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metize · 3 years

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Belphegor is Mean

Belphegor x MC (AFAB) smut

Tags: NONCON! Mean Belphie, name-calling, rap3

Summary: “Aren’t you just the dumbest little whore? I manipulated you, I used you, just like that… and ah… seeing you like this makes me want to use you… for another purpose.”

A/N: This is really heavy mean belphie material yall. Know what you're getting into.

“Humans… you really are utterly braindead, aren’t you?” Belphegor smiled at you, asking you a question you couldn’t even answer because of the tight grip on your throat. Both of your hands trying to pull his hand away from your neck, but the lack of oxygen was slowly numbing your senses and making you weaker. “You were too busy lusting after the cute mysterious guy in the attic to wonder that maybe he was there for a reason.” He laughed, mocking your actions and your sympathy. “Aren’t you just the dumbest little whore? I manipulated you, I used you, just like that… and ah… seeing you like this makes me want to use you… for another purpose.”

Belphegor really was a demon, you thought to yourself, maybe the most dangerous all of out of the brothers, his cruel actions were careful, progressive and slow-paced. The Avatar of Sloth mirrored his sin in every way. You blinked and you felt tear rolling down your cheeks, you only then realized you were crying. You weren’t sure if you were crying out of fear, despair or anger. You certainly were distressed, but most of all you were angry at yourself. He was right after all, you underestimated the demon before you, you willingly gave him your support and promised to help him out of the attic. Belphie’s other hand swiped away the tear, shooshing you in feign pity.

“I know, I know… Don’t worry, you won’t need to use your empty, pretty little head of yours right now.” He got closer, speaking softly right into you ear “I want to fuck you while I’m choking the life out of you." Your heart was beating so fast you wondered if he could hear it too. "Ha… I wonder, will you cum for me or will you pass out before you even get the chance?”

His laugh made you shiver, you shake your head furiously, the motion causing the tears to drop from your chin to the floor.

“Belphie you don’t have to do this, come on, we were… we are friends! Please, Belphegor!” You begged, trying to appeal to the bond you shared, the bond you thought you shared.

“Shut the fuck up!” He grabbed your throat and pushed you onto the bed, his purple eyes were dark and you could feel his sharp nails dig into your skin. “What are you even talking about? This is exactly what you wanted, wasn’t it? You want me to ruin you, you always have.” He groped your chest ignoring your protests. When he decided he had enough of you trying to push him away he used his tail to wrap around your wrists and hold them above your head. “Don’t worry I wanted this as much as you… Seeing your pretty face through the bars of the door, dreaming of getting my hands all over you.” He grunted and used his claws to rip your clothes apart, smirking at your tears.

“Belphie stop! Not like this, never like this…” You closed your eyes shut blinking more tears away. His rough hands grabbed your naked breasts now, tugging your nipples and laughing at your reactions.

“You lie so prettily, but your body can’t lie to me. Look at your slutty reactions, look at how much you crave my touch, whore.” He licked your nub and blew on it watching you squirm. “Can’t wait to get used like a good little toy, hm?” Belphegor whispered before cupping your sex over your underwear.

"Belph-" You tried to speak but your voice got caught up in your throat. You took a deep breath but before you could try again he pulled your underwear down and plunged his fingers inside. You couldn't help but moan at the intrusion.

"Are you seeing this?" He laughed as if he just heard the funniest joke. " 'oh no Belphie you're evil and I don't want you to fuck me'" he said in a high pitched voice, mocking you. "If that's true then why are you dripping all over my fingers? Huh?"

You tried to hold back your sounds as he thrusted his digits deeper inside you. He was right, the wet noises resonated in the room and the shame you felt was equal to your arousal. Then his fingers touched your sweet spot in just the right angle and you yelped, a malicious smile ever present on the demon's face.

"You're so pathetic, I can't believe it. You make it all so easy for me..." His fingers were fucking you faster, your breathy moans escaping your lips despite your best efforts to contain them. "Since you were a good little puppet for me I guess I can let you come from my fingers before I use you as my fleshlight."

You once would've mistaken the tone in his voice as pity, but not anymore. He was trying to make it seem as if he was doing you a favor, as he coaxed an orgasm out of you.

"B-Belphie don't make me…! Please…" You begged, but he showed no mercy, his pace only getting rouger and your climax getting closer.

"You're the one who's going to come for her future murderer. I'm not making you do anything. I guess you just can't take it anymore, you're a dirty whore and you want to cum for me." He shrugged noncommittal "So just fucking do it already."

So you did, you came around his fingers screaming his name and hated yourself for it. He seemed pleased with it, he withdrew his fingers from inside you.

"Ugh…" he looked at his slick covered fingers with disgust before pressing them against your lips "clean your mess up, I don't want my hand smelling of a human's cunt."

You just accepted it, hoping it would be over, even though you knew very well this wasn't the whole plan. You confirmed it as you felt his cock prodding at your entrance. The head of his member was gathering the slick and you moaned as it stimulated your oversensitive pussy.

"Dumb slut can't even shut up when I'm trying to get off, tsc… such a pain…" he groaned annoyed before pushing his cock inside you with one swift trust.

You screamed his name as you felt his whole length fitting perfectly inside you. You sobbed at the feeling of being full of him, your tears stinging your eyes.

"Stop crying, you look pathetic" he grunted thrusting further inside you. He then leaned closer and licked the tears streaming down your cheeks. "...gross." and he spat on the floor next to you.

When he started moving his hips, hitting all the right places. You wanted to push him away, you couldn't bear the thought of coming for him a second time. You tried to wriggle your wrists to get his tail to stop restraining them. And suddenly his hand was around your throat.

"Stay fucking still already." He grunted "You are a toy, toys don't move, toys don't struggle." He punctuated his statements with his thrusts. His grip on throat tight as you moaned at his rough treatment. "Worthless human can't do anything right."

His pace was quickening as he tightened the grip on your neck.

"Cum for me again and I may let you live… do it slut." You couldn't breathe, your hands trying desperately to grab something to hold onto. "Fucking do it!"

"B-Belph-!" You screamed as you came around his cock. Your vision going black for a second before he finally released your throat. You immediately try to catch your breath but you couldn't stop moaning as he kept on fucking you.

"How obedient… how absolutely fucking stupid." He smiled, his pace faltering as he got closer to coming. "Fuck… Stupid human cumdumpster… take it… take my cum… ah!" He grunted and you cried as you felt the hot spurts of cum filling you. His hips stayed still as his tail let go of your wrists.

You immediately bring your hands to your face to cover your eyes in shame, horror, anger… sobbing underneath the demon and you could hear him chuckle darkly at your pitiful display.

#obey me belphegor #belphie smut #belphegor smut #obey me smut #obey me swd #obey me fanfic #obey me headcanons #omswd belphie #omswd belphegor #belphegor x mc #belphie x mc

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disaster-bay-leaf · 3 years

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Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

#smadhuman being pure af #bay answers #long post #very long post #ask #asks

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kangtaebins · 3 years

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Weird Asks That Say A Lot

I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says

2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel

7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person

9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why

10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,,

12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist

13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring

14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!

15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh

16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3

18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold

19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything

21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters

22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation

23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it

24. Favorite crystal? Citrine

25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat

28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande

29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard

30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable

32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble

33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"

34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC

35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth

37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!

39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭

41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))

42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%

44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-

47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why

49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible

51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe

52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans

53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished

54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious

55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?

56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun

57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with

58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches

60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."

62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked

63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh

64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO

65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister ��🏻‍♀

66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔

67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet

68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely

70. Left or right handed? Right

71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag

72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-

73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it

75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten

76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes

77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents

78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station

79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure

80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more

82. PC or console? PC

83. Writing or drawing? Both

84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely

84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie

85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales

86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s

87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love

88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother

89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family

90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀

91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!

93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀

94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures

95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨

96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu

97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5

98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))

#idk what to put in the tags so if you actually read all of these then damn you're the real mvp

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wayves-domain · 4 years

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Miku Expo 2020 post but it’s too late.

Whoops

Anyway, HOLY SHIT this was a ride!

I won’t be listing all songs because this is already late, I’ll be covering the ones that stood out to me the most.

Let’s dive in!

Dang there were a lot of people! I managed to get a bit closer in the crowd than this pic so that was nice, still wasn’t able to see much due to me being a 5’2 gremlin.

Song list was a little different from London, Paris and Berlin tho. I went all researchy to know all the songs and we get songs I never thought I would hear live. And I LOVED it!

First off we got Miku’s Resonance (instead of Raspberry Monster) and I was singing along, without realizing it was one of my FAVORITE SONGS!

Oof, terrible pic right? Sorry about that.

Moving on to Rin!

While those three countries got Sweet Magic, Amsterdam got Kokoro, and I was living. That was my favorite F2nd song so of course I knew it by heart

It’s the best photo I got from the song. I love this dong so fucking much

Then we got, instead of Dappou Rock (the other countries), Butterfly On Your (Right) Shoulder. I was vibing so hard I forgot to take pics. Fuck.

ANYWAY

Moving on to the others because there’s so many Miku songs and I won’t be able to add that many pics on mobile!

Remote Controller! GOD I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG

It reminded me of me wanting to be able to shut my brother up when he’s gaming (it still does).

Meiko and Kaito! I got to see Remade Blue Longing (loving that putfit girl ) and Attakaito and I was so happy! These songs really checked my vibes though, ad I did not know them word for word, so I yelled in gibberish most of the songs...

Hurrah for my bad as fuck iPhone cam and ruining Kaito 😭

Two Luka songs! Never Die made me cry more than I wanted and after that one (RIGHT after that one) came Even If It’s Your Happiness which sounded so beautiful

Later on we got Jump For Joy, and I got a good pic of two (2) girlfriends

After that, a bit more serious...

The wowaka tribute. I’d like to take a moment to say how much Wowaka has meant to me. I might not have known him personally, but his music helped me through tougher times, songs like Rolling Girl and World’s End Dance Hall were one of the first songs I ever listened to when joining the fandom over 5 years ago. Rest in peace Wowaka. You won’t need to keep on rolling anymore. 💔

*wipes away tear irl* well then, let’s continue. After his tribute, we got Unhappy Refrain instead of Rolling Girl, which was a huge surprise to me, but tears were shed nontheless. They even projected crescent moons at the end of the concert, but I wasn’t able to photograph them in time. However, they’re in my photographic memory forever, and they were beautiful.

Hibana Hibana Hibana Hibana!!!!

I can’t even describe how hard I screamed when I heard the opening notes! All the people yelling nanananana were amazing, the good vibes were in the room. And what made it better is that it’s in the new Mega39’s, so when the game releases in europe I’ll be damned if I don’t get it.

Ohedo Julia Night was a blast! When Miku blasted those drums I happily drummed along, almost hit someone while doing so, whoopsies.

After that the bad got introduced with was amazing!

Decade, last expo’s theme was played, it was really great!

Hm, what else? Oh! I know!

BRING! IT! ON! That’s right, Giga’s Bring It On was live and HOLY FUCK I downloaded the song immediately on the way home, what a banger

Thank you random glowstick for ruining Rin...

After that, the last song and this year’s theme Lucky Orb played and EEEEE I LOVE THE OUTFIT!

That’s it for my two month late review on Miku Expo 2020, hope yall can forgive my evil camera

#p rambles #miku expo 2020 #miku expo #sorry it’s so late #irl stuff interfered

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turtlesoupstories · 7 years

Text

Retrouvailles (4/4)

hello friends, it is finally here, the final part of our 500 follower collab fic! this is my second take on it, i just wasn’t happy with the first one but i’m so proud of this one. the first one was 10 pages and so is this one, so yall are in for a ride. thank you so much for all your feedback and kind messages they mean everything to us! i really hope you guys enjoy it!

as always i want to thank my other ladies: kaitlyn, marlo, mikayla for helping me come up with ideas and editing this fuckin novel.

you can find the previous parts of retrouvailles here

and be sure to check out the amazing drawing that @outlanderedandoverhere so kindly made for us!

see you all on the flip side 😏

-shannon ( @internallydeceased )

Two Years Later… Boston, Massachusetts

Claire stared into the deep amber liquid of the whiskey that swirled in her glass, half hoping that the tiny tornado she created would suck her up and spit her out somewhere else–anywhere else.

“Are you even listening to me, L. J.?” Joe–her one true friend and confidant–nudged her with his elbow, pulling her from her reverie.

“Hm? Sorry, what were you saying?” Claire replied, her head jerking up to meet his eyes, cheeks flushed in humiliation.

Joe chuckled, “It’s fine, don’t sweat it.” He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling as he did so. “I asked if you were alright–something on your mind?” He took another swig of his drink, eyebrows raised over the rim of the cup in anticipation.

Her hands lay in her lap, grappling with each other as anxiety and guilt washed over her all at once.

She stared at her hands, trying to focus on anything other than the emotions that plagued her. Tears welled up in her eyes as the memory of a young boy flitted across her consciousness.

Joe placed a large hand over both of hers comfortingly, assuring her that he was–and always would be–there for her.

“Claire, you know you can tell me.”

She laughed shortly. “You know, I can’t seem to remember you ever calling me that before.”

Looking up at him, she watched as he shook his head. “Well, there’s a first time for everything,” he joked, but his face turned serious as he nodded, signalling her to continue.

Claire took in a long shaky breath, closing her eyes for a moment in an attempt to gain her composure.

“I can’t stop thinking about him… or his mother. Joe, I’ve never had a patient die on me. Ever. And with that, I feel like I could’ve—should’ve—saved him…” She trailed off, her voice choked on the sobs that threatened to break through.

She finally looked up at him, her eyes glassy with tears. “It’s all my fault, Joe. A mother now has to live without her child because of me. I killed him.” She finished, voice cracked with emotion, and she leaned onto Joe’s shoulder—thoroughly and completely falling to pieces.

Joe pulled her into his chest, silently shushing her and drawing soothing patterns on her back with his hand.

“Do you want to step outside for a minute?” He whispered, taking note of the scattered curious eyes lingering on them. She nodded, taking his hand as he lead them out of the comforting warmth of the bar and into the bitter cold of a December night.

She was still sobbing, her breath coming fast and short as she continued to lose control of her emotions. Joe turned towards her, forcing her to look up at him.

“Lady Jane, you can’t save everyone. It wouldn’t have made a difference if you’d gotten there an hour or, hell, even a minute sooner. Sometimes things happen that we can’t prepare for, and there isn’t a damn thing we can do about it.”

“I’ve been able to save people before,” she murmured shakily into his chest. “Even when all the odds were against me, I was able to turn it around somehow. But not with him.” Shaking her head slowly, she could hardly begin to think about anything else, besides that it was her fault he lay cold and lifeless in a morgue instead of outside and alive, living his life with his family. There were so many things that he could no longer do, and now these things plagued her, lingering close behind her like a ghost.

Joe placed his hands on each of her shoulders, squeezing her hard enough so that she’d look at him. “Listen to me. You’ve been lucky, luckier than anyone I’ve ever known—but there isn’t a surgeon on this planet, no matter how lucky, that can save every patient that walks through their door.” He exhaled and dropped his arms from her shoulders so that they lay limp at his sides. “There will always be losses that stick with you, especially your first.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.

Claire noticed that Joe was no longer present, his mind taking him to another time and place. She whispered softly, “Yours?”

“I was in my third year of residency. A woman came in with flu-like symptoms: she’d been sick for months, and her condition remained the same. I knew that it could’ve been anything—but I was so sure it wasn’t anything serious.” He paused, looking off into the distance, remembering. “I examined her, took some tests. But I failed to see something that seems so obvious now. I had expected it to be so easy, but…” He trailed off, unable to say the words that remained trapped in his throat.

Instead, she finished for him. “It wasn’t.”

“No,” he murmured, still far away. “It wasn’t.”

“What happened?” Claire inquired after another long pause.

He looked up at her, his eyes soft in the dim light of the street lamp, illuminating the tears that threatened to fall.

“We had her stay a few hours longer, just in case something unusual were to happen. But it wasn’t until I went over the tests and mentally ran through the list of symptoms again that I realized what I had missed: Leptospirosis—”

“Weil’s disease,” she’d said, mostly to herself.

He nodded. “By the time we figured out what it was, it was too late. I did everything I could to save her but… there was nothing I could do for her. By the time she came in, her liver was already failing. The damage had already been done, and no one could’ve saved her, L. J. No one.”

Tears silently streamed down his cheeks, the guilt weighed on him, even now, despite the fact that he knew there was nothing else he could’ve done. Wiping his face to clear the few fallen tears, he took a deep breath and turned his attention back to his friend.

“With every life saved, another is lost. It doesn’t matter what we do to try and change that. There will always be death and there will always be life, no matter how hard we try to avoid it.” He smiled, squeezing his friend’s hand, “But it’s easier on the mind to focus on those we have saved, while letting the memory of those lost live forever in our minds.”

Claire swallowed and nodded, beginning to understand. The message was simple: she’ll always blame herself, but that’s okay. Focusing on the positive is more important, in order to keep her sanity.

Joe let out a light chuckle, placing his left hand on her shoulder and leading them back into the bar. “I don’t know about you Lady Jane, but I need a drink.”

The farther and farther into the drink Claire got, the more prevalent the boy’s death became. She tried to listen to Joe’s words, to let him live on in her memory and focus on others, but she couldn’t. A lingering thought was ever-present in her mind, hovering over her like a bee to a flower: that boy reminded her of someone she had known, a long time ago.

She had tried so hard to leave everything behind, to shove all her memories in a box and leave them in the back of the closet. But he was all she ever thought about, ever since she returned to Boston. Despite finishing medical school, earning her degree and finally living her dream as a surgeon, he always lingered in the back of her mind.

Deep down, she understood why Geordie Campbell’s death had resonated so strongly with her—she had just refused to admit it. She’d thought that if she ignored it, it would eventually go away and she could move on. But she should’ve known better.

A few months after she graduated, she tried dating again. The men came and went, none of them coming close to the feeling she had felt with him, the truest love she had ever found in her life. After her fifth or sixth failed date, she began to think that she’d be alone for the rest of her days.

Eventually, she just threw everything she had into work, spending so much time in that damn hospital that she might as well have lived there. Yet no matter how much time and effort she focused on the other aspects of her life, Jamie was always there, like a chain you just can’t shake free.

That day when the boy died on the table—in her hands—she lost herself completely, having to leave the room and stay in the break room for the rest of the night, her heart finally giving into the harsh truth she’d ignored for two long years:

She did want him, love him, miss him. And more than anything in her life, she wanted to be with him. Many a time she’d gone online, looking for flights to Paris; but as soon as she’d get to the book flight button, the fears and doubts nagged at her.

What if he hates me and never wants to see me again? Does he resent me, now, for leaving him after he spilled his entire heart out to me? What if he’s already moved on—with a girlfriend or, hell, married with a family? Could I live with myself if I broke apart a happy marriage? What if—

“Can you shut up for one second?” She muttered to herself, downing the rest of her glass.

The hours passed as the pair drank and talked, reminiscing about their internships and the beginning of their friendship. Joe spoke about his family, some of the odd cases that came into the ER in the last couple of weeks, and generally just laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

“I’ll be right back, just need to use the restroom.” She smiled at her friend—who was on his fourth drink, limiting himself so that he could watch over Claire and make sure she got home safely.

She was halfway to the restroom when she heard her name.

“Claire!”

Her entire body went rigid as she slowly turned to face him. “Frank,” she said in a clipped tone.

Frank smiled, his face sweet and genuine. For a moment, she wasn’t even sure it was the same man she’d known almost four years ago. “I was sitting over there and I saw you pass by, thought I’d ask how you’re doing. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you.”

She narrowed her eyes, searching for the true colors of the man behind this mask of civility. “I’m fine, thank you. How are you and Sandy?”

He beamed at the name, eyes sparkling with something she’d never seen in him before. “We’re getting married, actually.”

“Well, I suppose congratulations are in order.”

He nodded humbly, “Thank you. What about you? Found anyone special?” He inquired as he looked over to where she’d just been sitting, arching one eyebrow as he spotted Joe.

“No,” she laughed, mostly at the notion of her and Joe as a couple. “That’s Joe. He’s my friend and coworker. But to answer your question: no, I’m focusing on my career for now.”

Frank smirked, a crack in the mask. “I see. I suppose some things don’t change.”

She gritted her teeth. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s just funny to see how little people change in the span of three years,” he replied, looking her up and down with hawk-like eyes.

Unsure of his meaning, she instead turned her attention towards the bar and spotting a lone glass, half full with some foreign beverage. She stepped away for a moment before turning back to face him. “Funnily enough, Frank, neither have you.” With a flick of the wrist, she threw the drink at him, whatever alcoholic beverage it was splashing across his face and the top of his shirt.

She smirked triumphantly as she stalked away from him, not one tinge of regret present in her body. The look on his face was four years in the making.

“Shit!” Joe swore, checking the time on his wristwatch. “I’m sorry, L.J., but I’ve gotta get home.” He slipped into his jacket and geared up for the cold that awaited him outside the door. Once he zipped it up, he looked back to Claire, grimacing. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

She smiled, shaking her head in dismissal. “No need, I think I’ll walk. I could use the fresh air.”

His brows knitted together in concern. “Are you sure? If something happens, I-”

“Joe. Go home. I’ll be fine, I promise.” She gave him a reassuring smile and tilted her head towards the door, telling him that it was okay to leave. He hesitated, unsure of his decision, until Claire mouthed the word “go” and he finally left.

Claire turned her attention back to her drink: her second glass of water. She downed it before putting on her own jacket and gloves. Stepping outside into the dark, she noticed how the blanket of white over the ground sparkled when a headlight occasionally passed over it. Snow had begun to fall, microscopic crystals falling from the sky and decorating everything in a thick blanket of ice. She exhaled, watching the cloud of her breath dissipate into the air. The cold bit at her exposed skin, numbing the tip of her nose and the apples of her cheeks. She looked up at the sky before beginning the journey home—she couldn’t make out the difference between the stars and the snowflakes that floated towards her, thinking that perhaps they were one in the same.

The sidewalk was covered in a fresh sheet of snow, perfectly smooth and undisturbed. The streets were completely empty besides the occasional car going by or a light in a store window. Other than that, she was completely alone. In that moment, it was as if she were the only person in the world.

For the first time in a long time, she felt happy—free. Her heart and soul soothed by the smell of pine-trees and the memories of Christmases long past. But there was no feeling of grief or mourning as she thought of them, as there usually was. It was as though her parents were walking along side her, watching over her and keeping her safe. Only, it wasn’t their eyes that she felt on her back as she walked down the sidewalk, feet crunching in the snow underfoot. The hair at the back of her neck stood on end as the euphoria of the memory faded away into something else.

She shoved her hands inside her pockets and began to walk a little faster. If I can just get to the cafe a few blocks away, I’ll be fine, she thought to herself, a plan forming in her slightly fogged mind.

Never once did she look back as she made her way into the cafe, eyes forward and her head down, her rational mind attempting to assure her that the threat wasn’t real. She headed straight for the counter, asking the half-asleep barista for a black iced coffee. After paying for the drink, she stood by the napkin dispenser, heart racing as she could still feel the eyes on her.

Upon calling her name and setting the drink at the end of the counter, Claire grasped it in one hand. Pulling off the lid and turning to the napkin station, as if she was about to pour sugar into the drink, she instead turned and thrust her hand forward, throwing the drink directly in the face of the stranger behind her.

The figure wiped his eyes cautiously, a familiar hand brushing his hair out of his face. Her heart seemed to be stuck in her throat.

“Jamie…”

As any artist would know, they are nothing without a muse. If it doesn’t exist, or it is lost, the purpose of art is lost. Jamie had learned this the hard way, having met and lost his muse within the span of two weeks. His interest in people declined greatly with the absence of her, and eventually found no enjoyment in photographing people at all. Ultimately, he steered away from people altogether, capturing the natural beauty of cities and countrysides instead.

Despite his change in subject, his work was still occasionally featured in galleries and magazines; remnants of the person he once was. Eventually, he decided to leave Paris behind, unable to live in a place where her ghost constantly haunted him with the memories of their time together. The places they were together were the hardest, but in the end, it didn’t matter where he was: his mind would always find a way to work Claire into it, whether they had spent time together there or not.

After leaving Paris about a month after her, he decided to go back to his ancestral home in the Scottish countryside, to spend some time with his family and, ultimately, to heal. He carried his camera everywhere he went, capturing the lush green of the hills and moors of the Scottish summer.

He found it nearly impossible to stay in one place for too long, however, so he took to life on the road: travelling to different cities, countries, and continents. Still, he would avoid photographing the people, and instead focused on the architecture, the landscapes, the skylines. In the end, he realized he was doing it for Claire–rather, for himself to impose Claire into each rolling landscape. Each time he went to a new city, he couldn’t help but picture her there amongst the crowds of people. All around the world he’d traveled, from Morocco to Tokyo to Las Vegas–and everywhere he turned, he’d see her creep around a corner or wave down a taxi. She was always with him, haunting him, never allowing him to forget.

Eventually, he had finally made his way to Boston. Upon arriving, he realized she had said something in the past about the city being her home, but he hadn’t thought anything of it. Now that he was here, however, the presence of her was almost overwhelming. Everywhere he turned, he’d see her face amongst those of strangers: lost in the crowded streets. Throughout the duration of his stay, he spent each day roaming throughout the city, walking through all the neighborhoods that laid within. He visited every place he could think of, hoping that today would be the day–the day that his life would begin again; to reshape the shell of it into the life he truly wanted.

He’d spent his day today wandering around hospital wards, hoping for just the tiniest glimpse of her. Wandering the halls almost like a ghost, he would pace the hallways until someone would kick him out. After the fifth time, the only thing he needed was something that would allow him to forget, at least for a little while.

And walking into the bar, all hopes dashed, he saw her–sitting at the bar across the room, talking and laughing with another man. Seeing the wide smile on her face made his heart sink low in his chest. Had she found someone else?

His eyes were on her the entire night, falling in love with her all over again. The way she carried herself with more confidence than any woman he ever saw, how she threw the drink in a man’s face and still made it look beautiful. The carefree sound of her laugh, reverberating off the walls of the small bar. His stomach fluttered when he noticed her companion leave without her. She was finally alone.

When she left, he had begun to panic. He’d been so afraid that he had missed his chance, worrying about what to say to her instead of actually talking to her; that now, it was too late.

Go after her, the voice inside his head screamed. Go after her!

Instead of calling for her, however, he opted to just follow her down the street. Still unable to say a word, he trailed behind, chastising himself for each minute that passed. Feeling more like a stray dog than a long-lost lover, he followed her into the coffeeshop, finally mustering up the courage to say something.

He opened his mouth to speak when he was met with iced coffee being thrown in his face. It wasn’t what he had planned or expected, but it couldn’t have been more perfect.

He couldn’t help but laugh, the memory of their first meeting replaying in his mind (though, thankfully, this coffee didn’t burn. Suppose she’s learned her lesson). He could hardly believe any of it was happening at all, the pure ecstasy that shot through every cell and fiber of his entire being as he looked at her.

“Claire.”

She’d completely forgotten about the plastic cup she’d been holding that now laid at her feet, rolling side to side and tapping against her foot. All she could do was stare at his face, pinching herself to make sure he was really here.

“What the bloody hell are you doing here?” She breathed, still not fully convinced that this wasn’t just another dream.

Jamie looked down at his feet, feeling as though he were fourteen again, afraid to speak to the girl he had a crush on. “That’s uh… a rather long story.”

“I suppose you could start with why you were following me?”

His eyes were wide, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water as words failed him. She couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on his face, her heart beginning to feel whole again.

“I uh, I ken it wasna right and I beg yer pardon for it but I was just so–” He shook his head and braved a glance at her.

Her eyebrows rose expectantly. “So…?”

“Afraid. I wanted to go over to ye more than anything, but I was afraid ye’d found someone else and moved on I– Christ, just to see ye again! It was as if I stepped outside on a cloudy day, and suddenly the sun came out.” He was beaming ear to ear, his blue eyes crinkling with the joy of it.

Claire could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. It was hard for her to even imagine it: the man she had longed for throughout the duration of their separation, the one she thought about constantly and had tried to forget, was standing there, right in front of her. The fact that he was just as excited and frightened as she was calmed her racing heart.

“I wasn’t sure you’d remember me…” She said absentmindedly, taking a step towards him.

His teeth flashed white as he smiled before digging into his pocket and pulling out a small square of paper–a photo. He took a step forward as well, handing it to her. A laugh escaped his lips when her hand came up to her mouth in shock, the tears that she’d kept at bay streaming down her cheeks. Her own eyes peered up at her from behind the rim of a coffee cup, hair wild around her face. Their very first meeting, the photograph (and the coffee) that had started it all.

“How could I ever forget about you?” He whispered, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek and leaning in to kiss her.

Their first step towards a new life, together.

END.

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