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pepperoniwhirlwind · 5 years

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🌼~Honesty Hour~🌼 (pt. 2)

I was asked by @lovelynhiddenkittens to do 150 questions in the honesty hour tag quite a while ago, and only did a third of it. But no longer will this be the case! Midterms are mostly over (the two biggest ones are done at least) so I can focus on more fun things, like answering these questions! Here’s my answers to questions 51-100:

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yes. I have a lot of internalized shame about my body type (petite and curvy) that whenever I see someone super tall or toned I just want to be them. Even if it’s only for a day. I don’t have these wishes so much anymore though. Alex and I have been dating for 5 months (on the 21st of this month) and he loves my body type. Thanks to him, I’m learning to love myself, and learning that I don’t have to be a model to be loved~ 💕

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My depression. I feel like it makes me a burden on everyone, and although it’s shaped who I am, has it really changed me for the better? Maybe I’m more understanding and empathetic because of it, but it’s also caused me an inordinate amount of pain, and unnecessary pain for my loved ones.

53. Favorite make-up brand?

I don’t wear make-up often enough for me to even have a clue.

54. Favorite store?

What I’m buying changes which store I prefer. If it’s food, I generally hit up Fry’s. If it’s home decor (Which Alex and I needed quite a bit of in recency, given that we just moved into an apartment together a few months ago) I shop at Target. If I need to buy shampoo, face wipes, deodorant, shaving cream, etc. I typically go to Wal-Mart. Does anyone really have just 1 store that they shop at? I know if I bought non-food items at Fry’s I’d go bankrupt. 😂

55. Favorite blog?

That’s a real tough one. I love all of my Tumblr friend’s blogs. @im-here-cause-im-not-all-there posts a lot of stuff I relate to, same for @theperksofneurodivergency, who always posts great content. Seriously, I could sit here for ages and list off all the people on Tumblr that I follow, but that would be ridiculous. Rest assured that if I follow you, it means I generally like what you post.

56. Favorite color?

I love darker colors on the cooler end of the color spectrum; mainly green, blue & purple. I even like pastel colors occasionally. Though that’s more likely when I’m being influenced by some of my alters who like lighter colors. Like Honey, who loves pastel colors, and all things sweet really. That’s why sunflowers are her favorite flower. She appreciates all the sunny and cheerful things in life. ☀️ In our inner world, she even has a garden that she tends to regularly, and grows (you guessed it) sunflowers, among other things.

57. Favorite food?

Oh look, another tough one. Hmm... It really depends what I’m in the mood for. But my boyfriend recently started taking me to Schlotzsky’s, which has a lot of really good sandwiches. Though, I’m always down for some Arby’s. I’m in a rut there, but I don’t care. Their roast beef classic and curly fries are to die for. 😋

58. Last thing you ate?

Speaking of Arby’s... 😆 I ate there for dinner last night in celebration of passing my proctored exam for my math class. It was worth 75% of my grade, and I wasn’t allowed to have anything (they even confiscated my bottle of water). It took 2 hours and was suuuper stressful. So my BF rewarded me with Arby’s when I passed~ 😄 This is just one of the many reasons why I love him~ 💖

59. First thing you ate this morning?

It’s the morning right now, and I haven’t eaten yet... 😅 Does the two sips of my boyfriend’s coffee count?... No?... Okay. *sighs* I should go eat now actually, so I can take my morning meds. Thanks for reminding me, Tumblr ask!

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I got first place in a race once... then immediately quit the track team. 😂 Running just wasn’t for me. I’ve won blue ribbons for art (culinary and painting mostly) before at the 4-H Fair, but I don’t think I’ve ever been in a proper competition that I won. I recently participated in a Drag Show at my college, and even signed my performance (I know ASL, and I hoped it would make me stand out a bit against the competition), but I didn’t win. It was actually a really close call between all the participants, and the host/judge couldn’t decide who the audience cheered louder for, so the lady who’d set up this event had to come up and make the decision. I was one of the first people she decided should leave the stage. So, needless to say, I felt a little embarrassed and defeated afterwards.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I never even had detention 😂 ; I was a goody two-shoes growing up. I was always the teacher’s pet, so no, I was never suspended or expelled.

62. Been arrested? For what?

⬆️ See the point I made above for your answer. ⬆️ I’d have to cease being a goody two-shoes first before being arrested is even a possibility, so no, my record is squeaky clean... we won’t speak of the songs I’ve illegally downloaded from YouTube though. >-> <-< Don’t tell the po-po about this, or else I’ll be forced to participate in court-ordered rehab for my music addiction. 😂

63. Ever been in love?

Yes~ 💘 I’m in love right now, with the most supportive and understanding man I’ve ever known~ I shouldn’t have to say who at this point, but I will. It’s my BF, Alex~ ❤️

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss.

Well, this was back when I lived in Indiana. I had a core group of friends, that all happened to be on the LGBT+ spectrum, so we were practically dripping in rainbow-y goodness. 🌈 Mich, essentially the leader of the group, is trans. While Levi is gay and Laci (she thought she was a lesbian originally, and identified as such for the time that I knew her; I don’t really have contact with any of them anymore) is bi. That just leaves Sasha, who is also bi, and she was my first kiss. Mich, Sasha, I, and others (Levi and Laci weren’t there though) all decided to play spin-the-bottle. Sasha was the first person I landed on, and I still remember her kiss. It was soft, like a cloud, and tasted like strawberries. 🍓 It was a wonderful first kiss, but I definitely prefer kissing Alex the most~ 😍

65. Are you hungry right now?

Well, considering I just ate a mini donut with my pills... yes, yes I am. 😂 ...Don’t you judge me either! Alex and I bought a bunch of mini donuts for our last D&D gaming sesh at Tyler’s, and there was still a bunch left over, so someone has to eat them, and I didn’t feel like making a proper breakfast. Plus, the one I ate is strawberry flavored, so how could I not eat it? If anyone turns down a strawberry donut, suspect immediately that they are a lizard-person.

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends?

What a savage question. No, I do not. I like all of my friends, equally, whether they’re online or offline. I only care if my friends are good people or not; and if they care and respect me as much as I do them. Whether they live nearby or not is of little importance to me. I base my friendships off of their character, their morals; not their place of residence.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Well, I don’t have a Twitter, and only really check my Facebook once in a blue moon. So... neither?... What, is that not an option? Fine... I choose Facebook... I guess.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr.

69. Are you watching TV right now?

No, I’m currently typing this... I am listening to music though, of course. 😆

70. Names of your best friends?

Well, Tyler’s the only friend I have IRL that knows me, like, truly knows me. By that, I means she knows about my DID, among other diagnoses, as we’ve talked at length about both of our diagnoses before. Since she has Bipolar disorder, she gets what it’s like to have a “scary” mental illness; the ones that get characterized by media to always be violent and unhinged. She didn’t judge me or fear me, she only asked questions and tried to learn as much about my system as she could, which tells us that she truly cares and understands. I’ve told other people before, but they’re either no longer a part of my life, or were creeped out by my DID, and are choosing to forget that I ever told them in the first place. My Tumblr friends also know about my DID, given that I post about it and mention it in my blog bio, but there’s a certain level of anonymity on the internet that allows for me to be more open about it. Telling someone IRL? Now that’s terrifying. It takes a lot of trust, and given that I have had some bad reactions in the past, it makes it even more daunting.

71. Craving something? What?

Honestly? A vacuum. And a mop, while I’m at it. I’ve been cleaning for most of the morning, and those are the only cleaning supplies that I need and don’t have. I keep trying to talk Alex into buying them, but he’s not as bothered by dirty floors as I am. He even walks around barefoot on these filthy floors! IDK how! Even if I’m wearing socks it bothers me. I don’t like stepping on anything, and the only way I don’t feel what’s on the ground is if I’m wearing shoes. So... I basically never take off my shoes except for when I’m in bed. 😂

72. What color are your towels?

What a weird question. 😆 Before I moved in with Alex, I lived with my parents, and we didn’t have a standard color of towel. We had an assortment of colors from multiple old sets of towels, a lot of them raggedy, some of them bleached, most of them ancient. Then when I started living with Alex, we still have some towels of differing colors, but most of them are blue and soft~ ✨ The sheets and pillow cases are blue too, though a lighter shade.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Not anymore. I used to when I was younger though. When I was a kid my stuffed animals felt like my children. I would rotate which ones got to sleep with me each night, hug and kiss them all goodnight then tuck them in. If one of them fell out of my arms in the middle of the night, it would wake me up immediately. Not even a slow, groggy wake-up. It was like my motherly instinct was an alarm clock, so I would wake up instantly and be wide awake, frantically searching for the stuffed animal that fell out of my arms. I would then pick them up, dust them off and apologize, then snuggle them and drift off back to sleep. When I was a teenager, I mostly cuddled them when I was lonely and needed some companionship to fall asleep. Now that I snuggle and sleep with my boyfriend each night, I no longer sleep with my stuffed animals, but I still love them and keep them as decoration for my bed at my parent’s house, since I never really sleep there anymore. I nap there occasionally, but that’s about it.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Uhhh... I’ve never actually counted, but at least a tub full.

75. Favorite animal?

Elephants and foxes, equally~ 💖

76. What color is your underwear?

I’m wearing black panties at the moment. It’s satiny with lace, so it’s cute and comfy; the best of both worlds. 😉

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Definitely chocolate, 🍫 provided it’s not too rich.

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

I’m obsessed with matcha green tea ice cream right now, OMG, it’s sooo good~ 😋 Same goes for the matcha green tea frappuccino at Starbucks. It’s the only drink there that I actually get. I’ve tried other beverages they have, and generally don’t like them, but the matcha green tea frap is too delicious for it’s own good.

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

I’m actually wearing a really comfy dress right now, that I slept in as a nightgown last night. 😆 It’s gray and has a lace band on each sleeve.

80. What color pants?

⬆️ Once again, reference my previous entry. ⬆️ I am pantless, given that I’m sporting a dress at the moment.

81. Favorite TV show?

Oh geez... another hard one. Let’s see... I’ll just put the name of the show I’m watching the most right now. That would have to be “Crazy Ex Girlfriend” on Netflix. Before that I watched the newest seasons of “BoJack Horseman” as well as “Orange Is the New Black”, but I’ve already finished those.

82. Favorite movie?

Honestly, I’ve been really obsessed with “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” recently. When I re-watched it as an adult, I noticed how much more serious that movie is compared to Disney’s other films. They cover some pretty dark subject matter, and do it well... *sighs* if only they’d nixed the addition of the gargoyles. They ruin every emotional or tense scene that they’re placed in, and make the lighter scenes just plain cringey. I know they wanted to make it suitable for kids, but I think Disney underestimates what kids can handle, especially considering they reference the darker scenes subtly enough so as to keep the movie’s G rating intact. Like what about the goat, Djali, that belongs to Esmeralda? The goat could have been the comic relief, but instead they brought in the talking gargoyles. They couldn’t even do something cool with the gargoyles, like make them a part of Quasi’s imagination. He’s been alone in a bell tower for his entire life, so it would make sense that he would begin talking to the statues and giving them personalities... but no... it’s shown at the end that the gargoyles can interact with and impact the real world, making them a part of it as well.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Well, considering I’ve only ever seen the first one, and didn’t even know there was a second one, I’m gonna have to go with “Mean Girls”.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

I’ve never seen “21 Jump Street”, so once again, “Mean Girls” takes the cake.

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls?

Oh, that’s hard, especially when they’re all such fun characters. Janis is pretty cool, so she’s up there, but Karen is probably my favorite. She’s such a simple, naive soul, you can’t help but love her.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

Dory, hands down. But I wanna give a special shout-out to Bubbles, the character from the fish tank that, (you guessed it) is obsessed with bubbles. 😆 He cracks me up every time.

87. First person you talked to today?

Alex. Considering we both wake up in the same bed, it would be nearly impossible for him not to be the one I talk to first thing in the morning.

88. Last person you talked to today?

Once again, Alex, given that it’s still early in the day and I haven’t seen anybody else yet.

89. Name a person you hate?

All of my abusers. Every. Single. One. They made me feel small, worthless, and unloved. So I hope each one of them feels that way for the rest of their miserable existences.

90. Name a person you love?

My boyfriend, Alex~ He’s my world, my hopes and dreams, and everything I aspire to be~ 💖

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

No. I want to punch all of my abusers in the balls. With a baseball bat. Repeatedly, until they’re infertile.

92. In a fight with someone?

No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Only one. I want to buy more, but that requires that I have money, which I don’t.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

I have my Nirvana sweatshirt, my “Nightmare Before Christmas” sweatshirt, and two hoodies with my college logo on them. One’s gray and the other is red.

95. Last movie you watched?

“The Hunchback of Notre Dame”.

96. Favorite actress?

I have no idea. So I’m gonna go find a list of the top 100 actresses and go from there. *some time passes* So, I found an actress I actually know, and that’s Krysten Ritter, who played Jessica Jones on Netflix’s hit series named (you guessed it again! Wow, you’re really good at this.) “Jessica Jones”.

97. Favorite actor?

That’s a tie between Robin Williams (I really miss him... He was such a vibrant and energetic actor, who also knew how to portray more serious, and heart-felt scenes. He was a skilled actor and a good man. May he rest in peace.) and Tom Hanks. I like quite a few films starring those actors.

98. Do you tan a lot?

Never.

99. Have any pets?

No... 😭 RIP Batman and Robin (my previous pet hermit crabs).

100. How are you feeling?

Productive! I practically cleaned the whole apartment in like 2 hours this morning, and just finished another third of this ask! I’m on a roll, and intend to do homework in a minute. For now though, I’d like to thank everyone who read through to the end, as well as thank @lovelynhiddenkittens for sending the ask in the first place! Sorry it’s taking so much time to finish it, but I’m over halfway done now! Whoo~! 🎉 *sets off a confetti popper and basks in the confetti shower* Anyways, take care everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your day (or night, wherever you are, just have a wonderful time!) See ya ‘round the bend~! 👋

*grabs a broom and begins sweeping up the confetti, muttering to myself* Why do I do this? Every time, I know I’m gonna have to clean it, but I do it anyway...

#honesty hour #asks #tony

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ladyknight1512 · 6 years

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I don't normally do these sorts of things but I've had a long day and I'm in the mood to answer some questions. I'm not doing it ask-style, though, I'm just gonna answer them because I love me a questionnaire. There are a ton, so most of them are under the cut. I found the questions here.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I’m not a cereal eater these days because milk doesn’t really agree with me and I don’t like soy. Back in the day, though, it was always more cereal than milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Not especially but I don’t dislike it either. It’s one of those things I just don’t think about.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I collect bookmarks so I usually just use those. I did use a wedding invitation a few weeks ago, though.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Tea-wise, I only drink peppermint, so that’s just a teabag and water. For coffee: if it’s just instant at home, I go two sugars and a dash of milk.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Yeah, because I’m pretty sure my eyes are different sizes - they’re definitely not the same anyway - so if I do one of those excited grins, my right eye scrunches up in a weird way that the left eye doesn’t and I hate it.

6: do you keep plants?

I keep a plant. It was a wedding favour from a wedding I went to at the end of October. It’s a succulent and I’m pleased to report that it’s still alive.

7: do you name your plants?

Nope.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Writing. It’s the only one I’m good at.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

I’m constantly singing or humming to myself, which is weird, because tuneless humming is the worst noise in the world for me.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Side, usually.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

“Now kiss.” - @tansy-c

12: what's your favorite planet?

I’ve always been drawn to Jupiter - I’m a Sagittarius so maybe that’s why.

13: what's something that made you smile today?

My cat when she did one of those half-flops so she was half on her side and half on her back with her two front paws hanging in the air. She’s the cutest, ok?

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Books everywhere. Comfy chairs. And I would bring a shit ton of merch with me so she’d just have to deal with that.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Apparently, the sun makes a full rotation once every 25-35 days. And there I was thinking that the sun just hangs there doing nothing.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

Spaghetti bolognese. Classic.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I’ve always wanted to go blonde but my hair is pretty dark and it would be too much work to maintain for my lazy arse.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Can’t think of anything with my friends but when I was 12 I said in front of my whole class that James Cook first came to Australia in 1901. Which was only about 200 years off.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

Nah. I had one in my early teens but it was full of the same teenage angst as everyone else’s and now I can’t be bothered.

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Blue or green.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I’m not really a bag person (shoes, though...). I just have a massive black one with a patch of furry leopard print on the front. It fits all my everyday stuff: book, notebook, 65 pens, water bottle, phone, charger, wallet, sunnies. You know, the basics.

22: are you a morning person?

No.

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

AO3. Just fic after fic. Also food.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

My bff. I’ve told her many a thing while drunk; she probably knows more about me than I realise she does.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

...I’ve never broken into anywhere.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

I have more than 20 pairs of shoes at last count. The only ones I wear regularly are just my black ballet flats because they’re useful for everyday wear.

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Grape.

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset (sunrise is too early).

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

My bff while drunk is pretty adorable because she forgets that there are some things she probably shouldn’t say out loud.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Yes, twice.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I hate socks. They’re ugly and they feel weird. I would rather have freezing feet than wear socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

I’m actually a 90-year-old granny on the inside so I’m never out later than 12am.

33: what's your fave pastry?

I mean ... is any pastry really bad? I’ll eat any and all pastries but I am fond of a blueberry Danish.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I got a stuffed Babar for my third birthday and I still have him today. His crown is pretty much non-existant and his trunk is bent to the left because I used to carry him around by it. And my cousin ripped his arms off once and my grandma had to sew them back on. But otherwise, he’s looking pretty good for his age.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I am an editor. Loving stationary is in my DNA. There is no feeling better than opening a new notebook and starting to write with a brand new pen.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

Something quiet and mellow. Maybe a slow Reba McEntire song.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

It’s currently half and half. I was in the middle of a massive clean out when I got spectacularly busy with work so I just sort of dumped all the stuff I hadn’t got to wherever it fit. I’m looking forward to getting back to them. I’m aiming to be cleaner.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Humming, as mentioned above. People who don’t signal when they turn or change lanes. Slow walkers! Someone save me from slow walkers. People who don’t know how to properly use the tools and programs their job requires.

39: what color do you wear the most?

Blue, but no particular shade.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

For my 21st birthday my mum bought me a love heart pendant with diamonds in it. I’ve worn it every single day since.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

‘Kings Rising’ by C.S. Pacat. I’m sure there have been more recent ones, but that was my automatic response.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I’m not one to sit in a coffee shop usually. I do catch ups with my bff at a Gloria Jeans but we only go there because it’s halfway between each of our houses, not because of the atmosphere. They recently redecorated the place, so the seats are new and comfier now.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Probably my brother, but that was when we were kids.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

I ... don’t remember ever feeling that. My brain is hard to stop. There’s always something to think about.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Yeah, usually, but they often align with my head so that helps.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

Some aquatic mammals escaped from the zoo. It was otter chaos.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Artichokes. Blegh.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I was pretty scared of spiders as a kid. Still scared of them. Needles (as in injections and vaccinations) give me panic attacks, though.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I do because I’m old school like that. These days I’m only trying to buy physical copies of things I absolutely love. The last CD I bought was ‘Flicker’ by Niall Horan.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

I collect bookmarks. Not sure if that’s odd, though.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Every time I hear ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran now I think of my high school best friend, because it was her first dance song at her wedding (the one I got the plant from).

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

I like the one of the guy looking over his shoulder at his girlfriend looking at him in horror.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I’ve seen Rocky Horror but that was years ago and I don’t think I remember enough to comment. The songs are good. Who doesn’t love the Time Warp?

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

My aunt, when her mum died.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

Probably Googled. Not dramatic, but it’s the easiest way to prove things these days.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

Just really cute things they do, especially if they’re not typical of their age.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

I always start grinning like a lunatic when I Bohemian Rhapsody starts. And yeah, dramatic reenactments are a must. It often makes me think of Glee, though, because it was used in Season 1 when Quinn gives birth to Beth.

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Honestly, I’m probably the vodka aunt. I have no class when I drink, because I try really hard to stay classy.

59: what's your favorite myth?

I always liked the one about Hades and Persephone.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I’m not a huge reader of poetry but I want to read more. I’ve always really like the Romantic poets. My absolute favourite poem is ‘The Lady of Shalot’ by Tennyson. I first read it in my early teens and I’ve read it a number of times since then, and what I love is how my reaction to it has changed as I’ve aged. When I first read it, I thought it was incredibly romantic. Now I think it’s unbearably sad.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

One year, for the work Kris Kringle, I gave someone a dragon statue. But not a straight-up good one; it was cheap and trying so hard to look good that it was pretty ugly. In fact, it was so bad, that it came back around to being cool again. I don’t think I’ve ever received a stupid present. If I have, I’ve blocked it from my memory.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

No, but orange is my juice of choice.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

I’m in a constant state of wanting to reorganise my books by genre but there are so many and I have so little time that they just stay where they are. But at least I know where they all are so I guess in that way they’re organised.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Very pale blue, because the sun is so bright it’s basically white.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

Some old work friends because I haven’t seen them since I started working from home.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Something delicate, because my head is small, but vibrant in colour.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Lazy. They make me want to sit around and just do nothing.

68: what's winter like where you live?

Pretty wet, in recent years, but it doesn’t get crazy cold. I think the coldest it usually gets during the day is about 10-12 Celsius.

69: what are your favorite board games?

We have this game called Talisman, which I love because you can play as different characters and you get different abilities and different positives and negatives depending on what you play.

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

No.

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

Peppermint.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

I’m a chronic note-taker but my memory is generally pretty good. I was one of those kids who never had to study to get As because I just always remembered stuff.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

I’m a terrible procrastinator.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

Kooky and fun, and always creative and thinking outside the box. They’re extremely loyal and hates saying no, even to a situation they have put themselves in.

75: tell us about your pets!

Her name is Lizzy (yes, as in Bennet). She’s a cat. She’s just turned 3. She’s a grey tabby with white and caramel bits. She’s super inquisitive and not scared of anything (except loud cars and the vacuum), sometimes to her detriment. She is the cutest cat in the world. She likes cuddles, but only on her terms. Under-the-chin scritches are her favourite kind of scritches. She loves to play and run around. Her favourite toy is a little horse that was actually mine (it was a Christmas gift when I was about 7); I gave it to her as a kitten to distract her when she was being naughty and then she adopted it. We’re convinced that she was the bully of her litter.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

I probably could have been doing some more work when I started this but now it’s after 6pm and my day has ended.

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Neither?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

The Indifferent Club but edging towards Hate now.

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

My bff crocheted me a Babar for my birthday last year. That was pretty awesome.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Ugh. They’re baby pink because that’s the colour they were when I was born. Repainting is too much effort because my furniture is too bulky to move. The colour is the reason my parents decided this would be my room, which is totally unfair because it’s the smallest bedroom by a mile and I’m the oldest.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Geez, that’s too much effort for this late in the day. I dunno. Brown, like tea-stained water?

82: are/were you good in school?

I was. Academics have always come naturally to me.

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

I have no idea. I don’t really pay that much attention to it.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

I would love a tattoo - I know where and what it would - but the needle-phobia is standing in my way.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

I don’t read them, but C.S. Pacat has just started releasing a series of comics and she’s maybe my favourite author so I’m reading them.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

Sure, because as a writer, I love things to have a theme. But I don’t think I own any.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Harry Potter, obviously, and ‘A Single Man’.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

I really like Impressionism and Romanticism

89: are you close to your parents?

To my mum, I guess, but there are definitely things I know I would never tell her, even though I’ve told my bff. My dad annoys me most of the time. My bff says it’s because we’re too similiar but I don’t like thinking about that.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I’ve lived in Melbourne my whole life and it’s a pretty good place to live, all things considered. I love that’s it’s cultural and academic and more intellectual than, say, Sydney. Also, great coffee and food.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

Nowhere.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Drown in cheese, every time.

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

My hair is pretty long right now and it’s super annoying and it’s hot so I’ve been doing one of those half-ponytail things, where you just do a ponytail but don’t pull it all the way through the last time.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

One of my friends who I went to uni with, and he helped get me my first job in publishing and we’ve worked together a lot over the years. We’ve known each other for 10 years.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

It’s my birthday this weekend so that’s happening. I’m hanging out with some friends on Saturday and then I’ll be working on Sunday.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I usually just do them quickly to get them out of the way.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

The last test I took said I’m an ISTP; Sagittarius; Ravenclaw.

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

I was 14, on a school camp. No.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

‘She Used to Be Mine’ by Sara Bareilles. ‘You Will Be Found’ from Dear Evan Hansen.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

The future, because the past is somewhere I’ve already been and there’s no point in going back.

#ask meme #ladyknight1512 gets personal #my god this took forever #long post #tansy-c if you're looking for your mention #go to question 11

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toezi · 7 years

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KCON

Hello friends so I went to KCON this past weekend……… Here’s my story.

HELL ON EARTH i made a cute kcon vlog and made vanessa sit down with me for a kcon chat about the first day but its too long and do i have time to reedit that? No. so here’s my kcon experience my bros.

KCON DAY 1

Wowie so we had like p5 tickets so we kinda just walked around the convention. We sat in on Joan and Edward’s panel for a while and then we stayed for GoToe and Sunny’s panel and GOTOE IS SO CUTEEE I honestly only used my camera to record him he was…. Adorable. But the panel was so quiet and awkward bc of the language barrier and Sunny wasn’t even talking she was just quietly doing his makeup. And there were only… like 30 people there? It was interesting. Then we bought a few albums (Vanessa bought 2 svt albums and a poster and I got Eclipse and we got AL1 for a friend). We went to this photobooth where you could take a picture with a drama background and they had this wall to vote for your fave dramas and leads and INNOCENT DEFENDANT DESERVED BETTER IT HAD HARDLY ANY VOTES. Anyways we were in line for the picture and we chose the Strong Woman background. As we were walking towards the green screen for our turn we were cut by a bunch of Korean businessmen and they turned around and apologized “I’m so sorry. He’s the president of __” and we honestly didn’t hear what company we kinda blacked out from the shock of these men talking to us. Anyways we were at the green screen to take out picture and I motioned to the photographer like “I am going to pick her up like a baby” and his eyes got so big he was like “Y O U?”. now let me tell you, Vanessa is 5’8 and I am 4’8….. He was like “There’s not much time…. How long can you hold?” anyways we took the worst/best picture ever and he was not amused at all lmao he looked so done with us. So we sat down at food street to wait to be picked up and I opened my EXID album to look at it. Two girls were sitting at our table and were like “Did I hear EXID?” so we started talking about the gorls then they asked if we were here to see VIXX (I was wearing a VIXX shirt) and we were like “No, seventeen” and one had an epiphany and said “WAIT i have a seventeen audience pass” AND WE WERE BOUTTA CRY she only had one tho bUT she also had a red carpet pass so I Took svt and vanessa took redcarpet for $20 each (People had been selling them for $200….) AND WE WERE SHAKING SO MUCH it felt so unreal we were both going to SEE SVT and honestly Eclipse it… the bible… a sacred album tbh, blessed. Then we got some FOOD and ended up sitting with these 3 ladies and they liked my pants and BECAUSE THE LIKED MY PANTS they offered us a bunch of free passes!! They had like 2 oh my girl, 4 Astro, 2 SF9, 1 Kard audience passes and this was literally like 20 minutes later we were SHOOK. We took Oh My Girl and gave them to Mely and Vanessa :^) But honestly we went in expecting NOTHING and the day was so crazy Its been a few days and I still can’t believe how kind people are and how lucky we were it all feels like a dream.

KCON DAY 2

I MET KAYLA WHAT A SWEETIE HI KAYLA IF U SEE THIS UR CUTE AND YOUR DRESS WAS CUTE!! ALSO I MET MELY LIKE UUUHHHHHHHHH ITS BEEN 5 YEARS AND VANESSA DIDNT FIGHT ME THANK GOD. SO we didn’t have many workshops we were planning to attend so my Vanessa and I watched Mely and her Vanessa learn how to dance DWC and Mely was talking up how she wanted to do all these dance workshops AND SHE DIDNT EVEN TRY Mely u looked like a limp noodle. Vanessa was better than u. Then Vanessa and I got some food with Kayla and Sophia (HI SOPHIA NICE MEETING U) and we noticed that it was about 12:30 and the line for SVT’s artist engagement was already forming so we waited a bit and ate as we watched that damn line grow. We eventually got in line and waited for an hour in the sun and it was abuse KCON im suing u. But Vanessa waited TWO HOURS in her line for saturday’s red carpet but she’s got more melanin than me. AND we talked to some really nice people in line IDK who ya’ll are but I lvoe you!! Anyways. We were like? In the 3rd row in the audience and there were a few people letting me get in front of them because I’m TINY and one really nice girl who was just a bit taller than me was trying her best to help me get by tall people and she was so sweet I wish I could have thanked her a million more times ;-; So there were like 3 people from a fansite to my left that wouldn’t let me by (of course) and then THESE TWO LADIES who when we asked they just looked down on me and shook their heads AND THEY WERE SO EXTREMELY TALL I WAS EFFENDED. I didn’t tell anybody this but they were playing DWC mv and i actually almost cried bc after all that anticipation I thought I wasn’t even going to be able to see them and I was so hurt. BUT After a few minutes I decided it wasn’t worth being so hot to not even be able to see SVT so I went to the back and watched from the projectors and WOWIE were they beautiful. Everybody was screaming so much /literally/ the only thing I heard was Joshua say “number two!”. But Scoops was so bubbly and had such prominent dimples, Vernon was a sweetie pie, Blond Jun looks better irl, Mingyu: an angel, Jeonghan????? BEAUTIFUL and dainty he really did look like an angel, Joshua is fkn pretty boy nerd he was just happy to be in LA. DK was his sunshine self and Mingyu…… is so cute?? I wish I coulf give much more descriptions on all the boys but I didn’t have a very good view :^( But let me tell you…. Lee Jihoon…………….. The most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on like he honestly made it all worth it he’s absolutely drop dead gorgeous and I felt bliss amongst the chaos he’s truly a walking miracle on this earth. And omg he’s so tiny.

While we waited for Vanessa to finish the red carpet we got some bomb ice cream i loved that man. And OH BOY WAS VANESSA ZAZZED WHEN SHE RETURNED.

And now here are Vanessa’s thoughts about the red carpet: Ok so the red carpet was really GOOD but I was talking to the girls I met while waiting in line we all kind of agreed its kind of not worth it if you’re in the way bc fansites (I think I saw Jihoon’s fansite mintbreeze there). Also it was really cute seeing all the different fans there. I had a VIXX stan standing in front of me and she was just adorable. SF9 were really cute and one of them said “ITS LIT” before they left and I was like wow same. Donghae and I made eye contact for like 1 second and it was so awkward I had to look away. Cosmic girls were ADORABLE and Xuan Yi kept smiling and waving at fans which made all the fangirls scream and that made Xuan Yi smile even more. When VIXX greeted they greeted and all of them bowed except for Leo who had his hands together as if he was praying and I was like wow that is the most Leo thing i’ve ever seen. Girl’s day…. When I saw Minah’s outfit the girl I met while in line offered her hand for emotional support and i took it so fast bc oooooooh man I lost it. Minah kept posing so….. Suggestively like she knew what she was doing. Also I was super gay for Yura. When SVT came out ho boy I almost fell to the floor bc Jun was first and he was fcknin handsome and really tall????? Vernon is a work of art and Seungkwan is an actual baby. Mingyu was gorgeous I legit couldnt take my eyes off him man. I witnessed Wonwoo be a meme. He just looked at Minghao and had his hand on his shoulder, nodded a few times and looked away and Minghao just laughed to himself. Woozi saw some girls next to me who kept going crazy for him and I could tell he tried so hard not to laugh out loud and looked kind of embarrassed or shy about all the fangirling they were doing for a few seconds it was so cute. But tbh out of everyone except for Mingyu and Jun, Woozi kind of stood out to me the most. He was just so?????? Unique looking??? Idk how to explain it but he was beautiful. Chan was almost the last one to leave the stage bc he kept waving at the fans and doing the finger heart thing and he just looked so happy :’)))) Like Jun had to push his arm a little to make him go forward since Chan was the second to last. Also I had my banner up while they were about to leave and I saw Woozi look up a bit when I did and did a half-smile laugh mainly bc of the way I was holding it and doing a :| face ya know what I mean. So he basically laughed at me and it was an honor.

So the concerto. He was a good man. The venue wasn’t as huge as I thought it was going to be so our seats actually felt really close! Preshow: Of course Jun Curryahn was a good man when isn’t he. Then Korean Effects did some BEATBOXING and he was SO GOOD I felt the bass of that man’s voice in my chest. A girl that I do not know the name of came and sang blood sweat and tears to his beatboxing and that was the first time that night that Vanessa turned to me and screamed “IM SO GAY”. The show: Leo and Minah sang a song from Lalaland and it was beautiful. THEN JOSH VERN AND MINGYU came out as the MC’s and I was SHOOK I didn’t expect those boys. I don’t know SF9 but they were good I was amazed they got the stunts! Cosmic Girls were OF COURSE adorable and amazing. Then the screen was showing 17’s intro and we were like “OH SHIT BOY” but THEN it said “special unit performances” and we SCREAMED We didn’t think they would perform unit songs!! It was sad seeing Swimming Fool without Hosh but they did very well those boys. Habit OF COURSE WAS AMAZING I CRY THINKING ABOUT HOW I ACTUALLY HEARD THOSE ANGELS. And OHHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYY the day came. As soon as the first notes of Check in played Vanessa and I held on to each other and started screamiING. Check in is oUR JAM OOOOOOHH YEAHH. Then Girls Day performed and they were T H E hottest group there honestly these girls were RUDE. During their stage vanessa informed me 3 more times how gay she is. She was so angry at Minah for doing that^™. Then Cosmic Girls performed I Need U (boy) and SF9 & Cosmic girls performed Sorry Sorry AND GUESS WHO WAS NEXT THE KINGS EUNHAE. Now let me tell you a story. Super Junior was the first group I ever learned and I became friends with Vanessa and Mely because of them. Oppa Oppa? Vanessa and I have been dancing to that for 5 years and u bet we went HARD when they performed that. I’m still so angry that Eunhyuk made us say “LA oppa”. AND THEY PERFORMED I WANNA DANCE I WANTED THEM TO PERFORM IT BUT I DIDNT THINK THEY WOULD SINCE IT WAS A JAPANESE TRACK!! But the whole time they performed I was screaming about how much I hated their hair. Then Vixx performed and I could tell that a lot of fans were there for them (as well as Eunhae) they got the loudest screams. HYUKS ENGLISH WAS SO CUTE I HAD TO HOLD VANESSAS HAND MY BABY BOY. Im really lowkey glad they didn’t perform chained up tho I was blessed that night. And then………...it was SVT’s stage. I had no idea they were the headliners and OH BOY did those boys rock it. There was one VERY RUDE FOCUS ON JIHOON DURING DWC AND I CRIED INTO VANESSAS SHOULDER. I never didn’t think I was going to scream during this concert… but wow did I surprise myself. Even Vanessa was like “WOah”. But SVT performed a super sick remix of Rock and AND they had a little random play dance time which tbh they didn’t even try that hard but then they shot some tshirt cannons and I saw Jihoon rush over for one and honestly I was terrified for my life. He exudes such a different aura on stage that Jihoon really is “El Woozi”. AND HE STANDS WITH ONE HAND ON HIS HIP BOY WHAT IS THAT SASS FOR. During their ment Boo was being his lil Diva self he was so funny and Dino……. A man? He was so handsome I can’t believe. And Minghao got so many screams I was so proud and happy he deserves them all!! Really all the boys Looked amazing and performed so well I could go on for hours. I heard Seungkwan do the Boo airhorn sound effect and i shed a single tear. Dino was so stunningly handsome like??? He really actually does look older than Mingyu he does not look like the youngest at all what are they feeding him. At one point Vernon was like “Wow Josh, I can tell why you hype up your hometown so much” And JOSH gave him THIS LOOK it was so funny he looked offended, disgusted, and sassy I don’t even know who that man is. Good news: I personally caught no signs of butt touching but I /could/ have missed something. But really the whole concert was absolutely amazing, even if you don’t know all the groups the stages are all so great and I think it was just an excellent concert overall. And the next day we dropped off Mely and Vanessa at 11 for their Oh My Girl audience.. That started at 11. Im sorry Chicas but I’m glad u made it in time. ANYWAYS this has been my kcon experience I had a very good time and TBH I would probably consider going again if Seventeen never fkn comes to california.

#long post #i had a lot of fun and I miss my friends :^(#I'm still salty about no cali diamond edge date but this.... this made it a little better #also this is so late I had planned a cute little video but it was 5 minutes too long for yt honestly end my life #anyways #kcon

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sophies-surveys · 7 years

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555.

1. Can you remember what you were doing at 8:15 this morning? I was laying around in bed with my boyfriend :)

2. In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? Rachel. God, it’s been almost 2 years since I saw her.

3. If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them? Depends on the situation but I probably wouldn’t say anything. They can’t be all that nosy if I’m not telling them anything and anyway I don’t get that bothered by those kinds of things.

4. What did you have for lunch today? Or, if you haven’t had lunch yet, what do you think you will have? I had leftover hibachi.

5. Is there someone you desperately want to see/speak to atm, but you can’t? I don’t think so. Not “desperately” anyway. There are a few old friends I wish I didn’t lose touch with, but it’s not a big deal.

6. Do you and your significant other have a special song? What is it? We don’t.

7. If you HAD to sing something on karaoke, what song would you choose? Haha I don’t know. Probably something by Michael Jackson.

8. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? Before Christmas. I had a cold.

9. What time is it now? Are you tired? 10:13 pm. I’m not that tired but I should probably go to bed soon anyway.

10. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I don’t wear make up.

11. What if you found the last person you kissed, in bed with the last person you texted? With himself?

12. The last person you held hands with - have you ever kissed them? Yes.

13. Can you remember what your parents bought you for Christmas last year? Mhmm. It wasn’t that long ago. I got the Star Wars original trilogy and some home/hygiene essentials that I hate paying for lol.

14. Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you’ve had feelings for? He’s an incredibly patient and kind person. More so than anyone else I’ve ever met before. We had a natural attraction and compatibility and I think that initial connection plus his extraordinary kindness made me fall completely head over heels. It’s hard to compare him to everyone else I’ve had feelings for because I don’t really have a type and they’re all so different.

30. Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? In high school I had a friend tell me he had kissed his ex, who was also my friend, behind his girlfriend’s (who was my BEST friend) back. I told my best friend. She broke up with him. It didn’t work out between him and his ex either. No surprise there.

31. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? Pretty much instantly. By the time I decided to break up with my last boyfriend I was really and truly done. I had no feelings left, and they honestly weren’t all that strong to begin with.

32. Has any of your friends ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend that you found attractive, and you would secretly have liked to have for yourself? That I found attractive? Yes. That I secretly wanted to have for myself? No.

33. How many guys do you know named Matthew? Like 4?

34. Think about the last person that made you cry. Would that person be there for you if you needed help? I don’t remember the last person that “made” me cry.

35. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? My boyfriend. I don’t remember what we talked about last.

36. Has someone of the opposite sex made you cry at any point during the last 24 hours? No.

37. Is there anything you would like to say to your most recent ex? No.

38. If your friends are sexually active but you aren’t, does that bother you? Have you ever felt pressured to have sex before you were ready, because your friends had done it? I’m sexually active now, but I was the last of my friends to do it so there was a period of time when they were and I wasn’t. I didn’t feel pressured to have sex before I was ready. To be honest, I was ready around the same time as everyone else, but it was important to me not to have sex with just anyone. I wanted to be in a relationship with someone I trusted and cared about a lot first, so I waited for that and that didn’t come along for a while.

39. In your opinion, what is the difference between having a crush and being in love? Have your own experiences helped you to realise that there is a difference? I think the differences are pretty obvious.

40. Did the last person you hugged have any of these letters in their name: T, R, K, P, J? No.

41. What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours? M&Ms.

42. What was the last compliment you received from someone of the opposite sex? "You’re beautiful.”

43. Who did you last say ‘I love you’ to? What colour are that person’s eyes? My boyfriend. Brown.

44. If you took away the first and third letters of your name, what would you then be called? Ohie.

45. Name 7 things that make you happy.

1. My boyfriend.

2. Having my entire family all together.

3. Reading Harry Potter.

4. Hikes on sunny days in the mountains.

5. One-pot/pan recipes.

6. Kittens.

7. Days off when I have nowhere to be and nothing that I have to get done..

46. Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? That I have boyfriend. Yes.

47. You buy a bar of chocolate, but you decide that you don’t want to eat it now, and put it in the fridge. When you go back later, half of it’s gone - someone else has started eating it! Who are you most likely to blame? Natalie? Honestly neither of my roommates would eat my food.

48. Choose 5 friends, and talk about each person’s longest/most serious relationship. Who was the relationship with, and how long did it last?

1. Rachel. Her longest and most serious relationship was/is with her current fiance. They’ve been together like 4 years now. She was in denial for a long time that she was into him because physically he wasn’t considered conventionally attractive and wasn’t what she thought was her type but they had a great friendship and she eventually gave in to her feelings. They spend 24/7 together which is sometimes annoying because they argue and bicker a lot but in general they’re happy.

2. Matt’s most serious relationship was with his most recent ex, Lexie. They were long distance which is ultimately what killed the relationship. I loveeed Lexie. They were together for about 2 years.

3. James’ most serious relationship was with his ex, who was an absolutely horrible person who completely took over his life and then randomly left him. She was controlling and greedy and awful. They were together for maybe two years, or not quite that long before she left.

That’s all I’m doing.

49. Do you think it’s wrong for someone to commit themselves to a long-term relationship at a young age? Explain. No. There’s nothing “wrong” about that.

50. Is there something happening in the near future, that you’re looking forward to? Finishing my last semester of classes, if you count May as the “near future.”

#survey

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ecotone99 · 5 years

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[FN] [RF] [SP] The Long Goodbye

I died on a Thursday, if I recall correctly. I could easily blame it on the weather, but it was a nice sunny day, not too bright, not too cold, and I just wasn’t paying attention. I just HAD to see who texted me… a telemarketing text. When I looked up, I was already into oncoming traffic. The last thing I remember seeing with my physical eyes was the word “Freightliner”, I heard a squeal of rubber on asphalt and then the flash.

I opened my eyes to see nothing but pavement. I stood up, dusted myself off and turned back to witness a grizzly scene. The entire front of my car was compacted, crushed by the massive frame of the semi that I collided with. I surveyed the damage and, I still shudder to this day when I saw myself. I was barely recognizable. Blood everywhere, bones protruding through skin, limbs mangled, I felt like I was going to throw up. But then I heard a voice behind me and I knew exactly who it was.

“Michael Aaron Kozlowski?” The voice was deep but not intimidating, not as fearful as I had imagined all these years and from all the movies I had seen. I turned around to see him. There was no robe, no scythe, just a skeleton in a plain black suit and overcoat studying a clipboard and checking his pocket watch. He looked up at me.

“Mr. Kozlowski, am I correct?” the vacuous sockets of his skull had the expression of weariness and employee burnout.

“Yeah, that’s me.” I responded.

“Good. For a moment, I thought I got lost on the way. You’d be surprised how many Michael Kozlowski’s there are in the world.” He was very matter of fact, not this hulking foreboding figure that I was expecting. My curiosity got the better of me. I walked from the wreckage and approached him.

“Wait a minute. If you’re death then where’s all the… the…” I lost my words for a moment, but he was happy to assist.

“The robe and sickle.” As he chuckled, his bones rattled under the suit. “Can I call you Mike?”

“Sure, that’s what everyone else called me.”

“Mike, name one person you know, aside from religious folk that wear robes nowadays?”

“You got a point. So… ” I lost my words again, but was quick to find them “..so how does this work?”

“How does what work?”

“Y’know.. the whole death thing?”

“Oh.. OH.” he chuckled again “…almost forgot to do my job again.” He quickly switched his focus back to his clipboard and flipped through several papers.

“Ah, here we are. Michael Aaron Kozlowski..” he trailed off in an indiscernible mumble for a moment and then rose back to audible clarity “…age 41…” I watched as his boney finger traced the information on the page, from line to line and section to section.

“…died July 27, Two Thousand….” I knew what day it was, but I guess he had to go through all of the particulars as part of his duty.

“…sudden fracture of the skull, succumbed to multiple internal injuries, hemorrhaging, blunt trauma, collapsed lung, DAMN… that was a nasty one, wasn’t it?” I grimly nodded, trying to be as patient as possible.

“…survived by Kathryn Avery, wife, and Jacob Thomas, son…”

“OH SHIT!” He stopped his read-through of his documentation and looked up at me.

“Excuse me?”

“I completely forgot about Katie and Jake”

“Well, you’ve been through quite a lot in the past 3 weeks.”

“Well I know but… wait a minute. Three weeks?”

“Yeah, the general processing and admittance takes about 4-6 weeks. We’ve been standing here for three.”

“But…”

“Yeah, I know. Only seemed like a few hours?”

“..I was going to say minutes, but… really? Three weeks?” He held up his pocket watch, pressed a tiny button on the side which allowed the cover to swing open and reveal the beautiful antique face. The face seemed to be normal, except there were many more numbers than the standard twelve.

“Time moves much slower in the afterlife, Mike.”

“How many numb…”

“42”

“Are you serious?” I smirked as if he were playing a joke on me.

“Douglas Adams had it right.” He said as he closed the watch pack up and placed it back in his left breast pocket. “Now where were we?”

“I was remembering my wife and son.”

“Oh yeah. What about them?”

“Well, if I figure it correctly, I’m a ghost right now, right?”

“Technically, but..” He turned up his clipboard to show me the lavender sheet of paper with his orders on it, “…I’ve got orders. Says here that..” He trailed off again, running through the items in another section of the paperwork, “…you’ve been pretty much of a good egg. Helped others when they needed it. Diligent worker, Loving Husband and father. You’re getting your wings, Mike.”

“Wait.. I’m going to be an angel?”

“What?! HA!” He snorted out a laugh. I didn’t even know a skeleton could snort “… no no no. That’s just a phrase we use to say that you’re going upstairs, and not… well, y’know.”

“Well that’s a relief, but…”

“But what?”

“Well, do I have to go now?”

“Mike, where else are you going to go?”

“Well, I’d like to say goodbye, if I can.”

“Sorry. That’s against the rules.”

“Eternity has rules?”

“Well, they’re more of guidelines than rules. You don’t want to get yourself tangled back up into the world of the living. It’ll only lead to anguish, Mike.”

“What do you mean?” He motioned for me to follow him. We began to walk down the road where the accident originally occurred. As I looked around, I noticed that the accident had been completely cleared away, and we were walking through streaks of red and white as we crossed the freeway. He put his hands behind his back and looked out towards the horizon.

“Mike,” he sighed “…when I died back in, oh… when was it… ugh.. I can’t even remember, I was confused and disoriented just like you were. The reaper that gave me his spiel was a lot less… personable. Y’know.. the whole black robe and all that jazz, like you thought. I was in my mid-twenties and I was killed in battle, riddled with arrows actually. And my first thoughts were of my bride back in our village. Since the reaper wasn’t as friendly, he just said NO.. IT IS FORBIDDEN. To which I said “Fuck that.” and I took off. I ran for eons to get back to my village. But, when I finally got there, I didn’t take into account the time change. Time moves differently here, and instead of a couple days for me to return, it was a couple decades. My wife had already remarried and had a new family of her own. I was devastated.”

I stood there enamored by his tale.

“Trust me, by the time you get back to your family, they’ll have moved on, and many years will have passed. If you truly love them, just wait a little longer, they’ll come around.”

“What ever happened to your bride? She had to have died. Did you two ever meet back up?”

“We’re not here to talk about me, Mike. This is your time.” With that, he took a small device out of his right hand coat pocket. It resembled a Game Boy with it’s green screen and a couple red buttons on the console. He slid his clipboard under his arm and typed in a few commands that were answered with a series of heavenly chimes and tones.

From above, above, a single ray of light bore down upon the two of us. He looked at me and smiled a skeletal grin.

“Going up?” The light got brighter and brighter until I was forced to close my eyes. I was curious to see what was waiting for me on the other side. I was excited to see all those who passed before me, but… but I just couldn’t get over the fact that I wouldn’t see my own funeral. I couldn’t get out of my mind that I would miss all of Jake’s milestone moments. He just started kindergarten, so I would miss teaching him how to ride a bike, helping him with his homework, teaching him how to drive, sending him off on his first date, watching him graduate high school and college, being there for his wedding, never meeting my grandkids.

At that moment, I dove out of the beam of light and back onto the freeway, the red and white streaks flew past me forwards and back, disorienting me and causing me to tumble over the guardrail and plummet the hundred feet below under the overpass.

I landed with a deadening thud. My vision was blurry and the ringing in my ears slowly ceased. I could see Him look over the edge and down at me. What was just incoherent sounds soon transformed to His voice bellowing down to me.

“HEY! Mike! Are you alright?”

Now was my chance. I was far enough away from Him that I could make a break for it. I calmly stood up, dusted myself off, and looked up to see Him looking down at me, leaning over the guardrail.

“How do I get back up?” I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled back up.

“Don’t worry, I’ll come down to you,” He answered. In a flash of white smoke, he was gone. I took this opportunity to run like Hell. I scurried away from where I was and headed in the direction of where I used to live. I darted through the trees and bushes that were underneath the freeway, frantically trying to make me way back home. I ran for about a minute before POOF He appeared through that same puff of white smoke and towered over me. I ran full force into his body and bounced back about six feet, and landed on my ass.

“What the HELL do you think you are doing, man?” He scolded. “Didn’t you hear what I told you? By the time you get back to your house, everyone will have moved on! You’ll be heartbroken because they will have moved on without you.”

“I don’t believe that for a second!” I shouted back. “I loved my family with all my heart. And they loved me. I refuse to believe that I will ever leave their thoughts.”

“Mike, I’m telling you, just wait and they’ll…”

“NO! I can’t wait. I need to…” a lump, the size of Montana rose up into my throat, and I was left speechless for a moment. I swallowed it back down, and with it, my eyes began to well up and overflow. I looked down at my shoes. I just now noticed that even though I had been running through the dirt and mud, they were still spotless as the day I bought them.

“…Did you have kids?” I asked Him.

“What?” He was puzzled. I did my best to compose myself, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Jake. The tears were now running down my cheeks.

“When you were alive, did you ever have kids?”I think he finally knew where I was going with this line of questioning.

“No,” He sighed. “I died before we were able to try.”

“Then you have NO idea the kind of pain I am going through right now. There are certain things that a father needs to do with his son so that he grows up right. I needed to be there for him, and now, I won’t be able to. I was robbed of that chance to make sure that I could raise him to be the man he needed to be. I was robbed to experiencing his successes, his failures, his joy and his sorrow. I can’t be there for him. And you just want me to WAIT?”

He stood there, silent.

“Fuck YOU! Fuck your guidelines. Fuck this bullshit that they’ll just move on. My son meant SO MUCH to me, and I’m just supposed to say, oh well, shit happens, he’ll be fine. NO! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT!”

He nodded his head for a moment, took a deep breath and looked back at me, sternly.

“I know I can’t reverse time. I know I can’t just can’t come back to life. THIS I can accept. I just want to say goodbye, and that I’m sorry I’m not going to be able to be there for him. Sorry for everything I’m going to miss.”

He brought his boney hand to the bridge of his nose, and rubbed. Looked down again, and sighed.

“You just don’t get it, Mike.” He looked back up at me.

“But, you’re not the first. Some people just accept death and go with the flow. Others, like you, rebel from square one.” He took the device out again. “Gimme one second.”

A series of chimes and beeps emanated from the device as he pressed some buttons and waited for a response.

“OK, Mike. I can respect the fact that you want to see your son. That you want to at least tell him goodbye, and I know I’m not going to be able to change your mind about this. So, I’ve requested from the boys upstairs that you are granted a temporary free pass just to see this thing out.” I wiped the tears away from my eyes at the news that I was going to be able to see my son.

“There’s just a few conditions. First, I have to go with you. I have been assigned to your case, so I have to make sure you don’t go all poltergeist on me. That goes on my permanent record, and I’m not having that. Second, as soon as you say what you need to say to… Jake, was it,”he double checked his clipboard, “I make the call and we head upstairs, immediately. Do you understand?”

I giddily nodded my head and reached out to shake his hand. He immediately pulled it away and held it up to stop me from getting any closer.

“Whoa, whoa whoa. Don’t shake my hand just yet, Mike. You’re the one that wanted this, and you may not be happy with what you see.”

He turned away from me and pressed a button on the device. As it began to whirr and beep, he checked his clipboard once more. The device gave a tiny DING and he studied the screen.

“OK, your old house is roughly, 5 miles South, Southwest of our current location. I suggest we get back up to the freeway and walk from there. It’ll be much easier on flat ground, OK?”

I nodded and looked around. I had been running so fast that I completely lost track of where the freeway was. He pointed a skeletal finger to our right, and I headed in that direction. I started to smile. I was going to see my Jake again.

We were walking for about 3 miles amongst the red and white streaks along our sides when I finally decided to look up at the sky. It was night, and the stars shone so vividly, that I could easily see the Milky Way band across the deep indigo sea. I stopped walking. He continued.

“Hey, wait a minute!” I beckoned. He finally stopped and turned around.

“What?” He mumbled.

“OK, explain this to me. The streak to our left and right are obviously the cars passing back and forth along the freeway, going at their normal speed, but to us, time is moving so fast, that they just appear as these streaks, right?”

“What are you getting at, Mike?”

“What’s the deal with the sky?”

“What deal?”

“Why isn’t the sky and the sun and moon moving at the same speed? Shouldn’t it be light-dark-light-dark really fast, just like everything else.”

“Hmm, if I remember correctly, it has to do with the speed of light. You see, since we are moving so fast through time, the sun isn’t up long enough for it to hit your eyes, so it’s always night. For the same reason, you’ll never see the moon in the sky either.”

He was right. It was just all stars and clusters and nebula.

“Wait a minute?”

“What is it now, Mike?”

“How fast ARE we going?”

“That conversation we just had…”

“Yeah?”

“ A week.”

A week!! We’d been walking a couple hours and that conversation just took a minute or two. I didn’t like where this was going, but I HAD to see this through. I think He started to sense that I was finally starting to see things his way.

After about 4-5 hours, we finally reached my old house. It was still there. The paint was different, and there was a few different cars in the driveway, but the house still stood. I ran for the front door, but He stopped me, held me by the arm.

“Hold on there, Mike. Did you forget about the time difference?”

“What about it?”

“Well, if they’re going at the speed I told you about, how are you going to be able to sit down and say goodbye to your son?” I contemplated the situation, and turned to Him with an expression of worry.

“Don’t worry. I can slow things down a bit, but I can’t do it for long. Just long enough for you to get your goodbyes in and then we’re off, ok?” I waited for Him to bring out his device once more, press a couple buttons and then I felt and heard time slow down. It is one of the most unusual events a human being can ever experience. Imagine you are in the center of a record player, spinning at 77 rpms and suddenly, someone puts their finger on the record and slows down it down. The world simply lurched to a slower pace, and the sound was equally disturbing. A soft, high pitched whirr suddenly increased in volume and choked back the pitch until it was a low hum, a familiar hum – the hum of life. I could hear the wind, the traffic, the normal sounds of my old neighborhood. I was back and it was a glorious sound to behold.

“Alright, now you can go in.” He let go of my arm and I ran to the house. I thought about knocking, but I almost forgot, I was dead. So I just walked on through the door.

The house was different. It was mostly the same furniture, but there were somethings that were askew. The family portraits used to be on the far wall, that connected the livingroom to the kitchen. The kitchen table used to be rotated ninety degrees… little things.

The other strange thing was that all the lights were on, but there were no people. Why would Katie leave all the lights on if no one was going to be home? I began to walk around the house. I walked slowly down the hall to where the bedrooms were. First, on the left was Jake’s. The door was open so I didn’t need to pass through to peer in. The room was empty. Even the carpeting was gone. It looked like no one had used that room in years. A knot was beginning to form in the pit of my stomach. Something wasn’t right. I continued down the hall, and to the right was our old bedroom. The decor was certainly more… modern than how I remember it. The walls were a different color. As I panned across the room, my eyes finally reached the bed. Under the covers lay an old man, tucked in tight and looking like he was on his last legs.

What the shit?

Who the hell was this guy? And then I thought, Katie may have remarried and time had passed, this may be her new husband. I looked around the room for more clues. I didn’t see any pictures of Katie and me, or Katie and her new husband, so the identity of this man was still a mystery. His breathing became more forced and he began to cough. Whoever this guy was, his time was almost up. Suddenly I heard a clatter coming from the hallway. I turned to look as a group of people slowly walked down the hall and into the room, surrounding the bed. I looked at all of the people, and surprisingly didn’t recognize a single one. “HEY!” I shouted out. I turned around and He was right behind me, holding his device up and reading its display.

“Yeah?” He said, still studying the screen of the device, the glow lighting up his skull.

“What is this? Who are all these people?”

“This is your family, Mike.”

“What?!” I turned back and looked. I looked very hard at all of them. “This is not my family. I don’t recognize any of these people.”

“Think of the time, Mike.”

“Think of the time? The hell does THAT mean?”Then, I heard one of the children speak. They had approached the old man in the bed and held his hand. Tears began to roll down their cheeks, as they could barely get the words out. As the words left the child’s mouth, that knot in my stomach forced its way up into my throat and I immediately began to sob giant tears of regret.

“Goodbye Grandpa Jake.”

The old man turned his head to the child and I could finally see his face clearly. The eyes, the mouth, the one crooked eyebrow. It was my Jake. All grown up and now, at the end of his life. He was able to do it all without me. I looked around the room again and studied all the photos. There were pictures of him with his wife, and his kids, I saw the progression of them grow up, and Jake grow older. I saw a photograph of him, much younger than he is now sitting with an older woman. I looked closer. Katie. He was sitting with his mother. Her hands were clasped together on her lap with her left hand on top, wedding band absent. After all these years, she never remarried. I continued to look at the photos, and saw all the experiences he had that I missed.

“I missed it all.” I mumbled to myself. He came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.

“I tried to tell you, but you were too stubborn. I figured you had to learn for yourself. As soon as you get whisked away, we have a constant connection back down here, you could have watched it all, been there every step of the way. All you had to do was wait.”

The tears were uncontrollable running down my face now.

“What do you mean WAIT? How long? How long would I have had to wait?”

“Five minutes, tops.”

“FIVE MINUTES?”

“I had to find out the hard way too, Mike.”

Suddenly, Jake gasped, his eyes rolled back into his head and the color faded from his face. A loud sound blared from the device and He took notice of it. He pressed a few buttons and then put it back in his pocket.

“Well, looks like I have to take both of you.”

“What?” I spun around. It started low, but a wind began to blow inside the house. I couldn’t feel it, but I could definitely hear it. It grew louder and louder until it was as boisterous and roaring as a tornado. I plugged my ears and waited for it to pass. I was facing Him at the time, and he pointed behind me and slowly spun me around as the winds blew. Jake began to glow and as the wind blew more fierce the light grew brighter. It grew so bright that I was forced to cover my eyes the light penetrated my eyelids so I was forced to turn back around. The wind died and the light diminished. I opened my eyes and uncovered my ears. The people surrounding the bed were all crying. But Jake, old Jake stood in front of the bed looking at all the people. After looking upon on all of his family members that he would be leaving behind, he turned towards me and Him.

He instantly recognized Him and knew what was to follow.

“Jacob Thomas Kozlowski?” He said in the same tone in which he uttered my name to me. Jake nodded.

“You know who I am, right?” He asked the old man. Jake slowly nodded. Jake’s attention soon turned from the tall skeleton in the suit and overcoat to me. He looked at me and concentrated, studying every feature of my face. I couldn’t look away. It was the first time I saw my son’s face since I died. I did my best to compose myself, but it’s not easy when you have waiting to see someone just one more time.

“Well, because of this guy,” He gave me a friendly shove, “I will be taking both of you upstairs. You’ve had a good life, Jake. Both of you have. Come on, now. Kathryn is waiting.”

Both of us turned our focus to Him.

“Katie?” I blurted out, and at the same time “Mom?” The old man stuttered. It was at that moment, when it clicked for Jake. I slowly looked back and him and he returned my gaze. Tears began to well up in his eyes, his lip began to tremble and magically, the years started to melt away. Soon I was looking at the man Jake grew to be. And that’s when he said it, the one thing I missed from the moment this journey began.

“Dad?”

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teardropsandbs · 7 years

Text

Thank you 2011 for being one of the best years of my life. After 14 long years, Tom and I end up loving each other. Who would have thought that he’s going to be my husband? Seriously! LOL! Cliché but true, no one really knows what the future holds. I want to thank you, my dear 2011 for giving me lots of memories. You started so well by finally giving me a lovelife after how many lonely years haha! And not just that, I had the best of both worlds! I was given an opportunity to work in our Sales department and earn more hehe. My lil sister and I were able to travel to a foreign land together - HK. I was given a chance to visit my hometown, Manila. I was so happy to see my family and friends once again. Home will always be home.

When I came back here in Canada, I had a fun Ontario experience with friends. We went to Harris Hill in Lake of the Woods. Although, my fall and winter had been pretty much all about focusing on my benchmarks and targets, I learned to save up! Haha! I used to save to travel and/or buy stuff that I want but this year, I managed to be future-wise and know my priorities. Mainly because I got engaged! I became more matured because I finally realized what I really want in life. I want to be a wife. I want to be a mom. I want to grow old beside the man I love. Everything that I am doing right now is for my future, for my family and for the future family that Tom and I will have. This year, I surpassed the quarter-year. I have never been this driven, never been this happy and I think, now, I can say that I am growing up haha! Thank you God for all the blessings especially for my sister’s second life. That accident was a miracle! With You, Lord in our lives, we can overcome anything. I am looking forward for another awesome year. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Jun Carlos Custodio!

Thank you for my family and friends all over the world who made this year a memorable one! I need to get up now and dress up to welcome the new year. And oh, Happy 75th Birthday to my lolo back in Manila. We need to be home before the party starts to Skype and celebrate with them. Haha! So bye 2011! I know 2012 will be better but I will forever cherish you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

XO,

2012-01-01 02:47:53 2012-01-01 07:47:53 open Publish post 757991223 Homecoming xaxcxexlx Sun, 05 Jun 2011 15:02:01 -04:00

I'm actually up in the air somewhere in the Pacific on my way to Vancouver. We left Tokyo 4 hours ago so that means I'll be stuck on this aisle seat for another 5 hours. Beside me is an old Filipino man. He's very charming (not that I have a thing for old men), he's like my lolo, a funny gentleman. He was amazed that I speak fluent Tagalog and use po at opo because he thought I was born in Canada. I just finished watching all the travel documentary flicks on my seat TV. The last one was an episode of Billy Conolly's jaunt all over Canada, from East to West coast (made me wanna do that!). He spent 10 weeks travelling from St. John's to BC, exploring some of Canada's most remote locations. The film made me appreciate my second home. I've always hated moving to Winnipeg. Not only because it's boring compare to Manila but mainly because of my family and friends back in my homeland. I didn't cry when I left Manila earlier, maybe because I didn’t look at Tom. I don’t wanna look back at him. I don’t want to see him crying. I didn’t want to face the fact that I’m leaving the man that I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I was in denial that Manila is not my home anymore. I was born and raised as a Manila Girl. I party a lot! And I mean a lot! But Manila is not just about partying or drinking. You’ll only understand the difference between fun and happiness if you try to experience Manila life.

I spent 4 days in HK and 3 weeks in P.I. minus the 3 days that I got flu and just stayed in my bed while Tom took care of me. We were together all the time. Wherever I go, he goes. We haven’t fought yet, like a real bf-gf fight, and I hope not. I didn’t get the chance to visit my bestfriend, Karen and her baby Kyzer, my RGLC family and my boyfriend’s closest friends since we were in HS. 3 weeks was not even close to enough. I wish I could stay longer. Most of the stuff that I bought was just pasalubong, failed to buy those things I need for myself. But I had the greatest time of my life. Nothing beats visiting your hometown. And of course, spending time with Tomtom is the best part! I could not ask for more. After 14 long years of knowing each other, we never imagined ending up loving each other this much. Sadly, I had to leave and he has to fly back to Singapore as well. We have to be apart for a while first to be together forever.

I never planned my future with any guy before. I didn’t even want to get married. I’ve experienced all boys’ lies you could ever imagine first hand and got hurt as fck! But I never get tired of loving again. And when this guy came into my life, everything has changed. He made all the tears, heartaches and waiting all worth it. He was God’s final gift and He wrapped him with a bow. Haha! I am truly blessed, so thankful and much loved. I’ve never been in love like this before, never ever loved someone this much before and never been loved by someone this much before. I want to marry him.

He changed my perspectives in life. He made me want to have kids, eat veggies, learn how to cook, love what I hate and most importantly, trust a guy and love without fear. He’s just amaaazing! He makes me laugh, cry, smile, frown, smug, sing, dance, dream, blush, he just knows how to make me the happiest person ever! And that makes me love him more.

One year. We have a year to prepare for our future together. He’ll come here, and that’s huge for me! Nothing’s harder than leaving your family and friends back home. I should know! But Canada is my home now and it’s the only place and the only way for us to be together. In a few hours, I’ll be home. I have a day off before going back to work. A day to overcome jetlag, pay my $$$ Rogers bill, learn changes in my department and a Skype date. But whatever! I know I can get by. I don’t see these as problems. That vacation (especially Tom) gave me a brighter outlook ahead. No bad vibes! Cheers to happiness and to the future… at my home, Canada eh!

2011-06-05 12:17:53 2011-06-05 16:17:53 open Publish post 749357437 Lilo xaxcxexlx Sun, 05 Jun 2011 12:26:10 -04:00

I may be mean ignoring you, but could u blame me? You hurt me too many times. I treated you more than a best friend, loved u more than my own sister and cared for you like a mother. The happiest memories of my life were memories with you. My greatest, craziest and dumbest photos were with you. Yes, I miss you. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't trust you.

2011-02-20 01:53:40 2011-02-20 06:53:40 open Publish post 741726049 Lookbook.nu xaxcxexlx Tue, 21 Dec 2010 00:22:31 -05:00 Acel Libante on LOOKBOOK.nu 2010-12-21 00:21:51 2010-12-21 05:21:51 open Publish post 737620705 I Can't Stop LOL xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:24:10 -04:00

2010-07-10 23:17:40 2010-07-11 03:17:40 open Publish post 729939647 Fast Lane xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:31:16 -04:00

Hello everyone! I don't have much updates (again ;p). Just 'cause my sister's 18th is finally over (pics on my FB, click Facebook up there) and now I'm getting my "me-time" back. It feels like it was just yesterday when we were planning her party and now it's all over. Stressed and drained, I am. It feels fulfilling though. My sister was so happy on her night and so as her guests. She's going to Bora this week and have a week left to spend in Manila to shop (for my stuff too)! Anyway, I'm home alone. It's soooooooo hot outside! +26 on spring????!!!! Can u believe it?! Sun will set by pass 21:00 and Imma go out to jog or maybe eat dinner. It's gonna be this sunny for the whole week so it means I'm gonna wear sandals everyday! Yey! I have to shower now and enjoy the rest of the night!

2010-05-16 19:58:33 2010-05-16 23:58:33 open Publish post 727250670 xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:31:47 -04:00

Ok. Before I start this blog, SHUT UP PONG! Read it first. LMAO! Anyway, I woke up this morning realizing how much will I miss on my sister's 18th birthday. We've been together forever. Every single birthday she had, all the birthday parties I threw and she was actually the one who blew the candles on my 18th birthday cake. I feel so sad that I won't be able to share this moment with her. Not even dad or mom, but she understands how it is. She knows we want nothing but the best for her. We're giving her everything she deserves. She's the only reason why we're working hard here. We may miss her night but I will surely throw a party once she gets back from Manila. The feeling just got me nostalgic. The party's theme suits her best. If you know her since she was a kid, you know what I'm talking about. Look at her pic up there :)) She was very witty and "bibang-biba"! As she grew up, she became better and better. She doesn't drink/smoke. She barely go to clubs. She knows her responsibilities. She's a walking-periodic-table-of-elements. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. She can sing and surely is good in dancing. She says what she wants to say. She's way more than just a Facebook photo-whore. She CAN'T be friends with everyone, she will befriend you if she feels like to, but if not, she just doesn't like you at all. haha! If u love her, she'll love you more. Hate her? Hell she cares! :)) I experienced everything first hand! LOL! Sure we fought now and then but our personalities are like the Yin and the Yang. There were times that we're on opposite poles but I think for sisters, it comes naturally that you both find your equator. She is my ultimate enemy and my best-est friend at the same time. She's my greatest critic, my hilarious entertainer, my worst listener, my pentium1-diary, my partner-in-shopping but not in crime and lies, my clothes-sneaker, my pms-ing helper, my messy roommate, my reading-bugger, my party-killer, my science-translator, my stuff-breaker, my finicky shoe-mate, my meanest boy-meter, my financial-abuser, my weirdest chef, my favorite bugger, my loveliest Barbie, my drive to success, my first favor to God, my priceless treasure, my one and only sister...Reizel.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY PONGALIT!!!

2010-05-06 04:54:28 2010-05-06 08:54:28 open Publish post 726653699 xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:32:21 -04:00

I haven't checked my MySpace for ages until today and I received the most retard message I have ever read!

"hello angle how are you to day hope fine i was on ur profile ealre today i found it so intresting. i felt like making u my closed friend. i am so intresting of u so i deside to writte this maill to u i dont know if u will be kind enough to acepte me. u know u girls are some how defficut. i will be gratefull if u acept and maill me back with this maill ikdon@***.com. so to tell u more about me and give u my pic hopeing to ear frome u soonest thanks"

Wala lang I just find it hilarious! Plus I need to entertain myself while finishing the details on my sister's 18th. It's gonna be huge! I hope she'll be happy even if Mom, Dad and I can't be there. Anyways... I don't have much updates for you. I've been working so hard lately and on my last meeting with my TS, he informed me that I'm currently ranking #1 for the entire department Isn't it awesome? I still have lates though, BUT I'm working on that! The city bus schedule sucks! I hate it! And I'll never get used to it! I have to buy a car before winter! I still have several months to save up. And speaking of saving up, I might start saving or rather TRY saving after my birthday. Yes! My birthday's coming up in 2 months. If you're in MNL, it's a long time for you but here, it's over before u even know it! But before that, of course, Reizel's debut party is knocking me out. I'm actually finishing the final plot right now so I could send it to my Tita tomorrow. FYI, it's already 4:54 am CST here. Yesterday, I slept after lunch na and I wasn't able to finish it so now I have to really wrap it up. She's leaving soon and I'm dying out of envy! LOL! Last minute preps drove me gaga (like OMGaga! - that's my fave expression lately! haha!)... but they're all set now. So yeah, that's it for the meantime. I'm just waiting for Rachel's email for the new collection and send eveything to Tita then I can finally sleep.

P.S. ---- Since Rachel has been a huge help on my chaos lately, pls visit her collection and SHOP! You'll surely love every piece!

http://poisonberrymanila.multiply.com

2010-05-02 06:05:48 2010-05-02 10:05:48 open Publish post 726439429 BZ xaxcxexlx Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:33:41 -04:00

I've been so busy lately... with my sister's homecoming and at work. Barely touch my notebook. I'm uber-attached with my new BB ^_^ ...told u guys that I was planning to get Bold or Storm. So, I ended up getting a white BlackBerry Bold 9000. Touchscreens are getting boring . Posted that photo up there 'cause it looks like downtown Peg. Been such a work-a-holic! OT's and yeah, on my last evaluation, I'm ranking #1 for the whole department All the hardworks are paying off. I'll be busier until the end of next month, it's my sister's 18th (I think e'rybody knows it na anyway!) and I already have my Med Insurance. I'll get my eyes checked (I left Manila with a 20-20 vision and now FML!), teeth bleached (if necessary, braces or retainers), general medical exam (CBC again of course!) and MASSAGE!!! hehe For this week naman, I'm off tomorrow, chocolate-shopping with mom for pasalubong... and TRY to cook spaghetti haha! I won't be going out nor date anyone, well, not until June. I have heaps of things to accomplish this coming month...so I need to focus focus focus! That's it for now, it's almost 5am CST here! :)) XO

2010-04-26 05:21:42 2010-04-26 09:21:42 open Publish post 726095266 Home xaxcxexlx Fri, 23 Apr 2010 16:49:49 -04:00 I miss home. My sister's going back in a few weeks and I envy her so much! lol 2010-04-23 16:37:18 2010-04-23 20:37:18 open Publish post 725947367 Good Sunday Morning xaxcxexlx Sun, 02 May 2010 06:42:10 -04:00

I slept late last night (went out w/ friends) but woke up so early this morning. I dunno why, but it's a good thing though 'cause I have to revise the video and edit some photos for the soireè that I was talking about on my previous post. Imma start in a while but before I go, I wanna share these sites. So u guys can go shopping even if ure just bumming on ur couch. I chose these sites because they're my personal favorite shops online. Some of them were already featured on magazines and/or tv shows. I barely shop online just 'cause Winnipeg got American Apparel, Urban Behavior and Urban Planet which I mostly buy my stuff from and if I have more money, I can go to Swank! And oh, you can also be a real winner in Winners! I only buy clothes/shoes online IF I really love it and the price isn't rip off. So here they are... HAPPY SHOPPING!!!

2010-04-11 13:48:21 2010-04-11 17:48:21 open Publish post 725171897 ClosetKid.com xaxcxexlx Sun, 02 May 2010 06:45:57 -04:00

Hey guys! This will be my first post for April. Boo! I know! Sorry I've been way too busy with work, family, friends and organizing a very special soirée. My YMCA membership got voided too 'cause I don't have spare time. They require at least 6 visits or use of the facilities every month to keep your membership but yeah I am that busy! I'm in front of my laptop all the time working on an upcoming "something" but have no time to blog. So quick update lang for now but I promise I'll try to post as much as I can kahit using my phone lang. I'm planning to get a new BB next week. If you have any suggestions on what model, just post it on my Chatterbox right there > > >. I had 2 hours of sleep last night. Sabog much? haha! And I'm still up this late tonight. Well, I just want to post this site. So u guys can pick up some ideas for the summer season (spring here). Few people kept asking me for fashion tips kasi on my Formspring.com/xAxCxExLx ...So, I'll just post some fashion feeds/finds na lang online since I'm not a fashion guru naman no! As Ive said, JUST BE YOURSELF and WEAR WHAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. Nakakaloka lang kasi ung ibang questions sa Formspring ko. haha! Some of 'em, hindi ko na sinagot 'coz they're just lame and might hurt people pa but most of the questions naman, sinagot ko. Anyways, here's the site na... c/o Laureen Uy

http://www.closetkid.com/

2010-04-09 02:27:10 2010-04-09 06:27:10 open Publish post 725029355 Sea of Shoes xaxcxexlx Mon, 29 Mar 2010 01:31:40 -04:00

Jane Aldridge's fashion blogsite:

www.seaofshoes.com

click! U won't regret it :)

2010-03-29 01:31:00 2010-03-29 05:31:00 open Publish post 724388866 UB xaxcxexlx Sat, 27 Mar 2010 01:12:57 -04:00

Sana matanggap na ko sa Urban Behavior

2010-03-27 01:11:45 2010-03-27 05:11:45 open Publish post 724277301 Sunshine xaxcxexlx Fri, 26 Mar 2010 01:10:27 -04:00

I won't rush this time. But yes, I found The One.

2010-03-26 01:09:47 2010-03-26 05:09:47 open Publish post 724220664 HAARP Technology xaxcxexlx Thu, 25 Mar 2010 02:40:09 -04:00 2010-03-25 02:39:29 2010-03-25 06:39:29 open Publish post 724165685 After reading about the 2010 Haiti earthquake, the 6th deadliest earthquake in recorded history, and the 2010 Chile earthquake, the fifth strongest earthquake since 1900, I started reading a bit more on HAARP. http://templestream.xanga.com/731631025/do-christians-need-a-head-adjustment/ 1 2010-08-18 09:34:00 2010-08-18 13:34:00 templestream [email protected] http://templestream.xanga.com/ 0 34825592 0 1515783879 Springing Spring xaxcxexlx Sun, 02 May 2010 06:47:22 -04:00

Hey everyone! I'm on a break right now, so might as well blog. Not a work break... but a break from a major room cleaning. I worked 7 days straight this week and now enjoying my 3-days off... cleaning! haha! It's fun! For real! I didn't notice I have this much stuff already since we moved here! So they need to be organized. Plus I'm switching my wardrobe from Fall/Winter to Spring/Summer 2010 'cause today is the first official day of Spring! Bye winter coats, hello summer dresses!

And while I do that, here's what I have on my tube:

2010-03-20 19:05:45 2010-03-20 23:05:45 open Publish post 723905524 xaxcxexlx Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:42:40 -05:00 Im currently on the tub right now. ;p I dont wanna fall asleep so I thought of blogging. There are so many random things in my head right now. Bills, him, school, work, party, friends, family and my sister's 18th. 2010's first quarter had been pretty expensive for me :D and now I have more splurging to come. The sectional this month then Bravia on April 2nd, iPad will be out on the 3rd but Im thinking of MacAir instead, I need a new laptop! Im not MALUHO ok? I just wanna stop fighting with my dad over his Farmville! LOL! Reizel's 18th is the most pain in the a$$! From the very small details to the huge plans, I have to organize everything. And it's the hardest party I have ever planned! Not to mention the pasalubongs that she has to bring for our family and friends back home. I have to do some budgeting. I might have to use my savings. But it's all good. Whatever makes her happy, Im happier. And of course I would never stop thanking God for all the blessings. Every part of my life at this moment is all in control. That's why I dont want a bf right now. I admit that I'm crazy-in-love with a guy though. But I like it to stay this way, no strings, just inspired. :) Tomorrow, I'm scheduled for a morning shift and have to head straight to Jo's 18th after work (kasama narin paperview for Manny's fight! Haha!). On Thursday, Republic (the busiest club here) turns 1! I won't miss that! If I have to go with my white friends, I will but I really wanna go with my pinoy friends of course. I need to have some fun and learn to balance work and play before school starts. 'Cause for sure I'l be so dead by then. Less than 4 months and I'll be on the quarter of my life. Yay! Im excited to plan my bday! Imma rent a Hummer-Limo! I swear! Haha! Reiz will be legal by that time so we gun party hard when she gets back for my 25th. Imma bring Manila life here! Why mope around missing the limelight back home when u can juz bring it on here!? Life's short. We only live once, make it worth it! 2010-03-13 00:41:59 2010-03-13 05:41:59 open Publish post 723443112 Blair aka juicystar07 xaxcxexlx Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:01:23 -05:00

Kahit super arte nya, I'm learning a lot from her vlogs

2010-03-11 01:00:43 2010-03-11 06:00:43 open Publish post 723328743 When I Grow Up xaxcxexlx Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:22:56 -04:00

Sorry guys! I promised to blog yesterday but I didn't. I slept for like 15 hours! I had to rest after all the chaos of the past weeks. Well, I'm still in chaos though. But I'm starting to manage it. The mass yesterday helped me a lot in realizing which should I prioritize in my life right now. Back home, I've had the most excruciating heartbreaks. Malas! But I've realized it wasn't just because of my unlucky fate in love, it was certainly because of my decisions and actions before. I was not wise enough. I always let my heart dominates.

I didn't realize I've been here for almost a year now. Canada is truly a fast-paced place. Work, eat, sleep, mall, Church and Internet. Simple life. For months, I had liquor twice, I went out once and I haven't been to a club yet. Very far from my life back home. I miss it so much. I miss my friends and of course my family. But I chose to move here. I made that decision together with my family. Not just because of my own future, but also for my sister. I'm going back to school this fall. By then, my future starts. That means I'll be much busier. I'm still debating whether to take Pharma or CGA. Pharmacy is my sister's course, so we could share books and be cheatmates but I'm also thinking it will take me years. So I thought of taking Accounting, not only it can be my MBA but I already have knowledge and experiences on it. But that doesn't mean I don't have any on Pharma. I love Chemistry! But these are not the issues or those so-called chaos I've mentioned. Love always knocks me down whenever I'm on my best. I'm all set now and ready for my plans in life. Then someone came along. Unexpectedly. The worst part is, he is the best man I have ever met. I've never felt this crazy ever! And you know what's funny? I rejected him. Stupid much? I know!!! But I have to use my brain this time. I can't let loose right now. I am so in control of my life. I have so much responsibilities, plans, goals and dramas in my life right now. I just can't fall. I've grown up

http://kelvinlesterlee.wordpress.com/2007/12/21/career-vs-love-which-would-you-pick/

2010-03-09 01:26:35 2010-03-09 06:26:35 open Publish post 723215185 It's So White, It Hurts My Eyes xaxcxexlx Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:51:11 -05:00

Hi xangans! I'm sorry for not blogging these past few days. I've been so busy with work and with my new "Sunshine" . Did I just say that? Haha! Yeah, I am head-over-heels in love with a guy right now and this is the very first time I felt this extreme towards a person! I'm actually starting to become annoying! Haha! So, Imma shut up now! BTW, we just got home from Brandon, visited Ate Ela and her family. It has been a freezing foggy day today. Too scary to drive on the road but I love the scenery though, everything's white. Imma have supper in a while and rest, can't go to Republic with friends tonight 'cause I'm still tired from the trip. I have to rest and we'll see if I can go out some time soon. I promise to blog tomorrow. Xoxo! NA

2010-03-06 22:50:32 2010-03-07 03:50:32 open Publish post 723089895 Signs? xaxcxexlx Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:18:39 -05:00

From all the devastating calamities that are happening in the world today, call me a freak but it really is scary.

2010-02-28 19:18:00 2010-03-01 00:18:00 open Publish post 722723646 ▌♥ ▌GO CANADA GO ▌♥ ▌ xaxcxexlx Sun, 28 Feb 2010 15:11:32 -05:00

CANADA vs U.S.A

Men's Ice Hockey Finals on now!!!

Sa inyo na ang basketball! Hockey is our game!!!

2010-02-28 15:10:51 2010-02-28 20:10:51 open Publish post 722716459 In 5 Years. xaxcxexlx Sun, 28 Feb 2010 04:37:11 -05:00

2010-02-28 04:36:33 2010-02-28 09:36:33 open Publish post 722679978 Spring is Coming xaxcxexlx Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:09:49 -05:00

my favourite morning! Tims Double Double

I can wear shorts now ...with leggings though

2010-02-26 02:07:59 2010-02-26 07:07:59 open Publish post 722550863 xaxcxexlx Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:03:17 -05:00

Gold: Yu Na Kim (South Korea)

Silver: Mao Asada (Japan)

Bronze: Joannie Rochette (Canada)

2010-02-26 02:02:39 2010-02-26 07:02:39 open Publish post 722550697 xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:02:11 -05:00

Tessa and Scott won gold in Ice Dance for Canada...IN CANADA!

Tonight, I have two skaters to cheer for! Joannie Rochette for Canada and Kim Yu Na of South Korea but with a Canadian coach and training in Toronto. Kim Yu Na, as the reigning world champion and Grand Prix champion, she is expected to win gold tonight. But with plenty of competitions on the rink just like Mao Asada of Japan, one of Kim's fiercest rivals, is capable of throwing a triple axel, something no other competitor is likely to try and other Japanese skaters Miki Ando and Akiko Suzuki as well as Canada's Joannie Rochette pose a formidable challenge.

Few minutes and let the game begin!

2010-02-23 20:01:31 2010-02-24 01:01:31 open Publish post 722420662 My #1 Style Icon xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:03:57 -05:00

Olivia Toledo Palermo

2010-02-23 18:03:19 2010-02-23 23:03:19 open Publish post 722417528 I Strongly Recommend xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:51:58 -05:00

http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/

2010-02-23 17:51:20 2010-02-23 22:51:20 open Publish post 722417111 The Wait is Over xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:47:01 -05:00 2010-02-23 17:46:22 2010-02-23 22:46:22 open Publish post 722416947 xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:10:48 -05:00

2010-02-23 03:10:08 2010-02-23 08:10:08 open Publish post 722377004 Yoga Accepts. Yoga Gives. xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:15:14 -05:00

After gaining weight due to the holidays and so

much pigging out lately, I need this.

2010-02-23 02:11:04 2010-02-23 07:11:04 open Publish post 722375355 I Am So Back In Xanga xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:16:17 -05:00

I just recovered this blogsite. This is my first ever blog. So now, I decided to revamp it. From now on, I'll make it public so everyone can check it.

2010-02-21 20:22:56 2010-02-22 01:22:56 open Publish post 722303590 C H A N E L xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:53:57 -05:00

2008-02-17 15:05:30 2008-02-17 20:05:30 open Publish post 642877664 Anna Wintour xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:30:46 -05:00 2007-10-23 05:59:03 2007-10-23 09:59:03 open Publish post 623037643 Dream Room xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:36:37 -05:00

Mariah Carey's closet.

2007-10-11 16:28:55 2007-10-11 20:28:55 open Publish post 620980034 Spice Girls is LOVE :)) xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:14:09 -05:00 2007-10-08 13:40:48 2007-10-08 17:40:48 open Publish post 620412775 Jason and LC xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:18:50 -05:00 2007-10-08 10:09:03 2007-10-08 14:09:03 open Publish post 620357229 Very Audrey Hepburn xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:49:31 -05:00

2007-10-05 19:02:46 2007-10-05 23:02:46 open Publish post 619883787 The Last Hug xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:47:37 -05:00

Reserved the best for last. THE LAST HUG!

How do u say farewell to a person who you selflessly loved? I dont know how, although a whirlwind it was, it was the best rollercoaster ride of my life! So I just hugged him near, in that instance I had no sense of time! I just remember trying to embrace the love of my life, praying time would stop running forth, unfortunately no cooperation, the clock kept ticking! I released him but couldnt bear it, so I held him close one last time, cherishing preciously this human being that taught me to let go of my jadedness and allow myself to love. The most difficult moment was that last farewell glance, turning & walking away. Wish I could pull myself to glimpse back but I was scared I couldnt control myself and would run back, then I wouldnt be able turn my back once again. Im fulfilled with my decision to let be my emotions, to just let go, stop trying to control. No regrets. It was liberatingly freeing!

Thanx ATE... for all the night-outs, drinking sessions and melancholic songs that made me cry out really loud! It felt so good to let it all out though! and yah thanx for escorting me with all the bottles of beer even if u cant even finish a bottle! It's the effort that counts! lav ya!

Thanx RIA... for never getting tired of listening to my endless ranting! and for being my hero against Pyke! hehe! Thanx for the long hours of chikahan!

Thanx BRY... for always checking up on me, for ticking me off when I skipped meals and for the libres! hehe!

Thanx ANGEL... for all the sleepless-sleepovers! haha! and for being my pretty nurse! We've been together for 9 looong years, u know the whole story! Thanx for EVERYTHING!

Thanx PYKE... FOR NOT SPEAKING TO ME FOR TWO MONTHS!!! It helped! I know how much u despise him! If y'all will form a petition party against him... I know u will be the President / Founder / Vice-Pres / Sec / Tres / blah blah blah!!! I still love u though! BUT It doesn't mean that I finally realized that I should've listened to u coz Carlos, It won't happen! COZ I HAVE NO REGRETS!!! I dont care if u dont understand why, how come, what am I thinking blah blah blah... basta! WE'VE BEEN HAPPY AND THAT'S ENOUGH. Believe it or not!!! Just pls be happy for me, I may not be able to smile at the moment.. but in time I will... hope soon... it's painful, still... but it will pay off sooner or later... I just need you beside me :) luv u Pyke! ..and happy bday! thanx again for inviting me... I ran out under the heavy rain just to get to Mindanao Ave! hmp! but it was worth it coz of our CEASEFIRE! hehe!

Thanx BEZ(Yadh)...for the calls and for making me cuento sooo daym long! Thanx for listening and helping me realized everything! I miss u! See u soon!

U'll be the last guy I'll ever love this much!!! Thanx for making me the happiest!!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! I miss everything we used to do together! There are so many things that remind me of u! It's getting harder and tougher! Just pls don't waste everything, PLS BE SURE THAT WHAT HAPPENED WILL MAKE U HAPPIER!

2007-10-05 15:07:29 2007-10-05 19:07:29 open Publish post 619869888 Be Deaf! xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:50:47 -05:00

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WON'T HURT YOU!!!

2007-09-17 11:26:21 2007-09-17 15:26:21 open Publish post 616516200 Me Missing You xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:46:02 -05:00

Missing You – Case

Standing here looking out my window

My nights are long and my days are cold

Cause I don't have you

How can I be so damn demanding

I know you said that it's over now

But I can't let go

Every day I want to pick up the phone

And tell you that

You're everything I need and more

If only I could find you

Like a cold summer afternoon

Like the snow coming down in June

Like a wedding without a groom

I'm missing you

I'm the desert without the sand

You're the woman without a man

I'm the ring without a hand

I'm missing you

Driving 'round thought I saw you pass me

My rearview mirror's playing tricks on me

Cause you fade away

Maybe I'm just hallucinating

Cause my loneliness got the best of me

And my heart's so weak.

2007-09-13 19:48:38 2007-09-13 23:48:38 open Publish post 615827491 aww I miss Cold Rock :D ya bet we can do this better! haha! xaxcxexlx Sun, 04 Nov 2007 22:38:54 -05:00 2007-09-05 18:09:58 2007-09-05 22:09:58 open Publish post 614322473 xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:48:39 -05:00 Will I ever find someone like you again? 2007-08-31 11:53:39 2007-08-31 15:53:39 open Publish post 613289781 Stupidity and Love xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:54:58 -05:00

I was browsing some multiply sites and ended up at my sister's schoolmate's multiply. lil lady yet big heartache! tsk tsk tsk! WE'RE IN A COMMON STATE. So I got interested with her blog. I felt sad and disappointed again. kanino? kanino pa ba? eh di sa mga boys!

I hate forcing myself to let go of one person that I need in my life, it's the only thing that makes sense but at the same time, it's the same thing that complicates me! I KNOW THAT I AM BETTER OFF WITHOUT THAT PERSON, YET I FEEL EMPTY WHENEVER I TRY TO LET GO! Is emptiness better than constant hurting?

*even the smartest people make the most stupid mistake.. WHEN IN LOVE.*

2007-08-25 06:27:13 2007-08-25 10:27:13 open Publish post 612099335 xaxcxexlx Fri, 20 Jul 2007 06:39:22 -04:00 The Allstars @ Wave's D'Gathering Sheenz for Mtv VJ Hunt(check out Jon on the last part! haha! so so dazed!) Kenjhons' single: "I'll Be Your Angel"(I really looove this song!!!) 2007-07-20 06:39:22 2007-07-20 10:39:22 open Publish post 605126993 Hey Doll * just browsing around xanga. your page is wayy cute! feel free to stop by mine & comment/subscribe! take care xOx &hearts' kate 1 2007-07-20 09:17:00 2007-07-20 13:17:00 BoMBSHELLandBRAiNS [email protected] http://bombshellandbrains.xanga.com/ 0 26294079 0 1349249707 Simei Singapore xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:58:42 -05:00

2007-07-16 10:28:28 2007-07-16 14:28:28 open Publish post 604347320 The Art of LV xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:01:51 -05:00

2007-06-04 16:10:07 2007-06-04 20:10:07 open Publish post 595534428 Bento Fun xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:05:56 -05:00

I don't want to eat it!

2007-05-17 15:15:57 2007-05-17 19:15:57 open Publish post 591443064 Funner Shopping xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:08:57 -05:00

LV Japan

2007-05-12 03:56:08 2007-05-12 07:56:08 open Publish post 590166962 last weekend @ Tierra Nevada xaxcxexlx Mon, 23 Apr 2007 06:51:23 -04:00

2007-04-23 06:50:34 2007-04-23 10:50:34 open Publish post 585846806 I'm A Big Fan xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:12:30 -05:00

Steve Aoki is LOVE!!!

2007-04-19 08:54:00 2007-04-19 12:54:00 open Publish post 584988403 xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 20:57:15 -05:00

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” -English proverb

2007-04-06 17:38:51 2007-04-06 21:38:51 open Publish post 582169400 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:56:14 -05:00

2007-03-29 11:00:16 2007-03-29 15:00:16 open Publish post 580278146 PHA xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:16:09 -05:00

2007-03-17 20:47:36 2007-03-18 00:47:36 open Publish post 577599925 The Dance of Love xaxcxexlx Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:04:58 -05:00

I heard the crowd clapping and cheering as I stepped on the ice. My skating friends shouted, “Go, Ace!” I tried hard not to blush, but a grin crept over my face just like it always did whenever my friends called out their support to me. I reached my starting spot on the ice and took my opening position. I hoped all the hard work and many hours of practice would help me achieve my dream to win.

My music began – a selection from the flick soundtrack of Step Up (it was the fastest routine I’ve ever danced!). Like a light stroke of a paintbrush on a canvas, my arm drew across my body, and my eyes followed out to my fingertips. I pushed off on my left foot with three powerful strokes into a Mohawk followed by a loop jump. I smiled as my blade curved a clean cut through the ice, and I held the landing, making sure all the judges could see. I pumped my legs with powerful crossovers until I was at the corner of the rink. I stretched my leg and jabbed my toe pick into the ice, which lifted me into a flip jump. Yes! I thought and gave another giant smile.

My next moves needed to match the beats of the music exactly. I did a waltz jump, with a ballet jump following. I could hear the music; I was going too fast. I did some fancy three turns so that the music would catch up. Now! Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. I danced on my toes to the high notes of the piano. I tightened my body for my low, fast sit spin and came out of the spin with two back crossovers. So far, things were going great. My energy was high as I followed the music in my mind.

Already it was time to wind up my program. My last 45 seconds included required footwork, a combination jump, and a sequence of spirals. To position myself for my footwork, I prepared to do a second Mohawk. I swayed my leg. Then suddenly my foot slipped out from underneath me, and I hit the ice with a thud. The crowd gasped. My teeth were jarred from the impact, but I popped right back up.

I had never fallen in a competition before, and my first thought was to skate off the ice into my mom’s comforting arms. I had worked so hard, and now I felt like I had thrown it all away. After all the hours I had spent preparing, why did I have to fall on such a simple maneuver in front of an audience? The judges would never award me a first. I had ruined everything.

But in that same instant, I kept going. I remembered my coach saying, “The skater who gets up and keeps going, no matter how hard it is, is truly a winner.” I remembered my parents telling me, “It doesn’t matter whether you come in first or last as long as you try your hardest and enjoy yourself.” I had worked too hard to quit now. I was determined to focus.

I smiled as I skated toward my flip-loop combination and landed with a wobble. The crowd clapped enthusiastically and my music began to slow to the end. I stretched my back leg for a spiral sequence across the ice. I stretched from one edge to another, lowered my leg , and did a slow back pivot to a standing pose with my chest in the air and my head and arms arched back. The crowd applauded loudly as I bowed and skated off the ice.

I stopped at the boards and stepped of the ice. MJ smiled encouragingly, and my mom hugged me tight, whispering in my ear that I had done a wonderful job. I slipped on my guards and sat down on the “kiss and cry”. I was still breathing hard and my legs wouldn’t stop shaking. As I waited for my score to be posted, I thought about how much I love this sport, and I decided it didn’t matter what I had placed.

Later that evening I was scheduled to skate a coupletech performance with my lil sis, Reizel, so we decided to eat first and rest. I changed into some warm-ups, smoothed my White velvet ice dress, and tucked it into my skating bag. As we walked out of the ice rink toward our car, Vernice, one of Reizel’s skating friends, asked what I had placed.

“Fifth,” I told her proudly.

“That’s great, Ate,” she said. “And goodluck tonight.”

“Thanx!” I replied.

As we drove back to our house, I thought about my day. I had grown up a lot, and I had a new way of looking at performing. I truly realized what my coach meant when he said, “When you fall, especially in a performance, you get stronger, because when you finish something, even if it’s not perfect, there is a feeling of accomplishment.” I was a winner today because I got up and finished my routine with a smile.

When I am skating, I feel relaxed, peaceful, and as light as the sand crystals that blow along the beach. What matters is that every day I am learning and trying my best. What matters is that I LOVE TO SKATE.

It was my final competition. I will miss iceskating so much! Bye ice, Hello waves!

2007-03-13 09:27:37 2007-03-13 13:27:37 open Publish post 576571779 Up North xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:28:35 -05:00

Here’s a cuento from my Baguio trip last week…

THURSDAY night (Feb 22 ‘07)

FRIDAY (Feb 23 ‘07)

Background music: Jamelia’s Superstar (the girls gone gaga!)

- they have the best Mais Con Hielo! Hehe ;p

I got the ugliest tanline! Coz I was wearin a shirt! d@mn it!

SURF’S UP!!!

…took McArthur instead of Kenon! Hehe! I was scared to death!

Background music: STRAIGHT CUT!!! (Georg sucks! Haha!)

SATURDAY (Feb 24 ‘07)

-5 girls (including me!) went to Burnham Park

-riding a banca was fun! Rowing’s not though!

- they ate dinner, I did not, my tummy ached!

- camwhorin’ and shoppin’ with my cousins!

-after dinner, the girls and I played like lil kids with the uber fun help of the camera! ***check out my multiply: http://acel07.multiply.com/ ***

SUNDAY (Feb 25 ‘07)

· 30 floats! Politicians! Celebs! Vast crowd!

- ate pizza in the car then left Baguio na!

- Background music? – Lady Sovereign! Best roadtrip ever!

2007-03-12 07:09:06 2007-03-12 11:09:06 open Publish post 576302030 Breakfast at Tiffany`s xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:31:43 -05:00

Thanks Babe!

2007-02-18 20:53:19 2007-02-19 01:53:19 open Publish post 571391131 Sentosa xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:36:41 -05:00 2007-02-18 20:38:56 2007-02-19 01:38:56 open Publish post 571389363 You Copycat xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:36:56 -05:00

YOU’RE FLATTERING ME TOO MUCH!!!

2007-02-08 19:17:29 2007-02-09 00:17:29 open Publish post 568945017 Adrian and Paris xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:37:13 -05:00

They look so cute together!

2007-02-03 07:28:42 2007-02-03 12:28:42 open Publish post 567615300 Sheena, the Japanese Doll xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:38:20 -05:00

@ Emba Cafeteria

2007-02-02 15:03:07 2007-02-02 20:03:07 open Publish post 567488892 One Day xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:41:19 -05:00

I will see the northern lights someday.

2007-02-02 01:27:54 2007-02-02 06:27:54 open Publish post 567336203 Walk Away xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:48:33 -05:00

Bez! C'est très dur vous permettre d'aller!

Walk Away PAULA DEANDA I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember meI'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember meI saw you with your new girl just yesterdayAnd I feel that I must confessEven though it kills me to have to sayI'll admit that I was impressedPhysically just short of perfectionGotta commend you on your selectionThough I know I shouldn't be concernedIn the back of my mindI can't help but question

Does she rub you feetWhen you've had a long dayScratch your scalpWhen you take out your braidsDoes she know that you

like to Play PS2

till 6 in the morningLike I doI can't explain this feelingI think about it everydayAnd even though we've moved onIt gets so hard to walk away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)Walk Away, Walk Away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)

I can't forget how we used to be

I guess i gotta live my life from day to dayHoping maybe you'll come backAnd though I tell myself not to be afraidTo move on but it seems I can'tBut no other man has given me attentionIt ain't the same as your affectionThough I know I should be contentIn the back of my mindI can't help but question

Does he kiss me on the foreheadBefore we playShow up on my doorstepwith a bouquetDoes he call me in the middle of the dayJust to say

hey baby I love youLike you used toI can't explain this feelingI think about it everydayAnd even though we've moved onIt gets so hard to walk away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)Walk Away, Walk Away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)Walk Away, Walk Away

I can't forget how we used to be

So hard to express this feeling Cause nobody compares to youAnd you know she'll never love you like i do

I can't explain this feelingI think about it everydayAnd even though we've moved onIt gets so hard to walk away(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)Walk Away, Walk AwayRemember You(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)(I'm gonna remember youYou're gonna remember me)

2007-01-31 15:35:14 2007-01-31 20:35:14 open Publish post 567019776 Irina Slutskaya xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:46:08 -05:00

2007-01-29 15:59:45 2007-01-29 20:59:45 open Publish post 566548974 Moonriver xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:48:02 -05:00

The Glamorous Audrey

2007-01-28 06:24:54 2007-01-28 11:24:54 open Publish post 566193610 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:51:42 -05:00

SINGAPURA

Ready to hit the shops in Singapore? You have come to the right destination as shopping, along with eating, is rated as one of the top favorite pastimes here. Shopping is a serious business in Singapore where even hardcore shopaholics who have perfected the art of shopping will surrender to the sheer volume, range and diversity.

Having earned a global reputation as a true shopper’s paradise, Singapore is one giant mall where all your shopping needs can be fulfilled. Each year, millions of visitors from around the world explore the shopping delights in Singapore and treat themselves to one shopping spree after another.

Singapore is a city of duty-free luxury goods, cutting-edge technology and high fashion. It is also arguably one of the best places to hunt for the latest high tech gadgets at competitive prices. From international or local fashion designer labels to made-to-measure clothes in any fabric of your choice, Singapore offers it all. You can also choose to experience shopping in a swanky air-conditioned malls in downtown areas of Orchard Road and Marina Bay, or pick up unique finds in the ethnic claves and for the more adventurous, the suburbs where local residents shop.

For the shopper, the seamless shopping experience is unrivalled. You can be assured of the value and quality of your purchases, especially with the Star Retailers’ Scheme for consumer technology products, and Quality Jewelers’ Scheme for jewelry.

With all this diversity, value and quality that Singapore has to offer, it’s up to you to decide how to vary your shopping experience to create your Uniquely Singapore shopping experience.

No matter where you are on this island, you will never be short of an opportunity to shop to your heart’s delight.

ORCHARD ROAD

Tanglin Area:

Scotts Area:

Tangs to Paragon:

Mandarin Gallery to Park Mall

MARINA BAY

Citylink Mall

Raffles City Shopping Centre

Raffles Hotel Arcade

CHIJMES

Suntec City Mall

Millenia Walk

Esplanade Mall

Marina Square Shopping Mall

CHINATOWN

LITTLE INDIA

KAMPONG GLAM

BUGIS (kayanin mo ang baho dito! Harhar!)

DON’T MISS my fave shops:

The Heeren Shop

Far East Plaza

Bugis Junction

Plaza Singapura

CityLink Mall

2007-01-25 07:15:46 2007-01-25 12:15:46 open Publish post 565519564 xaxcxexlx Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:59:21 -05:00

Dad! She's a real lady now :'(

2007-01-25 05:07:31 2007-01-25 10:07:31 open Publish post 565496085 I love Bloc Party xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:53:14 -05:00

2007-01-20 02:20:32 2007-01-20 07:20:32 open Publish post 564302768 I Heart Memories xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:56:30 -05:00

2007-01-19 12:00:58 2007-01-19 17:00:58 open Publish post 564184696 xaxcxexlx Fri, 12 Jan 2007 19:36:21 -05:00 merci dad! je vous manque! SAMSUNG K5Je vous parie ne peut pas vous permettre d'acheter ceci fille pauvre! 2007-01-12 19:26:00 2007-01-13 00:26:00 open Publish post 562561594 xaxcxexlx Tue, 09 Jan 2007 15:33:43 -05:00

Be part of the night

that will be written in history!back to back GRAND party

JAN 10 07 @ Prince of Jaipur, The FORt

as we call all the

B-U-tiful ladiesto celebrate this night of

"TAG! UR HOT!"

and the birth of

"PRICELESS PRODUCTIONS"let the hot, gorgeous, steaming sexy ladies

fill the club w/ FREE SHOTS

as we dance to the rhythm

of an unforgettable night..brought to you by the

genuine hip hop and rnb djs and mcs.let the earthshaking nights begin!need we say more?..free entrance for everyone!

coz our party is your party!c yah!

2007-01-09 15:31:51 2007-01-09 20:31:51 open Publish post 561846635 Pretty Sunrise xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:58:20 -05:00

I had to wake up as early as 5 AM today to start training for the upcoming 2007 Grand prix Philippine Open Figure-Skating Championship. This will be my last competition coz I decided to enter the pipemasters world! Yeh boi! I am so excited to ride the waves!

Today, my goal will be the Bielman position and spins. My lesson will start at 10 AM but I have to warm up and try freestyle before getting to coach MJ. Reiz has her dance class (8-10AM), I’ll just meet her at the rink later together with Rozz.

2007-01-08 19:05:24 2007-01-09 00:05:24 open Publish post 561643529 M's xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:00:54 -05:00

2007-01-04 12:44:03 2007-01-04 17:44:03 open Publish post 560734816 Cherish xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:01:27 -05:00 Let's take a walk together near the ocean shore hand in hand you and I Let's cherish every moment we have been given for time is passing by I often pray before I lay down by your side If you receive your calling before I awake Could I make it through the night? Cherish the love we have We should cherish the life we live Cherish the love, cherish the life, cherish the love Cherish the love we have For as long as we both shall live Cherish the love, cherish the life, cherish the love The world is always changing, nothing stays the same But love will stand the test of time The next life that we live in remains to be seen Will you be by my side I often pray before I lay down by your side And if you receive your calling before I awake Could I make it through the night? 2006-12-30 17:33:49 2006-12-30 22:33:49 open Publish post 559597262 random pix xaxcxexlx Thu, 04 Jan 2007 13:02:36 -05:00

2006-12-30 16:59:43 2006-12-30 21:59:43 open Publish post 559594142 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:57:54 -05:00

2006-12-29 15:29:34 2006-12-29 20:29:34 open Publish post 559389895 White Will Always Be Sexy xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:06:09 -05:00

2006-12-22 13:52:38 2006-12-22 18:52:38 open Publish post 557913758 Awe xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:12:22 -05:00

2006-12-19 06:34:08 2006-12-19 11:34:08 open Publish post 556988343 Blue Crush *love watchin it over & over again!* xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:13:00 -05:00

Life for Anne Marie has been one long Pipe dream. She's about to make that dream a reality if she can keep from drowning in her own fear. As the clock ticks down to the Pipe Masters surf competition on the North Shore of Oahu, more is at stake for Anne Marie than the pressure of competing in one of the world's most dangerous, aggressive and male-dominated sports. She must first win a dreaded contest within. Sharing a beach shack with her best friends Eden and Lena, and her rebellious younger sister Penny, Anne Marie lives for the adrenaline-charged surf scene, rising before dawn every day to charge the Pipeline's deadly waves. The friends eke out a living as maids in a luxury resort hotel. The humble job pays the bills and lets them keep their focus on the water. But things change when a pro football team with slovenly habits and fat wallets checks in. Like it or not, Anne Marie starts losing her balance--and finding it--as she falls for quarterback Matt Tollman. Suddenly there are options: trophy wife or trophy winner? But there's really only one choice for someone like Anne Marie. Matt knows it, too--that's why he likes her. And when Anne Marie faces a paralyzing moment of truth on the biggest day of her life, Matt is there along with Lena, Eden and Penny, to help her remember why the goal that has driven her for so long matters so much.

Also Known As:

Surf Girls

Surf Girls of Maui

Production Status:

Released

Genres:

Action/Adventure, Comedy and Romance

Running Time:

1 hr. 49 min.

Release Date:

August 16th, 2002

MPAA Rating:

PG-13 for sexual content, teen partying, language and a fight.

Distributors:

Universal Pictures Distribution

Production Co.:

Imagine Entertainment, Shutt-Jones Productions

Studios:

Universal Pictures

U.S. Box Office:

$40,118,420

Filming Locations:

Oahu, Hawaii, USA

Produced in:

United States

2006-12-15 08:14:23 2006-12-15 13:14:23 open Publish post 555991783 The F Shots xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:14:36 -05:00

2006-12-14 02:19:30 2006-12-14 07:19:30 open Publish post 555666620 Renditions xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:15:17 -05:00 Joshua Desiderio of Freestyle Paolo Banaga of K24/7 2006-11-09 06:46:09 2006-11-09 11:46:09 open Publish post 545888323 Candy Stirrer xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:16:55 -05:00

2006-11-01 17:18:33 2006-11-01 22:18:33 closed Publish post 543508813 Winnipeg, See You Soon. xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:18:10 -05:00

2006-10-24 12:11:36 2006-10-24 16:11:36 open Publish post 540857295 Belle, You Are The Most Beautiful Pinay Ever! xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:19:37 -05:00

2006-09-12 11:42:36 2006-09-12 15:42:36 open Publish post 528485463 Ms. Hilton`s Closet xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:21:36 -05:00

2006-08-19 11:40:46 2006-08-19 15:40:46 open Publish post 520768191 Les Deux xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:23:08 -05:00

2006-08-15 13:13:34 2006-08-15 17:13:34 open Publish post 519491935 xaxcxexlx Thu, 14 Dec 2006 01:39:48 -05:00

Ever tried to let go of something so close and dear to your heart that letting it go would be like giving up a part of your life? Sometimes we have to let certain things go even if we don’t want to, because sometimes we end up hurting ourselves even more if we hold on to it.We're only human right? So, I'm pretty sure that we get tired. Maybe at first you'll be like "I can't do it. I can't let go" but trust me you’ll find the strength to let go. When you let go of a person or when the person lets you go, you shouldn't be bitter. You should thank the person for teaching you a lot of things. Maybe someone better was meant for you. Maybe he just had something to teach you. Maybe God gave that person to you to teach you to become stronger. Sometimes letting go is easier. (Yeah, yeah, easier said than done.) It's like holding on to a piece of broken glass, you hold on, you keep on hurting yourself but when you decide to let go, you feel the pain and your hand bleeds but the pain doesn’t last a lifetime. It heals but there will be a mark. Just like in your heart. There will be a mark, a proof, that once in your life you loved someone so much and he taught you a lot of things and that someone taught you to be strong. It won't be easy, but you'll get through it!

2006-08-15 13:04:59 2006-08-15 17:04:59 open Publish post 519488833 xaxcxexlx Thu, 14 Dec 2006 01:40:34 -05:00

By Benjamin Joseph D. Collado IIIPublished on Page C1 of the July 26, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

IT'S ABOUT WAKING UP IN THE morning with a bad hangover and being hit by a very familiar feeling that you went overboard again last night.

It's about a one-night stand with a girl you met at a party, sneaking out of her room before she wakes, checking your things if something was missing, looking for her phone and purposely deleting your number from her phonebook.

It's about meeting a girl at a bar and offering her a ride home. It's about asking her if she wanted to go someplace private so you can talk--when both of you are aware that you have a different "talk" in mind.

It's about meeting your ex again after quite some time and noting how much better she looks now than she did before. It's about pushing the right buttons for her to give in. And finding yourself in bed with her without strings attached, all the while being grateful to your friend who told you it's good not to burn your bridges with your exes.

It's about seeing a girl and finding ways for you to meet her. With pickup lines being overused, you have a better chance of getting her number by having a friend go over and ask her politely if he can have his friend over there introduced to her.

It's about texting with her the whole day, getting to know her, showing that you have a genuine interest in her, sharing sweet nothings on the phone and forwarding her cheesy quotes that work almost all the time.

It's about having your friend, your partner-in-crime, the Robin to your Batman--or whatever you want to call him--validate to her all your pledges of devotion and loyalty.

It's about perfecting the art of lying. Telling your girlfriend it was just you and the boys last night--go ask Robin. And not bothering to tell Robin what to say because he already knows the routine.

It's about keeping your girlfriend happy. Giving her gifts and surprises so she won't suspect your wayward ways.

It's about not caring if your girlfriend broke up with you because she caught you cheating. There are other fish in the sea, you say. You're better off a free man, free to do anything you pleased without worrying about getting caught.

It's about asking the girl you just met out for a date. Convincing her that you're for real. Making her forget about the warnings her friends gave about you.

It's about doing anything so you can bring her home tonight. And if everything else fails, it's always a good idea to have a plan B.

It's about saying the L word without breaking eye contact. Making her believe that you really mean it and that you're starting to fall for her. That's plan B.

It's about thinking of ways to break up with her if she starts to get clingy. Thinking of the standard breakup lines and wondering if she'll buy it.

It's about rushing to your friend's girlfriend with a shoulder to cry on. Telling her that everything's gonna work out fine. Comforting her one minute, making out the next.

It's about going out with your friends and partying all night. Drinking till dawn and playing around with girls.

It's about waking up in the morning with a bad case of hangover and a very familiar feeling that you went overboard again last night.

Deja vu.

Ugly cycle

It really is an ugly cycle. After years of a life like this, you begin to ask yourself if there is more to life than drinking all night and finding someone to hook up with. And in the morning when you wake up, no matter how much you soap yourself, you still have this uneasy feeling that you're still dirty.

Your friend has found a girl that he's serious about. When you go out with your friends, you find him taking a raincheck because he has to spend time with his girl. You and your friends wonder what has gotten into him. You even wonder if he's lost his mind. How can he even think about trading this kind of life? There's nothing better than a bachelor's life.

It's all fun and games the first few years. But after a while, you look at yourself in the mirror and find the traces of abuse you did to yourself. And if you don't change your ways, you fear that maybe someday you'll find yourself alone and lonely.

And after all the years of booze and girls, you can finally sum up your life in one word--empty.

Maybe it's not good to spend your life that way. Maybe your friend hasn't lost his mind, after all.

What you need is to find someone who can make you look forward to another day. Someone who, when you think about her, never fails to put a smile on

your face.

Someone who makes you want to be a better man--to steal a line from pareng Jack Nicholson.

Someone who fills that emptiness in you, making you complete.

Before, when you used to wake up in the morning and find somebody in your arms, your first thought was how you could get rid of her without hurting her feelings. But now, what you need is a girl who makes you want to think of reasons and ways to let her stay in your arms.

Because when she's right there beside you, it is as if everything's okay. That nothing else matters but you and her.

You need somebody who makes you miss her so much that you buy a bottle of her perfume and spray it on your pillows so, when you go to bed at night, you can hug the pillow with her scent on it and wish that it was really her you were hugging.

You need somebody who makes your heart skip a beat when she smiles at you. Who makes you feel so comfortable and safe that you pour out your heart to her, unburdening secrets that you've kept for a long time. And having her tell you that it's okay, you have a new slate now, that you can leave everything where it belongs, in the past, and concentrate on what lies ahead of you.

You need someone who makes you listen more to love songs on the radio. Someone whom you pray for at night before you sleep. Someone you wish you'd dream about, for even while you sleep, you still want to be with her.

Someone whom you can finally look in the eye, without all the guilt and deceit, and tell her you love her. And you get this mushy feeling inside that tells you it's true. You want to shout over the rooftops, you love her, and she loves you!

There's no better feeling in the world.

I have found my someone. I have found my all. I've been wanting to ask this for a long time now. And I think there's no better timing than now.

So here I am, down on one knee, asking you, my someone.

Will you marry me?

Its when you hurt the worst that you have love the most.

2006-08-15 12:31:05 2006-08-15 16:31:05 open Publish post 519475804 xaxcxexlx Tue, 15 Aug 2006 05:13:30 -04:00 2005-12-17 08:04:54 2005-12-17 13:04:54 open Publish post 408214493 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:25:50 -05:00

2005-12-08 05:53:32 2005-12-08 10:53:32 open Publish post 402506386 Comfy & Stylish xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:30:36 -05:00

2005-11-28 11:41:53 2005-11-28 16:41:53 open Publish post 396255686 Dog House? Wow. xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:29:21 -05:00

2005-11-22 14:18:38 2005-11-22 19:18:38 open Publish post 392358736 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:31:25 -05:00 !!! H-A-P-P-Y---B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y---K-A-L-B-O-!!! 2005-09-08 09:48:16 2005-09-08 13:48:16 open Publish post 343688746 Hey I'm Still A Little Girl :) xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:01:18 -05:00

2005-08-22 12:23:49 2005-08-22 16:23:49 open Publish post 332279794 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:03:13 -05:00

I LOVE THIS VIDEO!!!

LIKE YOU - Bow Wow featuring Ciara

(Chorus) I ain't ever had nobody show me all the things That you done showed me In a special way I feel when you hold me We gon' always be together baby That is what you told and I believe it cuz I ain't never had Nobody do me like you Bow Wow Now I done been with different kind of girls So like I done seen them all But ain't none of them at all (like you) And I done seen the best of the best Baby still I ain't impressed cuz Ain't none of them at all (like you) and if you know how I feel when I chill Look if I'm seen with a girl Then she gotta be just (like you) And baby thats the way I feel And I ain't got no choice But for me to keep it real Cuz when we first got together Starting hanging out you was skeptical at first Had to figure out if I was the kind of guy Would try to dog you out but I ain't that kind of guy you try to make me out You found out when you turned to my baby I showed them other brothers How to treat a lady I let you drive when I ride that Mercedes And I ain't trippin' or actin' shady Cuz baby you know (Chorus) I ain't ever had nobody show me all the things That you done showed me In a special way I feel when you hold me We gon' always be together baby That’s what you told and I believe it cuz I ain't never had Nobody do me like you Ciara And everytime I think about you I smile When you ride when you call when you come around Your love is amazing to me I can't wait till I see you (I wanna be with you again) And everytime your out on the road (I'll make a trip) And whenever I'm doing a show (Don't you forget) That I'm your main chick Who got that game chick One in the same chick The one you can hang with (Chorus) I ain't ever had nobody show me all the things That you done showed me In a special way I feel when you hold me We gon' always be together baby That is what you told and I believe it cuz I ain't never had Nobody do me like you Bow Wow Ok we hit the mall pop tags Spend a few G's (Cheesin') Hit the runway to a new season It ain't nothing Spoil the one I care for Feel like I ain't doin' enough That's when I shape off I give you this give you that What chu need love You know I got it Holla at me if you need love In affection cuz I'll be your protection Kinda hard job but I'll do until perfection And you can tell that I ain't tryin' to let you go I get with you when I can So thats how I let you know And you be trippin' cuz sometimes I gotta go But chu the first one I hollared to right after my show Hey now I was trippin' in a sense I was tense but my body's lose around you But I'ma do without you I gotta get it together say whateva Since I met you my life seems so better (Chorus 2 x's) I ain't ever had nobody show me all the things That you done showed me In a special way I feel when you hold me We gon' always be together baby That is what you told and I believe it cuz I ain't never had Nobody do me like you

2005-08-18 03:37:16 2005-08-18 07:37:16 open Publish post 329413838 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:05:29 -05:00

Southerz…see you this weekend!

I effin miss Daytona! Bry… beat me! Haha!

I felt like… I came out from a tomb! Haha!

Can’t wait 2 use my “inaamag” TZ-card again!

Miss hanging out with y'all! I’m comin with my cousin k?

Don’t worry… they’re loadz of fun!

C u all dirtee southerz!

2005-08-17 09:40:19 2005-08-17 13:40:19 open Publish post 328780553 xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:06:22 -05:00

Aya asked me to post this.

"Miss... I don't deserve yer boifriend...I'm too good fer him!...and besides, he doesn't need a lover...he wants a BITCH!!!u deserve him!"

onga naman :))

2005-08-14 10:31:11 2005-08-14 14:31:11 open Publish post 326653538 Over xaxcxexlx Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:45:49 -05:00

I remember the time when there was a special someone who was so much a part of my life. There was hardly a moment we weren’t together. It seemed so perfect. Sure we fought every now and then… but problems were there to help the relationship grow stronger. We would work through the problem, and not just ignore it and hope for it to go away. With all that he and I had been through together for 3 long years, I thought that nothing would ever separate us. But as life would have it, you can’t stay on cloud nine forever.And then… IT HAPPENED!… HE ENDED IT! And found someone else (though I’m still clueless how he lowered himself for that kinda girl). I never thought he could hurt me. I thought I know him that well. That he’s not that kind of person. And worst, hurt me in that fuckin way! LEFT ME… back to ZERO!

I kept asking God why it happened. I totally flipped. I was angry, frustrated, depressed, confused, and hysterical all at once. I kept asking myself… Why? What happened? What did Ido? I couldn’t sleep nor eat for a week… I’d just cry my eyes out! I would close my eyes and see his face. I’d look around me and almost everything would remind me of him. I’d hear songs and remember him. There were times that I’d be out with our common friends and I would think I’d see him but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I’d wake up my mom in the middle of the night and cry to her because I felt like my heart had been ripped out. My world was shattered!!!

Then of course I hit the stage of depression, then anger, then bitterness. I got so angry and bitter, that I gathered everything he gave me… letters, notes, gifts… and put everything in a box. I carried it around with me to school, and I was debating with myself whether to give it back or not. Well, eventually I did not. I did what Howard told me. But I did it badly. Coz of the fact that I couldn’t resist calling him and still talked to him for more than a couple of times. Plus another fact that his family wouldn’t want to let me go! I love them so much! But it was not exactly the smartest nor the most proper thing to do. But sometimes when our emotions get the best out of us, even the smartest people make stupid mistakes. It was really difficult for me. I just wanted to forget it all happened. When people would ask me what had happened, I’d just say I don't want to talk about it. I cut off all ties with him and he did the same with me. I went out with my friends, and just had fun. Of course there were still moments when I’d think about him and then I’d miss him.

I don’t remember the exact moment I realized I was over him but I’ve realized them all by going to our fave place. There! It just happened. I finally got my sanity back and realized I have a future to prepare on. That he's no longer part of it and someone will come someday. Now, after almost a month, he and I talk occasionally, the things of the past forgiven. There's still that part of me that will always care. I believe the past is there for me to learn from. I also believe that I am meant for someone. I know he’s out there somewhere, and I trust God that He will bring us together. I’ve tried doing things on my own and I usually just mess‘em up. I’ve had my heart broken into pieces so small you could fit the pieces through the eye of a needle. That’s why I decided to trust in God instead of doing everything MY way. And besides, why mope around and be depressed when there is so much in this world to experience? We all have friends who’ll stick by us until the very end, friends who stick by us through the good and the bad. And we have a Friend up there Who wants to take care of us, and all we have to do is let Him.

Now, I’m abso-bloody-lutely over you.

2005-08-13 10:20:28 2005-08-13 14:20:28 open Publish post 326008364 Best Bag Ever xaxcxexlx Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:19:05 -05:00

2005-08-10 09:06:05 2005-08-10 13:06:05 open Publish post 323812573 Hey whats up 1 2005-08-10 12:34:00 2005-08-10 16:34:00 Spring_Branch_kings [email protected] http://spring-branch-kings.xanga.com/ 0 18332827 0 618182861 hey gorgeous <3thankss for subscriibiing _ hott song * lovess iit <3comment back * keep iin touch <3_ love you biitch <3*xOx MiiCH SUMMER x3 1 2005-08-11 19:21:00 2005-08-11 23:21:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 621212243

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