#this joke has probably been made before but idgaf

[shu-of-the-wind]

ling, the instant he and lan fan are separated for more than 20 minutes:

#he has NO SELF CONTROL #absolutely NONE #in the LEAST #@ ling yao why are you the way that you are!!! #ling yao #fma #this joke has probably been made before but idgaf #fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist

[tofuxtea]

𝟏:𝟏𝟗 𝐚𝐦 | 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — jack delroy x fem!reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — nsfw, p in v sex, reader helps jack ‘relax’, slight coercion/convincing, unprotected sex, on a counter/table ? LMAO, rough sex lowk, cant think of any other tags, except its not proofread!

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 — this takes place right before the halloween special lol, def might be ooc jack but idgaf!! this took me two days to write i lowkey forgot how to write smut ?? discovered i was a lesbian and forgot how het sex worked my bad yall! anyways enjoy cuz i have yet to see a fic about this man.

the studio was buzzing with excitement when you arrived. crew members blew by you from every direction, barking orders and carrying pieces of halloween decorations that would be strewn around the night owls’ set within the next hour. tonight was the halloween special that was expected to bring jack’s show to the top, and he’d said he wanted you there to see it.

you’d only been there a couple of times — jack advising against you visiting him too often in case people started suspecting things about your relationship.

it was his first since madeleine had passed a year ago, and he wasn’t quite ready to go public yet. especially if it meant it would hurt any chances of the show not beating johnny carson’s tonight show.

afterwards would be your time, he promised you.

you hugged your coat closer to your body as you tried to navigate the set yourself, skimming over the panels beside every door until a familiar face came into view. you sighed, instinctively grinning when you spotted leo fiske, the show’s producer.

his stress-lined face shifted the moment he saw you, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek and a brief hug. “how are ya, sweetheart?”

behind his sunglasses, he looked you up and down and hummed softly. you flashed him a tight grin and pulled your coat shut. he was charming, sure, but sometimes he was more direct than you liked. something told you that he knew about you and jack, and probably threatened the latter with it, but if he did he hid it well.

“i’m alright,” you kept the atmosphere light with a laugh, “where’s jack?”

the mention of his name made the man roll his eyes and scoff. “jackass has been locked up in his dressing room for the past half hour.” you pouted, realizing how much pressure he must be feeling. “end of the hallway to the right. i’ll slide you a fifty if you can untwist his panties, alright?” leo joked, gently patting your shoulder before brushing past you. you watched him go for a second, watching him beckon a female crew member over for something.

you hurried down the hallway to the door leo had directed you to, relieved when you saw jack’s name next to the door. knocking gently, you waited for him to call you in. “jack?” you called out when he didn’t reply.

boldly, you cracked open the door and stuck your head inside, finding jack sitting at his makeup vanity while an artist stood poised at his side, patting powder onto his forehead.

she startled when she heard your entrance, and flashed you a curt smile before returning to jack. he noticed you only when the woman had paused for too long and gestured you inside.

“give us a moment, will you?” he murmured to the makeup artist, who nodded and left the room.

you waited until the door was shut and her footsteps had gone quiet before sliding your arms around jack’s shoulders from behind. “how’re things going?” you asked with a coy grin, pecking him on the cheek.

he groaned when he saw a faint mark from your lipstick and realized he’d have to get another touch up later. “as great as they could be.” he replied rather bitterly, making your smile falter slightly. you gave him a curious look in the mirror, and that was his breaking point. his head lulled into his palm, paying no mind to how his fingers ruffled his gelled hair. “i swear to god, fiske thinks i can’t fuckin’ do it. he doesn’t think i can pull it off tonight.”

you hovered beside him for a second, unsure of how to console him. “what do you mean? tonight’s been all the talk for a week now, it’s gonna do great, baby.” you tried to reassure him, gently shaking him by his shoulders in his seat.

this seemed to ease his nerves just a little and he sighed, sliding a hand up to grab your hand. he found your eyes in the mirror and smiled for the first time that night, then looked down at your outfit.

you’d picked his favorite red dress, pairing it with the little devil-horn headband tucked away in your purse. it was shorter than you liked it to be, often having to tug the glittery fabric back down the curve of your hips, but jack loved when you wore it. tonight was a special occasion, so you figured he’d appreciate it.

“i just don’t know what i’m gonna do. what if he’s right?” jack continued to ramble. “you know, he keeps tellin’ me christou’s gig isn’t gonna gain enough traction to get us up. gus was tellin’ me that he’s called an act in last minute and he hasn’t run it by me yet — i swear to god, if it’s that jackass carmichael—” he huffed and stopped when he realized he was getting too worked up.

he hadn’t realized you had peeled yourself off of him and was tossing your coat onto the couch beside him. “hand me a smoke, won’t ya sweetheart?” he pointed loosely to your purse, knowing you were carrying some.

you two smoked the same brand, so he often stole yours. you didn’t mind.

you handed him a cigarette and he leaned in for a light. he sunk back into his chair as he blew out a puff of smoke, the tension steadily chipping away.

“baby, you need to relax, alright?” you cooed softly, stealing a quick drag of his cigarette. “you’re gonna do great. you always do.” your lithe fingers gently rubbed at his shoulders, smiling as his eyes fluttered shut and he melted under your hands.

“c’mere.” he grabbed your wrist and tugged you around his chair, steadying you with his hands on your hips before him. his eyes raked down your body and he sucked in a sharp breath. “relax, huh?” jack’s voice was low now, deeper. it made your breath hitch in your throat.

“jack, i…” your eyes flickered over to the unlocked door and you took a step back. your ass bumped into the edge of his vanity. a startled cry escaped you. “you’re on soon.” you whispered with an uneasy grin. although, he wasn’t live for another hour or so.

as much as your stomach fluttered at the look in his eyes, you feared the embarrassment if someone were to walk in on you two. especially if you weren’t public yet.

“c’mon, sweetheart,” jack groaned, chasing you out of his seat. his hands caged you in against the vanity, one reaching out to smash his cigarette out into the ashtray beside you, and his body pushed against yours. he practically forced you on top of the counter, a few bottles and trinkets toppling over in your little scramble. jack took the chance to nudge his knee in between your legs, humming with satisfaction at the small whine you tried and failed to keep inside.

you ducked your head shyly, but he moved with you, coaxing you into looking up. when he had you, he could tell there was no going back. your lips parted as you glanced down at his.

“that’s it.” he whispered with a gentle smirk before he kissed you. you sighed into it, feeling his urgency as his tongue slipped past your teeth. your fingers wrapped tightly around his biceps, your legs threatening to give out underneath you.

they instinctively parted when you felt the tip of jack’s finger trail up the top of your thigh. your skin dimpled with goosebumps and you shivered. he had such a feathery touch until he reached the hem of your dress, stealing a quick glance at how it bunched up at the fat of your hips and revealed your red panties.

then his hand dipped in between your thighs, his fingers prodding at your clothed cunt. you whined, a little too loudly, and jack flashed you a warning look.

“can you be quiet for me, sweetheart?” he whispered. you hardly had the mind to nod, let alone comprehend what he was saying. your mind was fucking spinning trying to get a grip, and it didn’t help that jack’s middle finger was lazily circling your clit over your panties. “what’s that?” he taunted, chin lowering with expectancy.

“mhm, yes, yes i can,” you eagerly nodded, words stringing together in a barely coherent murmur.

“good girl.” jack groaned. he slipped his hand into the waistband of your panties, a smirk dancing on his lips when he felt how wet you were. “you wanted this, huh?”

you hadn’t entirely realized that he was talking to you, too busy working your hips against his heavy fingers. your body felt like it was on fire. you desperately pleaded for him to hurry up, for both of your sakes.

he looked down at your clumsy fingers as they tried to unbuckle his belt, but it was like it was welded around his waist. frenzied whimpers filled the room until jack finally helped you, almost taking pity on your incoherency. while he worked at the zipper on his trousers, you quickly slid your panties down your hips and around at least one foot. the thin lace dangled from the toe of your heel when jack captured you in another fervent kiss.

you feel the tip of his cock catch just below your clit and your breath caught in your throat. one of his hands slid to the small of your back, pulling you to the very edge of the counter. your legs widened for him, waiting.

he granted you relief, easing himself into your tight cunt. he groaned into your neck, stilling so he didn’t cum on the spot. “god, you’re so fuckin’ tight.” his voice shook.

he went until his hips were flush with yours, watching how your face contorted with pure ecstasy. your lips parted in a high cry and your eyes squeezed shut, and your head lulled back. jack stole the opportunity to latch onto your neck, adorning your skin with kisses and licks. you pulled him closer with your arms around his neck.

“shit, jack,” your fingers raked through his hair, neither of you caring about how pissed hair and makeup were going to be with him. long, dark strands fell over his forehead and tickled your skin. “jack.”

he loved how his name sounded in your mouth. how he always managed to get you like this, though for some reason it was quicker than usual that your face flushed and your eyelids drooped with arousal. it stirs something deep in his stomach and he slams into you, setting an unrelenting pace. he didn’t care that it rocked the vanity mirror back into the wall with a hollow thud.

your thighs hug his waist and your ankles meet behind him, silently pleading for more. “greedy little girl, aren’t you?” he whispers with half a grin. he draws a strained cry from you with each deep thrust, your cunt clenching in fluttering pulses around him.

“fuck,” he hissed, knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer. he knows you wouldn’t either. your cries were growing louder and louder and more frequent. the mirror kept tapping against the wall and things kept rolling off of the counter and onto the floor. tears gathered in your eyes, painting your eyelashes each time your eyes squeezed shut. though each time you did, jack would remind you to look at him. he gently shushed you at first, then used his mouth when you weren’t listening.

your back arched into his chest as you came with a cry of his name, jack murmuring into your ear, “good girl, that’s it.” your body seemed to melt in his arms, going near slack as you came down from the high he was fucking you through.

it was only a few more thrusts until he came, barely managing to pull out before painting the insides of your thighs. he knew you would be pissed that it got on your dress once you realized, but he didn’t care.

after a minute of blissful silence, jack checked his watch. “shit, fiske’s probably lookin’ for me.” he rolled his eyes as he buckled his belt, praying to god that his beige pants were relatively stain-free.

if push came to shove, he’d tell him that he spilled his drink in his lap. he gave you room to get to your feet, watching with quiet pride as your knees wobbled pretty noticeably.

you tugged your dress down your hips, absently searching for a tissue box. a smile crossed your lips when you looked up and you lifted yourself onto your tip-toes to press a kiss to his lips.

“knock ‘em dead, baby.”

lowkey surrounded this smut based on the “secret relationship” trope and the last line. lowkey ass and rushed but enjoy!

#late night with the devil jack delroy #late night with jack delroy #late night with the devil #lnwtd #david dastmalchian #jack delroy smut #jack delroy #smut #horror smut #horror

[xxlady-lunaxx]

I can't | {InoTan(Zen)}

Theme: Fluff and Angst

Note: The parantheses in the title (the InoTan(Zen)) is because this is mostly InoTan but Zenitsu is also partally involved in the relationship, except because this is mostly from Inosuke's POV (although 3rd perspective so uhm-) it mostly features InoTan rather than the full InoTanZen iykwim :>

Also major spoilers 😁 Idgaf there's probably spoilers in all of the one shots I write.. this one just has more bc of the ending of the manga- 😀 And I apologize if I get anything incorrect I haven't read the last book in a while ;-;

Tanjiro had always been easy to like. Even from the beginning, when he'd worried about Inosuke all the time. It was annoying, of course. But there was a small tug in his heart. Something that told him that this boy was different. And different in a good way. Tanjiro was constantly there for him, caring, worrying, it was just so.. comforting. A warmth that Inosuke liked. It was a soothing one. Sometimes it even gave him a feeling of nostolgia, although he was unsure why given that he'd been raised by boars who weren't exactly like this. 

Inosuke often found himself thinking about Tanjiro—something he hated catching himself doing, and always ended up being really flushed around Tanjiro for the next hour before he managed to keep himself collected again and back to his normal, chaotic self.

The two—or rather, the three, but Inosuke often favored Tanjiro over Zenitsu—grew closer over time and eventually a relationship sprouted from the roots of their friendship. The more time they spent with each other, the more time they made new memories with one another, the more the bud bloomed into a flower. And by then they started dating. It wasn't clear, at first, just.. a suggestion. An unspoken one. 

Small things; holding hands while they walked, sharing snacks, going on mindless walks together, etc. Eventually the flower buds pricked out more and they started doing bigger things. Hugs here and then, stolen kisses between missions. They were at first, just on the cheek. It had started when they'd been joking around and Tanjiro had taken Zenitsu's hand and kissed it, much to the blond's surprise. Eventually it became something normal to do. Take one's hand, or cheek, and kiss it. Just.. touches of affection. Not a lot, right? Just a joke? But it turned into more. More as in.. on the neck, collarbone, lips.. 

That's when it became abundantly clear that they liked each other. That's when the unspoken relationship came to be. They had something different. A secret they kept but none had ever said aloud. Sometimes, their conversations nearly led to the subject, moving dangerously close. But it was always turned away at the last minute and it was left untouched. The flower continued blooming as time went on. Eventually, Tanjiro decided to just straight up ask. 

One day, after a mission, the three had been walking home—home was just an abandoned house they had found and fixed up to liveable conditions—and they were talking. Tanjiro went off to the side to rest a little, put Nezuko down. While Inosuke and Zenitsu argued a little on the road, waiting for Tanjiro to catch his breath, the sweet boy was looking for some flowers. When he came back, he was adjusting Nezuko's box—as far as the other two could see. But then he pulled out the flowers and give them to Inosuke and Zenitsu. Inosuke had taken his in wonder; they were a bundle of blue forget-me-nots, beautifully intertwined with each other. He'd seen them all over the mountains where he'd lived and was very familiar with them. But for some reason, for some reason these were special. They were special because they came from Tanjiro. Then the young and wild boy looked up and his eyes met Tanjiro's, right before the other's eyes met Zenitsu's. Then Tanjiro uttered the words that are now engraved in Inosuke's mind, the words he would never forget and forever cherish. "Inosuke, Zenitsu, would you two.. be my boyfriends?" 

Tanjiro had said more. Went on with a rant—a cute one at that, Inosuke always loves listening to Tanjiro when he went on, rambling about whatever was on his mind. He found it adorable in some ways, although when anyone else did it he found it extremely annoying and boring—something about how it was okay if they didn't want to, it was okay if they said no, how he'd been thinking about this for a while, and so on and so forth. Inosuke heard none of it however, just staring at Tanjiro and how lovely he looked in the sunlight. Then Inosuke's eyes locked with Zenitsu's and they both grinned. Tanjiro was then smothered in a hug and the rest of his words were stopped in his throat as the other two embraced him, accepting the flowers and the question. They both loved him with all their hearts and wouldn't, even if it saved them their lives, have said no.

And so it went on. A tree now. Big and beautiful. Blooming flowers coating the branches. They spent a lot of time together. This time their relationship wasn't quite as secret as before. Their hugs in public were much longer, more prominent. 'Secret' whispered conversations were held more often. Hands clutching each other's hands were seen whenever they were together. And soon, the brief kisses hidden from the view of others became something none of the trio cared for the world to know about. Nezuko had been delighted at the three's revelation, how they'd gotten together, all of it. She loved how it made them all seem closer, as well, how they felt more like family with every minute.

But of course, good things always come to an end. 

Inosuke found himself in a difficult position. Tanjiro or himself. Tanjiro or himself. Tanjiro or himself. Tanjiro was a demon. Stronger than Muzan. He had to move. Cut the head. Weaken him. Just move!! Cut his head off. Now! Move! Why.. why can't he? Is it because.. because he was his boyfriend? Because they were more now? Because he didn't want to lose all he had? All he'd gained? All the love.. the happiness.. everything.. everything he fought for.. gone? No.. he couldn't.. he couldn't do this.. no.. please.. don't.. don't make him make such a terrible decision.. True.. Tanjiro was a demon now, he could regenerate.. but Inosuke would never forgive himself if he hurt Tanjiro. No. He couldn't. He.. just.. couldn't.. And he felt himself pulling away. Moving out of harms way. But Tanjiro was faster, pinning him down. He heard somebody call to him. The Hashira. The Half and Half Haori Hashira.. What was he saying..? 

"CUT OFF HIS HEAD, HASHIBIRA!!"

No.. no.. he.. it was too hard.. Then he let out a strangled cry as Tanjiro went for his neck.

"I'm sorry.. I can't..!" he whispered.

{Word Count: 1153}

Stop I actually feel bad for writing this 💀

#inotanzen #angst #spoilers #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #dkt #demon king tanjiro #tanjiro #inosuke #zenitsu #kamaboko squad #angsty shit

[marvel-m-lee]

Hiya! So I have a question: how do I shift, and what are the proper precautions I should take? How do I get back? How do I set a time? Like, I've seen things where people have shifted like, six months but it was only six minutes in the current reality? I want to try it, but it seems kinda scary and I'm afraid that I'm not gonna be able to get back or something, or I shift for too long and I forget what life is like in the current reality.

Sorry if this is super personal or weird or anything. It just seems super fascinating and I want to try it, and I feel like voices most of my questions would probably help my confusion. If you want to answer this in DMs or something then I would be fine with that! But if you don't want to answer this at all, that's perfectly fine too! I understand this was out of the blue, and from a person you don't know that well either.

Either way, I hope you have a wonderful day/night! <3

This was out of the blue bc I don't post like THAT much about shifting here, BUT, I'm so glad you asked! Recently I tried to give up with shifting but the universe had a hissy fit and stuff so I quickly came back PFFT- ANYWAY THIS IS GONNA BE LONG SO:

Anyway, hello! I'm so glad you asked!

I've been in the shifting community for around a year now (just over), And yes, it is scary at first, I feel like if people say it isn't, are the ones who sleep with one foot dangling off the bed for the monster to steal. No joke.

Personally I haven't shifted yet, BUT I've had some incredible experiences all the same.

(BTW I realised I didn't explain this until halfway through, a DR is a desired reality,its where you're shifting too. A OR is your original reality, and a CR is your current reality.)

First of all, what is shifting? Shifting for a fact has been practiced for hundreds of years, there are actually some offical documents from the Govt. On it but they were quickly taken away once people realised it was real. (Some people have them saved though so you can find them still!)

Shifting is mainly debated between the multiverse theory and a mental theory, personally, idgaf bc it's all real. It all feels real, like so very real. Like have you had them realistic dreams? Yeah, more realistic then them.

I recommend doing a lot of research on shifting before anything. It's very wide spread so take everything with a pinch of salt but the basics are:

Its real, it feels real, its safe, its fun.

How do you shift? Well this one's also a little touchy touchy as a LOT of mis information has gone around for it. Best advice? Intention. Honestly that's all you need. Just trust yourself, want it, and get it.

You can also use methods, you can find guided meditations online of these! Some may work, others may not, just keep trying.

Also, no, you don't need to lay on your back, you don't need to drink water or tidy your room or meditate every five minutes or whatever. It's a natural process, these things just help some individuals. Just be you though.

Precautions!

Don't push yourself. Please. Shifting is fun, you can can anything, anywhere. You're the canvas and the painter.

Try not to keep pushing yourself or doing things you're uncomfortable with. If you need a break, take it. Try not to over obsess it.

There aren't many precautions with shifting in particular, but around it, yes. Be careful with what you read online, even this, I bet I made some mistakes.

Now onto the fun stuff, the rest of your questions can be answered with the magical thing called a script.

So,hopefully many people on here know I'm lazy 😭😂 so I don't actually use scripts as much as other people, a lot of people love them and will spend HOURS decorating them and making them all fancy. Me personally, I usually add little bits into my writing on here, like with my y/n Marvel series, y/n has many things my dr self would, like her room design or powers.

Scripts are where you keep all your written out details. Like your name, birthday, personality. Like a little fact file for your DR.

You can write whatever here, so one you asked in particular was about time. You would write "time ratio" or something in your script and then a time ratio, a popular one is 1hr in your OR is a day/month in your DR.

Personally I shift at night, so I don't have a time ratio, I would shift at night and when I wanted to come home I would wake up before school or just normally. (If I wanna skip school or smth though I would normally put the hr here is a day there pfft)

You can also script scene scenarios in your DR! For example in my Marvel DR, I wake up in the hospital bed at the Compound, then Bruce finds me and we watch the sunrise- almost exactly as my sunrise series. Another mini scene I have is that Peter P. Wade, Eddie and I all have a movie day and do face masks- it's so awesome PFFT-

Scripts as a whole are mainly made for you you just remember what you want, keep it fresh in your mind, but you don't need one. Like me, I just write tiny fics for myself or act out them, I keep everything in my mind and day dream a lot bc it's how I work, I just find it easier. I know loads on all of it though bc I did get obsessed at one point PFFT

Oh I almost forgot: you also ask about how to get back. Same as getting there: intention! So many people write a safe word or action in their script, this particular thing will take them back straight away. Thus can be any word or action but hopefully you choose one you don't say a lot because you could send yourself home on accident pfft-

Mainly intention though, so you go home when you want, just as you shofy when you want.

If you're a worry pot like I am about time, you can also have something that's tell your OR time, for me it's this little book ehich has everything, my scripted scenarios, mini random stuff I scripted, safe word, safe action, time, the whole lot. Its magic too so I'm not entirely sure how it works but it'll tell me whatever I want to, whenever i need. You can also scripted in the lifa app which does this exact thing but it's an app on your phone.

-

This is me changing the topic. Okay so basics

Shifting is waking up somewhere else, or moving your concious or whatever. You can see your cc, live your dream life.

Shifting is safe.- there are some more warnings after this though.

Scripts! Just writing down your thoughts for your dr, relationships, time ratios, scenes, anything

INTENTION INTENTION INTENTION!

-

One thing I will say, is Lucid dreaming. Shifting and Lucid dreaming are similar, but they're not the same. Even so, I would say to learn Lucid dreaming because its really cool either way. Personally when I have Lucid dreams they're some of my best memories or worst, which I love a lot because I'm so fascinated by dreams and such.

Anyway, more precautions.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Before I continue, trigger warning until the next ⚠️ emoji because the next part mentions many triggering topics but it's incredible serious.

Shifting feels real. This is something I know for a fact and still haven't wrapped my mind around entirely. But u scream this: it feels real. So don't do things you wouldn't normally ig? So if you kill someone, you kill someone, if you get raped, you will get raped. It isn't a dream, you will get traumatised. So please don't script these things, and if you do, understand that it will traumatise you and script a therapist.

You can script you don't bring these trauma's back, but I don't know how true that fact is due to it being trauma and something that went around a while ago.

Now this is very controversial, so I'm I'm going to say it once. Script and do what you want with shifting, but know what your doing.

If you believe in the multiverse theory, and say you shift to a reality where you're a murderer. Yes whether you shift there or not, it happened, but you made the choice to shift there and do it.

With shifting, I would also advice getting a DR where you have a therapist or get physio help. I have one, I'm glad I do. It's free and useful.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Okay it's ended, but honestly above is really serious and important.

Anyway, Shifting is fun, it's a way to experience everything you've ever wanted to. You can be famous, see all your comfort characters, live on TV shows, fly, watch the sunset in another country, travel the world, love, smile, get help, do anything you've ever wanted. But remember it's real, you feel everything you do, you will remember it. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows here, nor will it be there, that's how it's real.

Anyway, if you have anymore questions my DM's and inbox are always open!

I love talking about shifting and its not something too personal to myself, my family all know I do it and i think the mind is so incredible so I will study it a lot.

Anyway, yeah, Its gonna be scary at first, it's new, it's incredible, but you'll get used to it, it's like going on holiday i guess. And yiu don't have to miss life here either.

Once again, take everything i said with a grain of salt, every shifting experience is different. Everyone's different. Do research and I'm always here to answer more questions! <333

#tickle community #shifting #shifting motivation #shifting realities #shifting consciousness #shifter #reality shift #just be you

[nettles-bo-bettles]

Two Plus Two Equals Five

Third Person POV: It had been three years since Marinette had moved to Gotham City to study design at Gotham Academy. As usual she went to one of her favorite coffee shops in Gotham so she could get some energy after pulling all nighters for the past month and just living off of coffee. After walking 6 blocks from her apartment she got to the coffee shop, Loca Mocha (Ty Sabs). She went inside and ordered her usual, a six shot latte with cream, whipped cream on top and salted caramel sauce drizzled across the top (idk if that would actually taste good but I don’t drink coffee so don’t mind me). She went to find a seat and was unsuccessful until she found a free table in the far back of the coffee shop, however, someone else was looking at the same table at the same time as her and they ended up bumping into each other while not paying attention and heading towards the same table.

“Sorry sorry, I’m insanely clumsy.”

“No it’s alright, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” “That makes two of us, I should’ve paid more attention. I’m Marinette by the way.”

“I should’ve paid more attention too. I’m Tim, it’s nice to meet you Marinette.”

“So I guess we both just had our eyes on the table huh?” “Yeah.”

“Should we just sit together then? There’s no other empty tables or seats.”

“That’d probably be easiest.”

“I have an order for a Marinette, six shot latte, with cream, whipped cream on top and salted caramel sauce drizzled on the top,” one of the baristas yelled. “I should go get that, I’ll be right back.”

‘She seems like an interesting person, I kind of want to get to know her’ Tim thought. Marinette came back to the table and sat down, Tim already had his coffee since he had ordered before Marinette came into the shop. Marinette was about to pull out her laptop to start working when Tim stopped her. She looked at him confused,

“I- I wanted to get to know you better before the both of us have to leave,” he said nervously.

“Oh, I supposed I understand that,” she said and put her laptop away.

“So, what are your hobbies?” Tim asked her.

“Well, I love designing. It's my passion and dream to be a designer and I’ve been doing it my whole life so I guess I could count that as a hobby. I also bake a lot, my parents are bakers so I’ve been taught by the pros,” she said, the last part with a joking tone.

“Those are a lot more interesting than my hobbies, all I do with my life is work and then work some more, get some coffee and sleep once a month,” Tim said jokingly.

“I’m sure you have more hobbies than that but okay.”

They continued to learn more about each other and got more and more interested in the other every second. Customers came and went and eventually it was 1pm. The tables were full again and another customer walked in, this time, however, Marinette and Tim watched them order. Marinette just happened to recognize the customer as Lê Chiến Kim. Kim ordered his drink and went to look for a table when someone caught his eye, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

“Long time no see Mari-bitch.” Kim said to her, clearly trying to offend her though it didn’t work.

“Nice to see you too, Kim.” Marinette replied calmly.

“Still sending death threats to Lila?” Kim asked snottily.

“Still a sheep following around a liar with no evidence?” Marinette said smoothly.

“You still don’t believe Lila huh? You know she’s friends with the Waynes right? Plus she’s dating the youngest Wayne son and she could get 15 lawsuits put on you with a few words. All she’d have to do is tell her boyfriend that you sent her death threats and bullied her in highschool.” Kim said stupidly in front of the second youngest Wayne son.

“Hi, Kim right?” Tim said stepping in.

“Yeah? And what’s it to ya?” Kim replied in a rude tone.

“I’m Tim Drake, and I sure as hell think I’d know if my younger brother was dating a lying bitch. Damian is smart enough to avoid people like that and this ‘Lila’ person seems like a golddigger, my brother also isn’t the type to cheat on his boyfriend.” Tim said, glaring at Kim.

“What do you mean? You just said your last name is Drake, that’s not Wayne you dumbass.” Kim said, thinking he knows everything.

“The thing is Bruce Wayne, my adoptive father, has adopted all of his kids except for Damian and we all kept our last names. Damian is the only biological child of Bruce that we know of and he most definitely is not dating anyone named Lila, he’s dating Jonathan Kent. I would, however, like to know the last name of this Lila.” Tim said.

“Oh Lila’s name is Lila Rossi, I’m sure you’d love to meet her, you see she knows tons of celebrities and she even taught MDC how to design, though, MDC did steal some of Lila’s designs.” Kim said, completely oblivious to the fact that he just landed Liar Grossi- oops, I meant Lila Rossi about seventeen lawsuits.

“Thank you for the name, now if you don’t mind I’d prefer if you just leave.” Tim said.

Kim left and forgot about the coffee he ordered.

“So...what was that about?” Tim asked.

“Well, it’s kind of a long story…” Marinette responded.

“I’m willing to listen to any story coming from you no matter how long it is,” Tim said without thinking. (The amount of cheesiness in that sentence is the reason why it pained my soul to write that)

Marinette laughed, “Whatever you say.”

And so we start from the beginning of Sophomore year at Francois Dupont Highschool. (Idgaf if it’s a middle school)

“Well when I was in my freshman year of high school I had a pretty good year, I was class president, I was friends with everyone, had a crush on a guy I thought was nice, and thought that nobody would ever believe someone they just met over myself. Then, Sophomore year came around and there was an exchange student, Lila Rossi. She claimed to be best friends with one of Paris’s heroes, Ladybug, and my best friend was obsessed with Ladybug so she automatically became friends with Lila. I, however, knew that Lila wasn’t friends with Ladybug because I myself was friends with her and knew that she would never become friends with someone that easily. I confronted Lila about her Lies about Ladybug and a few other famous people but she ended up threatening me. She told me that she would take all my friends and make everyone hate me, she almost succeeded completely but I still have my friends Chloe, Nino, Kagami and Luka. She told everyone that I had bullied her and that I had sent her death threats, though, she had no proof and everyone believed her because she said she knew celebrities which meant she would always tell the truth to them, they didn’t need proof. They ended up bullying me to teach me a lesson in their words, one time I almost died, they beat me up and stabbed me in the stomach multiple times resulting in me going into a coma for months. Lila also told my biological parents these lies and sadly they believed all of them, when I tried to explain it to them they just ignored me and became distant with me, they ended up disowning me and my honorary uncle adopted me with his wife, I applied for a few colleges after I graduated and even though I was accepted to harvard something just called me to go to gotham academy instead so I did, I don’t regret it to this day, I’ve learned a lot more about design and myself than I would have learned at harvard or any other school. Plus, I found Loca Mocha and like- this place has amazing coffee, I could never say no to it.”

“Wow, you weren’t lying, that is a really long story. But it was an interesting one and one that made me want to murder whoever this Lila person is.”

They talked for a while more just talking about ways to murder Lila for just being a bitch. The one they decided on was to torture her and make her wish she were dead and then give her a very slow and painful death and then chop up her limbs, throw them into a volcano, collect her ashes from said volcano and place them in a separate galaxy. Eventually it was 7pm and they didn’t even realize the amount of time that had passed until one of the baristas asked them to leave as the coffee shop was closing.

“Um Ma’am? Sir? We’re closing up soon, I hate that I have to interrupt but it would probably be easiest if you guys left before we start closing up.” The barista said.

“Oh, sorry I guess we didn’t realize what time it is, we’ll get going now.” Marinette and Tim said at the same time.

The two collected their belongings and walked out of the coffee shop hand-in-hand. Eventually they got to a crossing point between Wayne Manor and Marinette’s apartment so they had to part ways, not before exchanging phone numbers of course. Tim told her to text him immediately once she got home so he knew that she got home safe.

Marinette got home about five minutes later and texted Tim once she unlocked her apartment door. She made herself some ramen for dinner and binge-watched Haikyuu. She was in the middle of watching Tadashi yell at Tsukishima about being more excited about winning when Tim texted her saying that he was home and asking if she wanted to meet at Loca Mocha again the next day. She, of course, said yes and told him she’d see him the next day. A few hours later, while Marinette was working on one of her projects at two in the morning, Tim texted her asking if she was awake. She texted him back once she saw it and asked him why he was awake.

Coffee Addict: I could say the same to you -_-

Workaholic: Well I have a reason to be awake, I’m working on design projects. What’s your excuse?

Coffee Addict: Insomnia. Work. Patrol. Coffee.

Coffee Addict: Ignore the patrol part.

Workaholic: You’re a coffee addicted insomniac obsessed with getting their work done and you’re a hero?

Coffee Addict: ...you just met me yesterday you shouldn’t be able to know me that well.

Workaholic: I’m good at reading people.

Coffee Addict: Damn

Workaholic: You should be asleep, go to sleep

Coffee Addict: I have patrol tonight though. Workaholic: Ask someone to cover for you because someone you met at a coffee shop who also happens to be a sleep deprived insomniac is telling you to sleep.

Coffee Addict: Fine but only if you agree to go to sleep too.

Workaholic: Okay :)

Coffee Addict: I got my sister to cover for patrol for me.

Workaholic: Now sleep then

Coffee Addict: Fineeeeeeeee

After a few minutes of back and forth telling each other to sleep they both said goodnight and went to bed.

~Time skip brought to you by who gives a shit~

Marinette woke up at 8am as usual and got ready to meet Tim. She wore her hair down and wavy, put on some light makeup, some black doc marten combat boots, light wash ripped jean shorts and a black crop top. Once she was ready she left to go to Loca Mocha. Time woke up at 7:30 am, a little later than usual. He got up and styled his hair, put on some jeans, a plain t-shirt tucked into his jeans, and white converse hightops. He went downstairs to get some breakfast from Alfred when everyone looked at him weirdly.

“Are you guys okay... “ Tim asked.

“Tim- what are you wearing? Why are you dressed up casually instead of your usual work suit? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHY DON’T YOU HAVE COFFEE? WHY DO YOU LOOK AWAKE AND SANE?!?!” Jason asked, starting to think that he was drugged.

“Oh well yesterday I met this girl at Loca Mocha and I spent the entire day getting to know her and last night at two in the morning I asked if she was awake and she made me go to sleep after I asked Cass to cover for me on patrol. I’m meeting with her again today.” Tim explained in a hurry to get to the coffee shop.

“You landed a girl who can get you to sleep- how the hell did that happen?” Jason asked.

“I’m still not completely sure myself. But I’m glad I met her.” Tim replied with a smile.

Everyone else in the room just stared at Tim expectantly.

“What?”

“When do we get to meet her???”

“UM- NEVER THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!”

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!”

“Oh yes I can and I will.” Tim said and walked out of the manor.

When Tim got to the coffee shop he waited for Marinette, at 8:15 she texted him and told him she was on her way, Tim realized he might have gotten there a little earlier than he had to. He waited for a while knowing she would probably get there around 8:30. By the time it was 8:40 he started to get worried but stayed put just in case, once it was 9:00 he couldn’t help it, he got up and started walking towards her apartment, once he got there he looked for her and asked people if they saw anyone who looked like her until he turned his head to an alleyway and was horrified at what he saw…

Hehehehehehe I’ve always wanted to do that. I swear I never knew how fun it could be. Anyways that’s it for the first chapter, I hope you enjoyed it.

Page count: I’m too lazy to check.

Day Posted: 04/23/21

Word Count: 2380

#lettuce #timari #two plus two equals five #first chapter #L e t t u c e #Lettuce supremacy

[ilovemygaydad]

title: super cool

pairings: roceit, analogical, qpr remy/remus

summary: roman, who is a giant nerd, is pining after the most popular guy at school. 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, anger, frustration, crying, a couple of sexual jokes (skip the tiny scene that starts with remy speaking), sympathetic deceit, remus, threats (as jokes), self-deprecation, lying, meddling with relationships, shame, brief humiliation, embarrassment, the briefest food mention, slight misunderstandings, awkward conversations, and possibly something else

a/n: this was commissioned by the wonderful, lovely @adultmorelikeadolt who suggested that i write this after complaining about not having any ideas on what to write. this definitely has room for a second part, so... maybe i’ll write another? idk. maybe if i get an idea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also yes i know that there are a ridiculous amount of ace and aro people in this fic but guess what? idgaf!!!! ace!roman and aroace!pat, remus, and remy are all great and i’d be an idiot if i didn’t add them all in. not to mention a little bit of enby!logan!!!! i’m in love with them all so i get to make the rules

commission info (two slots for 50% off are still open!)

consider buying me a coffee

---

“Roman, stop being a fucking creep,” Virgil chided from his perch on Logan’s lap. He flicked an overcooked pea from his tray, which hit Roman square on the cheek.

“I am not being a creep,” Roman snapped, not taking his eyes off of the boy he was staring at. “I’m admiring.”

Logan quirked an eyebrow, shifting their gaze between Roman and the boy across the courtyard. “I’m almost certain that you’re being a creep.”

“You’re biased because you’re Virgil’s partner! That’s not fair at all,” Roman huffed. He turned to look at Patton. “I’m not being a creep, right?”

“Well...” 

Roman gasped. He dramatically pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by all of my friends! I thought you cared about me, but I was horribly mistaken!”

“Maybe if you didn’t awkwardly stare at Damien during lunch, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Virgil suggested.

“Well, it’s not as if I could talk to him!” Damien Taylor was easily the most popular guy at Sanders High. There was no chance in hell that Roman Fairfield, resident history nerd and drama geek, could so much as stand within five feet of him, let alone strike up a conversation.

Patton rolled his eyes. “It isn’t illegal to talk to him, you know. Just compliment him on his dress or something.”

“It isn’t that easy,” Roman griped. Damien was just so cool. He was suave and charming and unbelievably handsome, and he wore whatever he wanted with the confidence of a million superstars, regardless of the style or if it showed off his vitiligo. Nearly every boy, girl, and nonbinary person either wanted to date him, be him, or befriend him. He was practically irresistible, and despite the attention that he was given, Damien preferred his small friend group of Remy Xander and Remus Adams. Roman was simply another admirer. He wasn’t anything special like Damien obviously wanted.

“Stop doing that,” Virgil said, tearing Roman from his thoughts.

“Stop what?”

“The whole brooding thing.” Virgil vaguely waved his hands around. “I can practically hear the self-hatred from here.”

“Oh, whatever, Danger Days,” Roman hissed. He crossed his arms and turned away, more upset than angry. There was a bit of shuffling behind him, and within a few moments, Virgil’s arms had wrapped around his middle in a comforting hug. His resolve quickly crumbled, and he leaned into his friend’s side.

“We love and support you always, Ro,” Virgil whispered as he pressed a gentle kiss on the top of Roman’s head. “You are incredible.”

---

Despite Virgil’s sweet words at lunch, Roman felt anything but incredible. 

He had stayed after class for forty minutes to chat with his teacher, which was pretty standard, but when he’d tried to turn his car on afterward, the engine refused to turn on. He had half a mind to call one of his friends to drive him home, but Virgil and Logan had mentioned earlier that they were going on a date, and Patton’s sister would be less than pleased to have to turn around to pick up one of her brother’s “weird friends.” So Roman was stuck, and he felt pretty damn shitty about it.

“Stupid car,” he muttered as he kicked angrily at one of his tires. “Stupid old car that’s held together by duct tape and safety pins!”

“You look upset,” someone said behind him, and Roman whipped around to find Damien standing there with Remy and Remus a few feet behind him, holding hands.

Oh, shit.

“Um, yeah, I guess. My car broke down, and all of my friends have left already.” He awkwardly gestured at the mostly-empty parking lot.

“I can help.” Damien walked around to the front of the car, waving Remy to follow. Roman absolutely did not stare as Damien’s yellow dress swirled around his legs like liquid sunshine. “I’m good at finding the problem, and Remy is just fantastic at the actual fixing.”

“Oh, um, thank you.”

Remy slid his shades into his hair with a bored expression. “It’s no problem, doll. Can you pop the hood for me?”

Roman nodded and did as he was told. While Damien and Remy poked around the engine, he sat on the pavement beside his car to watch. Remus, who had been explicitly told by Remy to not touch anything, searched for bugs in the grassy area a few feet away, occasionally making random, lewd comments to his QPP. Remy would retaliate by rolling his eyes and giving Remus the finger, and Damien seemed completely unfazed by their antics.

“So good news,” Damien said fifteen minutes after they had started. “I figured out what’s wrong.”

“And?”

“I can’t fix it,” Remy answered. He spouted off a bit of technical nonsense about how something had broken and would need to be replaced, which Roman didn’t get at all except for the underlying message that his car was still fucked up, and he still didn’t have a way to get home.

“Shit, okay.” Roman rubbed at his eyes in frustration. If he hadn’t been in the company of the three most popular kids at school, he probably would have started crying right then and there. “Okay. Thanks for trying to help.”

He heard the hood slam closed, followed by the retreating voices of Remus and Remy, but he still didn’t move. Hot tears started to well up in his eyes, and he internally kicked himself for feeling so upset. It wasn’t even that big of a deal that his car had broken down, yet he was crying like a baby. He sniffled and scrubbed harshly at his eyes. Thank god that Damien and his group had left already.

His momentary thankfulness, however, was shattered as crunching footsteps approached him. His eyes snapped open, and Damien was standing above him with his hand outstretched. Roman was caught between feeling shameful and confused.

“What are you doing?” he asked dumbly.

Damien rolled his eyes. “Attempting to help you up.”

“Why...?”

“Do I seriously need a reason to lend you a hand?” Impatience was starting to grow in his mismatched eyes, and Roman reached up before Damien decided that it wasn’t worth his time.

“Sorry, I just thought that you’d left with your friends,” Roman said, shoving his hands into his pockets as soon as he was on his feet.

“No, they...” Damien trailed off, looking in the direction that Remus and Remy had gone. “They have plans.”

“Oh. Well, thanks again for trying to help.”

“It’s no problem.” Roman could have sworn that an uncomfortable expression flashed over Damien’s face for a split second, but he unfalteringly continued, “Would you like a ride home?”

Roman’s eyes widened in shock. Damien Taylor was offering to drive him home. “You don’t have to, really--”

“Let me rephrase that. Would it be okay if I took you home? I would rather you not be stuck here for god knows how long.”

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck--

“Uh, yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

“Great,” Damien said, smiling gently. “My car isn’t very far.”

“Cool...”

They were silent for the whole twenty second walk to Damien’s car, but once they were sat down, Damien spoke up. “Why didn’t you call your friends to get you? I don’t know much about them, but I feel like they would have been happy to help.” He put odd emphasis on the word “friends,” but Roman brushed it off.

“Patton gets a ride from his sister, and I didn’t want to make her turn around to pick me up. Plus, I think she ‘blames’ me for Patton being aroace since I came out as ace to him, which led to him learning about that whole spectrum in the first place, so she probably would’ve been unpleasant about driving me home. I probably could’ve asked Logan no problem, but they said they were going on a date with Virgil this afternoon. I didn’t want to bother them.”

“Why would you be bothering them?”

Roman burst out laughing, but after a few seconds of Damien not joining in, he stopped. Damien’s brow was furrowed, and Roman realized that he was serious. “What do you mean? It’s a date.”

“Yeah. Aren’t you dating Logan and Virgil?”

“Oh,” Roman exhaled. “No, I definitely am not.”

“Oh,” Damien parroted. A dark blush appeared on his cheeks in clear embarrassment.

“It’s easy to make that mistake, though,” Roman rushed in an attempt to dispel the awkward feeling in the car. “I mean, Virgil is a very touchy-feely kind of guy, and Logan is obviously dating Virgil, so... It’s not a complete stretch to assume that I was dating them.”

Damien nodded mechanically. “Right, well... Where do you live?” 

Roman told him his address, and the entire ride there was silent.

---

“I really don’t know why you’re so upset about it,” Remy drawled. “He’s single. Didn’t you want that?”

“Yes, but I made a complete idiot out of myself!” Damien groaned, flopping onto Remy’s bed.

Remus sat down next to him with an evil smirk. “Dami, you shoulda seen the way he looked at you when you walked past him. It was like he just wanted to reach up your skirt and--”

“I suggest that you stop talking if you want your heart to continue to beat.”

“Kinky!”

Remy glared at Remus and said, “Seriously, though. The guy looked like he was about to faint when you offered to help. I’m no expert in romantic attraction, but I think he’s into you.”

“He was probably intimidated by me like everyone else at this stupid school is!” Damien rolled over and pressed his face into a pillow. “He’s just so fucking pretty.”

“Well,” Remus laughed. “At least now that you’ve seen his pretty face up close, you’ll have ‘shower-nozzle mastur--’”

“REMUS!”

“God, you’re such a buzzkill!”

---

Patton peeked around the corner of the hallway again. Damien was packing up his things, and neither Remy nor Remus were in sight, which was ideal for Patton’s plan. He waited until Damien pulled the zipper shut on his backpack to run over, using the acting skills that he had learned from Roman to look scared and upset.

“Damien, oh my goodness, I need your help!”

The boy in question looked up, surprised. “Uh, what’s wrong?”

“I was in a practice room, and a spider just came out from nowhere, and no one else is around, and I need you to get rid of it for me!” Patton rushed, clinging to Damien’s arm like it was a raft. In reality, the only thing in the practice room was Roman, who was under the assumption that Patton was going to show up to play piano for him, but what was a little bit of meddling between friends? 

Okay, so maybe Patton felt bad for meddling with Roman’s love life, but Roman had called him up the night before fretting over “messing everything up,” which was just absurd in Patton’s opinion. He shared a class with Damien, and the amount of times he’d caught glimpses of the popular boy doodling Roman’s name in his notebook was honestly bordering on an absurd number. Patton had two pining idiots on his hands, so since neither of them were going to make a move, Patton was simply going to... nudge them in the right direction.

“Oh, um, okay,” Damien said.

“Thank you so much!” Patton began to drag Damien to the practice room, talking the whole way there so he wouldn’t ask any questions. “It was so scary! I was just playing the piano, and this huge black spider started crawling on the top end keys! It just showed up out of nowhere like the big, scary, creepy-crawly death-dealer that it is! I’m so glad that you’re willing to help me, Damien. All of my stuff is in there--oh my gosh! What if it’s in my bag? That would be dreadful! Oh, here we are!”

They stood in front of the plain wooden door of the practice room. Patton grabbed Damien by the shoulders and gave him the most serious expression that he could muster. “Damien, I wish you the best of luck in your task. However, if you are taken by the spider, I will not help you.”

“O-okay...?”

“Great! Thanks again!” Patton chirped as he flung the door open, pushed Damien inside, and pulled it shut again. He took out the keys that he had borrowed from the band teacher and locked the door, silently hoping that Roman would forgive him after everything.

---

Roman looked up, shocked to see Damien stumble through the door of the practice room, who looked equally surprised to see him. “Um, hello?”

“Hi.”

“Why are you in here?”

Damien awkwardly looked back to the door. “Uh, your friend Patton told me that there was a spider that he needed me to kill in here.”

“He must have been mistaken. I’ve been in here since school let out, and he told me he was running late to meet here--” Roman cut himself off in realization. Oh, that son of a bitch! “Patton lied.”

“What?”

Roman stood from the piano bench, striding to the door. He tried the knob, and like he had suspected, it didn’t budge. “He tricked us into the practice room!” He kicked the door in frustration.

Damien looked very confused and alarmed. “Why would he do that?”

“Because I have a crush on you, and that bastard is trying to get me to confess--” He clamped his hand over his mouth in horror as he realized what he was saying. To escape the disapproving glare that Damien was bound to give him, Roman turned away, hugging his arms round his waist. He could feel heat pricking at the corners of his eyes in the tell-tale sign that he was ready to bawl his eyes out. It would be super cool of him to cry in front of Damien twice. Not weird at all.

“You... have a crush on me?”

“Don’t,” Roman choked out. “Just forget I said anything.”

Damien shifted around behind him, and a hand gently landed on his shoulder. “Roman, will you please look at me?”

Slowly, he turned his head to look at the other boy, painfully aware of the redness of his eyes and nose and cheeks. There was a softness in Damien’s gaze, and Roman was only able to keep his mouth pressed into a firm line for the few moments that led up to Damien’s hand moving to cup his face.

“I, um... I actually have a crush on you, too.”

Roman felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. “Really?”

“Yeah. I really, really do.”

They smiled at each other for a few moments when the lock on the door clicked. Roman took Damien’s hand that wasn’t on his face and said, “How about we get out of here and talk about things over coffee?”

Damien grinned. “I think that sounds great.”

#sanders sides fic #roceit #analogical #qpr remy/remus #m writes things #roman sanders #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #virgil sanders #patton sanders #ts remus #logan sanders

[incarnateirony]

I went off on a rant to a friend about things like Gamble Era, and miscellaneous idolized past authors, and you know what, fuck it. I'm going to say it out loud. And listen, listen this is NOT going to be my normal "Whatever you like :)" post like, this is literally an accumulation of horse shit I've seen talked about in any and all lanes for years that have been driving me fucking bananas for years. Don't just read this going HAHA I HATE GAMBLE TOO and then be shocked when I slap at inexplicably favorited authors in this fandom beyond that.

------

God how can anyone genuinely like Gamble, like, literally, legitimately and 1000%, not even about her killing Cas or whatever, what kind of pure trash TV do these people intake in mass that they think Gamble was good at her job I can not emphasize enough how cripplingly disappointing the shift from S4-5 to 6-7 was I know art is in the eye of the beholder or whatever but JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

Fuck constructivist theory there's a point when things are just clearly trash Benefits S7 had: Just da bros uhhhh *flips through pages* Anything else? Are dick jokes art?

Her era was overrun by plot holes you could fly boeing jets through -- and I don’t mean shit like when fandom goddamn made up in their own damn head about an angelreaper retcon even though the reaper in the same episode they said was a retcon said the deadass opposite of what everybody fucking wound themselves up about, just deadass yawning voids -- it had unstable mechanics on previously established species shit, the villain plot was one giant monster of the week that tried desperately to go back to how they handled shit like Azazel as a threat but miserably failed, the monster had the dumbest weakness possible, the characters themselves were unstable in their characterizations and not even in that general "I don't like what the show is doing with them" but episode to episode Sam flipping from ripping Dean with laughter over gay jokes to woke-sounding sentiments

The cinematic style was gone and just vacant, it was neither the overexposed horror desaturated film nor the vivid fantasy of Carver, it just sat there like an unpolished lump

While later seasons also lost the classic rock vibe for budget reasons, that too disappeared in her era so we had no film energy, no story energy, no character energy, no villain energy, no structure energy, and we didn't even have the fucking cool tunez but we had dicks allergic to windex

It even lacked the elements that gave Kripke era value

Dusty americana died, all we had left was teenage girl fuckin emo sad boi drama And even that was miserably piss poor

I have never seen such a visionless fucking disaster successfully air an entire season on my fucking TV

I will never, EVER be able to outline what a fucking disappointment it was to go from S4-5 level show maturation into this negative embarrassment by season 7.

S6 Kripke was still around to some extent and that's the only reason I can deduce, S7 minded, there was any substance to it, even if her writing and editing crew at the time were a goddamn tire fire. And then people turn around and yell feminism if you criticise the giant fucking blazing slag heap that was her era and blame anyone and everyone but her and here you FUCKING go and she does half the shit all over again in the Magicians

(The friend replied: "The season only works in reverse, which is a crime on serialised TV (and just bad screenwriting)." )

That's just it though, it's like S7 we were suddenly back to fucking episodical TV like S1-2 because enough fuckbats yelled about Good Old Days. Only instead of ʷĤε𝕣є'𝓼 đα𝒹 or 𝐓Ħⓔ DεᗰＯᶰ 卄𝓐ｓ Ƥl𝓐𝓝Ş ℱⓞｒ Ⓜ𝔢 it was   ħ𝔞ⓗａ 𝓓ＩＣ𝐤ᔕ  🍆

I mean fucking sure this show started targeting late teenage women but Kripke had started maturing it forward and then Gamble fucking rolls along and it's like she's writing for 13 year old boys suddenly

Well I say that's what she seemed to be writing for but at the time the marketing was gross objectification going LOOK PRETTY BOYS WITH GUNS and that was it, that was the substance of what they gave a shit about and apparently the kind of demographic they thought constituted the sum of the SPN audience which, go get fucked guys, seriously. No fucking wonder the ratings got gouged in half over the course of a year. And fandom yells BUT FRIDAY DEATH SLOT but go sit and spin, S6 was friday deathslot too but before Kripke disappeared as the last thread holding SOME kind of cohesive value in the piece together in S6, that went to shitfuckhell in a handbag at light speed. People migrated to SPN Fridays S6 just fine. They LEFT season 7 and then people plug their ears if they don’t like that. And Carver had to fight all S8 to get it back, /but succeeded, and then-some./ 

oh and lemme head off fandom dumbfuck argument #72 about “well Dabb’s ratings are lower than Gamble’s were so he sucks and ruined it worse” go take your fucking ass and google “national primetime ratings decline” and enjoy exploring the last fucking 70 years of TV history. Pointing out a show crashes within a year because of massive failure is not the same as people being intentionally fucking daft sods to the TV universe’s decline over the last decade so like, don’t. Don’t be that person. Because you’re still embarrassingly wrong.

(The friend replied: "That's why I don't get why people care about what the vocal minority have to say. They *already* got what they wanted. It crashed and burned. Nobody in their right mind in corporate world is gonna be like, let's try that again, let's throw more money into that burning pit That's just not happening. Gay angels or no, it just ain't." )

I mean that should have been obvious when 1. Carver brought back Cas and pretty much immediately promoted him to Regular 2. Misha then got promoted to lead credits in S12, no matter what circles of intentional, willful ignorance fandom argues about what the credits mean for petty piss fights

"LOL & MEANS HE'S LESS IMPORTANT" Shut the fuck up and sit down you basement dwelling shitlord, go watch the A-Team, tell me how Mr T is the least important character

Also unpopular fuckin opinion Robbie Thompson and Ben Edlund are not That Great. Compared to what they were SURROUNDED with they were exceptional but Berens and Yockey could run circles around them both. They just happened to give fandom shit they liked during dark times so it made them fun. Robbie Thompson and Ben Edlund are basically the baseline value of our current writing team on random names. Give me Robbie Thompson and give me Davy Perez and I see no fucking difference. People compare Edlund to Yockey because of certain shit he pulled off but like, no? If there WAS a comparison it’d be like, Meredith, and even then I can’t see any way Edlund is substantially better than Meredith but could list the other in reverse?

But if we're talking about being able to write pieces with more than 1 or 2 layers of impact I'm sorry, it's rose colored glasses that makes people idolize them

Like if people seriously objectively fucking sat and reviewed the methodology and substance of their past idol authors to the demonstratable level of the current crew where I am DEAD ASS HAVING DISCOURSE WITH THE EXEC PRODUCER ABOUT BAUDRILLARDIAN CONCEPTS AND DELILLO in the middle of a hypercomplex postmodern two-directional commentary piece on some scaffolding of sociopolitical representation commentary that SAILS past the level the ‘activists’ in this fandom think about, literally, what people like is Gay Shit They Got lobbed at them or shiny visuals. And you know what, whatever, sure, like what you like IDGAF but don't sit here like Thompson was some fucking Shakespeare. No, your fucking "meta" you -- you, in any lane, anyone, any ship, anywhere, ever -- wrote by COMPLETELY randomly associating whatever storyline you could staple on to try to pretend the text was doing what you want at the time -- is not the same as author intent and actual weight and merit to the cohesive structure of what they build.

YES YES I KNOW, Death of the Author, someone just popped that up in their head, like the ten thousand posts I've made over the last 209349 years addressing how people abusive the fuck out of the term and that's fine, interpret shit however you wanna make it do jumping jacks but don't sit here entering the time you attached Little Bo Peep as some sort of intrinsic value to Dean trying to find Sam in 1492 and act like that's some deep critical shit the authors thoughtfully laced into the piece, these are not the same fucking conversation.

Big hollow voids of statements doesn’t make a better author, it makes you bust your ass harder to actually give any sort of consequential meaning to the piece, and that has nothing to do with the quality of the author or text themselves, that has to do with your interpretation in a piece devoid of genuine thematic subtext so people desperately try to bobby pin some bullshit together. Which also is probably why this fandom can’t tell the difference between coding, interpretation, subtext, and text for their fucking life anymore.

Protip the entire goddamn writing room is pouring that gay shit in your cup that's been triple brewed above Robbie or Edlund’s pots and people are still complaining it isn't enough

Another point that drives me up a wall, "LAZARUS RISING IS THE BEST EPISODE EVER" okay like lmaooooo what the fuck are you smoking Was it impressive as fuck at the time yes it was. But again, fucking perspective. I literally went back and watched it like a month ago and I realized it was a fucking void of content compared to our modern writing, it just had one of the most impressive entrances, it DID have good directing (YES MANNERS WAS GOOD, NO DISRESPECT), and it introduced a character everybody loved. Dean was still a halfass caricature

You wanna know why everybody made that shit gay right away Because there was no fucking substance around it it was a wallpaper of a cool looking episode that was otherwise blank space to run around in on dialogue they should have thought to construct better if they didn't want it to be gay

And sure since then the author room has picked up the big gay ball and started actually turning it into some shit which, great, but this is yet again a matter of structure and intent versus throwing rotten pasta at the wall and seeing if the mold makes it stick. I don't care if you have a vegan recipe that converts the fucking mold on the pasta into a healthy sauce base that isn't what it was thrown at the wall like, and no amount of complimenting the original chef's moldy pasta means it was some tasty shit before you added 10,000 ingredients they never fucking thought about or at least a second chef came along and figure out what to do with the pile of goo.

Fandom would stop being this miserable fucking putrid stinkhole if people would collectively apply some goddamn perspective to the content they argue about before even bothering to engage with uwustiel/cest dot tumblr dot com in irrelevant argument #9238428934 they use to fence off whether they should enjoy the content or try to explore it for its value or not because there is NO. MORE. PERSPECTIVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT’S FINE TO EVEN ADMIT YOU LIKED THINKY-FREE TV, THAT’S FINE, THAT’S YOUR RIGHT.

But don’t SIT here acting like a lot of these former train wrecks were “better authors” or somehow objectively “better content.” No like, you like not thinking about shit that much and staring at pretty boys or whatever, good on you, but you literally like, objectively, some of the shit I’ve seen go down is like genuinely trying to compare a toddler’s fridge art to a Vasarely and hold them both up in front of people who do art for a living. They ain’t gonna shit on the kid’s fridge art, but they’re gonna go “awwwww she’s gonna grow up to be a great artist!” before breaking down on Vasarely’s vector illusion shit, sorry, that’s just how it be. I’m sure the kid had some sort of vision to drawing the triangle over the square that kinda looks like a house but the hypercomplex thought processes simply aren’t there. 

Just people STUCK in weird idolization of shit that is so far past irrelevant to the current piece in play and fighting to win arguments while trying to convince themselves they're right and secretly dreading how titanically failboat wrong they are ignoring the sound of the glacier having ripped through their hulls SEASONS ago. The ice water has already leaked onto the fucking DECK and people are still arguing about completely ridiculous shit or fancying things that were 1/10th of the value of the current content they're claiming isn't good or enough or valid compared to the shallow specters that birthed them out of old aeons. 

Dead-ASS Kripke picked shit because it “sounded cool.” I’m sorry if there weren’t some model guys fandom wanted to hump everybody would be making fun of the fedora-tipping mindset that probably is where the fucking trenchcoat came from and may have debated giving Cas -- sorry, “CASS” because “COOL” -- katanas. But sure. Way, way deeper and more intricate than the Jungian intertextual post modern piece that’s so tightly knit it’s making fandom unwittingly comment on themselves.

I thought people grew out of that shit when they were like 16 unless they were incels

(My spidey senses detected someone unironically preparing to inform me about stealing borrowing the imagery from Constantine on reflex, because you know, that’s some peak intertext right there.)

Dead ASS that writing logic is that motherfucker that wanders into your freeform RP server with Spawn knockoff miasma chainsaw arms under his leather trenchcoat shooting twin Deagles with a vague story of wanting to face his demon overlord father that’s written like a looney tunes villain, in the middle of you cowriting with your lit-savvy friends trying to make a fun fantasy adaptation rendering fascism and corporate america and then he gets upset when nobody wants him to shit lightning -- /fight me/.

SERIOUSLY FOLKS. WANNA ENJOY THE SHOW AGAIN? GET SOME PERSPECTIVE. LET GO OF FETISHIZING WEIRD WARPED MEMORIES AND LINES OF ARGUMENT INSIDE YOUR OWN HEADS ISTG IT'LL HELP.

The day I find an argument that makes season 7 legit good TV rather than, at very best, “fun junk TV I had a cool ride on”, that does NOT involve evoking arguments distinctly born out of petty shipping culture arguments and/or (generally the same) attaching their own shit with a stapler to MAKE it have some sort of meaning at the time it was airing (rather than later showrunners making it add up to something), I’ll eat my fucking arm.

𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴. Carver era had already gone through dramatic changes that deepend the scope of the show and even then, 15.09 Bobo’s The Trap held more ACTUAL commentary on this fandom than Thompson’s Fanfiction episode did as a supposed fandom-commentary episode much LESS 15.04 as an actual meta framed episode. Fanfiction was like 4 years behind and completely fucking unplugged, whereas the base of the show itself is more integrated now in these dynamics than any attempt at meta episodes back then were.

old days it took one goddamn episode of dreaming for people to 1. start talking about Freud and 2. pretend the whole everything after that was some Freudian masterpiece even when, if it were, it would have been an entire avalanche of dropped balls. But two seasons of direct citations and literal manifest avatar-bodies of Jungian psychology elements and it’s hard to pull more than a peep out of the fandom about it because they’re too busy yelling about tulpas or sirens from before most of the people around here hit puberty.

𝓕 𝓤 𝓒 𝓚

furthermore why does anyone that idolize season 7 for what they think fits their bill think season 15 is gonna end how they want when they’ve been taking the piss out of season 7 over and over and over and over again IN THE TEXT as being dumb as SHIT

𝕀ℕ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕋𝔼𝕏𝕋

WHY SET YOURSELF UP FOR DISAPPOINTMENT

TO WIN TEMPORARY ARGUMENTS? THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY LOSING FROM START TO FINISH?

actually you know what

rolling back to the whole “empty/subtextless stuff making people bust their ass” seems to be what you miss. Saying, “I miss empty, shallow, shitty writing” doesn’t really sound as good though so we change “what I like” into “this is talentless trash” it postures better, but it seems to be the people who have objectively fucking refused core tenets the show has evolved over the last 7 years, most explicitly the last 3-4, and absolutely refused to soak them in the form they deliver in. And they’re mad. Because it isn’t hollow. They can’t run around in fucking blank space and plug absolute horse shit into the voids and then posture like they’re supreme in this noncommital wasteland. Because everything’s built out and structured in and loud as fuck and people are debating the actual installed and even dogmatically cited work of philosophers driving the ideology of the show now and they can’t get away from it, and/or actually have to pay attention to the whole show and think about it all as a picture instead of the parts they want, so it’s “bad.”

I just sensed like 50 readers shoving their foot into that shoe. Good.

Jesus christ I’m pretty sure that’s what it is in hindsight after yelling all of this. These characters can’t be used as sock puppets anymore that people can win bullshit arguments unless they literally delete the entire principle of the modern show -- and this goes for MULTIPLE lanes really, each in their own way -- so now it’s “bad.” And that’s just not how this works.

#supernatural #spn #rant #vent #mildew

[corinna-kopff]

I don’t want to say a lot but here’s my opinion...

Here’s my opinion on the whole Trisha/David/Jason drama:

1. Trisha shouldn’t have brought the kids and ex wife into this. I don’t care how evil the ex wife is, that is not okay. That is the mother of his kids she has the right to say “this isn’t healthy for the kids, I don’t want this to happen” she’s the primary guardian, that’s her job. Also, they have nothing to do with the situation, keep it between you, Jason and David and be a fucking grownup.

2. If she really didn’t like the Brandon/Lacey situation she would have spoken out about earlier... this is definitely not good timing and makes her look shady as fuck.

3. Also, a lot of people were saying Brandon and Lacey were DATING before she turned 18 just cause of the vlog she was in, just because she was going on a date w Brandon in a vlog BEFORE she officially turned 18 (she was about a week away from 18 in that vlog) does not mean they were actually dating, they could have just been going on dates w/o being official, and just cause she said he was good at sex does not mean they actually DID have sex.

4. Trisha does have a right to be upset about the tana joke, Jason should, as any good bf, respect her feelings on it and not make those jokes if she doesn’t like them. Case closed.

5. Trisha should also, as any good gf, not joke about fucking Jason’s dad and friends as it makes him uncomfortable and the people she jokes about cheating (I’m calling it cheating cause that’s what it would be if she did)on Jason w uncomfortable. Case also closed.

5. David is not ted bundy and it’s inaccurate to compare them... one is a serial killer the other is a YouTuber, idgaf how similar their amount of charisma is, that’s not a correct or okay comparison.

6. I don’t think Trisha should be talking about how the other members constantly ask David to take out footage and he doesn’t, that’s not her business or her place. That’s up to corrina and the other VS members to take up w David if it’s true. It’s extremely disrespectful for her to say that, especially if the other members didn’t want her to say that (we’re assuming this is true.. we don’t know for sure).

7. Jason dismissing Trisha’s feelings and emotions is wrong. If he is in fact telling her she is manipulating him just by crying from distress or from a situation that makes sad or uncomfortable, that’s fucked up.

8. You CANNOT compare Olivia and Todd’s relationship to Brandon and Lacey’s relationship. Olivia and Todd’s relationship is legal and they are both adults who can make their own decisions. Nothing illegal about it. Just cause you don’t think it’s a good age gap doesn’t mean it’s wrong. There’s plenty of age gaps that are worse and half of them are legal. Go bitch about those and then come back to this one.

8. I don’t believe David forces his friends to do things. He does care about his friends and always gets permission before blindfolding them/having them do stupid shit. Also he surprises them w a lot more good shit then bad shit.

9. David needs to listen to trisha when she says she doesn’t like the tana jokes he need to not make them. I hope he is listening but if he isn’t he needs to.

10. Jason and Trisha should end their relationship because it’s clearly not healthy and they both have their own problems to deal with.

11. I doubt Jason actually wants to hook up w tana and that they actually did hook up... the vlog that they went on a date in was clearly a joke and tana wouldn’t hook up w Jason anyway she’s busy w her multiple partners (no hate to tana but I’m pretty sure she has a bf and a gf but idk).

12. Can we just point out the fact that Trisha clearly isn’t as mad at Jason as she is at David even though Jason is more wrong and made dumber decisions than David??? I feel like she should take a lot more of her anger at David and direct it towards Jason... he’s kinda a douche for not listening to trisha whereas David could be being told by Jason it’s okay to make those jokes (idk I’m just saying).

13. Of fucking course David wouldn’t think it’s weird Brandon went on a date w a 17 yr old he met her a week before she turned 18 and he as an 18 yr old went out w someone in their late 20s... he is not the most wise on this subject I feel like that’s common sense lads...

I think I covered it all??? I don’t think one singular person is completely wrong or one is completely right... their all right and wrong about different things. Also I feel like a lot of this should have been talked about between them and Trisha probably shouldn’t have gone on a YouTube rant about this but whatever.

#david dobrik #davids vlogs #vlog squad #jason nash #trisha paytas videos #trisha paytas #toddy smith #brandon callivo #corrina kopf

[dachi-chan25]

GoT S8, Episode 1: The Pointy End Recap Part 2.

-Once they are alone Tyrion muses about her title and she about his while throwing some shade at d, Tyrion says the last time they saw each other was at Joffrey's wedding, Sansa gives a half ass sorry for leaving like that and Tyrion is still salty about it (like fuck off) Sansa is like we both survived so... Tyrion makes a remark about how everyone that underestimated Sansa is now dead and she looks proud (damn right that is my girl) which in this case sounds ominious af for D. Then Tyrion proceeds to show how far he is into the lizard cult, by trying to sell Sansa Stark of all people that bs of Cersei sending the armies, and Sansa in not so many words calls him and idiot (my girl is not holding back her punches and I am here for it) and Bran is just staring at them probably enjoying the drama as much as I.

-Jon is on the godswood in front of the heart tree (you know what? ?? If aegony was real at all she would be there with him, he would like to show her the place where he grew up. he would be like i am really sorry about my people not wanting you here but you'll see they'll warm up to you once they see what a good queen you are or something along those lines, maybe even a kiss in front of a heart tree, a sacred place where you can't lie) but no Jon looks worried and fucking miserable

-Arya sneaks up on him, they banter playfully and can you believe??? He straight up casually mentions he died (👀👀) they hug and it's very heartfelt and brotherly (honestly no stark reunion has been filmed like the Jonsa one, ofc one can argue they were the very first reunion, but duuude the music, the snow falling softly around them, how they get a close up on both Jon and Sansa's face, the nuzzle, and how bloody long is that hug, as well as the fact that neither of them has had a follow up like just drinking having a good time together) they talk about Needle and Longclaw (like if you don't get how different are the Jon - Arya interactions played against the jonsa ones then idk what to tell you) Jon says something that really bothered me at first but then I really thought about it and I came up with why:

1) He is an asshole so far up D's ass he forgets Sansa is the one who really gave him a reason to fight for the living again, and that she literally saved him in the BotB, and that she made him a fur and called him a Stark, or that she has been doing an excellent job preparing for the war against the AotD , but this can't be, I would believe it if this was a season 4 or 5 or even a season 1 and I knew nothing about who Jon is and what he wants, and after seven seasons I know Jon enough to say he would never think this.

2) He is hurt about Sansa still not trusting him to protect her and their home,and is salty cause she really thinks he didn't listen to her when he did. I mean doesn't it remind you of that argument they had about Sansa undermining him, he was desperate to know that Sansa trusted his desicions (super unfair to sansa still cause she doesn't know anything about Jon's plans) he says sansa believes she is smarter than everyone, when he knows she is not seeing he listened to her and is appeasing D so they have a chance against the NK. And i believe this one because it doesn't destroy Jon's character.

Now he says this to Arya and not in the Great Hall (that would have been super shitty of him and would go along with number 1 case) because he and Arya used to poke fun at Sansa's expense when they were kids and he thinks Arya would agree with him and trust him, but she is totally on Sansa's side and defends her (yasss this is what we deserved after last season's shit show) that Jon wasn't expecting it (dude he was joking he doesn't say it with hate or anything like that) much less was he expecting Arya to say Sansa is just trying to protect the family (as if he wasn't) and we see number 2 is real when in a very vulnerable voice he says 'i am her family too' , like he really wanted Sansa's support and trust in the Great Hall and he thinks she is so angry and trusts him so little that she doesn't even consider him family anymore (i'll be crying in the corner excuse me) even more so when Arya makes that remark of not forgetting about that (like seriously we have seen this boy for 7 seasons like how could he ever forget about his family???) And duuude I can't even begin to imagine how sad and alone Jon felt. They hug again and Jon closes his eyes (important detail)

-We cut the scene to Cersei looking like the evil queen she is, smiling while Euron's fleet arrives with the Golden Company when Qyburn informs her that the Wall is no more, and she looks so pleased (dude also in the Recap at the beginning of the episode the really drove home that d was fire and the nk was ice, and i mean GoT starts with Robert's Frost poem about how ice and fire are destructive forces of nature) .

-We get a glimpse of the Golden Company, and then we get a scene with Euron and Yara, Euron is being an annoying piece of shit.

-now we are in the throne room, Cersei welcomes the captain of the Golden Company (his name is Harry but I can't remember how to write his last name) but she is disappointed about not having elephants. Euron is disgusting again, Cersei is savage with him but he starts complaining and is so insistent that Cersei finally gives in and fucks him.

-Bronn is having sex with some prostitutes, the only intresting thing about this scene is the girls talking about the Loot Attack and the horrible deaths of the guys who fought there (apparently Ed Sheeran's character face got burnt off and if that is not an attempt to show D as a villian then idk what that is) Qyburn arrives and says Cersei is summoning him, she is willing to pay and give him a castle if he goes north and kills both Jaime and Tyrion (also I feel Sansa's kidnap plot is gonna happen).

-We get a post-sex scene of Cersei and Euron, and Euron is fishing for compliments but instead annoys Cersei.

-While Euron is trying to measure his dickin' abilities to Bobby B's and Jamie's my boy Theon rescues Yara, who decks him in the face for not fighting for her, but still they escape (I have so many doubts about this, like Theon went to Braavos and back or he just waited, and how did he know he was coming back to KL after he supposedly betrayed Cersei,and if he knew it was a ploy why didn't he warned D or Jon through a raven) Yara wants to take the Iron Islands (I don't believe she gives a fuck about D she just wanted to take back her home) but she knows Theon wants to fight for the Starks so she tells him to go, and it's a good scene.

-More refugees arrive at WF, and we get a sense of the camp and how big is this army, we get a glimpse of Alys Karstark (she is wearing something similar in cut and color to Sansa, and i do believe people are gonna think Sansa is dead at some point) then we get Davos,Varys and Tyrion talking while they watch Jon and D at a distance. Davos tells them the northerns are not gonna like D, Tyrion is worried, but then Dadvos proposes a marriage between Jon and D (duuude I said he was going for this since last season but he only says it until now, this ship is doomed) and this would be a pretty good idea if the people didn't hated her and feared her already but Davos is not a good politician cuz he wasn't raised for it, he is loyal and all you want but he doesn't know the north. Varys is like nothing lasts and I don't blame him cuz he has been unimpresed by D since Mereen, and now he gets to see Sansa's savvy politics and A+ administration while he probably thinks Jon is just another dumb asshole thinking with his dick.

-D and Jon are walking around, and who is brought up in this conversation?? SANSA fucking STARK! !! Even when no northern lord liked her D is just whining about Sansa not liking her (they really trying to sell this triangle when I know, I see I hear with everything Jon does that Jon has no romantic feelings for d at all) and Jon's deadass answer is "well she didn't liked me either when we were kids" (i call bs cuz whe sansa tried to apologize for this he said there was nothing to forgive so this is not serious) he was trying to joke to light the mood, direct the conversation to how alike he and d are instead of a "I'll talk to her don't worry bae" duuude D is really dumb, but she is annoying again implying that if Sansa doesn't respect her she'll do something about it, we don't get to know what but you can see when d is not looking at him that Jon is not happy about what she just said (but also I don't think jon gets that it was a threat cuz he hasn't seen d's uglier sides and I believe he think he has, and he thinks he can manipulate her not to do anything rash).

Some dothraki riders inform D that the Dragon's are barely eating :0:0:0 oh noes!!! If only someone hadn't burned food during the Loot Attack (idgaf about the lizards at all )

Jon and D go to check on the dragons, and D prompts Jon to ride Rhaegal (Jon while not as afraid as before is still weary of dragons) Jon doesn't seem to want to and says what will happen of Rhaegal doesn't want him to and d basically jokes about Jon dying which is not cute or flirty cuz Jon looks scared af. We get further proof D is flying by the seat of her pants and doesn't know shit about how to control her dragons yet she probably thinks Rhaegal likes Jon because they are meant for each other or some other self important bs.

And Jon is not thrilled dude he almost falls off (you ruined horses for me is bs) and we get Varys, Davos and Tyrion see him on the Dragon. Tyrion looks worried.

Jon somehow takes the lead and takes D to some waterfalls, and she is like we could stay here forevaaaaa and he is like we would be too old (the romantic interactions are still at 0 the chemistry is again flat, Jon's responses are awkward and not romantic) he practically tells her she doesn't belong in the north and she asks him to warm her, they kiss (bland passionless) Jon opens his eyes to stare at the dragons, d is like don't be silly darling, he kisses her again and then fucking turns her around so he can stare at her dragons while kissing her. Peak romance amirite ?? Lmaoooo Pol!Jon is real sorry not sorry he had to stare at the dragons while kissing her making the dragons and not the kiss the focus of the scene. I do believe this was just to appease her and keep her happy and commited to the cause after everyone treated her like she deserved.

Gendry is working at the forge, and Arya enters, the Hound is being a cunt, and tells Arya she is a cold bitch for letting him to die and Arya couldn't give less of a fuck. She and Gendry flirt hard like pls make this canon, and pls don't let d burn my boy.

K Imma need a part 3 cuz the Jonsa scene!!!!

#got 8 recaps #season 8 #episode 1 #part 2 #dachi rants #dachi rambles #jonsa #anti-daenerys #anti aegony

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Italia episode 10 reaction

so nice of Alice to ask Eva on a date!

Episode 10

Clip 1 - Eva coming for Martino

I feel it’s so fitting for this marshmallow sweetheart Eva to start off leaving comparatively non-confrontational messages for Martino that only escalate when he doesn’t answer, instead of jumping straight to “ISAK PICK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE NOW” (RUN BOY RUN)

So Eva and Gio seem to be pretty relaxed and comfortable during this conversation about Martino considering their precarious relationship status - like they actually go somewhere else together and sit down, and there’s not a ton of space between them. His body language is pointed toward her. That’s nice that it’s not awkward, but I don’t know how I feel about it narratively, considering there probably should be some tension?

It makes some sense in that Gio seemed like he still wanted to be with Eva when talking to her at the skate park - he put it more on her shoulders, did she still want to be with him? With Jonas there was that “come find me when you find out” but overall it felt more frayed on his end even if he loved her.

But I loved that awkward goodbye kiss! That little customary gesture that’s suddenly got a lot more weight to it as they’re navigating this in-between stage. They’re kinda still dating but they’re kinda not, you know?

Clip 2 - Silvia and Eva in the bathroom

Note that this clip takes place later than the original version, which was paired with the period blood letter and took place right after the Jonas conversation where he asks who Eva is - Vilde asks her the same thing (theeeeme) and Eva bursts out in frustration at the question later talking to Isak. It was overall a more fraught time for Eva, since it was before her reconciliation with Ingrid and smoothing things over with Iben, was thinking she might have to switch schools and had some tension with her new friends after Vilde turned her past into a group presentation. This scene here happens after almost all of those problems have been smoothed over except for her relationship with Gio (which is less awkward than Eva’s with Jonas) and with Silvia (who apologizes during this clip). With that in mind, it’s more comfortable and less fragile.

It also takes the place of the scene where Vilde puts on a fake happy face in the cafeteria and lies to the girls about being with Pepsi Max.

Awww, it’s really nice that Silvia apologized to Eva. And the comment about how she gets used to people hating her is spot-on. it’s worth noting that this is the second time in a short period that Silvia has botched things with a group of girls, and who knows how many times before that.

But again, where does this leave us in terms of a firm arc for Eva? Once more they’ve cut out the thread/theme of who-is-Eva by not having Silvia ask it. Which I don’t inherently mind but I would like there to be a solid line of her character going from point A to point B, like I want there to be, for lack of a better term, a thesis statement about what this season was really about, since that was a strong point of the original S1. But I feel like we won’t know for sure until that final scene with Giovanni.

The original scene lands the point about Eva’s identity, this scene is more about setting up the group reconciliation with Silvia. 

Clip 3-  Awkwaaaaard

Similar to the first clip of the episode, Eva and Gio’s relationship here feels much less awkward than Eva and Jonas at this stage

Gio intentionally approaches her and makes conversation instead of literally bumping into her as Jonas did to Eva. It’s neutral small talk for the most party, and slight inquiries about Martino, it’s not digging deeper, but it still feels like they’re pretty chill. 

That made the fight seem more out of nowhere, though? Like with Eva and Jonas (and other versions) they were walking this fragile ground where they were being polite, and there was that rush of seeing each other and being like, oh, you make me so happy, but you could also sense how fragile and delicate it was through their body language and expressions and pauses, and so when P-Chris comes around, it’s easy for it to break. With this scene, they feel so comfortable that Gio suddenly shoving Fede didn’t feel right, they were on more stable ground. Like I would’ve bought his appearance suddenly creating the awkwardness between Gio and Eva, and Gio having to excuse himself, but not the 0 to 100 in two seconds here.

It doesn’t help that we didn’t see Gio react until he shoved Fede, like the way it was shot was a little weird. At first I couldn’t tell when Gio saw Fede coming down the hall and if Fede made the comment within earshot of them, since we didn’t get a good reaction shot of Gio to Fede’s presence. Plus having Jonas notice P-Chris and get tense was what prompted the “awkward” comment in the first place. Fede just seems like a shit-stirrer, lol.

Lmao, Edoardo did nothing to break up this fight. He redirected Fede with one hand to keep walking, that was it. On the one hand William gradually descending the stairs to halfheartedly remove Chris from Jonas was the best thing he ever did, but on the other hand, Edoardo not giving a shit at all is funny in itself.

Clip 4 - Not a Meet Cute ... a Start-Over Cute?

Good job, Alice! Federico is not worth the private transportation.

The way they shot this makes it look like the beginning of an Eva/Alice hate-to-love romance, more than any other version of this scene. Right now they have moved past “hate” and are in “tentative friendship” mode.

Lol, so I guess people had some beef with the comment about feminism? I get it, obviously feminism is not about man-hating, probably not the best message to send. But I also thought Alice was clearly making a joke and not being serious about it, so unless there’s some nuance in the wording that doesn’t come through in translation, it didn’t really bother me.

Also, not to go on a personal tangent, but I’m at the point of my life/feminist journey/whatever-you-want-to-call-it where IDGAF about defending feminism against accusations of man-hating, because misogynists will think feminists hate men no matter what you say. You can preface every feminist discussion with 10 paragraphs of clarifying that you don’t hate men and they still won’t care and you’ll just have wasted time and energy coddling anti-feminists that could have been spent on the important issues. For real, don’t bother.

Eva suggesting that the party sounds like a Sapphic shindig and Alice being like “Who said that isn’t the solution?” just ramped up the flirtiness, wowza. Although the line about “sounds like [lesbian night]” was translated a few different ways, using language that was, uhhh, not as neutral as lesbian. I can’t speak to whether it was as offensive in Italian, though.

I forgot, did they say that Alice wrote the message in the bathroom stall? It’s not super important since any gossipy person at school could have written it, but since it substituted for the period blood letter, I’m just curious.

Clip 5 - Party in the streets, puking in the sheets

Is this party taking place on the street? Like are they pre-gaming before they go somewhere? Pre-caking? Street parties seem like a good time.

Lol, Sana is pretty warm and receptive toward inviting Silvia, while Eleonora is like eh, whatever. I feel like Eleonora is the one with the pricklier attitude toward Silvia, which could be interesting to see play out next season since S2 definitely has a focus on that relationship.

“She read it but she didn’t reply” I mean you literally just sent the text five seconds ago, give her a minute.

Making the video for Silvia and asking her to come over is the sweetest thing, damn. Like if I were Silvia, my heart would get so warm. You know, if I wasn’t wasted and two steps from passing out.

So Martino wasn’t invited to this party, he just randomly happened to be in the street hanging out with some pals?

Time for the much-awaited snake roasting scene!

“Did your tits get bigger?” You aren’t fooling anyone, Martino.

Martino’s disappointment at thinking Eva and Gio are back together is super obvious, like he can barely manage to conjure up any fake enthusiasm.

Oh geez. So in the original, Isak lets Eva guess why he ratted her out. There has been a lot of meta and discussion as to whether he wanted Eva to guess the truth, take it off his hands, get it all out. It’s when she guesses that he likes her that he runs with the lie. Here, Martino is the one to say he has feelings for her. He creates the lie. There’s no ambiguity as to whether he wants the truth to come out.

I mean, honestly? I could believe that they changed to the plot to be about Martino having feelings for Eva. I don’t think they will, but I could buy it. Because Martino doesn’t seem like he’s lying, it’s like he’s getting things off his chest. With Isak, he wasn’t being too obvious that he was making stuff up, but on a rewatch you can tell that he’s fabricating this story, especially due to the nuance of Tarjei’s acting. Isak is a liar but he’s not necessarily good at it. He’s human. What he gives is an imitation of swagger and Nice Guy-ism. I don’t get much self-doubt in Martino’s performance.

That’s not to say he’s a bad actor, actually I think he’s one of the better performers on this show, but I did think this conversation was underwhelming compared to the original. There’s such great subtext and especially vulnerability in that scene - they cut out some great moments, such as Eva asking how things were going with his mom before confronting him and us getting to see Isak faking his confidence that everything will work out with his parents. Or Isak saying Eva can’t tell Jonas. Or just the extended explanation of why he did it. 

Plus you can really see Isak squirm as Eva pretends she’s gotten back with Jonas, like she’s playing with her food, and this scene didn’t have that delicious build-up.

Was there a reason why Eleonora couldn’t host Silvia at her place? Like logically I know it’s because they wouldn’t introduce the collective yet, if they’re keeping that, but surely it would be OK to bring Silvia back to a residence with no parents, just two quirky university students? Is Eleonora’s living situation going to be the same?

Sana had a very clear game plan on how to handle the situation, good for her.

Lol, I think this scene inherently loses something without the ironic Christmas music but it was funny to have “I wanna be a bottom feeder” right before Silvia barfs on Sana. Sana’s reactions were pretty good.

When the puking started, I wondered whether they would show Sana without her hijab, and then they did.

OK ... I’m not a Muslim so I don’t want to get too much into this, but:

Sana taking off her headscarf as a mark of her comfort around the girls is a sweet gesture, and from what I understand from reading Muslims’ thoughts, this is OK to do and it’s likely that she wouldn’t get in the bed and fall asleep in her hijab. So that’s fine.

But in a meta sense, I did think oh right ... we’re getting this moment because the actress is not Muslim, and this is a costume for her and she can take it off. Whereas with someone like Iman Meskini, it’s not (according to her personal religious beliefs). There was a few (just a few, not many) comments I saw that were like “Sana’s hair is so pretty, she shouldn’t cover it up” which made me go :/ :/ :/

Eleonora giving Silvia a little kiss on the forehead as they tuck her into bed = awwwww.

“I was just trying to kill Edoardo’s son” uhhhh is that an accurate translation? Because that’s kinda different from “I think I killed William’s baby,” there’s way more intent with the Italian one and it changes how I view Silvia’s opinion on the matter. Like I sort of thought a part of Vilde wanted that baby, for not so great reasons, and that’s why she was insistent with the nurse that she had all the pregnancy symptoms. But you know, maybe not! 

Also, “I tried to kill Edoardo’s son” and the scene ending abruptly with a BAM could be like, a cliffhanger for a crime show if we want to make Skam a much grittier and bleaker show.

General Comments:

I’m wondering about how they’ll handle S3. I think S2 has the potential to be better than the original, but so far the portrayal of Martino has been lacking a lot of that vulnerability that Isak had and the conversation with Eva in this episode reinforced that. Again, I’m not placing the fault on the actor, and obviously we’re just getting started with the character, I just hope they can dig deep into his self-doubt when they come to it.

I’m trying not to get into the debate about this since it’s not my culture, but because I keep seeing comments in the Sana casting debate about the potential lack of Muslim actors in Italy, for comparison:

Islam is the largest non-Christian religion in Norway with about 2.9% of the population officially (about 153,000 people in 2016) and has increased by 26.6% since 2012 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_Norway#Islam)

According to the latest Italian official statistics, there are 1.400.000 Muslims in Italy (2.3% of the Italian population), almost one third of Italy's foreign population (250.000 have acquired italian citizenship). (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_in_Italy#Present_day)

Wikipedia, I know, but here’s the Pew Research Center, a very reliable source, putting the 2016 estimate of Muslims in Italy at 4.8% of the population with 2,870,000 Muslims (http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/11/29/5-facts-about-the-muslim-population-in-europe/)

I haven’t mentioned this much but the Skam Italia social media team is doing a nice job, some of the texts have been really funny and cute. Shout-out to Martino telling Eva to move to California to work as a waitress in one of those restaurants “where they give you coffee nonstop” because, yeah, that is one good thing you can say about the US. We’re politically a mess but at least our diners will keep your cups overflowing.

I’m not Italian so if I missed some context, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamit reactions #skam italia reactions

[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

Dean Spam #4: Chubby - Request

Requested by @totheworldosanime​: Could you write a Dean winchester ×reader where the reader is definitely plus size and so can’t do all the “cute couple things”? Like the guy pick her up and spin her around or can’t do piggy back rides? Maybe somethin like she is their librarian and so doesn’t do feild work as much. & anon: chubby reader and dean she’s wearing spandex shorts and a Tshirt on a hunt with a utility belt where she has her guns and spells.

Hidden Word: Yoda by @belloangelus​

Warning: Implied smut, mean comments, very short.

A/N: I don’t know why people think chubby means insecure, but I’m not going with it. Maybe this is too much, maybe some of you will think reader is coming off like a bitch. Idgaf.

Enjoy!

The two brothers rested against the black Impala, which was hotter than usual because it was parked right in the middle of the empty street, with the sun reflecting all over it. Both men had a beer in hand and, surprisingly enough, they both had sunglasses on.

“Do you really think she’ll come?” Asked the taller one, looking down to his brother.

“Of course she will, I asked her to.”

“She doesn’t like field work…” The taller insisted.

“So?” Replied his brother, “She likes me, and that is more than enough.”

Before they could continue arguing, the roar of another car broke the silence in which they had been waiting. They turned around, as a red Mustang approached. Three silhouettes could be seen from afar, two of which were male and one, the driver, female.

“I told you she’d come,” replied the eldest, slurping down the last sip of his beer.

The car parked right by the Impala, the brothers walked closer to it, smiling to the passengers with gratitude.

“Next time, I want to drive shotgun,” one of the men argued, he had been sitting in the back and was now leaving the car angrily. His all-black outfit had a nice contrast against the red car.

“Next time, you are not coming,” the other man snapped back, leaving the car as well. His trench coat felt out of place because of the weather, yet he didn’t seem to notice.

“Enough with the sword fight, guys,” she said, still from the inside. “We all know mine is bigger.”

Both men rolled their eyes as the taller brother laughed. The other one had walked to her side of the car to open the door and help her out.

“Dean,” she greeted flirtingly.

“(Y/N),” he replied in the same voice tone.

“Just lick each other’s faces already,” the man in black groaned and turned his back to them.

“Not until I say hello to Sam,” She said with a smirk. “Hello, Sam.”

“Hello, (Y/N),” Sam greeted back, trying to hold back a chuckle.

“Now, come here,” Dean purred and held her face between his hands before ravishing her lips in a playful kiss.

“I will never understand humans,” the one in the trench coat commented, tilting his head as he stared at the couple, “he kisses her but he doesn’t kiss you, Sam, like that… He doesn’t kiss you at all.”

They went back to their cars, this time the angel in the trench coat decided to go on the Impala, allowing his companion to drive shotgun in the Mustang. They chose a diner, not far from the motel in which the brothers were staying at.

The waitress was a pretty girl, probably working there because there was nothing else she was good at, except blow jobs perhaps. She could’ve been a model if she was a bit taller, but she wasn’t and instead she was serving them.

Her grey eyes were on Dean, hating the idea of him being all over (Y/N). While the rest of them ordered, he couldn’t help but to kiss her face and whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

“What about you, handsome?” The waitress interrupted, trying to get some attention for herself. She was used to have all of the customers drooling over her.

“I’m having a number three with extra cheese and extra bacon,” he replied instantly.

The waitress did a couple more, unnecessary and stupid, questions about his order, and Dean, being the gentleman he was, answered to all of them without hesitation. (Y/N), in an attempt to keep herself from killing the waitress, looked outside the window by her side.

There was a couple right across the street. It was a bus stop and one of them had just returned from a trip. The boy didn’t hesitate to lift his girlfriend up, swirling her around with joy; this made (Y/N) smile, for she adored to see other couples in love.

“It must be hard,” the waitress commented, dragging everyone’s attention to her, “not being able to do all that cute stuff because of your weight.”

(Y/N) laughed, nonchalantly, and pressed a hand against Dean’s chest to keep him from saying anything. “No, not at all. I’m too much of a woman to be carried around like a doll.”

“Oh, burn,” the demon mumbled as a devilish smile grew across his face.

“I… I don’t get it…” She stuttered.

“I’d recommend you to get back to the kitchen, eat a bit more to see if you get what I mean,” (Y/N) winked.

“Well,” The waitress continued, feeling offended by her attitude, “I guess you can carry him like Yoda or something.”

“I bet you’d like that,” (Y/N) faked a smile and handed the menu to the waitress, who took it without really looking at it.

The dinner went by without any further comment about her weight, like always. Sam and Dean paid the meal, and then they all went to the Motel room, where they started getting prepared for the hunt.

Sam had given (Y/N) a special soap to bath with. They were hunting vampires, and Sam had read the recipe in a book under the promise that it would hide a human from the vampire’s keen sense of smell.

She showered with the soap, which was slimy and coloured in a very dark red that resembled her of coagulated blood. Then, she got dressed with spandex shorts, a t-shirt and put on her utility belt - and invention of hers with which she could carry around everything she needed for the hunt.

After leaving the shower, she hopped on the Impala, where Castiel and Crowley were already waiting. The brothers had rented another room for Dean and (Y/N) to stay in, and so they had two showers for each one of them.

Fifteen minutes later, they were all in the car, ready to go on for the hunt.

They were hiding at an abandoned movie theatre. Dean parked the car far enough for them to move comfortably, and helped his girlfriend out of the car.

“Wow, you’re wearing that?” He inquired, instantly looking down at her bare legs.

“Yup,” she replied listlessly, fixing her utility belt, which had gone out of place during the drive.

“Why?” Dean insisted.

“I sweat during hunts,” she answered, “it’s my consequence for never doing field work…”

“You are always welcome to come with us,” Sam added, walking past them to the trunk to get out his weapons.

“Yeah, specially wearing that… You know we have a room for ourselves, right?” Dean commented, giving her the perve-puppy eyes.

“I know,” She winked and then walked away, leaving Dean almost drooling.

The utility belt turned out to be a lot more useful than the Winchesters gave it credit. Dean couldn’t help but to cheer out loud everytime she popped a new hex-bag or weapon out of it, always comparing it to Batman’s and praising (Y/N).

Crowley didn’t do much, he only made sure the vampires didn’t went out of the place, they needed to interrogate them. Castiel did his usual job, and Sam finished the work along with the angel by tying every individual with ropes, for interrogation.

(Y/N), who was the intellectual one of the group, took over the interrogation, getting the information they needed after a couple trick questions. Then, Crowley took every vampire’s life within seconds.

It had been awfully simple, which could only mean things would be getting worse, eventually. However, that night they had a victory and they would enjoy it as long as it lasted.

Sam went out to a bar, trying to find someone to hook up with, while Castiel followed along, in an attempt to understand human behaviour a bit better. Crowley disappeared, and (Y/N) and Dean were left alone at last.

They were at the Impala’s hood, looking at the sky, although it had no starts. The moon was split in half, but shining bright over them, and the sounds of the city invaded the air. It smelled of gasoline and dirt, but that was their own little paradise.

“(Y/N)…” Dean called. They had put music but the cassette had finished a long time ago and they hadn’t even noticed.

“Hmmm,” she replied, looking at him.

“What did I do to deserve you?” He flirted, making her smile.

“I believe it was the fact that you stopped the Apocalypse,” She said. “I honestly can’t think of any other reason why you would be deserving of such a beauty.”

Dean chuckled. “You may be joking, but you really are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I agree,” she continued, “because you are also the best thing that ever happened to me.”

He leaned closer to her, kissing her lightly. “You know we’re not a conventional couple?”

“Yes, thank God,” She smiled, “imagine how boring it would be?”

“Yeah…” Dean mumbled, “You do know why I’m saying it right?”

“I know.”

“That bitch… Who does she think she is?” Dean grunted.

“She’s insecure. She lives under the sense that being stereotypically beautiful will make her life better and, when she saw us, her whole bubble fell and she got defensive,” She explained calmly.

“How can you be so chill with that?” Dean argued.

“I pity every girl who isn’t me,” She answered without hesitation, and Dean laughed.

“I’m turning our romantic moment into a rant, aren’t I?” Dean blushed, hiding his face with his hands.

“No, not at all,” She whispered, full of sarcasm.

“Fine, I’ll stop,” he gave up, “why don’t we take advantage of that room for ourselves… Get cosy, and snuggle… Maybe make out a bit…”

“You think you can handle this woman?” She purred.

“No, but I think she can handle me in any way she wants…”

Masterlist

Schedule

Requests & To-Do List

Forever Tags:  @dekahg​ @myfriendmagislit​ @thecrazyhatwoman​ @pureawesomeness001​ @bingewatchingmylifegoby​ @cutie1365​

SPN Tags: @dreamingintheimpalawithdean​ @roseyhxnt​ @thisisjessicatalking @hotwinchester​ @pizzarollpatrol​ @colorfuluniversewhispers​ @destiel5100​ @bones-can-only-fly​ @frayedphan @shadyladyperfection​ @baconlover001​

Dean Tags: @coffeebreakandwinchesters @procrastinating-my-life-away​ @rdy4thevoid @baconlover001​ @wonderwinchester​ @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday​

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #supernatural imagines #dean oneshot #dean winchester fanfic #dean fanfiction

[wolfenwingsshop]

Sooo, I posted this on Twitter but, here we go, double-posting back here too.

So, I'm going to challenge myself this week. I suuuuck at drawing X. It's not that he's hard to draw! No. He's quite simple. It's me. The problem is me. It's always been me. I start to doodle and then once it becomes obvious it's X, I choke. I never finish. T_T 

I blame most of this on my upbringing, because I was a fat kid (and now fat adult) I was taught I do not deserve to exist. I firmly believed for a very long time (and still do,) that I am more beneficial to people dead than alive. Why does this mean anything about X? This: I still have a horribly huge crush on that damned blue robot, & because of being told MY ENTIRE LIFE because I am a fatass I shouldn't even think about being involved romantically with ANYTHING. well. There y'go. There's also that my family found out eventually and teased me.

Like, my little sister, love her, but she's skinny as hell and retired professional cosplayer- she'd ether be in my corner or attacking me with our 'friends' growing up. My mom just rolls her eyes if I start gushing about X. (Yet she has gotten into BTS, the K-Pop group, and I am supportive.)

There's also the fact that I got pretty publicly attacked on Tumblr fairly early on because I noticed during the MVCI development, yeah. They fixed Chun Li's face? They also gave X an OBVIOUS pubic bulge and my X fangirl ass ate it up. So, I'm used to being shamed for this.

So... my husband totally ships humans/humanoids with furries. I ship humans/humanoids with anything that isn't the same species, robots, reploids, seamonsters, idgaf it's an awesome trope. (Hello Avatar and The Shape of Water, freakin’ A I still haven’t seen The Shape of Water but GODDAMNIT I WILL ASAP) Because of this we both ship the idea of a certain blue reploid with my OC. Yknow, my icon right there. It's an old-as-hell art I did eooons ago (20+ years) when I was roleplaying, managed to hook up with the X in said RP, things happened and my OC got pregnant. The X in that RP was the adopted brother of my dear friend, NovaStrike. Nova and her wife currently live with me, we drove down to NC to save them from being kicked out by Nova’s abusive as fuck parents at the start of the new year.

Anyhow, back then, Nova found out X and my OC had hooked up in that way and was IMMEDIATELY screaming ROLL FOR PREGNANCY!!!! long story short, the dice favored X being a dad. Annnd his RPer was totally ok with it. That's where my icon comes from. They had a little wolf-eared girl with brown hair and green eyes that we named Kasumi, as I was a big DOA fan, as well, and thought it was a cute name.

I bring this up cause even now, there is no mention of X anywhere on the original image. It's on my DA, but I don't even think I mentioned that there either. It's just my poor OC, beside herself that she got knocked up.. lol, also part of the wtf is how does that happen, but yah. I think back then we just figured "SCIENCE!!" and left it at that. Anyhow... I need to stop being so scared. I'm going to try to not be and get used to doodle my boy and not choke. -_- this is gonna be beyond hard.... but there's also the continuation of my memories of WAS, too. 

Those stories... my memories.. I refuse to let those die. That stupid RP club stopped me from committing suicide. If I didn't have a literal X hovering over me during some pretty emotional times in my life, I probably wouldn't be here. So, since X has saved my life in more ways than one, I will try, damnit. I will do my best. For today, a sketch of the next WAS memory comic. Our X had an apple tree and greenhouse. His special spot, and only people REALLY FREAKING IMPORTANT got to go there with him. Our Dr. Cain, Zero.. our Roll.. people like that.

Then I got attacked by another member- he literally tried to rape my character, cause I didn't want to date him. I got a few friends to come in and make him stop, but they told our X, despite my begging them not to. So here was 16 year old me, whom already, in case nobody was aware, I am an incest survivor, so I already had bad experiences in being taken advantage of.. this is a character I have a huge crush on and he found our someone else on the team tried to rape me????? Omfg. Now, I had to go to that tree. I was playing a cat-and-mouse game avoiding our X for a day before he finally cornered me and made me come to the tree with him to talk about what had happened.

I wanted to die, y'all. This started a nearly 2-week long stint. Once our X found out that? I had to deal with him checking in with me DAILY for nearly 2 weeks. It got to the point where I went to school teachers to ask for advise on what to talk about with "X", no joke. I didn't know anything about the person role-playing as X, and when they were on, they were strictly IC as X. There was no talking to his player... I was talking to the character, about some pretty heavy stuff, weather I liked it or not. There was even one convo I remember.. Our X had found out my schedule pretty fast- and was in the habit of IMing me (this was on AOL back in like, 96, 97) as soon as I got online after school. He would often ask what I had for my after school snack. I responded once, eh, cheese filled ravioli.. something. "X" again, completely and utterly IC, responds with "That's sounds good! Just a sub tank for me today, I'm afraid..." Again, I never spoke to his player. His player stayed IC no matter what. This of course made me go "#^@%#%##!!!!!!" mentally but I digress..

I think the biggest lesson "X" taught me during all of that, was it's ok to ask for help. I'm not going to be able to handle everything on my own, and the biggest one, during that especially, was it's NOT ok for people to take advantage of me. You take into consideration I was only 16-17 at that time, and in an abusive household and living with my abusers, and having my childhood hero telling me this? This is why he's so freaking important to me. This challenge will be hard, but I will see it through. I owe him that much, in the very least.

#megamanx #my art #WAS #RolePlay #art challenge

[nothingneverforever]

The Good Place (2016)

I chose to start watching this only because I was at a very low point in my life in terms of facing a dearth of TV-derived entertainment, having just finished Virgin River (2019) and Sweet Magnolias (2020). Both Virgin and Sweet are not what you'd call .. uh... productions of any real calibre or value or perhaps worth at all, like you can be certain that no niches were filled when they were realsed into the Netflix ether... But they also happen to be epic masterpieces by sheer fact of how banal and predictable and PG and saccharine and inconsequential they are, the best of the suburban vanilla Hallmark Movie genre, and basically they rock af ok?? and so when I finished both first seasons of the two series I was left empty and thirsty. And it was in this lostness that I turned to The Good Place, thinking it would be as enriching in it's simplicity, as palatable in it's shallow distraction, qualities I generally look for in the fodder to keep my eyes engaged on something that isn't the clock when I do my daily evening indoor cardio.

So maybe I should first set the stage by establishing that I simply fucking hated this series lol. I couldn't get past episode 12 (I know, this makes it sound like i already gave it way more time than it deserved, which is the truth) of the first season, because once I decided I'd had enough, it was really fucking enough and I couldn't give it one more second.

As always, here's my shoddily written premise of the series; I don't want to put much effort into capturing it's essence well because idgaf about this dumb show seriously fucking hate it lol but anyway: Eleanor (Kristen Bell) dies on earth, and goes to 'The Good Place', where all souls who were much more good than bad while living on earth go to upon their death, as opposed to The Bad Place, where the bad people go. There’s some mathematical calculation for this heaven and hell allocation basically. So the good place (i can't be bothered to capitalize it every time i type it anymore lol sorry), is run by a head architect who has designed and is in charge of the neighbourhood our characters live in, and he has a female robot assistant, Janet, who is the omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient right-hand lady who can also be called up by any good place resident who has any question for her, anytime. Anyway Eleanor, after dying on earth, was actually sent to the good place by accident, because she was actually a completely irredeemable asshole but due to some dumb boring never-happened-before error, she was sent to the good place instead of the bad place where she actually was meant to end up. Here she makes a small group of friends, some to whom she is eventually honest about the fact that she does not actually belong in the good place, and it is because of this incorrect placement that the good place is crumbling and its inner workings are going haywire etc and everyone suffers from the consequences. So blah blah blah soon we find out that it is not just her, but also some other guy who is here by mistake, and so blah blah blah etc yupp

So here are the things that suck about this show:

So there’s this other guy who also doesn't belong in the good place and who was also sent there by accident, his name is Jason okay but umm it's complicated because the person he was mistaken as (and the actual 'good person' who was intended to be sent to the good place while Jason was meant to be directed to the bad place) is named Jian Yu, a Taiwanese monk. Jason however is a Filipino-American from Florida and I guess his character is meant to be a stereotypical 'White trash' character, but it's meant to be funny or some shit so we aren't meant to be deeply affected by fact that his life was fucking sad, like how his small-town dreams were meant to be comedic relief for us to laugh at how pathetic he is when ... i dunno, I feel very uncomfortable making a joke out of real-life situations that umm aren't funny at all idk whatever... Oh also the weird (dumb/shitty/lame/thoughtless) thing about the show is how even once it is revealed that Jason is in fact his Jason-y, oblivious, infantile, one-dimensionally-tropey self, the characters who know the truth still continue to call him Jianyu throughout...? But like.... he's not Jianyu lol?

So anyway, Jason is characterised quite disturbingly to be honest as an extremely immature dudebro, to the extent that one could call him child-like. In his unhappiness at being stuck in this weird world where he can't be himself and has to pretend to be Jianyu most of the time (which involves being a complete ascetic as well as silent because the real Jianyu had apparently taken a lifelong oath of silence), Jason latches on to Janet the robot assistant. He says she is the only one who has been kind to him, etc etc etc, and begins ummmm, falling in love with her. But because he's painted as a literal baby with absolutely no rational or critical thinking skills, him falling in love with her is meant to be uhh earnest and sweet or at the very least inconsequential and jokey I guess? But like... this isn't funny...? Not when sex robots are a real thing and will probably lead to the abuse, violation, murder of millions of women in time to come because men will be so used to putting their penises into awfully, scarily 'life-like' dolls whose limbs have been programmed to move and who can even utter words of affirmation to their degenerate users that actual human females will no doubt bear the brunt of being expected to perform in life and in bed similarly to our robotic counterparts...? Yea so the good place disturbingly first makes us almost forced to feel some endearment toward Jason for finding a kindred "soul" in robot Janet, glad that he finally has "someone" to "talk to" (quotation marks cos once again she's a fucking robot), and it's all very "pure" and "wholesome" at first because again, he's portrayed as a fucking kid (one piece I read describes the character as "a sweet ding-dong human"). And then suddenly, about one or two episodes after they fall in love or whatever, Jason says:

You guys have fun. This is me and Janet's honeymoon, so we're gonna go try and figure out how to have sex.

Yeah umm so once again, in case any of you forgot, Janet's a fucking robot. If I use a scale of human consciousness out of 100 where a regular human's sense of self and awareness and independent thinking and authonomy and whatever else makes us human is at 100, Janet is probably at .... 10? at most? So yea.... i guess rape jokes are okay these days? I dunno? Literally how the fuck were there 3 entire seasons of this dumb show after this

Anyway when I attempted to put in *some* effort before I gave up, realising this show wasn't worth my precious weekend downtime, I googled Jason and Janet's relationship to see if there were any other similar voices of dissent but umm apparently, according to the headlines of articles, this is instead public opinion:

The Unlikely Romance of The Good Place’s Janet and Jason

Why Janet And Jason Are The Good Place's Ultimate Love Story, According To The Actors

How Janet and Jason broke the infinite love mold on The Good Place

From these disgusting articles, here are some choice quotes by the actors and crew involved themselves:

And the fact that this should not happen but it does makes it very special. We think that their relationship is really sweet. There's something very innocent and real about their love even though that is insane

Yeah, I always talk about this whenever I get the question, “How does Janet and Jason work?” And my response is always — and I’ve thought about this a lot — Jason is slowly becoming a little bit more aware and intelligent. He’s evolving a little bit, and through Jason, Janet is able to become more emotionally intelligent. She’s feeling these things, whether it be good or bad, through Jason because that’s what Jason is. He’s all these different emotions that he can’t tame, and Janet’s learning that. They’re kind of evolving.

Okay so perhaps I should clarify that Janet the robot goes through a couple of 'deaths' in which she comes back as a rebooted version, and supposedly more 'human' each time. So yeah I guess it's okay to have sex with robots if they actually become 0.0000001% more human-like each time they come back to life though!!!!! Sorry for overreacting guys!!!!!

Seriously though how the fuck are they even using the word 'romance' in good conscience to describe the 'relationship'

Actually as I'm writing this I'm reminded of this video by Pop Culture Detective on youtube, titled "Abduction as Romance". Jonathan the host/video creator goes through various movies through history and from contemporary cinema of this unbelievably damaging and disturbing trope, where women are shown to eventually fall in love with men who have essentially, in some way or another, abducted them, annyway here it is if anyone's interested 

I’m calling up this video because in the shows used as examples in Jonathan’s thesis, the female characters fall in love with the men just because the men happen to be the only choice they have. Okay I actually only managed to get through a quarter of the video because it was too disturbing and too awful to think about how frequently such plot points are used till today and how so much of the shitty love we see on screen is completely abusive in nature (he’s also made another video called Stalking for Love which I’m sure is as eye-opening, i haven’t watched it cos i don’t need to lol, i’m already woke thanks), but anyway the bit that I did manage to watch does remind me of this stupid love story from The Good Place that we’re supposed to be moved by. We’re seriously supposed to believe that Janet, through her reboots and whatever awakenings of consciousness she supposedly has, also has feelings for Jason just because he’s the only pathetic dumbass immature enough to think that he has feelings for her because she’s the only person who’s willing to listen and talk to him properly? When ummmm she’s only listening to you because she’s programmed to...?

Honestly I can't be bothered to talk about freaking Janet and Jason anymore

There are other things that suck about this dumb show

I don't know what kind of character development Eleanor (protagonist) goes through in the seasons that succeed that I shall never be audience to, but she remains unlikable in almost every way in season 1. This is even though the entire premise of the plot is that she learns to become a better person with each day, struggling to distance herself from her past (on earth) where she was every caricature of a selfish, cruel, demeaning, unlikable person ever. The few and short flashbacks we get to her earthly past are so annoyingly annoying that it made it almost impossible for me to continue to care for this charatcer her in her afterlife. I know, being in the profession that i am, i should have a great deal more empathy for her and where she's coming from (and i would if the show was not so fucking shitty), so i'm not hating on the fact that she was such a bad person, more so that the creators of the show did little to give us anything real to hold on to at all. Between boringly unreal dialogue, stilted acting typical of American sitcoms, overly defined character traits again typical of dated, unchallenging and unsophisticated American sitcoms, I honestly can't understand how on earth this is rated 97% on rotten tomatoes... I mean I guess if I actually read the reviews I'd understand but hehe I'm not about that open-minded, balanced POV narrative okie? :)

----------

Updates: Haha so ummm eventually I was too bored / curious so I decided to give this show like it’s fourth chance or something and eventually I ended up finishing the entire series and yes I cried as fuck and yes this series made me feel many feels and no I shall neither take back anything of what I said above nor clarify how or what made me change my opinion on it nor elaborate on why I ended up rather enjoying it :-) bye bye

[uberniftacular]

ODDS

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

About equal? I think it probably works out to being more cereal than milk volume-wise, but it’s not like I measure it?

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I mostly don’t use random things as bookmarks, actually. I’m very rarely reading more than one book at a time, and I’ve got a leather bookmark I’ve had for probably 20 years by now that’s what I always use. If I’m reading something else and that bookmark is in use already, then generally whatever envelope or receipt is closest.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Not particularly, unless I’ve been eating spinach recently.

7: do you name your plants?

I don’t have plants (but I don’t think I’d name them if I did have them).

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

All the damn time.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

“Neurons in party hats!”

13: what's something that made you smile today?

My cat dozing off next to me.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Honestly I got bored before I found one weird enough to be worth telling, so instead I present to you: DUDE, NO EDGE.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

Purple! And conveniently, I’m a grown-ass adult, so I have actually been doing exactly that for well over a year now.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

Nope. I’ve tried on and off over the years, but mostly I get a few days/pages in and then get either super bored or super distracted, so I give up.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I don’t honestly think I have a favorite bag. *shrugs*

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

INTERNET. FOREVER.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

That’s making the assumption that I’ve ever broken into a place, which as a matter of fact, I have not.

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

I don’t actually chew gum.

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

A couple of my friends have basically their own accent that they speak in, but mostly only to each other, and it’s really super cute.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

TALL SOCK LIFE IS BEST LIFE. Y’all, I recently acquired a pair of rainbow thigh-high socks and they’re fucking awesome. I love patterns on socks in general, though I confine myself to white-cotton-sock hell when I’m working out.

33: what's your fave pastry?

ALL OF THEM. OMG, pastry is the goddamn best.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I love pretty pens and office supplies in general, but I very rarely actually use them.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

Clean, mostly so that I can actually find things and also not trip over anything (well, besides the cats) when I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee.

39: what color do you wear the most?

Purple or red, probably. I also wear a ton of black, but just because it goes with everything.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

Basically everything Tamora Pierce has ever written, really.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Hmm. Probably my bestie, E, if I had to guess. I don’t spend a lot of time stargazing.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Sure.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Jalapenos. I JUST WANT TO EAT GUACAMOLE WITHOUT BURNING MY FACE OFF GODFUCKINGDAMNIT.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I haven’t bought a physical CD in YEARS. The most recent one was...probably one of Hank Green’s albums, and that would’ve been like 4 years ago. (Well, that’s the most recent on purpose one anyway. My ticket to Kesha’s tour this fall came with a copy of the album, so that’s the most recent CD I’ve *acquired*.)

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Within Temptation’s “Aquarius” for my husband.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I think Heathers is the only one of those I haven’t seen, but I’ve only seen each of the others once, and I don’t think I was particularly impressed by any of them.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

I have absolutely no idea, tbh.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

I genuinely don’t have the energy for Bohemian Rhapsody right now. Because it *requires* a full sing-along, and I’m just not capable of that today.

59: what's your favorite myth?

Hades and Persephone, probably.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

I honestly can’t remember the stupidest gift I’ve given (unless you count the cringe-worthy ones I gave to crushes in high school, but we’re not talking about those). And as for stupidest I’ve received, it wasn’t *intended* to be a stupid gift, but a year or two ago I was given a Loki dress for Christmas or something and LIKE SERIOUSLY, YOU HAVE MERCH FOR LITERALLY ALL THE AVENGERS AND YOU GIVE ME FUCKING LOKI?

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

I’m pretty organized about them.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

@the-wordbutler!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Tired

69: what are your favorite board games?

Mysterium, Dixit, Castle Panic, Discworld: Ankh-Morpork. And, while not technically a board game, CodeNames.

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

I don’t drink tea

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Avoiding shit that makes me sad or uncomfortable even if I need to deal with it

75: tell us about your pets!

I have 2 cats! Girlcat is a calico who’s a little over 8 years old; we basically got her as a wedding present (a bridesmaid’s cat had kittens the day before our wedding, and she was like “hey you want one?” and we were like YES KITTY). She’s mostly antisocial except when I’m sitting at my desk and she’ll tap me on the arm to ask me for pettings. Boycat is an orange tabby who was a rescue, so we don’t know exactly old he is, but we’ve had him for 3 years and at the time they estimated he was about 10. He has exactly 0 teeth and is the most talkative cat I’ve ever met.

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Both!

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Back when we were dating, in high school, hubby gave me a rose at school. There was another one on my car’s windshield at the end of the day, and he was waiting with the rest of the dozen on my porch when I got home. I think that was Valentine’s Day? But it may have been asking-me-to-prom, I don’t actually remember.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Hey, here’s a thing I really don’t have the brainpower for right now.

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

I honestly can’t think of any off the top of my head. Album art isn’t something I pay a lot of attention to most of the time.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

I wish I did, but I have a lot of trouble parsing them a lot of the time.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Wonder Woman! The first Harry Potter film. Um. I honestly don’t know.

89: are you close to your parents?

Reasonably, though less so now than I used to be.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

Gonna go visit my little sister in Ireland!

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

It’s in a bob so honestly I don’t do anything with it ever, just try to make sure it’s clean and combed.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

This weekend is almost over already, so let’s talk about the upcoming weekend! I’m finally going to see Last Jedi on Saturday with a group of friends, and then Sunday and Monday, @snarkasaurus and @vagabondsandconventgirls are coming over and we’re going to spend like 48 hours watching movies and eating gallons of spaghetti.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

IDGAF, Pisces, and Hufflepuff!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

I answered this one already!

#outoftimetraveler

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your headcanons for British Columbia?

ok so disclaimer here is that i’m a fake british columbian even though i kind of sort of live there, i live on the island and the majority of my bc friends are from the coast and not the interior so most of what i can say about the interior is ‘i have driven through it a lot’ but i’ll do my best.

- on that subject bc is like… layers of depth that most people don’t see. lots of people just brush her off as a flaky ditz who is never paying attention to the rest of the country but i seriously feel she’s got a lot of Depth and a lot of spiky barbed inner monologues. She’s really geographically and emotionally impenetrable and doesn’t really let you in on what she is thinking or will do something unpredictable.

- like i don’t think people really get how contradictory bc is? its a climate of extremes that has a reputation for being mellow, its a place that is “liberal” where the Liberals are in reality worse than the alberta pcs (LOL WHAT AN ELECTION I TELL YOU), it’s a place that’s one of the resource-richest provinces in the country that makes it impossible for its own citizens to afford… etc. I think a lot about things like this when I think about how her personality works- she’s not necessarily finicky, she’s layered.

- bc has a reputation for being different than the rest of canada and its absolutely true. like as the second most western province we still tend to think of ab/sk and maybe mb depending on our mood as ‘western canada’ and bc as ‘and bc’. She’s the sort of person who Always goes her own way and makes her decisions on her own, she’s more outward looking than the others for sure.

- worst driver. Hands down. Terrible. everyone blames AB for it but it’s her, the only thing ralphie is worse at is parking. 

- if she can’t see the mountains she feels naked and exposed and can’t stay too far out of sight of the mountains or she goes Nuts

- she probably lives in a relatively modern and expensive house- everything is immaculate, she has a lot of interesting artefacts and souvenirs around her house, her garden is manicured and perfect and everything smells like cedar but it also gives you the distinct impression that no one actually lives there. Looks more like a gallery because she’s trying to support local (esp indigenous) artists. no basement. cute car port and shed rather than a garage.

- she finds emotional attachments really Difficult. like it’s just genuinely hard to tell whether she likes you or not because she can be kind of backhanded or condescending even when she’s expressing genuine fondness. She makes a huge deal about being a romantic place but doesn’t really fall for anyone easily, either she gets bored or she doesn’t want to lose a friendship or w/e

- like for someone who makes a big deal about being compassionate for animals and nature she really doesn’t feel that much compassion for people- or rather, when she does it’s not easy for her to express to them

- There’s an ongoing joke that BC stands for “Bring Cash” and its absolutely true. If you want a chance with her/to impress her you have to spend like you mean it. Its not that she’s high mainten- yes she is definitely high maintenance

- Makes a big deal out of being interesting and fun but when she’s at home alone she just sits around in her underwear under a huge pile of blankets/a snuggie and watches the Beachcombers. possibly while high.

- ‘is this matcha’ ‘does it have matcha in it’ [pouring sugar in her tea] ‘matcha is like… sooo good for you… i don’t even [pouring milk and honey in her tea] like this is just so refreshing you know [more sugar]

- you know that scene in scott pilgrim where ramona reads out her entire tea cupboard to him and some of them sound made up, that’s bc. come to think of it she really is a manic pixie dream girl but one who is merciless and apathetic and could probably easily wreck you

- tea snob, the sort of person who is like ‘coffee is like so bad for you it stresses you out man’ but also a coffee snob who can’t wake up in the morning without it so its a lose-lose situation for you

- definitely volunteered with greenpeace in the 70s lol

- ‘ya i live in vancouver’ - actually lives in like PoCoMo or whatever

- once called the spoiled child of confederation and she hasn’t let that go, she probably has it embossed on a trophy somewhere in her giant collection of trophies that she has on display in the fame gua of her perfect feng shui living room

- she only makes a big deal out of ‘canadian’ things when it makes her money, she actually feels very cut off from the rest of the country but will Always appear immediately when there is a competition of any kind because she’s The Best.

- grew up extremely fast. in my mind she represents ‘ (lower) mainland bc’ while the island i represent with victoria as shorthand- they had to move in together to save money and both of them really dragged their feet about it. She’s still kind of wary about the island ditching for independence again but doesn’t REALLY take it seriously. Is the youngest of the provinces but does her best not to act like it.

- actually super confrontational like she will be doing yoga on a rock as the tide is coming in and be One With The Universe and you could be walking past her and say ‘actually vancouver’s kind of overrated’ and she will dive in the ocean and rise out of the water covered in sea onions and seaweed and barnacles like a horror movie and be like “wHaT dId YoU SaY AbOuT mE!”

- exactly the sort of person to get a tattoo in another language that vaguely is correct but actually grammatically Off like… you grow up with people like Amor de Cosmos and this is what you get

- not actually gluten or lactose intolerant, just likes being morally superior (’and like… almond milk just tastes better yknow more wholesome’)

- that person who always ends up with people mooching off her or crashing at her place- she doesn’t actually mind too much, she’s just frustrated that people only seem to come bother her when it’s convenient for them. But she doesn’t like to admit when she’s feeling lonely so i mean… xD

- also really into ghosts and spooky things. she goes along with bert/yk to hunt sasquatsch and externally rolls her eyes the whole time but tbh she has honestly seen sasquatsch like 10 times and has all the blurry photos to prove it. Same with ogopogo. 

- goes into woowoo new age stores and spends hours looking at tarot decks and crystals and incense. judges you based on your astrological signs.

- has proposed moving in with kate like 3 times but gets rejected every time lmao

- firm believer that tea solves everything. emotionally compromised? hot leaf juice. emotionally compromised during summer? cold leaf juice. eat an entire fruit. eat ten fruits. decorate with kale. eat the decorative kale. got herbs? make rosemary tea. stain all your dishes yellow and make turmeric tea. literally down an entire jar of capers, idgaf. 

- she likes to make her backpack as heavy as she can, blast her own music so everyone can hear it, then schlep it all up a mountain. set everything down and turn it off, sit high up and alone with her little hibachi grill and eat salmon, watch the ravens. paint something on a giant leaf. smoke a joint. look at the ocean. whatever. 

- i think exercise is her replacement for emotionally connecting with people. she rides her bike white knuckled through the rain up a hill and loses feeling in her fingers and zooms back down. Pushes herself to adrenaline rush, always trying to get better, better. 

- i say a lot about her not really connecting with people but at the same time shes the sort of person that… when you’re in crisis mode and you’re under a literal or a figurative avalanche, she will spot you, grab you and pull you straight up out of it with one arm by the scruff of your neck. She’s actually really generous at heart but has just become kind of closed off after being taken advantage of too many times. Will take you home and dry you off and make a big meal for you and wait for you to tell her what’s wrong.

- I don’t know if she actually owns a boat-boat, but definitely kayaks a lot. long boards. surfs.  

- hates BC ferries with an unholy passion, like… that’s a way to trigger a rant right there

- slaps I

- her low tolerance for cold is exaggerated. her high tolerance for cold + wet should be Feared. 

- has her hidden rednecky side. makes a big deal out of being vegan and w/e but does go hunting and dirt biking once in a while, knows her way around a stick shift etc. Dunno if she really drives that much - probably has invested in electric cars before but kind of dissatisfied with how much she can actually do with them re: steep hills, roadtrips, etc. 

- has had to deal with a lot of paranoia, racism, etc in the past that she struggles to reconcile. really learning to take pride in herself again, i think she’s chinese/british, yeah but there’s also some first nations heritage too that factors into her mixed identity. 

- in official positions she might skip french and go straight to mandarin/canto if the job is bilingual, not that she doesnt like french she just Forgets xD. 

i feel like i’ve been talking all day so i’ll stop there but feel free to ask for elaboration or something i guess

#projectcanada #iammatthewian #iamp #pc: british columbia #iamp: british columbia #surfingthesealand #pc headcanon

[buckyscrystalqueen]

One Night at Hellcat Annie’s: Part 1

Pairings: Seb x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, a character gives birth and I know nothing about that as I’m baby free so it’s probably depicted wrong but Idgaf.... one night stand and judgmental Sebby for a minute.

Word Count: 7,324

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your stomach turned as you walked in the snow toward his brownstone; unsure if you should even talk to him in the first place. Your right pointer finger ran over the edge of the photo in your pocket nervously as you looked both ways before darting across the street. You didn’t know if it was nerves or morning sickness, but you felt like you were going to lose your lunch at any moment.

You didn’t expect to see him heading toward you from the other direction but at the sight of him, you wanted to just keep walking and pretend like none of this had happened. But you didn’t live like that today. Today, you lived an honest life and this was the honest thing to do.

You made it to his brownstone before he did. With shaky hands, you pulled out your cellphone; already queued up to the video you needed to show him for proof. You watched him hesitate as he got closer once he realized that the strange woman in front of him, maybe a crazy fan in his mind, was waiting for him.

“Sebastian Stan.” You said softly as you hit play on your phone. You held the muted video and the ultrasound toward him with shaky hands. You watched with baited breath, prepared for any and all outcomes. His confused look, paled as he watched his own drunken confirmation of consent video from three months prior. His jaw dropped as he looked between you, your phone and the photo before he quickly grabbed your arm.

“Get inside.” He hissed as his eyes darted around for paparazzi. He guided you up the stairs and you could feel his hand shaking on your arm. Neither of you said a word as he unlocked the door and pushed you inside, taking one more look outside before dipping in after you. “This is a joke, right?” He asked as he locked and chained the door behind you. You shook your head as you took off your heavy winter jacket and toed off your boots out of respect in the coat room.

“Do you remember who I am?” Sebastian nodded as he hung up his own jacket.

“Halloween party at Hellcat Annie’s.” You nodded in confirmation as he gestured you into the living room.

“(Y/N).” You said softly as he lead you toward the couch. You could tell, from years of dealing with them at work, that he was about to have a panic attack. “Hey, it’s OK. It’s a lot to take in, I know. Just breathe for me.” He sat down and put his head in his hands as he fought to take a deep breath.

“Oh, this isn’t happening.” He groaned. “This can’t be happening.” You pulled your purse off your shoulder and grabbed a bottle of water from it. This is one of the outcomes you had expected knowing his struggle with anxiety. You kneeled down in front of him and rubbed his back reassuringly.

“Here, drink some water.” You helped him hold the bottle to his lips and he drank greedily. After a few minutes and half the water bottle, he sat back and looked at you with tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You gave him a small smile as you sat back on your heels.

“Don’t apologize. I’ve had almost three months to get used to it.” He exhaled sharply as he sat back on the couch.

“How did this happen?” You cocked your eyebrow as your sarcasm kicked in.

“Well when a guy gets a little too drunk, he picks up a girl in a cat woman costume and then the condom rips…” He looked over at you sarcastically as you stood up with a small laugh and sat down on the couch next to him. “Look, I know what your thinking. Strange woman probably Googled me and is just after my money. Probably got knocked up by some stranger and is blaming me.” You ran your hand through your hair as he pointed at you; silently agreeing to your statement as he took another drink of water. You continued in the silence with a shake of your head.

“I don’t care about your money. I really don’t. You want a DNA test before you commit, fine. Tell me where and when and I will be there. You want nothing to do with me or the kid, fine. I’ve already kinda mentally prepared to do this on my own. I’m here because you have the right to know that you’re going to be a father. What you do with that is on you.” You reached into your bag and pulled out your business card and put it and the ultrasound on the coffee table. “I live in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. My cell is on the card. Honestly, I won’t be waiting for your call.” You gave him a small smile and got up from the couch.

“You’re keeping it?” He asked softly as he watched you head toward the door. You looked back at him as you slid into your boots and nodded.

“Yea, with or without you.” Without another word, you grabbed your jacket from the hook and  headed out the door, to give him sometime to think everything over. The moment you stepped outside, you burst into tears and ran from Sebastian’s house.

~~~~~ 4 MONTHS PREGNANT ~~~~~~~~~

“It’s open.” You called out as you tried to quickly tried to finish off your notes from the afternoon group therapy. You didn’t even look up as your door opened, preparing for either tears or anger from one of your patients as you tried to tell yourself you were not going to throw up; that you were a master of your morning sickness.

“(Y/N)?” Your stomach lurched at the sound of his voice and you slammed your knees on the underside of your desk when you jumped. “Shit, I’m so sorry.” Sebastian said as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck with one hand; the other gripping the strap of a duffle tightly.

“No, no. You’re fine.” You stammered as you got up. You gestured him into the room as you looked out at the gym to see if any of the patients listening to the AA speaker heard the disruption. “Didn’t expect to see you here.” You said as you closed and locked the door. You looked back at him as you closed the blinds for privacy. He shrugged as he took a seat.

“Honestly, I wasn’t going to come.” You nodded as you walked across the carpeted floor in your heels and started flipping any papers that had patient information written on it over on your desk.

“Why did you?” You glanced up at him as he pushed the small rake in your sand garden a little bit before finding your eye.

“Didn’t feel right to turn my back on my kid.” You nodded as you sat back down at your desk. You put your finger over your lips and pointed to the open ceiling as you sat back in your desk chair.

“Let me wrap my notes up and we can go somewhere a little more private, OK?” You said softly, used to keeping your voice down at work. He nodded as he looked around the small office.

“So you’re a councilor?” He asked quietly as you went back to typing up your notes. You hummed as you grabbed your notepad and set it in your lap to document the last two or three points.

“For about a year now. I’ve been at Blue River for about four years. Started as a tech and worked my way up.” Sebastian nodded as he got up to look at the photos on your wall.

“You like it here?” You shrugged as you saved the file and switched over to another part of the patient file to update something else.

“I help people get sober. It has its ups and downs for sure.” He nodded as he looked at a photo of you and your mother when you went to visit her the summer before in Florida. You saved the file to the rehab’s mainframe and shut everything down with a sigh. You moved all the files off your desk into a locked drawer to deal with in the morning. “How was your trip out of the city?” You glanced up at him as you grabbed your bag and your jacket.

“Uneventful flight. I don’t think I have ever really been to this part of Pennsylvania before.” You nodded as you pulled your jacket on and grabbed your keys off your desk.

“It’s beautiful here. Little cold but that’s what you get living up north.” He shrugged as you flipped off the lights. He turned away from your photos and followed you through the back of the gym. Other than the soft click of both of your shoes, neither of you made a sound as you walked through the gym; the main room that patients spent most of their days in. You lead him out the back door of the gym with a small smile.

“You have a car here?” You glanced over at him as you unlocked the door to the dining room and held it open. He shook his head as you made sure the door was still locked and pulled it closed behind you.

“Figured you wouldn't mind giving me a ride so we could talk.” You nodded as you opened the far door and gestured him past you.

“Well, how about I take you to my house so I can change. Then we’ll head up to the Poconos. I know a place we can grab dinner and talk. I’ll take you to a hotel after.” He nodded in agreement as you unlocked your Jeep Grand Cherokee. You could feel his nervous energy radiating off him in waves as you started your car, pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the mountain. You smirked at the way his body subtly tensed at the steep road down the mountain into town.

“You drive this everyday?” He asked as you drove your 4x4 with ease around the sharp turns and over the snow covered pavement. You giggled and nodded as you stole a glance over at him.

“I gotta get to work somehow. Got bills to pay.” You watched him shake his head as you made your way through town. You only lived five minutes from work so the trip was short, thankfully. You didn’t realize how awkward it would be to sit next to the man who had knocked you up. You pulled into open field that served as your driveway and parked. “You can come in or stay out here. I’ll only be a minute.” You glanced over at Seb as you grabbed your wheel lock out of the back seat. You weren’t scared about where you lived but you lived right by the jail so you could never be too careful.

“I-I’ll come in.” He said as you locked your wheel. You nodded as you grabbed your keys and your work bag.

“It’s not much but it’s home. Mind the ice.” Seb nodded as the two of you got out of the car and headed toward the house. While it appeared to be a large, slightly run down looking, two story house, your landlord had broken it up into three separate apartments. For $525 a month, you rented a studio apartment on the ground floor with all utilities and cable included. You had lived there for three years and while it wasn’t the nicest place in the world, it was home.

“So this is it.” You said as you pushed the door open and kicked off your heels. “Grand tour: kitchen, living room and bedroom are all right here. Bathroom is through that door. That’s all there is.” You joked as you set your bag between your dinner table and your queen sized bed and draped your jacket over a chair. Sebastian stood frozen in the entry way.

“You live here?” He asked incredulously, barely holding the disgust in his tone back. You glanced over your shoulder at him with your eyebrows raised as you walked over to your dresser, which stood next to a shelving unit you used as a pantry.

“Uhh, yea. I do. I have for years. Sorry that it’s not up to your Hollywood standards.” You scoffed as you grabbed a nice pair of jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt.

“You plan on raising a baby in this house?” You paused on your way to the bathroom and looked back at him.

“Wow, tell me how you really feel.” You watched his jaw snap close as he found your eyes.

“Sorry, it’s just…” He cleared his throat as he headed into your house. “Not what I expected.” You nodded slowly as you looked around your small home.

“I don’t mean to be rude here, but what did you expect? I mean, I’m not a Hollywood actress, I’m a chick you picked up at a bar. I don’t come from money and I don’t have much to my name but I make due and have a decent sized savings account. This is what I could afford when I got sober. Getting a car and paying off my debts was a little more important to me. I spend most of my time at work, at meetings or out with friends so for a place to come home to sleep at night, I think it’s just fine.”

“Yea, but you’re gunna be raising a kid here. My kid.” You smarted a bit at his comment and turned  your body toward him.

“Seriously? First off, I’m pretty sure that it’s OUR child. Second, I don’t have unlimited funds, here. My options are finding somewhere in my budget or moving to Florida and living with my mother. This was in my budget. While it’s not ideal, it’s a home all the same…”

“You’re not raising our kid here.” He said as he looked over at you with a shake of his head. “I’m not OK with this.” Your eyebrows flew to your hair line as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“I’m pretty sure it’s not your choice, Sebastian. What do you…”

“You can move to the city.” He said as if it were an easy decision to make. You shook your head at him and laughed.

“With what money? I mean, a month ago, you didn’t even think I was telling you the truth about being pregnant with your kid. Now you think you can just demand a total stranger to bend at your will because you aren’t comfortable with my housing situation. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Yea, and what kind of father am I to just let my child be raised in a place like this. I mean, you must see it every day but are you aware of the fact that you live across the street from a jail? In a bedroom with a stove in the middle of it no less? Nothing about this situation is OK. Shit, I’m from Romania and we had better conditions there.” You took a step back as if you had been struck in the face. With a huff, you pointed toward the door and shook your head.

“You know what, I lied. I was just after you for your money. You should probably go now.” You lied as you forced yourself not to cry. You desperately wanted out of this conversation and even more desperately needed a meeting. He started talking to himself angrily in Romanian as he turned on his heel and headed out of your house, gesturing to your stove once more before heading outside and slamming the door behind him. You side stepped over in shock and sat down on a slouch chair that sat by your heater. You tried to wrap your head around what just happened before you realized that you had just sent a celebrity into the streets of Wilkes Barre. You lurched up and ran toward your door, stepping into a pair of slippers before heading out into the snow.

“Sebastian!” You screamed after him. You watched him whip around toward you as you stepped out onto your porch and into the snow. “Get back in here, you’re gunna get yourself hurt or killed or somethin’.” You could kick yourself for your choice of words as he gestured to you in a ‘told you so’ sort of way and stomped back toward your house.

“This just proves my point.” He said as he walked past you and back into your house. You groaned and followed him back inside, kicking off your shoes and blowing hot air into your hands. Despite the fact that you were only outside for maybe two minutes, it was still 20 degrees outside, typical Pennsylvania weather in March and you only had a short sleeve sweater dress on. Sebastian turned around to look at you as you rubbed your hands together and he quickly took off his jacket.

“No, I’ll be OK.” You said as he pulled it around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest.

“I’m not gunna let the mother of my child freeze even for a second.” He grumbled as he rubbed his hands on your back rapidly. You couldn’t stop the tears that welled in your eyes and you rested your forehead on his chest as you burst into tears.

“I’m sorry.” You sobbed as he moved his arms around you and gave you a hug. You felt him sigh as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

“Look, I know I don’t know you at all, but let me help you. It’s just as much my kid as it is yours and whether we like it or not, we are in this together for the rest of our lives.” You nodded as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“I’m really scared.” He nodded at your whispered words and kissed the top of your head.

“So am I.”

~~~~~ 5 MONTHS PREGNANT ~~~~~~

“So how’s the new place?” Your mother cooed as you unpacked one of the last boxes in your new place. You scowled as you grabbed a stack of jeans and put them in a shelf in your closet.

“Loud and way to big for a nobody like me.” You said as you looked out the window. “Remind me again why I agreed to let him move me to the city?” You said as you propped the phone between your ear and your shoulder. You mother, Diane, laughed as you grabbed another pile of jeans and added them to the shelf.

“The sacrifices we make for our children, sweetheart. It’ll be a new fun experience for you.” You rolled your eyes as you grabbed the last few jeans from the box and put them on the shelf. “So,  when are we gunna meet this mystery man of yours?” You mom pried as you shoved another box toward the closet with your foot. You rolled your eyes as you unfolded the top of the box.

“Who knows. And he’s not my mystery man, ma. He’s just the father of my kid. Which is still weird to say. Shit, I’m gunna be a mom.” Your mom laughed as someone rang the buzzer to your apartment. “Ugh! This damn thing.” You mumbled as you jogged out of your room to the panel by the door. You looked at the three buttons, one that worked the speaker, one to let whoever was trying to come in, in and one that let you talk to whoever was at the door. Seb had told you three different times which was which but your pregnancy brain kept forgetting… maybe on purpose. You hit the middle button and opened your mouth to say something only to receive an obnoxious beep, letting you know you just let whoever it was, in. “God, I hate this thing.”

“You’ll get used to it, baby. Want me to let you go?” You sighed as you opened your front door and leaned against the door frame to wait for whoever you let in.

“Yea, probably going to get mauled by one of the million taxi’s here or attacked by a blazing horn or something.” You joked as you put your hand on your small baby bump. “More.”

“Love you most, (Y/N). I’ll call you tomorrow.” You said bye to your mom and put your phone in your pocket as Sebastian’s head came into view.

“Should I just write it on a sticky note?” Seb teased as you let him into your apartment. You pouted and nodded.

“Please? I don’t like this damn thing.” You laughed as you locked the door. “So, uh… what are you doin’ here?” He looked at you with his eyebrow raised as he pointed at your stomach.

“Doctor’s appointment. Finding out the sex of the baby today?” Your brow furrowed as you looked down at your stomach and back up at him.

“Wait, that’s not today… is it?” He laughed and nodded his head.

“Yes, that’s today. It’s scary that I remember your appointments better than you do.” You shrugged as you leaned back against your front door. You weren’t typically forgetful, you were just used to looking at a calendar of your appointments all day, every day at work. You didn’t have that anymore since you quit working at Blue River.

“I blame the baby.” Seb looked at you, expectantly and it took you a moment to catch on. “Oh, we need to go now?” He laughed and nodded as he grabbed your jacket for you.

“What am I going to do with you, honey?” He teased as he held up your jacket. You hummed as you put your arms in the sleeves and grabbed your keys and your purse off the table by the door.

“Get me a nifty assistant like yours.” You joked as he opened the door for you. You heard him laugh as he took your keys and locked your door. The two of you headed down the flight of stairs quietly and Seb tossed your hood on your head, just in case, as you headed out of your building. He had chosen to keep you and the baby out of the press for the time being; still unsure how he felt about the whole situation of knocking up a fan on a one night stand.

You kept your head down respectively as he opened the back door to a cab. You quickly ducked in and scooted across the seat. Seb got in next to you, giving the driver the address with sunglasses on and his baseball cap pulled low. You both sat back against the seat with a sigh as the driver pulled away from the curb.

“Let’s have dinner.” Seb said as he looked over at you. You cocked your eyebrow and looked at him.

“Why?” You asked, unable to hold your retort back. You blushed and covered your face in your hands as Seb snorted. He knew you didn’t mean anything by it; despite texting him nearly every day about how you and the baby were doing, you were just used to focusing on yourself, work and your recovery not your dating life.

“Because I said so.” He joked back as he turned on the seat to look at you fully. “We might as well get to know each other more since I’m back in town for a while. All we’ve really done is figure out living arrangements and moving stuff.” You shrugged as you popped one thumb nail with the other.

“I mean, I do kinda owe you dinner from Pennsylvania.” You said with a shrug as he put his hand over yours to stop your nervous fidgeting. You looked up at his knowing smirk and he chuckled.

“You’re too cute, you know that.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as your taxi pulled over in front of your doctors office.

“The idea of dating makes me nervous, I don’t know what to tell you.” He laughed and paid the cabbie as you pulled your hood down over your face a little more. You didn’t have to worry about being seen so much around your house but your doctor was smack dab in the middle of Midtown; paparazzi central. You scooted out behind Seb and the two of you made your way inside. You shoved your hands into the pockets of your jacket as he placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you toward the elevator.

You don’t know where it came from, but you suddenly got nauseous realizing that you were finally going to find out the gender of your pride and joy. You had barely sat down in the waiting room before the nurse was calling you back. After running through your vitals, the two of you were lead to a room by a smiling nurse.

“Still want a boy?” Seb asked as you sat down on the exam table. You nodded as you glanced over at him, popping your thumbnail again.

“You?” He nodded in agreement as he as nerves started to show. His foot started to bounce ever so slightly as he nervously chewed his lip. This wasn’t the first appointment he had gone to with you but this was the reaction you both had while you waited for the tech each time.

“Don’t so that.” You scolded him before he could scold you as you tucked your hands under your thighs. He chuckled as he crossed his ankle over his knee.

“Did you say yes to dinner?” He asked, just to break up the silence. You nodded in agreement as the tech, Tammy, finally knocked on the door.

“Hello beautiful.” She said like she always did when she walked into the room as she flipped off the light. “How are we doing today?”

“We’re great. Yes, we want to know the sex and yes, we’re sure we don’t want to wait.” Seb said as he jumped out of the chair to stand by your side. Whether he was comfortable with how you got to this point or not, there was no doubt in your mind that he was excited about being a dad. Tammy laughed as she gestured you to lay back on the table.

“He’s not excited at all.” She joked with you as she set up quickly.

“Not at all.” You chimed in as you glanced up at Seb. He smiled down at you as he took your hand in his, almost nervously dancing back and forth on his toes.

“If it’s not a boy, we want a refund.” Seb joked as the thankfully warmed jelly was squeezed on your bump.

“No, he want’s a refund. I want a healthy baby.” You said as the room around you disappeared. Your eyes locked on the screen as Tammy grabbed the probe. She took her time, drawing out the wait as she documented your child’s head, hands, and body.

“Well, it looks like no refunds are necessary.” She said with a smile. “It’s a boy!” Tears welled in your eyes as you and Seb both leaned closer to the monitor.

“Este un baiat.” Seb whispered in Romanian as tears welled in his eyes. Without thinking, he leaned down and gave you a kiss, his thumb brushing against your cheek for a moment before he pulled away. It was the fist time he had ever really kissed you and when he pulled back and met your slightly startled look, he realized what he had done.

“He’s just under 11 inches. 10 fingers and 10 toes.” Tammy said, interrupting the suddenly slightly awkward tension as she looked up at you. “He’s perfect. You two have a name?” You shook your head as you turned your attention back to your son on the screen.

“We have a list and some how, every time it goes from one email to the other, more names get added on it.” You cocked your eyebrow and looked up at Seb accusingly.

“Oh no, that’s not my fault. You’re more guilty of that than I am.” He teased as he took the stack of ultrasounds from Tammy. You feigned innocence as Tammy wiped off the ultrasound jelly and handed you some paper towels for any she missed.

“Well, you have four months and trust me when I say, it goes by faster than you thought it would. I’ll grab Rachael.” She said as she flipped on the light with a smile. “Congrats, you two.” You said thanks as she headed out the door and the moment it clicked closed, Seb turned to you.

“I am… so, so sorry. I just got caught up in the moment and I just…” You held up your hand and shook your head, your thoughts sort of scrambling in your head a bit. Did that really just happen?

“It’s fine. I just… wow.” You said as you forced a goofy smile on your face. “Oh my God, Sebastian Stan just kissed me.” You teased as you reached over and took the ultrasounds from him. “There, I fan girled for you. Can I look at my son now?” You asked as you looked at the picture of your son’s face. Seb chuckled as he leaned against the table next to you.

“I can honestly say that I am grateful that you aren’t like super crazy fan girl. You’re just like hormonal crazy sometimes.” Your face deadpanned and you looked up at him.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re really annoying.” He smirked and nodded as your midwife knocked on the door.

“All the time.”

~~~~~~ 7 AND A HALF MONTHS PREGNANT ~~~~~~~~

“Let me guess. Ryan ate all the ice cream again.” You paused your pacing in your living room and cocked your head to the side.

“Not the reason I’m calling but now that you mention it, yes. He did.” Seb laughed as you had the sudden internal debate of which urge was now stronger.

“What’s going on, honey?” You glanced back over at the TV, where you had a steamy ‘Game of Thrones’ sex scene paused on your screen and sighed.

“I need help. And you’re the only person that can help me.” You whined. You knew that you would be pushing the limits with your request as you and Sebastian were still trying to figure out what you actually were but at that moment, your hormones did not care. Seb sighed over the ‘thwap’ of his sheets in the background.

“Is this an ‘I’m just bringing the baby ice cream and going back home’ kinda help or an ‘I’m a hormonal mess and need a shoulder to cry on so I should just bring my suitcase so I don’t have to run home before my early flight in the morning’ kinda help.” You smiled as your hand absentmindedly danced across your stomach.

“Bring the suitcase and the ice cream?” You questioned over the sound of Seb’s jeans. He chuckled again and you could almost hear his nod.

“You’re lucky I had just gotten in to bed, cookie. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” You smiled at the nickname Seb had given you in reference to the cookie dough ice cream you craved nearly every single day.

“Thank you! You’re the best.” You heard his phone go dead and you bit your lip. The two of you had been secretly sort-of dating for the past 2 and a half months, ever since you found out the gender of your son. You both knew you liked each other; you surprisingly had a lot in common with each other, but you were both concerned that your relationship was forced or would be judged because of your situation. Now, while you had kissed a quite few times, you hadn’t slept with each other yet but at that moment, you were a little too desperate to care about that. You wanted more.

Seb had purposely moved you into an apartment that was only four blocks away from his to make sure that if you needed anything at all, he could be there in minutes. He was an absolute angel, dropping by at least once a day when you got off work and on the weekends to make sure you had anything and every thing you needed. You rarely called him for help but no matter the time, he was quick to rush to your side when you did. You only had to wait ten minutes for Seb to let himself in, his carry-on suitcase in one hand and a bag with Ben and Jerry’s in the other.

“What’s going on, baby girl?” He asked as he set down his bag and locked the door. You looked over at him over the back of the couch before looking back at the TV.

“Can we fuck?” You asked as you looked back over at him. He laughed as he put the ice cream in the freezer for you.

“Did you just booty call me?” You looked back over at him and pouted.

“You can blame Game of Thrones and the baby. I'm dying, please!” You begged. He looked over at you as you kneeled on the couch and folded your hands. You gave him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster as he walked out of the open kitchen and over to the couch.

“Is this what you want? Like what you really want?” You nodded as you reached out and grabbed his hands.

“Look, we’ve been doing… this… whatever this is for a while. At this point, we are holding back from moving on out of fear. Fear that we’re gunna be judged for what happened, fear that we aren’t going to work out. Fear that we are only here because of Ryan or that I’m not good enough for you because I’m just an ordinary nobody. Fear, fear fear. Understandable fears for the situation.” He went to interrupt but you softly shushed him and gently pulled him over the back of the couch next to you. He groaned when he realized you were in a plain white tank top and a pair of boy short panties.

“But the point is, we are here. So now, we are at a crossroads. We can just bite the bullet and just be the couple we basically are. Like an official couple; not just going kinda through the motions. We can accept that you are an actor and I'm just a drug and alcohol councilor that will forever be the mother of your son and embrace it. Or we can keep dancing around glass; being mindful of everything we say or do and not get to be blissfully happy like a family should be.” You shifted your leg over his hip and ran your finger down his cheek. You opened your mouth to go on but he shook his head.

“You’re not just an ordinary nobody.” He interrupted. He cupped your jaw with his hand and smiled. “You’re amazing. You’re such a free spirit and you’re so beautiful. Yea, I’m scared but… shit, honestly, babe. I want to see where this goes. All of it. If we work, we work. We don’t for whatever reason, we’ll work through it. I'm falling for you, babe.” He brushed his thumb across your lips gently as his eyes darted down to follow the motion. “I just don’t want Hollywood to ruin you.” You smirked and shrugged your shoulder.

“At this point, honey. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. We can either live in fear and always be walking on egg shells and hiding. Or we just live and enjoy life for how ever long we have it. Live in the moment, ya know?” He nodded and stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about everything you had said with his brow furrowed like usual. You watched the questions dance in his mind like they had before before you couldn’t stand it any more. You popped your bottom lip out and whined. “Look, I will love you forever if you think about all of this on the plane tomorrow and just fuck me. I’m dying here.” He smirked as his blue eyes found yours.

“Well we can’t have that, can we?” You shook your head as he leaned in for a kiss; wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close as your baby bump and the small couch will allow.

~~~~~ 9 MONTHS PREGNANT ~~~~~~~

“I believe I may pay rent and just live here year round.” Sebastian’s mom, Georgeta said with a laugh as she sat in one of the lounge chairs in the New York Presbyterian Lower Manhattan Hospital natural birthing center. Your mother nodded in agreement in the chair next to her as they watched Seb rub your back in the large tub. You had wanted a natural home birth and this was the compromise Seb gave you; he was way too nervous not to have every doctor in the world available.

“Just do us both a favor and give us lots of grand babies and make sure you deliver them all here.” Your mother teased; receiving a sarcastic eye roll from you.

“You get one and you’ll like it.” You growled as you rested your forehead on the side of the bath. Both women laughed as the millionth contraction of the day wrenched through your abdomen. You closed your eyes and twisted Seb’s shirt in your hand with a loud moan.

“You’re doing great, cookie. Breathe with me.” You nodded as you exhaled the breath you were holding and forced yourself to match his breathing. You vaguely heard Seb’s mom say that your contractions were now about a minute apart and your mom saying she was going to get the midwife again as a wave of nausea washed over you. Tears stung your eyes as Seb balled his hand into a fist and rubbed his knuckled on your lower back the way the midwife had taught him.

“Out… I want out.” You said once your contraction had subsided. You grit your teeth as one of Ryan’s swift kicks landed on your ribs. You let go of your boyfriend’s shirt so he could lean over and pulled the stopper. Seb asked for his mother’s help to get you out as he took ahold of your right arm. As the two of them helped you step out of the tub, your mother and Rachael, your midwife, came into the room.

“I hear we’re getting closer.” She said as she grabbed Seb a towel to dry you off. You wrapped the sling hanging from the ceiling around your wrists for support and nodded as you breathed through another contraction. You focused on Seb’s reassuring voice as you continued to tell yourself that natural birth is what you wanted; not wanting to turn to pain killers of any kind if you absolutely didn’t have to. They had been your down fall for the better part of your teens and your early and mid 20’s and you wanted no excuse to bring them back into your life if you didn’t absolutely have to. Once the contraction ended, Rachael did a quick check on how far dilated you were and smiled.

“We’re almost at ten. Should have less than an hour left until we start pushing, (Y/N). We still thinking standing?” You nodded as you leaned forward into your pain, watching the water drip onto the floor from your bikini top; the only article of clothing you still had on.

“I can’t do this.” You gasped softly with a shake of your head. “I can’t…”

“Hey, look at me.” Seb said softly as he stepped in front of you; moving close enough that he was the only thing you could see. “You can do this. You are so strong, (Y/N). So, so strong. We’re so close to meeting our son.” He kept softly whispering sweet nothings as the subtle commotion of Rachael and both your moms getting situated for the birth seemed to melt away with his words and the pain. Every moment seemed to last a life time with excruciating pain that just seemed to get worse and worse. You barely registered Rachael and Sebastian helping you move the sling around your back to lean on so that the soft, emerald green material could bear your weight so your legs didn’t have to.

You didn’t think the pain you were feeling could get any worse in that next 45 minutes… until it was time to push. You kept your focus locked on Sebastian where he was standing in front of you; coaching and encouraging you with everything he had. Rachael had noticed when you had started to push that you could only hear Seb in that moment, so she had him relaying all of her messages to you. His hands stayed wrapped around yours on the sling and no matter how hard he tried to hide it in his voice and face, you could still see the sheer terror in his blue eyes. The only reason he had agreed to this is because it was what you wanted.

“He’s almost here, cookie. I can see him.” Seb said as tears welled in his eyes after an hour of pushing. “Keep going, baby.” You nodded, took a deep breath, let out a growled scream, and pushed with everything you had. You felt a fire-like burn as a blast of white hot pain ripped through you. “That’s it, baby. One more; you got this.” You looked down between your slightly bent legs at the beautiful face of your baby boy in Sebastian and Rachael’s hands. You let out a choked, sobbed laugh before taking one more breath and pushing again. The pain was released almost instantaneously as Ryan Michael Stan slid into his fathers hands.

You never knew your heart could be so full of love until the moment you looked at Ryan. Tears fell down your cheeks and the world and everyone in it ceased to exist. You refused to take your eyes off him as Seb held his son to his bare chest, cut the umbilical cord, and cleaned him up under the loving eyes of Diane and Georgeta. After you delivered the afterbirth, Rachael and your mom helped you over to the full sized bed.

“You did it, baby.” Seb said as he came over and sat down on the bed next to you. You sobbed a laugh and nodded as he gently handed you the little love of your life. You didn’t hear any of the three women say they would give you a minute alone or leave the room as he untied your bikini for you so you could have skin to skin contact.

“Hi Ryan.” You whispered as you brushed your fingertip down his nose, a nose he absolutely got from you. “I’m your mommy.”

“He’s so perfect.” You nodded in agreement as Ryan opened his beautiful blue eyes; definitely Seb’s eyes, and looked right at you. Your smile got impossibly bigger and Seb looked up at you. “I love you. And I’m not just saying that because of Ryan.” Your eyes whipped up to him at the first declaration of his love and he nodded. “I really love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you, too, Sebastian.” He leaned forward and gave you a chaste, passionate kiss before he shifted on the bed so he could hold the two loves of his life in his arms. He kissed your bare shoulder and rested his chin there as he brushed his thumb across Ryan’s cheek; tears of joy slightly blurring both your views of your sweet baby boy.

Part 2

#Stepping Up Series #One Night at Hellcat Annie's #One Night at Hellcat Annie's Series