midoroya wasn’t already dead he would have wished he was.

“what’s wrong?” Katsuki asked sounding almost concerned- and Midoriya should have seemed more surprised- but he wasn’t really. Because you don’t spend every waking second with someone and not grow at least a little bit attached to them

Even if you hated them before.

But he couldn’t speak.

He couldn’t find words.

And he just- floated there. Probably looking like a dead fish.

And Katsuki looked confused- and worried.

Midoriya wanted to help him but he was wrapped up in his own panic- wrapped in this preassure- tight and unrelenting and he was fucking drowning in it and he couldn’t come up for air no matter how hard he tried.

“breathe.” Kacchan reminded him.

And wasn’t that just rich.

He laughed- sharp and mocking and a little too full of spite for his liking but there Is something about dying that puts a bit of a damper on ones overwhelming optimism and he coudnt help but be a little jaded.

“I cant fucking breathe” he retorted- still laughing like maybe he had gone mad- he felt a little like he had gone mad because one second everything was crashing around him and the next everything was still crashing but he was laughing and- maybe this is what madness felt like. “im dead.” He finally finished after a good bout of laughter.

Katsuki was staring at him- like he was crazy.

Which was fair- because what teenage boy needs a fucking crazy anxiety ridden ghost of his ex classmate in his bedroom.

But then he was laughing too.

And they were both laughing- and Kacchan’s face had this way of just glowing when he laughed- he almost forgot what that looked like but here they were- and he was fucking laughing- and nothing was okay; and he was dead for gods sakes but- for a minute, it felt like it was all going to turn out alright.

#katsuki bakugou #katsuki x izuku #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #slytherinsinspace #deku midoriya #ghost midoriya #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3

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andromedahawking · 6 years

Text

NaNoWriMo, Day 1

1,667 words, done! Take a looksie if you’d like. (Warning: this is unedited, first-draft quality writing. Don’t expect AO3-level stuff here.)

Today was Tuesday, and that meant one of three things was going to happen:

Maria was going to have a very bad time, because American History would be devoted purely to working on the group project due at the end of the term, and she would have to do all the work, again.

Maria was going to have a normal bad time, because History would be divided between lecture and the project.

Maria was going to have a good time, because History would be 100% lecture, and the group project would wait until Thursday.

Needless to say, she really really hoped that possibility #3 was going to come through for her today.

She walked onto campus at 9, still bleary-eyed from the night before. She sworn she was going to stop getting so drunk, what happened? It was amazing how quickly she'd ditched that resolution.

“Yo, Taylor, wait up!”

She looked back. There was Adrien. “How’s it going today?”

“Awful,” she groaned. “You remember how I said last night was going to be nice and quiet and I’d go to bed early?”

“Yeah. Didn’t go very well?”

“No, it didn’t…”

He smiled crookedly. “That’s always how it goes, isn’t it? You say it, but then when it’s time to do it, it all just sorta falls apart.”

“Pretty much,” she said. “I ended up getting absolutely smashed and fell asleep at the kitchen table.”

“Oof. That sounds rough.”

“It was fun up until about 2, then I tanked, hard.”

“Well, at least you had fun?”

“I guess.” She opened the door to the History building. “I at least got my stuff for today done before I started knocking back shots.”

“That’s good,” he said. “I know Monaca’s gonna be doing stuff that we won’t understand if we didn’t do it.”

“Does that mean there’s no group project stuff today?”

He made an uncertain noise in his throat. “Mayyybe. Maybe not. I dunno. It’s gonna be something, but I don’t know what exactly.”

“It’s gonna be ‘something’? That’s specific. Very specific.”

He smacked her arm playfully. “Don’t knock me for not knowing. It’s not like she’ll follow the syllabus to the letter.”

“If she does, today is gonna suck.”

“I hear you, sister.”

They entered the classroom. The seats were empty, but Monaca was there at her desk, feet up, book in one hand, bottle of Snapple in the other. “Mornin’,” she greeted, not looking up from the book. “How was your weekend?”

“Saturday was okay, Sunday and Monday… ick," Maria said, sitting down. “I’ve had better days than those.”

“I didn’t really have much going on this weekend, so it was pretty meh,” Adrien said.

“Anything worth going into detail about, Maria?” Monaka asked.

“Not really. Sibling rivalry, too much to drink, the usual.”

“That’s a shame. Hope today goes better.”

“Me too.”

—

The rest of the class trickled in, looking various levels of tired and/or hungover. Apparently there had been some sort of party in one of the dorms or something. Whatever it was, it made her feel a bit better knowing she wasn’t the only one who’s head felt ready to explode.

When 9:30 hit, Monaca put down her book. “Okay, is everyone here?”

“No, we’re missing Jackson and Hannah.”

She let out a sigh. “Okay, well, we’re gonna have to start without them, I’ve got a full class’ work for you today.” She stood up. “So, let’s start with a question: I say 2050s, what comes to your brains?”

“Mazer!”

“Mazer.”

“Energy grid.”

“Mazer.”

“Teller City.”

“Energy revolution.”

Monaca smiled. “That’s what I figured. We had two presidents in the 2050s and a bunch of history happened, but most of us really only remember a few of the big things: President Mazer, Teller City, or the energy grid. I know you guys all had US History in high school, but the first half of the 21st century is a bit, ah, fuzzier in terms of analysis than the rest of the timeline. Then, of course, anything past ’64 is just too fresh off the presses to touch quite yet, and I don’t think I need to tell you why. How many of you were born before or during 2064?”

About half the class raised their hand, Maria included.

“Yup. Thought so. In general, if the people being taught about it were alive then, it’s better to avoid teaching it.” Monaca turned on the smartboard behind her. “2050s, however, are fair game, which makes me a very happy person, because that’s what I focused on when I was in college. So, this unit will be devoted entirely to going through the 2050s, with special focus on the details of what made the big changes possible. If you guys want to know what got the energy grid started, or why Mazer was so popular, or when Teller City became a hub, this is a good time to pay extra attention in class.”

“2050s 101?” someone quipped.

“2050s 202, thank you very much,” she said, grinning. “And, don’t think I forgot, anyone—”

Oh, no. No, no no no no.

Oh, and there was the rest of the class, groaning with her.

“—the group project is due on December 1st, last day of the semester. I’m going to be very generous, and give you the second hour of all the Thursday classes to work on it.”

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away,” Maria said through her hands.

“You’ll be fine, guys, don’t be so dramatic,” Monaca said. “And besides, you got to pick your partners, so really, you should be thanking me.”

“Thank you?” Adrien said.

“You’re welcome. Now, 2050! Let’s get started with 2050.”

—

“So basically, 2050 was 2049, except somehow even more devoid of anything important,” Maria said to Adrien as they left.

“Yeah, pretty much,” he nodded. “But it sounds like things start getting interesting in 2051.”

“I really hope so, ‘cause I’ve been a good girl and not fallen asleep in this class yet, and I don’t wanna break my streak.”

“You’re a freakin’ nerd, Maria.”

“I’m a cool nerd, you jerk, and don’t forget it.”

“Mm-hm. Whatever you say.”

“See you in English tomorrow.”

“No, German, remember?”

“Same difference!”

She waved goodbye to him, and made her way back to the parking lot. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Thalia: hey loser before you come back you need to go grocery shopping

Oh, so that’s how it was gonna be today?

Maria: Hey loser, when you get out of bed, you need to get in the fucking shower like I told you before I left.

Thalia: I *did*. *Gawd*

Maria: Keep up the attitude and I will kick your ass into next Wednesday. Get in the shower, now.

Thalia: I already showered! jfc

Maria: Thalia, I will not hesitate. Get. In. The. Shower.

Thalia: I. ALREADY. DID.

Maria: If you’re lying I’m taking away your computer again.

Thalia: Im so fuckin scared

Thalia: it isnt like I *showered* or anything

Thalia: unlike what my sister thinks

Maria: Keep it up, Thalia. Keep it up.

Thalia: we need cheddar and we need ketchup and we need burger patties

Maria: I hate you.

Thalia: mwah

Maria growled, shoving her phone back into her pocket. Why did little sisters have to be the most infuriating creatures on Earth?

She got in her car. “Tesla, I need to go to the grocery store before heading home today, remind me.”

“When would you like to go?” the car asked.

“No later than 15:00.”

“I will remind you at 14:00.”

“Thanks. Take me into the city, I have to meet up with John today.”

“Where are you meeting?”

“Down at that ritzy place on Columbus.”

“Giove?”

“Yeah, Giove.”

“We’ll be there in 15 minutes, with traffic.”

“Sweet.”

—

Giove was a nice Italian restaurant in San Francisco’s Little Italy. Maria saved going there for important meetings or special occasions. Today, with John… it was sort of both.

Thinking about it, it hadn’t been all that long since she saw him last. It was November 1st today, and she’d seen him in July. So that was, what, a few months? Not that long, in the grand scheme of things. John lived in New York, anyway, so getting out to see him wasn’t something they’d planned on happening frequently. When he’d called last week to suggest meeting up, she had offered to let him stay the night, but he'd declined. “Church stuff,” he’d said. Whatever that meant.

The fog was starting to burn off when she arrived, the sun shining through a small hole in the blanket of gray. It was still plenty cold for her taste, so she hurried inside and got to their table.

John showed up a few minutes later. He looked a bit better than last time: he’d gotten a neater haircut, and his facial hair was less unruly. He was wearing a button-up shirt this time, which was an interesting change. She wondered what he would look like in a three-piece suit.

“Hey there, Maria,” he said, sliding into his chair. “How are you?”

“Hoping to get rid of the last of my hangover with this lunch,” she said. “How about you?”

“The Hyperloop gives me anxiety, but less so than other modes of transport,” he said. “Other than that, nothing incredible is happening in my life.”

“That so?”

“Well, besides the obvious.”

“Right…” she said. “…I’ll get it out of the way, you and I are both thinking about election day, right?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I’m not looking forward to it. It’s going to be one of the closest in recent history.”

“Closer than ’64, do you think?”

He frowned as he thought about it. “On an electoral level, probably not, but popularly, it’s going to be very tight. It could go either way.”

“I’ve been trying not to think about it, but… it’s hard,” she said. “I turned off my WiFi in October.”

“Same here,” he said, laughing weakly.

#NaNoWriMo #My work #My OCs

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