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megistusdiary · 2 years

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I can’t believe no one’s suggested this yet but TIGHNARI + mushrooms that he found/tested for safety (he IS a forest ranger and botanist after all) that are not only not poisonous but works wonders as aphrodisiacs. Just imagine him testing one out (or letting his s/o try it with consent) before they go at it; pleasure ensues! X3

ooh this is the one turn it up. this is such an amazing concept >:)

kinda turned a bit long. so much dialogue because of a random plot i thought of while trying to do chem hw lol 💀💀

warnings: dom!tighnari and sub!fem anatomy/pronouns reader

69ing (lol), aphrodisiacs, tighnari calls you a 'good girl,' praise, degradation, hair pulling (sub!receiving), dry humping, coming in pants, fingering (sub!receiving), messy

you observed tighnari carefully as he sat in the chair across from you, gingerly holding an ornate looking box.

"so...are you going to tell me what's in there?" you asked, pointing at said box as his lips quirked up slightly.

"it's a finding i have been eager to share with you for quite some time." tighnari explained, setting the box down on the table. "don't worry, i have done very thorough experimentation and research. there also happens to be the element of the 'word of mouth' about these."

you could contain your curiosity no longer, leaning forward as he opened the box. your parted lips sealed shut when you saw what was inside.

there were two mushrooms, a light brown color, of the same, small shape. "mushrooms?" you asked, puzzled. you failed to see the glint in his eyes as you reached towards the box. "i don't really know if i'm following here."

"they're not just any mushrooms, my dear." tighnari picked one up between his fingers, holding it up to the slowly fading sunlight. "they're very popular with the locals seeking a boost in, well, libido, if you will."

your face felt hot as tighnari's expression remained stoic. "l-libido? you're telling me they're sex mushrooms?"

tighnari chuckled at your boldness, shrugging and setting the fungus down. "sure, if that's what you want to call it. they're completely harmless, i have tested them myself."

"really? when?"

"that's...not important." tighnari scratched the back of his neck, elaborating no further. "i will keep the description of effects a secret, but just know it is intensely intoxicating without being overwhelming."

you remained silent, picking up a mushroom for your own eyes to glaze over. you rotated it carefully between your fingers, leaning forward to smell it.

smells like...earth and dirt. as expected, you guessed.

"so how do we do this? just eat the whole thing?"

"well, some people prefer to cut pieces off, or even cook them in some type of food. i've seen others make drinks using herbs and-"

tighnari's eyes widened as he watched you pop the entire thing in your mouth, chewing and swallowing before he could stop you. he rushed towards you, pressing his palms to your cheeks.

"i wouldn't have recommended that large of a dose for the first time!"

"is it going to kill me?!" you panicked, grabbing at his wrists.

"no- no, of course not i just- nobody ever eats the whole thing...how are you feeling? is it hitting you yet? any fever? tingling?"

you sighed, leaning back and rubbing your temples. you watched tighnari lean back, brows furrowed as he picked up the remaining mushroom. "so-"

tighnari did exactly as you did, eating the entire thing as you gasped, quickly standing up and shaking him by his shoulders. "why would you do that?"

"if you did it, we might as well be even with dosage. i refuse to be out-lasted." tighnari flirted so casually sometimes, it knocked the wind out of you.

you stammered, feeling too flustered to reply quickly as you sat back down, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. "how long until we feel it?"

"you'll know." he assured you. there were sounds of fabric rustling as tighnari sat across from you.

it came over you slowly, beginning as a little flame in your belly. easily something to ignore.

it traveled up into your chest, spreading downwards as well until it had your thighs pressing together ever so slightly.

you could feel your heart thumping louder, feel your pulse quicken, your limbs feeling light and tingly in a very...pleasurable way.

your eyes opened, seeing tighnari in a similar state, ears pressed against his head, one hand gripping his knee, the other over his heart.

you stood up so fast, you felt the blood rush to your head, stumbling onto tighnari's lap. you were coherent enough to be aware of your actions, and by the archons did you want tighnari.

he welcomed you in, pulling you against him and smashing your lips together. your eyelids fluttered shut as he held your head against his, licking the seam of your lips as you whined, grinding your hips down on his thigh.

he suddenly tangled his hand into your hair, pulling you away as you mewled, back arching. "be patient, don't be such a desperate little thing. behave."

"tighnari, please, it's so warm. you were right, i think- i think that dosage was crazy powerful. i feel it everywhere." you rambled, holding your head steady as he cooed, petting your hair.

"oh i know, i know. next time don't be in such a rush, hm? now we're in this predicament. ah, what a mess." tighnari chuckled, feeling you trembling on his lap.

"i'm sorry, i'll be more patient next time, i promise, nari. but, please, just...do something!" you begged, feeling his hands slide down to your waist, grinding you against him at a leisurely pace as you gasped, head falling back. "fuck-" you sighed, gripping his shoulders and moving your hips to match his rhythm.

"good girl, such a good girl for me." tighnari mumbled, pressing kisses to your neck. you moved your head further, bearing the skin in a display of submission the fox man seemed to be very pleased by.

he could feel you shake in his hold, clearly turned on by such little stimulation due to the mushroom in your system. he felt the same, barely hanging on by a thread as his dick twitched in its confines.

you moaned when you felt it, pushing your hips down onto his lap, moving them in circles frantically. "close..." you bit your lip, feeling him push and pull faster and faster until you arched your back, barely managing to muffle your moan as you came in his lap. he held you steady, grinding up into you through your first orgasm of the night.

he heard curses spilling from your lips along with 'thank you's and garbles of his name. he pet your hair once more, letting you rest against his chest as you recovered. "that was...embarrassing." you whined, still feeling the heat. "i don't- i mean i never..."

"it's the mushroom, my dear. no need to be embarrassed. in fact, i found that little display rather endearing."

his melodic voice hit you hard, feeling both the heat of shame and from your core as you moved to shed your clothes, peeling your shirts and pants off until you sat on his lap in your undergarments. you pawed at his pants, feeling him twitch under your grasp.

"can i touch you? please?" your eyes gazed up at him so beautifully, he just couldn't say no, opting to remove his pants enough for his cock to spring out.

your eyes shimmered with delight as you reached out, placing a soft kiss to the tip that had his hips bucking. "archons," he held the back of his hand against his lips, watching you seat yourself between his thighs.

you kitty-licked the tip, tasting the salty pre-cum on your tongue gingerly. he watched you carefully, gathering your hair into a ponytail as you kissed down the sides, licking up the veins running along his cock.

"you look so pretty like this..." tighnari sighed. though he couldn't help but feel selfish as he watched you rub your thighs together. "as much as i love it, there's something else i'd like even more, my dear." you stared up quizzically, letting out a squeak as he pulled you up onto his chest.

he spun your body around, making you face his dick and pushing your back down, presenting your clothed pussy to him as you gasped. he pressed his nose against you, inhaling softly as you shivered. "you smell so good..."

"don't say that!" you gasped, feeling him slowly peel your panties off. "it's embarrassing-"

tighnari moved his thumbs to spread your folds, eyeing your hole as he bucked his hips up. "come on, pretty girl, get back to work."

you leaned down, suckling the tip and slowly taking more of him into your mouth, desperately trying to move your hair out of your eyes.

you almost collapsed, however, when he licked a stripe up your pussy, swirling the tip across your clit.

you moaned around tighnari's dick, feeling it twitch against your tongue as tighnari groaned deeply. "oh-"

you pushed yourself further, taking him deeper as he continued to lick up and down your slit, playing with your clit. he moaned into your pussy as he felt your tongue lave over him, causing you to shiver and whine, moving your hips back against his face. you could feel his tongue slowly pushing into your hole, teasing you just to feel you tremble, enjoying your body's way of begging for him.

you removed your mouth from his dick, opting to lick at his heavy balls and the knot at the base of his shaft, pressing wet kisses from your pre-cum covered lips.

tighnari doubled his efforts, circling your clit and coating one of his hands in slick, spreading it across his fingers before moving them around your hole. he collected the remains of your previous orgasm along with it, gently pushing a finger into you as you cried out at the sudden stretch. "tighnari!"

the second you took him back into your mouth, he was bucking his hips, taking the reins and fucking your throat while he pressed his fingers deep into you. the second they hit your sweet spot, your eyes rolled back into your head, throat constricting around him as he came without warning.

he softly sobbed, feeling quickly overstimulated as his fingers jabbed into your g-spot, hurdling you into your second orgasm as you collapsed on him, cum spilling from your mouth onto his torso and the sheets.

you both panted in the otherwise silent room, twitching from your orgasms as you collected yourselves.

you could slowly feel the mushroom's effects wearing off as you sighed, turning towards tighnari. though you were stunned when you saw his cock slowly rising again.

"i probably should have mentioned it before but...this specific aphrodisiac tends to last quite a bit longer in foxes."

"but you said you needed to take it quick to outlast me-!"

"it was all part of the fun, my dear. now, won't you indulge me for just one more round?"

#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #tighnari x reader #tighnari #tighnari x you #tighnari smut #genshin tighnari #💌─𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭! ༊*·˚#✎─𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ❛ ༉‧₊˚

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 1 month

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TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition

Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.

on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.

I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!

I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!

Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!

SOUND:

I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)

I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.

Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird” things.

FORMAT (?)

OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)

TRACK LIST SPECULATION

Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause.

The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.

(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)

Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)

(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)

So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)

But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work. (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)

The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.

Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?

Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!

Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.

(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)

(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?

(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬

loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.

The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)

Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,” (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.

BONUS TRACKS

The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going.

The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all.

The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.

The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.

Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!

#the tortured poets department #Happy Good Friday this post has risen from the dead #(oops was that uncouth of me)#three weeks!!!!!!#i need this album now #my brain is on fire #Writing letters addressed to the fire

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mewguca · 1 year

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nsh and hunter doodles i made to comfort myself

and this very messy page kinda explaining some of my brainworms i have about nsh and hunter

also these old doodles i never posted (the projection is a little more obvious here LMAO i was kinda tired of having to get IVs)

im rlly tired so im just gonna paste my ramblings from a dm

i stole the floor power idea from my friend cowboi's oc

"i also think nsh having an experimental lab is cool

i kinda think it's neat to think of it like

nsh and srs are buddies bc they both have in interest in bio engineering and genetic manipulation

and at first they both tend to view these creatures as beneath them

so nsh probably did some messed up stuff idk lol

they gave hunter rot because they were trying to test if they could cure it somehow

except...they meant to do that *AFTER* they delivered the pearl to moon....IN A CONTROLLED SETTING............yeah guess who messed up on that one

nsh feels incredibly guilty and especially after srs grows closer with spearmaster they get desperate to help hunter once they confirm the pearl and neuron are delivered

they send some scavs out to retrieve hunter and bring them back before things get too bad

and then nsh finds some way to sort of remove the rot but it has done lasting damage to hunter that nsh feels responsible for taking care of...they feel really guilty

but...hunter is grateful someone would care so much about them"

#rain world #egg doodles #no significant harassment #hunter #rw hunter #nsh #eggmoon's rain world #rambled eggs

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gothicwill · 8 months

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Please make a post abt the marketing/promo of hannibal im geniuenly curious

Gladly. I will take any chance to bitch about this lol

ok so um. The Hannibal promo sucks. This is a well known and joked about a lot on here. The big reason that it’s bad is because the NBC execs wanted an American actor (they proposed Hugh grant) to play Hannibal, but Bryan fuller pushed hard for mads.

He finally succeeded in casting him, but at that point the network had lost faith in the show and didn’t expect it to do well anyway.

The lack of interference and expectation from nbc DID allow fuller to make the show much more campy and experimental though, so it’s not all horrible :)

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Promo is there to attract audiences to a show. It’s meant to vaguely capture its aesthetic, themes and give an idea of the plot.

So here what we got:

Nice grey void. I guess there’s animosity?? I couldn’t tell you anything about these two.

This one kinda captures the gothic-ness with the color scheme, but that’s it. They could’ve used body parts on that table or something. Someone on tiktok said that this would’ve worked better if it was set up like the last supper painting and I couldn’t agree more!

This is as good as it gets. The colors are nice. The eyes not being visible is mysterious. The handkerchief is a nice touch to people who know about Hannibal lecter from the movies and such. But the heart of this show is the relationship between Hannibal and will, and that’s never shown.

I’ve already mentioned in a previous post how much the logo sucks so I won’t get into it again lol.

Let’s contrast this with a show that I think has excellent promo: good omens

I can tell you at a glance what this show could maybe be about. The logo is in a fun and flamboyant font, which reflects the tone of the show (Plus angel and devil motifs!!). The opposing colors tell me that the angel and devil have different personalities. One is holding tea and the other wine. They live on earth. It’s perfect.

Sorry for the long ass post, I’m just very passionate about this 🫡. I only covered the season 1 promo because I think it’s the worst, but it’s similar with seasons 2 and 3.

#my favorite show deserved sm better #rant post #hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #nbc hannigram #alana bloom #murder husbands #good omens #ineffable husbands

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toffeebrew · 5 days

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Ink sans headcanons!

Disclaimer: I don't claim anything to be canon. Although, I tried to make sure it didn't conflict with canon for the most part. Erm, I also didn't check the tag before I made this, so of any these are canon/popular hcs i didn't know before making this.

Ink has something similar to a bag of holding tied to his belt. He picks up little trinkets in the aus he visits (something small, of course, like a flower!) It can hold an endless amount of objects. It also stands as as way of reminding him of where hes been and who he's met! he puts any gifts he gets there as well.

He has this weird ability that if you point at something he knows the exact hex code and color name it is. Why? Not even he knows, but it may be a creator giving him knowledge somehow thing.

For his paints? They all taste a little different. They taste like, something? But the exact flavor is so vague it's "hard for him to describe". If anything, they taste like a whole bunch of flavors at once. A little overwhelming to the palate. They all differ in sensation as well, fizzy, smooth, milky etc.

(more yapping under the cut)

Consistency wise, they both smell and have the thickness of acrylic paint. Specifically that kinda watery acrylic paint you can get for cheap at a store (like apple barrel).

Each of his vials has three dosages. One vial is like daily usage. But they can sometimes run out unevenly depending on how bad/good that day is (ex: on an extremely bad day, he has to take more of a positive emotions) so he had extra markings to "top off". Given there's no consistent time frame hes in, he just takes them whenever he wakes up. [ note: this particular headcanon was partially inspired by @/the-local-eldritch-microwave headcanon lol ↓]

He can actually last maybe about few days without his vials, but his emotions just become duller after 24-48 hrs. Taking a sharp decline after about 72 hrs. Their mobility and mental health declines with it as well, so he'd rather not wait for the decline to start! haha unless he got stuck in some situation where he had no choice!!! :D haha

He tried chugging all his vials at once for experimentation! He vomited everywhere. He'll not be attempting that again. Too much at once...

He has a reallllyyyy long scarf so he has enough room for all of his notes. It drags behind him and also dramatically blows behind him when there's a draft. It tracks stuff in it, due to its length. The bottom of his scarf is all colorful because of all the crap hes tracked in it! LOL

If he ever needed it, he'd add more fabric to the end for more notes. I guess eventually it would get cartoonishy long. At least, until it became completely impossible to manage.

On that topic, hes actually quite messy. Although, its more in a "organized chaos" sorta way. He knows where everything is, even if you don't. hes also MESSY not dirty very clear distinction!

In my mind the reason Ink would have a gap tooth in my version is when he was a "sketch" his teeth were more uh implied? So when he's born (how the hell would you word that? conceived? idk) he now has a permanent gap tooth.

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number9robotic · 3 months

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The Party of 5+1! My current DnD party!

I've been playing DnD with a dedicated group for almost 1.5 years now, and have wanted to do artwork of our party for this campaign for a while now. At long last, I finally was able to get the time to draw some characters from it!

I don't usually do this kinda stuff anymore, but I really enjoy character design and being creative/experimental with subject matter within my art style, and would like to do more! Only time will tell if I'll have the schedule for it, haha.

(try and guess which of these characters is mine, btw. spoilers: they're some form of idiot lol)

#my art #dnd #dungeons and dragons #rpg #character design #giff #zombie #sorcerer #barbarian #artificer #warlock #tiefling #direwolf #orc

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ultra-raging-ghost · 4 months

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What are your ideas on the differences between a human and a demon, I've seen many many many many differing interpretations and I wanna collect them all like Pokémon cards

I have a couple thoughts on this actually!!!!

So first off the big ones, physically there's a bunch of differences between humans and demons, and even between demons themselves!

To me, humans generally follow like IRL rules and shit like that, but theres additional things that kinda come with minecraft mechanics. Obviously theres respawn, but i personally attribute that to some kind of supernatural occurrences or very specific circumstances. In the case of the QSMP there's cannon vs non-cannon/in-universe deaths, but i also like to keep the Federation in mind - they obviously have some sort of hand in the life cycle on quesadilla island, with the eggs having two lives and whatnot, and being able to briefly bring them back to speak with their parents before being sent off to the afterlife. I personally think humans have IRL mechanics, but organizations like the Federation or even sometimes standalone experimental organizations can have a hand in trying to affect the human life cycle.

We have god-like beings, angels and ferrymen of death and whatnot, and i cant help but remember the Hunger Games lore where more than one life wasnt given which is cannon to the QSMP. I also like to consider the DSMP, which is semi-cannon, where they had multiple "cannon" lives (as opposed to the QSMP where they have one "cannon" life from what we've seen) and Ghosts and resurrections and all that, human life from what ive seen is not only fragile but flexible! Can be broken but also can be bent!

I got a little side tracked but point is: humans - one life (unless interfered with) Demons - not one life! (Bad follows a death/rebirth cycle/We dont know how mouse and tina operate/etc.)

Other physicalities I consider is humans are generally pretty realistically sturdy, they easily lose limbs but can wear prosthetics, and with the help of magic they can be immune to certain things (Still organizing my thoughts on Fit's recent lore - might think abt that more later).

Demons are not only sturdier (Bad/Mouse/tina/dapper/pomme/emmie having generally neutral reactions to radiation, obviously bad and dapper arent doing the best but theyre fairing MUCH better than a human would in their condition) but i like to imagine they can shape shift a little? we know the eggs generally like to hc bad as a shapeshifter that can get bigger/smaller, but he has consistent features he cant really get rid of as far as we've seen like his horns and tail. When i draw him, i generally vary his horn shape/length and change his body type and height a little in every drawing on purpose, but also i like extending this to the other demons! Mouse and Tina obviously look more human, but like cc!tina has talked about how she likes q!tina to have huge fucking knockers and i like to imagine they can change that themselves, it just makes sense to me! There are limitations to it, in my mind the horns are a consistent and identifying feature on them that they cant really change without a TON of practice. But the rules are bendy, ykwim? they can be more or less animalistic, swap physically gendered traits, shift from nails to claws, etc.

As far as cannon things go, we know demons generally have a better nose and all smell like sulfur, humans smell different to them, probably like BO or something lol

Thinking magic wise, humans obviously dont experience a ton of it, but magic is everywhere! In the air, on your skin, and thats to say i just think its funny to imagine that demons can be summoned by saying their name 5 times kjbhvjbn

Culturally, demons are definitely a lot different not only from humans but from one another and i think thats entirely based on their upbringing! I could write a lot about that, but the first thing off the top of my head is like their clothing i guess? We see from mouse and bad's clothing they tend to wear pretty gear-like clothing, i guess is how you could describe it? I like to imagine belts and buckles are something theyre used to wearing, maybe for aesthetic reasons, maybe for mechanical reasons! Maybe in hell you gotta carry a lotta small shit, or rock climbing is a popular activity, who knows!

Demon culture as well to me includes horn pride, ykwim? They care for and polish their horns, paint them for celebrations and decorate them with jewelry! Theres popular standard colors like black and white but choosing something more extravagant is common! Like matching your hair color if you have it dyed a fun color, staining it, painting it patterned for birthdays or holidays. Maybe its like homestuck purpleblood facepaint rules, where showing your bare horns is something you do with special people you trust a lot? Thats something very cute to me.

Also! Mentioned this in another post! i like the idea of Pool noodle jail!! Putting pool noodles on the horns of baby demons who cant stop headbutting eachother! thats adorable to me!!

#qsmp #q!badboyhalo #q!bbh #q!tina #q!ironmouse #q!mouse #demon trio

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the-one-who-lambs · 21 days

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AO3 Questions Tag Game!

I was tagged by @bamsara (on my main @onethirdofimpossible but most of my readers follow me here for cotl stuff so I'm posting it here)

I tag @i-eat-deodorant and @megsiepoo!

Under the readmore because this is long as shit

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

69 BAYBEEEE

2 – What’s your total AO3 word count?

213,360 words published

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

Previously: Pokemon (no longer online), Steven Universe, a few Deep-Sea Prisoner games (Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea, The Grey Garden, Ice Scream)

Currently: Cult of the Lamb

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Care and Keeping of Eldritch Gods. Until the rewrite of RL/FG is done, this is my magnum opus

Present My first ever CotL fic. This was the first time I'd written fic in like four years and I was dusting off my writing muscles...

Smitten soft narilamb....

Cat(nip) Boy wrote this for shits and giggles in my early fandom days. The One Who Waits on catnip

How Narinder Takes His Tea First part of the old RL/FG series. Though I'm remaking it as a longform multichap fic, I'm keeping up the old series because of the memories + I don't want other people who saved the old one to lose it.

5 – Do you respond to comments?

All the time! I was able to respond to literally every single comment back in 2022, but as last year went on, I realized I probably can't realistically do that anymore. It's a blessing and a curse.

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

We already knew how this would turn out. Title not given directly in my answer in case of spoilers. My readers saw it coming because I had built up to it, but I took my time writing the gradual reveal in the last chapter to make sure it landed the way I wanted it to.

And one more comment I won't post here bc (for anyone who wants to read it) spoils the ending but shoutout to the person who physically felt the shock lurch through their body when the realization hit them after the slow build-up.

As much as I love angsty stories with happy endings, what gets me more are stories that are happy at face value, with endings that are heartwrenching because of the underbelly of what lurked beneath that facade.

7 – What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God. Bit a spoilers below if you're avoiding that

The original wedding fic (as part of the original series) is up, but it's going to get a good polishing in the rewrite. Lambert and Narinder are going to have a private first dance, Thenana and Narinder are going to have a deeper conversation, Ratau's interactions with Lambert are gonna be shown rather than just told, Aym and Baal will be revived.

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

Mostly no. There was one time last year that I was compared to another writer in the fandom and slowly asks evolved into "your own concepts are being done better by others" and shit, and the other writer got hate messages as well, and... well, it was a whole thing. Don't wanna talk too in detail about it because I don't wanna beat a dead horse but cotl writers have unionized so we got the last laugh I guess

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lol ya it's on remainderofreality. What "kind?" uh. experimental because I'd never tried the genre before this fandom and it kinda shows but that's okay.

10 – Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Honestly, I'm not really into crossovers! Unless it's Webber in cotl. He can stay, he's cute.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah. It was actually the first fic I posted online, ever. In middle school, I wrote a whole ~100k-ish word self-insert pokemon fanfic, which I wrote by hand in like five composition notebooks, so I never posted that online. But after that I decided to post shorter one-shots for pokemon online, and a few months later I found one of mine reposted without credit. Plagiarized entirely, basically. It scared me and I deleted everything I had posted online, and I don't have extra copies of the works now. :(

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd be okay with it if I was asked beforehand and proper credit was given!

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yeah! Of Duty and Devotion is basically a glorified roleplay between me as Aym, @i-eat-deodorant as Baal, @checkplzjuliet as The Lamb, and @surfdudeboy as Narinder. I also wrote Hide and Seek, a cute little Bishop family one-shot, with @lordiedams (hi Damien I miss you).

14 – What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Narilamb. I haven't focused on a ship for this long, except maybe Rupphire back in the day, but I'm fixated so much more on CotL than I was for SU.

15 – What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Honestly, Of Duty and Devotion lmao. I'm much more focused on my own projects and so are Pavi, Surf, and Juliet. I do want to finish it though.

16 – What are your writing strengths?

Pacing, diction, syntax, getting the intended point across and doing it well. Once I commit to doing something, I don't usually let myself "give up" on it, hence why I barely have any unfinished WIPs. That's a skill honed with tons of practice, though. I have massive ADHD, and I'm bad at finishing things, but when it comes to writing by god I'm gonna do it.

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

I often struggle to get to a point where I'm totally focused in on what I'm writing. It does happen once or twice a month, but honestly, I'm usually so busy with life stuff that I don't get to do that most of the time! I wish I had more time to make room for my hobbies, but alas. At least summer is coming up, and I'll be able to do that more often, hopefully!

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's possible to do it naturally for sure, but I rarely see it done well in fic. I've never attempted it...... or, wait, have I? I guess Thenana's sign language counts, huh? ...I feel like I need to do more research about this topic to answer the question properly.

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon <3

20 – Favorite fic you’ve written?

The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God or The Care and Keeping of Eldritch Gods.

Risen/Fallen (and the enemies-to-lovers narilamb dynamic) was like the first thing that I did to make a "mark" on this fandom, and I didn't expect it to inspire so many people for sure! But, the first iteration of the series was so rushed. I wrote the whole thing in just over three weeks and averaged one chapter published every day and a half. Now that I have a better grasp on the characters after playing with them for a long while, I get to see my improvement, and I get to see so many friends I've made along the way sticking with me, the revamped "director's cut" version is definitely on track to be my favorite work.

However. It has yet to surpass Care and Keeping. As the oldest of four kids in my family, I based so much of Shamura on my experiences as an eldest sibling, and many of the experiences the younger bishops had in their formative years on our own childhoods. I based Narinder's childhood off of brother #1's (brother who is two years younger than me), Kallamar's childhood on my own, Heket's childhood on my sister's (five years younger than me), and Leshy's off of my youngest brother's (ten years younger than me). This story wasn't just an exploration of the Bishops and their dynamic/relationship pre-canon, it's also a testament to my own love as an eldest sibling... and all the anxiety associated with that, too.

Thanks for tagging me! Back to working on my presentation...

#hannah's rambles #hannah writes

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erigold13261 · 7 months

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Any opinions on she/her, it/its user Eve?

Your ask immediately made me think of this shirt for some reason. I have no idea if I made it up or saw it at some point, but I can see Eve relaxing in it lol.

Anyway! My opinions! (there is a lot more than I thought lol)

I personally like Eve using just she/her pronouns (and for now I will use she/her until I get to the it/its pronouns) but she has a very complicated relationship with her gender (which also encapsulates her sexuality).

Like I even want to start drawing her with top surgery scars thinking she either got a breast reduction or fully got rid of her breasts. Maybe she took some testosterone at some point but also leaned very far into the feminine aesthetic.

Sometimes wears butch or masc clothing, or makes her hair very short. Her entire display is just supposed to be experimental and all over the gender spectrum but also leaning a lot into the feminine even when playing around in the masc area.

And because she plays with her gender and expression in this way, she also always wants to exclusively use she/her. Those are what works but can also confused others when she is going into a more masc appearance. Even when she got her top surgery she had to be adamant to the people around her to keep using only she/her, not he/him or they/them which some people tried doing.

That is what I personally prefer for Eve.

However! I guess it/its pronouns could make Eve feel differently! (and now I will start using she/it for Eve).

All of what I said above would probably still be true, except that over time Eve might lean more into using it/its pronouns. It would be like reclaiming a part of itself that it never knew it lost.

I'm sure there were some people in Eve's life that made it feel less than human, even her own thoughts probably did that. Made her feel like an object (which is why it will sometimes present as a literal object like the chair) and so over time it just... ran with the idea of being an object but one with life.

At least that is what Eve would eventually come to think of herself. After the revolution, getting closure from Zuke, growing more into itself, all of that would need to happen before it would be able to see itself as an object with life instead of an object with purpose.

Let me try to explain what I mean by that.

Eve would see itself as a combination of a woman and natural phenomenon or object that needs a use to be important. Disguising herself as a chair, or comparing herself to tectonic plates, both of those instances were Eve is trying to reclaim what it means to be an object, but they were objects with purposes, easily forgotten about until they are needed or make some kind of dramatic act.

"A chair without a sitter is left with no purpose to exist." Without the direct purpose of a sitter (or another person) then a chair has no reason to exist (Eve has no reason to exist). This mindset shows Eve's co-dependency, but also shows how it sees itself. How it is an object, but it's usefulness and reason to live is defined by what others need of it or of how others see it.

Eve realizes she is a tool, that the only way that it has a reason to live is if it is helping others, or fulfilling other people's needs. She is not fulfilling her own needs, her own idea of who she is. No, instead Eve is acting as an object for others to use, which is why it started going by it/its pronouns.

"Remember when I was the tectonic plates and you were the sea?" This line is another reason why Eve would have started using it/its pronouns. In this aspect, it is still an object, but one that most people forget about until it does something dramatic like causing a tsunami with the sea or earthquakes on land.

Unless you are actively looking at tectonic plates, learning about them, then you really wouldn't care about them until they affect your life. That is how Eve feels. Unseen and forgotten about until it is seen as important.

Being a megastar is kinda like being a constant earthquake, where people can see her all the time and have her on their minds, but over time they get used to this life and what Eve is offering which makes Eve chase a new dramatic flare, a new music style, a new purpose in life to be seen by anyone around her.

When it can find a researcher who cares deeply about the beauty and importance of tectonic plates and is willing to learn more about them to understand them (so someone like Zuke who took time to learn more about Eve and understand it), then she feels seen and loved. Loved as the object that it perceives itself as, that it thinks everyone had forgotten about except for one person. It can start loving itself because of that one person who loves it (and when that person goes away, that love goes away too).

However, ones the revolution takes place and Eve gets closure from Zuke and starts to work on itself, I can see it questioning why it started using it/its pronouns in the first place. Even if it was always just personal use that only a select few people knew about (Zuke and Tatiana definitely knew) and not public knowledge, Eve would still start to question why she started using those pronouns and wonders what it is about that specific set that called out to her.

I can see Eve figuring out all this from above, or at least the general gist of it through therapy and self reflection. Maybe this would make it upset that it was using these pronouns in this way. Feeling cheap or fake for using them (even if it was only known by like 2 other people). There would always be this questioning that Eve has if she truly wants to go by she/it pronouns, and if its reasoning is good enough justification to continue to use them.

Honestly, I love the idea that Eve always kept this mainly to herself. This questioning aspect. I'm sure Zuke and Tatiana would have still used she/it for Eve only when talking with Eve (never outing her since she never said she was okay with that). Mayday and Haym definitely do not know about this. I can see Purl maybe figuring something out about this, or knowing of the it/its pronouns from one of their late nights together, but they never used those for Eve as she never explicitly asked for that to happen.

All that comes to a head when Rin starts going by it/its pronouns. Rin's whole reasoning for going exclusively by it/its at first was to piss off haters and to have fun with its gender. There was never a big deal about it, and soon those pronouns just truly grew onto Rin and stuck.

This was something entirely different to how Eve saw itself using those pronouns. But it also didn't like that justification really at all. Just doing something to piss people off felt too similar to what she was doing before, having pronouns based on how people would or have reacted to a part of the person.

Eve wanted something more internal. Not related to other people, something she could see in herself with these pronouns.

And honestly, if you want to keep this related to the NSpidR AU (or even my Eriverse in general), Hobie and Lizze Natividad would be the perfect people to have Eve realize it is an object with life and not an object with purpose kind of it/its user.

Hobie is in the same boat as Rin, using they/it pronouns to piss people off but to also break free from gender constructs and confinement. It is about being rebellious and messing with people, but also having freedom and power over your own identity.

Similar to Eve, Hobie's gender performance is like literally a performance. Although Hobie performs for themself while Eve performs for other people. That is a thing that Eve will have to learn to change over time.

Lizzie at this point in life is probably still a Psychonaut, same with Raz, and since Eve knew Raz and they reconnected together after the revolution, I can see Eve getting to know Lizzie a bit.

Lizzie going by It/They pronouns with he/him sprinkled in (very rarely she/her) is something that Eve would take interest in. Especially for the reasoning as to why Lizzie would add it/its to they/he/she pronouns.

That is when I can see Lizzie using an example I love, where it tells Eve that using "it" isn't always derogatory and has a lot of built in love and admiration into the pronoun. It's just hard to see if you aren't looking for it.

When someone talks about the sunset or moon saying 'It's beautiful" or that people will talk about a stuffed animal or childhood home they loved and use "it" as a default shows that even though those things are being described by it/its pronouns, the love is still there.

Those things are more than just objects, they are moments of love, cherished memories. Not all of them are that. Sometimes they are just a part of time that happened, but it helped shaped who you are even if you don't realize it. They have no real purpose but to make life full of... well, life.

Lizzie would tell Eve about how the smalls things can seem big, and the big things seem small. They shift and change, sometimes they don't have any purpose to life, but you can just make up a purpose for them to be important. It doesn't matter, as long as it is something that makes you happy, confident, safe, anything positive really.

All of this, seeing so many different reasons as to why some people would use it/its pronouns or a combination set, would allow Eve to figure out her own reason for using them.

I'm not sure exactly what its reasons would be. Probably reclaiming its own identity again but this time in a positive way that is built on introspection and not built on other people's potential view of it.

There is definitely something a lot more complex going on underneath everything. Stuff that Eve might never be able to truly get into words, so it would be hard for me to put it into words (which is how I get when I have to explain my own use of it/its pronouns sometimes), but no matter what, Eve is using these pronouns because they make it happy and more comfortable with itself.

I can even see Eve coming out to the public as using she/it pronouns. Maybe it would be another performance, but a performance that Eve would want to see herself, and not one made specifically for other people. This performance wouldn't be trying to get people onto its level, or trying to get down to people's level, it's not one to make them understand, but one for people to see it as it is.

Otherwise, I see Eve at least letting its friends, family, and loved ones using she/it for her like how Zuke and Tatiana were using them. It would at least no longer be a hidden aspect of her personality when it comes to the people it cares about, and once it sees the acceptance it got (especially from Mayday and Haym), it would feel even more comfortable and confident in its choice to come out fully.

Because I'll be honest, it's one thing to dress in a way different from your gender than it is to be referred to as different from your gender. At least for me it is. I primarily present femininely, but I like trying to go by any pronouns, especially they/it pronouns.

I can see Eve being the opposite, where she does not feel any dysphoria or apprehension when it comes to its visual expression, but there is always a slightly weird feeling when verbally being called something you don't think you truly are. Even if you do think you are truly they/them, it/its, she/her, anything, hearing it is different from seeing it, which is different from visually showing it, to just acting in a different manner.

All of this is complex stuff that Eve has definitely had to go through. Some things easier than others (like her visual self), and it still has lots to work on, but at least it is on the right track for progress.

Anyway, thanks for making me think of this! I love that I was blatantly for she/her exclusive Eve at first, but now I think I changed my own mind lol. I might start referring to Eve with she/it pronouns. Love it when I can make propaganda for my own mind hehe (it always happens too! Because I try to make someone else's view of a character valid, even if it isn't my own cup of tea, and then I just love what I came up with and just start using it too lol :3)

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