#but like . what the hell is even happening rn

[jujumin-translates]

★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 1 - New Prologue

Towa: (So this is Veludo Station~. It’s smaller than I thought it’d be. The exit should be this way…)

Towa: (Umm, the map app says…)

Towa: Yeah, over there.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Towa: So this is Veludo Way…

Towa: (This is the heartland of theater, the place with the highest concentration of theaters in all of Japan… all kinds of theater companies, both large and small, are based here.)

Towa: (I’ve only ever seen it in videos, but there really is theater no matter where you look.)

Towa: (It’s amazing that theater continues all the way down the street.)

Towa: And just beyond that is where… the Holy Land…!

Towa: Calm down, calm down. Okay.

*Camera clicks*

Towa: (I’ll let the guys know…)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

momo has entered the chat.

momo: At Veludo Way rn

Iv: congratsss. haven’t seen where you are rn in a hot minute lol

shiki: That’s Veludo Way?

Kar: AI detected

momo: But it’s legit!

Kar: Kinda blurry tho

shiki: Congrats on your long-awaited pilgrimage to the Holy Land! Happy for you!

momo: Haven’t gotten to the Holy Land yet. Gotta calm down first

Iv: lol you’ve gone all that way and still haven’t done that?

momo: It’s called the Holy Land because it’s a sacred place that you can’t just wander into, so it’d be impolite to be too careless about it

Kar: What’s with the sudden essay lmao

Iv: bestie’s trying to hit the nerd count

shiki: You’ve been working hard all this time to get to the Holy Land, so you should enjoy it to the fullest.

momo: I’ll do that!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Bump*

Towa: !?

???: “--Gh.”

Towa: Huh…

Towa: (He’s crouching down? I wonder if he’s okay… is it my fault for bumping into him…?)

???: “The hell are you doing?”

Towa: (Huh? That voice, I think I’ve heard it before…)

???: “C’mon, let me give you a hand.”

Towa: …G-GOD-za’s Haruto Asuka and Shift Arakawa!?

Shift: “It’s no use~... I can’t walk~...”

Haruto: “You drank too much.”

Shift: “My life’s a mess… I can’t even take another step forward…”

Haruto: “Quit overreacting just because you two broke up!”

Towa: (Ah, could it be… this is Veludo Way’s specialty…)

Shift: “I’m not overreacting! I’m always stuck playing a supporting role. At best, I’m just here to be used. I’ll never have a starring role!”

Shift: “If I keep living like this, I’ll just be stuck as a supporting role in someone else’s life.”

Shift: “What’s even the point of living like this…?”

Haruto: “Then live your own life, not someone else’s. The reason you can’t do that is because you put others at the center as the starring role.”

Haruto: “You’re the leading role in your own life. You’re the one who gets to decide what kind of life you live.”

Shift: “I’m the starring role in my own life…”

Towa: (I can’t believe they can do theater like this without a script…)

Towa: (I’ve only ever seen videos of street acts, but they were doing it so naturally. Amazing…)

Haruto: Thank you very much~!

Towa: --.

Shift: Past GOD-za performances are streaming until tomorrow! It’s only for a limited time, so don’t miss out!

*Applause*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Towa: (It was way too lucky of me to be able to see a street act done by GOD-za’s top two here…!)

Shift: Ah, sorry for bumpin’ into ya before.

Towa: !! No! Don’t worry about it!

Shift: See ya.

Haruto: Thanks for watching us~.

*Footsteps*

Towa: Haaah~... I should’ve taken a video…

Towa: (Veludo Way really is the place to see street acts done by a whole bunch of different theater companies.)

Towa: (Maybe I’ll see them too…)

Towa: (No way, it’d be impossible to have that kind of crazy luck two times in a row, but, but, what if I really did meet my oshi…)

Towa: --.

*Paper rustling*

Towa: (It’s something that’s way too good to ever actually happen, but I’ve decided that in the unlikely event that I do meet him, I’m going to make sure I get him to autograph this.)

Towa: (My most treasured possession…)

Towa: Ah, wait, did I bring a pen to get his autograph…

Towa: (Huh, I don’t have it. Did I seriously forget it~?)

*Wind blows*

Towa: Ah--!

*Paper falls to the ground*

???: …?

[ Next Part ⇢ ]

#a3! #a3! translation #towa ichinoe #haruto asuka #shift arakawa #// i love towa so much bro is living his best life as y/n

[bas-writes]

a lot has happened lately, but so far i haven't made any official statement about my decisions and the path i want to take as a writer. it was a long road of trial and error & detailed examination of conscience in regard of my bad habits, gained experience, and goals and expectations. there are some massive changes that i need to address, followed by explanation of my decisions. i know i don't need to explain myself but i feel it's only fair to my loyal readers to share at least little insight into the context.

I. One Piece goes on indefinite vacation...

not going to lie, i was falling out of this fandom for years. it's started in 2021 when i fell victim to bullying and stalking, initiated by a widely-known (and still active, as far as i am aware of) x reader writer. it's the biggest reason for my slow withdrawal but not a sole one: pressing discourse around my comfort characters, toxic environment i fell into when looking for a relief from relentless bullying, forcing myself to write for topics and characters i didn't even like, readers overstepping my boundaries over and over again, falling into a trap of purity culture...oh, the list is long. way too long.

i still love one piece but i don't want to create for it en-masse anymore. right now it's just a wound that's far from healing, i need to treat it at my own pace. aside from an occasional poke at sapphic topics and my fav trio, i doubt it will appear in other way than commissions or gifts for friends. and some characters (kid, sanji, marco, katakuri, shanks & a few more) will never return.

II. ...but new fandoms arrive!

jujutsu kaisen is right now the main love of my life & will remain as the main fandom for long. but i found more series and characters i adore enough to feel that creative spark buzzing in my veins. soon you should see fics appearing for: demon slayer, chainsaw man, haikyuu and hell's paradise!

i'm keeping my head low rn when it comes to requests but i want to hold at least a kinktober open for them so you definitely will have an opportunity to see your faves from those series from me!

III. It's a gender neutral & afab Y/N sphere now!

it's something that was inevitably floating over me and my fics (and some of y'all definitely caught the whiff of it already), but i couldn't quite find courage to put a hard limit. we all know how it is in the y/n circles: way too many people expect from writers to cater to everyone, and treat it as a personal offense if you prefer to play in your own sandbox. as if writing y/ns was "activism", not a fandom activity like any other.

so, i won't force myself to write against myself anymore. i feel the most happy and comfortable when i make my y/ns gender neutral and when i'm giving them vaginas (and sometimes boobs) when i'm writing smut with them. i don't want to battle my weirdly-veiled dysphoria to force female reader out of myself. i don't want to stress myself while writing amab y/n, from the sheer biological fact of being unable to relate via lack of penis, to being sick and tired of the toxicity and misogyny that m!reader circles reek of.

so, gender neutral and afab it is. sometimes i will stray towards afab nonbinary or transmasc direction, if i feel like i need some good gender vibes coming from my fics.

it doesn't mean i will never write different y/ns. commissions, gifts for friends, exchanges, random ideas for a plot that requires a specific kind of y/n, sapphics feels, and such will appear here and there. i will also interact lots with f!reader fics, since it's what i see lots around & don't mind reading, if i feel more fem or if it's from a writer i like and trust.

incoming ino x reader (that i hope to publish tomorrow) will be the last non-sapphic f!reader that will appear for a long while. all requests i'm keeping in my drafts right now will be turned into completely gender neutral or from fem to more general afab reader (i don't have any requests for amab readers rn anyway). unless you really don't want to have f!reader taken out of your request - then please, let me know, i will delete it so you can head with it to a different writer.

IV. Never miss a fic again - sign for a tag list!

and now a little treat! if you don't want to miss a fic about the topic that might interest you, you may sign for a tag list by filling a simple form!

V. And what am I going to do now?

write, write, and write even more! i wanna write the in the heat of spring drabbles before the spring is gone, have three fully-fledged multichapter fics outlined and itching to be written and posted, and an interactive event with which we will welcome the summer 💦

in june i want to publish a few sapphic fics that i had in mind for a while now & later towards the second half of summer (think august-september) i'll smile at you again with a kinktober i really want to complete this year!

there might be a few smaller events on the way, depending on how busy i'll be. there's an idea for dilf enjoyers and for a chubby y/n, as well as many others that still didn't take a clear shape.

i also didn't forget about the kiss event and nonsexual acts of intimacy for the fluff enjoyers!

if you survived this wall of text (or just scrolled down here lol understandable) - thank you for your patience, understanding, and support. whether you're here with me since the very beginning or clicked the follow recently, i'm happy to have you here ❤ if you have any questions or just want to talk, my askbox is open for any kind of interaction! and if you want to support a poor writer who has way too many health-related spendings lately, you can buy me a ko-fi ❤

#bas speaks

[yanderes-galore]

Rho 'Barutamee yandere alphabet, please?

I can try, sure! I'm warning you, I have been falling out of motivation for Alphabets and Halo rn... but I hope you enjoy >:) Added some dialogue to sweeten things.

Original Concept Here

Yandere Alphabet - Rho 'Barutamee

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Manipulation, Violence/Murder, Death, Blood, Unhealthy power dynamic, Biting/Marking, Mentions of being called mate and pet, Jealousy, Sangheili/Sangheili or Human/Sangheili pairing, Imprisonment, Isolation, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Like most Sangheili I write, Rho is possessive. This is shown in his affection when he pulls you into his lap while he's in his chair. He nips your neck and holds you tightly.

Rho is laid-back compared to most Sangheili, but he will mark you as his. There's times he can be intense with you or those around you. As a leader, he knows how to intimidate.

"Sit down... I need to show them you're mine."

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Rho, like most if not all Sangheili warriors, will get messy. He likes to show he's powerful. If someone on his crew touches you, or judges his preferences...

He'll kill them.

He'll execute them in front of everyone, including you, just to show no one can touch what's his.

The blood coating his gold armor only shows what he really is deep down... a warrior possessive of his mate.

"Anyone who thinks about touching what's mine... will die by my hand, understood?"

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Rho is possessive but tries to be accommodating. Once you're on his ship he expects loyalty and submission from you. He wouldn't mock you if he doesn't have to.

He is a bit reserved and not the most affectionate, but he comes off strong when he is.

"The ship is open for you to roam... but you're forbidden from leaving."

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Not unless he feels he has to, like if you're trying to escape or defy him.

"Give me your loyalty... give me your submission."

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Rho is reserved and doesn't like showing many vulnerabilities. Even though you're his mate and he'll so anything to show that... he dislikes being so honest. It's no doubt due to his culture, too. They don't confide in one another often.

"Do not pry, dear... I do not wish to tell you such matters."

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Amused albeit irritated. He appreciates your fighting spirit but doesn't want you fighting him. So... it seems he'll have to discipline his dearest obsession.

"If only you used such a spirit in battle, dear."

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Not really and he'd be a mix between amused and irritated if you tried to escape whenever his ship docks.

"I only have so much patience... do not waste it."

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

If you're not used to it, seeing him execute another member of his crew because you happened to get along with them. He won't harm you, but another bad experience could be him locking you in a cell or marking you.

"You're mine... I'll make everyone know that."

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He plans to make you his loyal mate and second-in-command. He doesn't care how it happens. Just as long as he has you as his, he's happy.

"You can have so much power... just as long as you listen well."

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes, while he may cope at first silently... he'll lash out if others push their luck.

"Do you really wish to test me?"

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Obsessive, Manipulative, Controlling, Selfish, Possessive, and Slightly Caring in an attempt to understand his darling's needs.

"I will tend to you if you give me what I want in return, a deal?"

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

He'd either recruit you onto his crew (Sangheili) or take you as a prisoner (Human). You'd then reside on his ship, providing chat and giving him information on Forerunner artifacts. However... later on he begins to show some signs of... attachment.

"Hmm... you can be of good use to me, can't you?"

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

A bit. He's certainly more attentive towards you and affectionate.

"Am I providing for you correctly? Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything."

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Locking you on a cell on his ship and isolating you. He may even deprive you of needs, depending on how much you've pushed him. He's serious when it comes to loyalty.

"You will learn your place on this ship... like it or not."

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Not many unless he has to.

"Keep up our deal... and you'll have some freedoms. Yet you'll always be mine until the end."

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Rho is patient with his obsession, as a leader he must be. He has his limits though.

"You're lucky I like you...."

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

With time he'd move on... but it's a sore topic for him. He'd hate losing you.

"Do NOT speak of them near me, understand?"

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

No and no.

"Guilt? Nonsense... you belong to me."

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Curiosity is the most likely reason.

"You intrigue me... I wish to learn more."

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

This is more likely in a human darling, but he'd leave you be and come to check on you at times.

"Still upset, dear pet? Don't worry... you'll get used to it."

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

There isn't one I can think of, unfortunately. He has his grasp pretty tight on you.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not usually, but it can happen.

"Learn from this, won't you? I don't like doing this with you...."

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Not really a Sangheili of faith, Rho most likely wouldn't worship his darling either. However, he'd sacrifice anything to have you.

"I am not desperate enough for worship...."

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Hm... I'd say months?

"I can't stop thinking about you... what have you done to me?"

Unintentionally, maybe.

"Still quiet, are you?"

#yandere halo #yandere sangheili #yandere rho 'barutamee

[greensaplinggrace]

the curse of playing any video game on the hardest difficulty even once is that there is literally no going back to an easier one afterward

#and the curse of playing a videogame for the first time on the hardest difficulty is… well you get it #any other difficulty feels ridiculous after that #anyways this is what happened to me with dying light #i have literally never played that game on anything but nightmare and I regret everything #but also it’s fun so 🤷‍♀️ #dying light #metro 2033 #dishonored #dh1 #Altho with dh it’s more like.. even hard is too easy and I have to customize the difficulty setting to make it even harder than very hard #this is me with civ 6 deity mode rn #hell on earth btw #but it is physically impossible to go back #myramblings

[endlesslytired]

So WOW. So much. So so much. Mei ritual accidentally went overdrive.

Bonus: That scene.

#needless to say a lot happened in that stream that made my brain fry #I've been waiting for Acheron since the reveal and my god she's even more than i expected back then #was tempted by black swan and yes i will get her next time #(i say that about many characters. i have a lot of passes saved up rn but im planning on getting robin if things work out but maybe!) #i haven't included it but i did talk about how much i like aventurine. my second fav hoyo guy #unfortunately i wasn't able to process a lot of what was talked about him because of what preceded it #but i got myself together when they spoke about his boss fight and im HYPE #gallagher is also neat. he's kinda a less emo batman diluc #another male healer! #overall im hype as hell and cannot wait #honkai star rail #hsr acheron #hsr black swan

[boltgunkillerr]

i find it damn near impossible to get mad at santana’s behavior in 3x06 and 3x07 because i genuinely do think she had the right to be lashing out at everybody. sue me idk

#idgaf if she was mean to kurt and blaine when they were “trying to help” in IKAG #they were the first performance & santana was put under the spotlight by the guy who fully outed her to the ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO & now she #-was expected to be just happy and jolly about some bullshit lady music week to celebrate women as if that has anything to do with wtf just #-happened to her by finn’s hands & of course she was upset because she was only back in the new directions because finn basically #-blackmailed her into rejoining like hello!!! so of course she was snippy with them… and tbh i don’t even think she was being that mean. #i think she’d have reason to be even MEANER actually. that reaction of hers was completely reasonable. and honestly it must’ve hurt seeing #-two people who are meant to Get what it’s like.. participate in that? especially when the last thing she wants is her sexuality that she’s #-still very insecure with Being broadcasted. to the whole damn club. it’s already about to be shown to all of ohio with names addresses #-details about her whole personal life etc like she really didn’t need that spotlight right then she needed to have space and love and #-support… none of which she got. #also the glee writers tend to make a character do a bad thing and then have another character do an INFINITELY WORSE THING #and then they’re like “oh but. the first character was being so mean. this absolutely deplorable and wayyyy too far reaction is definitely #-justified now because that was just so mean of the first character ugh!” and basically spins what happened into showing the first characte #-as the most evil person alive??? as if that’s even remotely true.??? and yes this is about santana cause they do this w her #and quinn. a LOTTTT. like a LOT. rn i’m talking ab santana though so i won’t cover quinn sorry fabrayers… one day! #like yes santana was being mean sure whatever. but finn didn’t have an excuse IDGAF what the hell anybody says about the body shaming stuff #it was mean. yes that’s true. but i don’t think you understand how different those two things are #they’re both bad but the outing is infinitely more despicable and personal and filled with malice and it’s so much more endangering in a wa #-that can’t even be compared to the dangers of body shaming you know. like they’re completely different and the outing thing is just too #-personal and Wrong like. idk. just get that through ur head they’re both so different and finn went way too far and personal. he could’ve #-just mocked her looks if he really wanted to get back at her. mocked ANYTHING else. but he chose the worst thing you could do to somebody #who is scared and in the closet and hurting #also yes santana’s written to be rude a lot of the time but her degree of rudeness in those episodes was Overplayed and def not in characte #like it didn’t feel much like santana’s brand of meanness it was 100% the writers trying to justify finn more because they continued to #-paint finn as the good guy who chose the high road… when that couldn’t be further from the truth thanks. he didn’t choose the high road he #-completely blackmailed santana and used her to make him look good basically. so you can’t change my mind on that Def being a writer issue #and just them Hating Women. especially santana. thanks. #also this is all coming from somebody who loves finn. so. 🤣 #i fuckingggg hate seeing people say santana was mean and had no right to be doing all of that in those eps.. BITCH YES SHE DID #like in other eps sure (<- nuanced topic/take) but this one? No. she was justified IDGAF. should’ve been meaner

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

forever mad about how dirty they did aveline from act 2 onward

#thinking way too much abt it rn cus i just finished her quest today #she is important to liam and i enjoy their relationship a lot & also her character in general in the earlier acts #but MAN i hate what they did to her in acts 2 and 3 #laya plays dragon age #feels like there is such a disconnect from her attitude between acts 1 and 2? #or well. maybe not disconnect exactly but even so there is an important shift there and we never even get to see it OR question it #she could have been such a good contribution to the story and the themes by putting her at a crossroads of #do i keep following what i know and become another cog in the system or do i challenge them and break out of it #cus like. in act 1 she is not above going against laws when her own morals (or even just biases) go against them #but is generally still in favor of ''regular'' law and order (which does get challenged by characters sometimes which is nice!) #(sort of) blind loyalty is already a fault of hers and now her loyalty is understandably mostly towards her guards #but then her companion quest is not in fact about herself but about frickin. courting the guy she likes??????? #full on i thought this was a silly quest for levity in an act that has a lot of dark moments #but no it is Her Important Quest TM and not only does she not get with him if you dont do the quest #but her entire attitude and happiness going forward depends on it????? what the hell #also fun fact first time playing act 2 i thought that there was a lot going over my head and like #and some of it did yeah but i also just Assumed that bc the way aveline acted/ the guards actions were presented through her #didnt line up with what actually happened #(& her being so defensive and dismissive didnt line up with the impression i got of her before that) #sorry for the rant im just once again mad about cool characters being screwed over by the writing

[fourteenthz]

LOVE AND PEACE ON FUCKING PLANET EARTH

#kelly plays ykz #yakuza 0 spoilers #I'm stopping now its like 7am I prefer to believe they are going to have a dinner and plan a trip to Europe and never come back actually #IM SO OBSESSES WITH THEM IT'S MAKING ME SICK IN THE HEAD #i didn't start this game expecting anything other than brother^tm but you know what. IF #they every single one of majima's old boss can say tell this guy has feelings maybe i can too. yeah. YEAH. #OBSESSED SO BAD with chapter 16 first cutscene... he has absolutely NO hesitation in running up to her. #and the second she goes past him he immediately refuses to let her go. #ITS SO INSANE how he has been so lifeless the last chapter and accepting his fate as a pawn for the next one #to show that fucking face he makes while looking at her. ITS SO WEIRD IN A FANTASTIC WAY my man is having too many feelings he can't #she** can't even see it and it KILLS ME bc he is making the world's puppiest eyes at her IM SO AUAAGAHHAHH SLAMMING MY HEAD ON THE TABLE #I NEED THEM. TO BE. SO NORMAL RN. I NEED THEM TO HAVE SUCH NORMAL DINNER RN. #I'm stopping playing bc i'm not sure that's going to happen so enough tears for today but I JUST. REALLY NEED THEM. #TO HAVE DINNER. HOLDING HANDS. AND THAT'S IS. CAN SOMEONE HEAR ME. #she really is like my top3 favorite characters in this damn game I adore this woman to death. #feeling so majima by his sigh in realief as soon as she stopped walking away when she tripped. the way his damn face changes from pained to #'IDEA!' and imediatelly offers to take her out........................... i'm so unwell at this momento. #I thought if they met again I wouldn't be able to trust majima bc he was so set in being a damn pawn in the previous chapter but man..... #the amount of thoughts behind his eye everytime he looked at her. if they end up playing that as him bring in pain #bc he has to win her over im going to kll a guy. there's no way NO WAY U HEARD ME #thry are literally my everything. there is NO way she is going to survive this game and I'm trying sk damn hard to get #used to that idea but it just sucks i love her so much. and thw worst part i have no idea what's up with majima on the other games #is her dying being his villain storie??? his hero redemption? HELL IF I KNOW. IS SHE EVEN DYING FR?? #i truly think they could get away wih shipping her to another country. and it would make sense for majima to insist her to go. #but oh I doubt so hard they are giving me anything but pain with my favorite relationships in this game. i really do. #until then..... lying down in bed.... thoughts abt majima soft expression at her.... abt the weight her voice #carries rn.... abt the way he said 'hey' and she said 'you think I'm emotional because I'm hungry again'..... they. are. so. #the way they dont even give a choice to walk faster when she is accompanying majima. #I have such low standards at this point. if they don't at least hold hands again i will cry. #he doesn't need to guide her around anymore so... u see my vision? him asking for her hand bc he wants to... hello?

[killmymind]

i don’t think i’ve ever felt this lost in my life. tbh

#feeling sad? sure. hopeless? been there done that. anxious as hell? at least once a week. but lost? no. not really #and that’s really fucking scary because i’m not familiar with it and i just don’t know how to deal with it #i can’t stop thinking that i’m running out of time because i’m 25 and i don’t think i can afford feeling this way #taking a break from uni sounds good in theory but in reality? again. i’m 25. i need to at least achieve one thing in my life holy shit #it’s SO hard to see the good even when it’s right in front of me or someone points it out. like having a job or studying or getting to #travel or even just having friends ARE achievements but i always want More More and More i am addicted to wanting more cause it feels like #nothing i do is ever enough. and now i’m adding feeling lost because i’m finally acknowledging the fact that i don’t know what i want to do #with what i’m studying or how to get a different job in the future when i almost have no experience and everything is just so frustrating #because i simply don’t fucking know. i just don’t. i can’t afford not knowing!! everything is so messy rn you would think i’d be thriving #after seeing louis and meeting aria and traveling to germany and i am genuinely so happy those things happened but fuck man there is always #the Bigger Thing taking over and it makes me feel like an ungrateful brat i just don’t fucking know man. maybe i am an ungrateful brat #but it’s just so hard to be happy when you’re feeling so lost with everything in your life and yourself #anyway i just. needed to let that out #negative #effie talks to the moon

[ginalinettiofficial]

ok i’m actually mad abt how little continuity dndads has rn like why are we doing memory stuff if we haven’t checked to make it consistent w what we’ve already said has happened ????

and also why are they seemingly determined to character assassinate ALL of the characters from s1???? up to and including the already dead ones?????

and ALSO what is even the plot anymore i feel like the world building has been so inconsistent and loosey-goosey and like that’s okay when it isn’t relevant to the plot but in this season where it IS relevant to the plot like. what are we doing???? who can or can’t travel between dimensions???? what are the limitations????

i’m just confused and annoyed i want it to be a fun show with a story that you can follow again but lately it’s been just a mess. still fun ofc because all five of them are just fun to listen to but like. i have not been able to make any sense of what the fuck is going on for like a solid 4 episodes now and i’m just disheartened about it. it’s gone off the rails but not in a hehehaha funny fun way.

#d speaks #dndads #dndads spoilers #srry i just needed to vent like. what is happening what is happening ???? i’m so confused i don’t LIKE being constantly confused #and also i am getting so so sick of this ‘everything has to be grimdarksad no one gets a happy ending’ bs #it’s just annoying it’s pessimistic and i think there’s a line between being a comedy that deals with deep and serious issues and then just #being a bummer downer that has jokes in it. like it’s so pessimistic and none of the root issues are being solved or even fully fleshed out #and the constant indecision about the backstories of all these characters (the kiddads & the og dads) is SO frustrating #i know that there’s a degree of that to be expected just as is natural for improv #but also you’ve gotta have SOME consistency please i’m begging #i’m relistening to s1 rn and i’m in the later episodes and it’s just like. i miss when they had clear arcs #and yeah back before they character assassinated every single kiddad !!!! #also freddie and anthony specifically and their takes on glenn this episode. what the fuck was that #are you trying to tell me that everyone who said in s1 that glenn didn’t change and didn’t have any arc was RIGHT?????? #because you spent a LOT of time talking about how silly that opinion was just to now turn and around and be like yeah glenn is reverted #back to who he was in e1 !!!! like cmon. what the hell

[villainsidestep]

got sad abt fawn’s little motel room again 😞

#gideon shut the hell up challenge #we were thinking abt it in canon but then thought abt it in v3/v3au so. now we have to talk abt those #themmy who gets to be the first to get invited over. it takes a bit to build up to it and then even after they all think they’re ready #it takes another few days to actually Work Up To It. themmy gets first pick bc they’re the least intrusive of the group #the ortegas are close to the group ofc but they are nosy and pushy but this is The Becker’s space. so they get told no when they ask #if they can tag along. (they ofc get approval later after a few times of themmy getting to visit #bc 1. they won’t stop asking but 2. they’re more comfortable w the permitted intrusion that they get a test run) #honestly I feel like one of the ortegas would offhandedly ask Whose room it is (bc they expect them each to have their own) #and the siblings are like no it’s Ours. plural. and then the topic gets dropped bc they’re skittish enough already they won’t push more rn #ohhh the besties giving them little house warming gifts to help spruce the place up but next time they go over it still looks just as plain #except u ask ‘hey what happened to [xyz]?’ and they retrieve it from wherever it’s squirreled away #solo!survivor au…. imagine having to go back to the motel room alone for the first time #you know where the traces of your siblings are hidden. but they aren’t in immediate sight so it feels so Empty. #digging out all of their belongings just to have them closer to you even if it goes against everything you’ve all done this whole time #maybe you don’t stay alone. maybe you invite an ortega over. maybe you invite both. #maybe they show up with a bottle of wine each and none of you say anything bc you don’t know what you even would #maybe they help you pack up everything to move apartments. maybe you don’t let them touch anything. maybe them just being there is enough

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just #feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives #function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty #god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student #so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self #destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure #rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done #but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry #and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen #ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i #didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there #i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a #wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo. #idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues? #i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell #unrelated

[ghostprinceiii]

ah, discouraged once again from continuing Persona 5 because of how People Like Me are portrayed and treated :/

Ended up down kindof a chain of articles (like this) (and this one) that confirm how I've already been feeling —ie that the NPCs are not only actively hostile to 'me' as a character, but me as a player, as well, in many ways.

What I've seen and read of the characters and world-concept from a distanced perspective (through the lens of an audience, and not Experiencing The Story As Joker) has been cool and interesting and the music fucks, obviously, but idk, I'm just tired of this shit, today. Maybe this just Isn't The Game For Me and this is just another factor of that to add to the list, maybe it's just not the right time to be playing it and I'll do another 8 hours in another 5 months, or get super into it next week, I dunno.

Anyways. The articles give some good context for part of what I'm referring to here, and I thought they were quite well-written, so I'm linking them above if anyone's interested.^^

#kindof a messy post but we've been Doing Blogging recently so can't shut up in text form. #This is about Being A Queer Person and also Being Autistic and having nobody believe you about anything or whatever #its like 2am and I'm still pissed about this one entitled person who made fun of me on a post about my gameplay observations on #another site (about HSR) and then asked for an abridged version of the post. Jackass. Blocked. #So anyways brain not really working probably would feel less miserable after sleeping but... not happening. #Gonna refocus on new Rain World DLC announcement instead and maybe look for lists of games with canon queer protags??? #Experiencing Feelings rn but like as a third-party so who knows whats going on. #no main tags cuz even I dont know what the hell I just said I wasnt listening #ghostprince posts #delete later?

[truckstoptigers]

how many times did i limp back to the car, dragging my feet and fighting back tears because every step i took was agonizing

how many times did my father give me the tampered mountain dew - called it 'sleepytime drink' - in the backseat of his car, always waking up somewhere new and unfamiliar in some random man's bed

how many of those men threatened my life if i dared to tell anyone about what they were doing to me, be it with blackmail or weapons or bare hands

how many times was i forced in front of a camera or camcorder, told what to do and how to look and what to say or waking up to a bright flash that makes the migraine worse

how many times did i pray to god in desperation, pleading with him to save me from my father and everyone else who were abusing me only to get no reply

i'm so tired of wondering, but i can't seem to stop

#my head is hell rn :) #i have to tell somebody abt this stuff out loud soon. i feel like im losing my mind #no one but myself & and those ppl know all of what happened #i am kind of writing abt it tho. it does help & makes me feel better long enough to relax but it always comes back #milo murmurs #new normal #csa vent #trafficking vent #actuallytraumatized #even just a short break would be nice but yeah. thats not happening rn #csa tw