#this isnt that good but :[ relearning

[hughesquinn]

Roman Josi vs Mark Stone Oct 15, 2019

#mine* #roman josi #nashville predators #nhl #nhledit #romanjosiedit #this isnt that good but :[ relearning #anyways hot?

[icyheart-and-friends]

Please, for the love of gods, allow yourself to consume content/media uncritically

You can be aware of issues a show/game/movie/etc has but you don't need to be aware of it *all* the time, you shouldn't have to justify yourself liking it every time you go to talk about it.

You shouldn't have to feel like you're the worst person in the world just because you like something that happens to have problematic stuff in it.

And you're setting yourself up for failure if you go into something immediately looking for all of the bad in it, you're setting yourself up to be unable to enjoy it! And if you do manage to enjoy it it'll likely just feel wrong because of that!

I'm begging y'all not to consume *everything* critically and to sometimes enjoy things uncritically.

#its so fucking easy to end up demonizing yourself just because you like media thst isnt deemed “good” #i only just recently realized how fucking guilty id feel admitting i like watching helluva boss to other people outside of my circle. or #feeling thr need to warn people about the heavy racism in baldur's gate 3 for the fear of being seen as an awful person for praising the #game despite thst in it. fuck i even feel bad admitting i like watching law and order special victims unit bc of its content and how often #it just goes- *wrong* but like- i realized a lot of that is bc my brain and my ocd are constantly trying to take content in critically. #trying to always shame it bc its “bad” either bc of its content or its creators and thus my ocd has a field day of turning thst around to #meam that *im* bad because i enjoy it. which isnt fucking true. i enjoy iy #which isnt true. i can know stuff is not good/great for various reasons but i can still enjoy it without that inherently make me bad #anyway bc this is tumblr im already expecting people to try to twist my words and intents to make this seem like s horrible thing #idc atm bc my head hurts from trying to just exist and relearn how to enjoy stuff without fucking purity culture and my ocd shame watching #me lile a fuckin hawk #cant wait to see how freeing it feels tho once i stop giving as much of a fuck/worry

[weenhands]

im so upset i think im literally shutting down

#im just so overwhelmed all of a sudden because of this fucking course #i cant just relearn everything (i have the time and ability to do so) but it #just isnt fuckiny right and to get a min 50 on the exam #for a course thats known for a severe fail rate #im just. idk i feel frozen and bad and shitty idk how 2 study for this i cant just half ass understand everytbing #even if thatd EXACTLY what i did for my other exam??? #bc i Did remember some stuff #idk i think im overreacting i need to calm down #bc i am literally spacing out and i need to go home i dont wanna be near anyone im gonna buy some #food so i actually fucking eat and go home and like probably try to gather myself together #i think i just suddenly went down a bad mentsl path and dhdhhxhdhxkchdodruwiyfieud now im fucking stressed the hell out #i need to calm but iNeed to fucking study this goddamn exam is on mondsy u fucking idiot ans u didnt do #good on ur other exams because youre such a stupid failure jesus christ its stats you absolute fucking dumbass #god im incapable of ANYTBING i shouldve killed myself in december literally such a waste !!!!!

[venomroses]

everyone give me your hcs for sign language in the city vs lobby vs zones

#danger days #tlotfk #i'll start #city sign language is basically the same as asl #a few slight changes for like adding signs for things that dont exist irl and etc #zsl is basically like modified asl #some signs are different and theres a bunch of added signs for slang/things that dont exist irl/etc #but someone who uses actual asl could communicate with someone who uses zsl pretty easily #lobby sign is entirely different #i could go on about it forever but it was invented by lobbyborns #theres tons of different like versions/dialects #one sign could mean 100 different things depending on whether youre talking to lobbyborns/juvies/androids #or whether youre in the inner lobby or the outer lobby #and which people youre talking to and where they're from #you kinda gotta learn it somewhere then stay there or else you'll basically have to relearn it everytime you move #it doesn't really translate well to other languages either #some dialects are easier to translate than others inner lobby juvie lsl isnt too hard to translate #but in other places like. good luck lmao #anyway. everyone tell me your hcs now

[misqnon]

when your bf of almost 3 years breaks up with you out of the blue but you got uhhgeehhhh cat

#so im not doing well; #sorry for all the ventposting lately. uour tumblr mutual is showing signs of distress #im being jokey cause i dont wanna be angsty about a breakup on tumblr (like i wasnt already) but uhhhh yea it. really affected me #still is. really affectinf me #all that talk about moving to michigan together didnt feel real and i guess its cause it isnt! #guess ill be staying in good ol indiana. by myself. with the. shit #microphone effect #cant wait to relearn life while also figuring out postgrad when i thoight i woukd have a sidekick for it 👍 its fine

[duskholland]

no because my mind is insane

#im writing everyone a miracle its a miracle and ITS TOM??????? stop it #ok so #basically #when i got back into tumblr back in 2020 i went through a breakup irl #and in my post breakup state i conceptualised this tsh series that i wanted to write #and at the time i was like 'this isnt that deep its just a good idea' BUT when i revisited it i was like 'oh shit this is how i processed-- #--my breakup' #like. planning it and plotting the arcs was just me trying to relearn how to love people #so then i realised that and i didnt wanna write it anymore #BUT i just went through the doc again and its so smart and so clever and so good #and now ive like Recovered from that relationship i feel like i can write this and bring it justice etc #and its a really cute idea #but also itll take me ages to write #bc it's a series and it will be multiple parts / probs at least 40k minimum probably much longer to do it justice (it's A JOURNEY !!!!!) #so ! who knows BUT #i know im plotting a tom fic for the first time in literally 8 months and i know im enjoying it #so that's such a big win everyone i cant stress this enough ahahaha #dont think ive been this hyped about writing a fic since dutch and that was over a year ago #anyways #id say watch this space but we all know i wont be announcing literally anything soon #just ^_^ hi im still here n im coming back #ok goodnight #ive watchde 13 episodes of gossip girl today i need to sleep #h.txt

[i-like-gay-books]

my life has changed since i re-learned how to scratch the itch in my brain

#music is so good guys #oh my god all the music is so amazing #i like many others in the year of our lord 2020 stopped listening to music as much #and stopped discovering new music #and there was always stuff that i was liking like it was fall out boy and then paramore etc #but this past summer ive relearned how to find music that i want to listen to all the time #and how to listen to different stuff according to the vibe or my mood #idk this isnt like something crazy that happened but i noticed it #like when i would fall out of music hyperfixations in the past its made me sad because the itch would not be scratched #but now i consistently have something new that i love #i think its because i paid for spotify premium #begrudgingly it has made my music experience better this year #i hate capitalism #cloudy rambles

[aidenwaites]

I've got to Admit. Yallve got me on the elevenrose train just a little bit

#the au where she isnt fully human/outlives her family and makes her way back into her original universe to find the Doctor again.. #very good #at least! when it's hopeful and relearning to love each other even though they never really forgot #and theyre reuniting after both having lived separate (but ultimately good) lives somewhere in between #im not big on the cynical takes where Rose was unhappy with the metacrisis doctor or whatever #q watches dw #except this time that tag is for a fanfic rabbithole i went down

[boyfeminism]

took a break from hollow knight to draw some more

#this week im gonna relearn how to draw bodies and limbs #i know like. the basic idea?? #like i Remember the steps and the shapes #but im really out of practice #and like this guys neck isnt right but its good enough and the end will get cropped a bit #n it wont be too bad this is free art ya know #anyways im going back to hk #speaking #my art

[50sfem]

I still have an unhealthy relationship with food... ough

#i only eat when i start to get sick from not eating #still #not good! #ed tw #ed warning #i dont know how to tag things so it'll go into peoples filters #ed #PLEASE send me anonymous ask if i can tag this better #i do NOT want to bother anyone who has struggles like this #relearn food isnt bad challenge level hard

[clownrecess]

Giving nonspeaking kids and kids with difficulty using oral speech access to AAC as soon as possible needs to be normalized.

Of course you want your child to communicate, that's fine, that's GOOD. But oral speech isn't the only way to do that, and refusing to give your child a way to communicate because it isnt the form of communication you favor isn't okay.

Its OKAY if your kid never learns (or relearns) to use oral speech. ITS OKAY.

"But I put them in speech therapy to learn to talk! I don't want them to use that tablet all their life. They need to learn to talk using their mouthparts." Why??

First of all, AAC is proven to actually help people develop language skills and oftentimes oral speech. So any concern about AAC hindering development of oral speech is uncalled for and irrational. But along with that, ORAL SPEECH ISNT THE ONLY GOOD FORM OF COMMUNICATION!! AAC is good. Sign is good. Etc.

Saying otherwise and/or preferring your child to use oral speech IS ableist, and yes, it IS harmful to everyone.

#nonspeaking #aac #actually autistic #neurodivergent #autism #aac user #nonspeaking autistic #aac device #disabled #aac users #level 2 autism #level 2 autistic #high support needs #autipunk #nonverbal #speech loss #speech therapy #actually nonspeaking #actually nonverbal #actually mute #autistic and queer #autism acceptance

[backhurtyy]

Everyone is talking about spider dads is making it like a pre-canon fix-it scenario (which I am totally down for and very grateful for) but I really like the implications of them getting together post-Miguel redemption arc. Mainly because it forces them to re-evaluate their relationship.

Peter questions their trust because he trusted that man with his kid - both of his kids - and the face he made when he understood that was a mistake was slightly devastating. He thought they were friends, but something was clearly going on under the surface for him to miss what Miguel was going through.

And Miguel has to undergo the mortifying ideal of being perceived and communicating his issues. (Because let's be real, he was projecting onto miles HARD) Plus, if a Miguel and a Peter getting together hasn't happened in any universe, then he can't reference their script in the way he has been referring to The Canon as a lifeline. But he undergoes relearning how they fit together anyway because loving him is worth it, risks and all. Anyway, sorry for dumping all of this in your askbox, feel free to ignore me.



anon. ANON. IM—

no literally you get it you GET IT!!!

my personal favorite interpretation of them, and i still want to write this fic i’ve just gotten so distracted by the follow up to these small hours, is that they get together before. before gabriella, before miguel breaks canon, before peter has mayday.

and then miguel’s world comes crashing down, and peter— peter has to get them out. he has to pick miguel up and get him home. and he knows that there’s no coming back from this. that miguel will never be the same again. and he tries, after. he stays with miguel. tries to get him to eat. to sleep. to do anything. but miguel has lost everything, and he’s consumed by guilt and loss and grief and sorrow and anger and. it’s just not the same.

peter finds out about mayday, and the first thing he wants to do is tell miguel, because he was the first one he told about him and mj deciding to have a kid. but how do you go to someone who has just lost their child, and tell them you’re expecting one yourself?

and just… things keep spiraling from there. they’re still together, but miguel is pulling away and harsh where he used to be cold, and peter is treading on ice, and it’s just. a mess.

and then miles. and the chase. and everything there. and they splinter apart.

and then it becomes what you’re talking about, where peter questions how he ever trusted miguel, and miguel has to learn how to open up again, and cope with the fact that maybe canon ISNT the end all be all, and figure out how to set that aside and let himself just. be.

it’s just… ooooooh it’s so good. it’s so so good.

#please don’t apologize this is EVERYTHING #i feel like i spiralled from your ask but like #what you said fits so well into the version of them that exists in my head i just. couldn’t handle it #anyways. i’m going to be thinking about this all night now #anonymous asks #answered #nellie.txt #spiderdads

[skunkes]

relearning to drive isnt so great, cheye finally driving seems about as likely as my plan b for transportation (waiting for the whole of the US to invest in good public transport)

#talkys #im never gonna get out of here even if i do find a job bc i hate driving so much #i hate it and then i cant even be assed to practice bc theres no where to go here. and its 115°. #i havent driven in over a month i hate it #Disclaimer bc it comes up every time i post about driving: i have my license i just never had a vehicle to use until now

[alonetogether]

hiiii i’d love to hear your thoughts on the hiatus revisionist history if you feel comfortable sharing :^)

ouhhh yeah ofc ill try not make this too long cause its not like groundbreaking nor like complicated yk i honestly just think both when they say they were still friends AND never spoke are both true statements like... 3-ish years IS a long time, especially for two guys who spent. nearly 10 years together almost Constantly yknow? so...

a lot can change and shift in those 3 years. if we look at like... the lead up to the hiatus you can definitely see patrick be a lot more distant with pete (except for a few examples that are like... oh ok you weirdos made up for a week huh) and its obviously from all the tension and just, natural drifting cause of that tension and then the start of the hiatus i really think they did not speak much at all, both because of the grieving of the "loss" of the band and the anger that grieving would fuel, etc. like even if they always thought it was always an hiatus, theyre dramatic, if they dont do it anymore for any length of time its like the end of the fucking world <3 so start of hiatus i feel like, they did not speak and that was when patrick would like... not return calls to pete, or talk to him much, he probably was fully in like... trying to gather together stuff to make his solo projects and we all know patricks just MIA when hes in creating mode, and he was 100% using that to deal with the "loss" of fob, we then get to pete's divorce and i feel like around this time they wouldve reconnected a bit again but maybe after a bit of back and forth (eg the "what do u want" text bit), a good example of them reconnecting in some form would be pete suddenly bringing out his stump club shirt in 2011 like a month after his divorce

i feel like because of his divorce and ofc patrick being around for all of his relationship with ashlee, they would have reconnected in a time that pete wouldve needed comfort and familiarity and it had been over a year since the hiatus started so the initial grief and anger wouldve 100% died down and i feel like this is when pete would have said like. you dont even know my son, etc, like patrck was also at petes place for a good chunk of time in april 2011 which is only shortly after pete brings out that shirt, however, some shit happened after this that we literally have no clue What and they kinda fall out again, maybe not fully like what happened at the start of the hiatus but definitely a falling out again (eg patrick saying in zane lowe "i thought we were [fine] but then you--") and fast forward then to all THAT stuff with SP being redone and redone way more angrily and then we get to death of a pariah and it kinda really makes them reconnect but like... less to do with familiarity (repeating the cycle of how they got into a tension-filled mess that resulted in the hiatus in the first place) and more to do with, lets rebuild, lets do this different, lets go back to our roots and do it to create again, lets go back and relearn what made us best friends in the first place and we can really... really see that, i wont show it but the leaked picture of pete and patrick at patricks wedding in 2012 really shows the like, rebuilt relationship i think, the youthful joy again that just wasnt there on the lead up to the hiatus nor in patricks depression-filled frenzy with SP and then. well. it kinda just never broke after that, amen. so basically. yeah they both WERE still friends/considered the other their friend but also they probably didnt like each other much/didnt want to see the other for at least TWO chunks of time during the hiatus until the Actual Healthy Reconnection circa early 2012-ish where they dont just reconnect in a way they were used to but instead in a way that was to rebuild from the ground up. this part is a little speculation cause im not pete nor patrick but i feel like because patrick normally isnt that explosive and open about his mental health, pariah just kinda forced the both of them to REALLY talk, because, patrick had put it all out there, there was no taking it back, pete now knew how patrick felt and well. as patricks biggest hypeman he couldnt let that go and it just forced patrick to just fucking talk about how he felt for once, which allowed pete to recontextualise shit and also heal from shit which in turn let him help patrick heal a bit, esp with those early songwriting hang outs p2 had, which then in turn made patrick more open to asking how joe felt which allowed joe to feel happy to come back to fob which in turn rebuilt fall out boy. etc. yeah. anyway hi. i love to ramble

#me when i said i wont make this long and then i proceed to make it long

[rabidgeneralgrevious]

hmmmmm,,,,, all im saying is. Mullvans is the closure that the absolute fucking tragedy of Chrisker will never truly have

SO,,, JAKES WHOLE FUCKING CHARACTER ARC WAS THAT HE WAS DIFFERENT, BETTER THAN HIS FATHER, HE HAS ALL THESE FUCKING EXPECTATIONS PUT ONTO HIM THAT HES JUST THIS SHITTY ASS WESKERSPAWN MERCENARY WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT MONEY AND VIOLENCE OR WHATEVER— BUT HES NOT!!!! HES A GENUINELY GOOD FUCKING GUY!!! (SAVE FOR THE EDGY MISOGYNISTIC 2012 WRITING BUT THATS A WHOLE NOTHER RANT) AND WE SEE THAT HE DOES CARE ABOUT STUFF DESPITE HIS PAST AS AN ADOLESCENT RAISED NOT TO— THIS IN CONTRAST TO WESKER BEING SO UNREPARABLY BRAINWASHED INTO HIS SHIT IS JUST SO 👹👹👹👹 LIKE YALL HAVENT HEARD MY WESKER RANTS BUT GOOD GOD— JAKES WHOLE THING IS THAT HE OVERCOMES THE EXPECTATIONS OF EVERYONE ELSE AND IS LIKE A GOOD DECENT FUCKING PERSON DESPITE THOSE EXPECTATIONS. ON TOP OF THAT HE HAS THIS HUGE ASS EXPECTATION FROM EVERYONE THAT HES RESPONSIBLE FOR RIGHTING HIS FATHERS WRONGS— WHICH FIRST OF ALL HOLY SHIT, SECOND OF ALL HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY OBLIGATION, BUT HE TAKES ON THIS RESPONSIBILITY ANYWAYS— AND JAKE,,, POOKIE,,, BBYGIRL HE HAS THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT RELEARNING HOW TO CARE AND IT MAKES ME MISERABLEEEEEEEEEE

uhm 🫡 ANYWAYS,, AND FUCK— PIERS IS THE HUMAN REPRESENTATION OF WHAT THE BSAA WANTS OF CHRIS. IK FOR A FACT THAT CHRIS SEES HIS YOUNGER SELF IN PIERS,, HE SEES THE CHRIS BEFORE ALL THE SHIT HIT THE FAN- THE CHRIS WHO WAS DETERMINED TO FIGHT UNTIL HE WAS SIX FEET UNDER. THATS WHY HES CHRIS’ PROTÉGÉ. CHRIS KNOWS THAT PIERS IS CAPABLE OF WHAT HE ISNT, BECAUSE CHRIS IS A RUINED MAN AND IN HIS EYES PIERS HAS THE CAPACITY TO BE MORE RESILIENT THAN HE WAS. PIERS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MARTYR PIERS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A TOOL… PIERS IS THE ACOLYTE TO THE GREATER GOOD AND HE IS UTTERLY DEVOTED TO SACRIFICE. 😱😭‼️⁉️🗣️

THEY ARE BOTH SUCH FUCKING ACCIDENTAL CHARACTER FOILS. AN EXPLORATION OF GENERATIONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND THE GRANDIOSE EXPECTATIONS OTHERS PLACE ONTO YOU. PASSING THE TORCH FROM SHOES YOU DONT FIT. THEY ARE SO 🗣️🗣️🗣️⁉️‼️‼️‼️‼️ JUST THE IDEA OF EXPLORING THAT DYNAMIC. THEY ARE BODY SO GOOD AND HUMAN! THEY R BOTH JNFECTED. THEY ARE BOTH TOOLS. THEY ARE BOTH RAISED TO BE SOLDIERS. THEY BOTH R TRYING THEIR BEST.

something something the younger crew are all narratives for Bioterror’s longterm impacts/potential/consequences— and that as the children/protégés/wards of the og crew, they had the potential to neatly wrap up a lot of messy/vague conclusions from earlier shit and even the implications of generational trauma we see CRUMBS of in the games!!!! ALL THAT AND THEY WERE ALL FUCKIN WASTED POTENTIAL- I’m talking about you Sherry, you Jake, YOU PIERS,,,,

thx for coming to my ted talk,, uhhh like comment and subscribe 🤭 dont forget to hit that bell 💥🛎️ for notifications on further content from urs truly 🫶🫶🫶

#there are worse things than being a dog you know #IMMA KMS BRUHHHH THIS SHITS OURGRHJHG #don’t you see how much strength that takes? #FUCKING LOSING MY MIND BITING MY HANDS OFF ETC #mullvans #mullivans #jake muller #piers nivans #sorry im absolutely hogging these fucking tags

[sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler]

the holidays are always really fucking weird, i dont like many of them but specifically December is just- ew

Anyway ill just thro my mini pitty party real quick:

These song explains how I feel about christmas time *perfectly*

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas by mother mother (christmas playlist)

From heres basically a trauma dump about being in the hospital, but i typically talk about this in a tone more like "oh yea! i nearly died lmao"

When i was like, just turning 6 I had 💫pneumonia💫 & needed to go to the 💫hospital💫. So I spent like, 12/11-31/15 in the hospital. along the way i had these treats happen (not really in order, 💜=story from family member, ❤=i actually remember this)

💜being diagnosed by my sisters 16 yo boyfriend by looking at my gums, whereas medical staff took 4 days

❤Some mcdonalds, cool auntys banana bread, jello & making popin cookin sets w/ my older sister

💜a 5 day medically induced coma

lung surgery therefor cool fuckin scars on my back (WHICH I CANT FUCKING SHOW ANYONE CAUSE I WAS CURSED W/ TITS AND 2/3 ARE UNDER MY BRA)

💜waking up from said coma periodically only to say "im scared" w/ my mom trying to comfort me but i had ear shit going on

💜Finnaly actually woke up, yelled "IM DEAD", which is reportadly the scariest shit my dad has ever heard, my mom asks if i hurt, i say yes, she like "ur not dead honey" again i was 6 & in & out of a coma 😂 (idk why but I've always found that story funny)

💜my parents being thretened w/ truancy by my dumbass school

❤Christmas, I had *2* mini christmas trees in my hospital room 💅 1 was cool but my cool uncle & aunty got me a pink 1 which I still have to this day as a lamp

💜only trusting 1 of my doctors cause he looked like my grandfather who'd been deceased for 2years at that point

❤💜going on walks around the kids floor in a wheelchair & stealing a little gingerbread beanie baby ornament but they didnt care so they just let me keep it & i still have it somehwere.

💜my mom met a lady who had a son who was a few months old & they didnt expect to live past a couple weeks but he *did* (more on that later)

💜had food in the cafeteria and i proceeded to rub the pizza i got *into my hair*. My response? "Its just cheese" my family and I quote that to this day lmao.

💜being reverted to a toddler for a good minute (someone asked my age i said i was 3, i was not) & needing to relearn walking, talking, the little bit of reading i knew & getting into a shower w/out being scared of being pulled down the drain

❤said dude who asked my age worked at the hospital cafeteria & we visited him after most of my appointments. miss u uncle (that was what he went by), wish u well. Dont know where he since covid cause the part of the building cafeteria was in was torn down.

❤and after all that later and i got releaced on new years eve :>

results:

From there forward i had a 20-30minute nebulizer to do every 4 hours (which my parents had to wake up at like 2am for a half hour for), 2 twice daily inhailers, 2 nasil sprays, "the tire" (tastes like shit and makes me feel anxious) (that isnt even all of it my mom counted 8 meds at one point) and i slowly dropped them year by year till they had me down to just rescue inhailer as needed & if my lungs r really shit for a min i go on the tire. (Tire=prednisolone but what 6 year old is remembering that name lol)

specialist appointments every week, then 2 weeks, then every month, 3 months, 6 months, now im at checkup every year and check in as needed

"Look whos inside again" by bo burnham is my life in a nutshell

To this day the smell of a consentrated area of hand sanatizer just has me stop in my tracks lol.

seeing a picture of tiny me on my parents facebook feed yearly of me unconscious in a hospital bed w/ tubes in mah face

couple of close friend i met post hospital (keep in mind i was like 7) didn't believe me so i ran around the playground cursing them the fuck out (never did get in trouble for that 😂) ((I still talk to 1 of them shes cool))

Idk where to put this but about that kid I was talking about before, I found out last year around this time he had just died- of 💫pneumonia💫. yea that fucked me up for a good minute, he was around 6 too which didn't help, I never even met the kid and I still had a weird form of survivors guilt.

Anyway have a merry fucking christmas i really dont get this holiday lol, treat yourself kindly, feel free to be the grinch you are and explain in detail why u hate the holidays u arent alone lol

#tw hospital #cw hospital #health #hospital #medicine #tw medication #tw medical #asthma #Asthmatic #Im a grinch #the grinch #fuck christmas #xmas #christmas #holidays #merry fucking christmas #good afternoon #vent #personal vent #tw vent #trauma dump #vent post