#to be clear i didn't watch the subtitled version

[baku-go]

When you're rewatching some of Yu-Gi-Oh duel monsters while at your aunt's house (she has the fancy on demand stuff) and having read the japanese translations of the old lines, the english version hits so different now

Japanese version kaiba actually seems like not quite as much of an asshole? There's so much nuance missing in the english version

And Joey... Bless my heart I grew up with the localized Brooklyn accent but knowing what I'm missing in Japanese is oof 😣 I'm torn between the two versions of that character

#yugioh #joey wheeler #kaiba seto #seto kaiba #anime dub #anime sub #to be clear i didn't watch the subtitled version #someone showed me a website with the translation of the japanese voices #but f u c k

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

10 BL Boys That I Want "Carnally"

aka The Horny List

I was tagged by @my-rose-tinted-glasses @twig-tea @rocketturtle4 and @nieves-de-sugui 🤍 Thank you so much! And sorry I am late to the game! I am lying down with a cold right now... what means I had a little time to think about this list and to respect my own weak heart for bad boys and puppy guys... The heart wants what the heart wants...

Starting the list with one of the softest and warmest bad boys out there right now:

Mhok from Last Twilight

He stole my heart from the beginning and never gave it back. I guess he will keep it for eternity. And that is totally fine! He has the biggest heart and is the biggest green flag disguised as a red flag that is walking the bl-world right now. I love how he looks at Day, how he takes care for him and how he slowly fell for him.

I guess the second one doesn't come as a surprise when you look at my profle pic:

Boeing from Only Friends

He is just sex on a stick and I am still mad that he got introduced so late into the show. He would have been so much fun to watch destroying the whole "friend group" piece by piece. I would have watched such a show. Well I guess I would watch a show in which he just leans out of the pool like that for 40 minutes straight and I wouldn't be mad...

On third we have our first couple, because one doesn't work without the other:

DongWook and DoHyun from A Breeze Of Love

I was so freaking happy seeing those two wanting each other. Those two were in love with each other, not just on an emotional level but on a physical level attracted to each other and the series didn't hide it! It is my favorite bl of this year and the mutual attraction played into it. And those two are just two lost puppies who wants to love and be loved and urgh! I love them!

Going on to an old crush of mine:

Forth from 2 Moons 2

Yes, it is mostly Pavel, but I really liked this soft bad boy with this rascal hair cut and the tattoos. I loved his whole character and yes in the end I am just a weak girl, because look at him!

One character I wish I could drag out of the screen and keep as my own little prince of his stupid white horse:

Yai from I Feel You Linger In The Air

He is one of the prettiest men I ever saw and his puppy eyes with which he is looking at Jom and the soft voice whenever he says his name were making me weak in the knees. He is a total romantic and just wants to love and be loved in return. He is the perfect gentleman and loyal till the end. He needs a strong partner at his side to be the best version of himself and when he dances, the whole world stops for a moment.

Coming to a very much new pic for me and it is a pairing again:

Naoki and Yamashiro from Kiss x Kiss x Kiss: Love ii Shower

I mean Naoki looked like a greek god and Yamashiro was just so sensual in this short episode. I have to confess, I couldn't find a version with subtitles, so I don't know exactly what they were talking about, but in the end, did I really care that much, especially when they started using a language I could understand very good? No, not really. Sometimes I just like looking at beautiful people kissing each other.

One of my long-lasting loves:

Mark from Love Mechanics

I adore War. I love him so much and I am going feral when Jack & Joker really comes real next year. He has one of the best faces out there. He looks good crying and being evil and of course laughing. And Mark was such a lost puppy prick and Vee treated him really shitty for most of the times, but because I love Vee too, I can't be too hard on him. But Mark, I want to give him a hug... everytime all the time!

And on we go with another recent catch for my eyes:

Phaya from The Sign

He is such a flirt and he makes it very clear that he likes Tharn and I love that for us. He is one of the people I want to be hold in their arms just like Tharn here. I can't wait for those two to finally give in to their feelings! And for the mystical plot to unfold itself more, because I really want to know what is going on! And I want those two to save each other.

The next one is called Papi Chulo on TikTok and I can see why:

Sailom from Wedding Plan

The series might not be the best one out there and Papi Chulo might be frustrating for some people, but I loved them both! Lom is such a treat and for most of the times I understand why he acted like he did. And after he came clean with Namnuea he was the best boyfriend/fiancé. And he has one of the best smiles out there and such a cute mole!

Closing this list with the one character I am going feral at the moment whenever he is on screen:

Prom from Playboyy

He has this pure lust in his eyes whenever he looks at Nont and I love it. I don't know if I would trust Prom, but be sure if this man wants to put on a mask and punish me in his basement I would let him... He is one of my guilty pleasures right now and I would watch the series just for him and his fucked up relationship with Nont.

This was fun! I am so late to the game, I am not tagging anyone, because I know many have done it already and I don't want to double tag :) But if you see this and want to do it yourself, feel free to make your own list and tag me, so I can have a look at your picks 😊

#tag game #tag bl game #multi bl #last twilight #only friends #a breeze of love #2 moons 2 #i feel you linger in the air #Kiss x Kiss x Kiss: Love ii Shower #love mechanics #the sign the series #wedding plan #playboyy

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 01

Not a hoax, not a dream, not an imaginary story, and it's not an April Fool's prank! The Neon Genesis Evangelion liveblog begins here!

Man, it feels surreal to actually be doing this. This is one of those bucket-list anime series that I thought I should watch just to understand all the pop culture references. Jojo's Bizarre Adventure was one, Revolutionary Girl Utena was another, but those were a lot easier to track down. Hell, RGU was free on YouTube when I watched it. But Eva was a little tougher to get ahold of. There weren't a lot home video releases, and streaming services weren't carrying it. I think that's changed in the last few years, but I'd heard the Netflix version had some changes to the subtitles, and besides, I was busy with other things.

So a few years back I just said "fuck it" and paid too much money for the old ADV DVDs. I think it's out on Blu-Ray now, but I can't take screenshots from Blu-Rays so this is the play. But that's all prologue. We're finally here, and I'm finally watching this thing, so it's time to see what this thing's all about.

Ah, so it's a historical drama, is it?

I could gush about the theme song, which I've enjoyed for years, even without watching this show, but nah, let's just move on to the show itself. You know the words, and if you don't, go look up "Cruel Angel's Thesis" and prepare to rock out.

There's a little backstory in this episode, but the important stuff is pretty self-evident. There's some giant monster thing that emerged from the water, and a big UN military force is desperate to destroy it before it attacks. Conventional weapons are completely ineffective, and a big chunk of Episode 01 is spent on watching this thing shrug off missiles and shells as it strolls towards... someplace. I'm assuming it's a city or a base.

It's fast, strong, and agile, as seen here when it catches a missile in one hand. The missile explodes in its face and has no effect.

While this is going on, a woman named Misato Katsugari is trying to pick up a kid named Shinji Ikari. The monster attack hits right before she finds him, and he almost gets killed when she pulls up in her car. On their way to the base, she sees that the U.N. is deploying a nuclear weapon? It looks like a nuke, but I missed that line, so maybe it was something else. Anyway, it doesn't work either, but it does blow over Misato's car.

When the dust settles, they push the car back on its wheels and continue. Misato calls for some sort of train to pick them up and take them the rest of the way, and it's like some kind of car-carrier train, I guess. Not important.

Since the nuke didn't work, the UN hands things off to the NERV agency, headed by Shinji's father, Gendo Ikari. Okay, so in brief, they call the monsters "angels", and if I remember right, they said there was an attack fifteen years ago, so this is an ongoing thing. NERV was established to combat these angels, but I guess the UN wanted to see if they could hack it on their own first.

Misato works for NERV, and she introduces Shinji to Ritsuko Akagi. They discuss Shinji as being the "Third Child", so it's becoming clear that Shinji didn't just come here to visit his dad.

I kind of glossed over all this technobabble, but I already know where this is going. There's big robots that can fight the angels, and they must need Shinji to pilot one of them, and he must be uniquely capable of doing so or they wouldn't have bothered sending for him.

The ladies give Shinji a NERV manual to read, but when they show him the robot, they tell him it's not in the manual. So why is there a manual at all? I mean, there's not much else to this operation besides the robots, right? Maybe that's why the manual looks so short.

I guess they were going to slowly introduce Shinji to the job, but the angel is attacking the base, so they kind of cut to the chase. NERV needs Shinji to pilot this specific robot, Evangelion Unit 01, to fight the angel. Shinji is obviously untrained, but his dad insists that he only has to sit in the pilot seat. Shinji still hates this idea, and his dad stone cold doesn't care. Shinji clearly doesn't trust his dad, and his dad stone cold doesn't care about that either.

Misato is the only one here who's even a little sympathetic to Shinji's predicament here, but even she pressures him to get in the robot, because they're all going to die if the angel gets any closer. She says something about how Shinji needs to "confront" his dad and himself, which Shinji seems to understand, like he's known for a while now that this day was coming. He still can't bring himself to go through with it though. So Gendo goes with Plan B.

Plan B is Rei Ayanami, a girl about Shinji's age who piloted another NERV robot, Unit 00. I guess she fought an angel recently, which is why she's so badly hurt in this episode. They have to wheel her in on a gurney. The NERV staff are somewhat incredulous about this, but as Gendo puts it "She's not dead", and if Shinji won't fight, this is all they have left. Despite her condition, Rei agrees to do it, although it's pretty clear to everyone that she's in no condition for this, if she ever was.

While Shinji is still processing the implications of sending Rei in his place, the base is rocked by the angel outside, and it's enough to knock over Rei's gurney and send some stuff crashing onto Shinji... until Unit 01 raises its hand to mimic his own instictive motions. Improbably, Shinji is so in tune with the robot that he can control it from the outside, without even being conscious of it. So this sheds some light on why Gendo wanted him to pilot the thing so badly.

So between this and the pathetic state Rei's in, Shinji agrees to pilot the robot and defend the base. There's a lengthy scene of him getting put inside the robot and sending the robot outside, but I'm not going to do into that.

Gendo's second-in-command asks him if he's sure about this, and he points out that if they don't defeat the angels, then they have no future. As cold and indifferent as he seems, he does have a point. If Rei and Shinji are the only ones who can pilot the robots, what choice do they have? But I'm pretty sure the rest of this series will show that it's not that simple...

And that's the episode. I'm a little surprised they're saving the actual fight for episode 2, but at this point it seems like a foregone conclusion. If Shinji can't win, they all die, and I have a feeling the kaiju battles are kind of secondary to the rest anyway.

The way I understood it, this show started out like a fairly typical Sentai/Kaiju/Whatever-You-Call-It TV series. Kids in colorful suits, they hop in giant robots, which are the only thing that can stop the giant monsters, it's been done a million times. But as the series progresses, it turns into this introspective psychodrama or something. Also, it plays up how messed up it is to send teenagers into a war zone like this, but I think we just saw that happen already, so it looks like the social commentary hit the ground running.

I don't really have much more to say here since we're just getting started. There's not much point in trying to figure out Gendo, even though that's clearly the guy we're supposed to be wondering about. Better to wait for more information and go from there. So I'll see you next time.

#neon genesis evangelion #2024ngeliveblog #shinji ikari #gendo ikari #misato katsuragi #ritsuko akagi #rei ayanami

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

I watched ATSV again in theaters and noticed some interesting things:

Gwen's dad at the beginning wears a Vision Academy sweater. Not only that, he's in the gymnastics group. This means that Vision not only exists on Earth-65, George has entered it. Maybe it explains how Gwen knew how to blend in so well. And that she chose to take ballet lessons because of her father.

When Miguel's universe was falling apart, not only he but Peter B. and other spiders were there. It gives extra weight to the whole Society thing. It's not just a sad story a random guy told, it was a catastrophe witnessed by several of them. I don't blame them for believing so much.

Peter and Gwen have known each other since they were 4, assuming she's 16 and George's speech after his death says he's known Peter for 12 years.

A spider person having their Sense Triggered when someone they love is not themselves in danger is not new. Miles felt his father falling at the beginning of the film. Pav felt Gayatri on the bus. But what is abysmal is that Gwen's felt between dimensions. In all other cases, they were from people present in the same space and dimension. So that says a lot only about the love she feels for Miles (and also about her spider sense.)

Oh these are interesting!

I actually notice that shirt on my last viewing! I cannot believe it took me this long to realize.

Funnily enough, my first thought when I saw this is that Gwen was Vision's and this was a shirt in support of her. But considering how faded this looks, your explanation makes more sense since I really doubt Visions Academy has lower classes than middle school.

Though not gonna lie, I found funny the idea that the visions in Gwen's world may be just another run-of-the-mill school, just to appear in Miles's world and be like "why did he get the nice version?"

May keep that hc regardless.

Oh I knew Peter was there from the first viewing, what I didn't realize was about the different spiders!

Let's see who he can spot.

Julia Carpenter is here! I am not really familiar with her character (I don't read comics, for now at least,) but hey, nice to see they are bringing some classics.

I'm going to assume this is Peter B, but I don't think anyone can blame me for mixing this one up if it isn't the case.

Cowboy Spidey is here!

This one we are going to wait for the HD version of this movie because I had a hard time finding a frame where I could kind of see them let alone be clear who they are.

I still need to finish that analysis, but honestly the organization as a whole works in some ways that upon reflection, not only I am not surprised they believe it, I'm more than anything horrified how no one realized how nuts the place was getting.

Good eye! I haven't noticed this one myself, and again, I had seen this movie several times. In my defense, sometimes the audio is hard to catch and I had issues catching stuff at it is. I really need to get a good version of this movie with subtitles.

But this is cool! It really goes to show how important was Peter for Gwen, they really had known each other since forever and I can't imagine not just how much it hurt Gwen losing Peter, but her needing to get used to reality of not having around after doing so for so much of her life.

Goddammit when I thought Peter and Gwen's tragedy couldn't get worse-

This one y'all know how I feel, and if you don't, here.

I still hope we get a more in depth explanation, though I wouldn't be surprised if we don't. Regardless, is undeniable how much Miles matters to Gwen, and viceversa.

Thanks for telling me this!

#ghostflower files #atsv files #gwen stacy #george stacy #peter b parker #ask #across the spiderverse #atsv

[sonicjustbecause]

Sonic - English, Japanese version - my impression as somebody who doesn't speak any of the two languages.

First - my experience with the two languages, to explain how I perceived thing as a total foreigner.

English - I truly can't speak English. My written English sucks. I don't know if you can read/understand my posts. I can read English, both British and American (I usually use British English but I use American when I want to be more concise), overall I can read all kind of topics, but I don't like slangs. My listenings skills are bad, it depends who is speaking. I could listen and understand enough Sonic Prime without subtitles, but in other occasion the language is too different from Italian and I need the subs.

Japanese - Mostly I watch anime in Japanese. I don't speak the language at all and I can count all the japanese words I know in one hand. The sound of the language is sillabic so is as clear as Italian. As for Sonic, I watched Sonic X in Japanese version (Italian and English version long ago, I don't even remember a lot), the two adventure in English, Unleashed in both version, Frontiers in Italian and Japanese.

Sonic Force is boring, I was unable to pay attention. I saw it not long ago and I quickly forgot everything. The only good thing was Infinite's Italian voice, is very beautiful.

OK, my impression of the character from English version was not like it was describled there. I perceived it more how is perceived in the Japanese version. Many times I said our personal experience make us perceive a character in a certain way, maybe the language I speak is part of it. Italian is more contextual than English, or maybe is how character act (that does't change whathever language they speak), I don't know... I remember perceiving Sonic as a aloof, slightly grumpy but kind hearted and happy character before watching the Japanese version (that just confirmed that). Current Sonic - even in Japanese, is more outgoing and sullen.

Flanderization happened in the Japanese version too and is undeniable (I said i watched the Japanese versions too).

Indeed...

this remember a old cartoon I used to see in early '90s...

"Cecil, help me!"

Knuckles still does his duty, but I saw him more and more relaxed lately. Like: 'A bit of absence won't hurt!'. The describled flanderization sounds more like the one we saw in Sonic Boom.

Yes, this.

Sonic X is Japanese and she is clearly different from videogames (Right, I've said I watched the Japanese version). In the two adventure Amy was energetic yet gentle. I remember her kind attitude toward Gamma and Shadow. in Sonic X she made me laugh, but yes, she looks also dangerous. Sonic is right to avoid her.

Magical girl Amy. Well - Eggman deserve that.

This poor guy had it the worst. I remember Shadow being overall gloomy but still playful. Is like they just took away all the facets that made Shadow likeable and left only the flaws (inflating them to 'fill' emty spaces) . The Shadow we had during last decade (except for Lance Shadow) is the perfect edgy character that only 15 years old kids like. At 15 I also lingered on edgelords and I though they were the best because they were 'oh, pure serious' and didn't lingered in 'foolish cheerfulness'. I even characterized some of my own characters as edgelords (I'm glad I'm out from it since late teen). My mum made me understand why they suck, calling them 'arm candy' (belle statuine). That was a great and helpful criticism.

I loved funny and evil Eggman. I don't like what Eggman is lately, more than a villain, he seems a mignon.

Though Japanese dialogue might be better and more meaningful (when different from English ones), this doesn't mean Japanese version of Sonic is free of issues. We need to accept that Sonic franchise is flawed, that the fandom is not perfect. The good thing is that all the material we have around can satisfy all palates. Let's enjoy what we like and hope for the better, whathever will be.

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic #shadow #eggman #tails the fox #sth #amy rose #tails #sonic series #knuckles the echidna #knuckles #amy #sonic fandom

[burnadicarwoz]

I watched this pilot for a show on YouTube called "ongezellig" or unsociable, roughly. Found it by scrolling on reddit and seeing a meme about how tied the shows fandom is to 4chan and generally offensive some of it is (not my words btw, and to be clear, they conveyed this through hitler beatboxing)

Course, I read the title and was intrigued so I clicked on some links, found the show was Dutch, but then found English subtitles and was saved. Watched the whole thing, which was like 20 minutes long, and felt.. diffrent after. The show struck a cord with me, one I rarely get now.

Most shows or media in general I like to consume will have characters I like, obviously. But that's mainly because I *want* to be them. Majima from yakuza, vaas from far cry, Harry from disco to a degree even. Love them all, and they all act so freely and with so much joy that I can't help but want to literally BE them. I want to not give a fuck and be happy like them.

BUT. then you have characters like yusuke from persona, Harry again (I'm obsessed), bojack horseman (especially to a degree) and now, maya from ongezellig. All these guys and gal get stuck in me head and heart for 1 thing they have that the previous characters didn't. **I see myself In all of them, the actual me.** the weirdness and outgoing of yusuke, the guilt and day to day shittyness with horseman, the urge to keep wanting to try in a failed and hopeless world with Harry. And now, the isolation, comfortable loneliness and nervous tingles (occasionally) from maya.

And with this, I don't want to be her. Rather, I want to be around them, talk to them. When I see myself in a character, that's investment. That's when a character goes from well written to emotionally gripping. Because it's not just them, but you, who need to succeed. And I love love love when stories can do this to me. Not only does it get you to look at your own life critically, but now there's someone who's great and who just gets you.

So, aside from testing my essay and storytelling here (how was it, bad? Good? Would drive again) I also wanted to just say thank you to the people at studio mazza, as well as its creator for creating this wonderful show. I checked your Dutch version of patron out, glad to see you ain't ghosted the internet. And I hope that someday, you will get the recognition you deserve and that more can watch so the show goes from underrated to just rated (the dream, I know.)

So one more time, check out ongezellig on youtube, its subtitled in like 80 languages. And thank you, from my heart to studio mazza for creating maya. That absolute wreck will forever be one of the few who took my heart, and stayed in it too.

#ongezellig #personal essay #yeah why not thats what this is at this point #also its like 20 mins so even if you dont like it it aint like that much time was spent anyway

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

Intro: Favorite Mongolian Authors & more

#slavic roots western mind

I've always had an interest in Mongolia, primarily because there's literally so little international news coverage, at least in my neck of the woods so to speak.

Despite my Mongolian language learning attempts being paused for the time being, I nonetheless continue to fall in love with Mongolian literature with every read, especially with poetry, which is why I've wanted to share my favourite authors.

Here's my quick list of Mongolian authors who's works I've read so far (and a few that are on my to-read radar).

1. Galsan Tschinag

My absolutely favorite poet, born in Mongolia in 1944, famous for his poetry, which interestingly enough was originally written in German, and then translated to English.

His works primarily feature the themes of a nomadic lifestyle, nature, heritage and cultural identity, so if any of these topics interest you, definitely check out his works!

2. Chadraabalyn Lodoidamba

I've only managed to read one of his novels "Тунгалаг тамир" (The Crystal Clear Tamir River), but it's definitely a worthwhile read. Set in the 20th Century, it provides an interesting insight into Mongolian history leading up to the uprising of Mongolia in 1932, with a strong focus on the struggle of the poor against the rich

There's no official English translation (there are German and Russion versions somewhere, but I didn't find them yet), but google translate helped me create a readable version from the original Mongolian.

There's also a movie split into several episodes avaliable on yt but with iffy subtitles, so if you liked the book, you can sort of follow along with the movie.

It's rare for me to hear spoken Mongolian, so watching the movie episodes has been a fascinating experience.

3. Choinom Ryenchi

Once again, I've only read one of this authors works "Buriad", written in 1973 and published in Sümtei Budaryn Chuluu [A Stone from the Steppe with a Monastery] in 1990, but it was enough to interest me.

Buriad refers to an ethnic group in Mongolia, with the poem describing their lifestyle and history. I don't know if what I've read is the entire work, as I found it in a research paper, feauturing said poem with the translation, but it was still quite beautiful.

The style is very lyrical, almost like a song or even a chant at times, and very captivating. A must-read.

4. Mend-Ooyo Gombojav

He has written quite a lot of novels, with many of them luckily translated into English.

His "The Holy One" is a great work of historical fiction, about a 19th century poet and teacher of Buddhism, whose memory and works were later persecuted by the governments fight against intellectuals and free-thinkers, all whilst his works protector attempted to save his works.

Unfortunately I've only read excerpts and bits and pieces, which is pretty frustrating because it seems so good? The style is unusual for me, but it's pretty great either way.

I've read the peom "The Way of the World", which has a rather nostalgic vibe, remembering the past warriors and their heroic deeds but also suggesting that only the stories of their victories will remain. Short but "sweet".

5. Oyungerel Tsedevdamba

I only know her "The Green-eyed Lama", co-written by her and her husband Jeffrey Lester Falt, but the plot description is enough to have me hooked. A love triangle, love and faith amidst war and rebellion... Here's me hoping that it won't be a tear-jerker, because sad endings are not my favorite genre.

Here's a link to a video about Oyungerel's and Jeffrey's writing and research process and how they wrote the novel. It's actually based on a true real-life story, so I guess I'll see how reading this novels turn out. History isn't exactly known for it's happy endings, so we shall see.

6. Combo: Mongolian Short Stories

This one is a compilation of short stories by various Mongolian authors rather than just one author, but it'll have to do because Number 6 exhausts all my knowledge of Mongolian literature.

Edited and compiled by Henry G. Schwarz, each story is about 4-15 pages long with different themes, ranging from daily life in rural Mongolia to critiques of the political situation at the time, the style is a tad over the place, as each author has their own distinct style. Nonetheless, this book gives interesting insights into what life was like in Mongolia at the time, and whether our notions and initial ideas about Mongolia reflect the literary depictions.

Here's my list so far, but chances are I'll update it soon, so watch out for any new updates!

I'll happily share any links and digital copies of these works that I have, just message me please!

#college life #literature #book blr #study blr #light academia #mongolia #slavic roots western mind #Mongolian literature #student life #student

[mochiette]

Just Gash Bell Musings

I was 18 when I first got into the Zatch/Gash Bell manga and anime series in 2006. During the summer, I caught a glimpse of an English dub episode on Cartoon Network while visiting a relative. I didn't have TV cable at my house at the time. A few months later, my mom brought back a Zatch Bell manga from the library, which was volume 7. This was the volume that introduced me to Suzume / Suzy. I researched the series on my college's library's computer.

Soon I was so interested in the series that I started to watch the English dub episodes, the Japanese version with English fansubs while the anime was still airing in Japan at the time, and waited for the fan translations for the manga chapters which the manga was still running in Weekly Shounen Sunday on my very first laptop despite having a low ass internet speech via an internet USB broadband back then lmaoooo. Ah, the good old days.

I remembered the day when the final anime episode aired and watched it in RAW on YouTube while waiting for the fansubs. Yeah, I didn't know Japanese, but still wanted to know how they ended the anime. The manga was on hiatus due to the author breaking his drawing hand, so I guess the anime writers couldn't do much, but make an original ending for the anime. After the anime ended, I kept up with the manga chapter releases after it came out of hiatus.

And now seventeen years later, there is a sequel to the original Zatch Bell manga, and holy cow, we have a grown-up Kiyomaro and a teenager Gash. It's so crazy to think about. I often wonder why they didn't make an anime reboot to follow the manga storyline from the beginning. Yeah. The Clear Note Arc wasn't animated and there were charges to the Faudo arc and Suzume's character was RUINED in the anime. Yeah, I am still bitter as heck lmao.

I hope there is an anime reboot one day with new seiyuus and new English dub voice actors and an anime reboot that gives justice to Suzume's character. She was DONE dirty in the anime. I still haven't forgiven the anime writers for what they have done to her in the London arc and the Faudo arc and they made her more incompetent than how she was in the manga. As for the Zatch Bell 2 sequel, I don't care about who Suuzme ends up with, just give me closure on her.

As you can tell, Suzume is my favorite character in the series. She's the one who got me into the series because I wanted to know more about her. And her English dub voice was….ugh. The dub made her sound more annoying than in the Japanese version so I prefer her Japanese voice. Also, Suzy? Her English dub name should have been Suzanna or Susan. I guess my alternative fangiven names for Suzume sounds too "pretty" for a plain-looking girl like her, I guess.

Well, that's all about my musings on Gash / Zatch Bell. Since Discotek Media licensed and subbed the Gash Bell movies, I hope they relicensed and rereleased the anime with retranslated subtitles and an uncut and unedited new English dub with the original Japanese names. I'd prefer it if there were new English dub voice actors because why not? lmao.

#My Musings #Zatch Bell #Konjiki No Gash Bell #Suzume Mizuno #Suzy MIzuno #Mizuno Suzume

[olderthannetfic]

I started watching Beyond Evil after seeing your enthusiasm for it, and I’ve noticed the music often seems at odds with the tone of speech/ actions. For example, at the end of episode 2, they play Feeling Good (big band jazz) while the chief gives a serious speech and again while they show the new victim and Dong-sik’s grief.

Do you know why that is? Like, is there a cultural gap or different genre expectations in Korean dramas? Or is it an issue of the tone not being accurately portrayed by the English subtitles? Or just bad scoring?

Scoring is my favorite aspect of cinematography to analyze, and when it’s well done it adds so much, often without being noticed, but I just can’t figure out some of the choices they make.

--

Favorite aspect of cinematography? ;)

Interesting question. I remember thinking the scoring of Beyond Evil was brilliant. I don't think I noticed it not matching the tone.

I've found that some Asian dramas score in really bananas ways that don't work for me (Kei x Yaku, I'm looking at you and your dreadful song It's a Bop that plays all over all the serious moments for no reason.) But this kind of serious Korean drama usually feels to me like it's operating on the same aesthetic principles as a lot of Western stuff.

If I'm understanding which parts you mean, the song that plays during them is The Night by Choi Baek Ho. It's jazz, yes, but it certainly does not strike me as a happy song, neither in the sound of the instrumentals nor in the vocal quality.

(Unless they re-scored it for some locations? That's always possible on streaming services.)

I assume they decided on some jazz for Beyond Evil because it's a genre that has that same world-weary quality as Lee Dong Sik. It definitely worked for me tonally, though more at the end of the episode than during the chief's speech. The singer's voice feels to me like it matches Dong Sik.

As for why this particular song is under the chief's speech... I'm thinking it might be because of the lyrics. Now that I look them up, they seem melancholy, paranoid, and highly relevant. I think the song may have been written for the show, actually.

Here's the translation from that youtube video written out:

I've been looking for you anxiously. Was it in my dream last night that I passed by you? In the middle of the night, I'm asking you again and again but you're laughing at me. Would that be you?

This dawn when no one is awake I'm walking alone in the thick fog The unfamiliar shadow appears somewhere in the middle of the night. Would that be you?

The faint stalks of that falling flame stuck in the smoke Will I know you before you go away? Why can't you answer me before it's too late? I'm asking you again today.

A black night when no one is awake May the morning when the darkness is cleared never come. In the middle of the night, the one person who wants to be Who is that? Breathe out. In the middle of the night, it's gone far away. In the middle of the night, I don't know if that was you.

I've seen a few other translations that vary slightly, but it's something in this vein.

They actually don't play it under Dong Sik's grief unless we watched different versions.

The music starts with a sting on HJW noticing the body parts. Then tension music starts and plays over HJW watching LDS cry. Fairly standard score builds under the two of them having their realizations or coming to decisions ending with a sting. (Okay, maybe it's a bit heavy on the electric guitars. It didn't bother me though.)

Then there's naturalistic sound during the flashback to the mysterious figure who put the body parts there. The music only starts at the end of what he's doing as the camera starts to swing around with a big crescendo on his closeup.

In other words, this somewhat bombastic song is there for the "Dun dun DUNNNN" twist that is that face reveal and then carries us into the credits.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Regarding your last post, I thought the same while watching the behind the scenes of the MV. This is not a shade because I myself am not fluent in English and still need to improve a lot but to me it seems quite obvious Jungkook’s English isn’t as good as some Army like to pretend (I’m going to get call names…). I would say he’s around a low intermediate level, which is perfectly fine, he has a busy life so it doesn’t let him a lot of time to study. I guess his understanding is better than his speaking skills, which is usually the case for most of language learners, but orally I don’t think he fully grasps all the meanings and nuances and the slang etc. I just want to say again this is not me trying to belittle his abilities, it’s only my opinion, but to me it doesn’t look like he fully understands what he sings… his face expressions in that video, it looks like sometimes he was a bit clueless. I’m not saying he has no idea of what he is singing, obviously he got a full translation before accepting the project but he doesn’t look like he truly "feels" the lyrics and immerge himself in it. Idk, for me it lacks something and that video made me a bit uncomfortable. I know I’m being a bit dramatic but I can’t shake the feeling that the industry is using him for cash and immediate success without paying much attention to who he his, his personality, his artistry. And another collab is on the way with Kid Laroi apparently… I’m losing interest. I want to hear Jungkook on his own, with a song made only for him and that reflects who he is as a person and an artist. I miss that feeling, seeing him perform so honestly, when you can see on his face and hear in his voice how much he feels the song, how deep he goes to find the emotions and bring them to the surface. I truly hope there will be songs on his album that makes me feel connected to him again because at the moment it feels like I am totally unable to enjoy what he’s doing.

I don't even know if he bothered translating Jack Harlow's parts tbh. I remember one Run BTS episode where they had to sing their songs without using English, so they had to translate some lyrics to Korean, and, apart from RM, the members didn't even know what the English lyrics meant. I remember J-Hope being shocked, like, "So this is what this part means?", which was a bit wild for me since it was his song. Tbh, I don't bother reading the translation to most kpop songs. I only know what the tts mean because most MVs have subtitles now. If not, then too bad... Most songs have boring lyrics so it's often best if I don't know them. It's different for the artist, but I still can't be certain that Jungkook bothered finding out the translation to Jack's parts although he's the type to. Maybe he was so busy he didn't bother? Maybe he recorded his parts and only gave his blessing to the final version which included Jack's verses, without approving the lyrics beforehand. He doesn't seem the type to control what other people write in their own verses. Maybe he was too busy to translate the lyrics and only did it later? All seem to be possible options. The fact that Jungkook had to be coached to do the right facial expressions and gestures for his TikTok with Jack made it seem like he wasn't sure at all what the lyrics meant - at least then. It also makes me confident that he doesn't know what "rain, rain, rain" or "champagne, confetti" really mean. I think Jungkook cares more about melody and the vibe than lyrics.

Anyway, I don't think the industry is using him. He's not a victim anymore than anyone else. He's making his own choices, as much as someone in the industry can. Of course Big Hit loves the choices he's making because he's doing so well commercially, but I think he's made it clear that he loves what he's been doing. And if he's letting other people make choices for him, the blame is on him too, because he's in a position where he can say no.

I also want to hear Jungkook on his own, but, unless he's truly being pressured into only doing collabs for whatever reason, these are the choices he's making.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #jungkook #text #thanks for the ask

[screechthemighty]

Well this took all freaking week, didn't it?? Sorry about that, I had to re-write the beginning and a section towards the end. Next two chapters should still be faster to release, though. AO3 link will be in a reblog, but here's the whole chapter below!

the unknowable tomorrow | a tristamp fanfic part six: meryl

note: translation for "sound life" taken from the subtitles of trigun '98 ep. 7 and 8 (japanese language version)

.

She stepped out of the portal into near blinding sunlight.

Meryl shielded her eyes and looked around. She was standing between two rough structures. Almost everything in front of her was obscured by the light; when she turned around, she saw a towering structure not too far away. It was part of a ruined ship. There were more buildings, too, sprawling out from the ruins like spokes on a wheel.

Is this a settlement? A town? Maybe one of the cities… Though it didn’t seem big enough for that. The sound of voices made Meryl duck deeper into the shadows. A few people walked by. One was dressed in a patched-up version of the uniforms she remembered from Ship Three; the other was wearing a similar shirt, but with faded jeans. “...really don’t know if there’s anything else we can scavenge,” Jeans said. “It’s been almost two years. We’re going to have to figure something else out.”

“I know. I just wish we knew if the Plant carrier really made it,” replied the other person. “I keep hearing rumors that the Sinners are up to something that way.”

“Yeah, well, real douchey of them not to come help if they are.”

Meryl watched them go, then kept looking around. There were more people, a lot more than she’d expected. Most were dressed in sand-stained white; a lot of the outfits looked like they’d been cobbled together from other clothes.

Almost two years, Meryl noted. She grabbed her notebook and a pen out of her jacket and started scribbling that down. So…two years since the Fall? Which would mean that Vash is…

“Squawk?”

Something poked at Meryl’s shoulder, nearly knocking her over. She yelped and turned around. It was just a thomas, a smaller one, but with a gleam in its eye that said it was thinking about doing something annoying. “H-hi?”

Of course, it tried to bite one of her earrings. Meryl squeaked and backed away. “Knock it off - !”

“Brad!” The thomas tilted its head at the shout, but kept staring at her earrings. “Brad, get back here!” Footsteps darted over; a hand reached out to grab Thomas's bridle. “I’m really sorry, he…”

The figure froze. Meryl did, too, for reasons that had nothing to do with the thomas still staring at her jewelry. It was Vash. His voice had changed a bit, but she knew it was him the second she got a clear look. His hair was a lot more like what she remembered, poofy on top and short on the sides. He was wearing a new outfit: sleeveless top, white pants, no visible Plant markings to speak of. His blue eyes stared at her, wide and startled, as if…

He recognized her, Meryl realized. He definitely did.

…oh, no, this is bad. No, no, stay calm. It’s only been two years, so…yeah, if you look exactly the same and are wearing the same clothes, I’m sure that’s fine, right? No one has new clothes in a situation like this, right? And it’ll be what, over one hundred years before he sees you again? Maybe he’ll forget the outfit? Think I’m my own great-grandmother or something?

Right. Sure. She’d just keep telling herself that.

“It’s - “ Meryl had to clear her throat. “It’s fine. I think he’s just, uh…” She took a step back when the thomas’s eyes fixed on her earrings again. “...curious.”

“...yeah, yeah, he’s…” Vash adjusted his grip on the reins. “He’s friendly, I promise. It’s actually my fault, I should’ve kept a closer eye on him…”

“It’s fine, really.”

“He didn’t…?”

“Nope. Still attached to my ears.”

“Okay. Good.”

And awkward silence settled over them. Meryl hoped her face didn’t reflect how panicked she was. Say something, anything, come on, you’re supposed to be a journalist! You know how to talk to people! “...soooo…”

“Sorry,” Vash blurted, his cheeks going pink. “But, uhm, were you…you were at the Ship Five wreckage, weren’t you? You probably don’t recognize me, I changed my hair, but you…you saved my life back there. If that was you. And I really hope it is, because otherwise I probably sound really crazy, but…”

“That was me,” Meryl said. There really was no point in lying about it; she could try, but her mind was still too scrambled to make an attempt. “I remember you.”

Vash’s face lit up immediately. She might regret lying later, but suddenly, for the moment, she was glad she’d told the truth. He looked so happy. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m really glad you’re okay. I thought maybe something had happened to you.”

“Oh, no, no, I just…I went back to help and I guess in all the craziness I ended with another group.” That seemed like a plausible story. That kind of thing probably happened all the time. “I’m glad you made it okay, too. Did those people take you in?”

Vash nodded. “They’ve been looking after me since.” The thomas finally dragged its attention from Meryl’s earrings and focused on nibbling Vash’s ear. He laughed. “Hey, don’t complain to me. You ran away before I could feed you.” To Meryl, he added, “How long have you been here?”

“I…just got here, actually.” She hoped that wasn’t too suspicious. “Sorry, I’ve had a long day.”

“Me, too. Have you had lunch yet? I was going to meet Brad…er, human Brad, but then this one got away from me.”

Lunch. Food. She actually couldn’t remember when she’d eaten last, now that she thought about it. “I haven’t,” she said. “I got kind of turned around, actually.”

“Yeah, this place is confusing at first. Come on, I’ll show you.”

This was probably a bad idea. Meryl didn’t know what the effects of talking to Vash twice now would be, but she also knew she couldn’t back out. Nothing to do but keep going forward.

Roberto had said she seemed blessed with good luck. Time to find out how good it really was.

On the plus side, there was so much to take in that Meryl didn’t have a lot of time to keep fretting. She didn’t think the settlement was big enough to be a future member of the Seven Cities, but she could see it becoming a decently-sized town. Especially if they had a Plant or two. Meryl desperately wished she had her camera. No one would believe her for a second when she got back, but this was history. This was the dark ages of No Man’s Land, a period so chaotic and focused on survival that not many records survived. She should be documenting everything she could. And if nothing else, it would serve as personal confirmation that this was all real. Meryl took in as many details as she could, trying to preserve them so she could write them down later. She probably would’ve lost Vash if he hadn’t stuck so close to her. “It’s great, right?” he said.

“It’s bigger than I expected,” Meryl said. “How many people are here?”

“I…don’t know? Uhm, not quite a full ship crew, but a lot. I didn’t ask. Brad and I are just here to help with the Plants.”

“Both of you?” Vash nodded. “That seems like a lot of responsibility. How old are you now?”

“Three.” Vash immediately looked embarrassed. “I mean. By birthdays, I’m three. Which makes me…twelve or thirteen?”

Meryl was startled at first. Then her mind subtracted two from three, replacing her shock with horror. “So, back then, you were…” One. Maybe a little older, but a few months of change didn’t make it any more okay. “Oh, Vash, I’m so sorry.”

Vash stared at her, his frown only growing more confused. Or maybe that was discomfort. He looked away from her. “You didn’t do anything,” he pointed out quietly.

“I know, but…you shouldn’t have had to go through all that.”

Vash shrugged. “None of us should’ve,” he said.

That was true. It seemed especially unfair for him. He was going to have to deal with the consequences longer than almost anyone here. “Still. I’m really sorry.”

Vash glanced her way again, that uncertain look still on his face. Had anyone spoken to him about what had happened? Or was everyone more focused on moving on? She could understand if it was the latter–they had to survive somehow–but that couldn’t have been good for anyone. “Thanks,” Vash muttered. He turned his attention to the thomas. “Are you going to stay put now,” he asked sternly, “or are you going to keep being bad?”

The thomas chirped in response and tried to bite his ear again. Vash managed to push its head away before it could. “You’re lucky I like you.” To Meryl, he added, “You might want to take the earrings off. They all really like that kind of thing.”

Meryl barely managed to get her earrings off and in her pocket before they arrived at a makeshift barn. Vash veered towards a man standing near the entrance. “I got him!” he said.

The figure turned to face Vash. She’d met him before, Meryl realized. That was Brad, the man who’d been fixing Vash’s arm. It was startling to see this younger version of him; he wasn’t that much older than her, if she had to guess, early 30s at the absolute oldest. “About time. Did it run all the way out of town?” he asked. His gaze fixed suddenly and very intensely on Meryl. “And you are…?”

She hadn’t felt that self-conscious in a while. Was it her outfit? Had she done something wrong? “Uhm…”

“She’s okay,” Vash said immediately. “She’s the one who found me after the Fall. She’s…” He glanced at her expectantly.

“Claudia,” Meryl blurted. It was her great-grandmother’s name; if she was going to be seen by people, she might as well try to make this a bit easier for her past (future?) self. “I just got here.”

Brad still didn’t look convinced; Vash scooting a bit closer to her and giving him the puppy eyes did get him to relent a little. “Right. Welcome to civilization, Claudia…or the closest thing we’ve got.” He gestured over his shoulder. “Get that thing back in its stall. They’re serving lunch soon.”

“Got it.”

Meryl waited until they were a good distance from Brad before whispering to Vash, “Did I do something?”

Vash shook his head. “No, no, he’s just supposed to look after me. He wasn’t expecting to see anyone we know here, and some people are…” He trailed off, then smiled at her reassuringly. “And he’s got a grumpy voice. Don’t worry about it.”

…okay. She didn’t like that sudden change of topic. Now her head was going to be on a swivel. People couldn’t have already turned on Vash, could they? Or…did they know what he was? Did that make him valuable enough to kidnap?

Definitely keeping my head on a swivel.

“He’ll warm up to you, really,” Vash continued. “You can stay with us…I mean, only if you want to. Like I said, it’s confusing here, and…” He turned his attention back to the thomas as he kept rambling. “...since we know each other already…”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Meryl said. “Thank you, Vash.”

The tension left his face immediately. Vash glanced her way and smiled. “Okay. Cool.”

Once the thomas was safely in the stall–Vash triple-checked the door as the bird watched, as if it were checking to see if he’d missed anything–they went back to Brad. He still gave Meryl a suspicious look, but didn’t protest when she followed them. Vash taking her hand as they went back into the town seemed to keep him from saying anything. Meryl kept looking around as they walked, absorbing all the details, trying to guess what this place might become in the future. It didn’t seem like they’d put much thought into where to put the buildings. November was the same way; the museum in the city core talked about how structures were built and torn down as needed, giving that part of the city a less structured feeling. A lot of people were coming and going from the large, ship-remnant structure in the center. Vash held onto her hand tightly as they approached it, like he was afraid she’d vanish.

You did just drop him off and vanish. He might be scared you’ll leave again.

He still had both hands, she realized. Was that loss somewhere in the future? Or had she somehow spared him that by being at the crash? And what would it mean if she had?

What else could I change by leaving here?

They made their way inside. The interior was similar to what she remembered from Ship Three and the one refurbished Ship building she’d been inside during college. It was dirtier, though, still very much a ruin that people just happened to be living in. Some hallways were on strange inclines; no one seemed worried as they moved around, so she assumed it was still structurally sound in there. She hoped so, at least. She noticed Vash’s footsteps slowing until he was hovering next to her. His shoulders developed an anxious hunch as they entered a larger and more open space. Brad’s body language changed, too; he acted casual, but looked ready to intercept…

Who, or what?

The answer came quickly. A lot of people stared Vash’s way as they entered a bigger room full of tables and chairs. None of the stares were hostile–curious at worst, if Meryl had to guess–but it was a lot of attention for a pre-teen with only three years of life experience.

Meryl squeezed Vash’s hand reassuringly. He squeezed back. Despite his initial wariness, when someone smiled and waved at him, he waved back. A few more waves and nods of greeting later, and he was a lot more relaxed. She remembered Vash’s smile at the bar in Jeneora Rock, how happy he’d been to see other people and be accepted by them.

He’s not shy. He likes company. He just knows that he’s different…he knows that other people know. Her heart suddenly ached for him. It wasn’t going to get any easier as he got older; $$6,000,000 tended to make people view you as a payout, not a person. Jeneora Rock had proven that, too.

Poor Vash.

“Stand storm changed directions again, so we may not be going anywhere for a few days,” Brad told Vash as they gathered up their food. Everything was carefully portioned, Meryl noted, not too small, but she’d probably be laughed out of the room if she asked for seconds. Were they trying to avoid putting strain on the Plants, or was this all they had? Or both?

“Will Ship Three be okay?” Vash asked.

“Not our first storm. They’ll be fine.” Brad gave Vash a stern look as they sat down. “You stay inside this time. There are other people to look after the thomases. Got it?”

Vash laughed awkwardly. That sound hadn’t changed at all. “Yeah…” He changed the subject quickly as they sat down. “Claudia, where’d you get that gun?”

Oh, the Derringer. She’d forgotten it was still in her belt. No wonder Brad looked so suspicious. “It was a gift,” she said. “From…my boss.” She was surprised by how steady her voice stayed. Maybe she’d cried all the tears she had in that elevator. “He thought if I was going to keep running off, I should have some protection. I guess I look pretty snack-sized to those bug things.”

“The burrowing ones?”

Meryl shivered. “All of them.”

Brad grunted in a way that said he knew exactly what she meant. Vash, meanwhile… “Some of them are just curious, I think,” he said in between bites of food. “We did land in their house.”

“You call that one that tried to eat you curious?” Brad said skeptically.

“No, that one was hungry. But that’s just nature, right? You can’t…” Vash trailed off suddenly, then stared down at his food. “...you can’t blame them for eating,” he said finally.

Whatever that thought had been, it slowed Vash down. Meryl recognized that look again–closed off, quiet, lost somewhere she couldn’t reach. She’d caught glimpses of it before in the rear view mirror; Vash always noticed her staring and covered it up with a smile. Guess he hasn’t learned how to do that yet…but how is he already so sad? He hasn’t been here long enough for that.

Meryl’s mind scrambled to think of something that could ease the sadness in Vash’s eyes. “So, uh…your thomas. Was he already named Brad?” she asked a bit weakly.

Luck was on her side again; the question got Vash to smile, small but with a hefty spark of mischief to it. “No, I picked that out,” he said.

Brad groaned quietly. “Yeah, you’re a real comedian,” he said. “Just eat your food, okay?”

Vash did finish his meal. It was more of a relief than Meryl had expected.

Almost the second they were done and returning the dishes, they were conscripted into helping close up the settlement. They’d be hit head-on by the sandstorm, they said, and it was a big one. No one was going anywhere for a while. Meryl tried not to flinch at the sudden attention, but fortunately, no one paid her any serious attention. It seemed like there was something to the old act like you belong and no one will question it trick, because as long as she helped and stuck close to Vash, no one gave her a second glance. Everyone here, at least, seemed to trust him when he said she was from another group.

How does he go from that to being a famed outlaw?

Probably because he’s going to outlive everyone here.

Meryl finished tying off the knot she’d been assigned–after school skills camp was finally coming in handy–and glanced Vash’s way. He was growing now, but he’d stop again in just over a decade, if the police’s assessment of his age was accurate. He’d stay the same; everything else around him would change, and a lot of it for the worse.

How lonely must that be?

Frustration at her inability to solve the problem reared its head again, gnawing at her thoughts as she worked. She was sweaty, frustrated, and hungry all over again by the time they finally wrapped everything up and headed back inside for dinner. She knew most of this was unfixable, or at least beyond her ability to fix, but there had to be something she could do. She was tired of just watching things happen. So tired of feeling fragile and useless.

And of course, that was when her arm decided to start hurting. She’d almost forgotten about her burn, but all the moving around and working must have agitated it. She tried to ignore it–she could look at it herself if she ever got any time alone–but that was easier said than done. She started formulating a lie when she noticed Vash glancing at her in concern. Fortunately, she'd come up with a decent one by the time he hesitantly asked if she was okay.

“Actually, is there any first aid stuff I can use? I burned my arm on the way here.”

Trying to be casual about it only half-worked. Brad was calm about it, got a first aid kit and started helping without much fuss. Vash, meanwhile, hovered anxiously near her as she carefully (painfully) peeled off her jacket to survey the damage. She hadn’t really managed to get a good look at it that night; she’d been more worried about Vash than herself, and wasn’t sure what she’d see when the sleeves came out.

Her right arm was surprisingly fine, though still a bit dust-coated. A little red, maybe, but she could pass that off as sun exposure. Her left arm had taken the brunt of the damage: a few smaller burns scattered across her upper arms and forearm like random bullet fire, and the bigger burn on her upper arm was still bright red and inflamed. “You’ve just been walking around like this?” Brad said as he examined the injury.

“We’re short on medicine,” Meryl said. It seemed like a decent excuse, considering the state humanity was in. “I meant to have someone look at it sooner. I just…forgot.”

“Might want to do that tonight. Only so much I can do for this one.” Brad started applying burn cream to the smaller wounds. “You’re lucky it was just your arm.”

Apparently, I’m swimming in luck. Meryl tried to distract herself from the injuries by looking around. Vash was staring at the wound intently. Just as she was about to reassure him that she was okay, his eyes met hers.

He knows.

She couldn’t be sure, but he was definitely underreacting to this. The concern in his eyes was slowly replaced by quiet awe; his head tilted slightly as he looked at her, as if he were trying to figure out what she actually was.

Fortunately, he didn’t ask any questions. Meryl had a feeling that wouldn’t last long.

I just hope I can come up with a good enough cover story.

.

She spent the rest of the evening watching carefully, both for anyone who may have worked out that she wasn’t supposed to be there, for anyone who might try something with Vash, and for her way out.

None of those things happened.

Not only did another portal never appear, but she apparently blended in well enough that she was assigned a bed and given a time slot when she could go get a bath. Meryl suspected she had Vash to thank for her invisibility. A simple she’s with me turned out to be a really good social buffer; basically everyone bought it when he vouched for her. He was decently trusted, if not well-liked. It made things…mostly easier. She felt bad about taking from their limited resources, and worse when Vash found her a change of clothes. He was quick to reassure her that the former owner had passed, so she wasn’t stealing from anyone, and just as quick to realize how disconcerting that reassurance was.

“It’s really not a problem,” he tried again. “Really. They’ve got enough for newcomers.”

Meryl’s desire for clothes that didn’t smell like humanity’s attempted funeral pyre won out over her guilt. “Thanks,” she said, taking the clothes carefully.

“You’re welcome. Uhm..” Vash shifted from foot to foot, suddenly looking lost and uncertain. “I’ll…see you tomorrow?”

She had no idea. For all Meryl knew, she’d be whisked away in her sleep. But she forced a, “Yeah, see you” out anyway before darting off to the showers. No sense in killing Vash’s joy when she didn’t know what would happen.

The showers were apparently spotty at best, so her “bath” was really just a bucket of water in a stall with limited toiletries. Meryl didn’t care; the shower she’d gotten on Ship Three felt like it was a lifetime ago. She still had the ashes of Ship Five in her hair. Even a simple wipedown and awkward hair wash was better than nothing. Between that and fresh clothes, she felt a lot better…but not able to think through her problem. Exhaustion was starting to set in.

When did I sleep last? Over a century in the future? She almost laughed to herself. This is insane.

Despite her exhaustion, she thought for sure she’d have a harder time sleeping. Her thoughts were still buzzing like bees, and the sleep spaces weren’t private. She was on a bottom bunk in a room with a lot of other women, all friendly, but still strangers who might figure out she was an interloper.

Meryl was out like a light within seconds anyway.

She woke up to the sound of other people moving around and grumbling among themselves. It took her a long, awkward moment to remember where she was and why there were so many people there. She sat up straight when the realization finally sank in, her eyes scanning the room.

I’m in the past. Vash is twelve. I’m still here. She looked down at her new, borrowed clothes. White tunic, white pants, both a little big for her, but she was so far the shortest person she’d run into, so that wasn’t unexpected. At least I’ll blend in a little better now.

“I don’t know how you slept so well,” said someone as they climbed down from the bunk above hers–a woman with red hair, green-gray eyes, and eye bags that were probably a permanent fixture. “You were still out every time I woke up.”

Woke up why?

The structure groaned slightly as a gust of wind swept past. Oh. Right. The sandstorm. Meryl could see how it was disconcerting, but she’d grown up hearing those sounds. Every structure she’d ever lived in was stable enough to weather No Man’s storms, but never sounded like it. You got used to it after twenty-three years. These people had only had two. “Deep sleeper,’” she said sheepishly.

“Lucky you. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through a few days of this.”

You and me both. Just for very different reasons.

Everyone seemed to be heading in the same direction, so Meryl followed. The sight of Vash waiting outside the sleeping space was a relief. “Where’s Brad?” Meryl asked.

“He got up earlier. They needed him for engineering stuff.” Vash fell into step next to her, pausing to wave when a few of the other women greeted him. “I was going to help with cloth harvesting after breakfast…if you want your stuff cleaned, I can bring it down.”

Meryl had never been happier to hear a place had laundry. “Do you need an extra pair of hands? I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.”

“What did you do before?”

“Communications.” Another not-technically-a-lie. She was getting too good at those.

“You’ll probably be fine with me, then. Most of the specialized work is for…” Vash bumped into her to avoid running into someone else. “Sorry. Engineers and stuff. To make sure nothing breaks.”

He kept holding onto her sleeve even after he backed off. Meryl decided not to point it out. “Cloth harvesting it is, then. I don’t know anything about keeping things from breaking.” She’d probably make things worse, if her experiences in car maintenance were any indication. “I’ll follow your lead.”

That was how she found herself in a room that had once been some kind of lounge, going through bags of fabric pre-sorted by usability and getting them as clean as possible before they were recycled. It was a process she was familiar with; even in the future, clothes were handed down until they couldn’t be, mended until they couldn’t be, and broken down into whatever was still usable for patches, cleaning rags, whatever. Waste not, want not. That probably went double at a time like this.

She didn’t remember having to deal with this many mystery stains, though.

“This isn’t blood, is it?” she whispered to Vash.

He examined the stain carefully. “Rust,” he said. “It’s fine if it doesn’t come off. That’s a rags bag anyway.”

Meryl breathed a sigh of relief and got to work scrubbing. “So…I assume this isn’t everything you do for fun around here.”

Vash laughed quietly. “No. I have a book I’m reading. The adults play cards, but Brad said I shouldn’t because I don’t have a poker face and I’d just lose all the time. They’ve been surveying when there’s no storms, so I guess if you like walking…”

Meryl snorted. “Yeah, the never-ending sand and rocks are real stimulating.”

“Truuue, but some of the rocks have fossils in them. I’ve got two.”

“Really?”

Vash nodded eagerly. “They said that’s a good thing because if there’s fossils, then there’s probably fossil fuels. But…it’ll probably be a while before they can try to drill for them.”

Yeah, that’s not going to work out as well as they’d hope. Meryl didn’t say that out loud, though.

“One’s just a scale pattern but the other is a whole worm, one of the flying ones. I left them back on the ship so I wouldn’t lose them,” Vash finished as he wrung out a slightly more intact shirt. “If you ever visit…” There was a spark of hope in his eyes. Meryl wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was it really just that she’d saved him two years ago? Was that all it took?

How lonely must he be if it were something that simple?

“Yeah,” Meryl said. “I’d like that.”

Vash beamed.

They were silent for a while afterwards, focused on their tasks. Vash hummed his tune to himself as Meryl finished the last of her assigned bag and started cleaning her own clothes. It didn’t sound so somber this time. It actually sounded happy. It made the process of scrubbing ash and dust out of her jacket a little less grim. She got most of the stains out. She also scrubbed the Bernadelli logos, already faded from her weeks following Vash, down to smudges. Good, she thought. One less thing for people to ask me about.

She’d get a lot of questions when she got back…or, then again, maybe not. She’d been hunting the Humanoid Typhoon, after all. She doubted anyone would be shocked if she came back looking like she’d been through the wringer. Most people would say she was lucky to be alive at all.

Vash let out a startled eep as he nearly knocked over his washtub, just barely catching it in time to avoid getting wet. Meryl bit back a smile. He might’ve looked closer to the adult she knew, but it was still hard sometimes to see how that clumsy kid could grow up into the…still ridiculous and clumsy, but also highly competent adult she’d remembered.

Maybe he could’ve stayed like this if life hadn’t made things so difficult for him.

Everything was hung up to dry, and then they got started on mending. As in the future, mending time really meant gossip with your friends time. Meryl’s first instinct–one she called an investigative urge, but that other people called “being nosy”–was to eavesdrop. Gather as much information as possible. Figure out how this place worked, and what people were worried about two years post-Fall.

…might be a second storm right after…

That’s not normal, right?

I don’t think we can say what counts as “normal” here…

…he just seems a little young to be a plant engineer. I didn’t even know they had kids in cold sleep.

Who cares? We still have power because of him. He could be a bundle of worms in fake human skin for all I care.

Meryl wondered how true that sentiment really was.

“Has everyone been treating you okay?” Meryl asked.

Vash looked up from the patch he was sewing. He had very neat stitches. Meryl was a little jealous. “Yeah. Why?” he said.

“Well, you…” There really was no good way to say you’re not human and that might bother people, was there? “...people can be…unkind if they don’t understand something. It’s not right, but…”

Vash’s gaze stayed a little too focused on the patch for a little too long. “They know I’m here to help,” he said finally, “so it’s fine.” He tried to force a smile. He wasn’t very good at it yet. “You don’t have to worry.”

Meryl thought about the impossibly small infant that clutched at her finger, already so full of joy. About the frightened child, still just small enough for her to carry. She thought about the Vash who smiled at Tonis’s bugs, who pushed her out of the way of danger, who’d insisted on staying in that town to bury a man who had tried to kill him.

What did being helpful have to do with anything? Wasn’t it enough that he was just a kid? Or that he was kind?

Meryl moved in her seat so she was between him and the people who had been speaking about him. “I still will,” she said, “but I’m glad to hear that.”

“You shouldn’t worry.”

“I’m going to. Have there been any other kids your age?”

There hadn’t, but apparently a few women were expecting, despite everything going on.

Meryl wondered if she knew their families.

.

The next time she saw Brad, he nearly passed out into his dinner. Vash kept poking him in the ribs every time his head slouched. “Kid…”

“No sleeping at the table,” Vash said. “Your rule.”

“I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want.”

“Everyone has to follow the rules equally, otherwise what’s the point?”

Brad glared; Vash grinned brightly. “Luida’s letting you get away with too much.”

The lights flickered as a particularly strong gust of wind whistled past. Everyone froze, even when the lights stayed steady. “Vash?” Brad said.

Vash tilted his head, his blue eyes growing distant. “She’s…” He paused, then shuddered violently. Meryl grabbed his hand, but whatever the moment was, it passed quickly. His eyes refocused, his shoulders relaxed, and he squeezed her hand before letting go. “She’s okay. It wasn’t her.”

Brad sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Knew that patch job wasn’t going to hold,” he grumbled.

“Can I…?”

“No, no, you get some sleep. One of us has to.” Brad ate a little faster, finishing up what was left on his plate and standing up with a resigned expression. “Let me know if it is her, okay?”

“Yep.”

A few people started glancing Vash’s way once Brad was out of earshot–curious or wary, Meryl couldn’t tell. She held eye contact with them until they looked away. Vash had noticed their stares, though, and kept his head down in response.

Maybe there’s a reason I’m still here after all.

.

She woke up the next morning to a power outage. It wasn’t any surprise to her that Vash wasn’t there to meet her at the door again; they probably needed him for whatever it was he did with the Plants to help them work. She still felt worried until she ran into him–literally–as she followed the cluster of people brave enough to see if they were still serving breakfast. “Sorry!” Vash blurted. Someone shone a light in their direction; the Plant markings on Vash’s eyes flared briefly as the beam crossed his face. “Are you okay?”

“Bit turned around, but fine…mostly.” This place was eerie in the dark. It didn’t help that a lot of surfaces had permanent marks from the crash. Her mind kept filling in how much worse it must’ve looked in the immediate aftermath. She wasn’t a firm believer in ghosts, but a place like this made it hard not to. “Not a Plant problem?”

Vash shook his head. “It’s…wiring, maybe? Brad wasn’t happy about it. They may have to go outside.”

In all of this? They walked past a window as they moved through the ship-settlement. It was only marginally brighter out, and all that light showed was sand swirling by. “That doesn’t seem safe.”

“It’s that or risk a fire. If they can’t get everything fixed, they'll have to redirect the Plant to something else.” Vash peered out the window and pointed at a barely-visible structure. “She’s in there with the others.”

The distance between them and the Plant storage wasn’t too far logically, but it would probably take twice as long with all this wind. Meryl did not envy anyone who had to go out in that. “So, you and me again today?”

Vash looked up at her and beamed. “Yeah!”

It still took her off guard how normal he could be.

Breakfast was still being served, even if it was cold. They took a detour to bring some food to Brad, who had the same middle-distance exhausted stare Meryl was used to seeing from Roberto (though fortunately, it was the only thing about him that reminded her of Roberto). He didn’t even crack a smile when Vash told him he’d made sure to grab the right cut of jerky for him. His mumbled “thanks” did seem less rough than usual. Meryl thought there was something in Brad’s quick glance away from his food. Less fondness, more…guilt?

Vash didn’t seem to see it. Either that or he was ignoring it. Vash seemed to ignore a lot of things.

The mending circles huddled a lot more closely together, surrounding the handful of rechargeable lights in the space. The lights still weren’t back on by the time they finished, not that they had much left. Meryl found herself fiddling with a square-ish piece of fabric while Vash dug through his bag for something. “...know I packed it, I think it’s just…” His head bobbed back above the surface of the table, then did a double-take. “What is that?”

“Oh, it’s…” Meryl sighed and stared down at the attempt. “I’m…trying to make a crane? Not like the machinery. It’s a kind of old Earth animal, I guess.” She nearly started undoing her work, but Vash was staring at it so intently that she couldn’t bring herself to wreck it in front of him. “My mom showed me how to make them. It works better with paper.” A part of her cringed at doing it, but she pulled out her notebook and carefully tore out a square-ish piece from one of the empty back pages. “See, like this…”

The movements were automatic, even in the low light. Meryl must’ve made dozens of them throughout her life. Vash’s eyes stayed fixed on her hands, somehow growing wider and wider the longer it went on. “Like that, see?” She passed him the finished product. “Head, wings, tail…obviously, they didn’t look exactly like that, but…”

Vash held the crane carefully. “That’s beautiful,” he said quietly. “Your mom showed you?”

“Yeah, back when I was a kid.” The sudden ache of homesickness was accompanied by a deep sense dread. Her parents would flip if they learned about this. They worried about her back when she was just running around the office giving out coffee. Now she’d been sent to the past while chasing down Vash the Stampede. Good thing this whole situation was so unbelievable; she’d only have to lie about the rest of it. She shoved that thought away and kept talking: “There’s a legend that says if you fold one thousand of them, you’ll get one wish granted.”

Vash’s fingers brushed over the wings. “...I don’t think we have enough paper for that,” he said quietly.

Meryl wondered what he would wish for if they did. For Rem to come back? For his brother to stop being evil? For an end to all of this? Now she felt bad for bringing it up, like she’d given him false hope. “There’s other designs you can make,” she said. “Like…maybe…” She finally unfolded her first cloth attempt and tried something else. “This might work a bit better.”

The resulting box was lopsided and didn’t want to stay upright, but it was enough for Vash to understand what she was trying for. Vash was still fascinated, despite how bad it looked. He eagerly told her he’d be right back, ran off, and returned with a solid handful of some wrinkled but mostly flat metallic paper. “Would these work? They haven’t figured out how to recycle them yet.”

It looked like the packages for sanitary bandages. The phrase do not use if seal is broken printed in multiple languages was a bit of a giveaway. “That should, actually.” It wasn’t quite paper, but it held a crease. “I think that’ll be perfect.”

Vash was a fast and eager learner. Meryl showed him boxes, cranes, butterflies (like worms, but prettier), and hearts. She tore a longer piece into strips and showed him how to make stars, which Vash really liked. He probably would have been content to keep making those the rest of the day had the power not come back on. Murmured thanks to assorted deities broke out around the room. Even Vash looked more relaxed. “She’s fine,” Meryl heard him whisper to himself. Then, when he noticed the look on her face, “Yeah, she’s fine!”

Oh.

Meryl knew that look.

But they were out in public around a lot of other people, so she decided not to ask. Not then, not at lunch, not when they got roped into helping sort cuts of worm meat (definitely not then, since she was too focused on not gagging to talk), and not at dinner, when a somehow even less chatty than usual Brad finally rejoined them. The closest thing to a response Vash was able to get out of him was when Vash showed him the origami they’d worked on. “It’s cool, right?”

Brad looked at the pieces and grunted. It seemed like a “yes” grunt. Vash definitely seemed to take it that way. He plucked one of the little stars out of his box and stuck it in Brad’s pocket. “There,” he said cheerfully. “Now you have one, too. For luck.”

Brad stared at Vash as if he’d started speaking gibberish…but he didn’t take the star out of his pocket, either. In fact, his next grumble almost sounded like a “thanks.”

Maybe Vash is right. Maybe he is just terse.

It wasn’t a surprise when Brad turned in early. Meryl was a little relieved; it finally gave her a chance to talk to Vash alone. “Are you worried about the Plants?” Meryl asked. It was an easy first guess; they were sitting next to one of the ship’s few windows, Meryl jotting down her notes on the situation so far, Vash staring out the window with a book that he’d never actually opened (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, a story Meryl suddenly felt a strange affinity for despite having never read it in full). He held the book to his chest and stared out where the Plant building probably was.

“...a little?” Vash said. “It’s…I’m sure everything is…”

There it was again. If this were the future, Vash would be deflecting with a goofy smile and a well-timed change of subject. Here and now, his responses were too slow, his anxious body language too obvious. “You can tell me,” Meryl said as she tucked her notepad away. See? Off the record. “I won’t even tell Brad if you don’t want me to.”

Vash tucked his knees up to his chest. “I…I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “I still feel kinda shaky, but I don’t know if I’m feeling something from them or if it’s from me.”

“Shaky, like…hungry? Tired? Nervous?”

“...a little bit nervous?”

Probably more than a little bit. “Why? Is it something I…”

Vash immediately shook his head. “No, no, not you! I actually feel a lot better now that you’re here.” He smiled at her gratefully before looking back out the window. “I wasn’t expecting Brad to be so busy this trip. He doesn’t usually leave me alone this much.”

She remembered Brad’s suspicion when he first saw her, the way he seemed to scan every group that got too close or stared too long. “...has Brad been keeping people from bothering you?”

“No…I mean, not here…”

“But he has other places.”

Vash didn’t answer. Meryl didn’t need any of her journalism classes to put the pieces together. “Do they know?” she asked softly.

“Some do. Some…only know a little.” His blue eyes met Meryl’s. For the first time this entire conversation, he looked nervous. “Does it bother you?”

“What? No, no, no.” She felt guilty for a second, horrifically guilty. Vash didn’t know about this yet, but she still wished she hadn’t reacted the way she had on the sand steamer, that she hadn’t frozen in place and looked at him with…fear? Confusion? She still didn’t know how she’d felt then, but it was definitely something that could be mistaken for fear. Fear for something he couldn’t control. Fear for something he hadn’t asked for. “I don’t know everything about you, but that doesn’t mean it bothers me. I just…have to learn. Nothing wrong with that. That’s how everyone should be acting. And if they’re not…you don’t have to put up with it.” Vash immediately looked skeptical. “Yeah, I know, that can be hard. I have to do it, too. It’s not the same thing, but people underestimate me all the time.”

“Why?!”

“I’m new at my job. I’m only twenty-three…don’t look at me like that! That’s young for an adult!” Meryl had to bite back a laugh at the baffled look on Vash’s face. A twenty-ish year age gap probably seemed ancient to him. “The point is…I can’t always make them change their minds, and maybe I’m not always right, but I told myself when I started doing this that I wasn’t going to let people talk over me. Even if I can’t change their minds…” She tapped her chest. “...it’s important to remind myself. You know?”

Vash seemed to think about what she said, then nodded. “Yeah…yeah, I think I know what you mean.”

Meryl wasn’t sure he sounded convinced. She thought about asking, but something in his eyes said that door was closed. She’d only make things worse if she tried to force it out of him. Give it time. Look for another way in. But for now…

“Is the book good?”

Vash hugged it more tightly to him and smiled sadly. “Not as good as the first time I heard it.”

Meryl pictured a much younger Vash safe in his bed, dropping off to sleep as the woman from the ship told him a story. About every second of childhood that had been torn away from him.

She could see how it wouldn’t be as good now.

.

The next day had all the controlled chaos of a sand steamer station right before departure.

The first of the sandstorms was about to blow over, leaving a small gap before the second one hit. People scrambled to check equipment, repair damage, even leave if they were heading away from the storm. Brad and Vash weren’t in that group; the path back to Ship Three took them right through where the storm was coming from. They’d be staying put a little longer. Brad was assisting with repairs, leaving Meryl and Vash to stay out of the way.

Second storm’s coming, they’re calling everyone inside now…

Just wish we still had radar…

Are we sure everything is secure?

Vash was holding tightly to her hand again. A gust of wind, sharp as a warning shot, made the wall behind them tremble. Vash’s head shot up, his body going tense. “What?” Meryl asked, suddenly nervous.

“I need to find Brad.”

He was on her feet and dragging her after him before she had time to ask questions. Meryl kept holding on and helped him force his way through the crowds. No sign of Brad, but someone did see them. “Hey! Hey, kid!” Someone in a knit sweater that was almost as much patch as it was sweater ran over. “This is bad, right?”

He was holding a glass of…honestly, Meryl wasn’t sure what it was. Vash reached out to take it, his hand suddenly flinching back as they touched the glass. “Where did you get that?” he asked.

“Out of the faucet.” Meryl reached for the glass carefully. She worked out why Vash had flinched away; it was cold. She’d only had ice cream or shaved ice a handful of times, but she remembered how cold it was. This felt even colder than that. The texture of the substance, now that she was looking at it, seemed like semi-melted shaved ice, except the frozen parts were more jagged and harsh. “I’m not a Plant expert, but I don’t think it’s supposed to look like that.”

“I…” Vash looked over his shoulder, back towards the front door. “Have you seen Brad?”

“No, we were hoping he was with you.”

“He was with a group working on the electricity plant,” Meryl said as she tilted the partially-frozen fluid. “I don’t know if they’ve come back…Vash!”

He’d let go of her hand and taken off running. Meryl passed the water glass back and went after him, back through the crowds, this time going in the opposite direction. She lost sight of him pretty quickly, but deep in her gut she knew where he was going.

She really hated being right.

“Hey! Kid! Hey!”

By the time Meryl caught up, Vash was already out the door and running full speed for the Plant building. Meryl scrambled to a halt at the doorway, her eyes widening at the scene. Vash was well-lit from the sun being directly overhead, but the storm was so close that it darkened the sky directly in front of him. He was running straight towards it; if he was fast enough, he might make it, but…

No, I’m not taking that risk.

There was a line of cord connecting the downed ship to the Plant building. Meryl could see chest harnesses that allowed people to clip themselves to the line. She grabbed one and started throwing it on as she ran out the door, ignoring the shouts of warning that followed her. Come on, come on… There were too many straps on the damn thing; getting it on while staying close to the line and keeping an eye on Vash took more time than she would’ve liked. The wind picked up as the storm came closer and closer, like an incoming grand worm ready to swallow her.

Come on!

She got the harness secured. She clipped it to the line and ran faster. “Vash!”

Vash finally seemed to register how close the storm was. He hesitated, looking up at the storm and then back to her. Vash turned around and ran towards her, a look of panic on his face.

Meryl grabbed him just as the storm hit.

The initial wall of wind nearly knocked her off her feet–probably would have, if she hadn’t been strapped to the lead. As it was, the panicked part of her wasn’t sure it would hold. They were closer to the Plant building than the main structure, and she had a feeling Vash would try to fight her if she went back, so she kept pushing forward, eyes closed, hoping that she wasn’t inhaling too much sand.

Please, please, please…

Her eyes flew open when hands grabbed her shoulders, unclasping the harness and dragged them inside. The door shut behind them. “Are you two okay?!” someone said.

Meryl gasped. She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until then. It hadn’t helped much–the inside of her mouth and nose still felt gritty–but she guessed it was better than nothing. “I’m okay,” she said. “I’m okay…Vash?”

He coughed fiercely as he carefully let go of her. “...I think I owe you two now,” he said with a shaky smile.

I think this makes us even, actually. But she couldn’t say that. He’d figure it out later.

“Well, that was…exciting, but I’m glad you’re here,” said one of the crew members. “The water Plant…”

That was all he needed to say. Vash sneezed once, hard, and dusted himself off. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

He was all business as he followed the crew members, much more like the adult Meryl remembered. She had to struggle to keep up with their long strides. “The tank is still blue, but its vitals are abnormal,” said the crew member. “The output tubes have started freezing, too. We’ve got engineers looking for structural issues with the tank, but…”

“Right. I’ll ask her.” Vash said it so casually. It was strange to think that he didn’t have to hide here, even if that came with its own downsides. Meryl jogged to catch up, hovering close to Vash’s side just in case any of those stares became a little too curious.

The Plant room itself, as always, evoked a certain amount of awe. Meryl hadn’t been in many, but there was always something about them–the grandeur of the lost technology, the alien build of the Plants, the knowledge of what they could do and how much humanity depended on them. One was curled up in her bulb still, but the other…

Vash broke away from Meryl and jogged to the second tank. The Plant inside was partially unfurled, the inner body visible but still curled up. Knees up to chest. Arms wrapped around them. It reminded her of how Vash sat when he was tired. The Plant lifted her head slightly as Vash approached. “I’m sorry,” Vash whispered as he rested his hands against the tank. “I hear you…”

The Plant reached out to him. The room seemed to go completely still as their hands touched. Vash slowly began to light up–not just his face, but stretching down his neck, his arms, even down his exposed ankles and the top of his feet.

The adrenaline rush came back, just like it had the first time. She was able to analyze it a bit more this time. It felt less like fear and more like sheer confusion. Her mind didn’t want to accept it as real. A human shouldn’t look that way. A Plant shouldn’t look that way. Vash existed somewhere in the middle, standing with both hands on the tank, humming gently as he met the Plant’s eyes.

But the feeling of wrongness faded more quickly this time. It was just Vash, Vash and his song, and whatever the Plant was saying back to him. Nothing dangerous about it.

It was just Vash.

Vash suddenly leaned away from the tank, looking up above him. “Something’s coming loose up there,” he said. “She can hear it rattling.”

Someone swore; crew members broke off to go check on the machinery that covered the ceiling. Meryl, meanwhile, risked stepping closer to Vash and the tank. He’d gone back to looking at the Plant. Her face remained impassive, but as she got closer, Meryl noticed the way her markings seemed to…pulse, almost like an anxious heartbeat. “...so, she’s okay?” she asked.

Vash glanced at her, then back to the Plant. “She will be, I think. They just need to get that fixed.” The skin in between the lines on his face grew pink. “I just wish I’d come sooner.”

“It’s not your fault.” Meryl looked away from him and up at the Plant. The Plant’s eyes stayed fixed on Vash. “What’s she saying?”

“Nothing right now, not really. She’s just…” He chewed on his lower lip, then glanced at her again. “Hey, uhm. Do you mind trying something?”

“...sure?”

Vash pulled one hand away from the tank and held it out to her. Meryl took it carefully, letting Vash press it over where the Plant’s other hand remained. “Do you feel anything?”

Meryl stared at the set of three hands–Vash’s, his touch light and careful; the Plant’s, all long fingers and pulsing markings; and her own, sandwiched between them, looking somehow wrong in comparison. She wasn’t supposed to be there.

But Vash had let her in, hadn’t he?

Meryl closed her eyes and tried to focus on the sensation. Without her eyesight getting in the way, she felt something vibrating against her hand from both sides. The vibrations were different, like the delay of an echo, or the alternating notes of a chord. It was like holding her hand against a speaker and feeling the vibrations of the voice or song–not a song she recognized, not any words she recognized, but…

“Something…humming? Vibrating? Is that you two?”

Vash’s fingers jerked slightly in surprise. “You can feel it?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

When she opened her eyes, Vash looked excited. The markings on his face pulsed like the Plant’s, but she got the impression it was eagerness, not distress. The humming from his hand matched it, and slowly the Plant’s humming did, too. “I thought that you might, I just…wasn’t sure…” He looked back at the Plant in the tank, beaming. “...you can hear her.”

The Plant was staring at her. Meryl suddenly felt very self-conscious, the way she did when meeting someone’s parents for the first time. She waved sheepishly. The Plant blinked slowly, her head tilting slightly. “Is that good or bad?” Meryl whispered.

Vash laughed quietly. “It’s good. I was telling her you’re a friend.”

“Oh.” That didn’t make the stare feel any less piercing, though. Did the Plant know, somehow? Could she sense that Meryl wasn’t supposed to be here? She had been sent there by something related to Vash’s powers, after all. Maybe another Plant would know.

How do I ask him about all of that without sounding suspicious?

The sound of clanging and cursing caught her off guard. The vibration against her palm suddenly felt so sharp and agitated that she yanked her hand away instinctively. It was like holding a very live, very angry worm in her hands, feeling its stinger scrape the skin without piercing it. “Are you okay?” Vash asked.

“I’m fine, just…” She flexed her hand carefully, “Really felt that.” She looked up, not at a sound, but a sudden absence of sound. There had been this grating humming coming from somewhere in the ceiling; she had just assumed that was normal until it suddenly wasn’t there.

Vash breathed out a heavy sigh. “There…see? All better.” The Plant must have thought so, because she started curling back up immediately. “There you go.”

It was so strange, watching her repeat back into that orb. So strange to think that all this time, there had been something alive in there, something that could…respond, given the right stimulus. A thousand questions suddenly flooded her mind. Could the Plants understand human speech? Human facial expressions? They didn’t seem to emote with their faces much, not that she had noticed. Before she could ask, one of the crew members approached Vash. “Did that do it?”

“I think so. They’re noise-sensitive. That’s all.”

The relief in the room was palpable. It could’ve been worse and everyone knew it. At least she hadn’t gone red. I never did find out what that meant. The Beast had talked about a Last Run that Millions Knives was saving them from, but…what did that mean?

There’s so much I don’t know. She was starting to wonder if anyone really knew. Vash may have been the only one who did.

Now that the crisis was averted and everyone had calmed down, it was decided that Vash and Meryl had to stay overnight. The storm was too strong for them to make a return trip, and they wanted Vash closeby in case something happened. They’d basically be sleeping on the floor, but Meryl had gotten a lot of practice sleeping in weird places on her impromptu road trip to find Vash the Stampede. At least in here, there was less chance of a worm getting in and crawling on her while she slept.

Ugh…

“You can ask.”

“Hmm?” Meryl swallowed down a mouthful of soup. “What?”

“If you want to know anything. I saw how you looked earlier. I don’t mind if you ask.”

“Are you sure?”

Meryl watched Vash’s reaction carefully. He didn’t seem withdrawn, his smile wasn’t forced, and, perhaps most tellingly, he kept eating as he answered. “You said you wanted to learn, right?”

She did. She really did. This seemed one of the safest places to do it, considering the subject matter.

“Okay, well…if you don’t want to answer anything, you don’t have to.” She took a deep breath. “But…okay, how does this…work? Where did you…come from?”

“No one knows. Independents just kind of show up. If there’s a way to tell if a Plant is pregnant, no one’s been able to record it or anything.” Vash’s nose wrinkled. “I don’t even know if they get pregnant. I could’ve just been made. Weird, right?”

“All babies are pretty weird, to be fair.” You were a cute little kid, though. She wasn’t sure she could say that, so she moved on. “When you talk to the Plants, do you hear words? Are the vibrations like another language?”

Vash inhaled deeply, his brow scrunching in thought. “...noooo? It’s…hard to explain. You know how if you know someone really, really well, you know what they’re thinking without them having to say it? It’s…kinda like that?” His spoon tapped against the side of his bowl. “It’s hard to describe unless you’ve actually experienced it.” The spoon tapped faster, then stopped. “Oh! Oh, it’s like instrumental music. Because there’s no words, but you still know what it means.”

That made sense the more she thought about it. “So you know exactly what they’re trying to say…that must help with misunderstanding.”

“Sometimes, but then sometimes I say something too human-y and they don’t get it. Like…what sour is. They really don’t get eating, at all.”

“So they don’t get fed anything in there?” There weren’t any tubes attached to the Plants themselves, nowhere they could eat. She’d always just assumed the liquid they were suspended in had nutrients or something they could absorb.

“No. Everything they need comes from…” Vash paused again. “...it’s like…a bright light? Like the sun, almost. All Plants are connected to it, even me. They get everything they need from it.” He suddenly looked self-conscious. “Except me. I still need to eat and sleep.”

But Millions Knives doesn’t. Conrad had talked about that. She wondered what else they didn't have in common, what it all meant. “Is it okay if I write this all down? I think better when I write.”

“That’s fine.” Vash looked curiously at her notebook. “Does it really help? Luida gave me one, but I don’t know how to start.”

Funny; she didn’t picture him as the journaling type. Her mind skipped to a memory of one morning when she’d miraculously woken up at the same time Vash did. He’d stretched out, sat cross-legged by their dead campfire, and stared out over the landscape, body relaxed. She remembered freezing in place, worried she was going to interrupt his prayer, meditation, whatever it was. But in less than a minute…

Whelp. That’s enough. And suddenly he was on his feet, walking a safe distance away from his camp to start doing push-ups. Apparently, he did that every morning. You have to keep your skills up, you know? He seemed to prefer staying in motion. Not the kind of mentality that led to sitting down and journaling. Then again, she could’ve been wrong. Maybe he did, and he’d just given it up when he moved off the ship. You probably didn’t want to keep a book of your darkest secrets in your pocket when you were on the run from military police.

“It can,” Meryl said. “I don’t think there’s really a right way. I just try to write everything down and figure it out after. It’s easier when it’s not just stuck in my head.” That went for stray facts and her feelings, sometimes.

Maybe I should get back into journaling. She’d been so busy with work lately. She was sure there was a lot in there to pick through.

Meryl put that thought aside and started scribbling down everything Vash had told her. She asked more questions. How far away do you have to be until you can’t hear them anymore? (Pretty far, actually.) Do they have names? (Not like how humans did, but every Plant he’d met had their own feeling.) Do they understand humans? (Some more than others, it seemed to depend on if the humans talked to them regularly.) Do they understand that you’re different? (Yeah, they know.) The most interesting thing she learned was what he meant by helping the Plants. The more they used their powers, the weaker their connection to that light that kept them alive became. He could strengthen those connections, repair them, basically give them a second chance. He couldn’t explain how, but so far, he’d been able to help every sick Plant he’d ever met.

“But if they…stopped producing,” Meryl said, “would that work?”

Vash thought about it, then shuddered. “I think,” he said, “they’d live. But I don’t think they’d be comfortable. They always feel so weak and sad when I help them. I wouldn’t want to leave them like that forever.”

Meryl thought about the rows of red Plants in July City. Did Millions Knives know that he was keeping them in pain or discomfort? She didn’t think letting them die was right, either, but…why not reach out to Vash to help them? Why just take them away and leave them like that? Did he have a plan or did he just not know any better?

Of course, she couldn’t ask Vash about that. Most of the questions she didn’t ask were about Knives. Did the other Plants know about him, about what he had done? Did any of the humans? Could Vash sense him, too? There were other questions, too, things that might help her piece together what had happened in July, but she couldn’t think of a good way to ask. As far as Vash knew, she only knew that he was an Independent Plant. She couldn’t start asking very specific questions about powers he didn’t even know he had yet. It would blow her cover, maybe even scare him.

It was frustrating, but she tried to console herself with what she had. She’d probably learned more about Vash the Stampede than anyone back in the future had. Even if she never shared that knowledge with anyone–and she definitely had no plans to–it was something.

Maybe one day she’d be able to figure him out entirely.

.

They had to sleep on mats near the Plants. Meryl was so tired after all the excitement of the morning that she dropped off almost immediately, even with the blue light of the tanks still illuminating the room.

She woke up the next morning with the strangest feeling gnawing at her mind.

She’d had a dream, she knew that much. It hadn’t been a nightmare…it clung to her like one, but she’d woken up feeling soothed, comforted, not afraid. It was only as she recalled the details that those feelings seemed strange.

In her dream, she’d opened her eyes to a space that reminded her of Ship Three’s flora garden. The layout was a little different, though–she didn’t remember Ship Three having such a large tree in the center–and the glass dome didn’t show the blue skies and clouds of No Man’s Land. Instead, she saw stars, more stars than she’d ever seen even in the middle of the desert, pinning up a sky of pure black.

Music drifted over the space. It wasn’t any instrument Meryl knew–more like a chorus of choices, singing the notes in perfect harmony. Vash’s song, she realized. She felt like she was floating as she walked down the path, trying to find the source. A few times, it felt like something was watching her. She’d glance up at the dome, catch a glimpse of something that was almost wing-like, a hand retreating from the glass, the feeling that the stars were eyes…but she never saw anything concrete.

One of the voices changed suddenly, breaking off from the chorus, the wordless humming turning into lyrics.

…on the first evening, a pebble from somewhere drops upon the world…

There was someone else on the path. She could only see his back from this distance, but she knew him. Pale hair, small and young again, his white clothes unblemished by the fire of Ship Five. Only a child.

So, on the second evening, the children of the pebble join hands and compose a waltz…

The song didn’t quite fit, but she had a feeling it wasn’t meant to. He was singing for someone else. Trying to call them back to him.

So, on the third evening… He stopped to pick a flower. Bright red, just like his coat. …the children of the waltz make waves upon -

“Vash?”

He stopped and turned around. “Oh,” he said. “Sorry, Claudia.”

“What?”

The next thing Meryl knew, it was morning. Vash was carefully shaking her shoulder and asking if she liked coffee. He looked normal, but for a long second, she felt like he shouldn’t.

It could have been nothing, but she wrote the dream down anyway. It felt…important. It didn’t occur to her until she’d recounted the entire thing, but…

I feel like I was allowed to see it.

Meryl stared at the sentence. She almost crossed it out.

She didn’t.

She almost asked Vash about it, but she didn’t do that, either. A few times she thought he was going to ask her something, but he never did.

Maybe that was for the best.

.

The storm lightened up enough by lunch that they could make their way back to the main structure–this time with both of them in harnesses, cloth masks, and goggles. Brad was waiting at the door. Saying he looked unhappy would be an understatement. “Do you have a death wish?” he asked.

Meryl was glad for the mask; it did a good job of hiding her wince. Vash, meanwhile, just laughed awkwardly. “Sorry…”

“I leave you alone for five minutes…”

“Hey, it wasn’t the thomases this time. I did listen.”

“Drop the rules lawyer act. You could’ve gotten killed.”

“He was just trying to help,” Mery interrupted. Brad was right to worry, she knew, but it seemed a little harsh. “The water Plant needed his help. It was an emergency.”

Brad gave her a long look; Vash’s grip on her arm tightened, as if he were trying to keep her from jumping into a fight. To Meryl’s surprise, though…

“I don’t want you getting hurt.” It wasn’t quite Brad relenting, but his tone felt more concerned, less aggravated. “Okay? Just…get me first.”

“Yes, sir.” Vash relaxed slightly. “Sorry.”

“You’re lucky she was crazy enough to run after you.”

Vash beamed at her. “Yeah, she’s pretty great.”

“It was nothing,” Meryl said quickly. “Anyone could’ve done it.” And I had to. I couldn’t save you in the future. I had to do it now.

She didn’t think she could live with herself otherwise.

There was some good news later, for Vash and Brad at least. Unless the storm made any unexpected moves, they would be able to leave the next morning. It was good to think that Vash would be safe again soon, but Meryl didn’t miss how he stuck a bit closer to her after their meal. There was an unasked question in his eyes, one that she was pretty sure she could guess.

What are you going to do?

Honestly, she didn’t know. She was surprised no portal had come to whisk her away by now. Last time, it had been pretty obvious why it may have appeared–Vash was safe, Meryl had carried him out of the wreckage, no need for her to stick around. This time, she wasn’t sure what the end goal was. Keeping him company? Making sure he wasn’t hurt in the sandstorm? Maybe once he had left for Ship Three…

I wish I knew. This whole situation was still barely manageable. She felt like she was floating in a mass of quicksand, only kept aloft by dumb luck.

I wish I knew what to tell you.

She tried to make up for that lack of knowledge by being extra supportive. They made a little more origami. She listened while Vash read to her from his book. (Something about the way he read some lines felt familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.) When it was time to go to bed, they took the long way to the sleeping sections. They walked in silence at first, but as they got closer…

“Hey, Claudia?”

“Yeah?” Meryl braced herself for the inevitable question. Her mind scrambled to think of a good lie or deflection. Hopefully something that could dull the pain of her answer.

But maybe Vash saw the hesitation in her eyes, or maybe he knew, somehow, because the question that came out instead was, “Is…it okay if I give you a hug?”

Oh. That was almost worse. “Yeah, of course.”

Vash’s arms wrapped tightly around her. He was already taller than her, but in that moment, he felt so small again. “Thanks for everything,” Vash said.

Emotion swelled up in her chest, the same feeling she’d felt outside of Jeneora Rock. She hugged him back just as tightly. Don’t cry. You’ll just upset him. “You’re welcome,” she said. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Not tomorrow. She couldn’t promise that. But later, she could promise.

“Okay,” Vash whispered. He held on a little longer; when he pulled away, he was smiling his hiding the sadness smile. It looked even worse on such a young face. “I’ll see you.”

He only made it a few steps before he turned back around. Before Meryl could ask what was wrong, he pressed something into her hand, hugged her one last time, and jogged away. When Meryl opened her palm, she saw one of Vash’s crooked little paper stars.

For luck.

Despite the ache in her chest, Meryl smiled. “Thanks, Vash,” she whispered.

She’d need all the extra luck she could get.

.

Meryl sat up suddenly.

The wind had finally died down. Everyone around her slept soundly. But there, in the center of the room, she saw a slice of darkness, darker than the shadows around it.

TIme to go. No sense in hesitating this time. She changed into her own clothes and left the borrowed clothes folded at the foot of the bed. One of the paper cranes she’d made with Vash fell out of her notebook as she slipped it in her pocket, but instead of putting it back, she left it on the clothes. Hopefully he’d see it if he came back to say goodbye again.

II’ll see you later.

The portal was quiet this time…or, more accurately, Meryl didn’t hear her name. Instead, she noticed that the air around it seemed to vibrate. Like the humming of a speaker.

Like Vash, talking to the Plant.

She’d have to write that down later. Meryl filed the thought away, braced herself, and stepped through.

What have you got for me this time?

#trigun #trigun stampede #fic: the unknowable tomorrow

[scorpion-flower]

Hi, Scorpion-Flower, I just wanna ask. About how you feel about the Cleopatra 'doc'. Because I remember you sayin' that Beastars on Netflix needed better Greek translations. So, since Cleo was Macedonian Greek. And you're well Greek. I wanted your POV on it. That's all. :)

Love, Lindsay

You can answer this privately if you like. I just wanted to your POV.

Hi!

Beastars needed better translation/subtitles (there is no greek dub of Beastars or literally any other Netflix movie or tv show)

I haven't watched the new Cleopatra doc, but I know that it has sparked a big controversy because the woman who plays Cleopatra is black, and Cleopatra being mostly greek because, you know, incest among the royal family, wouldn't be.

Listen, I wouldn't have a problem if Cleopatra was a fictional character, like Disney's live action version of Ariel is. Damn, I didn't have a problem even when black actors potrayed Achilles, Patroclus and Nestor on Troy: Fall of a city. But unlike them, she was an actual person, and this being a doc, will probably make people believe that it's 100% accurate. I believe even the director was like "I don't care what you were taught in school, Cleopatra was black." That's not an attitude to have when you make a documentary series.

While Hollywood is far from having a "blackwashing" problem (something that conservatives believe to exist *eye roll*) I believe that those who are behind the creation of movies and the such, also don't have the guts to make stories of actual black people, and they find it easier to kinda bastardise non black people's history. Why make a documentary about a black person only to have it fade into obscurity, when you can cast a black person to play the role of a well known person, even when they were not black? It's like they're trying to catch people's eyes instead of doing it for inclusivity's sake.

And if said shows fail, they can always blame it on people's racism (which is true to an extent) or even on the black actors that agreed to take on the role. Look what happened with that tv series where Anne Boleyn was played by a black actress. It was a total failure and the main actress was blamed for it. Same with Troy: Fall of a city. Everyone got stuck on the fact that Achilles was played by a black actor, but they ignored so many things that were bad, writing and directing wise.

So yeah, I feel like black actors playing people who were white, are being used as the easy way to make people to tune in, and as the easy scapegoat in case people hate it. Colour blind casting is a different thing, and the biggest example that I have about it, is the musical Six, which is fantastic and I don't care that many of the actresses are not white (the fact that the creative team behind it has a "This is an alternate reality, not history" attitude, unlike the creative team behind the Cleopatra doc, helps a lot.)

From what I have seen, Greeks are not the only people who feel a bit iffy about the casting of a black actress. I haven't seen great reviews by Egyptians either. In fact, under every documentary on Ancient Egypt that I have watched on YouTube, there are comments made by African-Americans stating that Ancient Egyptians were black, only for actual Egyptians to correct them (from what I have heard, some dynasties were black, some were brown and some were white - like the Ptolemaic dynasty- ) so to me, it makes sense that they would also not be pleased with the documentary's inaccuracy.

I hope this whole mess of a text makes sense and I hope I've provided the info that you wanted. To be clear, I don't have a problem with the actress who plays Cleopatra, she's only doing her job. My problem lies with the people who claim to know the "actual history" but don't.

#scorpion-flower #disneyprincessbuffyannesummers #we were the kings and the queues #ask #cleopatra #queen cleopatra #ancient egypt #documentaries

[digitaldiscipline]

If there were any lingering questions about "did I forget to take my meds the night before last?" those were answered affirmatively by the bumper crop of dreamery last night, when I definitely took them.

Beginning with a visit to a new and revamped version of my old gym, seeing a bunch of lifty friends (VICCCC gets a shoutout for some spectacular donut-themed leggings on the deadlift platform) for a squat and deadlift session (while being careful because I'm old and out of shape), there were also some new faces.

One of those new faces was also an office worker named Prashanthi that one of my office colleagues (remote via camera phone) and I ended up interviewing the next day, where it wasn't at all clear whether she even wanted the job, but we went through the process at her desk anyway, assisted by some of her current team doing improv as users in need of support under my direction. Since she was also the first candidate we spoke with, I don't know if we ended up hiring her or leaving her to continue happily peacocking around her original office.

She and I then ended up in an episode of Doctor Who (Tennant era), where I was no longer me, but Rose Tyler, and it was one of those episodes that didn't make sense until the last five minutes due to time-hopping shenanigans of the "The Doctor is being clever and pulling me through time, gradually getting closer and closer to synchrony for the denouement" variety.

I got to re-watch the episode in @i12yo's living room with them immediately afterward, but it was still a little muddled because we didn't have the subtitles on.

Sometime after that, I ended up in a very odd backyard renovation situation, trying to give a walk through to the contractors who were there to pressure treat all the wood (fencing, garden lumber, and whatnot) about what the random cement, grass, and other sections were for, and they said they wouldn't begin work until all of the Matchbox cars scattered around a portion of the property covered in gravel were picked up.

... and then one of the cats horked up a hairball and woke me up.

[seylaaurora]

hi 😊 can i ask you something about the german language?? so i'm watching this old black and white movie and I'm trying to decide what a character is saying, but it's driving me mad!! The sentence starts off making sense (something along the lines of "I'm passing on this thing [to you]"), but it ends in what I understand as "... von denen da, die vor dir waren." I'm not a native speaker and I admit i kind of filled in the "da, die vor" bit to make it make sense with the sounds I'm hearing coming off the character's mouth (the subtitles are only available in english and it reads "from those who have come before you") ... does it make any sense you think grammar wise?

Thank you so much im voraus 🥰

"von denen da, die vor dir waren" makes perfect sense grammatically! I assume what is making you doubt it making sense is the fact that right in front of the comma and the "die", which implies that the "die" is referring back to what comes in front of the comma while "da" is not something that you'd refer to as "die".

"Von denen da, die vor dir waren" would literally mean "from those *there* who have come before you" and the "da" means "there"

You can see that in the English sentence, the "who" still refers to "those" before the "there", and it behaves exactly the same way in the German version.

Now take out the "da" in the German sentence: you get "von denen, die vor dir waren" and then the connection becomes clearer. A word-for-word translation (in a way you should never do, but English and German are occasionally close enough that you can do this) would read "from those who before you were"

I hope this helps you 😅 If it's not what you're confused about or I didn't write this in a clear way (it's so weird to talk about German grammar in English haha) you can drop me another message and I can explain more haha🤗

#seyla interacts #anon #seyla talks #this is a two language system #german grammar anon

[purplesurveys]

1757

What can you smell right now?   I can't really make out a scent in my room.

What was the last thing you bought online?   Heh, just K-pop albums. Got Jungkook's album, all versions as usual.

If you drink coffee, when was the last time you went a day without having one?   I think there was a day sometime last week where I didn't have the time to fix myself a cup.

Do you have any appointments coming up?   Not til the next month.

Do you put appointments in your phone's calendar app to remember them?   Nah, I just backread through my chat threads since that's usually how I book appointments now.

Will you be visiting anyone's house in the next week or so?   I doubt it. The only other house I visit these days (besides family) is Angela's, and we don't have any plans made any time soon.

Have you ever been to a petting zoo? What animals did you pet? I haven't been to one and don't think I'll ever be interested in visiting.

What was the last movie you saw in theatres?   It wasn't a movie, but the last thing I booked tickets for was BTS' Busan concert. I don't really feel the urgency to catch anything else in the theatres since they'll usually be out in no time in any one of the streaming services anyway.

Do you know anyone who has done a PhD?   Apart from a number of my professors, no one I know personally.

How many unread emails are in your inbox right now? On my personal email, a little under 2,200. I always clear out my work emails so it's always at 0, but I would guess that anywhere between 2-5 would've come in today (Saturday). I just don't check it during weekends because that's one of the things I need to do to keep my sanity in check.

What four apps do you keep on the home bar on your iPhone? (Sorry, I'm not sure if Android has an equivalent!)  Contacts, Safari, Photos, Messages.

Have you ever used Tumblr? Do you still use it today?   Well yes, that's what I'm using to post this.

Are you tired right now?   A little bit, but I worked all afternoon + attended a party tonight so even though I'm a bit buzzed while taking this LOL I wanted some me time so here we are.

What's your favourite day of the week and why?   Friday. It just makes me happy and puts me in such a calm state.

How far away is the nearest major city?   Manila would be a good 1.5 hours away, even with no traffic. It's just so damn far which is why I always hate having to go there. So polluted and chaotic, too.

If you ever find yourself visiting the Philippines, I'll be the first to tell you there's nothing to miss if you're skipping out on Manila. In fact my #1 advice is to please just stay away from Manila. If you can't escape Metro Manila just go to BGC or Poblacion lol.

Do you own an electric kettle?   Nope.

Are your eyebrows wispy or bushy?   They're bushy.

Have you ever lost your wallet or purse? Did you have to replace a bunch of things?   I've lost a wallet once, but it didn't bother me all too much because I was in high school and had probably like only all of P200 on there.

Where are you right now? Describe the room or place to me.   I'm in my bedroom. It's technically the smallest room in the house but I like it because it feels very private/intimate – when entering, you'll immediately be greeted by a loft bed, wherein the stairs also double as cubbyholes where I've stored my K-pop merch. Directly below my bed is my work station and also a small 'sofa' which is really just two foldable sleeping bags bunched together; right across is my TV and TV stand which come with shelves, also home to more of my merch.

Do you prefer big dogs or small dogs?   I love all dogs but I am admittedly more likely to baby big dogs.

Are you good at understanding heavy accents? Which accents would you say you're the best at understanding?   I'm terrible with understanding accents. It's why I need subtitles all the time, even if what I'm watching is already in English. I don't think there is one accent I understand more than others, either.

Have you ever played on a real life pinball machine, or just on the computer?   I've played both IRL and computer-game pinball.

Do you have a lot of word documents or notes on your computer?   So many. The Notes app is my lifeline.

What's your favourite Ben & Jerry's flavour?   I never get B&J because they're so expensive.

Have you ever been to a school reunion? How was it?   Yes – we had our first and last (so far) reunion in around 2017, a year after we graduated. I remember having fun, although I cannot remember what exactly we did there. I imagine a present-day reunion would be even more fun considering so many of us have since gotten into K-pop, hah.

How many nights a week do you generally cook at home?   I don't cook.

What colour are the street signs in your neighbourhood? Are they the same all over town or do they vary? They're green text on a white background. No, it's different per subdivision.

Do you have good grammar and punctuation skills?   I would say so, yes. At work they always have me as an SOS line for any copywriting-related concerns lol.

Have you ever tried vegan chicken? Did you like it? I don't think I have, but I'm open to trying!

[pathetic-has-been-rockstar]

Memories and a movie

Pairing: Castiel x Dean

Written for: @spnchristmasbingo

Square filled: Miracle on 34th Street

Warnings: none

Summary:   Dean Winchester has never been one for holidays, but he's fond of his few good childhood memories. When Castiel unwillingly upsets him, he will have to find a way to make up for it.

Words: 2391

Beta: @raspberrymama

my work can be found on AO3, here! If you’re interested in the whole series, you just have to click here!

Dean is in the kitchen again, making popcorns and humming a cheesy Christmas song that he heard while grocery shopping, and just won't get out of his head. He's not too bothered about it, all in all.

You won't be joining them at the bunker at least for another day, due to the closed roads, but the rest of them can start to get in the Christmas spirit. They decided to watch a Christmas-themed movie, so to give Cas and Jack the full holidays-are-coming experience. While he throws some more butter in the popcorn, he looks for the salt, trying not to spill stuff around.

A moment later, Sam walks in the kitchen, holding his pc and looking at him.

“Hey. Need a hand with that?”

“Yeah, pass me that bowl. Do we have it?”

“Yep. Miracle on 34th Street, as usual. Are you sure you don't want to watch the new version, too? I think maybe Jack...”

Dean stops him before he can go on. “Sammy, we've been over this. You and I are going to show the kid our Christmas movie, and that's it. If he doesn't like it, he'll show us his favourite one, and we will never forgive him for that.”

Sam scoffs softly and clicks a key on his pc. “Alright, then, I'll throw in the subtitles and we're good to go. We'll wait for you in the...”

“Dean cave!”

Sam sighs, exasperated. “... yes, Dean, we'll wait for you in the Dean cave.”

“Don't say it like that. It's a temple of happiness and comfort. It's the Dean cave!”

Sam opens his mouth to say something, then decides against it. He sighs and walks away from the kitchen, smiling. Dean is insufferable, of course, but it's a different kind of a pain in the ass. A light-hearted, happy Dean who teases and mocks people around him because it's fun, and not to keep a distance to avoid painful separations. All in all, he's glad of being nagged like that.

He walks in the infamous Dean cave and he finds everyone already settling down. He connects the HDMI cable to his pc and goes to sit on the couch, next to Eileen. She makes a small hint at him, and Sam nods. He clears his throat and looks at Castiel, curled up on an armchair next to the couch.

“Uh, Cas... why don't you give us the armchair? We can definitely be more comfortable there. Here, take the couch.”

Shrugging, Castiel moves on the couch. A moment later, Dean walks through the door with a ridiculously huge bowl of popcorn, and goes to sit next to Castiel. Jack stands up, going to turn off the lights, and Sam hits play on the pc before going back to the armchair and letting Eileen sit on his legs.

“So... did you love it, or did you adore it?” Dean beams at Castiel and Jack as soon as he turns the light back on.

“I like it! It put me in a good mood”, Jack nods, smiling. Dean chuckles, satisfied, then turns at Castiel, who still hasn't spoken, and looks pretty confused.

"What troubles you, Cas?" Dean asks, curious to see if he will have to explain something.

“I don't really understand the point of this movie.”

“The-the point? Cas, it's the best Christmas movie ever made, until Trading Places, what do you think is the point?”

Castiel shakes his head, an incredulous expression on his face. “Dean, it's a terrible story about how the American system cages a man for believing to be a fictional character. The judge emits his sentence on a case that doesn't belong in a courtroom, based on what's written on currency. It all stems from the troubles of an alcoholic man. How can you love this movie?”

Dean looks at Castiel, horrified. Sam knows that face. It's the same expression he had when he was forced to destroy Baby to survive a ghost attack. Whatever it's going to happen, the happy atmosphere of movie night is about to go up in flames. Surprisingly, Dean just sets his jaw and nods.

“Alright, I get it. Not everyone can appreciate it.”

“I'm just saying that there's not a lot that...”

“Shut up!” Dean barks, a second before walking away without giving anyone the time to stop him. Confused, Castiel turns to Sam.

“What did I say?”

“Cas, uh... Dean loves this movie. Very, very much. We... we used to watch it with dad, so... I-I think he was hoping you'd like it, too.”

For a long moment, Castiel stays quiet, then nods. “I understand. I suppose I'll go apologize to him.”

“It's not... let him cool off a bit, maybe.”

“Don't worry, Sam. I know exactly what to do.” Castiel ignores Sam's suggestion before going after Dean, leaving Sam, Eileen and Jack in the room. Jack stands up and stretches, still in a good mood.

“Don't worry Sam. If there's anyone able to calm Dean down, that's Cas.”

Sam chuckles, taking Eileen's hand. “You know what? You're right. Let's clean this place and go to bed, we'll deal with the lovebirds tomorrow.”

They all laugh, and start tidying up the place.

Castiel walks in Dean's room, awkwardly standing just a few steps from the door. Dean is sitting at his desk, going through some stuff, and Castiel can take a look at him. He studies how his dark blond hair is slightly ruffled on the back of his neck, after being pressed against the back of the couch for the last couple of hours, how the shirt's fabric stretches on his broad shoulders. It's looking at the movement of his shoulders that Cas realizes that Dean is moving. He turns to him, and gives him an indecipherable look.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Dean... I wanted to...”

“Ah, look... it's fine, man. It's just a movie. No big deal.”

“Sam explained to me it was a sort of tradition. I should have known there was a story behind it. There's always a story with you.”

Dean's lips curl again in one of the half smiles that Cas has learned to map and interpret down to a fine art... in a few seconds. There's always a moment or two of pure amazement at seeing how his whole traits seem to turn him from a weathered hunter into a smiling man, showing the Dean he's always cherished so deeply.

“You know... you're right. Guess I was mad because it's one of the good stories, this one.”

“... would you like to share it with me?”

For a fleeting moment, Castiel sees the surprise in Dean's eyes, as clear as fleeting. It almost hurts to think that he could be surprised to be asked to share something obviously so dear to him, but Castiel stays quiet and watches Dean nodding in agreement.

“It's just... you know we didn't have exactly an easy childhood. I had to take care of Sammy from day one, cause dad... you know. You heard more than enough. But Christmas... soometimes it was not about... this.” Dean says, gesturing at the room around him. “Sure, it was always in a different motel, always after some monster. But... the police rarely work on Christmas' night. Families stick together, making it harder for the monsters to hunt. Motels would offer something to their guests, especially to us. They saw a single dad working his ass off with two children... it tends to make people feel sympathy, especially at Christmas.”

Castiel nods, entranced by Dean's voice. He keeps smiling, and it's clear that, despite everything that man put him and Sam through, he still misses his father. His dad.

“And no matter where we were... that movie is a classic. If it wasn't on a channel, it was on another. When he managed to stay with us, Dad would make some popcorn, usually with so much butter that you could see through the bag once you were done, and we would all hunker down and watch that movie together.”

“... it sounds like a wonderful memory, indeed.”

“Yeah, it... it is. One year... one year Sammy was so upset that we had to decide: telling him that Santa wasn't real, or inventing an excuse to justify the fact that, once again, we didn't get a new house.”

“How did you deal with that?”

“We told him that Santa couldn't get a new house for us because we had to move constantly, to stay safe. We had to stick with that for a couple of years, before he grew out of that. I... I did my best to let him be a kid, Cas. Standing up to dad wasn't easy, and I... I just did my best.”

Castiel must fight the anger he feels understanding why Dean sees himself the way he does, and walks as close as possible to Dean. He places a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to find the right words to say.

“Dean... you did a wonderful job with Sam. You shouldn't have been forced to look out for him. Your father was supposed to do it... and I'm sure that Sam is grateful for it. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate the movie.”

“Ah, Cas, it's fine. I overreacted.”

“No. It's not fine. Allow me to apologize.”

“... there's no need to...”

“Dean, I understood that around Christmas is customary to make kind gestures to each other. Please, let me.”

Dean chuckles, raising his hands.

“Alright. Let's see what you got for me.”

“Fine. Get dressed.”

“... what?”

“Get dressed.”

Dean smiles, curious to see what Cas has in mind and stands up to grab his coat. He puts it on, takes a scarf and a hat, puts on his gloves, and finally turns to face him.

“Is this enough?”

“It is. Are you ready to take a flight?”

“Not a fan of it, but... whatever makes you happy.”

Castiel gives him a small hint before placing a hand on his shoulder, and Dean experiences the familiar and dreaded feeling of his stomach being mashed from the inside during teleportation. A second later, when he opens his eyes, he manages to steady himself against a brick wall and take a deep breath before bending down and trying to catch his breath.

The air is cold, heavy, and Dean knows the smell lingering in the air, even if he can't pinpoint where or when. It feels familiar, but somehow distant, and it brings mixed feelings with it. When he finally feels his stomach settling down, he straightens his back and looks at the angel who just brought him there.

“Cas... where are we?”

“Why don't we go find out?” Cas answers, with a small smile that lets out his anticipation. Dean, affected by Cas' visible excitement, starts walking towards the exit of the alley where they appeared.

Before they walk out of it, Dean has a clear idea of where they are. There's only one city in the world that has that particular kind of bright night, those sounds mixed in a cacophony so terrible to result irresistible, topped with the smell of a thousand different foods, people and exhaust pipes. When they walk out from the alley, his hypotheses are confirmed, and Dean laughs, incredulous, turning to Cas.

“You brought me to New York?”

“So it seems.”

“What the...”

“There.”

Cas points at something behind Dean, who feels his heart stopping for a second, then starting to beat furiously in an attempt to catch up. Sure enough, turning around Dean sees the building of Macy's, dressed in blinding lights and Christmas decorations.

For a moment, Castiel is deeply worried. He never saw Dean reacting like that. His mouth fell open, while his whole face transformed into a blank expression of utter disbelief. He just keeps staring at Macy's, his eyes running up and down the building the only movement that Cas can see, as if trying to find a way to get in, or something like that. After a few very long moments, he decides to risk a question.

“Dean... are you alright?”

Dean turns to Cas so quickly that he almost takes a step back. He raises his arm, pointing at the building.

“You... you brought me to New York. On Christmas' week. To friggin' Macy's? Because you didn't like my favourite Christmas movie... you thought it was a good idea to bring me into it?”

At six and seven for Dean's reaction, Castiel nods. He thought he'd appreciate the intention behind the gesture. Perhaps he's been too intrusive. Perhaps he interpreted the sharing of his story in the wrong way, or perhaps Dean didn't mean that...

“Cas... that's the... that is the most stupid, senseless, sweet thing that anyone is ever done for me!” Dean practically shouts in Castiel's face.

“Why are you yelling now?”

“Because you are not supposed to... Cas, how... why did you do this?”

When he finally realizes why Dean is so upset, Castiel smiles. A big, wide smile that makes his eyes crinkle and the most human side of him flash clearly like one of the Christmas lights around them. Dean Winchester, the legendary hunter, the man who came back from Hell, the one who died and came back to tell the tale more than once... is embarrassed. The most brazen, skilled conqueror of waitress of the United States has no idea about how to react to a genuine gesture of care and affection.

The smile of Castiel erupts into a light-hearted laughter, and Dean is bedazzled in finding out that, in fact, he loves that. He thought he'd hate Castiel laughing at him in a moment like that, but... he was wrong. He adores his laughter. It tells him that Cas just read all the right things in his reaction, understood where they came from, and why they are there.

Dean blushes, sticks his hands in his pockets and mutters, in a falsely angry tone “Shut up” at Castiel. He doesn't stop Castiel when he nudges him with a shoulder and stays close to him.

“What do you say about we go and take a closer look at that place?”

Trying to keep his coolness, and failing miserably, Dean nods. “Well, since we're here...”

Cas shakes lightly his head, impatient and slightly exasperated. “Yeah, we're here. Thanks for seconding me. Come on, let's go.”

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#spn #spnfic #spnchristmasbingo #dean x castiel #fluff #christmas movie #romantic gestures #cas got moves #fanfic