#this was the line the made me crack

[uniquezombiedestiny]

"your other fragments went off to see a new galaxy. i bet they've turned into a big, beautiful comet by now."

"you think so?"

different text placement + no text versions :)

#im so so sad. i love hnk so much oh my god #107 and 108 made me so so so miserable #houseki no kuni #hnk spoilers #hnk #hnk phos #phosphophyllite #some details: the comet has a sorta spiral shape. you can see a lot of the lines in and around it arc to the right #the cracks as they dissipate are drawn to the comet #theres a blue glow towards the end of the meteor and the cracks #gem phos has more blue than. ig final phos #and the cracks get more little spots as they travel upward closer to the comet #art

[oh-allie]

shakespeare and swooning

alhaitham x g/n reader

synopsis; you read one shakespeare play and now you want to impress your "buddy" alhaitham with your newfound knowledge !! what could go wrong?

fluff, g/n reader, TOTAL CRACKFIC, OOC alhaitham, SWEARING, kind of a modern au ???? i mention "ringing tighnari" but that could just be imagined as using the akasha terminal !!!! didnt write this with a modern au in mind

warning ‼️ PLEASE dont expect this to be accurate, if youre a big classic literature fan then dont attack me for not being a NERD ☹️ just imagine a poser using their fancy words (because they think its cool)

you know how libraries are supposed to be a place of study and tranquility? no the fuck you don't, or at least you don't care, because running through the house of daena with shakespeares, "romeo and juliet," in your hands is NOT very tranquil.

multiple poor akademiya students look at you, PISSED OFF because your shoes are going clu-clonk on the marble floors, which wouldn't be an issue if you weren't scurrying through the library.

is that kaveh ?? he's giving you the same look he gives alhaitham every day ..

... but this is IMPORTANT !! you're on a MISSION right now !! you just finished reading the first act of "romeo and juliet," and you're convinced your brain has expanded tenfold in size.

you're now rushing to your good pal haitham to share your knowledge! how kind and gracious!

you're stopped before his house, you've known him for long enough and gotten close enough for him to let you come in whenever. you know kaveh isn't home, and haitham would never purposefully work overtime, so you're certain you can get his attention and show off in peace.

why are you so adamant about showing off to alhaitham? is it REALLY showing off, or are you trying to, heehee, impress him?? its too late to be flustered at this thought because you already unlocked the door with the spare key kaveh leaves behind one of haithams ugly ass decorative plants and you've taken off your shoes and oh god hes right there and the sunlight from the door is lighting up his face in that way that only happens to him and hes looking at you with a suprised, slightly annoyed, but incredibly fond look and oh no what was your plan again?

"greetings, alhaitham! ☝️🤓" you say, finding a surge of confidence remembering the story you read.

"... hey. what are you doing here?" his response is quick but before you respond he continues, "did you just say greetings?"

"indubidibdibdly! hath you be surprised?" you pretentious hipster. you think youre SO cool, but unfortunately your little crush doesn't seem very impressed either.

"okay, what are you doing? you're being weird." he's not even looking at you, and he's back in his chair before you can rush over and sit on the couch. "is something wrong? should i get tighnari to give you a checkup?"

you'd be touched by the care of the suggestion if he wasn't so cheeky in his tone.

"wha, what, no?! no what the hell- stop ringing tighnari."

"are thou o'er wrought with admiration?" you grin, somehow still under the impression that you sound cool.

he gives an eyebrow raise to that. not bothering to mark his place in his book, he stands up.

"i lie testy in why you act so unpregnant, my dear."

"what"

HUH ? what did bro just say ? testy ???? unpregnant ?? MY DEAR ??? backtrack again, UN-WHAT ??

"be still my beating heart, thou hast taken mine with absolute cunning." is he making fun of you i genuinely can't tell ... its like hes speaking in moon runes right now.

"haitham, heheh, WHAT are you DOING ??" you can't help but laugh at his funny little words, magic man. even if you're clueless to what he just said to you.

"whatever doth thou mean?" he's totally making fun of you !! after ALL your effort to impress him too?

"well, usually i do all the ranting and you sit pretty and listen, so it's weird that you're talking so much, especially like THAT?" fym sit pretty ....

"when words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." that sounds familiar, but you can't think about it longer before he continues, "shall i compare thee to a summers day?"

"ALRIGHT, i recognize that one, dummy." you laugh, "were you really not impressed by me?" you whisper, the rush of embarrassment you shouldve felt in that library is finally catching up with you.

he stares at you for a second. you just wish you could find out what hes thinking up there, if you could even understand it.

and then he lets you into his mind, with a simple "i love you." as if alhaitham, renowned scribe of the akademiya, top student, couldn't find the words to describe how he felt for you.

or maybe that was what he felt for you. he loved you.

"... you called me unpregnant."

a/n; i read romeo and juliet like... 3 years ago.... so.. uam... 😇😇 totally accurate! hope this crackfic style of writing isnt too niche so this doesnt flop because EMBARRASSING....... do people even like al haitham anymore like guys lets go back to the good old days before the FRENCH came in..... (this is just me projecting cause i havent played genshin in a while and i still lovelove sumeru)

#al haitam x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #DONT LET THIS FLOP GANG IM PUTTING A LOT ON THE LINE POSTING GENSHIN FICS #shakespeare made up the word unpregnant #GUYS PLZPLZOLZ LIKE AND REBLOG SO I CAN SAY it popped off!! #WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHY I POSTED A GENSHIN FIC.... #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #al haitham #al haitham x you #alhaitham x you #alhaitham x y/n #al haitham x y/n #alhaitham x gender neutral reader #al haitham x gender neutral reader #was listening 2 when will my life begin when writing 😇 #alhiayham is my fancast for rapunzel !!!! #i started writing this in november of 2023 😇 #allies fics #crackfic #crack fic #wait guys hear me out #crackship layla x alhaitham #IS LAYLA A MINOR WAIT #if she isnt then WOOOOWWWW CUTIE..!!!!

[lacomandante]

Sharpe’s Rifles (1993)

Bonus:

#;my stuff #sharpe's rifles #;sharpe's rifles #sharpe #richard sharpe #chosen men #isiah tongue #patrick harper #sean bean #;chosen men #(im sorry but this scene ALWAYS makes me crack up i love sean's expression SO MUCH) #(tongue you may not have many lines but this scene is iconic. thank you for your service) #(yea. i say yea. yea. - deuteronomy 420) #(also its been a while since ive made a gifset.......i have a lot sitting in my drafts) #(new year new gifset!!!!!) #(i love that last gif so much. sam and i use it all the time)

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #actually this makes me sick because wow yosuke wow just #“i notice you never pry” i love how in this line alone yosuke reveals just how much he pays attention to yu #i think theres a case to be made about how this attentiveness is not exclusive to yu but here. im obsessed. #yosuke isn't just paying attention to yu in a superficial way - he's also watching how yu interacts with other people #and what his reactions are like - hes paying attention to how yu pays attention to others #and then he goes on to describe it as mature #and idk i think it's one of the early indicators of how yosuke watches yu - which i think also stems from a place of admiration? respect? #thinking a lot about how yosuke compares himself to his peers but yu especially and this just kind of really fucking gets me #but also!! again!! as usual!! he starts being too honest and revealing of his thoughts and he immediately pulls back #cracking a joke to walk over his previous vulnerability!! #/sighs wistfully #he's good with his queue

[phtalogreenpoison]

GUYS GUYS I JUST HAD A THOUGHT

..fyodor parenting aya.

that's it. that's the thought.

#ok i know this was evil of me but hey #HER BECOMING A PARALLEL TO KYOUKA LIKE STARTING WITH BRAM IN THE LIGHT AND BEING PUSHED FURTHER AND FURTHER TO THE DARK #or even bsd q #also also like fyodor being like ugh i guess i have to parent my bitter ex/passionate lover's child. oh whatever i shall do >:) #see my fyobram post for reference #UM BUT LIKE #this could either be really angsty or complete crack #or both honestly #him manipulating herrrrrrrr ough no i made myself saddd #kunikida lining up with custody papers be like #and bram is watching as like a spirit or as the consumed like “babe please this isn't you” #and what if i said this was the gateway to kunikida and fyodor making out sloppy style. what then. #bram watches in horror #bsd #bsd 114.5 #bsd spoilers #bram bsd #bsd aya #bungou stray dogs #bsd fyodor #bsd kunikida #fyobram #bsd bram

[ginjithewanderer]

A3! Home Screen Lines - Kazunari's Birthday 2023

#oh so many of these made me sob. sob! #sakuya. masumi. muku. the list goes on #masumi's is the sweetest ever actually i love this so much #chikage's is so :) and muku's made me tear up #and misumi!! so cool!! #please please please listen to banri's and juza's and tasuku's in-game if you can... they're both so good #banri is so cute lol #also sakyo being the reason kazu is drunk as of tsuzuru's line is cracking me up so much #sakyo!!!!!!! #please consider tsumu and homare. they gave me so much trouble #and hisoka's makes me sob #guy says: support your artist friends #a3! #kazunari miyoshi #a3! home screen lines #a3! translation #an's translation

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

#sorry for cutting the rest of the post but the first line + based on your likes! made me crack up #dean winchester #spn #supernatural #molly mumbles #lmfao

[hojlundaise]

bvb the builder

#borussia dortmund #call them to fix your house only if you are desperate #they would make it worse but at least you get a giggle out of it #i looked up the german dub of the song and instead of the first line going boooob the builder its baaaauarbeiter and it cracked me up #bob der meister indeed #bvb die meister eh how about that #+ #this is the stupidest gif set ive made

[a-s-levynn]

"Even if the sky cracks in mourning / And the heavens just won't open up for me" A Series of Small Offerings - II/12 - day20

#a series of small offerings #sleep token fanart #elaboration on this piece further down in the tags because this one may confuse people i think #(also please note that i firmly believe that the from the room below version of this song is the superior one) #(so the art was made with that version in mind because that is the version that lives rent free in my brain for reasons) #i've been thinking so much how to approach this one.. i knew pretty much since i've made the challenge that i will go with this line #specifically because i refuse to hear it as the lyrics sites and spotify tells me to hear it (as it appears in the post) but instead #i don't hear the 'the' in any version of the song i'm sorry that is just not there #so i'm convinced it is 'as the sky cracks in mourning' #(sky cracking-lightning;sky mourning-rain) #which is also exactly how the song feels to me #being a sad wet cat of a person standing bare feet in a strom and just crying 'why i was i so blind to my own hubris' #specifically in relation of finally (and far too late) understanding you fucked up a relationship so bad it still hurts years after #if you've ever felt anything remotely similar you know what i'm talking about #and you get why i refuse it being 'in the morning' instead of 'in mourning' #vessel i #vessel #vessel sleep token #vessel fanart #sleep token band #sleeptoken #levynn tries to draw #sleep token #edit: i don't mean to offend those who stand behind the line being 'in the morning' btw i just don't hear it #and i don't think i'm correct. i'm correct for me. not in your stead. half the lyrics can be heard at least two ways #edit2: appearently i'm actually right about something for a change.. a truly unusual turn of events #see comments for referrence pls #also edited this post to the correct lyrics #but leaving the tags for context 'cause thw original version of the post has been rb-d before editing i think

[thecrownofflames]

Convo with the homies that went awry

#this was a few summers ago but it was literally so funny #i still think about it #i had gotten some new piercings #so in my brain it was obv #but i said something along the lines of #'i need some more/new studs' #and so then we all start talking about it #but after a couple minutes nothing anyone was saying made any sense #i had to stop everyone and say #'I'm talking about earrings what did YOU think i meant when i said studs?' #anyways all 4 of us were having a different conversation #deranged moment. still cracks me TF up #thecrownofflames

[fridayiminlovemp3]

new perspective isn’t a panic! at the disco song, brendon urie was a vessel for god in that recording studio. why he chose him i don’t know but it’s not my place to question it

#that song is like crack to me #i cant believe he wrote that like mister puts the line manifest destiny in a song made for elementary school dances didn’t do that #mari.txt #patd

[spider-man-2o99]

hehee.i unnersand it all now.

#talking tag #spider-man #atsv #across the spider-verse #atsv spoilers #? in tags. maybe. #well. most accurately just Speculation since its still not out yet lmao #sony always put the climax in the trailer. Every Single Time they do it lol #they spoil their own films like it’s their Job to. and they GET AWAY W/ IT... #but. ANYWAYS lol. #everything we're seeing so far w/ the gwiles romeo-juliet Thing PLUS that ''you don't know what you're doing'' line from mig? #dude im. like. pretty solidly sure migs plots gonna be that he thinks theyre gonna get either themselves or others killed acting selfishly #(’’selfishly’’ in quotes as his guilt complex is not my guilt complex thanku) #’cause with how much gwen’s (and /jeff’s!!!!/) mortality is Seemingly being brought 2 our attention right b4 the film drops... #it is not for No Reason. #maybe tjat reason is fenuinely jonest to fod just Stir Jype Fet Butts In Seats #sorry. *maybe that reason is genuinely honest-to-god just Stir Hype Get Butts In Seats Come Junetime. idk. idk. #but. oy. freakin.. gimme this. if the Cracks have been showingfor months just pretend they have not been. thanks. #ANYWAYS I KNOW HOW MIGUEL THINKS & IF THE MOVIE MADE BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE ZERO OBLIGATION 2 ME IS BAD I BLOW UP THE SUN. #<- person who is well-adjusted and can be trusted inside all movie theaters i prommy

[allthegothihopgirls]

claiming my title as a long-time cracking the cryptic stan because i am a gatekeeper, a sudoku enthusiast, and mildly neurodivergent

#simon anthony makes me cry on a weekly basis #yesterday it was him making taylor swift references that he didn't even understand in hopes someone would understand them and be happy #last week it was a correction he made in his colour palette so colourblind people could see the different groups properly #honourable mention when he spiced up his already tear-inducing chocolate cake line by saying “i'm proud of you. you deserve lots of cake” #i can't have a good day unless i spend 2 hours unwinding watching their videos whilst solving a completely different puzzle on the side #cracking the cryptic #sudoku

[elibean]

someone on my twitter tl rtd something that i think was tanaka-kun art...clicked on it, led me to the mangaka for that one. learned they have a new manga serializing and guess who is almost caught up on that

#text post #it's so cuuuuute #also it's made me laugh several times #i just came here after reading a line where protagkun is worried that his roomate is hiding smth from him #and just like #a panel of his face #'AN AFFAIR?????' #fucking cracked me up

[valyrfia]

new glass animals song so good it makes me want to name a rpf fic after it

#i'm not gonna do it girl i'm just thinking ab it #this is acc just a glass animals appreciation post in disguise #“scared of the crack where the light comes through i'm only really me when i'm here with you” is an insane line #“you held me like my mother made me just for you” ?! #oh glass animals you deserve the world #“lucky lucky you 'cause i'm fortune's fool” is a good title for a fic centered on charles though-*GUNSHOT*

[ominous-horse-noises]

jay is my ultimate bias and seungeon + jongwoo are in my top 9..... but the Zoom stage outsold every other this episode, including Love Killa. that performance was INSANE

#haruto keita wumuti miss even once challenge (impossible) #ollie was so charming too with his dorky rap dhjk i love him #hyunbeen sure was. there #no hate to him whatsoever he's a good performer surrounded by great performers. his 'oh geez' was pretty fun though #boys planet #i went insane over jay's you're my home baby line its true. something shifted #the way they wanted me to think that ONE slightly cracked note was the worst thing the world has ever heard... stfu mnet i'll kill you #seungeon you did amazingly sweetie #and JONGWOO!!! #i've had my eye on him since backdoor but he was incredible in this episode #so talented and so accommodating of his teammates. he shines most in dance but he made the choreo simpler to help his struggling teammates #so glad he's getting a surge in popularity now i cant believe we almost lost him to elims