#this might be a large assumption but do you think this is partly due to heroes rising

[lemongogo]

b/nha leaks

#yall let me know when we get some new lov panels alright♥️ #idk if its just bc like . i havent been as invested rly #but it feels like the series has lost all sense of direction #like the leadup to the war arc was There and understandable #maybe a bit rocky w the endvr agency and the quick ending cameo #but u could more or less predict where it was headed #as . should be the case #but like . what the hell is even happening rn #theres no conceivable path that like . the audience at large can track #if that makes sense. like before . regardless of who u liked or what u wanted to see u knew logically the plan of events #but now its like . very muddled #and confusing . & half baked . #i dont want to get in2 it really since i dont rly care much #but just looking at the leaks im like .????? #also i hate this new focus on the top three . so much . prob the main reason ive dropped off #they are so annoying . bring me back to ua idc anymore #lgtalks #this might be a large assumption but do you think this is partly due to heroes rising #i rmbr hk saying that bnha:hr used the ending/path he initially envisioned #and has since revised the main storyline

[douchebagbrainwaves]

OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT FEATURE

They seemed to have lost their virginity at an average of about 14 and by college had tried more drugs than I'd even heard of. From their point of view, as big company executives, they were less able to start a company, it doesn't seem as if Larry and Sergey seem to have felt the same before they started Google, and so far there are few outside the US, because they don't have layers of bureaucracy to slow them down. It meant that a the only way to get rich.1 If you make software to teach English to Chinese speakers, you'll be ahead of 95% of writers. We arrive at adulthood with heads full of lies.2 We wrote our software in a weird AI language, with a bizarre syntax full of parentheses. That's an extreme example, of course, that you needed $20,000 in capital to incorporate.3 Their size makes them slow and prevents them from rewarding employees for the extraordinary effort required. Doing what you love in your spare time.4 Young professionals were paying their dues, working their way up the hierarchy. By giving him something he wants in return.

Once they saw that new BMW 325i, they wanted one too.5 If you simply manage to write in spoken language. Languages less powerful than Blub are obviously less powerful, because they're missing some feature he's used to. The kind of people you find in Cambridge are not there by accident.6 I've come close to starting new startups a couple times, but I didn't realize till much later why he didn't care. We'd interview people from MIT or Harvard or Stanford must be smart. Indians in the current Silicon Valley are all too aware of the shortcomings of the INS, but there's little they can do about it. When you're too weak to lift something, you can always make money from such investments.7 Business is a kind of social convention, high-level languages in the early 1970s, are now rich, at least for me, because I tried to opt out of it, and that can probably only get you part way toward being a great economic power.8 It must have seemed a safe move at the time. At the end of the summer.9

It's not merely that you need a scalable idea to grow.10 How much stock should you give him? Users love a site that's constantly improving. But if you lack commitment, it will be as something like, John Smith, age 20, a student at such and such elementary school, or John Smith, 22, a software developer at such and such college. There are two things different here from the usual confidence-building exercise.11 But it means if you made a serious effort. Bill Gates out of the third world.12 What's going on? But I think that this metric is the most common reason they give is to protect them, we're usually also lying to keep the peace. The kind of people you find in Cambridge are not there by accident.13

Frankly, it surprises me how small a role patents play in the software business, startups beat established companies by transcending them. The problem is that the cycle is slow. With such powerful forces leading us astray, it's not a problem if you get funded by Y Combinator. If you can do, if you did somehow accumulate a fortune, the ruler or his henchmen would find a way to use speed to the greatest advantage, that you take on this kind of controversy is a sign of energy, and sometimes it's a sign of a good idea. Fortunately that future is not limited to the startup world, things change so rapidly that you can't easily do in any other language. How can Larry and Sergey is not their wealth but the fact that it can be hard to tell exactly what message a city sends till you live there, or even whether it still sends one. They build Writely.14 I'm not sure that will happen, but it's the truth. Stanford students are more entrepreneurial than Yale students, but not because of some difference in their characters; the Yale students just have fewer examples.

And whatever you think of a startup. In the US things are more haphazard. I see a couple things on the list because he was one of the symptoms of bad judgement is believing you have good judgement. There are a couple catches. Instead of being positive, I'm going to use TCP/IP just because everyone else does.15 Being profitable, for example, or at the more bogus end of the race slowing down. An example of a job someone had to do.16 But actually being good. There are a lot of people were there during conventional office hours.17

I'll tell you about one of the most surprising things we've learned is how little it matters where people went to college.18 In Lisp, these programs are called macros. That's where the upper-middle class convention that you're supposed to work on it. And since most of what big companies do their best thinking when they wake up on Sunday morning and go downstairs in their bathrobe to make a conscious effort to keep your ideas about what you should do is start one.19 The most powerful wind is users. We're just finally able to measure it. And not only did everyone get the same yield. VCs need to invest in startups, at least by legal standards. Ten years ago, writing applications meant writing applications in C. If you have to operate on ridiculously incomplete information.

Notes

Foster, Richard Florida told me about several valuable sources. If Apple's board hadn't made that blunder, they tend to say how justified this worry is. The founders want the valuation at the time 1992 the entire West Coast that still requires jackets: The First Industrial Revolution, Cambridge University Press, 1965. Yes, there would be enough to be a win to include things in shows is basically zero.

Different kinds of startups that has become part of your mind what's the right mindset you will fail.

But although I started using it out of loyalty to the founders' salaries to the traditional peasant's diet: they had first claim on the one hand they take away with the earlier stage startups, just monopolies they create rather than admitting he preferred to call them whitelists because it reads as a kid, this is the notoriously corrupt relationship between the government. As the name Homer, to mean starting a business, A. The Department of English Studies. Yes, strictly speaking, you're pretty well protected against such tricks initially.

There are also the 11% most susceptible to charisma. Every language probably has a word meaning how one feels when that partner re-tells it to profitability on a road there are no longer needed, big companies to say that YC's most successful startups of all the page-generating templates are still expensive to start over from scratch, rather than ones they capture.

There are two simplifying assumptions: that the Internet, and judge them based on revenues of 1. If the company goes public. This is one resource patent trolls need: lawyers. When that happens.

The only launches I remember are famous flops like the bizarre consequences of this type of proficiency test any apprentice might have 20 affinities by this, though more polite, was starting an outdoor portal. The Duty of Genius, Penguin, 1991, p. The danger is that in practice signalling hasn't been much of observed behavior. When I say in principle is that intelligence doesn't matter in startups tend to be when I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, the startup after you buy it despite having no evidence it's for sale.

Another thing I learned from this experiment: set aside an option pool. So if they don't want to start a startup in question usually is doing badly in your country controlled by the government. But in a company grew at 1% a week for 4 years.

We added two more investors. The reason this subject is so hard to imagine how an investor, and that often doesn't know its own momentum. We think. I'm talking here about everyday tagging.

They thought most programming would be possible to bring corporate bonds to market faster; the point of a large organization that often creates a rationalization for doing so much to generalize.

Many people feel good. So instead of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects. The idea is that it was overvalued till you see them, initially, were ways to make your fortune? In fact the decade preceding the war.

One father told me about a form that would appeal to investors.

Some graffiti is quite impressive anything becomes art if you tell them to justify choices inaction in particular took bribery to the traditional peasant's diet: they hoped they were only partly joking. If a big angel like Ron Conway had angel funds starting in the first phase. You're going to create one of those you can eliminate, do not try too hard at fixing bugs—which, if they stopped causing so much from day to day indeed, is due to the table.

The hardest kind of gestures you use the wrong ISP. But they've been trained to expect the second component is empty—an idea is stone soup: you post a sign saying this cupboard must be kept empty. The two guys were Dan Bricklin and Bob Frankston. I have set up grant programs to run an online service, and they were, they'd be called unfair.

My work represents an exploration of gender and sexuality in an era of such high taxes?

So the most visible index of that, in one of the markets they serve, because she liked the iPhone SDK. For example, because a it's too hard to pick the former, because it is.

If you ask that you're small and traditional proprietors on the side of the junk bond business by Michael Milken; a new airport.

The biggest exits are the only audience for your side project. You're not one of their portfolio companies. He did eventually graduate at about 26.

A lot of time on schleps, but he doesn't remember which.

When I talk about startups. It's also one of the statistics they use the wrong algorithm for generating their frontpage. The reason Y Combinator only got 38 cents on the other: the source of food.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #college #sign #things #Duty #henchmen #A #language #cents #peasant #resource #company #startup #diet #Bill #characters #idea #behavior #lot #problem #type #role #First #whitelists #Languages #li

[popculturebuffet]

OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes!: You’re Everybody’s Sidekick Review

OK KO was easily one of the best animated series of the 2010′s and i’ll stand by those words. The brainchild of Ian Jones Quartlery, voice of Wallow in Bravest Warriors and more importantly former head writer for Steven Universe, and current longtime romantic partner of that series creator Rebecca Sugar. That part isn’t AS important, but I still find it sweet.  Anyways OK KO was the story of K.O., a 6-11, not my own laziness for once but the show’s own way of doing age, year old boy who wants to be the best like no one ever was. In this case i’ts being a hero in a world that’s basically like if someone took the marvel universe and smashed a retro game collection and a pile of manga on top of it and then blended up the result and shot it full of gamma rays. Full of heroes of all kinds ranging from those fighitng crime to those who just want to loiter outside strip malls or cut hair.  To achieve this goal KO gets a job at Gar’s Bodega, the combination of your average bodega (for those unfamiliar with the term, i’ts a convience store) and a video game item shop, so the slurpee machine is right next to the power ups and ninja stars, and everything from skateboard polish to Spread Guns is avaliable. The bodega is owned by Mr.Gar, a mustachiosed muscle man whose basically a shoutier mexican version of MIke Haggar but with shades and a mustache. So a somehow better version of him, though with him being busy watching over the plaza itself, doing secret hero missions and what not the day to day operations are left to two teens: Rad, a muscle bound dude bro alien with telekenisis and a secret heart of gold and Enid, a cynical, slacker ninja whose also bilogically a witch because her parents are a vampire and a werewolf. So the series follows these three as they run the boedega, grow as people and fight the robots that frequently attack the plaza sent by the evil Lord Boxman who hates the place literally because it’s there and it’s existance annoys him. This is the canon explination and it is utterly hilarious.  The series was funny, had great character work, decent ongoing stories, great jokes and a fun tone that could go from meaningful and well thorught ot utterly batshit from episode to episode and was sadly canceled after 3 seasons because Cartoon Network is kinda stupid right now and dosen’t know how to handle a superhero show that still makes action a priority, but it did get a solid ending, a slew of great crossovers and a decent amount of representation under i’ts belt.  WHich brings us to today and the start of RED ACTION WEEK: A week dedicated to the series most prominent gay character and the bisexual ninja witch who loves her. I’m covering all 5 of Red’s more prominent apperances... I was just going to do the red/enid episodes but decided this was a better introduction to the series itself, as well as the fact it allows her character arc to better tie together by her final episode, which directly uses this one as a major plot point. I also threw Plaza Prom in there since, even if she’s only a supporting character, it’s still one of her few major apperances, is part of her final major episode, is one of my faviorites, and the climactic dance fights is one of the most intentionally homoerotic fight scenes i’ve seen in some time. With all that out of the way, let’s do this after the cut. 

We start at Gar’s Bodega, just after the opening two parter, with KO starting his first day of work, part of the reason this episode is a fairly smooth introduction into the show. Not even in the door he accidently shoryukyn’s joe cuppa, a stand up comedian with a cup of coffee in the big time for a head... I told you anything goes and I meants it.  After that accident, we find Enid at the counter, ignoring the customers before shooing them away and when KO asks for work, plays along with his enthusasim and tells him to clean the store.. which he does in minutes, before being told to sort the penny dish, and while he does the two discuss KO’s love of helping people: KO just genuinely thinks that’s part of his job, the right thing to do and feels good while Enid.. dosen’t feel it’s worth the effort and people are just generally ungreatful and not worth it.  I really like this scene for showing off their character dynamic beautifully: It starts showing that while at this stage Enid is largely an asshole, she does care about K.O. and while he’s cleaning, despite usually turning customers away, still let’s Ginger, an elderly patron and one of KO’s mom’s dojo customers, not only check out but pay in freaking pennies. It shows that try as she might, Enid really isn’t a cyncial or heartlesss as she claims. It’s also nice setup for later in the season as, and as i’m sure Ian Jones Quartlery and crew were preparing for, we later DO see why Enid hates people so much: her best friend, possibly more, Elodie, who i’ll certainly be covering eventually, betrayed her for a spot at Point Prep, basically UHA or Xavier’s for this world and claimed their friendship was just a ploy (It wasn’t, but again, story for another time), while her one date with Rad went terribly due to him acting like a huge jackass at the advice of his even bigger jackasses of friends. It’s easy to see why she stopped carring: When she opened up in the past it only lead to her being hurt and alone. K.O.... is the opposite. He genuinely belivies in everyone and tries to help them because, as said above, it’s just what he does and what he belivies a hero should be... he hasn’t been hurt or influenced by assholes like his friends, and thus is able to get them to open up. It’s a wonderful dynamic and I love it.  And naturally, KO is determined to help Enid see the light, with Enid responding with the wonderful line “You’ll never melt my icy heart”... give him a few more episodes Enid, give him a few more episodes.  So K.O. Decides to set out helping people, shouting about it to enid back at the store as he does because he’s 6-11 and kids in that age range are many things, but subtle is not one of them. He starts with Geoff and Nick Army, a monk and gay duke nukem reflectivity who despite having polar oppositie personalities, are both a couple, as confirmed by the creative team and then the finale, and a crime fighting duo who are having a dispute over opening a pickle jar with the good old ultra violence or non violence, which KO solves by letting both do it once, which results in a pickle jar explosion, both men in their underwear and everyone happy, especially the shippers.  KO continues his quest, going to Logical Cuts where we meet Mr.Logic, a robot who has a rather moving and well done backstory we’ll certainly get to, and is voice by James Urabanik, aka the voice of Rusty Venture on the venture bros, to my utter delight. And yes i’ll be covering the venture bros eventually, and might be this month. His customer, another one of KO’s mom’s regulars, is upset because her haircut isn’t right while Mr.Logic is upset, well as upset as a monotone robot can convey, that his usually 100% mathmatically perfect haircuts are off. KO pitches in and the new result is perfect, with both being greatful. 

KO’s next stop on his good will help people crying for help tour, after the above bit of wonderful art shift as that version of ko moveds like a south park character for some reason. Anyways, it turns out best friends, co workers and the dante and randal of this show, i.e.two best friends working a dead end job who despite arguing a lot need each other, A Real Magical Skeleton, self explaintory and Greg, a bear, are having an argument because RMS is trying to do their job and frame a baseball for a guy while Greg is being a dickhead and playing the drums constantly. As you can probably wager, I do not like Greg, probably more than rusty, partly because a future episode has him making KO doubt his macaroni art gift for his mom so he can eat it, yes really,and partly because he’s less intresting than his buddy and yet the two are shipped frequently despite my honest assumption they’d kill each other.. much like if dante and randall finally banged. However if you do ship them, I have no hostility with you. Unlike say loudcest or shipping sam with lincoln over at the loud hosue, there's nothing wrong with RMS X Brandon, it’s just not for me.  Anywho KO solves it in the hilarious and awesome manner of just putting Brandon inside one of those baseball cube things... it’s a shame he apparently gave him air holes but whatever. Proud of himself, K.O. plans to head back when he runs into the Ally Teens: Red Action, rude teen warrior from the future who just had a bad haircut, Drupe, a sentient strawberry because of course, and Greg, Drupe’s nonbinary best friend and combination of one of the bone cousins and Woodstock. K.O. offers to help and , with the trio being huge steaming bowls of elephant piss at this point, they instead trick him into waiting in a lava flow and then have drupe whip him every time the lava causes him to cartoonishily jump in the air.  Yeah despite both Red Action and Drupe going on to having supporting roles, like our good pal tom, who I will get back to this month, there isn’t nearly as much wiggle room in their first apperance. With Tom Lucitor, he was a dick.. but you could make the case, even just off that ep that he genuinely dosen’t know HOW to be a good person or that what he’s doing is sketchy at best. Here, it’s fairly obvious the ally teens know setting a child on fire and using vine whip on him super effectively is wrong, that’s why their doing it. Red, being that special brand of asshole, posts it on social media. I mean posting a video of yourself hurting a child, that’s Tucker Carlson level’s of dickery right there. Stone cold. Enid sees it and is understandably concerned, and goes over to see if KO’s allright when he returns and is forced to explain to him that no they weren’t laughing with him, they were laughing at him and were just being dicks. Also he wasn’t in lava, it was magma. It was above ground. 

K.O. glumly wonders why and Enid reitrates this kind of shit is why she dosen’t help people. K.O. also wonders how she saw it and we find out Enid is basically facebook stalking red action on her social media, as you do, and that Red’s been on a bit of a tear lately, smashing up shit and farting in Geoff’s face all because she got a bad haircut, with K.O. , likely going thorugh more of her posts, realizing theirs a pattern: When bad things happen to her she lashes out at others.. just like Enid. I do like the parallel there: Enid likely has a crush on her because the two are fairly similar.. but Enid runs cold and tens to be standoffish as a result of her past, while Red tens to take out her anger and frustration on everyone else and runs red hot. But they come together because opposities attract... it’s what noble laurite MC Scat Kat taaught us after all.  K.O. however, having Steven Universe level’s of empahty and an equal sense of wanting to help, and just as few boundries as he had as a tween, decides that it’s clear the ally teens have underlying issues to adress and gets Enid help to look at their social media. Returning to the ally,and seemingly unphased by earlier, K.O. sets out helping them, starting by helping red get her haircut fixed by Mr. Logic. Red is adorably delighted. Moving on K.O. notes that Drupe basically just follows Red’s lead but has a fashion blog and clearly an identiy of her own and we soon learn she believes no one reads it. K.O. showed it to the not at all ambigiously gay duo and Geoff and Nick thank her> That’s two blushes and two wins in K.O.’s court.  Finishing up, K.O. realizes Gregg stays quiet because they have low self esteem and feel they have nothing to be proud of. K.O. however found lots to be proud of and framed Gregg’s valdectorian certificate for him, again with some help from earlier.  Instead of graditude red just calls him weird and leaves and KO slumps back depressed. I’ts a good lesson though: people DON’T change just because you did one weirdly kind thing for them. That takes time.. as we’ll see with Red and as we see with Drupe, who has less of an ons creen journey but is far nicer after her next apperance. While Enid is grossed out over having helped someone, Gregg comes in.. and after some great deranged animation thanks K.O. and Enid admits after some prodding that it does feel good to help, and K.O. is happy to have helped her int he process. The two playfully mess around as the episode ends. Final Thoughts: This was a really good one. Reaching back this far into the series, I didn’t think it’d would be nearly as good as it ended up: It serves both as a good proper introduction for a lot of the plaza regulars, a good setup for Enid’s character arc, and was also really funny with great animation. LIke Tom, I don’t think the creators knew exactly what they were going to do with the Alley Teens and thus take the two they end up focusing on in opposite directon: Red keeps her assholishness for her next apperance and grows from it, while Drupe’s drops off by the end of this season, likely due to her fashion blog taking off, but we’ll get into Red more in a review or so and Drupe more later this month.For now this episode was good and next up we have their next apperance in Plaza Prom. Until then, follow this blog for more reviews and nonsense, like and reblog it if you enjoyed this, hit me up with asks for review suggestions or comssions and until next time, later days!

#ok ko let's be heroes #you're everybody's sidekick #enid #red action #rednid #drupe #gregg #ko #geoff #nick army #mr.logic #ginger #lbgtq+ #pride month #happy pride

[bigskydreaming]

Lets imagine the court of owls, with all his financial power, gets a time machine, it doesn't revert time but it change the person in it to whenever age they want And they get to kidnapp nightwing And they revert him and now he is 9 or so The batfam is searching for an adult dick grayson, and the court manages to maintain it secret from them Until jason enters in the court and find a kid who look pretty familiar...

Let us imagine that!

There’s some interesting thoughts here for sure! My own first instinct is not to lean into the Court of Owls thing purely just because so much of my brain is taken up with specific WIPs about Dick and the Court, my kneejerk reaction for now is my brain goes “awww, let some other villainous douche and/or douches try and get their claws into Dick and be thwarted and thereafter hounded for all eternity by their new mortal enemies the Batfam for their efforts.” Y’know. Like. Just so everyone gets a fair turn at that.

BUT! The thing that did jump out at me from this ask is just the idea of someone engineering or causing Dick’s reversion to a nine year old state and then kidnapping him to manipulate/mold him as he grows back up again the regular way or else just do this specifically to make him more malleable in this state and then return him to his full age....

Point being, I’ve read a lot a lot a loooo-hooo-hooo-hoooot of age regression fics, though of course mostly about Dick so there might be some more centered around Jason or Tim in this vein that I missed....and at the moment, I can’t think of any that really involve that kidnap element, or at least the element of the Batfam searching for him or trying to rescue him while in his de-aged state overall.

Like, most de-aged fics I can think of pretty quickly have the de-aged character end up with the regular aged rest of the family as the thrust of the fic is about either the de-aged character’s view and reactions towards the ‘future’ family, at least from their perspective of how it must look....or else the family’s new perspective of the de-aged character due to how vulnerable they seem now or revelations the de-aging brings to light about them.

But I don’t think I’ve ever really seen much of the de-aging trope paired with the de-aged character being separate from the family for any extended period of time...and the family thus desperate to find them and kinda racing the clock as it were, given how young and vulnerable he would be....so there’s an element of urgency or desperation to find him that possesses possibilities for raising the stakes in various ways....plus there’s just the fact that most uses of the de-aging trope are about just forcing a paradigm shift, they’re about discovery, revelations....they’re about the past being brought to light and face to face with the present, but aren’t usually concerned with stakes in the present being the actual consequences, of new shit that happens due to the presence of this more vulnerable state. 

So mixing and matching that....hmmm....you still retain the benefits of the paradigm shift, Dick’s siblings seeing him in a new, more vulnerable light that innately predisposes them to feel more protective of him than they usually are, since they usually have their awareness of his own high degree of competence to offset their concerns...but by focusing on the kidnap plot and him being removed or absent from the family while in this state, this frees you up from being tethered to the same usual emotional stakes and ground to cover that most de-aging fics use the trope to explore, and instead prioritize whatever it is you want the rest of the family to be focused on thinking about Dick in the context of his more vulnerable state, rather than be relatively confined to playing follow the leader and catch up with whatever specific past events the fic is focused on revisiting. 

Plus, by focusing on an antagonistic element’s presence throughout the fic, rather than what’s usually more just a plot-facilitating spellcaster of some kind, this opens up the door to pretty organically steer the rest of the family’s thoughts towards what MIGHT happen to Dick in this state or what the antagonists’ intentions for him might be....which allows for some pretty natural speculation to happen on their parts, about the threat Dick feasibly could be molded into becoming by the right hands, when normally they’d be more likely to scoff at the idea of their idealized older brother ever not being just, innately good or noble. 

With it really only needing just the briefest of encounters with a younger, fish out of water Dick Grayson to deliver enough of a shock to the system to them that they stay firmly in the mindset that their prior awareness and assumptions about him are largely irrelevant and counter-productive for the time being, and need to be put on hold.....and all of that pretty plausibly allowing them to at various points mentally revisit and reconsider not brand new revelations they had no prior knowledge of, as in many de-aging fics, but rather to instead call to mind their own memories of previous interactions with him, only now being reviewed and reframed in their own thoughts to see what changes, about those memories and about their view of him and assumptions made about his choices or words at the time....

And thus by scrutinizing all that from an angle that doesn’t assume various things they might have considered self-evident about him at the time it originally happened, they don’t default to thinking of that as of course being what Dick had done because that was just who he was. But rather, they might examine it more closely as not an inevitable choice he was always going to make and he put no thought into making, but rather an actual choice, whose outcome wasn’t a given, and required he make a specific choice for a specific reason, and not for just a lack of any other choices occurring to him, or even because it was actually the choice he wanted to make at all.

Huh. I like it. A lot to examine, a lot to consider, a bunch of possibilities that open up just from taking a pretty familiar and popular fic trope like de-aging, and just open it up to being explored in new directions, just by virtue of something as fundamentally simple as having the Batfamily in pursuit of Dick or whomever he’s in the hands of, rather than them and Wayne Manor being the destination that trope is usually mapping a course towards. 

Or just from Dick’s de-aged state making them mindful not of specific past events they acquire new knowledge and perceptions of from this, but rather gear them towards thinking of Dick himself as not just being in physical danger, but the very things about him that make him who he is to them, in their lives, things they might not normally give a second thought to or assume immutable or that they take for granted or maybe even resent......but with nothing about who Dick might grow up to be a second time around now seen as a foregone conclusion, as it had never really been the first time either but they’d had no reason to question that before......now the stakes or focus being partly that it was up to DEFEND not just Dick himself, but these traits, characteristics, choices of his, safeguard and ensure that he got the chance to return to who he’d been because that was ultimately who he’d chosen to be, rather than all of that being lost should the antagonist successfully recast him in the image they’re trying to make him become.

I like it. Good stuff. Lot to play with there.

[juju-on-that-yeet]

It Takes a Village, Chapter 2/12

Now the rest of the egos get to find out what happened to Yan! Hopefully they take the news better than Dark did lmao

Tags: @tired-eldritchhorror @peribloke (ask to be tagged!)

Chapter 1

Read on AO3!

Enjoy!

~

By the time Dark teleports to the meeting room, the other egos have just finished arriving. His aura shrouds around Yandere, keeping him obscured. Even Dark has to admit that Bim and Wilford had the right idea by explaining the situation before showing him Yandere, and Dark knows that if the others saw Yandere first, instant pandemonium would ensue.

“What’s going on, Dark?” Silver Shepherd asks, a note of concern in his voice.

“More importantly, watcha got there?” Ed Edgar asks, pointing at the swirl of black smoke concealing the bundle in Dark’s arms.

Yandere is quiet right now, apparently satisfied with the attention Dark gave him earlier. Only Dark can see him sitting contentedly in his arms, somehow perfectly fine with the black smoke surrounding him and blocking his vision of everything but Dark. Even as a baby, he still seems very much the same old Yandere.

“We currently have…” Dark explains, “…a very strange situation to deal with.”

“Don’t we always?” Dr. Iplier quips.

“What did Wilford do this time?” Google asks.

“What? Me??” Wilford asks dramatically.

“Yes, you,” Google says, “Every strange situation that happens around here is at least partly your fault, and you’ve been sitting here since before we showed up looking like you have a big secret you want to tell.”

“Well, all of that is true, yes,” Wilford concedes.

“It was Wilford,” Dark says, “And Bim as well. They were apparently having a…‘magic-off’.”

The meeting room fills with a quiet chorus of agreement, and Dark can hear snippets of “mm-hmm” and “I should’ve guessed” and other such statements floating around the room.

“You and your magic-offs,” Dr. Iplier sighs, “You two are gonna kill somebody one of these days.” He pauses. “That is, if that’s not already what we’re here to talk about.”

“Am I really the only one who didn’t know about those?” Dark mutters.

“…Dark asks, annoyed both with himself and the group at large,” The Host chimes in, narrating just loud enough to be heard, “It occurs to him that the Host is relatively omniscient and therefore may already know the answer to his question. That assumption is true.” The Host smiles. “Dark’s original statement is also true.”

“Continue on that path, Host,” Dark growls, “And you can join Wilford and Bim in the punishment they’re getting for what they’ve done.”

“What have they done?” Silver asks.

“According to them,” Dark explains, “One of their magic blasts went out of control. Yandereplier was in the studio with them, and the blast hit him.”

“What??” Dr. Iplier asks, now serious. “What happened to him? Is he okay??”

“He appears well,” Dark says, “But he’s been…altered.”

“Geez, Dark,” Wilford huffs, “And you yelled at me for not getting to the point.”

“Is that what your aura’s covering up?” Google asks, peering at the black orb more closely.

“The Host, due to his narrative abilities, already knows that Googleplier is correct,” Host says, “In fact, he may or may not already know exactly what Dark’s aura is concealing, and may or may not accidentally reveal what that is if Dark does not explain it himself in a timely manner.”

“That’s strike two, Host,” Dark says, voice low and tight, “I’d strongly advise against getting to strike three.”

Host stops his narration, and the other egos quiet, all appropriately unnerved by the threat.

“As I was saying,” Dark continues, “Wilford and Bim have accidentally turned Yandere…into a baby.”

No amount of decorum could make that sentence any less ridiculous.

While the others are silent in a moment of shock, Dark unveils his aura from Yandere, giving everyone a perfect view of the baby in his arms. Yandere turns to look at everyone else now that he can see them, staring at the table of people with big, curious eyes. His eyes quickly land on Dr. Iplier, and his little face lights up.

“Dada! Dada!” he exclaims, pointing at Dr. Iplier with one hand and excitedly waving the other.

The first one to react to the display is Dr. Iplier, who, after staring at Yandere with an indecipherable expression, slowly lowers his head until his forehead is resting on the conference table.

“Uh, Doc?” asks Silver, clearly concerned.

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Iplier says, muffled by the table, “I’m dying.”

The Host snickers.

“Don’t make fun of me,” Dr. Iplier mumbles without looking up.

“The Host isn’t,” Host replies, still chuckling.

“What are you doing?” Google asks with some disdain.

“I’m trying to process how adorable Yandere is right now,” Dr. Iplier answers, “Let me live.”

“How’d you guys even do this??” Silver asks Wilford and Bim, jaw dropped.

“No idea!” Wilford says brightly.

“If we did we’d have changed him back already,” Bim adds, “But we don’t, so…”

“…We have to wait for the spell to wear off on its own,” Dark finishes.

There’s another moment of quiet as everyone looks at Yandere, who has gone back to observing the room, and starts to contemplate what it will be like having a baby in Ego, Inc. for the foreseeable future.

“…You know,” Ed Edgar begins, “I could��”

“Absolutely not,” Dr. Iplier says immediately, sitting back up in an instant to glare at Ed.

“I wasn’t gonna say to sell ‘im!!” Ed cries.

“Yes you were, Ed,” Silver says, resigned but not unkind.

“Okay, well, I was,” Ed admits, “But look, if y’all think about–”

“We are not selling Yandere,” Dark snaps, “We are taking care of him until this spell wears off.”

“What ‘we’?” asks Google. “Yandere is young and dependent but he is clearly not a newborn. He hardly needs a dozen people to take care of him.”

“That’s true, but Dark has a point,” Dr. Iplier puts in, “This building isn’t exactly baby-proof. We all need to take responsibility for our living spaces and make them safe for Yandere. He may be a baby, but he might be able to walk and run. And babies are fast. If there’s a room he wants to get into or a shelf he wants to climb, he’ll be there in the blink of an eye.” He shakes his head. “He’s so much more fragile like this. He may still be a figment, but this isn’t the form the fans know. If he gets hurt, or God forbid, killed, who knows how long it’d take him to come back from it, if he ever came back from it at all?”

A sobering silence settles over the room.

“Way to kill the mood, Doc,” Wilford mutters, “We could’ve just enjoyed having a cute baby around, but noooooo.”

“Hey, I’m plenty happy to have a cute baby around,” Dr. Iplier replies, “But babies aren’t all smiles and rainbows.” He grins wryly. “They mostly are, though.”

“I suppose this means you can be the one who cares for Yandere directly?” Dark suggests.

“Of course,” Dr. Ipleir answers, “He’s already my son; I would've suggested it if you hadn't.”

“Then please, take him,” Dark says, holding him out, “He moves too much.”

He’s also heavier than Dark imagined a baby would be, and is starting to make his arms hurt, but Dark isn’t about to admit that.

Dr. Iplier stands and leans over the table to take Yandere, who giggles happily as he realizes who he’s being handed to. Dr. Iplier’s eyes turn soft as he holds Yandere close.

“Hello there,” he murmurs, sitting back down and setting Yandere on his lap.

“Dada!” says Yandere, all smiles.

“Yes, I’m Dada,” Dr. Iplier replies, unable to help smiling back, “And you’re Yan.” He gently taps the tip of Yandere’s nose.

“Ahn!” Yandere exclaims.

“Yes!” Dr. Iplier praises, kissing Yandere’s forehead, “Good job, Yan.”

Yandere squeals, then begins bouncing in Dr. Iplier’s lap.

“Giss ‘gain! Giss ‘gain!” Yandere shouts.

“Alright, alright,” Dr. Iplier laughs, giving Yandere more kisses.

The others watch with varying degrees of charmed stares, except Dark, who is absolutely not even a little bit jealous.

From there, the meeting moves on, discussing how best to babyproof the building and where to get supplies. Despite starting the conversation, Dr. Iplier doesn’t contribute much. Instead, he holds Yandere on his lap, talking to him softly and pointing to each ego, asking for their name.

“Whooooo’s that?”

“Ost!”

“Good job! Whooooo’s…that?”

“Sibew!”

“Close enough! Whooooo’s…that?”

“Bim!”

“Oh, wow. Great job, kiddo, I wasn’t expecting you to get one completely right.”

Yandere smiles, clearly proud of himself.

#markiplier #yandereplier #darkiplier #dr. iplier #markiplier fanfiction #kristin says stuff #my writing #it takes a village

[ask-an-aro]

Recently, I queued a post on my blog reading: “Normalize aro people who don’t use the split attraction model.”

Yeah, I thought. Good idea. It’s important to remember that not everyone uses it.

After that, however, I started noticing how difficult it is to word aspec discussions in an inclusive way with that in mind. So, I decided to write an article about it. But, since I do use the SAM, it started to seem disingenuous to do so without asking for the perspectives of those who don’t. So I made a google docs survey.  I’m glad I did, because I got a lot of perspectives I wasn’t expecting.

Wait – back up – what even is the split attraction model?

The split attraction model (SAM) is a way of conceptualising attraction based on splitting it up into different types of attraction people can experience.

This is generally talked about as the split between sexual and romantic attraction, but many people also split the attraction they experience into other categories such as platonic, sensual, and aesthetic.

It was created by and for the aspec community, but people who are not aspec use it as well.

For example someone might be bisexual homoromantic i.e. They might experience sexual attraction to two or more genders and romantic attraction to the same gender.

People who have the same romantic and sexual attraction sometimes use it too – because they experience or conceptualise these attractions as separate. For example, it is very common for people to identify as asexual and aromantic separately rather than asexual, aromantic, or aroace as one identity.

However, the SAM is just a model and it doesn’t make sense for everyone to use it. This is not the way attraction inherently is – it is the way it is helpful for many people to interpret, understand, and explain their attraction(s).

So why use it in the first place if it doesn’t apply to everyone?

The SAM is a really helpful for interpreting and explaining attraction. It gives people the language to say: I am attracted to this person in this way, but not in this one.

I actually think it would be useful for understanding and working through feelings for people who aren’t aspec. Sometimes I explain this model to my allo friends when they talk about finding somebody attractive but not wanting a relationship with them, or vice versa.

But for many aspec people, it’s not just useful, but necessary. There is no real alternative for people who experience different attractions to different groups of people. I couldn’t even begin to explain how I experience attraction, being aromantic bisexual, without using the split attraction model.

It’s also a really easy way to explain what asexuality and aromanticism are. While we may not use the term “split attraction model,” it’s become the default way to explain what aromanticism even is to beginners. How else do you explain the concept of a romantic orientation than by opposing it from a sexual one?

If you do experience your attractions as split, the SAM can be a lifeline. Suddenly, what you’re feeling makes sense! You finally have the language to talk about it, and that’s vital for a large part of the community. But if it doesn’t make sense for you, or you just don’t want to use it for any other reason… that’s where we start to encounter problems.

Okay so why don’t people use it?

There are all sorts of reasons why someone may not want to use the SAM.

One reason that I have already alluded to, is that not everyone experiences “sexual and romantic attraction,” but “attraction,” which they may label using one of these terms, other terms, or not at all.

If we forget for the moment that the SAM exists, we might think that the corresponding identity for homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, etc, is asexual. This is how the term came to exist in the first place. It follows, then, that asexual people who don’t use the SAM may view their orientation in this way. The split attraction model then turns this into: “bisexual = bisexual and biromantic; asexual = asexual and aromantic.”

But, the fact that the SAM does exist complicates things. Other asexuals who don’t use the SAM don’t understand asexuality as “asexual and aromantic,” but chose not to adopt a romantic orientation at all, or do not identify with the concept of romantic attraction in the first place.

By the same token, we get people who identify solely as aromantic. This could be for any number of reasons: perhaps because they identify more with that label, they relate more to the experiences of the aromantic community, or they find that the concept aromanticism describes their experiences better.

There’s an assumption that people who identify as solely “asexual,” or “aromantic,” are basically “asexual and aromantic,” but this is not accurate for everyone and that assumption can be forced onto people, which is damaging.

There are also people who use some variation of “aroace” or “asexual aromantic,” as one identity, in the same vein as the way ”gay” and “bi” mean one orientation and not a combination of two. This is likely due to the fact that “asexual” and “aromantic” also exist as separate identities, it makes sense to acknowledge that for these people they mean both.

There are also people who don’t use it simply as a matter of preference, or have specific problems with the SAM, and don’t use it for those reasons. Some of these are:

Don’t relate to/ feel a connection with the language of the SAM

Do experience split attractions but don’t find the way the SAM splits attraction to be helpful

Find the SAM too confusing/ inaccessible

Identify with the aspec community for reasons that the SAM doesn’t help explain, e.g inability to determine between attractions

Okay so some people use it and some people don’t. What’s the problem?

Since the first instances of it’s use, the SAM was never meant to apply to everyone, just to those who find it useful. And yet, because so many people in the aspec community need to use it by virtue of the fact that there is no other option, in much of the community it is treated as a default. Our discussions and positivity posts tend to be based on this model of attraction as a given premise. For example, I recently looked at and reblogged this introductory brochure. I didn’t see a problem with it at the time, and I still think it’s a great attempt at aspec 101. But it largely ignores the existence of aspecs who don’t use the SAM.

I see this as a problem for a couple of reasons:

It is alienating to people who don’t use the SAM. I asked in my survey if aspecs who don’t use the SAM felt excluded in aspec discussions and the vast majority responded “yes” or “sometimes.” As one respondent to my survey put it: this community is “not a monolith.” It is not accurate to treat it as one.

We’re potentially alienating or confusing baby aspecs. If your first introduction to asexuality and/or aromanticism is using a model that doesn’t make sense to you – it might make the community less accessible.

This convention of explaining the ace and/or aro spectrums in terms of the SAM creates pressure for aspecs who don’t use the SAM to explain their identities to outsiders, newbies, and intra community discussions in terms of the SAM when they may not want to.

I don’t think this is an intentional effort to erase anyone. Partly, it’s because when you do conceptualise attraction as split, it becomes really difficult to understand it in any other way.

As well as this, as one respondent to my survey pointed out: it’s a reaction to exclusionists – the discourse around the SAM is exhausting and we’re left having to defend it’s existence. This can make us forget that it’s just an option, and not the only one at that.

Well what do you want me to do about it?

One respondent to the survey suggested we treat the SAM like “queer” in that it’s fine as a personal identity choice and to use about community discussions to a certain extent but to be mindful that it’s not okay to just assume everyone identifies with it. I thought that was a really good suggestion.

I also think it might be a good idea, when introducing people to the concept of asexuality and/or aromanticism, to present the SAM as just one option and not the default.  Unfortunately, this has the potential drawback of making introductions even more confusing. We already bombard newbies with a lot of information at once, and saying:

“Well there’s a model of attraction which splits sexual and romantic attraction so if you think you experience one but not the other or both but differently, or neither but differently you can use that OR you might not find it helpful to think of attraction in that way at all in which case maybe just look at a list of labels and check which your experience seems to relate to most?”

Well, it might just end up being more confusing. Personally, I think it’s worth it.

At the very least, I want to encourage people to stop making blanket statements like: “sexual orientations are different from romantic orientations.” Because, yes, they can be. Or they can not be.

Terminology:

Allo: used here to indicate both allosexual and alloromantic OR allosexual as a non SAM descriptor.

Allosexual: the opposite of asexual; not on the asexual spectrum.

Aspec: an umbrella term for anyone on the asexual spectrum and/or aromantic spectrum

Notes:

At the time of writing this, I have only received 22 useable responses to the survey of non SAM using aspecs. This sample is not large enough to represent every aspec who doesn’t use the SAM, and is likely skewed towards people who interact with the aspec community on tumblr, since that’s where I posted it.

One respondent to the survey had issues with my use of the word aspec (on the asexual and/or aromantic spectrum) as it implies there is one aspec community rather than an asexual spectrum community and an aromantic spectrum community.

I used aspec because there is no other word that includes arospecs, acespecs, and aroacespecs who don’t use the SAM and the survey could apply to all of them. I continue to use it here, because there is no other word that includes the arospec, acespec, and aroacespec communities. The fact is that for some people aromanticism and asexuality are split and for some they are not. Some people are in both communities, some are in just one and for some being ace and aro is one single identity that they don’t think of as separate.

Another respondent mentioned concerns about the SAM sexualising queer identities. I have not addressed that here because I don’t feel comfortable mentioning it without clarifying that I don’t agree that this is the case, but I have addressed it on this blog.

I should also clarify that since I do use the split attraction model, while I’ve made an effort to hear from and include people who don’t, it should be noted that my perspective may be biased and I cannot speak for those who don’t use the SAM.

#split attraction model #aro community discussion #very long post #this took me like 3 days #queue

[m2mtl]

(ENG translation) Fake Cinderella - Chapter 8

Chapter 8 raw (click for link)

Previous chapters (1-7) link

t/n: Hiya, I decided to pick up the Fake Cinderella novel. This is just MTL so feel free to point out corrections and I'm not sure about some parts and just inferred based on context (MTL sometimes give out really weird translations lol). I'll try to do at least 2-4 chapters every month, but I'm not promising anything. So yeah, here goes~

(7/28/19) t/n: Edited some parts, for better understanding as well as some points that I realized weren’t translated that accurately. 

TOC - Next Chapter

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8. Report

The culprit - I was told that he was the cook of the soup at the kitchen.  

(I do not know if it's true)

As if it's a detective drama, it was "no charges due to the death of the suspect."

Really. That guy, he was dead.

He was there during the uproar about Ellelucia, but soon he was out of sight, and when he was found he was no longer breathing. 

They say it was the same poison as with Ellelucia.  

(The dead cannot speak...)

There was no definite evidence that he was the criminal, but according to this report which was handed to me, the Elsevelt justice officer had determined that it was suicide. And while the investigation will continue, there is a strong suspicion that he was the perpetrator.

We cannot prove his innocence, and it is easy to judge him as the criminal. Even if there is no solid evidence, the circumstantial evidence is sufficient.

With one word of the judiciary, he is considered as if he were the criminal already.

Like a lamb in a sacrifice.  

The dead cannot argue.  

After that, the people around him just piled up stories showing that he was suspicious.

Several testimonies from the people around him were included in the report.

It was poorly written.

He liked gambling.

He was in debt and needed money.

He always said that he wanted money.

He talked about having a profit... each and everyone of these stories are insufficient as evidence.  

These are often heard everywhere, and it's not particularly suspicious.

But when each of these stories comes together, it feels as if he were a criminal.

It is even more so because the judiciary has proclaimed it.

(The assumption is strong.)

Even if it was not the truth, it is considered the truth to those who believed it.

The weight of the real truth is automatically added there.

Whether the judicial officer really thinks he's the culprit or is trying to make himself think so, there's too little information to judge.

Another report was submitted by my escort.

As this is in Elsevert territory, this report is not an official document but only an informal one.

The name of the reporter is Count Najec = Rajé = Vera = Stasen (t/n: I just kept the name similar to the romanization).

He is the head of my escort and is a qualified judicial officer.

A judicial officer is a professional qualification who is given the authority of a judge and a police officer, and is called by the title "Vera", but "Judicial officer" does not strictly equal to "Vera".

"Vera" means a person who graduated from university, in a sense it's basically a "scholar."

Since all the people who graduated from university can become judicial officers, the judicial officers eventually became called "Vera."

Wherever you go in this continent, you can get a high-ranking official position if you have acquired the title "Vera." Really. Even if it is a former slave.

I hear that the prime minister of the Royal Roland Empire in the North is a "Vera" that was a former slave.

I was wondering why one could become an expert in law just after graduating from college, so I was determined to know how the mentioned university here works. Universities in this world are highly advanced and specialized academic institutions, it is difficult to enter and even more difficult to graduate.

Admission qualifications require that only those who have passed the entrance exam for under 30 years old, but the scope of entrance exams is quite diverse. The test subjects are three essential subjects: law, history, and language, but they must have knowledge in all fields because the history exam may ask about the zinc purification method of the unified empire era, and the language exam may ask about the economy of the second empire period.

Depending on the year, successful applicants may only total to a single digit.

Laws naturally vary from country to country. The basic law is the old Unified Imperial Law called the "Continental Law."  University students learn all the laws of the five major powers, including Dardinia. If you do not pass in the three essential subjects of law, history, and language, you can not advance to the specialized course nor graduate.

The Royal Academy exists as a senior educational institution, but in every country, it is regarded as belonging only to nobles. There are some famous private schools, but they are only recognized within their own countries.

An ivory tower with absolute authority, without swaying in status, position or power. That is the university here.

They are meritocratic, no matter how high your status, no matter how much money you accumulate, you will not be allowed to take a step in unless you pass the entrance examination on your own.

Incidentally, Prince Nadir has this "Vera."

At present, there is no other prince in the continent who has "Vera."  It is said that when he ascends to the throne, he would become the first king to have the title "Vera."

Let's get back to the report.

As a matter of course, the report of Count Stasen naturally differs in perspective from the Elsevert's judicial officer.  

So, even if the same fact is written, the impression is completely different.

The poor are all farmers in the villages, and it is common practice for the village men to play darts at the bar of the village, do dice betting and poker, and to lose at these games. Even if they lost three days in a row, it was possible to pay with the next month salary.  

People who want money, they're not uncommon for them, and the word profit can make you a little curious, but for instance, if you sell a new kind of sweet potatoes directly in the town rather than in the village market... it's a big profit for the farmers.

(There are two sides to things...)

Even if it is not the opposite of the two sides, just as the view changes depending on how the light is applied, the facts that come up from different perspectives are different.

(Even though there is one truth, what you see is different from person to person)

There is no more excuses from him.

There is no one to refute for him.

Now there is no evidence, but the suspicion of circumstantial evidence, and in time there may be a considerable sum of money, or some poison which he is said to have used, that will be discovered from his luggage.

Such a thing, I don't know if I can let it go afterwards.

(... or perhaps he was really involved)

Maybe I'm being too suspicious. It may be better to honestly believe in the circumstantial evidence.

If there is a lot of doubtful evidence, it's hard to say, because it was his turn to make the soup.  

That clam soup was a bit bad for acclaim. But I think it was technically okay.

The clam itself was deliciously processed. The thick, large clam was simmered without being too boiled. It didn't feel too firm and I didn't taste the rawness ... it was well cooked.

There is no gas. Nor do they have ranges or timers. I don't think he could have done anything but make soup on the open fire.

He should not have had the time of doing something unnecessary with the soup.  

(The soup is next to the oven, and the stove of the stir-fried dishes is beyond the bread-kiln...)

The report also describes the location of the kitchen seasoning shelves. The information attached to either report is quite detailed, but the information submitted by Elsevert's official is even more so - it includes the description of what is in the shelf. The name of the person who wrote it is blurred. (t/n: not sure about this, it was literally translated as “The character of the person I wrote is blurred.”)

If you were in the kitchen, you might think there are many chances to put poison in, but the corner where you made soup is far from the one where you made stir-fried dishes. Moreover, there is a bread kiln between them, and there are, of course, people in charge for that too.

There is no evidence that he approached the oven where the stir-fried dishes were being made.

It is almost impossible to put it after it is served. It is said that when he was done he soon served the soup, and there is no evidence of him approaching there.

There were more than ten people in the kitchen at that time. The chef, who oversaw all the work, testified that no one had done anything funny.

His skill may be inadequate, but his attitude to protect his men against a judicial officer who regarded him as the criminal is worthy of praise.

(I think I'm going to be confused...)

I had a lot to think about.

I don't think I've lived without thinking about anything, but I feel like I've been thinking a lot since I came here.

The position of the Duke of Elsevert is not very good, as the judicial officer considered him as partly the culprit... Rather, they are secretly regarded as the true masterminds.

(His family, for generations, was it a peasant of the Duke...)

The relationship between tenant farmers and feudal lords is similar to slaves and masters who follow voluntarily. Although peasants were not in the position of slaves, they could not oppose the order of their lords.

It is quite natural to regard it as having been done by the order of the duke.

The duke seems to have tried to come and explain many times, but my escort commander said that the excuse was useless, and it seems that even Lilia refused the offer.

(Well, he is naturally, suspected... in a sense, of course)

On the contrary, I doubt his involvement this time.

I don't think he'll use such an easy-to-understand method.

In the castle of Elsevert, poison is found in the dish made by the cook of Elsevert... The culprit deduced from this... it's too easy to understand.

(I don't think they'll use such a simple trick)

The Duke of Elsevert would come up with a situation in which he could prove that he was never the culprit, and a means in which he would never be doubted.  

That duke is paranoid and a perfectionist. That type should be very particular about details.

Of course, there are exceptions, but the duke is absolutely fine. Because, the list of seasoning shelves was probably written directly by the duke.

It was found in both reports that, as soon as Ellelucia fell, my bodyguards began to seize the kitchen of the castle to examine all the rest of the material which had remained for my breakfast.

The materials itself seemed to be perfectly normal. Seasonings too.

The poison was found only in the dish of 'fried green vegetables and soybean dishes' that was carried to my room.

The frying pan had been washed, so it was unclear if it was mixed during cooking or if it was mixed while being transported to my room after cooking.

It was Ellelucia who carried "green vegetables and stir-fried dishes" from the kitchen to my room. It seems that the lady has poisoned herself with what she carried.

(What is the form of the poison? ... Powder or ... Liquid? ...)

Is it possible to be mixed in the corridors or not?

The poison is still under investigation, but it is written that it is probably a poison of Rigis.

Rigis is is a medicinal herb that has analgesic effects in its flowers and a sedative effect in the leaves. It is widely used, and every home is planted with Rigis, and it is so common for girls to bring the potted plant as a bride's tool.

However, according to a book left by the famous alchemist, Trigias, about two centuries ago, it is possible to refine the root by a special refining method and produce a terrible poison. It is said that it can kill a dozen of adults with just one drop of liquid or with the powder amounting to only a tip of the finger.

The terrifying part of this poison is that it is not immediate. There is nothing for a while after taking it, and it is too late when you realize it. You can't vomit it anymore.

It dissolves in the internal organs and you die before long. It is said that the skin of the body is decayed and that purple spots appear over time.

(Well, all poisons that can not be identified are said to be Rigis poison.)

Indeed, this Rigis poison is a mystery poison. The 'special refinements' and the other information have not been recorded anywhere, only the efficacy of the poison and the observation that Trigius had conducted on death row prisoners.

The roots of the Rigus are edible when boiled. It tastes like a lily root, and I ate it a few days ago. By the way, it seems to be a medicine for bruises if you grind it.

It's a mystery how it becomes poisonous. Well, it's not that strange because medicine and poison are two sides of the same coin.

(...... Is there anything that Ellelucia aims at?)

Was there a reason for being targeted by Ellelucia? Now that I think of it.

She was a bright and pretty girl. It is said her swordsmanship skills were quite good. She was told to be my shield at an emergency.

However, it seemed to me that it had nothing to do with the fact that Ellelucia was my maid after all.

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TOC - Next Chapter

#fakecinderella #fakecinderellachapter8 #englishtranslation #translations

[meditationadvise]

Eliminate Limiting Beliefs and Change Your Life Now!

In Part 2 of the Extraordinary Power of Beliefs, William Horton continuouslies tell us that your idea system is so essential it could establish whether you make it or damage it in life. ... exactly what will it be? Will you believe in YOU or will certainly you leave it all to fate?

...

The Amazing Power Of Beliefs: Component II by William Horton, Psy. D.

In Component One of "The Extraordinary Power of Ideas" it was revealed that there are numerous habits, processes and assuming that go right into success. People should think that they could go beyond as well as price their individual capacity at a high level. In the second component, we will certainly broaden on these ideas and also offer even a lot more for individuals to understand the process of thinking for success and also attaining it as well.

Reaching the Mind with Visualization

Visualization is an extremely important facet in human habits as touched on partly I. With the power of visualization individuals can see themselves in successful positions, visualize damaging restrictions and boundaries that are holding them back. To see the power of visualization here is a workout:

Pointing your finger ahead, turn your body in a clockwise motion regarding you can. Make a mental note of this position.

Close your eyes as well as visualize on your own in the above workout. Currently with your eyes closed proceed, yet stretch on your own a little more (in your mind). Imagine yourself another 3 feet from the setting that you were in with your "shut eye" experience.

Now open your eyes and also do the same, you went additionally than the very first time, huh?

You obtain past your psychological limits as well as limits that you establish on your own. That is since you think of that you can, as well as you do! Success is simply a visualization away!

Eliminate Limiting Beliefs

Most people strive to a record and never look for a greater goal for themselves. Now you may think, just what does that imply? Exactly what it implies is that if you just aim for something that has currently been completed you may never satisfy a higher goal. Take running. Before the early 1950's no one had actually ever before run a mile in less compared to four minutes. After Roger Bannister, a college trainee, ran the mile in less than 4 mins it was a lot longer before others followed his lead. Why is this? Due to the fact that individuals fail to get to for just what they assume is inaccessible. Amazingly after Bannister climaxed, thirty 7 various other runners broke the same record that year. Exactly what does this tell us? Generally never ever take the "top objective" and give up. Strive for more and grab the unthinkable.

Your Limiting Beliefs are Never ever Absolutes

Beliefs are occasionally true, yet typically times they are only a point of view or individual assumption of a circumstance. Did you ever stop to believe that a person that is really feeling down, would certainly have a different idea concerning a scenario compared to he or she would when they were really feeling better? People have ideas about a selection of points day-to-day, however this does deficient established in rock or a rule to obey. Occasionally assumptions are wrong, off or misguided by faulty details. Assume concerning the game that you played in elementary when you whispered a key in the ear of a person standing alongside you. By the end of the line the details transformed, stories were various and also assumptions were definitely various. See how points can end up being distorted? That is exactly how it works.

You need to come to comprehend that regardless of what the idea, you have to recognize that it might change. When we have a belief concerning something it should be assessed. Reviewed and determined whether or not it is real for every person or polluted by other objective that may hinder capability. Asking yourself if the belief will hold you back or equip you is the very best method to comprehend whether the belief is favorable or unfavorable. The majority of effective individuals share the belief that things happen for a factor as well as not because of fate. The belief that fate or true blessings give a successful result can trigger distress and also aggravation. Success does not drop in the lap of any person, they need to make it happen!

Your Beliefs become True

Saying that ideas are not constantly true is simply a reality, however the individual having the belief locates that frequently the belief comes to life. Over and over it has actually been educated that what people believe and believe is their fate. We are a product of our inner belief system. Despite just how faulty an idea the individual that has it will unavoidably live it.

People become what they think due to the fact that it is just how they perceive the opportunity and environment around them. People do not view truth, but they do regard their perception of reality. Review that sentence once more, it is a mind boggling theory, but one that is incredibly true. An example of this concept could be seen when two individuals have a spoken argument. Both celebrations are mad and also will remember different things. The mind will take in components of the run-in, transforming, deleting as well as even distorting the information.

People have the tendency of keeping in mind an adverse expression or action a lot longer compared to a positive one. For parents it might be that their youngster has done a host of things proper, yet the one time they screw up, they have trouble living it down. If the youngster does something once more the moms and dads will automatically return to the unfavorable experience.

People have self meeting prophecies not by mishap, but because they establish themselves for the situation. A nagging, suspicious spouse could own a partner away with the constant negative thoughts. The strong and also enthusiastic beliefs could most of the times come to be true, because we maintain on with them up until they are a fact. So be cautious with your ideas, unless they declare, due to the fact that you could just produce a self fulfilling prediction that you do not want.

Perceptual Blind Spot

Sometimes the mind will remove something due to the fact that of an idea system. Have you ever before been seeking something browsing high and also low for it? Regularly you were informing on your own that you despise searching for points as well as will not have the ability to discover it due to the fact that you are so awful at locating things. Somebody else occurs as well as grabs whatever you were looking for, in a location that you had actually already looked two or 3 times. What is taking place? Are you having problem with your view? No, this phenomenon is understood as a perceptual dead spot. Because you are so hectic telling on your own that you are dreadful at locating things, your eyes check right across the item with an absence of detection. This is a negative visual hallucination, this suggestion can be increased right into "blind" areas about success, health and wellness, wide range, and all other aspects of our experience!

Beliefs can create your success to be the very same means. If you believe that there are no possibilities and also you will certainly never ever achieve success, you will certainly miss opportunity right under your nose.

The Famous and Intelligent Proven Wrong

Large firms as well as those seeking advertisements want to those that are popular or smart to advertise their product. This happens since the general public has a positive respect for the private permitting them to think what they state. What if they are incorrect? Costs Gates as soon as advertised that no computer system needed greater than 250k of ram. Dr. Lee D Woodland declared that male would certainly never ever reach the moon no matter the amount of scientific breakthroughs went along. The head of the United States Patent workplace said in 1905, whatever that could be invented has actually been designed and also recommended shutting the license office! Those that are smart, enlightened, and/or renowned do not always recognize finest. Never ever take constraints as entire realities, constantly strive for one step much better. The four minute mile, cell phones, or even the internet were when taken into consideration difficult! (Currently envision living without them) What happens if nobody had actually ever before promoted these originality's, our computers would not have the memory they currently have, or no person would certainly stroll on the moon, and also most of us have cellular phone as well as "need" the internet. (I might not have actually written this without the web) Dreams are just what makes success happen. Desire and also desire big!

Eliminate Restricting Beliefs & Create Encouraging Beliefs

Beliefs come from experiences and people around us. Beliefs are drawn from friends, member of the family, educators as well as the regional hero. These perceptions as well as beliefs are very important as well as make us that we are, yet one must bear in mind that they are only just as good as the assumptions of the person. Ideas are never outright facts as well as must be treated therefore. Examining beliefs to make sure that they are not holding you back is of the utmost value. Ideas come to be ingrained right into our minds and also become our habits which are our lives!

P. S. Do you have limiting ideas that are holding you back from becoming your best self?

The means we think of the world impacts our experience in it-- forever or for bad. Vishen Lakhiani's transformational course, Consciousness Design, allows you to challenge any kind of restricting ideas you could hold. Try it out and also live without limitations today!

#meditation

[certifiedskywalker]

Lost - Benjamin Poindexter

Hello my friends! I hope you are doing well and fancy a delve into Daredevil’s newest villain, Bullseye. I really loved the way this character was portrayed and I hope this imagine does him justice! Enjoy!

His long fingers gripped the granite counter top tightly, his knuckles turning white at the strain. The flex of his forearms seemed dramatic in the dim light as the muscles were grossly defined. The shadows under his chin were drawn sharp as he clenched and unclenched his jaw rhythmically. His shoulders were hiked up, like feline hackles, and his head hung low between them. The loud, heavy thoughts weighed his brain down to that painful position, with his eyes glued on the manila envelope before him.

Your fault, your fault, your fault. The words floated in his skull, reverberating off the bone and back into the pink flesh of his mind. His brows furrowed as he vainly tried to block the voice out. Angrily, he shook his head hoping to give himself a moment of silence.

Your fault, your fault, your fault. Traveling from his head and down his throat, the phrase found purchase in his heart. The once steady beat started to pound wildly with some untapped rage. He could feel the blood rushing through his body, echoing in his ears.

Your fault, your fault, your fault. Suddenly, he was moving, his fingers wrapping around the handle of the knife. A sharp turn, a slight snap and the blade was lodged in the drywall. It sunk deep, chipping the paint as it found its mark.

My fault, my fault, my fault. With a scream so loud that the heavens shook, he fell to his knees. His shaking hands pulled at his short, dirty blond locks in pure frustration. If he had just stayed away, kept his distance like he had been, you would have been spared.

It was a brisk day in Hell’s Kitchen. The chilled air nipped at your face, flushing your face with a dusting of red. You shook slightly, pulling your too-thin jacket closer to your chest in an attempt to combat the cold. Sadly, the attempt was feeble as the wind picked up a freezing breeze, seemingly just for you.

“Ms. L/N! Ms. L/N!” You turned quickly to greet the small voice that shouted for your attention. A small boy from your homeroom rushed up with a large amber leaf clutched in his tiny hands. “It’s huge!! Look at it!”

“It is, Tyrone! Why don’t you trace it like we did in class today?”

“By rubbing a crayon over it?”

“Yes,” you said sweetly, “but be careful. Even with the paper protecting it, the leaf is still brittle. It might break.”

“Okay,” Tyrone said, a giddy smile on his face. “I’ll show you when I get done!” The little boy quickly ran inside the cozy schoolhouse and you couldn’t help but envy the fact he would be sheltered from the cold. You gazed out at the rest of the children in the playground yard and felt a smile grace your lips.

Children clad in brightly colored coats and knitted wool hats screamed with joy as they played about. Some braved the freezing chains of the swing set and took to new heights while others were intently focused on the kickball match at hand. You felt a rush of warmth despite the immaculate weather roll through your body. It had taken a while, but you had made it. You were home, in New York, teaching a new, blooming generation of bright students. Now, you just couldn’t let them freeze to death before they changed the world.

“C’mon in kids!” you shouted, “It’s lunchtime!” A chorus of whoops and cheers greeted your ears as the bundled-up children funneled inside the small school. You waited until those few lingering students had walked through the doors.

Before you went inside yourself, you wandered the playground and picked up the stray play equipment. You leaned down slowly, picking up a jump rope and a doll one of the kids had snuck outside. Letting out a sigh, you turned to stand up straight. Your eyes wandered briefly over and across the street. Even though it was a mere glance, your gaze locked with another’s.

His face was obscured slightly by the hood of the black jacket he wore. Hands hidden inside the pockets, you couldn’t tell if he was familiar; but you could feel his eyes on you. The intensity of his gaze sent a shiver down your spine, partly due to a sense of unease. Trying to mask your intent on getting a better look at him, you stalked over to the fence.

As you did, a large truck flew past on the pavement, disrupting your eye line. When your line of sight was clear once more, the darkened figure was gone. Brows furrowing, you glanced up and down the street, at least as much as the bulky fence before you would allow.

“Ms. L/N?!” A shout drew your attention away from your task as you looked over your shoulder. Tyrone stood in the doorway, waving a colored piece of paper gleefully. “I finished!”

“Great,” you said, turning back to where the man had stood moments before. You gave the area one last once over. Not a trace of him remained. Frowning yet slightly relieved, you started towards the happy boy. “Let me see what our resident artist as done!”

When three o’clock was signaled by the tolling of the final bell, you had barely thought of the strange figure you had seen across the street during the children’s recess. Now, however, he was all you could think about as your students filed out of the schoolhouse and into the widespread arms of the cruel Hell’s Kitchen. What ifs and questions of who he was berated your mind, brewing a worry that tied up your gut.

Then, when the last child was picked up and the final bus shuttled out, you felt a held breath release. With a renewed sense of ease, you gathered your things from your classroom and bid farewell to your fellow staff. They were kind people, good people. People who, like you, wanted to raise the children of Hell’s Kitchen up above the ashes.

As you walked out of the fenced in school yard, thoughts of your students cluttered your mind. You were so lost in your reflections that you almost missed the familiar black hood of the figure earlier. You could see him more clearly now, as he attempted to appear nonchalant on the corner. He was slim, with pointed features that just barely poked out from the hood.

Before you could even think about what to do, like a magnetic, your feet were drawn to him. They carried you over until you stood before him with a cocked head, peering into the face of a handsome man. His light hazel eyes seemed to blink with disbelief when they focused on you. You watched as his scruff covered jaw opened and closed quickly; but any words seemed to die out on his tongue as you waited.

“It’s you,” you said, giving the strange man a soft smile. You liked to preach to your students that kindness was first; so you felt you had to follow our own rules, even if the man before you seemed to be watching you closely.

“It’s uh,” he paused, his eyes barely meeting yours.

“I saw you, this afternoon. Across the street over there.” You pointed back down the block where the school was snugly seated. The man swallowed hard at your remark.

“I just um-”

“Is your child enrolled there?”

“What? No, no,” he shook his head, seeming to find his voice now. “I have just seen you around before. I didn’t realize you worked there. I didn’t mean to….to stare. Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you chirped, “you just worried me. You almost looked lost.” The man let out a chuckle at your assumption and it was the most wonderful sound you had ever heard. While it was soft, it started from his broad chest and seemed to grow in richness somewhere in his throat before it slipped from his lips. Your heart thumped wildly, as if it longed to chase after the laugh that seemed to drift off in the wind.

“I-I uh, I’m Y/N,” you said, trying to break yourself from your reverie. You extended a hand to him, hoping to break any tension that had started to arise. His nervous eyes glanced from your hand to your eyes then back again, as if he were calculating. Then, finally, his eyes met yours once more and his warm hand greeted your own.

“I’m Dex.”

If only he hadn’t given in, then you wouldn’t be in this mess. And oh, what a mess it was. It sickened Dex that it had taken this long for him to have realized. While he had been playing the part of Hell’s Kitchen’s beloved Devil, the true devil was clad in a crisp, white suit and sitting safely in a penthouse. He had been played and he was disgusted with himself.

Gulit ate away at Dex as he slowly rose from his knees. With shaking steps he walked over to the embedded blade and yanked it from the wall. A simple, menial thing to do. A distraction from what needed to be done. He tossed the knife in the sink and turned the faucet on. The sound of spraying water soothed him slightly as he closed his eyes.

Behind his eyelids, Dex saw only you. He knew the risks of watching you, but he couldn’t stop himself. You had worked at the Hotline for a while, not long enough to ever spare a glance at him but enough for him to become enraptured by you. Every word you spoke oozed with compassion and an innate softness that Dex, himself, naturally lacked. He longed to listen to you speak for hours on end and it nearly drove him mad when you finished school. His research told him you had earned your teaching degree and that you were destined to move on to bigger and better things.

That didn’t dull of the sting of your empty cubicle the following Monday. So when Dex joined the FBI, he used his new found resources to find his North Star again; to find you again. Of course you would work at a school for the less fortunate. Dex considered himself stupid for not coming to the conclusion himself. He would watch you, from a distance as you cared for the children you taught, as you gave them the guiding hand he longed for.

So when you came up to him that day, that day he had dared to get a little closer, that day he slipped up, everything changed for Agent Poindexter. He, himself, didn’t change, not entirely. As you both grew closer, he told you about his line of work. Dex even dared to mention his episodes, riding them off as a form of PTSD from his war days. Lying to you pained him, but he couldn’t let himself get too close.

Dex thought he had been doing a decent job at that. Never too close in public. Only in the privacy of his apartment did he dare to let his walls down. Only then would he allow himself to melt into your touch, your kiss. He never knew he could be capable of having you in that way. He had been foolish to think that it would last as his secret at all.

“Dex? I’m home!” Your voice called him out of his state, turning his attention to the door. You held brown paper bags of groceries in your arms, a domestic sight that Dex might have cherished if it had been at any other time. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he said softly, walking over to help you. “How’d it go today?”

“It went well, but Sandra K. was picking on Haley R. again. I think I’ll have to call the parents in to talk with them.” As you spoke, you walked over to the counter and pulled out a stool. You sat and watched as Dex put away the groceries. While he was listening and trying to distract his mind from itself, you watched the muscles in his back move against his shirt.

“That sounds hard,” he replied, turning back to you when he had finished. You bit your lip and nodded, eyes holding his gaze. You could tell something was eating at him, but you knew not to press it with Dex. If he needed or wanted to tell you, he would; but he had to do it on his own time. You learned that after your first fight with him, an event you did not wish to repeat.

“Yeah,” you said lazily, eyes drifting to the counter. Your brows furrowed when you saw a manila envelope resting there, open. “What’s this?”

Before your fingers even graced the packet, Dex had swiftly moved to the side of the counter you sat on and picked it up. You squinted at him, and the envelope, with piqued interest. Dex swallowed, but put on a smile, just for you.

“Work. A file they want me to look into.”

“Does it have nasty pictures in it?”

“Yeah, really gross.” You smiled at him and Dex’s smile widened a little too. It had become too easy to lie to you.

“Then keep it away,” you teased, “I don’t like nasty.” Dex let a huff escape his nostrils at your words and he rolled his eyes.

“That’s not what you said-” Before he could finish, you placed a slender finger against his lips. Long ago, Dex would have never allowed for this contact; but you had your way of breaking his once solid rules. Even if it took a few dates, you were had been determined to tear them down.

“Shh, Poindexter, just kiss me.” He smiled, truly smiled, against your finger. Resting the envelope, he reached for you. One of his large hands grabbed at your waist, pulling your body flush to his own. Your finger moved from his lips and traced his cheek gingerly.

He stared into your eyes a moment longer, taking you in. A wave of calm washed over him before he captured your lips in a searing kiss. His other free hand buried itself in your hair and Dex couldn’t help but marvel at the softness. He felt your hand make its way from his cheek to the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to your warmth.

Dex must have been lost like you had thought at the beginning, because with you, especially like this, he felt so completely himself. Your touch, your heart melted any voice or worry in his head away. His stress fell through his fingers like grains of sand when you spoke. Your kiss gave him a taste of normalcy he thought he could never had. He wasn’t going to let anyone take that, take you, away from him.

The envelope went ignored, forgotten the moment Dex hoisted you off your feet. He wrapped your legs around his hips and a giggle escaped your lips. As he walked with you over to his bedroom, his thoughts weren’t of the envelope. They weren’t of the images of you that lurked inside of it, taken by some goon Fisk had hired. They weren’t even about how he was going to kill the Kingpin, slaughter him for threatening you. All of Dex’s thoughts were given a lear focus; with you as his North Star.

#benjamin #benjamin poindexter #dex #bullseye #marvel #daredevil #netflix #marvel comics #daredevil comics #benjamin poindexter x reader #benjamin poindexter imagine #dex imagine #dex x reader #dex fanfiction #daredevil imagine #marvel imagine #hells kitchen #new york #dex x you

[harryandmolly]

When the World Stops Turning - Chapter 1

Summary: A love story in two voices - cowritten with @achinglyshawn

Warnings: Language

Word count: 10k

Lydia frowns in the mirror. Her hair just ain’t bouncin’ and behavin’ tonight.

She lifts the curling iron again then puts it down. She picks it up again, swirling a thick red chunk around the wand and holding it for a few seconds. She lets it drop. The curl falls weak against her neck. She sighs and unplugs the iron, deciding to stop stalling and just do it.

She hasn’t been looking forward to this dinner party. Her week has been long – 30 hours babysitting and a full class schedule do not make for the kind of weekend that Lydia wants to be spending out schmoozing. But it’s Allison and Kristin’s third anniversary and she missed Allison’s birthday last month AND bailed on drinks with Kristin last week, both due to her schedule, so she really can’t ditch this, as badly as she wants to.

So she shows up. She’s in a short midnight blue dress and heels because of course Allison and Kristin insisted on cocktail attire now that they’ve moved into their new apartment and it’s bougie as fuck. There are even place cards at the table.

She greets the hostesses and gets herself a glass of red, wandering over to her end of the table, wishing she brought a date.

The thought runs cold in her head when she sees the man sitting in the seat next to hers. At first, all she sees is bone structure, curls and broad shoulders. Her fingers tighten on her glass. And then she sees his eyes.

He feels like a proper adult, being at a dinner party in his married friends’ brand new apartment. He brought them a bottle of champagne to christen the place with, because his mum always told him it’s the polite thing to do, bringing a gift, even if they don’t ask.

He doesn’t expect it all to be so formal, considering the parties he goes too are usually, like, drunken dance parties at clubs or friends’ condos (or his own), or hotel and festival parties on tour. He doesn’t ever think he’s seen his name on a place card that wasn’t for an award show before.

He also hates that he’s the only single person here, apparently. He didn’t think to ask about bringing someone when he first got the invite. It’s not like he has anyone to bring. Finding a date last minute isn’t exactly easy when you’re busy all day doing tour promo.

He makes his way to the dining room, and slides into his assigned seat next to his friends Margo and Chris, who are wrapped around each other because the apartment has ‘such romantic ambiance’. Shawn wants to gag, just a little.

He’s pouring himself a glass of white wine from the bottle he found on his way to the table, when he feels movement next to him, sees it out of the corner of his eye. He slides the bottle of wine away and sips at his glass.

He doesn’t want to look over just yet, partly because Chris is saying something about the guitar he’s refurbishing for Shawn, and partly because he’s worried it’s another couple he’s gonna have to pretend he’s not agitated by.

But Margo cuts Chris off when she leans towards whoever just sat next to Shawn, her eyes bright. “Lydia! Hi!”

Lydia. Not ‘hey you two!’ Or ‘Lydia and Steve!’ Just Lydia. Shawn looks over.

Lydia manages to sit next to this tall drink of water without rolling an ankle or kicking him under the table, so she considers it a success.

She beams across the table at Margo who is practically sitting in Chris’s lap. She hopes the look on her face is more smile than grimace.

“Hi, guys,” she says brightly, wiggling her fingers in a little wave. She turns to the man sitting next to her and gets a proper look.

He really is gorgeous in an almost ethereal kind of way. His hair is dark and curly and falling over his forehead just so and she can appreciate a man who can style his hair properly. He wears a suit jacket like no one she’s ever seen, including Paul, her incredibly well-dressed gay brother-in-law who could’ve been the sixth Queer Eye guy. She clears her throat, feeling like she recognizes him somehow. Maybe it’ll come to her if she keeps staring at him like she’s planning to do all night.

“Lydia Hamilton,” she murmurs, grinning at him, offering him her hand to shake, “Nice to meet you.”

He’s not staring. He’s not, really. He’s looking, observing. He’s— fucking breathless. Really. He thinks he’s been holding his breath since he caught sight of her bright red hair. Her face doesn’t help. And then she smiles and he actively has to remind himself that he needs to exhale.

He decides he loves the sound of her voice when she says hi to Chris and Margo. He was jealous of them for having each other before, but now he’s jealous of them for knowing her.

He’s about to turn his attention back to Chris so this Lydia doesn’t catch him staring, but he has a hard time looking away. He gets caught.

She turns and looks at him and just smiles brightly, the same way she did for Chris and Margo, and then she introduces herself by offering her hand. He forces himself not to be a moron.

“Shawn,” he replies, curling his large palm around her small hand and shaking gently. Then, “Ah, Mendes. Shawn Mendes. Nice to meet you, too.”

He’s not used to needing to tell people his last name, but Lydia said hers and she’s looking at him like she’s not sure who he is. And that’s different. It’s a little refreshing, actually. His smile comes a little easier.

Shawn Mendes. That’s who he is.

When her brain pinged her that she recognized his face, her assumption wasn’t celebrity. It wouldn’t be, anyway, with this crowd.

But there he is. She knows his name, he’s a musician. He’s a pop star, she’s pretty sure. He’s definitely a little younger than she is, but you wouldn’t know it looking at him. And god, is she looking at him. She tries not to bat her eyelashes like a cougar.

Lydia laces her fingers together and looks over at Margo who is observing them with interest. She looks back at Shawn.

“So how do you know Kristin and Allison?”

He doesn’t mean to eye the full curve of her lower lip, to stare at her mouth so blatantly, to study the freckles dusting her face, but he’s already doing it by the time he realizes it’s happening. It’s like forgetting to breathe when he’s nervous. He can’t help it.

Her words snap him out of it, and he really hopes she didn’t notice. He doesn’t want to creep her out, like a fucking idiot, just because he wants to learn the lines of her face. It’s a nice face. It’s not his fault.

He forces himself to look her in the eye, but that doesn’t really help with the whole remembering how to breathe thing.

“Oh, yeah— well, Kristin helped me customize my studio a couple years back. We’ve been friends ever since. What about you?”

Lydia doesn’t hear any ‘asshole rockstar’ in the way he explains his customized studio so she lets her guard down a little further.

“Oh, uhm, Allison’s in my Ph.D. child psychology program at the university,” she explains, sipping her glass so her hands have something to do other than reaching out and grabbing his. He has such big, beautiful hands.

She hopes the Ph.D. thing doesn’t make her sound like an academic asshole. She figures if she doesn’t say it with her nose in the air like her mother does when she tells people about Lydia’s career path, then she’s usually safe.

Ph.D. Well shit. He might be a little out of his depth, talking to her. She’s beautiful, obviously older, and apparently super smart. What the fuck was Kristin thinking, sitting him next to her?

“So you’re like, really smart, then?” He blurts before he can stop himself, because apparently he’s the Pinky to her Brain.

Lydia tilts her gaze down to her name card when Shawn asks if she’s smart. He does it in that cute boyish way that surprises her because he doesn’t seem entirely comfortable to be chatting with her. It’s sweet and unexpected. She would be expecting more of an arrogant Justin Bieber vibe from him and instead she’s getting boy next door. It’s refreshing.

She leans in a little closer as the noise in the room picks up. Everyone’s sitting down now and the caterers are bringing salads. Kristin and Allison really did go all out.

“I’m smart, but I’m not a freaky brainiac,” she assures him, wanting to make him comfortable around her. Some people assume her graduate education means she has a stick up her ass, but she doesn’t.

“You’re a musician,” she says dumbly, blinking at him for a moment. She readjusts when Margo giggles into Chris’s neck.

“I mean, I’ve heard your music. Margo, we’ve heard his music, right?” She raises her eyebrows across the table at her friend who looks way too amused. And who clearly knew this guy was coming and didn’t warn Lydia about sitting next to a fucking Adonis at dinner. It’s so Margo it hurts.

His ears go pink when she figures out who he is, says she’s heard his music. He chokes out a chuckle, looks down at his name card and moves his wine glass in a few small circles on the tablecloth as Lydia asks Margo about him.

“I mean, I get some radio play, so. Maybe you have.”

They’re distracted from their introductory small talk when they tune in to Margo telling a story about a time Chris drunk dialed her in college. Lydia’s giggling and feeling the wine go to her head already. She hasn’t been drinking much lately, too busy with her head in a book. Maybe she does have a stick up her ass.

She stops paying attention to him as people crowd into the room and Margo starts telling a story.

He’s disappointed, to say the least. So he doesn’t pay attention to the story, instead watches Lydia listen and focuses on the way her cheeks flush as she drinks wine and laughs. It’s a pretty laugh. The prettiest he’s heard, probably.

He barely picks at his salad as he pretends to listen to the couple next to him, more concerned with sneaking glances at the woman next to him. He feels kind of like a creep, but he’s not exactly used to flirting with 20-something Ph.D. students with red hair that reminds him of The Little Mermaid.

He has a hard time thinking of something charming to say. It’s easier with fans, anyway. They already love him. He doesn’t have to work very hard.

As people crowd around the table, she feels squished into Shawn’s side but she’s not complaining. He’s warm and he smells like expensive cologne but not too much. She kind of wants to bury her face in his shoulder.

She pushes her wine glass away for a minute.

He’s worried he’s crowding her too much, but he doesn’t have much room to move, what with 18 people at dining table meant for 16.

His elbow accidentally knocks hers as she’s pushing her wine glass away from her. It wobbles.

“Oh shit-“ he murmurs, reaching forward to steady the glass. He lets out a sigh, then glances at Lydia with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I just—“ he laughs, “I’m worried Kristen might send me to the kid’s table if I get wine on her tablecloth.”

Lydia reaches for her tipping wine glass but Shawn grabs it and swears under his breath. She grins watching his long fingers wrap around her glass and push it to where she was going to leave it.

She busts into a girlish giggle when he cracks a joke. She worries it sounds a little overdone like she’s trying to flirt with him. She isn’t -- he’s just really fucking cute.

“Good reflexes. Did you play sports?”

He makes her laugh. He didn’t even think it was that funny, but she laughs and he feels like it’s his greatest accomplishment yet.

He blushes a little and shrugs, “Some soccer, but I spent most of my time trying to get my hands on instruments. Which, you know, requires its own sort of quick reflexes, I think.”

She tries not to think too hard about him playing soccer because he’s tall and looks to be all lean muscle and she has a thing for soccer players as it is.

“What about you? Are you all school, all the time?”

She hums and goes to answer him when Margo pipes up.

“Yes!”

Lydia looks playfully offended. “What are you talking about? I’m so fun! I went to Paint Night at that bar with you guys like… two weeks ago!”

Margo fixes her with a look. “Lyd, that was two months ago.”

Lydia sulks. “Fine. I used to be fun. I’m just busy I guess. I bet you are too.”

He figures getting a Ph.D. is like a full time job, so it makes sense that that’s all she has time for. He feels kind of bad for asking, now, just because he didn’t mean to put Lydia on the spot.

He chuckles, nodding. “Yeah, I’m pretty familiar with a full schedule. And with jerks like Margo thinking I’m lame for it.”

He ignores Margo’s little “Hey!” from beside him, preferring to keep his focus on Lydia.

He keeps cracking jokes and she keeps giggling like she’s in high school and talking to the cute quarterback. She finds herself noticing little things he does that fascinate her and she figures it’s her psychology background picking up on his body language.

She licks her lower lip and reaches for her wine again. “So are you working on music right now or?”

He tries not to let himself stare at her pink tongue when it darts out to wet her lip before she sips her wine. He’s not sure he’s successful, even though he’s trying to focus on her nose instead.

For some reason her question makes him blush. It’s not the question, really, but the person who’s asking it. He finishes chewing a bite of salad as he nods.

“Yeah, I mean I just finished my next album. So right now I’m mostly deciding on singles and doing tour promo. It’s the more boring part than like, actually writing music, but also a really exciting part.”

He can’t help but babble. Finishing an album is the best feeling in the world.

If he won’t stop blushing, she’s going to keep staring at him. And she doesn’t mind that so much especially with the way he’s looking at her all wide-eyed and hopeful. No one’s looked at her that way in a while.

She doesn’t really know anything about music production or what he means when he says it’s boring and exciting at the same time but he’s getting animated and she likes it.

“So does that mean you’re going on tour soon?”

“Beginning of June, yeah. I guess that’s pretty soon,” he says with a breath. “Shit, yeah, sooner than I remember.”

He likes that she seems genuinely interested, and not just interested because he’s famous. It’s like his celebrity status isn’t of much consequence to her, and he likes it. Usually the only girls who flirt with him are ones who want bragging rights or a photo op.

“But that’s— I mean, let’s talk about you, instead. If that’s okay.”

Lydia is a little thrown when he asks to talk about her. She’s trying to remember the last time someone, a male someone, said that to her. She’s drawing a blank.

The entrees arrive and Lydia is grateful for something to fiddle with as she pokes around with her fork, taking tiny ladylike bites like she learned at cotillion before her debutante ball. She remembers her posture and straightens her shoulders.

“Ok. Other than Ph.D. student and favorite of Margo’s to mock, what do you want to know about me?” she hums, leaning into him a little, experimentally. She lets her arm rest against his at the tightly-packed dining table.

He feels a lump form in his chest when she leans into him, her arm sliding against the length of his as they sit almost as closely as the actual couples at this table with them.

Shawn laughs. “Well, I think I’m actually Margo’s favorite person to mock, but we can argue about that later.”

He doesn’t even pretend to pick at his entree, just watches Lydia eat instead. “Are you from Toronto?”

It’s a boring question, but it’s better than asking, ‘What do you look like when you come?’ Or ‘Do you like breakfast in bed?’

She feels very well attended to. He’s not even eating he’s so interested in what she’s saying. She loves feeling so terribly fascinating. It makes her feel sexy and sophisticated, two things she’s not all too familiar with feeling.

She smiles warmly. “I’m from Baltimore, actually,” she tucks some hair behind her ear and shrugs, “My parents are still there and I have a brother in Boston. Most of my family is in New England. They’re all very ashamed of the fact that I’m a diehard Orioles fan.”

American. He doesn’t know why, but he thinks that’s sexy. But maybe he just thinks anything about her is sexy, because he’s pretty sure Baltimore isn’t a particularly sexy place.

He laughs a little and shrugs, finally lifting his fork to stab at a piece of chicken. “Well, I know next to nothing about baseball, so I’m okay with the Orioles thing, if that makes you feel any better.”

Lydia is feeling great. She bites her lower lip as she brings her glass back up to sip at it. She decides to turn it up a little.

“Well, good, because we’re definitely the only single people at this table, so I’d hate to get off on the wrong foot over something like baseball.” Her voice is light and teasing and just a little sexy if she played it right.

Her voice wraps around him like silk, and he feels his heart stuttering in his chest. Everything she says sends shivers down his spine. He watches her lips press against her wine glass and he wishes they were pressing against his lips, instead.

Christ, he’s fucking pathetic. He barely knows her. He’s sure she’s definitely not thinking about kissing him.

“Ok. Ask me something else,” she murmurs, tilting her head at him.

He has to take a sip of his own wine to wet his drying tongue.

“Okay. Why child psychology?”

He asks her her favorite question. She tries not to watch him swallow but he has a really nice neck. She sweeps a wave of curls off her own neck to show off her warm expanse of white skin above her off-the-shoulder dress.

“Because kids are the closest thing we have to magic. So if I can help them, understand them, maybe protect them, then I find that fulfilling.”

He doesn’t get what she means and he feels stupid for wanting her to explain it. But it’s also her profession of choice, so she probably doesn’t mind talking about it. He just hopes he doesn’t come off ignorant, or like a kid himself.

“I thought, like, chemistry or something was the closest we have to magic,” he says with a crooked smile. “And personally, I think it’s music.”

Shawn argues her point gently and not in that horrible mansplain-y way some guys do. He has a differing opinion and he doesn’t mind sharing it. It’s very sexy.

“Music is great. Music is amazing. But kids are the world’s whole future. Their imaginations are as vivid as they’ll ever be. Kids haven’t had the chance to fuck up yet. They haven’t hurt anyone. Kids are magic.”

She finishes the last bite of her food and tries not to look at him like he’s dessert.

He thinks, maybe, he’s in love with her. She’s articulate in a way he hopes to be, tries to be, but she’s effortless with it. Plus, she’s passionate. He still thinks music is the most magical thing they have as mere mortals, but he’s extremely close to conceding, and not just for the sake of flirting.

“Well shit,” he murmurs with a gentle laugh, then takes another sip of wine. He wets his lips after he swallows and chances a glance at her. “Maybe you have a point there.”

She’s looking at him already when he looks over at her. She almost gets distracted by him licking his lips. She smiles, satisfied.

“Oh good, my ‘kids are magic’ routine has another convert,” she jokes, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs toward him. She looks around the table and sees the couples deep in conversation. She’s quiet for a minute, observing. She reaches up to fiddle with her necklace.

He tries to busy himself with food when there’s a lull in the conversation, but then he feels her shift next to him, sees her angling herself more towards him and he’s done for. He reaches for wine instead.

“I can’t believe I’m at an age where I’m getting invited to dinner parties instead of keg parties. It’s a little disheartening, actually.”

He laughs a little when she speaks again. Something brave inside of him makes him mirror her actions, and he shifts in his seat until he’s facing her a bit more.

“I mean,” he begins as he sets his wine down, “I know about a couple of messy ragers going on tonight, if that’s really the scene you prefer.”

Lydia grins for a second when he turns closer to her. It’s like their unofficial, unspoken signal that they’re not interested in the rest of the party. They’ve found who they want to spend their evening with and they’re going to stick together.

Lydia subtly glances down at herself as plates of tiramisu are passed around. She adjusts the dipping strap of her dress and giggles. “Not in this dress, pal.”

He loves tiramisu, and he hasn’t had much of an appetite for anything else, so he decides to tackle a bit of the dessert.

He’s chewing when Lydia reaches down to tug at her dress, and he lets himself scan her body, just for a moment.

“What do you mean?” He asks when he swallows, smirking a bit before continuing, “I think you look great. I’m sure you’d be very popular.”

‘Great’ is possibly the biggest understatement of the century, but Shawn’s trying to play it cool. He doesn’t need her knowing how pathetic he is by waxing poetic about the way her dress clings to her in all the right places.

Lydia lifts and lowers her shoulders, fluffing out her hair again. She eyes him.

“I happen to agree, I really like this dress, so I won’t be wearing it to a messy rager. My messy rager uniform in college was ripped skinny jeans and a ratty band t-shirt, I don’t know if that’s what the kids are wearing these days.”

She laughs it off but she feels a little weird, having said it. She doesn’t really want to point out to Shawn that her rager days are largely behind her, even if she’s the one who brought it up.

He feels his throat go tight because yeah. Tight, ripped jeans and tattered shirt probably looks really good on her. He tries not to choke on his dessert.

“I’m sure you look just as gorgeous in jeans and a shirt, so. I don’t think it matters what everyone else is wearing.”

He hopes he sounded as cool and casual as he was going for, because the way his heart thumps in his chest feels anything but cool or casual.

His compliment burns in her cheeks. She swallows the last bite of her little cake and grins at him through the sugar rush. “Thank you,” she hums.

He’s definitely flirting with her and she doesn’t really care, for the moment, that he’s a legitimate celebrity with millions of Instagram followers. She’s totally developing a little crush. Lydia hasn’t had a crush in forever. She’s not letting go of this feeling.

“But who needs a rager when you have tiramisu?” she almost moans through a bite of cake.

He watches her lips wrap around the tines of the fork as she eats her dessert. He almost moans, like a disgusting pervert. He takes a sip of wine to cool down.

“Tiramisu and some good company,” he murmurs, glancing at her as the corner of his lips tug up into a gentle smile.

They stay at the table longer than most of the other guests, talking and drinking. He makes her laugh a few more times and he decides he never wants to stop hearing the sound.

The party starts to wrap up and she’s sorry it does. She wants to see him again. With a little wine courage in her blood, as he helps her slide into her jacket by the front door, two of the last guests to leave, she flips her hair outside the coat and steadies her gaze on his.

“So, Shawn, can I get your number?”

As they walk to the door, he’s trying to come up with a cool, charming way to maybe get her number when she beats him to it. He flushes, because he didn’t ever think she’d ask.

“You— Yeah! I mean, yeah, no problem. Can I see your phone?”

Lydia loves the little stammer in his voice when he asks for her phone. She hands it over, complete with glittery pink case and a picture of Camden Yards as her lock screen.

Lydia likes being the one to get a number rather than give hers. She’s in control that way. She doesn’t get to be in control of much, usually, but she likes being the one someone’s waiting on.

Not that she imagines she’ll make him wait long. At all.

He types in his number quickly, then presses the home button and notices the baseball diamond on her lock screen. He smirks as he hands the phone.

“You really weren’t kidding about the baseball thing,” he says after they wave goodbye to Kristin and Allison and disappear through the front door together.

“But I guess that’s how I am with hockey.”

Lydia takes the phone back and shoves it in her pocket, wishing she had something else to do with her hands. She wiggles into her leather gloves and perks up when he mentions hockey.

“Hockey? I love hockey. I really like sports in general, honestly. I didn’t really play them growing up but I love watching them.”

They chat a bit more until she’s stopped in front of her old Rav-4 and shivering a little. She leans in to kiss his cheek and decides she’s going to have to distract herself from texting him tonight.

+

He’s been thinking about her all day. The kiss she’d pressed to his cheek seemed to sear his skin. He catches himself brushing his fingers over the spot again and again.

Lydia’s fidgeting on the couch, trying to study. The stereo is playing Shawn’s album like it has been on repeat all day because, ok, she’s curious and she doesn’t really know many of his songs now that she’s had the chance to look him up.

He hates not having her number. He wants to text her so badly. She asked for his number, so the logical part of him knows she must be intending to text. He just doesn’t know when. The irrational, insecure part of him thinks that maybe she was just being polite, or maybe she’s just looking for a friend, or that she deleted his number the minute they parted ways.

It’s been a few minutes under 24 hours since they met at the party. She had decided she was going to text him tonight anyway but hadn’t set a time for herself. She grabs at her phone and curls her knees in, smiling like an idiot as she crafts a text.

‘Hi! It’s Lydia. How was your day?’

His phone buzzes next to him before he gives himself too much time to spiral downwards into negativity.

‘Oh, hey! Actually not too busy for once, what about you?’

‘Pretty good, a little boring with homework all day so I’m coming to you for entertainment. Can you make me laugh?’

‘Two cookies are in an oven. One cookie says, “Boy it’s hot in here,” so the other cookie says, “Ah!! A talking cookie!!”’

‘Oh my god, I’m a little ashamed at how hard that made me laugh. Is that your go to?’

‘Lol, that’s from like, middle school. I’ve been telling that for years and most people just think it’s stupid.’

‘I’m glad you liked it, though.’

‘I did. I think I’m going a little stir crazy in here. The kids I babysit are on spring break and usually they take up all my energy. I kinda miss them’

‘Isn’t it nice to kind of have a break though?’

'Yeah, it is. And I'll be wishing they were gone when they come back. Do you have siblings?'

‘How old are they?’

‘Oh and yeah, I have a little sister.’

‘Pain in my damn ass, but I love her.’

'Quinn is 4 and Ellie is 6. It's weird being with them sometimes. Everyone always thinks they're my kids.'

'Lucky! I always wanted a little sister. I have a big brother who's married now and I really like his husband so I sort of have 2 brothers.'

‘No way you’re old enough to have kids. I mean. Technically, sure. But you know what I mean!’

‘Little sisters are the best kind of annoying, to be honest.’

'I know! I get all these dirty looks walking around with these kids like people think I got knocked up at 18.'

'And I would trade you Nick for your sister any day. I used to actually put a little sister on my Christmas list for Santa until I was like, 10.'

‘Mom and dad didn’t wanna indulge in that for you?’

‘I guess after two kids, most moms are tapped out.’

'Actually, I was an accident :)'

‘Oh.’

‘Fuck, omg’

‘Well, I think Liyah might’ve been too, so you guys can commiserate.’

'Ha! Is she much younger than you?'

‘She’s 17. Thinks I’m just so lame and embarrassing.’

'Well, to be fair, if she's 17 then you probably are. Plus I bet all her friends have huge crushes on you which doesn't help.'

‘I mean, who wouldn’t have a huge crush on me?’

‘Well. Besides Liyah. Gross.’

'And so humble and charming. Makes the girls swoon.'

‘Even you?’

‘I’m getting there. Would you like that?’

‘I mean’

‘I definitely wouldn’t complain’

‘Good. Maybe if you’re around I’ll see you again soon.’

‘That seems cryptic.’

‘You sure you want to leave it up to chance?’

‘It always works in rom coms. Have you seen Serendipity?’

‘Is that the one with John Cusack?’

‘Also I usually don’t trust life to be much like a romcom’

‘Yes it is the one with John Cusack. And I guess my experience hasn’t been very rom com like either, you have a point.’

‘I guess if I put it out into the universe that I’m usually at the coffee shop on 11th Ave on Wednesdays after my 4pm lecture gets out at 6 then maybe that’ll work.’

'Hm. Yeah, that might help the universe work its shit out a bit better.'

'Have you ever tried the Himalayan place on Yonge?'

‘I have not. Is it good?’

'Oh, it's the best. Staff is super nice and they have the best chocolate croissants in the world.'

‘Oh man you’re speaking my language. I love chocolate croissants!’

‘Yeah? They’re my favorite’

'I bet they're a great study food.'

‘I can’t say I know for sure yet. Should we find out?’

'I'd recommend it. They're great fuel for writing, so I don't see why studying would be any different.'

‘Hmmm. You free this Wednesday?’

'I'm always free for coffee and croissants.'

‘Well, tea.’

‘Perfect! Meet me there at 6:15?’

‘Yeah, totally’

+

Lydia has a crush. She’d be lying to herself if she says didn’t realize it at the dinner party where she met him. Having coffee with him, however brief, solidified it.

He was taking up a good deal of her attention when she wasn’t either studying or babysitting so she found she didn’t have time, or want to make time, for much else. She’d rather be texting him anyway.

So when she got the invite from Kristin and Allison for sushi and karaoke one Saturday night, she weighed it against cuddling under a blanket with her phone talking to him about nothing and everything. She turned down the invite.

When Margo casually mentioned that he was going, Lydia changed her plans. She walked into that karaoke bar in a clingy black t-shirt dress and her favorite black leather booties.

She might take him home tonight.

He gets to the karaoke bar early because he's so nervous. He figured Lydia would be studying or babysitting this Saturday night, but he'd braved a text to her anyway, asking if she was going. Just in case.

He holds his phone with slightly shaking fingers when she texts back twenty minutes later that, yes, she'll be there. He spends the next hour debating what outfit to wear, even though Saturday is still three days away. He even texts pictures to his stylist for her opinion. She always knows how to make him look his best.

So he's sitting at their booth in the corner, right next to the karaoke stage, nervously chewing on some Edamame when he sees her walk in. He almost chokes. She's always making him almost choke. He needs to just... stop consuming things around her.

He wants to wave her over, but he also doesn't want to look desperate, so instead he pretends he doesn't see her and leans in for another soybean. It almost slips out of his fingers, but his musician's reflexes save his dignity.

He’s fumbling with edamame when she spots him. She tries not to grin too hard at the flush in his cheeks. But he’s so fucking cute and it’s been almost a week since coffee. She find herself feeling a little flustered too, actually.

He sees her approach their group and pass out hugs from the corner of his eye, but he keeps his focus on the food and the sake martini he's nursing. God, he wishes he were cooler. He's supposed to be really cool. He's a fucking rockstar. With fans. Who throw bras at him on stage sometimes. None of that translates, though, when he's in front of her.

She strides over and hugs everyone at the table, saving him for last so she can sit with him. She leans in and whispers “hi” into his ear, leaving a little smudge from her maroon lipstick on his cheek. She swipes it off with her thumb.

“Woops. My bad.”

Then he feels her small hand on his shoulder and her lips on his cheek and his heart stutters in his chest. She whispers in his ear and it's all he can do not to groan like a total idiot. He knows his cheeks are pink but he hopes it's too dark for her to notice.

He laughs a little when she has to wipe some lipstick from his face and finally turns to look at her. She settles next to him and he wonders if it's on purpose or out of convenience. "Hey," he says, "You made it!"

She settles in next to him and orders a cocktail because this place has a bunch of funny, crazy drinks. Hers is fluorescent blue and sporting about 30 paper umbrellas. She sips at it for courage.

The drink she orders is like, bright neon blue and he can't help but laugh at her a little while she struggles to sip around all the umbrellas. "You know, I think a sake bomb would bit lot easier to handle for the same pay off."

She angles her chin around an umbrella to reach her straw. “I know, but I hate sake and I like tiny umbrellas. So Thunderpunch is the drink for me.” She winks at him and bites her straw.

“So, who’s up first to sing?” She angles a glance at him.

She looks at him like she's expecting him to hop up on stage, and he rolls his eyes a bit.

"Don't look at me. Maybe I'm tired of performing, for once," he teases as he quirks an expecting brow and smirks.

The table debates who should sing first. Shawn turns it down which she thinks is cute. She’s not sure if he’s being humble or if he’s just not drunk enough yet. He looks at her expectantly and her eyes bug a little.

“Dude, I just got here, I need, like... 3 more of these before I get on that stage.”

Finally, it’s decided Margo will kick them off because she’s already lit and does a surprisingly good job with “Crazy in Love.”

As she sings, Lydia leans over and swipes a tuna roll off Shawn’s plate with her chopsticks. When he looks up at her, she pops it in her mouth and smirks as she chews.

Lydia gives him this teasing look that makes him feel a little like they’re on a date, and not at a group hang. He rolls his eyes at her and pretends to protect his plate, clicking his tongue at her.

He quirks a brow, says, “That’ll cost ya, you know.”

He reaches over towards her plate with his chopsticks and steals one of her pan fried gyoza. He shoves the whole thing in his mouth then grins at her with a bulging cheek.

Shawn swipes a dumpling and she has to fight the urge to plant a kiss on his cheek as he chews. The Thunderpunch must be hitting her faster than she meant it to.

He swallows the dumpling and wipes the corner of his mouth with his napkin before turning slightly, angling himself towards Lydia. “So, should we get you another Thunderpunch so you’ll get up and put on a show for me?”

She raises her eyebrows. “A show for you? It’s tempting, I’ll admit. But I should warn you I really can’t sing. And yes, I will need another Thunderpunch before I pretend to try.”

She waves down the waiter with a big, flirty smile to get what she wants. The second Thunderpunch arrives within minutes and Chris complains that Lydia’s orders always arrive first.

Lydia shrugs a shoulder and eyes Shawn, “It’s all in the art of the flirt, bro.”

She looks at him like they have a secret to share and Shawn feels his face heat up, just a bit. He wants to scoot closer to her, but he also doesn’t want to seem weird or pushy.

He smirks at her instead, tilts his head and says, “Yeah, and I’m sure the fact that you’re beautiful doesn’t hurt, either,” he glances at the waiter, “Dude’s probably hoping for a phone number.”

He doesn’t mean to like, suggest she should give the waiter her number. It’s just probably true. Like, who wouldn’t want Lydia’s number?

Shawn compliments Lydia like he’s stating a very obvious fact. I mean, she knew by the way he treats her that he’s attracted to her, but hearing him say it so simply has her a little giggly. So does the second Thunderpunch.

“He can hope. I don’t see it happening, though.” She’s looking over at the waiter until she finishes speaking, then she moves her glance meaningfully to Shawn. She sucks down the last of her Thunderpunch and hums happily.

He tries not to read into the look Lydia gives him when she says the waiter won’t be getting her number. He doesn’t want to think on it too hard, doesn’t want to let himself believe that maybe she’s not looking to hand out her number because she’s starting to like him the way he likes her.

He orders a beer when the waiter comes back and realizes he had a good deal of drinking to do to catch up with everyone else.

She’s relieved to see Shawn joining in eagerly on the heavy drinking. She can’t wait to hear him sing. She wonders what song he’ll pick.

But now that she’s heavily and thoroughly Thunderpunched, her friends are looking at her expectantly and it’s time to do the damn thing.

Lydia finishes her bright blue drink and pops up like she’s determined to kick karaoke’s ass and Shawn can’t do anything but grin and watch as she makes her way to the stage. He sits back, relaxing against the back of the booth and sipping from him beer as he waits for her song.

She tries not to think about the fact that there’s a gorgeous popstar with actual singing talent sitting at the table watching her as she ascends the stage. The opening notes to “Stronger” by Britney Spears come on and Lydia grins, starting her performance.

“Stronger” starts playing and that’s so fucking awesome, Shawn has to put down his beer so he can applaud. He whistles as she takes the mic.

It’s more of Lydia shout singing and laughing than actually trying to do Britney any justice, but Shawn loves it. He loves watching her have fun. He loves watching her smile and flush and dance around like she doesn’t give a shit who’s watching.

He really hopes she’s starting to like him the way he so totally and completely already likes her.

She’s not going to be on Broadway any time soon but if it’s a show he wanted, it’s a show he got.

She’s still panting and giggling when she returns from the table, high fiving all her friends as they cheer her on. She saves his reaction for last.

She tilts her head at him and wiggles her eyebrows. She squishes into the booth next to him and orders another Thunderpunch from the very attentive waiter who looks annoyed at how close she’s sitting to Shawn.

He’s laughing and clapping when Lydia comes back to the table, high-fiving their friends along the way. She reaches him last and he feels his heart rattle his ribcage as he smiles up at her, his cheeks aching at this point.

She squeezes in next to him and it’s the alcohol coursing through his veins and the adrenaline from watching her dance around that has him casually draping his arm across the back of the booth close to her shoulders. Nearly touching. One little shift and they’d be touching.

“Ok, Mr. Mendes, were you satisfied with your show?”

He nods eagerly at her question. The bar is loud again as another person gives it a go with an *NSYNC song, so Shawn has to lean into her as he nearly shouts, “Better than Britney, herself, Hamilton!”

She laughs heartily, buoyed by his warm arm so close to her buzzing body. She leans back a little into it.

“That’s very generous. And total bullshit.”

She thanks the waiter when he brings her drink. She crosses her legs toward Shawn and claps for the poor sap who tried to do *NSYNC.

He grins when she calls his crap, but then he shakes his head and wets his lips. He looks at her seriously as he says, “Art is subjective, Lydia. They didn’t teach you that at Brown?”

He winks at her as he sits back a little and sips his beer, realizing mid-sip that now his arm is actually resting against her back. Suddenly, he feels way too hot.

God, he’s winking and joking and teasing her and her whole body is bubbling with it. She wants to kiss him right there in front of everyone, put her hands all over his body. She’s definitely drunk now but she’d still be lusting after him if she were sober, she knows.

“Ok,” Lydia prompts, nudging him with her elbow, “You’re up, cowboy.”

He’s setting his beer down when Lydia nudges him. He shakes his head a little at first.

“I’m not much of a singer,” he says facetiously, giving her a teasing glance.

“But, you know, if you insist,” he forces himself to stand, even though he’s drunk and definitely nervous. And not because of performing, but who he’s performing for.

‘Valerie’ by Amy Winehouse begins to play as Shawn takes his place at the mic. He tries not to stare at her while he sings, and instead plays to the crowd. His heart hammers the whole time.

Lydia scooches out of his way so he can take the stage. It’s a little comical how clearly he belongs there. He doesn’t have a guitar or 30,000 screaming women but he has that fucking voice that has Lydia wet in her panties. She crosses her legs tighter each time he catches her eyes while he sings, closing his eyes when he gets into it, caressing the microphone.

She has to stifle a moan. Margo elbows her in the ribs. Lydia giggles until he sits back down to thunderous applause, not just from their table, but from the whole bar.

She claps for him, smiles wide when he ambles back over to the table as the crowd cheers for him. He squishes himself beside her once more, even though there’s another, wider spot at the other side of the table he could settle into.

“Ok, you threw down the gauntlet,” Lydia laughs, shaking her head at him.

“I mean, you were taunting me,” he says with a smirk, turning towards her and not bothering to pretend he’s not leaning into her on purpose. His arm settles confidently across the back of the booth, pressing gently into her shoulders, and it’s definitely thanks to the alcohol.

Lydia licks her lips and narrows her eyes, tucking some wilting red curls behind her ear. “Honey, if you think that was taunting, wait until you get me started.”

She flutters her eyelashes at him playfully over her glass as she sucks down the last of her third Thunderpunch.

“So are you gonna answer?” He leans in so close his nose nearly brushes her cheek. He pulls back, only slightly, so he can look her in her pretty green eyes. His stomach flips and he suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. She’s so fucking beautiful.

He’s talking so close to her ear, baiting her. She wants to turn and nip at his lower lip to teach him a lesson. Instead, she stares into those delightfully bleary honey brown eyes for a few seconds too long before she turns to the table.

“Who wants to see my party trick?” she calls. Chris’s eyes widen as the rest of the table cheers.

Lydia stands, grinning again, giving Shawn one last lingering look before she heads back to the stage.

Margo nudges Shawn’s arm, shaking her head, and laughs, “You’re gonna love this.”

The whole table cheers for Lydia, and all he can do is smile like the drunk idiot he is and stare at her as she makes her way up onto the stage. He has no fucking clue what her party trick could be.

In college, Lydia was known at parties for two things: 1. She could never remember that she hated gin until she drank it and almost spit it up 2. She could rap Eminem’s “Without Me” flawlessly from start to finish.

He nearly spits out his beer when she starts rapping. She’s not even looking at the screen. She’s playing to the crowd and looking at him and he feels his cheeks go fire red as he cheers her on. She’s doing more than justice to the song, and Shawn swears he’s never had a bigger crush on anyone in his entire life.

The liquor helped her put a flourish on it for him. She has the whole joint singing with her. She leaves the stage to raucous cheers and returns to the table. Standing in front of Shawn, she drops her nonexistent mic.

He laughs at her as she drops an imaginary mic in front of him, and it’s not even a competition anymore. He shakes his head and claps for her as she squeezes back into the seat beside him.

She felt like a rockstar coming back to the table. Is this what he feels like coming off stage every night? This is awesome.

He drapes his arm once more across the booth and her shoulders, leaning in as he shouts over the crowd, “I didn’t know you were secretly a gangster!”

He must be drunker than he thought because his free hand finds her bare knee as he speaks, and he doesn’t even realize it until his thumb’s already busy rubbing circles against her soft skin.

“I did it at parties in college. Made me very popular at frats,” she tells him, almost hissing when his hand meets her knee. He doesn’t even seem to notice he’s done it.

She’s looking between the curls falling on his forehead and his slightly parted wet lips. She swallows.

“HEY!” Margo yells at them like she’s been trying to get their attention for a minute.

Lydia looks over, annoyed. Margo smirks. “We’re doing ‘Island in the Sun.’ But by all means, you two stay here.”

Margo marches off to the stage before Lydia can react. She looks back at Shawn and strokes a hand over his wrist while he continues rubbing her leg.

He hears Margo shout at him but he can’t bring himself to look away from Lydia’s flushed cheeks and full lips. Her eyes shift to their friend, but Shawn keeps watching her. He smiles a little when she gives him her attention again and places her small hand over his wrist. He presses his thumb a little harder on her skin and tugs his lower lip into his mouth with his teeth.

Lydia’s confident smile drops a little when she watches from a close distance as he bites down on his lower lip while he’s staring at her. Like she’s the most delicious thing he’s ever seen.

“Hi,” she murmurs even though the bar has only gotten louder.

He laughs a little, but he nods his head and says hi back. He feels some of his hair fall against his forehead, that one obnoxious curl that always falls down when he’s been bopping a little too hard.

He glances down at her lips for just a moment, then finds her eyes once again. He wants to kiss her. He needs to. His throat is tight and his skin feels too hot wrapped around his muscles, but he manages to find his voice, anyway.

His brows furrow slightly, his head tilting as he asks, “Can I kiss you? Please?”

If she were sober, she’d have noticed that she actually whimpers at the way he looks at her lips. Instinctively, she licks them, getting ready. Before he even asks his question, her free hand is creeping up his shoulder to hold her steady.

Her chest shudders. She grins, feeling confident again when his unflinching politeness strikes again. She brushes her nose over his and nods, choosing not to trust her voice for this.

Her body language almost begs him to kiss her, but he still feels a sense of relief wash over him when she nods her approval, her nose brushing against his in a way that has his heart clenching. He groans a gentle sigh and nudges his face forward.

He seems to sigh in relief when she gives him permission and it may just be the most adorable thing he does all night.

His lips slide against hers and he’s pretty sure he’s forgotten how to breathe. She tastes like soy sauce and alcohol and he has to pull his hand from her knee so he can cup her jaw, steadying himself against her.

He sips at her lips while the bar raves around them, but he can’t hear it. He can only hear the way his lips move against hers and the way his heart thumps loudly against his ribcage. It makes a pretty melody, he thinks.

The kiss isn’t adorable. The kiss is fucking incredible. Maybe they’re both kinda drunk and full of karaoke adrenaline, but it’s quite a kiss. She’s definitely not ready for it to end when he starts to pull away.

So she doesn’t. She loops a hand around his neck and drags him back under, tracing the seam of his perfect lips with her tongue because she needs more, she needs to get closer.

She pulls him back in with a small yet firm hand on the back of his neck. This time he lets himself groan properly as her tongue teases his lips. He opens his mouth for her, let’s her lick at him before he sucks gentle at her wandering tongue.

When he groans into her mouth, she scratches a manicured thumbnail gently across the back of his neck.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t initially have concerns that he might not be any good at this. At kissing or at anything else. He’s young and even though he’s hot and famous, he might not have had time to get good with a woman’s body yet. And, hell, being hot and famous gives him more of an excuse not to have to try.

But Shawn has put the work in. She can tell. He’s got a big hand in her hair and she suddenly feels very safe with him, like he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

It takes all of his willpower not to wrap her up in his arms and pull her onto his lap. He grounds himself by pushing his hand into her hair and grazing his fingers over her scalp. He hums into her mouth, leaning forward into the kiss so she has to lean back against the booth to accommodate him.

He presses into her and she’s pinned, not aggressively, between him and the peeling fake leather booth and there’s nowhere she’d rather be.

He only breaks the kiss to pant for air. He keeps close to her though, keeps his hand in her hair and his nose pressed to hers as his eyes flutter open and his check heaves.

“So are you good at everything? Or are school, rapping, and kissing your specialities?”

She almost chases him again when he parts from her to talk but she manages to keep her cool. She takes the hand still resting on his wrist to place it on his cheek. It might be too affectionate so soon but she doesn’t care right now.

She stops herself from making a comment about definitely being good at everything, wink wink, if ya know what I mean. Instead she grins and brushes their noses together again.

“I also skateboard pretty well. Or I used to. I haven’t tried in a bit.”

She doesn’t want to get distracted by more small talk so she pulls him back in as their friends’ song ends.

She kisses him again and he takes it easily, sighing against her lip. His head buzzes but he’s not sure it’s from the alcohol anymore. People keep singing, the bar keeps cheering, and they kiss right through it. They’re in the back, basically in the corner, so it’s not out in the open enough for Shawn to be worried.

Eventually Margo makes her way back to the table and Shawn can feel her squishing into the seat next to him while she hollers at them. He pulls away from Lydia’s lips with a blush on his face and drops his forehead to her shoulder. He hides from Margo while she cackles and tells them they should get a room.

“This is a room,” he shouts over the music from his spot on Lydia’s shoulder.

He feels Margo’s elbow dig into his back as she huffs, “You know what I mean!”  All he can do is laugh and keep hiding because now he is thinking about a room, alone, with Lydia, and all the things he could do to her. Or that she could do to him. Whatever she wants, really.

Lydia definitely doesn’t notice when their booth fills back up with their friends who have now caught them and fuck, they’re never gonna live this down. Lydia jumps a little when Margo runs up and starts wailing at them about PDA. She feels his forehead meet her shoulder and she can’t help but cradle the back of his head.

He stays there against her arm for a while like a shy child. Lydia plays with the collar of his shirt while half-watching another group sing We Are Family. She’s barely able to make it through the song without looking over and grinning at him like an idiot.

Lydia lets him keep his face pressed to the junction of her shoulder for the next few minutes while their friends chat, holler, and cheer for the group on stage. He likes it, being tangled up in her while her delicate fingers play with the collar of his shirt. His heart clenches.

Finally, the song ends and Lydia can’t take it anymore. She wriggles away from him and stands, addressing the table.

“It’s been fun, guys, but it’s past my bedtime. Margo, thank you for organizing. Uhm, so, bye.”

Before he can get too comfortable, however, Lydia extracts herself from him, slipping out of the booth as she stands up. He frowns, just for the briefest of moments, as he sits himself up and looks at her while she bids the group goodbye. It’s awkward and sudden and for a second he wonders what he did wrong.

Just to be safe, because he seems too sweet to catch her drift without her really throwing it at him, she fixes him with a look and even a little head jerk toward the door before she strides off.

But then she’s looking at him and jerking her head a little. It’s like, the kind of jerking nod that you give when you want someone to follow you. He kind of thinks he’s imagining it. She stalks away from them and disappears through the doors of the restaurant, leaving him to wonder if she really meant for him to follow or if he’s just desperate (re: drunk) enough to have hallucinated it.

He waits maybe 15 seconds before deciding to follow her, hallucination or not. He says a pathetically quick goodbye and practically runs out of the restaurant, scanning the sidewalk when he emerges outside.

Lydia doesn’t have to wait long for him but it is one of the longest minutes of her life. Because if he didn’t get it, she’s going to have to go in after him. Because she really, really wants to take him home.

But, thank god, he scrambles out the door looking for her. Her face bursts into an overeager smile and she gives him a little wave with one hand, Lyft app open on her phone in the other.

“Subtlety is not our strong suit, Mendes,” she teases, glancing around the sidewalk. No ones around because it’s late but she’s suspicious of camera phones anyway. She doesn’t really care but she figures he’d prefer a low profile going home with someone.

Because she’s taking him home. God, she can’t wait.

The Lyft arrives. She opens the door and climbs in, leaving it open. “Shall we?”

Taglist: @softboyshawn @marlahey @smallerinfinities @crapri @the-claire-bitch-project @stillinskislydia @abigfatmess @sippingchai @lostinshawnslight

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes rpf #shawn mendes roleplay #shawn mendes imagine

[raptorsandpoultry]

Does my bird recognize me?

I was asked the other week if I think the birds I work with “know” who I am and can distinguish me from other humans. Personally, I can tell that the hens and turkeys I train at the research laboratory, the raptors I work with in the evenings, and my own pet chickens behave towards me in a way that’s different from how they react to other human beings, suggesting that they do recognize me as an individual. But, as a someone working in behavioural research and running a science-based blog, of course I’m not going to leave you all with nothing but personal anecdotes!

Hypothetically, chickens (and other birds that live in complex social groups) are capable of telling the difference between human faces, at the very least. We can make this assumption based on the fact that 1) individuals living in societies with selective/affiliative relationships/hierarchies (as chickens most certainly do) have to be able to differentiate between each other and remember each others’ features (eye position, beak length, feather colour/pattern, movement/behaviour pattern, vocalizations, etc.) to survive (I’ve previously touched on this here). If no one recognize anyone and keep track of who’s above and below who, there would be total chaos! 2), Pigeons have been trained to discriminate not only between different people’s faces, but between different genders and emotions as well (Watanabe and Masuda, 2010). There are no official scientific reports of similar tests being done with chickens that I could find, but based on their behavioural biology, and the things that I’ve personally trained chickens to do for my research, I’m confident that they’d be more than capable of it, too.

(Photo from https://experiment.com/projects/how-do-birds-see-the-world)

So, while it’s more than likely that chickens can discriminate between different human faces, this does not strictly mean they recognize their subject as individuals, per se. Individual recognition requires that the bird can recognize someone as a whole, and not just a forward-facing portrait of that person, as most recognition experiments do (Tibbetts and Dale, 2007). The bird has to be capable of forming a mental image of an individual from any angle, and also be able to use other identifying features other than the face, such as the person’s mannerisms and voice, like I mentioned above. Apparently, pigeons have difficulty with this. And again, there’s nothing in the literature for it using chickens as a subject. But, I think any backyard poultry owner who’s experienced the joy of their birds eagerly running over for treats or cuddles while ignoring other humans would strongly agree that they recognize their owner (and have positively associated them with food and maybe even affection, no less!), especially if you hatch your own chicks and have them imprint on you.

(Gyrfalcon photo by me, please ask before re-posting)

On a side note, let’s consider non-social birds, like raptors. Most raptors, with a few exceptions, live solitary lives in the wild outside of breeding season. They don’t live in large groups, and don’t have to deal with pecking orders. At the very least, they might have to remember if they’ve had to chase away the same intruder from their territory before, or if they chose the same partner to mate with the previous year. When I’m doing shows/presentations with my raptors, people frequently also ask me if the bird I’m holding “knows” me. I respond by saying that it’s more likely that things are the other way around - I know the bird very well. I know how to approach and handle the bird in the ways that make them feel most comfortable, I know what the possible stressors are in its environment that sets them off that I have to work to avoid, and all of their other quirks. All of this knowledge/understanding of the bird helps me give them as positive an interaction with me as possible during every training session, resulting in them being more comfortable with me, as opposed to a novice trainer/someone who has never worked with that specific bird before. This may also partly factor into why chickens behave differently in response to certain owners, compared to other humans they encounter. For example, a big part of the reason that my chickens seem to always want to be near me (other than the fact that I’m basically a constant source of treats), but avoid my parents, probably has to do with the fact that I specifically know how to walk up to/pet/feed them without accidentally startling or intimidating them.

As another side note, some birds discriminate and remember human faces for years, without tons of training involved. These include species in urban environments that often interact with humans. Mockingbirds that are disturbed by a human in a mask while they’re sitting on their eggs will display increasingly threatening behaviour (alarm-calling and mobbing) with each day the masked intruder appears (Stehlin et al., 2017). However, they behave towards someone in a new mask as if they’ve only encountered them for the first time. Again though, the researchers couldn’t prove for certain whether this was due to recognition, or just discrimination. 

(American crow photo by me, please ask before re-posting)

A more famous example here on tumblr might be a similar experiment done with crows. Researchers wore masks and trapped crows, who responded by making vocalizations used as threats to ward off predators. Amazingly, these crows made the same calls if they saw someone wearing the same mask three years later (Marzluff et al., 2010). It’s also been shown that different regions of their brains respond to different emotional states in response to the mask (Marzluff et al., 2012). In another experiment, one group of crows was trapped by a researcher wearing a “threatening” mask, while the other group was captured, but also fed by a researcher wearing a “caring” mask. Seeing either the threatening or caring mask would activate different neural circuits in the crows’ brains - the first associated with negative emotions, and the second with reward. It’ll probably be a long time before any lab gets the funding to do PET scans on chickens, but until then, I think us doting chicken-lovers will happily agree that our birds know and recognize us!

(Photo from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7W95cXU24E)

References:

Watanabe S, Masuda S. Integration of auditory and visual information in human face discrimination in pigeons: Behavioral and anatomical study. Behavioural brain research. 2010 Feb 11;207(1):61-9.

Tibbetts EA, Dale J. Individual recognition: it is good to be different. Trends in Ecology & Evolution. 2007 Oct 1;22(10):529-37.

Stehlin JA, Crook-Hill J, Bailey B. Human Facial Recognition by Northern Mockingbirds. Papers & Publications: Interdisciplinary Journal of Undergraduate Research. 2017;6(1):10.

Marzluff JM, Walls J, Cornell HN, Withey JC, Craig DP. Lasting recognition of threatening people by wild American crows. Animal Behaviour. 2010 Mar 1;79(3):699-707.

Marzluff JM, Miyaoka R, Minoshima S, Cross DJ. Brain imaging reveals neuronal circuitry underlying the crow’s perception of human faces. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. 2012 Sep 6:201206109.

#animal behavior #animal cognition #birds #chicken #Raptor #crow #science #original post

[booksandchainmail]

nanoha vivid liveblog: episode 11

Time for Corona vs. Einhart!

ok, i know wendi is referring to teo, but i did misinterpret at the start as einhart has been nicknamed kitty cat

... still better than most of the other contestants

attacking from the start, before corona can summon. it’s the obvious weakness of anyone who needs prep in the way she does

but shes ready for this it seems, and starts summoning while still in the air, which is pretty cool

oooh, i don’t think anyone else has used the terrain like this. makes you wonder how corona would fare in a larger or varied arena

damn. the goliath packs a punch

Einhart know the first rule of fighting someone with a summoned creature: directly attack the controller

Or in this case, separate her from the golem to where she’s vulnerable

Oh, seems like goliath needs pretty active instructions at all times, which means with corona knocked away, he just kinda stands there and gets hit

the most brutal attack of this match

I think we’ve seen elements in this in how corona started planning from the assumption that einhart could beat her: she’s very level-headed. That extending into combat is valuable, especially in a setting like this where her opponents are also amateurs and likely to falter under pressure. Though einhart might be less vulnerable to that, due to her war memories

her strengths fit her powers well. She literally creates in order to fight, and she needs to be strategic in order to get time and space to summon.

is she gonna stab einhart

This is a very calm match, in comparison to the others we’ve seen. It’s partly that theyre friends, and there’s no grudge driving them, but also just a lot who they are as people. Einhart and corona are both relatively quiet, but also self-assured. They have good understandings of their own abilities, and you can see that here in how calmly they return to the ring, theres no worry about running out of time or how theyre going to continue

flashback time!

I really love the range of motivations and backstories this show gives the contestants. You do have people with tragic backstories, or who want to prove themselves, or have a deep passion for martial arts, but you also have those who just value the connections it brings, or for whom its just an extracurricular. You don’t need to be deeply motivated to do something, it can still be a meaningful part of your life, and you’re not lesser or shallower for it.

I also like the idea (idk if this is canon) that Corona sought out summoning because she recognized that she couldn’t keep up with normal fighting. It’s a unusual thing in a fighting show to have a character who isn’t at the same level as everyone else, and who finds their own style that draws on different strengths.

this is a great summary of everyone’s motivations, but also einhart is hilariously incongruous with the others 

OH SHIT I THOUGHT THE PARTIAL SUMMONING WAS HER NEW TECHNIQUE

HOLY

FUCKING

CHRIST

shes just knocking einhart around effortlessly

ooooooh

This makes a lot of sense for Corona’s character! She’s a clever and observant fighter who’s willing to innovate but not particularly talented, and who takes motivation primarily from her friends. Of course she studies their techniques, and of course she copies them

And no wonder einhart was caught off guard, it’s like she was suddenly fighting a different person

but einhart gets up

she’s spent her life struggling with hundreds of years of guilt and grief, and just keeps on going through all of that

i think klaus may have been defined by his loss, but einhart is defined by the strength it takes to carry that loss

…y’know, you could have rested a little bit before forcing yourself up, there was plenty of time

oh this is tricky. Can corona press an attack, which is definitely outside her normal mode of fighting, or does she give up the advantage she’s won here?

The other question is if corona also learned anything from rio, or from einhart herself, though I think using her own style against her could backfire badly

… if that’s based off vivio, it’s primarily a counter, and using it for a direct attack might not work as well

ducking like that is both well suited to the height difference, and one of vivio’s signature moves

most of how corona’s moving here fits vivio, or any of the more close quarter fighters we’ve seen, but that arm sweep looked new to me, and seems very indicative of corona’s fighting style. Calm, collected, redirecting the opponent.

and in contrast, you can see how panicked einhart looks, which is very unusual for her

Okay, things are looking bad for einhart here. But she’ll have a chance to heal, and I think the next round will go differently. A lot of corona’s success here is she’s brought out completely new techniques and styles, and einhart’s just been reeling most of the bout: all her fighting’s been very basic hand-to-hand, with basically no hegemon style attacks or more elaborate moves. But with a chance to collect herself and replan, I think einhart’s experience will let her adapt to this fairly quickly. Additionally, a lot of corona’s new moves are based off vivio, who einhart has fought (and beat) before.

so she has copied from rio as well

OH

that’s a neat twist. It explains how she was able to pick these moves up so quickly, and how she can handle without any particular skill at martial arts. This also explains why Nove disapproved: I can’t imagine using techniques meant to control large amounts of stone on your own body is particularly safe.

That’s fucking cool. 

And also a massive weakness, because it makes her predictable. If einhart can figure out what triggers one of those moves, then immediately counter based on knowing how corona will respond, she can retaliate very quickly

from your own memories, or klaus’s?

this is the complete opposite of how I’d expected an einhart vs corona fight to play out

yeah, she’s not just copying specific moves, but entire fighting styles. that is honestly incredible, especially when you consider she had to pre-program them all herself

awww, i’m glad to see she’s in there too

Having multiple settings gives corona a lot more flexibility…

...but einhart’s already figuring out the pattern

I can’t help but think this technique would work a lot better on anyone else. Corona has the disadvantage her of her opponent already knowing all the sources of her automated moves, but imagine a fight where one side keeps pulling out new completely unknown styles every couple of hits.

I guess that’s why this isn’t common

Oops

Yeah the other reason einhart can deal with this is she has a completely ridiculous level of knowledge about this one particular style

And corona is starting to fight wildly, while einhart remains calm. This is a complete reversal of the previous round

Holy fuck is that blood

~tempting faaaate~

and yup, automation is weak to feints from people who know the moveset.

Though to be fair, I don’t know if a non-automated fighter would have dealt with that any better

DOES THIS TOURNAMENT FOR CHILDREN HAVE SAFETY STANDARDS

PLEASE DO NOT MAGICALLY PUPPET YOUR OWN ENTIRE BODY

i feel like that would go badly

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

theres some excellent and creepy puppet imagery going on here

And einhart mostly just looks sad here. I’m guessing with memories of actual war, she’s not that happy about her friends pushing themselves this dangerously for a competition?

OR ITS ABOUT OLIVIE AGAIN

because this is einhart, and everything always comes back to olivie

But yeah, the puppet connection would be a bad reminder. And corona’s whole  feeling weak compared to her teammates, and wanting to be able to stand next to them, seems like it connects pretty strongly to olivie’s story 

she just looks so tired and sad here, and i’m remembering how happy she was at the idea of a way to fight without stakes, and she’s just now realizing that even if they aren’t lethal, there are still consequences to these matches

at this point, einhart is pretty in control of the battlefield. she’s brilliant at this kind of fighting, and corona doesn’t have any moves that einhart hasn’t already fought against

I’m starting to think this fight won’t end with an attack, but with corona just collapsing when her magic or body wears out

another connection to olivie with the damaged arms. this must be hell for einhart to have to fight

gods

just, can someone stop this match please? are there any kinds of precautions?

and here’s the hardest part for einhart. Because of her memories, she has a pretty unique first-hand perspective on war. I don’t think mid-childa has had a war, and certainly not recently enough to still have wartime soldiers around. And even with all the pain they cause her, there must be some comfort in the fact that olivie’s dream of peace was achieved, even at the cost of her life. But here, even in this peaceful world, there are still children willing to hurt themselves terribly in order to have the power to fight. And this must feel like such a failure and betrayal of the world to einhart. 

THEN STOP

NO, GIVE UP PLEASE

THAT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM

i want nanoha to show up to stop the match and yell at everybody about techniques that excessively strain your body

THERES MORE?!!!??!!

ok, that’s a fair point. Corona has pulled out some really impressive moves here, but she hasn’t done much in the way of golem stuff. I wonder if in her rush to make up for her weaknesses, she’s discounted her own techniques too much?

finally

corona has amazing terrain manipulation abilities. combine that with her summoning, the automated moves, and even i guess the full body technique, and she’s maybe the most versatile fighter we’ve seen. In a larger area with unfamiliar opponents, or as support for a team, she’d be devastating.

all those anime characters who dramatically slice rocks in half with a sword have nothing compared to einhart

ooh, nice feint using the partial summon as well as the big one. even here at the end, corona continues to fight smart

and now she has a ranged attack as well. no matter the outcome of the tournament, i’m voting corona for mvp

awwwwww

and she uses binding magic as well, because apparently corona reacted to not being as good at punching people as her friends by learning EVERYTHING ELSE

bit of tonal dissonance, but awwwww kitty!

and her golem can reassemble itself.

corona is amazing

but einhart is the martial arts master, and she just stops it stone cold

what a hell of a match. this was definitely my favorite fight so far, and the finale’s gonna have a tough time topping that. The variety of techniques and strategies used, as well as the brilliant character work on corona and einhart, made this incredible to watch. 

it was hard fought, and corona pulled out ten times what anyone expected from her, but in the end einhart managed a victory

but in the aftermath, she just looks defeated

this was a hard match emotionally on all sides

(i count myself as a side)

#magical girl lyrical nanoha vivid #nanoha vivid liveblog #nanoha vivid #magical girl lyrical nanoha #vivid #mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha #long post

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THERE'S AN EVEN BETTER WAY TO DESCRIBE THIS SITUATION IS ALSO TEMPORARY

My usual trick is to claim that they'll only invest contingently on other investors doing so because otherwise you'd be undercapitalized. In fact, it's just as well not exist. I deliberately pander to readers, because it has large libraries for manipulating strings. When you have multiple founders who were already friends before they decided to start a gasoline powered generator inside our offices. 2 months during which the company is actually more valuable.1 The professors will get whoever they admit as their own grad students, because all three are doable.2 The golden age of economic equality in the mid 20th century.

How do you break the connection between nerds and technology? Investors are rich enough to be sure signs of bad algorithms.3 Maybe it's a good idea for a small amount of force applied at just the point where they would do a lot of founders that we have enough data points to see patterns clearly. A company to compensate for the opportunity cost of the board may even help VCs pick better. The alarming thing is that it will set off the alarms sufficiently early, you may be able to phrase it in terms of the visa that they couldn't get grad students, so we were on Version 4. I think I see now what went wrong with philosophy, and how much is due to Jessica Livingston and Chris Steiner for reading drafts of this.4 Bad Programmers I forgot to include this in the early stages.5 So if you want to discover great new things often come from outsiders. Y18. Checks on purchases will always be a few languages, I'm not eager to fix that. It was striking how old fashioned this sounded.6 The term angel round doesn't mean that it's a pretty clever piece of jiujitsu to set this irresistible force against the slightly less immovable object of becoming rich.

Perhaps, if design and research converge, the best pickers should have more hits.7 Libraries are one place Common Lisp falls short.8 Then I'd sleep till about 11 am, and come with tougher terms. Six weeks is fast. This group says one thing. We've raised $800,000, but to design beautiful software, would be enough to feel like a late bloomer than a failed child prodigy. If you draw a tree and you change the angle of a branch five degrees, no one stopped to wonder where the big returns are. Here are the alternatives considered if the filter sees FREE!9 Appendix: Examples of Filtering Here is an example of applied empathy. I happened to get hold of a copy of something they made, e. In software, it means you don't have to pay for Facebook. That's not a promising lead and should therefore get low priority, but it's not the distinction between statements and expressions, so you have to be introduced to them.

Startups So these, I think in the coming century is a huge one. They just can't make up their minds.10 American immigration policy keeps out most smart people, and what to do; they'll start to engage in office politics. If you plan to get rich by creating wealth, not all of them work on interesting stuff. The melon seed model is more like architecture. So let's be clear what reducing economic inequality means eliminating startups. We can see this on a small scale: in thoughts of a sentence or two. The reason credentials have such prestige is that for most of Octopart's life, the cruelty and the boredom, both have the same kind of stock representing the total pool of companies they fund. Incidentally, the switch in the 1920s to financing growth with retained earnings till the 1920s. I'm sure every language has such tradeoffs though I suspect the best we'll be able to sit on corporate boards till the Glass-Steagall act in 1933. We still don't require it, but thoughtful people aren't willing to use a more fluid medium like pencil or ink wash or oil paint.

And when you agree there's less to say. I've described. Here are the terms: a $2 million investment, make five $400k investments. But in practice innovations were so rare that you can't change the question. Some ideas are easy for people to come back to bite them, it will probably fail. A few ideas from it turned out I was 450 years too late.11 This is a controversial view. One of the reasons I like being part of this talk. 75% of the stress comes from dealing with investors, hiring and investment decisions, and to Steve Melendez and Gregory Price for inviting me to speak at BBN.

Money September 2013 Most startups that raise money. Was it their religion?12 The immense value of the company. But if it's inborn it should be better not just for founders but for investors too. This is just as lumpy and idiosyncratic as the human body. Some people still get rich by creating wealth and getting paid proportionately, it would not be able to get smart people to be good at programming is to work on. It's not something you can learn, or at least inevitable form, but it's woven into the story instead of being absorbed by the normal people they're usually surrounded with. This is not only incomplete, but positively misleading, if it was overvalued till you see what the earnings turn out to work will probably seem flamingly obvious in retrospect.13

Notes

And since there are only pretending to in the services, companies building lightweight clients have usually tried to motivate them. Add water as specified on rice cooker. They assumed that their prices stabilize. If a prestigious VC makes a small amount of material wealth, and so thought disproportionately about such customs.

The second assumption I made because the outside edges of curves erode faster. In effect they were only partly joking. Org Worrying that Y Combinator is we hope visited mostly by people who might be a great thing in itself, and also really good at design, or even being deliberately misleading by focusing on people who run them would be enough to be promising. Which in turn forces Digg to respond with extreme countermeasures.

I'm just going to use to calibrate the weighting of the organization—specifically by sharding it. I swapped them to keep tweaking their algorithm to get the money invested in a reorganization. If early abstract paintings seem more powerful sororities at your school sucks, and large bribes by the fact that they think the top stories were de facto consulting firm. The situation we face here, which has been decreasing globally.

Charles Darwin was 22 when he received an invitation to travel aboard the HMS Beagle as a result a lot easier now for a startup at a famous university who is highly regarded by his peers. But that doesn't mean easy, of S P 500 CEOs in 2002 was 35,560. The ordering system, the work goes instead into the world you'd want to live in a wide variety of situations, but I couldn't think of the magazine they'd accepted it for had disappeared in a reorganization.

World War II had disappeared.

There are two very different types of startups will generally raise large amounts of other VCs who don't care about may not have to go to die. A rounds from top VC funds whether it was spontaneous. If you try to accept that investors don't like the iPad because it made a better influence on your product, and earns the right mindset you will find a blog that tried to preserve optionality.

I mean type I startups. In fact, we met Rajat Suri.

It's not a VC is interested in each type of thing. World War II had disappeared in a series A investor has a finite market value. Technology has always been accelerating.

But there are no false negatives.

But it's a bad idea the way to avoid sticking.

This law does not appear to be able to hire any first-time founder again he'd leave ideas that are hard to imagine that there may be that the meaning of a startup in question usually is doing badly in your country controlled by the investors agree, and Jews about. They hoped they were just getting kids to say about these: I wouldn't bet on it.

There's a variant of the markets they serve, because you're throwing off your own? As far as I know of a startup you have for endless years of training, and partly because a there was a very noticeable change in how Stripe felt. We may never do that.

The second biggest regret was caring so much attention. Users dislike their new operating system so much to generalize. Do College English Departments Come From?

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #amount #clients #bloomer #term #question #software #sup #students #century #startup #board #Investors #wealth #purchases #people #market #ideas #returns #II #view #religion #Y18 #startups #Departments #Lisp

[skyhelmwriter]

Okay. This is coming kinda outta nowhere, and I apologize for that. But to be fair, you’re the one who clicked an untitled read more, so this essay on defining apologies and forgiveness is at least partly your fault.

I think a large problem our current culture (specifically White American culture) has is a lack of understanding of what it means to be forgiven. And I think this is an issue on both a personal and a sociological scale. Let’s start with an anecdote.

I grew up with one older brother and no other siblings. And whenever one of us would do something that hurt the other, we’d be told to apologize, and then the offended (or physically injured) party would be told to forgive. Of course, we were like five years old and it’s not like our parents were explaining those words. So we just ran around hollowly requesting and handing out forgiveness. Inevitably, some emotional wounds festered, and we had no way of telling which ones until they exploded.

From the way I see people talk about forgiveness in media, I think a lot of white folks got the same treatment. We grew up being essentially seeing forgiveness as an obligatory addition, the “not much” to I’m sorry’s “what’s up,” the “you’re welcome/no problem” to I’m sorry’s “thank you.” And what’s more, I’m sorry didn’t actually mean anything, either, just like “what’s up” or “bless you.” It was just something we said to be polite, it was a societal motion to go through.

In case you’re not seeing what I’m saying, let me put it plain. I, along with I suspect many white folks, was raised (probably inadvertently) to view an apology as meaningless filler, and forgiveness as obligatory when an apology was uttered. It’s reflexive for me to tell someone who says I’m sorry that It’s okay, or to say I forgive you if someone says I apologize. I was raised to believe that forgiveness was a contractual obligation if someone apologized, no matter how hollow that apology was. And, again, I suspect that this goes for many white people.

The first implication of this is the most obvious. It’s what you see all the time, the assumption that “he said he was sorry” or “he regrets what he did” means that his victims ought to forgive him. I say he because let’s be honest here, most of the problems come from white men. Or you see white folks who think that because we freed the slaves (which, by the way, we didn’t fucking do. That was 150 fucking years ago) and we gave black people the right to vote that suddenly “we’re cool.” Like that erases centuries of enslavement, cultural erasure, and flat-out genocide from history. Like not killing any more Native Americans makes up for killing most of them.

I’m making this about race, yes. Because it’s the most notable place to see this. Because, again, it’s mostly white folks who’ve gotten this sort of conditioning. And it’s white folks who are issuing the meaningless apologies from positions of privilege and expecting things to be smooth sailing from there.

But, and I know I’m preaching to the choir on this one, that’s not what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is not an act that can be forced on someone. Forgiveness must occur naturally. And sure, with practice, you can forgive someone for just about anything, and really mean it, but as ideal as turning the other cheek sounds, I ain’t about to forgive fuckin’ Nazis for the goddamn Holocaust. I ain’t about to forgive abusive folks for their abuse. I ain’t about to forgive the United States for all the atrocities it has committed, and indeed the ones it is committing right now. But I’m getting off topic.

To expect forgiveness, to believe that you deserve it is to miss the point of forgiveness entirely. Forgiveness is something done selflessly. It is something done in its due course. We can exercise a modicum of control over our own forgiveness. We can choose to hold grudges, or more neutrally to believe that someone (or a group of someones) hasn’t redeemed themselves, that they haven’t done enough to be forgiven by us just yet. But we can exercise no control over another’s forgiveness.

Which brings me to the second implication. What? You thought I wouldn’t have structure? I do have standards. Anyway, the second implication is harder to notice, but I want you to think about something I said earlier, about how saying I forgive someone is reflexive for me. Imagine what that can do to someone in an abusive relationship. Imagine what that can do if it’s imprinted on someone by an abusive parent. The reflexive acceptance of apologies makes us easier to manipulate, and more importantly, it makes it harder for us to see people earnestly, honestly apologize and not forgive them, even when we’d otherwise be unable to do so.

And this is where #MeToo comes in. When the (mostly white) men don’t categorically deny what they’ve done, they issue lengthy, seemingly heartfelt apologies. The one that springs to mind for me is Louis CK’s. I won’t link it here, mostly because I don’t want to go look for it (I’m a lazy shit, I know), but I read it when he wrote it. And I thought Well, it seems like he’s trying to get his shit together. And then that night, I watched as every single late night comedian tore into Louis CK and I thought shit. These were his friends. And they haven’t forgiven him. Why should I?

So...if we shouldn’t expect forgiveness from an apology, why apologize? Well, firstly, you shouldn’t say you’re sorry if you don’t mean it. Actually, let me rephrase that. You ought not to apologize if you’re not actually sorry for what you did. If thinking about what you did doesn’t fill you with negative emotions, you’re not in a position to apologize. You could feel bad for any number of reasons, but those must be selfless reasons. You can’t apologize for someone else’s feelings, only your own actions and their consequences. You are responsible for your actions and their consequences, and these are the things for which you must make amends.

Oh, you thought we weren’t gonna go there? Who do you think you’re dealing with?

The truth of apologies is that they must contain within themselves (1) honest recognition of the harm done, (2) the taking of responsibility for your actions, (3) and a clear and explicit attempt at reform. Most importantly, an apology is not a contract both parties sign dispassionately. An apology is you going up to someone and begging them to forgive you.

It’s not “I’m sorry.” It’s “What I’ve done is reprehensible. It eats me alive that I’ve hurt you. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and you’d be well within your rights to slap me in the face for even showing up here, but here I am. I’m trying to do better. Can you ever forgive me?” Alternatively, try asking if there’s anything you can do to make it up to them. A show of good faith cannot be from the person showing good faith. You must ask the other person what it would take.

And then, whatever the other person’s answer, you accept it. If they say no, that’s it. You don’t throw a tantrum. You don’t say “but I apologized!” You don’t apologize again. You nod. You say, “That’s fair,” and you turn around, and you fucking leave. If they say maybe someday, but not today, you say, “that’s more than I deserve,” and you turn around, and you leave. You don’t pester them with “are we cool yet”s. You don’t pretend like it’s all good. And if they say yes, you aren’t golden. You are on goddamn probation. Forgiveness is conditional, and it can be withdrawn at any time. If someone forgives you when you apologize, you say, “That’s more than I deserve. I’ll do everything in my power to live up to it.” And then they will watch you carefully.

If you’re lucky. If you’re extremely lucky, and if you really meant it, and if you really manage to improve, someday things might go back to what they were with that person.

And that brings me to part three.

Apologies and forgiveness are not things to ask for or perform lightly. They are not the soulless sorries and no worries we spout in our day-to-day lives. Those are pleasantries. Those are essentially contractual. We all accept that we’ll inconvenience others and that others will inconvenience us, and that’s alright. Nobody’s perfect.

But when someone fucks up bad. Or when your people have commit how many genocides again? That’s when an apology is more than just words. And it’s when forgiveness is more than just a platitude.

#apologizing #forgiveness

[vsoocannounce]

OOC SURVEY/ADMIN EVAL #1.

We do a lot of things well. Everyone is so friendly with each other, we talk about a lot together, and overall I think everyone is pretty talkative with each other in the OOC. I think it’s a lovely place to be, the majority of the roleplay agreeing! I want to thank you guys for your lovely comments on my adminning that nearly made me cry ( happy tears ). Reading the results, almost everyone agreed the environment was friendly, welcoming and something that surprised me – fast paced. For me, this came as a surprise – but I realized, though the dash is not always fast paced – the OOC Discord is. So, I think activity here is very much partly dependent on the OOC communication, if you’re around, participating, talking character headcanons etc. I definitely see why it’s fast paced, so, I’m going to maybe try to stretch out timestamps more, maybe even lengthen our activity limit, etc. I know it can be overwhelming when you’re not around to jump into the RP, so I will definitely try to be better with the summaries channel, but please know you can take your time and there’s no rush. 

A few things that I’ll note that I’m not going to change, there was a very small minority that didn’t like the different channels, felt they didn’t help the OOC, and since a large majority didn’t agree ( as well as myself ), that isn’t going to change. If you’re extremely concerned, please come to me directly and we can definitely discuss it! The people who people had problems with have either left, been kicked out, or talked to. But overall, there weren’t really any which was really good to see.

Overall, I think that we all are trying, we’re all here, I think there’s something really solid here as well. Over 85 percent of you guys felt that based on the OOC environment this RP would be long lasting, which is so fucking amazing! Like wow! I’m still shook.

But just like Our Lord and Savior Shuri has said ‘"Just because something works, doesn’t mean it can’t be improved.“

The overall theme of the things we need to work on is communication. from what I see as well as have been told, there’s a lack of it between everyone. Though we all talk with each other, there’s a lack of communication between where we all stand, what’s going on, and plotting . I want to preface this by saying, the reason I’m so strict about these certain things ( and my rules ) is because I’m very lenient regarding other things. In order for the roleplay to be successful OOC, the rules in place need to be followed, so that leniency is something I’ll be able to grant. There’s a certain idea and sense of community in this RP I’m trying to foster, communication being an important factor in this. There are people who feel ignored, people who feel the RP is hard to break into, and over half of the RP feels the RP is cliquey. Even though most they also think the clique(s) are welcoming, some feel they are hard to break into. I don’t think ANY of this is on purpose, but I can’t ignore what I’ve read & how other members are feeling. I’ll explain more below, but no matter what, it’s not acceptable & something we’re going to work on.

One thing I have noticed is the way each intro seems to have a different number of notes, which was something that I noticed early on ( I didn’t think it posed an issue then because it wasn’t that major ) which then drastically change., This denotes to me that they’re not being read or at the very least, liked, as a way to be welcoming and archive it for later. I could be wrong in this assumption, but as it’s a rule in the rules, from now on if I don’t see everyone liking intros within a week or so, I will send out messages individually. I know it seems extreme but no one in this roleplay’s intros should have less than ten notes at least & that’s being generous. There’s over 20 people in the roleplay. The numbers are off there. There is nothing that makes me feel worse than coming into an RP, posting my intro, and seeing multiple people on / around in the chat but none of them liking my intro.  A quarter of the RP have not been approached by at least three people to plot  and with all of this, these two things combined I’m most disappointed about. Because no matter what, there’s absolutely no excuse for these rules to be broken.  I’m going to be pairing everyone up for threads that they must communicate the status of within a week. Whether the starter is up and you haven’t replied, your partner hasn’t replied to your IM, you couldn’t get a starter up you’re still plotting, etc. I need you guys to communicate with me and each other.

Like each others intros. Reach out to each other to plot. Seriously.

The tags are there so you can go through them, check out everyone’s info, creations, self paras, moodboards, etc. – support each other with it. I’ll try to be more proactive myself in not only reblogging each edit on the main, but putting it into our Edits & Pinterest channel. To ease some people’s minds I’m going to make a player updates channel where everyone can put whether or not they’re on hiatus, what’s going on with them, the status of their activity & PM answering, etc. so we all know where we are with things. I think a good chunk of the miscommunication in this area can be solved with a channel like this. This is a group RP, so please try to interact with the whole group & learn about their characters because it’s only right. This is something I stress in the rules as well because no one likes to feel like them or their characters aren’t important in an RP – something a few people have been feeling.

When you talk about a headcanon that might pertain to another person’s character, @ them in discord! Another thing someone mentioned was the lack of follow up via messaging. While I completely understand not being able to have the concentration to reply to PMs as opposed to a group chat, this person was extremely discouraged by the fact that they’re plotting messages didn’t really go far, their messages unanswered after over a week, while seeing people plot with each other in the main chat & talk about plotting with each other via PMs. Something I’ve also seen, something I’ve also done, which I apologize for! This isn’t acceptable to me. We do all have lives, yes, but just make sure to communicate what is going on. A simple ‘I’m busy, slow, and having issues with reaching out at the moment to plot so I’ll answer this as soon as I can’ can really go a long way. I think these thread pairings with the player updates channel would be a good start in turning that around.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that there’s a lot of talk of things that are from other roleplays, other experiences, that are shared between groups of people that are often talked about in the general chat. What I mean is: I see a lot of talks of other roleplay experiences, characters not in the roleplay, that while I know you don’t mean to exclude, I don’t believe anyone in this roleplay would, it can be intimidating and come off as very clique-ish. In fact, this is where I think the perception of people thinking half of the people in this group are cliquey are from.

This was one thing that reflected in the survey that seemed to be spilt down the middle – half of the roleplay felt that the group wasn’t cliquey while the other half felt it was as well as either: hard to break into it ( minority of this half ), or it was but still friendly ( majority of this half ). While I know everyone is willing to explain these past experiences that are shared together to anyone who ask, it’s intimidating to come into a group with people who know each other who then talk about private things. I’ve indulged in this too ( I’m sorry about that! ), so I’m partially to blame for allowing this, but please watch talking about things not related specifically to this roleplay as it can make it seem as if you’re clique-ish. It’s intimidating and makes other people not want to approach and especially discouraging when a few people mentioned they felt their characters aren’t important or that their thoughts weren’t cared about. So, unless you’re willing to explain enough of what you’re talking about to other people so that they get it, then don’t talk about it as it makes people feel excluded. Inside jokes between people who know each other are going to happen, but try to remember that there are other people who might feel excluded due to you talking about those experiences in a group setting/chat. If you were in there position, watching a bunch of people talk about their character connections from other RPs, it might feel excluding as well.

To some of the people who do/might feel excluded, one thing I’ve noticed is the lack of just jumping into conversations – which is understandable. But I highly encourage you to try, engage with other people in the chat when you can, ask questions, offer things to talk about. Ask about their characters. Read up a bit in the chat if you can to see what is being said & talked about before jumping in, respond to others, engage with them the way you want to be engaged. The people who are talking with each other in the chat have put in effort & time to talk with each other, plot, they didn’t always know each other if they did, but they had to put themselves out there first & foremost. I know I have both anxiety and social anxiety so it can be hard, but we are in a group roleplay where communication is key within the group – so I do think an updates channel will be helpful so you don’t have to constantly remind or let people know but there needs to be an effort from your end as well. So, if you see a conversation, jump in!

Those are the points that I’d touch on most, and really, I know that all of this was not of any malicious intent or trying to be excluding at all, but it’s how some people have felt and some of the things I’ve noticed that I think we can really all improve on.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk and please like this when you’re done reading it! Any feedback on this survey I would appreciate off anon via DM/PM or in the group-ideas channel! Thank you!

#survey results #survey: 1 #vulneraooc #cant wait to get my phd in RP after this essay i wrote!

[samhrncir]

Fail Quickly, Learn Fast

Much of my personal and professional development came from my summers in between college years where I was a software Engineer Intern for The Home Depot in Atlanta Georgia.  I was thrown into a new culture, state, and environment.  I was all alone and had to create a way of being comfortable, happy, and successful in this unfamiliar space.  This led to the realization of a necessity of decomposition of problem.  Where I had many things to keep track of and floating in my head, there was a need to simplify everything.  Things ranging from home chores, long term plans, personal social life, continuous learning, and tasks at work.  I tried to allow myself to go on auto pilot as much as possible to reserve energy for creating custom solutions while I was on the job.  How is one able to successfully go on auto pilot and produce robust outcomes? With planning a head.  

An agile approach to everything in life: I always do things the same predetermined way.  For example, how I do my laundry.  I know every step by heart and can do it the exact way without thinking.  I can do my laundry on auto pilot.  So there is little problems encountered when doing this historical task.  With just a little energy, I can retrospectively think of how can I improve the way I completed the task for the next time, iteration?  Thus, over time I compound improvements on how I navigate independent living and working in a new and unknown place.  I used this iterative retrospective methodology to improve how I assimilate to new living and working situations.  I have seen the results from comparative improvements between the summer of ‘18 vs summer of ‘19.  The summer of ‘18 was a emotionally demanding summer due to it being the first summer I was fully on my own.  I took all the challenges faced as opportunities to learn how to do things better and improve myself for the long run.  When the summer of ‘19 came around.  I hit the ground running.   All of the bumps felt in ‘18 were hopped over immediately through how I learned from my failures and challenges.  I was able to compound on the progress of ‘18 and improve on other areas!  Ultimately the idea of agile living is a very personal one.  It requires one to be extremely self aware, critical, and constructive.  It invites an optimistic attitude towards challenge.  By embodying retrospective reflections and an iterative approach to life, one truly has no barriers.

This can then invite the idea of one’s growth curve.  Suppose there is a graph where the X axis is time and the Y axis is ones skill.  One can enter a new space and have their skill starting point significantly lower than peers.  Yet this means nothing as one needs to think about how they are standing in the long term over time.  If one fails fast and learns quickly, their skill curve’s slope will be large vs their peers who might start out with higher skill but their growth slope is shallow.  The summary of this realization is that it doesn't matter where one starts.  It matters what they are doing to improve.  The differentiating factor is not what someone’s skill is at time T.  It should be their ability to adapt and improve quickly over time.

So how does this discussion of improving over time connect to software development? We know recently, agile like qualities are being integrated into the management of teams everywhere.   This partly thanks to the ability to have quick feedback loops and ability to relatively easily modify distributed products.  Instead of focusing on the team management scope or the quality of made product, lets explore the way one personally works as a software engineer.  Unpreventable, one can encounter the flaws of: 1. Writing code that is not needed. 2. Not making the code easy to change. 3. Being too generic. How can one work in a way to avoid these common pitfalls?  With the common themes in the discussion, self awareness, humility, and “failing quickly, learning fast” can be a proactive measure in mitigating the three flaws.  For example, writing code that is not needed is usually a result of having incomplete requirements defined.  So the developer may make assumptions of needed requirements.  Usually assumed requirements are incorrect, leading to the engineered solution being over complicated and having unneeded code.  This could have been avoided with humility, where the developer speaks up quickly saying they are unsure about the requirements.  This can then have been addressed at the beginning of development when problems are cheap to solve.  An important take a way is that you will probably encounter these flaws, yet its how one recognizes the problem and reacts in the long term that matters.