#this makes me look like the most basic mormon lmao

[bookish-bi-mormon]

You can take the bitch out of Provo but you can't take Provo out of the bitch 😞

#ray's ramblings #spotify wrapped #this makes me look like the most basic mormon lmao #i do listen to lots of other stuff #david is the only one listed here in my top 5 #but I thought this was funny #queerward #queerstake #tumblrstake

[transsexualhamlet]

alright it’s time for as requested part two of rowan reads the original sherlock holmes and compares it to yuumori

i finished a study in scarlet and holy shit was yuumori accurate to it

obviously they changed the case so that... well, moriarty was involved, and they didn’t go into detail on why drebber was an a-grade piece of shit (lol i wasn’t expecting the mormons but it was a great perspective actually doyle went big brain time on that one lmao) 

Hmmm i mean the other main difference is that Watson Is Gayer In The Original but yeah obviously that’s for a reason and the reason is william james moriarty

I have some highlights of “oh my god I need to see yuumori sherlock do this right now because he Absolutely Would” and they’re WILD

So yuh here are your Sherlock Moments

-when watson asks stamford why he might not want to board with sherlock bestie went “he’s a little queer” and watson was basically like “i like that in a man :)” like i am Fully Aware that’s not what queer meant back then but it’s FUNNY alright

-stamford is also like “yeah i mean he’s the kind of guy who would probably perform human experiments on his friends without telling them”

-watson walks into sherlock’s lab like hello new roommate :) and the dude immediately starts SCREAMING

-he’s all I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT LOOK and fucking stabs himself and drips the blood in a container, yeah yeah it makes a reaction and he’s like I AM GOING TO SOLVE ALL CRIMES EVER ACTUALLY wait who are you

-SHERLOCK THEN PROCEEDS TO SEAL UP THE CUT WITH P L A S T E R AND THEN HANDLE POISONOUS CHEMICALS WITH HIS BARE, INJURED HANDS

-watson moves in with this dude and is like “oh wow im really interested in this guy but im Polite so i cannot ask him anything” so he starts snooping around trying to figure out what sherlock does for a living?????? like he couldn’t just fucking ask???? and he’s like wow he has these clients and he kicks me out of the house every time they come over i Really Don’t Want To Think He’s Fucking Them

-obviously, and to watson’s embarassment, he wasn’t. sherlock is a virgin and it is very clear

-watson describes sherlock in the most homoerotic way possible i don’t even know how to describe it bestie goes on about his hands for a full paragraph it’s really gay man

-WATSON IS SO POLITE ABOUT IT ITS ACTUALLY HILARIOUS ISTG HES LIKE I AM KIND OF SERIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH THIS DUDE BUT I COULDN’T POSSIBLY JUST ASK HIM ANYTHING OR LIKE TRY TO GET CLOSER TO HIM I WILL SIMPLY WRITE LISTS ABOUT HIM AND DIAGNOSE HIM WITH AUTISM

-he’s also like “i don’t know i really think hes on drugs i would say he’s on drugs but also he’s like this all the time and he might just be mentally ill” lo and behold it was both

-SHERLOCK GOES TO BED AT TEN PM AND GETS UP AT 4 AM EVERY DAY WITHOUT FAIL

-m o t h e r f u c k e r  d o e s  n o t  k n o w  w h a t  t h e  s o l a r  s y s t e m  i s

-and when asked why he doesn’t know! he’s like my dear watson! i simply cannot be bothered! my brain is filled up with more important things! 

-watson compares him to some fictional detective that edgar allan poe made up and sherlock is like HIM OH MY GOD DO NOT COMPARE ME TO THAT MOTHERFUCKER I AM BETTER THAN THAT

-it’s honestly really cute watson apparently will sit and listen to him play the violin and like request pieces and stuff and yeah sherlock can play those fine

-but most of the time if he picks it up on his own sherlock will just start plucking it with his fucking hands while slouching in a chair and sitting like L Death Note and playing random notes that Vibe 

-watson HATES it

-watson once picks up this paper sherlock has lying around about yknow. deduction and all that and how you find things out and watson is like “this is Bullshit who wrote this what the fuck this is the most unrealistic thing i’ve ever read” and then sherlock is like I Wrote It Shawty and watson is like. um. oh haha i take back everything

-MAN I JUST GOTTA POINT OUT I AM A TEENAGE BOY AND I COULD NOT STAY SERIOUS WHEN DOYLE THOUGHT “EJACULATED” WAS A GOOD WORD TO PUT IN PLACE OF SAID

-lol he was like “ahahahhaa my deductions” and watson was like “but How Did You Do It” and he’s like “I WANT TO LOOK COOL WATSON DONT MAKE ME RUIN IT BY EXPLAINING”

-GHHHHHHHHHH BESTIES when sherlock was Infodumping to watson About Crimes watson was like “oh my god that’s so cool bestie!” like Once and watson described it like “i was complimenting him like he was a girl and i called him beautiful and he blushed” LIKE DUDE THATS GAY

-that one time sherlock yelled “THE PLOT THICKENS” and lestrade was like “i t  w a s  t h i c k  e n o u g h  a l r e a d y”

-dude thinks he’s wrong ONCE and has a mental breakdown in front of the entirety of scotland yard before like five seconds later realizing that he was not, in fact, wrong

I’d say that the main difference between him and yuumori sherlock is that og sherlock has a massive fucking ego and yuumori sherlock is very loud but has no ego at all. Og sherlock will brag about how smart he is to anyone who will fucking listen. Yuumori sherlock will only boast abt his intelligence around Moriarty because he knows they’re both mindfucking

Other than that... I honestly cannot come up with significant differences between them. You can really tell how similar they are especially with the sign of mary episode- dude was just like >:((((( the entire day because watson has a fiance and then he walks in on a dead body and goes now hERES SOME FUN

He’s very accurately and enthusiastically portrayed, as far as I can tell, and I think that’s really epic. I love him. I might kin og sherlock too guys ngl

#rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #moriarty the patriot #sherlock holmes ????? #yeah #sherlock holmes #yuukoku no moriarty

[queenlua]

You're a druid and an ex-evangelical, right? What does being a druid mean to you? How did you get from evangelicalism to where you are now? And of course feel free to ignore this if it's nosy. (sincerely, a Christian who wants to leave but who doesn't know what to do)

this is going to make me sound ignorant as hell, lol, but i'm happy to share

under a cut because this got very long, sorry, lol.

my personal progression was: "vaguely christian -> VERY christian -> christian agnostic -> agnostic/atheist -> agnostic/druid -> some sorta druid-neopagan-animist thing."  i guess i'll just go through what made me switch between each of those, and close out with some high-level thoughts that may be helpful for you?

okay, so when i was

VAGUELY CHRISTIAN,

i went to Sunday school every week because That's What You Do, and because my whole hometown was very southern Baptist, i never questioned the veracity of its teachings much... until they ran a whole weekly series on "why [x] is wrong," where [x] is some other group

e.g., we had a week on why Mormons are wrong, and i didn't bat an eye because i hadn't even known Mormons existed until that moment

then we had a week on why Muslims are wrong, and that... bothered me, because i had a friend who was Muslim, and she was just objectively a better person than me, and i was like "any universe where she goes to hell and i don't seems really fucked up"

then we had a week on why EVOLUTION was wrong, and that just absolutely threw me, because while i hadn't thought about evolution much (i think i was in fourth grade or so), it seemed common-sense? scientists thought highly of it? "adaptation over time" just seems logical?

so i went to the public library every day after school for like a week, read some Darwin and some science books, and came back to my Sunday school teacher with, like, an itemized list of objections to the whole "evolution is wrong" thing.  and he came up with some standard Answers In Genesis rebuttals, and i did more research and came back the next week with more science, and we repeated this a few times until he was like "lua, you just gotta take some things on faith"

which.  lmao.  full existential crisis time, because no matter how hard i thought, i couldn't *not* believe in the science, but i also didn't want to go to hell, so i was like "maybe if i believe SUPER HARD i will SOMEDAY be able to unbelieve the condemn-me-to-hell bits"

so i decided to become

VERY CHRISTIAN

and my frantic googling for shit like "proof of god" and "god and evolution" *eventually* broke me out of the Answers In Genesis circles of the internet, and into some decent Christian apologia, like, think First Things and various Catholic bloggers.  and there, i found some way to square my gut sense that evolution was right, with a spiritual worldview.

like, i remember finding some blogger who said:

"young earth creationists get tripped up when they try to explain stars that are millions of light-years away, and end up basically arguing that God's tricking us somehow, and—no!  my God lets you believe in the evidence of your eyes, my God does not demand that you make yourself ignorant or stupid, my God expects you to use your brain"

and i just started crying at my computer, because no one had ever said "using your brain is Good and part of God's will," i was like *finally* here's someone who won't tell me i'm going to hell for just *thinking* about things

(st. augustine does a much better riff on a similar theme, fwiw, but i only found him later)

still, it was an uneasy fit, because, the more i learned and read about world history, the more it seemed... weird... that the One And Singular Path To Salvation was... the successor to some niche desert cult... which didn't even occur at the *beginning* of written history, like, it was all predated by that whole Mithraism thing, etc... and like, sure, i could trot out all the standard theological talking points for why Actually This Makes Perfect Sense, but gut-level-wise, the aesthetics just seemed kinda dumb!  and no level of talking myself out of it made that feeling go away!

so at this point i started referring to myself as a

CHRISTIAN AGNOSTIC

i mean, not aloud.  i still lived in southernbaptistopia and i didn't want, like, my hair stylist to tell me i was a horrible person.  but in my *head* i called myself Christian agnostic and it felt right.

and i started church-hopping, which honestly was really fun, would recommend to anyone at any point.  i visited the fire-and-brimstone baptist church, the methodist church, the episcopalians, the universal unitarians, etc.

unfortunately, while this gave me *some* new perspectives, each of the places either had the same shitty theology as my old megachurch (i remember the *acute* sense of despair i felt when i was starting to jive with a methodist church... only for the dumbass youth minister to start going on about evolution), or, they just lacked any sense of the *sacred*.  like, the Church of Christ churches, with their a capella services, *definitely* had it; i felt more God there in one service than i did in a lifetime of shitty Christian rock at the megachurch.  but their beliefs were even *more* batshit, so.  big L on that one.

having failed to find a satisfactory church, i was basically

AGNOSTIC/ATHEIST

by the time i went to college, but honestly pretty unhappy about it; while it was harder than ever for me to actually *connect* with the divine, i didn't like thinking that my previous experiences of the divine were total lies.  because my shitty evangelical church, for all its faults, could not *completely* sabotage the sense of God's presence.  there were real moments in that church where i do believe i experienced something divine.  mostly mediated by one particular youth minister, who in hindsight was the only spiritual teacher in that church who didn't seem a bit rotten inside, but!  it was something!

so when i happened upon a bunch of writings on the now-defunct shii.org (that's the bit that makes me look WILDLY ignorant, lol), i was utterly captivated.

said author was a previous archdruid of the Reformed Druids of North America, an organization that was formed in the 1960s to troll the administration of Carleton College (there was a religious-service-attendance requirement; they made their own religion; their religion had whiskey and #chilltimes for its services).  however, this shii.org dude seemed to take it pretty seriously.  he was studying history of religion and blogged a lot about his studies, both academic and otherwise.  while RDNA had started out as a troll, that didn't mean they hadn't *discovered* something real in the process, he said.

this, already, was going to be innately appealing to me; i've got a soft spot for wow-we-were-doing-this-ironically-but-now-it's-kinda-real? stuff in general.

in particular, shii.org’s discussions on the separation of ritual from belief was really interesting to me: most religions/spiritualities have *both*, but like, you can do a ritual without having the Exact Right Beliefs (if there even is such a thing!), and it can still be useful to you, it can have real power.  (he had a really lovely essay, speculating on the origins of religion as just a form of art, but that essay is now lost to the sands of time, alas.)

(note that i wouldn't really recommend seeking out *recent* writing by the shii.org guy; he kinda went full tedious neoreactionary-blowhard-who-reads-a-lot-of-Spengler at some point?  sigh.)

the shii.org guy led me to checking out a bunch of books on the history of neopaganism & also books by scholars of religion in general, and the more i read, the more excited i became.  and i started doing little ritual/meditation stuff here and there.

then i was fortunate enough to attend some events with Earthspirit (this was when i lived in Boston), which cemented my hippie dalliances into something more real.  the folks there, being from Boston, were all ridiculously overeducated (a sensibility that appeals to me), but also, being the kind of folks who drive out to a mountain in the middle of nowhere for a spiritual retreat, they tolerated a full range of oddities (everyone from aging-70s-feminist-wiccans to living-on-a-farm-with-your-bros-Astaru to dude-who-started-having-weird-visions-and-is-just-trying-to-figure-out-the-deal to Nordic-spiritualist-with-two-phds-from-Scandanavian-universities-on-the-subject, etc), which gave me a lot of room to explore different types of rituals, ceremonies, "magic", etc.

(polytheism in general lends itself well to this sort of easy plurality!  i can believe other people are experiencing something real with their gods, and i can be talking to a totally different set of gods, and that’s just all very compatible, etc)

anyway, i started calling myself

AGNOSTIC/DRUID

around then, because i knew i'd found *something*, something that felt like all the realest moments i'd ever had in nature, and all the realest moments i'd ever had in that shitty megachurch, but i wasn't quite ready to put a theology to it.

but, idk, you do the thing for a while, and you start encountering some things that you may as well call gods, and you realize you're in pretty deep, and you ditch the "agnostic" bit and just throw hands and start describing yourself as

SOME SORTA DRUID-NEOPAGAN-ANIMIST THING

because that's the most precise thing you can muster.  in particular, the druid bit resonates because nature's still very much at the center of my practice; the neopagan bit resonates because i'm not especially interested in reconstructing older traditions or being faithful to any actual pre-Christian traditions, and animist resonates because what i sometimes call gods seem to be tied pretty tightly to the land itself.  it's all very experiential; all this mostly means i'm some weird chick who sometimes grabs a car and drives out someplace very lonely and hikes for a while and does some hippie shit to try and talk with the land or the god or whatever is there.  and sometimes i come back from it changed, or refocused, or what-have-you, and hopefully i'm better for it.  i'm aware this makes me look a little ridiculous, and is an unsatisfying answer, sorry!

WRT YOUR SITUATION

i don't know you or your situation, obviously, but if i wanted to give former-me some advice to save her some angst, i'd say

-> Christendom itself is far wilder and more diverse than many churches lead you to believe.  if you still want to be Christian on some level, and it's just a shitty church that's convinced you the whole project is fucked, i'd honestly explore, i dunno, your nearest Quaker meeting.  they're invoking the Holy Spirit with regularity but they're not raging douchenozzles about it.

-> if you're specifically interested in druidism, i found John Michael Greer's "A World Full of Gods" really nice.  (caveat: Greer has *also* gone full right-wing nutjob these days, sigh, so like.  would not recommend a great swath of his writing.  but that one's good)

-> deciding that a just God wouldn't give me a brain and then ask me not to use it was hugely comforting to me.  like, that was the start of the whole process, that was what made me feel ok searching for other churches and trying to find something that fit.  obviously you should take this with 800 grains of salt, because obviously i'm no longer Christian, and thus maybe i'm just some poor misguided fallen soul, but... i still kinda believe that!  maybe if you can make yourself believe that, it'll seem less scary?

idk, happy to answer more questions, sorry for the long ramble, hope it helped~

#druid stuff

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

8,19,27 🥰

8. Single worst Beatle look?

Long beard John has GOT to go. Mutton chops John looks bad but he doesn't terrify me, he's just funny. That pic of them getting ready to cross Abbey Road gives me the creeps. Also wearing all white like that is tacky af I don't care if it's John Lennon. ESPECIALLY the shoes.... we're not at the Mormon Temple here John (look up those outfits if you don't know what I mean lmao). Not posting a pic cause I hate it. If we're also talking about post-Beatkes looks I guess W-moustache is almost as bad but I think if I found a pic of Paul with it where he wasn't grimacing I'd be much less terrified already. Long beard John looks calm most of the time AND YET!

19. Was John’s activism pure narcissism or simply misguided?

I think John's activist period was a combination of his long-held wish to share his ideas on the society and politics + sow change and his deep-seated desire to "believe in something" (replacing the role transcendental meditation etc had previously held). I think the reason he started was because the concept of helping was important to him but he approached it from a very self-interested angle. Also think following LSD and heroin he suffered from terrible insecurity and low self-esteem and threw himself into some kind of cause to try and combat those feelings (I've done similar though to a much lesser extent in the past). At the same time, I think one could make an argument that with the Beatles he had been able to have an influence (whether it be by pressuring venues to desegregate or by angering thousands with a Jesus comment) so it's not crazy for him to conclude that something like the bed-ins would have a lasting effect.

So basically, I think it was a combination of the two.

27. Did quitting touring actually help the band?

In a direct sense: yes, touring put a huge strain on them physically and emotionally and had proven to be getting worse every year.

In an indirect sense: ... Basically, I think that having some kind of other activity outside recording was a good balance for them as a group, and then would have diffused tensions created in the studio. They didn't particularly enjoy making movies (although I think they did have more fun with MMT but they were clearly in over their heads with that) so I'm not sure what else, aside from touring, it could have been? Maybe after a one or two year break they could have with some smart marketing minimized the amount of mass hysteria and calmed their audiences down. Not sure exactly, but hope my overall point makes sense.

#ask #imaybeasleep #bugs

[vtmb2s]

I had this from an ask meme from like 2 months ago or so and deleted the og post, I dunno why -_-  anyway it was in my google docs so I’m reposting it

🔥

How did they first meet? What was their first impression of each other?

You know… fun Zion Canyon trip!! (credit for this one goes to Dany cause I don’t have good ideas but the whole ordeal would actually happen pre-game, because that’s when the courier would most likely sign up for a caravan I think) 

Audrey thought Follows-Chalk was just messing with her when he said who they were gonna meet, no way this guy is still alive. Needless to say she hates him, she’s heard enough horrendous things about him in her NCR days to form her opinion. He didn’t like her much either aaaghhh how can you see through my fake atonement thing where I’m basically doing the same as before. (she doesn’t really see through it initially, she’s just too stubborn to buy the whole redemption arc thing from the beginning and ends up realizing that she just happened to be right). Understanding why she doesn’t trust him but also resenting that. 

Who felt romantic feelings first?

fjjhdsjhd he does probably, vaguely. She has a much harder time accepting it considering his background and all that, so that came later.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

YEAH! Both actually, enemies to vaguely friends to lovers and all that but like I said, Audrey has a much harder time coming to terms with this, she feels a little stupid about it because she knows what this guy has done!!! ( and he knows that, hence why he’s pushing it all down in favor of his stupid little revenge thing) He’s so weird and just looks like a mummy, what is there to like objectively. But she does. What thematic parallels do to a mfer 😔

Who initiated the relationship?

She did… Canyon visit nr 2, she technically fucking hates it there but for some reason she wants to go back (well. you know why), perhaps just a little vacation. And well there was clearly something there so why act on it. The most embarrassing moment of her life but it’s worth it I suppose. 

Who said “I love you” first?

Also her… Sorry queen you have to do all the work

Who gets jealous easily?

I think him but not in a way where he’d say anything, he’s just like 😐 but you can’t see it because. bandages. And Audrey has no competition lol so. 

Who is more protective?

Also him, she gets into more stupid shit and isn’t as crazy. 

Who remembers the little things?

She does :)

Who uses the cheesier pickup lines?

God neither. They’re too weird for pickup lines. If anything Audrey would list a few bad ones she overheard on the strip as a joke.

What does a first date look like for them?

They don’t go on dates lmao. What is there to do in a canyon, they’d just go to some random place where there are no other people and talk about whatever.

What do they like to do together?

Just mundane things, doing random shit while one is talking about whatever. A lot of times it’s just Audrey chatting about something funny or weird that happened to her on her travels while she puts on one of her favorite holotapes and does something, her stories are more light-hearted after all :/

Other than that… nothing too insane, they’re too weird to have proper hobbies. Her making him read his stupid mormon bible out loud so she can hear his sexy grandpa voice 😍

Do they like PDA?

No -_- maybe hand holding when no one’s looking, if anything. 

What are their big spoon / little spoon arrangements?

God he’s probably gonna die if she tries to spoon.

Does one like the cuddle more than the other?

She does but it’s not really possible sometimes. Leans against him until he's like aha. okay that’s enough :/

Who hogs the blankets?

Audrey does. She never sleeps much when she’s travelling so when she finally does get a proper night’s rest it’s limbs thrown around. Taking the entire blanket for herself. Sleeping for 20 years.

Do either of them like to cook?

I can’t imagine either, she just does it out of necessity. She can’t cook though, it’s blamco mac and cheese every mf day.

If they get married, who proposes first?

Godddd realistically he would at least think about it but they don’t get married lol. The mental image of it makes me cringe too much.

What kind of wedding do they have?

:/

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? Does anyone object to their relationship? 

NO LMAOOOOO no one wanted them to get together and pretty much everyone would object to it if they knew. She probably doesn’t tell her family but if they knew they’d be against it, for obvious reasons. She doesn’t tell her friends either except Callisto lol, who thinks it’s epic somehow. Great Khan past and all that, not that she agrees with the legion in any way but 🤷‍♀️

Do they have any kids?

Maybe they do… maybe not. Who knows, I don’t control them.

(I made up two but Idek if they exist. a son named Ben and a daughter, Rachel. they’re weird and that’s all you need to know)

Do they have any pets?

I was gonna say no but she still has Rex who she forgot to return to the King 💔

DIANA/KING

How did they first meet? What was their first impression of each other?

In the followers' camp, not long after she moved to Freeside :) iirc the King tells a story about how he went to the Followers Camp to seek help regarding Rex and ended up yelling at them and even knocking out a few doctors.. something similar, one of his guys got their ass beat and the King got impatient and asked why tf this is taking so long. And Diana told him to sit his ass down and wait, which resulted in an argument 🙄 As for the first impression. Diana thought he was just your typical annoying man, maybe sexy and in a cooler suit than the guys on the strip, but annoying nonetheless. And the King thought she was being rude and had a big mouth. But again, kind of in a sexy way.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

THE KING… pretty quickly actually. A few months after the argument they had at the old mormon fort. For Diana on the hand it took a little bit longer :/

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Hm not really, but like I said Diana didn’t really fall that fast for him. She met him shortly after she left the Gomorrah (she was a dancer, not a prostitute but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t seen and experienced some shit) so she’s not really thinking about men and pretty much ignores him flirting with her (also he stops once he finds out about her past lol). She figures she likes him because they do have the same principles and something about being good people in a shitty world and all that so there’s a lot of admiration there, also their shared love for music and stuff. Elvis things. But she’s trying to heal from the shit she witnessed at the strip so no thanks!! Until… until...

Who initiated the relationship?

Well… technically him, he was the first one to flirt with her probably but she never really paid any attention to it. The actual relationship though.. her.

Who said “I love you” first?

Diana but I think he would have said it too… she was just faster 😌

Who gets jealous easily?

Both do. She’s sexy so nasty old men will flirt with her while she’s doing her job but the King doesn’t have to know that because he would be MAD. Diana on the hand will act like she’s mad at him when random people are being a little too friendly with him -_-

Who is more protective?

HE IS… that one text post about saying “that’s my wife” and punching someone. Yeah.

Who remembers the little things?

He does :) Little things she likes, her favorite song or stupid little things she finds funny… sigh

Who uses the cheesier pickup lines?

THE KING but unironically. Some Elvis shit, telling her she got him “all shook up” or something and she’s into it!!!

What does a first date look like for them?

He wouldn’t say this counts (she would) but technically that one time she was doing some random music thing with her freeside kids for fun and he showed up to talk to her and Diana was like. Hey wait, why don’t you stay and sing something for these kids :-) it was stupid but fun I guess and they hung out after, her saying how impressed she was because her kids were having a good time and so was she :)

What do they like to do together?

Like on the (unofficial) first date, doing random performances together. I guess he can sing (I think?? all Elvis impersonators can sing in my mind) and she’s a dancer so.. fun!! Other than that, watching random Kings member #58 perform on their little stage, going to ugly Freeside Casinos and leaving immediately after they lose 3 caps, just fun things!! Also he likes to listen to her talking about random stuff she read in her magazines. 

Do they like PDA?

Fuck yeah… Diana constantly having her legs in his lap whenever possible, him having his arm around her shoulders or on her waist all the time. Physical contact but in a cool way. 

What are their big spoon / little spoon arrangements?

They wouldn’t spoon I think but she’d sleep on his arm :) wakes up and it’s numb but that’s okay

Does one like the cuddle more than the other?

Like I said. constant physical contact (but in a cool way) but actual cuddling WOULD be a thing in private.

Who hogs the blankets?

Diana -_-

Do either of them like to cook?

l can’t imagine him being able to cook but she can. Yes I do the cooking yes I do the cleaning. 

If they get married, who proposes first?

There’s no real proposal probably, It would just come up in a conversation and they’d decide to have one of these quick Las Vegas weddings.

What kind of wedding do they have?

Again. One of these quick Las Vegas weddings… people get married by the King but who marries HIM 😔 (probably one of the other kings). It’s not much but it fits them, I don’t think huge wasteland weddings are much of a thing anyway (or weddings in general) sooo...

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? Does anyone object to their relationship? 

No one objected, except maybe annoying ass Pacer for literally no reason and some random followers :/ As for Pippa and Isabel (Diana’s besties), they didn’t meet before she started dating the king so they obviously weren’t rooting for them to get together but they wouldn’t object to it either, I think. Isabel certainly doesn’t, she likes the King and thinks they fit. Idk what Pippa thinks she’s not my oc, but I don’t think she’d object to it either.

Do they have any kids?

NO lmao. No biological ones at least, Diana has her Freeside orphans though that she takes care of (kinda), they’re basically her kids. She even refers to them as such :-)

Do they have any pets?

Heh… Rex :-)

GEORGIE/C*RVO

How did they first meet? What was their first impression of each other?

In the distillery district 😳 On the first mission, Georgie prob caught him sneaking around her clinic (by accident) and was like. WTF get out with your creepy mask… wait ACTUALLY since you’re good at sneaking can you get me [random thing for her medical research that she has tried to get her hands on for ages] and i can give you a discount on health potions and free leeches 😏 NPC behavior… 

Georgie thought the mask looked fucked up and he seemed mysterious but well. She meets strange people every day so 🤷‍♀️ Also she thinks it’s kind of sexy. He thought she was a bit strange, but ig he liked her. She’s funny. 

Who felt romantic feelings first?

GEORGIE. relatively quickly actually, she really likes him early on but she doesn’t really say anything with Jess’ death being so recent :/ He does… later on, about two or three years after dh1, probably when she’s on official business in dunwall tower (YES underqualified royal physician Georgie is a thing now 💕) and she remarks a random cut he has on his cheek & turns his face to get a closer look and he’s like 😳😳😳😳 why do I like that she just did that. Love Wins.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Her kind of, again with the whole Jessamine thing because it was so recent and she’s like aaagh i'm not gonna hit on a guy in mourning so she tries to ignore it 😐 

Who initiated the relationship?

GOD technically Georgie, she didn’t say anything of course because she’s too weird but she does kiss him first... and makes him leave right after :/

Who said “I love you” first?

He does… Georgie would NEVER say it first and doesn’t say it right back immediately but. He knows she’s weird about things so it’s okay.

Who gets jealous easily?

Her. That is a thing. 

Who is more protective?

Both :-) 

Who remembers the little things?

Also both but mostly him. Remembering the weird little things she offhandedly mentioned she likes. Or her little plague research things. 

Who uses the cheesier pickup lines?

Both but they’d just whisper them to each other for funsies when they’re somewhere. In public.

What does a first date look like for them?

They wouldn’t have a proper official first date but it’d likely be some random event they’d both be at when she’s the royal physician (I don’t think she’d get invited to anything but well. Maybe the Boyles run out of crazy things to do at their parties and invite her) Or taking a walk at Dunwall’s somewhat nicer-looking docks. Something boring. 

What do they like to do together?

Also boring things. They’re old, nothing too crazy. Chatting about random stuff whenever she’s over at Dunwall tower, taking walks in the gardens together and watching ships or something, talking shit about aristocrats that they find annoying or just about weird hobbies, maybe she can bring him along to meet her friends (who he already knows) to look at rats in alleyways but he eats them idk. Summons a whole swarm of rats but they end up trying to kill them 

Do they like PDA?

NO. I don’t think she’d be too much into the whole ~aristocrat life~ after becoming the royal physician and just does business-related things but neither would want people talking about this. Semi-secret relationship for no reason and they’re both more private sooo

What are their big spoon / little spoon arrangements?

She’s the little spoon.. likes being held :)

Who hogs the blankets?

He does -_-

Do either of them like to cook?

No lol

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? Does anyone object to their relationship? 

I think the only person really knowing of this is Marzanna (AGAIN. by dany… Georgie is also besties with Slackjaw… the Rat Smackers. but she wouldn’t tell him about this lol), who would probably not object to it?? but I don’t think anyone else would be rooting for them. I guess Emily likes her as her cool doctor but NO WAY that’s gonna be her stepmom :/

Do they have any kids?

No :/

Do they have any pets?

Georgie has a cat. Not together though, Pluto is hers.

#hee hee

[mercuryislove]

65 and 79 for Anwei, Yixing, and Ciaran please 😊

i am sorry in advance if none of this makes sense because i am very very very tired to the point that i'm basically delirious. i have transcended exhaustion and entered the third wind of complete insanity lmao

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

IT DEPENDS lol. It would be a “how long do they have left to live situation” kind of situation I think. Like Ciaran and Anwei have both lived uhhh 900 or so years and have done basically everything there is to do a thousand times over, so if they were suddenly made mortal again I doubt they would do much different except be like WTF when they got hurt and it didn't instantly repair itself.

If it was more like a “you have one month left to live” situation, Ciaran would go on a fucking bender, burn every bridge, mend previously bridges to immediately burn them again, and like thirty minutes before he dies tell everyone he loves that he's sorry about it all. Meanwhile, Anwei would just DISAPPEAR. She'd leave a letter on her desk or bed or whatever where people would look for her first and just fucking ghost everyone. (and the letter would say something super vague and answer NO questions about where she went or why.) She would at least have the decency to tell Ciaran what she was doing, but everyone else would be on their own. Yixing in the same situation would do several things. First, he would set aside a full day for each person he truly cares about (so like. three or four days lmao) to spend with them and get his last pleasant moments with them. Second, he would find someone to take care of his horse after he's dead. Third, he would get LAID. like a lot. Truly he would fuck anyone that would take him. Fourth, he would give all his money away to people in need. Fifth and finally, he would spent the rest of that last month drowning himself in alcohol. Honestly that would probably be what kills him instead of the timer reaching zero.

NOW. If this was a “you have one hour to live” situation, Anwei would still disappear asap, Ciaran would probably burn a bridge or two for the hell of it, and Yixing would skip all the steps of his plan and just get someone to take care of his horse.

SPOILER ALERT, when Yixing does Actually Die (and yes he does DIE in the book lol) and he is actively bleeding out in the fucking dirt and he makes the connection that oh wait I'm not gonna make it out of this one huh guys, his first idiot thought is like “oh shit where is Songbird? I hope she's okay” like. get your priorities in line. She is his Top Priority in ANY death plan lol

--

79. What do they do when they learn about other people's fears?

This one is kind of tough!! I mean. None of them would be like “oh you're afraid of spiders? Okay I am going to put a thousand spiders in your bed tonight” because that's mean and weird. And they're all mean and weird in their own ways but not like that.

Yixing would try to empathize but internally be like “wtf this person is afraid of [insert common fears here]?? cringe.” He isn't afraid of much, and especially not of existential things like death or being forgotten or whatever, but he is very good at understanding because he also has some really strange irrational fears.

In true deceptive form, Anwei and Ciaran both would tuck away that piece of information to use at a later date if necessary. Anwei has some silly irrational fears and ones that are actually like. rational, so she does have the decency to understand what another person means when they say they're afraid of heights or of spiders or whatever (for the record, she is afraid of being stranded in open water (bc if you can't fucking die and you get snagged on something and sink to the bottom????? bad.) and also of scorpions lol). Ciaran, on the other hand, is afraid of virtually nothing and thinks it's kind of stupid for people to be afraid of things because existential shit simply does not matter and realistic shit can not hurt him. “Oh you want to light me on fire and push me into a canyon joshua graham style??? nice try but I am not mormon and I will just walk that shit off.” Or like “oh you worry about being forgotten or not being good enough? Well I've lived long enough to see the most important names in the world wiped from history and also nobody is ever good enough for everybody so...... get over it.” HOWEVER. He is super afraid of not being loved for the person he really is LMAOOOOOOO so does he have any room to talk?

#oc talk #okay i LOVE the what would they do if they knew they were going to die bc it is open to several interpretations #also yixing really has his priorities in order lmao #horse first. getting laid second. getting absolutely zooted third. i respect that

[atimefordragons]

10 Signs That You’re in a Clara Novel/Project/Writing Collab/Rp/~Thing~

tagged by @ayzrules thanks for the tag! I love tag games and talking about myself XD 

1. DRAGON MOTIFS - [svea, Vera, deevi, shiera, rhaella, ilyana, aurora, literally all of them] lmao, every character and thing ever of mine. I always loved dragons, but the obsession really just clicked in my soul when I watched emilia clarke emerge unharmed from fire with three new dragon hatchlings. after that it was forget whatever witchy and murder shit I was obsessed with as a gothic and macab tween, dragons only now and forever. the dragons can be either literal or figurative, but they are always there. The Dragon does not fear bby. 

2. FIRE & ICE DICHOTOMY - [vera, shiera, raya, svea, zlata] almost always in one person, this kind of happened by accident, I’ve always loved winter and the cold, so naturally, all my characters and worlds end up like that too, but I am also hot headed, and the obsession with dragons results in my winter princesses/queens/etc having a fire dragon while also being ruler of the snow and ice. Sometimes more metaphorically with WRC/FTC Vera, who was ruler of the coldest nation on earth and also had a bunch of nukes and wars, but also ITU Vera, again, ruler of the coldest nation in the realms, but her nuke was a literally dragon this time, she also supernaturally caused a volcanic eruption (spoilers). 

3. HATING ON/JUDGING AMERICA - [all characters] this is intrinsic to my personality. I hate America and so do all my characters. even characters that exist in realities without america, they still hate it. I will not elaborate. 

4. RUSSIANS - [ilyana, zhenya, nika, katya, marena, zlata, vika, vitya, dima, kolya, raya, vova, etc] honestly, I don’t know where my russian obsession started, predates eurovision, post-dragon, but not by much, like, I just woke up one day and decided 80% of my characters are gonna be russian from now on. They tend to be oligarchs, FSB/KGB, bratva is a newer trend for moi. I dunno, but I, a person who has never been to Russia and is not remotely Russian in any way, got brainrot for Russia and Russian history, hmu with them imperial, communist, and modern facts. See you all at Blue Light next year. 

5. BOURGEOISIE -  [99.9% of all my characters] moi: fucking hates capitalism and finds a way to blame everything on capitalism, also me: makes 99.9% of my characters ungodly wealthy. it’s about the financial security and desire for things. probably. idk, but tis my thing, probably one of my oldest things, always loved royalty and nobility, I tend to make vieux riche as opposed to nouveau riche characters, defunct titles, lost glory and all that.

6. THINLY VEILED REFERENCES TO PPL - [lol, not gonna out myself] this isn’t always a negative, this is something that started in like middle school when I would name characters after my friends and just base their personalities on them without having to think, as I got older, this shifted into being references to other characters, like I’ve made an Oikawa and an Ushijima, etc, and still do that, but on the flipside, also use this to create characters based on people I detest and vicariously act out vengeance. 

7. SASS MASTER MEDIEVAL FEMINIST - [élodie i] there were others, but I like to think I’ve grown past this a little, like, don’t get me wrong, I still got my medieval snarky ass ladies who are all for the girl power, but that exact level of my writing at the time was pretty white feminist, and I’m woc, so pathetic me. hopefully, you can find more dynamic and evolved versions of this trope in my writing now, but whatever. I write for me and my friends to enjoy, my bad writing is your problem guys. 

8. DESTRUCTION OF A RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION - [into the unknown, for the crown, serve or burn] this isn’t as common as the other things, but in a setting where I have full control of the world, there’s always something like this, either it is christianity, or is a thinly veiled reference to it. Look, while I do technically agree that there’s no such thing as an “evil religion”, there is nothing more evil than the christain organization, usually I mean catholism, but the evangelicals and mormons are weird and fucked up cults too. Anyway, imma die bitter about all the damage christanity has done to the world, so in my worlds, it gets burned to the ground. I am not sorry.   

9. MALE LOVER BOYS ARE JUST A MANIESTFATION OF JOHN MULANEY’S “MY WIFE IS A BITCH AND I LIKE HER SO MUCH” - [nika, lucas, ademir, vorian, kolya, etc ] listen, the only type of male lover I want are those who are deeply devoted to the subject of their affections, no “I lie to protect you” bullshit, they’re pretty, usually buff, but not necessarily, that’s just a common aesthetical attraction choice of mine, and they have like skills and talent I guess, but most of the time they stand behind their wife while she does whatever is plot relevant and hold her hand when she’s sad. 

10. A WORLD THAT’S TOO BIG AND TAKES TO LONG TO DEVELOP - [see; into the unknown] listen, listen, I know this is like, a problem with me, okay? I make the world too big and get buried in all the plots and the calendars and the timelines and the history and it’s all an exhausting mess that I never quite finish. but, whatever. I can’t have a basic ass world with no detail, I hate that shit, I’d rather take forever building the world, than the world being empty. 

tagging: @celestialfairies @kzombi3 / @thots4daze @themonsterslut @turquoisesiren @heartless241 @alittlebitluna @eternalsailorstar @themadmonarchist @forebodinq + anyone else who wants to do this

#tag games #mine

[coelakanths]

I'm so curious— my mom almost converted us to mormonism back when I was in elementary school because of her really nice coworker... If you would like to tell me things I will listen.

of course!

fair warning that this is my personal experience with mormonism and people are different in every ward! also this is all over the place and long bc im angry and very VERY glad that you didnt join lmao

i was born into mormonism- my parents grew up in it and both went on missions and were overall two very religious people. im not being hyperbolic or exaggerating when i say that mormonism is a cult. there are plenty of red flags from everything to controlling the inner parts of your life (the word of wisdom and modesty laws- more on those later) to making you pay to get into heaven (tithing).

i dont know too much about other religions/sects of christianity but im pretty sure that tithing, while it is a thing elsewhere, isnt as heavily enforced as it is in mormonism. the basic premise that they explained to me was that god gave you everything, so you can afford to give a little back (which is! super guilt trippy!!) and therefore you need to give ten percent of all the money you get to the church. they often say this goes to helping the homeless/building temples, and although it does, they also use it on giant malls and have about 2 billion in the bank. 

you need to be a full tithe payer if you want a temple reccomend and you need a temple reccomend to get married in the temple and you need to get married in the temple (a good cishet marriage, mind you) to get into what mormons think is the highest part of heaven, the celestial kingdom.

there is a lot i could go into from here. a LOT. but i think one of the biggest and most disgusting things to me is the rampant racism in it. 

there are many scriptures demonizing dark skin. i will let these speak for themselves. when we went over one such scripture during family home evening (an event happening on sundays or mondays most frequently to read scriptures as a family) my grandparents brushed it off by saying “..but thats obviously just a metaphor.” the racism is never mentioned. nobody ever acknowledges it, or the fact that black people were first allowed in the temple in the 1960s DUE TO SOCIAL PRESSURE. cannot make this shit up.

lets go onto sexism shall we! 

modesty is a big thing in mormonism. young girls are taught (i was taught) that you need to cover up because boys cannot control themselves and need to keep their bodies pure so they can hold the priesthood. we were literally taught at ages as young as 8 that boys could not stop themselves from looking at our bodies. 

some things that girls arent allowed to wear include: things without sleeves, things that show your midriff, and shorts that go above your knee (this one isnt enforced too much but is still a source of guilt). for eight year olds. 

also! women are not allowed to hold the priesthood. priesthood is an essential part of mormonism. also also!! young women (12-18) meet together every wednesday for activities, same goes for young men. young men are taught life skills and camping tips, older boys go on things called high adventures where they get to go somewhere as a group and do a bunch of cool shit. young women sit inside and make crafts and are told about how to be good wives.

for lgbt issues, literally just look up elder oakes. i hate him with a passion. he deserves to rot. hes also extremely abelist and minimizes problems because “your body will be perfect in heaven.” 

i could also get into how missionaries often prey on people in bad situations (recovering from addiction, after the lost of a loved one, etc) because theyre vulnerable and looking for safety and closure that they cannot get but thats a topic for another day. 

and in less serious matters, the word of wisdom sucks. you cant have coffee or tea (even uncaffeinated tea is frowned upon, including most sodas. i have had coca cola once in my life and it was at a nevermo’s birthday party. felt guilty for weeks.) or alcohol. you also cant swear, get married if youre gay, be transgender, or break gender norms without being ostracized.

also! when youre eight you get locked in a room with a usually 40+ man who asks you questions about your sexuality, including invasive questions such as “have you been raped” and, if so, “did you enjoy it?” eight year olds. a man who spoke out against these questions was excommunicated.

so! tl;dr mormonism is much worse than people think it is and i am literally traumatized from growing up with this shit. it is sexist, racist, and extremely homophobic. run by old white pieces of shit. i hate it and you should too!

#this is a lot aldjsldjsl #long post #exmo #exmormon #apostate #this doesnt even cover it all #asks

[icarus-suraki]

unusual asks: 4, 14, 37, 79

4. do you like your name? why? Ah ha ha ha, so I'm not going to tell my real name, but I'll say that my first, middle, and (probably obviously) last name are all family names. My first name isn't so bad, except that my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and a number of other relatives all have the same first name. It's really a family name on my mother's side. It's not a bad name, but it doesn't feel like my name because I've been called by my middle name all my life. With so many people with the same first name, it makes sense, right?

My middle name is...different. I mean, I'm a woman (though I'm a bit sloshy on that sometimes) but my middle name is a really old, slightly ugly-sounding name that's usually given to boys. It's a family name, formerly a surname--and since my family is undeniably Southern, we follow the good tradition of giving daughters family surnames that were "lost" in marriages. And that's how I, a girl, ended up going by a name that's basically on par with Cuthbert or Aethelrad or Gruffudd. It did not make my school-years easy, no.

And my last name is a strange spelling of a Dutch name--if it were English, it might be something like the surname "James" being spelled like "Jaymesse." We aren't quite sure how it came to us since we can only trace it back to one person. We know when and who he married, but we have no information about him before or after that. We know he was out of the picture when his wife was pregnant (whether he died or ran off or was kidnapped or something we don't know). His wife, at a loss as for what to do, went to her sister's house and lived with her sister and her sister's husband for a while. And then she named the baby after her sister's husband??? But with her own (now our) last name???? She was an interesting woman. But we just don't know much about the man who gave us our last name. There's some family conjecture that he might have been an Eastern European Jew and, when that came out, that was totally unacceptable to his wife and her family. So either she left him or he left her. Either way, we've still got the name. And now, whenever one of us with the name goes to Europe, we like to confuse the locals. (I think I got more of the British Isles genes, but my brother definitely got the Dutch genes because he looks like a damn Tour de France cyclist.)

Do I like my name? It's not the easiest to live with, but it's got a colorful past. So I don't always like it, but it's interesting, to say the least.

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? This is so hard to answer because it changes based on my mood and the season. Sometimes I'm like "I want to live somewhere tropical and warm in a house that almost doesn't need windows with long sheer curtains where I can be a hippie doing yoga and eating smoothie bowls up in the trees." And other times I'm like "Wouldn't it be interesting to live in Japan? Maybe Tokyo, but more like Kyoto and out in the suburbs. Or maybe out in the country, like a real Studio Ghibli place." France crosses my mind too, sometimes Paris, sometimes Provence, sometimes Normandy...

But I think, and this is probably pretty predictable, that the most aesthetically-comfortable place, to me, would probably be the Lake District in the UK.

Is the UK all that great in ever sense? No, for many reasons (Brexit is only one of them). But in terms of weather, wildlife, scenery, familiarity from children's picture books, I think it's got to be the Lake District (and environs).

It was one of the last places we visited when I did a summer abroad. We'd done London (exciting but such a city), we'd done Scotland (rather craggy and gray), we'd done Bath (I was sick as a dog so I can't make much of a judgement and would like to go back), we'd done Oxford (and I thought I was a snob, fuck me), we'd done Yorkshire (suddenly the grimness of the Bronte sisters makes sense)... And then we took this long bus ride northwards and up into the Lake District and it was such a...relief in a funny sense of the word. Trees! Fields! Foxgloves! Stiles over fences! Walking paths! Lovely cottages!

If I was appallingly rich, I'd find an old cottage to move into and live there and grow a cottage garden and probably have a Patterdale terrier named Toby or Tommy and take lots of walks.

The Cotswolds were a close second, as I recall, but not quite as much of a spiritual(?) relief.

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? The greatest irony of being a librarian is that everyone thinks you read all the time but you often don't have enough time to read at all.

Some librarians manage to pull it off, but I don't. I've gotten picky about books as I've gotten older. I had to lead some book discussions at my libraries, so I've had to read some very boring books (in some cases the book was boring but I did understand why books like it would appeal to some people). And I just don't have the mental capacity to suffer through boring books if I don't have to. So, no, I don't read all that much--

--in terms of books, at least. I've found that I'll read zillions of articles: longform, shortform, magazine, newspaper, online... I've got a few websites for sources and I'll just kind of look around and then suddenly say, "Wait, what?" and find myself reading, say, a GQ article about two Mormon brothers accused of murdering their parents and the whole backstory of the situation. If you drop a longform article about Weird Shit in front of me, yeah, I'll probably read it.

Which actually makes me wonder if I might want to read more nonfiction at the moment. Hmmm........

But favorite book? Favorite favorite book? Fuck, I'm such a sucker for Ulysses. I know, everyone's like "it's dirty!" or "it's too hard to understand!" And that's cool. But for me, it reads rather like poetry to me, dirty bits and all. And I love it and it has saved my life a few times. James Joyce got me through my 20s, okay?

I had hoped to go to Ireland, and Dublin specifically, in the summer or fall of 2020. Obviously that didn't happen, lmao. But part of my idea was to research tattoo shops before I went and to get a line from the "Ithaca" chapter tattooed on me somewhere. The line is:

"The heaventree of stars hung with humid nightblue fruit"

It's got to be one of my favorite lines in all of literature. T. S. Eliot has a couple of lines that are close seconds (it's almost time to read Ash Wednesday again and, hnnnngh, it's so good), but between the Eliot lines and the Joyce lines? Yeah, I'm going with the heaventree of stars.

I am a terrible person with a dirty mind. What can you do?

79. do you believe in ghosts? Most of the time I'm like: "Nah, I don't really believe in ghosts. It’d be kind of cool if they were real, right? But, nah, l don’t."

And then I'll watch some really good “real” ghost videos and it'll be about 11:30 at night and I'm immediately "I have changed my stance re: ghosts and I will be sleeping with the light on. Goodnight."

But generally speaking? As someone who has spent the night in a couple of supposedly haunted places? I guess I'm more in the "I want to believe" category. It'd be cool, wouldn't it? But I don't think it'll happen.

Now that said, I do still wonder about the Gray Man With The Hat that my mother and I have both seen on different occasions. It has to be something about how human brains understand certain things in certain situations (esp. related to light/shadow). We both wonder if it might be kind of like a "collective unconscious" situation, where something unfamiliar is interpreted as something familiar and then the brain puts that familiar "icon" (which is Pete Lorre in M, evidently?) over whatever the image the brain can't compute.

It's not directly related to ghosts in the typical sense, but I do have strong feelings about certain Jungian concepts (I have an aunt who's got some major Jungian background)--sometimes in a mystical way, sometimes in a more rational way. So I guess that's why I feel like I, personally, don't believe in ghosts as ghosts are generally viewed today. But I also think that people who say they've encountered ghosts shouldn't be dismissed immediately as wrong--they experienced something, I absolutely believe that, and it’s not fair or kind to dismiss them out of hand.

#noises from issy #long post #ask me stuff #askbox games #meme

[awayintheend]

sometimes i remember all the bullshit i’ve been through and its like...it makes me think if some higher force of power looked at me and said “fuck this human being in particular”

-literally the only person in my family (and even life) that i was ever comfortable with and felt safe and protected and loved around? LOL lets give that person cancer and have them die and leave sommer all alone

-me when i was a six year old girl? LETS GIVE HER DIABETES and basically doom her to a difficult and unhealthy life for the rest of her life, wont be surprised if she dies in her 30s

-my father? HAHA HES AN ASS, an abusive ass that never gave a fuck about his daughter he left when she was 6 for some other random “replacement” family because his biological family isint good enough for him lololol

-my brothers? have a somewhat normal relationship with them when we’re kids, despite the fact that i was constantly berated and made fun of daily from them for literally everything i said or for my interests, which really did a number on my self esteem, but you know what? IT’LL GET EVEN WORSE WHEN THEY’RE ALL ADULTS! lets have them physically and emotionally abuse their sister and steal literal thousands of dollars from her because they took advantage of her kindness and generosity, and what do they do as a thank you? PHYSICALLY ATTACK HER LMAO

-my aunts and uncles? DONT EVEN LOOK AT SOMMER AS A PERSON, act like she doesnt exist, tell her they’re glad shes poor and they dont give a FUCK about her!!!! GOOD MORMON/CHRISTIAN PEOPLE RIGHT!!!

but yeah.

i hate that im like this. i have so much hate now in my heart and my soul ever since i lost my mom, im so bitter about the world and about life and people, i cant look at anything normal again the way i used to.

out of everyone in my family the literal only one i trusted and loved is the one that went through the most pain and is gone now and will be forever.

even though my dads finally dead now, my only regret is that he outlived my mom.

why couldnt it have been one of these others reprobates in my life?

hell, why couldnt it have been me even?

at least i would’ve died knowing that someone loved me...

#this is all jumbled i know but bottom line is i hope all my relatives die a painful death'

[hi-im-bunny]

I was tagged by the lovely @alicexhightopp HERE WE GO!! Appearance: ✨5'5" ✨got dirty blonde hair with highlights and rose gold ends currently ✨ naturally dirty blonde ✨ WHITER THAN A NAPKIN ✨ green eyes ✨ freckles and acne ✨ i often wear pretty basic glasses and light make up ✨ my hair is freaking long i'm almost able to sit on it ( i gotta get a hair cut ) ✨ not the skinniest person in the world but i'm happy with my body, i'm average sized ✨ often seen looking like a hot topic employee Personality: ✨ I'm a Gryffindor so there's that ✨ i'm EXTREMELY SHY when meeting new people ✨ when around friends i'm one of the goofiest goobers ✨ i'm a freaking optimist most of the time ✨ i try to act like a grump sometimes but i'm just too darn happy when i'm around my friends ✨ don't go out too much but when i do leave my cave of a bedroom i'm either at school or at my dance studio Abilities: ✨ I can eat an entire pizza by myself ✨ i'm a dancer, currently on my 13th year of dance ✨ pretty good soccer player ✨ i can draw things halfway decently ✨ I can remember my preschool years but ask me about what we talked about in class the other day imma draw a blank ✨ I can give a pretty creepy ass death glare that scares all my friends ✨ I can put my leg behind my head Hobbies: ✨ Drawing ✨ Dancing around my room ✨Listening to music ✨ Collecting pop figures ✨ Shopping for random ass clothes and even more pop figures ✨ Full time fangirl in many fandoms Experiences: ✨ Had my first kiss at 14 ✨ Went to Disneyland in 2016 and met a whole bunch of characters ✨ Had the Mad Hatter tell me he likes me more than Alice during a game of musical chairs and claimed i'm the "new alice" since i'm blonde and was wearing blue that day ✨ once scored a goal from the halfway line on the soccer field during a game which ended up making us win and go to the finals ✨ Flew to Chicago and saw Hamilton ✨ Saw Book of Mormon and Lion King when the musicals came to my city ✨ Visited South Africa to see my dads side of the family and surfed Relationships: ✨ Currently single cause my boyfriend was a manipulative ass ✨ Lowkey dating a ton of fictional characters ✨ I have many friends from both dance and school (and some on here, yay) ✨ I love food (idek what i'm doing anymore lmao) My Life: ✨ I live in the hell hole known as Texas ✨ Currently learning how to drive so i can get my license soon ✨ Went to the hospital several times when i was little for stitches cause i was an accident prone little shit ✨ Broken my wrist and L4 in my back before ✨ I've been dancing for 13 years ✨ Currently a junior in high school ✨ About to help my brother move into college for his very first year Random shit: ✨Have two adorable doggos who i love so much ✨ Used to have three doggos but sadly had to have one put down in 2013, i was devastated ✨ My dad is from South Africa ✨ Got an iphone, laptop, mac book, apple watch, got a tv in my room ✨ I'm a spoiled ass brat 😂 ✨ I once ate half a cake in one day, it was my birthday DONT JUDGE ME 😂 ✨ My friend and i call eachother Tin Man and Scarecrow, and Mrs Potts and Lumiere (we played these characters in dance productions) Idk who i should tag so if you follow me and you see this go ahead and do it if you want and say i told yah to or something, or don't that's fine you can make your own choices imma stop talking now BYE ❤️

[nightcoremoon]

in high school I bought the complete box sets of both death note and vampire knight manga because I was a certified C-tier weeb, and, uh, yeah, i fuckin loved both of them. so sue me. I actually had a system with a girl I had algebra with where she would borrow my mangaka and when she was finished I would give her the next one and she'd give back the last one. we had maybe one full conversations' worth of words exchanged over the course of several months (granted, her native tongue was cantonese or mandarin, I don't remember which, since she was an exchange student from china, and she didn't use as much english that year as she did as she continued to go to school where I did). she introduced me to lucky star & angel beats & stuff. in hindsight I liked her mostly because she was one of the few people who was nice or at least civil to me, but I had it in my head at the time that I had a crush on her which looking back I feel like I might have been fetishizing her due to her ethnicity but that certainly faded in a few years time when she was friends with my best friends? idk man vampire knight was really important to my high school early development probably more than I gave it credit before even thinking of it again today. guess that's score more for my status as "giant fucking weeb".

admittedly death note is legitimately great. the only people who ever talked shit about it were misogynist reddit scuzzlords who didn't like the fact that the non-shoujo anime had a lot of fans who were teenage girls, and weebs in denial who went back and said they loved it once they passed their hipster phase. i offered to have my mom and sister read it, and they did- eventually (they forced me to read twilight and I used that as a bargaining chip :P ). they liked it so much that they stopped outright hating anime. in fact mom started dating a weeb eventually and now she likes cowboy bebop. lmao, you're welcome! anyway. the anime was great. one of the best ever created. it's a shame they never released any american movies :)

so now is the less pretty part

...

the vampire knight anime is really, really, like... HOLY SHIT THIS IS REALLY GODDAMN RAPEY.

like yeah I get that when you involve vampires in your fiction there's a very strong potential for drawing comparisons between forcibly drinking blood and sexual assault, that isn't necessarily intended or warranted. just because a vampire protagonist drinks someone's blood doesn't mean that the series is justifying sexual assault. edward drank bella's blood and it was fine (if we ignore the weird mormon bullshit justifying the rest of his creepy behavior). in fact, even villains can forcibly drink blood without being an allegory for rape- the people who like dio brando as a character are not rape fetishists. I'm not trying to write a whole virtue-signaling manifesto decrying vampirism in fictional media because that's fucking dumb as hell. vampire fiction is valid.

however:

Aido is a slimeball to end all slimeballs. So like. The dude straight up restrains Yuki and- in the wake of her crying out for him to stop, he licks and bites her and whispers into her ear that she tastes good and he wants to drink her blood, and is only stopped when Kaname steps in and what happens? he gets suspended. a slap on the wrist. and he continually flirts with her and touches her and restrains her and threatens her and talks about drinking her blood, and there are Z E R O CONSEQUENCES. no pun intended. and he's easily the most likable character. he's the secondary comic relief (headmaster being the primary). he's the prettiest. he's smart and funny and popular and basically tamaki suoh (which is ironic because tamaki and zero share a voice actor but whatever). why. why the fuck did the writers make the creepiest slimeball in anime super likable? he's dangerous and yet he's endearing??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS oh wait yeah that's right I forgot, japanese animation is just like that sometimes :/

if aido wasn't a vampire he'd be considered a rapist. why is it not as bad if he's trying to drink someone's blood? I'm pretty sure that having your bodily fluids drank straight from your body without your permission, being licked & bitten & forcibly restrained, that's on par with being sexually assaulted. because uh. last time that i checked, licking and biting can 100% be a form of sexual assault. ok I lied I haven't checked but I'm pretty sure it counts. I'm fairly certain that a person attacked by a vampire and a person raped would both be traumatic in many similar ways. not to disparage rape victims in this hypothetical situation where vampires were real. god why does tumblr spawn the weirdest sentences. anyway I feel I've adequately made my point.

not even gonna touch on all the Level Es, Zero, Kaname, and anything else cropping up over the course of the rest of the series. Aido alone and the way the show handles him is... chilling, to say the least.

[harr-will-blog]

The best DMC I've ever had.

A Staff member on my Minecraft Server, Iris (pylonsbro), connects with Minechat. A 60MIN+ Conversation Ensues.

Harrison: Hi

Iris: Hey, just seeing how things are going ~

Harrison: Thanks for that ~

Iris: I'm on minechat.

Harrison: By the way, we filled the second owner spot!

Iris: You can't teleport me, and yeah, Justin told me.

Harrison: I teleported you out of Hub, to get you out of there.

Iris: Oh ok, aha. Sorry, and thanks for that ~

Harrison: Iris, there's a way out now, go to the end of the path with the sign, and step on the pressure plate.

Iris: Yeah, I saw that before.

Harrison: Does it not work?

Iris: Nah, it worked. Nice, that's something I've been waiting for. I wish I could show you my house.

Harrison: Hold on, let me De-Op myself and try the sign. I've got console, so I can Re-Op myself.

Iris: Wait a sec...

Harrison: Ok, it works.

Iris: Where am I?

Harrison teleports to Iris to see where she is.

Harrison: You're in an awesome man cave -- An empty one, but still awesome.

Iris: That's my home (^_^)

Harrison: I know :D

Iris: I think it's mad (^_^)

Harrison: Same here ~ I will add detail for you, tell me what you think.

Iris: Yeah, thanks, I can't see it though...? I'm on my iPhone.

Harrison: Well, when you get on PC.

Harrison sets his game mode to creative.

Harrison: By the way, I might not even need OP, because of the way I set it up ~

Iris: (^_^) Yeah, I'm out for the night, having a bit of fun (^_^)

Harrison: Bye :P

Iris: Wait, where are you from?

Harrison: [REDACTED: PERSONAL INFORMATION], Allenwood, PA. Mail me if you can pls. Notice meh.

Harrison: So, basically Pennsylvania.

Iris: (^_^) I only wanted the country ~

Harrison: US. The U.S. of A. The You Esp Of A. The You Esp of Ayy Lmao...

Iris: (^_^) Mad, what's the time there?

Harrison: It's 11:06 AM

Iris: Ayee Canadian (*_^)

Harrison: I'm listening to OMFG - I Love You ~ Oh wait, it just ended.

From this point on the conversation becomes deep and personal.

Iris: (^_^) You're very detailed tonight, it's 1:10 AM Here. 1:08 to be exact.

Harrison: It's called "Stimming" and it's an ADHD thing, being very specific.

Iris: Yeah, I sound a bit like you.

Harrison: If you had ADHD you'd know what I mean.

Iris: I don't have ADHD ~

Harrison: Oh.

Iris: What makes you think I do?

Harrison: I didn't say you did, I said "If" you did.

Iris: "Oh" (^_^) -- You sound upset that I don't have it

Harrison: I don't get upset. Well, maybe sometimes.

Iris: Everyone gets upset.

Harrison: Yeah, I suppose, but I get upset less.

Iris: I get upset for no reason most days.

Harrison: I'm usually as calm as could be, some people are more mild like that. :P

Iris: I've like, suffered from fucking depression and shit, so I'm trying to be chilled.

Harrison: I've had a fine life -- Even finder than sir Moustache's Moustache.

Iris: I have a perfect life too, I get everything I want. Perfect Family, Boyfriend, and Yes.

Harrison: Same here -- I don't have a Girlfriend.

Iris: But it it's about what people have and don't have to get depression, it's a sickness.

Harrison: Yeah, it's a state of mind, an imbalance of Seratonin to Melatonin.

From this point on the conversation becomes very deep.

Iris: Yeah -- Getting more personal here, have you ever tried weed?

Harrison: Hello? You're talking to a stoner.

Iris: Is this legit?

Harrison: Yeah ~

Iris: Maddest cunt right here -- Might explain the "not getting upset" part.

Harrison: Truly?

Iris: Yes cunt, Harrison, you're a mad guy ~ Sorry for language

Harrison: I am very mad >:D -- just kidding xD

Iris: I had a couple cones tonight bruh ~

Harrison: Do you mean scones? Cuz you're Canadian.

Iris: I'm not Canadian...

Harrison: Oh, whoops...

Iris: I'm Australian, bloody oath mate ~ Do you know what cones are aye?

Harrison: I was thinking Australia and typed Canada, not sure why.

Iris: (^_^) Okay ~ Bro, do you know what cones are aye? You aren't a stoner if you don't.

Harrison: One sec, my mom's calling me... shit, I hate her, really.

[...]

Harrison: She's telling me to eat.

Iris: Avoiding the question (^_^) Nah, all good. Oh, eat then man.

Harrison: Nah, I just don't want to talk about weed, that's what it is.

Iris: Why's that, Harrison, you can honestly trust me with your life. I'm good at keeping secrets, I promise.

Harrison: It's just a pet peeve, sorry.

Iris: What does that mean?

Harrison: Look it up ~

Iris: Ok, if I must, be right back.

[...]

Iris: You hate it? You think weed's annoying?

Harrison: No, I just think talking about it too much is.

Iris: Do you think I'm annoying?

Harrison: No ~

Iris: (^_^)

Harrison: Jinx ~

Iris: Nah, it's all good, respect.

Harrison: By the way, I use a vaporizer, I never used a bong. Smoke makes me sick.

Iris: Oh yeah, so it's not a regular thing?

Harrison: No, a vaporizer is like, where the THC is in a vapor, instead of a smoke.

Iris: Nah, sorry, just forget about it, I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Harrison: I hope that clears up not knowing about "Cone."

Iris: Yeah, I thought for a second you might be fake, but I see now I was wrong.

Harrison: It happens to the best of us.

Iris: You've probably had enough of me...

Harrison: Nope, I can take you all day :D

Iris: That sounds a little weird, but okay :D

Harrison: I'm listening to a song that says "You must be out of your mind."

Iris: Am I out of my mind?

Harrison: No, you're yourself. I try to be fair, honest and determined.

Iris: Yeah, I just try to do the right thing, if someone's struggling I'll be there for them.

Harrison: ADHD is what made einstein smart, but I don't know about my skills.

Iris: Even if it kills me, I'll be there to help them -- Even if I hate them.

Harrison: I'm not doing to hot in my courses, despite being a quick learner and very creative.

Iris: I can't think of one person I even hate though.

Harrison: Me neither. The exception is my mom, in a sarcastic way xD

Iris: Ah yeah ~ I feel like we're having a good deep conversation.

Harrison: Same here (^_^) -- There was this one kid who looked into my eyes in-game and left. They're red.

Iris: Woah, wait, I'm confused as fuck! ~ Sorry for Swearing...

Harrison: Most times I have the hat layer on, a pair of sunglasses and headphones.

Iris: Still confused...

Harrison: I mean like, my minecraft skin.

Iris: Oh.

Harrison: So yeah, when I disable my hat layer, this kid left the game.

Iris: They can't handle the red eyes, huh? (^_^)

Harrison: Nope xD

Iris: I think I'm catching on, do you have red eyes? (In-game)

Harrison: Yeah, in game. *COUGH* irl too *COUGH*

Iris: (^_^) You should get eye contacts, I have cat cat eye ones.

Harrison: What do you mean? Will they cover it up? (The white (or red) part)

Iris: No, it just covers the iris.

Harrison: Oh, that's dissapointing. :/

Me and Iris reveal our names to eachother for the first time.

Iris: Iris, that's also my name :3

Harrison: That's a really cool name ~ It sounds magical as could be, loving it!

Iris: Ah yea (^_^) You wouldn't tell me yours would you?

Harrison: Sure, I'm Harrison. Harrison Bruce Micheal Smith. Two middle names :)

Iris: Ah, I like it!

Harrison: But when I grow up, I will change it to Harrison Jenson Angelia Williamson.

Iris: Ooh :)

Harrison: H-JAW for short.

Iris: That's a mouthful, but hey, as long as you like it :D -- It's smart.

Harrison: That's a little codename I made up when I was 7 or so.

Iris: Aw (^_^) That's so cute!

Harrison: The whole point is to be unique. I bet nobody has that name.

Iris: Same here, I've never met anyone with my name before.

Harrison: Basically, my birthname is Williamson, so then I just used a random name generator for the middle names!

Iris: Magic, I love it!

Harrison: The factors combine to make the ultimate name!

Iris: You're actually one of a kind ~ I hardly ever find someone to talk to for this long.

Harrison: I am a conversationalist, so, yeah.

Iris: I like it, you're cool :)

Harrison: This is probably why I never get things done :P

Iris: (^_^) Yeah ~ I always get distracted.

Harrison: Thing is, when I actually do something I'm usually pretty good at it, and that's what counts.

Iris: Well, it shows, you have a fucking amazing server. -- Sorry for Swearing...

Harrison: Swearing is cool with me :P

Iris: Sorry, I just don't want to disrespect you or like, make you upset or something.

Harrison: I don't care, I don't give a shit (`^_^`)

Iris: (:^_^:) But is swearing allowed in this server?

Harrison: Of course

Iris: Yeah, awesome, first swear word I've head you say :)

Harrison: It's all about context, if it's hate swearing then no, but emphasis is fine.

Iris: You know it's a fact that people who swear a lot are honest people.

Harrison: Well then call me a liar cuz I used to swear a bunch.

Iris: Yeah, I swear all the time, and I hate lying.

Harrison: Emphasis: I used to swear a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot!

Iris: (^_^) Ok, I get it, I'll never lie, and I don't want to be lied to.

Harrison: Thing is, I always hit a brick wall when lying.

Iris: What do you mean?

Harrison: Well, I've tried lying before and I always end up telling the truth, even if I don't get caught.

Iris: Well, that's a good thing.

Harrison: Agreed, and I can hardly ever keep a personal secret. I can keep yours though :)

Iris: We'll have to wait and see on that one (^_^) Lol, no it's all good.

Harrison: So, I can lie and deceive fluently, but I end up avoiding it because morality and shit.

Iris: I'm the same way man.

Harrison: Oh, by the way I'm a Mormon. And I do weed. Thug Lyfe Bitch!

Iris: Hah, you're a mad cunt bro, honestly.

Harrison: Yeah, Mormons forbid that kind of indulgence. Well, most of them that is (*_^)

Iris: Woah, you're a Mormon?

Harrison: Loosely, yeah. I just have to go with my parents to church, it's not really religious.

Iris: So you can't do sports on Sunday, hey?

Harrison: No, but that's irrelevant, cuz I never got into sports anyways.

Iris: Well, I'm a state basketballer.

Harrison: Cool, so yeah, I don't do sparts, I don't watch sparts, nothing.

[..]

Harrison: Lol, sparts... Spartaaa!!!

Iris: Haha :)

Harrison: Wtf how did I to a double type... I mean typo...

Iris: Ehm...

Harrison: Oh, wow, I typo'd on the word typo.

Iris: Haha -> Ha -> H -> He -> Hell -> Hello -- Illuminati. You think you're cool.

Harrison: I think I'm just another guy, doing what he thinks is right, and never stops 'till he's finished the job.

Iris: Well, I think you're cool. Even though you are very talkative :{

Harrison: Wtf is that face, haha :3

Iris: Idk lol.

Harrison: But yeah, determination is my core, it can branch out into many directions but you can always trace it back to my determination.

Iris: Well, I should go, I didn't bring a charger and my phone's like, dead. Oh, and I need to be home in a few hours (^_^)

Harrison: Oh shit, that's quite a convo stopper, damn son!

Iris: I'm sorry :(

Harrison: Look, remember when u did the illuminati thing?

Iris: Yeah

Harrison: My modification is: Haha -> Ha -> H -> He -> Hell -> No. Hell Nah man!

Iris: (^_^) Hell yeah!

Harrison: No.

Iris: OOH THE FULL STOP, You mad bro?

Harrison: [Thinks for a moment] No. But WOW!

Iris: (^_^) Yeah, right on, I'm off, we'll talk another time, maybe tomorrow.

Harrison: I've been in your base area this whole time, the outside is even better!

Iris: See ya soon!

Harrison: Wait ~ One more sec.

Iris: You realize everything you do for me on this server is REALLY appreciated. A lot.

Harrison: Thanks, bye.

Harrison Kicks Iris off the server, with reason "Leave the fancy way.."

Iris Rejoins the game.

Iris: Wtf, did you kick me?

Harrison: The reason was "Leave the fancy way", did you see it?

Iris: Yes I did, but why, I didn't like it.

Harrison: Oh, it was meant to be funny, sorry about that.

Iris: Oh ok, I though you were being a dick, sorry I took it the wrong way.

Harrison: Hell -> No.

Iris: (.^__^.) OMG XDDD :D -- I don't want to leave :(

Harrison: I know the feeling.

Iris: Sorry, I'll let you do what owners do on servers, cya man, best DMC Ever!

Harrison: Bye!

[..]

Harrison: Wait, what's DMC?

Iris abruptly leaves the game.

#DMC #IrisAndHarrison #StonerTalk #PersonalTalk