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blkkizzat · 6 months

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ღ𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟!𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 ღ

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 𝐨𝐟 𝟐

18+ONLY MDNI

kizzatober series: Thrilling Ghouls

Kinktober Prompts: Breeding, Dacryphilia, Aphrodisiac Synopsis: Catching him in a lie, you suspect your boyfriend Toji is cheating on you. Where does he keep disappearing to once a month that keeps him away for often days at a time. You're fed up. You've made up your mind this time to follow him but are you ready for what you discover? CW: AU. Most warnings for P2 really. Slightly dubcon-y. Bully/mean/teasing Toji. Bratty/crazy gf reader. Rough sex. Drug ref. Werewolf transformation but this isn't that furry shit lol. Omegaverse themes I borrow heavily from but I'm not following the rules of it faithfully (I don't even know them myself lol) WC: 4k of 10.4k Lightly black fem coded but no descriptors.

A/N: This one took a bit longer expected as I recently caught a cold, boooo! But I'm realizing even in my fics I intend to be PWPs I still need to set the mood and a plot springs forth lmfao. Plus I had fun actually trying to write a bit of horror in too! I decided to split into 2 parts because of the delay already.

Big shout out to an irl bestie @sairotonin for drawing a sketch of Werewolf!Toji for her inktober for me to use in my gfx. TY sis you a real one!!

Enjoy!

“In the next 500ft, turn left.”

This was going to be the third goddamn left the car navigation told you to take in the last 20 minutes. You were ninety-nine percent sure you had been going in circles and were now lost as shit at night in the middle of nowhere.

You glance at your phone sitting in the dash-caddy.

One measly bar.

The further you traveled, the more the service bars were dwindling as well.

Shit, you had 3 full bars last time you looked.

Opting to keep ahead straight instead of turning, you cross-check your destination via the spy monitoring app you had shamelessly downloaded on your boyfriend Toji’s phone.

Toji’s current location was 45 miles outside of the city and it had been a good 10 miles since you last saw any kind of highway. The area you were in was a mix between nature reserve and private property so not even GPS could pin down the exact directions to his whereabouts.

Sigh.

You had never wanted to be That Girl™.

You know, the ones who would sneak peaks at their boyfriend’s phones, were super insecure about any interaction their man had with the opposite sex and ran down on them while they were out to catch them in the act of cheating.

But you were a woman at the end of her rope.

What else could you do?

For a few days every month Toji would simply disappear.

The various excuses he gave usually centered around his work. You didn’t know exactly what he did, but you knew enough to know most of it was dangerous and wasn’t what good society would consider legal.

Toji had scolded you before for asking too many details.

For your own safety.

He would say with an arrogant smirk.

But even when working you had always been able to get a hold of him after a few hours. It was just this one particular job he would completely drop off the face of the earth for. It annoyed you, sure, but Toij’s work never followed him home so you didn't have complaints.

That is, until you had finally moved-in with him and Megumi.

Truly, you were already like a little family.

Megumi, who had just recently started preschool, had been quick to warm up to you ever since you and Toji first introduced you to him a few months prior to that.

But living together pushed things to a whole other level. Megumi would follow you around like a lost pup and often opted to sit in your lap rather than Toji’s.

Not to mention throw a near fit if you weren’t the one to tuck him in goodnight. (Toji would never admit he was a bit jealous and would only grumble slightly that it was less of a hassle for him if you did it so you should just do it from now on).

You never even realized you had such a mothering instinct, being on the same page as Toji about no more kids, until you looked into those little emerald eyes of Gumi’s and absolutely melted.

You had grown so close that the little boy unknowingly let it slip once while Toji was MIA on that job, that he was glad Daddy went on his daddy breaks once a month so you both could have fun together by yourselves.

You tried to keep your reactions in check for Megumi but that revelation completely shook you.

A “daddy break” didn’t sound much like a work trip to you which spiked your anxiety and caused you to spiral into overthinking.

Did he need a break from you too as well?

You couldn't very well grill a 4-year old and you didn’t have the nerve to just ask Toji straight out.

So you did the only thing you could think of at the time and that was to complain to your good friend Tsukumo over drinks a few days later after Toji returned.

Tsukumo, who always seemed to have the wrong answer for everything, simply told you to do the ‘smart’ thing and download a monitoring app on his phone that would log is calls, texts and whereabouts.

You initially balked at her.

Tracking Toji had never crossed your mind.

Outside of this, Toji had never given you a reason to doubt him and you wanted to respect his privacy and trust, especially trust as you knew he didn’t let many people get close to him at all.

True, he wasn’t exactly the most forthcoming man you ever dated. You were well aware he had his many skeletons as well as ex-hookups. But Toji for the most part had been content with his gambling then coming home to you and Megumi.

He wasn’t the type to ‘run the streets with the boys (he had no boys tbh), you had only ever known him to have the occasional drink with Shiu when he wasn’t out gambling.

You had almost refused to do such a thing… That is until Tsukumo posed the question:

What’s more important Y/N– your peace of mind or his trust?

And Y/N, is trust really what’s important here at all if he is in fact already taking advantage of yours?

Touché.

Tsukumo had you there.

“Besides, you think that old dinosaur is even going to notice an extra app on his phone in the first place?”

Tsukumo quipped, throwing back a shot of sake and jiggling the empty container at the bartender for more.

“You just got rid of his old flip phone last year. I’m surprised he can even use a touchscreen without punching a hole through it. Just delete the app once you’ve seen what you needed to see.”

Tsukumo gave you this advice like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Ignoring her digs at Toji’s age, and maybe it was the 3 bottles of sake the both of you had blown through in the last hour, but you were starting to think she might be onto something.

“Mmm, on second thought, might as well keep it on there. Men like Fushiguro are dogs that need to be kept on tight leashes.”

Tsukumo grinned at you with a wink before turning her attention back to the bartender.

You still didn’t know then if you would actually go through with it.

Nevertheless, here you are now at 11:15 PM at night about to pull up on your boyfriend thanks to Tsukumo’s advice to find out once and for all if Toji was cheating on you.

You had dropped Megumi off at his best friend Yuji’s for the night, thanking Yuji’s parents for watching him and feeling guilty for lying to them that you and Toji had a date night.

Almost there.

You are within 2 miles of arriving at the vicinity of where the monitoring app says Toji is.

However, your anxieties were getting the best of you as you drove in near tears.

You turn up your music louder, the booming bass distracting you from how much darker and creepier it gets the further you drive into the wooded area.

Sighing again, you had no idea how this would turn out but you knew the result would determine whether you would be listening to Positions by Ariana Grande or Playing Games by Summer Walker on repeat during the drive back.

☠

Barely a half mile later, you see the engine light of your car flash. The pungent odor of burning oil fills the car as a plume of smoke escapes out from under the hood.

Goddamn it, Toji.

“Y/N, make sure to go get ‘er an oil change while I’m gone. Ya got like 15 good miles left on ‘er.” Toji’s voice rang in your mind.

Well the big lunk he was wrong.

You had driven at least 33 miles so far.

You mentally cussed him again.

Toji was the one who was supposed to change your oil, he used your car more than you did. Only opting to use his own blacked out unplated and unlicensed car for jobs like he was on now.

You wouldn’t have even left the house if it wasn’t for his sketchy cheating headass.

Okay, so you hadn’t exactly confirmed that just yet, but you were pissed and until you confirmed otherwise, right now he was a cheater and everything about this situation was his fault.

Pulling over to the side of the dirt road before you caused further damage to your car, you weighed your options.

Option 1: Call AAA

You had zero bars though.

Fuck.

Option 2: Wait here in the safety of the car until morning.

You would still have zero bars and you might miss Toji, making this whole trip fruitless.

If he beat you home in the morning and found you gone with Megumi at Yuji’s with the sad excuse for a 'date night' lie you gave, you would never hear the end of it.

He would taunt you into oblivion that your silly ass drove all the way up here unto the woods for your car to break down cause you were too busy being a psycho bitch to remember to get an oil change.

Option 3: Walk on foot the rest of the way to Toji.

Really the only viable option you had.

It was a good 12 miles or so back to the highway, you didn’t know how many turns you had made since then and you doubt you could make it back on foot anyway. If you were going to walk a few miles to get service again you might as well walk to where Toji was.

Sure if he wasn’t cheating you would still get ridiculed, but at least you could get a ride home.

And if he was cheating, you would hot wire his car (one of the few useful things he did teach you) and that motherfucker and his whore could find their own way home.

Resolving yourself to walk, you put on Toji's hoodie that fortunately was still in the backseat from him last using your car to go to the gym.

You really should have put more thought into planning this before you left. Besides Toji’s oversized worn hoodie that reached your mid-thighs all you were wearing was a thin white shirt and black spandex shorts.

You didn’t even have sneakers or boots, as you looked down at your fuzzy black slippers you mostly only wore outside to run short errands like dropping off Megumi at preschool or picking up groceries.

Thankfully, you did have a small flashlight in the glove compartment though in case of emergencies like this.

Flashlight in tow, you step outside of your stalled car and immediately suck in a worried breath as the weight of the chilly night settles over you like a heavy cloak.

You only have a mile and a half trek but the dirt road that stretches out before you looks endless as it disappears into the obscurity of the thick shroud of fog surrounding you.

The flashlight doesn’t do much to cut through the intense density of condensation. You had only made it a mere 20 feet from your car but you can just barely make out its faint outline.

Swallowing, you put on your bravest face and fix your gaze forward.

The reflections of your flashlight casts shifty patterns on the mist in your peripheral vision and you do your best to ignore the chill that creeps up your shoulders.

“Fuck you, Toji.”

You mumble half-heartedly, pulling the hood over head.

You didn’t really mean it though. Would-be-cheater or not more than anything you wished he was here with you now.

You were freezing, tired and all you could think about was how warm and safe you would feel in Toji’s arms. Even if you were mad at him.

You pick up the pace, wanting to get to him sooner.

Almost more unnerving than the fog itself, the forest around you is as quiet as a grave.

There are no chirps of crickets, nor hoots of owls.

Not even in the crisp cold of fall does the wind rustle through the trees, everything is silent.

The haunting nature around you seems to hold its breath as if it knows you're an unwelcome intruder who has trespassed too far.

You don’t dare peer into the trees which look taller in the darkness, closing in tightly on the dirt road. They are ghastly silhouettes of their former selves blocking any moonlight to help guide your way.

You shiver as you feel as if you are being watched from a distance.

The only noise you hear is the soft crunching of rocks and leaves beneath your feet with every unsure step you take forward.

You can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread as a stray tear runs down your cheek.

You couldn’t get to Toji soon enough.

Though you still didn’t have any service the GPS updated as much as it could in roaming, you were so close.

As you continue forward a shadow on the path catches your eye in the foggy distance.

Your heart quickens as you inch closer, your anticipation mingling with fear.

Shapes soon begin to take form and the harsh reality dawns upon you.

A pack of wolves.

Their shadowy figures coalesce before you through the fog as they take stock of you.

You start to feel queasy as you see their red-stained muzzles dripping with the blood of their latest kill. The grotesque carcass of a deer practically stripped to the bone lay lifeless under their enormous paws.

Their eyes, fierce and predatory, meet yours with a chilling intensity as the feeble beam of your flashlight washes over them. The deer, although large, you know is not enough to quell hunger from beasts of their size.

With a shaky breath you slowly retreat, not wanting to further agitate their already aggravated predatory senses.

Then you hear it.

From what seems to be the darkest reaches of the night, a sound reverberates from the trees, through the forest and beyond that's unlike anything you've ever heard before.

The howl that tears through the stillness is so chilling you instantly feel the lamentation that carries the weight of centuries of primal power down in the very marrow of your bones.

Even the wolves snap their heads to attention and bow their heads as if the sound announced the presence of a creature much higher on the food chain... something more ancient and malevolent…

...something terrifyingly unhuman.

The body racking shiver you experience is so intense it has you sprinting at full speed before your mind, frozen from fear, can even process you are moving.

You burst through the dense trees, leaving the road as your heart pounds like a drum in your chest and tears stream freely down your cheeks to soak the edge of Toji’s sweatshirt.

The tangled underbrush of the forest whips the soft skin of your legs and the forest itself seems to conspire against you as you navigate the obstacle course of branches, logs and large rocks all seemingly with a mission to slow you down.

You can hear the chilling howls of the wolves you saw on the road call out behind you, giving chase.

The sounds of their footfalls grow closer with every passing second.

Terrifying as they are, they hold no candle against the howl that sent you running and your body continues to propel you forward.

Panic frazzles your senses and you make the tragic error of trying to steal a glance back behind you before directly colliding with a large cedar.

Groaning from the impact you reel as you try to gather yourself, clinging to the tree for support.

You hear a twig snap behind you and you whirl around as you are faced with a largest gray wolf out of the pack who had been chasing you.

The alpha wolf’s teeth glint menacingly as their breath escapes in visible puffs in the frigid night air.

Too late to try to make a run for it again, you whimper as you resign yourself to your fate. You slid down the large tree to bury your face in your knees.

Was this it?

Was this how you died?

You weren’t even able to see Toji after coming all this way.

You also wanted to be able to hug Megumi one last time and maybe knock the daylights out of Tsukumo for her horrible ass idea.

But ultimately this was all your fault.

You could be snuggled up with Gumi on the sofa with snacks watching Anpanman but your dumbass had to go galavanting off into the middle of the woods like a fucking lunatic and now you’re about to be eaten by a wolf.

You could feel the wolf’s overbearing presence as it approached you but you couldn’t bear to look up. You’d rather spend your final moments thinking of Toji and Megumi.

Yet despite your impending doom, your head did snap up once you felt a rough tongue gently lick your ankles and curiously sniff at the ends of Toji's hoodie covering your legs.

The wolf was more than intimidating up close as its giant muzzle was the size of your entire head.

However the wolf regarded you cautiously like it almost recognized you before releasing its own chillingly deep howl and promptly running off.

Wait– T-The hell?!

You sat there at the trunk of the tree trying to process the interaction that just took place but you didn’t have much time to ponder as you heard something else approaching you rapidly.

The sound of snapping twigs and heavy, uneven footfalls don’t seem to be that of a wolf, renewing the sensation of dread through your body.

Your heart races in your chest as the ominous sounds of the being looming evermore closer become more pronounced.

From the shadows emerges a monstrous figure.

The fog doesn’t reach this deep into the forest and the moonlight that peeks between the trees glimmers on its enlarged taut muscles.

Its eyes, red, burn like fiery amber.

Fierce and resolute you can see them pierce through the darkness long before you can make out any features of the creature's face.

What you think upon first glance must be a demonic apparition from your worst nightmares ends up being–

Toji?!

As he steps into a beam of moonlight, the transformation before you is complete.

Toji’s once-human and feet hands have become formidable claws with nails like blades, his face remains mostly unchanged with the exception of his mouth which in his snarl reveals rows of gleaming, razor-sharp teeth.

He is still mostly human in appearance but you can tell he stands taller, nearly 8 feet.

The thicker body hair on his forearms bristles with raw power.

He was completely bare save for the tattered jeans barely hanging on his body that had torn from the sheer size of his enormous muscularity in this form.

Each step he takes towards you makes your heart skip a beat yet you stare transfixed, unable to look away and your tears increase.

Was this terrifying otherworldly apparition the boyfriend you had been searching for?

Time stands still in that haunting moment as Toji’s eyes bore into your soul with a predatory intensity.

His hunger and primal instincts radiates off of him like a palpable force.

“T-T-Toji?”

You cautiously inquire through your quiet sobs.

“Y/N?! What the fuck do you think y’er doing out here?”

Toji snarls back at you. His growl seems to cause the very atmosphere to vibrate and the earth beneath you quakes as your body involuntarily quivered with fear.

Toji thought he must have been losing his goddamn mind when he caught onto your scent earlier but here you were like a lost little lamb to the slaughter before him.

He came out onto the woods to be alone, away from civilization and away from you and Megumi during his monthly transformations.

It was safer that way, for all of you.

You had been fortunate the local wolf pack had acknowledged him as their Alpha and recognized his scent on you.

But there were far worse dangers in the forest besides them.

Toji wouldn’t be able to protect you like he was now.

Not with you needing protection from him too.

Protection from him as not only was it a full moon, it was a harvest moon, a mating moon.

The primal urge to rip you apart was only truncated by the more intense carnal urge to mate with you. Toji wanted to claim you as his and fuck you so hard into the girthy cedar behind you the entire tree would topple over by its roots.

He had wanted to claim you as his mate for a while now.

Even moved you in with him and Megumi as the final step but you couldn’t wait for that, could you?

You had managed to track him somehow all the way out here and throw his whole plan into the shitter.

He could barely control himself in this form as it is and now your scent, blubbering cries and the fucking harvest moon were sending him with full force into a fierce rut.

“T-Toji w-what is this!? W-what’s happened to you!? W-what are you doing out here?!”

Worry saturates your voice as you choke out your questions in rapid fire cries not giving him time to even respond.

Toji fights the predatory instinct in him who sees you as his prey and if your gaze wasn’t so focused on trying to read his face for answers you surely would have noticed him fully bricked near bursting out of his worn jeans.

You looked so appetizing.

He needed you.

However, Toji could tell your nerves were completely shot and the slightest twitch of his muscles toward you had you almost jumping out of your skin like a little bunny rabbit.

“Y-Y/N…”

His voice strained itself into a murmur as he attempted to do his best to lull you into some sort of security so he could explain things calmly to you.

Yet the way he was near salivating, drool dripping from his canines as he panted and towered over you did anything but make you feel secure.

You mistook his lust for bloodthirstiness.

“Just calm down. It’s OK.”

Toji needed you to be calm like he needed you to take steadier breaths if he was going to successfully win the tumultuous war he was fighting against his instincts to pounce on you.

There is an oppressive tension between the two of you and he can tell you are also fighting against your fight or flight reflexes.

Good girl.

It would be disastrous if you did something foolish, no telling what might happen then.

But unfortunately for the both of you, your fits of emotion and impulses are what had your crazy ass out here in the first place.

The pressure had officially gotten to you.

Toji’s lies, your car, the woods, the wolves, everything leading up to this point bubbled over because the last thing you wanted to be told right now was to ‘just calm down’.

You snapped.

“Ok? OK?! OKAY?!...TOJI WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT THIS IS O.K. RIGHT NOW!?”

You were practically hysterical as you yelled at him, momentarily forgetting your fears of Toji’s new form.

The trigger of being told to 'calm down' in a situation where you clearly had every right to feel every fucking emotion you wanted won out over everything else.

“MY CAR BROKE DOWN BECAUSE OF YOU DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT WITH WHOEVER THE FUCK OUT HERE, I LITERALLY WAS JUST CHASED BY WOLVES, ALMOST EATEN, AND Y-YOU… Y-YOU-”

A crackling snap came from above you and you realized Toji’s claws had completely ripped a large chunk out of the tree right above your head.

Your tantrum had in turn pushed him over the edge as well.

His irises flared intensely at you as you quivered under his gaze in fear.

He would have you but first, he would play with you a bit.

Things never happened the easy way with you.

Yet, that’s also exactly the way Toji liked it too. That's why he'd put up with you thus far.

A malevolent smirk dons Toji's features as his simple command issues an unsettling tremor running down into the depths of your being.

“Run.”

P2 HERE!

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ

A/N: Count on Tsukumo to always given the wrong fuckin’ advice. Lmfao! Or was it the right advice in this case? Hmm we will see what happens next!

Smutty goodness in the next part. This part was just to set the horror mood!

I promise this fic isn't as nearly as long as Ghostface!Choso. It's looking to be about 8k total and I have 3.5k of P2 finished lol.

Reblog if you are both submissive and breedable for Werewolf!Toji, but likes and comments are appreciated all the same!

ღTaglistღ:

@callm3senpaii @arxliana @jujutsualy @luxiethefairy @fredswh0re @missphanosaur18 @moon-esque @briefrebelfanalmond @nikkitc0703 & @dancingwithdeities (prone bone coming in p2 just for u sweets!) LMK below if you would like to be tagged in P2. For all kizzatober fic tags comment on m.list.

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papercorgiworld · 2 months

Text

Quite a long night

Alternatively: Enzo’s deal with Mattheo

Enzo and Mattheo x reader

You can read this request as a summary, because I don’t want to reveal anything else.

Warning: not really a threesome, but still you get fucked by both Enzo and Mattheo, fingering, oral m and f receiving, submissive reader I guess, piv, overstimulationand maybe orgasm denial… I’m not good at warnings, but I’m sure you get it: 18+

Minimal plot, sorry. I hope it lives up to the expectations. I might have strayed a bit from the essence of the request. Not exactly a threesome, but the next best thing I guess, because I honestly believe Mattheo would go mental if he had to watch the woman he loves with another man. I’m going to be honest, I’m a softy so despite the jealousy this isn’t crazy rough, I mean this is just how I write but I did my best.

A/N: If you check out my little masterlist thingy, you’ll notice I added a little currently working on etc. This is because of some changes in life, which have me worried about how much time I’ll have to write so this way you can check up on what I’m doing.

Feedback is always welcome. Happy readings!

Tears are welling up but you hold them back as you tell Pansy everything that had happened the night before. Sympathetically she listens to your painned voice, while Lorenzo approaches you with a frown on his face as he listens in. “He just walked out and now we’re done. Can you believe it?” Enzo raises his eyebrows and uncrosses his arms to wrap you in his arms. “Mattheo’s an idiot sometimes. He’ll come around. He always does.” You huff through sobs as you break down in Enzo’s arms. “He needs to realize that I am not someone he can toss away whenever he wants to and then come back when it fits him.” Enzo places a soft kiss on your temple, arms still tightly embracing you. You stay in his arms for a while and Pansy who’s been silently watching the both of you chews her lip. “I’m not one to meddle, but if you really want Mattheo to realize that you won’t wait for him every time he gets confused over his daddy and mommy issues, you can always fake date Enzo. I’m sure Mattheo will learn.” With watery eyes you stare at Pansy, but slowly her idea starts to make a lot of sense. When you turn to look at Enzo with teary eyes he really can’t say no. A hesitant breath leaves his lips as he worries about what he’s getting himself into, before speaking up. “What are best friends for if it isn’t for fake dating.” He jokes and you cuddle up to him.

It only took Mattheo two days to lose his patience. He had endured enough of you two and was done watching you with him. You in Enzo’s lap laughing at his goofy acts. Enzo’s hand slowly moving down and resting on your ass. You wrapped in Enzo’s arms while he places a soft kiss on your forehead. Enzo leaning back in the common room just to wrap his arm around you, gently playing with your hair. Your hand on Enzo’s thigh tenderly moving up as he stares at you with adoring eyes. Mattheo was forced to watch it all.

When you and Lorenzo skipped breakfast and stayed in one morning, Mattheo had had enough. With gritted teeth and dark eyes Mattheo walks the hallways of the castle. Berkshire, you worm, you had no right to spend the night with my girl. We’re not together at the moment, but she’s still my one love and you know that, you little shit. Enzo was out of line. “Berkshire!” Enzo snapped his head around to find a fuming Mattheo approaching him. This was bound to happen, honestly Mattheo had held together for longer than Enzo expected him to. “You break it off with my girl, today!” Mattheo pushes Enzo against a wall, but Enzo bites back pushing Mattheo’s hands off of him. “Why would I do that when she’s so much fun?” Lorenzo’s suggestive teasing makes Mattheo’s heart squeeze tight. You were his girl, he needed you back. Mattheo reaches for his wand as his eyes burn with hate and he closes in on Enzo’s face. “You will step back, because I love her and I will have her back. I’ll kill for that brat, so go find someone else.” Mattheo’s voice is ice cold, but he doesn’t cast a curse. Lorenzo relaxes as he watches Mattheo turn away, but as soon as Enzo lets his guard down Mattheo throws a punch, hitting Enzo’s cheek hard, before calmly walking away.

***

Enzo lets himself fall next to you on the couch with a sigh. You immediately spot the bruise on his cheekbone with horrified eyes and gentle fingers, you brush his face. “It isn’t that bad.” Lorenzo whispers and you feel guilt well up. “This was a horrible idea.” Enzo meets your eyes with a comforting smile. He tugs your hand and you move to sit in his lap, brushing your lips over his. “Did he say something?” His eyes fall to his hand resting on your thigh. It takes a moment before Enzo meets your eyes, but when he does you notice how soft they are. “Matt loves you (y/n) and we both know you belong with him… so I guess it’s time we stop fooling around.” You look down to his hand, his thumb drawing soft circles on your thigh, and chew your lip. “What did he say exactly?” You wonder, does Mattheo really love you, does he really want you back? Lorenzo softly brushes his fingers through your hair, adoring your beauty. “It’s what you wanted right? He wants you back and I’m sure that he’s not gonna let go of you ever again.” You wanted Mattheo back so bad, you belonged with him, you were sure of that, but a part of you was going to miss Enzo. “I’ll miss our time together.” You whisper and meet his eyes. A soft smile tugs on Enzo’s lips. “Wish you could have us both?” You hide your face in the crook of his neck, before softly whispering: “Maybe.”.

***

You and Enzo decided to break things off tomorrow. After today’s classes you would have one last date night, which again ended with you underneath him.

You lay on your bed as his hands moved over your thigh, while he kissed and sucked on your neck, leaving small bruises. Your fingers entangle in his hair as you feel his hand slowly move under your dress and up to your panties. “Please, Enzo.” You moan and he traces kisses from your neck to your lips. “Take off that dress for me first.” You push him off of you and while he removes his shirt he watches you with hungry eyes as you reveal your lingerie to him. Instantly he’s back on top of you, his eyes scanning your body. “So fucking beautiful.” His fingers gently trace your bra, hips and thighs, before focussing on your panties. His hand slips underneath the soft fabric of your panties and a finger slides through your folds. “Wet, but not wet enough.” Lorenzo growls and with those words he enters a finger, sinking deep into you, making you moan. Your parted lips are a silent invitation for him to sneak his tongue in and eagerly explore your mouth. Muffled moans fill the room as his finger plays with your clit, making you arch your back and squirm underneath him. He feels your body tense as your orgasm builds up. “Not so quick, princess.” He pulls out his finger, making you whimper before whining. “Enzo.” You whine. Mattheo was right, you're spoiled rotten.

You watch him through hooded eyelids as he traces kisses over your breasts, while his hand sneaks to your back to unclasp your bra. His tongue eagerly moves over your perked nipples and you tug to his hair, whimpering underneath him as sensations build up. While his mouth plays with your nipples his hands are free to move down your panties a little, only separating his mouth from your boobs to carelessly throw your panties on your bedroom room. Enzo places soft kisses over your tummy, announcing his way down. You can feel your core get needy for him as he works his way down teasingly slow. “I beg you, Enz, please-” A soft cry interrupts your plea as his tongue slips between your folds. His hands grip your thigh forcing your legs open so he can press his face hard against your pussy. Soft desperate moans escape you, but it’s not enough for Enzo and his hands move to your boobs kneading them and fingers harshly playing with your sensitive nipples, while mercilessly devouring your cunt.

You cry out Enzo’s name as you buck your hips searching for that last touch to tip you over the edge. He grabs your ass like a brute angling you right so he can give you what you need, his tongue focused on your clit. Your lips part, but no sound comes out as you climax with Enzo’s mouth still working your pussy, thirsty to taste your juices. He finally moves away to watch you panting underneath him, slowly removing his pants and boxers revealing his large member to you. You squirm as you realize that Enzo was far from done with you, which only makes Lorenzo smirk as he jerks himself before crawling over you. He looked godly, fully naked and hovering over you, lustful for you.

He kisses you intensely and despite your already wobbly legs you bravely reach for his cock. You stroke Enzo’s painfully hard cock and he moans into the kiss, while you guide him to your entrance. “You’re so good for me.” Enzo whimpers as he slowly moves inside you, loving the feeling of your walls around him. Once he’s settled deep inside of you, Enzo grabs your hips and flips you in one swift move so you’re now on top of him. A cry leaves your lips at the sudden movement with his dick deep inside of you. “Move for me.” Enzo whispers as he brushes your hair out of your face. You nod with your mouth slightly agape and do as he asked. With your hands on his shoulders you bounce on his dick. You start slowly, but quickly try to pick up the pace. Enzo pants and moans as his eyes move from your blushed face to your pretty tits moving in front of him to your cunt taking him so fucking well. You drop your head and soft cries escape you as you struggle to take his full size, feeling him stretch you hard and deep.

As Enzo feels his orgasm approach he curses himself for making a deal with Mattheo. Your walls clench so good around him, he wants you to cum and he wants to cum, but instead he stops your hips from moving. “Get on your knees and let your mouth work.” Enzo clenches his jaw as you look at him with confused and pleading eyes. Was he punishing you for some reason allowing you to feel him inside of you to then take that away from you with any release. “Enzo, please.” You whine cupping his face and doing your best to move on his dick despite Enzo’s strong grip on your hips. “Do as I say sweetheart.” Reluctant you move up, leaving your pussy clenching around nothing as you still so desperately want to cum. With innocent eyes you watch Enzo as you move to sit between Enzo’s legs. His hand makes its way to your hair, caressing your scalp as you open your mouth to taste his cock covered in both your juices. Your legs are pressed tightly closed as you feel your clit throbbing in need of touch, but you ignore your own desire and focus on pushing Enzo’s hard member deep down your throat. Enzo moves your head just a little more, making you gag a little before allowing you to move up and down. You pause a moment to lick and suck his tip before working his dick deep again. When feels himself get close Enzo firmly grips your hair and thrusts upwards into your mouth, fucking your mouth and spilling deep inside of you. Your eyes get watery as you take his load. Surprised by his own harshness he pulls your flustered face towards his. Brushing a tear away with his thumb. “You’re so pretty. So sweet.”

Enzo pulls you close and wraps his arms around you, while kissing you passionately, before pulling away and leaving you alone and naked on your bed. You watch him confused, desperate and vulnerable. With one word from Enzo the key from the door clicks, unlocking it and it only takes a second for the door to open. Flustered and with still teary eyes you watch Mattheo walk in and instantly your lips part as a soft sound leaves your lips. Mattheo feels himself get hard the second he sees your naked body, glinstering cunt and flushed face, exactly how he wanted you. Feeling vulnerable under Mattheo’s piercing gaze you close your legs and look away in shame. Enzo places a soft hand on your thigh, squeezing gently, while his lips move close to your ear. “You said you wished you could have us both.” Your eyes move from Enzo to Mattheo who slowly removes his tie with his eyes still focussed on you. “So I managed to make a little deal with the devil.” Enzo pulls away from you and licks his lips.

“Can I watch?” Lorenzo asks with a playful smile, but Mattheo doesn’t look at him as he steps closer to your naked sheepish figure. “Get lost Berkshire, I’m the boyfriend, you’re the toy.” Your mouth drops as Enzo just grins at you, pulling up his pants and grabbing his shirt, before leaving. With confused eyes you stare at the door through which Enzo just left. You sit still on the bed, unmoved as Mattheo sits down next to you on the bed, watching you carefully while you avoid his gaze, feeling your heart race with anticipation of what is to come. “Don’t be ungrateful.” Mattheo whispers softly, while stroking your cheek. “Open your legs for me.” You part them only slightly as you feel your wetness pool at his words, stimulating your sensitive overstimulated pussy. “Wider, I’m not Enzo, I need to be deeper inside of you.” He immediately inserts two fingers harshly into you. “Berkshire lived up to his word, preparing your cunt for me. It’s soaked.” You whimper as his fingers stretch you and forcefully circle your clit. “I’m still sensitive.” You whimper barely audible, feeling your whole body fill with sensations at your boyfriend’s touch. “You wanted the both of us, love, so now you’ve got to take the both of us, no complaining.” Mattheo whispers harshly with eyes focused on your teary ones as you softly nod.

Mattheo continues to thrust his fingers inside of you, while wrapping an arm around your figure and pulling you against him. He rests his head against yours, allowing himself to take in your warmth and smell. I missed you, princess. You cling to his shirt as his fingers curl inside of you soaking his hand with your arousal. You let your head rest on his shoulder as you whimper at his touch. You missed his touch and warmth so much. “I love you, Mattheo.” You whisper with a shaky voice and watery eyes. “I love you too and I promise I’m here to stay.” He whispers softly before suddenly pulling his fingers away from your needy pussy. “But don’t ever fuck that toy of yours without my permission again or you’ll regret it.” He grabs your chin and forces you to meet his eyes. Your naked figure is shaky as you nod softly, eyes focussed on his dark ones. “How do you want me?” You ask innocently, knowing that pleasing your boyfriend is the only way he will lead you cum tonight.

“Hands and knees.” He states and gets up to undress, while you move to please him. He watches you with longing eyes, while gently stroking your thigh before harshly grabbing the flesh of your asscheeks. “I’ve been hungry for you for a while, so this really isn’t going to be pretty.” Mattheo warns as he grabs his cock and guides it to your entrance to tease you, only brushing his tip through your folds. You spread your legs a little wider and lower your hips in search of more of his touch, while simultaneously grabbing the sheets tightly and arching your back, preparing for Mattheo’s animalistic side. However, he continues to tease you and watch you squirm for a few moments. Angry with himself that he allowed Enzo to have even a glimpse of how good you could be. He needed to fuck you hard and deep and probably more than once to find peace with what you had allowed Enzo to do to you. Without warning Mattheo thrusts into you, immediately earning a cry from you.

Firmly grabbing onto your hips he pounds into you like you’re a doll. You whimper his name as he hits your sensitive spot at a ridiculous pace. In record time your moans go silent as your mouth hangs open, face pressed onto the mattress as your pussy is forced to take Mattheo’s thick cock fast and deep. His eyes carefully watch you and when notices you’re only seconds away from climaxing he reluctantly pulls out, turning you into a sobbing mess and flipping you over onto your back. “Wide.” He demands and you spread your weak legs as wide as you can, ashamed at your own state and your desperation for your boyfriend’s dick you look away as he hungrily watches you while kneading your breasts, thumb moving over your nipple, before slipping his cock back inside your cunt. Mattheo cups your cheek and forces you to meet his eyes as he pushes himself deep inside of you, watching your lips part for silent moan as he stretches your walls. Softly he brushes your cheek with his thumb. “You belong to me, princess.” He growls and you nod with submissive eyes, before snaking your arms around his neck, while he settles in the crook of your neck. He starts rutting into you again, directly hitting the spot you need him to and finally giving you that much needed orgasm that nearly has you pass out. The blissful ecstasy running through your body helps your overstimulated walls take Mattheo a little longer for him to spill his load into you, something that was only reserved for him since he’s your boyfriend.

Your fingers entangle in your favorite curly hair as Mattheo pants against your shoulder, still keeping his dick inside of you for a few more moments. “I’m sorry for what I did with Enzo.” You whisper and Mattheo places a soft sloppy kiss on your cheek. “It’s okay, princess. I was an ass to you, I deserved it and you deserved a little treat.” You rest your cheek against him, but he moves away a little. “But, I meant what I said earlier. Don’t ever let him touch him with my permission. You’re mine.” You nod knowing he was dead serious, but you can’t help but like the idea that there is a possibility of him granting permission. However, at the moment your body was not in need of another round. “How about a warm lavender bath for the princess?” You nod, eager to lay on your boyfriend’s chest as the warm water relaxes your body. After all, it had been quite a long night.

Bonus?

Relaxed and cleaned, you enjoy the intimacy of sitting together surrounded by the water. You feel yourself dozing off as Mattheo runs the washing cloth over your skin softly while you lay on his chest. He kisses your cheek and you hum at his touch, making him chuckle softly. “I’m glad the smell of Enzo is finally gone.” Your eyes flutter open again as the tone of his voice warns you. “Get up. One last fuck. Then you can rest.” Mattheo’s voice is demanding and you get up reaching for a nearby towel. He follows swiftly and lets his eyes wander shamelessly. The plan was to at least get you to the bedroom, but when Mattheo catches you staring at his hardening member through the mirror he smirks, before pulling your body against his. With your back pressed against his chest, his hand snakes between your legs making him groan and you moan. “Be good for me and maybe I’ll let that toy of yours fuck you again someday.”

Word count: 3414

Picture source Mattheo

Picture source Enzo

#slytherin #slytherin boys #enzo berkshire #enzo berkshire imagine #enzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire imagine #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #papercorgiworldwritings

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writtenbymisunderstoodnerds · 6 months

Text

Best day of my life (USWNT x ADHD reader)

Song: The one my heart beats for by Greg Steinfeld

This took longer than I expected and I got a bit carried away, but it's finally done!

I love this series, but I think it might be coming to an end. I'm open to doing one more part if you guys might want one, let me know and feel free to send me some ideas!

Warnings: Panic attack, self doubt

Part One, Two, Three, Four

Words: 7.3k

"What's got you so excited today?" Tierna asked sitting down next to me on the field. While I had tried to tone it down a bit, I was very hyperactive today. My hyperactivity was always worse when I was excited, there was pretty much nothing that could be done to stop it. Ally had to go back home for a month for work. We hadn't been apart for that long since her promotion so I was suffering. She was coming back today so it was safe to say I was extremely excited.

"Take a guess."

"Something to do with your better half I'd say. Is she coming back today?"

I did a little wiggle before flopping back onto the grass, "Yup. A month is way too long to not be with her. Oh! It's also her birthday in a few days! I love her birthday because it's the one day I get to go all out spoiling her and she can't complain about it."

"You two are adorable, I love how excited you get to see her. We should do a team dinner to celebrate Ally's birthday. Is the wedding planning all done?"

"You guys would really want to celebrate her birthday? Um also mostly, we just need to sort out wedding rings and honeymoon."

Tierna looked at me like I had just said the craziest thing ever, "You're marrying her, we see her almost as much as you and she is amazing. Y/n, Ally is family now, of course we want to celebrate her. What rings are you going to get?"

The problem was, I had no idea what my ring was going to be. I had been scouring the internet and countless jewelers for anything that might work, but I was drawing a blank. Rings were a sensory nightmare for me, I could wear them for a short time before they started driving me crazy. Ally had gotten me a few rings over the years, mostly fidget rings. She knew I liked them and wanted to try adjusting even though I always ended up wearing them on a chain. It was my wedding ring though, I wanted to be able to wear it normally, to show off that I was married.

"I don't know. I think Ally is going to use her engagement ring since she loves it so much. I really struggle with wearing rings so we were talking about getting me a fidget ring though a fancier one to fit as a wedding ring. That way I can play with it and hopefully it'll help me get used to it. Ally wouldn't care if I wore it on a chain, but I want to wear it like normal people do, I want to show off I'm married T."

"Hey, don't go comparing yourself to others okay? I think a fidget ring is a great idea and it's awesome you're trying to adjust even if it makes you uncomfortable. Just be patient with yourself and if all else fails, just get it tattooed."

"That's not a silly idea. Thanks T."

---

"Hey Y/n, wher-"

"Don't have time," I yelled running away from Emily. Ally had messaged saying she was downstairs. I was very excited to see her, but I also wasn't going to let her carry her bags up herself. Whenever we went anywhere, I carried her bags. Ally had messaged me when she was already in the lobby, so I was in a rush to beat her before she could come up.

Before Ally had the chance to turn around I wrapped my arms around her waist and spun her around. She squealed, well at least the person I was currently spinning around squealed. As soon as I heard it, I realised it wasn't Ally. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I thought you were someone else."

The women laughed, before turning around to reveal Ally's younger sister. When you see her face on, they look nothing alike, but behind they look very similar, "Hi Y/n."

"Dani? What are you doing here? Where's Ally? I'm very confused."

"Ally's over there getting her key. I'm in town for a work conference so figured I'd come see Ally for her birthday." By this point, the coaches just automatically roomed me alone, but put down for two so Ally could stay with me. There had been a bit of push back when Ally first started traveling with me, though it was quickly realised that I played better when sharing a room with Ally.

After giving Dani a proper hug, I pulled away to go find Ally. There was no way I was going to repeat what just happened so instead I tapped Ally on the shoulder once she was clearly identified. "A warning would have been nice y'know, I just picked up and spun around your sister. Like I'm not complaining, I love your sister, but I love you more."

"I know, I saw and it was hilarious." I pouted. Ally giggled, pulling me into a hug and subtly kissing my neck. We didn't go out of our way to hide our relationship, but we were more careful in public. Things were easier without the public interfering, I also didn't want Ally to have to deal with the meanness of some of the fans. "I'm sorry my love. It was a last minute plan."

I pretended to think about it for a second before smirking, "Hmm I'll forgive you later when we're alone."

Ally blushed, but pulled me over to Dani without a word. I could only guess what was going through her mind. Dani had become like a sister to me pretty much as soon as we had met. So despite my initial embarrassment, I was actually really excited to see her. She was only a few months younger than me and much to Ally's dismay, she did match my energy most of the time. Ally loved that we got along, but it meant she had to deal with two crazy people.

It was too early for dinner yet so Ally, Dani and I hung around in our room for a while catching up and talking about wedding stuff. Dani made me sit through the torture of looking at her possible dress choices. Ally loved it, but I would rather be doing anything else. Dani literally sat on me though, so there was no other option.

Ally was taking too long to get ready so Dani and I decided to wait for her in the lobby. I had spent too much time sitting down and was feeling restless so I ran down the stairs while Dani walked behind me, complaining she wasn't an athlete and to slow down. I just flipped her off and ran faster, knowing full well that if Ally or Ali found out I would be in trouble.

Dani had decided to chase me after flipping her off. Some of the team were hanging around the lobby so I made a beeline to Ali and hid behind her, though Dani hadn't given up. I managed a few laps around Ali before she grabbed my shirt, allowing Dani to catch me. The team watched on as Dani tickled me, while I tried to fight her off. It wasn't an easy task given the full blown fits of laughter, but I managed to get her into a headlock.

Eventually, Dani pulled out of my grip, doubling over in laughter while attempting to catch her breath. I followed suit, not realising how many eyes were currently on us. "Uh hey Y/n and mystery women who's not your fiancé."

My head shot up as I realised how strange this probably looked to them. "Right, this is Dani. Dani the team."

"Hello team."

"Where's Ally?" Ali asked, still looking very confused.

"She was taking too long to get ready as always so we left without her. We're always waiting on her, such a slowpoke." Dani answered, getting raised eye brows in response. A few of the team looked like they wanted to say something, but held back. It was then I realised I hadn't actually told them who Dani was.

"Dani is Ally's sister by the way. She's in town for work so we thought we'd go out for an early birthday dinner for Ally."

"Ohh that makes more sense. Nice to meet you Dani."

Ally caught my eye, looking stunning as always. I was really looking forward to having time alone with her. Not necessarily for inappropriate reasons, but to cuddle with her, the lazy make out sessions before we fell asleep or when we woke up and just being close to her. Dani flicked my ear, running out of my reach. Ali dodged me as I ran around her, moving to the safety of where Ally was standing, "Are they always like that?"

"Unfortunately. Dani matches Y/n's energy pretty much constantly so it's like having a hyperactive Y/n, times like 10 because they feed off each other. Dani is like the sister Y/n never had. They're happy, so I'm happy even though it's exhausting sometimes. I'll give them a few minutes to tire themselves out before stopping them, hopefully they'll sit through dinner."

"Good luck. The team and I were thinking we could go out for dinner to celebrate your birthday. Either on the day or a day around it. What do you think?"

"I would love that." Ally's smile caught my eye, distracting me from where I was going and making me run into Kristie. She stopped me from falling, but all my attention was still on Ally. It was one of her genuinely happy smiles, something that people wouldn't be able to tell apart from her regular smiles. This smile was more lopsided and toothy, the corner of her eyes crinkling just a bit more. Besides her love filled smile it was my favourite smile. Kristie and Dani followed my eye line when I didn't say anything for a while, "What are you looking at?"

"She's looking at Ally of course. She's in looooove."

"More than I ever thought possible," I mumbled, moving over to stand next to Ally. "I love you."

---

We had finished dinner a little while ago and had been walking around, but we all had to be up early so we dropped Dani at her hotel before starting the short walk back to ours. There weren't that many people around so my arm wrapped around Ally's shoulder, pulling her against me as we walked. "I love everyone and everything, but I'm really glad we're alone now. I missed you."

Ally kissed the spot under my ear, "I missed you too Y/n/n. Thankfully, I don't think I'll need to spend that much time away for a while."

"Good. Mmm I can't wait to cuddle."

"I believe you hinted at something earlier."

"Oh yeah, you giving me a massage to make up for not telling me about Dani."

Ally groaned, pushing me away, "You're such a tease."

I laughed, pulling Ally back into me, peppering her face with kisses, "I'm sorry."

"Nah," She pouted, walking away and into the hotel. I went to chase after her, but a group of fans outside the hotel called out to me. Interacting with fans was one of my favourite things to do so of course I went over. I knew she wasn't seriously mad or anything so it made me feel less bad about going over to them. Also, she was waiting just inside giving me reassuring smiles. Ten minutes and dozens of photos later, I made my way back into the hotel, following Ally into the elevator.

My arms wrapped around her waist from behind, leaving light kisses across her neck. Sometimes, I felt bad that Ally had to deal with me being well known to the public. She never complained about it, instead keeping her distance and allowing me to interact as I wanted to. The guilt was hitting pretty hard right now though.

Once we were back in the room, Ally cupped my cheek, pulling me in for a slow, lingering kiss, "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, not meeting her eyes, "Nothing."

"Liar. You haven't said a word since you came inside, you got all soft and touchy suddenly so talk to me."

"You're the best you know that? It can't be easy dating someone who's in the public eye all the time."

"You're feeling guilty again aren't you?" I just nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. Ally straddled my legs, letting my head fall against her shoulder. "Y/n, I knew before we started dating that you were in the public eye and that once you got called up, it would only get worse. Maybe it's not always easy, but if I couldn't handle it, then I wouldn't have pursued you, let alone agreed to spend the rest of my life with you. You're respectful about it, you know the time and place to leave me to interact with them. Please don't feel guilty Y/n/n. Now, I know it's getting late, but I've really really missed you so what do you say we get reacquainted."

Once we were thoroughly reacquainted and cuddled up in bed for the night, I completed my nightly routine of scrolling the internet for my wedding ring. This time though I think I found the one. It was a simple black titanium fidget ring, engraved with shooting stars. They were subtle as they were black and flush with the surface. Ally absolutely loved stars so it would be a little reminder of her when we were apart. Another perk was there was the option to have the band width smaller which would be perfect.

I quickly rolled over toward Ally, making her look at me confused. "Baby I think I finally found my ring."

"Ooo show me." Ally grinned after seeing the photo, kissing my temple, "I love it. Stars because of me right?"

"You know me too well. A part of you for when you're not around."

"You're such a sap."

I cuddled against her side, leaning up to connect our lips, "Only for you Ally."

"Better be. Now we've got everything else sorted, we need to plan our honeymoon."

"Honestly, I don't even know where to start. There are so many options."

"Well, you've always talked about wanting to go back to New Zealand to explore the south island. Maybe we could do that? It'll be winter, but it'll be ski season."

"Wait really? That sounds amazing. It kinda fits, skiing was our first trip as a couple and it'll be our first trip as a married couple. I'll look into game schedules so we can book it."

---

Something anyone could tell you was that I was not in the slightest a morning person. I hated waking up early and would do everything to avoid it. That being said, there were three days in a year that I naturally woke up early for. They were Ally's birthday, our anniversary and since meeting Ally, Christmas. This morning I was awake at 7:30am because it was Ally's 27th birthday. It was too early to wake her up so I spent almost an hour enjoying cuddles before getting restless and sneaking out of bed to find breakfast for us.

I peppered Ally's face with kisses. She groaned, shoving her face further against my chest, "Baby wake up it's your birthday!"

"Why does my birthday have to be one of the three days a year you turn into a morning person?" Ally groaned.

"Because I get to spoil you and you can't complain. Now I got you breakfast. I couldn't make it this year, but I found a cafe close by that had all your favourites so you gotta wake up."

Ally protested, but sat up anyway, taking the coffee with a sleepy smile. We ate breakfast in comfortable quite, some random show playing in the background. I just wanted to give her the presents I got, but I wanted her to enjoy her breakfast while it was warm so I waited impatiently. As soon as Ally finished eating, I pecked her lips before practically running to the cupboard where I had hidden them.

"Y/n, why did you get me so much? You know you don't have to."

"I don't have to, I want to so deal with it. Besides, it's only three things. You are an amazing, incredible women who deserves to be spoilt. I love you so much. Happy birthday my love."

"Thank you Y/n/n. I do appreciate it even though I don't like you buying me heaps of stuff. I love you."

"I know, now open them!"

In all honesty, I wanted to buy Ally much more than I actually did, but I knew she would feel really bad and not enjoy them as much. Instead I stuck with matching silver initial necklaces with a heart pendant, a star map of the night I proposed and a custom engraved keychain with a photo of me standing behind Ally, arms wrapped around her as she looked back at me with a huge grin. It was her favourite photo of us. These were all things that she had talked about wanting. Ally grinned, launching herself into my arms giggling. "You remembered. Thank you, I love them."

"You wanna know a secret?" Ally nodded quickly, "You know my memories shit so whenever you point something out that you want or talk about, I write it down in my phone notes so I remember."

"Really? You're so sweet Y/n/n. Put this on for me?"

I secured the necklace around her neck, leaving kisses across her neck and jaw before leaving a lingering kiss against her lips. "I have a whole day planned for you. Don't even ask because it's all a surprise."

We spent a while making out before moving to the shower and finally leaving the hotel. Ally went for a spa and massage session, while I went to get stuff required for a picnic lunch at the gardens. It was a little bit chilly, but Ally loved picnics so it was still perfect. We just used it as an excuse to cuddle the whole time. After the picnic, we walked around for a little bit before going to a board game cafe. They had a heap of board games you could play while you were there. While board games may not have been my thing, they were definitely Ally's and her birthday was all about things that she liked doing. That night, I took Ally to a restaurant where the team were waiting to surprise her. Of course we finished the night cuddled up in bed watching all of Ally's favourite movies.

---

I felt multiple intense and overwhelming feelings as I read the text from an unknown number.

Unknown: Hi Y/n, it's mum and dad. We're sorry it's been a while, but we've been thinking about you recently and wanted to check in, see how you're doing?

Unknown: We also heard you were getting married and wanted to say congratulations. We're sure he's lovely and can't wait to meet him. Maybe we can sort out a time before your wedding?

Anger, disgust, sadness, fear and many more emotions swirled around my head as all I could do was stare at the message. I didn't know how they had gotten my number, how they knew I was getting married or why they suddenly felt the need to reach out after years of no contact. There was nothing on my public social media about it and the only family I still talked to were a few cousins that had nothing to do with my parents. It was safe to say I was confused as hell and slightly scared at how they were getting information on me. They also knew I was gay, yet they still refused to acknowledge it, instead deciding to misgender my fiancé.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to process it. The familiar tightness in my chest returned as my breath caught in my throat. The tightness that I hadn't felt in so long. It felt like I was drowning, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't catch my breath. My phone fell to the floor, catching the attention of some of the girls. They were saying stuff that I couldn't comprehend as a hand landed on my shoulder. I knew they were trying to help, but it just sent more panic through me as I shrugged it off and stumbled back.

Arms wrapped tightly around me from behind, calming me down enough to realise it was Ali. I wanted my Ally, but Ali was helping enough to breath a little easier despite still panicking.

"You're okay, I've got you Y/n. Ally is coming, but I need you to take some deep breaths for me. Just follow my breathing."

The more I focused on mine and her breathing, the easier it became. I found myself relaxing against Ali. The tightness in my chest slowly disappearing. A few minutes later, hands cupped my face, familiar lips leaving soft kisses across my face before landing on my lips.

"Ally," I whimpered, pushing myself into her arms.

"I've got you my love. Come on, let's go back to our room."

Ally didn't question what had happened straight away, instead she held me tightly as I curled into her side and cried. All the feelings and memories from growing up came rushing back. It had been years since I cried over them, I couldn't help feeling stupid. They didn't deserve my tears.

A hand ran through my hair and down my back, effectively helping me to calm down enough to stop the tears, but left me a hiccupping mess, "What happened Y/n/n?"

I handed her my phone, never leaving the safety of her side, "Messages."

She was quiet for a few seconds before my phone was thrown back on the bed next to us and I was held tighter, "Oh hell no. Don't even give them the satisfaction of a reply, they don't deserve it and you don't need to deal with this. We can just block them and move past this."

"I know that's what I should do. I don't want anything to do with them, but how did they know I was getting married? We haven't posted anything publicly and we don't know anyone who has anything to do with them. They also shouldn't be able to message, I blocked them. It scares me."

"Okay, I'll text them back and ask then block them. You're not going to have anything to do with it."

"Thank you Ally. I feel like this is a huge step back. I thought I had accepted the situation and moved past it, but I obviously haven't."

"That's not true. It was unexpected, they put you through hell and this was a normal reaction. You've made so much progress, this doesn't take away from that. I know it might have taken you back to times you don't want to remember, but you'll move past it. We'll work through this together."

"I love you."

"I love you Y/n."

It didn't take long for my parents to reply. In all honesty, they were probably waiting by the phone. They were likely delusional enough to think that everything they did to me would be forgotten and I would welcome them back with open arms. Actually, they never understood what they put me through so in reality they just expected to act like the last 3 years never happened.

"So apparently my gran told her church group I was getting married, showing off photos and everything. Someone from the group recoganised you as the daughter of someone they know from a different group and told them you were getting married. As for your number, apparently they just got a new phone and tried your old number. I guess they got embarrassed that they didn't know so wanted to make themselves look better. I'm so sorry baby, I didn't know they were connected in anyway. I'll talk to gran about keeping stuff to herself."

"It's not your fault, it's such a random connection. I don't blame your grandma either, she's just excited that her granddaughter is getting married. We can talk to her about it tomorrow or something. Can you tell them I don't want anything to do with them, then tell them to fuck off, block them and delete the messages? I don't want any reminder of this."

"Of course. I think maybe we should change your number so this can't happen again."

"That's a tomorrow job as well. For now can we just have a bath then cuddle and watch movies? After you please let the girls know I'm okay."

"That sounds like heaven. Let me call my boss as well and let her know I'm done for the day."

"No, you should be working. I'll be fine."

"That's not happening. You're more important than work."

Ally slipped out of my grip to call her boss and run a bath before coming back. I pouted, lifting my arms up, "Carry me?"

"Baby, I would love to carry you, but you're the strong one. You know I would drop you."

She was right, I knew it from experience. Doesn't mean I didn't pout the whole time I was getting up, "Ugh fine."

"Don't pout. I can give you a massage instead."

---

None of the team had been told the details of what caused my panic attack a few days. I hadn't wanted to bring it up again. Surprisingly, after the initial panic attack, it hadn't effected me as much as I expected. There had been a few nightmares to begin with, but Ally had stopped me from bottling it up and actually made me deal with it.

Ali gave me a quick hug before letting me into her room, "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but you doing okay kiddo?"

"I think so. Ally's been a big help." Besides Ally, Ali was the person I trusted most, so I gave her a quick rundown on what had happened. Even if she tried not to show it, I knew she was worried.

"Don't worry, even if they show up, they won't be getting in."

"Thanks Ali. I know I've asked a lot of you recently, but I have another favour to ask."

"You know I would do almost anything for you Y/n."

"Will you teach me how to dance? Ally wants to have a first dance, but I don't really know how. She knows and offered not to have one which I agreed to. I'm planning on surprising her though and want it to be perfect."

Ali smiled widely, "Of course I will. I really admire how much effort you're putting into this. I'm sure she'll love it either way because you tried."

Ali put some slow music on quietly in the back ground before standing in front of me, "There are two ways you can do it, either holding one of her hands as you more around or one persons arms around the waist while the others around the neck. Or you can do both depending what you're comfortable with."

Ali guided one of my hands so it was around her waist, hers looped around the back of my neck as she connected our spare hands, "Obviously you two will be closer, but you get the idea."

We moved around in small steps, swaying to the music as I focused on not stepping on her feet. It didn't work though as my foot connected with the top of hers, she flinched, but laughed it off. "It's okay, we'll keep practicing. You're doing great. If you step on her feet, just laugh it off and keep going. I'm pretty sure she won't mind because you're trying."

I stepped on her feet multiple times before managing to go a few minutes without stepping on her feet and we moved on. I was starting to relax by this point while also getting excited about dancing with Ally. Ali looped her arms loosely around my shoulders as mine went around her waist. We mostly just swayed this time as she gave me pointers on where I could rest my hands or head on Ally. "I want you to spin me."

"What? No I can't do that."

"Yes you can, when we do the first dance, move your hand up, spin me around then bring me back in either into the same dance or into the second one which ever feels more comfortable."

As I attempted to spin Ali around, I brought her back in too quickly and ended up head butting her. "Shit, I'm sorry. See I can't do the spin."

"Yes you can, we'll keep practicing. It'll feel easier with Ally because she's a bit shorter than you. Just bring me in slower."

It took a lot more head butting and tripping before I finally got the hang of it. Before we got the chance to practice the full thing properly, Ally's name flashed across my phone screen. I instantly remembered that we had dinner plans tonight and I was running late.

"I have to go."

"You did good today. On the day you're going to be nervous both because you don't want to mess up in front of everyone and because you want to be good for Ally. So when you start getting nervous, just focus on Ally, let her guide you."

"Thank you Ali. See you tomorrow."

---

I couldn't believe in just over three hours I would be married to the love of my life. I was excited beyond belief, but I was also incredibly nervous. What if I wasn't a good wife? What if Ally changed her mind and decided she didn't want to get married anymore? What if we didn't work as a married couple?

I knew it was just me overthinking. Ally and I worked well together. We loved each other deeply, we connected and understood each other, we had fun. Maybe it was cheesy, but we were made for each other. Not just because we met and connected instantly. We worked hard to get where we were, we worked hard to keep our relationship working despite our busy schedules, distance, and my issues with my ADHD. I tried to remember that as my thoughts went crazy, but it wasn't working. Ali was updating me on the set up and preparations, I couldn't focus on anything she was saying though. I was too busy overthinking.

"Y/n, Y/n!"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"I-I-I c-can't do this," I stammered, before running out of the house, Ali calling after me. I didn't stop until I found a hidden part of the beach where I slumped in the sand, tears falling down my cheeks. I don't know how long had passed when someone sat down behind me, arms wrapping around my waist and chin resting on my shoulder. Without even looking, I knew it was Ally, the softness of the way she held me and the smell of her hair gave it away. She didn't say anything for a while, just held me until the tears stopped.

Ally kissed my temple, hands drawing soothing patterns across my stomach. They weren't the soft touches most people find soothing, those touches made my sensory issues worse. There was a little bit more force behind it, making me relax against her. Sitting here with Ally, I realised that I was being stupid, there was no doubt that I was going to marry her today. Instead of being angry that I had ran away, she was here comforting me. "We can postpone if you don't want to do this, if you're having second thoughts about getting married. I understand, I know it was quick."

I quickly turned around, accidently knocking Ally over. "Shit sorry." I helped her so she was sitting again before kissing her softly, "No, no, we're not postponing. I want to marry you Ally, I'm going to marry you today, go to bed calling you my wife. I'm sorry I ran, I got stuck in my head, overthinking this, overthinking if I would even be a good wife, if you even still wanted to marry me, but didn't want to tell me and I freaked out."

"Baby, I want to marry you more than anything in this world, that hasn't changed and it won't ever change. You're are an amazing girlfriend Y/n, you're going to be an amazing wife. We're going to keep being the best couple there is and getting married is only going to strengthen that. I love you, I love you so much."

"I love you Ally. Can we stay here for a while?"

"We can stay here as long as you need. Ali's going to take care of the set up and everything. When you're ready we can go back and get ready for the first look."

I settled back between Ally's legs, back against her front as I watched the water, feeling more relaxed than I had all day, "I can't wait, you're going to look incredible."

"So are you Y/n/n."

Ally and I had decided to do the outfit reveals before the ceremony because I knew I wouldn't be able to control my emotions once I saw her. So here I was waiting anxiously for the love of my life to step around the corner. I was nervous about Ally's thoughts on my suit, but I was more anxious to finally see what Ally was wearing. Just as I was starting to get impatient, there she was. I froze, tears starting to fall instantly, I crouched down for a second, face buried in my hands to control the tears.

The sleeveless blue dress lined with lace, the black flats, her hair half up in a braid with the rest loose. She looked incredible, more breathtaking then I could have ever imagined. Ally stopped in front of me, small smile present with eyes shining with love and unshed tears. I took her hand, spinning her around so I could admire everything about her. Ally looked amazing on any given day, but today I was absolutely speechless.

"Y-y-yo-u-" I cut myself off, taking a deep breath to get myself together, "Y-you look breathtaking Ally, absolutely incredible. Holy shit."

Ally grinned, cupping my cheeks and connecting our lips. I heard protests about messing up Ally's make up, but I didn't care. Ally pulled away, this time being the one to take my hand and spin me around, she let out a long breath, making me slightly nervous, "Fuck you look stunning baby, my god you look incredible. I know it's probably out of your comfort zone, but you should definitely wear maroon more often, it is definitely your colour."

"I almost didn't choose it because it's not what I normally wear, but I decided to step out of my comfort zone for once."

Ally laced her fingers with mine, "I'm so proud of you love."

"Alright guys it's almost time to seal the deal so it's photo time," Alex interrupted as Ally was leaning in to kiss me.

I groaned pulling away, "You couldn't have waited 2 seconds? We already had photos."

"And have you ruin her make up? No, you can do that after the photos. You had photos of your reveal, we want proper couple photos."

---

It was time. It was time to marry the love of my life. Of course I was nervous, incredibly so, but as the time came to walk down the aisle, most of my nerves were replaced with excitement. I was about to marry my person and there was nothing in this world I wanted more. We had decided I was going to go first, purely for the reason that I was dying to watch her walk down aisle. There was no better way to do that, then be standing at the end already.

We had gone pretty simple with decorations. The aisle was made out of various coloured petals, lined with rows of chairs and a wooden arch draped with white fabric at the end. String lights were strung around the trees, fence and patio. The chairs would later be replaced by outdoor furniture and bean bags. Long tables for food and the bar were set up, as well as a smore station for when the firepit was lit. We had made sure to hire a bartender to stop anyone getting out of control.

Also, while we had hired a photographer, we also had a bunch of polaroid and disposable cameras for everyone to take their own photos. That way we had more intimate and fun memories. We had found a guest book that had mini envelopes and note cards so people could leave little messages if they chose to. The envelopes were the best idea knowing how inappropriate some of the team could be.

Dance with me in the rain In the heart of Spain Let your hair fall down Curl around your face And sway with the tide Of the strangers passing us by

My arm linked with Ali's, her squeezing mine gently. Our friends and family lined the sides, huge smiles and some with tears in their eyes. My heart warmed knowing they were willing to be here, that they cared enough to make plans last minute to see us get married.

Well let them watch What do we care There's no need to rush To come up for air As the world spins around us we dive In each other's eyes

No I don't want to go Can't seem to leave you alone For all that I am I wouldn't stand a chance This life on my own So love me now Love me forever Love me today and the days we're not together A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one The one my heart beats for

Land light on my feet To not make a peep Tip toe across the room So the floors don't creak As you're laying in bed Perfectly sound asleep I'll wake you with a kiss So you do not miss Your morning cup of coffee Pressed against your lips As the sun warms us up through the blinds We turn back the time

We stopped at the end, Ali kissing my cheek before walking back to her spot. I waited for a few seconds, trying not to fidget for once in my life. Every second that went by, made me want to walk back down grab her and drag her back because she was taking too long. Ally finally appeared, arm linked with her dad who had a huge, proud smile. There was a time in our relationship where I never thought he would be happy about us getting married. We had a rocky start, but now they were family. They had taken me in, treated me as if I was their own daughter. Between Ally, her family and the team, I had never been so loved.

They stopped in front of me, Ally's dad pulling her in for a hug and kiss on the cheek before moving to hug me, "You look amazing Y/n."

He moved back to his spot, while I took Ally's hands, kissing her cheek softly. We stood there, just looking at each other as the song came to an end. There was so much love shining in her eyes that it made my knees go weak.

So love me now Love me forever Love me today and the days we're not together A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one The one my heart beats for

We had chosen to have Sydney officiate our wedding just as she had with Ali and Ashlyn. It made the day feel just that little bit more personal. Once everyone was seated and quiet, Sydney started speaking.

"Thank you everyone for being here today to celebrate the marriage of our amazing Y/n and Ally. We all know Y/n gets antsy when she has to stand still for too long so we'll keep this as brief as possible. The relationship between Y/n and Ally is so full of love, life and friendship. It puts even the best of us to shame. With that being said, Y/n and Ally have chosen to write their own vows. Ally you're up."

"There are so many things I want to say to you, but we would be here all day if I did. So instead I'll start with thank you. Thank you for choosing me, for letting me in and trusting me with you and your heart. For trusting me enough to be your person and to show me who you are inside and out. With that, I vow to you that I will always tressure your love. I will always be by your side when you need me, I will always be there to hold you up when you need it and support you with everything I am. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you now and I will love you forever."

"Okay, you'll have to bare with me because there's no doubt I'm going to cry." There were a few laughs as Ally squeezed my hand. "There was a time in my life when I never thought this would happen for me. Where I never thought I would find someone who loves and trusts me so unconditionally, who understands me so deeply and who makes me laugh uncontrollably. Then you came crashing into my life, flipping it upside down in the best way possible.

"You are my world Ally, my everything. I am far from perfect, but I promise to always be open and honest even on days that aren't great, to always support you in everything you do, to make you smile and laugh even when you don't feel like it. I promise to hold you, cuddle you and kiss you every chance I get because I know how much you love it. Most importantly I promise to love you with everything I am everyday for the rest of our lives."

My voice cracked as I pulled her closer, cupping her cheek and kissing her forehead, "You are my partner in life and love. I love you beyond what words can describe, I love the person I have become with you and the life we have and will continue to build."

"Now the rings. Ally, do you take Y/n to be your wife?"

Ally smiled widely, "I do."

I slipped the ring on her finger before letting her take my hand, "Y/n, do you take Ally to be your wife?"

"I do."

Ally slipped the ring on my finger, kissing it after she did so. If even possible, my smile grew as I stopped myself from fidgeting with excitement. One final sentence and Ally would be my wife.

"It is my pleasure to pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

My arm wrapped around her waist, the other cupping her head as I dipped her, lips connecting in a long, passionate kiss. Everyone cheered and clapped as I threw my hands up, "We're married bitches!!"

---

"We would like to welcome the newlyweds to the floor for their first dance."

Ally looked confused, but let me take her hand and guide her to the dance floor. Just like Ali showed me, I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her against me and taking her hand in mine. Ally smiled, pecking my lips before resting her head on my shoulder as we moved around slowly. As we danced around, watched by our closest family and friends, I was the happiest I had ever been. To have so many people come to celebrate with us at last minute, I felt loved, possibly more than I ever had.

After a couple of minutes, I successfully spun Ally around, bringing her into me and connecting our lips. My head landed against Ally's shoulder, kissing the bare skin softly, "We're married Ally, we're actually married."

Ally giggled, kissing my temple, "Best day of my life so far. You learnt how to dance."

"You wanted to have a first dance so I got Ali to teach me. You make so many compromises for me, I wanted you to have this."

"This is how I know we'll be good married, you're so thoughtful and sweet, you go out of your comfort zone for me with out a second thought. I love you."

"I love you more my wife."

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #woso imagines #woso x reader

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quaranmine · 2 months

Text

The Incandescence of a Dying Light (Chapter Twelve; Final)

The after, and the end.

Chapter twelve: 7,050 words.

<< Chapter Eleven | Masterpost

Hi, thank you all so much for reading. I hope you like this chapter. I already know some of you will :)

No CW for this chapter. Trust me that I can’t do worse to you than the last chapter. This one will, of course, continue to reference events of the last chapter though so be prepared for more discussion of grief and death.

September 1989

It’s late afternoon when Grian walks down the trail, boots crunching softly on the leaves and gravel. His boots are rubbing his feet, despite the many miles he has walked this summer to break them in. He’s still wearing the old pair, battered and trashed as they are. It’ll be their last journey. It only feels right in the way it feels wrong. It’s like he’s slipping back into a part he played once that doesn’t quite fit anymore.

Still, the walking is meditative in its own way. One foot in front of the other, back and forth, every time.

He zones out so thoroughly that he’s almost, but not quite, surprised to realize he is already at his destination. He knows he’s at the end of the line because the last pitch is steep and rocky, with nothing but sky above him. There’s nowhere left to go but up, and reaching for the sky is what all fire lookouts do best.

Perhaps he expected this trail to be longer because the trail to Two Forks was. It took a full day of walking if he started incredibly early, and two days if he didn’t. He always seemed to fail to start early, except for that time with the firework idiots. This isn’t the trail to Two Forks, though.

Grian scrambles up the last portion of the trail, and sets his eyes on the prize at the end: the Thorofare lookout.

It’s not perched on a tower the way many classic lookouts are, rather it takes on a different blueprint that is common to many fire lookouts in the western US. It sits alone on top of a foundation of a heaping pile of granite rock. It doesn’t need a spiraling staircase to give it height above the trees; it’s already the highest point in the surrounding mountains.

For a random, silly moment, Grian wants to duck himself behind one of the rocks and hide. He wants to play spy for just a little while, and go back to being that unobtrusive observer in the forest that he was paid to be only weeks ago.

The lookout is fairly well kept. The siding has been painted recently, but the shingles are a little messed up, likely from the hail they’d received earlier in the summer. Grian smiles to himself, just slightly. That’s probably not something Scar can fix for himself, and it’s probably driving him crazy. He clearly cares a lot about keeping the building and its surroundings looking nice.

He should just…go to the door and knock, like a normal person.

He doesn’t. He just hangs back.

He’s not entirely sure why. Scar seems, by every encounter he’s ever had with him, an objectively friendly person. Perhaps even too friendly—a person who was willing to put up with Grian’s relentless, doomed quest and offer total support. And maybe that’s why he’s scared: because it’s always easier to reveal your whole soul anonymously, but putting a face to it is final.

He has to do this, though.

He rolls his shoulders, adjusting the weight of the pack—a new one—and anticipates dropping it at the door. Then, he steps out from behind the rock, walks to the door, and knocks on it.

There is an immediate yelp of shock from inside the cabin followed by the sound of something clearly being dropped, which Grian can’t help but snicker at.

“I’m uh, I’m—coming!” Scar says, with a hint of sing-song on the final word. Grian is struck by how clear his voice sounds, without the interference of many miles between them. Of course it would be, but still. He sounds just slightly different.

A second later the door is flung open, and Scar is there, right in front of him, leaning a little on the door frame. Standing there, right in front of him.

He’s taller than Grian, which he knew to expect but is still mildly annoyed by. He somehow looks nothing like, and exactly like, what Grian expected him to. His hair is light brown, and needs a good combing. It’s a little long in the back, since it’s probably been weeks or months since Scar got it trimmed. His eyes are green, and they contain just a touch of cockiness. He’s smiling at Grian, all bright teeth and good cheer, and the facial expression tugs slightly at a scar under his eye. That had been caused in the accident, if Grian recalls correctly.

“Well, hello there,” Scar says. “You startled me a little back there! We don’t get very many visitors to this fine establishment, but welcome! I’m the one who staffs this here Thorofare Lookout, so what can I help ya with?”

And Grian, embarrassingly, just stares at him.

The moment extends for an amount of time that is just edging into uncomfortableness. Grian can see it in the way Scar’s smile freezes a little on his face, like he’s gone from being genuinely friendly to just holding the expression in place for some weirdo tourist who has decided to come bother him out in the middle of nowhere.

Grian shakes his head, lifting himself out of the moment and back into reality. “Sorry,” he mutters quietly. “Sorry about that, I’m just—” He stops. Then, he extends his hand. “Hi Scar, I’m Grian.”

It’s Scar’s turn to stare now. The smile on his face melts away in shock, and his gaze flickers across Grian, giving him a once over. It makes Grian want to shrink back some in shyness.

Then he accepts Grian’s extended hand, and in one fluid motion uses it to yank him into a hug instead. It’s soft and warm.

Grian somehow didn't expect that, although he's probably received more hugs in the past two months than in the last two years, so this one shouldn't be that much of a surprise. It feels more important though, like it's communicating something left unsaid between them all summer.

"You had me so worried," Scar says to the top of Grian's head.

They pull away. Grian smiles sadly. "Sorry about that."

"What are you doing here?" Scar says.

“Ouch. Not even a hello?”

“Hi Grian,” Scar says, and immediately tacks on: “So what are you doing here? Not that—not that I don't appreciate it of course! You know, I just didn't expect—"

"I thought I'd come for a visit," he says. Then he adds, amused, "Can I come in?"

"Oh! Of course!"

Grian steps into the lookout, and it's organized chaos. He gets the distinct sense that Scar has too many belongings for such a small space, and that he has at the same time put great effort into decorating and turning it into a little home. The interior layout mostly matches his tower, with a few differences like the bed being in a different corner. There’s a notebook on the floor, which Scar quickly snatches and replaces it on the desk. That must have been what he dropped earlier when Grian knocked.

“Guess you weren’t expecting visitors?” he says.

Scar laughs. “No! You scared me!”

“Yeah, I was never expecting any hikers either,” Grian says. “I got visitors…just a few times? I think? And the one time I didn’t even see them coming, they just made it all the way up to the catwalk and knocked on the window.”

“Oh, that’s not even a bad one,” Scar says. “Once I had a hiker come in really late at night. So I just woke up to seeing a person literally trying to open the door in the dark. I thought I was gonna get robbed, or murdered, or—”

“Now I know how I should scare you next time,” Grian says, and Scar swats his arm.

“I think a lot of people don’t realize it’s inhabited,” Scar says. “Like, they think the cabin is empty so they get all the way up here and don’t realize someone’s there? I ended up letting that person crash on the floor in their sleeping bag. After I finished having a heart attack!”

“There aren’t many left that are still used, are there?” Grian asks.

Scar looks away a bit, eyes flitting over to the window by the desk where the mountains lay beyond, the ones he’s known for years. “Less each year,” he says. “I always wonder if each year’s my last one. Two Forks went inactive for several seasons. It’s just this year, after all those Yellowstone fires, that they hired more people. Like you!”

“But that funding won’t last.”

Scar shrugs. “They’ll forget about it again once the public forgets about it. Or once a new administration wants to do some cost-cutting and wonders why they’re paying so many people to go do nothing all day.”

Grian makes a noise of agreement. It goes without saying, of course, that the job isn’t only nothing. It’s a lot of nothing right up until sometimes it’s suddenly a lot of something. After that it’s hours of overtime, maps, math, weather, radio chatter, and monitoring fire.

It only took the briefest introduction to the job for Grian to realize it was like stepping into another world, and not one that would last for much longer. Manned lookouts would continue to have some advantages, of course. He and Scar could be a 24/7 relay to firefighters if needed. The job may not ever fully go away. But the more that things like satellites could be relied on, the less people they’d need to cover these vast networks of forest.

The wind whistles outside of the windows as they stand there. The sun’s angle throws little warm squares of light through the windows, checkering the floor of the cabin. It’s later in the year now, and the days are getting shorter. It’s still warm out during the day, but the lows at night are starting to get below freezing again. Scar won’t be asked to come back after October 1st, unless a really large fire breaks out again. There’s limited days left in this cabin.

The strangest part of it all is that they’re standing here together. He keeps throwing stray glances at Scar, hoping he won’t notice, as if he’s trying to verify that he’s really standing there.

Grian changes the subject slightly. “Do you have room for me to sleep tonight? Or is that offer only open to potential thieves in the night?”

Scar pretends to deliberate on this for a second. “Nah, I’m gonna make you sleep in a tent. On the rocks. In the wind! And the cold!”

“Rude,” Grian says. “Is this how you always treat your fri—guests?”

He backs out of the word at the last minute. It’s silly. Part of him wonders, though, if he messed up his chance with Scar. If he was too hurtful, or weird, or difficult to deal with. If it was easier to talk with him long-distance and not worth it face-to-face.

It doesn’t escape Scar’s notice. “Well,” he says, drawing the word out. “I guess I could make an exception for making sure a friend doesn’t freeze to death.”

“How could I ever expect to live up to that kind of hospitality,” he deadpans in return, matching Scar’s sarcasm even as tension trickles out of his shoulders.

They were both joking, of course, but Grian had packed his bag with everything he needed in case he got rejected. He’d been willing to sleep outside. Jimmy told him that was stupid, because there was no way Scar wouldn’t let him stay with him. Grian told him that may be true, but he was never going to set out on a hiking trail again without all his gear regardless. Jimmy got quiet after that and agreed.

“Maybe I’ll just make you do some chores,” Scar says. “Hey, I have an extra pair of binoculars—”

And like that, the ice is broken.

»»———-　　———-««

Hours later, it’s dark out.

They spend a pleasant afternoon and evening together, talking mostly about nothing at all. Intentionally talking about nothing at all, really. Grian guides them away each time the conversation turns, and Scar lets him like he doesn’t even notice.

Scar is an even better storyteller in person—for the first time, Grian’s able to see how he stops what he’s doing to pour every ounce of attention into his words. Scar fills him in on everything that’s happened since July.

“You know it’s a lot more boring without you, you know,” Scar says. “The replacement lookout didn’t dramatically steal anything? Jump out any windows?” “Not a single one, G-man!” he cries. “I mean really, how’s a man supposed to find any other entertainment out here? Nice lady, though. But she didn’t want to talk to me, she just told me she wanted to do her job. I think our supervisor might have warned her off me.” “You’re a bad influence,” Grian says. “I don’t blame her.” “I’ll have you know, I was rated Most Wholesome in high school.” “That did not happen. I don’t even think that’s even a real thing.”

He receives a mini tour of the lookout. It’s not a long tour because there isn’t much to see, but Grian pays rapt attention anyway. Scar tells him about his efforts to paint the siding earlier in the summer, and specifically the way someone had come specially to deliver him those supplies twice because it was the wrong product the first time.

He points out landmarks through the windows, and Grian gets to see some of the same mountains he spent so long watching from a new vantage point. He looks at the sunny south faces of all the mountains that were north of Two Forks tower.

There’s another new feature in the cabin that Scar has added, in the form of a high shelf above the windows and close to the ceiling.

“I built that so I could dry paintings without Jellie stepping all over them when they were wet,” Scar tells him after he catches Grian eyeing it. “How’d that work out for you?” he asks. “It’s the only place she wants to sleep now!” Scar groans. "Cats like high places, you know. Wait, is she around here? I haven’t seen her at all! I'd like to meet her." "I knew you'd be more excited to see my cat than me," Scar mutters. “She’s probably hiding under the bed.” Grian kneels on the floor and peers under the bed. Deep in the shadows in the corner, a pair of bright eyes look back at him, regarding him with suspicion. Her eyes are the same color as Scar's. He watches her for a moment, but she does not make any effort to come closer. He silently vows that he will manage to pet her before he leaves.

Scar also gives him a short demonstration of some of the paintings he’s made this year. He has a sketchbook full of little things—the trees further down the hill, an undulating column of smoke with all its curves, and a delightful series of cat sketches. There are some pages where Scar skips past quickly and refuses to show Grian. When he catches a glimpse of one, the drawings look just as good as the others, so Grian remains unsure what exactly was wrong with them.

Just as impressive are his oils and watercolors. He’s made a bunch this summer—Scar claims it’s actually bad because he’s done less than usual, which Grian can’t really comprehend—and most of them are small studies.

“I want to capture more movement and texture and color and life,” Scar tells him. “The smaller pieces of paper make it so that I can’t get too hung up on details!” Grian nods along. “The Impressionists did that, you know,” Scar starts, and Grian gratefully settles back in to listen to another tangent while he thumbs through little brightly painted cards, each one more impressive than the last.

Now it’s getting late, and they’re sitting out on the catwalk together, backs against the cabin. There’s a very cold bite to the air, but the stars are pretty regardless. No clouds at all tonight, in fact, and a waning moon shining gently. The lights in the lookout are turned off, and as his eyes adjust he can start to see the outlines of the distant mountains.

Grian has two cans of beer he picked up at a gas station somewhere along the way, and gives one to Scar. It’s not a brand he recognizes, so maybe it’s from some local or state-specific brewery. Scar brings a blanket out on the deck for each of them. The cold air seeps up between the cracks in the boards they’re sitting on, but he’s cozy nonetheless.

“I wish you could’ve been down here back when the meteor shower was going,” Scar says.

“Meteor shower?” he asks.

“Yeah. It’s, uh, I don’t know. Every year at the end of summer. It’s nice to be out here ‘cause you can see so many stars at night.”

“I bet that was nice,” Grian says. “I wish I was there.”

They lapse into silence for a few minutes, just sipping on the drinks. The stars twinkle far above him, the furthest so faint that he can hardly tell if he’s really seeing them or not. He absently wishes he learned more constellations, since he can’t recognize any right now. He’s going to miss being able to see so many stars.

When he turns to face Scar again, his expression is stormy. Grian goes still. Scar fiddles with the edge of his blanket and doesn’t meet his eye. He can’t tell if he looks angry, or just upset, but either combination of those makes his stomach turn. Grian waits though. They’ve waited long enough today.

"After all…of that," Scar starts finally, neatly sidestepping any discussion of what all of that actually was, "I didn't hear from you again. At all."

Grian lets that settle in for a moment. "I know," he responds finally. "I’m sorry. That's why I came here."

"I mean," Scar continues, voice growing stronger, "I knew you weren't dead because it was all over the radio traffic. I was monitoring the communications with the hotshot crew. I hear about—” he gestures with his hand “—all that, with the fire and helicopter. And our supervisor took pity on me and told me some of the details afterward.”

“And it was on the news.”

Grian knows the story was run on a few American and British outlets. He avoided the TV, and the paper, for a while afterward, but it doesn’t take the press long to get bored. Mumbo’s death was barely a blip in the news cycle. It was a dramatic story, but not that dramatic. It doesn’t matter if it will haunt Grian for the rest of his life; the average person wouldn’t remember reading about it after a week. “Missing British Expat Found Dead in American Wilderness One Year Later.” He grimaces even at the mere thought of it.

“That too. Not that I get much of that up here.” His voice is clipped. Hurt. With good reason, really, but—

Truthfully, Grian didn’t quite think to contact Scar until later. Everything after he was evacuated from the forest was a blur of activity that made his head spin, and he wasn’t in the best of shape at the time. The helicopter had taken him directly to the hospital in town, and they’d kept him for three days. They evaluated his ankle, which was only a grade 1 sprain that had been aggravated by his constant movement. They treated him for severe dehydration. They evaluated his lungs and airways. Mostly, though, they focused on his burns.

Grian was lucky, all things considered, regardless of if he felt that way or not. He lived when he could have very easily died. He’d been in a rocky area that burned fast and had little tinder, with the boulder next to him to act as a heat sink. He’d been stuck in a finger of the fire near the edge, so it had burned over quickly. He hadn't ever caught on fire himself. He’d kept his nose and mouth protected and close to the ground. His clothing had protected most of his body, but wearing a t-shirt meant his arms had been bare and he’d used his hands to cover his head. They fared the worst.

Grian thought the hand was perhaps the most annoying place to receive a burn, with the painful way he struggled to do anything, especially writing, for a few weeks. But it hadn’t been very severe. It could have been worse. He got to go home, and monitor his recovery from there.

He answered a million questions over the days following the incident. He spoke to rangers, search and rescue, fire crew members, and the police. He was scolded for stealing documents, but the words held little bite or legal weight. They had other copies available, after all. They asked him to pay a small fine. The rangers’ eyes looked sympathetic. Perhaps they felt he suffered enough, or perhaps it was the fact that this confrontation took place in the hospital room.

He called Mumbo’s parents again the morning after he woke up again.

And then when he sat in the hospital on the second night, waiting for Mumbo’s parents and his own mum to arrive, he pulled out his radio again and charged it. Once it came back on though, he realized it couldn’t do anything for him anymore. It was still set to the frequency he and Scar always spoke on, but now there were new voices speaking on it.

Of course they didn’t own the frequency, it was just a national talk frequency. They’d always just carved privacy out of the sheer remoteness surrounding them. Now, he was simply too far out of that limited range and was picking up more nearby conversations instead.

“I’m sorry,” Grian says. “I didn’t have a radio to reach you with. It was out of range as soon as I left the forest.”

“I have a phone.”

“I didn’t know the number,” he says after a moment. They’d only ever spoken over the radio when he was a lookout. Then, he tacks on jokingly: “I also don’t really think the agency wants to foot the bill for international calls.”

Scar scrunches his eyes shut for just a moment. “It hurt a lot,” he says. “That day—when I think of it, it’s so….I just—I was just worried about you. I was…”

“Scared?” Grian offers.

Scar nods, and Grian feels something horrible wash over him, a guilt that makes him want to walk straight off the catwalk into the dark. He tries to place himself there for a moment, on that evening, but this time from the inside of this lookout. Scar could see the fire from his tower. He’d been desperately trying to save him with no way to interfere on his own. Helpless. He listened to Grian say things. Worrying things. He saw the fire’s movement, where it spread, and how fast it spread.

When Grian’s radio died, he must have felt like he was watching him die.

“It’s okay,” he says, speaking all in a rush. “It’s okay, I—I’m fine. See? I got out of there, and now I’m here. I’m sorry, I came to say I’m sorry. I’m okay.”

Scar tilts his head skeptically. “Are you? Because…”

Suddenly, Grian’s eyes well up with tears. The mere question is enough to crack his veneer of coping. He casts his eyes away and blinks fast, trying to keep them at bay. Scar has heard him cry, but never seen him cry, which is somehow more embarrassing.

“No,” he says. “I don’t think I really am.”

Scar doesn’t ask him any questions, he just puts his arm around him. The warm weight of it grounds him like a comfort. For every time Grian was convinced he could do it all by himself, there was another time that he just wanted it to be like this: a person who cares. He ducks his head down, and lets the tears drip across his cheeks and into his lap. He isn’t sobbing; it’s a quiet cry.

Eventually, he simply whispers, “I’m just so tired.”

“I get that,” Scar agrees.

“Everything’s just…too much,” he says. “I’m—”

One step from losing it all?

One missed breath from drowning?

“It just feels like the beginning again,” he finishes instead.

“The beginning?” Scar inquires.

“Like I haven’t figured it out. But last time I had hope, I guess. I thought it could be fixed. It hurt but I thought it could still work out in the end. I need it to work out and be okay. And now it can’t. It’s not ever going to be okay. And I don’t know what to do with that.”

There are lows Grian has felt in the last few weeks that he doesn’t want to share with anyone. That’s part of the problem, though. His life is everyone’s concern now and he’s being treated like glass by all his friends. They mean well, of course. They may even be wise for it. But people know what happened. They just can’t know how it felt.

He tries to remember they’re upset too. They’re also grieving. But they’re not the ones who have to leave the kitchen in a panic for a bit of fresh air whenever something burns in the oven.

He wants nothing more than to be left alone. He knows what it’s like to be alone after this year, and it’s familiar. And yet, he also wants nothing more than this—to be hugged, and comforted, by someone else who can do a little reasoning for him.

It’s hard to feel like anything matters right now. He dedicated all his time to finding Mumbo. He shaped his ideas, his time, and his relationships with people around the belief that Mumbo was alive—and was wrong. So what’s the point? Where’s he supposed to go now? What’s he supposed to do?

He doesn’t know.

Scar hugs him a little closer. “It’s not okay. It won’t be. But maybe eventually you’ll start filling in things around it.”

“Like you did?” Grian says, a little sharper than intended. “Isolating yourself for years in the middle of nowhere? That didn’t work for me, in case you didn’t notice.”

“No,” he responds slowly, “like I did by being reminded of the good memories, picking up art, getting a cat, trying new jobs, looking at pretty sunsets, and meeting new friends. See! Small steps first.” He lets go of Grian, and pats his shoulder. “You can do it.”

“I don’t want to do that,” Grian says.

“I kind of think you do.”

“I don’t though,” he says sourly, “because I—I already do, and I hate it. Sometimes I feel relieved. And I don’t want to. I don’t want to be relieved. My friend is dead.”

“Why’re you relieved?” Scar asks.

“Because—because it’s just. Over, maybe. Because I finally know the answers. Because it’s horrible but at least I don’t have to wonder anymore.”

The what-ifs used to plague him constantly. They were an ever-changing carousel of worst case scenarios that danced around his head. Now, something different plagues him. But the truth doesn’t change. It just is.

“Hm.” Scar pauses for a second. “Well, you figured out what happened. You found him. You can put it to rest now. It’s okay to do that.”

“But—”

Scar interrupts. “You’re not forgetting him, you know? That’s not what it means to move on. There’s a lot of people out there who don’t have anyone to believe in them. Mumbo had you. And you did good.”

And Grian doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t. He just sits there and lets the thought swirl around and around his head. Scar lets him. The two don’t speak.

He did good. Did he?

It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel good to be hell-bent on saving your best friend only to find his body. It doesn’t feel good to fail so thoroughly from the goal you set. It doesn’t feel good to be the only one left in something that was special. He has so many memories with Mumbo. Now he’s their sole keeper, the only one left to carry that knowledge.

But he did succeed, in a way. Mumbo might have been lost forever out there. Some people never do get found. He brought Mumbo home, back to his family, and back to a place with respect. Where he could be buried.

He breaks it down in his mind, over and over, like maybe he can polish away all the sharp edges like a rock in the river. Maybe it’s okay to let the sharp edges go away. The heavy weight of it remains. Maybe it doesn’t have to cut his hands every time, though.

Eventually he takes a deep breath and sits back up.

“Sorry about all that,” he mutters, as he hastily wipes the tears from his eyes.

“No,” Scar says.

“No?”

“Don’t say that, don’t apologize for crying. It’s okay!” Scar says. “If anything, I’m sorry I didn’t help you more back then, or—”

“No,” Grian says this time.

“Oh,” Scar says. “No?”

“No,” he repeats.

“Okay.”

“So that’s out of the way, then,” Grian says, breaking into a watery half smile. “No more apologies.”

“I guess so,” Scar says.

Grian sighs. “I just don’t know what to do now. What do I do next? You…you managed to do it.”

Finding Mumbo was a year-long priority. Without it, he can’t seem to figure out the structure of his life. He never thought this far ahead. He only thought about what it would be like when it was all okay—not about what he planned to do when it wasn’t okay. Now he’s falling through his own cracks.

“That’s an easy one,” Scar says. “You’ve got a lot of houses to draw!”

“We call it drafting.”

“Drafting then,” Scar nods. “Go forth and draft some buildings.”

Grian tips his head back, looking at the stars. “I don’t know if I want to do that anymore.”

“Oh! You don’t have to,” Scar says. “I know you liked the job, but you don’t have to go back to it. You can do something else too. You can do whatever. Or even nothing.”

“I don’t want to do anything else, that’s the problem,” Grian says. “I just—ugh.”

He still likes architecture. He literally can’t turn it off in his brain, the way his eyes catch on the details of buildings when he travels past them, equal in praise and criticism for it. He doesn’t know if he has a place in that career anymore, though. Maybe he can’t do it anymore. Maybe he doesn’t remember how.

“You have time to figure it out. You even have the rest of your life to keep trying things out!” Scar says. “Why do you think I’m always seeing new places and doing these seasonal jobs? And if you want to go back to it you can. It doesn’t have to be now though. It can be whenever.”

For the first time in a long time, Grian feels a little spark of something about his future. It’s a little flame and it will need to be nurtured. He cups it close in his mind, trying to peer through its light. There’s no plan, just a glimmer of something that doesn’t sound too bad.

Every time he thinks about what to do next, he’s locked in decision paralysis. Mostly, he just wants to sleep and not have to deal with it. He has already tried that method, and while it doesn’t work well, it does eliminate the thoughts temporarily. The nothingness is comforting, even though he never feels better afterward. He wants this to all go away, but day after day since Mumbo first went missing that has been proven impossible.

But sometimes one of his friends comes along to drag him out of his room and onto the streets of London, and more times than not he finds himself enjoying it. He finds himself, even for just a moment, living in that reality instead. Is it so bad, to want that a little?

Like it always does, the guilt comes stalking back in behind the thought. He lived, Mumbo did not. Mumbo deserved to live. Grian did nothing spectacular, nothing out of the ordinary, to deserve to have this life that was robbed from his friend. It eats at him, cutting holes in the very fabric of his being. He lets the thought settle in the corner of his mind, like he always does, but he doesn’t dismiss the hope either. Not this time. He holds them both at once.

Then, his thoughts are interrupted by gentle, tentative paw steps on the edge of the blanket.

“Oh my goodness,” Scar says. “Jellie finally decided to come say hi!”

Grian watches her carefully from the corner of his eye, and dares not move an inch. Scar had left the door cracked when they came out here on the catwalk, so Jellie must have decided to explore a little. And now she’s slowly crawling over toward him. She’s a classic gray tabby cat with a white chest, paws, and blaze. She sniffs Grian’s hand with great contemplation, before carefully stepping over his arm and sitting on his lap.

“Oh!” he exclaims softly.

Scar silently fist-bumps the air. “Yes!” he says. “She likes you! I knew she would!”

“Can I pet her?”

“Of course,” Scar says. “That’s why she’s on your lap! Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out if she doesn’t want to be pet anymore.”

“By biting me, I’m sure.”

“Uh,” he says, “no comment.”

Grian gently strokes the striped fur along her back. It’s soft and short. It’s been a while since he owned his own cat, but he likes them. He wanted to get one, but their apartment in Denver hadn’t allowed animals, so the last cat he had was one back in England that passed away while he was in university. Maybe he’ll get a new cat when he goes back. Jellie is a dignified cat, the type of animal who looks at you and possesses an uncanny type of intelligence in their eyes. He honestly feels honored that she decided she liked him enough to sleep on his lap.

After a moment, she starts to purr.

Scar is watching the two of them with a funny look on his face. Or rather, after a moment, Grian realizes that Scar is actually watching his hands.

“You got burned,” he says, like he’s only just now noticing it.

His hands still. The second-degree burns had already healed in the weeks since the fire, but the skin on the back of his hand was still pink and patchy-looking. Healed, but only just, with the potential of any long-term scarring still up in the air. Jellie senses that he’s stopped petting her, and moves her head to push his hand until he resumes the motion. He does. Demanding cat.

“Yeah,” Grian responds simply.

Scar puts his head in his hands. “I should have directed you better—if I knew better, or—then maybe you wouldn’t have gotten hurt—”

“Hey, no,” Grian says. “That was…that was all me, Scar. I got into that situation myself. I was…I probably would have stayed put if it weren’t for you, honestly. You saved me.”

Scar looks up again. “Really?” he asks.

“I wouldn’t have got out of there,” he says softly. “And, really, I would have never found Mumbo if it weren’t for your help. Thank you for that. I know I…got mad at you, that day, but really. I, uh, do mean it. Thank you.”

“Oh,” Scar says. “That was—something I couldn’t imagine not doing.” He’s quiet for a moment, thinking. Grian for once can see this in the expression on his face, rather than the silence through the radio. He waits. Finally Scar asks: “Did they—did they ever find out what happened?”

That’s the big question, isn’t it? That’s been the big question this whole time. And for all the effort that Grian went to in order to find Mumbo, it wasn’t one he could fully answer on his own. That was for the rangers and the medical examiner.

He begins, “They found him, based on your map skills I’m sure. Um, recovered his body. Made a real identification. Not that I—not that I was going to be wrong. I just knew. They used dental records I think.”

He keeps petting Jellie.

“They don’t just—they don’t just send him home right away. They had to figure out what happened first. For his death certificate. Or maybe their records. Or maybe for us. But they did an autopsy—which was part of the identification I think.”

“What’d it say?” Scar asks.

It’s a long moment before Grian responds. “He probably died of dehydration. Which meant it probably only took a few days. They don’t think he had any water on him. They think maybe he’d been headed to the creek—” like I was, but he doesn’t say it. He continues. “He had a fracture in his leg. They think that’s why he was stuck there.”

“Awful,” Scar says softly.

“He was probably dead before the first week of the search was done.” Grian shakes his head sharply to dispel the thought. “Anyway, uh. They flew him back to England. We buried him. Had a funeral. It was really nice, actually.”

There was just so much happening at the funeral that it’s a blur in his mind. He was still receiving treatment for his burns and had everything wrapped. He was still having trouble sleeping. He felt like a shell of a fake person being forced to interact with the real people. The funeral was wonderful, affirming, and full of people he hadn’t seen in years. People who’d loved Mumbo, too. But it was also deeply overwhelming.

“You were in England this whole time then?” Scar says. “‘Cause you said something about international calls earlier.”

Grian nods. “Yeah. I went back a week after all of it happened. Stayed there, with my family.”

“But you came back here.”

“I had to,” he says, trying to force some brightness into his words. “Couldn’t just leave you all alone without saying goodbye.”

Scar reaches out a hand, and scratches Jellie under the chin. She purrs harder. He says, “Why’s it have to be goodbye?”

“Scar.”

“I know,” he says miserably. “I know.”

This isn’t his home, and it especially isn’t without Mumbo. Grian had followed him here, and now that he was gone, there wasn’t any reason to stay. Well—not a good reason. He’d be lying if he said this wasn’t breaking his heart too.

“I have things I have to wrap up here,” Grian says. “Stuff like our apartment. Those things need to be packed up and shipped back. And I need to sell my car. It’s all tedious stuff. Two of my other friends came with me to help me so I didn’t have to do it all by myself.”

“Your friends came? And you didn’t bring them to meet me?” Scar says in an exaggeratedly scandalized tone.

Grian smiles a little, and looks over at Scar. “It was private.”

He’d left Jimmy and Martyn in a cabin just outside of town. They’d been gracious enough to allow him to take a detour on their trip just to come here. None of his friends were very keen on questioning him these past few weeks. Sometimes he hated it, and wished they just treated him normally. Other times he was grateful they spared him any need to explain.

Then, he abruptly remembers. “Wait,” he says. “I had something for you. I would get it but…” He gestures at Jellie, who is not planning on letting him stand up any time soon.

“You’re cat-trapped,” Scar says. “Where is it?”

“The outer pocket of my bag. It’s a piece of paper.” Then he adds, “Don’t look at it until you get back out here!”

Scar steps gently over Grian, and disappears into the lookout for a moment. It’s dark and silent outside, except for the constant purr from Jellie that seems to radiate through his body. Then, just as fast, Scar is back and settling back down onto the catwalk boards. In his hand is a battered piece of yellow lined paper, singed on one edge.

“You can unfold it now,” Grian says, and Scar does.

He has to squint to appreciate it in the dim moonlight, but once he sees it recognition snaps across his face like lightning.

“This is my lookout,” Scar says, and then turns to look at Grian with wide eyes. “Wait, you actually drew it when I said so.”

Grian’s face heats up, and he glances away. “I…thought that maybe you should have it. As a thank you.”

“I love it,” Scar says. “It looks amazing.”

“Sorry it isn’t in better condition,” he says. “It was in my bag that got left behind. The rangers retrieved it along with…they mailed the stuff they found back to me, afterward. So I brought it here to you.”

“I think it’s in perfect condition,” Scar says. “It makes it real.” Then, he beams. “I’m going to hang this in the cabin. Frame it, maybe.”

Grian groans. “It isn’t that good,” he says.

“It should be on display!”

“Please, no,” Grian says.

“I guess you’ll just have to come again next year so I can prove you wrong. You won’t know what hit you when you see how good this looks framed,” Scar declares. Then he adds, softer. “You can come again, you know. You can always come back.”

“I’ll come back. I hope so,” Grian says. “After all, I’ve got the rest of my life to do it.”

»»———-　　———-««

Grian leaves the lookout the next morning, a little before midday. The day is bright and sunny and cloudless. In his bag are two new items: a pair of rolled up mini paintings, and Scar’s contact information penciled on a piece of paper.

He walks forward, one foot in front of the other, just like always.

<< Chapter Eleven | Masterpost

#grian #goodtimeswithscar #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanfic #hermitcraft au #quara fanfic #hc_firewatch_au #SOBS AS I POST THE LAST CHAPTER ;-; ily guys

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thesoftestirises · 2 years

Text

always, forever - one.

♡ pairing: steven x reader ♡ rating : 18+ (smut in part 2) ♡ word count : 6k ♡ warnings : age gap relationship (the characters are both well into adulthood, but it is a ten year difference). this shit rated t for THERAPY! steven’s gonna make you feel good about yourself whether or not you’re ready for it! ooc steven - rewritten to fit the au parameters. ♡ summary : Steven is a veteran journalist with a thirst to do the right thing. You’re his insecure cameraperson. The two of you fall in love slowly, then all at once. ♡ an : reupload, last one kept crashing. this is a two part miniseries.

“Newbie!”

You sighed, setting your pen back in your cup and turning around in your swivel chair. You’d been at this job for at least seven months, but you were still getting called ‘newbie’ by the editor in chief. You briefly wondered if he even knew your name. It wouldn’t surprise you if he didn’t.

Gold Standard Reporting, the organization you worked for, was known to push their employees harder than any other news company. Which was really saying something, because most journalists worked crazy hours. But GSR, being a newer company with fewer employees, had more tasks to do spread out over fewer people. No one had time to really fraternize, especially not the editor in chief, Ken Damiani. But you loved it there anyways. You were constantly surrounded by the best and the brightest, rubbing elbows with people who were working on groundbreaking investigative journalism. You often felt unqualified to even be there. Every day you half expected them to realize their mistake and fire you.

Ken Damiani was hunched forward in his chair when you arrived at his door, playing with a stress ball while speaking to the person across from him. His expression was serious, but there was a spark of excitement in his eyes and a quirk of a smile on his lips. It was the first time you’d ever seen him look pleased.

He turned to you as you entered and gestured for you to sit down. You took a seat next to the stranger, who you quickly realized was Steven Grant of CNN. Your eyes widened in surprise, which he seemed to notice. He smiled politely and reached out for a handshake, which you responded to after an awkward beat. Steven’s cordial smile melted into one of genuine amusement, barely stifling a chuckle at the expression on your face.

“Steven, this is Y/N. She was the most recent addition to the GSR family,” Ken said, gesturing to you while not making eye contact. Steven nodded to you in acknowledgement, studying your face as if he was trying to commit you to his memory. “If it behooves you, she can act as your videographer. Her technical skill is very good.”

You looked between the two men in front of you in confusion. Steven’s videographer? Surely he had a team of those back at CNN. Ones who were way better than you, like ones who had actually graduated with a degree in journalism from a good college. Also, ‘behooves’? Who still talked like that?

“That would be great, if Y/N wouldn’t mind?” Steven asked, turning the question over to you. Had you not been focused on other things, you probably would have taken more time to appreciate how he gave you the space to say no.

“I’m sorry, I think I’m just missing some context. I thought he worked at CNN? Is he allowed to do this?” You asked.

“I’ve actually parted ways with CNN,” Steven said, clasping his hands together and bringing them over his knee. “Our goals were no longer in alignment.”

“Really? What was the final straw?” You asked.

Steven pursed his lips, as if he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to answer.

“None of that now, Steven doesn’t have time to be questioned,” Ken said, waving a hand dismissively. “Now, what are you doing next week? Do you have any assignments?”

“Uh, a piece on the new cat cafe craze in Newport-”

“Okay, so nothing important. Listen, all the other videographers are busy, and Steven was just talking to me about a potential debut piece by him for GSR.”

Steven’s idea was to create a series on the growing divide between Americans. He called it ‘Hate thy Neighbor’. He wanted to create a space for people to tell their own stories and hopefully, bridge the gap after understanding one another. You thought the idea was overly ambitious, but if Steven was the one at the helm, you could see it becoming something worthwhile.

He invited you to get tea with him to further discuss the plans, which was surprisingly friendly of a guy who was so much more important than you it was comical. Steven had a Peabody award, for fuck’s sake.

You looked over at him while he casually stirred sugar into his drink. Beyond just being an incredible journalist with integrity, Steven was the most beautiful man to ever be in the news circuit. He was not only a trusted face with the most mesmerizing accent, but one of America’s favorite sex symbols. You were realizing now that the cameras at CNN had never been able to fully capture how blindingly gorgeous he was. His dark curls, his warm brown eyes, the way his button down struggled to conceal the size of his biceps. He was godly.

He raised an eyebrow when he noticed you staring. You immediately felt your face heat up and looked down, suddenly taking an unnatural interest in your own cup of tea. You considered breaking the awkward silence, but you weren’t really sure what to say. He took pity on you, and spoke up instead.

He cleared his throat and took his spoon out of his tea, laying it onto a napkin he had neatly folded on the table. “So, Y/N. Where are you from?”

“Um, Wisconsin, actually,” you said, picking at a loose thread on your cardigan.

“Did you like it there?”

“Not at all,” you said without hesitation.

Steven gave you that patented single eyebrow lift, which you were quickly realizing could get anyone to keep talking. It was probably why he was such a good journalist.

“I just don’t have great memories associated with that place. I’m much happier here. Big city, lots of people.”

“Were you from a small town?”

“I’d say it was more of a suburb. It was called Ives, about thirty minutes north of Madison.”

“Interesting. Do you go back often?”

“Once a year for the holiday season,” you said, crossing your legs underneath the table. “I try to avoid it, with the cost of airfare and all.”

“Not because of the negative memories?”

You blinked at him. “That’s part of the reason why I stay away, but it really is an expensive endeavor to go back. I’m not making a ton of money as a journalist, believe it or not.”

Steven chuckled lightly at that, the laughter lines around his eyes beginning to make an appearance. “Fair enough.”

“What about you?” You asked. “How often do you go home?”

“Not as often as I’d like,” Steven said, sincerity coloring his tone. He rested his arms on the table and leaned in. “My family is always busy. But I do miss them and I enjoy my time at home.”

You thought it was fascinating how he side stepped his family history and made himself sound so normal. The Grant family name was well known, even in America. They were heirs to a massive fortune from early investments into oil and telecommunications. Practically royalty. Steven probably could have gone his whole life without ever working, and yet he went ahead and hid his identity to apply to work as a correspondent for CNN. It took a few months before the cat was let out of the bag, but he had already proven he was there for his skill, not his surname.

“You seem nervous,” he said.

“I am, you’re a big deal,” you mumbled, taking a sip of your still piping hot drink just to avoid staring into his intimidating gaze. You could feel your tastebuds burning and your brain screaming in protest at the pain. How could you, a journalist, be so poor at communicating?

“We’re coworkers now,” he said earnestly. “We’re on the same level. If this all goes well, I suspect we’ll be partners for a while.”

“You haven’t seen my work before,” you said, chuckling self deprecatingly as you moved your mug around in a circle mindlessly, watching the liquid inside swirl. “You might hate it.”

“I have seen your work, actually. When I was doing my original research into GSR, I saw some pieces you’d worked on. I understand videography wasn’t what you joined GSR to do, but you have remarkable style. The way you do cuts in interviews is almost more appropriate for movies. You make any story seem riveting. That’s why I immediately accepted,” Steven said, pausing to check if his tea was still too hot to drink. “I suppose you could call me a fan.”

“What?” You gasped, then winced at your own unexpected outburst. You were supposed to internalize that.

Steven smiled, and reached across the table to place his hand over yours. God, you sure hoped he couldn’t feel how sweaty your palm was from the top of your hand. “I hope that by the end of our trial run that I can teach you to be a little more confident. You’re very talented.”

You tried to search for something appropriate to say after a compliment as heavy as that, but you fell blank. Honestly, you’d never felt so validated in your life, and Steven had known you for a grand total of maybe two hours. “I’m sincerely, really thankful. I hope I’m worthy of the praise.”

“You already are, Y/N. No need to thank me for stating the obvious.”

He removed his hand from yours, but the warmth remained.

“So, as we discussed earlier regarding the project...”

Today was day one of being on the road. Well, it was a trial run close to home, so technically you weren’t going far at all. You even got to go back to your apartment and sleep in your own bed after the day’s work had been done and Steven dropped you off at home. He had suggested that you two carpool once he picked up on the fact that you had a clunker for a vehicle and you were a little terrified to drive it. He had insisted in spite of your protests and scheduled a pickup time. You were too shy to tell him how much you appreciated it.

“Are they really going to do it? Protest in the National Mall?” You asked, flipping through the pages of notes Steven had made on the group you were interviewing.

“You don’t think they’ll go through with it?”

“I don’t think the overwhelmingly liberal residents of D.C. will let them.”

You were still nervous around Steven, but he was shockingly nonjudgmental and you found yourself rapidly warming up to him. At least now you could talk to him without shaking like a leaf the way you did the first time.

“They’ll get yelled at the whole way through the streets. It doesn’t seem very safe,” you said, shrugging.

“Perhaps they believe in their message, however foolish it may seem to us, and they’re willing to risk their safety in order to speak out,” he said, briefly taking his eyes off the road to look at you.

“I can’t understand it,” you said, shaking your head. You turned to face Steven’s side profile, tracing your gaze down the curve of his nose. “You think they’ll take offense? To us?”

“Maybe, maybe not. They did grant us an interview, though, so they can’t be too hostile. I often find that people are much less combative when faced with a camera.”

“I did mean to ask, by the way. Why are you dressed so casually?”

You had dressed as you normally did for interviews, pressed slacks and a blouse. Steven, on the other hand, had opted to go in dark wash jeans and a maroon shirt. He looked devastatingly handsome, like boyfriend material. But he always looked like that to you.

“I wanted to try and level with them as much as possible. Make them feel less like a spectacle,” he explained. “GSR is also very lax with their dress code and I wanted to take advantage of that. I was thinking of dyeing my hair something fun too, what do you think?”

You giggled when he turned to look at you, a bright smile lighting up his face at his own joke. “I think you would look good in pastel pink.”

“Hm, maybe that would be a stretch. Brown?”

You paused and considered it, considered him. Steven was ridiculously handsome, as you often mused to yourself. He had a classically handsome face, like a golden age Hollywood star. He could probably do anything to his appearance and still look like a dream. A few rays of sunlight passed through the window and filtered through his curls as he glanced over to his right to check for cars. The light turned the hair at the top of his head a warm brown, colored with red and orange. He looked over at you as you stared at him, giving you a questioning expression.

“Your hair is perfect as it is.”

He blinked, but quickly recovered. “Thank you, Miss Y/N.”

You cleared your throat and looked out at the road as you thought of things to say to fill the silence.

“Do you have your questions prepared?” You asked.

“No, I never write questions out,” he said as he flipped on his turn signal and switched lanes.

“What?”

“I don’t believe it’s a good method of interviewing. If you prepare questions, you’ll feel obligated to get them all answered. So instead, I just do enough research to hold a conversation and let the person I’m interviewing talk. It’s their story, after all. That’s what this is about, you know? Informing and bringing people together.”

“But what if they lie to you? Or try to take you off from the story that was meant to be told?”

“That’s where my problem with CNN stemmed from. They let people lie and take us off track from the real issues all the time for the sake of ratings. Now? You and I can simply not air the interview at all,” he said simply, glancing quickly at you before focusing back on the road. “Don’t worry, though. These people aren’t politicians, they won’t pull those kinds of tricks on us. And if they do, I believe the two of us can handle it.”

You appreciated that he kept referring to the two of you as “we”, constantly reminding you that this was a partner project to him. It wasn’t just Steven, nor was it Steven and friends. It was Steven and Y/N. You also appreciated the amount of faith he was putting into you, allowing you to make a lot of calls on your own regarding b roll footage. He said he trusted you to convey the story visually, and he was personally more concerned with his own ability to perform to standard.

“We’re almost there. Are you ready?” He asked as the two of you were halted at a stop light.

Your lips curved up and you nodded. “Yes.”

The first story had gone viral.

Steven’s patience during the interviewing process had made one interviewee change their mind mid interview, and the entire thing had been caught on camera. That clip alone was shared over ten thousand times on Twitter and reached 2.6 million views on YouTube in the first two days. The full hour long special had 800,000 hits by the end of the first week. You refreshed it every few hours to see the numbers go up. It was wholly unexpected and even Steven seemed surprised by the success.

The story itself was one that had been well put together, focusing on the people and the build up to the protest, and had some pretty excellent visuals, if you do say so yourself. Steven said it was everything he’d dreamed the first episode would be and more, and he was really excited when GSR greenlit the two of you for a series.

He’d asked you to come get dinner with him as a celebration for, well, everything. You’d tried to decline, but Steven seemed to understand the line between you not wanting to do something and you fearing that you were a burden. He ignored you and made reservations for two at a nice restaurant close to your workplace so that you two could head over directly after work.

The sky was dark gray and rain had been coming down in slow, fat drops. Not quite enough to call for an umbrella, yet Steven was using one anyways. You had run off ahead of him to try and catch as many drops in the palm of your hand as possible, a game you’d picked up during childhood and hadn’t dropped since.

“What are you doing?” He laughed, beckoning you to come back under the safety of his bright red umbrella.

“Having a good time, spoilsport,” you said. “Put that thing down, this is hardly even a drizzle!”

Steven rolled his eyes, but closed the umbrella and stuffed it into his work tote. He quickened his pace and caught up to you. “You seem like you’re in a good mood.”

“I love this kind of weather,” you said, looking up to the sky and wrinkling your nose as you caught a droplet on the tip of it. Steven snorted at the expression on your face as you attempted to look at the raindrop before wiping it off.

“Why’s this your favorite kind of weather?”

“I think the gray highlights other colors. Makes stuff really pop out, like grass or your red umbrella. It’s not torrential enough to be dangerous, but it’s just enough to feed the planets and animals. Plus, it’s still warm out,” you told him. Upon his silence, you glanced over at him and moved a little slower when you noticed he was just watching you with an unreadable look in his eyes. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy that you’re happy,” he said, smiling at you.

You felt your own lips tugging up at his honest admission, and turned your head away to look at the city view in front of you. The lights and the sounds were something that you’d grown used to over time, but sometimes it was nice to stop and stare at the architecture and the people. It was so easy to get caught up in all the negativity of the world, but just looking at the creations of mankind made you feel a little more hopeful. It reminded you that people were capable of amazing amounts of progress. That you, as a species, had made it this far, and there was still more to go.

A man with a guitar was sitting on the ledge of a fountain, doing an acoustic rendition of Fix You by Coldplay. You caught yourself humming along unconsciously, straying away from Steven to drop a five dollar bill in the hat placed by the man’s feet. He nodded at you as he continued singing, not minding the raindrops collecting on the surface of his guitar. Steven walked up behind you as you turned around to see if you’d lost him.

His eyes searched your face before he spoke, as if he was absorbing everything he was seeing. You noticed that he did that a lot. Pausing before he spoke and just observing. The rain was starting to come down a little more rapidly, though not enough to soak through your clothing. Little droplets started collecting on the crown of Steven’s head as he stood with you, the noise of the city fading into the background.

“Didn’t know you were a Coldplay fan.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” you said, before you caught yourself and changed your tone. “I mean, we haven’t exactly had the opportunity to talk about stuff outside politics and our job.”

“In that case,” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and leading you back in the direction you needed to be going in. “I swear not to bring up politics or our job during dinner. As long as you agree to the terms too.”

You felt your face heat up at his proximity, unwilling to look him the eye as you nodded. Steven didn’t seem to mind your sudden silence, content to walk in the rain with his arm around you.

“Are you going to move your arm?” You asked quietly.

“No, our reservation is in fifteen minutes and I can’t have you running off without me again,” he said, not leaving room for argument. He looked down at you and smiled. “Why? Are you uncomfortable?”

“No,” you blurted, a little too quickly and a little too loudly. “I was just surprised.”

“You walk on eggshells around me still, you know. I just want you to view me on the same level as you. We’re both just people.”

“Well, easy for you to say.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve had a remarkable, decade-long career as one of the most well known journalists of this century. My senile grandmother could probably pick you out in a crowd,” you said, forgoing mentioning the fact you also thought he was unfairly gorgeous and that made you extremely nervous.

“So?”

“So?! I don’t know, it’s intimidating!”

“Y/N, I really don’t want you to think that I’m better than you because of the opportunities I’ve had. I’m also much older than you, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Only by ten years.”

“Ten years is quite a bit of time. Anyways, it’s probably no secret to you what my family does. I was born into wealth, connections, et cetera. I knew journalists and got to learn directly with them. You, on the other hand, probably went through years of schooling and self research. For that, I think you’re just as remarkable,” he said.

“I haven’t done much,” you said, rubbing at your elbow and turning your gaze to the sidewalk.

“On the contrary, you’ve done a lot. Just this last week, for example. You were the one who knew to post that specific clip to twitter and you were the one who edited the story. You single handedly ensured our success, and I refuse to hear otherwise.”

“But-“

“Ah! I won’t have it,” he cut you off, looking at you with a faked sternness. “I’m sure you’ve done much more too. You’re obviously very clever.”

“I don’t know about all that-“

“One more self deprecating word out of you, and I’ll make you pay for dessert. Be warned, this place is very expensive.”

“If it’s so expensive why are we going?” You asked, stopping in your tracks.

“Because it's a celebration and I’m paying?” He said, tilting his head and looking at you like you’d asked the most ridiculous question he’d ever heard.

“You’re what!”

“Y/N, love. If someone asks you to go somewhere, they have to pay. Anything else is impolite. Come on, even if you make me cancel the reservation, they’ll have me pay them $100.”

“What kind of place is this?” You gaped, looking over at Steven as he pulled you forward.

“A place that makes great spaghetti.”

“Am I even dressed appropriately for this place?” You asked, more to yourself than to him. You looked down at the outfit you’d worn to work today: skinny jeans, a plain white blouse, and a saffron colored blazer. It would be a little fancy for most of your regular haunts (IHOP, McDonalds, or Shake Shack), but you wouldn’t stand out too much. At Steven’s expensive restaurant, though? You would probably stick out like a sore thumb.

“You look beautiful as always, don’t worry about it,” Steven said, gently rubbing your shoulder. “Oh, look. This is the restaurant.”

You tried hard not to react to what he said, but your heart rate definitely sped up and you felt a lot warmer. Steven, thankfully, was too busy getting the two of you checked in and seated at the restaurant to notice how you’d malfunctioned at his casual compliment. It was stupid, a throwaway line to make you shut up. But it filled you up with metaphorical butterflies anyways.

When the waiter handed you your menus, Steven finally looked at you and asked if you were okay. You quickly nodded and lied about needing to go wash your hands, hoping he didn’t see right through your ruse. You took a few minutes to calm yourself down in the bathroom before you went back out.

“Welcome back,” Steven said as you slid into the booth. “I ordered you some water. I didn’t know what kind of wine you’d want.”

“I don’t really have a taste for wine. Had a few bad experiences getting wine drunk,” you said, opening up your menu to scan through the options.

“Oh? You’re going to have to tell me that story. Also, I already know what the cheapest thing on this menu is, and if you order it, I’m going to ignore you and order something twice as expensive. So choose wisely.”

“Can you read minds?” You asked, dropping the menu in surprise.

“Your concern about burdening others is a part of you that I have come to understand, yes,” he said, not lifting his gaze from his own menu. “Do you like seafood? I think you’d like their shrimp and lobster spaghetti.”

“You know this place better than I do, so I’ll let you order.”

“Great,” Steven said with a beaming smile, waving down a waiter and ordering two plates of the house special spaghetti. When the waiter disappeared into the back, Steven turned his attention to you. “So, Coldplay?”

“Please, everyone likes Coldplay.”

“You struck me as more of a millennial hipster type. Like, you listen to bands no one’s heard of and you take pride in that. The lower their listener count on Spotify is, the better.”

“What! That’s such a specific assumption!”

“Tell me it’s not true then. Tell me you don’t do that,” he said, pressing his lips together to hold back a smirk.

“Well, I guess,” you said begrudgingly, unable to keep yourself from smiling at his amusement. “But I listen to lots of stuff! You strike me as an oldies lover. Like a ‘I was born in the wrong decade’ type of guy.”

“Harsh, but accurate,” he chuckled.

“What can I say, I’m observant,” you said, purposely flipping your hair and patting yourself on the back to make Steven laugh even harder.

When the waiter returned with your orders, a comfortable silence fell between the two of you as you focused on the food. You’d mentioned briefly to him that what he ordered you was amazing before continuing to shovel the spaghetti down (in a sort of ladylike fashion, this was still a nice place). The rest of the evening was the two of you exchanging surface level facts about each other. Your favorite movies, musicians, places to go, museums in D.C.. It was all stuff you’d probably find if you scoured the internet and read every interview he ever gave, but it was nice to just treat him like a regular coworker, and he clearly preferred that you thought of him that way.

“Who’s your inspiration? Like for work?”

“I thought we agreed we weren’t going to talk about work,” he said, a teasing smile on the corners of his lips. “But Walter Cronkite.”

“Typical.”

“What? He was the most trustworthy man in America. I’d like to be on that level, you know? To be someone that people would look at and say ‘that person is telling the truth’. It’s a big honor.”

“That’s fair. You’re right. It’s a popular response, but it’s a good one.”

“Who’s yours, then?” He asked.

“There was a woman who did our local news, Tiffany Day. She was amazing. I wanted to be like her so bad when I was growing up. She seemed so confident and powerful on television, like she couldn’t be lied to.”

“I think you’ll get there. You’re already amazing and a great journalist. Biggest pet peeve?”

“Hopefully. And liars. I hate being lied to more than anything else.”

“You seem to have a preoccupation with that. Lies.”

“It’s part of my tragic backstory, you’ll have to reach level fifteen friendship to unlock that,” you said, deflecting the unspoken question. That story was not one you were interested in rehashing with Steven.

“What level am I at now?” He asked, amused with your challenge.

“Two. Three, because you bought me food.”

“How do I level up?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out, isn’t it?”

“I suppose,” he said, leaning back in his seat. “Well, I’ll add that to my personal goals for this year. Unlock Y/N’s tragic backstory. Just a warning, though, Miss Y/N. I usually achieve all my goals.”

You blinked at him, but he had already moved on to getting the waiter to bring him the check. You didn’t really know how to react to Steven’s promise to you, but you were a little worried. Would he really express all this interest in you after he did unlock your “tragic backstory”? You’d only had his attention for a short amount of time, but you found yourself blooming under it. You liked the way he made you feel important and the way he spoke to you.

You liked him, period.

You could only hope he’d still like you after uncovering just how much of a pathetic wreck you were on the inside. Once he’d found the irreparable neuroticism and negative energy that you tried to keep bottled up. You couldn’t say for certain, but you really hoped he’d stay.

You and Steven had been working together for a few months, and this had never happened before.

You should have expected that a mix up was bound to occur, or that your cheapskate editor would decide to cut corners on production costs, or even that hotel space would be limited somewhere eventually. But you were surprised anyways when you and Steven were asked to share a room in Anaheim. Luckily, there were two beds, but it was still awkward to be sharing a room with your hot coworker for a week. What if he ran into you while he was naked? Or worse, what if he ran into YOU naked?

You shivered at the thought as you set your luggage on the ground near the window, Steven following behind. You looked over at him while he was taking his shoes off, briefly wondering if this is what a bride would feel like on her wedding night.

‘Where the hell did that thought come from?’ You asked yourself.

“Sorry about the mix up, guess you’re going to have to deal with little old me as your roommate,” he said as he stripped off his blazer and tossed it onto a nearby chair. “I should probably warn you that I’m a little messy and I go to bed pretty late.”

“I don’t mind messes, so as long as you keep it on your side of the room,” you said with a wry smile. “I tend to play my music out loud while I’m getting ready in the mornings, but I can use headphones this week. It’s not a problem.”

“No, you don’t have to use headphones. I’d love to hear what you have on your playlists,” he said, giving you a quick grin as he began unpacking his sweatpants and toiletries. “I think we’ll be okay as roommates.”

He was wrong, however, because you were definitely not okay.

You should have established a rule about a minimum amount of clothing you were allowed to wear within the room, because Steven’s habit of walking around shirtless was driving you insane. It was taking every ounce of willpower in your body to not stare. What the hell was he so ripped for? Where did he even find the time to work out?

Meanwhile Steven’s eye candy for the week was you in no makeup and fuzzy fleece pajama pants. At first, you tried to avoid taking off your makeup while he was still awake. But you soon realized that he wasn’t lying when he said he went to bed late. You waited until 2 am on the first night before giving up and going about your skincare routine. He didn’t look twice at you, so you guessed that was semi positive. At least you weren’t double take levels of ugly.

You slammed your face into the pillow and tried not to groan out loud at the looped thought of him ditching his bed for yours, since he was right across from you reading an Agatha Christie novel. Ugh, of course he reads. As if he wasn’t perfect enough.

“Are you okay?” Steven asked.

“Great,” you lied. “It’s just a little cold in here.”

“Do you want my comforter? I kick it down to the edge of the bed anyways.”

You accepted the offered blanket, even though you didn’t need it.

On the third day, Steven accidentally walked into the bathroom right after you finished taking a shower. Thankfully, you had a towel wrapped around you, but you were startled nonetheless, nearly tripping out of surprise. He grabbed onto your arm and waist instinctually to steady you, but quickly let go of as if he’d been burned.

“Um, sorry,” he blurted before walking right back out, a blush high on his cheeks.

That was strange, you’d thought. He’d never blushed in front of you before. It was kind of adorable. Obviously you thought of Steven as handsome and attractive, and in the deep recesses of your mind, you agreed with his position as a sex symbol. But you’d never seen him as cute before. He was always much too polished. It was sort of nice to see him at a loss like that.

When you’d stepped out of the shower, he’d disappeared entirely, with only a note saying he left to go get some tea and to text him if you wanted anything. You smirked to yourself and briefly considered wearing shorts and a tank top to bed just to see how he’d react, before banishing the idea from your mind. That would be much too obvious and you didn’t want to just throw yourself at him, even though you were very tempted to. It would make your professional relationship awkward, and you liked the dynamic you had already.

Instead, you texted him to ask for popcorn so you could have a movie night and watch a horror film together. He returned with a bag full of that healthy popcorn you hate for being tasteless for himself, and a bag full of Chicago mix popcorn for you. You gasped and thanked him when he tossed it at you before he climbed into his own bed.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“Uh, waiting for you to start the movie?”

“You’re really going to watch it all the way over there?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

Steven rolled his eyes and groaned as if you were greatly inconveniencing him, but got into your bed anyways. Mission Get Steven’s Attention: Accomplished. Now you could enjoy the movie with his body heat pressed up against your side, and maybe pretend to be scared halfway through so you could cling onto him.

Though it turned out that plan was unnecessary, because Steven turned out to be terrible with gore. He had his face buried into the crook of your neck, peeking out every now and again to see if the coast was clear. It was interesting, because you were sure Steven had seen much more graphic things at CNN, and those were worse because they were real. You mentioned as much to him, and he told you that was the problem. These scenes reminded him of the very real, very terrible things he had seen in his line of work. You turned the TV off and stroked a hand through his curls comfortingly.

“Why did you agree to this?” You asked softly, leaving the ‘if you knew this was going to happen’ unspoken.

“I thought that it had been long enough,” he said, pulling away from your shoulder. He tried to hide it, but his eyes were a little puffy and red from the tears he was trying to hold back. “That those scenes wouldn’t be vivid in my mind after all this time.”

“It’s only been a few months,” you whispered, turning to face him better. He blinked at you as you reached over to wipe the tears that had managed to slip past his control. “I wish you would have said something, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable or bring up bad memories. I would never do that to you. You’re one of my favorite people.”

Instead of replying, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in close. A comfortable quietness enveloped the two of you, only the sound of his slightly uneven breathing and his heartbeat kept the room from being completely silent.

“Thank you.”

“No. Thank you,” you said. “For being vulnerable with me.”

Part 2

thank you for reading ♡ you can find my masterlist here

#steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #moon knight x reader #steven grant fanfic #moon knight smut #marc spector fanfic #oscar isaac #steven grant imagine #marc spector imagine #moon knight #moon knight fanfic

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 1 year

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Young American - Part 5

FRIENDS, THIS IS A GOOD AND LONG ONE 😮‍💨😏 A little earlier than usual because I will be very busy this weekend, but I hope you like it! Thank you to all of you who read and interact, it means the world to me!

WC: 10.7k

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Also on an unrelated note, I'm going to 2 more LOT show and was thinking of maybe doing a little merch giveaway? Perhaps a LOT soup tote? LMK if that would be something you're interested in if you were unable to attend any shows! ☺️

Warnings: Talks about Alzheimers, death, depression, cancer, blood, pain, tattooing

Y/N wasn’t really sure what to expect on Monday when she got to the shop in terms of her official friendship with Harry. Since Sunday was her “day off” she didn’t see Harry or even hear from him, but she still felt giddy and nervous as she got through her tasks quickly and eventually got to the drawing table. She had done herself up just a bit more in the makeup department, she always got a little more of a confidence boost when she did her make up. It wasn’t anything crazy, she just added a thin winged liner and a red lip tint with some gloss over it. It stood out a bit since she was just wearing a white tee tucked into her black, high-waisted jeans and her go-to checkered vans adorned her feet. Y/N kept telling herself that it was because she just felt good, she had a little bit of a pep in her step today, but all that flew out the window when she heard the back door of the shop open and she perked up, preparing to see Harry, he was always the first to arrive as she turned back when she heard the steps lead into the studio she was met with G.

“Oh, hey! You’re early!” She said with a smile as she stood and he scoffed.

“Early? It’s 9:30.” He said and she frowned.

“Is it?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled, “Got lost in the drawing, did you?” He asked and she smiled and nodded. She felt a little worried, Harry was never late, “Show me what you’re working on?” He asked and she guided him over. As she showed him the new designs they made some small talk about his grandparents anniversary party and he shared that he had also been out yesterday and was curious about the Halloween party she bit her lip for a second before speaking.

“Ummm, maybe we should go for a drink after work.” She said and he looked at her with some confusion.

“Well I can’t tonight. The boo-thing and I wanted to go see a movie, sorry.” He said.

“It’s cool, we can do tomorrow.” She assured and then the door opened again and in came Rosa, “She lives!” Y/N laughed and Rosa sighed.

“I’m so sorry! I got hella cross faded and it hit right before we were leaving to the party and I was vegged out and eventually just passed out. I texted Harry!”

“You did not!” She laughed and then pulled out her phone to show proof and as she searched through her messages she frowned and her and G just giggled.

“OK, I thought about texting Harry.” She laughed in slight embarrassment with Y/N and G. They chatted a bit longer and then Vy came in and cheerfully greeted everyone as she rushed to set up for her appointment and shortly after Rosa headed off to open up the shop and Harry still wasn’t in. It was a slow morning for G so he gave her some pointers on some of the new designs she had made so that they could be more tattoo friendly and she took note and as they wrapped up that conversation he let out a big yawn.

“Well, I’m gonna make some coffee, want some?”

“Yeah, I’ll come with you.” Y/N smiled and they walked into the lounge and she started getting out the grounds and their mugs. Suddenly they heard the door open and in came Harry, sunglasses still on his face, his motorcycle helmet nestled in one arm as he ran his free hand through his thick, brown curls. He was wearing some distressed denim, the fit was loose on his legs and his broad shoulders were draped in a worn leather jacket. He was wearing one of his usual t-shirts underneath, but god did he look astounding.

“Hey G!” He greeted happily as he passed by and when he reached Y/N he gave her a little side hug, “Hey you.” He hummed lowly as he pressed his cheek into the top of her head.

“Hey.” She responded with a bashful smile, trying her best to will away the rosy color of the blood rushing up to her face. After a few short seconds of being in his embrace Harry pulled away and headed to the storage lockers to set his things down. When she looked over at G he was smirking at her and she rolled her eyes and continued with adding the coffee grounds to the filter.

“Can you add a little for me?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, of course.” She smiled up at him, “Long morning?” She asked and he sighed as he shrugged off his jacket.

“Yeah, on my way here I got a flat on the highway. I had to get towed to a gas station to fill up and well, you know how tow trucks take forever and charge like hell.” He explained and both she and G hummed in understanding, “But it’s all taken care of now, thankfully.” He said with a smile as he came up beside Y/N to grab his mug out of the cabinet.

“That’s good. Glad to hear you’re alright and everything worked out.” G said and Y/N nodded along in agreement.

“Thanks.” He responded and then he turned to Y/N, “You look extra dolled up today.” He acknowledged her extra effort.

“Oh yeah? Just… felt like switching it up a little.” She shrugged nonchalantly, but internally she was happy that he had noticed.

“Well, you look good.” He said more quietly, probably feeling a little bit timid since G was in there with them, but it surprised her that his presence didn’t deter him from complimenting her at all.

“Oh! Ummm, thanks.” She smiled at him again and Harry smiled timidly at her and she could see G grinning from her peripherals.

“Did you already talk to Rosa?” He asked with a grin as he leaned against the counter as she started up the coffeemaker.

“Oh my god, yes!” Y/N giggled and Harry shook his head from side to side.

“At least we know she’s alive. She was in a proper state yesterday.” Harry disclosed and she giggled.

“I can only imagine.” Y/N hummed and she looked to G who was texting fiercely on his phone. She was just waiting for her phone to ding with a longwinded message.

“Speaking of the devil.” Harry grinned as Rosa walked in and she rolled her eyes with a grin on her face, “Morning.”

“Good morning, Harry. Ummm, do you have a minute? Someone is asking for you up front.” She said and he nodded and left with Rosa.

“OK, I cancelled the movie we’re going for drinks tonight.” He said and and she laughed softly and shook her head.

“It’s cool, it can wait.”

“Maybe it can, but I can’t. I need to know what is going on there.” He said quietly.

“Nothing. We’re friends now.” She shrugged.

“Bull! You hooked up.” He said more quietly and she shook her head.

“Really we didn’t!” He studied her face with squinted eyes, “Ughhh, we’re going to lunch then. I literally cannot wait to hear it all.” He said to her and she giggled.

“OK, lunch.” She agreed.

************

G could not stop smiling as Y/N told him about her time spent at the Halloween party with Harry. It was good that she and Harry were able to put their differences aside and have fun together. He was starting to grow a soft spot for him as she talked about how funny and sweet he was.

“-and then Vy took us up to the guest room so that I could go to the bathroom without waiting in the long ass line and we just stayed up there talking.”

“Talking you say?”

“Yeah, just talking, and drinking of course, but ummm… he was just really bummed about how we had gotten off on the wrong foot-”

“Still?”

“Yeah, he was so apologetic! And you know, I was letting him know that it was OK and we watched a rom-com turned drinking game…Well, I let him think I was drinking too but I just hate taking Ubers alone if I’m drunk and well he asked if we were friends and I told him that I think we are and he got really happy about that. You should’ve seen how pretty his smile was, I swear my heart grew five sizes just seeing him beaming like that.” She pouted with affection and G cooed, “Then it was just time to go and well, he had driven himself and didn’t want to leave his car so he let me drive his car-”

“The Ferrari?” He asked with shock and Y/N nodded.

“He was so drunk, I thought he was joking! But then he was like I swear I trust you and he wanted to go home so I agreed to drive him. Then he like passed out and I have no idea where he lives, so I had to take him to mine and he stayed the night.” She shrugged, leaving out the part where they shared the bed, “He stayed for breakfast and then left for the shop and that was it.” She said.

“And he remembers all of this?” G asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, he ummm, he checked in the next morning and apologized if he was a handful or whatever, which I assured him he wasn’t and yeah.”

“How do you feel about all of this?” He asked and she shrugged and smiled.

“Good? I mean, he’s literally the sweetest person ever and he’s really proven himself to like, makeup for the beginning.”

“Well, I’m glad you guys are good now because now I can say how fucking good he looked when he came in today. Not really the type I go for but damn.” G said with arched eyebrows and Y/N giggled with warmth in her cheeks.

“Yeah, he did. Didn’t he?” She said giddily before taking her lip between her teeth.

“He was totally flirting with you, by the way. This morning.” G pointed out and her cheeks felt warm all over again as he recalled this detail and recounted it to her.

“Oh my god…he was just being nice.” She waved it off.

“Sure, sure… I might be into guys but I’m not blind. Flirting is flirting in any sexual orientation.” He said pointedly and she rolled her eyes.

*************

The rest of the afternoon was pretty quiet. Y/N was just doing some inventory in the supply closet while everyone else wither worked on their clients or on new designs. She was in the middle of counting the boxes of gloves when suddenly Harry came looking extremely irritated and she jumped a bit at his surprise intrusion.

“Sorry, I just need a moment.” He huffed.

“Alright. Do you want me to go?” She asked him as she set her clipboard down on the nearest surface.

“No. Stay.” He insisted, searching her eyes and she nodded as he looked down to the ground and took slow, calming breaths, but his hands were balled up in fists at his sides. She tentatively reached for one of his hands and he unclenched it, allowing her to take it and she just squeezed gently. He looked back into her eyes and she could see that he was so upset that it looked like he was going to cry.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked gently and he exhaled through his nose.

“Well, first the whole thing with the tow truck. I mean, it was an expense I wasn’t expecting to make and rent is due on Friday.” He explained, he was clearly stressed out about it, “And now, I got a call from the company that’s shipping over my things and they lost some really priceless art that I had. Stuff my grandfather had painted. They’ve been searching but still haven’t been able to track where it went.” He said and paused, that seemed to be what really was upsetting him, he exhaled shakily and she squeezed his hand again, “That’s all I had left of his.” He explained with tearful eyes.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Harry.” She said compassionately, her hand trailed up his arm from his hand and she smoothed over his bicep gently, “That’s super shitty.”

“Yeah. Fuck…I’m so angry I can’t even see straight…ughhh!” He groaned and she frowned and just hugged him. He stayed frozen for a second before he hugged her back. They were quiet for a few moments.

“Want to take a little walk? Get some fresh air?” She asked and he nodded against her, “OK, C’mon.” She said softly as she rubbed at his back before letting go. They headed out through the back entrance and he groaned again when he saw that his bike had a flat again.

“For fuck’s sake!” He exclaimed and sighed as he bent down to inspect the damage.

“Gosh, today is just not your day…” She said and he shook his head.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” He mumbled.

“Well look, one of my aunt’s friends is a mechanic, has his own shop and all. He does his own towing and I think he does tires too. I can call her and see if they can get this sorted out for you?” She offered and he turned to her.

“Do you know how much that might be?”

“Not sure, but cheaper. He never charges us if we need towing, being family friends and all. Or if he can’t work on what you need he can at least refer you to someone who will give you a good deal?” She said and he sighed. Harry hated feeling helpless and limited in what he could do. Things had been better, but he hadn’t replenished his savings enough to be able to deal with an unforeseen circumstance like this twice in one day.

“Yeah, please. Anything would help at this point.” He said and she nodded.

“I’ll call her now. Maybe if they come soon you’ll have it before the end of the day?” She said and he nodded, “OK, let me go get my phone.” She said and rushed back inside. She came back out and they started walking out of the lot with him at her side as she called her aunt and explained the situation. She was more than willing to give their friend, Andrew, a call and soon she hung up as they reached the corner of the street and they lingered there for a moment.

“Thank you.” He said and she smiled.

“I’m glad I could help with at least one thing.” She responded, “You wanna talk about the paintings?” She asked and he nodded.

“My grandfather and I were close. He was into art and that’s how I started to draw and paint.” He explained, “It was something we did together when I was growing up and when I told my mum that I was not going to continue in college to pursue tattooing he was… surprisingly supportive.” He smiled as he looked to her and she smiled.

“That’s sweet!” She hummed and he nodded, his dimple carved into his cheek and it made her swoon with endearment.

“Yeah, I was surprised but he believed in me, you know? Shortly before I started my apprenticeship with Eddie he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He explained and she frowned, “It was hard for my nan to look after him on her own and my mum could only help so much with work and all. Like we helped how we could but it was really hard when he’d have bad days, so eventually she got him into an assisted living home but that just really accelerated his deterioration. I would visit every week and we would paint together. He didn’t remember me as his grandson, just as the kid who would come paint with him. Those were the paintings they lost.” He said and Y/N frowned.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m sure they’ll turn up.” She said hopefully and he sighed.

“I hope they do. They mean a lot to me.”

“Yeah, I can see why. Did he ever get to see you tattoo?” She asked and he smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. He had these few weeks where he was just super lucid, like right before the final crash,” he explained and she nodded for him to go on, “and he wanted a tattoo from me. That was the first official tattoo I gave. He paid me and everything.” He chuckled and looked at the ground as he shared the story with her. It brought tears to her eyes because this one hit close to home because the reason she wanted to tattoo was her aunt, Julie, a cancer survivor and so close to being in remission right now. There was a point in time where they weren’t sure if she would make it, but she had always said that she wanted Y/N to tattoo her before she died and Y/N intended on making good on her promise.

“Awww, Harry, that’s so cute.” She sniffled and he looked over at her when he heard her sniffle.

“Oh, don’t cry!” He pouted and she giggled and swiped at her eye to wipe her tears, “You’ve ruined your eyeliner.” He tutted, looking between her eyes with a small smile and she huffed, “Here, I got it, love.” He said softly as he leaned closer to her face and just swiped the wings away with a little rubbing of his thumbs. She felt her heart pounding hard in her chest as his eyes focused intently on her face to ensure that nothing else was out of place. She did everything to withstand the temptation of looking at his lips, “There. Sorry for making you cry and ruin your pretty makeup.” He hummed before pulling his hands away.

“It’s fine.” She giggled with a shake of her head and he smiled, “What did you tattoo on your grandpa?” She asked.

“A portrait of my grandmother from their wedding day.” He said and Y/N smiled.

“That’s so sweet.”

“Yeah, he was a romantic. He was so in love with her and always went above and beyond for her.” He recalled, “I don’t know, I just really looked up to him and he meant a lot to me, you know?” He asked and she nodded.

“You’ll see, they’ll turn up, Harry.” She spoke with certainty and he chuckled as he looked to the ground as he shook his head, “What?” She giggled.

“You always speak in absolutes. Like you’re just so sure of everything.” He pointed out.

“It’s manifestation 101!” She grinned and he chuckled.

“Hmmm, do you find that things usually go your way?” He asked and she shrugged.

“I’d say so? At least most of the time I feel like I get my way.” She pondered on it for another moment, “I’ll continue manifesting that they find your paintings.”

“Please and thank you.” He said lowly and a moment of silence passed between them, “And thank you for listening to me. I know that none of this stuff really concerns you but I feel better when I talk to you. So thanks for just being here, I guess.”

“Anytime, Harry. What else are friends for?” She asked with a smile and he smiled back. Just then her phone rang and she saw it was her aunt, “It’s my aunt!” She said and answered right away. She informed Y/N that Andrew was on his way to the shop to get Harry’s motorcycle and to just keep an eye on her phone because he’d call her when he arrived. She agreed and with that they made the short walk back to the shop. It was only 30 minutes later that Y/N was rushing over to Harry that Andrew was out back and they went over to meet him.

Harry handed over the the motorcycle keys and Andrew mounted it not he tow truck and got Harry’s number and let him know that he wasn’t too sure if they had the exact tires for his bike, but he would check and let him know. He said he’d also ask any neighboring shops if they had any in their inventory if he didn’t have it, if not he’d have to order one. Harry nodded and in a moment that Y/N went off to grab Andrew a water from inside he nervously brought up to him his concern about the cost.

“So ummm, do you know about how much this’ll be? Things have been a bit slow for me as I’m new in town and I’m just a little strapped for cash.” He confessed in slight embarrassment, “Or we could do like a payment plan if you’re open to that, or-”

“Don’t worry about it, kid. It’s just a freaking tire.” Andrew said with a steadfast smile.

“A-are you sure?” Harry asked Andrew nodded.

“Yeah, man. We’re good.” Andrew confirmed with a nod and Harry thanked him profusely until he took off.

He and Y/N did a few tattoos after that and it was around 6:30pm when Andrew called Harry and let him know that he didn’t have any tires that fit his bike in his shop, but that a buddy of his could get his delivery guy to send one over the next day and that he could have the bike ready for pickup by closing time the following day and Harry assured him that was fine and that if he ever wanted to get tattooed he was more than welcome to ask for him, that was the only thing he could really offer him and Andrew said very happily that he might actually take him up on that offer at some point and with that they were squared away. It was closing time and they were all tearing down for the day and before she got to cleaning Y/N came up to Harry.

“Hey, what did Andrew tell you?”

“It’ll be ready tomorrow by closing, he couldn’t get a tire today.” He explained.

“Oh OK, that’s good. Do you need a ride home? Save you a couple bucks on an uber or something.” She offered.

“Ummm, if it’s not a bother that’d be great.” He said and she nodded.

“You got it. Let me just finish cleaning up real quick.” She said and he started helping her sweep as she disinfected the chairs and stations.

Slowly everyone else started filtering out, calling out their goodbyes. She and Harry only stayed over about 15 minutes after everyone else and they soon were heading out to her car. He settled in and once again, that scent of hers just overwhelmed him completely, it took him over in the best way. It was sweet and fruity and completely intoxicating. As soon as the car switched on her radio started blasting Bon Iver and she rushed to turn it down and he chuckled.

“Jeez, sorry.” She giggled, “I have car concerts so that I don’t get road rage.” She explained.

“It’s cool.” He assured, “That’s me, too.” He chuckled, “I like Bon Iver too, they’re good.” He smiled.

“Sick.” She responded as she waited for her engine to warm up a bit. He was subtly looking around the space and then spoke up.

“You know, this is the cleanest girl’s car I have ever been in.” He pointed out as he looked around.

“Oh really?” She smiled with pride.

“Yeah. Usually they’ve got a mess in the boot and like a whole wardrobe in the back seat and like there’s always like fifty half drunken water bottles for some reason but you can hear a giant Hydroflask clanking around somewhere, though?” He questioned and she laughed loudly, her eyes watering with happy tears. She definitely had friends with that issue, he laughed along with her, he loved her laugh, it was probably one of his favorite sounds. “I mean that can’t be good for the environment, can it?” He posed the question through a giggle and she nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I don’t know the logic behind that but I do know some people with that issue.” She disclosed as her laughter dwindled into a breathy chuckle.

“Yeah, that’s my sister Or at least it was before she had kids.” He said and she grinned before she bit down her lip and looked over to him.

“Are you guys close?” She asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, pretty close.” He confirmed and then sighed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you or-”

“Oh no, it’s OK. I just forget that I’m so far away from them sometimes.” He explained and then smiled up at her, “W-would you like to stay over for dinner? I can order something in? Obviously on me, as like a thank you for all your help today.” He offered and she smiled at him.

“Ummm, yeah. That’d be nice. I’d really like that.” She accepted and he looked out the window and exhaled, as if he had been nervous to ask her, and it made her smile, “Let me just text my aunt real quick and then you can tell me where to go.” She said and he nodded.

After a few moments they were taking off and he was directing her towards his apartment. It was about a twenty minute drive to his place and about ten minutes of driving around the block and joking that the food would arrive before she found a parking spot on his street. Finally, someone left and she quickly fit her car into the spot and cheered excitedly at finally finding somewhere to park. It was around the corner to his building so he took advantage of the walk to call and order their dinner and soon they were going up to his floor in the elevator.

His building wasn’t all that new looking, but it was still nice and it looked like it had been remodeled inside. Harry also explained that his apartment had been upgraded, so he had some of the newer features and an in-unit washer and dryer which he was extremely grateful for. He pulled out his keys and let them inside before he flicked on the lights at the entrance. She immediately looked around and saw that he still had some boxes up against a wall and packages. He had been here for months already and the place still didn’t really look lived in, it looked like he had arrived a week before and it made her a bit sad for him. It did smell really good and relaxing though and it was very clean, which she was not shocked at, but it was still nice to see that since most guys living on their own tended to be a little messy and gross in her experience. He slipped out of his shoes so she did the same and followed him further in.

“Do you want water or wine?” He asked as he switched on the kitchen lights.

“What are you having?”

“Just water for now.”

“OK, same.” She agreed and he went ahead and served her a glass. She saw that he had no dining table in the spot that was presumably the “dining area". He had a couch though, it was big and velvety, so it looked comfortable. He also had a TV and coffee table before the couch and a rug underneath the coffee table and bordering the couch legs.

“I know this place is a state.” He said lowly as he came up beside her and she smiled up at him.

“I mean, you’ve only been here like four months.” She teased and he grinned and shook his head.

“Hey, in all fairness I do own more furniture, just building it is a bitch.” He excused, “Like my dining table is in there.” He said pointing to one of the larger boxes against the wall. “I built two chairs and just gave up on the other two.” He explained, “It’s hard doing it alone.” He explained and she bit her lip and looked up at him.

“I can help you if you want?” She offered, “I’m quite good with the Ikea furniture.” She smiled.

“Nah, I can figure it out. You’re my guest tonight, not my builder.” He said.

“You sure? I’m certain we can have it done by the time the food comes.” She said and he looked at her skeptically.

“I don’t know, but lets try.” He said and she smiled and he soon brought over a blade to open the boxes and his tool box. She didn’t know she needed to see him carrying a toolbox until he was coming over with it from down the hall that presumably led to his bedroom. They opened up the box and she glanced at the instructions as he set out the parts in the right places.

“Cool! Now that we’re organized, the rest is common sense.” She assured and he chuckled as they started working. There were definitely mistakes and plenty of laughter as they figured this out, but when his intercom buzzed indicating that the food had arrived they were just about to screw in the last leg of the table, “See!” She exclaimed with an uppish grin and he chuckled, “Just hold it for a second so I can screw it in while you grab the food.” He nodded and after a few moments he was dashing out of his apartment to find the delivery person and she was fastening in the final screws for the table.

When Harry came back the table was right side up and she was smiling to herself as she wiped it down with a rag she had found in the kitchen. It made his heart flutter in his chest and he just wanted to set the food down, go up to her and take her pretty face in his hands and give her a big smooch on the lips, but he refrained from it and just set the food down on the kitchen counter before heading into the cabinet.

“Now I have an excuse to use my plates and cutlery.” He said and she looked to him in some astonishment.

“Ummm, what’ve you been eating out of?” She asked in bewilderment.

“Just disposable plates or like the takeout containers if I’ve order in.” He responded nonchalantly, as if it were the most obvious thing.

Y/N wasn’t sure what about this made her heart hurt a bit more, but she felt so sad for him. She was a firm believer in the need to do nice things for yourself, especially when you’re feeling down. Break out of the routine and not opt for convenience every time, show yourself you’re worth the effort through the little things. And in his case, well she wasn’t an expert but she could see that Harry was a bit depressed. The evidence was all around her. He hadn’t bothered to make this place feel like home yet and it really showed in the way he was living. He was surely having a hard time adjusting to the move, he hadn’t settled in and it was super obvious to her that it wasn’t just because he “didn’t have help” as he’d said before. It was apparent to her that he actually wasn’t bothered to get help with any of this.

“Harry, can I ask you something?” She said as she came over to the kitchen where he was quite literally opening up the brand new box his dinnerware was packaged in.

“Ummm, sure.” He said looking at her with a quizzical smile.

“You can tell me to go fuck myself if I’m overstepping, but ummm, are you…regretful of moving out here?” She asked and he frowned a little at her question, “Like it’s just that you’ve been here for four months and it looks like you’ve just arrived a week ago…” she explained and he did feel a bit offended and was about to tell her to just leave it but then she continued, “and it just… makes me sad that maybe you feel like you can’t make this place your home. Like, I don’t know, like I’ve seen who you are as a person and then I see your space and it doesn’t align.” She said with a confused pout, “It’s like…void of all of the warmth and loveliness that you exude as a person. It’s like there’s no joy here, I guess, and it looks like you just haven’t adjusted well is what I’m trying to say.” She finished as she twisted her fingers nervously together and he sighed, “Sorry, if I umm-”

“No, you’re completely right.” He interrupted her with a frown etching into his expression, “I haven’t adjusted well. And I just don’t have the motivation to just…do it. Do all this. It feel overwhelming.” He shared and she nodded as she listened, “I’m not going to lie to you, it’s been…” he sighed, “It’s been really hard to make this feel like home and I don’t know if it will ever really feel like it.” He said morosely and she pouted. In all reality that’s why he liked being out of his apartment as much as possible; he went to pilates at 6:30 almost every morning and didn’t come back until after the shop closed, he didn’t like being here. It didn’t feel like a home, not in the slightest. There was no warmth, no comfort, no safety.

“Harry, I don’t like that.” Y/N said worriedly, “Is there something that would help? I mean, I just don’t like the idea of you feeling like you don’t have a place to call home. Where you can feel comfortable and safe and relaxed.” She said, “Happy even.” She added, her voice soft and sincere. He would eat her up with kisses if he could, she was too sweet.

“I don’t know, I just think I need to like set everything up, start making it my space, you know? Make memories here and all that. Like actually live here, not just come sleep here.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, that’s a great start. How about this? I help you out with setting everything else up and you can do a little housewarming dinner for your friends. Well those of us from the shop and maybe any neighbors or people you know out here?” She suggested.

“Yeah, s’just you guys…” he said with a timid smile.

“Well we’re excellent company. Think about it, you can use your dinnerware-” he laughed at that, “and you can get little gifts or gift cards from everyone so that you can buy more stuff to make this place more homey and we can play games!” She said with a smile and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” He said softly and she smiled.

“Yeah?” She asked again and he just looked into her eyes.

“Yeah.” He confirmed, and I really, really like you too, is what he wanted to tag in at the end.

“OK! Again, I can help you with getting everything finished up and even organize it if you want!” She said with a big smile and God was she making it so hard for him not to kiss her.

“Yeah, you’re the pro here.” He chuckled.

“OK. I’m gonna shut up now and we can eat.” She said.

Harry smiled and continued opening the box of plates as she opened up the take out containers their Italian food had come in. Everything smelled delicious and he was quick to rinse and dry the plates before handing them over to her to serve the food on them. He opened up the cutlery and rinsed those as well before handing her forks for them to use.They went over to the table to have dinner and used some of the complex’s newsletters as placemats to not stain the table. He brought out the wine and they ate and talked comfortably. He was really glad he had asked her over, it already felt a little more like his home. He washed the plates as she dried them off after they ate and they finished building the last two chairs of his dining table set as a TV show played in the background. It was near midnight when they finished doing that and they had consumed half the bottle of wine too. She was slumped against the wall and let out a big yawn, which he imitated.

“Can I use your bathroom?” She asked and he nodded.

“It’s in the bedroom, which is straight down the hall.” He said pointing to it and she nodded and stood with a groan and she stretched really quick before she started padding over, “And don’t psychoanalyze my bedroom, I’m well aware that it’s really depressing!” He called out after her and she laughed loudly as she headed into the dark room.

“Where’s the light?” She called out and he chuckled as he stood up and went down the hall and into his bedroom, “Behind you.” He said as he came into the dark space, but he was familiar enough with it that he went over to the bedside and switched on the lamp he had up there.

“Thank you.” She said and he nodded.

“And the light in the ceiling lamp just went out yesterday, I have to go buy a new one. I promise I’m not wallowing in darkness.” He said and she grinned.

“Oh shut up…” she mumbled and he sniggered as he let her head into the bathroom as he walked out of the bedroom and started stacking up the boxes that they had opened up. She came back out a few moments later, “Want me to help you take these to the dumpster?” She asked.

“Nah, I got it. There’s a chute down the hall.” He assured and she nodded.

“Harry, I’m sorry if I made you feel bad with anything that I said before. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, I just…well, I…care about you and want you to feel good about your decision to come all this way and t-” she froze as he grabbed her face in his hands, they were just centimeters apart. Y/N felt her heart pounding in her chest, making breathing oxygen a chore and for her stomach to flip with a whirlwind of butterflies. She looked up into his eyes, glancing between them quietly.

“I know, love. Thank you for caring about me.” He spoke so quietly, as if there were others listening in but message was exclusively for her, “Especially after everything I’ve put you through-”

“Harry-”

“I know. I know that you’re over it. I just can’t get over how you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Just…” he sighed, “Make everything better.” He said softly and she bit her lip and he mirrored her actions. He wanted to kiss her and bite on her lip and just make her feel good, as good as she made him feel, but in the best ways he knew how. She watched his eyes trail down to her lips and she decided to let her hands hug around his waist, making sure that she didn’t push him closer in case she was reading this tension all wrong, but she also wanted him to know that she was OK with this. He pressed his forehead against hers. He was mentally counting down from 5 before he just did it and kissed her, but suddenly her phone started blaring loudly and they both jumped slightly in response to the loud sound and he let her go so that she could grab it from the floor, the screen said Aunt Julie, so it was important that she answer it.

“Hello?” She answered, “Yeah, still here. Oh OK, I’ll head over right away.” She said softly, “Love you, bye.” She said before hanging up.

“Is everything OK?” He asked her in concern.

“Yeah, she just got really sick to her stomach and it really takes it out of her after all her chemo.” She explained and he frowned, “We can talk about it another time.” She sighed and he nodded.

“OK. Well, let me know if you need anything?” She nodded in acceptance.

“You too. Ummm, do you want me to pick you up tomorrow? So that you can just take your bike home after?”

“If it’s not too much of a hassle.” He said and she smiled.

“It’s not, don’t worry. I’ll text you, OK?”

“Yeah and ummm, thank you for helping me with all of this.” He said a little bashfully and she smiled a bit wider now.

“Anytime, Harry.”

“OK.” He chuckled and with that he let her out and she assured him that she could get down to her car just fine but he insisted on walking her all the way there. He could tell that she felt a little bit worried, but he didn’t press her for details as she agreed they could talk about this another time and so he just hugged her goodbye and waited until she was down the street before he headed back to his building.

***********

Y/N had a long night, but thankfully her aunt was feeling better in the morning and she was able to pick Harry up as planned. He didn’t press her to talk about what happened after she left his place, which she was grateful for. He did talk about the proposed housewarming dinner though, which was a good distraction, he wondered if maybe doing it as a “friends-giving” type of thing would be convenient and she was really excited over the prospect of that.

Y/N had a busy day ahead of her, she would be tattooing two people in the morning and then another in the afternoon from her new designs. Harry had Ria and their sister coming back at around 11:30, so he wouldn’t be able to sit through her tattoos, but Auree was more than willing to make herself available to pop in and see how Y/N was trucking along. Everyone was really excited for her and kept giving her a dew encouragements as the time for her first client approached.

“Which ones are you gonna do today?” Harry asked as he came over to where she was creating the stencil for her first design of the day.

“Gonna do these poppies as a filler on some guy’s sleeve.” She said and he hummed, “Then the second is the leopard with the heart spots.”

“OK nice.”

“And the final one is the little finger gun one with the heart-shaped smoke at the end.” She said with a smile.

“That one’s cool.” He smiled and she grinned as she continued working.

“Yeah, really liked that one too.” She said.

“I like that tiger you did too.”

“Same! But no one has inquired about it.” She said looking to him almost in disbelief, “I thought that it would appeal more to the men, but maybe I was wrong.” She shrugged.

“They don’t know what’s good for them.” He said and she smiled. Harry really liked her design and he decided that he would claim it for himself. He moseyed his way to the front office where Rosa was checking the rest of the bookings for the day.

“Hey Harry, what’s up?” She asked without looking away from the screen.

“I wanted to get an appointment for a tattoo.” He said and she glanced up at him with a playful smile.

“Well sir, we are pretty booked up until the late afternoon.” She said jokingly with raised eyebrows and he chuckled.

“I’m serious.” He said and her amused smile dropped, “That tiger Y/N did is fucking sick and no one has claimed it so I’ll claim it before someone else does.” He said and she smiled again.

“Awww, supporting your mentee.” She cooed and he chuckled and nodded.

“Exactly.” He confirmed, “So what slots are available?”

“Well sir,” she said playing along again, “we have 5pm or 7pm available for Y/N. Tomorrow we have 11am, 2pm, or 5pm.” She said and he hummed pensively.

“Hmmm, I think I’ll take the 7pm today.” He said and she grinned and nodded.

“Perfect, I’ll put you on the schedule.” She giggled and he grinned.

“Great. Thanks, Rosa.” He thanked her and walked back to the studio. He finished setting up for his appointment with Ria and then got to working on the stencil.

Harry was excited for his appointment with Y/N though. All day, he thought about the placement he wanted for this tattoo, he roughly knew the size of it, but the more he thought about it the more he decided that he wanted to speak to her about it first and see what she had envisioned for it when she drew it. Around 2:30 in the afternoon Andrew called him that his motorcycle was ready and Y/N drove him over, it wasn’t too far from the shop and after he came back from that, the day escaped him. Now he was cleaning up his station after a walk-in, it was about his tattoo time. Rosa came to the back and smirked at Harry before she went up to Y/N to inform her she had one last tattoo for the day.

“Oh cool, is it a walk-in?” She asked.

“No, it’s an appointment for one of the new designs.” Rosa informed.

“Sick, which one?”

“The tiger.” She smiled.

“Oh my god, no way! I was so excited for that one!” She said to Rosa .

“Yeah, the client too.” She grinned.

“Oh OK, are they here already?” She asked with an eager smile and Harry smiled to himself as he disposed of the paper towels he had been using to clean his needles with in the garbage can.

“Yeah, he’s here.” Rosa said again with a grin as she saw Harry coming over quietly.

“What is this little grin about?” Y/N asked with a nervous giggle and just then Harry came up and rested his arm on her shoulder, “Harry, someone made an appointment for the tiger!” She said glancing up at him excitedly.

“Oh yeah?” He asked with a smirk and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Why are you both acting weird?” She asked them.

“Y/N, meet your client, Harry.” Rosa giggled and Y/N’s jaw dropped open.

“Stop playing.” She scoffed as she shoved him away playfully.

“I’m not!” He insisted with a chuckle.

“Harry. Stop.”

“I told you I really liked the design.” He said sincerely.

“What’s going on here?” Vy asked as she came up.

“Harry wants Y/N to tattoo him.” Rosa grinned and Vy smirked at Harry.

“Oh really?” Vy said and Harry rolled his lips together for a moment and Vy raised her eyebrows at him.

“Harry, no way! What if I fuck it up?” She sighed and he shook his head.

“You won’t.” He assured, “I mean, I’ve trained you, haven’t I?” He asked with a mildly cocky grin and she giggled, “And if you do happen to mess up, any one of us can figure something out.” He said and she sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Can we have a moment?” Y/N asked Rosa and Vy.

“G needs to hear about this.” Rosa said walking off and Vy giggled as she trailed after Rosa and Y/N looked up at Harry’s eyes.

“Harry, seriously?” She asked with a small and disbelieving frown and he nodded, “God, now I’m nervous.” She huffed with anxiety and he chuckled lowly.

“Why though? It’s just me.” He said simply. He wanted to reach out and caress her cheek with his thumb, it was tempting.

“Exactly! You’re you!” She giggled.

“And you’re you. And you’re fucking good and I want your art on my body.” He said pointedly and she felt her heart pounding erratically in her chest. Just the way he said it made butterflies swarm through her stomach and it made her want to just kiss his pretty pink lips. Suddenly Auree and G were returning with Vy and Rosa to catch up on this little spark of excitement to the day.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“Of course!” He smiled confidently.

“Jesus, OK.” She exhaled with a timid smile and everyone cheered as she agreed to tattoo Harry, “Let me just go to the bathroom real quick and we can get started.” He nodded and she rushed off. She was nervous out of her mind and as soon as she exited the bathroom G was waiting for her with a grin.

“He so likes you!” He smirked and she rolled her eyes.

“Oh my god, no.”

“He does. And well, if you think of it, this is a little cathartic after everything he put you through you can give him a little pain as payback. It’s cute, really.” He said and she shoved him off playfully.

“You’re so annoying.” She mumbled under her breath as she came back to her station where everyone was standing around chatting with Harry, “Now, I don’t want anyone hovering because I’m nervous enough as it is!” She announced with a nervous laugh and they all grumbled against it, “Please, guys! It’s too much pressure.” She whined in an exaggerated manner and they chuckled, but agreed to just give her space to do her thing. Harry was happy about that though because he just wanted it to be them. If his apartment was properly set up he would have asked her to do it at his place, but alas it wasn’t ready yet so this would have to do for now. Everyone went about their business, stealing glances of them, but not intruding as she had requested. “Do you know where you want it?” She asked him quietly as she spared him a glance.

“Where did you intend for it to go when you designed it?” He asked and she sighed.

“Harry…” she whined and he chuckled.

“What? I want to consider your artistic vision for it. If I hate that I’ll tell you where I was thinking of putting it.” He bargained.

“Fine.” She said, “Come see the size again.” She said and he followed her to the drawing tables and she showed him the tracing she had done of it. It was the biggest one she had done for her new designs. It went a little over a medium size but Auree was cool with it when she had reviewed them, “Is that size good?”

“Yeah. Now where did you envision it when you designed it?” He asked.

“I was really thinking that it would look really cute on an ass cheek.” She said in the most serious tone she could and they both looked at each other before they burst out laughing and he shook his head as she knocked her head back like she usually did when she laughed and clutched at her stomach as she caught her breath, “Ah, I’m funny.” She exhaled and he giggled.

“Yeah, fucking comical. Now seriously tell me.”

“I was thinking upper thigh.” She said and glanced up at him, “What do you think about that?” She asked him.

“Ummm, I was thinking upper thigh too actually.” He said more quietly.

“Sick, we’re in cahoots.” She smiled, “OK, so let me make the stencil, did you want me to shave your thigh for you - like full client experience? Or can you do it yourself?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I can do it. You just finish that up.” He said and she nodded. It took her about 20 minutes to get the stencil ready and she let him look it over once more before got his pants down and got comfy on the chair, she glanced up at him and he gave her a reassuring nod before she laid the stencil down and pressed it against his thigh. It was thick and muscular and she had a primal urge to just get down there and sink her teeth into it and leave a hickey on it; mark it as hers. In a way, she kind of was marking it at hers. Her art was gonna live on it for the rest of his life. She glanced up at him once again and swallowed thickly.

“Are you sure about this? It’s pretty permanent.” She said lowly.

“I’m absolutely sure.” He smiled with certainty and she smiled at him again before getting the machine and getting comfortable on the stool.

His pants were rolled down to his ankles and he felt a tiny bit exposed but he didn’t care, the prettiest girl in the world was about to ink her mark into his skin and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world right now. His spine tingled in excitement as she switched on the machine, he loved getting tattooed and he couldn’t wait for it to be her doing it to him. He watched her for just a moment and then she bit her lip nervously before glancing up into his eyes, his tummy fluttered in excitement and a heat started building inside of him at that innocent little gleam in her eyes.

“Ready?” She asked softly and he nodded almost robotically, “OK.” She whispered before licking over her lips and then focusing on the tiger stenciled into his skin and then she got to work.

She was quiet the first few minutes, really concentrating on getting the outline of it done and then she got to talking with him about his favorite tattoos and they had been at it for about half an hour before she finally asked him why he wanted the tattoo and he was honest, he just really liked it and she smiled at that.

“But I want you to promise me something.” He said and she hummed, urging him to go on, “You’re gonna shelf this design. I want it to be a one of a kind.” He said and she smiled as she continued working.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Come on, years down the line when you’re a seasoned artist and they feature you on some TV show or Inked magazine this’ll be like a seminal piece that you did and you just never replicated it again because it was a special piece.” He said and she hummed.

“And what makes it so special?” She asked with a grin and he smiled.

“You’re doing it on me.” He offered an explanation and she grinned wider, “Not because I’m all that special,” he added in, “but because you’re so special that I wanted one of your first tattoos.” He explained and she smiled more tenderly at that, “But also because I don’t want people to copy it, I want something that’s uniquely yours, you know?” He asked and she fought her smile of giddiness as best as she could, but he noticed it and he was happy that he had made her feel giddy over that.

They took a little break around the hour mark because her hand was getting a little sore, after all it was her first bigger piece and she worked more slowly than the rest of them. During that time everyone else came to check out the progress and with great reason praised her about it. The shop was dead, no one had come in during the time she started and now, so Auree just said they could close up early, there had been plenty of appointments and a good number of walk-ins to make up for an early closure. This made Harry even more excited because it really would just be them. G and Rosa lingered a little bit after they started up again and then left after about half an hour of chatting and looking on from afar.

“So what got you into tattooing?” Harry asked and she smiled.

“My aunt Julie, she’s got like full sleeves.” She explained, “As a kid I just found it so cool.” Y/N explained, “I got into drawing and painting and she told me that she would want to get one of my drawings or paintings tattooed on her. She was always kind of the black sheep of the family, but we were always close.” She said and he hummed, “Wait. You’re not in pain?” She asked out of nowhere since she had started on the final finer details.

“I mean yeah, but I don’t mind it. I enjoy getting tattooed.” He said and she smiled and continued.

“OK, well we were always close and I was around 16 when she got diagnosed with breast cancer. It wasn’t good and she’s been fighting for a while. There was a point where we were prepared to say goodbye, I was 18 then. And her final wish was to have me design a final tattoo for her and I worked on it and ummm, out of nowhere her treatments started working and she got better and ummm I moved in with her for college and took care of her until she was all good to go, or at least as good as it gets. And maybe it was silly, but I made a promise to her that I would tattoo the piece I designed for her on her myself. That’s why when you told me about your grandpa I got a little emotional. She’s kind of been that supporter for me on this journey. Obviously, I finished college, but I was growing my portfolio that whole time and started my Etsy shop. And after graduation I started to search for the apprenticeship and ummm, two years later here I am and she’s been in remissions for almost a year now.” She said with a smile.

“That’s really fucking cool, Y/N. I think she should be your first official tattoo, fuck Ian.” He said and she pulled away to laugh and he chuckled as well.

“Yeah, I want her to be.” She said and he smiled.

She kept working and it was nearing 9pm when he suggested ordering some food and taking another break to eat. She agreed and took advantage to notify Julie that she’d be late again before she was able to finish up. She maybe had about another half hour of work to finish. She was trying to work faster but Harry didn’t seem to mind, he encouraged her to go at a pace that made her feel comfortable. She ate quickly before resuming and Harry assured her she could pick it up as he finished up his own food. He was taking it like a champ, she could see how irritated and swollen the skin was where she was working, but he was doing well. Well, considering the amount of tattoos he had, she expected him to have some endurance.

“What was your most painful tattoo?” She asked.

“I think the laurels on my lower stomach.The butterfly on my stomach is a very close second. That one hurt just a wee bit less.” He said and she chanced a glance up at him. “What?!” She gasped in shock and he grinned and lifted his t-shirt and she saw half of the laurels sticking out from under his underwear and well, apart from his extremely toned abdomen, she saw the large butterfly inked into them. “Jesus, Harry.” She giggled breathily and he grinned, “Did you cry?” She asked.

“A little bit yeah.” He confessed and she smiled, “Why are you smiling?” He asked and she pulled away again to laugh.

“I’m not laughing because you cried during your tattoos, I’m just laughing because you’re bonkers, my guy!” She exclaimed through a laugh and he chuckled, “How do your parents feel about your tattoos?”

“They don’t really care anymore. Like when I got my third one in the span of a month and then the butterfly shortly after they just checked if I was alright. Like psychologically because well, I was moving quite fast.” He chuckled and she smiled, “Obviously to them some of them are a bit questionable, but as long as I’m not fucking up my life they’re fine with my choices. How do your parents feel about yours?” He asked and looked down at the tattoo to see it basically complete and then he closed his eyes and winced.

“Starting to feel it, are you?” She asked and he nodded and grimaced and let out a low groan through a pained laugh.

“Yes!” He chuckled and she smiled, “I shouldn’t have looked!” He said and she giggled.

“We’re almost done. I swear.” She assured and he nodded, “But ummm, to answer your question, my parents are not too happy that I have a tattoo, specially with the size of it. I’ll show you sometime. But ummm…we can talk about it another time. Don’t want to dampen the good vibes.” She said and he nodded in understanding and it fell quiet for a few moments. Only the deep buzz of the tattoo gun and the soft music playing from her phone filled the space.

“God, it always hurts when you know it’s almost done.” He said through gritted his teeth and she giggled.

“That’s a fact. I’m just doing the whiskers, OK?”

“Yeah, OK.” He squeezed his eyes shut and after a few moments she was pulling away.

“All done.” She said and he peeked his eyes open to look down at it and immediately flashed his biggest and prettiest smile.

“Fuck, that’s really good.” He exhaled happily.

“Yeah?” She asked with a bashful smile and he nodded.

“Yeah.” He hummed. A bit of blood was dotting to the surface so she grabbed the little water and antibacterial soap mix and spurted it on his thigh and glanced up at him before wiping over it with the paper towel.

“Ready for it?” She asked and he scrunched up his face and nodded.

“Just do it.” He said and held his breath as she gently wiped at the fresh tattoo, but the texture of the paper towel was rough and still made him tense up, but he didn’t let out a peep.

“Wanna take a look in the big mirror?” She asked and he nodded.

“Can’t waddle over with my jeans like that.” He chuckled and she giggled and grabbed one of his legs to untie his shoe and then the next one. Once they were out of the way she pulled his jeans off the rest of the way and draped them over the seat as he hopped down and headed over to the big mirror to inspect the work. He looked really happy with it and was getting all up in there as she took apart the machine and removed the plastic and continued with wiping down each part.

“Are you happy with it?” She asked him as she continued wiping down the machine parts.

“Fuck yeah! Yes, I fucking love it!” He called back enthusiastically and she spared a glance back at him in just his t-shirt and undies. She tried to not linger too long on the strong structure of the backs of his thighs or his adorable and perky butt, but it was sure tempting to stop and stare. She continued wiping down and disinfecting the machine as he snapped a few pictures of his brand new tattoo and kept admiring it, calling back compliments to her on her work. She felt proud of what she had done, also this was the longest tattoo she had ever done and she was pleased that she had made it through it with minimal breaks. She heard Harry coming back over as she removed her gloves and tossed the paper towels she had used.

“You really like it?” She asked as she turned around, leaning on the edge of the counter of the station, he was just a few feet before her.

“I love it. I really do!” He insisted, “Thank you.” He smiled at her and she smiled again.

“I’m just happy that you’re happy with it.” She said and he came closer to her.

“I really am, I promise you.” He assured as he put his hands on her shoulders and she bit her lip to suppress the gigantic smile threatening to split across her lips. And he smiled and brought his thumb up against her bottom lip, “Don’t hide that pretty smile from me.” He said softly, a small smile of his own played on his lips, “Should be really proud of yourself.” He reassured her and she glanced down out of nervousness and bashfulness.

Harry removed the other hand on her shoulder and placed it right under her jaw and angled her up to look at him. The timid smile melted away from her face as their eyes met. Her fingers tightened around the edge of the counter further in anxiety of what his next move might be. She watched his pupils grow larger as he watched her lips while licking over his own. She was struggling to breathe at this point, she felt light headed and tingly and completely out of control as he leaned in closer until the tips of their noses skimmed together and she let out an involuntary whimper which caused him to grin as their breaths intermingled in the minuscule space between them. She wanted to beg but she couldn’t even speak from how on edge she was. His eyes flickered up to her own for a moment before they fluttered shut and she followed suit as they inched closer together and everything felt absolutely right with the world as their lips met in a tentative and hasty kiss. They pulled back and looked at each other before giving in again and joining in a fiery and much- anticipated kiss.

Harry’s hands grabbed her face tenderly and her hands bunched up into his t-shirt as they moved in sync, the only sound between them was that of their ragged breaths, their lips smacking together in wet little sounds, and soft moans of pleasure at finally relieving the tension that had been building between them. His lips were warm and smooth and eager against her own. Y/N felt like she was floating on a cloud of him, him, him at the feeling of his lips and tongue against her own lips and tongue. He smelled so good and he was so warm, it was coming off him in waves. The entire experience was consuming her. He was a good kisser and all she could do was let him keep going for as long as he wanted. She felt like she was no longer grounded to reality.

Eventually, his hands left her face but only to tighten up at her hips and help her onto the counter as she draped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed his narrow hips between her thighs to pull him closer as their kiss grew deeper and more desperate. Both of their bodies were buzzing and their brains were fuzzy with overwhelm as the pleasure of their kisses sent a wave of warmth rolling through their bodies. Harry was quickly growing hard and he had nothing over him to tone down the feeling of his arousal, so before he lost control and went too far he pulled back from her lips with a soft smack and bated breaths and she pecked his lips once more and he smiled against them.

“Got the smoothest and sweetest lips, love.” He whispered and she felt her entire body shudder at his words and at the feeling of his thumb tracing along her swollen, bottom lip. Without any warning she rolled out her tongue and licked along the pad of his thumb and glanced up into his pretty, green eyes and proceeded to suck it between her lips, her eyes fluttered shut at the slightly salty taste of his skin on her tongue and she moaned softly, she wanted more. Harry groaned lowly as he watched this unfold and his jaw tensed a bit at the sensation of the warm, wet texture of her tongue against any part of his body. He wanted more too. So much more. But not here.

“Fuck, baby…please, need you t’stop that.” He swallowed thickly and her eyes blinked open as she gently popped off to see his eyes clouded heavy with lust and his lip bitten beneath his teeth. He wasn’t expecting her to listen right off the bat, it made him smile at her, “Such a good girl.” He whispered and she smiled and hugged around his broad shoulders to pull him closer so that her lips were up against his ear and his arms were still draped around her hips. She leaned a bit closer and her voice was as light as a tickle but it left him burning like a wild fire as her words processed and echoed in his brain.

“I’ll be your good girl.”

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#writing #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #tattoo harry fic #tattoorry #harry styles tattoos #harry's tiger tattoo #harry enemies to lovers #enemies to lovers trope #harry styles slow burn #harry slow burn #slow burn #0nlythrowharrybeaux #harry styles fluff

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